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#that im hoping will let me plan things better!
aajxs · 3 days
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BUT WE'RE TOO DAMN SOBER (FOR MISTAKES LIKE THIS) RIN ITOSHI
⚽ : ̗̀➛ rin itoshi has been your best friend for years and you're both adamant on keeping it that way, even with the undeniable tension that constantly lingers whenever you're together. it's not long until the rope snaps and you're unable to resist anymore.
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CONTENTS // friends to ? / aged up characters / mentions of reader having past relationships / no confessions / pining / mentions of pro!rin but it's not rlly important / "platonic" cuddling / prob ooc rin / nsfw 18+ / inexperienced rin but he gets the hang of it / mentions of m!masturbation / rin is kind of a perv / oral (f! receiving) / fingering / half assed smut, I got lazy / unedited // 4.3k
PAIRINGS // rin itoshi x fem!reader
A/N // so basically this came out of buttfuck nowhere! i hope y'all enjoy tho bc this man is giving me actual brainrot 😭🙏🏽 also im sorry if the smut is hot dogshit im rusty lmao
I RECOMMEND LISTENING TO. . . MISTAKES LIKE THIS BY PRELOW . . .WHILE READING
// MASTERLIST .
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RIN ITOSHI would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy your presence. You with your wide grins and outgoing personality, it's almost like you were moulded by the sun itself the way you shine so brightly. He thinks you bring out that little bit of light in him. You're the only person that really, truly, can.
You used to think that Rin didn't like you. It might've been the constant sneer on his (unbelievably pretty) face, or maybe the dead gaze that he always stared at you with. You eventually came to the conclusion that he's just bad at communicating emotions that aren't anger, jealousy, or pride.
You can barely remember how you became friends in the first place, really. You remember meeting in highschool when his determination to beat his older brother came before everything else.
Rin was popular for nearly all the wrong reasons. He was notorious for his position as captain of the boys soccer team, but was more known as aloof, mean, and haughty all in one. He thought he was better than the rest of the world, and you were determined to change that.
You've always been good at getting people to notice you, so catching his attention wasn't the hard part. It was getting him to hold a conversation with you. It's not like he was nervous, he just didn't like you much at first. You were too popular and too happy and you were a distraction. Rin Itoshi didn't need friends, much less distractions. His eyes were set strictly on his goals, and he would make all of them come true.
So why were you so insistent on being a part of his life, and completely altering the plan that he had so carefully made? Rin ignored you for awhile. Maybe if he didn't acknowledge you, then you'd go away.
But it was so hard to not pay attention to you. It still is hard to keep himself from letting his thoughts wander to you throughout the day.
It started with little things like greetings in the halls that he brushed off. Then you began sitting with him at lunch rather than with your group of yes-men. Your conversation was mostly one sided, just you rambling on and on about your day as if he was listening.
(He's always listening, but he'd never admit that)
It didn't take long for him to start responding to your advances to be his friend. You greeted him in the hallway? He looked at you and pursed his lips. It wasn't much, but it was a start. When you'd sit with him at lunch, he'd give you reactions whenever you said something that caught his attention. He rarely replied, and when he did it was usually something cocky or disregarding.
Soon enough you were a constant in his life. Your peers thought you might be a bit crazy for even interacting with the notoriously aloof and mean Rin Itoshi, but you never cared about their opinions. Rin was different with you than he was them. It didn't take common sense to know that you had charmed him, and the two of you were becoming friends.
And now, many years later, you're even closer than before. You're practically joined at the hip at this point, in your eyes. You get to see a side of Rin that you don't think he's ever showed anyone before, and you're extremely grateful for the confidence you had to force him into a friendship with you.
You're polar opposites, but it's like you were made for each other. Crafted by completely separate hands, yet somehow managed to be put on display directly next to each other.
You make sure that people know of your friendship. From the way you scream his name louder than anybody else at his games to the way you brag endlessly about your best friend. Some people might even assume that you're a couple with the way you flaunt him, but it's not like he's any better.
"Hey Rin, are you going to the celebration dinner?" His teammates would ask, and he'd just stare at them for a few moments. "Nah, I've got plans with-"
"Wait! Let me guess, that hot girl you always have plans with?" A different teammate would cut him off with a knowing grin, and Rin could only purse his lips because they're spot on.
Not to mention you and Rin practically watched each other grow up. You met when you were sophomores in highschool, and now your full grown adults with jobs.
Rin was there for you through each and every failed relationship, helping you when nobody else could possibly imagine the feelings you were going through. And you were there for Rin when his expectations for himself became a bit too much. It was an unspoken agreement to always be there for one another. Being best friends came with a lot of those 'unspoken agreements.'
Like not acknowledging the tension when you come a little too close to each other, or when your knees accidentally touch under the table and neither of you move, or when your hands brush together while you're walking side by side.
Like right now, when you're playing with his tussled hair after a particularly rough game. His strong arms are tightly wrapped around your waist, and his uniform is still on. The only thing he's taken off are his cleats, but it's not like that stopped him from getting turf that got stuck in his shoes on your couch. He smells like musk and dirt and the field, yet you can only focus on the head resting tiredly on your breasts and the anger radiating off of him as his grip tightens every once and awhile. You take a moment to acknowledge the weight of him and the way he's not even trying to keep from crushing you under his tired body.
The game was only won due to a lucky shot by Rin, and he's probably thinking about how useless his teammates were in those final few minutes right about now. He's done that quite a lot since he went pro.
You decided that you'd just order in to your shared home. It's not really where you live, but you stay over enough for it to be your house too (not to mention you picked out each and every piece of furniture in the house and the house itself, but nobody really has to know that).
"Rin," You start, catching his attention with the sound of your velvety voice. He has always thought his name sounded better when you said it, and right about now it's music to his ears. "I'm not gonna lie, you stink. Go shower and you can hug me all you want when you're done."
He looks up at you, an indiscernible emotion in his aquamarine eyes as he gazes longingly at you. You raise a brow, and he only keeps staring. Rin doesn't tell you often, but he thinks you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.
He's too busy staring at you that he doesn't even realize your hands have left his hair and you're now trying to shove him off of you. A small frown makes its way onto his face as he saves you the energy, getting up.
"What did you order?" He monotonously asks as he stretches, a small groan leaving his pink lips as he opts for sitting on the couch rather than laying on you. His shirt rides up ever so slightly and you can't help but glance down at the little peek you get of his v-line.
You avert your gaze and look back at his face, only to see him already staring back at you. You don't acknowledge the fact that he definitely saw you looking.
"I haven't ordered anything yet. What do you want?" You ask as you curl your legs towards your chest. Rin stares at you with hazy half-lidded eyes, and you can only stare back, awaiting his answer.
"I was thinking sushi." He says after a few moments, "But you can order whatever. I'll be in the shower." He quickly adds before getting up, leisurely walking towards the bathroom.
You take a quick moment to admire him as he walks away, silently eyeing him as he turns a corner and enters the hallway leading to his bathroom. You exhale slowly before unlocking your phone and calling in at your favorite restaurant to order some food.
