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#technically i still can because it’s all rotting in my notes app. but that’s not as fun.
digyoman · 6 months
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thinking about earlier this year and even last year when i was so deeply hyperfixated on lloyd & he was all i could think about and yet i barely shared any of my thoughts on here. i kind of want to kick myself about it now actually because i know i had so many things to say and so much i wanted to do but i never made it happen. why was i a coward.
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spicyspencerreid · 4 years
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Just Friends|Part 5
A Timothée Chalamet Imagine: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
THIS TOOK ME SO LONG FOR NO REASON. Okay well lots of reasons. Distance learning is destroying me. Anyway I hope you enjoy!!!!
Female!Reader, Dancer/Actress!Reader, CoStar!Reader, FrenchSpeaking!Reader// 4,656 Words
Summary of part one, two, three, and four// Reader and Timothée are best friends. They are going to be costars on a new movie where Y/n plays a dancer and has a small, but still important, role, and Timothée’s a lead. There’s a storm and Y/n’s hotel is having issues, so she has to stay in Timothée’s apartment. She stays with him really realizes she likes him, then he starts dating Lily, asks to go out to dinner so everyone can meet her. Then they break up, boom Timothée and Y/n kiss. Now Y/n has been asked to go on Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts with James Corden, but their relationship is still secret.
Warnings// Grammar/spelling and lack of proofreading. FLUFFFFFFF!!!
Key: French writing (english translation), Y/n/n-Your nickname, Y/f/n-Your first name, Y/l/n-Your last name
(Added July 2020) Note: this whole series was written before Ansel Elgort’s allegations arose, and honestly, in the most disrespectful way possible: I hope he rots in hell. I ALWAYS stand with the victim, and if that’s going to be a problem, find another series to read. If the mention of his name is triggering to you, PLEASE do not read. If you or anyone you know has been sexually assaulted or abused, do not be afraid to speak up, but if that’s not the route you personally want to take: you can call 1-800-656-4673, available 24 hours every day and 100% confidential.
Not my gif (but isn’t it absolutely adorable): enjoy!!!!
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It was 2:00 AM and you were pacing around the kitchen, but what you were really doing, was overreacting. And while you were overreacting, you definitely weren’t being irrational. This was a problem. You’d just gotten off the phone with Kelsey, you’re publicist who was in Rome with your assistant, Kelly, and she was beyond happy to inform you she’d already talked to Zendaya’s publicist and the both of you would be joining James Corden next week on his show. This would be completely fine if it was just a normal interview, you’d done many TV interviews, but no, Kelsey didn’t just sign you up for a normal interview, she signed you up for spill your guts or fill your guts.
It’d been almost a week and a half since Timothée had pushed you up against a wall and finally did what the both of you had been aching for almost a full year. You were going to tell Kelsey, not like you had any choice anyway: you guys were practically sisters, except it was also her job to know everything happening in your life. 
Why you hadn’t told her about it though, that was for two reasons. One being, you didn’t know how combined with the fact that she was in Rome and there was a six hour time difference. Not to mention you were barely able to tell Z and Ansel, who probably would’ve been able to figure out just by looking at you. The other reason being that you were just stubborn. You were annoyed everyone was right, especially Kelsey. You would never forget it if you picked up the phone, dialed her number, and spoke, “Oh hey Kels, yeah that interview you signed me up for, can’t do that. Why you ask? Well, it turns out you, my mom, all of my friends, our fans, and the whole word was very, very right. Timmy and I? Yeah, we sucked face the other day. You and I both know I have the world’s weakest stomach, so if I get forced to choose between downing a shot of blended salmon or answering a question about Timothée, we’re going to need to figure out how we wanna address everything. Because while I would hate to lie on national television, I would rather perjure myself in front of the supreme court than bite into an animal dick.” As for you and Timothée, it had only been ten days, five of which you spent together. To be completely honest, you were absolutely terrified the night after he kissed you. 
“YOU WHAT?” You backed your phone away from your ear as Zendaya screamed into it from the other line, “I’m coming over.” She hung up before you could say anything else. About ten minutes later your door opened. You were laying face up on your hardwood floor, staring at the ceiling, contemplating your existence. Ansel laid down on the right side of you, Z taking your left.
“So...where is he,” Ansel asked, Z. They were both giddy, and you were laying there like an idiot, unable to get the smile off of your face. 
“He has a photoshoot,” you sighed out, “he’s very pretty, needs to be photographed for the world to see.” 
“So what happens now?” Z asked the question that a voice in the back in your head had been screaming as she poked into your side; you instantly started laughing at the poke in your weak spot. That was your one worry, what did happen now? The kiss was quick, but you both knew it meant something, and you were beyond happy, but that didn’t stop your worrying. Worrying about the same reason that stopped you from making a move earlier. You wish you didn’t worry, but you did, the public had been shipping you guys together almost since before you met, but what about your friendship? It seemed easy, it really did, you were already practically dating, just without the kissing, the sex, and the formal dates or announcement, but what was going to happen when things got complicated?
Soon, your worries started to simmer down. The next day, you and Timothée went out to breakfast, as usual, trying to keep to your hands to yourselves as much as possible. Lily already released a short twitter statement, saying that the relationship just didn’t work out, but swearing that they were both on great terms and planning to stay in touch throughout their careers. She said she’d be disgusted by any comments coming after how fast or slow her and Timothée moved on from their relationship, considering the fact they weren’t even officially in a relationship or anything, and considering all the hate she’d received while being involved with him. You’d called her shortly after, checking up to make sure she was alright, already feeling pretty guilty even though you knew their breakup technically wasn’t your fault. She’d told you she was alright, excited to start her new modeling campaign, even telling you not to tell anyone but she was starting a clothing line. She also lightly hinted towards you and Timothée, acknowledging the way he looked at you, her little way of giving you both her blessing. A couple had speculated this was your doing, earning you some lovely little DMs on Instagram calling you a home-wrecker. You and Timmy talked, for a while, and you were just happy it wasn’t awkward. After that you walked for a little bit, deciding you would take your day off as a shopping day. He kept his arm on your back as he usually did when you walked around the streets of New York, even though all you wanted to do was hold his hand. You knew what you both wanted. It was a tiny jump, barely existent, the jump from friends to more for you guys. It was obvious how close you were, and dating wouldn't change much, but really all you wanted was one thing. Time. Not away from Timothée, or your friends, or any of that, but just time to be happy together before you guys told the public. A week and three days was simply not enough time. 
You had to have only been pacing for a couple of minutes when Timothée made his way over to you. You went over to his apartment a little bit after lunch. You were beyond tired after a physically and mentally draining Giselle practice, so the first thing you did was shower and put on the comfiest clothes of his you could find. He turned on a movie, and you fell asleep super fast, snuggled in his arms under a pile of blankets on his couch. But of course, you were both awoken by your phone ringing, and with a groggy voice, you excused yourself into the kitchen to answer Kelsey’s call. 
Timothée’s hands scared you, causing you to shiver at his cold touch. He placed them on your shoulders, stoping your pacing, “What’s up?”
“Nothing’s up. I’m just thinking,” you put on your best fake smile, but your best wasn’t good enough. 
“You’re pacing in circles. When you’re in deep thought, you pace in straight lines, but when something’s bothering you, you pace in circles,” he lightly rubbed your tense shoulders, calming you down, before lightly kissing your lower neck. You sighed, pissed off he knew you as well as he did. 
“Z and I have to go on James Corden,” he backed away from you, and his face burst into a bright smile. He instantly knew what was going on.
“Kelsey? Elle ne le ferait pas...(she wouldn’t...)” he was full-on laughing at this point.
“Oh, she did,” you covered your face with your hands, trying to hide a laugh. 
“Spill your guts or fill your guts? There’s no fucking way...” if anyone knew how weak your stomach was, it was Timothée. About three weeks after meeting him, you, Z, Ansel, and he all had drinks at Ansel’s apartment. You usually didn’t drink more than one glass, because of your weak stomach, but Z had just been nominated for an award. So, you had three, maybe four, and then threw up all over Timmy’s shoes. You were mortified, the event has happened in the early stages of your friendship, where you still had that little celebrity crush, but he just laughed really, really hard. 
“Stop, I already feel nauseated just thinking about it. What am I supposed to say about us?”
“You don’t even know if they’re gonna ask...”
“We both know something about you is going to be asked.”
“You’re right, but people want us to date, and Lily’s in Italy right now, I’m almost positive she has an Italian boyfriend there, so we don’t have anything to worry about,” he wrapped his arm around your waist, and your head found its way to his chest. You both stayed there for a while, thinking before he reached in your back pocket for your phone, he opened the phone app and handed it to you.
“I just...je voulais du temps,” (I wanted time).
“Moi aussi,” (Me too) he sighed, “here, you should call Kelsey back,” you backed away to meet his eyes, sighing as you typed in her number in from memory. He didn’t move from his position, keeping his arms around your waist and hands resting on your exposed back.
“Hey Kels,” you were hesitating, and she could tell.
“Y/n...what did you do?”
“Um, am I on speaker?” It wouldn’t have been the first time 
“Kelly’s with me, what’s going on?” Kelly was gonna love this. 
“Timothée and I...um,” dead silence on the other side of the phone, you knew she knew where you were going with this, she just wanted to here you struggle to spit it out, “we’re...together,” you heard a little yelp come from Kelly, she might be your assistant, but just like Kelsey, she’s only a year apart in age difference, which means she was also like another friend to you.
“Oh my- Y/n?! How long?” Kelsey must’ve been pacing now, you could hear the sound of her heels click-clacking back and forth. 
“Only a little over a week, I swear, I was waiting to tell you, and I thought I had time, but then that interview, and...yeah,” the sound of her heels stopped, and you heard her trying to stifle a laugh, “Okay, let’s hear it,”
“Y/n Chalamet, Y/f/n Y/m/n Chalamet,” Kelsey could barely get it out, and you could hear Kelly’s wheezing laughter in the background. 
“Kelsey!” You looked up to see Timothée smiling, you reached up to cover his mouth with your hand.
“No, no wait, she’s definitely a hyphen kinda girl,” Kelly grabbed the phone out of Kelsey’s hand and spoke, you were blushing hard now, “Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n-Chalamet, I like the way that sounds,”
“That’s enough-” your voice was interrupted by Timothée’s laugh, your hand wasn’t enough to stop him. You were never gonna hear the end of this.
“Oh my god is he there?” Kelsey yelled into the phone. You removed your hand from his mouth. 
“Hey Kelsey,” you glared at Timothée, hating how he was just egging them on. 
“He’s in your apartment?!” Oh god. This is probably the best day of Kelsey’s life. 
“Um no, I’m in his apartment,” not like that was any better.
“Is he...naked?” Kelly whispered through a giggle, earning another laugh from Timothée.
“No, oh my god. Focus, we have a real issue here.” You spoke through laugher.
“Okay, okay, we’re flying in tomorrow. Once we’re all settled and well-rested we’ll come over and draft a statement or something, and we’ll do some interview prep.”
“Great, I’ll see you then, bye,” a weight had been lifted off of your shoulder.
“Bye, oh yeah and...bye Timothée,” you hung up as fast as you possibly could. 
“What are we gonna say? The media will eat this up, twist it, and then spit it back out, and we’ve only had like a week to ourselves, and everyone’s gonna think you and Lily broke up because of me, no matter what Lily says, she can’t stop that response, and-” you were rambling again. 
“Y/n/n, it’s gonna be fine, I swear. We’re gonna figure out what to say if anything gets leaked. If anyone can handle this, it’s you and Kelsey.” He lifted you up by your waist and spun you around, making you laugh as he spoke, “Everyone thinks we’re dating anyway, so we’ll just explain that we were in denial, which we definitely were by the way, and then it’ll be fine, we’ll be happy, and the whole world will be sunshine and rainbows.” He was laughing with you now, as he continued to spin you in his arms. 
“Timothée.” you giggled and he put you back down, “Je suis serieux.” (I’m serious.)
“Je sais, je sais,” (I know, I know) his smile faded and he stared at you for a second before pulling you in for a hug and muttering in your ear, “mais tu es fou si tu pense que j'attends une autre année pour être avec tu,” (but you’re crazy if you think I’m waiting another year to be with you) You smiled and playfully rolled your eyes at his corniness, knowing the Y/n from a year ago would be going crazy if she saw this. 
“Can you still walk me home?” Growing up in the city still didn’t change the fact that walking home alone at 2:00AM would be terrifying.
“Mhmm,” he snuggled his head into your neck, “do you have rehearsal tomorrow?” 
“Nope,” you shook your head, trying to ignore the fact that he completely dodged your question, “les entraînements de fin de semaine sont annulés pour ce mois.” (weekend practices are cancelled for this month.)
“Then...you can stay here tonight and I’ll walk you home in the morning,” he presented the idea with a few nerves in his voice, you’d spent the night at his place before, but never without Z or Ansel, and definitely not in his bed.
“Okay.”
“Vraiment?” (Really?) You were quick to answer, maybe too quick. He almost thought you were joking for a second.
“What?”
“Well if I knew it’d be that easy to get you into bed I would’ve done it a long time ago,” you laughed and slapped his arm, pretending to be angry, “oh that’s how it’s gonna be?” He lifted you up and ran into his room, laughing as he playfully slammed you into his very comfortable bed. He climbed over you, pinning you down by the shoulders and attacking you with his lips, leaving wet kisses all over your face. One he finished his kiss assault on your face, his lips met yours for a moment, stopping your giggling at it source.
