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karimac · 9 months

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...in the details, Part 13

A/N: Warning for this series: 18+ audience (minors DNI), some cinematic level violence, some fluff and angst. Doubt that smut will be involved, but it may be implied. I’ll make sure that is noted clearly if it pops up.

All relationships, at this point in the story, are platonic, but there is romance in the cards for Kari and Bucky.

Please do not repost or translate my work. Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open! Please send an ask, and I will gladly add you to the list. If I have added you and you do not wish to be on the list, please let me know, and I’ll take you off the list.

Word count: 5.3k, give or take a word. Not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

Masterlist

It was the morning after the final battle with the Flag Smashers, and all you wanted to do was sleep and not talk to anyone, but here you were, in your kitchen, frosting cupcakes.

Sarah Wilson had been on the phone with you earlier talking about the party she was organizing to celebrate Sam’s accepting the mantle of Captain America, and while you were not planning to actually go to the party, you decided to drop off some cupcakes for the event. And maybe that cake Sam and Bucky drooled over when they last visited your bakery. The one with the Oreo cookies all over the top.

You were not about to tell Sarah that you had gotten your clock cleaned during that fight last night. Oh no. Never admit stuff like that, even if your body was still a long way from being fully healed.

“Why do I do this to myself, Hickory?” you asked your cat as he sat on the floor near the kitchen window, the streams of light from this early Brooklyn morning splashing their sunny glow over his orange fur. “I really am a pushover. But her boys were so sweet, and I couldn’t let them not have good desserts for the party, could I?”

Hickory was a cat of many words most of the time, so his tiny mewls this morning seemed a bit off. He must have been as exhausted as you felt at the moment.

“I’ll be fine, Hickenboogie,” you said as you watched the orange tabby roll over to let the sun warm his belly. “Even if I’m making, what? A hundred cupcakes?”

As you went to set your bowl of frosting to the side, there was loud rapping at your apartment door. Someone had gotten into the building without being buzzed in. Fantastic! Just what you needed.

“Kari? Are you in there? Sarah called and asked me to check on you.”

Bucky. For crying out loud, what was he doing here? You really doubted Sarah asked him to do anything. He was likely just being nosy after last night.

“James, would you just leave me alone! I am not going to Delacroix. Just go down and have a good time. Sarah knows I’m not going to be there. I’d only be a fifth wheel anyway. I saw you flirting with her. She seems like a really nice person, and even if Sam kicks up a fuss, I think you should go for it.”

You never called Bucky by his first name. Ever. OK, maybe once in 1943. And here he was, standing outside the front door of your apartment, suddenly developing the ability to get under your skin.

“I flirt with everybody. Just ask Sam!” Bucky said a bit too loudly for your liking. The funny thing was, you remembered when Bucky flirted with everybody. That was not what he was doing now. He was trying to see if he still knew how to flirt with everyone. Very different concept, and you fully understood why he needed to be able to do it on his own terms. You also wished he were flirting with you, but you really had no one to blame for this mess except yourself.

“What exactly are you afraid of this time? I’m sure Bruce and Wong can live without seeing you for another 24 hours, or was Darcy bugging you again? You do not need to go out on some speed dating thing with her. She means well, but, you know, she doesn’t really understand how big it is for both of us,” he explained as you heard him fidgeting with the door handle. Master assassin and lock picker? Of course he’d have that skill set, but he seemed to be nothing more than antsy at the moment. Then he hit you with the question you didn’t want to hear.

“Was it what happened after Sam’s speech?”

“You mean when Walker decided to be my new best buddy and make sure I was OK?” you replied in a very fake chipper tone. “Or when you decided to start asking too many questions about my health? You don’t want me in your head. Fine. I get it. I don’t need you babysitting me. I just get tired sometimes. Especially if my empathic filtering goes off the charts. The kids in that tour bus were terrified. I drank in a lot of their pain to keep them calm. It isn’t exactly fun, Buck. And I left myself open. I am only human. I do make mistakes.”

