#that shot of inej grabbing her knife YES

[rubysunnday]

raise a cup

Request by anon: Idk I’d you would have any inspiration or ideas for it but I really loved your fic “bloody hands” and was wondering if you would be willing to write a sequel to it. I wanted to also say you are incredibly talented and your writing is really incredible

A/N: Am I giving you a sequel to Bloody Hands? Yes, yes I am. Am I giving you a kinda sequel to Snap Out of It? Also yes. @buckystarlight

Summary: You would think that dying and coming back to life would make Kaz realise that he couldn't lose Y/N. Yeah, who are we kidding, this is Kaz we're on about.

Jesper looked up as the door to Kaz's office slammed. Loudly. He watched Y/N storm down the stairs, a dark glare on her face, and grabbed the expensive alcohol from behind the bar, pouring it into the shot glasses he'd been intricately lining up along the top of the bar.

Y/N stormed up to the bar and picked up a shot, downing it and then slamming the glass back down.

Jesper rested his head on his chin, crossing his ankles. "Is he still not talking to you?"

Y/N growled. "He is so pigheaded at times," she snapped, taking another shot. "You'd think me dying and coming back to life would make him be nicer but nooo."

A hint of a smile pulled on Jesper's lips. "He is Kaz."

"He is a dick."

Jesper couldn't argue with that one. Y/N dropped her head onto the bar with a thump and he reached out a ring clad hand and patted her head, combing through her hair with his fingers.

"I'd ask if you're alright but I know you're not," Jesper said quietly. "All I'm gonna say is if you want to leave, I'll help you - no questions asked."

Y/N lifted her head, setting her chin on her hand. "Thanks, Jes."

"And whilst we're on the job, we can bitch about Kaz all we want."

Y/N stared blankly at Jesper. "What job?"

Jesper's eyes widened. "Oh, fucking hell. He didn't tell you?"

"Kaz has told you about a job and not me, classic, love that for me," Y/N muttered, dropping her hand. "Who else did he tell?"

Jesper was silent. He pressed his lips together and sighed. "Inej. ANd Nina."

Y/N dropped her head onto the bar top. "What did I do wrong, Jesper? I mean, other than falling in love with Kaz."

"Nothing," Jesper said, clasping her hands tightly. "You did nothing wrong. Look, I'll talk to Inej and see if we can do something. Meanwhile -"

"I stay here and sulk," Y/N finished, watching Jesper swing his coat on. "And run the 'business' whilst Kaz has fucked off."

"Exactly." Jesper vaulted over the bar top, knocking over a few glasses as he did. "And you do it flawlessly, darling," he said, kissing her cheek.

Y/N shoved him down the stairs and Jesper laughed loudly as he walked out of the club. She sighed to herself, crossing her arms as she looked out over the club, trying to work out what to do with the next few hours whilst she was on her own.

As she stood there, Y/N spotted Matthias and Wylan sitting in the Crows usual corner and found herself making her way across the room to them. At least she wasn't entirely alone that evening.

Wylan frowned at her as she slid into the booth next to him. "I thought you were on the job."

"Kaz didn't tell me about it," Y/N muttered. "Hence why I'm still here. You two working tonight, too?"

Wylan nodded but he looked sympathetic. "Matthias is helping me forge some letters."

"Didn't know you could forge stuff, Matthias," Y/N said, looking up at him with surprise.

Matthias looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'm not proud of it."

"When are you ever proud of anything other than your country and Nina," Y/N muttered to herself.

The three of them sat in silence for a while, Wylan occasionally asking Matthias a question or pointing out the writing didn't match. Y/N just sat there, fiddling with her knife as she tried not to let the isolated feeling building inside her swamp her.

Y/N looked over her shoulder as she saw Specht making his way towards them. "What business?"

"Some bloke is making a raucous outside the club, insisting on seeing Brekker."

"He's not here."

"We told 'im that and he insisted on seeing whoever's in charge," Specht replied.

Y/N shared a despairing look with Matthias. She sighed, looking back at Specht. "Fine, where is he?"

"In the meeting room by the front door," Specht said, gesturing vaguely to the front door.

Y/N and Matthias stood up and followed Specht to the meeting room - which also doubled as a storage room. As the door opened, Y/N winced slightly at the yelling coming from within.

" - I want to see who's in charge!"

"You're looking at them," Y/N said, glaring at the man, Matthias standing behind her with his usual, intimidating look on his face. Y/N's gaze softened as she looked at Anika, who looked a bit frazzled. "You can go, Anika, we got it."

The man straightened his blazer and cleared his throat. "Finally. I have a meeting with Mr Brekker."

"He's not here, can I help?"

There was visible disgust as the man looked at her. "I suppose so. Mr Brekker and I came to an agreement a few weeks ago and I came to get him to sign the documents."

Y/N frowned. "What agreement?"

"That's by the by, I just need someone to sign this." The man flourished a piece of paper and a case holding a pen.

Y/N glanced over her shoulder at Matthias. Matthias stepped forward and whispered, "I think something's wrong."

"No shit, Matthias," Y/N whispered back. "What do we do?"

"Well, I think... sign it and then send Anika and Pim after him, see where he goes," Matthias replied. "But use a -"

"Fake signature, yeah, I got it," Y/N said, nodding. She turned her attention back to the man. "I'll sign it."

"Excellent! Here's a pen," he flourished the case and opened it, holding it in front of him. Y/N frowned at the dramatics but picked the pen up. She signed the paper with a fake signature that looked a bit like 'fuck you, Kaz'.

"And to finish, a toast to our deal," the man said, somehow holding two glasses and a bottle of alcohol.

Y/N gave Matthias a wary glance but he gave her a subtle shrug. She took the glass and the man poured the alcohol into it.

"The deal is the deal," he said, clinking his glass to hers.

Y/N down the shot of alcohol and watched the man do the same. She swallowed it and set the glass down on the table.

"Right, I'll leave you to it," he said and quickly disappeared.

"What an odd little man," Y/N stated, frowning.

"Something wasn't right there," Matthias muttered as they walked out the room.

Y/N nodded. "Kaz said nothing about any business - or any random, weird men."

Y/N sent Anika and Pim after the men, with strict instructions to follow quietly, and returned to the booth, sliding in next to Wylan.

"What did he want?" Wylan asked, looking up from where he'd been drawing out a blueprint.

"Said he and Kaz made a deal and needed someone to sign it," Y/N explained. "It was all very..."

"Suspicious. Weird. Unusual even for Kaz?"

"All of the above, Matthias, all of the above," Y/N replied, leaning back into the chair. "Wylan, how're the plans coming along?"

Wylan began talking about the details and the issues with the plans, stopping every so often to make an adjustment or ask Matthias to write down the name of something.

Y/N was grateful Wylan and Matthias were still there. She didn't feel so alone and neither one had mentioned Kaz to her and, for once, it felt like normal. Like she wasn't ignoring Kaz and Kaz wasn't ignoring her and that nothing weird had happened.

Not that she completely understood what weird thing had happened. All she remembered was getting stabbed and then waking up and being engulfed in a hug by Nina.

Kaz, obviously, remembered it differently. But he refused to tell her how he remembered it.

Which had led to them falling out and ignoring each other.

Y/N swallowed, her throat feeling dry. A slight frown appeared on her face as a wave of nausea hit her and she grimaced. As soon as she noticed the nausea, a dozen other symptoms hit her. Y/N could feel her hands shaking, her skin becoming hot and sticky and the room was beginning to spin.

Matthias, who'd been standing next to her, drawing something on to the plans, glanced at her. "Y/N? What's wrong?"

"I feel.. weird," she said quietly, her voice croaky. She gripped the table, a wave of vertigo hitting her.

"How do you feel?" Wylan asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. He reached over and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. "Y/N? Do you feel sick? Hot, clammy - like the room's spinning violently and you feel like you're about to fall over?"

Y/N nodded and regretted it as her vision disappeared. "Yeah.. why?"

Wylan swore. "Have you drunk anything?"

It was Matthias' turn to swear. "That man gave her alcohol."

"So, I've been poisoned?" Y/N asked weakly, her skin quickly growing paler. "Great. Just adds to my already fantastic day."

"Did you keep the glass?" Wylan asked, taking Y/N's hand, his fingers pressing to her pulse point? "Anything that might say what the poison was?"

"What do you think?" Y/N said, her voice growing weaker. "He took the bottle... I think the glass might still be in the room..."

Y/N suddenly slumped to the left, falling off the booth, her body unable to support itself anymore. Matthias caught her and lowered her to the ground, cradling her head in his lap.

"Hey, stay with me, Y/N," Matthias said quietly, brushing her hair back from her clammy forehead. "Wylan, what do we do?" Matthias asked, looking up at him.

Wylan closed his eyes and paused for a moment. "Get Nina. I'll find the glass and see what I can do."

Wylan jumped out of the booth and made a beeline across the room. Matthias looked around and spotted Specht hovering by the bar.

"Specht!" Matthias yelled - his voice silencing the entire Crow Club. "Get Nina. Now!"

Kaz stood in the corner of Y/N's room, practically absorbed into the shadows, as he watched Nina kneel next to Y/N's unconscious body, a hand on her chest, keeping her heart going. Kaz didn't know what he was feeling. There were numerous emotions circling through him - the overwhelming ones being anger and concern.

His head was a constant swirl of what if, what if, what if and he couldn't think straight.

"How is she?"

Kaz winced at how hoarse his voice sounded. He quietly cleared his throat and lowered his head again, using the shadows to disguise his face.

"Fighting," Nina replied softly. "Wylan's working to find the antidote - if there is one."

"And if there isn't?"

"I'll keep her alive as long as I can."

"And after that?" Kaz looked at Nina as she remained silent. "Zenik, what happens after that?"

Nina's shoulders slumped. She looked at Kaz over her shoulder. "I'll try and make it as painless as possible."

Kaz clenched his jaw tightly, the leather of his gloves creaking as he tightened his grip on his cane. He pushed himself out of the shadows and walked out of Y/N's room, limping down the stairs to the empty Slat.

"Where you going?" Jesper asked as Kaz brushed past.

Kaz kept going. "Keep her alive."

"Kaz, you can't go!" Jesper yelled, throwing his hands up.

Kaz whirled around to face Jesper, his eyes blazing with anger. Kaz Brekker as gone and Dirtyhands had taken over.

"I'll do what I damn please, Jesper. Besides, I've got a pigeon to catch," Kaz said, a smirk pulling on his lips.

Jesper sighed, watching Kaz limp out the Slat, the lights seemingly dimming as he passed.

Inej sat in the corner of Y/N's room, legs tucked underneath her, Sankt Anastasia twirling between her fingers. A soft knock at the door tore Inej from her thoughts and praying. Wylan poked his head around the door and gave Inej a tired smile.

"How is she?" He asked, coming to sit on the ground at the foot of Inej's chair.

"Ok. Nina said your antidote worked. We've just got to wait for her to wake up," Inej said softly. "Kaz?"

"Jesper saw him leave hours ago - nothing since. I'm half tempted to send Jesper after him," Wylan admitted.

Inej sighed. "I'll go have a look for him," she said, sheathing her knife back into its holster. "Can you -"

"I'll stay, don't worry," Wylan said, giving Inej a crooked smile. "Go find him."

Inej clambered out of Y/N's bedroom window, pulling her hood up against the light rain that had begun to fall. It was late morning and Ketterdam was quiet. The only sounds came from the harbour as the sailors load the ships and prepared to set sail once again.

Scaling Ketterdam in the day was no different to night - the only thing Inej had to worry about was being slightly more visible than usual. But Ketterdam was always overcast or dark making visibility harder.

Inej checked all of Kaz's usual haunts - Fifth Harbour, the Crow Club and the Broken Heart bridge running over the Canal. There was not a single sign of him. Inej began looking around West Stave, wondering just where Kaz might have disappeared to.

It was as she leapt over yet another dark, damp alleyway that Inej paused. She moved to the edge of the roof she stood on and looked down into the alley, squinting her eyes against the darkness.

A figure, dressed all in black, was slumped against the wall. Inej would've dismissed him for yet another drunk if it hadn't been for the golden crow's head cane lying at the figures side.

Inej jumped off the roof and landed silently. She cautiously approached the figure in case it wasn't Kaz but one glance at the man's face and Inej knew, for certain, that it was Kaz.

"Saints, Kaz!" Inej exclaimed, hurrying over to him, kneeling at his side. "Kaz!"

Inej didn't touch him. She knew he'd hate her if she did. So, she kept her distance and waited to see if he was conscious enough to respond.

Kaz's eyes sluggishly blinked open, struggling to focus on Inej. "Inej?"

"Saints, what happened, Kaz?" Inej asked, taking in his busted lip, black eye and bleeding forehead.

Kaz flinched as Inej shifted and she stopped moving, keeping as still as she could - essentially treating Kaz like a scared, wounded puppy.

"Kaz, what happened?"

Kaz hissed as he tried to sit up. "Tracked down the man who poisoned Y/N... got more than bargained for."

"And?"

"They're all on the Reaper's Barge, I just didn't make it back before..." Kaz drifted off, his head lolling to the side.

"Kaz! Hey," Inej tapped his foot with hers and he startled awake. "Can you walk with your cane?"

Kaz paused, hesitating. He eventually shook his head. "No. But don't... don't touch my skin." His eyes flickered up to Inej, the dim light hitting his pale face littered with blood. "Please, Inej."

Inej nodded. "Tell me what to do, Kaz, and I'll do it."

Jesper should've expected something else to go wrong that night. He just hadn't expected it to be in the form of a broken and bleeding Kaz, barely being held up by Inej.

"What, were you trying to kill yourself?" Jesper muttered, taking Kaz from Inej, careful to keep his contact to Kaz's coat covered arm.

Kaz took a step forward. His knees buckled and Jesper tightened his grip, pulling him into his side and holding him up.

"Saints, Kaz," Jesper said softly. He was only now getting a better look at Kaz's injuries and it was scaring him. He'd never seen Kaz like this - to be fair, he'd never seen Kaz in love before.

"Y/N..."

"She's fine, Kaz," Jesper said, trying to soothe his friend without making it obvious. God forbid anyone obviously cares for Kaz. "Wylan got the antidote, she's fine."

Kaz nodded, half dazed. "Good."

And with that, Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel and a fool in love, fainted into his brother's arms.

"I should've got life insurance."

Wylan laughed quietly as Y/N slumped back into the pillows. "Bold of you to assume your worth something."

"Wylan!" Y/N mock gasped, a smile on her face.

She still looked exhausted and had bags under her eyes but she looked so much more alive than she had hours earlier.

Wylan had yet to tell her about Kaz. He was secretly hoping Jesper would appear and do it for him. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain to Y/N that Kaz had gone and hunted down the man who'd poisoned her, killed him and several others and gotten injured to the point he'd fainted in Jesper's arms.

To be honest, Wylan wasn't entirely sure he understood what exactly had happened or was happening between Y/N and Kaz and he didn't really want to know.

He had enough of an issue trying to understand his own love life.

Jesper must've heard Wylan's secret prayer because not even a minute later, he appeared from behind the door, knocking on the wood with a smile.

"Hello, gorgeous," Jesper said, leaning down and kissing Y/N's cheek.

Y/N smiled at him, sliding further down the bed and taking Jesper's hand. "Hi."

"Please can you stop almost dying on me," Jesper pleaded, squeezing her hand. "I don't think I can cope with Matthias on my own."

Y/N snorted. "Or Kaz. Speaking of the devil - where is he?"

Wylan stood up, scraping the chair against the wood. "Jesper, you... uh, you want tea?"

Jesper rolled his eyes, glancing over his shoulder at his boyfriend. "Coward."

"I know," Wylan said, beaming, as he left.

Y/N looked at Jesper, puzzled. "Jes?"

Jesper sighed, turning back to look at her. "Kaz left and didn't come back. Inej found him in an alley, injured and bleeding. He's fine, Nina fixed him up with help from Inej, but he's still out of it."

"Where did he go?"

"He... oh, why didn't I get Inej to do this? He went after the man who poisoned you. And, apparently, he killed them all and threw them onto the Reaper's Barge."

Y/N was silent. Painfully silent. "Where is he?"

"In his room."

Y/N looked up at Jesper. "Can I?"

"Yeah, course."

Jesper stood up and held a hand out to Y/N, helping her to her feet and putting a steady hand around her waist. Kaz's room was on the same floor as Y/N's - thankfully. It meant no stairs and Y/N could simply shuffled down the corridor to the old wooden, paint peeling door that belonged to Kaz.

Nina looked up as Y/N walked in and she instantly stood up, taking Y/N's arm.

"You shouldn't be up," Nina scolded, sitting Y/N in her vacated seat.

"How is he?" Y/N asked, her eyes on Kaz.

Nina sighed. "He'll be fine. He's still an ungrateful prick but he'll be fine." Y/N nodded. Nina looked at her. "You, uh, gonna explain what happened between the two of you?"

"I would if I knew, Nina," Y/N said quietly. "I don't actually know what I did."

"You didn't do anything," Jesper said, perching himself on the edge of the chair and putting an arm around her shoulders.

Y/N nodded again. It was all she seemed to be able to do. Nod. She couldn't think of words to say to Jesper or even Kaz. Nina seemed to notice her silence and came over, crouching down in front of her and rubbing her knee.

"Listen, whatever happened or happens between the two of you, I'll support you, ok?" Nina said softly.

"And if you want to leave, we'll help," Jesper added. "Kaz may be our boss but if you want out then we won't hesitate to help."

Y/N nodded. Again. "I'm staying," she said firmly.

Kaz didn't remember falling asleep. He didn't remember making his way back to the Slat - back to the warmth and comfort of the wonky building.

But somehow, he had. Because, unless he was dead, he'd never felt so at peace.

"You really are a twat, you know that, right?"

Kaz lifted his head, squinting his eyes. Jesper was sat in a small, wooden chair in the corner, left leg bought up to rest on the seat of the chair, his chin resting on his bent knee.

"What?" Kaz croaked, running a hand through his hair. It was then he noticed that he wasn't wearing his gloves. And that the top he was wearing wasn't the one he'd left in. "Jesper, what the fuck happened to my clothes?"

"They got covered in blood. Your blood if you want me to be specific," Jesper replied. "You gonna tell me what happened?"

"Found the man, killed him, tada."

"Kaz."

"What, Jesper?"

Jesper sighed, dropping his leg back to the floor. "Kaz, you almost died. Y/N almost died. Whatever is going on between the two of you has to stop because it is quite literally going to kill the both of you. So, I'll ask again - What happened?"

Kaz sighed as if it physically pained him to slow his mind down and explain to Jesper what had happened. Jesper just waited. He wasn't going to let Kaz win this one.

"The man who poisoned Y/N used to work at the Crow Club. I kicked him out after I got him skimming and I thought that was that. Apparently, he wanted revenge so, he came up with an 'elaborate plan' that wasn't that elaborate and it took me less than ten minutes to track him and his thugs for hire down."

Jesper looked at Kaz. "And?"

"And I beat the shit out of all of them."

"Whilst also having the shit beating out of yourself?"

Kaz gave him a withering glare. "I solved the problem."

"You got revenge."

"Same thing."

"No, you got revenge for Y/N because you didn't dare stay in the same room as her in case she died - like last time."

Kaz rolled his eyes. "We turning this into a character assessment, then?"

Jesper scoffed. "No. I'm telling you what I know. And what I know is that you, Kaz, are completely and utterly besotted with her."

Kaz followed Jesper's pointed finger to the ground next to his bed and his eyes widened a fraction. Y/N was lying on a hastily put together mattress, numerous pillows scattered around her, fast asleep. Right next to him.

"And she's besotted with you, Kaz," Jesper continued, his voice soft. "Now, for the love of all Inej's Saints, talk to each other. I know it's your least favourite activity in the world but you need to talk. If only to save you both from dying again."

Jesper stood up, scraping the chair on the wood as he did so. He opened the door and looked back at Kaz and Y/N. He gave Kaz a tired, slightly encouraging smile, and then left, shutting the door behind him.

Kaz looked down at Y/N and was slightly startled to find her looking back up at him.

"Hi," Y/N said quietly, shifting up onto her elbows, quickly looking away.

"Hi."

"You alive?"

"I think so. You?"

"Just about."

Y/N nodded. She pushed herself up further until she was sitting cross-legged on the mattress. She looked down at her lap, fiddling with a blanket.

"I know..." She sighed, closing her eyes. "I know you don't want to talk. I don't know why but, that's by the by. I just need you to listen." Y/N turned to face Kaz.

Kaz looked at her and was slightly taken aback by the ferocity behind her eyes. Whatever she was about to say, she'd clearly thought about it for a while. Not only that, she clearly meant it.

"I don't remember what happened after that job. I don't remember anything after I got injured. So, I don't know what happened between us - whether I saw something or did something, I don't -"

"You died."

Y/N trailed off and looked up at Kaz in surprise. "What?"

Kaz inhaled deeply, his jaw clenching tightly. "Jesper and I got you back to the Slat... to Nina. And as she was trying to heal you... your," Kaz paused, his eyes looking anywhere but at Y/N, "your heart stopped. You died on the table."

Y/N didn't dare breathe. She looked at Kaz, her heart plummeting.

"I watched as Nina tried to bring you back but there was only so much I could take. I left, accepting that you were... you were dead. But then Inej comes and tells me you're not and that you're alive and in one piece and I..."

Kaz trailed off. But Y/N didn't need him to finish his story. She could piece together what had happened from what little memories she had.

And as she pieced together the puzzle, she realised why Kaz had been so... Kaz.

And as the memories and the pieces came together in the silence of the late afternoon, Y/N had only one question to ask him.