When you hear the water start, you have to completely turn off your imagination because you really don't want to think about your best friend showering right now.
You definitely don't want to think about the toned muscles on his body that you never get to see. If you're being honest, if you didn't value your friendship with Rin, you probably would have asked him out already.
It sounds laughable that he would even give you a chance, but even a blind person could see the thick rope of tension between the two of you. You and Rin choose to ignore it for the sake of your friendship, but sometimes you wonder if ruining what you worked so hard to build might be the right thing to do. Who knows? Maybe Rin might feel the same way you do.
But that's just the problem, Rin doesn't have a crush on you. Not even close. At least that's what he tells himself when his hands wander between his legs at night and all he can imagine is you. Maybe it's more than a crush, but neither of you will ever know because he surely won't be acknowledging it and he will never tell you of it. Because the last thing Rin Itoshi will ever do is speak of his feelings for you because maybe if he simply never acknowledges them then they'll go away.
More importantly, it's not like you'd ever like him back anyways. Sure there are moments where he thinks his feelings could be returned, but with the way you hop between relationship after relationship, he doesn't think you'd be able to settle down with him.
Oh, how wrong you both are.
A good ten minutes pass when you finally hear the water shut off. Usually his showers take less than seven, but you don't think much of it. He must've just been extra sluggish today. You rise from the couch with a small sigh, standing above the spot Rin once sat in. You brush bits of turf off the soft couch, absentmindedly cursing Rin for always getting stuff dirty after matches.
"What'd I do?" He says from a few feet away, immediately catching your attention with his thick voice. You slightly jump at his sudden appearance, quickly turning to face him.
"You need to stop getting dirt all over the couch. It's gross and sucks to clean." You frown at your friend as you take him in. His dark hair is wetly sticking to his forehead and his fresh white T-shirt and grey sweatpants are tight in all the right places. Curse him for being so attractive.
Rin begins walking towards you, and you raise a brow. "Sorry, I'll remember that next time." He says as he rubs his tired eyes before sliding past you, placing a large hand on your hip as he does so. You hope he doesn't notice the way you shudder at the small gesture.
He lays down on the couch and you huff as you plop down on top of him. He lets out a small groan, and you laugh softly. You're in the same position you were just ten minutes ago, this time reversed. Your head is resting on his strong chest and your arms are around his neck rather than tightly wrapped around his torso.
You adjust your head so you're looking up at him. Rin is practically hugging you, strong arms locked around your body. You remember the days when Rin avoided your touch like the plague, but now he practically craves it.
"When's the food gonna get here?" He asks tiredly, eyes half lidded. You stare at him through your lashes.
"I would check, but you're laying on top of my phone." You nuzzle your face further into his body, getting a bit more comfortable. You don't question why his heart is racing, practically beating out of chest.
"And you're laying on top of me, so it looks like we're both at a loss here." He hugs you the slightest bit tighter. It doesn't seem like he wants you off anytime soon.
"That's okay, I'll get up when it gets here." You smile as you take in his face. You think you could stare at Rins perfectly moulded face forever. His sharp jawline, the curve of his nose, eyelashes you'd die for, the prettiest turquoise eyes.
You're mere inches away from the most exquisite sculpture with every detail perfected from the miniscule to the perceptible. If not a masterpiece chiseled by skilled hands, then what is Rin Itoshi but an angel sent straight from the skies above?
Rin stops hugging you, his hands trailing down your back and softly gripping your waist. You pull one hand from behind his head and begin tracing his thick bicep.
At the rate his heart is going you think he might go into cardiac arrest. You take your other hand and gently place it over his heart, smirking to yourself as you feel it speed up. It's taking everything in Rin to keep his hands from wandering. It always does when you're in positions like this. You must think he's being friendly, but he'll never admit that he just likes the feeling of your body on his. Other best friends do this type of stuff too, don't they? You can't be the only ones.
Rins hand moves ever so slightly, his pinky finger resting slightly under the waistband of your shorts. You flinch, your gaze flitting to his. He just stares at you, an unintelligible look in his eyes.
His hand moves again, sliding further into your shorts. You push yourself slightly off his chest just as your breath hitches, and he pauses. "What?" His lips twitch, as if holding back a dirty grin.
"You know what you're doing." You say breathily. Rins hand moves the slightest bit more, and your eyes widen. A warning, telling him that he should stop. But do you want him to stop?
He props himself up with an elbow. You sit on his abdomen, and heat shoots through your body where his hand lingers near your behind. His name softly leaves your lips, a silent plea. For what, you're unsure, but you can't deny that what you're feeling right now is returned.
With one look you're able to discern the emotions that you both have kept stowed away for so long. Hidden beneath subtle, second-too-long touches and friendly looks that should be reserved for lovers.
Lovers. You think that's what you want to be with Rin.
You don't think as your lips sloppily slot themselves on dhis. You can feel the smile that forms as he kisses you. Your lips move in synchrony, practically made for each other.
You're restless, unable to keep your hands from wandering as they run up his clothed chest and pull at his damp hair. You involuntarily grind your hips into his torso as his tongue slips into your mouth.
And then you begin thinking again. You rush to pull away from him, scrambling to get your lips off his. His hands swiftly make their way to your waist, keeping you on top of him as he follows your head as it backs away from his own.
"Rin we can't-" You stammer, "We shouldn't-" Your hands are still in his hair, the only thing keeping his lips from yours.
"We really shouldn't," He says lowly, staring at you with desperation evident in his eyes, "But you want this too right? You want me too?"
More than you'll ever know, you don't say as your lips connect with his once again. This time it's sloppier than the first, less controlled and full of much more need. You're hands are everywhere this time.
Up his shirt and running across his toned body. His hands are everywhere too. They're trailing up and down your bare back, as if unable to figure out where to put them.
You break away from the kiss and Rin takes the opportunity to pull your shirt above your head, leaving you close enough to bare in front of him. You tug his shirt over his head and take no more than a second to attack his jugular. He gasps as you lick and suck and bite at his throat.
"What're you? A fuckin' v-vampire?" He breathes shakily. You hum into his skin, sending a vibration through his body. Rins hands make their way to your breasts, cursing lowly as he savors the feeling of your tits in his large hands.
His thumbs run over your hardened nipples, causing you to sharply exhale into his skin. Rin has never gone farther than hand holding. So this? Touching you? It's all a whole different level for him.
(Not that he's complaining, Rin can officially die happy now that he knows what your lips feel like.)
Suddenly you're tired of sucking on his skin and you rush to put your lips back on his. You're not yet used to the foreign feeling, but you think you could get used to it.
Your hips roll in a way that makes him silently gasp, and you use the opening of his lips to insert your tongue. Rin can feel his oxygen slowly depleting from the intensity of your mouth on his, nearing breathlessness. That fact doesn't stop him from cupping your face and shoving you further into himself.
