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torchickentacos · 2 years

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you're a swiftie, right? pokeani characters as taylor swift lyrics? or ships?

Ok, I went with ships (though I could write an essay on why Drew's song would be The Archer and why Misty’s would be Who I’ve Always Been), and I tried to include all the ones I could think of, whether they're my thing or not! Little bit for everyone, you know?If anyone wants my reasoning and analysis of WHY I chose songs or lyrics PLEASE ENABLE ME. I am but a deer tick in the long grass waiting for an unsuspecting victim to brush past and enable autism mode for me. This is no order at all, just random tbh. I chose the most relevant lyrics. Sometimes that’s three lines. Sometimes it’s half the song. The more or less lyrics does not equate to my opinion on the ship, some just felt more fitting than others. I know I’m missing stuff, lmk if you want me to do one that isn’t here. Anyways, let's get into it! This is hella long by the way.

Appealshipping (Dawn x Zoey)- Seven (sapphic bop idgaf argue with the wall)

“Sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart, won’t tell no other”

“Your braids like a pattern, love you to the moon and to saturn

Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long”

Gary x Tracey (Oakshipping? Is that it?)- Welcome Distraction (unreleased, on youtube)

Love’s a little messy and you are too, right now I’m scared of the both of you

-skipped lyrics-

You’re the last thing I needed today

And I don’t know where I lost control and couldn’t take it any longer,

It must have been somewhere between your smile and the way you say my name

And I can’t win, so I give in, the more I fight it just gets stronger

You’re an inconvenient kind of satisfaction, a welcome distraction

Gone and spilled my coffee trying to get to the phone, cause it might be you, you just never know

Can’t talk to my friends without you coming up, it’s even kinda cute the way you cuss

I wrote your name down a hundred thousand times, ‘cause it looks so good right next to mine

You’re the last thing I needed tonight

Palletshipping (Ash x Gary)- A few very good options but I settled on Paper Rings (almost chose King of my Heart though) (also almost chose Tim McGraw because of the lake imagery and lakes seem to be their thing, from what I’ve gathered from my mutuals)

The moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met

I went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

Now I’ve read all of the books beside your bed

The wine is cold, like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and Mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Kiss me once because you know I’ve had a long night

Kiss me twice because it’s gonna be alright

Three times, cause I’ve waited my whole life

I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings

Darlin’, you’re the one I want

And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

You’re the one I want in paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams, you’re the one I want

Satogou (Ash x Goh)- It’s Nice to Have a Friend

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

‘Wanna hang out?’ ‘Yeah, sounds like fun’

Video games, you pass me a note, sleeping in tents, it’s nice to have a friend

Light pink sky, up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

Twenty questions, we tell the truth

You been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand, it’s nice to have a friend

Church bells ring, carry me home

Rice on the ground looks like snow

Call my bluff, call you babe

Have my back? Yeah, everyday

Feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend-it’s nice to have a friend

Shigegou (Gary x Goh)- Cowboy Like Me

“You asked me to dance, but I said ‘dancing is a dangerous game’

Oh, I thought, this is gonna be one of those things

Now I know I’m never gonna love again

I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve

Takes one to know one- you’re a cowboy like me

-skipped lines-

Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon

With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

Shigesatogou (Ash x Gary x Goh)- Jump Then Fall

I like the way you sound in the morning, we’re on the phone and without a warning I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard

I like the way I can’t keep my focus, I watch you talk, you didn’t notice

I hear the words, but all I can think is ‘we should be together’

Every time you smile, I smile and everytime you shine, I’ll shine for you

Woah, i’m feeling you, baby

Don’t be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me

Baby, I’m never gonna leave you Say that you wanna be with me, too

‘Cause I’mma stay through it all, so jump then fall

A rarepair/crackship for you all (I think two of you like it and follow me? I can vibe with it ngl)- Farawayshipping (May x Paul)- Ours

Elevator buttons and morning air

Stranger’s silence makes me want to take the stairs

If you were here, we’d laugh about their vacant stares

But right now, my time is theirs

Seems like there’s always someone who dissaproves

They’ll judge us like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury’s out, but my choice is you

So don’t you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard

The stakes are high The water’s rough

But this love is ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves

Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me?

-skipped lines-

And it’s not theirs to speculate if it’s wrong, and

Your hands are tough, but they are where mine belong

-skipped lines-

I love the gap between your teeth, and I love the riddles that you speak

And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored (you know Norman would HATE Paul)

Because my heart is yours

Pumpkinspiceshipping (Caroline x Delia)- Cornelia Street (specifically the Paris live acoustic though. Trust me.) (considered her cover of September by Earth, Wind, and Fire but that’s technically not a Taylor Swift song. Also people seem to hate that cover which makes me sad.)

We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks at the bar

‘I rent a place on Cornelia Street’, I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the streetlights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I’m so terrified of if you ever walk away

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

Windows flung right open, Autumn air, jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours

We bless the rains on Cornelia Street, memorize the creaks in the floors

-skipped lines-

You hold my hand on the street, walk me back to that apartment-years ago, we were just inside

Barefoot in the kitchen, sacred new beginnings that became my religion

Pokeshipping (Ash x Misty)- Invisible String

“Time, curious time, gives me the blues and then purple-pink skies

Were there clues I didn’t see?

And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

Egoshipping (Misty x Gary)- Gorgeous

“You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk

You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong

-skipped lines-

You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much

-skipped lines-

And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can I say? You’re gorgeous

You should take it as a compliment that I’m talking to everyone here but you

You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in the darkened room

If you got a girlfriend, I’m jealous of her

But if you’re single, that’s honestly worse”

Ikarishipping (Paul x Dawn) (angsty. Sorry Ikarishippers who like fluff, but I don’t think there’s a ton of you here tbh so like we’re good) (I’m hella picky about Ikarishipping in general but this song fits imo. For a ship I don’t care for I have hella opinions on it apparently)

Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?

Let all your damage damage me? Carry your baggage up my street?

Make me your future history? It’s time

We’ve come a long way, open the blinds, let me see your face

You wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody

Is it insensitive for me to say, ‘get your shit together so I can love you’?

Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything, or do you just not want to?

I tapped on your window on your darkest night, the shape of you was jagged and weak

There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway

You fire off missiles ‘cause you hate yourself, but do you know you’re demolishing me?

But then you squeeze my hand as I’m about to leave

And if I would have known how sharp the pieces were you’d crumbled into, I might have let them lay

Contestshipping- was stuck between like 15 songs because y’all know how I am about these two but I eventually landed on Treacherous. Almost chose Mine or Sparks Fly though. Still waiting for ethically sourced Speak Now.

Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t touch

Out of focus, eye to eye- until the gravity’s too much

And I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands- and I’d be smart to walk away, but you’re quicksand

This slope is treacherous

This path is reckless

This slope is treacherous-and I like it

I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away

I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay

And all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

Forever going with the flow, but you’re friction

-chorus-

Two headlights shine through the sleepless nights and I will get you alone-your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive

This hope is treacherous

This daydream is dangerous

This hope is treacherous

I like it

Ok ash/pokegirl ships are all down here since honestly except for my one pokeshipper friend I think most of you guys don’t care for these tbh highkey same but I can still appreciate and assign them a vibe. I don’t like cool ranch doritos but I’ll still eat them, you know?

Advanceshipping- I’d Lie (unreleased, which is a crime, it’s on youtube and better be on debut taylor’s version)

I don’t think that passenger seat has ever looked this good to me

He tells me about his night, and I count the colors in his eyes

He’ll never fall in love, he swears as he runs his fingers through his hair

I’m laughin’ cause I hope he’s wrong

And I don’t think it ever crossed his mind, he tells a joke, I fake a smile

-skipped-

He stands there then walks away, my god, if I could only say ‘I’m holding every breath for you’

Pearlshipping- Tim McGraw. Idk I don’t really get pearlshipping that much but I think the vibes are there with this song?????