"Kaz." Y/N looked up at him. She noticed that he didn't have his gloves on. "I... I don't know what Inej said to you. What Jesper said. Or what I said. I don't know what you said to yourself or what you've tortured yourself with. But I would be denying my true feelings to tell you that I felt nothing. And I think you know that. If you didn't, you do now. But I need to know something.

"If we decide to keep going with... whatever this is. Can you promise me that you will try fighting for us as hard as I've been? That you won't just give up when the ocean gets too tough?"

Kaz blinked at the ocean metaphor. He'd never told Y/N about Jordie. She hadn't meant Jordie - Y/N had her own relationship with the ocean, ironically. But it still hit Kaz. Hard.

"Kaz?"

He looked down at her. Kaz inhaled deeply, holding his breath slightly. He held out his bare right hand to Y/N. Y/N slowly reached up and wrapped her little finger around Kaz's own little finger.

"Y/N, I promise you that I will fight for us," Kaz said hoarsely. "Knives drawn, pistols blazing, fire in our eyes."

Y/N squeezed Kaz's little finger and gave him a smile. "That's all I ask, Kaz. All I ask."

Kaz nodded and dropped Y/N's hand. She smiled to herself as he looked away, pushing himself to the centre of the bed. Y/N laid back down and rested her hands on her stomach.

"Kaz, you do realise that if we weren't such drama queens, we could've solved this without almost dying."

Kaz let out a snort of laughter. "Well, darling Y/N, where would be the fun in that?"

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #angst #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker angst

[parkersbliss]

Part of The Crows

pairing: the crows x reader (all platonic)

warnings: shadow & bone spoilers? cursing?

wc; 800 ish

synopsis: the life of a crow trying to kidnap the sun summoner is not easy

a/n; this was fun to write will probably do more if anyone likes it :D

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

first things first

how did you become a part of this?

well..

lets just say you were an assassin

like the best one in ketterdam

and assigned to kill mr. brekker himself

you have full confidence that you can

but when you sneak into his office

he’s just standing there, leaning on his cane

“whatever he’s paying you, I’ll double it.”

“what?”

“join my crew.”

“you do understand I’m here to kill you, right?”

kaz shrugs, sitting on his desk

“I’ll double it.”

you were never going to say no

no one says no to kaz brekker

“yes, okay.”

“good. first assignment, go kill your old boss.”

and now you’re kaz’s personal assassin

you met jesper the next day

the first thing you do is fawn over his gun tricks

and he is more than happy to show off

“someone here finally appreciates me.”

kaz rolled his eyes

“is he always like that?”

jesper shakes his head. “he’s worse.”

then, you met inej

and as soon as kaz lead you to meet her, it was awkward

not awkward for them

but for you as you stood there and watched them just look at each other

there was something there

you coughed

“right. this is inej.”

you two instantly became best friends

you loved going places with her

more specifically, missions

she did the spying, you did the killing

and of course, we come to the big reveal

“one million Kruge?”

“to cross the fold?”

“money isn’t anything if we’re dEAD”

kaz shuts both you & jesper up with one look

“I have a plan.”

“do you now? just a reminder cant exaclty just walk through it.”

sometimes kaz wishes you came with a “very sarcastic” warning

obviously you guys take the job

and spend the entire fucking night trying to find a way across the fold

that’s eight hours of sleep you wasted with kaz of all people

running around ketterdam

which turns from let’s find a way across the fold to heartrender

and then you find the heartrender

take her to dreesen

“criminals.”

you resist the urge not to laugh

was it THAT obvious?

“mr. brekker, no business man worth his salt hires his first applicant.”

*cue threat from kaz and jesper showing off his gun*

“you wouldn’t.”

“no business worth his salt would bargain for what he could take.”

you cross your arms, smirking

oh it felt good to be the ones in charge

“two weeks ago he crossed through the fold on foot.”

your eyes bug out of your head at that

and now you’re supposed to kidnap the sun summoner?

you, jesper & kaz share the same look of “utter bullshit”

“her name is alina starkov”

BANG

milana screams

no one else flinches

“you have until sunrise.”

oh great, another late night expedition

“he doesn’t have a way across the fold, you guys know that.”

you shrug, “it’s kaz.”

“just take the bet,” jesper whines

inej takes a shot

“he’s obsessed with taking down pekka rollins.”

“well of course he’s obsessed with taken down the guy who’s paid off stadwatch to get away with murder.”

“It’s more than that. I’ve seen the way kaz looks when he says his name. He wants revenge.”

you raise a brow at jesper, you thought kaz might’ve told her already

then inej is being summoned

“you want company?”

“No.”

“I meant to-,”

“Just shut up jesper,” you said, patting him on the back

then in strolls mr. brekker himself

you don’t comment on the bruise forming on his face

“you all right, boss?”

kaz takes a shot, one that was YOURS

but you don’t say anything

“no. we’ve been wanted off the job.”

“by who?”

“who do you think?”

“did he recognize you?”

“if he did, I’d be dead.”

kaz checks his watch, “five hours till sunrise.”

“we’re off the job tho, right?”

god, that boy is so stupid

“never make a decision out of fear jesper, only out of spite.”

“well, greed always worked for me.”

“I prefer for the fun of it. or you know, sweet revenge.”

“you just like showing off your skills.”

“so do you.”

silence then “both of you, leave.”

you roll your eyes, nudging jesper

“lets go before kaz has both our heads on spikes.”

anyway

you’re functioning on no sleep running around ketterdam

and then inej asks jesper to kill someone for him

and then kaz finds a lead

and now you’re playing distraction with jesper as charming as ever

you’re so lucky you found the conductor

only after inej almost killed him

I mean seriously

“Don’t,” Kaz said

and then there’s a knife like inches from your head

“I’ll need 20 pounds of alabaster coal, a pack of majdaloun jurda and uh… a goat”

you begged to go get the goat

I mean literally begged

“kaz, pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE”

“(Y/N)…”

“Kaz.”

“Mate just let her go get the goat.”

“fine-”

“YES”

“You’re with me.”

“Oh for fu-”

anyway you get the goat

kaz grips his cane and looks at you with raised eyebrows

you’re just like clutching this little goat

with all the love in the world in your eyes

and kaz cannot understand WHY

but that’s kaz

then of course you see the conductor making deals he shouldn’t

“kaz you have your scheming face.”

“I’m not-”

“I don’t like that face.”

“For the record, you don’t like any of my faces.”

“I dislike this one the most.”

if kaz could, he would punch you

“yOU GAMBLED?”

addiction is real

jesper is a perfect example of this

“ITS FINE”

“THERE ARE PEOPLE CHASING YOU”

“THATS NOTHING NEW”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET IN”

land mine go boom

“please tell me you have 20 pounds of coal?”

“so slight snag in the plan…”

“we know you gambled it,” kaz deadpanned.

“I lost a little bit of money”

kaz gives him the look

“I lost all of the money, BUT I managed to steal 20 pounds of alabaster coal”

“this is sixteen”

“SIXTEEN pounds of alabaster coal”

“can we do it in sixteen?”

“never been done before.”

cue the dirty looks from everyone at jesper

you sit across from inej next to kaz

and then the tracks aren’t connected

mass panic, mostly from jesper

arker explains that it’s all fine as long as the volcra don’t attack

spoiler alert, they do

and one gets stuck on a spike

it just goes downhill from there

the coal is gone

“tHiS iS hOw wE dIE”

“jesper, gRAB THE GOAT”

“I’m not throwing out the goat”

“GRAB THE DAMN GOAT ITS NOT BAIT ITS FOR YOU”

inej grabs her knife and starts praying

“HUG THE GOAT AND SHUT THE HELL UP”

and then arker casually says you’ll definitely die with the volcra weight

BUT JESPER SHOOTS THEM ALL

so now everything is fine

then a volcra rips open the top

and now arker is screaming

Inej is praying

jesper might as well be aLMOST crying

kaz looks unfazed

and you’re

well you

you’re screaming AT kaz

“kAZ BREKKER I WILL HAUNT YOU IN THE AFTER LIFE”

“THIS WAS THE STUPIDEST IDEA EVER”

“HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?? DO YOU REALIZE WE ARE GOING TO DIE”

you don’t die

jesper shoots it

you lived

for now

you get off the train

brush yourself off, pretend like nothing happened

kaz coughs looking at you

“my promise stands true, by the way”

“is that so?”

“I will haunt you if I die”

“I have no doubt”

“asshole”

#I too would haunt kaz in the afterlife #this is my excuse to rewatch s&b #I’ve read the books as well so maybe I’ll do an ice court one #that would be fun #the crows #shadow and bone #s&b spoilers #s&b netflix #six of crows #crooked kingdom #the crows x reader #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #kaz brekker x reader #jesper fahey x reader #freddy carter #amita suman #kit young #kaz brekker x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #kaz brekker imagine #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader

[triptuckers]

Come back to me - Jesper Fahey

Request: yes! "Hi, how are you? Would it be okay for me request a Jesper fic? Maybe something where the reader and Jesper are together and she is also part of the Crows. Since she has a set of skills quite similar to Inej, the two of you are usually paired up during crows missions. On this particular mission you are also paired up with Inej while the others are off somehwhere doing their part of the mission. But then when the two of you don’t appear at the rendezvous point on the agreed upon time Jesper grows extremely worried that something might’ve happened. What completly takes him over the edge is when a wounded Inej appears stating that something happened that resulted in you getting separated from each other and that she was hoping that maybe you arrived already and that’s she doesn’t know what state you might be in." Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader Summary: When you don't show up at the rendezvous point in time, Jesper starts to worry about you, especially when Inej - your partner for the job - shows up without you Warnings:  angst, mentions of blood, death, vomiting, bruises, language Word count: 3.1K A/N: you ask for angst? I shall write angst TAG LIST (Jesper Fahey): @mufnasa @mmvi-cdxx @brick-by-brick553@treasureofmy-heart TAG LIST (grishaverse): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza@whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1@marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen

There's an anxious feeling in the air. Everyone's feeling it, too nervous to talk. But no one is as nervous or anxious as Jesper.

All of them are waiting at the rendezvous point. All of them, except for you and Inej. Kaz had told them to meet at midnight sharp, and almost everyone was on time. Even Jesper was, which is rare.

He'd expected you to wait there for him, to wave happily at him. You were always smiling a lot when a job went well. He was ready to greet you and pull you in a tight hug, but when he arrived with Nina, only Kaz, Matthias and Wylan had returned.

Jesper figured you'd be there, but he'd just have to wait a little longer. There was still time until midnight. But as the minutes grow, and there's no sign of you or Inej, Jesper is getting more nervous.

After a while, he can't take it anymore, and starts to pace around. He's fidgeting with his fingers or twisting his guns in the air. Anything to help him stay focused.

'Jesper, stop being so twitchy.' snaps Kaz. 'You're making everyone nervous.'

'They should have been back fifteen minutes ago.' says Jesper, matching Kaz' irritated tone. 'We all know Y/N and Inej are always on time.'

'Then worry in silence.' says Kaz.

'How the fuck can you say that?' says Jesper, getting frustrated no one seems to be as stressed as he is. 'Did you not hear me? They are always on time.'

'Well maybe-'

Kaz' voice is cut off by a sharp gasp from Nina. Jesper whirls around to see what Nina's looking at. In the distance, they see someone emerge from the shadows.

Whoever it is, they appear to be hurt. They're pressing a hand to their side and leaning heavily to one side as they walk.

Jesper's heart begins to race. He senses everyone around him tenses up as well. His hand is on one of his guns in case it's a trap.

Then the figure emerges from the dark and they see it's Inej.

While he should be glad to see Inej is alive, this makes Jesper even more worried.

Inej showing up, alone. And hurt. What did that have to say about your state? And where are you?

Jesper stands rooted to the spot, but Nina rushes over to Inej. She helps her to walk the last bit to the others. Nina starts to go over Inej' injuries, but Inej only looks at Jesper.

'We got separated.' she says, looking utterly miserable. 'There were guards we didn't expect and we would have a bigger chance of getting away if we split up. We were supposed to meet up again, but I never saw Y/N. I would have waited longer, but I need a healer or a medic.'

Jesper forces a nod at Inej. 'At least you're safe.' he says before peering in the distance, looking for you. He can't be mad that Inej made it back and you didn't. It's not Inej' fault.

'I don't know where she is or if she's okay.' says Inej, voice breaking as she speaks. 'I'm so sorry Jesper.'

'Don't be.' says Jesper, voice tense with anxiety. 'It's not your fault.'

Kaz steps in front of Inej, looking at her bloodied side.

'Matthias, Wylan, get Inej back to the Slat. Find a healer or a medic. And fast.' says Kaz.

None of them move.

'I could heal her here.' offers Nina. 'Then we can all stay.'

Jesper knows they're al worried about you. They want you to come back. Everyone always comes back. So you have to come back as well.

'It's too risky.' says Kaz. 'I need you here in case we find Y/N and you can still heal her.'

'Don't say that.' mumbles Jesper.

'Don't say what?' says Kaz.

'In case we find her.' says Jesper, repeating Kaz' words. 'We'll find her. We're going to find her.'

'Then we have to get moving.' says Nina. 'And fast.'

After Inej tells them where she last saw you, Matthias and Wylan take her back to the Slat, leaving the others behind.

'We have to split up.' says Kaz. 'We haven't been made yet, but no doubt they're going to send more guards. So be quiet, but fast. Find a way to signal the others if- when we find her.'

Without waiting another second, Jesper takes off.

He walks through the dark, listening for any sound. His heart hammers in this chest, and he's afraid someone can hear it. He's not sure if he even wants to find you. The thought of finding you heavily injured - or worse - is almost unbearable.

Right before you and Inej said goodbye to the others, you'd winked at him. Told him that you'd buy the first round of drinks that night. He'd laughed and said he would buy the first round, insisted on being a gentleman for you.

He'd never even considered you might not make it back.

Jesper manoeuvres through the dark, a hand on his gun in case he ran into trouble.

He's listening for any sound of you, or a signal of Kaz or Nina. Then he thinks of Inej, who got hurt. She didn't say how she got hurt or who was responsible. He should have asked her when he had the chance.

His eyes notice something on the ground, glistering in the moonlight.

Jesper crouches down to take a closer look at it. He thought it was water at first, but one look at the dark liquid and he notices it is blood.

Fuck.

Could it belong to Inej? Or one of her attackers? And if it wasn't one of those, did it belong to you? Was this why you didn't show up at the rendezvous point?

Jesper looks further ahead and sees more drops of blood. Occasionally there's more, indicating whoever it was that was bleeding had stopped, then continued to walk.

With newfound hope, Jesper follow the trail.

He might not like what he'll find, but if it was you, he could help. He didn't know a lot about healing and treating injuries, but he could help stop the bleeding. He'd signal for Kaz or Nina, and Nina would be able to heal you.

His pace quickens and he doesn't care how much sound he makes or who might hear him. If that blood was yours, he had to find you. And he had to find you fast.

Jesper walks around a corner and spots a figure in the distance.

They're walking slowly, occasionally stopping to lean against the wall. Then they push themselves up to keep on walking.

Jesper slowly inches closer, a hand on his gun. Then the person in the distance walks through a stream of light of a street light, and he recognises the hair colour.

'Oh, fuck.' he murmurs. Then he takes off in a run.

When he's right behind you, you turn around, knife in your hand. But Jesper can tell you don't have enough strength left in your body to fight off someone.

Jesper's eyes widen when he sees your blood soaked clothes.

'No.' he says. 'Oh fuck, fuck, no.'

It seems like his voice brings you back to reality.

'Jes?' you say in a hoarse voice. 'What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the rendezvous point.'

'Oh, saints, Y/N, this is bad.' he mumbles.

'I think you need to buy the first round.' you manage to choke out. And then you collapse in his arms.

'No!' says Jesper, louder than he meant to. But he doesn't care who might hear him right now. He's still got his guns and his quick shooting skills.

Jesper pulls you in his lap, pressing a hand to your bleeding side.

'Sorry.' you say softly.

'What on earth do you have to apologise for?' mumbles Jesper as he focuses on your injuries.

'M bleeding all over your coat. I know it's your favourite.' you say, pouting slightly.

'I'll get a new one.' says Jesper. 'Save your strength. What happened?'

'Inej and I got jumped. We ran. Inej got stabbed. Then I got stabbed. And I got shot. I also got punched in the face so I'll be less pretty with a huge bruise on my face.' you say softly, feeling your eyes grow heavier.

Jesper seems to notice and gently pats your cheek.

'Stay awake for me, love.' he says, his voice slightly trembling. 'Still need to buy you that drink.'

'Hmm.' you hum, briefly closing your eyes. 'Did Inej make it back?'

'Yes, Wylan and Matthias took her back to the Slat, she'll be okay. Like you.' says Jesper. 'Help is on the way.

You reach out and grab one of Jesper's hands. You smile weakly and Jesper shakes his head.

'No, no, don't you dare.' he says, tears forming in his eyes. 'Don't you fucking dare say goodbye, Y/N. This is not goodbye.'

'Just in case.' you say softly. 'In case I don't make it.'

'Don't say that!' says Jesper, getting frustrated with you. 'You're not dying on me now, Y/N, just hold on a little longer.'

'M trying.' you say. 'It hurts.'

'I know it does, love, just stay awake for me. At least long enough until Nina comes.' says Jesper.

'You know I love you, right?' you say softly, voice barely louder than a whisper.

'Don't say goodbye.' says Jesper. 'Don't go.'

'Say it back.' you say.

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'll tell you when you're okay, when Nina's taking care of you.' he says.

'Jesper, please.' you say, almost begging him. 'Say it back.'

'When you're okay.' says Jesper, tears now falling down his cheeks.

You squeeze his hand with as much strength as you can gather, silently asking him again.

'I love you.' he says softly. 'I always have and I always will.'

You smile weakly and feel your eyes become heavier. 'Good to know.' you whisper.

And then you close your eyes.

Jesper's eyes widen. 'No.' he says, softly shaking you. 'No, no, fuck!'

His fingers quickly search for a pulse, but in his panicked state he can barely concentrate.

'No, no, no.' he keeps mumbling.

He looks up, desperate to see Nina or Kaz. But there's no one. No one but you laying in his arms, closed eyes and a shirt soaked with blood.

'Nina!' he yells. He doesn't care who can hear him. Friend or foe, he needs someone.

'Nina!' Jesper yells again. 'Nina! Over here! I found her! Nina!'

He keeps yelling until his voice is hoarse and his throat sore. He keeps on yelling and yelling until finally, someone runs toward him in the distance.

'Nina.' he says weakly. 'I- uh- I found her.'

Nina immediately flexes her fingers and starts to work on your injuries. Jesper wants to ask her if you're going to be okay, but he's afraid of the answer.

While Nina words on healing you, Kaz finds you as well. His expression is blank as he looks at your limp body in Jesper's arms. He tries not to show it, but he's terrified as well.

Finally, Nina turns to Jesper.

'I did the best I could.' she says softly. 'We have to take her back to the Slat, find a proper healer. She might still have a chance.'

'Okay.' says Jesper, suddenly feeling numb, as if he no longer has any emotion in his body.

'Can you carry her back to the Slat?' asks Nina.

Jesper nods, rising to his feet while clutching your body to his chest.

He walks back to the Slat as fast as he can, followed by Nina and Kaz. He's trying not to look down at your face, or think too much about you.

Instead, he forces himself to focus on Nina's words.

She might still have a chance.

It was going to be okay. They'd find a Grisha healer who could help you. Who could heal you where Nina couldn't. You were going to be okay.

Back at the Slat, it looks like Inej only had minor injuries. She's sitting in a chair, fresh bandages peeking out underneath her shirt. She jumps to her feet when she sees you in Jesper's arms, and winces at the sudden movement.

Jesper doesn't say anything, merely spares her a glance as he starts to walk up the stairs to your shared room.

He pushes open the door and gently places you on the bed.

Jesper sinks into a chair next to the bed and allows his tears to flow freely. You don't look like yourself. Your face is pale, your shirt still soaked with blood. You looked like a stranger to him. He doesn't want this to be his last memory of you.

He has no sense of time, and when Nina bursts through the door, he doesn't know how long it has been. She's closely followed by a boy Jesper doesn't know.

Nina quickly introduces him as a Grisha healer, and the boy gets to work.

Nina watches Jesper, who is watching you.

'Jes?' she says softly. 'Are you okay?'

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'm going to throw up.' he says, and then he rushes to the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet. Nina rubs his back as he throws up.

He stays there, unable to look at you any longer and afraid he might throw up again. He's trembling all over and no matter how hard he tries it, he can't seem to make it stop. Nina stands between the door of the bathroom and the bed, watching both you and Jesper.

Finally, Jesper hears the healer speak up.

'That's it.' he says. 'I've healed her, she should wake up in a few days. Don't wake her, just wait for her to wake up on her own.' he says.

Jesper hears how the healer leaves, and Nina is back by his side.

'Jesper?' she says.

He looks over his shoulder at her, and is met by her smile but also her tear stained cheeks. Of course. You're their friend too.

'I'll change her shirt, okay? Maybe you can come back after that? Sit with her?' she says.

Jesper nods and pushes himself to his feet. 'There's clean shirts in the closet.' he says softly. 'Just grab one, doesn't matter if it belongs to me or her.'

He waits for a few minutes before entering the room again. Nina's changed your shirt and got rid of the bloodied shirt. Your hair is still messy and there's indeed a nasty bruise forming on your face.

But most of your wounds are covered in bandages. Jesper holds back new tears as he approaches you.

He slowly sits down in the chair and takes your hand in his. He's surprised by how warm it still is. He hopes that's a good sign.