While you did your best not to think about what happened, your mind raced as you remembered the group of grade schoolers from Cottonwood, Arizona, all scared beyond words as Flag Smashers boarded their bus. Those poor kids witnessed their driver being tossed out the door and one of their teachers being knocked out before you could even get into the bus. You had to pull out all the stops to keep them calm, even if it meant you falling apart by the end of the night.

“Can I at least come in? Your neighbors might not appreciate me playing 20 Questions outside your do…”

You flicked your hand and opened the door just as Bucky leaned into it a tad. He wasn’t expecting it, so he stumbled slightly as it opened. “Sorry. I’m kind of busy making cupcakes. I’ll get them to Sarah by tomorrow morning. And that cake you and Sam liked. The Oreo cookie one. I thought Cass and AJ might enjoy it, too.”

“You are dodging. Again,” Bucky said as he sat down on a stool near your kitchen counter. “Whoa, sorry, Hickory,” he added as the orange tabby looked up at him but then went back to sleep. “What are you trying to avoid now?”

“Buck, please. You haven’t wanted to share every memory you have, and for good reason. Some of the things that happened since we started working together, they remind me a bit too much of when my husbands died. I don’t exactly want to relive all that.”

That was only a fraction of what was going on in your life at the moment, but you were not about to drop that ton of bricks in Bucky’s lap, even if it meant you had to keep up some stupid façade and lie as if your life depended on it.

“You had two, right? Husbands,” Bucky asked as you nodded. “Can I help frost or something?”

“Yes, Galen and Thomas,” you said as you put a tray of cupcakes in front of Bucky and got him a bowl of frosting, a spatula and a knife. “Pick your instrument of choice for the frosting,” you added before you looked at Bucky’s clothes and shook your head. “Want an apron? Don’t want you messing up your Henley.”

“What does it say? The apron, I mean?” he asked as you grabbed him a plain blue one. “Oh. No jokes on it?”

“Not everything is a joke, Buck. Not for me. Not for anyone,” you sniffed as you tried to hold back a stray tear before you got another pan of cupcakes and a bowl of frosting. You were still not fully pain free from what happened to those kids or to yourself. “Once the frosting sets, we can put these little shields on top of the cupcakes. I know. Cheesy. But the kids should love them.”

“Hmmm…” Bucky said as he tried to slather the frosting on his first cupcake without using too much. “I’m not exactly good at this…”

“You will be fine. It takes practice,” you whispered as you set down another frosted cupcake. “Thanks for helping. What else do you want to know about me?” Your hands shook slightly, and you flexed them a bit to get yourself centered again. “Lingering issues after that mess on the bus. I couldn’t go in sword swinging, so I had to take a different tack. It was a spell Wong told me about. Got the kids off the bus and me onto it just in time to take out that fool. It switches people’s locations. Nice one to keep in my back pocket. Just wish I had seen that other lunatic behind the driver’s seat.”

“Yeah, I saw the kids appear on the sidewalk before you blasted that guy out the doors of the bus,” Bucky noted as he kept frosting more cupcakes. “Kids. Did you ever have them? I mean, you like them. You get along great with Cass and AJ. And again, sorry if I got stupid on the docks. Joke fell really flat.”

You were not about to go back to the talk about that mess on the docks. Not today anyway. “Sadly, no. I’ve never had children.”

That wasn’t true. Not exactly anyway. But there was no way you could explain everything without looking like a lunatic. Saying “Well, a part of me that lives in another universe has about five of them last time I counted. I can list them all from all the timelines. I was tasked with birthing an army. No one ever said how…”

Yeah, that sounded so very sane and normal.

“Not that I don’t want them still,” you continued as you found some patriotic sprinkles in your cupboard. “It just never worked out for me. And I didn’t want to adopt a child on my own just to have me die and leave them alone. That would be cruel. And what agency would let someone like me adopt a child? It just isn’t very realistic to think it is even possible.”

You wanted nothing more than to change the topic, but you said Bucky could ask you questions, so in this quagmire you would stay for the moment.

