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jakeyt · 3 months

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Covet: Chapter 10 (Sneak Peek)

a/n: A little peek inside Jake's head... chapter 10, the true first look at how Jake will take the news. You'll see the first few weeks of him knowing once the whole chapter is here. Eeeek!!

However, here is the mess of his mind once he first finds out......

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake's POV

There was no doubting her. Not for a single second. The baby was mine and I’d known it in my heart before I asked.

I really just wanted to hear her say it.

During our time together, just like she’d been it for me, I knew in my heart that I’d been it for her. I’d known her, backwards and forwards.

And, within that time that I knew her so well, we’d become close. So close that, without meaning to make it—us— more, we’d made what we had more.

Shaking my head, I gave her a better look, not able to put into words what the fuck I was feeling. So, I let my eyes trail down her body, covered only by a towel.

She adjusted her towel, tighter around her body. Was she self conscious? She shouldn’t have been. She was always beautiful. So beautiful. And I was afraid pregnancy was only going to enhance her beauty. . . I noticed as she tightened her towel, the action made her full breasts spill even more from the top of the towel.

I averted my eyes, willing my dick to not react. Instead, I trained my eyes below, on her belly.

And now that I knew, I could see. Even through the fluffiness of the towel, I could see a certain roundness to her belly that had never been there before. A full-blown bump. Still small by some standards, but big enough that I should have fucking noticed.

Not able to help it, my eyes scanned her heaving chest again, the tops of her tits fully exposed above the towel. It made so much sense why I’d noticed them looking bigger. . . Because they were bigger. Growing. Every day. To nourish a baby.

Our baby.

I looked away from her. . . I couldn’t look at her right now.

Not when she— when I. . . God.

How had I been so oblivious?! I lived with her for Christ’s sake. Was it my fault that I hadn’t allowed myself to be more present in her life? Was it because I was seeing Maya now?

God. No. It wasn’t on me to watch for things like that anymore. Not since she’d told me that I’d served my purpose. That I was just convenient. . . And all of the other hateful shit she’d spit in my face that day.

The day my heart fucking broke after pounding in my chest. . . Pleading with her to help me understand all of it.

But she didn’t fucking stop . . . Just kept going. Breaking me. Saying things I never, in a million years, ever wanted to hear from her.

I’d let her become more in my life. I foolishly thought it was meant to last. Thought that she had become my someone. More than relationship. More than friends. She had just . . . Been there. She’d nestled into a place made just for her in my heart. Like she was supposed to have been there all along.

I’d never wanted her to leave.

But she’d wanted to. She’d put her foot down, not leaving any goddamn room for argument.

And my heart. . . Fucking broken after beating the hardest it ever had in my chest. . . Shattered into an infinite number of tiny shards at my feet. I’d spent days picking up the shreds, my hands getting cut every time I tried to fix in me what she’d torn apart.

There was a part of me that knew exactly why she’d done it. I fucking knew. But there was no use in entertaining what I knew to be true when she refused to acknowledge the truth.

The night we’d smoked and I’d told her that I— she’d told me that she— Jesus. The moment had been so real, so solid. . . Even being under the influence, I felt the connection we’d made in that moment.

I thought about the words everyday after that night. And the words continued to echo for weeks after I’d left the kitchen on that hellish day.

Then there was the transcendental sex we’d had when we made it into her room. . . She’d been so wet, waiting for me. . . Fuck it all. That sure as hell hadn't left my mind. It wouldn't ever.

Wait— the night we’d smoked. . . We hadn’t used. . .

Was that when—?

The inside of my brain was just going fucking insane and I couldn’t— goddammit!

I tucked Josh's goddamn phone in my pocket, and ran a hand through my hair a couple of times. The other hand still held my keys, flexing over and over. I needed to do something with my hands. Besides balling them into fists and creating divots in one palm with my fingertips and the other with my keys.

I was tired of just standing there, in front of this woman I’d fallen for at a time when I thought I’d never want to love again. . . The same woman who’d shattered me. And, now, the very same woman who was carrying my child. . .

There was no use in trying to organize any thoughts.

Pacing seemed to be the only option. So, back and forth, back and forth, I walked in about a foot of space. Just waded in these uncharted fucking waters.

All I knew at this moment was she was pregnant. And she’d lied to me about it.

How long had she—? How far along was—?

And why in the hell had Josh known before me?! Of all fucking people . . .

Fuck!

“Jake,” her voice tore through the catastrophic mess of shit in my head.

I didn’t look at her.

How could I? When she’d left me in the dark. Once again, prioritized Josh over me. Even when it came to my child. Absolutely fucking incredible.