“If you snore, I’ll suffocate you with a pillow,” you pulled away for a second, threatening him against his lips.
“Considering you’re a dancer, I thought you mind find a more creative way to take me out.”
“Very funny,” you said it sarcastically, kissing him once again. You both naturally pulled away, fatigue kicking into your system. You fell asleep with your head against his bare chest, the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. When you woke up Timothée walked you back to your apartment. A day passed and Kelsey called you once again, saying she and Kelly were coming over to your apartment for interview prep. You decided not to release a statement or anything, which was not exactly what you wanted. You weren’t exactly the most go with the flow kind of person, you wanted a plan, and you didn’t exactly get one. To be fair, there wasn’t exactly a way for you to just say “no comment” on national television without being obvious about what was going on. 
When the night of the show came you were doing it again, pacing, but this time in your dressing room. You were extremely nervous, and Z was beyond tired of it.
“The sound of your heels is giving me a headache,” you stopped for maybe three seconds to glare at her before continuing, “it’s going to be fine, how much damage can you do in a ten-minute interview?”
“We’ve all seen people destroy their careers in less than thirty seconds,”
“Yeah, but you’re not an idiot, do you wanna call Timothée?” Her request was genuine.
“Hell no, that’ll make me ten times more nervous,” talking to Timothée now would only drive you more insane, he might know how to calm you down, but hearing his voice right before speaking in front of millions would be a dangerous game to play. 
“Whatever happens we know how to go into damage control mode, we’re prepared for this kind of thing,” Kelly spoke from across the room, “...not that that’ll be necessary.” For an expert in public speaking, her eloquence was largely lacking today. 
“Ladies, we need to take you over to the stage entrance.” Kelly fixed your hair, gave you a quick hug, and sent you and Z on your way. You heard your names being presented and felt your knees go weak. Z linked arms with you as you walked across, you put on the best smile you could and made your way to the table. James gave you a quick hug as you greeted him. You sat down and took a deep breath.
“Nervous?” James smiled at you, way too happy about this.
“A little...um...I have a pretty weak stomach,” you spoke through clenched teeth. Zendaya tried to hold back a laugh as you spoke.
“Weak stomach is an understatement...,” you gave her an angry look as the audience laughed along with James.
“I’m just admiring what I got myself in to,” you locked eyes with the fish eyes across the table right in front of you, “Is it okay if I...” you slowly turned the table over a little bit so the bird saliva was right in front of you instead, still not appetizing, but better than eyes. James and Z laughed at you and you laughed along before James went along with the introduction.
“So here’s how this game works, even though I’m sure Y/n watches lots of this in her free time,” he turned to you and laughed as you shook your head and sucked on your lower lip, a nervous habit of yours, “we have platters of lovely food here,” he turned the table and presented all of them, Z jabbing you with her elbow when he presented the salmon smoothie, “we are each gonna ask each other questions. We’ll choose the food, then ask. I will ask to Y/n, Y/n to Zendaya, and Zendaya to me. If you don’t answer, then you eat. If you don’t want to eat, you just answer the question. It couldn’t be simpler.”
“Okay Y/n, I am going to give you...”
“What’re you going to torture me with James?”
“I can practically feel how nervous you are, so I’m going to be nice and give you the shot of hot sauce, how’s that?” You winced a little bit, knowing it wasn’t the worst, but knowing you’d take any chance to get out of it, “You like spicy food?”
“About as much as I like stubbing my toe, James,” you laughed a little, earning laughs from the audience and Zendaya as well.
“So the question is...” he let out a little giggle as he read, pausing for dramatic effect, “You are very close to Ansel Elgort,” you smiled and nodded, knowing he was crying laughing at his television with Timothée right now, “which is your least favorite movie of his?” The audience let out a little oooh. You stared at the drink in front of you. You started to reach for it and James let out a laugh.
“Really?” Zendaya said, .
“Your hand is shaking, look at her hand shaking,” he motioned to the audience, really soaking this up. You picked up the glass before sitting it back down.
“You know, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Paper Towns,”
“That’s such a cop-out, that’s one of his smallest roles!” James poked fun at you. 
“What can I say? I love his movies. Cara’s lovely in Paper Towns, and it wasn’t a bad movie or anything, I just wanted them to end up together, not that that makes a bad movie, I was just disappointed with the ending...” you were rambling at this point and Zendaya was giggling at you try to justify yourself and not get a text from Cara Delavinge later, “I’m just a hopeless romantic okay?”
“That’s for sure.” Z was taunting you at this point, enjoying this way too much. 
“Okay then Z, let’s see..., what should I give you?” You had a mischievous smile on your face.
“Oh no...” Z could’ve begged, but she knew the damage was already gone. 
“I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking bull penis?” You rotated the table, feeling less nervous as you knew you were only a couple questions away from ending the show, “and you’re question is...ah!” You let out a laugh.
“Spit it out, Y/n,” she playfully glared at you.  
“If you had to choose one cast member of the Greatest Showman to recast, who would you recast, and who would that be wi-” You didn’t finish as she picked up one of the bull penis and dropped it in her mouth. An uproar of applause came from the audience.
“Damn Z,” “Okay James, what should I give you?” She smiled at you before turning the table to James, hitting him with the scorpion. The next couple of questions were quick, you were only asked decently easy questions and were able to curve most of them, only having to drink a hot Cheeto smoothie, which wasn’t that bad. 
“Okay Y/n, you will be the last question of the night, and since you haven’t had to eat anything but that hot Cheeto smoothie, I think,” he turned the table, his eyes on the fish smoothie.
“No, James, I am begging you,” the pink drink sat in front of you. 
“Relax, you don’t even know what the question is and you look like you’re going to faint.” Zendaya squeezed your shoulder as James spoke through a laugh.
“She absolutely hates seafood. I tried to get her to eat shrimp the first night I met her and she was too sweet to say no, so she swallowed the whole thing and to this day I still have never seen anyone else regurgitate a whole shrimp, and I never want to, ever again.” You remembered that day, it was a rough, and embarrassing, night.
“It was so veiny and...shrimpy,” you nudged the smoothie away from you, earning some laughs from the audience.
“Okay Y/n, just answer the question and it’ll be fine,” he picked up the card, read it, and instantly burst into laughter.
“Oh no...”
“Y/n, you have been faced with dating rumors involving you and Timothée Chalamet for a very long time, and you have denied all of them,” you gulped as a pit formed in your stomach, “Lily-Rose and Timothée have concluded their relationship of maybe three weeks, so now that they are broken up, were you lying about your relationship with Timothée beforehand, and did it have anything to do with the break up of Lily and Timothée?” You sighed, maybe this question was easier than you thought.
“Wow, saving the longest one for last, huh? Well, Lily and I still talk and as far as I know, their break up was solely based on the fact that Lily was offered an exceptional job, and they just didn’t connect well, but really you should ask them about that, it’s barely my business,” you smiled, happy you were able to successfully answer the second half of the question, “and, as for the rumors: no, no I wasn’t lying. Every time I denied it, it was true.” 
“Was?” You gasped, not even realizing you’d made that mistake.
“Oh god, Y/n,” Zendaya sighed out through a laugh. She genuinely couldn’t believe you’d made it this far and then slipped up like that. You were asked a question about your past exes, only having a couple while in the public eye, and you still managed to curve it, so she had no idea how you possibly messed this one up.
“Oh shit,” you clapped your hand over your mouth after you realized what you said, and the audience up-roared into applause and gasps. Then, you remembered you cursed, and even though you cursed online, you weren’t supposed to curse on live television, and you were usually so good about it, “I am so sorry, I just cost the network money didn’t I?”
“Just a little bit,” this wouldn’t have been the first time a celebrity had cursed on his show, “don’t try to change the subject here,” his face was red from laughing.
“I’m not, I swear, I just don’t like being interrogated James,” you were laughing, but your heart was beating at a mile a minute. 
“So you and Timothée Chalamet are finally together?”
“Woah! Slow down James, I don’t remember saying that-”
“You didn’t deny it did you?”
“Wow, you should be a detective,” you giggled as you tried to figure out what to say here, “I...um...”
“You have such a way with words, Miss Valedictorian,” Z interrupted you and laughed, giving you a couple seconds to think. 
“I guess you could say...we’re...um...testing the...waters?” You were mortified. 
“Oh Y/n, come on, this is the most we’ve ever gotten out of this segment, you’ve gotta give me something here. I don’t even know what that means.” His face was red from laughing at this point.
“To be honest, I don’t either. I think I’ve already said wayyy too much. All I know is I don’t have to drink that disgusting cup of blended fish guts, and that is all that matters to me,” you sighed in comfort, even though your whole world was crashing down right in front of you, making the audience laugh.
“You got lucky with that one,” Zendaya was enjoying this too much. 
“You’re calling what just happened lucky?” The audience loved you laughing at yourself.
“And on that note, we are out of time for today. Zendaya and Y/n everyone!” The audience clapped and you quickly hugged James before getting off the stage as fast as you could. The second you made it back to the dressing room you plopped down on the couch and covered your face with your hands. Z was still laughing at you.
“How? How did you do that?” she was crying laughing at this point.
“It wasn’t that bad, right? Right?” 
“Y/n, it was hilarious, people are going to eat that shit up, Y/n”
“It’s all okay, Kelsey’s on the phone for you?” Kelly entered the room.
“Okay Kels, you’re on speaker. Give it to me straight, how bad?” 
“Bad? Oh Y/n, honey, people are in love with you and Timothée. Absolutely. In. Love.”
“Really?”
“There’s a video on twitter of you stuttering over your words and laughing and people are absolutely in love with it, over three million views already and it was just posted by someone a couple of minutes ago,” you could practically hear her beaming, “and then there’s another video of your eyes widening when James says Timothée, two million views. I already talked to Celine, she said Timothée’s going to release a statement on twitter tomorrow,” you sighed out of relief, “I told you Y/n: you’re loveable, Timothée’s loveable. No matter what you think, people want to see you two together. Now call him.”
“I will, thanks Kels,” you handed Kelly her phone back and picked up your own, dialing Timothée’s number in, he answered immediately, “Heyyyy Timmy,” you giggled into the phone.
“Hey Y/n/n, so much for time huh?”
“Yeah, so much for time.”
I thought this was adorable, and i am SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK. I think this is going to be the last chapter, unless you guys have suggestions for anything else I think this is a good conclusion. Seriously though, thank you all so much for the love on this, I can’t wait to write more, leave me some requests :)
Taglist: (THANK YOU ALL) @sspidermanss @fandom-food-fire​ @gigi-maria-argu @meaganl124 @danidomm​ @ewistel @booklover240​ @daygiowvibe​ @spiderdudetom​ @tom-hollond​ @ilsolee​ @iidontgiveafuckuniverse​ @plsdontfindthisblogpeople @antoouu​ @xahnah @ethevenly​ @doobdabdib @ahoyparkwr​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @bilesxbilinskixlahey​ @babybloomer​ @bluemoonsnail​ @kenny-0909​ @mysticalinsomniac​ 
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apples-r-rubbish · 4 years
Text
Institute (13th Doctor x reader) Part 5
Summary: You’re on the run, no doctor, no time.  Word Count: 2.4k AN: I’m going to be taking a lil break after the next chapter, just as I’m moving and I need time to adjust sorry -L x Warnings: none i think  Tags: @startrekkingaroundasgard @penguinwithitsarseonfire​
(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4) (PART 6) (PART 7) (PART 8) MASTERLIST
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Panic. Screaming. Wind. Noise. Fear. Tense breathing. More screaming. More panic.
“Hold on!” Graham shouted over the monstrous amount of noise. Ryan found a panel and somehow managed to fly the plane on his phone. You were too shaken to understand. O. The plane was finally level. The Master.  You were shaking. Nothing really sunk in. You blinked and you were helped off the plane by the worried trio. You snuck past the guards as Barton spoke to someone official looking. You were in Essex according to Ryan, and now that you were off the plane things had finally begun to fall into place within your mind. You were being stared at by everyone. 
“It’s hard not to stand out, when we look like this,” Ryan groaned frustrated at the suit
“We’ve just been on a night out and we’re going home, that’s all,” Yaz reassured a soothing voice trying to calm you all down. Your phone went off, as did the others. Cautiously you answered it. Barton. “Hello, friends. What, did you think I wouldn't be able to track you? We have your numbers, e-mails, GPS. I even know how many more stamps you need for a free coffee. So close, Ryan. Or should I say Logan? Look up.” You did as he said. On a screen above you all your faces were displayed, claiming you were dangerous. More cursing. “Your passports have been revoked, bank accounts frozen,” Barton continued “We have a record of everyone you know - friends, family, colleagues, everyone you ever followed on social media. Of course, we have cameras everywhere, and now you're wanted for hijacking. Go off the grid see how long you’ll last,” 
In a panic, Ryan smashed his phone, Yaz attempted to call her mum and Graham froze. “Oh and Yazmin is attempting to call her mum, how sweet,” He spat sarcastically. Yaz had rambled into the phone briefly for a second before Ryan grabbed the phone and stomped on it, he did the same with your phone and Graham’s. Then you ran. 