Rin can feel your hands wandering from his hair to his thick, muscle filled arms and then further down his body. You trace every indent of his toned abs, nearing the prominent v-line. Any closer and Rin might ruin his sweats.
You're the first to pull away from the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting you to him. Rin thinks the couch in his home is probably the worst place to have you, but he doesn't have the patience to carry you all the way upstairs into his bed. He takes no time tightly gripping your hips and flipping you over on the soft couch.
His warm mouth trails down your jaw, kissing down your throat and skimming over your collarbone before continuing down your chest. He barely pecks your sensitive nipples, and when you bite your lip to hold back a small moan he looks at you through long lashes.
"I want to hear you. Don't cover up." He says into your skin, sending a vibration through your body as he continues down your chest and onto your abdomen. He lingers there, kissing the supple skin before his big hands land on your shorts.
Rin looks at you, a silent request to continue. You nod, letting out this smallest "Please?" as you gaze at your best friend. After this you aren't sure if you'll ever be able to call him that again. Your eyes are dark with lust and desperation, and with a face and voice as beautiful as yours, Rin doesn't think anyone could ever think of resisting your plea.
He makes quick work of your shorts, tugging them down your legs and past your ankles, flinging them across the room.
"If we do this, tell me you won't regret it." He says as he hooks his finger around the waistband of your cotton undergarments. His words hit you somewhere deep down. Why would he think you'd regret him?
You look him straight in the eyes as you say, "I won't. I don't think I could ever regret anything about you." And with that, he places a sweet kiss on your pelvic region before touching the damp spot on your panties.
A small whine leaves your lips and you go to close your legs, but Rin stops you by practically tearing your underwear off your body. You gasp when the crip air hits you bare. He hooks strong arms around your thighs and places them over his shoulders. And then, he gives his full and undivided attention to the oozing mess in front of him. Heat shoots towards his agonizingly hard dick, and if he's not lucky he might not last another five minutes.
"I've never gone this far before, so tell me if I'm doing something wrong." His gaze flits to you before he drags his middle finger down your slit. You suck in a breath, and you can almost make out the small smile he gives himself before inserting the same finger into your pussy.
A low hum from the back of your throat turns into a quiet moan. After a few simple strokes of his finger he inserts a second, causing you to let out a slightly louder whimper.
And then his thumb makes its way to the bud full of all the pleasure you could need, and he rubs it in soft circles at the same pace of his fingers. You want to ask if he was being honest moments ago when he told you he's never gone this far.
Now with the addition of the second finger and the circles he's rubbing on your clit, the moans he's eliciting from you are constant. Low sounds that are like music to his sharp ears leave your plump lips. "D-don't be shy Rin, I can take whatever you give me." You stammer, and he exhales sharply.
Rin isn't sure how exactly to react to your words, but he takes it upon himself to quicken his slow pace. The faster he goes, the louder you get, and when he settles on a volume he likes he stays at that speed.
A bunch of curses and chants of his name leave your lips as he fucks into you with his fingers. Your hips roll and your body stirs with restlessness. Rin doesn't think he's seen anything more breathtaking, and the praises he sends towards you make you feel like something worth worshipping.
"You're so beautiful," He says breathlessly. Any time you try to properly reply he hits that familiar, particularly gummy spot inside you and a lewd string of moans leaves your open lips.
You can feel that familiar knot making its way into your stomach, building and building until it finally snaps with a cry of his name. Your warm juices squelch around him as they begin leaking out of your pussy, and he grins cockily. You've only ever seen such a determined, fired up look when he's on the field, and seeing it up close is enough to get you just as excited.
He slips his fingers out and tries to find a place to wipe them, but settles on licking his fingers clean. He was going to taste you sooner or later anyways. He's trying so inexplicably hard to not let out a groan at the taste of you.
"So fucking sweet," Rin says, more to himself, as he wastes no time placing his warm lips on your still sensitive pussy, licking a stripe down your folds. The moan you let slip is the same volume as the one you let out when you came, loud. He prods at your entrance with his tongue and places his thumb back on your clit. You hazily think there's no way Rin has never had sex before.
And then when he starts devouring you whole, you don't think you're complaining. He's sloppy and is eating you like a man starved, pumping his tongue in and out of your hole and gathering your juices in his mouth.
A chainlink of moans leave your pretty mouth, a sound Rin could definitely get used to. Especially when they're sweet chants of his name. Not the kind he usually gets after a good play on the field, but the kind that leaves his own knees wobbling.
Your thighs tighten around his head and he's practically trapped between your legs. You've always wondered what that mouth of his could do, now you know. Rin hums into your pussy, sending a vibration throughout your entire overly sensitive body.
His tongue leaves your cunt and he adds a few fingers to the mix, pushing them inside you. He peppers the inside of your thighs with kisses before returning his attention to your hole. You don't see the look on his face, but you know for a fact that it's curious as he softly takes your clit between his teeth. This elicits a loud moan from you, and neither of you can tell if it's one of pain or pleasure. When his head shoots up and his turquoise eyes flit to yours, as if asking if what he did was right or wrong.
The bottom half of his face is glossed over with your arousal, bits of your slick running down is chin. You think he looks good like this, damp hair tousled on his head and lips shiny with a mix of your wetness and his own saliva.
You shove his head back between your legs in an instant. Rin gets straight back to work, and it's not long before your legs are shaking and your moans are growing louder.
"Fuuuck- I'm g'na ah- cum," You manage to say between moans. You bury your head further into the couch when Rin hits that same extra gummy spot with his long fingers. Your vision goes white and a loud curse leaves your lips as the band in your stomach snaps violently. Rin slurps down every bit of liquid that sprays out of your pussy.
Rin wipes his mouth as he pulls away, but the doorbell ringing makes him pause. You're immediately brought out of your aroused haze and you lock eyes with Rin. Your eyes meet, and the canvas of his face has shock drawn all over it.
You both completely forgot about the food you ordered.
The realization of what just happened, what you both just did, hits the two of you like a full speed car. The look you share is full of something unspoken, but you both rush off the couch to find your clothes.
You share another look, and you speak first. "We'll talk later..?" You offer, and Rin blinks. Needless to say, you're going to need a new couch for the very long talk you're about to have with your 'best friend.'
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© AAJXS
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14jo · 1 day
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New simblr !!
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Helloo! my name is Jo and i am completely new to posting on tumblr, but ive been hiding in the shadows for a while just for cc and inspo >:)
The sim above is my poor attempt at a simsef but i dont trust what i see in the mirror so definitely not very accurate
im 18 and scandinavian, pronouns are she/her. im a fulltime student currently studying art, design and architecture
I plan on mostly posting cas shots and building screenshots, but might post some gameplay if i somehow manage to stick to one household for more than a week ( i did just make a new sim that im in love with so will post her later :D ). if i figure out how to transfer pictures from my laptop to ipad ( dont know why it wont let me >:( ) then ill try some edits too, but someone from the 1700s would probably be better with tech things than me
i hope to discover new interesting simmers and connect with other creatives so please do interact if this sounds like something for u <3333
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just-a-creep-babe · 5 months
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AHHHHHHHH HIII BABES OMG WE HAVENT TALKED IN FOREVERRR BUT IM SO GLAD I WAS DELVING BACK INTO OLD INTRESTS WHILE YOU ARE BACK!!!