“That day Steve and Sam had me in that vice,” Bucky started but stopped just as he finished another cupcake. “Why the hell did you do what you did to prove who you were? I knew who you were. Steve knew. You didn’t need to sing that song…”

“I needed to prove who I was because, let’s face it, who in their right mind—besides you and Steve, I guess—would believe my story? And Sam. Bless his heart, he doesn’t think I escaped Bellevue.” Bucky chuckled at the name of the most famous psychiatric hospital in New York City. “Was my singing that bad? I did flub some of the words, I know, but I didn’t think I was that bad.”

“Your singing was never an issue,” Bucky chuckled as a bit of frosting slid off one cupcake. “And the way you did that thing with the drinks was great. I remember that from the Whip and Fiddle. But you didn’t need to put on a show. Not for us anyway.”

“It’s always an issue, Bucky,” you said quietly as you noticed the vanilla frosting you had been using was running low, so you got out the ingredients to make more. “I always need to prove myself. I…did Steve ever tell you about what happened during the five years you were gone? Not my most shining hours.”

“The thing that scared everyone? Yeah, he told me, but I didn’t want to broadcast it to anyone. I don’t understand what makes you you,” Bucky said as he set down his knife and cupcake, “and I was not about to dredge up what happened. You were trying to get us back. Steve said you kind of lost it when it didn’t work. And Tony…”

“Tony wanted to lock me away in a padded cell, but Thor told him to stop, because he understood my grief. And Bruce told Tony to give it a rest because I was trying things that none of them could. Steve took me to the infirmary so I could heal when it all came crashing down. I was weaker than I realized. He saved my life. IV fluids can work wonders when you push yourself too much.”

“Wait, what? What did you do?” Bucky was suddenly very agitated, and you were not fully focused on his tone and body language at first. He was truly freaked out.

“What?” you asked as your eyes bugged out a little bit when it finally hit you. “Oh! No. I wasn’t doing…”

It took you much too long to realize Bucky was worried you had done some odd, old and draining blood spell. You had done them long, long ago, but that was back before electricity was the norm.

“It was a very old spell, one my Mamo used when I was a baby when she wanted to talk to the deceased members of our clan. Sorry. My grandmother. Mamo is the Irish word for grandma. It just takes a toll on your spirit, and I tried it a few times before Bruce saw me naked as a jay bird in the gardens they had at the facility. Yeah, that is part of the spell too, as is doing it on Samhain. Halloween. But there was no one there to talk to, so continuing to do it made it worse. As I said, not my finest hour. It broke me when I couldn’t find your spirit…”

Now it was Bucky’s turn to look at you with saucer-like eyes.

“Well, I couldn’t try to zero in on a million different people, so I picked you. I tried Sam, too, but it was like you guys never existed. If I were to do the spell this year, I’d be able to see any number of people across the veil. My family. Your family. Natasha and Tony. Loki. That night? I saw no one except my siblings, and while I love them, I knew they would be there. That failure sent me reeling. I didn’t talk for days. And we both know that could not be normal.”

“For two minutes, could you please stop with the put downs? Some of us don’t like to hear them. Me. Sam. Sarah. The boys…”

“I am so used to people just working around them that I don’t…” you started to say before you set down everything and just pulled up a stool next to the one Bucky was sitting on. “I don’t realize how it affects everyone else. Sorry.”

Bucky started to chuckle, and then he let out a loud laugh. “Your hair. Frosting,” he said as he pointed to a few wisps that were now very sticky from the vanilla frosting making a few spikes on the tips.

“Didn’t catch it all in the hairband. Again,” you muttered as you started to laugh along with Bucky. “Why did you really show up today, Buck? It can’t be because your inner baker was screaming to come out and play.”

“Last night was scary. You zoned out, and that scared me and Sam. We thought you were dying. We have no idea how this all works with you, and I’ve been afraid to ask. Steve was, too, I guess, and Sam, when you guys were in hiding.”

“Why are you remembering all this nonsense about me?” That was the only thing you could say as you looked Bucky in the eye and prayed something from your past was not trying to catch up with you again. “Or better yet worrying so much about me?”

“And why do you remember things about me?” he asked with an equally deadpan expression. “We are both old. We’re both likely going to outlive most of the people around us now, at least for a little while. Being connected is…nice. Now, back to last night. What happened?”