You had finally settled on a building estate, hours late. Bones aching, out of breath and tired.
“No CCTV we should be safe for now,” Graham said, clearly weary from the day. You filled into a half built house. You took a seat on a sort of wall as did the others
“How do we know we can trust you?” Ryan asked suddenly “We don’t know you. The Doctor trusted O, and he betrayed us, how do we know you won’t?”
“You don’t.” You replied shortly “I’m an outsider. You’ve seen me what? Twice before today? Three times because one of them hasn’t happened to me yet. You don’t know you can trust me. But you have to. If I wanted to turn on you, if I had malicious intent I would have ran off with the master, but I didn’t.”
“Who are you really? O said you were a missing person,” Yaz asked inner police woman jumping forward
“I am. Technically. I was recruited by people I know very little about to do a job, told me it was important so I took the role. Wiped me from my old life, gave me a new one,” “How come the Doctor didn’t recognise that person? Surely you would recognise someone like that?”
“Their species, they have a way of cheating death, burn up every cell in their body, change their face and who they are. The Doctor used to be a man, we have 12 other faces on file. The master also can do that, same species same thing,” 
“Who was he?”
“Well, do you remember Harold Saxon? That used to be him,”
“What- I voted for him!” Graham exclaimed
You examined the looks on their faces, “You want to know about my future don’t you, you want to put the pieces together, but she’s said you can’t tell me. One question won’t kill me,”
“You mentioned you were going to die on another planet? How would you know something like that?” Yaz wondered
“This, this interaction. Time isn’t linear. It’s more a big lump, as time travellers, we jump in and out at various points, things aren’t linear things can be changed and rewritten. Surely she told you that?”
“She doesn’t exactly tell us a lot. Who are you to her really?”
“I’m no one important, I think, I don’t know. I get pieces in passing. A bit like a conversation you aren’t a part of yet, just occasional whispers. Her late wife visited me once, and told me to keep track of everything. Keep journals and notes, telling me it would help make things easier, clearer. She was in a similar position, they met when she died and they kept meeting, bumping into each other, in the wrong order, fell in love, nearly destroyed the universe,”  You explained “The doctor trusts me and I trust the doctor. Good enough for me. Also we went on a date,”
“Since we’re admitting things, I stole some of the gadgets from MI6, I’m wearing the laser shoes. Before you ask, no I didn’t read the instructions,” Graham laughed
“I took the rocket cufflinks too,” Ryan smiled
“You utter doughnuts, all of you. But there’s no one I’d rather be on the run with,” Graham turned to you “Even you, you seem to know a lot and I trust you. You’re on the same wavelength as the Doctor and that’s good enough for me.”
“Did you hear that?” There was a noise, and light. Kasaavin. You stepped out the building one by one. 
“The shoe, use the shoe,” Ryan urged
“What?”
“Just stomp or something!” Graham did. A bolt hit a nearby streetlight.
“Your aim is terrible,”
“Graham, just dance.” He did and a few bolts hit the figures. You grabbed the others hands and ran.
The sun was coming up, you hadn’t slept for about 36 hours and whilst Yaz made a phone call, you and Ryan leant against each other in a desperate attempt to stay awake. She hung up suddenly as a car pulled up. Men stepped out, threatening you. Graham came up behind them and waved his laser shoe dramatically
“-and don’t make me do the soft-shoe shuffle!” He stated over dramatically, as you got into the car. You had decided to drive
“Are you sure you’re going to be safe? Driving, I mean, 36 hours is a lot-” Yaz began cautiously
“I’ll be fine. I once stayed a awake for a week on some planet so I could do my job, and the days were 25 hours, this is nothing,” You joked
“Can we go to the institute? Surely they’ll keep us safe?” 
“No, they won’t. Anything linked to present day criminal activity immediately gets you dropped. We deal with time, you so much as breathe wrong you’re dropped,” You explained, “We have to follow their GPS.” You sped off
The hanger was cold and empty. There was a single figure on a chair along with a stand and a screen, you rushed to it. 
“Is she still?” Ryan asked, not wanting to say the word. You checked for a pulse, she was cold. You shook your head, “No she isn’t. She hasn’t been for a while, a few hours, at most, I think.”  Barton appeared on the screen.
“Well done overpowering my people. But did you really think they wouldn't tell me? I have a significant announcement to make, and you, my friends, are two steps behind. As usual,” He mocked
“So what are you? Part alien or something?” Graham asked
“You really don't understand who I am. I build things. I test them. So I let them test a tiny part of me. And now it's time for the global roll-out. I'm proof of concept,”
“As the head of the Bad Wolf institute, I have to ask, what are you testing? Why don’t you stop with the theatrics and murder? Make my job the tiniest bit easier,” You asked, temper flaring
“Look after my mum.” The call ended. You went to hit the screen and decided against instead choosing to make a loud noise. 
“He killed his own mum,” Yaz breathed
“And abandoned her, in a hanger, to rot,” You stated, formal tone back. The screen came on once again, this time to an image of Barton giving a talk. 
“-We told you, of course your lives are private, of course your data's safe. And you believed us. You kept clicking Agree. And now, we can do anything. I can send a text to every device on this planet.”
“Something doesn’t make sense, I’m missing something, I’m being stupid. God why does lack of sleep does this,” You grumbled. A message flashed up on the screen. Humanity is over, you have three minutes to prepare. The statue started spinning. 
“Funny, right? Except, not a joke. We are way past peak human. We've created systems that are smarter and can run more efficiently than we do. So what's our purpose? We must be useful for something. Well, the data tells us we are. We can repurpose. Well, you all can. You know the most efficient type of hard drives on Planet Earth? Humans. Human DNA can store so much data. We're the perfect storage system, which means there are over seven billion potentially incredibly useful hard drives on this planet. All that's needed is to reformat the whole of humanity. Luckily, there's an app for that.” Barton chuckled, tone sinister.
The room was filled with light. The Kasaavin. The hangar door swung open. The master. 
“Move away. Now! I've just had the most infuriating seventy seven years of my life. Have you any idea how hard it is to live through the 20th century? The places I've escaped from. Still, just in time to watch you all pay.” He grumbled, he looked aggressive like a wolf ready to attack. 
“What is it? What the hell is that thing?” You asked, barely giving the others time to react
“Back with us I see? Aw shock was good look on you, shame the Doctor won’t get to see more of it,” He snarled “ If you must know, dear, it converts and transmits. We're transmitting Kasaavin energy around the world all at once into every device, hitting every human being and erasing all their DNA simultaneously. And it’s beautiful.” The energy grabbed Yaz, she couldn’t let go, you tried to pull her off, it wouldn’t move, she couldn’t budge.
“No use. It’ll take her, then you then you, and finally Miss Institute herself, a shame.” The machine stopped suddenly, the figures vanished.
“You were saying?” You replied smugly 
“Sorry. I’ll admit I was close,” The doctor. Relief washed over you. She entered the hangar followed by two other women.
“Two can play at embedding things in history. I knew the Silver Lady was important, and that you built it for a reason, but I couldn't work out why. So I traced its movements through history. And when I saw that Barton now owned it, we stopped by his office. Middle of last year, using your Tardis, I built a fail-safe into that machine. Planted a virus. If it ever detected the massing of a Kasaavin army within its systems - total shutdown,” She explained. The room glowed again, circling everyone. 
“Well Doctor, looks like you’re going to have to explain everything to them,”
“Look, I’ve rigged the Silver lady to send you back your own dimension. And that deal he made with you?” She pulled out her sonic and played a audio clip
‘Barton and these creatures do the dirty work, and once they're done, I get rid of them, having destroyed your precious human race in the process. Win-win-win.’
“Oh,” Was all the Master could manage to say
“Yes that’s your name, don’t wear it out,” She replied before the light increased. And with that the room was empty again, “Everyone alright? Everyone safe?” A chorus of yes sounded of from the group
“Miss me?” She asked a small but beautiful smile on her face, wrapping her arm around you
“Always,” You replied pressing a small kiss to her lip
“I hate to break up a sweet moment but I have questions. Who are they? And are we being replaced?” Graham asked
“Oh these are Noor and Ada, I’m dropping them off back in their timeline, like I could ever replace any of you.”
They were dropped off back in their respective times.
“So where to now?” The doctor asked, flipping a few switches
“The institute for me, I’m afraid,” You cringed, desperately wanting to stay
“What?” She suddenly looked up staring deep into your eyes, clearly hurt.
“I have to warm them, the Master is out there, and we have to prepare. We’ve barely managed to fix everything after the issues in 2015. I do want to stay, I truly do, but it’s hard and I have to look after them,” You avoided her eyes
“It’s ok I get it. Since we’re synced I can say this, whenever we meet up synced or not we have to go on a date, because we don’t know when it’s going to happen so we might as well enjoy it,” She wandered over to where you were stood
“Like time girlfriends?” “Time girlfriends,” She nodded. You kissed her cheek, and she smiled into it, hugging you tightly. 
“Miss you already,” You joked taking steps out of the TARDIS and back into your office the day that you left.
“Are you ok? You’ve been a bit distant recently,” Yaz asked, breaking the Doctor from her thoughts. It had been a few months, since they’d seen you as a group.
“I’m fine,” She replied shortly
“You miss her don’t you?” The doctor ignored the question continuing to focus on the random buttons she was fiddling with. “Look, why don’t you take us to visit your home?”
“Can’t. Shouldn’t. You’ll ask too many questions. It’s boring. Why do you think I ran?” She explained, her usual answers combining into one, “but yes I miss her,”
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thorne93 · 4 years
Text
Unforeseen Chasm (Part26)
Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.
Word Count:3140
Warnings: Language
Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.
Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm
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The following morning you couldn’t wait to talk to Shannon so you opened up the tablet, clicked the video chat app, and chose your only contact. For some people, one contact might seem lonely, but for you, that one contact was all you needed. 
She accepted the call and her stunning face lit up the window as you pulled your coffee close to your lips. 
“Morning, Y/N,” she greeted, pouring her own coffee, a tired look on her face. 
“Morning, hun.” You waved to her. “Any big plans for the day?” you wondered. 
“Kinda,” she answered after swallowing some coffee. 
You perked an eyebrow up. “Oh? I’m intrigued. What’s on the agenda?”
“Hoping to finish creating that surprise for you two,” she informed. 
You frowned at her, confused. “I thought the tablet was my surprise?” 
She smiled widely and giggled. “Nope, that’s for us to chat. But there’s this research I’ve been doing for a few months now but still no result. I feel like I’m missing something.” 
“What research?” you blurted out, not able to resist asking.
“It’s got to do with the genetic mutation in identical twins,” she informed. “Here. If you go to your office, you can project my notes and data from the camera that’s set up there. Just double tap the screen when you get there.”
You nodded and took your coffee and tablet to the office in the adjoining room, while she sent the files down to your cell. 
“Everything is there. I’m just having trouble identifying how it is that one of the two ends up with a mutation while the other doesn’t,” she commented, sounding frustrated. 
“Have you listened to Bach?” you asked, knowing that every time she listened to him, it jogged her mind. 
She stared at you through the tablet and deadpanned, “What do you think?” 
You laughed and held your hands up “Okay, okay. Fraternal or maternal twins? Raised in the same environment? What are Tony’s thoughts? Banner’s? They have a lot of experience with mutation… Did you call Charles?”
“Depends on the case. I have a few sets that are paternal and some there is a turn off, but they have the opposite effect with the mutations from each side. Tony doesn’t know. He is not really aware of what happened. Banner… he can help with just a small amount. The thing with the experience on mutation is that you know Bruce and becoming the Hulk but there’s not much you can get out of it because even his own studies have led to very little.” She began to read in her ledgers. “Speaking of, I’m actually I’m going to contact Charles later today. Hopefully he’s not that busy, and neither is Logan, and they can probably run some tests, figure out some stuff. Probably hit the ring to see what triggers some of my powers.”
Your face fell a little bit, remembering how you used to visit Charles with her. It made you miss him and all of the X-Men… “Oh, are your powers… bad? I mean.. Like, you haven’t consulted Charles in a long time,” you noted. 
She glanced over to the screen, noticing the change in your tone. 
“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. It’s not really any of my business if you powers aren’t going quite right,” you stated, laughing somewhat nervously, a pang of guilt hitting your gut. 
“Don’t worry, Y/N. It’s not that they’re bad. It’s just… they’re changing. I used to take people’s powers temporarily, but now, I can store them. And the shapeshifting and the flying. I’m rapidly mutating and I’m not sure what’s causing it…”
You nodded, listening to her, worried for her, and angry that you were locked in a cell with no way to help her. 
“Y/N… do you remember that one kid at the mansion who would feed off people's emotions and it became what he felt?” she asked, looking at you, hoping you remembered. 
Sadly, you didn’t, so you shook your head. “No, who was that?” 
“I can’t remember his name, but he had bumped into me one of those few times I went to train. And it seems I absorbed some of his powers and that what might be messing me up. It used to be very subtle, but now… now I can hardly get through an emotional event without it draining on me. Like when Steve had to carry me out,” she reminded. 
“You think it’s damaging you,” you said, summarizing for her. 
“I think it is,” she agreed. “If it’s emotionally strong, positive or negative, I just… The fight I had with Tony?”
“Yeah?” 