Its been so long oml i mean we *really* havent talked, my last ask here was if you do male readers i think but once my birthday passes and i have a good amount of money im so so so so so so looking at comissions again cause im bringing back some old ocs and i think you would kill drawing them and just
AHHHH I LOVE YOU IM GLAD YOU'RE BACK BUT REMEMBER TO DRINK WATER AND PRIORITIZE YOURSELF!
Oooooooh happy early birthday if its soon!! And it's definitely been a Hot Minute ™ since we last talked, I'm super happy to hear from you again! I hope this year's gonna treat you right!!!!
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theclosetedskeleton · 8 months
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me staring at my DAD when he said "if i see you have any f's during these 10 days.. things are gonna be bad. and by that i mean youre gonna get your tv taken. And youre gonna get no privacy. Meaning im going to take your door away" when i just wanted to go downstairs and get a fucking granola bar and NOT remember that if i fuck up once at school my privacy vanishes
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v-arbellanaris · 1 year
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da4 doesnt matter to me because as far as im concerned everything is au after da2. sorry everyone
#i still can't believe inq is a real game (derogatory). sorry about it#instead of playing inq i'd rather play gow or gow ragnarok. which i HAVE been doing lmao#i'd rather play bg3 and honestlyyyyy the direction theyre taking da in is sort of. ehhhh to me? and has been since inq sooo#im not really invested. like ill eventually play or watch pts i guess but im still mucking around in dao#i dont think da4 is going to do that for me. i might be wrong but my gut feeling after absolution is just that#wherever theyre taking this is not gonna be super interesting or new or fascinating to me. i feel like they kinda missed that boat w dai#with all their ''gotcha'' plotlines abt oppressive systems and systemic abuse basically blaming ppl for their own oppression#inq would have been better. if they like. didnt even massively change the storyline but just actively have the inq be BAD - maybe even#unapologetically bad. it couldve been an insightful breakdown abt power and authority and things like that but it wasnt#it couldve been abt people but it wasnt. so really in my head im already prepared to be let down in da4 because da has ALREADY#been letting me down lol. and so far the glimpses ive seen does not indicate to me tht theyre going to shift away from what they were doing#in dai. in fact they look like theyre planning to lean into it more. so! idc abt da4 im just gonna play in the sandpit with the blocks that#they gave me from the first few games and content#i do hope solas rips the veil down tho. i think the solas girlies who support him (me) deserve vindication#tbd#bioware critical#dai critical#da:d critical
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wickershells · 1 year
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Sigh. vent time u know the drill
#i havent been sleeping well recently. and ive been losing a lot of daylight whenever i do#my brain feels all mush-like. i just cant think of the right words for anything. its like im dreaming#ive missed the deadline for applications so theres another year gone. im so stagnant my life is idle#ive never been more desperate for spring before in my life#i want to go places and see things because i am so miserable stuck here. so i tell myself it will change once i can leave#but i dont have money. and i cant keep a job being as unstable and sensitive as i am i need to get better first#but in order to get better i need to spend money that i dont have#i dont think i was supposed to be happy. i dont think life ever planned that for me#i know that is such a defeatist and ugly attitude to have but truly i am just so unhappy all the time and i have been for years#realistically speaking im never going to be able to keep myself afloat i dont know what to do with that#and im the loneliest ive ever been#i try reaching out and i meet nothing#i know how hard it is to love me which is why no one really does. and i dont say that to be self-pitying#im so incompatible with everyone i love even my own mother. i keep trying to stop being so sensitive but ive been trying to get thicker#skin my entire life and it has never worked. i am perpetually upset no matter how hard i try i dont think i was built to still be here#i convinced myself i wouldnt be and now i am and i dont know how to deal with that. so many things i never preserved or procured because#i figured i would be long gone by now. that was a bit silly of me. but now ive left myself nothing. im left with nothing#everything i had hoped for as a little kid is ruined now all because of me. i have irreparably destroyed my life i mean that#and i cant handle the inevitability of grief and its growing closer and closer as everyone gets older and older#which is why in an act of pure selfishness id rather let everyone else deal with it. in the nebulous sense#god i just. ive spent year after year trying to fix my life and nothing has worked. not even close#im trying not to believe that its futile but deep down i think i already do#well. whatever#mine
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#more day more. well a lil more than that but basically one day before i leave for my school visit#and thank goodness for that. im so so so distracted. im also slightly exhausted bc lack of sleep. but whatever#i did cave and pay for thr a shuttle trip. bc i would rather spend 120$ and have to spend 6hrs overnight in the airport than have to drive#myself 1hr away. i just. i want to enjoy the trip without the constant worry that im gonna die or get ppl killed. which is what would#happen if i had to drive lol. aye. the thing abt me is that im unwell. but whatever. if theres forward motion i csn coast by#im just so excited bc i think after this weekend ill have a good idea of where i want to go to school. and ill get to plan for the next 4-5#years of my life and think abt leaving this place. ill have a timeline. woof. and i can shed this paralyzing worry#am i prepared for the visit? that remains to be seen. probably not but i am more prepared than i was for my last school visit in undergrad#where i was left in a lab and told to put together equipment under time pressure and no instructions. which was actully fun lol. and told#to give a presentation on the spot. and then was ultimately rejected for. also i had a biochem exam the week after and my brain was#destroyed lol. so whatever happes im sure itll b better than that. i mean i learnef a lot on that trip and it was fun so no regrets but oof#sigh... i should watch stuff/read papers relivant to the visit. but im tired 😫#Thursday morning. just gotta make it thru tomorrow and then i can let myself be swept away in the travel flow#and ill get to see snow!!! but yea i hope i like the school#unrelated#lol i meant one day more in the 1st tag. im too tired to spell
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ravegore · 2 months
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Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust
#i am still miffed that this was public but#it occurred to me it might also be bothering me so intensely because#it seemed we both agreed to move past each other and let go for now#n sure maybe this is what he needed to do to let go#it just feels kinda inflammatory.#but its only as much as i engage it with. which i dont plan to do#i hope my silence helps him reflect#and theres also just#a certain irony to the whole thing that i spent many many years trying to give advice on their relationship trying to help only for nothing#and now this very fresh very new issue suddenly is relationship breaking and hes already given up trying to help#lol#i guess he knows how i feel now though#idk#if anything better for him i guess to cut it off now rather than try repeatedly like i did (unless this already is repeat)#it also just feels like#he really doesnt even know who i am as a person#even after all this time#i dont want to say hes just wrong about everything because i definitely did say some dumb shit in the last few months#but it just feels like hes not even trying#or there are things hes not telling me#i keep telling my side explaining myself explaining what i mean and he just keeps. dare i use this word. Assuming things about me#anytime i have a conversation with him i just feel like im running in a circle i dont understand and i never know how to feel about anythin#and i dont understand what hes talking about what he wants what hes really feeling whats going wrong#and... comparing that to the friends i have now#its just even more obvious they're a lot better for me#i dont think friends are supposed to make you feel like this
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kimmkitsuragi · 3 months
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the way this is all pointless and hopeless and i am gonna end up as a disappointment. whatever
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chooey · 6 months
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academic flop
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alfheimr · 1 month
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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes
i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:
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this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.
