#teenage-me would be so proud | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

turtleblogatlast · 5 months

Text

Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.

My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.

I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?

And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.

Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.

Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.

So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)

He even gave up his prized possession! His room!

Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.

Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.

Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.

He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.

He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.

Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet #anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell #and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well?#yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too #tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories #I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well!#he deserves a win definitely #but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts #wanna make this hurt more?#how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won #why?#because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one #because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo #makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there #nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo #which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally #just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well #splinter bro plz talk to your sons #but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement #just *seeing* him #so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion #*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or…#or…

470 notes · View notes

jazzy-mass · 1 year

Text

“Thought you would always be right there by my side, can’t you just promise you’ll wait.” - Hands by Orkid

@somerandomdudelmao is really out here trying to kill us all in the best way possible /lh

184 notes · View notes

pushing500 · 4 months

Text

Comparing 2015 OC art to 2023 OC art

I'm kind of just doing this so I can see the difference, but y'all can look too if you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Angsty 2015 vampire OCs (The Berardi brothers). I'd been writing stories about these guys since 2013 but was still working out what I wanted them to look like. Originally only Pascal (the youngest) and Antioco (the oldest) had names, but in my melodramatic teenage scrawling I named more of them and decided that, one day, there would be one hundred vampires in this family...

And so in 2023, I made teenage Gracie proud and drew/came up with backstories for 100 vampires (they're half-vampires now though).

Most of these guys aren't around in the "main timeline" of my oc universe, but there's more than enough art and story on my laptop set in the aptly named "Berardi Timeline" when they were all still alive.

The surviving ones are this bunch here, my lovely boys~

Yeah, I think I can see some improvement in my art. 😂 Hopefully, by the end of 2024, I can look back and see even more!

One day I swear I'll get down to business and write an actual story about one or more of my 600+ OCs, buuuut... not today. Rimworld go brrrrrrrr

#gracie's ocs #art #my art #traditional art #original characters #the Berardi timeline #2015-2023 art comparison #I think teenage Gracie would be proud of me #apologies to those of you who followed me for rimworld content lol #Y'all gotta put up with my cringe ocs from highschool every now and again #They might be cringey #But by god did I have fun drawing them #I love them all so much #I think everyone needs comfort ocs #Maybe not 100 of them but you know #the more the merrier #Have a great day everyone! I love you <3 <3

15 notes · View notes

pines-eyes · 9 months

Text

Hate that I would tell myself that TMNT was "a baby show for kids"- what would a 13 year old Pine think of me now??

Also note; this is my first time making a comic so- :p

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #mutant mayhem #im not mentally stable #little me would be so proud #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #comics are hard

16 notes · View notes

altaisms · 9 months

Text

holy fuck after 8 long years i can finally draw originshipping and be happy with how it turns out

#ive been throwing darts at a wall trying to draw them for like. fucking days now and UGH FINALLY #steven tag.#wallace tag.#originshipping tag #ok to rb #my art #teenage me would be so proud

16 notes · View notes

leonidskies · 9 days

Text

Man I thought signing up to review ARCs of books would be a win-win (I get to read books for free and the author gets a review) but it turns out it's lose-win bc I get to read this INCREDIBLE book for free and I can't tell all my friends to read it right now immediately bc it's NOT OUT UNTIL JUNE

#anyway. preorder something to be proud of by anna zoe quirke #it's queer coming of age abt an autistic teenager setting up an activist group. I've been in pieces reading it the whole time #it's YA so it's a very easy read and i love the characters so so so much #this book would have fixed me when i was 16

2 notes · View notes

astrxealis · 8 months

Text

okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s #reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic #which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???)#BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with #more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way!#oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is.#i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah!#so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3 #rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!!#okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there!#idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too.#i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs #i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3 #i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows!#anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3 #anyway. okay. leaving it here.#cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3 #huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking #ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah?#can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also #quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)

7 notes · View notes

stymecoulli · 1 year

Text

This is the beginning of a Future!Leosagi fic, loosely based on @meandtheyeehaws Leosagi, prior to them meeting (they get more similar as time goes on i swear). I have been writing this for the past two and a half hours. It is past four AM. I have work tomorrow.

I need to find a better sleep schedule.

TW: Blood, Death, Poorly written panic attacks, Angst (i suppose)

Enjoy!

“Okay Hana, just breathe with me, it’s going to be okay, all right?”

Usagi’s little sister heaved another breath. Her body was shaking, tears puddling in her eyes as though they were liquid themselves. Looking around at the nearby yokai, he realized she wasn’t the only one. Children, teenagers, adults alike clung to one another, sobbing. Mourning the loss of their home.