'Y/N, love?' he says softly. 'Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to wake up, okay? Just come back to me. I still have to buy that first round of drinks. And I still need to take you to Novyi Zem to dad's farm. You still have to meet him.'

He reaches out to brush some of your hair out of your face.

'Come back to me, sweetheart. I need you. I can't do this without you.' says Jesper softly.

He sits with you for a while, just looking at you and holding your hand. Occasionally, someone comes in to check on you or Jesper. Eventually, sleep takes over.

Jesper wakes to the feeling of something on his cheek.

When he opens his eyes, he sees it's your hand. Your eyes are open and you're softly talking to someone who is standing behind him. When you notice he's awake, you offer a weak smile.

'Hey you.' you say softly.

At the sound of your voice, new tears roll down his cheek.

'Oh, saints.' he says, lifting his head and grabbing your hand with both of his, pressing kisses to your bruised knuckles. 'Fuck, I thought you weren't going to wake up.' he says.

'Can't get rid of me that easily.' you say. You look at the person standing behind Jesper. 'Thanks for the tea, Inej.' you say.

Jesper hears the door closing behind him. Though the didn't hear any footsteps, he knows Inej left the room.

You look at him again.

'Don't you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?' he says firmly. 'Never. Saints, that was awful.'

'Sorry.' you say. 'Your eyes are red.'

'Yeah, no shit. I thought you died in my arms. I threw up a lot.' he says.

'I thought I died in your arms.' you say. 'Next thing I know I wake up with Inej watching me so intensely I thought she was going to stare right through me.'

Jesper chuckles and pulls his chair closer to you.

'I'm serious, though.' he says. 'Don't do that again.'

'I won't.' you say. 'I asked Kaz to put me on some of the low risk jobs for a while. Just until I feel like I'm ready to handle more.'

'Smart.' says Jesper.

'I'm sorry, really.' you say. 'That you had to go through that. I can't imagine what if felt like.'

Jesper raises his eyebrows. 'You almost died and you're the one apologising to me?' he says.

'For almost dying in your arms, yes.' you correct him.

'Don't apologise.' says Jesper. 'Just tell me whoever did this so I can put a bullet in their head.'

This time, you raise your eyebrows. 'You think I let them get away?' you say.

'Well, I don't know. Maybe?' says Jesper. 'You could barely walk when I found you.'

'I did let them get away.' you say. 'But with at least three knives in their chest. There's a good change I hit a lung or some other vital organ.'

Jesper grins. 'That's my girl.' he says.

You smile at him. 'Now come here.' you say. 'As long as you don't lay your entire body weight on top of me, you can lay next to me.'

You carefully scoot over and make some room for him. Jesper climbs into the bed next to you and you rest your head on his chest.

'Thank you.' you say.

'For what?' says Jesper.

'Staying with me.' you say.

'Always.' says Jesper, and you feel how he kisses your forehead before you fall asleep.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#me reading this request & getting flash backs to that One Angsty kaz fic: 😏😏😏 #hehe I love breaking my own heart when writing <3 #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #grishaverse #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fics #jesper fahey fic #jesper fahey fanfics #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey fanfiction #jesper fahey oneshots #jesper fahey oneshot #shadow and bone fics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone oneshots

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Four

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more.

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Four

Elham had wiped most of the blood from her face, patching up what she could. She could feel the bruises already forming, one across her left eyebrow, which had a nasty gash through it, and one across her right cheekbone, as well as a cut and bruised lip, courtesy of Pekka Rollins. She was following Kaz down the stairs and across the club floor, headed to Jesper, who was seated at the bar.

Kaz was absolutely fuming. His pace was quick, even with his cane broken, and Elham, whose eye was beginning to swell a bit, struggled to keep up. They approached Jesper at the bar, who turned to look at the pair, eyes widening when he noticed Kaz's disheveled appearance.

"You alright, boss?" Kaz slung back Jesper's shot, earning a look of exasperation. He turned to complain to Elham, only to suck in a breath at Elham's appearance.

"Saints, love, are you alright?" Jesper gently held her chin in his hand, lightly turning her face towards the light to check her injuries. She pulled her face from his grasp, offering him a small smile instead, patting his arm.

"I've certainly been better, Jesper. Thank you, though."

"We've been warned off the job."

Jesper hesitated before questioning. "By who?"

Kaz turned to Jesper, a grimace on his face. "Who do you think?"

"Did he remember you?"

Kaz pulled his watch from his pocket, checking the time. "If he had, I'd be dead."

Elham flinched at that, and Kaz continued. "Sunrise is in five hours."

Jesper tugged Elham along and followed Kaz, who had headed for the floor. "Yeah, but we're off the job now, right?"

Kaz glanced at Elham, who just shook her head. "Never make decisions out of fear, Jesper. Only out of spite."

"Well, greed always worked well for me."

Kaz looked unimpressed. "Go guard the door."

Jesper sighed, and Elham gave his hand a quick squeeze, before letting him go. Once he left, Elham was left next to Kaz, who was running his gloved hand through his hair, scanning the room. He suddenly stopped scanning, before motioning to a guard at the door. "I have to handle this, go keep Jesper company."

Elham chuckled, turning to walk towards the door. "Babysitting. It's what I do best."

---

Jesper was messing around, slinging his guns around his fingers, doing everything he possibly could to annoy Elham.

"You're such an idiot."

He turned to face her smirking. "Yeah, but--"

"Jesper." Inej had appeared in front of them, making Jesper jump out of his skin, clutching his chest. Elham laughed at that.

"How do you do that?"

Inej didn't look amused. "...I need your help."

"Of course, love. Doing what?"

Inej stepped closer, a pained look on her face. Elham had stood up now, walking towards her. "I need you to kill a man for me."

Jesper laughed, scoffing. "Ugh, why me? You've got as many knives as I've got teeth."

Inej only frowned, murmuring quietly. "You know why."

"Yeah. But how is getting me to do it any different from you doing it? Besides, we've got the Valkyrie right here, I'm sure she'd be happy to."

"Inej, he's right, you don't have to do this, I can do it. Just tell me who he is, love, I'll handle it."

Before Inej could even let out a sigh of relief, Kaz called from down the alley, making them turn their heads toward him. "Jesper! New job, Elham, come with me."

Elham and Jesper turned back to Inej, but she was already gone. Elham's heart filled with dread, knowing she wouldn't be able to find and get to Inej before she had gone through with it. "Damn it, Kaz. What now?"

Kaz didn't even bat an eye. "Come along."

---

Elham paid no attention to Kaz and Jesper's conversation, something about needing a demo man. She trudged along behind them, hoping Inej was alright. She was beginning to feel naked without her sword on her, vulnerable in the streets of Ketterdam. Sure, she could fight, but nothing like how she could with her sword.

Jesper suddenly stopped, putting his hand on Kaz's arm, halting them. Kaz's eyes immediately looked down to Jesper's hand on his coat, and Elham as subtly as she could stepped in between them, separating the two. Jesper paid no mind to this, seeming to not notice. "Aren't we on Pekka's turf?"

"I go to Heleen now and ask for her buyout, she knows I need Inej and sets a price I can't pay."

"That's evil. Well, how do you know that?"

Kaz hesitated. "...It's what I would do."

Elham scoffed at that, shaking her head, muttering to herself. "Saints."

"Besides, Inej refuses to kill. Would you trust her in a matter of life and death?"

Before Jesper could even speak, Elham had stepped in front of Kaz, staring him down. "Did you really just ask that? Of course I would trust her, just as much as I would trust you!"

Kaz seemed surprised at her outburst. Jesper stepped from foot to foot, uncomfortable by the staring contest going on in front of him. "You want to tell me why we're scoping out a rival club?"

"To have a talk with an old business partner."

"The bouncers will know you on sight."

"That's why I brought you. Make sure they don't see me." Kaz turned to face Elham, referring to Jesper. "Watch them."

Jesper straightened up, getting ready. "On it, Boss."

Kaz smirked. 'I wasn't talking to you." And then he was gone.

Jesper scoffed, and Elham cracked a grin. "I am the babysitter, you know. Now get to work, try not to get us killed."

Jesper grumbled, pulling his pistol from its holster. "Yes, mother."

Elham rolled her eyes, slipping away from Jesper and to one of the nearby carts, pretending to look like one of the pigeons who'd come in from the harbour to visit the clubs.

A little while later, Kaz came down one of the back alleys in a hurry. Elham met his eyes, and saw the look of urgency. She quickly grabbed onto Jesper's coat and followed Kaz down the street, pulling him with her.

---

Elham was following Kaz still, running up the steps behind him. He had explained to her something about the Conductor, a man with a supposedly safe way to cross the Fold, and he was the man Inej was sent to kill, baited with her freedom by Tante Heleen.

They had made it to the top of the stairs, to see Inej leaned over the Conductor, a knife held in her hand, ready to strike.

Kaz motioned for Elham to get out of the way. "Don't."

Inej released the knife, sending it flying towards Kaz's head, it stuck into the board right next to his head. Elham sucked in a breath, Inej trembling. Kaz took a deep breath as well. "He's our way to Alina Starkov."

Inej grimaced, pressing her arm further into the man's neck. "Him?"

"Heleen knew it, she was using you to sabotage our mission."

Inej shook her head in disbelief. "She and I made a deal."

Kaz stepped towards Inej, Elham following. "It isn't worth more than what we get with him alive."

Inej turned to face the pair. "You'd choose him over my freedom?"

Elhams eyes began to tear, a lump forming in her throat. Kaz continued. "You assume it's one or the other."

Inej took a deep breath, turning back to the Conductor. She removed her knife from his neck, nicking at the skin, leaving a small cut. Kaz let his posture relax, moving towards the conductor.

Elham pulled Inej into her, wrapping one arm around her shoulder, the other moving to hold her hand. Kaz stepped in front of the two. "Conductor. I have a job for you. Get us to the Little Palace."

---

Not long after, Jesper and Inej were out preparing for the heist. Kaz and Elham were being let into Tante Heleen's office, who sat at her desk in fancy clothes, a cigarette lit. Elham glared, it taking everything in her not to launch the knife strapped to her thigh right into Heleen's chest. Just for good measure, Kaz stood in front of her, blocking her from view.

"I'm taking her, and when we return I'll have the buyout to clear the books. Until then, this is my collateral." Kaz had stepped forward, handing her a sealed envelope.

Heleen chuckled, taking the envelope and opening it. "What do you have that could possibly be enough?" She removed the piece of paper, revealing the deed to the Crow Club.

"The Crow Club? Well, I stand corrected."

Elham had convinced Kaz to use it as collateral earlier that night, promising him that the heist would pay off, and if it didn't work, she would do whatever it took to pay him back. Elham stepped around Kaz, who gave her a warning glance.

"Heleen...if we make it back, but without the kruge, you aren't taking the Crow Club. And you aren't keeping Inej. You're gonna take me."

Kaz's eyes filled with fear, his voice now uneasy. "Elham--"

"Don't, Kaz." She turned back to Heleen. "I'm half Suli, half Zemeni. I'll be your new lynx, or fawn, or whatever it is you decide to call me if it comes to it. I...I've got experience."

Kaz's face fell, his posture rigid. She hadn't told him that. Heleen raised an eyebrow, watching the pair.

A few months before Kaz had found her, nobody would hire her. There were no odd jobs to be found, and she was desperate. She found a little club at the edge of the Barrel near the harbour, who was taking in new girls. Elham had voluntarily signed a contract of employment, barely being paid enough to get by. But she wasn't indentured to the owner, and that was what was most important to her.

She did what she had to do. After the first month or so, it got easier. She only came in on nights where she had nowhere else she could go, and in exchange for a bed and food, and a small wage, she worked. After a few months, she had enough saved up to quit, to go look for other jobs she could scam her way into.

What Kaz also didn't know, is that the night he found her, she was working for the last little bit of kruge that could get her by. Another week or so, and she would have been right back at the club.

Elham wouldn't turn around. She wouldn't meet Kaz's gaze. Instead, she kept her eyes on Heleen. "So? Do we have a deal?"

Heleen stood. "Alright, little fawn. You've got yourself a deal. Now step aside, Mr. Brekker and I were talking."

Elham stepped back, lowering her gaze so she wouldn't have to meet Kaz's eyes. He slowly stepped forward, standing in front of Heleen, who was smirking. She held out her hand for him to shake. He slowly took it. "Inej is yours to lose now."

She peered around him, glancing at Elham, who was trying to be as stoic as she could. Heleen leaned in closer to Kaz, still talking to him, but her eyes kept glancing between him and Elham.

"It's all yours to lose."

Kaz nodded, turning around and walking out of Heleen's office, Elham following.

---

They walked back to the Crow Club in silence. Once they arrived, they made it up the stairs to Kaz's office, and Elham turned to go to her room.

"Elham?"

She turned to Kaz, keeping her gaze on the floor.

"Look at me."

She finally gave in, slowly glancing up, expecting to see disgust or disappointment. She saw none of that. Instead, it was a look of pity, which was almost worse.

"Do you need something, or can I go find Inej, get this moving quicker?"

Kaz's eyes softened, and he motioned for her to follow him into his office, a more private place. Once inside, he motioned for her to sit in her chair by the window. She did, slowly sitting, and he pulled his chair closer to her.

He sat across from her, trying to find the right thing to say. He finally settled on something.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I wouldn't have cared. I didn't look at Inej any differently when I found her, why would I look at you any different? And why, why the fuck would you do that? Offer yourself up like that to Heleen. I wouldn't have even brought you in there if I knew you were gonna do something as unbelievably stupid as that!"

Elham felt shame creeping through her, feeling uneasy in her chair, trying to sink further into it. She mumbled, her voice unsteady. "I don't know. I just knew that I couldn't let Inej go back there, not after seeing her so close to freedom tonight. And I couldn't let you potentially lose the Crow Club, not after watching you for years work to build it up. This seemed like the easiest option. If it comes to it, I can handle it."

"No."

"What?"

"No. You're not going back there. I don't care what I have to do, we're getting this kruge. We have to. I have to." Kaz was seething now leaning back in his chair, running his hands through his hair.

His broken cane was leaning against his desk, and Elham picked it up, bringing it closer to her. Kaz stilled, watching her movements now. She slowly slid it closer to him, tapping the end to the base of his ankle, like he had done so many times before to her.

His breath hitched, he was still not moving.

She offered him a small smile. "We're gonna get this kruge. Nobody's going back to Heleen. I trust you."

He gave her a small nod, his lips turning up into the ghost of a smile. "Come on, we're almost out of time. Let's go."

---

A/N - hey guys! i really hope you like this chapter, it's kinda long and it's a lot to handle, but we're so close to actually getting out of ketterdam and getting this heist moving, so i packed a lot in this chapter. i'm slowly gonna start releasing more and more about elham, so i hope you're ready for that. anyways, let me know what you think! feel free to comment or message me with anything, and check out my other work. thank you so much for the support!

#wattpad #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #six of crows imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone #grishaverse #ineffable #in my feels probably

[katyamorrigan]

‘A Hotel on the Board is Worth Two on the Geldstraat’ - Chp. 1!

Gang banner by @verdiris​

A Hotel on the Board is Worth Two on the Geldstraat

A trunk of contraband items ends up in the hands of the Crows, but the item that piques their curiosity most is the large box labelled “MONOPOLY”. Kaz is out of the Slat for the time being, so of course they decide to play it. Was there ever a mission more likely to fail than six criminals with lethal skills and undeniable emotional ties all trying to build a make-believe empire without killing each other in the process? Answer: yes - all of the above while attempting to pull off a heist at the same time.

Turns out board games weren’t the only interesting items shipped into Fifth Harbour that afternoon, and now the Razorgulls are interested. It will take all of the gang’s effort to break into two buildings full of rival gang members, regain possession of the contraband, and make it back to the Slat in one piece. And that’s without the inherent strains of playing at business negotiations with a group of decidedly underhand friends.

Join the Crows as they cheat, steal, lie, and bribe each other, all before the heist has even begun.

I am so excited to finally get to share the fic that I have been working on for the @grishaversebigbang​ over the last few months - A Hotel on the Board is Worth Two on the Geldstraat! Getting to take part in the Grishaverse Big Bang 2021 has been so much fun, and I have had the honour of working with an absolutely incredible gang of artists and the loveliest beta reader. It’s been an absolute blast, and this is one of my favourite things that I’ve written. Thank you so much to everyone that I’ve worked with, and I hope that you enjoy reading and admiring the story and art that we’ve created!

Here is everyone in my gang, with links to the work that they’ve created (some art may relate to chapters of the fic that haven’t been posted yet - the fic will be posted in its entirety within the next 3 weeks and the art will be linked within the fic on the relevant lines, but also there’s nothing that will spoil the story for you, so don’t worry!):

Corporalki: @davonysus​ (who is the most wonderful beta reader, thank you for everything that you contributed to this story!)

Materialki: 

@ciph3rrr​ with hilarious Crows-minus-Kaz Monopoly shenanigans from Chapter 1

@j-wirth​ ​with this brilliant Inej and Wesper moment inspired by Chapters 2 and 7

@bloodysusher​ with a gorgeous group moment in Chapter 7

@verdiris​ with some amusing Kaz geniusness from Chapter 7

@maximumbluebirdpatrol​ (link still to come)

@emmaxtw​ (link still to come)

There are 7 chapters in total, so I shall be uploading a new one every Tuesday and Saturday until 25th September. Look below the cut for an excerpt from Chapter 1, and if you want to read the full thing (and check out the collection of all the other incredible pieces created for the GVBB) then click either of the links. I hope that you enjoy!

AHOTBIWTOTG Chapter 1 Excerpt:

The front door of the Slat opened with a loud clatter, and slammed shut on itself seconds later. It made Inej jump in her seat as she sat going over ship documentation - which, as it turned out, there was a lot of - in the front room. Nina gave her a look, and Inej wrinkled her nose back at her; the Wraith didn’t startle easily, but equally, there was usually less banging of doors while she tried to organise her finances.

“Honeys, I’m home!” Came Jesper’s voice. “And I brought treats!”

“It had better be more exciting than that time you came back from Cilla’s Fry with meat pies,” Inej called back. “That was underwhelming.”

“Speak for yourself,” Nina chimed in. “I was more than happy to finish up those.”

“We know.” Matthias gave her a knowing look, and Wylan sniggered as she raised a single finger at him in response. 

The bickering that came from everyone trying to work on separate projects at the same time was one of the many reasons that Inej hadn’t made it past the first page of her sailing license. That being said, she joined in the chuckling at Nina’s expense.

“Oh, it’s definitely better than Cilla’s pies, but you’ll have to take a look for yourself.”

Jesper rounded the corner, a large trunk tucked under one slim arm. His face was bright from the brisk, cold air of the streets, and a bead of sweat dropped from his chin as he deposited the luggage on the table beside Inej. She sighed heavily as the wad of pages in front of her jumped with the sudden extra weight.

“Sorry,” Jesper grinned. She just rolled her eyes fondly in response.“Come on, who wants to see what I’ve got?”

Nina, Matthias and Wylan all got up from the neighbouring table and crowded around Inej and Jesper. It was uncomfortable having so many significantly taller people stood behind her while she was sitting, so Inej scooped up her papers and deposited them on the floor, taking their place on the table so that she could get a good look at the trunk.

“Where did you get that?” Matthias asked.

“Well, our dearest Kaz decided to put me on shipment duty and I had to wait around at the Exchange for a boat full of contraband to come in. It took hours, so as soon as I saw something that looked interesting, I used my innumerable skills to swipe it so that we could take a look inside.”

““Innumerable” is a long word for you,” Nina quipped. 

A bubble of laughter rose up amongst the group, and Jesper stuck his tongue out childishly. “Fine, no contraband for you.”

“No, I want to look!”

“Be nice, then. I get first dibs on anything cool because I found it.”

Matthias snorted. “What happened to the ancient rule of “finder’s keepers”?”

“I found the trunk, therefore I found anything that’s inside it by proxy.”

“Can we just open it up?” Wylan said impatiently. “I feel like we’re building expectations by arguing like this – it’s probably smuggled whiskey or something.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Kaz?” Inej asked. The others gave her a look of incredulity. “Where is he, anyway?”

There was a brief moment of looking at each other for answers, before Jesper answered decisively. “If he was so worried about what came in on the boat, he would’ve gone himself. And if he isn’t here now, then he’ll just have to accept whatever is left over from the spoils.”

“We aren’t actually pirates, you know,” Inej said.

“Not yet,” Jesper stage-whispered in reply, and Inej found herself grinning, pleased. “Gather around, then.” He beckoned everyone closer like a ringmaster at the centre of a performance. 

Inej was surprised to find that her heart was actually beating faster with the thought of what might be inside. Wylan was probably right that they were getting themselves worked up over nothing, but all the same, she couldn’t help hoping that they found something rare or exciting. Perhaps it was gold? Guns? Something dangerous? You could never know when it came to the imports of Ketterdam, and for once Inej was glad for the intensity of life in the city. It could very well be something extraordinary.

The catches on the front of the trunk lifted easily, but there was a thick knot of string around the middle as well. Jesper struggled to untie it, so Inej slipped a knife from her sleeve and cut it off with one flick of her wrist. Giving her a mischievous look, Jesper dug his fingernails under the lid and with a crackle of flaking rust, the trunk opened.

On top there was a loose gauzy scarf clearly intended to keep moisture out of the trunk on the long sea voyage, which had definitely served its purpose; the red print had blotted itself onto the inside of the lid, and there were water stains on it where it had protected the rest of the cargo. Matthias and Nina went to grab it at the same time, but it ended up in Nina’s hands regardless as he passed it to her with a shy smile.

“I thought you would want it, so I was making sure no-one else got there first.”