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the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.
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this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.
i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.
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for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.
note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!
note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!
with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?
the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.
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so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.
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these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!
you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.
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this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.
let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.
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gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:
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some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.
for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.
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here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.
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i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?
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i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.
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yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.
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i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.
i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.
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the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.
typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!
this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.
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let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.
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just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?
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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months
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borrowed clothes
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words: 800
warnings: 18+ only, smut, female receiving oral, unprotected p in v sex, mentions of male masturbation, friends to lovers
“rafe, can i borrow your panthers jersey?” you ask, walking into his closet without even waiting for permission.
“you know, you always steal my clothes and never give me any of yours in return.” rafe points out, following you in to the walk in, seeing you already looking through his shirts, trying to find the nfl jersey.
“its sports night, rafe.” you roll your eyes. your favorite bar does themed nights that allow discounted drinks if you come in theme. “you have a million sports things to wear, and i have none.” you remind your best friend.
“all im saying is its unfair.” rafe smiles at you as you find the jersey you were thinking of, knowing his closet better than he does. it’s just a part of being friends for your entire life, best friends.
“okay, here.” you tug your black tshirt off, having planned to wear it underneath rafes jersey, but you can deal with just your bra. rafe looks away from your chest, despite having seen you in just your underwear or swimsuit a million times.
you toss the material at him before tugging the oversized jersey over your head, tucking the front into your tiny miniskirt. “how do i look?” you ask rafe, who is now holding your discarded tshirt in his hand.
rafe nods. “good.” its all he can force himself to say. better than sexy, hot, so good that he wants to bend you over right in the closet and shove that little skirt up and bury his cock in your-
“great!” you smile. “now we gotta find something sporty for you.” you hum, turning back to his closet.
--
“rafey?” you call, entering tanneyhill without knocking. you haven’t asked permission to enter since you were a child, with rafes house being your second home.
“he’s in the shower.” wheezie calls out from the living room.
“thanks wheez!” you ruffle her hair as you walk past, teasing her like she was your own little sister.
you head up to rafes room, flopping onto the bed as you pull your phone out, waiting for rafe to finish up in the shower, hoping he won’t take too long.
you scroll through tiktok, letting out a yawn with a big stretch, readjusting and sliding your hand under rafes pillow. you frown when realize your fingers graze over a weird material, feeling oddly stiff and not something that belongs on rafes bed.
you sit up, moving the pillow to reveal your black tshirt, now covered in white stains. you frown and move it closer to inspect the fabric, eyes widening when you realize what you are holding in your hands.
your mind moves at a thousand miles a minute, realizing that rafe has been jacking off into your shirt. the implications are clear, the one piece of clothing item that he has of yours, and he uses it to get himself off?
you toss the piece of fabric back down, slamming the pillow back on top of it right as rafe opens the bathroom door, towel wrapped around his waist.
“i-i can explain.”
--
“f-fuck!” you shout out, rafes head buried in your cunt, tongue lapping over your pussy, finally tasting you like he's long awaited to. “why did it take us so long to do this?”
rafe just smiles against your cunt, glad that he didn't need to give a real explanation as you hopped off the bed and kissed him, realizing that your feelings echoed his after seeing your tshirt, suddenly feeling just as pent up.
“should have just fucked me instead of cumming all over my shirt.” you whine as his tongue flicks over your clit.
“ill buy you a new one.” rafe sucks your clit into his mouth, determined to make you cum. you let out a cry, your high building.
a shiver spreads throughout your body as rafes mouth brings you to orgasm, a scream being forced out of your body, not caring that there are other people in the house that could hear.
“fuck, you taste so good baby.” rafe moans into your cunt, tongue swiping out again until you gently push his head away, not able to take anymore on your sensitive clit.
rafe rises up, draping himself over your body. he gives you a deep kiss, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.
“i can't believe you were jacking off into my shirt thinking of me.” you giggle. 
“oh god, you're never gonna let me forget that, are you?” rafe groans, moving lower to rub his cock between your folds, soaking it in your wetness.
you laugh before it's cut off by rafes lips.
“can i fuck you y/n?” rafe asks, lining himself up with your entrance.
“yeah.” you nod. “yeah, need you.”
“last chance to rethink this. because once i enter you, we can't just be friends anymore.”
“i know, i know.” you peck a kiss to rafes lips. “hurry up and fuck me already.”
rafe smiles down at you as he slowly presses forward, your walls giving way to his thick cock.
“i love you.” rafe admits with a gasp.
“i love you too.”
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart
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deangirldisease · 1 year
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hm.
becoming a little like. genuinely concerned with the level of my apathy. its almost like executive distinction but not rly bc while id like the things to BE done but im not necessarily TRYING to do them and meeting resistance. like even mentally i just cannot be assed. and i do i DO want the results. i know a good life takes effort i know itll be steps before i can be happy and theyre not even hard steps i have a to do list of four (4) items!!! but im just sitting here decomposing and im straddling that line where its like this is worrying but not worrying enough to take action. esp cos last time i ‘took action’ i just fucking moved to canada. and it did not help let me tell you. also off topic but theres a secret fifth item on my list which is opening dating apps again to get some fucking intimacy on this bitch of an earth and thats so far removed from my realm of possibility for some reason that i didnt even put it on the actual list? im like. somehow embarrassed by the whole concept of it. and i do think the ao3 addiction has something to do with it i will admit. like its just not going well sisters idk.
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thot4ellie · 3 months
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oh sweetheart
pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au
word count: 1.9k
rating: 18+
warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)
summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.
authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)
PART 1 | part 2
series masterlist <3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.
DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.
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loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.
you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.
it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.
after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.
you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.
jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.
you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.
"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.
he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.
"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.
the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.
the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.
"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.
"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.
you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.
"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.
"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.
"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.
"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.
"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.
suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.
you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.
jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.
dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.
you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.
thats her.
thats the girl who saved you outside.
the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.
the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.
you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.
...5
...4
...3
...2
as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.
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star-girl69 · 5 months
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So It Goes…
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader
—-
sypnosis: the one day chiron decides to switch up the capture the flag teams, and everyone knows you’re clarisse’s weakness, In A Good Way sequel!!
i changed my theme it’s me tho promise
a/n: protective clarisse the love of my life i love you i do i think we should get married actually anyways this one is sooooooo i got to explore a more casual side of clar’s and reader’s relationship in this (for like a min) i hope you all enjoy!!
