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sankatsuka · 3 months

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Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY Discussion - Reigniting The Passion Lost to Peer Pressure

Everyone wants to have a place to belong, where the hard work we pour into the things we love will be seen and appreciated by people. But what happens when you decide you will never find this place and resign yourself to a life of solitude, only to be proven wrong by a group of people who insist on your wholehearted hard work? And it only later dawns on you that you will someday have to part ways and you will lose the miraculous place you finally found.

This is what I like to think Rui Kamishiro encapsulates - the battle between being yourself and wanting a place to belong. How easy it is to get swayed from what you love when you think you've found this place and start to subconsciously dedicate your passion to this place instead, to the point that if you're not aware enough, you can forget the feelings in your original passion (resulting in the hesitation and doubt in Curtain Call). After all, nobody is the same, and if you focus too much of your passion on them, that passion becomes about them and not yourself. Ultimately, it is how not acknowledging a healthy boundary with people who are different from you can affect your passion (Shiho as a character is very integral to this).

Warnings:

I believe the entire WxS plot is meant to be misdirection.

Personal interpretation of Rui and several characters by inferring from text.

I believe Rui is a flawed person with no bad intentions, so there will be criticism of his character here. I really suggest turning away if it upsets you.

Spoilers for all WxS unit stories up till Backlit Lens Flare (as well as for Saki, Shiho, Akito, Mafuyu and Mizuki's characters up to their most recent stories)

Edit (11/2/2024): Made multiple edits as always, but biggest change is talking more about the foils in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Kitty's message. Edit (12/2/2024): Compulsory mention of Rui's mom and how he was set up for failure from way back then. Edit (12/2/2024): Expansion on the parallels between Rui and Mafuyu - what it is that makes them the CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Jackpot Sad Girl. And a summary on how three commission parallels supports this interpretation of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY about Rui's characters. Edit (13/2/2024): Lets add a bit more about how Resonate with You criticizes Rui's actions in Curtain Call. AND MANJI ALSO BEING A SLANG MEANING EXCITEMENT, STILL APPLIES TO TSUKASA IDC!!

Rui's character in the story starts off as someone who has thrown the part of himself who wants to have fun making things with people after being repeatedly let down by them. The early times with Wonderlands x Showtime helped him remember that desire from childhood to find a place that accepts that desire, that he criticizes Tsukasa for not appreciating WxS - for not realizing the best shows can't be accomplished without friends.

"--The best shows can't be done alone."

Following the fallout, Tsukasa and WxS' continued insistence and appreciation of him makes him start to see them as a place he can finally belong to. The place he's searched for for so long since childhood. That when he saw Tsukasa get hurt, he became swayed from doing the things he wanted to do for the first time and he hadn't even noticed it - because Tsukasa might leave him like his classmates had, so he has to hold back so as to not disappoint him further. This resulted in Tsukasa and Ruis second argument, with Tsukasa being angry at Rui for lying and holding back - which I later argue is the exact same feelings in his FUZAKERUNA in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

"This is surprising. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way." "Being afraid of losing your place, and then being unable to face the actors who seriously respond to you - this is a failing as a director."

However, this entire ordeal ended in Rui acknowledging his weakness, putting the whole deal behind them and moving on with the show, as KAITO advised. (Spoiler: it isn't weird at all to say that this happens again, with how he deals with it so indifferently like this.)

And then in Curtain Call, he becomes painfully aware that everyone may leave someday for their dreams--

"Someday, the day we will have to depart will come... For both me, and everyone."

Doesn't this just seem like a repeat of Halloween in a different way? He's scared they'll all leave him alone. One can say that Curtain Call ignited the exact same fear of being left alone and losing your place that Rui felt in Halloween - and his reaction feels exactly the same too: acknowledge it, put it behind you and move on to doing what is best for the best shows. After all, Rui lives for the best shows, because it is what makes him most happy - albeit Backlit Lens Flare suggests how he doesn't actually fully remember the joy and passion for shows he had as a child (discussed later). The best way to put it is - Rui feels like a walking corpse of his childhood.

Normally, when you realize this possibility of parting in the future, you talk to your friends about this (see: Saki Focus 3, Get Over It). But Rui refrains from talking to the people he should be talking to (WxS) and proceeds to go for the most obvious decision for his dream by joining Arklands. Only after Asahi turns him away does he go for the next obvious option he sees - the reckless decision that he would do everything in his power to achieve everyone's dreams together. And he can so confidently chase it because he's smart, only to be put down in Backlit Lens Flare lol.