“I was so mad at what he was saying I hadn’t realized my weather powers had triggered and mixed with the laser beams I took from Cyclops and it mixed with your purple energy and things were thrown at Tony when I yelled at him. Thankfully one of his suits was there or I might have hurt him.”
You muttered, “I know what that’s like.” 
Shannon stopped what she was doing and put down her pen, giving you her full attention. “What do you mean you know what it’s like?” A moment later she added, “If you’re comfortable telling me, that is.”
“Ever since Thanos put this--” You showed your purple dark energy and then made it disappear “--inside me, it’s turned me into someone else… I was so angry all the time, at everything. It’s much better now, but I still get so much rage.” You looked up at the camera, facing her. “So I know what it’s like to not quite know what’s happening to your body… To have this… power… but it destroys you.” 
“It does. I’ve noticed I can’t keep up during training with Nat. Both of us being a part of the Red Room, we’ve kept to training like they taught us, but I’m just not as fast as I used to be.” She shrugged and looked a bit sullen. “It’s all still here,” she noted, pointing at her head with her pen. “It’s just that this is giving me trouble.” She closed her eyes, and then opened them, revealing  milky red eyes with purple swirls. 
“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you,” you commented. “To hold all those powers and finding out how to use them and keep them in check.”
“At least it hasn’t taken over… yet,” she remarked, staring down at her hands. 
“It won’t. You’re too strong for that,” you assured. 
Shannon smiled a small bit, glancing up to look at you through the screen, trying to find solace in your words. 
“I was hoping to see if I can get you out of there so that you can come with me to the mansion and we can both figure out what’s going on with our powers?” She sighed and reminded, “Of course, I’ll have to talk to Fury about it.” A groan escaped her just thinking about it, and you smiled slightly, remembering how much she did not like negotiating with the SHIELD director. 
Your face list up a million degrees. “You would really see about that?” 
“Of course. I want us to be able to get the help we need. We shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of these powers.”
“I’m sort of public enemy number one. Not sure the world is ready for me to be out…” A deep frown followed your statement that didn’t go unnoticed by your friend. 
She lifted an eyebrow. “Well… technically, the world doesn’t know it was you. You know Charles, he’d probably help get you to the mansion without being seen, just to help you.”
A sly smile played on your lips. “Are you suggesting Nightcrawler break me out?” you teased. 
Shannon couldn’t help but start laughing jovially at your comment. “He’d probably have a blast getting out of there! That kid loves scaring Tony.”
You were so overwhelmed with the prospect of getting out, even if it was just for a few hours, that you had almost forgot about your fellow cellmate. Saness colored your face and tone. “I don’t know if I should Leave Loki though… That doesn’t seem… fair that I should get a day pass…” You glanced back toward your bedroom, a guilty look on your face. 
Shannon understood where you were coming from, so she offered, “I mean, it’s only if you want to. Besides, it’s not like we’re going out to shop. It’s to help you progress and reinstate yourself to the world.”
You bit your lip, noticing the wording. Reinstate yourself to the world… Right.. Because you were in prison. 
“Not to make that sound like you’re a felon!” she loudly corrected, turning back to the screen with a look of embarrassment. 
You waved it off. It wasn’t her fault you were in the situation you were in. 
“Let me talk to Loki?” you requested with raised eyebrows. “But I would love to see everyone again, and figure out how to get… this side of me out.” 
“Of course! Take whatever time you need. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to contact Charles, so let me know whenever you’ve made a decision.”
“I will. Thank you, Shannon. In the meantime, do you have anything physics related I can study? I am going bonkers down here…” You paused for a moment, before asking, “Does Tony mind you talking to me? Or sharing data? I mean, he’s still pissed at me… right?” 
This time, it was her turn to wave you off. “Forget Tony, he’s my problem, not yours.” She looked at you and smiled. “I could get you whatever Jane’s left unfinished? There are a few new things she got here.” She pointed to a stack of files on the nearby desk. 
“Please, send me anything, otherwise this gold mine is going to rot,” you joked, pointing to your head. 
“Well we can’t have that now, can we?” She giggled before talking to JARVIS. “JARVIS, send whatever files are in our system from Jane’s recent studies down to Y/N’s office.”
“Right away, Ms. Shannon. Is there anything else?”
“Let me know when Fury will be coming by the Tower or the complex, please?” 
“Yes, Ms. Shannon.”
“The files should be ready for you to look through, now. I’ll make sure any new data gets sent to you too.” Meanwhile, she was nodding her head while looking at the holographic data in front of her, swiping it to and fro. 
“I’ll let you get back to your work,” you offered, trying to hide the sadness in your voice. But her work and research was more important than keeping a prisoner like you company. 
She hummed. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, sorry. I just have a deadline for this and--”
“Shan, it’s fine,” you assured genuinely with a soft smile. 
She seemed to be relieved by your words. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later, okay? Don’t forget to talk to Loki and let me know?”
“I’ll let you know by the end of the day.”
“Thanks. Talk to you soon.”
The call ended. 
But no part of you could even be sad, for this had been the best gift you’d gotten in some time. Other than being allowed to share a cell with Loki, this was the next best thing.
-----------------------------
Loki was still asleep during your conversation with Shannon, but when he woke up and you made him a nice brunch, you decided to dive right into the touchy subject of you getting a day pass, and not him. 
“Uh, Loki,” you started as he ate his meal. 
“Yes, darling?” he asked, glancing up to you. 
You wrung your hands, knowing how this sounded. That you would be leaving Loki behind, that you were gaining freedom and he wasn’t. That you were not, in fact, equals, as you had said you’d been. As you always tried to prove to him. 
“Shannon.. She has an idea…”
“Is it an idea to break out of this?” he asked, pointing around with his eyes. 
“Well… actually… kind of.” 
He peered at you with a curious frown. 
“I told her about my powers, about how the thing Thanos pout in me is dark and it wears on me…” 
“Yes?” 
“Well… she’s going to Charles Xavier to get her powers looked at. It seems she has a mutation that’s causing her issues… And she said she might be able to get me a pass to sort of… go with her,” you informed nervously. You were so worried Loki would simply see this as a way of you gaining freedom, while he stayed behind. Or that you were somehow distancing yourself from him. 
“So you would get to leave?” he clarified. 
“Yes. She’s going to talk to Fury, and see if it’s even possible. It’s more like a trip to the doctor. I’ll be going to see if he can do anything about the power not being so…”
“Evil?” 
Your gaze slid to his as you nodded.
“My love, if you need to go, go. It will be nice for at least one of us to leave this cell, even if it’s just for a day.”
“Really?” you asked, hope swelling inside you.
“Yes, of course. Go, do whatever you need. I’ll be here when you get back,” he said with a sly smile and you couldn’t help but round the kitchen island and hug him tightly. 
-----------------------
As Shannon closed down her work and research for the day, she stepped out of the lab, somewhat exhausted, but simultaneously refreshed. It was amazing how just talking to you had lifted her spirit so much. She had only made it a few steps when Tony came up and greeted her. 
“Hey, babe. Mind walking with me?’ he asked.
“Ugh, Tony, I’m so tired... I think I just want to go sit and read for a little bit,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t offend him. 
“That’s fine, I just thought we could have a quick bite together?” he wondered, his eyebrows perched up,wanting to guilt her in with his innocent, irresistible look. 
She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Alright, alright. Yeah, let’s go grab a bite. What did you have in mind?” she asked as he led her down the hall toward the kitchen and dining area. 
As soon as the two of them rounded the corner, she was greeted with the Avengers and some other colleagues from around the tower. The people she’d hidden herself away from for the last several days.
“Surprise!” the group yelled. 
“What’s all this?” she asked, befuddled, a warm grin on her face. 
“We noticed you looked a little down,” Clint noted. 
“And you just got back,” Bruce added. 
“So they thought it would be nice to have a little welcome home dinner. Nothing fancy, just… the tower isn’t the same without you, babe,” Tony said, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” she said with a humble, sweet smile. 
“Nonsense!” Steve objected as Tony let go of her and Steve’s arm replaced it. “You deserve it. We all missed you.” 
“Well, thank you, all of you. I missed you too.”
---------------------------
Sometime later that evening, you called Shannon on the video chat. The AI found her closest device and opened up, displaying where she was. 
“Hey, Sha--” Was all you got out before you saw what was going on around her. It appeared to be a small party. Shannon had a drink in her hand, as did all the Avengers and a few other people you didn’t recognize. She was laughing and hitting Nat’s arm, while Tony and Clint were smiling and talking. Bruce seemed to be having a good time with the strangers, talking. 
At first, you were happy, a smile pulling at your lips, but just as you were about to join in, you realized -- you couldn’t. You couldn’t open your mouth and tell a joke, you couldn’t say anything to anyone… Because you were locked away, several floors below them, paying for your crime. Even if you did try to blend in, even if you did try to get anyone’s attention, you would be met with a resounding “fuck off”. Who knew what kind of pandemonium would’ve erupted if they knew you were contacting them. 
With a sad sigh, you swiped over to the texting app and sent Shannon a text, telling her that you were good to go.
You switched back to the video app, where Shannon pulled out her phone, smiled at it, typed a quick response, and pocketed it again. 
“Sounds good. I’ll talk to Fury,” she sent back.
Your face fell and you were about to close the app when you noticed Steve Rogers was looking at you. It seemed he had just glanced up. Your eyes met but you didn’t have it in you to try and smile to be polite. Steve gazed at you, and if you weren’t mistaken, you saw… sympathy in his eyes, in his slight frown. He gave you a tiny nod, and you returned it before your gaze dropped. 
Unable to bear the sadness, and downright pity for yourself, you closed the video app. Steve looked away, feeling sorry for you, but tried to get back to the party. 
Sulking, you closed the tablet and left it on the coffee table to get up and go to bed. 
Loki peered up at you from his magazine, a worried frown etched into his stunning features. “Darling?” 
“Hmm?” you hummed.
“Is everything alright? I thought you were going to call Shannon?” 
You turned slowly to face him. “Uh, I did. She was busy so… I'll catch up with her tomorrow,” you said, hoping to hide your disappointment. 
“Are you sure? You seem upset,” he commented as he stood and came over to you, putting his hands on your arms. 
“I’m fine,” you lied. 
He peered down at you with peculiarity. “If you’re not fine, you know you can tell me. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll understand.”
You smiled up at him, loving that you could tell him anything. “Alright, that’s fair. I'm not fine, but I don’t feel like talking about it.” 
He smiled. “There we are.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know,” you assured before leaning up to kiss him earnestly, but quickly. “Thank you. I just want to go to bed for now. I’ll let you know if I feel like talking.”
“Goodnight, darling. I’ll be in shortly,” he promised with warmth. He let go of you and you nodded slightly before heading to bed and curling up in your bed. The bed you lived in for the last several months… the bed you would probably live the rest of your life in. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List: @essie1876​ @magpiegirl80​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @iamwarrenspeace​ @marvel-imagines-yes-please​ @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification​ @thejemersoninferno​ @rda1989​ @munlis​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @bubblyanarocks3​​ @igiveupicantthinkofausername​​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @feelmyroarrrr​​ @kaelingoat​ @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​ @damalseer​​ @heyitscam99​​ @yknott81​​ @sorryimacrapwriter​​ @glitterquadricorn​​ @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm​​ @alyssaj23​​ @sea040561​​ @princess76179​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ @sarahp879​​ @malfoysqueen14​​ @ellallheart​​ @breezy1415​​ @marvelmayo​​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton
@paintballkid711​
Loki: @lostinspace33​​ @ultrarebelheart​​ @lenawiinchester​​ @esoltis280​​ @tngrayson​​ @wangdeasang​​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​​
UC:
@lokis-high-priestess​
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Text
Unforseen Chasm (part 26)
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Part 26 of Unforseen Chasm
Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 3140 Warnings: Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.
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The following morning you couldn’t wait to talk to Shannon so you opened up the tablet, clicked the video chat app, and chose your only contact. For some people, one contact might seem lonely, but for you, that one contact was all you needed. 
She accepted the call and her stunning face lit up the window as you pulled your coffee close to your lips. 
“Morning, Y/N,” she greeted, pouring her own coffee, a tired look on her face. 
“Morning, hun.” You waved to her. “Any big plans for the day?” you wondered. 
“Kinda,” she answered after swallowing some coffee. 
You perked an eyebrow up. “Oh? I’m intrigued. What’s on the agenda?”
“Hoping to finish creating that surprise for you two,” she informed. 
You frowned at her, confused. “I thought the tablet was my surprise?” 
She smiled widely and giggled. “Nope, that’s for us to chat. But there’s this research I’ve been doing for a few months now but still no result. I feel like I’m missing something.” 
“What research?” you blurted out, not able to resist asking. 
“It’s got to do with the genetic mutation in identical twins,” she informed. “Here. If you go to your office, you can project my notes and data from the camera that’s set up there. Just double tap the screen when you get there.”
You nodded and took your coffee and tablet to the office in the adjoining room, while she sent the files down to your cell. 
“Everything is there. I’m just having trouble identifying how it is that one of the two ends up with a mutation while the other doesn’t,” she commented, sounding frustrated. 
“Have you listened to Bach?” you asked, knowing that every time she listened to him, it jogged her mind. 
She stared at you through the tablet and deadpanned, “What do you think?” 