So It Goes… - Taylor Swift
warnings: soft clarisse my love, protective clarisse we KNOW how i feel abt her…., also slightly possessive clarisse i think i love you too, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, clarisse picks reader up which i KNOW is not inclusive (im literally plus-sized idk what the hell am i doing) but it was so good i couldn’t resist, she has like super strength probs so i’ll just believe (she literally could not pick me up i need to stop being delusional), swearing, violence, kissing, a bit suggestive but nothing crazy, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
Clarisse’s bed is one of your favorite places. You’ve spent so many nights here, wrapped up in her arms, feeling like no one could touch you. And you’ve spent secret days with her hands on your waist, yours in her hair, lips pressed together so tight it’s like you were each other’s oxygen.
You love Clarisse’s bed. And you know Clarisse loves her bed too, seeing as it’s a huge source of pride for her- it’s the best bunk in the cabin, and she gets a major kick over the fact that you sleep here just as much as you sleep in your own cabin.
You’re sitting down, watching Clarisse pace back and forth, her spear in her hand.
“Clarisse,” you say. She brought you here just fo freak out. Now she won’t sit down and let you help her, and she wont just freaking listen. “Clarisse, baby, what’s wrong? Can you at least put your spear down so you don’t accidentally kill somebody? If you kill me with that I’m gonna come back and kill you.”
She stops for a moment and leans her spear up against the wall. You let out a sigh.
“Now just sit down-”
She resumes her pacing.
As much as you love just being in Clarisse’s presence, as much as you know you’re her rock, the only thing that keeps her tethered in the storm she constantly fights through, you need her to let you help her.
“Clarisse!” you stand up, placing your hands on her shoulders. “You’re freaking me out, okay? What happened? I-I’m sure we can fix it, I mean…” you rub your hands up and down your arms, which you know she likes, her muscles are one of her biggest sources of pride.
She sits down, letting you stand in between her legs, her hands moving to hold your hips.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. She’s not very good at handling her emotions, but she’s getting better, and at least she’s able to recognize and apologize when her emotions are hurting other people. Well, you, at least. She breathes out. “Chiron decided to switch the teams.”
And now she had to work with the Athena cabin? The Gods know after the Ares and Athena cabins have captained opposing teams for years, Chiron pretends there’s not, but everyone knows there’s a deep rivalry. More than just friendly competition.
“The Demeter cabin will be on the red team.”
“Okay,” you say, squeezing her shoulders. You aren’t really close with anyone from the Demeter cabin, it doesn’t really bother you much.
“And… the Aphrodite cabin will be on the blue team.”
“Oh.”
You’ve never not been on Clarisse’s team for capture the flag. Not only does the entire red team’s tactic rest on you using your charmspeak to protect the flag, but what the hell are you supposed to do fighting against Clarisse?
She wraps her arms around your waist, flopping back onto her bed and bringing you down on top of her.
“I know it’s all Annabeth and Luke behind this. I’m sure that little smartass has made up some sick plan to make me go insane.”
You scoff, planting your hands behind her head on the bed. “You’re the one who can actually fight. I’m, like, so bad it’s not even funny, Clar.”
“You beat me all the time,” she frowns.
And it’s true, you spar with her at least 3 or 4 times a week, and you win most of the those times. But Clarisse moves slower, she doesn’t hit as hard, she anticipates your next move and doesn’t block it so you can land a hit.
“We both know you let me win.”
“I like seeing you smile,” she says, her own matching smile on her face.
“Okay, you big romantic.” You let your hands slip, laying your head against her chest and your arms flat around her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Clar. I’m sure it’ll be fine, then Chiron’ll probably switch them back.”
“Annabeth convinced him to do it. She has some sort of plan, Y/N, she does.”
“You’ve mentioned,” you hum. “Stop stressing. Nothing we can do about it.”
“Fine,” she hisses.
She wraps her arms around your waist and throws you to the side so you yelp, now she’s climbing on top of you, laying her head on your chest.
“It’s going to be the worst game of capture the flag in history, you know. I hope you’re happy, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do without you. I mean, I guess I could move that group in the west side to just south of the flag, so that’ll be a bit more for them to get through. Oh, I’ll stick that one good archer on the ground- no, no that wouldn’t work, I need him in the trees. But I’ll move his position-”
—-
You walk to the woods together. When it’s time to split up, Clarisse grabs you by your armor and points her finger into your chest.
“Clar, what the hell are you doing-”
“Don’t do anything I would do.”
“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, blinking once to avoid rolling your eyes at her ridiculousness.
She smirks, her arm squeezing your waist. She pecks you on the lips before pulling away completely.
“Done making out?” Jackie asks, her and Tyla suddenly appearing next to you.
“It was one kiss, Jacks. Are you sure we have the same Mom?”
“No, honestly.”
You fall into step with the two of them, laughing as you make your way through the woods and to the edge of the river.
Chiron makes his usual speech, the conch sounds, and everyone starts moving around.
Annabeth finds the three of you soon after. Tyla and Jackie fall away, following your other siblings. Annabeth always has this calculating look on her face, like she knows something you don’t, a true child of Athena. You have to admit, she really is one of the smartest people you know.
“Annabeth,” you smile. “I guess you want me by the flag?”
“No, I debated that, but I decided against it.”
She smirks and looks at you before spinning around, pointing to Luke and his team members who are always in charge of getting the flag.
“You’ll be with Luke.”
You frown. “You do realize I have absolutely no skill in battle, right, Annabeth?”
“Yeah, but skill doesn’t matter when you have power. Power over someone.”
“Oh, okay. Who do you want me to charmspeak-”
“Charmspeak whoever you come across, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have power over Clarisse. I know she’s defending the flag today, right?”
She looks at you sharply.
You smile. “Oh, I really don’t know. But if you say so, sure.”
She starts walking, you follow her.
“Clarisse doesn’t talk strategy to you? I mean, I talk Luke’s ear off.”
“Oh, no, she does, I just don’t really retain any of it.”
She huffs a small sound of laughter.
“I know she’ll be there,” she affirms.
“If you say so!” you say, all sing song, Luke smiling as he meets your eyes.
“Y/N! How’s it feel to finally be on the winning team?”
“I love being on the red team, thanks for asking.”
“Ha. You’re so funny, are you sure you’re not a child of Apollo?”
“Too beautiful,” you glide your hands down your face. “I get it from my godly mother.”
“Luke, do you know what you’re doing?” Annabeth asks.
“Yes ma’am.”
She smiles and walks away, talking to more people while you can faintly hear Clarisse shouting at people. With the change in tactic, you know she’s been slightly stressed, but she won’t allow herself to feel anything other than confidence, outwardly.
She still walks tall. She still grips her spear in her hand a little to tight. She’s a bit too greedy with the things that are hers, she grabs on a bit too tight, but you know it’s just because she’s scared. You like it.
If this were a regular game, you would probably be walking next to Clarisse right now, or kissing her goodbye while you follow Matty and everyone else to go protect the flag.
When you and Clarisse first started dating, she was slow to be so affectionate, but the more of her walls you started breaking down the more you found a complicated teenage girl who felt unloved, and had a lot of love to give too.