“After I helped those kids, I did exactly what you said. I zoned when I cracked my head on that building. I can go into a fugue state and start connecting in weird ways to the world around me. I knew you were there, but my brain wasn’t connecting all the dots. If that makes sense.”

That last part you hated. You wanted nothing more than to tell Bucky everything about your life. How the person he saw was only a tiny part of everything you were. That at this very moment there was another Kari dancing with another Bucky at something called the Hellfire Gala in a world where a group called The X-Men were protectors alongside The Avengers. She was thanking him for an assist a very long time ago on the steps of the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg, if killing her was truly an assist. Yes, that Kari was reborn thanks to the bladed excellence of The Winter Soldier, but this part of Kari could not tell Bucky all that. Not yet anyway.

“Do you want some coffee? A beer? I should have asked when you got here,” you said as you looked down to see Hickory had finally decided to get up and go eat his kibble while you chatted with Bucky.

“Beer, thanks. I just wanted to convince you to come down to Delacroix, mostly so everyone can see for themselves that you are OK. I know once Wong and Bruce get involved, it may take weeks until we see you again. And Parker. That trip of his for school.”

“Look, Sarge,” you started to say as you handed Bucky the beer. His eyes lit up, so the nickname seemed to be a good choice. “If it will make you feel better, then down to Delacroix I’ll go. But you and I can go together. I am going to need help hauling these cupcakes. But I may not stay the whole time. Does that work for you?”

“Yup,” Bucky said as he drank his beer. “And the Sarah thing…”

“Look, if you and Sarah hit it off, well, that is beautiful. You deserve happiness, Buck. I am not going to stand in the way of your happiness. Ever.”

{{Even if it would make me happier being with you}} you thought as you smiled at Bucky again.

“And yes, I know Sam is likely sticking his oar into the water and messing it up for you guys. Having eight brothers taught me a lot, and I am betting you might have played the part yourself back in the day, right? Maybe I can help there, if you need me to? Your call.”

“Whatever happens, well, happens,” Bucky noted as he looked at the tray of tiny shields again. “I think we all want the day to be about Sam. That’s what really matters.”

“Agreed,” you said as you looked at all the cupcakes and smiled. “Now, want to learn how to make that cake? Care to smash up some cookies for me to mix in the batter?”

The rest of the baking session with Bucky went well enough, and you were able to box everything and have it ready to portal to Delacroix the next morning when he made it back to your place. You made sure your portal was near the house but around the back so no one could get spooked by it. You just wished the rest of the team could have been there, but there was technically no team at the moment anyway.

You smiled as you watched Bucky run over to the table where Sam, Sarah and the boys were sitting, with Cass and AJ trying to get Bucky into some sort of play fight as he brought over the cake.

“So, this is the famous cake?” Sarah asked as you pulled a small red wagon full of cupcakes behind you. “Sam has talked about this cake for weeks. Thanks for making it.”

“Hey, anything for our new Cap and his family!” you replied as a group of kids came over to check out the wagon’s load of goodies. “There are plenty of these to go around, but I think you guys better eat your lunches first.”

“Are you going to show us any magic?” Cass asked as you sat down at the table with everyone.

“Guys, what did we talk about?” Sam said as you looked at everyone there and realized this was not going to be a simple picnic event for Sam.

“We can talk about that later. Maybe when everyone else heads home,” you said quietly as you looked at the boys and then Sarah. “And only if your Mom is OK with it. Her house. Her rules. Always.”

You really had not been planning on any sort of show today, but letting Sarah have the final call was likely the easiest way to keep this sort of thing away from prying eyes. Not everyone liked magic, and that was no exception for this part of Louisiana. The preternatural might have been more accepted here, but it was still not a thing everyone loved or fully understood.

The conversation, thankfully, turned to much more mundane things, and you were very happy it did when you saw Bucky and Sarah chatting as the boys and their friends tried to hang off Bucky’s arm. It looked right. He looked stress-free and happy for the first time in ages.

“And is that what you were hoping for?” Sam asked as he, too, watched his nephews hanging off Bucky’s arm. “That cyborg and my sister would hit it off? I thought you two were, you know, getting closer? Beer?”