You laughed and held your hands up “Okay, okay. Fraternal or maternal twins? Raised in the same environment? What are Tony’s thoughts? Banner’s? They have a lot of experience with mutation… Did you call Charles?”
“Depends on the case. I have a few sets that are paternal and some there is a turn off, but they have the opposite effect with the mutations from each side. Tony doesn’t know. He is not really aware of what happened. Banner… he can help with just a small amount. The thing with the experience on mutation is that you know Bruce and becoming the Hulk but there’s not much you can get out of it because even his own studies have led to very little.” She began to read in her ledgers. “Speaking of, I’m actually I’m going to contact Charles later today. Hopefully he’s not that busy, and neither is Logan, and they can probably run some tests, figure out some stuff. Probably hit the ring to see what triggers some of my powers.”
Your face fell a little bit, remembering how you used to visit Charles with her. It made you miss him and all of the X-Men… “Oh, are your powers… bad? I mean.. Like, you haven’t consulted Charles in a long time,” you noted. 
She glanced over to the screen, noticing the change in your tone. 
“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. It’s not really any of my business if you powers aren’t going quite right,” you stated, laughing somewhat nervously, a pang of guilt hitting your gut. 
“Don’t worry, Y/N. It’s not that they’re bad. It’s just… they’re changing. I used to take people’s powers temporarily, but now, I can store them. And the shapeshifting and the flying. I’m rapidly mutating and I’m not sure what’s causing it…”
You nodded, listening to her, worried for her, and angry that you were locked in a cell with no way to help her. 
“Y/N… do you remember that one kid at the mansion who would feed off people's emotions and it became what he felt?” she asked, looking at you, hoping you remembered. 
Sadly, you didn’t, so you shook your head. “No, who was that?” 
“I can’t remember his name, but he had bumped into me one of those few times I went to train. And it seems I absorbed some of his powers and that what might be messing me up. It used to be very subtle, but now… now I can hardly get through an emotional event without it draining on me. Like when Steve had to carry me out,” she reminded. 
“You think it’s damaging you,” you said, summarizing for her. 
“I think it is,” she agreed. “If it’s emotionally strong, positive or negative, I just… The fight I had with Tony?”
“Yeah?” 
“I was so mad at what he was saying I hadn’t realized my weather powers had triggered and mixed with the laser beams I took from Cyclops and it mixed with your purple energy and things were thrown at Tony when I yelled at him. Thankfully one of his suits was there or I might have hurt him.”
You muttered, “I know what that’s like.” 
Shannon stopped what she was doing and put down her pen, giving you her full attention. “What do you mean you know what it’s like?” A moment later she added, “If you’re comfortable telling me, that is.”
“Ever since Thanos put this--” You showed your purple dark energy and then made it disappear “--inside me, it’s turned me into someone else… I was so angry all the time, at everything. It’s much better now, but I still get so much rage.” You looked up at the camera, facing her. “So I know what it’s like to not quite know what’s happening to your body… To have this… power… but it destroys you.” 
“It does. I’ve noticed I can’t keep up during training with Nat. Both of us being a part of the Red Room, we’ve kept to training like they taught us, but I’m just not as fast as I used to be.” She shrugged and looked a bit sullen. “It’s all still here,” she noted, pointing at her head with her pen. “It’s just that this is giving me trouble.” She closed her eyes, and then opened them, revealing  milky red eyes with purple swirls. 
“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you,” you commented. “To hold all those powers and finding out how to use them and keep them in check.”
“At least it hasn’t taken over… yet,” she remarked, staring down at her hands. 
“It won’t. You’re too strong for that,” you assured. 
Shannon smiled a small bit, glancing up to look at you through the screen, trying to find solace in your words. 
“I was hoping to see if I can get you out of there so that you can come with me to the mansion and we can both figure out what’s going on with our powers?” She sighed and reminded, “Of course, I’ll have to talk to Fury about it.” A groan escaped her just thinking about it, and you smiled slightly, remembering how much she did not like negotiating with the SHIELD director. 
Your face list up a million degrees. “You would really see about that?” 
“Of course. I want us to be able to get the help we need. We shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of these powers.”
“I’m sort of public enemy number one. Not sure the world is ready for me to be out…” A deep frown followed your statement that didn’t go unnoticed by your friend. 
She lifted an eyebrow. “Well… technically, the world doesn’t know it was you. You know Charles, he’d probably help get you to the mansion without being seen, just to help you.”
A sly smile played on your lips. “Are you suggesting Nightcrawler break me out?” you teased. 
Shannon couldn’t help but start laughing jovially at your comment. “He’d probably have a blast getting out of there! That kid loves scaring Tony.”
You were so overwhelmed with the prospect of getting out, even if it was just for a few hours, that you had almost forgot about your fellow cellmate. Saness colored your face and tone. “I don’t know if I should Leave Loki though… That doesn’t seem… fair that I should get a day pass…” You glanced back toward your bedroom, a guilty look on your face. 
Shannon understood where you were coming from, so she offered, “I mean, it’s only if you want to. Besides, it’s not like we’re going out to shop. It’s to help you progress and reinstate yourself to the world.”
You bit your lip, noticing the wording. Reinstate yourself to the world… Right.. Because you were in prison. 
“Not to make that sound like you’re a felon!” she loudly corrected, turning back to the screen with a look of embarrassment. 
You waved it off. It wasn’t her fault you were in the situation you were in. 
“Let me talk to Loki?” you requested with raised eyebrows. “But I would love to see everyone again, and figure out how to get… this side of me out.” 
“Of course! Take whatever time you need. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to contact Charles, so let me know whenever you’ve made a decision.”
“I will. Thank you, Shannon. In the meantime, do you have anything physics related I can study? I am going bonkers down here…” You paused for a moment, before asking, “Does Tony mind you talking to me? Or sharing data? I mean, he’s still pissed at me… right?” 
This time, it was her turn to wave you off. “Forget Tony, he’s my problem, not yours.” She looked at you and smiled. “I could get you whatever Jane’s left unfinished? There are a few new things she got here.” She pointed to a stack of files on the nearby desk. 
“Please, send me anything, otherwise this gold mine is going to rot,” you joked, pointing to your head. 
“Well we can’t have that now, can we?” She giggled before talking to JARVIS. “JARVIS, send whatever files are in our system from Jane’s recent studies down to Y/N’s office.”
“Right away, Ms. Shannon. Is there anything else?”
“Let me know when Fury will be coming by the Tower or the complex, please?” 
“Yes, Ms. Shannon.”
“The files should be ready for you to look through, now. I’ll make sure any new data gets sent to you too.” Meanwhile, she was nodding her head while looking at the holographic data in front of her, swiping it to and fro. 
“I’ll let you get back to your work,” you offered, trying to hide the sadness in your voice. But her work and research was more important than keeping a prisoner like you company. 
She hummed. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, sorry. I just have a deadline for this and--”
“Shan, it’s fine,” you assured genuinely with a soft smile. 
She seemed to be relieved by your words. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later, okay? Don’t forget to talk to Loki and let me know?”
“I’ll let you know by the end of the day.”
“Thanks. Talk to you soon.”
The call ended. 
But no part of you could even be sad, for this had been the best gift you’d gotten in some time. Other than being allowed to share a cell with Loki, this was the next best thing.
-----------------------------
Loki was still asleep during your conversation with Shannon, but when he woke up and you made him a nice brunch, you decided to dive right into the touchy subject of you getting a day pass, and not him. 
“Uh, Loki,” you started as he ate his meal. 
“Yes, darling?” he asked, glancing up to you. 
You wrung your hands, knowing how this sounded. That you would be leaving Loki behind, that you were gaining freedom and he wasn’t. That you were not, in fact, equals, as you had said you’d been. As you always tried to prove to him. 
“Shannon.. She has an idea…”
“Is it an idea to break out of this?” he asked, pointing around with his eyes. 
“Well… actually… kind of.” 
He peered at you with a curious frown. 
“I told her about my powers, about how the thing Thanos pout in me is dark and it wears on me…” 
“Yes?” 
“Well… she’s going to Charles Xavier to get her powers looked at. It seems she has a mutation that’s causing her issues… And she said she might be able to get me a pass to sort of… go with her,” you informed nervously. You were so worried Loki would simply see this as a way of you gaining freedom, while he stayed behind. Or that you were somehow distancing yourself from him. 
“So you would get to leave?” he clarified. 
“Yes. She’s going to talk to Fury, and see if it’s even possible. It’s more like a trip to the doctor. I’ll be going to see if he can do anything about the power not being so…”
“Evil?” 
Your gaze slid to his as you nodded.
“My love, if you need to go, go. It will be nice for at least one of us to leave this cell, even if it’s just for a day.”
“Really?” you asked, hope swelling inside you.
“Yes, of course. Go, do whatever you need. I’ll be here when you get back,” he said with a sly smile and you couldn’t help but round the kitchen island and hug him tightly. 
-----------------------
As Shannon closed down her work and research for the day, she stepped out of the lab, somewhat exhausted, but simultaneously refreshed. It was amazing how just talking to you had lifted her spirit so much. She had only made it a few steps when Tony came up and greeted her. 
“Hey, babe. Mind walking with me?’ he asked.
“Ugh, Tony, I’m so tired... I think I just want to go sit and read for a little bit,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t offend him. 
“That’s fine, I just thought we could have a quick bite together?” he wondered, his eyebrows perched up,wanting to guilt her in with his innocent, irresistible look. 
She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Alright, alright. Yeah, let’s go grab a bite. What did you have in mind?” she asked as he led her down the hall toward the kitchen and dining area. 
As soon as the two of them rounded the corner, she was greeted with the Avengers and some other colleagues from around the tower. The people she’d hidden herself away from for the last several days.
“Surprise!” the group yelled. 
“What’s all this?” she asked, befuddled, a warm grin on her face. 
“We noticed you looked a little down,” Clint noted. 
“And you just got back,” Bruce added. 
“So they thought it would be nice to have a little welcome home dinner. Nothing fancy, just… the tower isn’t the same without you, babe,” Tony said, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” she said with a humble, sweet smile. 
“Nonsense!” Steve objected as Tony let go of her and Steve’s arm replaced it. “You deserve it. We all missed you.” 
“Well, thank you, all of you. I missed you too.”
---------------------------
Sometime later that evening, you called Shannon on the video chat. The AI found her closest device and opened up, displaying where she was. 
“Hey, Sha--” Was all you got out before you saw what was going on around her. It appeared to be a small party. Shannon had a drink in her hand, as did all the Avengers and a few other people you didn’t recognize. She was laughing and hitting Nat’s arm, while Tony and Clint were smiling and talking. Bruce seemed to be having a good time with the strangers, talking. 
At first, you were happy, a smile pulling at your lips, but just as you were about to join in, you realized -- you couldn’t. You couldn’t open your mouth and tell a joke, you couldn’t say anything to anyone… Because you were locked away, several floors below them, paying for your crime. Even if you did try to blend in, even if you did try to get anyone’s attention, you would be met with a resounding “fuck off”. Who knew what kind of pandemonium would’ve erupted if they knew you were contacting them. 
With a sad sigh, you swiped over to the texting app and sent Shannon a text, telling her that you were good to go.
You switched back to the video app, where Shannon pulled out her phone, smiled at it, typed a quick response, and pocketed it again. 
“Sounds good. I’ll talk to Fury,” she sent back.
Your face fell and you were about to close the app when you noticed Steve Rogers was looking at you. It seemed he had just glanced up. Your eyes met but you didn’t have it in you to try and smile to be polite. Steve gazed at you, and if you weren’t mistaken, you saw… sympathy in his eyes, in his slight frown. He gave you a tiny nod, and you returned it before your gaze dropped. 
Unable to bear the sadness, and downright pity for yourself, you closed the video app. Steve looked away, feeling sorry for you, but tried to get back to the party. 
Sulking, you closed the tablet and left it on the coffee table to get up and go to bed. 
Loki peered up at you from his magazine, a worried frown etched into his stunning features. “Darling?” 
“Hmm?” you hummed.
“Is everything alright? I thought you were going to call Shannon?” 
You turned slowly to face him. “Uh, I did. She was busy so… I'll catch up with her tomorrow,” you said, hoping to hide your disappointment. 
“Are you sure? You seem upset,” he commented as he stood and came over to you, putting his hands on your arms. 
“I’m fine,” you lied. 
He peered down at you with peculiarity. “If you’re not fine, you know you can tell me. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll understand.”
You smiled up at him, loving that you could tell him anything. “Alright, that’s fair. I'm not fine, but I don’t feel like talking about it.” 
He smiled. “There we are.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know,” you assured before leaning up to kiss him earnestly, but quickly. “Thank you. I just want to go to bed for now. I’ll let you know if I feel like talking.”
“Goodnight, darling. I’ll be in shortly,” he promised with warmth. He let go of you and you nodded slightly before heading to bed and curling up in your bed. The bed you lived in for the last several months… the bed you would probably live the rest of your life in. 
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       kim taehyung  ,  24  ,  he/him   ------   hey  ,  did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block  ?  oh  !  yes  !   the last time i saw him  ,  i heard he wanted to be called siwon  .  people around say they are so endearing  &&  inquisitive sometimes i wonder how they can be selfish  &&  duplicitous  .  (  popped bubblegum  ,  glowing under the sun  ,  purple-pink skylines  ,  patterned blouses   ) 
heyo  !  i’m deni  ,  she/her pronouns in the gmt+9 section of the world  .  i can’t keep an aesthetic and i use too many em dashes  .  below is one of the characters i’m bringing  ,  SIWON  ,  my favorite problem sunflowers  .  i have some info and verse-specific information beneath  ,  but i have a habit of updating  ,  adding and changing as i go  .  apologies in advance for how messy all tis is  .  looking forward to writing with you  <3  !