Wylan made an exaggerated gagging noise, and Matthias’ expression quickly reverted to his familiar scowl.

“Aha!”

Jesper reached forward and pulled out two pistols, both only a little rusty and with a single blue gem stamped into the body of each. With impressive speed he turned around and mimed firing two shots at the wall before holstering them beside his favoured revolvers.

As Matthias pulled out a slim soft-covered book, Inej realised that she was far too focused on the discoveries of her friends and was going to miss out on finding her own treasures otherwise. Lifting up two more scarves – this time green and blue – she found another couple of books which she handed to Nina. Her friend’s focus was pulled away from adjusting her hair under her newly matching scarf to flicking through the pages and wrinkling her nose hard.

“I don’t recognise the language, but I can understand it well enough,” Nina mused.

“Where did the boat come in from, Jesper?” Wylan asked as he opened a small wooden keepsake box full of golden rings in varying levels of ornate decoration.

“Kaz didn’t say, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t pay much attention.”

Nina tutted and continued her reading with Matthias peering over her shoulder. With fingers now covered in rings, Wylan pulled out a long fur coat that smelt of mould. Removing its furry cuffs from the case, Inej reached into the trunk for what seemed to be the last item: a big box made of thick card, with a green cover and the word MONOPOLY emblazoned on the top. The lettering was incredibly clear, but it didn’t look as though it had been done by hand or with a printing press. It had an odd shiny feel to the outside as well, like it had been coated in order to keep out the damp.

Inej sat it on the table and lifted the lid. It came off easily, and revealed a large square of that same thick card in bright red that unfolded into a larger board with regular markings on it.

“What in the Saints’ names is that?” Nina remarked, putting down her reading material.

“I have no idea. It was at the bottom of the trunk.”

“Is it a map?” Wylan suggested.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Inej murmured as she put the board down and looked at what was left in the box. 

Underneath that map-like object was a tray divided into several compartments, with little silver tokens collected in one, some colourful playing cards of an unknown variety in another, and some appealing little houses done in an unusual material in both green and red. Beside those lay a rack of what looked like currency, in the same shape and thickness as notes of kruge. Jesper immediately started rifling through it all, mixing up the various collections and inspecting them all with irregular attention. Although Wylan slapped his hand away with a tut, it clearly wasn’t out of lack of interest.

“What is it?” Nina asked again. Taking the board in her hands, she began to stumble through the words written on it.

“Collect 200… something, looks like it could be a currency symbol because it says “salary” after that, as you pass GO... Old Kent Road, another amount of money… sixty? Community chest, Whitechapel Road, same amount of money as the other square…”

As she turned it over in her hands, a slim white booklet fell out onto the table. Inej started forward and managed to snatch it up before anyone else did, although the gesture was useless as she immediately handed it to Nina, who skimmed over the first few lines and let out a delighted noise.

“It’s a game! A board game! Seems like you play by going around the board which has place names marked out on it, and you buy up the land so that you can build houses on it. And you compete to earn the most money.”

“Who’s sending weird foreign board games to Ketterdam?” Wylan said incredulously. “Are you sure it’s not got something contraband hidden in there somehow?”

Inej laughed. “Does a game based on financial gain not strike you as the most Kerch thing in the world? I can well believe a mercher bought this to educate their children on the fun of working under Ghezen.”

Wylan cracked a grin at that, and Nina snorted. She pushed the box towards him.

“Take a look if you want.”

He lifted up the tray of items and ran his fingers along the underside, then looked inside each of the little model houses as if there might be gemstones wedged in the base like on Jesper’s guns. Wylan tapped along the top of the board, but there were no hidden compartments or secret openings. It seemed as though they had genuinely come across some kind of entertainment from another country.

“Shall we play it?” Jesper said with a broad grin at everyone. “We’ve got nothing else on, have we?”

“I’m meant to have applied for my sailing license by the end of next week,” Inej said weakly, but she wasn’t much interested in her own excuse. This bizarre-looking game they had stolen by chance had already caught her attention far more than boat permits and crew-hiring documents.

“I’m happy to,” Matthias said, and Nina and Wylan nodded fervently as well.

“Perfect! Let’s not disturb everyone’s things down here, we can take it into another room.”

“Nobody’s bedrooms are big enough,” Nina complained. “Kaz is too cheap to give us enough space to actually enjoy our stay at The House of Brekker.”

“His bedroom is, though.”

Read more here!

#gvbb21 #gvbbfic21 #a hotel on the board is worth two on the geldstraat #six of crows #six of crows fic #six of crows fanfic #grishaverse big bang #kaz x inej #jesper x wylan #nina x matthias

[tswiftownsmyheart]

(A kanej fanfic)

The hall buzzed with voices. This amount of kruge must've put Kaz in a good mood for today, thought Inej. She walked through the gambling parlor, on her way to Kaz's room. She would've slid through his window as she always did, but she had some stirring news. Why not this, she had said to herself. She was looking forward to tonight. Even for her, it was one of the best nights she could think of. Outside the Slat, the crowd moved on as usual. She waited by the bar for Kaz to come out. He'd asked her to meet him out there once she had gotten hold of the much-awaited news. "Another shot Kalem," a voice said.

"Did not spend the night at a gambling parlor, Jesper? This day has surely been pulled out of the year," Inej smirked.

"What do you think this is my love?" Jesper retorted in his usual charming manner. She quickly gulped down the shot before he could even reach the table. "Hey! That's mine"

"Well go ahead, take it back," Inej grinned. "Another one for me, Kalem," he said. Looking back at her he asked, "So, what's the Wraith doing here? Anything you need my guns for?"

"I've been waiting for Kaz here, who should've been here a long time ago." Saying this she hopped off the table and walked to Kaz's door. She would've knocked but she'd learned better than that over the years. As she closed the door behind her, she felt something by her feet. A fedora. Kaz's fedora. She walked to his bedroom, but she wished she'd thought against it. What she saw would stay with her for all her days. Something she would've never dreamt of. There, by the window tumbled in a heap was a body. His cane was protruding from somewhere below his chest. The crow's head hung there, dripping with blood. His hair was over his face, disheveled. She couldn't look straight at his face. His gloves were still on but they looked like they'd been through a sleepless night. She heard a gentle plop as the fedora fell from her hands. She wanted to run to the body, hug it tight and mourn. The girl who'd survived the Barrel wanted to find the soul who'd dared to enter the place he would regret in his dreams and stab him with every knife she could hold. She wanted to end the life of the bastard who'd dared to take away Kaz from her. His life from him. A life he survived being the worst demjin you could dream of, she thought. The Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands, the boy who had been through too much, was no more. Rage shone brightly in her eyes. Her fury knew no bounds. She left the sad, mourning girl in the dark corner of her heart which hadn't been visited in long. She would deal with her later. Right now, the barrel would see the wrath of Inej Ghafa. That's when she saw what she should've long ago. A note. It laid on Kaz's table which was covered in papers and maps. She picked it up and dropped it just as quick. She drew her knives and jumped out the window. The golden lion on the paper shimmered as the light in his room flickered.

**************

"The killing was the best part of it," said one voice.

"I'd never thought it would stay the same but it did. It was so fun seeing the color fade from his eyes. Boss would've never allowed us in if he weren't sure of it," said another.

"I'm sure this means a raise. Oh the plans I have to spend it," said a third as all of them started laughing. More like cackling. In an evil undertone.

She would've pounced from the shadows and killed them and then and there, but she knew better. Her real aim lay in the room across her. She just had to find a way to get there. Brick by brick, she told herself. But how? She could've handled the two, but three? Plus there'd be more in the hall. She couldn't risk being seen. She wanted to finish Pekka Rollins. Make his worst wish come true. And she would. She then saw it. The vent in the roof. It was approachable from where she stood. She just needed a distraction to get there. Before she could think about anything, the distraction walked right through the door as if to serve her. As the man walked down the hall, people all around cheered. Loud and crowded. Just what she needed. She used the small dents along the wall to quickly climb the wall, and she was in the vents in no time. She wiggled through the vents trying to find an opening. They were too small, even for her. She felt them closing in with every breath she took. She heard a noise and lurched ahead just to find a grill. An opening. She moved towards it and pulled open the cover from the hinges holding them with one hand. Not all vent covers were connected to the vent. She'd learned that the hard way. She gracefully slid down into a dark void that seemed endless. No light, no sounds, nothing. She tried to find a wall, possibly a lamp or a door. She thought she felt a window. "Not that quick, Inej, is it?" a voice behind her asked. She jerked behind with a knife in each hand but all she could see was the dark. "You walked right into my trap didn't you little lynx?" She lost grip on reality for a second when she heard that name. Little lynx. Tante Heleen. The Menagerie. It all came flowing back to her. "Who are you? Step forward," she demanded. But that one second was all they needed. All around her she could feel the presence. She was about to slash her knives ahead of her but a number of hands caught her. She struggled, fought, tried to wriggle out, but they were too many. The knives were still in her hands. She tried moving her wrists when something, someone grabbed them out of her hands as if the blades didn't hurt the flesh it touched at all. She felt betrayed. They called her the Wraith, and she felt a tug in her gut when the shadows had chosen someone else to shelter. "Come on out you hellhound. Show me your face if you were raised in the Barrel."

That's when the lights filled the room. Every corner of it. No shadows spared. She looked at him right in the face. He grinned at her. Creepily. It felt familiar. The face, the voice. "What business? Who are you?" she barked.

"Oh, not a bad man at all. You're very polite though I see. I'm just here to talk to you." "I am not here to talk. Leave me alone. I want a meeting with Pekka Rollins. I need to even some scores" "Oh, you think he did that?" The hands holding her started laughing. She recognized some of them. They were from the halls.

"What do you mean, think? And what do you know about my business?"

"If your business is about Mr. Brekker and his cane, I know all about it my dear. I had a hand in it too"

"But the dim-"

"Oh, the note? Ha! that was easy to counterfeit. It lead you straight to us didn't it?"

"You mean-"

"Yes yes, I killed him. Very well now that we have got that out of our paths let's-" "WHY DID YOU DO IT? YOU HURT KAZ-"

"Oh no, I never laid a finger on your Mr.Brekker. He is quite safe. Asleep though. It's you I intend to talk to."

"I don't understand," Inej muttered after a pause. Then almost as if the epiphany struck her, she glared at him and exclaimed, "You faked it! That wasn't Kaz! You tailored him. That's what they were talking about."

"Yes you're quite smart indeed little lynx," at which Inej growled, but he ignored it and went on, "Now, if you want him to awake from the sleep he is in, we have some matters at hand. You worked in the menagerie before you became Brekker's spider didn't you?"

"I was slaved there, I did not work there"

"Yeah, whatever. Well, I need some work done. I need you to go back there and collect some information for me. It seems Heleen van Houden has been taking away my customers."

"And why do you think I am going to listen to a coward like you who couldn't fight me himself"

"Because if you don't, I kill Brekker and throw him in the harbor where no one will ever find him." She flinched at that. "Didn't he flee the room you kept him in? I head your guys talking"

"Did he now?" he said pulling away and glancing at his boys. That was all she needed. She elbowed one guy in his gut and he gave away. She lurched forward and broke his nose with her forehead. He doubled over. She picked up her knife and slashed two of them. Two more came but she used the boss, jumped over him, and attacked the other two. The guy on her right had risen, but one swift movement, and she had hit him in the shoulder and numb his arms. She then gashed at another's calf and he fell down. Someone got on her back, but she doubled over, pulled him above, and threw him down, then with a smooth kick, knocked him unconscious. She saw the boss scrawling towards the door and hissed, "Not so soon little guy." She pulled him back, made a rapid motion, and saw drops of blood on his shirt. "That's just a warning," she said holding a blade dangerously near his neck. "Now the business. Who are you? And where is Kaz?"

"I-I own the new pleasure house on the West Stave. Heleen had started taking away my customers hers so I-I needed someone to find me secrets. Leave me, ple-please."

She stared at him for a while examining his features. Something she knew. Something at the back of her mind. She was rummaging through her memories. That's when her eyes narrowed. "What did you say your name was?"

"Ajendro," he stammered. She saw sweat glistening on his forehead.

"You used to come to the menagerie didn't you?" "Some-sometimes..." With one unhesitating motion of her blade, she let the dead soul fall onto the ground, and she joined her home, her shadows. She scaled the walls as easily as you slide on marble. In a quick scan, she found the room Kaz was in. It had the smallest hole in the wall that could be taken as a window but it was all she needed. She quietly slipped inside just to find another dark room. Why they hated lights, she had no idea. This time the moonlight shone through the room illuminating it enough for her to see him though. He lay there motionless. His gloves are still on, she noticed. He had some blood on his face, which meant he had tried fighting his way out. Seeing him like that sent a shiver down her spine. She briskly moved towards him and whispered, Kaz. When he did not seem to respond, she called him again. She called him out a third time and his eyes flickered. "Inej," he murmured. He glanced around the room as if to get a hold of the present. She helped him stand up. "How did they get the Bastard?"

He ignored her and limped to get his cane which was carefully kept in a corner of the room. "How did you get here?"

"It was quite easy. They drugged you right?" Still no response.

"We need to get out now though. There are a lot of people outside." He slightly nodded. She could see he was still hurting. As he walked across the room, she could see his limp had worsened. "Can we take them?"

"Among the two of us, no. I might have a plan though. How's your leg?"

"Good enough to get us out of here"

She opened the door with the slightest click and looked outside. The noise had quietened but the crowd remained. She quietly slipped out and returned in a moment. She looked at him and a mutual understanding passed. Follow me. They slipped out, walking into corridors. He stopped her with her cane when they'd gotten a little far away. "Footsteps," he muttered. They slipped into an empty room in the hall. A huge open window lay open as beams of moonlight entered the room. The sky was clear for once. His hair glistened with sweat and his eyes were like the color of the sky when a storm is brewing. With Kaz, there always is, she thought to herself. She walked towards the window and glanced down. "How good are you with leaps?" she asked him, with a slight smile. He walked to her, looked down, and said "Good enough."

She took out a blade just in case and held out her hand. Hold it, you'll need it. He looked into her moonlit face and reluctantly took it. With that, they both sprung from the second floor of the mansion and into the darkness below.

She wasn't ever going to have a perfect prince. But when she looked into his eyes when they got below, she knew that her fairytale didn't need one.

Credits:

Cover page fanart- @eerna

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #ketterdam #hope you like this! #kanej #soc fanfic #kanej fanfic #kanej angst

[emmaannaelisabeth]

okay friends, this starts sad but turns into a crackhead comedy, so please continue reading. (tw: death) and for some reason, inej has spiderman's powers (kinda) which gives us a spider wraith, you're very welcome, yes. it's a marvel crossover-ish with ghosts.

and she dropped kaz, so he disappeared-ish and dirtyhands took over him or something - winter soldier feeling here y'all. and well, i don't know why pekka shows up, but he does. and this is crazy but oh god i wrote it so please read it anyway

~ 3,5k words of PAIN and CROW CRACKHEAD ENERGY

it's been a year now since she failed him, since she couldn’t catch him, since she saw him fall, and she knows she should stop looking for him in the street, that she should tell her heart to stop hoping, she should give up. kaz is dead.

he fell, he got shoved off the bridge and her webs couldn’t reach him. he disappeared in the waves.

and that's when she sees him, when she’s just about to give up all hope that he might have made it somehow. she sees him walking on the street, cane in hand, hat on his head. "kaz!" she gasps, throws a web and swings down next to him.

he turns around slowly, and looks at her. she can barely see him through the tears in her eyes. "I thought I lost you", she says and throws her arms around him, buries her head in his jacket, being selfish, not caring that he might not want her close.

"you're okay", she sobs, lets her fingers spread over his back, just to feel that he is really there.

kaz frowns and shrugs her off him. "who the hell are you?"

"kaz, it's me", inej says and puts a hand on his arm. coldly, he looks at it, before grabbing her wrist tightly and tilting his head to the side. "what do you want?"

"kaz, kaz, what's going on? you were, you were gone and i-"

"i've never seen you before", he snorts and raises his eyebrows, gives the smallest shake of his head. he lets go of her hand and goes, leaves her, disappears.

***

inej rushes home, tells jesper and wylan. "he's alive, I'm telling you, I saw him!"

they tell her she's seeing things, "you're not making any sense", jesper says, turns his gun in his hand. "kaz is dead, you saw him fall." he meets her gaze; they all know what he’s not saying. you dropped him. but then his face softens, concern glitters in his eyes. "don't fall with him."

***

so inej goes to nina, tries to explain. nina looks at her with sad eyes. "inej, I-" if anyone knows how it feels like to lose the one they love, it's nina. "I know it's hard, but at some point, we all need to move on."

“but nina, I saw him, it was him”, inej says, throws her arms out to the sides.

“if you say so…” she pauses, knows inej isn’t dumb, isn’t lying. “I’ll help you find him.”

***

they go back to wylan and jesper - if they are going to find kaz, make him remember, they need them too. as they enter, nina stops dead in her tracks. “wait”, she breathes. “no…” she gasps, rushes up the stairs.

“nina, what?”

nina hears it beat, slower and slower, fading.

badum, badum, ba...dum..ba..

nononono.

then it stops. ….dum… and it’s quiet. and she almost falls, it’s suddenly so empty.

nonono. NO.

she walks into the living room and feels the tears well up in her eyes. red hair, wet red hair. even redder with the blood in it. no.

she hears jesper sob, he’s sitting with wylan in his arms, his hand on wylan’s cheek, his thumb moving up and down the curve of his cheekbone. right where he always used to kiss him.

“jesper, what-” she breathes, hears inej whelp as she enters the room.

jesper looks up, distraught, and then he shoots a glare at someone across the room.

nina looks up, and her breath catches. it’s him, it’s kaz.

***

“kaz”, inej whispers. “kaz, what happened?” tears prick in her eyes.

he looks at her, rolls his eyes, oh not you again, raises his eyebrows, nods to wylan’s lifeless body.

“i earned my living”, he says, way too casually. “there’s five hundred thousand kruge right there.”

“murderer”, jesper hisses, his eyes burn behind the glittering tears, he almost glows with hate. he holds wylan’s body close to his, as if the act alone could bring him back, blow life into his heart.

kaz offers him a half smile. “i like the sound of that.”

jesper looks like he could explode… or shatter. inej can’t decide which fits better.

“kaz-”

“who the hell is kaz?” he says, spins around to face her. inej straightens her back, how is he so tall, all of a sudden?

her gaze wanders down to his blood stained hands, his ungloved hands. something is wrong. he didn’t flinch when she touched him, and he doesn’t wear gloves, and he doesn’t seem to remember any of them.

and he fucking killed wylan.

inej swallows. “he’s our friend”, she says. “he helped us all, he saved me.”

kaz snorts. “waste of time.”

inej feels his words like a stab to the guts, but she continues talking. “please, kaz, i know you’re still there.”

within the blink of an eye, kaz has closed his hand around her throat and slammed her into the closest wall. she gasps and looks into his eyes. she can see something glitter behind the coldness, she can see brekker in there, somewhere.

“you know me”, she gasps. kaz clenches his jaw, smiles - it’s more of a baring of teeth than a smile. he shakes his head.

“no, darling”, he squeezes harder. “i don’t.”

“kaz!” nina says, holds up her hands. “don’t.” she shakes her head. but kaz just smiles.

quick as lightning, he flips up the gun from behind his coat and pulls the trigger. nina falls to the ground, clutching her stomach.

jesper whimpers, sits on the floor, unable to move - his body is too heavy, to heavy by grief and pain. he isn’t strong enough to leave wylan’s side.

inej throws a look at nina, and then she snaps. she jumps, kicks kaz in the stomach with her knee, pushes him off her, hits him, makes him fall, presses her knee to his chest, pinning him down.

“spider”, he hisses, but inej doesn’t listen, she puts her dagger right to his throat and leans over him, fury burning in her chest.

“what did you do?” she snarls. “do you know what you did!?”

kaz raises an eyebrow, talks through gritted teeth. “i don’t care.”

then, he pushes her off him, and inej falls down on the floor. he kicks the dagger out of her hand and raises the gun at her. and inej looks around quickly, shoots a web at the table and pulls it towards her, pushing him, making him fall on his back, hit his head. the bullet buries deep into the ceiling.

“nina”, inej whispers, looks over at her.

“I’m fine”, she pants, still working on closing the wound.

inej makes her way over to kaz, another of her saints now in her hand. this time, she lets the tip cut his skin, just so he feels it, just so he wakes up.

“you almost killed her”, she hisses, almost spits in his face.

kaz looks at her. his eyes glitter with something new, and he almost looks… scared.

“who the hell is kaz?” he asks calmly, confusion staining his brow.

inej feels herself weaken, she takes away her knife. instead, she puts her hand on his cheek. kaz stares at her in confusion. “he’s… he’s the treasurer of my heart.”

kaz blinks slowly, looks away. “that line”, he says. “have I heard it before?”

inej nods, tears in her eyes. come back, come back, come back to me.

“who are you?” he squints his eyes.

“I’m the one who helped you.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“don’t you remember kaz? please, try for me, try”, she begs, strokes his cheek with her hand, just like she wished she could’ve done before.

then, kaz’s jaw drops. his gaze freezes at something behind inej, and she turns to look at it too, but all she can see is empty space.

“jordie”, he whispers. he shudders, tilts his face away from her hand.

I can help you, a young woman says in his head, and then there’s purple everywhere. a young boy with dark skin gambles before his inner gaze. a girl who loved waffles… when did he eat waffles last?

papers in his hand, a cane, a crow, he can hear his own voice in his head, asking someone to buy him a new hat. kaz lifts his hand to inej’s cheek, looks at her, confused, was that you?, and then, he rips his hand away, gasping, feeling sick. what the hell?

and then, a redheaded boy.