“Just in and out, like this, see? You’re doing great.”

The scream behind him rang loudly in his ears. He tugged at them for comfort before realizing they had fallen out of their band. In the midst of everything he hadn’t even noticed. He squeezed his paws into fists, a technique his Auntie had taught him, to ground himself.

Bile rose in his throat. Auntie.

His fists tightened, squeezing harder than she had probably anticipated would be necessary. He couldn’t think about her. Not when the wound was so fresh. Not with Hana right in front of him.

He could not break down now.

Not when the world was ending before his very eyes.

“You’re okay, Hana, I’m here.”

The stones lining the roof of the hidden city gave an unsympathetic CRACK in the background. The wails of dying yokai echoed around the underground. He felt the urgency of those around him tighten as more yokai flooded in, attempting to escape the same way they all were.

“I��m right here.”

The elevator to the overcity was a pitifully small thing. Used only as a last resort, it was an ancient piece of junk that couldn’t possibly carry more than ten yokai before it broke, much less the hundreds gathered around it. But it did not matter. The worthless pile of trash was the only hope left for everyone in the hidden city. Everyone alive, that was.

Usagi heard a whimper next to him, and he took Hana’s hand. She trembled and clung to her brother’s leg, terrified of the lack of space she suddenly had. Terrified because her auntie, her friends weren’t there with her. She sniffled, squeezing Usagi’s leg even tighter. He rubbed circles into her paw pads, trying to soothe her.

“Shh… Hana, I’m right here, okay! We’re almost to the overcity; we’ll be safe there.” Hana looked up, her gaze a pool of grief. Usagi’s heart panged. “It’ll be an adventure, just the two of us! We’re finally going to the overcity, just like you’ve always wanted!”

Usagi tried to keep his voice as light and airy as he could, but he knew Hana wasn’t convinced. “But I-I wanted Aun-Auntie to c-come…” She tripped over her words as her upper lip trembled. Usagi placed his paw on her head, scratching it lightly. He smiled weakly.

“Me too. But you have me, and I won’t leave you.”

Suddenly, the shrill CREAK of rusted elevator beams echoed around the caverns, its ear-piercing sound the song of hope sung by the gods themselves. Yokai everywhere crowded around him, and Usagi tried to move, tried to move forward, but the familiar weight of his younger sister was cemented onto his leg. He panicked, “Hana, let go. We have to get to the elevator, now.”

But Hana wasn’t moving. Usagi wasn’t sure she could hear him. She had been violently shivering, sobs wracking her chest. Her face was hidden away from him. Something in Usagi broke, and the realization dawned on him that he couldn’t leave the hidden city. He couldn’t leave because he would have to leave Hana, a fate worse than dying.

And as screaming yokai filtered in around him, Usagi knelt to the ground and pulled his sister in close for one, final hug. Their breathing synced up, their heartbeats becoming one. With a shattered heart and a broken spirit, he thought that this wasn’t such a bad way to die after all. Here, with his sister, he could pass in peace.

A scream, a heartbreaking, manic scream whipped through Usagi’s ears like claws on a chalkboard. Still curled around his sister, he looked up at the source of the sound, at the top of the elevator. His stomach plummeted.

A kappa was on the roof of the elevator, leaving over the rail as it descended, so far over that Usagi was scared he would fall. His scream was one filled with sadness and terror, his gaze pinned on the ground below him. Before the kappa had any chance of reaching the ground, however, his voice was drowned out by thunder.

No, not thunder. The cracking of rocks directly overhead.

Usagi went rigid.

Everything went quiet, the shock of it all blocking out every noise.

In his shock he tried to get up but couldn’t there was something on his leg

and he couldn’t move and there were too many people around and they were all

heading towards the kappa who got off the elevator and collapsed sobbing and tried to run

off away from the crowd before he was trampled and he fell because suddenly there was a rock in front of him

on top of him the rock was on top of him

Breathe, Usagi.

In, out. Like the river by the farm.

Squeeze your fists, ground yourself.

You’re okay.

Usagi was okay.

He shook his head, fighting off the shock. The kappa wasn’t the only one who was in danger, Usagi had to focus on that. He had to focus on his surroundings first. He squeezed his fists and turned to look at Hana once more. She was still on his pant leg, holding on for dear life. Good. At least one of them had something reliable to ground themselves with.

The rocks thundered in the background. Usagi felt his breath hitch, realizing there was no hope left for either of them. With his last will, he found it in himself to smile once more for his sister.