☀  𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 .
➤  full name.  siwon ryu ➤  date of birth.  january 29th ➤  hometown.  toronto  ,  canada ➤  gender.  cis male ➤  sexual attraction.  pansexual ➤  romantic attraction.  pansexual ➤  wants.  family  ,  power ➤  fears.  imprisonment  ,  humiliation
      universal facts.  hustles at arcade halls  ,  scarfs down burritos like they’re gonna disappear  ,  looks as comfortable in a dark  ,  dirty alley as he does standing under all those lights in the neon districts  .  pockets full of candy and a lollipop between his lips  .  likes cheap beer and cigarettes  ,  fast talking and smooth smiles  .  gets up when the sun goes down  .  who knows if he ever gets a full night’s sleep  ,  but you can find him taking a nap just about anywhere  .  seems to live for the dark hours and stays busy as a bee  ,  feels the rain on his skin  ,  plays with matches  .   spray paints boobs on the sides of government buildings and dicks on malls  .  can do crazy math in his head and spot fake bills with incredible accuracy  .  can barely stand to sit still  ,  always moving except when there’s a computer screen or an aquarium in front of him  .  gets addicted to things so easily it’s scary  —  people  ,  food  ,  liquor  ,  feelings  .  craves that intimacy  ,  craves that closeness  .  has a loud as fuck laugh and a love for sneaking into places where he doesn’t belong  .  catches extra cash on the side by fixing up broken-down machines and can figure his way around a motor with a bit of elbow grease  .  fucking loves nature dude  ---  takes care of plants and reptiles in his home  .  would die for snakes and lets them drape over him  ,  claims they give the best hugs  .  vegetarian  .  would be a vegan but too lazy  .
       personality.  loud  ,  noisy  .  could talk to a brick wall  .  holds himself with all the confidence of the sun and his smile burns just as bright  .  there’s this lazy intensity to everything he does  .  like  ,  pretends he super cares but also doesn’t  ?  or pretends he cares so much but in reality couldn’t give a shit  .  affable  ,  easy to get along with on a surface level  ,  and he’s curious enough to keep any conversation going with questions and enthusiastic energy  .  mood changes on a dime  ,  goes from grinning like a maniac to eerily calm in a snap of your fingers  .  intuitive and instinctive  ,  listens to and follows his gut  .  trusts the energy in the air more than anyone’s word  .  comes off as thoughtless but it actually very cautious  .  impulsive doesn’t mean brainless  .  sniffs out bad situation fast and decides on a dime if he needs to run or face it  .  go with the flow kind of attitude  .  doesn’t take things personally  .  nice  but trusting him’s an iffy situation  .  greedy  ---  wants everything and anything  .
       appearance.   stands around 5′11  .  broad shoulders  ,  slim hips  .  floppy  ,  messy hair and glowing skin  .  half legs and a lot of eyelashes  .  wears no less than five charms on a daily basis and keeps his tarot cards with him at all times  .  rings  ,  bracelets  ,  necklaces  ,  earrings  ,  crystals  ,  talismans .  wears a small lip ring and has several runes tattooed on his body  .  dresses anywhere between a washed up rockstar  ,  your college weed dealer  ,  and your grandpa in the ‘40s  .  his closet’s a chaotic mix of anything he could thrift or patch together  .  most of the time  ,  he’s sporting loose pants  ,  a vintage blouse  ,  a jacket or blazer and comfortable loafers  .  kind of swims in his clothing because most of its’ two or three sizes too big  .  only wears skinny jeans when he wants something  .  unironically wears cargo shorts in the summer  .  keeps all that hair back with a bandana or a headband  ,  hairties on his wrist  .  nothing in his closet’s technically new and he loves looking for a bargain steal ——or simply just a steal  .  sometimes he’s jimi hendrix and other times he’s versace  .    
☀  𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 .
  ⇀   kim taehyung  ,  24  ,  he/him   ------   hey  ,  did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block  ?  oh !  yes  ! the last time i saw him  ,  i heard he wanted to be called siwon  .  i hear they are a podcast host  ╱  “psychic”  .  people around town say they are so endearing  &&  generous sometimes i wonder how they can be selfish  &&  duplicitous  .  ( beaded curtains  ,  purple skies ,  tousled hair  )  
      about.   wrongly labeled a troublemaker after a little incident with some candles  ,  pentagrams and a slightly burned down warehouse  ,  siwon’s been on the road and seeing te road ever since  .  makes a few quick bucks tapping into that aura of his that somehow magically nudges his brain about who’s got what on their minds and what might happen to those what’s  ,  but no one really seems to believe him when he says it’s all real  .  starting a podcast straight outta the back of a busted-up RV  ,  siwon’s crossed the country and broke down in this little town  .  and  ,  so  . . .  maybe some stuff he was involved with in the past wasn’t totally legal butthat’sokayokayhedoesn’tdothatanymore  .  ANYWAY---  this town  .  figures he’ll call it home  .  it’s groovy enough  ,  he supposes  ,  and after a few attempts to get out of town that just failed  ,  siwon figures this is the universe telling him to settle down for a bit  .  so okay  .  his few listeners don’t mind  ,  siwon still does some readings and random lectures on whatever’s on his brain  .  for extra cash  ,  he does a few side gigs  ---  fixing up websites  ,  selling crystals and rocks he finds  ,  jobs around town that don’t require him to fork over any semi-serious documentation  .  takes scenic pictures for his instagram and documents the road-trip across this Great Wide Country he and his pets are seeing  .  let’s  . . .  let’s just see how this goes  . 
☀  𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 .
  ⇀   kim taehyung  ,  24  ,  he/him  ,   toxokinesis   ------   hey  ,  did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block  ?  or was it poison  ?  it’s hard to tell  ,  really  ,  all i saw was the commotion  ,  someone being saved  .  you know  ,  i heard siwon is an app developer  .  i also heard they are a saint  ,  really  ,  so affable  &&  generous  ,  none of that mercurial  &&  selfish  nature people talk about  .  (  blackened veins  ,  wild eyes  ,  living for the applause  )
       about.  after his parents volunteered him for  “ quirk ”  studies at a leading research institute  ,  siwon’s been semiworking for the man  .  but it’s fine  .  it’s fine  .  totally fine  .  spending most of his early life in a tank waiting to be let out  ,  siwon kept himself busy with plant pals  ,  reptiles  ,  and of course a computer screen  ---  everyone’s favorite parents  .  he’s developed websites and applications for the hero organization to help them locate and identify trouble around the city  ,  a bridge between 911 services and the heroes themselves  .  at twenty-two  ,  siwon created a popular app cataloging heroes and villains  ,  a place for fans to post their own pictures of fights and fallouts  ,  gossiping about which heroes were secretly in love and speculating about new faces behind the masks  ,  then a megapopular game where people could play as their favorite heroes or villains to save  (  or destroy  )  a city  .  as poison  ,  he wears no cape --- and in fact hasn’t even been seen since the site skyrocketed in popularity years ago  .  instead  ,  siwon helps in the development of weapons using his poison and sends little  ,  touching notes to baddies all over the world when he isn’t shuttling around on mercenary expeditions  .  he’ll ignore the mortal coil for now as long as they fly him first class  ...  he thinks  .  just hopes the organization doesn’t find his stash of supervillain fanfics  .  ikes  .
☀  𝟏𝟖𝟓𝟑 .
  ⇀   kim taehyung  ,  24  ,  he/him   ------   hey  ,  did i just see siwon ryu over there  ?  talk around town is that they are a witch  ,  but i don’t believe any of that  ,  no  .  they are just a con artist  ,  endearing  &&  generous  .  those are all just humors  .  like the people saying they were selfish  &&  duplicitous  .  (  frayed tarot cards  ,  three-piece suits  ,  sticky fingers and a smile  )
      about.  look who got himself invited into a magnate’s manor  :  a nobody who made a pretty penny from the opium trade ----- and who’s definitely not human  .  siwon’s bounced from city to city on his own  ,  brewing and selling antidotes to unfortunate come-downs from the drugs that’s rotting them all from the inside out  ,  but that’s only to sell more of that shit once the high’s gone  .  it’s enough to keep the rich happy enough  .  popular at parties  ,  he performs as a spiritualist and fortune teller  ,  snakes into conversations he shouldn’t be privy to and trades the information later  .  he’s a busy man  ,  what can he say  ?  for someone who wants to be free from all of this  ,  he enjoys parts of the lifestyle far too much  .  but maybe he should start making friends soon  .  attracting a lot of attention lately  ,  and with rumors of animals around  ,  even the “fake” witches like himself might find themselves in more trouble with the law  .  and now there’s the other trouble he’s found himself in  .  unfortunately caught swindling a vampire  ,  siwon was forced into dealing with a group of witches and their opium trade for protection  .  now his clients are their’s  .  his product and profits  ,  partly their’s  .   siwon’s in a whole other side of the criminal underground on the cusp of the victorian age  ---  and he doesn’t know what the fuck’s gonna happen  .
☀  𝟐𝟐𝟖𝟎 .
  ⇀   kim taehyung  ,  24  ,  he/him   ------  hey  ,  did i just see siwon ryu over there  ?  yes  ,  oh my  !  haven’t you heard  ?  it seems they have moved to level seven  .  makes sense  ,  considering they’re a techie  .  rumor has it they are so affable  &&  inquisitive but i know at heart they are just impulsive  &&  mercurial  .  (  busted old radios  ,  buzzing neons  ,  sticky situations  )   
      about.  tba  !
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henryandalex · 5 years
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hey anica, did you hear the news about harry getting the main role for a new show? please tell me i'm not the only one hoping shadowhunters can still be saved!!
Yeah, I did. And that shit... really hurt? Like, realistically speaking, I knew that this was coming sooner or later. It’s like I always said, as long as nobody said anything or none of the main cast has a new big role, everything is possible to save this show. But now I am...
The thing is, I’ve always been honest with you all here. And I would lie if I told you, hey listen this doesn’t mean anything and the show can still be saved. Technically, yes. Because after all, Harry is only doing a pilot yet. If that is going to be a series is yet to be decided. But lbr here, I believe we all know that this is going to be a series.
I know that people now argue that Harry has always been a workaholic and he can manage various projects at once. Yes. True. But how that should go when being on a show with app. 22 eps a 42 minutes plus two CRA sequels have to be seen. And I can already see people saying now that... but Kristen Bell. Yes. But that is different. She is a main on a comedy show which not only has not this much episodes but those are also only 22 minutes eps, plus the limited mini series of 8 eps. That is different!
Again, I am not saying that all hope is lost but... it’s difficult. 
Personally, what really hurt me is not the cancellation itself. Sure that shit hurt and I said it before I’ve been here before and I was probably naive to think that one day I will see the day when my fave show gets saved after all. But the way how everyone involved handled this cancellation. That’s what pissed and still pisses me off the most. From treating the whole fandom and cast/crew like garbage. Not talking. Holding 3b hostage for no reason. And all the other things that happened and where we still continued to fight. That’s what leaves me so... like fuck you all, you know?!
I think this whole mess could have been avoided with simply doing a 10-eps s4, wrap up book 6 in a nice way and part ways. Instead, we all know how shit went down.
And with Harry’s casting now... lbr, the chances are slim to non-existent. Because as I said, that show will most definitely receive an order. I still have hope that one of these dumbasses will pull their head out of their ass and save the show somehow. Preferable doing a Malec spin-off which is... like the cash cow of the show and nobody is cashing in on this which... tells you everything about this mess and all parties involved. lmao Because I don’t see a revival either here. Because, just say they will do a special 2 hours movie in like 10 years: Do you really think Harry will play Magnus when he is 47? Yeah...
At this point, I tried to kinda make my peace with it. Like I still hate Freeform with everything I have in me and I hope they rot in hell because thanks to them and holding 3b hostage, we are where we are now. And the irony that one Karey Burke was the one who cancelled the show in the first place, then went to ABC, and now snatched Harry for this new show is... yeah, how do you say it... I better leave it at this.
For now, I try to enjoy the remaining eps and especially my boys Magnus and Alec. Because I don’t let Freeform win here in destroying that for me, too. Am I bitter and sad? Sure. Am I scared to lose everything I love in this fandom and all. Yes. But I love these two and I can’t and won’t give them up. And I still hope that there is some justice in this world and that someone picks the show up and saves us from this mess and/or that Freeform will die and rot in hell in a few years. Hopefully both.
I think @amorverus mentioned something very important and reassuring today: If this is really it, at least we go out on a high note. We will see our boys happy and married. And that is, after all, way more important and nicer than to see this show going on for another 10 seasons where the writers have no clue what to do with Malec and we end up with cheating, divorces, and other messy plots for them. I believe nobody wants that. Especially when seeing how repetitive some storylines are already--and we are in season 3.
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myfriendpokey · 5 years
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50 Short Years!
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This January makes a full 5 years since releasing 50 Short Games!
I admit, it is weird to think about.