CRACK-

kaz’s eyes widen, and he sits up, shoves inej out of the way. “wylan”, he whispers, stumbles to his legs and feels his soul shatter as he lays eyes on the boy in jesper’s arms.

“I- I-” kaz stutters, feels the tears burn in his eyes, he feels tired, he wants to sit down. it's probably the grief. “jesper, I- I didn’t-” he takes a step forward, attempting to kneel beside them.

“don’t”, jesper hisses. “don’t you dare even look at him.”

“jesper, I never wanted-”

“you fucking killed him.”

“jesper”, inej says. “he wasn’t him, it wasn’t kaz!”

jesper doesn’t listen, he carefully lays down wylan on the floor and stands up. kaz doesn’t even have time to blink before jesper has thrown himself at him and pinned him against the wall, his forearm crossed over kaz’s throat.

kaz closes his eyes, shudders at having jesper this close; tears roll down his cheeks. “I swear I would never-”

“he’s dead”, jesper whimpers. “you shot him.” he blinks the tears away and reassures his grip on kaz. “I should kill you.”

“jesper-” kaz stops talking. his face screws up with pain and he bows his bows his head, accidentally leans onto jesper’s arm. his knees buckle and he slides down against the wall, panting.

“jesper!” inej shouts.

jesper lets go of kaz, almost as if he’d been burned. “I didn’t do anything”, he says, voice high pitched.

inej goes down on her knee beside kaz, checking him up and down, desperately. her gaze freezes at his waist. behind the dark coat, there’s a big tear in the vest, a gaping hole in his skin, red blossoming like a flower in summer.

no… no, no, no.

she looks down at her knee, at her blades. her world grows cold, she did this, when she pushed him off of her.

“nina”, she says, voice high, strangled.

nina says something, but inej can only hear the words that are passing kaz’s lips. “matthias?”

he can see the fjerdan boy behind jesper, kaz can see his strong build and his golden hair. “it wasn’t nina’s time yet, but maybe it’s yours, brother.”

brother? how could the person who called him demon, call him brother.

“what’s happening?”, kaz asks.

“you’re going to be fine”, inej says, somewhere above him.

matthias looks calm, he smiles softly. “I wanna show you something”, he says.

“you know you’re starting to look like Da, right?” a familiar voice says, and as matthias steps to the side, kaz’s weak heart jumps.

“jordie?”

jordie smiles brightly and walks up to him. “saints, you’re so old”, he says and reaches out a hand to correct kaz’s tie. kaz can’t believe this, what is this, what is happening?

he can hear inej… somewhere, and he can feel hands on him, he can see jesper’s blurred out outline.

“do I have to leave?” he asks.

“I’m afraid so”, matthias says, nods.

“I- no, please”, kaz turns his head, tries to look at inej, but all he can see is black dark hair, blurring together.

“you’ll be able to keep her safe, i promise.”

“we can play tricks with her”, jordie laughs and pushes on kaz’s shoulder. kaz raises one eyebrow.

“I’m not haunting her.”

jordie laughs again, and matthias chuckles softly. then, kaz’s eyes fall on someone in the background.

“i know you didn’t mean it, kaz”, he says, dries the tears off his face with the back of his hand. the redhead is suddenly standing right there, meeting kaz’s gaze. wylan bites his quivering lip and looks at his body on the floor, then at the blurred out jesper.

“but did you really have to?” wylan’s words utterly shatters kaz’s heart. “I was… happy”, the boy says. “I love him.”

“Wy”, kaz whispers. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did-”

“I do, kaz”, wylan says, sniffles, tries to smile. “but I do, i actually do, i can. I know it wasn’t you.”

“I know you loved him and I wish I could-”

“huh”, wylan chuckles. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“say what?”

“ask for forgiveness.”

kaz swallows. “do you forgive me?”

wylan huffs, breathes in slowly. “always.”

kaz smiles and then the world unblurs for a moment, and he sees inej right in front of him. “kaz, kaz, kaz come on”, she mumbles, claps his cheek. he knows he should pull away, feel sick by her touch, but… he doesn’t.

there are tears on her face. he frowns weakly. “don’t cry for me”, he whispers and lifts his bloodied hand to her cheek, dries off a tear.

and then he can hear her shout his name, and the world goes black for a moment, for a beat. jordie takes his hand, and then the world is clear, and he’s standing there, looking down at himself.

“see, wasn’t that hard”, jordie smirks, elbows kaz lightly in the side. kaz feels numb. I really look like Da. (especially with the blood)

inej cries and pulls kaz’s body into her arms, sobs into his clothes, buries her face in his neck. jesper turns away, wraps his arms around himself, and nina sits on the floor, on her knees, bloodied hands in her lap, head bent back, tears on her cheeks.

matthias sighs and walks up to her, puts a hand on his shoulder. and, almost as if she could feel him there, she leans her head against his arm.

“inej”, nina then says, reaches out and puts a hand on inej’s shoulder. “i can’t tell you how, I just know, I just know they’re okay. they’re safe with matthias.”

matthias smirks at kaz, as he walks up to them. he ruffles jordie’s hair and pulls wylan in for a hug. “wylan”, he says. “why don’t you teach jordie how to play the flute?”

jordie’s mouth falls open, he looks at wylan with big eyes. “you can do that?”

wylan smiles smugly, looks up at kaz with a raised eyebrow. “I sure can.”

kaz gives the smallest, most panicked shake of his head, wylan has ever seen anyone do. do NOT teach him that. I swear, wylan, if you… but jordie is sold. and kaz sighs deeply.

“I thought you wouldn’t even associate with my ghost, helvar”, he says.

“I will if jordie plays the flute.”

“saints”, kaz mutters and rolls his eyes.

***

but then, matthias tenses and his gaze snaps back to the door. wylan frowns. “matthias what…”

“run”, matthias simply says. “nina, run.”

nina’s head flies up and she looks around. inej is still holding kaz, and jesper just stands there, staring at wylan.

“inej, jesper, we need to go”, she says. “now.”

but neither of them will leave their hearts on the floor like this, held only by the arms of their own blood, comforted by their own coldness spreading within.

inej shivers, her head flies up, her body almost tingles, as her spider sense rings the alarm bells in her mind. but she shakes her head. “I can’t just leave him…”

“we’ll come back for them”, nina says, not knowing if they actually will.

“I’m not leaving wylan”, jesper whispers, his voice empty.

***

matthias sighs, paces around the room. “what’s wrong?” wylan asks.

“someone’s coming”, jordie says, stares at the door. “and they need to get out of here, now.”

jordie turns around looks his brother in the eyes, he teaches him how to make inej hear his whispers, just the way jordie whispered to kaz.

and kaz tells her to go, and at first she’s terrified, but as kaz talks again, she begins to understand.

and then wylan learns to whisper in jespers mind. jesper starts crying. nina smiles sadly, looks into thin air, right where matthias is standing.

***

inej can’t take both nina and jesper with her through the window at the same time - she’ll have to come back for nina. nina tells them it’s fine, she’ll manage.

and then, there’s a person in the door. “saints”, she mumbles.

“who do we- oh”, the man in the door says.

pekka rollins walks into the room and lets his gaze fall upon kaz’s bloodied form on the floor, and then on wylan’s crimson chest.

“you?” he looks at nina. she straightens her back, blinks slowly, tilts her head to the side.

“yes.” she smiles softly, looks at kaz’s body. “a shame”, she sighs, frowns and looks bakc at pekka. “a shame on such a pretty thing, don’t you think?”

pekka smiles. kaz snorts, raises his eyebrows. oh really??

“and van eck’s son?” pekka nods towards wylan’s still figure.

“oh”, nina looks over her shoulder. “yes, five hundred thousand for the boy and a million for the scoundrel.”

wylan crosses his arms. “five hundred? I’m worth more than that.”

kaz looks at him, raises an eyebrow. “he offered me a hundred, I wanted a million, I got five hundred.”

wylan shoots him a glare. “rude.”

“shut up”, matthias hisses and give them both an angry gaze, sharp as steel.

pekka nods slowly, tilts his head to the side. “well, miss, how would you like to work for with the dime lions, and not for van eck?”

nina feels her stomach turn, but she smiles. “and what exactly would that engagement look like?”

“what the hell, nina”, matthias mutters, and he rolls his eyes as she smirks at pekka.

“I can offer you more than money and protection.”

kaz stares. “for once, we agree, helvar”, he snorts. “what the hell nina, say no.”

“I know”, nina says, takes a step back. “that’s why I say no", she tells pekka.

kaz draws in a sharp breath. “she was on thin fucking ice.” matthias kicks him in the side with his elbow.

“I said no, you ass”, nina says in her mind, and kaz freezes. what the-

matthias just laughs. “she’s special”, he says. "be careful with what you say", he whispers.

"heard you, helvar", nina thinks.

kaz smirks back at matthias, for some reason he doesn’t look that bothered by having pekka in front of him.

but jordie, jordie looks like he could explode anytime, as if he was just about to burst into flames.

kaz bends down next to his brother. “don’t worry about him, nina will take care of rollins.”

“I’m not killing him, I’ve seen enough dead bodies today”, nina thinks.

“excuse me”, wylan says. “have respect for the dead.”

“you’re the one to talk”, nina thinks.

"you're the one alive."

matthias laughs, it's a deep warm murmur.

“he made me leave”, jordie mumbles, curls his fists.

“jordie”, kaz begins. “it’s-”

“remember how you saw me sometimes?” jordie frowns and tilts his head to the side, looks at kaz.

kaz nods. “didn’t amuse me much at the time.”

jordie smirks, rolls his shoulders. since he’s been dead the longest, he knows the tricks.

with the small twitch of a hand he makes himself visible, like a grey see-through shadow. pekka lays eyes on him and takes a step back.

“you took everything from me”, jordie hisses, voice ancient, chilly like frosty night air. pekka shivers.

nina turns, lays eyes on the boy but pretends that she didn’t see him.

“I don’t even know who you are”, pekka says, fear glistens in his eyes.but he does, jordie knows he does.

“who are you talking to?” nina asks.

pekka stares at her, points at jordie. “him?”

“who?” she looks around. “oh.” she laughs. “you mean the boy?" she huffs. "he's my little friend, you see."

pekka grits his teeth. “devil”, he growls.

“almost”, nina grins. “would you like to dance with me?”

“excuse me”, matthias cuts in. “jordie how did you do that?”

“witch”, pekka breathes and backs out of the room. jordie and nina follow slowly. “go away, go away!”

pekka stumbles backwards and hits the reeling of the stairs, falls over it, crashes on the floor, far below.

“whoops”, nina says and looks down.

kaz huffs, ruffles jordie’s hair when he comes back. “feeling better now, aye?”

“definitely”, jordie chuckles.

wylan nods slowly, lips pressed together. “he had it coming.”

matthias stares at them all. “you’re all horrible.” he looks jordie up and down. “you’re thirteen. you should be playing and laughing and having fu-”

jordie sighs. “i’m older than him.” he points at kaz without looking at his brother.

matthias looks at kaz, sighs, as if he'd given up all hope. “it’s in the blood, isn’t it?” he rolls his eyes. “demons.”

***

kaz whispers to her to come back, and within a minute, inej is there with jesper. jesper, who looks like he’s thrown up at least twice when swinging with her.

“okay, so you do it just like this”, jordie says and shows them how to turn visible.

matthias is first, and inej’s jaw drops. “what- matthias?” she sniffles.

he smiles softly at her and walks up to nina. “long time, no see”, he says to them both.

jordie comes after. “hello sister”, he says and walks up to inej, a beaming smile on his lips. inej covers her mouth with her hands.

“he thinks your nose is cute”, jordie whispers with his hand lifted up to his mouth, so that kaz won’t hear.

“hey”, kaz says and hits jordie on the shoulder. when he does, the world pops, and kaz realises that shit I just turned visible.

“hi”, he says, frowns and smiles awkwardly, his cheeks grow hotter than fire.

inej almost loses her balance. “kaz?” she whispers. he nods.

“i want to kill you”, she says, a smile on her lips, tears in her eyes.

“you did”, he smirks and corrects a strand of hair behind her ear. “my spider.”

inej turns to matthias. “is it really you?” she asks.

matthias nods. “not in the flesh, but in spirit.”

she laughs, kaz’s stomach flutters at the sound. “has djel treated you well?” she asks, looks at matthias.

“actually, i never met him”, he answeres, shrugs.

jesper stares at them all, his jaw unlocked from the rest of his head, hanging low, open. “what the-”

and then wylan stumbles into view. “yes!” he exclaims. “yes, I did it, I did…” his gaze lands on jesper.

a wide smile forms on wylan’s lips and he leaps forward, right into jesper’s arms. jesper sinks to the floor, eyes wide and chest not moving. nina huffs. “first time?”

wylan goes down on his knees beside jesper, buries his face in jesper’s short hair, kisses his temple, his forehead, his cheek. he cradles jesper’s head in his arms, presses it against his chest.

jesper sobs and hugs him back, as tightly as he can, despite wylan being half see-through and not really that physical as a real person.

“what-" jordie pauses, leans towards kaz, a confused frown on his face. “-are they doing?”

kaz huffs. “they’re being path-”

“they love-” inej lingers on the word, glares at kaz, who tries to hide his smirk. “-each other”, she explains to jordie.

“disgusting.” jordie shudders.

“no, it’s-”, inej stops when she sees kaz tap jordie on the shoulder, and she screws her gaze right through him. kaz mouths a “what?” and tries to hide his grin.

“you’re hopeless”, she huffs, shakes her head. and i love you for it, she thinks.

“I know”, he says, and winks at her.

#kaz brekker #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #mattias helvar #jesper fahey #nina zenik #jordie rietveld #pekka rollins #fanfcition #six of crows #soc #six of crows duology #crooked kingdom #crackhead energy #ghosts #i don't know what this is to be honest #but here it is

[neverhaveieverheardkazbrekkersay]

Gloom and Glare - Chapter 1.2

𝔬𝔫𝔢

Kaz

Kaz’s breath stuttered. The wraith was the Darkling. The small Suli girl best at gathering secrets for him. The one the shadows followed like dogs. Of course, it was her.

Kaz’s thoughts were racing. Circling around how obvious it was. She could appear out of shadows, making no sounds. Whenever she had entered a room, it had seemed to go darker. It was unbelievably obvious. How could Kaz not have realized it? How could he have been this oblivious?

“Inej.” His voice was low and raspier than usual.

“Kaz,” she replied, a soft smile touching her lips. Unlike what he thought of any Darkling.

He glared at her and the friendly tuck at her lips faded quickly. Her coffee brown eyes lock on the heartrender briefly. “Is he doing alright, Cronan?”

The heartrender nodded, his curls bouncing on his head. “He’s completely fine, General Ghafa.”

Inej Ghafa. At least now Kaz knew her full name.

It felt surprisingly unusual to see her in anything other than her usual dark blue gowns. The black kefta looked too dark on her and he could not help himself to think she looked like she disappeared in it. It was as if it was swallowing her.

Kaz wondered if she had her knives on her beneath the thick cloth. He is heard the keftas are bulletproof. Tailored to be strong enough to reflect them. Make Grisha more effective against Fjerdan and Shu soldiers.

Fabricators had the only Grisha powers that impressed Kaz. They were useful. His cane had been perfected by a fabricator. Perfectly weight for smashing skulls. And it would not be too bad to wear something working against being shot.

Kaz ground his teeth. This was not something he should be thinking about. He would never wear a kefta. He would not let anyone put one on him. Never. No matter who he was.

Inej was looking at him. Softly and something Kaz could only call carefully her gaze traced every inch of his face. It sent tingles over his skin. They reminded him of touch. Touch before his brother's death.

He cringed at the thought. For a moment he was close to retching. The memory was so much worse every time it came.

Kaz leaned back. The ropes for his wrists were in his hands now. “What business,” he growled.

“You know why you’re here, Kaz.” Inej stepped forward. Kaz glared at her, and she stopped. Yes, he did, and she did too.

How had he dared to think he could hide this secret from her. Her ability to gather them without anyone knowing was why he had gotten her to work with him in the first place. Just because she was working with him did not keep her from using this gift of hers on him.

“You can’t prove to anyone I really am who you think me to be.” Inej looked at him for a while. They both knew he was right. Even though he had given himself away already. But she did not have proof and prove was everything in Ravka.

“I’m sorry,” she said and gave the heartrender a firm nod. Putting the bag aside he walked up to Kaz.

A weary feeling ran through Kaz. Then the heartrender grabbed his wrist. Kaz had not even noticed they had exposed his arms. The touch of skin on skin was unbearable. For a second Kaz froze and then he snapped.

He ripped his arm out of the heartrender’s embrace, brought his other hand to the side of his head and before the red-haired man could even think to use his powers Kaz had slammed his head into the desk. There was a crack in the impact. Kaz hoped it to have been the heartrender’s skull.

The red-haired man groaned in pain. In a sleek motion, Kaz had the heartrender’s hands on his back and forcefully bent his fingers back until he could feel them break between his.

This time the heartrender screamed. A cold smile brushed over Kaz’s lips. Only as he twisted the heartrender’s wrists in his fingers he heard Inej’s voice behind the blood rushing in his ears.

“Kaz, stop!” He did not listen. Why should he?

With more force than necessary, he spun the heartrender around and pressed his sleeved arm against his throat.

Inej spoke a second time. Again, he did not listen. And as he pressed the heartrender onto the desk the room erupted into darkness.

Years ago, Kaz had been scared of the dark. Like every little kid had been. He had hidden beneath his covers from the monsters that he thought to be lurking in the dark.

“That’s silly,” Jordie had said, “There is no such thing as monsters, Kaz. Not beneath your bed, not in your closet.”

Jordie had been somewhat right. There were no monsters underneath beds or in closets. But the monsters were there. Dressed in suits and ties. Living in mansions and merchant houses. Calling themselves businessmen. Good men.

Kaz had gotten to know these monsters. Had fallen into their traps and fought them until dawn. Had tried to escape them and their influence. He had failed. So, he became more like them. He dressed in their clothes. Crept into their houses. Then he had become worse than them. They had fallen into his traps. They had tried to fight them and had failed.

He was the thing that came to them in their nightmares. He had become their monster. The thing he had feared, and the darkness had come to be a friend by his side. It kept him away from unwanted eyes and played into his hands. He embraced it with his whole self. He did not hide from it anymore; he hid with it.

But the darkness in this tent was different. Not as loose and helpful as the one in Ketterdam. It was thick and heavy. A pressure on Kaz’s shoulders he could not get rid of. Dripping with danger and loneliness.

The heartrender jerked up, throwing Kaz back into the chair, tipping over with it. He grunted. With precision, he found the ropes around his ankles, pulled them off and rolled to the side as he felt the heartrender go down on him.

Next to his head, Kaz could hear a knee hit the floor. Noisily he crawled back. He could hear someone shift on his far right. Quickly he got up and kicked to where the sound had come from. His foot met flesh. A second later the heartrender had wrapped his arms around Kaz’s leg. Kaz jumped back and slipped. He hit the floor hard.

Quicker than he thought the heartrender would manage to the red-haired man was on top of him. He knelt on Kaz’s chest and pressed his elbow to Kaz’s throat.

Kaz choked. He grabbed the heartrender’s shoulders and was just about to push him off when the man grabbed his wrist.

First, a rush of disgust and repulsion ran through Kaz. The skin on his mixed with the faint feeling of water. Then, only a fraction of a second later Kaz could feel the warmth inside him rise. The heartrender was an amplifier.

Kaz had not noticed the call before. Now he did. It rushed through him in waves. And the thing inside him begged to answer.

Kaz held it back. But it took too much of his attention. He would not manage to both fight the heartrender and fight this thing inside him off. He would have to decide on what to do. Push the heartrender off him or keep the warmth from escaping his grasp.

He cursed himself. If he had trained more, he would not have to choose. But he had not let himself. He had not wanted to. He had ordered himself to not even think about using this power.

The only time he had allowed himself to let the thing out was once a month in the slat. When everyone else was on their jobs and he was alone. It was the amount necessary to keep him from looking like a corpse.

He had been stupid.

Kaz decided against exposing himself. He would not give Inej and Ravka the pleasure of giving up this easily.

The air in his lungs thinned. The elbow in his throat seemed to grow harder and bonier with every passing second. Kaz hoped he could find the strength to push the heartrender off without answering the call. He tried.

Out of nowhere, there was sudden pain of a knife on the inside of his arm. Kaz growled and his concentration slipped. Instantly the world was wrapped in light. The elbow disappeared and air rushed into Kaz’s lungs.

Even though he could feel himself drained he used every force he had left to shove the heartrender off him. Within seconds he was on his feet. The darkness was gone.

Kaz spotted his cane on the floor. He grabbed it and swung. The crow-head barely missed the heartrender’s red curls.

The man crawled back, away from Kaz as he prepared to bring the cane back to his head. When Kaz saw the look in the heartrender’s eyes he hesitated.

The man stared at him with a mix of awe and fear on his face. For a moment they held each other's gazes. Kaz’s full of ice and hatred. The heartrender’s made of hope, wonder, and still fear. Then the red-haired man seemed to remember his broken hands and fractured skull and fainted.

 Tagging: @man-cardoor-honk-sand (If you want to join the tag list as a reminder for new chapters, tell me)

#fanfiction #six of crows #sun summoner #shadow summoner #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #chapter one #part two #gloom and glare #grab a book and run #six of crows alternative universe

[dregstrash]

Knife in the Back (ch.5)

A/N: I know I’ve been a tad MIA, but I did not forget about this incredible fic that I did with @wafflesandkruge

AO3 Link

Inej gathered her files again, hating how thin they were. For what seemed to have been such a messy killing, there was very little they actually recovered at the scene. The killer had been meticulous, almost every clue seemingly a red herring or meant to confound. 

