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cleolinda · 7 months

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The Scariest Movie I Ever Saw in a Theater: The Ring

I'll tell you up front that the story I'm going to tell you is about "The Ring (2002)," in the sense that it is about The Ring in the year 2002.

See, I don't know what The Scariest Movie Ever is. A quick google says that the consensus is The Exorcist (I haven't seen it, because I never felt like scheduling a day to freak myself the entire fuck out). But horror is specific, and not just to a person, but to a time and place, even. When I saw The Shining as a teenager in a well-lit living room with other people, I didn't even really flinch, but I bet it would play very differently to me now. I don’t think The Ring is at the top of anyone’s list, but twenty years ago, I had a personal interest in it—at the time, I was running a dinky little Geocities site devoted to movie news. Links curated and compiled from all the other, bigger sites I followed—basically, it was the linkspam format I have used on multiple platforms, including here on Sundays. And so, as someone who followed theatrical releases pretty closely for two or three years, I saw the trailer for The Ring, and I immediately knew it was going to be huge.

To locate you in time, this was just after three self-satirizing Scream movies and the Overcomplicated Serial Killer films of the '90s. The Ring was something completely different: chill aqua-blue color grading a good 5-6 years before Twilight; a mournful Hans Zimmer score; no jokes, no quips; and a slow, inexorable sense of doom. Grief, even, given that the movie begins with the death of the main character's niece. What immediately struck me about the first trailer was 1) the melancholy of it, and 2) how much it doesn't explain. Onscreen, you get the title cards,

THERE IS A VIDEOTAPE IF YOU WATCH IT SEVEN DAYS LATER YOU DIE

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Concise! Understandable! A woman (Naomi Watts) is freaking out upon discovering that her young son has just watched it! Admirable job setting up the premise and the stakes of this entire movie in thirty seconds flat, without even any dialogue. That's all you need to know, and thus, the remaining minute of the trailer can do whatever it wants, and what it wants to do is be fucking weird. Echoing voices, TV static, a closeup of a horse's eye, ladders, a girl with dark hair, people reacting to things we don't see, drippy doorknobs, rain. Characters don't give us the whole plot in convenient soundbites of dialogue (like they do in a later trailer); we just hear lines, overlapping, murmured out of context—

did you see it in your head? she talks to you... leading you somewhere... showing you the horses... you saw it. did you see it in your head? she shows me things. Everyone suffers.

That you saw it has lived in my head ever since, and not once have I charged it rent. But the "best" part is Naomi Watts screaming at the end, because you don't hear her voice; you only hear this heartless telephonic beeeeeeep. It's 2002 and I'm watching this trailer, thinking, I have no idea what the fuck I just saw. This is going to be huge.

And it was, to the tune of $249 million on a $48M budget.

At risk of recapping what you might already know, Ringu, aka Ring, is a media franchise that spiraled out from a trio of Koji Suzuki novels into Hideo Nakata's film Ringu (1998), a landmark of Japanese horror, plus several other movies, some TV series, many comics, and even a couple of video games. The overarching story is about a murdered girl/vengeful ghost named Sadako Yamamura whose rage and pain have created a cursed video tape, you watch it and you die unless you pass the tape around like a virus, seven daaaaays, etc.

The "ring" in question is the rim of a well. Keep that well in mind.

The movie I saw is the U.S. remake, which itself had two sequels. (The iconic Sadako is now named Samara Morgan. Keep her in mind, too.) Director Gore Verbinski moved from The Ring to Pirates of the the Caribbean (!), and so Hideo Nakata himself would direct The Ring Two. I... honestly have only seen the first one. And I was right, it was huge, and it kicked off the American J-Horror Remake genre, for better or worse. But what gets forgotten about The Ring is its marketing campaign, which I followed pretty closely for my doofy little news site.

It was inspired.

The story of The Ring is partly the story of the sea change in the media landscape—how we watch movies. And the story of its marketing is a picture of the very last years before social media changed the wilderness of the internet into something that feels so big, like a billion people could see anything we say, and yet so small—only a tame handful of places to say it, owned by three or four companies, and corraled by algorithms.

Back around 1997-1998 or so, I worked at a video store (Movie Gallery, where the hits were there then, guaranteed) for about a year and a half. By the time I left, we had started adding DVDs to the VHS tapes on the shelves, but we hadn't replaced the entire stock. Video stores might have transitioned fully to DVD by 2002, I'm not sure, but people still commonly had both VCRs and DVD players in their homes. And I remember that The Ring was sold in both formats when it eventually hit home video. Which is to say—you know the analog horror genre today? Marble Hornets, Local 58, The Mandela Catalogue?