Rui has really just been powering his way through the things he finds unpleasant, as KAITO had told him to in Halloween, ignoring the bad parts and doing everything for the sake for the best shows. You can really, really argue that KAITO's advice in Halloween seems very, very morally ambiguous now lol. He doesn't think ahead of what is the best choice and what would make him happiest - it's as if he's avoiding the very line of thought of how he would do post-WxS. Compared to Shiho in Focus 1, 'Resonate With You', who shows how she has thought it through and is happy enough just spending time with Leo/need for leisure - Rui doesn't even reach this line of thought of what happens next.

I think that he avoids thinking properly about these stuff because he wouldn't have a proper answer to it. Can he really trust Asahi when many other people have disappointed him after showing some interest before this? On the other hand, he's argued with Tsukasa twice and everyone is still enthusiastic - WxS is the only place he's ever felt secure.

"There were a few people who saw my ideas and said, 'it would be interesting if we could do it'." "But even those people gradually became reluctant with the more new ideas I brought to them."

It may generally be underestimated in the story just how much Rui doesn't inherently trust people and actors.

Even CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY begins with 'Nobody's listening anyway. Music's all just fashion, players leaving the field after devouring dead sounds one night.' which can be interpreted as people who became reluctant after they spent too long around Rui as he says to KAITO above, innit.

And then, Backlit Lens Flare happens and Rui encounters ??? (Sakaki). Sakaki immediately identifies the problem with Bakuno's acting, pinpointing it to the directors instead of the actor. Rui was not able to.

Remember, the freelance option isn't permanent - there's the possibility someone may be recruited away (It's a story for another day that he is only really worried about Tsukasa instead of the whole WxS but doesn't realize this). Rui paying attention to their growths first of all before his own is testament to how he's trying to make sure they quickly grow so they can achieve their dreams together:

"...It seems it became good stimulation for both of them right away." "...I also need to more proactively study from this opportunity."

So even now, Rui is more worried about WxS over himself. He prioritizes making sure they are getting something out of the freelancing gig over himself. Only after watching them was he stimulated to do his best too - and here comes the question, where did his drive to be proactive for his own passion go to?

Sakaki's ingenuity finally pops this question to Rui's mind. Had Rui's brain not been filled with the worry of losing his place, he may have been able to think more clearly and just as quickly reach the same conclusion as Sakaki. If he had been filled with thoughts of what was satisfying for himself instead of how he could stay with everyone, he may have been able to create a much better film (see: Shiho Focus 3, Stick to Your Faith). In fact, why is he even so bothered about falling behind Sakaki, when Rui isn't even an adult or a professional director himself?

It's not normal to be bothered about that: Nene was never hard on herself for not being as good as Kazamatsuri, because it's a given she's far away. But she does get upset with herself when she realizes she had looked down on Sakurako and naively seen her as an equal. You only react that way with people you see as equals if you're secure.

Perhaps, the passionate person Rui used to be would have admired Sakaki and want to learn from him out of a pure love for shows instead. And not be so bothered about how he was falling behind professionals.

We see Rui fail twice in the story: not figuring out the problem with the scene, and not thinking ahead of personalizing the script like Ohara had. (There is a third time too: how Tsukasa and WxS seem so moved by Bakuno's performance that Rui played no part in - meaning there are others who could easily replace him - if the emotions in this discussion hold true). And it's no wonder it would have him start questioning and blaming his obsession with WxS for it - if he had not been preoccupied with them, he may have avoided his failures altogether, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been this upset.

It's like a hit to his ego. Is how he's acting and behaving really the same boy who loved shows and would do anything for a show that would satisfy him?

Right now, it's as if Rui is trying hard to protect his position as a talented genius that surpasses everyone so WxS will need him for their dreams and want him around. No one can replace him; only he can achieve their dreams for them.

But Sakaki and Ohara prove him wrong.

The closing lines of Backlit Lens Flare, where he focuses on his own feelings towards directing instead of anything WxS learned, implies this self-realization of how he had been behaving. Rui is finally focused on himself.

"I'm disappointed that I didnt come up with this method, but strangely enough, I feel refreshed." "Directing... really is interesting."

FIRST UP. WHY DID YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH THE METHOD. SECONDLY, WHY ARE YOU REFRESHED. It makes sense to me as someone who's been carried away a lot: when you realize you lost sight of your original intentions and began worrying more about so many unnecessary things, you feel bitter at your mistake but relieved and refreshed you've finally been woken up.

To me, all of these feel like they're pointing to Rui being afraid of losing his place in WxS. So he has to be capable of solving everything, achieving everyone's dreams, so they will need him for it and they can keep staying this way. Before this, it seemed like a normal human emotion he had just never experienced before, but now, it's starting to show it's actually detrimenting his passion.

