Simmons: Just a little grammar tip.
Simmons: ‘Farther’ is for physical distance.
Simmons: ‘Further’ is for metaphorical distance.
Fitz: *tearing up*: And ‘father’ is for emotional distance.
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i am ready to THROW HANDS with whoever is fucking up ao3 rn
ao3 volunteers ily thank u for ur service
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nothing will ever be funnier than that bit in agents of shield where coulson says "get ready for a large file transfer" and then shoves an entire filing cabinet out of a 4th story window
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[ maria coming back from a mission ]
nat: are you okay? are you hurt?
maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep
nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*
maria: blood loss
nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED
maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss
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