You looked at the bottle in Sam’s hand. Crimson Voodoo. A local favorite indeed.

“Thanks,” you said as you took the bottle from his hand and tried to convince yourself and Sam that this is what you wanted. “Sam, Bucky deserves a family. He deserves peace and happiness. Your sister deserves someone who thinks the world of her and can take care of her and the boys. It’s a win-win. My life is too messed up for anyone to feel at peace with me. Someday I’ll try to explain everything, but today is not that day. Today is your day.”

As it started to get dark outside, no one seemed to be heading home, and the kids were a bit upset that there were no fireworks set up to cap off the night.

“Guess I need to take care of this,” you said under your breath as you got to your feet and walked toward Sarah and the boys. “Sarah, I can fix this, but as I said before, your house, your rules.”

“You have fireworks in your bag?” Sarah chuckled as she shook her head. “Wait. You aren’t kidding.”

“Nope, I’m not,” you replied as you walked to the end of the pier where the kids were all looking pretty forlorn. “Sam, a gift for you and your family and friends here today,” you said as you turned to look at everyone there. Sparks started to dance on your fingertips, and soon the night sky filled with magically-created fireworks. “A gift from the Tara Mount and from Asgard,” you added as more pyrotechnics danced above the crowd. “Frigga and Loki showed me this trick long ago. It’s only fitting to share it tonight.”

“What the hell is that on your back?” Sarah asked as you slowly lifted off the ground.

“I forgot you’ve never seen these,” you said to Sarah as your raven wings unfurled. “I need to get a bit of lift before I do the next part.”

Sure, Sam and Bucky had seen you fly. But the dance you were about to do was not anything you had done since, well, the day your cousin Rhys got married to his beautiful bride Alice back in the 1850s! Oh, that was a bit of craic! Well, it would have been more fun if Rhys’ sister Rhiannon had not fed that dragon wedding cake and Champagne on top of Westminster.

“I usually don’t do this for anyone but family, but if you all are Captain America’s extended family, then that is good enough for me,” you said as your wings slowly transformed to something akin to gossamer and glitter, the light of the fireworks dancing off the delicate lacework of the fairy wings you now sported on your back. “My grandmother, Siofra O’Cathain MacOrish, was called the Black Faerie of the battlefield. Tonight I wear these wings to thank her for making it possible to be here with you today.”

As you hovered in mid-air, you started to dart over the water, well clear of the shore and the boats anchored there. The sky lit up with a multicolored display that at times looked like ribbons of red, white and blue and at others like the giant bursts of color in the event that Macy’s held each July 4th on the East or Hudson Rivers in New York City. The shrieks of delight from the children made it all worthwhile as you finally landed back on the dock after about 15 minutes of flash and sizzle.

Maybe it was the music that helped make it special? No one could tell exactly where it was coming from because it was all around them. A bit of remembered sound from your cousin’s wedding night and a snatch of air current, and suddenly the air was full of a song played long ago on a starry night for your tribe back then, the lovely lot you called The Avalonians.

The flight was glorious, and you wondered why you did not do it more often over the years.

The way you did not stick the landing, on the other hand, was annoying. Especially when Sam, Sarah and Bucky ran over. The lift of raven-like angel’s wings was one thing in battle, but the faerie wings on your back now were another thing entirely. The fact you had not called them out in over 100 years meant you had forgotten much about maneuvering in them once you got back to Terra Firma.

“I am fine!” you protested as you finally pulled back your wings and flexed your arms a bit. “Just didn’t time the footfall properly. I am not Simone Biles by any means. She would have aced it.”

“No more jokes. You could have gotten hurt,” Bucky said as he reached out his hand to you, but you pulled back slightly as he did. Muscle memory was a bitch at times, and a tiny part of you could not help but remember Katowice, St. Petersburg, Budapest and several other places where you and Bucky did more bodily harm to each other than you had let on to anyone else. Even Steve never knew the full extent of the battles you and his best friend were part of over the years. It was probably better that way.

“It’s nothing that a good night’s sleep won’t fix. I’m still not right after that mess with the bus,” you answered as Sarah shot you the mother of all looks. “Even old warriors like me need time to heal.”