This is what I believe the theme of trends are playing into in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY - doing anything you can to make sure there will be people to hear and appreciate your music, and the spite in realizing you've lost yourself in that pursuit. Money is the artificial love you receive by catering to people so they would stay and listen to you. It's heartless, but following his character, it seems the crowd he's referring to is WxS. Because they have their strong individualistic dreams and just won't simply stay with him as he wants them to, he has to keep worrying about keeping up with them (Tsukasa mainly):

But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.

Loners=Rui Manji (a sign of good things to come)=Tsukasa (being surrounded by good luck charms; kanji 天 being associated with heaven; inviting Rui to WxS) (edit: manji is also a slang for excitement, which Tsukasa literally is for Rui) Gen Z=Nene (digital age, playing video games) Monkey=Emu (in Rui's picnic card and Emu in Sky's Edge)

(In NY2, Emu ended up drawing tons of big luck omikuji, and Tsukasa is surrounded by monkeys in Island Panic - so you can suggest their roles are reversed. But the robot monkey Tsukasa in picnic suggests Tsukasa isn't a real monkey.)

Curtain Call and Backlit Lens Flare together show how not addressing and expressing fears properly and simply moving on changes nothing. Self-awareness and powering through is useless advice - anyone who's had troubles with lovers, friends and family know you need to talk and accomodate each other. Or not, is it even feeling loved and cared anymore, isn't it just about control then?

In Resonate with You, Shiho makes Leo/need think through their choice to join her into becoming a professional, rather than accepting them right off the bat. She knows from her prior experience working with people that half-hearted musicians would only fail, suffer and drop out. It is only by Leo/need wholeheartedly declaring their intentions of facing music sincerely and seriously that Shiho is convinced that they can all do it together for sure. This is such a contrast to Rui in Curtain Call where he decides on his own that he will find a way for WxS to achieve their dream together, while barely thinking at all. And he winds up focusing so much on making sure WxS stays together. You need to think it through, face the future seriously and talk properly. NOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!

Or else you'll lose sight of your original motivation from focusing too much on things that don't really matter as much to you: you'll just end up half-hearted.

Further proof that Backlit Lens Flare is Rui's realization of his half-heartedness since Curtain Call, is that Tsukasa gets angry at him in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY like he does in Halloween. It isn't even a desperate shout to save someone - it's like a look of pure judgmental disappointment, as if they've been through this already. Stop lying.

He already shouted in anger in Halloween. If that didn't reach Rui, then there was no point in being all angry anymore.

Rui was repeating Halloween, trying so hard to protect the place he belongs to and forgot what he himself truly wants. From there, the lyrics in the entire CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are self-explanatory: what happened to the things you wanted to sing? (I was so happy with the lyrics because it was exactly what I was thinking in Curtain Call but no one seemed to care).

One thing you can never take away from Rui is that he is a very, very passionate guy. He loves what he does that he would spend every waking hour of his day working on it. Even if he's become a shell of his former self, his body is still naturally drawn to shows (Samsa Kanade reference heh). And Rui himself believes himself to be purely passionate too. So when he realizes that passion has been thoroughly dirtied, it makes sense he's as angry as he is in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

In Anni 2, Rui says he didn't know what he wanted to do like Mafuyu, but then he corrects himself to say he THOUGHT he knew.

"Actually, in the past, I didn't know what I wanted to do." "No... I should say that I thought I knew, but I actually didn't know at all."

For a brief moment, Rui thought he was just like Mafuyu with nothing to call his own. Until he quickly remembers that he did indeed have something he wanted to do, but claims to have been mistaken.

Why did you briefly relate to a girl who felt like she had nothing she wanted to do like everyone else, if that isn't a sign of his current state of mind - feeling like he has no dreams like WxS, and having to keep up with them so that he can feel like he belongs (discussed later in the parallels with Cinema). His lost passion became more evident at this point of the story.

If you 'thought you knew', then that means it was once a genuine feeling too. Even if you're alone, doing what you love is still fun - Shiho in her Focus 3, 'That Day, The Sky Was Far Away' demonstrates this. Although she had been let down by the bandmates, she was still fine alone because music made her feel better. And she even inspired Mihane because of her enthusiasm. After all, what you love to do should make you happy to some extent.

In comparison, Rui seems to have forgotten that shows were actually fun in middle school (probably because Stick to Your Faith never happened for him). When he approached Mizuki, he was standoffish and didn't think to introduce Mizuki to the fun of shows even when they expressed some interest in it. Probably because he couldn't even remember it himself. But being able to make that decision suggests he did still have some semblance of emotions that felt like shows were fun. Once again, a walking corpse of his chiildhood.