“It’ll be okay, Hana. Everything is going to be all right. I’m not going anywhere.”

A thunderous CRACK and a choir of screams indicated that his last remaining moments of life were fleeting.

The last thing he saw before his world went dark was the terrified face of his little sister, holding onto his left leg.

And the world ended.

…Or so he had thought.

Usagi’s head spun as though on an axis. His vision was fuzzy and out of focus; he couldn’t feel any part of his body. He felt paralyzed, frozen in place.

He coughed, a warm, dark crimson liquid accompanying his airway. It spilled over his eyes too, like warm honey he might have on toast. His chest ached. He couldn’t feel his body.

The adrenaline pumping through his body numbed the pain, but Usagi was aware of its presence. How could he not be, with the blood pooling around his head growing by the second? Everything ached. His body, his chest, his heart all ached from pure numbness.

It took everything in him to channel enough energy to use his muscles. He stretched his neck and shoulders, whimpering in pain. Eventually he attempted to move his arms, to no avail. He could feel them, but they felt so far away, as though they were in another plain of reality, one Usagi was not yet familiar with. His legs felt very similarly.

Except for his left leg.

No, his left leg didn’t feel distant or numb.

It didn’t feel like anything.

With all the adrenaline he could possible muster, Usagi lifted his head, momentarily fogged by dizziness. He heaved his torso upwards, crying out in pain. When he had settled, he looked forward and froze.

A rock, a thousand times the size of him, towered before him. Its granite bleakness was nothing like the shimmering sky he had grown so used to seeing. It was jarring.

He looked down. The rock had flattened his left leg, completely demolishing it to the point of obliteration. Usagi’s stomach plummeted. He felt tears brim in his eyes and creep down his face. Loosing a limb was nothing like loosing a loved one, but it was a part of Usagi. Now, he could never get it back.

Speaking of loved ones, Usagi turned side to side, looking for Hana. If the giant stone had managed to only snag his leg, surely she would be alive. The gods could have spared her; her last look of stricken terror would no longer be her final moments. As she clung to his leg—

His left leg.

Usagi felt the world go silent once more.

He couldn’t hear his own screams, only his aching chest. He didn’t register falling backwards, only the way that he could feel liquid pooling on a hard surface below himself. Bile rose in his throat, refusing to stay inside this time, accompanied by a never ending stream of blood that soaked his fur.

Hana.

His sister, the light of his life, was gone.

Usagi screamed and cried for what seemed like an eternity. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, nothing was fair about this situation. Everyone had died. Auntie had died. Hana was dead. And Usagi knew, even in his state of deliriousness, a part of him had died too.

Later, much later, Usagi heard a shuffle behind him.

He couldn’t speak; too much blood clotted his throat. He couldn’t move to signify he was alive and get help, so he didn’t. He was paralyzed where he was, helpless to watch as a green yokai wearing a blue mask limped forward.

Wait.

Recognition flared through Usagi, a burning, dangerous thing. This yokai was the kappa on top of the elevator, the kappa that had destroyed the last of the hidden city. The one who killed Hana, but not him with her.

This was the yokai responsible for all this pain, and he was the one to survive.

Usagi could barely register the kappa’s cries of anguish and sorrow, suddenly too overwhelmed by rage to feel a morsel of sympathy. This yokai was a villain. He ruined the world, had killed so many people. He was worse than any villain Usagi had ever encountered.

He deserved to die.

As the kappa limped away, Usagi promised himself that he would not leave forever. As a samurai, it was his job to protect the world from evil. His heart hardened, his eyes so full of blood that he was seeing more red than not. Trying to go after him proved to be unsuccessful, as he was still trapped under the broken roof of his home. He grimaced, knowing what he had to do.

I am sorry, Hana. I don’t want to abandon you like this, but I am not sure I have much choice. I am sorry I cannot stay.

Usagi pulled out his katana from its hilter.

With all my heart, I love you.

As he sliced though his own flesh and bone, Usagi screamed. His gasps of anguish echoed around him, but to no avail. No one came.

He tore his right sleeve off and tied it around where his leg… ended in a makeshift tourniquet. Usagi opened his mouth and breathed. The air tasted like iron and salt, smelled like granite and rust. But it felt like purpose.

Usagi Yuichi had one goal at the start of the apocalypse: to end the life of the kappa who had caused so much suffering, or die trying.

For his family and the world, Usagi had to be a hero.

if you’re still here thanks for reading. yeah i’ll probably finish this at some point but the whole story will be like one giant oneshot like Midnight Blue and Five Cents because that’s my favorite type of fic, but it’ll be a WHILE before that happens. I just need to get this bit out there bc if not loosing that much sleep was for nothing.

have a fantabulous day!