In general I don’t have very strong feelings about anything I’ve worked on, since anything like that has usually burnt itself out somewhere in the process of making the thing.
But it feels a little startling that this particular game came out 5 years ago, because in many ways I feel like I’m still working somewhere in it’s orbit – it still feels “close” to me in terms of, I guess, setting up the way I’ve been thinking about and working on these things ever since then. I still feel like I’m working out some of the stuff that came up in its production.. compare to older games which can feel like they were made by different, mercifully forgotten, people.
The game is temporarily discounted on itch down to just $1, until valentine’s day - good for friends, good for lovers.
When this first came out, I included a big note file of the processes and ideas and etc that went into it. I have posted that to my website for free to mark this little anniversary. But since a decent bit of time has passed since those impressions, and since I don’t feel like refreshing them, I thought it might be interesting to try writing up a sort of “afterlife” of this game, specifically the ways it sort of covertly turned out to influence what I did for the 5 years after it, as well.
Here are my notes seperated by theme.
- colour - mice - pacing - work / life - gameplay - theme - writing - distribution
- COLOUR: this is a strange one. 50SG felt like the first time I was really aware of / interested in trying to add “colour” as an element I could play with within my games, trying to add it to the lego set along with “rocks” and “little guys”. More colours, interesting colours, colour combinations, games which would be colourful as images. Because I’ve never actually been a very visual person (surprise surprise ha ha ha) and even when I draw, or sculpt, I tend to focus on lines and omit colour as much as possible... When I was a kid I disliked any kind of colouring or painting, as opposed to scribbling, but just before 50SG I’d been working on an uncompleted game with painted textures, and enjoyed it enough to want to explore the effects more.
The reason I call this a strange one is that, mostly - - I failed!!! I feel very aware now of how much of this game is just scratchy line drawings, how little colours are actually used once I'd worked out which ones I preferred working with from the set. I did try to change things up over the course of the series and some games (specifically the Mogey ones) tried to use flat colour or colour patterns more. But when I think about the game now the memories I mostly have are of essentially monochrome or mostly-monochrome drawings.
In fairness, some of this was technical too - I never had any kind of consistent way to light my pictures for when I was photographing them, and a lot of the time the bright markers came out muddy, which sort of discouraged me from trying to do anything specifically with colour effects. Strong lines are also a lot easier to chop up into discrete little game-shapes.
But I think this sense of missed opportunity - having this big bag of markers in all colours, all translucent lines, and not really using them - was specifically what made me spend the next few years trying to work with colour even more. Hence stuff like Mouse Corp, and certain entries in the Hardpack 11-in-1, and Magic Wand. I think I moved more towards pixel art again because it gave me a very quick way to play with colours, and swap them in and out, without having to worry about correctly photographing them first. And in fact my current game came about directly from trying to play more with ideas of translucent outline sprites on top of flat fields of colour – trying to combine colour with line in a looser way than just colouring stuff in.
I'd like to go back to playing with markers some time.
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- MICE: I think this was the first time I used mice in my games. Previously the emblematic animal was the Dog – Murder Dog, Goblet Grotto dog... The dog is a "LAWFUL" animal, one which can be aimlessly malevolent on behalf of some higher system or master. The dog stands in for the implicit malignity of the game system as a whole. 
Meanwhile, mouse is the "UNLAWFUL" animal - they live in spaces they do not construct, and scavenge from what they find within, they are constrained by those spaces but also have something of an independent life within them. By this time, I had been working on a lot of games where the gameworld itself was sort of an ominous presence - Crime Zone, Goblet Grotto, Drill Killer etc - and I think the move from "dog" to "mouse" came about as a way to think about these spaces as just kind of indeterminate and abandoned instead of actively malign. Places which don't really notice your being there, which were constructed and then left for some unknowable purpose. I cannot say if this shift in thinking is good or bad.
- PACING: I forget whether I mention it in the notes - but the prototype for all the marker games was an earlier one-off called "Gold's Enigma", done with crayons and in Klik N Play. And that game felt like sort of a revelation because it was so quick to just add new areas to it, or copy and paste elements around, or switch from one game control system or mode of representation to another.  So you could have an extremely short, quick game that still contained enough of a shift to make you feel like you’d gone somewhere or like the view from one side of the game was different to the view from the other. I don’t know how consistently or successfully this was ever really done (the end of Happy Bird is my personal favourite version) but it did stick in my head, as an ideal to work towards. And I think something like the more longform Magic Wand was still sort of driven by a desire to try a “fuller” take on this same idea.
- WORK / LIFE: I don't remember exactly but I think this was my first time successfully trying to start a new, slightly longform project while also having a day job. With other games either they were short enough for me to just blow through in a concentrated rush or else enough pieces had already been laid down (eg  Goblet Grotto) that I could just brainlessly slam together any remaining levels in the  mornings before I went to work. Making games as a hobby isn't necessarily hard but figuring out how to do it consistently over long periods took me a long adjustment period. For the short games I ended up doodling ideas at lunch, coming home, eating dinner, and then around 7 or 8 I'd start chopping up my image sheets and putting them into the game. And hope to finish by 11 so I wouldn't be too wiped the next day. These days it's more like 8-10pm. Working in the early mornings can be good if you're very determinedly getting through some pre-assigned tasks but can be harder and more frustrating if you're trying to be more exploratory about things. I guess to the extent I’d draw any lesson from this it’d be, set aside a very specific time period for working on stuff but also try to have a process where “working on stuff” can involve a certain level of constructive busywork just so you don’t come home and have to immediately face a blank page? “Placing stuff around on a screen” is ultimately what absorbs me so working in a way that let me do that as quickly and aimlessly as possible helped a lot. Well, that’s my opinion.
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- GAMEPLAY: I used the default 8-directional walk system in MMF2, and the default screen-follows-the-player function, so many times in the course of these games that I just burnt myself out on them entirely. They’re fine, but using them so many times over a brief period made me more and more conscious of them to the point where it could feel like I was just filling in the same template each time... I think part of why I shifted to Unity, even though it’s more of a hassle, is just to be able to escape that sense of a singular unchangeable “point of view”  and make things where moving or looking around would feel a bit looser and less set in stone. I hope this helps explain my gradual, doomed love affair with extremely idiosyncratic camera systems.
- THEME: Did any themes carry over to any of my post-50SG games? Maybe some but to me it’s less noticeable than seeing what was stripped out. Having a deadline and a very fixed scope did sort of push me more towards including “real world content” in whatever strange way – dreams, specific moments of the early morning or the night, events like work nights out, locations I knew... Compare that to the longer games I’ve done which all kind of take place in these dreamy, private fantasy dimensions. I enjoy that too, and it’s easier to do that when you’re making a game that’s just sort of endlessly adding to itself over time.. It’d be good to get back to working in a way which encouraged that material connection.
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- WRITING: I think the notes file that came with 50SG was the first time I did any real writing about the process of making these things, or ideas and notes, etc. And now I can’t shut up!! Well, I did a similar writeup document for Magic Wand, and hope to do so with my current game eventually as well. I think writing that, and having people be encouraging about it, did help me become more interested in looking at and recording the state of my brain as it’s slowly rotted into goop from exposure to these terrible machines. Which is in itself not a bad reason to keep doing it. 
- DISTRIBUTION: This was my first commercial game and probably the biggest impact of that was in getting me to move away from PC-only tools. I'd planned a mac version of this game at some point, or specifically to do HTML versions and then use a workaround I'd read about to convert HTML files to Mac and Linux apps... but the HTML conversion sometimes led to strange bugs, and I never had a testing computer to see whether the actual ports would work, and the multiple layers of things that could go wrong (making a html export, to be put into a mac or linux wrapper, to be loaded from a Unity scene...) eventually made me slowly give up on this. I think of getting back to it but to be honest I have such limited energy and for the five months a year I don't just want to hibernate I'd rather keep working on new projects.... I am sorry.... Well, this was a big impetus to try moving to pure Unity and HTML which had more multiplatform support from the get-go. I don't know if I took any other commercial lessons from it! It sold around 500 copies, and talking to other people making weird scrappy narrative type games it sounded like they mostly also sold 500 copies, maybe to the same people or maybe just to each other. At this level of economic activity you can just do what you like.
So in conclusion 50 Short Games is a land of contrasts. It feels distant to me, I don't have any strong feelings about it anymore, but I also feel sort of like I'm still moving around in the terrain this game originally sketched out for me, and still kind of responding to it in either positive or negative forms. Thank you to anyone who bought it. I just put it on sale again to mark the five year anniversary, you can find it on itch.io, gamejolt or kartridge. Please buy several hundred copies and salt them around through hidden disc drives buried in a desert somewhere so that some day they can inspire some form of apocalypse cult.
In the year 2525 if man is still alive if woman, still survives they will find.....
- stephen 2019
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typeaadventures · 7 years
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10 Question Tag
Tagged by @raiswanson
Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 10 questions of your own, tag 10 people
My Ten Questions:
1. How long ago did you make your oldest character (yes, that cringy one you don’t like to talk about)? If they still exist, how have they changed?
Technically, the first character I can remember writing was a little girl named Josie. She was the third youngest of like twelve siblings I think? Basically it was gonna be a story about the adventures of this absurdly large homeschooling family (based on the absurdly large homeschooling families I knew). That was the first time I can remember sitting down and saying “Okay, I’m going to write a whole story” and I remember asking my mom for some lined paper and her giving me a typewriter instead :) 
I never got passed the first chapter. 
2. How long have you been writing?
Since I was eleven at the very least. I’m basing it on when I started writing the above nonsense, although I can remember being a part of “story clubs” with my friends at like age seven and eight. 
3. Do you have a character type that always works its way into your writing? What are they like?
Yes. Actually I have two. There is USUALLY one headstrong girl who is erudite but reckless in that she doesn’t usually see the consequences of her actions until they’re too late and lacks a certain amount of emotional maturity (DEFINITELY not a self-insert, no, not at all). 
And then usually she has a male sidekick who is eternally frustrated at her denseness and constantly freaking out about her safety and is generally hilarious. They are almost always platonically in love. 
4. What about themes? Is there always that one theme that crops up all the time in your work?
Justice. What actions we should be taking on behalf of those who are being abused by the powers that be. Often this translates directly into some kind of twisted family structure, but it is ALWAYS about standing up for and giving a voice to those who otherwise are silenced. 
5. Long or short chapters? Or varied throughout?
At the moment, my chapters tend to be shorter, typically between about 3,000 and 6,000 words. A few of them have gone on much, much longer (I think there’s like a 10,000 word jaunt with a witch on a moor who was NEVER supposed to be in the story in the first place. Most of those words are her bawdy drinking songs. 
6. Stand-alone novel or long-running series? (assume quality of long running series does not diminish over time)
Often, I have running series of shorts stories, but my novels tend to be stand-alone. Do I have ideas for sequels? Hell yes, but I kind of need to finish the first ones first, you know?
7. How do you record your notes/ideas? Sticky note? App on your phone? Write it right into the writing document? A little bit of each?
Oh my gosh, my notes are so disorganized. Sometimes I’ll throw them in [square brackets] within the story. I have a bunch of sticky notes on my desktop of quotes and lines that got cut that I want to keep around. I have several google docs of notes on stories that I’m not supposed to be writing yet on my phone. . . the list goes on and on. 
8. Which of your characters will you defend to your grave no matter what they do? (If N/A, which would you turn over to the authorities in a heartbeat?)
Well, Earnest can go rot in a pit for being an abusive asshole. 
I’m so torn, because I want to say I’d defend most of my heroines, but then I realize I’m single-handedly responsible for all the terrible things that have happened to them and those they love, so. . . conflicted and guilty on that note. 
9. Who do you typically share your work with? Friends? Family? Strangers on the internet? Do you accost passerby on the street?
My baby sister gets a running commentary on any and all of my projects. She’s the only one who got to read my super cringy fanfiction when we were little,and has proven herself to be totes non-judgemental. 
Otherwise it’s usually friends. I know a married couple who are both writers as well, and we often spend long car-rides or phone calls mutually helping one another mash out menial plot details. It’s really useful because the three of use write drastically different genres, so we can often look at each other’s problems from new perspectives. 
@notmargaretchan is also a gem for reading my horrible first draft of Ghost and Spectre and giving A+ feedback. 
10. What are your favorite story settings to write/read about? Ancient Egypt? Secluded mountains? The ocean? The seaside? The streets of Victorian London? Feudal Japan?
I gotta admit, I’m pretty much a steampunk/fantasy setting person. Urban fantasy has been sneaking it’s way into my preferences lately, and after reading both The Blue Sword and Frank Herbert’s Dune, I’m slowly becoming obsessed with desserts, but there will always be swords and dragons. 
I feel like at this point, MOST people I know have already been tagged in this (because it took my 10,000 years to reply) but what the hey. I’ll throw out ten questions and if one or two of them strike your fancy, maybe just reply or reblog with the question of your choice :)
My Ten Questions
1. What is a character/trope that everyone loves but you detest?
2. What kind of media are you most inspired by? Other books? TV Shows? Movies? 
3. What book(s) would you go back and unread if you could (and why)? 
4. Do you have any characters floating in your head without a story attached to them? What are they like? What do you think they’ll end up doing?
5. Do you have any projects you’ve abandoned that you’d like to go back and finish one day? Did you give it up because of time or because you felt you weren’t ready to write it?