“You could have said something,” Sarah said as she just kept looking at you, concern and pain mixed in equal measure in her eyes. “You did not have to bring all that food, and you did not need to do all that fireworks stuff. These two said you’d pull some crazy stunt eventually...”

“And they were right,” you replied, tucking your hands behind your back so the slight tremor you felt was not visible to everyone else. “Because, well, this is how I was raised. Never say no when your help is needed. Always take care of family, even if you are dead on your feet. Leave a place better than you found it if at all possible…”

“Kari, did your fireworks have a finale you didn’t mention?” Bucky asked as he pointed behind you, a multicolored fissure opening above the bayou waters.

“That isn’t me!” you shouted as the raven wings of your office appeared, along with your armor, sword and shield. “Get everyone to safety! Now!”

“Wait. Is that a Quinjet?” Sam shouted as he worked to get everyone off the dock as quickly as possible as a plane maneuvered through the fissure.

“No, that’s the Zephyr…” you said as you stood with our mouth open. “SHIELD ship that vanished a few years ago. Fury was never able to track it down.”

The jet landed on the shore away from several houses, and you, Bucky and Sam made your way to the landing site. By now, thanks to some quick thinking by Cass and AJ, Sam had his shield at the ready, but you prayed he would not have to use it.

“SHIELD ship Zephyr One. Damn,” you muttered under your breath as you got to the now lowered ramp. “I thought you were dead! And so does Fury!” you said as two men made their way to the top of the ramp.

Standing in front of you were Phil Coulson and Daniel Sousa.

“Nice to see you again, Chief,” Coulson said as Sousa gave him an odd look. “One of my trainers back in the day.”

“And Peggy Carter’s best friend in mine,” Sousa added the duo was soon joined by Melinda May.

“She never told you? Either of you? She was the original 0-8-4,” May noted as she walked down the ramp.

“No, I helped Howard Stark coin the term,” you growled as you looked at May. “The world knows full well where I am from and how long I have walked this ground. I’m just a hell of a lot older than I look.”

“Oh my God, we are home,” Daisy Johnson said as she walked up next to Sousa, his arm snaking around her waist, leaving no question about their status as a couple. You had heard about the Inhuman’s encounters with some preternatural allies, and you wanted to hear more about that, as well as how Sousa was actually there with them now.

“Home?” Bucky whispered in your ear as Sam leaned in to hear his comments.

“If you weren’t home, where were you?” you asked Coulson as the rest of his team filtered off the ship. You vaguely knew them by physical attributes, but not all the names were clicking in your mind at the moment.

“I was hoping you might be able to tell us,” he said as you looked at him, and you could tell already this was not the Phil Coulson you knew. Not totally anyway. “From our calculations, we’ve been gone about five years.”

“The blip,” Sam said as you shook your head. “Oh, tá sé seo ach iontach. I mean, this is just great,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You lot like cupcakes, right? Please say you like cupcakes. And beer.”

You grabbed Bucky’s hand without thinking and prayed he could actually hear the words you were thinking in that crazy link of Wanda’s. {{I wanted this to be a happy day for Sam. Not one where his family would be in the middle of this nonsense. I’ll get them all out of here fast. Just…could you please help me figure this out?}}

A brief nod let you know Bucky heard at least some of your request.

“Sarah, I’ll get these folks out of here and back to New York ASAP. I just hope I can find Maria Hill or Nick Fury. How do I explain that their world is about to get turned upside down again?”

My wonderful tag crew--thank you!: @historygeekfics, @arrthurpendragon, @starryeyes2000, @chickensarentcheap

And up to lucky Part 14—What in the world do you do with Agents of SHIELD if there is no more SHIELD? And how will the surviving OG Avengers feel when they learn Phil Coulson is not quite as dead as Nick Fury lead them to believe?

#oc appreciation #fyeahsuperverseocs #mcu oc kari macorish #mcu multiverse oc #bucky barnes x female oc #sam wilson #sarah wilson #aj wilson #cass wilson #phil coulson #melinda may #daniel desousa #daisy johnson #quake #the cavalry #agents of shield #sam wilson is captain america #the winter soldier #oc creators unite!

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