In the end, it's like he already lost this original joy for shows since middle school, and then grew even more confused about what made him happiest with the new joy he experienced after finding a place in WxS. He hasn't been able to wholeheartedly enjoy his passion because he's been continuously rejected, and he thought he was having fun when WxS accepted him - but in the end, that fun was from finally finding a place.

Update: Tetrad gives more implications of how Rui had gone astray post-Curtain Call. Tsukasa and Rui sing together, "We're facing the same direction", but Rui appears troubled. It's like Rui can't declare that he is chasing his dreams as confidently as the rest of WxS. Deep down, a part of him probably knew this even before Backlit Lens Flare happened but was afraid of facing it.

I would further go on to associate CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY to both Kitty and Cinema which its imagery resembles. The card set takes place in Shibuya where Kitty takes place in, and Cinema uses the same director's cut + Tsukasa's trained card directly mentions Cinema on the billboard.

There's also the naming that is clearly based on Jackpot Sad Girl - which I think just goes to highlight how both Rui and Mafuyu have the power through it mindset that it lands them dead and sad respectively: people need to reconcile their differences with others to truly love and feel alive (Rui) and people can't endure stress for too long without getting depressed (Mafuyu). Both ignored their human needs and thus this is where they wound up.

The parallel with Kitty feels like it's also within the overall messaging - how facing things can lead to losing yourself even more when you aren't mentally prepared and have no clear-cut answer (sounds similar to what Rui carelessly did in Curtain Call, doesn't it?). In Mafuyu's case, she seemed about ready to change herself again to please her mother, and in Mizuki's case, opening up to Niigo would make them more sensitive to what they say and probably even change themselves so as to not be left alone. Mizuki has even expressed this sentiment once by dressing as a boy in middle school, when they already knew they loved cute things since childhood and was even reaffirmed by their sister.

In Our Survival and Escape, the point is made that it's BECAUSE Mizuki never opened up to Niigo that they were able to protect their heart. Compare this to Rui, who bore everything about himself to WxS by not holding back with his performances and past and thus gained their unconditional acceptance. As a result, he becomes swayed by them when he realizes that things would come to an end and becomes preoccupied with stopping it even at the cost of himself - his passion. If Mizuki had similarly put their utmost trust in Niigo like this, it wouldn't be surprising either if they quickly get swayed to stop expressing themselves too if one of them ever expressed dismay (hinting that they would leave).

Thus, in order to find the answer to real love, you have to protect your heart first, even if it means running away and distancing yourself from others (Kitty). But unlike Mizuki, Rui was taught from childhood to simply not care about what people say, so he has never been aware of just how much words can affect you (compare the advice Mizuki's sister and Rui's mom gave them: completely different). This winds him up in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY, where he's unknowingly adjusting himself for WxS to not leave him.

As for Cinema, both songs capture how Akito and Rui's struggles and fears at the time feel like the exact same - being left behind and losing your place because you weren't enough, to the point of losing who you really are (Akito pushing himself to be passionate to match everyone else, Rui falling into the trap of peer pressure to match everyone else. What they envy in 'everyone else' is how they want things that Akito and Rui don't feel like they really care about and view as meaningless. But in truth, they don't care about it only because they're more concerned about belonging - they've always had it deep down in them.).

But in Akito's case, VIVID BAD SQUAD directly reaches out for him when he pushes himself far too much and forces himself to suffer to make up for his lack of talent. That's why Akito is reassured that even at his weakest and most pathetic, there will be people there who refuse to leave him alone. So Cinema feels like Akito freely lamenting on how he's different from the people, that he can't keep up with them, but with VBS by his side, he feels like it's fine to find and pursue who he truly is.

On the other hand, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels like Rui's suppressed spite from having to keep up with WxS in order to not be left alone. Because everyone else will betray him, it has to be and can only be WxS who've endured him until now. It's the first time he found people who would stay, so he's desperate not to lose them that he would subconsciously change himself so he can keep matching their needs. And the realization makes him spiteful, because he's lost what was fun for him from that need to change for others to stay. And he's left to stay lost to the very end, because the only way right now for him to be himself and stop worrying is by others matching him instead, but there is no way to 100% control people - compared to Akito who found his answer by coming to terms with the impossibility to control yourself to be someone else. Because VBS was there to accept him as he was when he was trying so hard to be someone else.

Rui will probably eventually realize he has to just accept he's lost his passion from the fear of being alone and stop lamenting controlling everything around him, once he gets tired of it and reaches his limit like Akito in Stray Bad Dogs.

Suddenly everyone started up onto a nonsense scenario (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

It's just like a movie, exactly like a movie. (But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.)

No matter where you go, there's a story. (Just give me a punchline, its meaning can be whatever.)