A glance at the clock told her it was nearly five.The morning shift– Nina– would be coming in soon. She stifled a yawn and continued straightening her desk. She’d run home and try to catch a few hours of sleep before returning in the afternoon. Surely they wouldn’t mind, she’d clocked more overtime this week than most people did in a month. She shoved the pertinent files into her bag and made a grab for her car keys, but they were snatched up by Matthias. She tilted her head up and gave him a questioning look. He looked troubled.

“I’ll drive,” he insisted, his voice a low rumble. “You look ready to drop.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. How will you get back to your place?”

“I’ll take the bus.” His tone left no room for argument. “Let’s go.”

The drive back to her place was silent, as the moments between them usually were. Inej snuck glances at him, trying to guess what he was thinking. He didn’t know about her past, the one Kaz had hinted about back at the station. Was he angry Kaz knew more than him? Or that she was clearly hiding something big from him?

But it wasn’t as if Matthias was an open book either. He’d transferred to Ketterdam two years ago after quitting from the force a few states over. Zoya hated his guts for some reason, and Nikolai tended to ignore him. And he had some kind of shared history with Nina, Zoya’s assistant. She’d done plenty of digging into his background, but there were too many sealed records and dead ends for her to find anything worthwhile. Matthias Helvar’s past remained a mystery and she was fine with that as long as hers could too.

The car rolled to a stop outside her apartment building. Matthias switched off the engine, but didn’t move. His fingers tapped his thigh nervously. “Inej…”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“What Brekker was saying…” he hesitated, clearly not sure how to phrase whatever was on his mind. 

“It doesn’t have anything to do with the case,” she said sharply. “And it won’t affect how I treat him. If he’s guilty, I’ll arrest him.”

“I don’t doubt that. But if there’s anything you need to tell me…” His pale eyes stared into hers. 

“No. There isn’t.” She held his gaze for a moment longer before holding out a hand. He handed over her car keys without another word and got out of the car. Inej followed, locking the car behind her. 

The sun was just starting to come up, its rays brushing the sides of her shabby building with gold. The neighborhood was alright by Ketterdam standards. She could afford to move into a better place now, but her apartment was comfortable and she was capable of taking care of herself. Her more unsavory neighbors knew not to bother her. 

She thought Matthias was going to say something else, but he just shook his head and waved goodbye before jogging to the bus station a few blocks away.

When Inej returned to the station a few hours later, Matthias was nowhere to be found, but there was a hot cup of coffee left on her desk. Her lips curled as she saw the familiar crow emblazoned on the side of the cup. Brekker’s Brews. Had Matthias gone without her to interview the employees again?

Her question was answered when Nina swept by her, leaving the scent of fresh pastries and roses in her wake. Her friend was carrying a box of donuts from Brekker’s Brews and she promptly set them down in the break room. Inej followed, her stomach growling. She hadn’t had time for breakfast.

“You should stop visiting that cafe,” Inej scolded half-heartedly as she snatched a donut from the box. The rest of their co-workers started drifting in, lured by the promise of sugar. “The owner’s a hit man.”

“A rumored hit man,” Nina corrected, her green eyes sparkling with amusement. She took a seat at the table and pulled her chair closer to Inej. “Besides, if there’s anyone you should warn, it’s Wylan. He goes almost every day just so he can chat up that barista...Jesper?”

Wylan froze, his hand halfway to a pink-frosted donut. “I do not,” he insisted. Inej just took another bite of her donut, noting the redness in his cheeks. She liked Jesper well enough despite his association with Brekker. She still hadn’t quite managed to figure out if he was involved in Brekker’s less legitimate business, a fact that irked her to no end. 

“Ooo, donuts!” a new voice exclaimed from the door. Inej looked up to find Nikolai Lantsov, the captain of the precinct, making a beeline for the pastries.

Despite his youthful appearance and mannerisms, he was well known around the country for cracking several notorious cases in the last decade. Zoya Nazyalensky, the precinct’s lieutenant, trailed in behind him with a roll of her eyes. 

“All of you get paid to solve crimes, not eat overpriced pastries from a criminal’s business front,” she scoffed. At her arrival, the break room became a sudden flurry of activity as everyone muttered their excuses and cleared out. Everyone, whether they admitted it or not, was more than a little scared of Zoya.

According to one rumor, she’d been with the FBI before quitting and moving to the precinct after meeting Nikolai during a federal investigation. Yet another rumor she’d heard was that Zoya was a former Ravkan assassin. Which was absolutely ridiculous. She hoped.

Inej lingered behind, waiting until everyone other than the captain and lieutenant were gone before shutting the door softly. Nikolai was sitting on the table and trying to get Zoya to take a bite of his donut. She didn’t miss how their hands were interlaced, or the soft curve of Zoya’s smile despite her harsh words. Their relationship was the worst kept secret of the precinct. 

Zoya noticed her first. “Something wrong, Ghafa?”

“It’s the Brekker case. Something’s not right about it.”

“He claims Rollins is behind everything, right?” Nikolai asked as he dusted off his fingers. “The gang leader we haven’t been able to put away?”

“Yes,” Inej confirmed with a frown. She leaned against the wall, trying to recall Kaz’s exact words. “He said...the Razorgulls were shacking up with the Dime Lions. That we weren’t seeing the bigger picture.”

Zoya frowned. “Brekker is full of shit. But that would explain the rise in gang activity we’ve been seeing near the Barrel.”

Nikolai’s face had gone serious. “Rollins is dangerous. There’s a reason he’s still free, and that’s because he covers his tracks well. If he thinks you’re on to him-”

“I’ll be fine,” Inej interrupted, a bit annoyed. She didn’t need to hear this warning again. From her boss, no less. Zoya shot her a warning glare. 

“Alright,” Nikolai said with a worried look. “It’s worth investigating if you believe Brekker. If you need more resources, let us know.”

“Will do, captain.”

“And make sure you keep tabs on Brekker too. It would be great if we could finally throw that little gutter rat in jail along with Rollins,” Zoya ordered. With a toss of her hair, she left the room. Nikolai followed her after giving Inej an apologetic shrug.

Inej sat in the room a bit after they’d left, contemplating Zoya’s last words. It was true she’d dedicated much of her career to trying to catch Brekker, but it seemed for the second time ever, their goals were aligned. 

She’d arrived in Ketterdam not as a detective, nor an immigrant, but a victim. Snatched from her family in Ravka, she’d been transported to Ketterdam as part of a human trafficking ring. She still had the scars to remember her time by- two bracelets around her wrists where handcuffs had been left on too tightly for too long and a long scar up her forearm where she tried to disfigure the peacock feather tattoo they’d branded her with. 

And when she couldn’t bear being an object any longer, she sought out someone rumored to help any problem go away for the right price. And that’s when she’d met Kaz for the first time

Sighing, she stood up and began to make her way to Wylan’s lab. Hopefully, he’d have more evidence for her or this whole day would be a bust. 

The precinct was unusually empty today, with most of the detectives out at scenes or on vacation. Matthias was still a no-show, which was strange for him. He usually called Inej at least a week in advance for absences of any sort. Just as she found herself missing his silent but reassuring presence, there was the sound of pounding footsteps behind her. 

“There’s been another body,” Matthias shouted, not slowing his pace. Inej broke out in a run, trying to match his longer strides. 

“Where,” she demanded as they turned the corner and exited into the parking lot. Matthias’ ancient, but reliable, convertible was waiting for them. Inej vaulted over the passenger door as Matthias struggled to open his with the keys.

“By the docks,” he said, his voice unusually tight. Inej realized why a second later. Nina lived by the docks, in a shabby apartment that Matthias was always bugging her about fitting with better security. 

“Nina’s fine,” Inej said in an attempt to reassure him. “I just saw her inside.” He didn’t say a thing, just started the car and tore out of the parking lot.

The scene was the same as the one from the last morning. A body. Two gunshots. And all evidence pointing towards Kaz Brekker. 

Inej dropped the corner of the tarp she was holding and stood up, done with her cursory examination. Wylan rushed by, snapping photos at every possible angle. Matthias was a few feet away talking to a uniformed officer. She took the moment to step back for a bit and think.

Two bodies in two days was an escalation if she’d ever seen one. Even if the real perpetrator was trying to frame Kaz, they were doing a shoddy job of it. Kaz’s kills were always spaced out, never more than one every few months. Or at least the ones she discovered. This time, there was a rag dotted with blood that Inej was sure would match Kaz’s once Wylan finished running his tests. 

She caught a crime scene investigator who was rushing by. “Do we have an ID yet?”

“Mila Jansen. Twenty-five, a student at the local university. That’s all we have for now. We can forward her address to you in a few.”

Inej nodded, distracted. Wylan was waving her over frantically, mouthing something she couldn’t make out. She dismissed the investigator and made her way over to him.

“What is it?”

“Well,” he started, fidgeting a bit. “I think Kaz was telling the truth.”

“What do you mean,” she snapped impatiently. 

“The body, while dumped this morning, was killed sometime last night. Between midnight and two in the morning. And Kaz was-”

“With me,” she breathed, the gears in her head turning. “I have to go. Tell Matthias I’m going after Brekker.”

#knife in the back #six of crows #KANEJ #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #Kaz Brekker #inej ghafa

[nightskywriter]

To Save a Crow

A/N This fic was written as part of the GVBB. Please check out the incredible fan art by my Gang members.

Chapter Three - Matthias

Even after walking the streets of the Barrel for two years, Matthias still found himself lost more often than he would like. The winding roads and alleys had no order. It was as if a child’s scribbles had been used to design the town.

He missed a lot from Fjerda. His culture and people. The people who believed in his gods rather than insulting them. He even missed the biting cold that he and the other Drüskelle used to curse. It was better than the stifling heat of summers in the Barrel.

But he really missed the order.

Fjerdian towns and cities were built with order. Structure. His people’s leaders would gather and plan out a city before the first corner stone was laid.

Matthias slowed his walk as a rat passed under his feet, darting from one side of the alley to the other. He frowned.

Fjerda also did not have as many rats. They froze to death and the ones that survived didn’t look like the washed up and bareboned creatures of the Barrel. They were strong and hardy. Even the rats of Fjerda were stronger than those of the Barrel.

Generally, Matthias preferred taking the back alleys and small streets. Fewer people to run into and not as many stares to respond to with glaring. People in Ketterdam always stared. Always watched. Everywhere he went, he felt eyes on his back.

People of the Barrel were nosy and noisy.

Nina was noisy but she did it different. He liked her noisy. It was grounding and distracting at the same time. It was safe.

Matthias’s path intersected with the one main road he couldn’t avoid. The street was crowded with people walking past, pointing at the little shops, and speaking over the crowd to the point of shouting.

He hated it.

If he had the skill of Inej, he’d travel by the roof tops, but that wasn’t an option.

Matthias walked through the crowd. Most of the people hurried out of his way. If Nina were with him, she would probably say he was glaring. Which was true, but he had a reason.

He was annoyed.

Matthias almost stopped walking.

He listened to snippets of conversation as he passed. Mostly Kerch. But he’d heard Fjerdan.

If he ran into Fjerdan’s or – even worse – Drüskelle, he thought Kaz might actually try to kill him.

They had gone through so much to fake his death. He had even been shot by a young Drüskelle just to make it look realistic. If the Drüskelle found out it would all be for nothing.

Matthias scanned the crowd but didn’t see the grey of the Drüskelle uniform.

It sounded like Fjerdan but Matthias assumed it was just nostalgia.

As he continued, he walked faster. He could not jeopardize what little bit of peace he had built with Nina.

He finally reached another branch off alley from the big road. It was barely wide enough for him to outstretch his arms. He was almost positive this one led to the Crow Club.

“Excuse me, sir?”

The voice came from behind Matthias.

Matthias turned.

The man was shorter than Matthias. He had light colored hair and dark skin. His outfit was made of the flashy material that the Kerch dared to call fashion, but he stood and spoke like a Fjerdan.

Matthias looked down at the man, using his height to the fullest.

I do not want to fight you, Matthias thought, as if thinking the words would make the man back off. Do not fight me.

“Do you know the way to the Port? I’ve been looking for hours, but these streets…they have no organization.” The man laughed, Matthias didn’t.

“I do not.”

“Hmm. Too bad.”

The man charged him. Matthias saw the flash of metal.

The pistol was pointed at Matthias.

He slapped the man’s hand and the gun flew out of the man’s poor grip.

Matthias glanced behind.

Three more Fjerdian’s we coming, with the formation Matthias himself had learned in Drüskelle training.

The three were so focused on Matthias, they did not watch their backs. Rookie mistake.

Kaz came around the corner and Matthias’s eyes weren’t fast enough to follow Kaz holding a knife in one hand to it sticking out of the Drüskelle’s leg.

In one solid punch, Matthias knocked out the first Drüskelle. He hit the ground with a dull thud.

Kaz took down another Drüskelle with a swing of his cane.

Like everything about Kaz, he had turned his need for a cane into a weapon.

The last Drüskelle, Matthias grabbed by the throat and slammed into the wall.

The Drüskelle’s eyes went wide.

“Who sent you?” Matthias growled.

The Drüskelle looked over Matthias’s shoulder at Kaz, and somehow managed to look even more frightened.

“Our superiors. We’re supposed to meet with a few merchers.”

“A few merchers?” Kaz said, from behind Matthias.

The hairs on the back of Matthias’s neck stood up. He did not like being unable to see Kaz. They’d been working together for years, but Matthias doubted he would ever fully trust Kaz.

“Who?” Kaz asked.

The Drüskelle shook his head what little bit he could with Matthias still holding him.

“I don’t know. Kerch names. They are hard.” The Drüskelle gave a small nod to the first Drüskelle Matthias ran into. “He is the one that was supposed to know.”

Matthias could feel Kaz looking over Matthias’s shoulder.

“That’s a bit convenient, don’t you think, Hevlar?”

Matthias’s jaw ticked at Kaz saying his name. He was trying to keep his identity a secret. But then, for the Drüskelle to attack him they probably already knew who he was.

“Definitely,” Matthias said.

The Drüskelle shook his head.

“No, no, really! I do not know the names!”

Kaz was silent for a moment before speaking up.

“Hevlar, we’re close enough to the Crow Club. Bring him with us.”

Hevlar pulled the Drüskelle away from the wall and put one hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t try to run.”

The Drüskelle nodded that he understood.

Kaz gestured for them to continue through the alley and that he’d follow.

Matthias pushed the Drüskelle forward.

As soon as the he passed, the Drüskelle with the gun sat up. Matthias had thought the man was unconscious.

Matthias was looking down the barrel when the man pulled the trigger.

Matthias squeezed his eyes shut waiting for pain or death, but neither came.

Instead he heard the gunshot followed by a string of Kerch curse words.

He opened his eyes.

The Drüskelle was on the ground, a knife sticking out of his throat.

And Kaz was on the ground too, holding his bleeding shoulder.

Matthias froze.

Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, Bastard of the Barrel just took a bullet for him. Matthias didn’t remember a time he’d been more confused.

“Yes, Hevlar. Just stand there looking stupid. It’s what you’re good at,” Kaz said, before gritting his teeth.

The insult was enough to bring Matthias out of his daze.

Matthias muttered a few curses of his own.

He glanced at their prisoner, trying to figure out what to do with him. He decided on a quick punch. The Drüskelle was knocked out before he hit the ground, but Matthias didn’t really care.

He looked down at Kaz.

He couldn’t help but think about when Tressel was injured and bit a chunk out of Matthias’s arm. Kaz wouldn’t bit him if Matthias got too close, would he?

It was worth the risk.

Matthias scooted closer.

“Move your hand,” Matthias ordered.

Kaz glared.

“I can’t assess the situation if I don’t see the wound, Kaz,” Matthias said, annoyance leaking into his voice.

Grudgingly, Kaz moved his hand.

The wound was bleeding sluggishly and was quickly staining Kaz’s shirt. A flesh wound. In and out.

It looked like it hurt like hell, but as long as they found the Grisha healer Kaz hired after Jesper got hurt, Kaz would be fine.

“You’ll live,” Matthias said. “But your shirt won’t.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “No shit.”

He pulled himself to his feet, ignoring Matthias’s offered hand.

“We need to get back to the Crow Club,” Kaz said, straight-faced as ever. Blood continued oozing through Kaz’s gloved fingers. He pointed at the Drüskelle Matthias knocked out. “Bring him.”

Matthias frowned but picked the Drüskelle up.

Together, they made their way to the Crow Club.

**

Gang Members @thematicallycoherent @mosskrow

Taglist: @tenebrouscatastrophe

A/N: Please let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist for this series! Thank you so much for reading!!

#GVBB #Kaz Brekker #Six of Crows #To Save a Crow #Matthias Helvar

[iamarosegarden]

Better Than That

Part One  - Part Two  - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part NIne -

Ao3

The tag

Whoop this is part seven aka The Ingredients. Enjoy!

Kaz’s gravely voice was unmistakably amused, “My concubine, huh?”

“That’s not the point. I think you should take him up on his offer,” Nina said, shoving the window up further. Inej climbed in and set herself on top of the stone table.

“I assume you mean as an apothecary, not a concubine,” Kaz said dryly.

“She has a point, there’s been an awful lot of sick-beds at the Slate lately,” Inej said as Kaz hauled himself through the window. Nina shut the window behind him after he pulled his cane in.

“I think,” Kaz began, leaning on his cane, “that there are several ways that he could be of use. Give him the ingredients, but tell him I expect a better explanation.”

He had undoubtedly put on a scheming face, but without Jesper to comment on it no one said anything. Kaz didn’t want him to know anything about Wylan, partially because he knew Jesper would get upset about withholding the medicine and partially because of whatever had caused Kaz’s scheming face.

***

Jesper was tired of all this busy work. Kaz kept sending him on runs that anyone could do. Jesper didn’t know why he just knew he was tired of it. Specht was probably tired of it too, considering he had to be Jesper’s babysitter everywhere he went. He hadn’t even been able to swing by Piękni Ludzie to check on Wylan and his sick friend…

He was supposed to be Dirthands’ number two, but Kaz couldn't trust him to walk around and run errands without having someone there to look after him and keep him busy. Specht was next to him, shoving a revolver back into its holster harshly. Jesper winced a bit at the treatment as he slid his pistols back in place, running his thumbs along the handles.

He supposed not everyone cared for their weapons as much as he did, especially if it was something like the piece of shit Specht had to carry around. Honestly, Jesper could shoot anything, but he’d never trade his pistols, or any pistol, for a revolver. Six shots manually loaded with his aim was more than enough, but he found magazines more convenient to carry around.

At the same time, his pistols were handmade by fabricators, which meant they were more than just pretty, they were more efficient, more accurate, he could always trust the bullet would go where he aimed it. With other guns, the bullets -factory made- wouldn’t always be a good fit for the barrel. Sure, it worked, but the bullet knocked around inside the barrel. That did not make for a good shot. It wasn’t bad if you were firing into a crowd, but they didn’t do that often.

In the Dregs you needed accuracy. That’s why Jesper was Kaz’s number two, that’s why Jesper treasured his guns, he could trust them. They were part of the only thing keeping him alive right now. Well, that and his amazing charm.

“Jeez, go easy on that thing. I know it’s a piece of crap but it didn’t do anything to you,” Jesper said, swinging an arm around Specht’s shoulders.

“Made me miss my damn shot‘s what it did,” Specht said, shrugging off his arm and walking ahead.

“Oh, don’t blame that on the gun,” Jesper laughed, jogging to catch up, “you’re just a bad shot.”

“Only compared to you, Jesper,” Specht grumbled, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah man, your talent is wasted on these stupid runs. And so is mine! What is Kaz doing?” he put on a rumbly voice that bared no resemblance to Kaz’s, “ah yes, it’s a great idea to send two of my best men, nay, my two best men, on stupid drug runs and errands.”

Specht looked over at Jesper. “Pretty sure I’m just here to make sure you don’t go to the gambling dens, Jes. So you should probably be wondering why he’s tryina’ to keep you busy.”

Jesper would have said Kaz wasn’t hiding anything from him, except that it made sense. Sure, sometimes Kaz would ignore him and get icy, but that was just Kaz. Jesper had to try his hardest not to let it affect him. And to make sure Kaz didn’t get into those moods because it usually meant Kaz was going to “take a calculated risk” and get himself hurt in order for a “bigger payoff”. But Kaz had never actively pushed Jesper away like this. What was he hiding?

***

The dining room at Piękni Ludzie kind of reminded Nina of the mess hall at Os Alta. It was loud with clinking and clashing and chatting from both the tables and the kitchen but with an underlying unease. At Os Alta, it was the war, but you knew you were somewhat safe at Os Alta. Here it was just life, and you weren’t safe anywhere.

Really, Nina thought as the bag bumped against her hip from where it was tied to her belt, she should give it to Wylan as soon as possible otherwise she’d have to keep braving the glares from him and his pet Fjerdan. She started toward their table, plopping down next to Wylan and grabbing a scone from a platter on the table.

“Hey kiddos, where’s my patient?” she said in greeting, taking a bite of the scone.

“Oh, ya know, sick, in bed, on the verge of being discovered by Misstress Isidore. The usual,” Wylan replied, looking at Conrad across the table. Nina was honestly pretty impressed by how snarky the kid could be when he wasn’t worried or embarrassed, a little less so when it was directed at her.

“Don’t be like that, Wy,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “I got the go ahead from Dirtyhands.”