“Jake, please,” she muttered, voice cracking on the word please. My heart couldn’t handle the sound. “I can’t— I’m not in the right state of mind to just—," she squeaked, the sound of tears clear in her tone.

I stopped pacing and peered up at her finally, my hair surely a mess when I let my eyes pierce hers.

But as soon as I made eye contact with her, I softened. I hated to see her cry. Hated it. And the sobs wracking her were unexpected and it hurt me to stand there and watch her like that.

But— she’d brought this on herself. Right?! Fuck.

As much as I wanted to walk to her and hug her, I didn’t. I stayed where I was, offering a half-assed condolence. It wasn’t her turn to hurt over this.

I was the one just finding out. Not her.

“Y/n,” I tried, weakly. But god it sucked to say her name right now. “Just— god. There are so many—.”

“Questions, I know,” she finished, sniffling. She walked a couple hesitant steps toward me. But I took two back, away from her.

The way her body slacked at my action made me want to take it back. There were a lot of things I wanted to do. Some understandable, some not so much. I wanted to cry. Kiss her. Hug her. Feel her. Help her. Scream at her.

But, she was right. I did have so many fucking questions.

“How long?” I asked, breath shallow, never letting my eyes leave hers.

She kept up, not looking away from me. “How long have I known? Or how long have I been—?”

“Both.”

“I—,” she stuttered, closing her eyes tight, her beautiful face contorted in what I could only assume was emotional turmoil.

I watched as she balled her fists, clenching them a few times. Then, as she released them, she seemed to plant her feet firmly on the floor— her body, rigid and straight.

When she opened her eyes and found mine again, I could clearly see the tears that had accumulated on her lashes. And her eyes, that would forever take my breath away, were daring to shed more of them.

“Don’t cry,” I couldn’t help but calmly reassure her, my voice soft as I went to stand closer to her again. Not close. Just— closer. “Just. . . keep going. Talk me through it. Talk us through it.”

She breathed deeply, in and out, once. I strained to not let my eyes fall to her chest— to admire the way that her fuller breasts would rise and fall. . .

I resisted, focusing on her eyes - her face. Her face, rivaling all gods of beauty, always daring to bewitch me.

After taking one more calming breath, she began. “I’m three months,” she paused momentarily, as if thinking of something. “Three months today, actually.”

Three months.

“And how long have you known?”

“I’ve known for about a month,” she responded, bringing her shoulders higher and sniffling once. She blinked once, tightening her fists once more. “That’s not to say I told anyone right away. I kept it to myself. I was scared. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.”

I let her words sit in the air for a few minutes, thought them through at least five times before I couldn’t keep the next question to myself any longer.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: hm.... what will his next question be???? I'll give you one guess 🙄

also, I love how much he already loves her changing body..... liiiiike..... 👀

#but for real #omg guys #i am /so/ excited to show you where this goes now that he knows......#a new beginning #that's for sure #covet #sneak peek

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togetherkru · 6 months

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Clarke Griffin Appreciation Week 2023

Day 2 : favourite underrated friendship

Nate and Clarke

#cgaw23 #nathan miller #clarke griffin #those 2 had a complicated but true friendship #camarads #that's for sure #through the seasons #myedit100 #clarkegriffinedit

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icemavslastbraincell · 3 months

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We got Godzilla Minus One Minus Color for a week so obviously I had to go and watch it on my day off. But the Icemav brainrot has completely taken me over and I simply can't stop thinking about the Icemav potential with this kind of AU.

Like Ice coming back from war, traumatized and wartorn only to discover that his parents (or siblings or whoever) are gone due to some horrific events. Trying to rebuild his life, trying to move past everything that happened to him in the war and suddenly in barges this short, chaotic, green eyed gremlin of a man and a small child that doesn't belong to the man but is his responsibility per his promise to his two best friends. Ice doesn't want them around at first; Maverick and Bradley are two extra mouths he can't afford to feed not to mention the fact that the reason they first was because Ice was in town and Maverick quite literally slammed into him and shoved Bradley into his arms before running off, cops chasing after him. Not exactly an ideal meeting.

But Ice has never been one to turn his back on children in need, even if it means he has to keep Maverick around because he and Bradley are a package deal. So Ice lets them stay. He finds a job, a pretty well paying one, and they rebuild their lives, bit by bit. Maverick finds a job in a nearby town and there's something budding between them, though neither man is brave enough to put a name to it quite yet. Ice starts to think that maybe, just maybe, he can start to move past everything.

And then disaster strikes. Suddenly, Mav is gone and with it, part of Ice's will to live. He knows he has to take care of Bradley, it's what Mav would've wanted him to do, but how is he supposed to do this without Maverick? How is he supposed to keep living with this gaping hole in his chest, this crippling sadness that hovers over him and suffocates him at every chance?

So he throws himself into helping after the disaster. If he can't bring Maverick back, the least he can do is make sure whatever that thing was pays for taking him from Ice. He leaves early on the day that everything is scheduled to go down, leaves an envelope with money for Bradley and a letter to their neighbor, Viper, explaining what's going on and to use the money for raising Bradley.

And then he doesn't die. He miraculously survives, the monster seemingly defeated, and when he gets back to shore, he finds Viper and Bradley. Viper gives him a stern look, one that definitely means that they're gonna be having a talk later, and shoves a telegram in his hand. He's confused for a split second then reads it.

Mav is alive.

Mav is *alive*.

*Mav is alive*.

He gathers Bradley from Viper and rushes to the hospital as fast as he can, trying desperately not to cry on the way there. Bradley is confused, not quite understanding what's going on but nevertheless willing to follow Ice wherever.

They rush up the stairs to Mav's room, Ice far too impatient to wait for the elevator, and Ice bursts through the door, the handle stopping just shy of slamming into the wall.

Sure enough, there on the bed is his short, chaotic, green eyed gremlin, bandages on his head and arm in a sling. Despite how much pain he's surely in, a soft smile rests on Maverick's lips when he looks up and sees Ice and Bradley.

Ice can't help it; the tears that have been stinging his eyes for the past twenty minutes finally slip out and race down his cheeks as short, hiccuping breaths leave his lungs, shattering them each time they escape.

"Is your war finally over?" Mav asks in a soft, barely there voice.

And Ice buckles. He has enough control over his body to not drop Bradley on the floor, instead placing him on the bed next to Mav's leg, and collapses against Maverick. He nods and buries his face into the meat of Mav's thigh. Hands come up, one carding through his hair and the other one running along his back. The touches are comforting, welcome, even if they make him cry more.

He doesn't care about anything else but this right here: his family, back together again, finally whole once more.

Anyway, I'll probably turn this into a full fic at some point, I just really wanted to get this out there bc it was literally all I could think about as I watched G-1 for the fifth time

#godzilla minus one #godzilla minus one minus color #icemav #top gun #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #bradley rooster bradshaw #icemav godzilla au???#like idk if i'll keep the monster or whatever as godzilla #but it'll be something devastating #that's for sure #gotta give all of the angst bc what else am i gonna give these boys

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detectivebambam · 3 months

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such a difficult decision to make

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amethystina · 17 days

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I'm waiting so excitedly for your updates, old and new, I can't begin to tell you! You are the fandom treasure! And as I'm waiting and biting my nails I wanted to ask something, what do you think about the final scenes of episode 8 where Gaon has dinner with his professor and tells him he chooses Yohan's side. How come Yohan knew where to find them and the precise moment to come in and pick Gaon up, was he following them or did he and Gaon had a deal?

And what's with leaving his car to stand next to Gain and look at professor? I love this scene so much but I don't know if I understand its message right. Was it posturing, laying a claim on Gaon or what? I tend to feel that Yohan was possessive of Gaon when it came to professor and his police friend and I think I feel some of it in this scene but I'm not sure, I just don't have a clear grasp on it. Would love to know your thoughts!

Aww, thank you so much, sweetheart! This is definitely the first time I've been called not just a fandom treasure, but the fandom treasure. Thank you 💜

Ah yes, the "Ga On runs off with his new sugar daddy" scene. Or, as I sometimes like to call it, the "You just don't understand, dad professor — I love him" scene.

I'm joking, obviously.

(... or am I?)

I would say that Ga On and Yo Han made an agreement beforehand, yes. They probably talked about Ga On's choice to switch sides and while Yo Han would no doubt have loved for Ga On to continue on as a double agent (feeding Professor Min intentionally faulty information) Ga On is way too honest for that. So he probably insisted that, no, he'll call Professor Min, meet up with him, and just flat out tell him that Ga On's spying mission is over. He's now going to elope work with Yo Han instead.

And I find it hilarious to think that, most likely, Yo Han was just sitting in his car, perhaps scrolling through his phone, waiting for his newly acquired sugar baby to finish telling his semi-father figure that he's going dark side. Because Ga On gets up and starts walking before Yo Han drives up, meaning that it's not like Ga On saw the car coming and went "oh, better wrap this up now." It was probably the other way around, where Ga On leaving the table was the signal for Yo Han to come pick him up.

So yes, they definitely had an agreement, especially since Ga On seems to know in exactly which direction to walk, even before the car shows up, and doesn't look the least bit surprised by Yo Han's arrival.

They planned that shit.

Brutal.

As for the fact that Yo Han gets out of the car? Well, buckle up, my darlings, because I think we should take a detour to discuss intent.

Now, intent isn't necessarily important when you want to interpret a scene, but I like the extra nuance it can offer. And by intent, I mean what the scriptwriter/director might have intended with a scene. Why is this scene here? What was the plan behind it? How is it supposed to impact the overall story? How does it tie into the rest of the plot?

Which is never something you can say for sure, of course, unless there are interviews expressly stating it, but, a lot of the time, we can guess.

The intent behind this scene, in its simplest, purest form, is to show that Ga On is switching sides. And, with that in mind, it makes sense that he crosses that road to Yo Han's car (if you know me and my metas, you know how much I love lines, characters crossing said lines, and the symbolism of that) and stops to stand next to Yo Han. It's a very simple yet effective way to show Ga On's choice and where it will take him.

Into Yo Han's arms.

NOW. Intent is very useful because, depending on how skilled the person writing is, you can hide a lot of subtext and leave room for a lot of interpretation with a cleverly formulated intent. That's how censored shows get away with so much, because they can point to the perfectly reasonable, heteronormative intent behind a scene and pretend that there aren't also a lot of subtler nuances to the reading.

And, if they're extra bold, they also add hints in the presentation and execution.

The scene where Yo Han invites Sun Ah to the house is a perfect example of this, where the intent is to make her feel lonely, like an outsider, as she's invited to observe this warm, comfortable family. Not a bad tactic as far as manipulation goes, I have to say. So, in other words, very reasonable intent — makes sense with what they're trying to achieve.

The fact that it ends up looking more like Yo Han is proudly showing off his doting, doe-eyed househusband who's passively-aggressively and not-so-discreetly staking his claim is... well, that's just an accidental side effect, isn't it? Not intent at all.

And that's true. It's not intent that makes it look gay.

It's the presentation of the intent.

(Sidenote: To be a fly on the wall when Yo Han and Ga On came up with this strategy. Because, clearly, they were both in on it and, I mean, how did that conversation go? Inquiring minds need to know.

Like, how did they go from: "We need to throw her off balance. We'll invite her to the house, show what she's missing out on, but also give her hints that she could have it all, if she's willing to surrender" to Ga On going: "I'll cook a fancy dinner. That'll make her jealous."

I mean, he's not wrong but, like, Mr. Sugar Baby. What? x'D

Also, imagine Yo Han's face. Transcendent.)

Anyway. Intent can also ruin a story. I think most of us have read a fanfic and gone: "... that character wouldn't do that. This makes no sense." That could be a sign that the author's intent is clashing with the characters or the story they're trying to tell. Or, put more bluntly, that the author is so focused on forcing an idea that they don't realise that they're going against the logic of the story or characters' personalities. Things happen because they want them to, not because it makes sense, meaning that the intent isn't tied to the story or characters, but what the writer wants. This is badly planned intent.

And, most of the time, readers can tell when the intent is off, even if you might not be able to put your finger on it while you're reading. But if you're feeling a niggling doubt at the back of your mind, wondering why this scene is here, what this scene even means, or why this character suddenly seems to act so strangely, it could be that the writer didn't plan it well enough.

That's not to say that a reader must always know the intent behind a scene. Ideally, the story should be good enough that they don't have to stop and think about things like that. If the intent and internal logic are sound enough, it should just flow naturally.

Because, when it comes down to it, pretty much all scenes in a story have an intent and that intent should be in harmony with the characters' personalities and how they would choose to behave. And I don't mean that there can never be conflict or that characters can't disagree — I mean that all scenes should have a reason for being there. It doesn't have to be a deep or complex reason, but there should be a reason that ties into the overarching plotline. And characters shouldn't be forced into a scene they have no business being in. Intent is very important from a crafting standpoint.

And intent is one of the things that makes The Devil Judge such an absolute joy. Because while there is always a perfectly reasonable — and very heterosexual, we promise — intent behind most scenes, they often choose to present the scenes in a way that leaves room for a much queerer reading. Now, that can happen with almost any story, but what sets The Devil Judge apart is that it seems to be entirely intentional.

The presentation is by no means subtle or accidental.

Like, they didn't have to make Ga On shuffle up in a soft, comfortable sweater and greet Sun Ah like a caring househusband, but they did. That was a conscious choice.