6. What is objectively the best writing snack of all time? 
7. What is one thing that never fails to inspire you? Going for a walk? A particular song or artist? Baking? 
8. What is a genre you don’t think you’ll EVER write in? Why not?
9. Which OC is most like you? 
10. What is the worst writing advice you’ve ever been given? 
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illyriantremors · 7 years
Text
Beneath the Stars Chapter 2
Chapter I
AO3 Linkage
Summary: The start of Feyre's senior year brings with it a lot of unexpected stress as she prepares for the reality of college applications and finds out a startling revelation from her dad.
Chapter 2
The last bell of the school day chirped sharply in my ear. It was a little unsettling to have to skip my first session of AP Studio Art for a mandated senior assembly, but I kept reminding myself I’d get it back on Friday and that wasn’t so long to wait.
With a graduating senior class just over a grand, the school administration couldn’t fit us all into one space to discuss our impending college admissions. Hell, I didn’t know how they were even going to fit us all into the football stadium for graduation. Rehearsals alone were a nightmare I wasn’t looking forward to.
Thank goodness June was still several months away.
So to rectify the situation and still bore us to tears with endless chatter and a twenty-five page packet I was not prepared for, our principal assigned each senior a period of class over the first week of school to skip so that smaller groups could convene and go over the college application process.
It was exactly as boring as it sounded.
And also terrifying.
“They really expect us to do all of this?”
I whispered to Tamlin as my fingers flicked through the pages of our University Admittance: A Prythian High School Guide. On the podium, senior class counselors took turns shouting into the mic going over the pages in excruciating detail.
“Aw, come on, Fey - it’s not so bad.”
I glanced over the four pages weighing the pros and cons of the SAT versus the ACT alone and rolled my eyes. Tamlin had already taken both and received the equivalent of an O Level Owl in each.
“I’ll help you study - if you’re nervous about it,” Tamlin said, noting how I hadn’t left the state testing page yet as our counselor moved on to essay writing. Apparently, we’d need to meet with our English teachers for at least two sessions to go over our essays.
“I’m not nervous,” I said. “This just seems like a chore.”
“It’s only a chore because you spend more time fiddling with art brushes than you do actual homework, Feyre.”
I turned to my left and shot Lucien an irritated stare. “I’m not completely daft, I’ll have you know!” Though I was still whispering, my voice definitely carried the undertone of a shout. “I may not have as high a reading level as you do, but I’m in Calculus.”
Lucien snorted.
“Bravo, Feyre. Calc - A true accomplishment.”
“Whatever, Lukey. This just seems like a lot of work, but I’ll be sure to congratulate you when you get accepted into every Ivy League you apply for.”
“You better.”
Lucien and I exchanged angry smirks and Tamlin hissed, “I’m so proud of you two. It only took you a year to still not get along with each other.”
“You can blame Tam, for that,” Lucien said and I was surprised to hear a little genuine fire behind it. “He has a habit of creating dysfunctional relationships wherever he goes.”
On my right, Tamlin finally looked up from his packet and glared at Lucien.
“Am I missing something…?”
“Application fees!”
My head shot up. On the Powerpoint presentation up on the auditorium screen in front of us, the very same two words our counselor had just said loomed large in big, bold red letters - like they knew this was going to be the worst part and had sent a pre-emptive red flag to warn us.
My hands sped through the packet to find the corresponding page. Cringing in on itself, my body sunk lower into my seat.
The average application fee was ballparked at $65-70 per school and that was just to apply! There was no guarantee you’d even get into the school and assuming you did, you couldn’t attend more than one school. No matter how you looked at it, there was a lot of money adding up in this packet preparing to be wasted.
And rates went up for applications to out of state schools. It was like one massive joke: apply elsewhere and go bankrupt, or stay local and rot in the hellhole you’ve always hated.
Not that California was always that bad. I actually quite enjoyed the wicked heat the southern landscape brought in. And nothing could quite beat having Disneyland and the beaches within easy driving distance no matter how far inland or north you might live.
But my parents - dad, I mentally corrected, since mom hadn’t called once since walking out on us three months ago - could hardly afford groceries. Sixty, seventy, eighty bucks a pop suddenly felt like a choice between my future and hamburger helper for a week.
I thought of other states - upstate New York, Pennsylvania, North Carolina - all places with reputable universities, but still far enough away that I could maybe feel more relaxed. My reveries of open skies and fields so far outside the major cities you could actually see the stars was interrupted by Lucien’s quiet notice of my head sinking into my lap as I shrank into the seat.
“You okay, Feyre?”
My eyes flew open. I hadn’t even realized I’d closed them. “Yep, dandy as a lion.”
“That makes no sense.”
“It’s like dandelions, Lukey. Get it? Because they’re dandy.”
“And you two are five-year-olds,” Tamlin said. “Now shut the hell up, I’m trying to concentrate.”
I glanced down at Tamlin’s lap, but instead of our college guide, he was rifling through interview notes. I grimaced.
Newspaper.
Tamlin’s obsession.
“Not this already?” I whined. “It’s barely even the first day of school, Tamlin. You promised not to get so obsessed this year.” The look I gave him when he looked up to argue said enough.
“I’m not obsessing,” and he added air quotes around the word. “Ianthe got senior editor this year, but Mr. Hybern is letting her pick her co-editors. There are only two spots and five of us are fighting for them. If I want to be able to add Senior Co-Editor of the Prythian High Monthly to my college apps, I have to be vigilant.”
I didn’t reply and it forced Tamlin to stop reading his notes. He knew how worked up I got over this. We’d fought about it on and off all summer after his obsessive habits with Newspaper staff all junior year.
“Look,” he said, taking my hand. “This is important to me. Don’t you want me to do well? The better my college applications look, the more places I can get in and the more options we’ll have together to find universities close together.”
“Close together? Why not the same university?”
“The odds we’ll get into the same exact schools are slim. You said it yourself, you’re only really looking at art schools.”
I couldn’t fault him there. I was only really looking at art schools.
“Cheer up, Feyre,” Lucien said, stuffing his packet into his backpack and standing up at the precise moment the bell rang to let us out. “If Tamlin’s busy with Ianthe, that just means you get to spend more time with my lovely self.”
“Oh goody,” I said mustering up as much sarcasm as I could find. “You can take me horseback riding through the Hollywood Hills on the weekend. Or - ooh, I know! We can hunt Dementors in the Forbidden Forest. Won’t that be fun!”
“My ideal Friday night.”
“Let’s go home,” Tamlin concluded, but home was really the last place I wanted to be.
I was more than surprised when I pulled into the driveway and found my sister Elain’s car parked. I spotted a bright yellow sunflower sitting next to the steering wheel of her bright blue VW Bug and shook my head.
Because of course Elain’s car would have flowers.
My driveway was nowhere near as long as Lucien’s, but it was still a good trek from the car to the front door and as I stepped inside the over-large mansion I’d grown up in, I was met with yet another surprise.
“Feyre!” my sister said with her usual pep amid a mountain of boxes. “Thank goodness you’re home. I’m so lost with what to do with all these boxes.”
She stood up and scratched her scalp between the delicate gold bands of the headband she’d wrapped around her blonde locks.
It was odd seeing her home. When mom left, it hadn’t taken long for Nesta and Elain to take off for school. Summer sessions weren’t unusual for them especially now that they TA-ed for their professors to earn extra cash towards their PhDs, but the university they attended in LA was close enough that they generally tried to stay home over summer and put up with the commute.
Just not this summer apparently.
I watched her looking around at all the boxes, huffing a big sigh and couldn’t help but be amused by her cluelessness. For being a scientific smartie, Elain could sure be thick about other things. “Well for starters, you might want to go change into some jeans or something. I’m not sure a maxi dress is optimal for this kind of challenge.”
I set my backpack down on a nearby chair and went over to pick up one of her boxes. “What is all of this anyway? You and Nesta finally get sick of University housing and decide to move in together officially?”
Elain gave me a blank doe-eyed stare.
“You know, I’m sure dad is cool with you two keeping your stuff here even if you don’t technically live here all the time anymore. You could probably move to Tennessee and he’d still keep your rooms exactly as they are.”
A nervous chuckle threatened in my throat and promptly died when Elain said tentatively, “Feyre… didn’t dad talk to you?”
I set the box down. “Talk to me about what?”
“Um, he’s in the study. And on second thought, I think I’ve got this,” and she pointed at all the boxes in a gesture that hinged just a little bit on frenzied, “covered.” Then she bit her lip - the telltale sign of an Elain fib. Classic.
“Elain?”
“Just go talk to dad, alright?” Her chest decompressed. “Don’t make me be the one to tell you.”
Dad was, in fact, in the study and surprise surprise, there were more boxes stacked about. I wondered how long they’d been there and I simply hadn’t noticed from lack of venturing into this part of the house.
Dad was sitting as his desk when I silently breezed up to lean on the door frame. His head was resting in his hand, his arm propped up on the chair.
Gently, I rapped my knuckles along the wall. He blinked up.
“Care to tell me what this is all about?”
“Oh hell,” dad said with a groan, shuffling to get up out of his seat.
“No - sit, sit,” I encouraged, waving him off. “You’ll hurt your knee again if you fuss too much and besides, I get it.”
“You do?”
I moved to sit on the edge of his desk, my legs kicking back and forth until my heels hit the wooden sides. “When were you going to tell me you lost the house?”
“Oh Feyre,” he said and it was as if I could feel all the air rush out of him like it was my body caving in. A part of me had felt not entirely different in that auditorium at school.
“Do Nesta and Elain know?”
“Yes, but only that we’re moving. They think we’re just downsizing.”
“More important question - does mom know?”
His lips tightened into a thin line, my answer. I nodded.
“You’ll have to tell her sometime. She can’t stay away forever whether she wants to or not. You two are still legally married and no one has filed for any kind of divorce or separation - that I’m aware of,” I added when he shot me a look.
“No one’s filed,” he said. “Don’t give me that worry wart look of yours. I’m tired of seeing it.”
“That’s because I’m the only one who ever gives you the worry wart look. Nesta and Elain, on the other hand-”
“Have different ways of coping than you do. Why do you think I told them so far in advance and not you?”
Genuinely curious and not sure of what he would say, I asked, “Why?”
“Because I knew you could take it. Look at you.” He shrugged at me sitting nonchalantly on his desk and I could see his reasoning. We were losing the house and I hadn’t so much as flinched. Meanwhile, Elain sat in the entryway twiddling her thumbs over cardboard boxes and packing peanuts.
I didn’t want to know where Nesta was.
Did that make me a strong person? Or a really callous one?
“So when are we moving? No wait - better question, part two: where are we moving?”
“Not far. It’s only a twenty minute drive, but the neighborhood is decidedly less… affluent than our current community.”
I snorted. As if that mattered. “Big deal. I’ll get a job. We’ll make it work. I’m sure between you, me, and Mary-Kate and Ashley out there, we can come up with enough to get by.”
“Feyre…” Mercifully, he said my name as a chuckle, but I could see the truth lingering in his eyes. Elain and Nesta were dedicated to themselves, which meant their money was too. But who was I to tell my dad who had a tendency to drink when the cards went down in the wrong direction otherwise.
I’d never had a job before - not a real one. Occasionally, I would babysit for neighbors and with the kind of homes I lived next to, those gigs paid big for a teenager looking to see every new movie known to man over summer. Beyond that, however, nothing.
But while Lucien might have been right about my English grades, I was tough and a quick learner. And I would be 18 in December - no longer so fresh to barely be considered for a job. Surely, I could find something.
“Thank you, Feyre,” dad said, taking my hand and giving it a gratifying squeeze. There was just still that tiny lingering sense of something else that made me pause.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
I shook my head. “You have the same look you always get the morning after you and mom have a fight and you drink too much. I know your secrets, old man. Spill.”
“The move is this weekend.”
“WHAT.”
Cue the onslaught of outraged emojis on my phone.
I jumped off the desk and began pacing. College applications? A new job? Moving - this weekend. And there was still the tiny fact that my mother had left us without a word and never looked back to contend with.
Mindlessly, I scratched the skin along the crook of my arm until the itch went away.
“You really kept this from me a lot longer than I thought.”
“But you handled it like a champ.”
“I better get packing,” I said and found myself out the door before dad could really say anything more. Elain was no longer in the entryway when I stepped outside and I managed to avoid her on my way to my room. I noticed a stack of boxes and packing tape had been conveniently left in one corner of my relatively plain living space.
I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Tamlin.
Are you busy right now?
A few minutes went by before the subtle ping! alerted me to his reply.
Sort of, why?
As the fates would have it they’ve chosen this weekend for my family to make an impromptu move.
You’re shitting me, right? You’re actually moving?
Knowing Tamlin’s house was just as large and important as Lucien’s and that he counted appearances as having some kind of value to every Dean of Admissions in America, I sent the next text with a heavy heart.
Yeah dad sort of lost the house
Damn.
Yeah that’s what I thought but we’ll make it work. Could you help us with it though? I know its only a few days away but with Nesta around and this huge house to box up I know dad and I would appresiate the extra help.
Yeah, totally! Anything for you, Fey.
Thanks :)
Love you.
Love you too xx
I let my phone hit the floor as I fell on my bed with a huge sigh.
I could do this.
xx
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