***

“Okay, so here’s the thing about water hemlock,” Wylan began, bounding up the stairs with Conrad and Nina on his heels. “Liling would have been dead much sooner if we hadn’t been giving her the charcoal, even if it was a watered down version. But now that we have this,” he shook the bag triumphantly as they continued up the stairs and into the hallway. “We can get rid of any traces of the poison with a concoction of items that counters the effects. It might not work. But I think it will. Probably.”

“I mean, what does she have to lose?” Nina said, stepping off the stairs behind them. Wylan didn’t bother turning around to scold her while he opened the door to Liling’s room.

“Will you get the other stuff?” he says to Matthias as he walks over to Liling’s desk, shaking Slava awake from where she was sleeping in the chair before pushing it out of the way. Wylan silently thanked his instincts for making him ask Jesper for this as he dumped the things out on the table. “This would have been better with fresh stuff but this will work, send my thanks to Jesper.”

“Maybe you can thank him yourself some time,” Nina said, slumping against the wall to watch him work.

Wylan didn’t really have room in his head to ponder what she meant by that. “Hey Slava, will you get me a knife from the kitchen or something?” Slava just stands up and opens one of the desk drawers, silently pulling out a knife and handing it to Wylan, who just shook his head before refocusing on the task at hand.

Of course, he had an idea of what he wanted to do with the ingredients. But it was a very, very vague idea. He desperately wished he had the tools to make something better, but right now he just had to prepare everything as best he could and pray. The leaves were pretty dried out…

He suddenly felt very out of depth when Conrad clattered back into the room with the metal plate and cup and lantern. He’d never done this before. Sure, he’d been helping Liling with charcoal but he’d never actually made a cure, an actual remedy before. This was all based on speculation, and even if he was correct these working conditions were not ideal. He ached for cleaner supplies, a cutting board and a mortar and pestle but again grit his teeth and cuts the lemon balm as fine as possible against the table. There was no way this was going to work.

He lit the lantern, told Conrad to fill the cup with water, and started chopping up the astragalus. “Do you have any clothes with mesh in them?” he asked Liling, who pointed to a top resting on the dresser. He peeled back the first layer of cloth and cut out a messy rectangle of mesh with the knife, staining the edges with green from the leaves.

Now the tricky part; he carefully stuck one of the acorns on the tip of the knife before holding it above the fire, waiting for it to catch. When it did he quickly used a hair pin to shove it off the knife and onto the plate. He did the same with two other acorns before so that he had a small bonfire of the three of them going on the plate.

Nina coughed into the crook of her arm and Wylan looked up for the first time in a while to see the room filled with smoke. He gave them all an embarrassed smile. The windows didn’t open so they just had to put up with it till it diluted. Liling was sat up in bed now, Nina having moved to the abandoned chair. Conrad and Slava apparently having gone downstairs so that Mistress Isidore didn’t get more suspicious than she already was. He would have asked what Nina was still doing with them, but one of the acorns let out a pop and he had to spin around and hastily fan out the fire out before they just burnt to ashes. Once they cooled downed he pried them open to add the dried insides to the pile.

He cuts a thin ribbon-sized piece off the shirt and ties the mesh into a makeshift tea bag. Now all they have to do is make the tea. He should probably leave and let Nina do it because he’s sure Mistress Isidore is having a fit. But he can’t force himself to leave, so he just hopes that Marel stepped in for him and continues to focus on the water. It’s nearly at a boil.

***

Watching Wylan work was exhilarating, in a way. Nina watched as he became surer of his actions with each completed step until at the end he handed the steaming cup to Liling with only the smallest traces of doubt on his face.

Liling carefully sipped the tea. “How long until it takes effect?” Nina asked, looking at Wylan, who pursed his lips before speaking.

“It should take about a day, but it will be gradual. Don’t expect to feel better right away.” The last part was directed toward Liling, who nodded and handed him the empty cup. He set it on the desk and turned back to Nina. “Why are you still here?”

Nina stiffened in the chair. “I just wanted to make sure everything went well,” she said. Wylan looked at her like it was a lie, which she could understand, but was still slightly offended. “I suppose I should leave then-

She was cut off. “Wait- actually, you should stay. Mistress Isidore won’t be suspicious if you’re not downstairs, and someone should stay up here in case something goes wrong,” Wylan said it softly like he really wished it wasn’t true, like he was still mad at her.

She smiled at him, “If you insist.”

So she stayed, she stayed until the workday was over, and Slava tried to relive her. She told Slava to get some sleep, and continued to stay, and watched as slowly, very slowly, a healthy flush returned to Liling’s face, and her fever broke, and her heart beat returned to something strong and steady.

#btt #better than that #soc #soc fanfic #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fic #wylan van eck #wesper #jesper fahey #nina zenik #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #iamarosegarden #iamarosegarden writes #iamarosegarden fanfic

[rubysunnday]

snap out of it

Requested by anon: Idk if requests are open but would you be willing to write something with Kaz, where the reader was with him when Pekka and his men threatened him off the job in the show? I think it’s be an interesting concept. If they aren’t open i apologize and you can ignore this. I love all of your stories and think you write Kaz so well.

A/N: Ok, I really enjoyed writing this one. Also, the Lotus is, apparently, the name of the pleasure house where reader was before Kaz bought her out. Yes, I made it up for once fic and now I keep using it, deal with it.

Summary: Y/N vs Pekka Rollins armed with Kaz's cane was never really going to end well, was it?

"You really are a prick at times, you do realise that, don't you?"

Kaz slid the door shut across his secret window that looked into the Crow Club and turned to face Y/N. "She told you."

"Of course she told me, you idiot!" Y/N snapped, glaring at him. "Would you really leave her here?"

"No, of course, I wouldn't," Kaz scoffed, offended at even the idea.

"Then why -"

"I don't know, Y/N!" Kaz yelled. He closed his eyes and all the anger just suddenly left him. "I don't know."

Y/N sighed. "So, what are you going to do? Because Inej can't stay here."

"I know."

"So?" Y/N looked at him and realised that Kaz had no plan. He had no idea. "Kaz..."

"What?" Kaz snapped, glaring at her. "Oh, don't give me that look. I'll work something out."

"Along with working out how to get across the Fold?"

"Do you enjoy pointing out the obvious?"

"When it annoys you, yes."

Kaz rolled his eyes, walking over to his desk. "I have a plan."

"Does that plan consist of more than the words 'I'm Kaz Brekker, don't question me?' Because if not, then that is not a plan!"

"Y/N, leave it," Kaz growled. "It's under control."

"Clearly it is! Inej is downstairs drinking shots, Kaz. She only ever does that when you've royally pissed her off!" Y/N yelled.

Kaz sighed and braced himself on his desk. "Y/N, I have a plan -"

"Constantly saying that you have a plan isn't having a plan."

"Will you stop it!" Kaz yelled. "I don't need your help, I know what I'm doing and I don't need you yelling at me and telling me that I don't know what I'm doing!"

"Because you don't know what you're doing!"

"Sometimes, Y/N, I wish I'd left you at the Lotus!"

Y/N stared at him. She took a shaky breath in and a hesitant step away from Kaz. "You really are a dickhead at times."

Kaz came from around his desk and took a step closer to Y/N. "Look, I have -"

He trailed off as the floorboards near the door creaked. Both of them froze, their argument on pause. Y/N looked at Kaz, silently questioning whether she needed to do something. Kaz subtly shook his head. He moved in front of Y/N and stood in the archway that separated his office from the rest of the room.

Two men wearing dark suits and bowler hats stepped out from the shadows. Y/N's hand subtly moved to the knives that sat at her waist as she waited for Kaz to make the first move.

Over the years of working together, Y/N and Kaz had formed what Jesper liked to call 'secret communication'. Neither one needed to speak for the other to know what was happening or what they were meant to do.

Kaz slightly nodded his head - a movement so subtle no one else would notice.

But Y/N saw it.

As one, they launched forward at the two men. Kaz swung his cane at the first man, stabbing him in the gut with the end of it. Y/N flipped her knife up into the air as the second man came at her, catching it and slicing it towards the man's face, catching his cheek as he dodged back.

He growled and aimed a punch at Y/N's stomach. She doubled over and coughed, her eyes watering as the air was knocked out of her. The man took advantage of her defences falling and kicked her legs out from under her. Y/N's knees slammed into the wood and she awkwardly fell sideways.

The first man grabbed Kaz's shoulders and slammed his head into the desk. Disorientated, Kaz couldn't fight the man off as he pulled his arms behind his back and held him back, restraining him.

Kaz wrestled, trying to get free, knocking a chair over as he tried to free himself. He risked a look over at Y/N, who had been forced to her knees by the second man.

Footsteps came from the archway and Kaz's head shot up. His eyes widened and he felt his heart plummet. Y/N gingerly lifted her head up and swore internally at the man standing above them both.

Pekka Rollins stood in the archway, smirking down at him. "Evening."

Kaz's eyes didn't leave Rollins as he stepped closer to him. His breathing was becoming erratic and he panicked as the ocean began to overwhelm him.

"Mr Brekker, is it?" Rollins asked, standing in front of Kaz. He glanced over at Y/N, a disinterested look about him. "Her?"

"One of his gang members, boss," the man holding Y/N said. He subconsciously put a hand to his bleeding cheek. "Bitch."

Pekka gestured with his hand and the first man threw Kaz's cane to him. Pekka approached Y/N and stood in front of her. She looked up at him with disgust and hatred in her eyes. She knew who he was - what he'd done to women just like her.

He just smiled down at her.

"Evening, gorgeous," Rollins drawled. "Sorry, this is a gentlemen's meeting only."

Before she could react, Pekka swung Kaz's cane and hit Y/N's head. She crumpled to the ground, blood trickling down the side of her head from where the beak of Kaz's crow head cane had hit her.

"There, that's better, isn't it?" Pekka said, sighing happily. He stepped back from Y/N's unconscious body and sat down in a chair opposite Kaz. "Right, where were we, Mr Brekker?"

Kaz didn't move his head as he looked at Y/N. She was still breathing - Pekka wouldn't kill her, not here, - but seeing her so still when minutes earlier she'd been yelling at him was disconcerting.

"- and then we'll be even," Pekka drawled and Kaz suddenly realised he was being spoken at.

"Not even close," Kaz growled.

"Hang on," Pekka said, holding a finger out condensendingly.

Kaz wanted to throw up. He wanted to scream and fight but his energy had gone. He was being weighed down but his clothing as he fought to keep above the water. The smell and sight of his office faded away and Kaz was back on the streets of Ketterdam, his hand in Jordie's. Kaz couldn't breathe as the memories overwhelmed him, even the mere scent of Pekka forcing him down into the darkness.

And then someone shoved him from behind and he fell forward. The door shut as Pekka and his men left and it took all his energy to simply not collapse. Kaz hung his head as he knelt on the ground, trying to get a grip on his trauma.

Kaz glanced to his right and the ocean left him suddenly, only to crash over him again in a tidal wave as he stared at Y/N. His eyes were locked on the blood trickling down her face - the blood that had been caused by his cane. Kaz swallowed and reached out a hand - a hand that he vaguely noted was shaking - and tapped Y/N's cheek. He recoiled as the cold waters rushed over him at the feel of her skin under his fingers, but as Y/N moaned softly, her eyes flickering, he relaxed.

Kaz fell back against the front of his desk, legs crumpled underneath him, and watched Y/N's eyes slowly blink open.

"Ow," she groaned, a hand going to tap the side of her head where the blood was. She pulled her hand away with a hiss of pain and slumped at the sight of the blood. "What happened?"

"Pekka Rollins," Kaz said quietly.

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?"

"Well, what did he say? What did he want? Kaz, in case you didn't realise, I was unconscious for that whole discussion so if you could fill me in, I'd be ever so grateful."

Kaz winced as he pulled himself to his feet. His body was aching, he was sweating and his hair was a mess. He grabbed his cane off the desk and took a step forward, seeing how bad his leg was.

"Kaz?"

"Get yourself cleaned up," Kaz replied, limping out the room with a surprising amount of speed.

Y/N lifted her head up off the floor and watched him go. He slammed the door behind him and she groaned, slumping back to the floor.

Kaz awkwardly limped down the stairs and stormed across the floor of the club to the bar. Jesper looked up as he approached and frowned at his dishevelled state.

"You alright boss?"

Kaz snatched Jesper's shot off the bar, downed it in one, slammed the drink back on the bar and winced at the alcohol before answering. "No."

Jesper stared in offence at his empty shot - the second stolen shot of that night- but said nothing. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question at Kaz, waiting for him to continue.

"I've been warned off the job," Kaz replied, refusing to meet Jesper's concerned gaze.

"By who?"

Kaz turned to look at Jesper, giving him a pointed stare. "Who do you think?"

Jesper swore softly. "Did he remember you? Like, did he know -"

"If he had remembered me, I'd be dead, Jesper," Kaz replied, pulling his pocket watch out. He clicked it open, the machine ticking rhythmically in his hands. "There's still time."

"For what? We're off the job," Jesper said, following Kaz as he stepped down onto the floor of the Crow Club.

"Never make decisions out of fear, Jesper," Kaz replied. His hands clasped around the head of his cane as he stared down at his kingdom. "Only out of spite."

A pause and then: "Well, greed always worked for me."

Kaz closed his eyes. One day - one day soon - he would probably end up punching Jesper. "Go guard the door."

Jesper's smile faded and he glowered at the back of Kaz's head before sighing and rolling his eyes, reluctantly dragging his feet along the floor of the Crow Club as he headed to the front door.

"Honestly, would it kill him to open up one of these days," Jesper muttered to himself. He stopped by the end of the bar and picked up his hat and jacket, flipping his hat onto his head. "Go guard the door, Jesper," he said, mimicking Kaz. "Do this, Jesper, do that Jes - Saints, Y/N, what happened to you?!"

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Jesper, wincing slightly. "Is it really that bad?"

"No, the blood disguises it nicely."

"Oh, I thought I'd gotten it off," Y/N muttered, spinning to look in the random, cracked mirror hanging on the wall near the cloakroom. She spun a bit too fast for her head to cope with and stumbled back. Jesper took a step forward and caught her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Steady on now, love," Jesper said, putting Y/N back on her feet. "Come on, let's go outside and I'll fix it."

"Thank you," Y/N muttered, letting Jesper lead her outside the club.

There was some sort of party going on in the street outside the club and numerous tourists and dancers dressed as the infamous characters of Ketterdam were dancing and singing as they passed.

Jesper sat Y/N down on an upturned barrel that had been left empty near the wall. He bought a tiny footstall over and sat in front of her with a bottle of alcohol and a clean handkerchief.

"So, what happened?"

"Pekka Rollins is what happened," Y/N said, wincing as Jesper began cleaning the side of her forehead. "Not to mention Kaz being his usual charming self."

Jesper snorted. "I heard he warned Kaz off the job."

"Oh, so that's what happened," Y/N drawled. "I was there but I was unconscious for the talking part. Pekka's men appeared, roughed Kaz and me up and then Pekka appears, says it's a 'gentlemen' talk and knocks me out with Kaz's cane."

"Oof."

"Oof to 'Pekka knocking me out' or oof to 'being knocked out with Kaz's cane'."

"Both. Although I suspect Kaz's cane hurt a bit more than the other one," Jesper replied, his voice quiet.

Y/N groaned. "Am I that obvious?"

"No, not at all. I've just got a trained eye." Jesper winked at her and Y/N giggled.

"You too, huh?" She asked softly, leaning into his hand as he pressed it against the side of her head, mopping up the blood.

"Yeah... but, you know, he's Kaz. I'm me. It'd never work anyway," Jesper replied. He looked at her, eyes narrowing slightly. "What else did he say to you?"

"Jes..."

"No, don't deflect, Y/N. I recognise that look in your eyes, darling. What did he say?"

Y/N sighed. She looked down at her hands and fiddled with a button on her tunic. "He said that sometimes he wishes he'd left me at the... at the Lotus."

Jesper's gaze hardened. He glanced at the inside of Crow Club and stood up but Y/N reached forward and grabbed his arm.

"Don't, Jesper, just... just don't. It's not worth it."

"Y/N -"

"Yeah, I know, alright," she said, her voice small. "I know. Just, please, leave it."

Jesper sighed but sat back down. "He's a dickhead."

"I know. Yet, here we are," she said, chuckling tiredly. She sighed and picked up the bottle of alcohol. "To being fools in love," she said quietly, smiling down at him. She took a swig from the bottle and handed it to Jesper.

Jesper kissed her hand as he took the bottle and smiled as a smile appeared on Y/N's face. "To fools in love."

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #angst #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker angst

[searchforthescars]

YO OKAY

SO I finally got myself together and wrote the SoC next-gen AU that I’ve been talking about. Yaay! 

Special thanks to @savagekaz , @henrymarsette , @dirtyhandsnet and everyone else who was passionately encouraging me to write this thing. It makes me really happy and I hope you like this. <3

If you want to see photosets or other extra content, click here.

Six years after the events of Crooked Kingdom...

As Kaz Brekker stared out the fourth-floor window, he twirled the slim gold band around his ungloved finger, trying not to imagine it where it should be: on the slim dark finger of a girl who was most likely dead and gone.

He heard her voice in his head, a painful but welcome reminder. “Don't be so dramatic, Kaz,” she'd say with that endearing eyeroll he had come to love.

“Then come home,” he'd say to her now.

He looked out his office window, moving until he could see Fifth Harbor, his eyes lingering on The Wraith 's berth.  Through the dark night and pouring rain, he couldn’t see much, but it was the thought that counted.  That berth had been empty for three years, her captain and crew lost somewhere between Novyi Zem and Ketterdam.  Kaz had tried to bring her home, had deployed his every resource, even asked Nikolai for help at great (and often irritating) expense, but the ship had vanished.

And with it had been the girl he wanted to marry. [Read on Ao3]

He tucked the ring into its box and snapped the box closed, hiding it in the false bottom of his desk drawer.  There was a sudden commotion downstairs, loud shouts that signaled a brawl or a heist.  Either way, he wasn't about to let his people get into any dirty business that he didn't have his hands in.

When he reached the first landing, he realized it was rapping at the door that was causing such a disturbance.  He strode for the door, ignoring the apprehensive looks of his people.  No one dared knock on the door of the Slat without a good reason, a reason that only Kaz Brekker needed to attend to.

He recognized the two boys on the doorstep - they were part of Inej’s crew, recruited after a raid done right on the edge of the Barrel.  His heart made a sickening leap in his chest.

“What business?” To his own ears, his voice was hoarse and harsh.

The taller one shifted a bundle in his arms.  Kaz didn’t invite them in out of the rain, merely regarded them with a cool stare.  “We came from The Wraith.   We have a message from Inej Ghafa.”

Kaz turned to the sitting room.  “Everyone out!”  No one argued but there were plenty of curious whispering, lingering stares that Kaz knew he would have to quell eventually.

He turned to them, inviting them in by posture though not by word.  “What is the message?”

The taller boy shifted the blankets in his arms, handing Kaz a worn scrap of paper.  Kaz forced his hands not to tremble as he squinted through the fading ink.

Kaz,

I hope this reaches you.  I haven’t much time and I know that most of what I could say will leave you with questions. The Wraith was boarded, its markings and flags stripped, and my crew and I were taken hostage.  It has taken us three years to plan even this small of an escape. If I run, my remaining crew will only suffer further.  I refuse to let that happen.

This little girl’s name is Jordan.  She is our daughter but I don’t expect you to care for her.  A good mother always and only wants her her child to be safe.  That’s why I sent her to you.  Please find her somewhere safe, someone who will raise her and care for her.  For me.

I can hear you laughing now. Yes, Ketterdam is not a safe place for a child.  But you can make a world for her that is.  I know because you did it for me.  So stop grumbling, Kaz.

I will find a way home to you. I’m sorry.  I miss you.

I love you.

-Inej

He took a deep breath, tucked the letter into his breast pocket and reached for the bundle in the boy’s arms.  “Careful, she’s asleep,” he murmured but his caution went unheeded to Kaz’s ears.

She looked like her mother, Kaz realized with a clench of his heart, though she had a very Kerch jaw.  She stirred, blinked sleepily and regarded him with bleary coffee-brown eyes.  “Where’s Mama?” she asked, her voice small.

Kaz couldn’t look away.  With a look, he dismissed Inej’s men, knowing he should let them stay, unable to bear the thought.  “Your mother… she’s not here.  She sent you to me so I could keep you safe.”

A little frown creased her brow.  “Are you my papa?”

Kaz held her a little tighter, pressing her head to his shoulder.  “I’m your papa, Jordan.”  The name was unfamiliar on his tongue.  He could have kissed or killed Inej for choosing it for their daughter.  “You’re safe now.”

She made a small noise and fell silent, nuzzling into his neck.  Kaz sighed, wondering what is was about this girl that made him want to burn down the world for her.

He really was horrible at caring for children.  He should ask Jesper for pointers.

“Get down!”

The bullet whizzed straight past Jordan’s ear just before she ducked.  The man in front of her fell as she turned to glare over her shoulder.  “You could have shot me!”

Alexander holstered his revolvers, a broad grin splitting his face.  Jordan tucked her knife into the sheath on her arm. “You okay, Vickie?” she asked, gingerly touching the cut on her cheek.  Alexander’s frown was one of concern.  She shrugged.   I’m okay.

“Don't call me Vickie,” Victoria grumbled, casually checking Alexander for injuries.

“I'm fine, Tori,” he murmured, batting her hand away when her fingers danced over a burn on his shirt. “It was me, not them.”

“As long as you're not spontaneously combusting, I'm happy,” Jordan quipped, checking the window. “Can you both climb?  We need to go before anyone-” Jordan sprang back as the windowpane shattered. “Damn!”