Cinema and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are like the perspectives of two boys who feel like outsiders to the world, but one is actively trying change himself to belong somewhere and the other finds himself suddenly facing peer pressure when he used to not care about belonging somewhere. It's even contrasted in Akito's customer service front and Rui's indifference to school terrorism that they are foils of one another in a society. And probably why Akito hates Rui too - for taking any means necessary to achieve what he wants without a care for people, when Akito has spent his life working hard to be equals to people in order to belong.

[More similarities in lyrics, in no particular order (CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY in brackets):

Traffic’s already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” "What was it supposed to be like then?" (What happened to things you wanted to sing about?)

Back then I'm sure it was there. The thing that I envisioned was there. When was it that I... (There must have been something you wanted to sing about.)

What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be? There's no way you could be that, right? (At this rate this will never end. What you want definitely isn't money.)]

Maybe it's coincidence, but the lyrics in Cinema also reference Curtain Call very early on:

Someday it'll be bye-bye when the end comes, so Smile for the curtain call and applause.

Cinema is accepting of it and faces it head-on. Rui still avoids it.

And Cinema also captured what happened in Backlit Lens Flare with Bakuno. Something Rui couldn't figure out on his own without Sakaki and Emu:

If you're not suited for the role, Then just rewrite the script!

This is as if implying Akito realizes early on that people are all different, and there may come a time you have to part because of your differences. So you don't have to keep worrying about fitting in - try your best to be yourself instead and smile when it all ends.

This is something that Rui hasn't faced at all, so it's pretty meta that he hadn't thought of matching the actor's individualities. It seems he's lived with the belief that directors have to adjust themselves according to the level they believe the actors are on and actors have to work their hardest to live up to the director's wishes at all times - because the director knows best. Instead of truly understanding their actors for who they are as individuals and what they individually need.

"I always try to cast actors in a way that brings out their strengths." "That's why I always get you to play the role of a type that is easiest for you to match."

And this becomes a regret for Rui in the same story - realizing that he hadn't thought enough about what Tsukasa really wanted and needed.

"...I feel a little regretful that I hadn't thought that far."

Nene's surprise at Rui's words further imply that this isn't how he normally is. That he wouldn't be thinking so much about people and their personal needs.

It isn't therefore surprising that he agrees with and commits to the mindset that he has to power through his emotions without speaking to anyone. He expects that from his actors, and applying it to real life, it means that your role and scenario have already been decided from birth and what was left was living up to it. It's frighteningly similar to the lyrics in Engeki, which I wasn't even thinking about. Except it wasn't forced on him but rather something Rui decided on his own, with no harmful intent from the people who fed that mindset. Even before KAITO - it was his mother who unknowingly instilled this in him:

"People are people, I am myself. If you take care of what you like, someday you'll be able to make friends too. Like how I met your dad." (i.e. don't bother with the painful things around you, just keep doing what you do and keep going until you get there.)

And hence why this commission is full of firey anger. The story tramples on the way Rui has lived until now, proving him wrong when he thought he finally found his answer by powering through his fear of losing WxS. How it made him realize that he had at some point been driven by something petty like being with friends forever and lost the passionate part of him, the one who would do anything to satisfy himself. He's realized he's no longer having fun like the child he used to be, evident from the lyrics that start off with how he no longer has anything he wants to convey.

"Now let's all laugh. Aren't views more important than art? A terrible price for the virus. So what will you do? Is that really fine?" The lyrics are as if Rui is finally realizing that everything he's been doing, making people smile up until now, has been just for views (for WxS to stay around), and it finally makes him question, is this what he really wants??? Where did all the passion, fun and self-satisfaction that he thought he was making shows for went to???

(This is a more literal translation, the popular TL translates it as Then what do we do? Was that how it was supposed to go?)

I don't know if it's clear now - but in conclusion, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels very much like Rui realizing how he was more focused on protecting his place over enjoying what he does. The first lines of the song do seem to be screaming a spitefulness in not being able to just do what you enjoy: "No one wants to listen (...), I don't have anything I want to convey (...)"

That's why CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY is an ironic name, appearing on the director's cut to imply they're filming a movie of Rui's life. How Rui had been living dead against his own self - falling victim to peer pressure (trends) to protect his place in WxS. Until Sakaki reminds him of the heights his true self wanted to reach and reignites the passionate fire for theatre inside him.

In summary, to simplify it, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY's parallels come together to tell a complete story about Rui Kamishiro (biased but idc): 1) Jackpot Sad Girl: The unhealthiness of Rui and Mafuyu's mindset of powering through what they think they want without properly talking to people. 2) Kitty: How putting your trust in people can sway your heart and steer you away from what you truly want, something Mizuki knows and thus avoids but not Rui. 3) Cinema: A combination of Jackpot Sad Girl and Kitty - how a person with Rui's mindset is left feeling angry and confused when realizing he has lost himself from having his heart unexpectedly swayed by people. This is foiled by a complete opposite like Akito who has lived a life with no reason to truly call his own and is bitterly aware of how it is all because his life has always been completely defined by other people.

