#thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me

[lilowoof]

OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D

I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!

Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!

I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)

#don't get me wrong: most of the time I adore just being in my own head and alone! #but when I wanna talk to someone about stuff that is happening.....good or bad. and having no one #THAT's when it hurts the most #doesnt help that this year was kinda just like yay more ppl to hang with- oh they either dropped me as a friend #or prefer to hang with others who are better players (for salmon at least). AH WELL #I really want to go back to the dating apps just so I can TRY to meet ppl even if it doesnt work. AND MEETUP TOO I gotta get on that #tho I do need to reach out to ppl privately to play fish game with since I tend to just wait for ppl to come to me and #thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me #and of course chatting with ppl in servers helps too but it sucks when they arent avail or what I say gets ignored :') #BUT YE. while I AM sad over all of this.... I do have the power to make the change so hopefully the executive dysfunction allows for it #I want to think about how much I wanna live #not about how much I want to fade away and die. ya need some good ppl in life and since I dont have that in the fam. I need the friends :D #actually all of this stemmed from the realization I had on priv that I basically have no family to lean on. like. at all. no connection #or trust #and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim #hahaha I kinda feel better typing this all out! that was the goal after all

[thewertsearch]

TG: i just want to know whats really going on here TG: before i decide to start choppin off the heads of outrageously good looking snoozing dudes [...] TG: something about this doesnt add up

Dave knows Terezi well enough to know he's being fucked with. What's her game?

TG: i dont remember sleeping on this bed TG: or reaching the god tier im pretty sure thats something id remember TG: so is he from the future [...] GC: NOP3!

I think I know what Terezi is trying to do.

This is an offshoot Dave. He's from a doomed timeline, and fate decrees he must die. Even if Dave Prime spares him here, it won't matter in the long run - the game simply can't abide his existence.

Now, when I first heard about this concept, I wondered if there was a way to rules-lawyer your way out of this predicament. Davesprite seems fine, and it's possible that his doom was suppressed or nullified by the Kernelsprite's resurrective properties. It can bring back the dead, so why can't it save a dead man walking?

The Quest Bed is an incredibly powerful device, and its capabilities aren't quite clear yet. This one is designed to resurrect Dave Strider - but can it only resurrect Dave Strider? Will it work for any Player, or any Knight of Time? Is it picky about which Dave Strider it resurrects? Can it undo an alt-Dave's death, or overrule it before it takes effect?

These things are worth looking into. Terezi seems to agree, and she's perfectly willing to sacrifice a few kids in the name of scientific enquiry - lest we forget the last doomed timeline she made.

GC: 1T 1SNT 34SY FOR 4NYON3 TO F4C3 TH31R OWN D34TH GC: 3V3N 1F TH3 CONS3QU3NC3 1S TO TH31R B3N3F1T GC: NOT 3V3N 4NY OF US M4N4G3D TO DO 1T GC: W3LL, 3XC3PT FOR ON3 TG: who GC: T4K3 4 WILD GU3SS!

Vriska, I assume. It's been strongly hinted that she tried to convince Tavros to kill her, and I've been wanting to talk about that for a while.

I think her motivation was pretty clear.

Vriska desperately wants her victims to hate her, but Tavros just wants her to fuck off. He's too passive to make any grand gesture of revenge - so Vriska decides to manufacture one. She needs him to kill her, because then they'll be even, and she can put it all behind her for good.

GC: YOU WOULDNT STOP BUGG1NG M3 [...] GC: 1 TOLD YOU YOU WOULDNT B3 4BL3 TO F4C3 YOUR D34TH GC: 4ND TH4T W4SNT GOOD 3NOUGH FOR YOU! SO H3R3 W3 4R3 TG: what exactly did you do

She cloned you, Dave. She cloned you, dropped the clone on a sacrificial slab, and told you to murder him.

Don't piss off a Scourge Sister.

GC: OK, R3M3MB3R WH3N YOU W3R3 4SK1NG M3 4BOUT TH1S GOD T13R STUFF GC: [...] SO 1 G4V3 YOU 4 CHO1C3 GC: TO F1ND OUT NOW, OR F1ND OUT L4T3R [...] TG: ok but you didnt actually give me a choice TG: you just flipped a coin GC: Y34H GC: 4ND 1 L3FT TH3 D3C1S1ON OV3R TH3 OUTCOM3 OF TH3 FL1P 1N YOUR H4NDS! >:]

Terezi's coin flip happened in the Veil, so it can't split Dave's timeline. Come to think of it, we've never heard about any offshoot timelines in Sgrub's postgame.

Plus, I'm not actually sure if flipping a coin would split the timeline. Each branch we've seen so far has been the result of a conscious decision, rather than an uncertain event.

The current Alpha Timeline was split off from Davesprite's when he made the decision to go back and save John.

The red-suited Dave's timeline was born from his decision to stop DD from stealing the Sburb Beta.

Quest Bed Dave, as we're seeing now, was born from a decision made by Dave during his conversation with Terezi.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #s99 #3091

[thefirstknife]

Getting real sick of a certain subset of Destiny players complaining that it’s a baby game and crying to Bungie to nerf exotics and abilities when their ENTIRE POINT IS TO BE STRONG in specific ways as if they are being locked into using them.

IF YOU WANT AN EXTRA CHALLENGE STOP BEING SUCH A DPS GOBLIN AND JUST EQUIP SOMETHING THATS NOT TOP TIER META AND STOP COMPLAINING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

MOOD. Go off.

It's incredibly annoying to me. They always use the argument of "the game should FORCE me to do things, I should not SELF-IMPOSE challenges." And like. ? I'm sorry but what? It's a video game for a big audience, it's here to be playable and accessible to the widest possible playerbase. There are plenty of ways to make the game difficult for yourself, so knock yourself out if that's your thing, but don't force others into it.

Like, I enjoy hard content, I regularly at least attempt day 1 raids, I do master raids, GMs, solo and solo flawless content and all that. But only when I want to. Sometimes I don't and I don't want to suffer in a patrol zone or struggle in a seasonal activity I'm doing for the story. The majority of the players don't want that. Designing games for the professional gamers only has NEVER been a good idea and never will be. Fifty streamers can't sustain a video game. It needs casual players who will want to come back to the game instead of feeling defeated.

One of the reasons I really enjoy helping others is because I know that casual players tend to struggle in stuff that's basic activity for me. I've seen people unable to get through a strike. I've sat for 10 minutes rezing someone who couldn't do the jump in a seasonal activity. I want those people to be able to play basic content without feeling frustrated and I want them to know that there are people out there who will help them out.

And this doesn't apply just to basic content, although it should start with that. I think all dungeons and raids and everything should be things that all players can complete. Fine, doing a master raid with all challenges should be tough, but it should be achievable with time and practice, not impossible. What a lot of these "pros" want is just completely divorced from reality.

It takes days and days of practice every time a new master raid is out for me and my team (all with thousands of hours of playtime) to get comfortable to finally finish it. We're far from casual players and it still takes a lot of time to be able to finish hard content. Making it even harder is insane to me. Like, if something is so hard that my team full of people, each with 5000+ hours of playtime and a coordinated team that's been raiding together for years now can't finish it, that means it's absolutely impossible for probably 90% of the playerbase. That's wild to me. Raids and GMs should have more people playing them. If master raids are too easy for you, Mr. I-Play-Destiny-For-A-Living, that's on you buddy. Unequip the super god tier god roll meta guns and loadouts or play something else.

And ofc, another excuse they make is "if I don't use meta, I am not going to win a raid race!" Then don't. Idk. Let me play you the tiniest violin. This affects literally nobody except a grand total of 50 people. Run your meta in day 1, and play with random shit otherwise. Play raids with all white weapons. Play without mods. Play without a HUD. Do things solo only. I don't know, make up a way to spice things up for yourself. I'm not interested in that and neither are 99% of the players out there. The game is genuinely hard enough for the majority of the players. On top of that, I am here to feel like a powerful space fantasy superhero. I am NOT here to die to dregs in patrol zones. If there's ONE thing that I know for a fact that put people off from Lightfall (as in this year of Destiny), it's the difficulty changes. They're annoying, frustrating and for some a barrier to entry more than anything else.