He said the way my blue eyes shined put those georgia stars to shame that night

I said, ‘that’s a lie’

Just a boy in a chevy truck that had a tendency of getting stuck on backroads at night

And I was right there beside him, all summer long

Negaishipping- ‘Til Brad Pitt Comes Along (unreleased but I think it sums them up perfectly, even platonically)

Do you remember the day I leaned up against your car? And it started rolling down the street

You screamed and ran after it and tried to open the door and it ran over your foot and I was too busy laughing on the ground to see it

-skipped-

Do you remember the time we watched Carrie and you said it reminded you of me?

And I threw the remote at you and you said, ‘my point exactly’

-skipped-

You call me lucky ‘cause I lose everything, but I swear I’d be careful with it if you gave me a ring

Amourshipping, which. no comment-Your Anything

I could be your favorite blue jeans with the holes in the knees in the middle of the top drawer

I could be a little beauty queen, just a little out of reach, or the girl living next door

I’ll be your angel giving up her wings, if that’s what you need, I’ll give anything to be your anything

#ignoring the fact that 'you're a swiftie' is fighting words #/j #now tell me why I had fun analyzing ikarishipping for this #like I think it's a ship usually done poorly but there's some good fucking angst potential there #yall have no idea how many songs I had to whittle through to decide on contestshipping #SO MANY #I almost went with dancing wiht our hands tied #but figured that my interperetation of it for contest was too in-my-own-head #That song is actually what inspired morning after melancholy for me #I wrote that fic in like. three sittings over the span of ten hours with that song and so it oges on repeat #reputation is SO GOOD for when I want to lean into a more secretive relationship sort of thing #rep is one of my favorite albums of all time ngl #do I really want to tag all of these?#sigh i guess so #taylor's tag #appealshipping #oakshipping #hoping that's the right name for that and not a petalburgshipping situation because ick #palletshipping #shigegou #shigesatogou #farawayshipping #pumpkinspiceshipping #pokeshipping #egoshipping #ikarishipping #contestshipping #advanceshipping #pearlshipping #satogou

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escargon · 2 years

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Autism is winning today folks

#chatter #my art #wile e coyote #wile e coyote vs the world #also check out the wiki page for coyote v acme because its funny and nobody is moderating it rn

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autimind · 1 year

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Autistics, flip the conversation!

Almost all of the time, people talk about us and over us. Especially since the thrice-cursed American juggernaut AutismSpeaks has hijacked the conversation basically right at the point that reliable information about autism became available. Before that, of course, the pathological model existed and it is still strong in our societies.

The pathological model sees autism as a disorder, describes autism as nothing more than a list of debilitating deficits and is nothing more than the most flimsy superficial look at autism as it looks only and exclusively at behahiour. Such is well-known to all #ActuallyAutistics.

The pathological model is genuinely toxic. As an example: if an autistic says something and a neurotypical person misunderstands then the autistic has a deficit in communication, can't express their meaning well. If the NT person says something and the autistic doesn't understand then they are mind-blind or have a deficit in non-verbal communication or something or other. This toxic lense through which society looks at us always puts the burden of building understanding on us, at the same time writing us off as less-than.

Not all of us are able or even willing to jump on the barricade again and again and fight to be heard. I know I am certainly no activist. I have a hard time enough holding down a marriage and a job as well as some semblance of a social life. Still, there is a lot we can do, a number of low-key activities that we can undertake to help allistic outsiders understand and perhaps become allies.

Almost everything people think they know about autism, they have heard from non-autistic people.

That's not an error. I just wanted you to read that twice. Imagine if only people with a physical disability were just ignored and talked over. (Well, to be sure, that does happen..)

Imagine if women could not talk about their lived experience because either they behaved in a masculine way (high-functioning) and so couldn't possibly understand about real women or they behaved in a feminine way (low-functioning) and so had no understanding or opinions anyway. That would be completely unacceptable to basically anyone in today's society.

Imagine if a character in a movie said to another "That's mighty white of you." Cringe, right? Sure, you should cringe.

Still, I'm told I'm a high-functioning person-with-autism. It is not a compliment, people!

Flipping the conversation

Allistic folk are often enough enamoured of 'thinking outside the box' and flip-thinking. They mean creatively rephrasing some well-known concept in order to see it in a different light. Well, let's do that. Let's flip-think about autism.

troublesome behaviour Troublesome to whom? Inconvenient for whom? Why can't these flexible neurotypical people just accept that some express themselves differently?

rigid thinking I already wrote about this. Isn't it rigid to demand other express themselves exactly like you do down to the minutest detail or you'll feel free to just dismiss them as weird, a freak, stupid? Because that is what allistic people do constantly, without even thinking about it.

It is not rigid thinking to hold on to your ideals, like justice or fairness. Far too often, not willing to compromise on these or not willing to lie even is called inflexible or rigid. I have been told again and again that I need to be more business-oriented because I follow the legalities like I'm supposed to. That is unethical, not flexible.

stereotypical interests and hyperfocus What is stereotypical anyway? What does that mean? I know people who can name every single soccer team in multiple competitions along with their most recent game outcomes and a fairly well developed statistical overview of what needs to happen for any one of a number of competitors to win the whole series. This is somehow normal. I can spend over twenty minutes talking about just Fermat's last theorem and its background, not even going into the mathematics. If I am lucky, this is called 'quirky'.

Sure enough if you tell me about your job at a party, I will ask questions and then more questions and will show you that I have understood your answers. Sure enough I can remain focus on my work or on a hobby for hours, forgetting to eat.

From my view, non-autistics are seldom really interested in anything, flutter around touching this or that subject, never really engaging with anything and basically just talk to be talking.

taking language literally This is a bit of a canard as almost none of us really do this, especially not in adulthood. Still, if you are focused on the words that someone speaks, it can be challenging to find out what they actually meant.

Still, why do they make everyone jump through hoops trying to divine one another's meaning? It is not as if allistic people can do this faultlessly; they just expect themselves to be right. This creates any amount of conflicts and confusion among basically everyone.

Why not say what you mean and mean what you say? If I ask a factual question, I want to know the answer. I will probably decide something based on the answer. I am not blaming or accusing anyone. If I mean to then I will say that and use the words blame or accuse. Why this constant searching for subtext and ephemeral meaning 'between the lines'?

Allistic people can say things like 'oh, you don't have to bring me anything' with a straight face and/or a friendly smile and then act offended when you don't bring them anything. You can explain to me that I have a deficit in non-verbal communication until you're blue in the face but I call that lying. Lying is bad.

I also usually still know what you said more than half a year ago on some point of policy and yes, I will confront you with your earlier decision if you suddenly act as if you meant the opposite all along. You are entirely free to call this rude. Be my guest.

inflexible when it comes to change, sticks to routines Well, sure. If I got a euro for every time I hear one of my allistic colleagues say that they need coffee right away before they are able to function I would be a rich man indeed. We all have our routines. Allistic routines are invisible to society because they are deemed normal.

What usually happens is that someone has had a whole thought process in their own mind that resulted in a change of plans and then just dumps the conclusion on me. I am then expected to right away see how obviously better that new choice is in that very moment and happily go along with it. They simply don't see that I didn't share their whole mental process. And we are called mind blind!

Austistics need a reason. We generally don't do authority or team-playing. Then again, if you stop me and explain in a few words why there needs to be a change of plans and give me a couple of seconds to process, I'll support you most of the time. Allistic people refusing to give us those few seconds are the inflexible ones, the low-empathy types in this case.

And so on and so forth. This is not a commercial for the aspie supremacy. Autistic people can certainly be inflexible or rigid and we can obsess over things to the exclusion of all else. All that is true. However, there are always (at least) two parties to communication and it doesn't do to always blame autistics for everything.

So speak up for yourself. Flip the conversation when some ill-informed acquaintance starts talking at you about autism.

They should speak with you.

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saccharinekat · 2 years

Text

The autism is really winning today folks

#Meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow

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carolinejroth · 2 years

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An Autistic Writer; Communication

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Preface

I’m autistic and dyslexic. I’m also a writer and I’ve researched the self publishing market for the last 10 years.