The more confident she became in your private relationship, the more she wanted everyone to know. It was her fatal flaw, pride, hubris. She wanted everyone to know she was yours and your were hers. She wanted everyone to be jealous.
“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear those horrible earplugs today. They always make me worried. Someone could be shouting a few feet away and none of us would hear.”
“Stop gloating, Luke.”
“I’m just expressing my gratitude, Y/N, is that not allowed?”
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Oh, oh, I know. You’re sad, aren’t you?”
“Sad?” you snort.
“Yeah, sad. Sad you aren’t with Clarisse. You’re devastated, destroyed, wrecked.”
You put your hand on your sword. “Who are you… and what have you done with Luke Castellan? Luke doesn’t know that many words…”
He hits your shoulder. “Shut up, Y/N.”
—-
You’re walking through the woods.
Not sneaking around in stealth, not running, but walking.
You’ve come across a few of your former team members, but one of the blue team just tackles them and you tell them to turn around and count to 5,000.
For some reason, it’s worse than sitting by the rock, waiting for someone to make a play for the flag. At least at the rock you’re surrounded by all these people you know. You and Matty are usually talking, Marjorie sometimes joins, and you all have fun bullying Corey for that one time he didn’t see the blue team coming.
Luke’s voice drops to a whisper.
“Here’s your job. You can either, one, go make out with Clarisse in a corner, which shouldn’t be too hard-”
“Luke,” you hit his shoulder. He hisses.
“I’m joking, joking. Just keep her distracted, fight her, maybe pull your shirt down a bit? Oh, or I can just cut it so it’s a bit more revealing-”
“Luke, shut up or else I will make you.”
“It’s not a bad idea-”
“Luke!”
“Sh, sh,” he whispers. “Don’t be so loud, we’re almost to the flag. We’re going for stealth, okay?”
“Oh, really, I didn’t notice,” you deadpan. He looks around.
“Blue team, stealth mode, alright?”
Everyone nods. You roll your eyes. You miss the red team.
—-
After Luke gives you the ok, meaning the blue team has successfully surrounded the red team and the clearing, you take a step forward.
Annabeth was right. Clarisse is there.
It’s fitting. If you can’t be there, she would.
You look up at Corey, but he hasn’t noticed any of you yet. You frown, thinking about how he’s probably going to get beat up.
“Clarisse!” you shout. You watch everyone jump into defensive positions. She can’t see you yet, but she stares in the direction of your voice, her eyes squinting, smiling softly.
“Luke?” she shouts. “That you?”
You frown.
“What the hell?” you say, stepping forward. “You don’t recognize my voice? I thought that was really smart. Like, a cool way to reveal myself, I don’t know.”
You come into the clearing, sword by your side.
Clarisse’s smile drops.
“I-I- no, baby, I just wasn’t expecting Annabeth to send you here-”
“Do I really sound like Luke?”
“No,” she says, immediately. “You sound like an angel.
Matty laughs. Clarisse stabs his foot with the end of her spear. She smiles at you.
“Is Luke here though?” Marjorie asks, subtly trying to look through the trees.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you do,” Matty snorts.
“You’re going to tell me though right, baby?” Clar smiles, stepping closer until she’s right in front of you.
“Obviously not, you didn’t recognize me. I’m, like, really hurt by that Clarisse-”
“Gods, Clarisse,” Matty shouts at the sky, laughing. You didn’t recognize her, and now we’re all fucked!”
“Shut the fuck up, Matty,” she says over her shoulder. She looks at you, smiling again, her hand reaching out to touch your face. “I’ll let you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.”
You smile, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’ll let me give you a makeover? Really?”
“Yes.” Her teeth grit, but she keeps smiling, her thumb rubbing your cheek.
“Hm, I don’t know,” you mutter, your eyes fixing on her spear when you suddenly reach forward, grabbing it from her hands and turning to run away.
The blue team emerges from the woods with war cries, swords start clashing, and it all happens so fast.
The plan was for you to grab her spear, make her chase you around the woods, and hopefully the blue team would be able to overpower the red team without her.
Instead, Clarisse kicks out her foot, tripping you. Then, she catches you and the spear in what you swear has to be a milisecond.
“Clarisse!” you shout, genuinely offended. She beat you so easily. It wasn’t even a fight. You didn’t even get the chance to run.
“Sorry, baby, it’s capture the flag!”
You about to start kicking like a wild animal when she suddenly lets you go. Luke is there, fighting her while you pick your sword up from the ground that fell in the commotion.
One of your team members dropped their helmet and you pick that up too.
You’re not that bad of a fighter, Clarisse just knows everything about you, you tell yourself. But your pride is slightly wounded and you want to prove to her, yourself, and everyone that you’re not just a weak Aphrodite kid or some poor thing that hangs off Clar’s arm.
You can hold your own.
You stick the helmet on and step into the fight. Someone groans and a sword comes wishing through the air, but you block it.
They swing again.
You block it.
You picked up things from Clarisse, and, besides, you weren’t just sparring for fun. She actually teaches you, better than the actual sword practice teacher if your biased opinion is to be trusted.
But you probably just feel that way because she rewards you with kisses.
It seems like you’re actually winning for a second, about to disarm him, when he seems to get fed up with fighting you and suddenly arcs hard over your head, making you lose your footing and letting him kick you.
You land on your back, groaning and trying to catch your breath.
“That was such a bitchy move,” you mumble. He leans over you, about to kick the sword out of your hand-
“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Samuel.”
She holds her spear right under his throat, and he finally seems to look at your face instead of just your blue helmet.
“Shit. Sorry. Sorry, Clarisse, I’m sorry.”
She looks like she’s about to kill him but she just pushes him away.
“I was winning,” you groan. “But then he kicked me.”
She kicks him as he walks away.
You expect her to tug you up and start lecturing you but instead she leans down and throws you over her shoulder.
“Wha- Clarisse!”
“That’s enough for you today,” she says, patting the back of your thigh.
“Clarisse, I swear to Hades, let me down!”
“One second,” she mumbles.
When she places you down on the ground again, you’re leaning against a tree. She grabs your hand, frowning at something.
It’s the smallest cut, barely there, but Clarisse of course acts like it’s the end of the world.
“Does it hurt?”
Your eyes fix on Luke behind her, stalking slowly towards her turned back.
“No, Clar, it’s fine. Now I-”
“I think you should go the nurse.”
Your mouth drops open. “Clarisse, it’s a paper cut!”
“And if it gets infected? Go away, Luke, I can hear you.”
He locks eyes with you but ultimately turns around with a very scared and annoyed look on his face.
“Now do you see why I was all messed up? I knew this was going to happen. You were gonna get hurt, and it was going to be my fault.”
You roll your eyes. “It’s not your fault, Clarisse-”
“But isn’t it? You would have been at the flag if Annabeth hadn’t known how much you mean to me. Instead, you were here. Instead, you were rushing off to go fight someone-”
“I’m not a damsel in distress, Clar!”
She presses her lips together.