#leosagi #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #usagi yuichi #leonardo hamato #writers #fanfic #save rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #lol this fic made me so tired #kindof proud of it tho #now to go rest (hopefully)#also i would like to mention i have yet to watch the usagi chronicles #sorry for the inaccuracies!

31 notes · View notes

itspileofgoodthings · 9 months

Text

in the most concrete way yet I feel like I’m getting a handle on what my flaws and weaknesses actually are lol.

#self-absorption poor impulse control an addictive personality #fiercely independent/sensitive/proud past the point of reason #anyway it feels like a real breakthrough honestly #because I’ve always known that there was stuff wrong but only in a dim sense #and this is a slow-gathering clearer picture #because the problem is that flaws don’t feel like flaws at first (so obvious I know)#my impulse can feel like inspiration! a wave of emotion always feels good! I have a rich internal life there’s a lot to think about #with regards to myself #but actually those all can be such negative and hurtful traits.#also it kills my pride to know that the people who love me already know these Lol #because they’re the ones who have to live with them!! And who are affected by them!#anyway the self-absorption one especially. I feel like there’s been so much to work through and figure out this past year #that made me turn inward more #and some of it was necessary #but I’m so aware of how much I want to get out of that space. and truly be open to other people and experiences and the world #in a way that is not just filtered through my internal journey #anyway anyway (a final thought) the pattern of my 20’s has been either self-absorption or complete absorption into the one or two things #that I/my anxiety allowed into the space of my heart and mind #as a kind of counter to the teenage state which was just information pouring in from all sides #but I would like to be able to reopen some of those informational floodgates so to speak. and let stuff in in a real and balanced way #because I don’t think I’m going to drown or be swept away in it (I am so scared of losing my identity in a sea of information)#one of my root fears! but it’s like. No. Bones not made of glass etc. etc. so you can start to think about yourself less #you SHOULD #anyway thank you for listening. there have been some very good (self) revelations lately <3 #painful ones! but good

8 notes · View notes

teaandinanity · 1 year

Text

Yep, looks like this is happening. Here’s the first segment of the uh. 17 pages and counting I’ve written going ‘I can make this better worse’ about I Was A Teenage Exocolonist.

[cut]

They wonder, sometimes, if the augment was a response to their nightmares.

They’ve always had them. When they sleep, they remember things that haven’t happened yet, awful things, things that left scars on a psyche significantly more well-equipped to handle them than that of a toddler.

They’re not a toddler anymore. The dreams - the memories - have only gotten worse.

They can’t talk about it. They tried a few times as a little kid. They tried, only to be told they were just dreams. That alone probably wouldn’t have stopped them; what did was the creeping certainty that if they didn’t stop, the adults would decide there was something wrong with them, something that needed fixing.

At eight, they haven’t tried in years. They know that if they’re too strange, the adults will try to fix them, and it would mean everything went wrong again. The dreams aren’t a problem; they’re a warning.

They don’t need to be fixed. Sol doesn’t need to be fixed. What they need is to fix the shields. Which they can’t do until they understand what’s going to go wrong.

They sit on the floor with the engineering manuals they used to demand to be read instead of storybooks and stare at the diagrams, trying to force their developing brain to grasp concepts that were challenging as a teenager, frustrated enough to cry.

They do cry, tears welling up and sliding down their face, but they don’t sob. They don’t make a sound, tucked away in a corner, and that means no one notices. No one but Congruence, but they changed their privacy settings off the infant alerts as soon as they could speak. No one noticed that, either.

The temperament augment doesn’t keep them from feeling desperation or despair or fear, but it means they deal with what’s troubling them quietly, in a way that doesn’t trouble anyone else. So they cry quietly through eyes they don’t let waver from the diagrams, repeating mathematical formulae in their head, making sure they have them memorized.

This time, it’s going to be different.

#Tina continues to encourage and enable me so I'm posting the first snippet #'cause I'm kind of proud of this bit even if I don't like... finish rewriting the whole game #also my poor baby Sol here is extra bonus traumatized because they remember more than in-game Sol does #so they have like #several lifetimes worth of Horrible shoved into their developing brain #and they remember being able to emotionally regulate and their augment helps some but at a certain point #all the Copium in the world will not help you #if the trauma just Keeps Happening #sometimes I write things #iwate #i was a teenage exocolonist #if any of you are going 'Tea what are you doing Tea stop traumatizing that child'#I would like you to know #I am that John Mulaney skit most of the time #'I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing'

26 notes · View notes