#destiny 2 #gameplay #ask #long post #i really do love helping but i can't not feel bad because once the people i helped are out of my fireteam... #...there's no telling what other experiences they'll have #there's so many speedrunners and people who don't care and people who just aren't helping and are instead mocking others #you can only do so much for a few people you see in activities #this season's activities are super tough. every time so far I've played everyone in the team was struggling #i'm gonna have to start going into altars of summoning with my full support build warlock just to sit in there and help people #istg the 'pros' have to get their loadouts restricted. go play with non-god tier armour sets and guns #equip the same loadout that some casual player has available and let me see you then #this idea that everyone has minmaxed best equipment available at all times is bizarre. please get your head out of your ass #'i have perfectly rolled all artifice armour with perfect stat exotics for every loadout because i have infinite time to grind' okay dude #most of us aren't being paid to play destiny. lmao #'the game used to be hard' no. you got better. you mastered it #why is this so difficult to understand. everything is hard when you first start. 5000 hours later it no longer is #the game is fine. the 'health of the game' is fine. you mastered it and outgrew it #either impose challenges on yourself or find something else #like. when i first started GMs they were almost impossible for me #now i play them for fun. they're still challenging but they're not the same level of hard and I'm fine with that #i enjoy them as content and they're still entertaining #and when a new GM comes out it's a new challenge to master so it'll be hard at the start #as everything ever in the world #if that's no longer enough for you then you just outgrew the game and should probably move on #the only reason why some things used to be hard was poor quality of life that got improved over time #not being able to mantle in d1 is not difficulty. it's just not good design. it was fixed and improved #the bitching about light 3.0 as well. man. just don't use the 'OP' fragments. it's so easy to unequip them #i personally love the variety and all the options i have now as opposed to before #okay tag essay done. fhkajhakfhksjf

[aquaredhomestuckau]

who wants an unintelligibly unfinished lore infodump

wow really ? ok here goes … no pictures sorry

set the scene theres a space player guy who played sburb ( who would have guessed ) and did all that average dead session caliborn stuff but like not caliborn , and also the challenge being more tailored towards space players rather than time players , how it would change ? IDK . he wins all the fucked up sign leprechauns who will become the horoscope and is like wow i could conquer so many universes with these guys or Whatever thats very on the nose

but in a different medium , his timeplayer ex-hate-girlfriend from ANOTHER UNIVERSE also played sburb and because of the challenge thing couldnt really get all too much done past the god tiering crap . but its ok … becaus she didnt need to .. she only did that bs so she could stop that orher guy from being all big and bad .

she traveled through the furthest ring woohoo and kicked that other guys ass hashtag girlboss and then was like ok guess im leading you guys now and the leprechauns were like OK that other guy was kinda chill but ALRIGHT , they go back to alternius through stupid time shenanigans

this girl im tlaking about is technically the lord englisj ‘ standin ‘ but there was a falling out involving a first guardian ( doc standin ) and the fun gang or whatever they were called and time girl went their separate ways … how this happens ? give me a break i havent thought that far yet . scratchndin is like dont weorry you can go run your errands and become one with the timeline or whayever your team and universes are in good hands ……. and time girl is like ok thats good i guess dont try any funny business , ill be back with the milk soon ……….. then you wont believe who fucks a bunch of future stuff over ..

ok now weve got the first guardian of alternifuck and shit who like in a way is very opposite to doc scratch … everything she .. its a girl btw i dont know why i made her a girl but its too late to change it now LOL .. everything she does is very against what timeplayer stands for and does a bunch of stuff just for the hell of it as a test of her powers she thinks shes funnie …… let women have hobbies i guess ..

thats about as far as im gonna infodump

OK howd you like it how many plot holes did u find how much will you drink to that

#please be nice to me this is the most thinking on something ive done in a while #the cherubs actually have sprites i just have refrained from posting them #scratches chin while thinking #im gonna go on a limb and say space cherub is from earth b and time cherub is from alternius a ?? #and they spoke by something similar enough to jade and jakes pen pal thing ??? i guess #how this works i have no idea I SAY THAT a lot dont i #<- not set in stone but it is an interesting concept to me

[jones-friend]

BG3 is an all-timer

Since 2017 I’ve been making more of an effort to play more games. Two have always sat at the top for me: Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild and Bloodborne. The first game to be added to these two since my Bloodborne fascination is Baldur’s Gate 3.

I’ll be sharing my thoughts and experiences on the game, spoilers will be below the cut.

Very few games conclude with me feeling like I’ve earned the adventure the game wants me to feel. Baldur’s Gate 3 is a whole ass adventure full of twists and turns, puzzles, combat, fantastic sound design, incredibly well written companions, a legendary soundtrack, and a full suite of antagonists to face off against. It is the widest game I’ve ever played with so many systems below the surface I stop seeing the inner workings of the clock and it appears to me as magic.

Baldur’s Gate 3 doesn’t do anything New per say, but what it does is incredible. Everything is bound together in story, everything becomes a piece of the whole and all of it works in concert in a way that enchants me unlike any game I’ve played before.

A playthru of Baldur’s Gate 3 is the hour equivalent of the entire Mass Effect trilogy.

We don’t get games like this often at all. They just don’t come around like this. If you have not played BG3 I cannot recommend it enough, it is incredible in every facet.

In my playthru of Baller’s Gate 3 I made Jones the pal-adin, oath of the ancients.

Dragonborn look so fucking good in this game. I romanced Karlach and was so taken by her personality that when we left to Avernus to fight together so she could live it brought me to tears.

All of the companions are top tier quality. All of them. I will say some have stronger storylines than others but all voice actors and writers are bringing their A games and I can recall incredible moments with all main six party members that endeared me to them:

Astarion: when I discovered his performative voice and his vulnerable voice and we held an entire intimate conversation in his vulnerable voice after all our companions went to sleep

Gale: when after all the game he approves of so many actions you take and is so quick to be your best friend/lover as you support him with his struggles with Mystra he triggers a Disapproves when you try to talk him out of ascending to godhood

Wyll: when after he declined to dance earlier in the game you catch him dancing about and he offers you to join, having a moonlit dance led by Wyll to an orchestra vers of the game’s main theme between just the two of you

Shadowheart: when I offered her to let her heart decide what was best with her parents and she chose to save them, shunning Shar’s teachings of Loss to excise Pain

Lae’zel: when after being saved from Orin in the Temple of Bhaal her demeanor shifted, using Faerûn customs to thank me and asking me “is something burdening you” whenever I talked to her in camp

Karlach: her anger over killing Gortash and how it fixes nothing for her, her pivot from I’ll never go back to Avernus to I want to live bc now she doesn’t have to go it alone 😭

What is incredible is the climax of each storyline of these characters hinges on your understanding of these characters and characters. If in 100hrs did you learn the people you travel with. And thats just the companions. Theres Halsin, Jaheira, and Minsc I was so entirely taken with. Then there’s NPC’s both allies and antagonists.

A lesson I learned from this game is make your antagonists HATE each other, this gives the players exploits that make the story thrilling. The antagonists in this game are incredible. Ketheric Thorm is my favorite of the chosen, when you ask him if he’s going to betray the other two chosen and he gives this resolved “Yes. Its going to happen. Everyone will die bc Myrkul is the only god who answered me. So I’ll be the best chosen he’s ever had”.

Orin and Gortash are excellent pinnacles of their deities and you’re given so many opportunities to interact with them beforehand letting you really get to know who you’re up against.

Raphael is also absolutely incredible. A devil in hell with the House of Hope who preys on the desperate offering contracts to be their savior while reaping all the benefits. Raphael, who watches your progress to let you get in over your head before striking with an incredibly juicy deal, and refusing to steal from him is an entire questline created from the player’s defiance and NOT from an NPC setting it up for you, AND his final fight has a disney villain song he sings. Holy shit is all the House of Hope stuff good.

But what really sets all the pieces of BG3 together is The Emperor. My roommate and I have had discussions for HOURS on his half truths and metered out information. When Ansur called me the Emperor’s thrall I FELT something. I felt played, betrayed by this character who reassured me they were my friend at all times bc I knew Ansur was RIGHT. I was being manipulated hardcore even if we had the same goals. This was NOT an even alliance. The emperor and his execution is one of the best characters I’ve ever seen in any video game.

And thats part of what BG3 does so well. Characters so rarely just spit out what they’re feeling. You have to listen and watch how they speak and interact with them as if they were a person. To me that’s the greatest triumph of BG3, I have to approach all the game’s characters like characters in a dnd session, like people. Its a really REALLY hard trick to pull.

Mechanically this game is a joy. The sound design is so chunky that all the actions and effects feel great to use. Respec’ing is easy and quick, and bc gear doesn’t upgrade you can respec and get back in the game instantly. It felt GOOD to deal 333 damage in the last round of combat with Huge Pal-adin Jones.

Btw, Elixir of the Colossus and the Growth effect on the giantslayer stack.

The fights are executed so well with multiple allies and enemies, casters in almost every combat, lots of uneven terrain and hazards, and not every combat is a “combat”. Many endgame scenarios caused me to sit back and say “oh? So we’re gonna cheat huh? I’ll show you cheating”.

Theres also bits I learned here I’ll be applying to dnd. The Blood of Lathander is a great example. Its a +3 weapon on a subpar weapon die, a +3 1d6 mace is just a more consistent +1 longsword. And its undead boons don’t do much if there’s no undead around. And its 6th lvl spell only gets cast once per long rest. Its a great weapon that makes the player feel overpowered against undead without breaking the game.

And thats just thoughts from running a custom character. I’m on Dark Urge and co op playthru and I love how the Durge playthru is just a cursed version of a custom character playthru.

I would be remiss to post my thoughts without mentioning The Bugs. This game has some major bugs that would have been a dealbreaker for me in a lesser game, but I’m willing to forgive BG3’s bugs bc of how much its trying to do. Some of them include:

Lae’zel T Posing on top of the altar she should be shackled to

The entire fireworks quest not working from guards always getting involved to fireball being thrown through two stories of wood floors and ceilings

The sound not working during the first final battle requiring a reload

Gale reprimanding me for taking a deal that had yet to be offered to me

Black boxes constantly flickering over Karlach’s campsite

There were more. And they did dampen my enjoyment of the later Act 3. However these are in the process of being fixed and with the game’s scale I’m willing to look past them. I will also say in its current state, 11/13/2023, the epilogue is far too short. Shadowheart didn’t even appear in mine. I’d at least like to know the fate of my main 6 party members, maybe more about the world after the ending. The ending is currently lacking for how well juiced the rest of the game is.

This is one of the best. Through and through. Its an experience thats left me changed, I truly feel I’ve gone on an adventure with my companions and we’ve gone through some intense trials and tribulations, faced down monsters and menaces, and played the big hero and saved the day. I cannot recommend the game enough, its a must play for anyone with capable hardware that can run it. Instead of a top two I now have a top three: Zelda Breath of the Wild, Bloodborne, and Baldur’s Gate 3.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3

[fefairys]

53 54 55 56 57 59 60 68 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 . lol i just want u to do all of them

ur crazy i love u so much <3 under the cut again

53. Alpha kids or Beta kids? grrrrr I LIKE THEM ALL!!!!! im gonna say alpha kids cuz theyre underrated and im an alpha kid lover, but i really love them all :/

54. Alpha trolls or Beta trolls? beta trolls.

55. Beforus or Alternia? beforus is really interesting to look at because its so nuanced, i think. alternia is fun too because violence and killing and murder and all the trauma that comes with that, but there's also the insidiousness of beforus being seen as a "utopia" but it actually sucks really bad also, just in more subtle ways. beforus, final answer.

56. Derse or Prospit? DERSE GANG BABEY!!!! I LIKE. PURBLE!!!!

57. The Felt or The Midnight Crew? oh man i really like all the funnie time powers of the felt. gonna go with them even tho i love the midnight crew dearly as well.

59. Red team or blue team? i think red team would be more fun to be on because of the drama of it all

60. Meat or candy? oouugugughhhhhh..... both. neither. certain aspects of each. throw it all in the garbage. reread it 10 times. AAAHHHH

68. already answered

70. Do you like your God Tier outfit? (maid of heart) yeah i think its alright. looks comfy 👍 a fun dress might be nice tho...

71. Ship headcanons? this is too vague im going to eat you.

72. Character headcanons? eating you again this is EVEN MORE VAGUE

73. Meteor trip headcanons? man i dunno. rose and vriska stumbling upon each other alone at one point and its really awkward at first because theyve never really talked and rose probably dislikes vriska from the things kanaya has said about her, but she is very intriguing isn't she? they get to talking, as light players do, and vriska thinks rose is super cool, maybe she even says "You know what, Lalonde? You're actually pretty alright." and rose... hmm... rose wants to keep her distance, karkat and kanaya have both told her so many accounts of vriska being just straight up fucking evil. rose would probably suspicious of her trying to befriend her. i don't know that's all i've got idk what happens next.

74. Earth C headcanons? big polycule.

75. already answered

76. Do you like kidswaps? Do you have a favorite? kidswaps i have found more intriguing than bloodswaps for some reason.. i really like dave lalonde and rose strider i think that is rife for some super interesting shit going on. but idk i dont really think about AUs like this very much!

77. Do you like speciesswaps? Do you have a favorite? again havent really thought about it. designing the kids as trolls is really fun, but haven't thought about the implications or anything!

78. Do you use quadrants IRL? yup. you know this, juice, my kismoirailsis lol... fun fact for anyone else reading this, me and juice started as kismesises, which tends to surprise people who know us irl because we seem like we're sooo in love (which we are) but yeah we are still kismesises under that :) real!

79. Do you like celebrating 4/13? hell fucking yeah brother its a high holy day for me

91. Favorite hemocaste? aw man idk. probably gold. cool powers and usually nerds, whats not to love!

92. Favorite typing quirk? typing quirks are so fun i like all of em!!! T3R3Z1'S 1S D3F1N1T3LY 4 F4VOR1T3 THOUGH!!!

93. Favorite MSPFA? i have never read one all the way through </3 vast error is pretty cool but i am NOT caught up on it at all. thats the only one i've gotten super far in :/ sowwy

94. What would your strife specibus be? hmmmm.... i've always liked the idea of umbrellakind theres so much u can do with that, that's why i gave it to my first fantroll ever! so yeah i'll go with that. umbrella.

95. already answered

96. What would your lusus be? i want it to be a kitty... idk tho my trollsona's lusus is dead i havent really thought about it!

97. What caste do you feel you’d belong to, regardless of your zodiac? definitely a low one, still. idk rust feels right!

98. What characters do you relate most to? well.

99. already answered

100. One popular HS opinion you agree with? uh idk davekat and rosemary good 👍 :)

#answer meme #homestuck #asks #Anonymous

[melon-official]

HI. for ramen water (if. u don't want to do all of these. understandable. i'm most curious about the bold ones)

[Tier 0] 6, 8, 29

[Tier 2] 8, 26

[Tier 3] 10, 11

[Tier 4] 2, 13, 23, 28

[Tier 5] 13, 16, 28

of course im going to do all of these what do u think i am? sane?

6. Living situation; where do they live? How did they end up there?

ramen water shares an apartment near the square with seven roommates. they all found each other through turf war or squid craigslist, and their place has the energy of that one tiktok of the eleven person brownstone house tour (wait, it's actually sixteen. oh my fucking god) and it's like an ecosystem in there. somehow their individual chaos balances each other's out perfectly

8. Favorite weapon class and why? 

chargers, probably! although the heavy splatling is his all-time fave and he's quite fond of the splatana wiper. his favorite "category" of weapon is really anything with a wave breaker; the only reasoning for his choice of weapons is a note in his earlier concepts that says "mains what i main". he's evolved a bit from that, but he's still a player-character guy at his core

29. What’s a situation that would make them cry? Do they cry easily?

this is an interesting one. i don't think ramen water's opposed to crying, but i don't think it comes quite as naturally to him as it would to most of my other characters. he's more the type to simmer, speak his mind, or outright get into a full-blown argument first, and crying is more of an afterthought for serious stuff when he actually manages to sit down and process for awhile

8. Any details about their appearance that they’ve put a lot of thought into?

all of it all the time!! his "standard" appearance/mimic is crafted to suit him and it's something he's done for so long that calling it to mind is second-nature. in that context, he's not keeping specific tabs on it—if he's messing around with smaller features he does have to keep them in mind for awhile or they'll change back. —that being said, mimicking top scars is something he's put long-term thought into + worked through a host of doubts about.

26. Do they care about “being fresh”? Have they ever cared and how did it show?

yeah, lol! but in the same way that he cares about being (his version of) put-together, or being good at turf. i think it's just something that's part of his life so he wants to be decent at it. (he also loves barazushi merch so the freshness rating is like a bonus collectors incentive to him)

10. Something they feel is extraordinary about themself?

rw absolutely revels in his self-created whimsy and his refusal to care about how others see him. he thrives in his own unknowability + while that in and of itself can cause him issues, he's also really comfortable in his own skin + knows what he's capable of!

11. Something other people see in them that they don’t really see?

in general, his persona's so carefully crafted (physically and socially) that there's really not an assumption someone could make about him that he isn't already aware he's implying :/ this isn't really an answer to the question, but i think the closest anyone gets to this kind of thing is isaiah, who can relate deeply to his relationship with the nss and why glory's argument with him tore such a rift in their friendship for awhile. that, and he'll occasionally mimic features of someone he's thinking about without realizing it, cuz his mimic ability is that ingrained in his life/thoughts. (and thats my justification for swapping hairstyles/gear in-game without going thru the whole character creation screen)

2. Have they ever intentionally hurt anyone? How?

that is a GOOD ASS QUESTION and almost for sure the answer is no, he hasn't. i think the closest he comes to this is being a little too defensive over misunderstandings or the time he was playing softball with his roommates and broke a window (one of the roommates was the softball)

13. What kind of morals do they follow and where did they learn them?

ramen water grew up in his moms' very kind and even more matter-of-fact care, which i haven't really put a lot of thought into besides that they're kind of like this and he loves them very much. so he's very dedicated to his passions + goals and lets smaller things slide off his back easily, but when something offends him, BOY is it an offense. on a similar note, one of the reasons he works so much is cuz he's determined to make it on his own and insists on paying his rent + expenses out of pocket, even though he wouldn't have been desperate to escape his living situation. he just wants to be a big kid. he definitely still visits home regularly

23. How do they deal with bad emotions? Do they have any tried-and-true coping mechanisms?

as his mom(s(??)) would say, "While we can use the label negative [...] it’s important to acknowledge that all emotions are completely normal to experience." i'd say he's better-equipped than most his age on handling stress + knowing how well he can navigate different situations... he's solid on terms of accepting his emotions + putting effort toward understanding them. howeverrrr, that doesn't make these situations easier to handle in the moment... he spends a lot of time in his own head trying to unpack that without reaching out for another opinion, working late or even just doing menial tasks instead of sitting down to feel the weight of those emotions. it's a coping mechanism as much as it is an avoidance tactic; if a situation's dire enough he's prone to thinking about it way more than he needs to, ruminating over all sorts of possible explanations and generally not giving himself very much credit at all.

28. Are they a person that gives or takes more? Is it intentional?

in small ways he takes more: there's a perpetual battle over snack stealing in his apartment and he tends to act in his own best interests whenever he gets the chance. on a larger scale, though, he unintentionally tries to do neither; he's not a giver or a taker if he can just stay out of the way

13. How hard is it to get to KNOW them? Are they an open book or does NOBODY really know them?

one HUNDRED percent in FULL seriousness there is not a soul on earth who Really Knows them, ramen water included. his identity and his personality and everything he knows about himself is like a piece of the puzzle, but he's been swapping and layering all kinds of masks for so long that he really doesn't know what he's like without one. maybe under all those layers there's nothing. glory's the one who knows him the best, with isaiah and his moms at a close second. or, at least, he's the most genuine with them. his roommates and his penpal lemon see him w/o a decent amount of filter; his coworkers probably see about the same amount (maybe even less if he's particularly tired or running on autopilot). he defaults to oversharing just enough to keep people from asking questions about him

16. How would they describe themself?

exactly the way they want people to see them, really. talking about himself to himself is a whole other animal and the answer varies wildly with his emotional state, but he tries not to be mean

28. Has their appearance or character changed over the years? How and why?

metawise? ramen water, like honeydew, is sort of a stand-alone character in this hero mode universe, but the nature of him as an avatar in my game means that he gets all sorts of extra connections and bits that don't quite make sense. there's no canon reason for him to have a penpal or be on a competitive team, etc etc etc, but his persona is funny enough that i keep him around all the time + bits of those experiences leak into his character. i think it's also worth noting here that he and honeydew are distantly related + i made this happen for the sole reason that i make them both run around on my switch

since u read this far i'm also handing u half a fun fact: he does have a real, legal name that's not ramen water. i have made this name known to zero people and im trying to keep it that way for as long as i can so everyone just has to call him ramen water forever

#thank u for ramen water hour :] #this octopus can have so many layers to him #ramen water #my ocs #thanks for the ask

[themaybejade]

a bit about me and my canon mates

this isn’t going to be comprehensive, just based on who and what i can remember. i have had art made for some of them, but not everyone.

roxy calmasis lalonde, one of the loves of my life. though, if you can believe it, we actually didnt get along very well at first!! she was very loud and over-the-top when we met, and i was resentful of how much of roses time she took up (though rose and i had been separated for a while by then). but she keyed in on the whole “dont overstimulate the autistic puppygirl” thing eventually, and we grew super close.

i think the thing i remember the most is her laugh. it was such a sweet sound, and after jane and i helped her overcome her drinking problem, we got to hear it all the time. she was cute, and silly, and fun, and she loved to sit or lean on me while jane combed my ears, telling nonsense stories and helping with my need for pressure stimming by pressing her fingers into my skin.

both of us were transfem switches, so we got along amazingly in the bedroom. she had a major hand fetish, and loved when i would wear the sheer lace gloves that jane got for her birthday.

i still need to get a good stand-alone drawing of jane. its been rough, trying to remember her - a lot of my earliest memories that i ever uncovered were blocked out again after an incident where someone who was supposedly my canon mate abandoned me years ago. they had reached out on tumblr, reminisced with me, and then just left out of the blue. and that really hurt.

its getting a bit easier now though. it was her idea to help roxy overcome her addiction, and she was the one who took care of me the most when i had breakdowns. i remember the first night after we entered the session, i had a huge freakout over things that had happened in the game, and went running. the first room i got to was janes, by coincidence, and she stayed up all night with me, just holding me and talking me through things. i think thats when i fell in love.

she was 100% a domme top, and she was amazing at it. she helped keep both roxy and i in line with firm rules and routine discipline, both inside and outside of the bedroom. she absolutely loved when i was feeling comfortable enough to wear flashier outfits, and couldnt keep her hands off me in a short skirt.

she was the lover, mama, caretaker, and friend that i needed more than almost anything. right up until i was captured by the empress, she did everything she could to take care of me, and also take care of roxy, and theres nothing in my timeline that i appreciate more than the love she showed me.

vriska fucking serket. my kismesis. the biggest pain in my ass ever, she was absolutely obsessed with riling me up whenever she got the chance, usually by calling me a lolicon for being attracted to her, because she was so small.

shes the reason that all of our friends survived their time on the meteor - she had been experimenting with her god tier powers, and accidentally managed to do the impossible: she radiated luck for a brief moment, and it saved everyone. every blow that fell was nonlethal, just barely missing vital spots or otherwise being survivable. the only one who actually died was kanaya, but she got better because she was a rainbow drinker.

she hated me a lot, because i was easily the most powerful player across all the sessions at that point, and i didnt really use that strength for anything. i was meek, quiet, shy, scared. and that made her furious. she would always push me to go farther, to move out of my comfort zones, and to hone my skills both as a witch of space and a first guardian.

conversely, i hated her because she was so dishonest with herself, and the people around her. she could never admit that she needed anything, shed just manufacture a way to get it. a lot of the time that included wanting to have sex: she would get me worked up until i was good and mad, and then taunt me to do something about it - at which point i would catch on and kick her ass. she got better over time as i started to train her to ask for things, but that never extended to the two of us having sex.

dave is the last of my pictured friends. he was albino and african-american, and was ridiculously obsessive about his hair. he would spend hours keeping it pressed and straightened and perfectly coiffed. he wouldnt say it out loud, but i knew it was because of his bro, and not wanting to look like him.

we had a brief fling together, but it didn’t last super long. he was very handsy and cuddly, nearly as touch-starved as i was. he was a “cool kid”, which is to say a massive fucking dork, and one of my best friends. we would just chill a lot, hanging out and eating shitty snacks and just chatting each others ears off. i dont remember much more than that, but he was a great guy.

rose and i were very on again, off again partners from a young age. honestly we were terrible for each other, but we both kept clinging desperately to what we had. she remained my moirail, even after our last falling out, but she was much happier and far better off with kanaya as a matesprit

she was the one who helped me discover that i was trans, and helped me come out to our other friends. it was her strength and courage and love that got me through the game itself, and i will never be able to repay her for all the things she did for me.

we had a very physical relationship, even before we met in person. we would talk on video a lot (our pesterchum client had that feature), and she introduced me to a lot of my kinks. we only had sex a few times throughout the game and shortly after reaching the meteor, but we separated not long after. we were only sort-of together when i killed myself, and i dont think she ever totally forgave me for it; after that, while we were still very deeply pale, we never went beyond cuddling and some gentle cheek or forehead kisses again.

egbert, of the three friends i went into the game with, is the one i can recall the least. a prankster, a jokester, a mischievous little imp; hung around with vriska and terezi a lot, and they were all horrible influences on each other :P

i found out through dave that she transitioned some time after i left. i never actually got to meet june; it wasnt much longer past that that the end came. but i hope she was as happy as i can remember being as a girl.

the last one i have any strong memories of is nepeta, and theyre unfortunately not the best memories. rose and i were on the outs - though still technically a couple if in name only; we hadnt really told anyone else we were going to break up - and she had just gotten let down pretty roughly by karkat. she got completely sloshed on faygo and came into my room on the meteor, while i was in the middle of a breakdown and not really thinking right. she talked for a bit about how nice it was to feel desired, when i had flirted with her not long after coming aboard the meteor, and we eventually ended up having pity sex.

equius found us the next morning and it turned into a big shitshow. he accused me of cheating on rose, of taking advantage of his moirail in a moment of crisis, and only stopped barely short of claiming that id raped her. almost everyone took his side because nepeta couldnt remember much, and since they wouldnt listen to me, i tried to get rose to help me out, but it wasnt working very well.

that afternoon, rose and i had our last big fight, when i told her to leave and not to come back. and then i killed myself. not that i stayed dead, of course; suicide like that is neither heroic nor just.

afterwards, the shock got the others to think a bit more rationally about the whole situation. things calmed down, and nepeta and i stayed good friends after she sobered up enough to tell equius off and apologize for everything. we probably would have been matesprits if i hadnt ended up falling so hard for jane and roxy, but we were still super close nonetheless.

[autisticaradiamegido]

do you have any fan trolls? trollsonas? do show

day 66

sssorta? i have a sburb au for my d&d characters, and i decided to make half of them trolls. i didnt bother changing their names to fit the typical homestuck naming conventions, but their backstories in this are necessarily pretty different than their og ones.

but that means yall dont need to have played d&d with me to understand what im talking about so! infodump under the cut

The main conceit of their adventure is that Victavyre and Davril (who originally were both played as eldritch knights for lost mines of phandilver/princes of the apocalypse at 2 separate tables) are the first two to enter the game, and their entries are Circumstantially Simultaneous. They both think they're playing a four-player session with their friends, but they end up on opposite sides of the same medium in the same way the hivebent trolls had a bifurcated session.

When Davril wakes up on Prospit, he encounters not only a sleeping Elis, but also Szelseis and Arastina. He thinks they are just weird reoccurring dream demons until he encounters Victavyre in the medium. They get their teams in touch with each other and gradually arrange to daisy-chain the two sessions together. Adventures ensue and all that.

Victavyre and Arastina (originally tieflings) are sisters in their og backstories, so in this au they are simply two grubs who were adopted by the same lusus (who i think is going to be some sort of two-headed creature, each head instinctively adopting a grub of its own).

Szelseis (originally a yuan-ti pureblood) has a giant snake lusus, and he HATES her. He keeps her around because he likes to start shit and it is useful to have a big snake around to eat your enemies when they come knocking. But he and his lusus have a very contentious and semi murderous relationship.

Hella (originally a water genasi) is a seadweller! no lusus shes just out in the ocean vibing and keeping it tight.

Davril (originally a halfling) is sort of bopped around various foster homes, and considers his most consistent family member to be his pet rat, Wink, who he eventually sprites and it is very cute but also Rat Enemies. Final boss is da giant rat who makes all OF da rules?? idk.

Esvele (originally a homebrew race similar to warforged, a human soul in a robot body) has kind of a combo of aradia and jades' robot situations? following the onset of a terminal illness, her mom (a talented scientist) built her a soulbot and she's been in there ever since. but robots don't die naturally so she ended up being passed down the line of guardianship from talented roboticist to talented roboticist throughout the 20th century, her chassis and power source being updated with whatever new technology as it came along. I like to think she eventually is able to do an aradia and come back god tiered somehow but idk, i sort of think its cool if she just stays a robot since thats how her og campaign went.

Asra (originally an aasimar) lives with her mom who is Very Important in her community (im thinking possibly the mayor of a small town) and asra has major gifted kid burnout about it.

Elis (ok hes not "originally" anything because i havent technically played him yet. hes a human wizard based on a random mini and set of dice i got in a blind bag last year and ive been trying to build him into something interesting ever since. im not even sure what kind of magic he DOES i just know hes some kind of wizard and im hoping developing his personality will inform what hes into. i mostly wanted an even number of humans and trolls for this and hes my most recent standby character ANYWAY) i dont have much for him hes just a lil guy. hes goth and eccentric and he likes wearing a lot of fucking layers.

#day 66 #year 3 #d&d #my ocs #homestuck #szelseis #arastina #victavyre #hella #davril #esvele #asra #elis

[dreamnotnapper]

ok, listen. i will gladly hivemind about many things, but one of the things i will never hivemind about is mcc

i am way too invested in that block game tournament to not have my own opinions, and trust me i have a Lot of opinions after sapnaps stream

(this will be very long, feel free to ignore. also, this is all typed up on mobile so i am so sorry)

the most prominent things is when he said he thinks he should be an s-tier, and when he said he thinks cyan is the best team

1. i dont think sapnap is an s-tier. god forbid i post this on twitter where everyone thinks he should be, but genuinely i dont. he is definitely the closest non s tier player to s tier, but i dont think hes s tier yet. i dont have stats on hand (bc im not a Nerd /j), but comparatively, sapnap isnt as good. hes one of the best pvpers and parkour players, yes. but hes pretty weak in build mart, rocket spleef and bingo, and hes decent at ace race and hole in the wall. a question we have to ask ourselves when ranking sapnap, is he at the same level as the other s-tiers? is he as good as pete, quig, fruit, techno, and dream? so far, all current s-tiers have: won at least 1 mcc, had 1st individual at least once and have 3000+ average coins. sapnap has only achieved the first. another thing is that sapnap isnt balance the way an s-tier is balanced. most notably, pete, fruit and quig are all balanced with weaker teams. pete and fruit are commonly teamed with hermits, when not with hermits pete is with b tiers or below, and quig is usually put on for fun teams (techno hasnt played in a canon mcc in a while so i cant rly say how hes balanced nowadays). sapnap isnt balanced this way, he isnt put on weaker teams. if anything, hes put on teams where someone else helps take up a leader role. mcc15, he'll most likely co-lead with dream, mcc14 he had punz, mcc13 he had dave krtzyy, (i dont remember his mcc12 team), mcc11 he had dream, etc.

so sapnap hasn't gotten 1st individual or 3000+ average coins, and scott doesnt balance him the way he balances the other s-tiers therefore i dont think sapnap is an s-tier. however, if he continues improving the way he is now, i believe he will be s-tier eventually. dont say that i'm too hard on him and that my requirements are too harsh because i'm a firm believer that once a player is s-tier, they dont leave (unless they just fuck up that bad, in multiple consecutive mccs)

2. i think sapnaps prediction of cyan being 1st is wrong. first of all, theres a reason why nearly the entire subreddit predicts cyan to be lower on the leaderboard, and its not because the subreddit is biased or playing an elaborate prank. i think both sapnap and dream really overestimate cyans abilities, especially with 2 new players. both dream and sapnap agreed that wisp is cracked, 5up is cracked, antfrost isnt bad, and scott is decent. the stats kind of do tell a different story though. again, i dont have the stats on hand, i only have what i remember from posts ive seen on the subreddit so take what i say here with a grain of salt. i dont think wisp is as cracked as dreamnap think he is. wisp has only played in (iirc, and if the subreddit was correct) 3 events, and his first 2 were very average with his mcc14 performance being the outlier. another thing is that they have two new players. that is not going to be easy. when you look at new players that joined after mcc began getting more competitive, youll see that they always underperform during their debut mcc. take illumina, for example. illumina is one of the best speedrunners in minecraft. he spent hours practicing and studying vods to optimize his performance. iirc, his first mcc he got 17th. that is already impressive, especially for a debut but his next placement was 5th. that is a huge improvement. 5up and antfrost are no illuminas, they dont have the same skill that he does. if illumina couldnt get top 15 during his debut, there is no way 5up and antfrost will during theirs like dream and sapnap predicted they would. the last thing i wanted to say about this is that 5up can practice all he wants on the practice server. he can get himself acquainted with ace race mechanics and the environment of battle box and parkour tag, but the practice server =/= the real event. no amount of time on the practice server can prepare new players to the atmosphere and pressure of the real event

thats my rant over, thank you if you stuck around. also really sorry if you stuck around, i doubt my thoughts were very coherent as its 4:30am. but yeah, i just wanted to get my thoughts out because sapnap and dream discussing mcc predictions made me very frustrated. especially since their predictions were all based on their initial thoughts on the teams and absolutely zero statistical analysis. absolute himbos, the two of them /lh

#if youre reading this have a good day/night #make sure you hydrate and take care of yourself #mcc #idk if this is the kind of thing people will read in the mcc tag but its about mcc so im tagging it as that #enjoy whatever tf this was mcc tag lurkers #good night im so tired #》 storms ahead

[noassallclass]

And while some thinks Liam is a great rp'er, I think he's more of an actor. Usually his rp is him monologuing while the others have to sit in silence for 10 minutes lol, and whenever he talks with other ppl it is usually to make a point about his own character. And I think that is why Laura and Marisha has such good chemistry,they talk with each other instead of ~at each other~ as it seems a lot of them do imo,they listen,ask questions and they give room for the convo to go wherever.

Yes I think Liam is a great actor and can be very engaging to watch, but I would never want to play a TTRPG with him because he takes up the spot light a lot and when he is in the spotlight he doesn't try to get other people involved in the rp, he is there for the drama of his own character which is fun in a show but not fun in a game. I mean he also tries to insert himself when other people are in the spotlight, though sometimes he knows when to keep quiet. I definitely don't think he's "one of the quiet ones"

Laura and Marisha are the best at being part of a TTRPG as they are very good at bringing others into their spaces and playing with others in the game. I think that's why their characters in both campaign always had chemistry because they just know how to have the characters interact so well with others. They also both take the time to understand other people's characters to make the rp even better, thats why the most praised relationships in the shown involve the two, I.e. The Empire Kids, The Brjeaus, and Chaos Crew

And this really shines through with Beaujester. They get each other fundamentally in ways no one else in the group does. They have taken the time and care to understand and appreciate each other characters and how to play off of each other that is organic and genuine. Its not that they just know about each others past trauma and sympathize with them. They understand how they reacted to the trauma, how that trauma is affecting them in the present. They actually see where in the healing process the other is at at the moment, either progressing and regressing.

That's whats so great about them, they have gotten to know each others characters as three dimensional people with their own complexities and contradictions, rather than a character to feed off of for their own story.

Which like most rpers do, like you don't have to understand the very minutia of all the other characters to be a good player or have a good time, its just that Laura and Marisha's rp skills are so god tier

But it is also why Beaujester outshines all the other ships for me. I just don't think any of the other characters have the same deep connection and understanding in regards to the other characters.

Like there is a version of Jester inside each players head, and just seeing how people like Fjord and Caleb interact with and talk about Jester makes it seem like their idea of who Jester is does not line up with the reality of Jester as a person if that makes sense?

Like I think the 2 admire Jester greatly, I just don't think its the real authentic Jester that they love, just a version of her in their heads. I really have seen no examples of Fjord thinking Jester is more than a cooky tiefling girl with a big imagination and likes to fib (but can also be sad sometimes)

Like them babying Jester through the vakodo/travelercon arc (or anytime they talked to her about the traveler) was cringe. Beau was the only one who was able to voice her actual opinion and also push back against Jester's bad plans. Everyone else was too afraid to say something mean and huwt jestew's feewings.

I think the only pairings/relationships that could work almost as well as beaujester would be Beau of Jester with an NPC because Matt, as the DM, also has a very good understanding of each person's character and would know how to make a compelling romance with that

#critrole critical #critical role meta #beaujester #anti beauyasha #anti fjorester #anti widojest

[crypticdata]

Full commentary is here bois

Ok, first. That intro? Literally made me feel like i was watching WrestleMania ngl lmao. (Also Karl just full on simping for Dream like holy shit this guy was 5 seconds away from offering sacrifices to the green man). Also what were those arena names???

Round 1:

I laughed at them just batting each other with fishing poles for a full minute ngl. Dream went straight aggressive and it wasn't a good move considering it was Techno's home field. Pig lord brought it back real fast but Dream did a good with that bow shot knockback to get him off his trail (it just didn't work lmao)

Round 2:

Both of them don't really attack for a few seconds but thats pretty much a staple of 1.16 pvp. Techno tries the crossbow knockback strat but we can clearly see Manhunt Dream just fuckin rise up with his normal aggressive af play style. Like damn, dude had no mercy.

Round 3:

Fishing 2: electric boogaloo lmao. Techno was really playing it safe this round, backing up and letting Dream come to him. Dream, like the psychopath we all know and love, just fucking rushed Techno. Strat seemed to work for a while before Mr. Blade straight up started murdering Dream. Like, holy shit it was so close Techno won by one (1) heart. I actually screamed at end of this and scared my cat lol.

Round 4:

Techno rolling a 3 on intimidation with that log stripping lmao. Dream really tried to play it safe like the Pig man last round but Techno wouldn't give up! Man kept chasing him until he was cornered. The pressure was there and both of them were fairly aggressive this round. Even with the home field disadvantage Techno fucking owned Dream, Poggers dude.

Round 5:

PSYCHOPATH DREAM MAKES A FUCKING COMEBACK HOLY SHIT??? Dude, if Dream was anymore aggressive he would be my mom with a Karen in a parking lot. Techno really tried to get back but the green just wasn't having it. No chance, A pig lead right into the slaughter hot damn.

Round 6:

Psychopath Dream still going strong with that utter obliteration wtf. Only 2 hearts lost??? This man. Techno really tried to go more aggressive but Dream was shielding like a boss dude. Those axe crits probably felt like a punch to the face to the Potato farmer. It was over so fast too. Might've been the fastest round yet.

Round 7:

Fishing strats honestly saved Techno here. That knockback really threw off Dreams groove and Techno just rushed it when he was distracted.That ending was still pretty close tho. Overall stellar match tho!

Round 8:

Techno had a strong lead that round, those crossbow shots definitely did some damage. But Dreams dodge moves and axe crit combo just gave him the comeback of the century holy fuck. i honestly thought Techno had that. Pog to Dream man

Round 9:

You could really feel the pressure this round. If Techno won this, he literally could not lose. You could tell both parties were being extremely careful. Techno fell back everytime he got hit and they fished each other for a pretty long time. Both of them was reluctant to attack first but Techno went full ham the moment both of them started attacking each other like godamn, man was clicking the shit outta his mouse. He switched to full aggressive the moment he was hit. Dream had it for a second but eventually Techno was just too aggressive ig.

Round 10:

THE FINAL ROUND! THE AMOUNT OF SWEATING I DID LIKE IM NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO'S PVPING WTF. Techno back at it again with the log stripping intimidation lol. Dream really went full manhunt mode on this round tbh, hitting Techno and then using the pillars to dodge and weave and try and get the Pig man's weak spot. But he was really screwed when they fully battled it out. Techno just got way too many hits in for Dream to still play as aggressively as he did. It could've worked, but it didn't this time and Techno got the killing blow.

Overall, the match was pretty neck and neck until the very end imo. It was devastating to watch as a Dream stan but i respect Techno for beating him in 1.16. Man deserves the crown he wears.

Also my favorite qoutes because honestly the commentary was 10/10:

"What are you gonna do if you end up losing?" "Im gonna cry"

"You're stealing Karl away from me!"

"I CAN'T GET 10-0ED NOW GUYS!"

"you're gonna drop that crown of yours ok king?" (Karl you fucking simp omg)

"He's been practicing 3 hours a day!" "They made hours that small?"

"How much health did he have?" "Uh- full, don't even worry about it" "BS"

"the most riveting gameplay in the world: fishing!"

"I DIDN'T GO TO FEDEX THIS MORNING TO GET THIS SHIRT FOR NOTHING!"

"I can only get 8-2ed now! POOOG!"

"Dreams one of the best players in the world, where is this coming from??" "Im not half bad myself" "l-l mean i can tell!"

"THATS MY DREAM!!"

"how much health was he on?" "He had 1 heart" "bruhhhhhh"

"It's now tied up again" "tied is good!" "I like ties"

"i just praised jesus and I'm not even a christian thats how happy i am"

"Give Techno a pep talk, let him know we're ready" "He doesn't need it but I'll do it anyway" (Chris out here being the hardest Techno stan)

"its only a 100 grand, don't be too sad" "Thank you- thank you Chandler"

"Techno is currently in the lead, can Dream tie it up again?" "Nooo, he can't"

"HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING (x3)"

"i think i broke my mic stand"

"10s of 1000s of Dream stans are watching from across the world" "Yes we are!" (Karl jfc control your simpness lmao)

"KARLS SUCH A TIER 3 SIMP OH MY GOD" (You said it Chris)

"If he wins this, it's atleast a tie for him. I don't want him to be that happy, i want you to be that happy"

"im so nervous im about to poop my pants"

"I used the rod I just had to remember Calvin's teachins"

"All i have to do is not get owned by Dream's epic axe crits"

"If you win the next one, 100 grand is being deposited into your bank account" "gasps that's atleast 12 pizzas!"

"Lets let the axes speak for theirselves"

"TECHNOBLADE YOU ANIMAL"

"lets be honest i thought i was gonna lose not gonna lie" (Techno out here with that low self-esteem)

"No beef" "I- no, i hate Techno, i hate him so much" "OH I HATE THAT GUY"

#dreamwastaken #technoblade #1v1 #mrbeast #i had to re watch the video 3 times to make this lmao

[astro-break]

Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)

Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with

Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)

I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute

Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing

so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it

Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.

Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap

I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize

I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!

If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets

OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds

Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character

I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them

OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work

Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.

Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.

The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol

(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)

Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me

sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)

But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.

I really love MTC guys

Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)

the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining

Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that

kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)

FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.

Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.

the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.

Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.

Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide

Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao

I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here

The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice

I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.

Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.

:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers #hypmic spoilers #my post

[jmojellybae]

Is choices vip worth it?

Sigh ok. I’m going to break it down the best way I can.

For new players, or for players that haven't read many of the books on Choices, it is absolutely worth it. Here’s why:

When you first purchase VIP, you are awarded 180 diamonds for free. That’s a pretty decent amount. But with VIP, you also get unlimited keys, an increase in diamonds when you finish a chapter (up to 5 instead of 3), 10 daily diamonds PLUS the 5 daily diamonds that have been there from the start.

So with unlimited keys, that makes diamond mining SO MUCH EASIER AND FASTER. You can just tap through a book you don’t at all about. each choices book averages about 16-20 chapters. So with every book you diamond mine, you can end up with about 80-100 diamonds! (because of the diamond boost from VIP) And if you haven't read My Two First Loves yet? THATS 60+ CHAPTERS OF DIAMONDS! (you're looking at about 335 diamonds and counting)

with the daily diamonds, you can now earn up to 15 instead of 5. Huge difference. If you dedicate yourself to diamond mining one book a day, You can end up with 95-115 diamonds a day in TOTAL.

Now, let’s get on to the books. I’m going to break down the books I FINSIHED.

With Every Heartbeat: (Single customizable LI) This book ALONE should get you to buy VIP. This book without a doubt is GOD TIER. It’s one of the best stories PB has put out. It made me feel so many emotions and I ended up caring about EACH character DEEPLY. All diamond scenes are just for you to spend time with the LI or with your friends. There are diamond outfits but the story doesn’t make you feel like you NEED to buy them. 10/10

Hot Couture: (4 LI’s 2 Male, one is customizable, and 2 Female) Now I did not expect to like this book as much as I did. It’s a FUN book! It can be costly though. You play as a fashion designer and the game does reward you with paying to be better There are diamond choices for specific fashion choices and business decisions as well as diamond choices to hang out with your LI. BUT at the end of the book, you have a chance to buy all of the diamond fashion options you missed out on THAT IS ACTUALLY CHEAPER than if you bought them individually throughout the story. As I stated, there are 2 female LI’s BUT only one actually appears throughout the story a lot, the other doesn’t, and you don't get a chance to have a 30 diamond scene with her, which is a bummer, but it’s does apply to the plot, so I let it slide. 8/10

A Very Scandalous Proposal: (Single customizable LI) Honestly disappointing. The LI was very hard to like. I did like the plot overall but it DOES revolve around diamond choices. It’s one of those books where you have to spend diamonds to find all the clues in order for you to feel like you achieved anything. it uses a lot of reused faces, so it makes it hard to care about any of the characters. If you like a lot of lore and backstory you would probably enjoy this book more than I did, if don’t mind them being behind a paywall 5/10

I hope this helps anon. 

#ask #anon

[jrpneblog]

Memories, what memories.

Fifty years ago on Saturday I experienced my greatest high watching our famous club. It took place in London on a Beautiful Spring day by the banks of the Thames. More of that later as first we must concentrate on the matters in hand with an excellent win at Coventry last Saturday and the visit of play-off achievers, Barnsley, to Deepdale on Saturday for our final home game of the season. Please God let this be the last home game ever played at Deepdale when no fans will be there to cheer the boys on.

Last Saturday we mathematically made ourselves safe from relegation and by the time Monday had come I was trying to work out if we could make the top half of the league or not if results went our way. North End beat and in form Sky Blues by one goal to nil scored by Captain Alan Browne and I think on the day North End deserved the victory. Coventry play a lovely brand of football and it is a credit to Mark Robins what he has done for them given the almost impossible circumstances surrounding the club. North End won with a stonewall penalty midway through the second half nicely put away by Browne. To be fair we should have had another but thats another story. The win left North End on fifty five points with two games to go and the real fear after the Luton defeat at home had dissipated.

On Saturday we face Barnsley at Deepdale in our final home game of the season. It has been so tough watching the boys on a computer and hopefully this will be the last time. The Tykes have done an excellent job in finishing in the top six and they have proved that money isn't everything in the Championship and their achievement should really give North End some inspiration for the next campaign. This is one of those game that you just cant judge who will do what. Will Frankie try a couple of fringe players with next season in mind or will he stick with his tried and trusted system and try to make his case to get the job full time stronger. With Barnsley you wonder will they try and keep going for fourth place to get the second semi final leg at home of will they rest one or two of the key players for the big play off games that lie ahead. I think it will either be a very boring 0-0 draw or might be a real full bloodied encounter. Lets hope its the latter.

And finally this week:-   Indulge me as I take a personal trip down Memory Lane and to an event which now seems a lifetime away. The date is Saturday 1st May 1971 and the venue is Craven Cottage, home of Fulham Football Club, in West London. The game is Fulham v Preston North End and with the home side already promoted the Football league have brought the Third Division trophy to the game to present to Fulham after they have duly won the encounter. For Alan Ball`s Preston there is a chance of automatic promotion as North End sit three points clear of their only rivals, Halifax, with just two games to play (2 points for a win in those days). The equation is quite simple for Preston - win the game and we are promoted back to the second tier at the first attempt after being relegated 12 months earlier by Blackpool at Deepdale. I cried that night as a nine year old and thought the world had ended after my beloved North End had dropped into the third division for the first time ever. Just ten years after Sir Tom had retired and we were down with the also rans. The day started around 5.30am as I excitedly scurried about bursting with anticipation and anxiously asking my Dad was it time to set off for the coach. Fishwicks ran two coaches to the game from Leyland and they were to depart at 7am prompt with the long journey to London ahead of us.Finally the clock ticked round to 6.40 and we set off on the 10 minute walk to Fishwicks to catch the coach that would take us to our destination. London seemed like the other side of the world to me and as we passed Charnock Richard I thought that we must be getting close as we had been on the road for ages. My Dad and my Uncle chatted to the others on the bus as I just looked out of the window hoping to spot a blue motorway sign saying London. We stopped at Keele for half an hour and my excitement grew as there were hundreds of other North End fans on the same pilgrimage. Off we go with the next stop being Watford Gap. Even more North End fans who were singing and shouting and even though we were 90 miles from Fulham the atmosphere was starting to build. Finally I saw a sign “London 44”, we were getting nearer as Lunchtime approached and we hit the North Circular Road to take us towards Hammersmith. It must have taken us half an hour in those days to do the mile and a half from Hammersmith to Craven Cottage as the traffic was horrendous.At last we are there and are met with a buzzing around this famous old ground the likes of which I had never heard before. The crowd was officially recorded at 25,774 but it seemed almost like Wembley on Cup Final day with the chaos and noise around the ground. The queues to get in were massive but my Uncle Charlie could get where water couldn`t get (God rest his soul). Suddenly he burst out - “stay there, Stan” (to my Dad), I will be back in a few minutes. Incredibly he was back in no time with three stand tickets for the Stevenage Road stand right in the middle of the Fulham fans. Most of the North End fans were on the open Putney End but there were pockets of Blue and White all over the place. We are in and as the clock ticks round the teams run out separately at 2.55 with North End playing in Red.The Teams are announced, Fulham first then North End …. Kelly Ross McNab Bird Hawkins Spavin Heppolette Ham Lloyd Spark and Clark, with Dave Wilson as sub. John Gow from Swansea is referee and the game kicks off to a thunderous roar as North End are cheered by about 5,000 fans.The game is cagey but quite open and North End are holding their own kicking towards the Hammersmith End in the first half. Twenty two minutes gone and North End get a corner on the right hand side. Clive Clark jogs over and takes an in-swinger which Norrie Lloyd flicks on to Ricky Heppolette who gives North End the lead with a diving header into the Fulham net. The Putney end goes mad and all round the ground the satellite groups of North End fans are dancing with delight. Fulham counter quickly but Bird and Hawkins see them off like two rocks in the middle of the North End defence. Half time comes and goes as the Preston fans start daring to dream, can we do it against the odds at the home of the league leaders. North End are on the back foot in the second half but only really have one scary moment as Fulham throw everything forward. Five minutes to go, four, three, two, one, “TIMES UP” my Dad announces to the world as half the stand give him a look of disgust. How long will Mr Gow add on as North Ends slender lead remains intact? All eyes on the man in black as the whistle goes to his mouth Yeeessss…….ah No, wait, the whistle hasn`t blown and Fulham have the ball. Suddenly, from nowhere, the long shrill blow of the three whistles and we`ve done it - yes we`ve done it, Preston are back. Alan Ball runs on to the pitch and kisses the turf as the Championship Trophy quickly disappears from out of the stand. The Putney End is going berserk and me and my Dad and my Uncle are hugging each other amid a crowd of home supporters looking slightly mystified as to why the plan has not worked out. The North End players hug and congratulate but its not euphoria just a job done by the late great Alan Ball and his boys. We come down the steps to the stand entrance and our coach is the first one we see among about 60 others the length of Stevenage Road.Its 5.50 before we move an inch but nobody seems to care as the singing goes on and on until we finally make our way back up the M1. By the time we reach Coventry it is well past 8pm but the coach is thirsty and its an ale stop for the adults and pop and crisps for the ten or so kids on the bus who are entertained by a jovial coach driver. Finally we get back to Leyland, it`s Midnight but nobody seems to care as the streets echo to the sound of “Preston, Preston” and the road back to the second division is finally complete. Without actually trying to count them I have probably seen over 2,000 North End games since then but I doubt anything will ever surpass that day in West London and if it was ever in doubt before where my footballing loyalties would lie I knew from that day that me and Preston North End would be together for a lifetime.

.

JR`s HIGH FIVES                              

West Ham to beat Burnley 6/5                        

A £5 Stake returns £11.00 on bet365                

SEASONS STATS                              

Returns  £209.75    Stake £170.00    percentage profit  + 23.4%                       

Predictions 34   won 19   lost 15

[gay-robot]

heres the entire plot of homestuck explained mostly

the story takes place over 4 (technically 5 counting the end) alternate universes, and starts in the 3rd one, but it makes more sense if we start from the beginning chronologically.

a race of humanoids called trolls who are basically just humans with grey skin, orange horns, multicolored blood, and varying degrees of psychic powers exist on a planet called beforus. things are relatively uneventful, until the abdicated heiress to an empire, meenah, discovers The Game(tm) on the moon.

the game, otherwise known as sburb (or sgrub to the trolls) exists to propagate the universe; a successful session of it creates a new universe entirely. it involves a server player manipulating the real environment of a client player to bring them into a type of pocket dimension called the medium aka the session aka the incipisphere whatever, point is, you get there. the client can then, from that dimension, host the server of another client and bring them into the same session, and so on; the trolls sessions have 12 players, and human sessions have 4. each player has their own ‘land’, a small planet vaguely themed around them with a unique poorly defined quest, but that doesnt come up too much so dont worry about it immediately. each player also has a unique mythological role consisting of a class and an aspect; there are 12 of each for a total of 144 possible combinations, for instance john egbert is the heir of breath. this not only defines their abilities, but also their personality and role in the story.

each session has a few constants: a ‘planet’ in the center called skaia, which is a bright ball of just sky, with clouds that show you visions of the future; at the center of it is the battlefield, a chessboard which gets bigger and more complicated as things go on. a session will also always contain prospit, a yellow planet that orbits close to skaia, and a purple planet called derse that orbits far away from it. in a game session, prospit and derse are at war, with derse seeking to destroy skaia and the battlefield by sending an asteroid belt into it; coincidentally, this also destroys the home planet of the players, as many asteroids are teleported into reality. in the sessions weve seen so far these asteroids also are used to paradoxically send baby versions of the players and their ancestors back in time but that isnt too important right now. each player has an alternate self called a dream self, which exists on one of the two planets (but doesnt have any bearing on their morality or allegiance, just personality). dream selves, along with the session itself, always exist alongside the normal universe before the game even begins, and under certain conditions your normal self will, when asleep, awake as your dream self and vice versa. in addition, a player who dies can be revived, but only as their dream self.

back to the plot; the beforus trolls aren’t very good at the game; in fact, they fail and spend a few years not being able to do anything until they discover a way to reset both their game and the universe itself, which will retroactively swap them with their ancestors as players and do some other things as well. they should logically not even exist anymore, but due to some shenanigans that happen in the 2nd universe, they exist as ghosts in a sort of afterlife formed by dreaming players whose dream selves are dead or missing. overall, only two of these 12 trolls are actually important to the plot, meenah and aranea.

this brings us to the second universe; beforus is now called alternia, and it is a considerably more violent and horrific place, with troll society being murderous as pretty much a standard. as you can imagine literally everyone is traumatized by this. the first 12 trolls to get introduced in the comic come from this timeline, and include funny lawyer girl terezi. there’s also a considerable amount of infighting, most of which is vriskas fault. she comes up later.

the 2nd troll session is considerably more successful than the 1st, and finishes the game creating a universe, though this new universe contains a “small” defect due to negligence on the part of the players. before the trolls can enter their new universe, however, they are unexpectedly attacked by an angry teleporting chess dog with wings and a katana, who murders all their dream selves and blows up prospit and derse. the trolls go into hiding on a meteor, where they learn that this strange murderous furry came from a session inside their new universe. they elect to constantly harass the players of this session. also around the time of furrymans rampage, a girl named feferi convinces some eldritch creatures to create the aforementioned afterlife, while another girl named aradia who was briefly a robot comes back to life as a god tier and freezes furrydude in place. a god tier player is someone who has died in a particular way and as a result been revived with conditional immortality (if they die they are immediately revived UNLESS their death was either heroic, or just ie they were a piece of shit), powers based on their class and aspect, and a new outfit also based on their class and aspect. meenah in the first universe did this, as did vriska in the 2nd, though only because aradia beat the shit out of her for being awful. speaking of which she murders her childhood friend who she has abused and tormented for years because thats just how vriska is.

this brings us to the start of homestuck, the comic. there are four kids at the moment: john egbert, an overall lovable dumbass who is the first to enter, rose lalonde, a goth lesbian obsessed with wizards and psychology, dave strider, funny sunglasses memelord and horrifically abused swordsman, and jade harley, the prophetic scientist heiress of an old colonialist who was raised by a magic dog. through some difficulties they enter their session, and things IMMEDIATELY start going wrong. they just barely get everyone into the session before earth is ruined, and before that can even happen, the aforementioned murder furry is created when a bureaucrat named jack noir kills the black queen and steals her magic ring. a different jack noir was also present in the troll session, this one became a mobster named spades slick. (yes, that stupid fucking intermission was actually important). this happened because like the players, several ingame npcs also are brought to the dying planet, after it gets fucked by rocks. these include, on earth, WV aka the mayor, PM who will be important later, and two other jackasses who arent important. PM is cool because shes a mailman who fights through the fucking legions of hell to deliver a package to john and then later receives a copy of jack noirs magic ring and proceeds to chase him across the void for 3 years and finally beats the shit out of him. love her. anyway;

like the 1st universe, the kids are informed by a creepy man who talks in white text on a white background like a fucking tool that they cant succeed and will have to reset their session, though with coordination from the trolls, they have a plan to survive it. they also plan to use a very large bomb created as part of that defect i mentioned before to blow up something called the green sun, which is where jack noirs magic furry powers come from. this will also coincidentally kill spooky white man who has a cueball for a head and release an eldritch horror known as lord english into the timeline. meanwhile in the troll session, a clown troll named gamzee is driven into a rage by a video of the insane clown posse sent to him by dave and murders several of the less relevant characters because hes a piece of shit. also meanwhile a troll named eridan ALSO kills some people including someone named kanaya who is a lesbian vampire with a chainsaw who eventually marries rose. kanaya then cuts eridan in half because she Is Too Fucking Angry To Die. love her. ALSO ALSO meanwhile vriska is about to fly off and expose their hiding place to jack noir, but is killed by her childhood friend terezi. she dies for good because its considered a just death. anyway back in the kid session, things go awry and its revealed that white bread tricked them, as the bomb actually CREATES the green sun retroactively. also, because of the properties of the green sun and where the bomb was set off, the two kids who set off the bomb, dave and rose, meet up with the remaining trolls outside of the kid session. meanwhile jade fucking dies to a bomb made of shaving cream but is revived as a god tier and for unrelated reasons also fused with her magical dog. dave and rose also ascend to god tier as they died when a massive fucking sun spawned on top of them. john was already god tier due to some shenanigans by vriska earlier. basically everyone has their signature look now.

jade uses her new god tier abilities to shrink down every planet in their session including the battlefield, before bringing herself, john, and an alternate timeline dave onto a battleship and literally fucking launching it through the fourth wall into Poorly Defined Author Space which is technically on the moon of alternia. andrew hussie is here. as they leave the session before its reset, they stay alive, same with rose and dave. also meanwhile with rose and dave, one of the surviving trolls, sollux, uses his psychic powers to launch the meteor towards the newly reset session at relativistic speeds (all sessions TECHNICALLY exist in the same dimension? its weird), while jade does the same with her battleship.

thus begins the 4th timeline/universe. shit only gets stupider from here, consider taking a short break.

ok, ready?

the new universe is shown off, with the new kids; jane crocker, an average young woman who stands to inherit the betty crocker company which in this timeline is like amazon (shes an alternate version of johns grandmother); roxy lalonde, who is literally the best character in homestuck (alt. rose’s mom); jake english, a dumbass who lives on a deserted island, speaks in horribly inaccurate british slang and dual wields pistols (alt. jade’s grandfather); and dirk strider, a canonically gay nerd with pointy anime sunglasses and a sword who builds robots and canonically watches mlp so like fucking make of that what you will (alt. dave’s abusive brother). their entry into their session is different; their session is called a void session, and is inherently unwinnable because of retroactive time bullshit, and for related reasons, the meteors that would destroy earth are never sent. you may ask “well how did the kids get there then?” to which the answer is when the reset happened the destination of the kids guardians was switched to be this new session. doesn’t that mean the guardians never existed, you say? stop thinking.

anyway janes entry into the session coincedes with betty crocker revealing herself to be a hostile alien empress who slowly takes over the earth with the help of the insane clown posse and guy fieri. she’s also the alternate version of meenah, who in the alternia timeline was the empress and also kind of a horrible person. shes here because of nonsense involving lord english, who she works for but hates. in fact, theres an interesting side effect to this; dirk and roxy actually live 400 years in the future from jane and jake, from after betty crocker aka the condesce killed everyone and flooded the planet. they still enter the same session, through dirk doing some stupid shit and controlling both his dream self and his actual self at the same time and moving everyone around.

there’s a long period of absolutely nothing happening in the 4th session while the trolls and kids travel to it, and during this were introduced to two characters; calliope and caliborn. theyre brother and sister, and are part of another race called cherubs who look like green skeletons and which share a body with each other and fight for control of it. caliborn is the fucking worst and actually becomes lord english eventually, while calliope is a nice down to earth person who makes fan characters and cosplays a troll. they also technically exist in a... 5th, separate universe, on a dead earth?? which is probably the future earth from the ending? i dunno it makes no fucking sense.

anyway calliope dies due to some plotting but death means fucking nothing in this story so shes off hidden in the afterlife. the meteor group and the battleship group pass through this afterlife like physically several times during their journey through the void and meet many of the dead trolls, including dead vriska, meenah, and aranea, who come up with a plan to lure lord english, who is currently destroying reality and murdering ghosts, to a place where they can hit him with a magic ghost weapon. they find it, and john touches it out of curiosity, whereupon he gains weird powers that let him travel ANYWHERE in canon at any time, though he cant really control it. during his random zaps around he beats the shit out of caliborn which is cool and good. partway through, aranea leaves and uses a magic ring to come back to life JUST as the two groups arrive at the new session and the 4 new kids ascend to god tier, at which point everything goes wrong all at once.

through a contrived series of events, jade and jane are mind controlled by the condesce, and a long fight scene ensues where jake unleashes his true power and then dies, aranea tries to usurp the condesce but fails miserably, and basically fucking everyone but john and roxy die horribly, planets are smashed into each other, the session is falling apart due to interference from caliborn who has limited control over the narrative for some reason; its not good.

fortunately, john in theory has the ability to fix this by retconning events in a particular way. he has no idea how to though, until a dying terezi headbutts him, writes instructions on a blindfold in her own blood, and then dies, falling into a chalk outline of her own corpse she drew immediately beforehand because shes fucking metal. john also, during this time, uses his new powers to move his planet out of the session into a white void apparently outside everything. as a consequence of this, in an alternate timeline his planet explodes and roxy dies, though in THIS weird space, he and roxy are still alive.

following terezis instructions, john changes some subtle things in the past, before ultimately preventing her from killing vriska by knocking vriska out. this, surprisingly, actually has a positive effect; vriska has powerful mind control abilities that allow her to put jane and jade to sleep upon arrival and prevent the bad timeline from happening, but she also mellows out a bit and keeps everyone from losing their minds during the journey, while also forming a plan to fight the condesce that works out pretty well. the person she murdered gets revived as well, though she still treats him like shit so im not giving her points for that.

john and roxy arrive from the bad timeline with johns planet, and roxy uses the magic ring to bring the dead calliope back to life. also around this time calliope meets an alternate version of herself who killed caliborn in her timeline and is spooky and mysterious and super fucking powerful and will be able to help kill lord english, so thats cool.

some nice, genuine heart to hearts happen between the characters as they get set up for the final battle, at which point it happens, in a 20 minute flash. the condesce gets defeated, lord english's influence is cut out from the session, and the new universe is created; its actually a pretty happy ending.

and THAT is the end of homestuck.

#homestuck