And this scene you mention, with Yo Han getting out of his car when he's picking Ga On up, falls into a similar category in my mind. The surface-level intent is clear — show that Ga On is switching sides — but he could simply have said so. He could have borrowed a car and driven himself. Yo Han didn't have to come pick him up. And he certainly didn't have to get out of the car.

But he did.

And that might be what you're picking up on when you're saying that you're not sure if you're understanding the message correctly. Because in a drama this clever, that puts so much effort into details and, again, intent, it feels almost a bit odd to leave this gaping hole, doesn't it? Yo Han stepping out of that car should mean something, right?

And, once you've gotten this far, you've got a couple of options to choose from to fill in the blanks. Either you can assume that it was just something the creators chose to do because it looked/seemed cool and therefore might not mean much at all. And considering that this drama does that a couple of times, this could honestly be the case. Maybe they just thought it would be more effective to have Yo Han to step out of the car? To really hammer it home to Professor Min what's happening?

Your other option is to bring in the harmonisation between intent and characters. Because, if the writer is good and their characters consistent, you should be able to pick up on secondary layers of intent, running parallel with the main one. Because while each scene has an intent, each character IN that scene also has one (though perhaps it would be more comfortable to call it purpose at this point?).

In other words: If "it looked cool" isn't the answer, could we find it in the character's behaviour instead? What is their intent, based on their personalities and previous actions? Does that give a more satisfying answer?

What reason would Mr. Kang "Abyss" Yo Han have for stepping out of that car?

I, personally, think that the answer is pretty simple.

He is absofuckinglutely staking a claim.

He's stepping out of that car because he's a Possessive, Dramatic Bitch and wants to rub it in Professor Min's face. He wants to show that he's won, that he's turned the spy Professor Min sent, and that he's, quite literally, taking Ga On away.

Yo Han is basically going: "Thanks for the sugar baby — I'll make sure to ravish savour treasure him."

So while the main goal of that scene is to establish that Ga On is switching sides, the intent Yo Han adds with his actions leaves room for a very gay reading. In fact, I'd argue that doing so only makes the scene more believable, since Yo Han's actions are otherwise kind of... unnecessary? He has no reason to step out of the car and make himself known, unless it's for the dramah.

Again, the presentation of the intent is where the magic happens.

So, why this long, godawful rant about intent, you ask? When I could just have answered the question right away?

Because while I know that I'm preaching to the choir in terms of this drama being gay as hell, I just want to highlight the importance of intent and how it can change the reading of a scene. I think intent — or specifically the harmony between characters and intent, and the various layers of intent — is absolutely fascinating, especially in this drama.

Especially if you want to argue that it's gay.

Because there is, in fact, some scenes where I just... I can't. The intent and characterisation don't match at all — unless you add a queer element. Like, this drama is so clever. Not perfect, mind you, but so clever. And so careful with especially Yo Han and Ga On's characterisation. Very little is left to chance.

And so, if you keep everything I've said about intent and characters in mind, and I ask you to explain the intent behind this one, singular shot, can you do so without making it gay?

I'm not joking when I say that this scene, right here, was the one that definitively made me go "oh fuck, this is gay gay."

Because in most others — if not all — I can find that safe surface-level intent which means that the people behind this drama can claim plausible deniability. Of course it's not gay! Look at this perfectly reasonable, heterosexual intent!

Except this one.

There's no explanation for this. Ga On has no reason to look this jealous unless his jealousy is the main intent behind this shot. There just isn't. And it's only made worse by his huff and the way he clenches his jaw a couple of seconds later. Not even the argument that Sun Ah is their enemy so letting her fix Yo Han's tie might be dangerous can justify this, since that's not a look of concern or alarm — that's jealousy.

The intent is jealousy. Plain and simple.

And that's why intent is important. Because, if push came to shove, the intent behind this one, singular screenshot could, theoretically, be the only evidence you need if you wanted to defend a queer reading of this drama.

Because there is, quite frankly — in my humble opinion as the fandom treasure — no other way to explain the look on his face in a drama this meticulous and obsessed with details.

In this scene, unlike all the others, the queerness isn't just in the presentation anymore — it's in both the intent and presentation.

So, if you want the scene that says "this shit's gay, fam"?

This is the one.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #Dear LORD I went off on a tangent here #Sorry about that #But I also stand by it #That screenshot of Ga On keeps me up at night #Because THE INTENT #TELL ME WHAT THE INTENT IS #By the way #I feel a need to point out that I don't actually NEED Yo Han and Ga On to be canon #But it drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE that some of these scenes exist #Because now they're just messing with me and my hyper-analytical mind #... filed under things going on inside my head I guess #It's never quiet or boring #That's for sure

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