I have a very strange relationship with writing and communication.

Today I want to tell that story.

(Apologies in advance for the wall of text, and I jump around different topics. I promise I’m getting to a point.)

Neurotypical Rant

I swear on average, the majority of neurotypical/abled people rely almost entirely on verbal communication alone to decipher intention, and they overreact in a negative way when someone cannot fully articulate verbally what kind of interaction they want.

They expect us to conform to their demands without trying to compromise. I’ve had people suggest speech therapy to me, and I’ve had doctors, employers, nurses, neighbors, coworkers and therapists point out how I never look them in the eyes or how I never “emote properly.”

Did it impede what I was trying to say to them?

No.

Did they misunderstand me because I wasn’t putting on a full show and pretending to over-do emotions on my face?

Yes.

Did they fill in the blanks they thought were there, and misconstrued my intentions even though I was being honest?

Yes. Every damn time.

It gets to the point where I severely limit communicating to neurotypicals at all costs. They are emotionally driven, not logic driven, and rely on “entertaining” verbal communication (eye contact and expressive emotion) almost entirely.

It’s frustrating.

Non Verbal, Neurodivergent

I’ve had the honor and the pleasure of being the caretaker for a variety of folks who had different styles of communicating that did not rely fully on verbal communication.

The creative and beautiful ways in which we as people, as human beings can communicate intent and facilitate interaction, without needing to say a single (arbitrary and made up) word to describe what we’re feeling is absolutely magical.

Sitting together not having to say a single thing, but enjoying each other’s company while we take a moment of rest in an otherwise bleak and tiresome day are moments I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.

Maybe it’s my autism, I don’t know. But whenever some neurotypical came crying to me asking me to “deal” with someone who was more or less non verbal, it was almost always because no one was trying to listen or understand patiently.

I’ve had some disabled family members (who were losing their comprehension on speech as they got older,) sometimes called me the “nice lady,” because I was the only one who could figure out what they were saying and I treated them like a full grown human being that deserved respect, not a spoiled child throwing a tantrum.

I don’t understand the entitlement of most neurotypical people. I genuinely don’t.

The Writing Community and “BookTube”

My comprehension on numbers was delayed and my writing was delayed when I was younger.

But when I was 8 or 10, I started writing.

I made up stories and wrote almost every day for most of my teenage years. Writing and stories became a special interest of mine, but at the time I didn’t know that’s what it was.

In adulthood, I have a very strange relationship with writing and language. Since I was determined as hell to become a writer in my early 20s, I scoured the internet for genre-writing resources on my own.

The late wave of 2010-2014 generation of self-publishing was a toxic place. The “bookish” community surrounding that was even worse. Both were generally dominated by neurotypical and abled people. Goodreads was toxic, self proclaimed “booktube” was toxic (and also weirdly racist... but that’s off topic,) and It stayed that way through out 2017 and onwards.

Writing sprints (where two people agree to time their writing and the most words “wins”), obsession with word count, constant posts about edits, competitive rivalry on who could finish their drafts the fastest (an attitude spurred from Nanowrimo,) and people in writing groups tearing each other’s posts apart.

It took me a while to understand the environment was toxic. Eventually, I left in 2018 and I haven’t looked back.

Me, Right Now, and Writing

But how that toxic environment changed my relationship with writing stayed with me.

I worry a lot about making posts that are too long, that have too many words. I worry a lot about rambling too much or not staying on topic enough. I worry a lot about info-dumping too much or getting too personal. Ever since 2018, I censor myself and how I conduct myself online constantly. I refrain from posting or replying over 20 times per day.

I love writing.

I love reading other people’s writing.

Stories, books, posts, comments, wattpad stories, fanfics, both “good” and “bad,” no matter how “well written” or “all over the place” it is. I can ignore spelling and grammar errors, especially with stories and fics that are just supposed to be fun.

But I’m afraid of communicating with others.

For fear of being scrutinized, misunderstood, for talking too much, for not staying on topic, for getting too detailed.

For barging in on a space where I don’t belong, for saying something that’s inappropriate (due to failure of “reading the room,”) or out of fear of making people uncomfortable.

I’ve compartmentalized, scrubbed down and minimized all of my autistic traits as much as I could. Not out of embarrassment. But to accommodate neurotypical people so I wouldn’t confuse or alienate them.

This results in me spending almost 2 hours on a single tweet, a single tumblr post, (including this one,)

checking,

rewriting,

editing,

formatting,

changing tone and fixing grammar and spelling mistakes,

researching

double checking again,

and then all of this usually ultimately results in me giving up and saving all my unfinished thoughts, posts and tweets to drafts where they will sit forever.

Because it’s easier to be quiet in the back of the room being a lurker that people don’t notice, then to be the weird old woman ranting about off topic things and making everyone uncomfortable. :/

What to do about it?

I don’t know.

Normally at this point of writing a post like this I would give up and leave this in drafts until I figured out something 100% coherent and beautifully and expertly written with the best conclusion I could think of.

That would mean leaving this thought unfinished for a week until I figured out something actionable and “good enough.”

But I don’t know. I genuinely don’t know.

Off the top of my head, the only thing I can suggest really is just practicing the following skills:

Compassion,

Honesty,

Patience,

Empathy,

These would help a lot when trying to communicate with people.

#rant #long post #personal post #personal #actually autistic #autistic writer #autistic adult #autistic woman #writing community #booktube

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spectrumed · 3 years

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10. contact

The key to success is networking. Oh, God, how am I ever going to succeed? Networking? Talking to other people? Making friends? That’s not me, that’s not me at all. I don’t want to make superficial connections with other people just so that I can one day use my connections to get ahead in life. I don’t want to force myself on others, trying to convince them that I am some decent guy that’s totally worth getting to know and be friends with. I don’t know if you’re going to like me or not. I imagine some people would like to be my friend, and I imagine some people would hate to be my friend. I’d rather just forget about the latter group, and not torture myself trying to make friends with people who are fundamentally at odds who I am as a person. I’d rather have a small circle of close friends than a thousand acquaintances. But the key to success is networking.

I’ll never be an insider. This is not me just doubting myself, not some decision to undermine myself. I know that making statements about things that are impossible for you to achieve comes across as very self-defeating, but I know that I will never be an insider. I will never fit into a social clique. I am not going to be part of the boys’ club, yucking it up with my mates. I’m not going to be in any gangs, no bands, most certainly no crews. I am a solo-player. I prefer to work on my own. All my life, I’ve kept to myself, one way or another. I don’t ask for help. Growing up, my sister used to get a lot of help from my mother with school assignments, because she wanted it and she asked for it. My sister and my mother would spend a lot of time together making sure that my sister’s schoolwork turned out well. Looking over spelling, fixing grammatical errors, making sure that the text was easy to read and had a flow to it. Normal parental stuff, really. Kids are supposed to get help from their parents, it’s part of the learning process, no-one gets by all on their own. Well, except for me. I never asked for help.

I actually found it really unbearable to have my mother look over my schoolwork to see if I made any errors. Not because I am such a horrid narcissist that I refuse to admit that there were any errors, but rather because… well, it felt invasive. Like as if you spot someone spying on you through your window. It made me feel very self-conscious, in a way that I realise now is similar to how I feel when I make eye contact. Yes, I am bad at making eye contact, especially when I am speaking at the same time. I don’t mind making eye contact when you are speaking, but I don’t want to make eye contact with you when I am speaking. Is that funny? Is that odd? Well, the way I feel about it is that eye contact is intimate, it’s almost like touching. It’s mental touching. If you share eye contact with somebody you are sharing a connection. You are mind-touching each other. Oh, well… I guess that maybe it’s not quite like that, but I still don’t find it easy.