“You were saying?” Victoria snarked.  Jordan rolled her eyes. Alexander positioned himself protectively between Victoria and the only other exit in the room. Jordan reached for her knife again and Victoria made a grab for her pistol.

When the door banged open, both of the Fahey-Van Eck children almost shot their father.

“What the hell?” Jesper Fahey put his hands in the air until his children put their weapons down.  Jordan took a split second to appreciate the fury spreading over Victoria’s face.  “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here, Da?” Alexander holstered his revolvers for the second time.  Jordan sheathed her knife with an exasperated sigh, fighting a smile when she saw that Victoria practically had steam coming from her ears.

“I could ask you the same question.  This is a pleasure house.”

“It was,” Jordan shrugged, planting her hands on her hips.  “I convinced them to… relocate.”

“Spoken like a Barrel boss.”

Jordan bit her lip, scanning the room.  Alexander and Victoria shared an ‘uh-oh’ look between the two of them.  “Did you break the window?” She asked Jesper.

“Scheming face?” She heard Alexander whisper to his sister.

“Most likely,” she whispered back, poking him in the side to shush him.

“No.” Jesper’s response came out more of a question. Before Jordan could continue her line of thought, measuring the room’s dimensions and trying to envision what could have broken the window, rapid gunfire sounded from the back of the house.

“Run now, think later,” Alexander said, shoving Jordan in the back until she broke into a run, following Jesper and Victoria down the stairs.

They made it to the streets, narrowly skirting heavy gunfire, their feet loud on the streets.  Jordan had to smile when she saw Jesper grinning, presumably thinking of his glory days.

“That was something,” she breathed, watching her breath float away on the cold wind.  She cataloged their successes.  Twenty-some girls were freed and, while Alexander had given chase to the man who owned the pleasure house, Victoria had uncovered very interesting financial documents that would surely cause the man’s ruin at the Exchange.

Alexander appeared at her side, materializing from the shadows, his blue eyes and dark skin glowing in the lights of the street lamp. “We did good.”

Jordan saw Victoria showing Jesper the papers she retrieved from the pleasure house’s office.  “Yeah,” she agreed.  “Not bad.”

They made it to Victoria’s favorite waffle house, a rickety building crammed between two houses.  Jordan and Alexander shared a plate of chocolate-chip waffles while Jesper and Victoria ordered heaping plates of their own.

Victoria was lean and pale, all sharp angles and messy reddish-brown hair.  When she smiled, the world seemed to light up.  Jordan watched heads turn across the restaurant when she laughed.  Alexander’s eyes crinkled around the edges, fondness playing at his features.  As polar as they were to one another, there was real unreplicatable love between them.

Next to them both, Jordan felt plain and inadequate.  Distasteful people described her as exotic, with her brown Suli skin and matching eyes, but she preferred the anonymity that her father’s looks provided.  She was often jealous of Victoria and Wylan.  No one ever stared at them when they walked down the street.

Alexander shoved the whipped cream onto Jordan’s side of the waffles.  “She likes it,” he said to his father’s raised eyebrow.

“And you don’t?” Jesper pretended to be dramatically wounded.  “Whose son are you?”  Alexander laughed under his breath while Victoria rolled her eyes. “Good to see you’re not at that point yet where you’re embarrassed by your father’s behavior.”

Jordan could never tell if he was kidding.  She wasn’t great with this sort of thing.

She took a bite of her waffles, letting the whipped cream melt on her tongue.  The cut on her cheek stung when she chewed.  Alexander touched it hesitantly with the back of his hand.  His skin was cool.  “You should clean that out.”

She shrugged.  “First food.  Then sleep.”

Alexander’s hand dropped from her cheek.  His fingers tangled in a strand of her hair.  She tried not to shiver.  “Food, personal care, sleep.  In that order.”

Jesper was too busy reading over Victoria’s stolen document to pay them much mind but Victoria’s clever grey eyes were tracking her brother’s every move.  “Not a word,” Alexander said lowly to Victoria, referencing some secret to which Jordan wasn’t privy.  She didn’t mind - siblings needed their secrets.

She had secrets of her own, most notably the birth certificate she had found in her father’s office this morning. She had wanted to tell Alexander about it but with him had come Victoria and she was hesitant to let the younger Fahey-Van Eck in on such a potentially volatile secret.  Besides, this had been Victoria’s first job with them and Jordan didn’t want to rattle her.

The birth certificate was hers, but not.  It carried a different last name but the birth date was hers. Jordan Ghafa. It was so familiar but she needed Alexander’s clever mind to make sure she wasn’t insane.

When the plates were cleared, they walked home in the pitch black.  Victoria and Alexander wandered ahead; Victoria was talking gleefully about the Exchange and Alexander was listening intently. Jordan jammed her hands in her pockets, feeling the handle of the knife on her belt through her coat’s lining.

“You did good work tonight,” Jesper said, coming up behind her.  “Your mother would be proud.”

Jordan’s head snapped toward him.  “My mother?”

Jesper’s face morphed from concerned to guilty.  “Kaz never told you, did he?  Sweet Ghezen .”

“Told me what?” Jordan’s voice sounded uncharacteristically tight to her own ears.

“He never told you about your mother?” Now Jesper wore the face of a man who now knows he shouldn’t have said anything.

“No. Nothing.” She felt her eyes hardening.  If Victoria were beside her, she would be telling Jordan to shut up.

They were walking through Fifth Harbor now.  The cry of gulls and the lapping of waves against the boat hulls soothed her nerves.  Jesper was scanning the streets as if seeking an answer to Jordan’s questions.  Jordan counted the berths, once, twice and then again.

“Hey!” Jordan exclaimed.  Ahead of them, Alexander ground to a halt, dragging Victoria with him.  “There’s a ship in berth 22.  In The Wraith’s spot.”

“So?” Victoria’s pale brow was drawn.  Two bells sounded above them.  Kaz would be furious with her for being home late but Jesper’s eyes - wider than dinner plates - and Alexander’s slack jaw convinced her feet to stay.

“There isn’t supposed to be a ship in berth 22,” Jesper murmured.  He turned abruptly to his children, all joviality out of his tone. “You two, get home.  Tell your father I’ve gone to the Crow Club.  Jordan, go home.”

Alexander gave Jordan a worried look as his father sprinted toward the Dregs-owned gambling hall.  “What the…?”

Jordan shrugged, worry gnawing at her heart. Something is about to happen.   “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Victoria gave her a hug.  “See you, Jordan.”

“You were great,” she told her younger friend.  The Fahey-Van Ecks set off for home but Jordan remained, pacing the planks of the harbor while staring at the offending ship.

Screw this, she thought.  I’m not going to wait for them to find out what’s going on.  I’m Jordan Brekker.  I get my own answers.

Running her hand over the knife sheathed on her forearm, she approached the ship.  It was small and stripped bare of any adornments or recognizable marks and there was no sign of life onboard.  She reasoned that the crew had gone out for the night, off to gambling dens or pubs or who knows where.  But that rationale wasn’t enough to sate her curiosity.

She swung aboard the ship, the lack of gangplank little to deter her.  The planks creaked under her feet as she made her way belowdecks to where the captain’s quarters would most likely be.  The door hung ajar, a small light flickering in the shadows.  Knife at the ready, she peeked around the corner.

A woman, slight and small with large brown eyes, blinked back at her, seemingly unsurprised by her arrival.  Jordan stepped fully into the doorway, keeping her face in shadows, stifling a sigh of resignation.  “Who are you?” The woman asked in accented Kerch.

“Who are you?” Jordan countered, sweeping the room for any sign of danger.  “You aren’t to be docked in this berth.”

The barest of smiles tugged at her lips.  “But I am.  This is my berth.”

“This…” Jordan looked around the room as if to find some clue contrary to her assumption.  “This is The Wraith ?”

The woman shifted on the bed, another small smile flickering at the edge of her mouth.  “It was.  But you still haven’t answered my question.”

Jordan slipped from the shadows.  The woman’s eyes went wide, darting to take in all of Jordan, her fitted black clothes, her choppy black hair, the knife on her belt.  “Jordan?” Her voice was a tiny whisper, a trembling thing.

“How… How did you know?” Jordan felt the ship rock under her feet.  Everything was moving too fast.  She wanted Alexander so she could grab at his wrist, feel his solid presence.

“He didn’t tell you?  About me?” Hurt flashed across the woman’s face as she stood.  She was a couple inches shorter than Jordan but as thin as a sheaf of Victoria’s drawing paper.  It was painfully obvious that she hadn’t eaten well in a long time.  But shouldn’t a ship’s captain have enough to eat?

“Who didn’t- What?” How she hated to stutter.  She tried to put herself together but it was an uneasy thing when there were more questions than answers.

“Kaz Brekker.”  She said the name like it was a prayer.

Jordan nodded.  “My papa.  What about him?”

“He didn’t tell you about me?  About the Wraith?”

She nodded.  “He did, all the time.  Inej Ghafa, former Menagerie girl, spider, and captain of the eponymous ship.”  Victoria would be proud of her vocabulary.  “She was a Dregs legend, the best one.”  Jordan felt a piece of a puzzle click into place.  She remembered the document she had found in her father’s safe. Saints, no.

The woman extended a hand as if to shake Jordan’s.  “My name is Inej Ghafa.  But you can call me the Wraith if you’d rather.”

Running footsteps from above decks told Jordan that they were no longer alone.  “Stay back,” she told Inej, silently closing the door and leaning her full weight against it.  After a moment, she heard familiar voices and flung it open, effectively startling the twelve-year-old messenger employed by the Dregs.  “What business?”

“Kaz sent me to find out who was in the berth,” he stuttered, voice full of unease.  Jordan would have expressed sympathy at any given time but she wanted nothing more than answers and to be off this ship.  

“Tell him…” Inej’s voice was trembling but her gaze was sure.  “Tell him that the Wraith is home.  He’ll come.”

The boy nodded, sprinting back the way he came.  Jordan turned to Inej again, her back against the door, her spine colliding with the handle.  “How did you know my name.”

“Jordan Rietveld saved his brother’s life in death,” Inej murmured, studying her hands.  “I chose that name because I had hoped you would be the one to carry others to the shore.”

Jordan’s world tilted on its axis.  Memories surfaced, little snippets of glossy hair clenched in her fists, a term of endearment in Suli, a bedtime story in Ravkan.  It was her voice.

It couldn’t be.

“Who the hell is Jordan Rietveld?”

Inej did not reply.

She lost track of how long they stood there and stared at one another but the familiar sound of cane-and-foot broke Jordan out of her thoughts.  “Papa!” She shouted up the stairs.  “Down here!”

She was surprised to hear her father breathless.  “Inej?” His voice was hopeful, burning as it left his mouth and something that Jordan could almost consider to be humble.

She took two tentative steps toward the door, toward Kaz, and reached out with one hand.  Jordan watched in awe as he took it, twining their fingers together and touching his lips to her forehead.  “Inej,” he whispered and there was no pain in his voice.  Jordan felt like a stranger, an intruder.  Again, she missed Alexander’s steady presence.

“Hello, love.” The smile crossing her face was so bright it was blinding.  Jordan slipped from the room, leaving them to their moment, her throat tight and her stomach clenching.

Who are you? She wanted to ask the woman in her father’s arms.   Are you my mother?  Why did you leave me.  Why did you come back?

She backed out of the room, sprinting above decks, letting her feet carry her to the Van Eck estate.  She didn’t care how late it was.  She needed her best friend.

#soc next gen au #savagekaz #dirtyhandsnet #henrymarsette #i have no chill pls don't judge me

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Fifteen

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Fifteen

Once all the attention was on the Darkling and the Fold, the Crows quickly lifted a cargo hold, scrambling below deck. The volcra could be heard in the distance, and it sent a chill down Elham’s spine.

Jesper was cleaning his revolvers, groaning. “This is a bad idea.”

Kaz sounded calm, but Elham could feel the worry in his tone. “I think it’s rather practical.”

Jesper scoffed. “What? Why?”

“I don’t see how we step off this boat without you pulling those guns. So, cleaning them is a good idea.”

A screech was heard in the distance.

Jesper chuckled, motioning from his guns to the skiff around them. “Oh, I don’t mean this. I mean this! We are in the worst place in the world on a ship full of people who want us dead, surrounded by monsters who want us in their gullets. I should have brought Milo.”

Inej was glancing around towards the upper deck. “Who’s Milo?”

“The goat!”

Elham rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Jesper, those guns, the goat, my powers, all of it doesn’t matter, it’ll do fuck all if the Darkling intends on using his powers against us. We get it, you miss Milo, and we’re all scared without any comfort, but your constant need to list off the reasons we’re in danger is no comfort to any of us. Do you need a hug or something?”

It was quiet for a minute. Jesper pondered for a moment, before standing and moving towards her. “Yeah, I do, actually. It’s been a shit day.”

Elham let out an actual laugh at that, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. She could feel his hands shaking against her back, and she squeezed him tighter. She put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him out and holding him at arm's length away from her.

“It has been a shitty day. But listen to me, we’re gonna be fine, yeah? Have you seen how many times we’ve all been in a situation where we should have died? How many times have we saved each other's asses? We’ll make it...well, at least Kaz will. He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach, I suspect he’ll outlive us all.”

Kaz almost grinned, and Elham could feel the sarcasm laced in his voice. “Someone has to run the Barrel. Might as well be me. I’ll miss you all dearly, though. I’ll make sure to light a candle for you.”

Jesper seemed to relax, and Kaz nodded at him. “How many bullets do you have?”

Another screech was heard in the distance, this one closer than the last.

“Not enough.”

---

The Crows had been standing for a while, listening to the screeches in the distance, as well as the uneasy murmurs of guests on deck. All of a sudden, a giant rumble came from above, and a small light was cast over the slats in the ceiling. The Crows looked around uneasily, trying to gage what had occurred.

“So? What's our play?”

Kaz was still looking up. “We wait.”

“For what?”

He spoke like it was obvious. “For whatever the general has planned.”

“You figured him out?”

Elham scoffed. It would take a century to figure out the depths of the Darkling, and she suspected no one would still be around by then to pick his brain. No one except Alina, that is. She felt pity for the girl who would be the only person in their lifetime to live long enough to see the Darkling rise and fall.

Kaz just shook his head. “Not quite. Consider the scenario. The Sun Summoner fled from his palace, and now she’s tied to the deck. We’re sailing for a city where another general hired Arken to kill her. And I saw his face as he boarded. I know that look. He’s a man consumed with vengeance.”

Jesper scoffed. “See it enough in the mirror, do you?”

Kaz looked unamused, and Jesper continued. “So? What kind of revenge is he planning exactly?”

“We know it requires the Sun Summoner, which makes her valuable to us. She’s the one keeping everyone safe in here. If we have control of her, then we call the shots.”

Elham felt her stomach drop. “Kaz, what if he found a way to use Alina’s powers with his? Like how he would do with mine when I was at the Little Palace? That would mean--”

Kaz stiffened, slowly putting the pieces together. “...We need to threaten her life.”

Suddenly, Inej popped up from behind a barrel, holding a knife to a man’s neck and a gun to the head, exclaiming at the same time as Elham.

“What?”

The Crows quickly turned, moving to defend themselves. Kaz took a step forward, half shielding Elham from view. Still, Elham let flames pool in her palms while she stared, and she watched the man glance between the Crows and her hands.

Jesper leaned forward. “Who’s this?”

Inej responded. “A stowaway. Why pick this of all skiffs?”

The man spoke, raising his hands in surrender. “To kill the general and save Alina.”

Jesper cocked his gun, taking a step forward, his tone menacing, the most intimidating Elham had ever heard from him. Sometimes, she forgot just how ruthless the Crows could be.

“I’ll ask again. Who are you?”

“Mal Oretsev.”

Kaz eyed him, and then moved to stand in front of him. Elham and Jesper followed. Elham had let the flames in her palms die down, and instead, she had unsheathed her sword, gripping it in her hand.

Mal was still glancing at her. “You have a Grisha on your side? You’re sure she isn’t sworn to the general? Can’t be too sure these days.”

Elham rolled her eyes, lifting the tip of her sword to land under his chin. Mal swallowed, tilting his head to get away from the tip of her blade. She pressed further.

“And just when I was starting to like you. Yes, I’m a Grisha, but I’m a hell of a lot better swordsman. No, I’m not sworn to the general, I would rather die than swear allegiance to him, and I would kill him myself if I had the chance. Now, what were you saying?”

Kaz swung his cane to tap her leg, and she grudgingly pulled her sword to her side and stepped back next to Jesper. He gave her a glance, silently telling her to stay in line and follow his lead. He turned back to Mal.

“You know Alina?”

“I do.”

“Who’s in control of her?”

“The general I’m going to kill.”

Kaz cocked his head to the side, analyzing, before deciding. “Inej, give him his gun.”

She squinted. “Why?”

“Because if he isn’t with Kirigan’s crew, he’s with ours.”

Jesper holstered his gun, and Inej handed Mal his gun. Elham sheathed her sword, and Mal turned to her. “Sorry. Wrong impression.”

Elham let out a mix between a laugh and a scoff. “Don’t worry, love, you didn’t hurt my feelings. Maybe turned my stomach up a bit at the thought of joining the Darkling, but you didn’t hurt my feelings. I would watch how you talk to people though. Words like that around powerful people just might get you killed.”

He grinned at her, holstering his gun. “That would involve living long enough to make it to those people, and so far, I think I’m doing alright.”

---

The Crows and Mal spent as long as they could below deck, biding their time, when the screaming started. The sound of a whole city being swallowed by darkness and claimed by volcra was echoing in Elham’s ears, the screams on board deafening. Elham brought a hand to her mouth, holding in a scream herself.

Jesper leaned against Elham’s side, pulling her closer to him. “What now?”

Kaz turned to them, and he was almost as scared as Elham had ever seen him. She hadn’t seen that look on his face since they were in his office with Pekka Rollins, or when he broke his leg the night she first touched him. Still, he was unwavering.

“We wait.”

Inej stepped forward. “Kaz, you can hear him slaughtering a city.”

“So you understand the scale of his power, then? Good.”

Mal shook his head. “The bold move is to strike now.”

“And the smart one is to get clear of the damned Fold first.”

Msl nodded, heading for the stairs that lead to the cargo hold door. “I never said I was smart.”

Jesper scoffed, eyes wide. “Can you believe him?”

Inej shrugged off her coat, pulling out her knives. “I’m going with him.”

Before Elham could grab her, she ran up the stairs. Elham turned with desperate eyes to Kaz and Jesper, who didn’t look any calmer. They waited a moment, before Jesper groaned, throwing off his jacket and moving towards the door.

Kaz panicked. “We wait!”

Jesper shook his head. “The action’s up there.”

“They have the advantage.”

“Only because I’m not in the game.”

Elham shook her head, tears pricking her eyes. She felt more vulnerable than she had in a long time, and she hated it.

“Jesper, please don’t go. I can’t lose one of you, you’re all I’ve got. You know it’s a suicide mission.”

His eyes softened, and he sent a small smile her way. “I’ve got to, love. I’ll be ok.”

He rushed up the stairs, leaving Elham and Kaz alone. Elham turned to him, and he knew the look on her face.

“No. Not you too. I don’t care how good you are with a sword, or about your fucking powers, no.”

“Kaz, I have to! They’re not gonna get hurt, or Saints forbid, die, when I could have been up there to stop it. I’m going up there.”

Elham took a step up the stairs, when Kaz took a hold of her hand, holding her back. The look in his eye was unfamiliar, animalistic, and she felt her heart race. His voice was a murmur now, a desperate plea.

“Don’t. Not you too. Otherwise I’ll have no choice but go up there, make sure you stay alive.”

Elham scoffed, but she was all too aware of his gloved hand still clutching hers, holding her back, gripping her like she would crumble and slip away at any moment.

“Why won’t you let me go? Am I that important, above Jesper or Inej? If we survive this, I’m just gonna get handed over to Heleen, so why not let me go, let me at least try and do some good before I go out?”

Kaz’s face contorted into anger. “You’re not dying, and you’re not going to Heleen! Yes, you’re that important, so I have to protect you!”

Elham’s mind was reeling now, but she knew she had to say it. She had to know.

“Haven’t I been the one saving your ass all these years? You have to protect me, now? Because what, you always protect your investments? Your Valkyrie?”

No. Well, yes, of course he would protect her because of that, but that’s not what she is to him. Not entirely. Not anymore. She was so much more than that to him.

She was ineffable.

She was ineffable, and he realized that. And while now wasn’t the most optimal time to say it, he knew he might never get the chance to say it again. He took a deep breath, squeezing her hand in his.

“No. I protect my girl, El.”

Her eyes widened, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek. He let go of her hand, raising a gloved thumb to wipe it away. She gave him a nod, slowly reaching for his cane. He raised a brow, but let her take it. She tapped the base of it to his ankle, and he let the smallest of smilest appear on his face.

She handed it back to him, nodding towards the stairs. “I’m gonna be fine. We’re gonna be fine. We’re in this together, Kaz. Come on, we have to help.”

He could feel his heart beating faster than it ever had, but he just nodded, and they raced up the stairs into the chaos.

---

A/N - we're getting close to the end. i haven't decided if i'm going to do an epilogue chapter or not, i was thinking of marking this book as complete when it's done, and adding the epilogue in before i write the second book and there's more show content, or maybe i'll make this one long book and when i start writing for it again i'll just add it to this one and mark it as ongoing. that's all undecided, and not an issue for now, but i'd love any ideas or feedback about that. i hope you like this chapter, let me know what you thought. there's about half an episode worth of content left, a few more chapters, and Ineffable will be complete. thank you so much for the support!

#wattpad #x reader #oc #grishaverse #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #inferni #in my feels probably #ineffable #six of crows imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone