Tumgik
#and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim
lilowoof · 21 days
Text
OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D
I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!
Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!
I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)
#don't get me wrong: most of the time I adore just being in my own head and alone!#but when I wanna talk to someone about stuff that is happening.....good or bad. and having no one#THAT's when it hurts the most#doesnt help that this year was kinda just like yay more ppl to hang with- oh they either dropped me as a friend#or prefer to hang with others who are better players (for salmon at least). AH WELL#I really want to go back to the dating apps just so I can TRY to meet ppl even if it doesnt work. AND MEETUP TOO I gotta get on that#tho I do need to reach out to ppl privately to play fish game with since I tend to just wait for ppl to come to me and#thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me#and of course chatting with ppl in servers helps too but it sucks when they arent avail or what I say gets ignored :')#BUT YE. while I AM sad over all of this.... I do have the power to make the change so hopefully the executive dysfunction allows for it#I want to think about how much I wanna live#not about how much I want to fade away and die. ya need some good ppl in life and since I dont have that in the fam. I need the friends :D#actually all of this stemmed from the realization I had on priv that I basically have no family to lean on. like. at all. no connection#or trust#and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim#hahaha I kinda feel better typing this all out! that was the goal after all
1 note · View note
flailingkittylover · 4 years
Note
You're really as full of shit right now as the guy who wrote 105. Sasha was just careful not to shoot civilians, the fact that Gabi is here is all one big fucking coincidence on which this disloyal sack of crap has been too reliant on. Gabi is not essential and you know it. Others, REINER anyone?, better filled that part that she supposedly fills. And it still doesn't justify us losing Sasha any more than losing Ymir after years of speculation on her story. It's all a cheat, pal.
For some reason I had thought this was three different people, but I forgot that asks are limited in their words. So for that sake, I’ll just snip your previous responses then answer each one.
A.
Maybe Gabi is essential, maybe she isn’t. I’m not an arbiter of the manga–thank goodness for that– but it would be a bad decision on Isayama’s part to just kill her off as his whole message is “The Children are the Future.” But I personally believe she is essential so we disagree is all. :)
And Reiner is obviously suited for another role, perhaps the Helos theory which has been gaining traction. I’d much prefer him stay true to his roots on trying to save the world and be the face of the current generation while Gabi will be the upcoming one to keep up the legacy of how war has harmed them and made them harm others.
Ymir could have had a far better send off I admit but it is far from a cheat, simply a decision which people didn’t like which comes from storytelling. Some stories come with a harsh, quick end. 
B. 
Tumblr media
‘Non, if you’re going to convince me, contradicting yourself isn’t one way to go about it. You are here for my bullshit because you would not message me back and make these long comments in the first place. Just like I wouldn’t have responded if I wasn’t interested in some way. 
And hell yeah this author and manga are very much worth the investment of time and trouble I love this manga LOL. You’re free to do as you will and I’m not prodding or trying to stop you whatsoever, just making a counter-point as again, you came to me.
And all characters will never be fully exploited in a story. If they did, it would just be one filler Naruto episode after another and create too many plot-holes and make the manga so unbearably boring. Mystery is what brought many readers here–it’s what personally brought me back to SNK too– so I’m not surprised he continues to keep that up.
C.
Tumblr media
Gabi is the most toxic because the fandom has made her the most toxic character. Her actions are worthy of contempt but so is almost every other character’s actions at this point. 
Her attitude during the Marley arc and Isayama’s month-long updates did not help her evolution either as we have reached these latest chapters. SOME reasons to dislike her are valid, sure, but for the mass of hate she gets? Even for just being present in a chapter? Absolutely not.
To wish death on a child too, especially one who was raised in a hostile environment and brainwashed, is pretty cruel of you too to be honest. She clearly beats herself up already and may lose a friend too on top of her own life. Seems like payback enough. But again, you disagree, that’s fine.
D.
Tumblr media
Not a fan of how they all had to go either but from the old generation comes the new. It would also be very boring if the previous geniuses of the old generation somehow managed to stay alive. I feel like the solution would come too easily.  The Jaw Titan going from Marcel to Ymir to Porco all seems to be leading up to Falco receiving it so while it sucks, I can at least look forward to seeing how it may all fall into place. 
Eh, Mikasa is clearly too connected to Eren, but isn’t that the point? How it may have been leading up to this point for her to finally push the bond aside because everyone else is in trouble? One of the first steps was leaving her scarf so while it is slow, it suits a loyal character like Mikasa to be so slow in giving up such a strong bond. 
E. 
Tumblr media
F. Nah, it’s purely my own opinion not excuses. If Isayama kept all of his casts alive, it would not be the cliffhanger series he has built. And the harsh truth is there are some characters who are made were not made to be fleshed out, but to be “plot devices” as you mention below. It sucks, but oh well, the same scenarios happen in life. 
Tumblr media
I am blase and accepting because this is a fictional story, not some political event or real-life concern which is about to do me bodily harm.
Moreover, I’m more concerned in how you are so heavily invested in the manga that you take on this attitude. Maybe you have too much time on your hands and see this as fun or you are genuinely angry. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with you being genuinely angry. 
If you are that angry with the series then again, why not put it down and just taking a breather? The amount of venom here even for something fictional is worrying. :/ Again, most likely a troll but there’s a chance it won’t be.
I’ll have to go rest soon and I hope you do the same just like I do to the rest of those who hate Gabi so much. It’s not worth man there are greater joys to be had in life, just like me as I type this now LMAO.
Take care :) 
18 notes · View notes
Text
Secret Snowman Gift!
Here’s my gift for @tevetina
I tried to incorporate all three of your requests; I hope I did them justice. 
Happy Holidays!!
Whizzer stares out the window, watching as the sun set behind the Manhattan skyline in brilliant, blinding orange. He remembers, faintly, a time when the sight of that skyline filled him with inexpressible excitement, when that skyline represented a world of possibility for him—a way out of Brooklyn, out of his dad’s shitty apartment and oppressive parenting-style (or, rather, lack-thereof), and into a place where he could unapologetically be himself, without fear of punishment. Now, the sight of that skyline left Whizzer empty.  After all, look where all that “possibility” had led him: a cold, sterile hospital room that smelled too strongly of bleach and had buzzing florescent lights that didn’t do his complexion any favors.
“Hey.” It’s soft, barely whispered, but enough to snap Whizzer back into reality. He turns, plastering a smile across his face, to see Marvin’s just woken up from his nap.
“Hey there, sleepy head.” Whizzer says. “How’re you feelin’?” He crosses as he says this, and pushes Marvin’s hair out of his face; it’s damp with sweat and clinging to his forehead. Whizzer discreetly wipes his hand on his pants.
“Better with you here,” Marvin replies, trying to sit up a little in the bed. “But still terrible. It’s like someone moved the Sahara inside my mouth.” He reaches for the pitcher of water on his little bedtable, but Whizzer automatically moves to grab it for him, and pours him a glass of water in a pink plastic cup.
“These are so ugly.” He remarks, placing the cup in Marvin’s hand.
“I could have done that myself, you know.” Marvin says with a frown.
“I know, sweetheart.” Whizzer replies with a gentle nod, choosing not to point out how badly Marvin’s hand shook when he’d tried to get it on his own. “Move over.” He nudges Marvin over to the side, causing his lover to dribble water on himself in the process, and falls into the bed beside him. He yawns and leans into Marvin, nuzzling against his shoulder like he would have done in their bed at home.
“You don’t have to stay here,” Marvin points out. “I’ll still be here tomorrow, even if you do go home and get a good night’s sleep.”
Whizzer laughs, locking his fingers with Marvin’s. “It’s going to take more than that to convince me to leave you here alone.” Marvin purses his lips, considering this statement for a moment.
“Okay then,” he says finally. “What would you tell me, to get me to take care of myself, if our roles were reversed?”
“Well,” Whizzer says, thinking it over for half a second. “I’d probably say something like…’Marvin, just go home, and turn on the TV. Drink a little somethin’ till you’re dead—think of me around, sleeping soundly in our bed.’” He pauses, then adds, “But I wouldn’t really want you to leave, so I’d tell you there’s nothing to fear, and beg you to stay right here. And finish with an ‘I love you’, so you couldn’t say no.”
Marvin smiles and presses a weak kiss to the top of Whizzer’s head. “I love you, too.”
 Whizzer managed to get Marvin back to sleep not long after their little exchange—a task that was becoming easier and easier with each passing day, and which did nothing to quell the growing pit in Whizzer’s stomach. He’s just slipping out of the hospital room when Charlotte catches him in the hall.
“Whizzer, wait.” It’s as close to a yell as she can reasonably get, given it’s nearly eleven o’clock at night, and most of the hospital is asleep. Whizzer stops and waits for her, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up again; he’d been hypnotized by the idea of passing out on Mendel and Trina’s couch—something he’d been doing more often lately, given how much closer their place was to the hospital.
Charlotte’s wearing a grim expression, and holding her clipboard close to her chest. Whizzer’s anxiety spikes, and he can feel his arms go a little numb, a nervous reaction he’s had since he was little.
Charlotte sighs, “Look, Whizzer…something bad is happening to Marvin. Something very bad. Something that kills.” Whizzer winces at her bluntness. “Something…infectious, that spreads from one man to another.” She looks at him expectantly, her eyebrows knit together in worry.
It clicks a little slower than Whizzer would care to admit.
“Oh.” He says slowly, because it’s all he can muster. “I have to go now.”  He turns, not entirely sure of where he’s going, because his vision has clouded over and his head is swimming.
“Whizzer?” Charlotte calls after him. “Whizzer, I’m sorry!”
“Whizzer?” Jason’s voice is softer than usual, as if all the life and energy that normally filled him had been sucked out. He’s sat himself down in the hard plastic armchair next to Whizzer, who’s been asked to leave Marvin’s hospital room, because, as one of the nasty nurses put it, he’s not Marvin’s “family”.
“Yeah, pal?” Whizzer asks.
“I need your help with something.”
Whizzer keeps draping and re-draping the garment bag over his forearm; it won’t sit straight, and he’ll be damned if the clothes inside it end up wrinkled because of that.
Trina gently places her hand on his shoulder. “Everything will be alright.” She smiles as she says this, but her eyes give away the uncertainty that her voice doesn’t. Whizzer offers her a weak grin in return, knowing he looks more uncertain of the sentiment as she does.
Whizzer takes a deep breath before he rushes through the door, with a more enthusiastic “Surprise!” than he thought he could manage. He claps a hand down on Jason’s shoulder, explaining how the whole affair was Jason’s brilliant idea.
“I brought the prayer shawl!” Mendel chimes in.
“It’s Jason’s Bar Mitzvah?” Marvin asks, trying to stand up to greet them all. Whizzer pretends not to worry at the way Marvin has to lean into his bed to get the support he needs to stay upright. Whizzer crosses to him and gives Marvin his hand as support. Marvin laces shaking fingers between Whizzer’s and beams; Whizzer can’t help but notice the tears welled up in Marvin’s eyes.
“I brought you a change of clothes.” He explains, clearing his throat slightly and gesturing with the garment bag. “We’ll change you into as much as we can; you’ll look good in the pictures.” Whizzer doesn’t add “Well, as good as you can”; Marvin’s eyes are rimmed with dark purple, his lips colorless, and his cheeks thin and pale. He looks like a walking corpse, and there’s little Whizzer can do to dress that up, though he does wonder if Cordelia or Trina might have some blush in their purse he could use to put a little life back into his lover’s face.
Marvin laughs, snapping Whizzer out of his worried wondering. “I love you. Marry me?”
“We’ll see.” Whizzer says, kissing Marvin’s nose. “You know I want a summer wedding, and who can say where my affections will lie by June?”
Marvin rolls his eyes at that, making a motion with his arm that should push Whizzer away, but does little to move either of them at the moment.
“Come on, now; let’s get you changed.”
What comes after the makeshift ceremony can hardly be called a reception, but Whizzer wouldn’t trade it for a Bar Mitzvah at the Ritz, even if he had the chance.
Trina’s found an NPR station that plays all instrumentals on the boom box that was Charlotte’s gift to Jason—a gift which she insisted he open immediately. Trina proudly declares it better than the band she’d looked into—and much cheaper too. She and Mendel are waltzing around the room, giggling like teenagers; Charlotte and Jason are doing the tango, while Cordelia claps and cheers them on from her place by the appetizers; Marvin is leaning into Whizzer’s shoulder as they sway back and forth, like two teenagers at the prom who’ve no real idea how to dance.
For a moment, Whizzer forgets they’re even in a hospital room. For a moment, he forgets that Marvin’s sick. For a moment, there’s no oppressive weight in the room, no tensions between them, no fears of the future looming over everything.
For just a moment, everything—every single thing—is perfect.
10 notes · View notes