At times, I find much of the discussions about neurodiversity online somewhat off-putting. Especially when it comes to those people who are really keen on being all out positive, all the time. Those people who see any shade of negativity as outright hazardous. Don’t bring up the fact that being neurodivergent can be difficult, don’t mention the difficulties that come with being on the autism spectrum. Engage with self-empowerment! Celebrate what makes you different! Go out there and be proud of yourself, be happy about your autism, it is cool to be autistic! And, sure, I understand the importance of injecting optimism into the neurodivergent community. We need optimism, we need to profess our desire to be happy, to show the world that you don’t need to be neurotypical to be content with your life. No-one wants to be around a sourpuss just wallowing in their discontentment. But, sometimes things just suck, okay? Having a positive attitude may project confidence, may make others think you’ve got it together, but be wary when that positive attitude just becomes a mask you hide behind.

Look, we live in a society. Whether you like it or not, you live in a society. We need to rage against this society, because this society is no good. Things may look good to some people, but those people are wrong, and I am right. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! Let’s have ourselves a little revolution and see if we can piece a new society together, one that doesn’t commit to the same mistakes as the last one. Oh, wait, how do we do that? And how do we make sure that we win the revolution, we could easily lose, and that might actually just make things worse for us. What if this society we live in got even worse? Yikes, that’s a thought too scary to even really consider. Can things get worse? I don’t want things to get worse. Maybe I just shouldn’t rock the boat. Let’s calm down, and let’s not make any rash decisions here. We can overthrow society at some other point. For now, let’s just have some tea.

Yes, society stinks, but what can you do about it? It is absolutely the case that neurotypical people have it easier navigating modern society than neurodivergent people. Others expect you to function just like they function. If you wish to fit in, you are required to act more neurotypical. People expect that from you. Learn to adapt, to hide amongst them. Trick them. Make them think you are one of them. Be the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They’ll never know the truth of who you are. An outsider that managed to get on the inside. You stand by the watercooler, and by gosh, you make yourself laugh at their jokes even though you’d rather not be there at all. You partake in the small talk, talking about the weather, feigning interest in the footballs, and pretending to be an all-around wholesome compatriot. You’re not at all secretly some kind of anti-social misfit, who’d rather stay at home sitting behind a monitor and playing strategy games on your own. Do you want to come and join your workmates for a drink or two later? Oh, yes, of course you’d like that, but you might need to limit your alcohol intake so that you don’t get too drunk and begin to let the mask slip. It’s too easy getting into hyper-specific rants about obscure topics no normal person would care about when you’re inebriated, so let’s not risk that.

“Be yourself.” Pfth, bah, humbug. Neurotypicals love to state empty platitudes. You don’t want me to be myself. You’ve made it very clear that you don’t want me to be myself. Call me a cynic all you want, but you can’t get nowhere in life simply by being yourself. For better or worse, authenticity is nowhere near as desired as some people make it out to be. Name a single really successful person who is truly themselves. Fake-authenticity does better than the real deal. True sincerity, of the kind that’s naked, shameless, ugly, and challenging, it is difficult to love. And that’s not all bad, it’s just a fact of life. We all need to cover some things about ourselves up, and need to keep some secrets, because that is what is expected from us. Just as we wear clothes to cover up our naked bodies. No shame on the nudists, they’re free to embrace whatever alternative lifestyle they want, but I don’t want to see your naked body. Don’t get nude in front of me. I already struggle with eye contact, I sure wouldn’t struggle less if you stood in front of me nude as well.

Actually, to a certain extent, these social rules we all conform to can actually be quite appreciated by those of us who are on the spectrum. It is easier to know what you must do in a formal social situation than in a casual social situation. Casual people, they’re just so… unpredictable. Sticking their casual bits everywhere, acting like guests at your house who don’t seem to understand that your home is not their home. Even as a kid I hated having friends of mine over at my place. They’d play with my toys, place my toys where they don’t belong, or even worse, they may break some of my toys. Don’t touch that, it’s mine. Don’t put your icky hands on my bed, I sleep there. Don’t rip pages out of that book, it’s my favourite book. Don’t breathe in my room, I breathe in my room. I just can’t handle you coming here and disturbing the peace. I had it all ordered, I knew where everything was, and I liked it. Now you brought with you the forces of chaos, and dealing with that is just now what I had in mind for today.

I could never be a freemason. Sure, I have some good ideas for how to secretly rule the world, but if you’re a freemason, you’re expected to be part of the team. There’s no “I” in freemasonry. The secret cabal that controls all of the world’s governments, they don’t want independent folks like me to show up thinking that I can do my work assignments on my own. The Illuminati is run by a committee. You don’t get far in that world by being some freewheeling bohemian incapable of getting along with others. You don’t establish a New World Order by promoting self-reliance. Institutions are great for those who like to get chummy with their pals, the gregarious sorts who know exactly who to talk to in order to advance in the ranks. You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. Favours for favours. One of the reasons why I inherently distrust many institutions is because they are rife with nepotism. You know that whoever gets to sit on the high council of the Illuminati didn’t get there via competency alone. No, they knew a guy, who was cousins with this other guy, who used to work for this guy, and y’know, you pull one string and suddenly there you are on top of the social hierarchy. Most often people get promoted, not because they do good work, but because they happen to know the right people. But again, maybe I’m just being cynical.

I’ve had a recurring fantasy, in the past, of being a lighthouse keeper. Living out somewhere all on my own, not having to deal with any human relationships. Maybe I could befriend a seagull, but even that seems a little too much. Seagulls can be very needy. No, I’d just get on with whatever I’d most like to be doing, writing or making art, just enjoying my solitude. I imagine that the toughest thing about being a lighthouse keeper is the loneliness, but the loneliness is only a plus for me. I’ve long ago decided to like being lonely. I don’t want to face the fact that I too yearn for company, I like to pretend as if I am fine with being alone. So the fantasy of being a lighthouse keeper is perfect for me, I could get far away from society and I could earn a living not having to give a fuck about what others think about me. I could allow myself to get as weird as I would want to get, not having to wash my image, acting like I’m all rational and well-adjusted. It would just be me and my seagull. How simple life would be. Too bad I think most lighthouses are automated, these days.

Maybe being the perpetual malcontent cynic incapable of fitting with mainstream society isn’t all so bad. In some regards, I have made that my brand. Generally, I like to think that I don’t take myself too seriously, but like a lot of people, I’ve turned those edgier parts of my personality into armour that I wear to protect myself from the scorn of others. You can’t accuse me of being a miserable piece of shit when I’ve decided to make being a miserable piece of shit my thing. It’s what I am, and I am not going to change. I’m not really all that mean, or nasty. I am fairly cynical, but I don’t act like some asshole. I don’t think anyone is upset with me for how I act. I’ve only occasionally gotten told off for being too gloomy. But the problem here does not lie with how I end up treating others, but rather how I end up treating myself. I don’t want to make cynicism part of my sense of self. I don’t want to be this person, this misanthrope who only sees problems, and never celebrates the good things in life. I should engage with self-empowerment. I should be happy.

It’s okay being neurodivergent! Sure, you may find other people strange or foreign, with their yapping mouths and their over-eager desire to look you directly in the eyes, but just ignore them! Neurotypicals are just so last century, the future is all neurodivergent! You’re on the right side of history, bud! You’re cool, and radical, and you’re absolutely a sexy little cupcake. You either learn to love yourself, or you lose yourself. Make funny memes, find some online community to be a part of. You can absolutely be a freemason if you want to be a freemason. Don’t let your diagnosis get in your way, so long as you’ve got that inner fire driving you, you can be anything you want to be. Go ahead and rule the world, babe. Remember, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, and right now, it’s good vibes only.

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

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sadcxzcf · 3 years

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blurrypetals · 3 years

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May the Best Man Win by Z.R. Ellor - blurrypetals review

originally posted apr. 30, 2021 - ★★☆☆☆

An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This is by far my biggest disappointment of 2021 so far. This book had so much promise to be an adorable romantic comedy with one of the cutest premises ever, but due largely to the fact that it is being disgustingly mismarketed as a cutesy rom com when it is, in fact, not funny and it is not a romance, it falls directly on its face when there is nothing but angst and hollow characters to hold it up. To say that this book was a slog would be a bit of an understatement. I started this book on March 15th and it took me until today, April 30th, to drag myself across the finish line. It might have honestly taken me longer if my copy from NetGalley weren't expiring in just a few hours. As I mentioned before, I did expect this book to have a completely different tone from what it ended up having, but it also didn't focus on Homecoming the same way I expected it to. I really expected this to be the two boys pranking back and forth throughout Homecoming week and any fun and trouble that might occur in between, but the conflict of this book barely involves the race for Homecoming King. Instead, it's about a bully at the school, the school's Code of Conduct, and Lukas's struggles to succeed despite his extra challenges due to the fact that he's autistic. This shift in focus wouldn't be so bad if it actually meant something at the end of the book, but so much is abandoned, shoved aside, or just plain ignored by the end that it really left me wanting for something. This book really is just angst on wheels. While I do think this is an honest portrayal of a trans character in Jeremy, it also feels like there is nowhere near enough depth to him. He oftentimes reads as a bit of a parody of himself, though, especially in the parts that deal with the Code of Conduct and Philip, the school bully. All nuance is thrown straight out the window when it comes to Jeremy's conflicts in the story and it's extremely difficult to relate to him as a character when he feels like he's built purely of nothing but anger and being trans. And I say this knowing that a lot of trans folks are angry, and they have every right to be. I'm angry for a lot of trans folks who don't get the rights they deserve. So when their representation is boiled down to nothing but a hate filled boy whose friends all hate him, it sort of ends up feeling like an empty portrayal. If I didn't already know the author was trans, I truly might have thought this was written by someone who was cis. Someone well-meaning, perhaps, but misguided. Jeremy's personality is that he's angry and trans. Show me why Lukas loves him, why his friends care about him, because I don't get it. Ellor failed to write a compelling, believable trans character, which is a real damn shame, probably the biggest failing of this book, in my opinion. Lukas's character is dealt with the same lack of care. Lukas is autistic and his family is grieving after the death of his older brother. I think Lukas's autism is handled the way I wish Jeremy's trans-ness had been handled: as a trait of his but not a defining character trait. It affects Lukas's schooling and even causes him to cheat, but his autism doesn't rule his storyline the same way Jeremy being trans rules his. I know these two things are not exactly comparable, but again, it just handles this completely normal thing, autism, and treats it like this completely normal thing. Why couldn't Jeremy being trans be like this? I digress. The part of Lukas's story that annoyed me most was his issues with his family. We get maybe two or three full, real scenes including Lukas's parents, but in each one, we are never really shown the issues Lukas is having with them, other than perhaps the fact that they are distant. There is a really strange scene that comes out of nowhere in the latter half of the book involving Lukas's mother that gets absolutely no resolution by the end, it just happens, even appears to be a big, life-changing event for Lukas, but Ellor's major pacing issues leave no room for any conflicts to actually breathe, change, or resolve. And, since I've mentioned it, let's discuss Ellor's issues with pacing! Have any of you ever gotten into a car with a 15-year-old who's preparing for their permit test? It starts a little rough; there's a lot of jolting, stopping and starting as they get used to the brakes and, once they get going, they might start to get the hang of it, but eventually they have to use those brakes again, so it's just a lot of stopping and starting, a lack of surety, and often no true sense of direction. This whole analogy is to say: Z.R. Ellor's pacing feels exactly like a 15-year-old kid learning to drive. Scenes end suddenly and move along to the next bit, often in ways that makes it difficult for the reader to get their bearings or follow the extremely tenuous threads that string each scene together. Any time it seems like Ellor gains a little momentum, he shoots himself in the foot, hitting the brakes immediately before pivoting elsewhere. Lukas and Jeremy both seem to drift through scenes, telling us the things they're thinking without those thoughts having much bearing on the scenes at hand most of the time. Also, this book is written from the first person POV in the present tense, which only made it feel like I was reading a hollow What I Did Over the Summer essay a high schooler was forced to write. It's so frustrating that this story is all about these two boys' hardships but the pacing and all-around average to poor writing quality make it impossible to hold onto anything. It feels every bit the debut that it is. And, speaking of holding onto things, this book gave me absolutely no reason to root for Lukas and Jeremy to be together. None of the flashbacks or stories from before their breakup led me to believe the two of them really ever loved each other, which hurts the story greatly, since much of the drama comes from their lingering feelings for one another. They both seemed to admire one another, but they had next to zero chemistry, so when they're still pining over each other, it feels like actors reading a script, not two boys who have complicated yet sincere feelings for each other. I honestly think I could go on, but I really have already wasted enough time with this one. It's boring, its marketing is misleading, and you can tell from just about every aspect of this book that it is a debut with shockingly little polish and utterly empty characters, apart from Sol, the best part of the book. It's rushed, yet it somehow also feels agonizingly slow. I wanted this premise to work, I was so prepared to be swept away by this book. I legitimately pumped my fists in the air when I got approved for this one, so I really had high hopes for it to work. But you know what they say about high expectations: the higher they are, the longer and harder the fall.

#may the best man win #z.r. ellor #zr ellor #2021 #goodreads mirror #blurrypetals

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zayizzle · 3 years

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I was thinking for all last night on the words I put onto that I rant I posted a couple of days ago. I wanted to think back on the words I chosen, I feel like I could been more eloquent and mature about it. Going off the cuff with the language I did isn’t going to win points from anyone that I want to think different. Despite all of that, I will not go back on the overall message I trying to convey from my rant; I am simply going back on the tone it conveys due to writing it out of anger.

The message was simply ‘because you don't like something or your kid is addicted to something and you don’t get why doesn't mean it is "evil"’. No adult is going to enjoy every thing their kids like. Plenty of adults will believe what they watched as a kid is superior than modern kid and family media things today; I'm not innocent of that myself, everyone will always think what they experience was better when they was kids.

In addition, kids are more naturally compulsive over their current interests; some more than others. Many children on the autism spectrum like myself might like something for years to come they thought they would grow out of eventually. For example, Hello Kitty is one of many interests I’m still fixated on despite my age. That doesn’t mean it had a demonic hold on me, but that I just took a special interest in that and should be respected.

Some of this is stemmed due to how my parents, mostly my late mother raised me. I realized that even if my mom disliked a toy, show, or whatever I liked she still was supportive of it; as long as it wasn’t inappropriate or negatively influencing. A lot of time I feel that some parents let their own bias and judgement keep their kids from having a more fulfilling childhood by enjoying things they like. However, this is also coming from a person who doesn’t have a child and doesn’t know what it take to raise one. All I can go by is my parents’ own parenting, however this is not me stating my parents were perfect at raising kids. Far from that, they made plenty of mistakes; no one is perfect.

This is simply something I deeply respected out of them, that they didn’t let their own views of something keep me from enjoying it; again, if was appropriate for me. If did something or behaved badly due to a show or game, they would sit me down and say that I can’t do that. However, they didn’t blame the actual thing itself. They simply set boundaries for it.

If something is negatively affecting a child, then take to them and set boundaries. If it is such a negative influence cut it off completely. However, do not make the claim that a show, game, movies, whatever is “evil”. The people that makes these things aren’t plotting on how to corrupt the current youth like so many people conspire to believe. A lot of times, they just want to make a entertaining show and hopefully make a profit off that (though some can be very focus on the profit part I will admit).

Saying something is “evil” is such a bold and heavy claim to make. Because you not only demonizing the thing in particular. You’re placing that on the creators that made it, other parents that are okay with it, people that generally enjoy it and even the children.

You’re basically saying all those creators just want to corrupt kids and are horrible people. People that maybe just wanting to make something fun for kids and family. The creator of Pokemon initial idea for making the original game was to let children experience the joy that he had when he was a child collecting bugs. That is one of the most innocents things I ever heard, even if the transience is a lucrative cash cow. For someone to say that is evil, I don’t even know.

Parents that due to being okay with something, they are ruining their children.People that they what they enjoy is evil and thus their values are skewed, children that what they liked wasn’t right. Folks that could be good people and perhaps those interests someone else claim is evil actual was good for them or at least harmless. When I was scared, my mom encouraged me to be like Ash Ketchum and a Power Puff Girl not give up.

Another thing I was fixated on when I was kid that my late mom confessed she hated when I was over them My Little Pony. The ponies costed so much, they was hard to take out the box, she didn’t know what made one pony unique from the other aside from the picture on their hip and color but I had to have all of them included the houses and accessories. Despite all of that, she didn’t stop me from enjoying them. There was even positive influences that came from it such as me being interested in learning about real horses and wanting to help animals. I wanted to grow up be a vet until I learned I am too squeamish for that.

Point is, before you point at something and call it evil think about what you’re reasoning is it for. Is it truly justified? Do you simply don’t like it and what a reason to justify it? How is negatively influencing someone, is it all?

#pokemon #kids #rant #ramble #vent #my little pony #moral #philosophy #ideals

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robert-c · 4 years

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The Pandemic

So far I’ve tried to focus on more fundamental issues that, while currently relevant, are less topical. Today I need to speak about the COVID-19 pandemic.

It should be clear to anyone who is following the real facts, that our response could have and should have been better and sooner, as there were ample early warnings. A global pandemic is a disaster scenario the last several presidents have been briefed about, because all of the experts knew it was a matter of when, not if, one would strike.

It should also go without saying that the primary opinions that matter in crafting a response are those of the medical professionals. Certainly not the “gut” of a “think they know it all”. And certainly not the concerns of multi-millionaires (especially politicians) who are afraid their stock portfolios will lose too much money. It may be possible to cloud the issue of just what could/should have been done sooner, but nothing changes the fact that this president (who deserves no more name recognition) eliminated our CDC liaison position in China six months before the outbreak in Wuhan, and has repeatedly tried to cut funding to the CDC and other critical scientific agencies.

This president’s divisive and ignorant rhetoric came at time when we needed a real leader to help us come together and coordinate a response. Instead, what we’ve been getting are potentially self-serving cure all myths (the malaria drugs which actually had more coronavirus patients die than those not given the drug), definitely dangerous suggestions (that we should look into how we could use disinfectants internally to knock out the virus), strong indications of vindictive allocations of needed supplies (away from blue states and areas in favor of red ones), and attempts to showboat as a leader while doing nothing but claiming credit for whatever good news there actually is (and making it up when there isn’t any.)

Look at what relief this president’s party has provided. A paltry sum for the average citizen (but making sure his name is on the checks), forgivable loans to small businesses with loopholes large enough to allow major corporations to benefit, as well as outright set asides for major corporations in major industries. All while making sure that unemployment funds are not supplemented for the states. While the president has refrained from some of the most heinous suggestions (e.g. that seniors and others at higher risk should just be willing to die to avoid tanking the economy), he certainly hasn’t disavowed those sentiments.

Even so, it is a ridiculous idea even if you are willing to put a dollar and cent value on lives. What sort of disastrous economic impact do you think having 500,000 to 1,000,000 deaths in the US will do to the economy versus perhaps ultimately 100,000 to 200,000 by sticking to our safety measures?

Until now, this president’s buffoonery was something to shake your head at and hope that we could quickly reverse when he is voted out of office. While there would be damage, it seemed like most of it could be repaired. But this pandemic is something we cannot undo. There will be many more dead than needed to be, and many more changes in our society than might have been necessary. Worst of all, more divisiveness, more “us versus them”; because stoking an angry emotional response is the best way to get people to NOT listen to their own reason and rationality. And that is exactly what this president needs to stay in power – people who won’t think things through, who will accept his (ever changing) version of the facts, because it satisfies fears of theirs.

I know the cowardly Republican lap dogs of the Senate won’t ever hold him accountable, but this president has done more to besmirch the office and circumvent the checks and balances of power than any president since Nixon. The lack of principle and courage to even investigate these actions should make virtually every Republican member of the Senate ashamed and rightfully removed from office by the citizens of both the left and the right.

The endless blame games, scapegoating and conspiracy theorizing of this president stand in stark contrast to the sort of leadership President Bush exhibited following the 9/11 attacks. His address to the first responders at “the pile” in NYC was even better than his speech to Congress. It was unifying and connected with people instead of tooting his own horn, or blaming others for our current problems in responding.

An ignorant distrust of science and experts characterizes this president and his hardest core supporters. When their fanciful beliefs were confined to political slander and “junk science” (like vaccines cause autism, windmills cause cancer, or denying climate change) they could largely be ignored as the rantings of the willfully uninformed. But when it comes to a worldwide pandemic that is infecting millions and killing hundreds of thousands, and is not over yet, then it rises to the level that can only be described as “criminal stupidity”.

There are real problems for the small businesses and sole practitioners who are closed completely because they are not “essential” and I sympathize as a former small businessman (actually a sole practitioner consultant). But those wanting to rush the opening of the economy don’t really care about these people, or they would have done a better job of ensuring that the aid reached these folks instead of large businesses with deep pockets for campaign donations. This rush to reopen the economy is a self-serving political stunt and panders to the least informed of the electorate.

The bungling of early warning, adequate supplies and testing put America at special risk because we are a nation of “individualists”. Often that individualism is a good thing, but sometimes, like now, it exacerbates a problem. This is when there needs to be trust in the experts and a unifying leadership to encourage all of us “rugged individualists” to think (just a little for a time) about the good of others as well as ourselves. We are not a compliant populace, so the need for leadership by example is all the more important.

We do not have a long history of being ruled by absolute authorities, like the Chinese. After a short initial period of trying to deny the outbreak for image reasons, when the Chinese government accepted the reality of the situation they moved swiftly to impose controls, and they largely didn’t have to worry about public backlash. The Swedes have avoided full lockdowns, and while there is still uncertainty about this policy it seems to be working because the Swedes trust their government and scientific agencies and their people are taking sensible precautions individually because it isn’t an “all about me” culture.

The US has neither of these situations. The first is our political legacy and the second is mostly an issue of leadership. We have shown in the past that we can come together as a nation and solve problems for our common good. But in every case, we had a leader who showed us the way, who encouraged us to listen to our better angels. We have never endured a crisis with someone who got to his position through the exploitation of fear, anger and divisiveness.

It is my fervent hope that this is not the model for how we go forward, because if it is, we are all doomed; either to die from some natural catastrophe that could have been avoided or minimized, or to fall victim to a dictatorship of self-congratulatory smiley faces – like a Kim Jong Un, whom our president likes so much.

In the absence of scientifically based leadership, I’m calling on all the people still willing to use their brains instead of their emotions to follow the directions and advice of the medical professionals in the field of infectious disease, and ignore the advice of political leaders, looking to score a win with those want a rapid return to business as usual.

For those whose income has not been affected by the closures I encourage you to give significantly to individuals you know have been hurt by the closures. These are the people whose services you used, but cannot at this time. Perhaps the personal generosity of good people can offset somewhat the inadequate and self-serving response that was all our mostly Republican Senate would allow.

#COVID19 #coronavirus #pandemic

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mariposalass · 6 years

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This one's for everyone: what were your first impressions of Mari? :O

“I’ll probably go first: I honestly was shocked by how timid Mari was (and kinda still is) when her folks decided to take me into their home as a part of the family. For the first few days I was in her home, we were in awkward silence unless something interesting comes up, but after being told by her (and now my) Mum that she has autism and needs some companions as she was the only kid in the family like me before the adoption, I did my best to communicate with her and we grew closer ever since.

Right now, we’re really that close, although she does do the ‘little sister things’ at me just to annoy me at times and tease me & Issa nearly everyday. Still, she’s really an amazing woman and I’m really proud to be her brother, even if we’re not related by blood.“

“Well, she was just starting her part-time job in the public library when I first met her. I still remember that she was that quirky when it comes to talking about her interests but she was also socially awkward towards most of the people working there and nobody wasn’t sure if she could survive even a day in the library. And yet I thought if I can at least assist her during that time period, she won’t feel out of place during that time.

Nowadays, we’re as close as ever and we get to hang out whenever we have the time. Since I’m dating Harry and he’s also her brother by adoption, it’s getting even more interesting when you ask her if she’s in favor of our relationship. She approves of it and doesn’t mind seeing us together. Hey, everyone wins in this case.“

“I initially met Mari when I was adopted by our family years back, so when I first met her, she was unusually quiet compared to the rest of the family and seems to be in a world of her own, which left me initially confused. Then one day, she asked me if I needed help in adjusting to my new life in California and I noticed that she was very interested into checking out our neighborhood. The tour went pretty well, and we started to become close as sisters.

Today, we’re still close and we actually live in the same house as with Harry, that little pink puffball, and our PokeBird friends. Sure, she can be a little off at times in whatever she does (and it may or may not be due to her diagnosis), but I’m glad to say that Mari’s a pretty cool big sister to me.“

#f/o takeover #impromptu f/o takeover #kairi #isabelle miravelez #harry potter #harry potter series #Kingdom Hearts #ikaw lamang #my f/os #steel blossoms #phoenix wiz #princess of light #ask answered #self ship #self shipping #self insert #plucky belmondo

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builder051 · 2 years

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2, 9, and 18 if you please.

first theater film

Considering my birth year (which you can probably deduce from a little Wikipedia and simple math--not that I'm encouraging you to do that--nope, not at all), everybody in my peer group and their dog's cousin's ex-boyfriend from Seattle either saw Lion King on it's primary theater run (because their parents were like, hey, little kid movie! I'll take my little kid!) or Jurassic Park (because their parents were like, hey, our tiny kid will sleep through this incredibly loud dinosaur movie...)

But my parents had this thing where they would quite literally leave public spaces if I started to fuss, because they just flat refused to be that family... So my first theater movie was Pocahontas. Instead of being terrorized by murderous lions or people-eating dinosaurs, I got a nice dose of fake history-as-told-by-the-winning-white-guy, you know, where they made the heroine have boobs so it didn't look like John Smith was a pedophile or anything...

Actually, through much of my childhood (up to ~8ish, I thought the movie was historically accurate. Blame my parents. They're the blatantly racist type that play dumb and say they're not for reasons such as not being active in the KKK. But (un?)knowingly only giving me access to media done up by white folks with a 'west is the best' perspective? Oh, those are classics. We wanted you to grow up educated, not reading things by people who don't know punctuation (ee cummings), etc.

Disney movie (you know, that's actually Disney made, not acquired)

Probably an unusual choice, both for being a sequel and not a member of an extremely popular franchise (like, that has associated toys and candy and stuff): Ralph Breaks the Internet.

I liked princess when I was a kid. (Since I'm all about race-thwacking my parents today-- When Princess and the Frog came out, I was... a teenager? maybe? But my mom, who had always been a loose collector of Disney stuff, refused to see the movie. "Black princess, hum drum. We already have Mulan (who, um, isn't a princess). Jasmine (who is a concubine). Pocahontas (who is a one-woman-human zoo, travelling Europe and dying of smallpox).")

Nowadays, I kind of hate Disney princesses. I find them to be, like, "roll the die to determine the action, because they only have 6 possibilities of "voluntary" behavior, all of which are pre-planned." Wreck-It-Ralph, on the other hand, has one of those DND pyramidal dice that only has, like, four options on it (I'm gonna wreck it! Pie! etc.). But he's aware of his dice; he knows he's stupid. And maybe because of that, he has very strong and genuine feelings.

In the Breaks the Internet film, he has to learn that he can't rely on just one person (Vanellope, his BFF) to meet all his social/emotional/caretaking/buddy-buddy needs. She has other interests, and it's ok for her to have other friends, too. I think the movie (which is hilarious, especially to young adult/internet geeks who actually understand all the jokes) speaks very well to many subgroups of the population: students transitioning to middle or high school, families who are moving and expecting kids to re-socialize, folks with autism and other challenges who have a hard time having multiple friends and/or seeing their friends have multiple friends. Giving that feeling a word (insecure) and using your own mind/tools to bring down the negativity that comes with it is sssuuuch a good visual example for folks to don't get it abstractly. Then the ending that shows Vanellope and Ralph keeping in touch--it's realistic, not perfect. I like it.

Family tradition (s)

Seasonal stuff and holiday stuff was always big with my bio family. Christmas movies (finally we parred them down, once I was a teenager and showed active distaste) were practically scheduled like religious services. A Christmas Story, which I hate. (I've read In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, and the book isn't bad. It's just... very poorly adapted into a holiday-centric film instead of being a 'goofy things that happen in childhood that affect one as he grows up' film.) We've been watching that since the beginning of time, and my dad even insists we have a dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and stewed red cabbage (because that's what they seem to be eating for every meal in the film, except for the Chinese dinner). After Elf (with Will Farrel) came out ~2004ish, that became a demanded family tradition too. Must watch at least once before Christmas. I don't mind that one, because the jokes are more on the level of verbal irony instead of sarcasm/people actively getting upset at each other.

For a while (teenage-hood until I moved out), I convinced my parents it was strictly necessary to watch Point Break and Out of Africa, in that order, of Christmas day. I don't think my parents would've let that fly if they were paying a lick of attention, but, well... I made it happen.

Nowadays, with DD and the kids and the roommates, I've proposed Iron Man III as the best Christmas movie of all time, and that's gotten an excellent response. Fingers crossed we can keep it up in following years.

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soisialta · 3 years

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vimeo

#AXSChat with Kate Nicholson, Dawn Gibson and Charis Hill from akwyz on Vimeo.

Kate Nicholson, JD, is a health policy and civil rights attorney and a nationally-recognized expert on the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). She served in the U.S. Department of Justice’s civil rights division for 18 years, where she litigated and managed cases, coordinated federal disability policy, and drafted the current ADA regulations.

Kate developed intractable pain after a surgical mishap left her unable to sit or stand and severely limited in walking for many years. During those years, she used opioid pain medication integrated with adjunctive therapies in order to continue to work and function. She gave the TEDx talk, What We Lose When We Undertreat Pain, and speaks widely at universities and conferences and to physicians groups.

Kate has published pieces on this topic in The Washington Post, the LA Times, The Chicago Tribune, the Miami Herald, the Hill, and STATnews, among others, and is writing a book. She has appeared on public radio, Stand Up with Pete Dominick, and The Roy Green Show, and has given interviews to Fox News, Vice, BBC, and others.

She is Co-Chair of the Chronic Pain/Opioid Task Force for the National Council on Independent Living (NCIL) and was recently appointed to the Opioid Workgroup of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. She regularly collaborates with drug policy, civil rights, disability rights and pain awareness organizations. She is also a 2019-20 Mayday Pain & Society Fellow.

Kate was a Senior Fellow at Dartmouth College and is a graduate of Harvard Law School.

Dawn Gibson is a health writer and disability activist best known for her work with arthritis patients, chronic pain, less evident disabilities, and eldercare. Dawn live tweets her advocacy trips and vacations to normalize chronic pain, disability travel accommodations, and highlight disabled folks moving freely through society.

She founded the Spoonie Chat Twitter community in 2013 and remains active in various disability communities. Some of her favorite things include Detroit Tigers baseball on the radio, hand raising butterflies, and Christmas trees and faux gingerbread houses. Dawn dyslexia, spondyloarthritis, and serious food allergies.

Charis Hill is an award-winning queer disabled chronic disease advocate, writer, speaker, and model living with Axial Spondyloarthritis (formerly Ankylosing Spondilitis), autism, major depressive disorder, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Charis’ story has been featured in dozens of publications and media outlets including Arthritis Today magazine, Mother Jones, CNBC, the Associated Press, and in the documentary film Becoming Incurable. Charis has also been instrumental in creating spondyloarthritis disease treatment guidelines; designing and conducting patient-centered rheumatological research; forming international criteria for disease treatment outcomes; and creating research guidelines. They are involved in national/international advocacy, and are the co-founder of #HighRiskCovid19.

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dweemeister · 6 years

Text

2017 Movie Odyssey for-fun awards

The 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards are being posted sometime soon, but, as is tradition on this blog, here are some for-fun honors and dishonors based on a year of watching 200+ films that were new to me this calendar year.