(Man, I LOVE the Cinema foils so much. Akito and Rui are such perfect opposites I LOVE THEM.)

And finally, from the end of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY:

Devoid of soul, music remains silent Unheard lyrics conceal their essence; without playback, music loses its meaning. Thus, modern music is pronounced deceased.

YES. YES. DEVOID OF SOUL AS I SAID, HOW RUI KAMISHIRO FEELS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD. PLAYBACK!!! LOOK BACK AT YOUR PAST AND FIND YOURSELF!!! REMEMBER THE JOY AND PASSION YOU CAN'T GIVE UP RUI-KUN!!! Stop trying to keep people around, face solitude and be brave: what's most important is to be yourself!

Backlit Lens Flare felt like a reawakening for Rui, and it's why it's one of the best stories alongside Pandemonium for me. If Tsukasa is completely avoidant, then Rui is full of blatant lies. But of course because the writers will never clearly describe the emotions in WxS stories, I can't confirm this is the intended interpretation. It's just my own personal interpretation that I enjoy best and makes most emotional sense to my personal experiences.

But my opinions are bound to change because there are soooo many ways of seeing things. For now, this is what I think of Rui Kamishiro in Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

#project sekai #rui kamishiro #kamishiro rui #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #it's so difficult to talk about rui #i do kinda get how this feels but i guess it's hard to put into words because of how dull the feeling is and you don't even know its there #until you do something thats out of character for yourself #someone whos always trying to convince themselves they dont care when people hurt them will get it #ok i take back my comments on the popular tl of cyberpunk dead boy being biased its just difficult to translate lol #rui is literally set for failure and doomed by the narrative #im sorry i keep editing i just find it so hard to put my thoughts about rui into words

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bluejaybytes · 5 months

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like idk their personality what they look like their motives/views? I'm just curious lol

So, first things first. Shockingly, I've actually posted... basically all of my recent art! I normally RARELY post my art on Tumblr, but I've bene in a sharing mood as of late and have been posting things only a few hours after I finish them, so there's honestly... not much new I can post since the only thing that hasn't been posted is a WIP that I'm already planning on posting when it's done (And it is Not in a state I'm ready to post it lol). THAT SAID! I'm gonna talk about Scarlet because she's got art I haven't posted here before <3 Everything's below the cut, because I anticipate this being... very long and rambly. Whoops lol <3

(Note: I put this in a word counter after writing it. It's over 2.3k words. Apologies for being unable to write in anything shorter than an essay)

Normally I don't post anything that's not completely finished, and while the "main" drawing of her is finished in the sense I'm not going back to add to it further, it hasn't been properly colored or lined, it's just cleaned up sketches, so I haven't posted it before. It's a good few months old and it shows, but it's honestly fine lol. The icon is from earlier this week however, I just typically don't post the icons on their own, since I've made a ton of them and also showed them off in the relationship web I posted last week (Which honestly I will probably post again once a few more OCs have their icons made and added properly)

Scarlet's from the Octarian domes, specifically one that hosts a decently large amount of residential areas, and has two younger sisters, Crimson and Ruby. Scarlet's around ~24, Crimson's ~21, and Ruby's ~17, and they're all quite close growing up, with Scarlet very much embracing her role as the oldest of the bunch and always sticking by them. In fact, it's her desire to be close with her sisters that essentially ends what was a promising career as a weapons engineer for her early. Weapons engineering is a very prestigious role, and Scarlet's both incredibly interested in it and also genuinely very good at it, but due to how highly it's regarded, it also means she'd be unable to be around her sisters anymore, as she'd be too busy with training and working in other domes and with other engineers, so she ends up leaving weapons engineering behind, and instead just trains as a regular soldier.

Even with her staying in a more average position, she's still very talented, and she fairly quickly ascends through the ranks and ends up as an Elite and assigned her own squad to lead, stationed out in the outskirts of the dome she grew up in. Despite her rank as an Elite however, she keeps the traditional red coloration that's typically only for lower ranked soldiers, both as it's a shared family color, and her squad all respect her enough that she doesn't feel she needs to conform very strictly to the hierarchy for colors to have them recognize her as in charge.