“I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on you for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.”
You didn’t even know you were feeling this way until you felt it. But it’s always been there, you guess. You always watch Clarisse spar and know she could never do anything like that with you. And you thought you were fine with it, and you are fine with having things that you like and things that she likes- but you don’t want to be so useless anymore.
She’s silent for a second.
“I- I get that. I do. But I just don’t know how to tell you I… I love you without showing it. I’m not good at saying it, you know that.”
“Clarisse,” you frown.
She puts her hands on your face.
“You are… the most precious thing in the world to me, Y/N. I really hope you know that.”
You wrap your arms around her neck, you can feel her heart thump from the fight.
“I know that, Clarisse. Of course I know that. You show me every day, I just- I just want to feel like my own person.”
She grips you tighter. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll teach you to fight. But you have to do it how I say, and you can’t go off and do this-”
You pull back so you can make sure this is real.
“Really?” you smile.
“You have to listen to me, Y/N, and do it slowly, okay-”
“Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,” you breathe, planting your hands on your face before kissing her. It’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s exactly what you think of when you think of her. You think of the side that’s yours, the side that only you can see.
You break it, leaning down to pick up her spear.
The red team is losing the fight behind you.
“Ok, go win capture the flag. And I’ll stay here. My hand does kinda hurt,” you mumble.
She smiles and kisses your cheek. “Not just a paper cut, huh?”
“Can I still give you a makeover?” you ask as she turns away.
“Maybe!”
—-
y/n: what why did you not recognize me ☹️☹️
clarisse, genuinely terrified: i have no idea what the hell you are talking about please please please don’t take away kissing privileges please please please
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008
(pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!)
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talaok · 8 months
Text
Needy
Pairing: Joel Miller x reader
Summary: Joel needs his fix of you, and he doesn't care if it makes you late.
Warnings: smut| oral sex (f receiving) and coming untouched. Joel is a little more sub in this one and he's obsessed with eating you out.
a/n: guys, i have a confession to make, i do not know what this is, i wrote it tonight and boy i'm so tired that i'm honestly not really sure about what i typed, but i was in the mood and i like this thing of Joel tuesdays im doing so... hope you'll enjoy.
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"you look gorgeous, baby"
It didn't take a genius.
The way he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his body to yours, the way he whispered in your ear, the way he didn't break eye contact, looking at you from the mirror as he kissed your neck...
Joel Miller might have been a hard man to understand many times, but not when it was about sex.
"Joel" you stopped him immediately, neglecting the shimmers of pleasure he had ignited inside of you from such a small gesture "We don't have time"
If he heard you, he didn't show it.
His kisses only grew hotter and lower down your neck.
"Baby I'm serious" you breathed, feeling one of his hands travel down your sides "We're gonna be late"
Even with a bad ear, he should have definitely heard that, but his only response was a low groan and an attempt to hike up your dress.
"Baby-"
"just a peek" he murmured, sending a shiver up your spine "Just wanna look at her"
Even if your natural response was to roll your eyes, hearing him so desperate was doing things to you.
"please" he breathed "I'll be quick"
And after a moment of silence, as you considered what he'd just said, you finally huffed out a "fine"
It's just one peek after all, what could go wrong?
He had turned you around and was on his knees before you had time to blink, and your dress was pulled up to your belly before you could take a breath.
You watched him as he held your waist like you were a long-lost treasure he'd just found, and as his eyes trained on your clothed core with so much hunger and lust to turn them completely black.
And then slowly, oh so slowly, his right hand came to help, removing that torturous piece of fabric obstructing his view of (as he referred to it) "the most perfect pussy on the planet" 
"fuck" he groaned, his pupils dilatating so much they were one with his iris.
You let out a small chuckle at his amazement
"There, you saw it, can we go no-" you tried to speak, but were quickly interrupted
"just a kiss" 
He didn't even sound like himself, but like he was in a trance.
"just one" he breathed, leaning closer
You sighed, before agreeing 
"one"
And he didn't even answer you, he just went straight to it, groaning loudly as he kissed you right on your clit.
"Joel..." your hand found his hair, as a shock of pleasure coursed through you.
"just another one" he murmured, not giving you time to protest before his lips were on your core again, this time forcing a whimper out of your mouth.
"baby-"
But another groan of his interrupted your train of thought
"fuck you taste so fucking good" his eyes glanced up at you "I could eat you for every meal"
"Joel we're gonna be la-"
"let me taste you a little better" he growled, "just a bit, ok?"
But again, before you had time to give him a half-hearted excuse, he'd dived in, taking your pussy in his mouth like it was his lifelong duty.
His tongue was now swirling over your bud, your hole, and along your slit, making you forget all about your plans and the people waiting for you at the restaurant.
"shit baby" you moaned "f-fuck"
His hold on your waist got tighter, and soon, you realized his definition of "a bit" was much different from yours, as he didn't look like he had any intention of stopping, and to be honest, you were more than happy about it.
His nose was rubbing against your mound, you could feel his mustache tickling your skin and the way his tongue was tasting and savoring all of you was making you ascend to another universe, one where you didn't fall for Joel Miller's stupid tricks every time for example.
"J-Joel" 
And usually, he was very talkative during sex, for being such a man of a few words he really loved to talk when he was inside of you, but not when his mouth was busy, never, when his mouth was busy.
Eating your pussy for him was like a drug, I’m not kidding, you'd never met any other man who loved giving head like Joel did, most mornings than not you'd wake with him between your legs and go to sleep the same way, and when he didn't get his fix... well, you ended up arriving late at the restaurant.
"oh my god" you moaned, gripping his locks with more strength as his lips closed on your clit, sucking it deliciously "Joel fuck I-"
And that's the other thing, not only was Joel obsessed with going down on you, he was also amazing at it. Sometimes you didn't even last a full minute.
"f-fuck baby I-"
And with one final stroke of his tongue, you were pushed over the edge and left wailing and crying as the orgasm took over your body.
He drank every single drop of your pleasure, not stopping to lick your pussy until you literally pulled him away by his head because you couldn't do it anymore.
"fuck" you exhaled, as your breathing tried to get back to normal.
He fixed your dress for you as he stood back up
"you're perfect" he murmured, a smile from ear to ear plastered on his face before he kissed you, letting you have a taste of yourself "fucking perfect"
You chuckled as you wrapped your arms behind his neck and kissed him again"We don't have time for me to take care of you too baby"
His lips pulled into a more shy smile now "yeah, that's not really necessary anyway"
You frowned, looking at him, before you let your eyes fall to his crotch.
A dark stain covered the front of his jeans.
"oh my god" you huffed out a laugh "go change"
"right away m'am" he nodded, giving you another quick kiss
"and wash your mouth a little bit"
And at that, he smirked 
"not a chance, sweetheart"
Your head tilted as you rolled your eyes at him.
"You, Joel Miller" you cocked an eyebrow as you looked into his hazel eyes"are a gross, gross perv"
A lazy smile pulled at his lips
"Only for you darlin'"
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