Actor I wanted to smack most in the face: Mark Wahlberg, The Happening (2008)

Good lord, he was AWFUL. “Planning on murdering me in my sleep?” “WHAT, NO!” Here’s Wahlberg talking to a plastic tree.

Attempted political messaging, but says less than it wants: State of the Union (1948)

Frank Capra, you are better than this!

Attempted religious messaging, but says less than it wants: Conflagration (1958, Japan)

Best Film Title: What Dreams May Come (1998)

Best individual cue from an original score: “End Titles” from Independence Day (1996), composed by David Arnold

Best lyrics passage from an original song: From “No Wrong Way Home” from Pearl (2016 short)

One blue-green world, round as a pearl, doesn’t matter which road you take, you’ll wind up in the same place. That’s not philosophy, it’s geometry, and if things don’t look the same, well it’s only you who’ve changed.

There’s some interesting messaging and rhyming going on here. Damn.

Best Moment: An act of sportsmanship, followed by a grandstand finish, Akeelah and the Bee (2006)

If you have kids and they haven’t seen this movie, find this movie. If you haven’t seen this movie, find this movie.

Best Montage: Body-switching and “Zenzenzense”, Your Name (2016, Japan)

Best Movie Dad: Raymond from My Life as a Zucchini (2016, Switzerland)

The first non-biological father to win here, I think. It matters not, though. He is wonderful here.

Best Movie Family Member, non-parent: Aunt Mattie (Clara Blandick), A Star Is Born (1937)

For supporting Esther’s dreams of going to Hollywood without fail. You go, Aunt Mattie. She really is not in this movie long enough.

Best Movie Mom(s): All of the Boatwrights (Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, and Sophie Okonedo) and Rosaleen (Jennifer Hudson), The Secret Life of Bees (2008)

Again, a first in that these are adopted parents. Thanks to a good friend of mine for introducing to me the book.

Best on-screen friendship: The friendship between all the orphans in My Life as as Zucchini

Best use of non-original music (and best musical callback to a past movie): The many uses of “You’ll Never Know” from Hello Frisco Hello (1943) appearing in The Shape of Water (2017)

Hello Frisco Hello remains on my watchlist… we’ll get there someday!

Best dance segment (for two): Rita Hayworth and Fred Astaire in “I’m Old Fashioned”, You Were Never Lovelier (1942)

Best dance segment (solo): Donald O’Connor in “A Man Chases a Girl (Until She Catches Him)”, There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954)

Best sword fight: Errol Flynn v. Basil Rathbone, Captain Blood (1935)

Yeah, sorry folks who expected Rey and Kylo Ren v. Praetorian Guards or Kylo Ren v. Luke here.

Bestiality: The Red Turtle (2016, France/Belgium/Japan)

SPOILERS!!!

Biggest Disappointment: Marnie (1964)

Oh god, this may be the first Hitchcock movie I truly loathed (nor do I think it will be the last… I’ve basically seen all the greats by now).

Biggest (pleasant) surprise: Pear Cider and Cigarettes (2016 short)

I was worried about the explicit content for this Oscar-nominated short film, and that it might meander around its topic a bit. But no it didn’t. Well done, well deserved nomination.

Biggest (unpleasant) surprise: Detroit (2017)

It becomes torture porn in the final third. The black victims are not nearly developed enough here as they should be.

Bloodbath: Logan (2017)

Is it the movie with the highest body count? Maybe not, considering I saw both Independence Day movies this year. But it was certainly bloody!

Bravest: Parvana, The Breadwinner (2017)

Going full-out Mulan to help her family survive in pre-American invasion Afghanistan? I was astounded by Parvana’s resilience.

Don’t take opiates, kids: Pink Floyd - The Wall (1982)

Greatest Discovery (Actor): Pierre Étaix, Yoyo (1965, France)

Greatest Discovery (Actress): Brooklynn Prince, The Florida Project (2017)

Greatest Discovery (Director): D.A. Pennebaker, Don’t Look Back (1967) and Monterey Pop (1968)

Hardest ending to watch: The Coward (1965, India)

Satyajit Ray pulling no punches here.

Hypnotic: Notes on a Triangle (1966 short)

A beautiful experimental animated short film. Someone’s going to connect it to the Illuminati or some vast Canadian conspiracy somehow.

Kept me on the edge of my seat: Seven Days to Noon (1950)

A Cold War thriller at the very beginning of the Cold War has so much going for it than so many modern thrillers can never hope to achieve.

Kick-ass moment: This riding scene from The Man from Snowy River (1982)

I’d like to see a chimpanzee with dual-wielding machine guns do that! Make it happen, 20th Century Fox!

Laziest (not worst) film title: Summer Magic (1963)

I mean, the songs are decent and Hayley Mills is, too. But come on, Disney!

Least funny comedy: That Funny Feeling (1965)

Least likely to deserve my negative review 10 years from now: Justice League (2017)

Because you know Zack Snyder will find a way to screw the DCEU up even more.

Least likely to deserve my positive review 10 years from now: I have a hunch it’s gonna be Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)… but I don’t want that to be official here.

Line I will repeat the most down the years: “Apes. Together. Strong.”, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Made fashion designers compelling: Funny Face (1957)

Most Inspiring: Swim Team (2016)

A documentary that follows three members of a New Jersey Special Olympics swim team. All those kids have autism, and it is fantastic to see them learn, grow, and live over time. It isn’t a Hoop Dreams, but it doesn’t need to be.

Made me laugh the most: Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968)

And I’m not ashamed to say that. It’s not the best comedy by any means, but I got more laughter and mileage out of this one than anything else.

Most Memorable Use of an Icepick: Scarlet Street (1945)

Don’t spoil if you know!

Most Overrated Picture: Manchester by the Sea (2016)

Casey Affleck had no business winning that Academy Award.

Most Underappreciated: The Great Man (1956)

In our world of “fake news”, this movie - which also comments on how we idealize our heroes - has many echoes on today. It’s a good journalism/news media movie, even if it’s concentrated on early TV and especially radio.

Most Underseen: Bardelys the Magnificent (1926)

A good, entertaining adventure-romance silent film with John Gilbert and Eleanor Boardman. The reason why it’s underseen was because it was considered a lost film until recently, when a near-complete print turned up in France.

Movie I most wished to write on, but wasn’t able to (because I ran out of October to do it): A retrospective on Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) and regular reviews for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) and War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Movie that I’m most eager to rewatch: Castle in the Sky (1986, Japan)

There was so much going on, and so many departures from Nausicaa that I need time to do a Retrospective review on this some day. It’s a gorgeous film.

Nearly resulted in someone killing me in a theater: In This Corner of the World (2016, Japan)

Yeah, if the main character had gone to Hiroshima, I would have been a goner (and it wouldn’t have been by my own hand).

Raunchiest: Destry Rides Again (1939)

Holy hell. There are so many entendres in here, and Marlene Dietrich is going all out on the sexuality! How did this get pass the Hays Code?

Sorry, I didn’t get it, and I still don’t get all the love for David Lynch (even though Mulholland was great): Eraserhead (1977)

Sounds most like a porno (other than Octopussy because that’s too easy): Peeping Tom (1960)

With apologies to Michael Powell.

Star Trek alumni award: Patrick Stewart, Logan (2017)

Surprisingly relevant political commentary: They Won’t Forget (1937)

Northern-Southern attitudes in the United States? Even a touch of racial relations? Now if only Warner Bros. kept the defendant in the movie Jewish, as he was in real life.

Underrated: Lonely Are the Brave (1962)

One of the best neo-Westerns you are likely to see.

Worst film title: The Hound That Thought He Was a Raccoon (1960)

For chrissakes, Disney.

Worst Moment: All the rapey-ness of Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

It reminded me why the 1980s is in contention for my least favorite decade of filmmaking.

Stay tuned, the 2017 Movie Odyssey Awards will be up shortly! Thank you all for following. Thank you all for being here for as long as you have. Thank you for supporting all this blog does.

#My Movie Odyssey

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