Through her own request, Crimson, who's just a regular soldier, is part of her squad, and while their job is considered very important, as they guard the exits between the domes and the surface, it's still... very boring. There's really nothing around, and most of their days are just... patrolling, finding nothing, going back to camp. It's a very soulsucking job for her in all honesty, a lot of the glamor that draws people in to the military life is just... nonexistent. It's miserable and she's achieving nothing. She stays where she is, she wants to be there with Crimson, and she gets to stay, while not really... in contact with Ruby, as there's no cell service all the way out where they are, but close enough to Ruby that if there was some family emergency, she'd be able to get home quickly to be there with her. At this point, she's just counting the days until she's able to quit, or at the very least, take an extended break to go back home and feel like a person again.

It's on one of her patrols, however, that she ends up running into May. She'd gotten the command to stay alert for some teenage runaways that'd escaped police capture a few months prior, but, unbeknownst to her, May was one of them. While she'd never really known May specifically, she'd been the childhood best friend of Ruby, so Scarlet knew her from all the time that Ruby had spent with her, and all that she talked of her. She'd already been feeling miserable and disillusioned with her life as a soldier at this point, and the realization that this fugitive she'd been keeping an eye out for was a kid she personally knows, and knows wouldn't be a runaway for no reason, is just another moment of question for her.

May doesn't really recognize her at first, with it having been years since Scarlet had actually been home, but once Scarlet calls her by name, May remembers her, and pleads to not be taken back home. Scarlet, while not knowing her exact motives for running away, definitely empathizes in that moment, as someone who's tired of the miserable state they're living in, and she also just can't sit idly by watching a homeless teen beg to be given even the slightest mercy. She tells May she's not going to turn her in, and instead invites her to sit down and just talk with her. Neither have had any new company in months at this point, so she figures it'll benefit them both.

Their conversation goes well, and while May isn't willing to talk about the circumstances that've lead to her being on the run, they both are very clearly able to recognize themselves in each other. In the end, Scarlet knows she can't just let a homeless teen go hungry, and tells May to meet her out there the next day at the same time, and that she'll give her some of her rations for that day to hopefully help out a bit. May's still a little unsure, especially since she doesn't like to stay in one place for too long, as well as the fact she's still trying to find her way to the surface, but she's not really in a position where she feels she can deny a safe, reliable food source, so she agrees.

It's, of course, at their next meeting that Scarlet notices May barely picking at the food she's brought. It's at this point Scarlet realizes that May's not just one of the runaways she'd heard about, but that she's the one who's known to be traveling with a kid. May hadn't wanted to actually talk about it before, as her little sister, June, stays behind at their temporary camp for her own safety while May goes out scavenging for food and looking for a way out, but this only further pushes Scarlet into wanting to help her. She already felt like she had a moral obligation to help May before, but now knowing she's also got a kid with her means Scarlet absolutely can not and will not let them go without her help, at least as much as she can offer.

Scarlet ends up going from giving half of her own days food rations, to stealing from the food supply, as well as grabbing some spare clothes, to make sure May and June have enough to eat and take care of themselves a bit better than they were before. Ultimately, her squad can always request more supplies, but May and June aren't in a position to help themselves like she can. This, however, does not go unnoticed. Her squad notices the lessened rations, and ask her what she thinks is happening. She insists it must be a sea slug, or at least some kind of animal that got into their food supplies, it's happened before, it's fine, they can just go ask for backup, don't worry about it. For the most part, her squad accepts her dismissal of the topic. They do find it weird, but ultimately, Scarlet has never been one to do anything like this before, and the long time away from home has been weighing on everyone, so it's most likely just stress getting to her.

Crimson notices, though. She also notices Scarlet's retreat from their usual nightly chats, instead opting to go on "destress walks", or "extra patrols", excuses varying from night to night. Scarlet's dismissal of the issue, her increasing time spent away from camp, and her lessened time spent with her all eventually push Crimson into stalking her on one of her times out of camp, and watches from a distance as Scarlet actively betrays her squad and her duties as a soldier to hide, feed, and protect a fugitive runaway. Crimson absolutely loses it, jumping out from her hiding place and revealing herself to have seen everything, and tells Scarlet she needs to hand May over now. Scarlet just can't do it. She hesitates before telling Crimson she won't, not because she's hesitating in her decision, but because she's scared of admitting it. She doesn't want to live this life, where a scared, homeless teenager and her little sister are expected to instantly be arrested and turned in, where they guard the exit to somewhere they're constantly told is hostile to them, yet have spent all of this time and never seen a proper enemy soldier. She's not going to turn May in for the crime of wanting to leave. And then Crimson attacks her

Scarlet wasn't sure how Crimson was going to react, but it certainly wasn't what she was expecting, as Crimson ends up pulling out a pocket knife she'd been carrying, and fully intends to seriously harm her. Scarlet's caught entirely off guard, and the fight goes very poorly for her, especially considering Scarlet's only weapon was an Octo Shot she didn't have ready, and even if she did, she doesn't want to attack her little sister. Eventually she's able to muster the strength to attack back enough that she gets Crimson off of her, and down long enough for her to take off running. May had bolted the moment the fight broke out, and Scarlet has no idea where she ran off to, but she knows her way out of the domes, having been patrolling the outskirts for this long

It's still over a days walk to the exit before Scarlet is far enough out from her camp that she feels safe enough that she can stop, and really assess the damage Crimson did to her. She's lucky in the sense she'd been carrying some basic first aid supplies on her when everything happened, she always liked having it on her just in case one of her squadmates needed it, but it ends up being enough to prevent her from getting any of her wounds infected. However, the damage is still fairly bad, even if she's able to stop it from getting worse, with Crimson having nearly fully blinded her in one eye, as well as giving her some nasty wounds that eventually scar over. Ultimately, she's lucky she didn't lose the eye entirely, but it's still an absolutely miserable experience regardless.

From there, she makes it to the surface surprisingly easily. She knew the way out, and the exit she took wasn't too far from Inkopolis, so she's able to get there within the month. Her positioning right next to the surface meant she was already required to know some of the Inkling language, so while she's not at all fluent, she's able to get by enough that she's able to pawn off her armor, as well as practically anything that isn't directly necessary to her survival. Her armor specifically is important however, as she wants to get rid of anything that could potentially relate her to being an Octoling soldier, and while she doesn't realize that really no Inklings would think anything of it, she can't risk it. She uses the funds to get herself a place to stay for a while, and is finally able to just rest for a minute.

From there, she actually adjusts surprisingly well to everything on the surface. Her skill with weapon tech is actually in very high demand, as the need for weaponsmiths and repair workers is at an all time high, so she's able to get an apprenticeship at a repair shop in quick time, and not only does it pay well, but she loves the work. While it's not the same as what she was training to do in the military, weapons engineering, she just loves working with weaponry as a whole, and while she doesn't personally play, it's also a reassuring notion for her that she's able to pursue a lifelong passion of hers in a way that isn't actually tied to war and combat, it's all just a silly game everyones playing, there's no actual stakes

It's around two years before she ends up seeing May again, however. After the fight broke out, May ran back to her camp, grabbed June, and just... picked a direction and ran. It took another few months wandering lost before May was actually finally able to make it out, and given how big of a city Inkopolis is, she and Scarlet don't run into each other naturally for quite a long time. They both carry around a lot of guilt surrounding the situation though. Scarlet feels as if she basically just... abandoned May, who was in this desperate situation, and that she should've made more of an effort to look for her before she just left, and May feels like she's responsible for everything that happened to Scarlet. The two meet when May, going in for weapons adjustments to make sure everythings up to date for league regulations for June's first time trying out a game of Turf War, ends up at the shop Scarlet works at. The two are overjoyed to see that they've both settled remarkably well in on the surface, and that they both even made it out in the first place. It alleviates a lot of that guilt for both of them, as while they both end up feeling as though they should've handled the situation differently, this is at least proof neither party ended up worse off afterwards. They're also able to stay in touch after this, which helps them both feel a little less alone as one of only a few dozen Octolings in hiding on the surface.

Ultimately, this is where I stop being able to describe things solely from Scarlet's point of view, as when Crimson reenters the story, there's a lot of extra context that needs to be added as to why everything worked out the way it did, and somehow this has already ended up longer than the time I laid out literally the entire plot of all of my main OCs. Good lord above. I was not joking when I said this would take a long time to write and when I said I'd write a lot.

Sincerely, thank you so much for asking, I do apologize for letting this one... also get out of hand, since this is... a lot of text for anyone to read through, but I do so, so very much appreciate the chance to let myself just kinda shed the feeling of cringe for a moment and just let myself infodump about my OCs lol. Peace and love on planet earth <3

#my OCs #my art #i uh #yeah.#2.3k words.#NEXT AUTISM OC POST WILL BE ABOUT RUBY. I GUARANTEE YOU.#shes the one who's getting art rn thats taking forever but Will Be Posted Eventually.#umm id also like to elaborate on Crimson post-attack at some point. but oh boy she ALSO has a lot going on. so. yknow #autism. moment.#i know ive said it a lot already but still thank you sooo much <3 i really really do appreciate it more than i can express #My own OCs are a special interest for me which is. its hard.#what do you MEAN if i want content of my special interest I HAVE TO MAKE IT MYSELF????#anyways. thank u <3 #(id also like to elaborate on June at some point. shes like. Literally one of the ones with the most thought put into-#-yet she has BARELY appeared in my autismposting bc May is more directly plot moving)#the squits

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