Analog horror is commonly characterized by low-fidelity graphics, cryptic messages, and visual styles reminiscent of late 20th-century television and analog recordings. This is done to match the setting, as analog horror works are typically set between the 1960s and 1990s. The name "analog horror" comes from the genre's aesthetic incorporation of elements related to analog electronics, such as analog television and VHS, the latter being an analog method of recording video.

Okay, but this is just what home media was like, and 2002 was at the very tail end of that—boxy black VHS tapes that degraded with time and reuse were just how we lived. At the same time, I'd been using CDs for music since about 1991, and all our software installs came on CD-ROM discs; a "mixtape" by that time had shifted to mean a rewriteable CD rather than a cassette tape. In college, I—well, I'll plead the Fifth as to whether I downloaded mp3s via Napster, but I was also taping Mystery Science Theater 3000 on VHS over the weekends. It was Every Format Everywhere, All At Once, and we kept half a dozen kinds of players around for them. Here in 2023, we stream and download everything invisibly, unless we choose to engage in format nostalgia. (I've already run into the problem of Apple Music deleting songs I really liked, due to this or that licensing issue, because I was really only renting them.) The year The Ring hit theaters was the edge of a last shimmering gasp of physical media where iTunes had only come into being the year before, and iridescent discs were still mostly what we used, but cassettes, both video and audio, were still viable. And so, people did not think it was terribly weird when they started finding unlabeled VHS tapes on their windshields.

Movieweb, quoting TikTok user astro_nina:

"Their marketing strategy was essentially 'let's get this tape viewed by as many people as possible without these people being aware of what this is, sort of raising intrigue," she says. One way they achieved this was by airing the tape, which allegedly marks its viewers for death within seven days, as a commercial with no context. The video would air between late-night programming "with no words, no mention of a movie, for like a month...so people would run into it and it would just go on to the next thing, and people would be like, 'what the f--k is this?'"

I remember seeing the Cursed Video as an unexplained ad at least twice, by the way. That TikTok also indicates that DreamWorks straight-up sent copies of the tape to Hot Topic stores, as well as planting them under actual movie theater seats. While running my movie site, I heard at least one story of someone finding a tape on the sink counter of a restroom at a club. Did the marketing department actually plant tapes in bathrooms—or did a freaked-out recipient leave it there, hoping to dodge the "curse"?

(I haven't embedded the Cursed Video here, by the way—but I could have. If you'd like to see the American take on it, you can watch both the full version and the shorter variant that appeared in the movie itself. A text description of what the fuck you're even looking at is here [content note for both: blood, insects, animal death, body horror, and suicide by falling]. The original version from the Japanese film is shorter, and it's eerie rather than gruesome.)

BUT WAIT, THERE WAS MORE: DreamWorks had something of an alternate-reality campaign going with a handful of in-character websites. This was only a year after Warner Bros. ran the groundbreaking "The Beast" ARG for A.I.: Artificial Intelligence: "Ultimately, fifty websites with a total of about one thousand pages were created for the [A.I.] game." (I lurked in the Cloudmakers Yahoo group.) Marketing for The Ring did not go anywhere that in depth, nor did it need to; it was both a smaller film and a smaller story. I saw at least two “personal” websites (seemingly amateur and a little tacky, like my own), but the one I particularly remember was about someone who owned/trained horses? I'm not sure if it was meant to be the actual Anna Morgan character—Samara's mother—or maybe someone who had noticed that the Morgans' horses were disturbed? I'm not even sure anyone even remembers this but me. Reddit users dug up a few other archived websites, but they're about Sadako, the curse and/or videotape; they aren't as subtle or character-oriented as the site I remember. (Honestly, I wonder if weird shit like "What Scares Me" or "SEVEN DAYS TO LIVE" were made by fans rather than a marketing department, but who knows.)

[The “About” page from Seven Days to Live on the Internet Archive.]

[The entirety of An Open Letter on the Internet Archive. “UPDATE” is a now-blank pop-up. I would bet $5 that it was originally a pop-up of the cursed video.]

I need to point out here that Facebook did not exist in 2002. It would not exist for another two years, and Twitter wouldn't exist until 2006. Even MySpace was not a thing until the next year. I didn't start my Livejournal until October of 2003. What we had, for the most part, were independent forums and blogs. We also had Creepy Internet Fiction like "The Dionaea House" and "Ted the Caver"; their use of the blog format, of people out there seemingly living their lives until something fucked up went down, gave the stories the shape of reality. And it helped that these blogs had comment sections, sure—sometimes more story unfolded there—but for the most part, an author could "abandon" a blog, and you'd just find the story there via word of mouth. Like the Ring blogs I remember, it wouldn't seem strange if no one replied to you, whereas today, you'd have to hire a writer to sit on Twitter, or Reddit, or even Tumblr, and interact with people in character. Could you do something like The Ring's mysterious, weird-ass blogs today? Would anyone even notice?

So: It's 2002, my head is full of Alternate Reality and eerie images and you saw it, and I'm hype as hell to go out and see The Ring. I'm perfectly happy to go see movies by myself, so I went in the early afternoon (best time to get a good seat). The movie ended up being a sleeper hit, and the first weekend, the public was still sleeping on it, so there were only 7-8 other people in that theater, grouped in maybe two clusters. I was off in my own little pool of darkness in the upper right quadrant. Functionally, once the lights went down, I was alone.

Despite some middling reviews at the time, The Ring is something of a horror classic nowadays. If you want a scary movie this Spooky Season, check out The Ring. Or don't, because it nearly killed me.

We're at the last, I don't know, third of the movie? And Our Heroine has tracked down the origin of the Cursed Videotape to some creepy mountain motel or whatever. SPOILER, it turns out that it was built over the Cursed Well (everything in this movie is cursed) that Our Villain was thrown into—that's why Sadako/Samara is a vengeful wet murder ghost crawling out of TVs now. While investigating this decrepit hotel room, intrepid journalist Rachel and her, who is it, her ex-husband? her kid's dad, idk, discover the well under the creaky old floorboards. And then, wouldn't you know it,

NAOMI WATTS FALLS INTO THE WELL

NAOMI WATTS FALLS INTO THE FUCKING WELL

THAT'S WHERE SAMARA'S BODY IS

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[The rather slapstick moment when Rachel falls into the well. Does not include what actually happens next.]

I go absolutely rigid in my seat. Naomi Watts is splashing around this dark-ass death swamp of a well and I know, with as much certainty as I have ever known anything in my life, that Samara is about to pop up in all her pasty, waterlogged glory. All the sad creepy dread, all the desperation to figure out what the fuck all that shit on the tape was and stop Samara from killing Rachel's son, all the horrible contorted victim faces, all the alternate reality I’ve been soaking in, it has all come to this. I have to leave the theater. I cannot be having with this. I have to be gone from this place. My legs do not work. I cannot feel them. I am frozen. I want nothing more in this life or any other to get up and leave this cavernous pitch-black room, and I cannot. I start praying for death. I want you to understand that I am not trying to be flippant or humorous. This is genuinely what went through my head. I was too scared to even think, "You know, you could just pray to pass out or for motion to return to your limbs or something." No, I sat there in The Ring thinking, Please for the love of all mercy just let me cease being.

You know that scene in Mulholland Drive (also starring Naomi Watts)? Winkie's diner and the EXCRUCIATING tension? It was a little like that, except I wasn't watching it, I was experiencing it, and Samara was my dirt monster out behind the diner.

Except that the jump scare didn't actually happen. I mean, yes, Rachel finds Samara's body down there, but—I don't remember exactly, please don't make me go watch it again to tell you what actually happens. It's played more sympathetically on Rachel's part, as I recall, and she and her ex get Samara's body out so that she (Samara) can have a proper burial.

And then it turns out that this is not the end of the movie. It turns out that Rachel has Fucked Up.

I think I was relatively okay through the rest of it, although the climax is Samara emerging from a TV in her full glitching swampy glory to scare [SPOILER] to death. I don't recall praying for death twice. There's a point when you're so exhausted from fear chemicals that you're like, yeah, this might as well happen. Bring it, Soggy. I did have a hard time prying myself out of that seat afterwards, though, and my mom says that when I got home, I had the classic thousand-yard stare. How was the movie?

"It was great," I said, and I meant it.

I've seen things that were objectively scarier (I watched much of The Haunting of Hill House from behind a pillow, to be honest), and it's not like I've never experienced fear in real life. But I respect when a movie that can make me feel so intensely, and there's something weirdly precious about the way horror is a safe roller coaster, as it's often been said. So I love telling the story about The Time The Ring Nearly Killed Me—a movie that actually made my body stop working—and I love thinking of how embedded in a specific time and place that movie was for me. The last gasp of VHS when the Cursed Videotape still seemed plausible; the way the internet was still wild and weird and free; where I was in my life, keeping up so avidly with all the movie news, and finding myself in such a little pool of darkness early one afternoon. It's the scariest movie I saw in a theater; that's the alchemy of circumstance.

#the ring #ringu #horror #first look on patreon #movies #long post #spooky season #halloween everyday #long post is long #gifs

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jymwahuwu · 9 months

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Ever since the 1.2 update released and the storyline continues.. I remember the scene were blade and danheng met. Blade said he was loosing control when he saw danheng and his mars urges to kill him.. and I immediately thought of something when he said those..

So like.. what if we're one of the people who will pay the price? And the same situation where blade is loosing control over his mara strike.. and instead of trying to kill us.. he noncons you instead in a more feral state. Not giving you any mercy nor stopping until we're a sobbing mess and covered in white cream... (Man I don't even know what I'm thinking of...😀)

CW: non-con, recording without consent, others are watching, revenge, yandere, afab reader

I've thought about this too…if we're going to pay the price🫣 but Blade doesn't want to kill us, just wants to see us suffer or be ravaged…it must be that he loved us in Xianzhou, but…we betrayed him.

You are now forced to transform into immortality, just like him. Blade is chasing you. He does not control your freedom. Just putting a collar around your neck for a few days pushes you out, allowing you to walk around any planet. However, no matter which planet you visit, the Blade is destined to find you, pin your head to the ground, pounding you in the back, hitting sensitive spots. He knows your sensitive parts and forces you to orgasm. No matter what new friend, bond, or even new lover you have now, the end result is - you are strapped in front of them and have to sit on him and ride his cock like a dumb slut. "Blade…I'm sorry…" The tears of fear in your eyes were as stinging and sour as the ruthless betrayal you had brought him.

Will Silver Wolf and Kafka join? 🤔Silver Wolf may be more sympathetic to you and persuade Blade to play some games instead of chasing you endlessly, but she won't do much. Blowing bubble gum while recording and saving some videos of you sobbing can still be done. Afterwards, she refuses to do anything, and leaves to play the game. Kafka…she'll fuel or stop Blade in his Mara state, watch you get ravaged by Blade, and be like- "Bladie, listen to me: unleash the mara."

Those painful and hateful memories flooded into his mind, the scarlet eyes staring at you deepened, and the balls pressed against your sore and wet cunt. "Blade…don't…don't…I was wrong!! Stop…" You don't know if it's an illusion, feeling the already terrifying dick thicker and harder, buried deep inside you, against the opening of your uterus. And the white cream that had been pumped in couldn't bear this size, accompanied by the loud sound of soaking water, and some flowed out, dripping along your butt on the bed.

After it's over, you're lying in bed, exhausted, even your tears have dried, panting slowly, your body filled with cum, every hole fully cared for. The lady with the violet eyes and hair, remind him. "Bladie? Don't go too far. Take your little pet to take a bath." In the blurred vision, you watched the bandaged hand reach out to you, then hesitantly picked you up and took you into the bathroom.

#blade x reader #yandere honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade x reader #blade x you #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #yandere blade x reader

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aridiary · 5 months

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p.sh : LET ME MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

pairing : sunghoon x fem!reader

genre/content : smut, unprotected sex, finger fuck, oral (f receiving), cum eating, mentions of break up, pain in sex, dirty talk, use of dirty nicknames (slut), penetration, masturbating their partner (hoon receiving), mention of heeseung (enhypen) as reader's stepbrother and hoon's bestfriend.

Sorry if I've skipped something.

warning : +18 content, porn

synopsis : You were devastated to have broken up with your boyfriend who you had been dating for more than a year, all because he cheated on you with a "prettier" girl according to you, but someone decides to help you so you can forget about your ex. Will you let him help you?

author's note: Hi, this is my first work so I hope you enjoy it, I accept all kinds of constructive criticism and obviously if you want to recommend something to me you can do so.

"Can you two shut the fuck up?" you said angrily to the two boys sitting next to you.

"what a dirty mouth." sunghoon said teasingly. "Respect us because we are older than you."

You got even angrier and leaned towards both of them. "You shut your mouth, this is MY house, and you," you pointed at your stepbro "if I fail the final exams I'm going to kill you..." you looked at him and then at his friend "and you too, both of you." You sighed and took your books to go to the kitchen and continue studying.

"She's a little upset today, don't you think, Heeseung?" Sunghoon leaned back on the couch and looked at his friend.

"yes, more than usual." He sighed and looked at you as you studied in the kitchen, you noticed and quickly gave him the middle finger. "She broke up with her boyfriend today, so it's not just because of exams." he said softly almost in a whisper.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Really? Girls like her suffer from those things?..." He looked at you and noticed your brow that was still frowning and that your eyes were red, maybe from crying.

"girls like her?" Heeseung asks.

"yeah, disrespectful, angry, egoist girls like her... and sexy" Sunghoon say the last part in a whisper, almost inaudible, but his friend couldn't hear him.

"she really loved him, and he cheated on her... btw shes really sweet and kind, but I admit that when she is provoked she tends to get angry too quickly."

"i see..." Sunghoon said looking at her in the kitchen.

"Or is it just you, so unbearable when you're with her?" Hee said and they both laughed. "wanna play something?"

You were studying a little more until it was 10pm. You made too much progress with your studies so you are satisfied and decided to go to the living room where your stepbro and his best friend were playing video games on tv.

"hey, wanna eat something?" you asked and you stayed standing behind the couch where they were.

"mmm, pizza?" Heeseung says without even looking at you, just payed attention to the tv. You nodded and leaned on the couch watching their game until it was over.

"Are you better now or are you still annoyed? Well, i mean, you are always annoyed but today in general even more so." Sunghoon said in a teasing tone, also without looking at your face.

"fuck you." You sighed and sat next to him, keeping your distance.

"but I'm right, you're always frowning when I'm here, it even seems like you hate me." he said with a showy smile, maybe because of the game or because he saw out of the corner of his eye that he was bothering you more.

"because i do, idiot."

"You're going to turn 22 and your face is going to be wrinkled as if you were 50 because you get so angry, and very easily"

"oh, yes of course, haha" you said ironically. "it's just that you are too stupid and even your presence bothers everyone."

Suddenly, Sunghoon let out a scream of victory at having won the game and Heeseung simply sighed angrily and stood up. "I'll order the pizza." then, he went directly to the kitchen, leaving you both alone.

You took your phone and started looking at your social media while you waited for your stepbrother to come back. Sunghoon looked at you and moved closer to you a little.

"You're too rude today, you know that?"

You sighed and looked into his eyes. "Maybe it's because all the people today agreed to be shit."

Sunghoon smiled at you, he knew you were saying that because you had broken up with your boyfriend today.

He put his hand on your left thigh and moved closer to your ear. "Just because you're upset about breaking up with your boyfriend doesn't mean you should take it out on me, you know?" He squeezed your thigh lightly and smiled at you.

You looked at him silently and then at his hand on your thigh. "How do you know that?"

"Your brother told me, but don't worry, i know something." He moved closer to your face and squeezed your bare thigh more.

"What?"

He just smiled and moved away from you completely. He looked behind you and you did too, it was Heeseung approaching to both of you while looking at his phone. "The pizza comes in 20 minutes."

"Okay." Sunghoon said and lay back on the couch looking at his phone. You wanted to ask him what he knew, but you weren't going to, not now that Heeseung was with you two.

When the food arrived the three of you stayed in the living room, watching a tv show that you and your stepbro liked, but you couldn't stop thinking about what Sunghoon had told you.

It might seem silly, but you were really really curious and that 'I know something' had you nervous, but you didn't do anything wrong, right? What could he know about you that you would have to worry so much? In the end he was just Sunghoon, the guy you always saw as the stupid one who fucks with a different girl every night just because he's rich and is attractive as hell, but he's not that smart, right?

"Good night, guys." You stood up and grabbed your glass to put it in the kitchen sink.

"Are you going to sleep now? It's too early~" Sunghoon looked at you with a mischievous smile.

"It's almost midnight, Sunghoon." You said seriously and couldn't help but yawn.

"aww, will you go to sleep early like a baby? ahhh, of course, the little girl goes to school~" Sunghoon said teasingly.

"At least I study and I'm not doing nothing all day." You stuck your tongue out at him and turned around. "Bye."

You walked up the stairs and then entered your room. On the other hand, Sunghoon smiled at your bad attitude and continued watching TV with your brother.

Your clock read 2:47 am and you still couldn't sleep. Your brother and his friend had already gone to sleep while you were in the cool darkness of your room, thinking about all the shit that had happened to you today. or well, the biggest shit that happened to you today.

and it was having discovered that your boyfriend was cheating on you with a girl of your class.

It was really unexpected, you never thought he would do that to you, never, but you should have thought that pretending is really easy when you put your mind to it. Since then you asked yourself: since when did he cheated on you? he really loved you? why did he do that?

It really hurt you, and your only distraction the entire afternoon since you got home was homework and the multiple topics you had to study for your college final exams. But now, now that you were alone and unable to fall asleep, you did what your body and mind had been putting up with since you broke up with your boyfriend: cry.

You cried silently, because something you hated was showing how weak you were to other people, and even more so when those people don't deserve to know your weaknesses. and that's how you sat on your bed, your back against the cold wall and your mouth biting the sheets so as not to cry out loud, because another thing you didn't like, was sleep with the door closed and let's say that the walls were almost made of paper, you would hear even the slightest noise.

But it was inevitable, you had to breathe and when you did, a small sob could be heard throughout the room. You buried your face between your knees that were close to your chest and continued crying. It wasn't until you heard the irritating screeching noise of your door opening further and you quickly raised your head.

You turned on the small light on your nightstand and looked at the door. "What...what are you doing here?" you said with a broken voice and quickly wiped away your tears.

Sunghoon walked over to you and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at you softly. "I was going to the bathroom but I heard you crying... I would ask you if you're okay but it's obvious that you're not, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" He raised his right hand to your knee, caressing it on the sheets.

You frowned simply to avoid him and because the last person you wanted to tell how you felt was him, because he always looked for ways to make you angry, annoy you or humiliate you, always since you were children. so you just avoided him and tried to show him that you didn't need him, but your eyes and your shaking body said otherwise.

"I know you hate me, and I don't blame you because I brought it on myself... but I really appreciate you and I care about you, every stupid thing I do with you to annoy you is just to hide what I really feel..."

"uhm?..." You murmured in confusion, now looking into his eyes as you waited for him to continue.

"I like you, yn, I like you too much that I got scared. I had never felt this way about someone, not to be cliché but I was never in anything serious and it was only because I felt like I didn't love anyone too much to be with me. But you... I've been liking you for more than a year, but when I thought it was the right time to tell you, you started dating who's now your ex" he confessed and looked you straight in the eyes.

"and I saw the only way I could make me stop liking you was just to bother you and sleep with other girls, just to forget you. But every time I saw you with that idiot I got angry and I always told myself that I didn't have to do it, because you and I weren't and aren't anything." You stayed silent as you processed every word that escaped his mouth.

"but you know what? Fuck him for making you cry so many times that I can't even count them with my fingers. And shit, yn, you make me fucking crazy, you know?" He leaned towards you and held your shoulders firmly.

"I don’t give a shit about how you feel for me, but please, let me make you feel better…” He didn’t let you even think about his proposal as he leaned in even closer and pressed his lips against yours.

You raised your hands to his arms that supported your shoulders, you were about to push him away from you but his soft lips moving gently against yours making you lose all the strength you had at that moment and stay trapped between his arms and his lips.

so you just responded to his kiss, savoring the light taste of whiskey that he had in his mouth and probably that whisky belonged to your parents from their large collection which your stepbro always stole a little to drink with his friends.

But shit, the taste of his lips was so new, like a sweet venom that, despite being bad for you, you felt it like paradise.

Sunghoon, realizing that you kissed him back, took it as a sign, to be able to fix the damage he didn't do, to make you feel better, to please you or even to make you cry even more... but with pleasure.

He laid you down on the bed and got on top of you. He continued kissing you while holding and squeezing your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck as you became hypnotized with every movement he made.

"Tell me if it's too much..." Sunghoon said and then continued kissing you while he moved his hands up to your breasts, caressing them over the thin fabric of your top.

Sunghoon seemed a little shy, but he really wasn't, he just didn't want to cross the line with you. You realized this and broke the kiss, placing a hand on his chin and forcing him to look at you. "You've been an asshole since I've known you, so do me a favor: do this right." You said and smiled.

He laughed too and kissed your neck affectionately. "So, you let me do whatever I want to you?"

"only as long as you keep your promise to make me feel better." you closed your eyes to let yourself be carried away by the sensation of his hands and mouth.

"I'll do it." He smiled seductively and put one of his hands under your top. "Were you waiting for me, or why aren't you wearing your bra? You dirty little girl." He pinched one of your nipples and you let out a moan.

He raised his free hand to your mouth and stopped touching you. "Shut up or you'll wake up your brother." He warned you and once you nodded your head slightly he removed his hand from your mouth and lowered them to the elastic of your top to lift it over your breasts.

Sunghoon's cock throbbed inside his pants as he saw the perfect shape of both of your breasts, big enough for one to fit perfectly in each of his hands. He touched and kneaded them at the same pace, feeling how soft they were and how hard your nipples got with each movement.

He noticed how you writhed under him and covered your mouth with both hands to avoid moaning. "You're so fucking sensitive, can't wait to have you around my cock."

He brought one of your breasts to his mouth as he slowly lowered his hand towards your shorts. He played with the elastic of your panties before pulling your shorts down, leaving them down to your knees.

"mmm, too wet for the guy you say you hate so much, don't you think?" he looked at your panties that had a wet spot right where your entrance was. Sunghoon smirked and pressed his thumb on your entrance, making you squirm.

Without asking you, he took your black lace panties and pulled them down completely along with your shorts. He took your light legs and spread them, making you completely exposed to him. "fuck, what a pretty and soft pussy~"

You sighed weakly and felt your pussy tighten with just Sunghoon's eyes on your little pink pussy.

"that? Didn't your boyfriend fuck you?" he said annoyingly and leaned down to kiss your lower abdomen. You stayed silent and just moaned under your hands. "Uhg, let me guess, you're not virgin but he certainly didn't fuck you often, right?" He smiled, you nodded with a little embarrassment and he opened your legs even more, making a wet sound of the lips of your pussy parting.

Sunghoon didn't waste any more time, it seemed like he was now more sure of what and what not to do, although surely you won't refuse anything he does with you. He lowered his face to your wetness, he didn't even touch you and you were already squirming from his warm breath on your folds.

"fuck— please..."

"please what?" He looked at you from between your legs.

"eat me out, please..."

"as you wish, baby." With his arms linked to your legs, he pulled you towards him and began to gently kiss your swollen clit.

You squirmed and covered your mouth to stop yourself from moaning. You wanted him to stick his tongue into your needy cunt but if you moved your hands away from your mouth it was very sure that you would moan. Then Sunghoon continued teasing you, sliding his warm, wet kisses all over your inner thigh, biting lightly and leaving small reddish marks on your pale skin.

"f-fuck you— sunghoon" You cursed as his kisses drifted away from your needy cunt and you dug your nails into the sheets of your bed in desperation.

"sh, sh. Have to teach that dirty mouth of yours to have manners?" He raised his head and looked at you.

you cried out of desperation and need, you shook your head and he smiled. "Okay, then keep quiet."

He continued kissing your inner thighs in a torturous way, and you realized that in a way it was to mark you, because he liked you... no, he loved you, and he had been waiting for this moment since he felt attracted to you.

Not even he could hold back for too long without being able to taste you and destroy you with just his tongue. Then, suddenly you had Sunghoon starting to eat you out, moving his warm tongue along your folds and tasting your delicious nectar.

You arched your back in pleasure, but you couldn't moan and somehow your pleasure had to manifest, so you started to cry lightly because of how his tongue moved so skillfully between your folds. And shit, thinking about all the pussies he'd tasted before yours made your blood boil, but why? If you didn't like him, right?

He continued to eat you desperately, he dug his nails into your thighs to hold you better. He lowered his tongue to your entrance and without even asking permission he slid inside you and felt how you tightened around his tongue.

"why are you so fucking tight?" He cursed and continued to move the tip of his tongue over your entrance and his nose pressed torturously on your swollen clit.

"fuck, Hoonie— im g-gonna cum..."

"how did you call me?" He said without stopping moving between your legs.

"H-hoonie... it's that bad?"

"fuck, obviously not... I'll fuck you so hard" He said and attacked your pussy again with his tongue and nose furiously. And as if that wasn't enough, he stuck one of his fingers into your tight pussy that was about to cum on Sunghoon's face.

"One finger is enough for you, really? shit, your ex didn't give you what you deserved" and that's was enough for you to cum with sobs in your face. Too intense for what you had experienced so far, and you could only cry with pleasure and hold back while you left your last drops of cum on Sunghoon's face.

"That's it, baby" He cleaned up all your mess in your pussy with his tongue, which made you even crazier. When he finished, he approached your face and kissed you. "Can you feel it? the sweet taste of your cum."

You blushed and could taste yourself on his lips. You grabbed some tissues on the nightstand, cupped his face in your hands and began to slowly clean his face. He just watched you as you cleaned him and kneaded your breasts gently. "You're so fucking beautiful..." he said softly, appreciating you.

You didn't say anything until you finished cleaning him, putting the tissues aside and forcing him to look you in the eyes. "Thank you."

"Do you think we'll end up here?" He asked with a mischievous smile, squeezing your breasts slightly.

"I just thank you for making me forget about my ex until now."

"ohh, but believe me, when i finish with you the only thing you'll remember is my name."

He kissed your neck once again and moved between your legs. You admired every gesture he made while he stroked his cock through his pants. You arched your back as you watched his face frown and his cock get harder and harder, making it start to hurt.

Not being able to resist it anymore, Sunghoon lowered his pants along with his boxers to the middle of his thighs. His cock shot out, and 'shit', you thought, how could he have such a big cock? It looked so big, soft and delicious, you wanted to put it in your mouth or play with your hands in it for a while.

You looked at Sunghoon needily, with hungry puppy eyes, and yes, you were hungry, hungry for his cock. You squirmed beggingly and let out a soft sigh as you tried to bring your hips closer to his length.

"Do you like what you see?" He asked as he stroked his cock and left a trail of precum along your inner thigh. You nodded and he smiled. "You want me to ruin you with my cock, don't you? fucking needy slut"

You didn't know why, but those insults only turned on you even more and you nodded your head quickly.

"Good girl" Sunghoon lined his length against your entrance and it teased you a little. "I don't even know if you're going to be able to take only my tip... You are so badly used."

It was impressive how Sunghoon's degrading words sounded so damn hot when they came out of his mouth and that wasn't a problem for you at all. On the other hand, he was right, you were too tight for his cock, so it would be hard not to hurt at some point.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" You nodded and sat on the bed, letting your back rest against the wall while he stretched you a little with his fingers.

You placed both your hands on Sunghoon's shoulders as you looked between your bodies, keeping an eye out for when Sunghoon's cock entered you.

His cock began to slowly slide into you, you dug your nails into his shoulders and bit your lip to keep from moaning. At least you were wet enough to make it less painful, but it still hurt. "Do you need me to stop?" He asked looking into your eyes but still with a bit of his cock inside you.

"mmg- no..."

"are you sure?"

"yes..."

You cant deny it now. Sunghoon is a man, and your body is responding like a woman. Your body know what it wants. It wants Sunghoon for some reason, even if you have never had feelings for him before, or if you two are nothing, now you realize that it is what you need.

Then Sunghoon began to slowly move inside you, only half of his cock inside you as you got used to his size. "You're so tight... I'm going to cum any second." He whined and held your hips even tighter, restraining himself from starting to thrust deeper and faster.

You writhed in pain and pleasure as you felt his cock throb inside you. Little by little the pain decreased but it was still present, and when you least expected it you cum.

"s-sorry..." you said as you realized he hadn't cum yet.

"Don't worry about me, are you okay?" He withdrew inside you, still noticeably hard but leaned down to kiss your lips.

You returned his kiss and pushed him so that he was lying on the bed. "let me help you..." you sat on his lap, wrapped your hand around his member and began to jerk him off.

"ah... yn-" He was going to say something but your soft, small hands silenced him.

You moved your hands quickly and it didn't take long for him to cum from having you as a landscape, naked and ruined on top of him while you pleasured him.

He came in your hands and it didn't take long for you to taste every drop that fell from his cock with your tongue.

"It tastes... b-better than your ex's cum, right?" he's trying to catch his breath.

"Why do you keep mentioning him?"

"to compare myself with him and for you to see that I always was and am better than him."

"damn narcissist" you laughed lightly and hugged him. "can I ask you something?"

Sunghoon returned your hug and made a sound of agreement. "What did you mean today when you said 'I know something'?"

Sunghoon laughed and rubbed your back. He leaned close to your ear and whispered. "I know how to please you..."

a/n 2: naur JDIKAKDQK I hope you like it, I'm sorry if there are spelling or grammar errors, since I am not very familiar with writing this type of things in English because it is not my native language. Sooooo, thank you for reading.

#enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #park sunghoon #sunghoon #enhypen hard hours #sunghoon hard hours #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x y/n #sunghoon x you #smut #+18 content #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen park sunghoon #sunghoon hard thoughts #enhypen hard thoughts #park sunghoon hard hours #enhypen

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astrowaffle · 5 months

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Wow you guys really seemed to like the steampunk AU, that post got way more attention than I was expecting, so here's some more information and stuff:

-The world is still like a videogame that they got trapped in but now it’s a steampunk adventure-y type game with circus elements

-The adventures are probably a bit different

-They’re probably more like, fantasy adventure video game style things with like puzzles and fighting? Idk I'm not a big gamer I've never actually played any steampunk video games. What are those like?

-Instead of circus tent, there is a big wagon thingy that I'll draw eventually

-there's still not much of a story and I'm not sure If there'll ever be

-I'd also kinda want to make some mini comics for this au but I suck at coming up with ideas :/

Pomni:

-She likes to craft things

-friends with Gangle and Ragatha

-still very anxious but less anxious then normal Pomni?

-has a very logical mind and is good at puzzling things together but also doesn’t do well under pressure and typically panics in stressful moments where these skills might be useful

-She can play the flute because flutes are good, they are the best instrument. (I am totally not biased just because I play the flute in marching band)

-My headcanon for regular Pomni is that she’s less anxious than she initially is in the pilot after getting used to things, like, beyond the anxiety, her actual personality is very cheery and friendly, also very logical, because idk it just fits her somehow? So yea, that headcanon also applies to this au

-but of course she is still an absolute nervous wreck because yes

-How else is she supposed to react in this situation

-also look at those fingerless gloves I want those

-the gears in her eyes turn when she is thinking

Gangle:

-Also likes crafting things

-friends with Pomni, Zooble, and Kinger

-she often borrows sewing needles from Ragatha to sew her comedy mask back together when it’s torn, and also constantly tries to craft new ones

-She really likes her boots

-I don’t blame her those are some nice boots

-Ok wait a minute what if that little wing bow thingy on her head is actually a pen/quill that she can use to write stuff?

-ooooooh yes I like that

Caine:

-✨monocle✨

-He can control the time of day with the clock that’s on his hat

-It’s a lot harder for him to heal injuries in this world, he can’t just instantly fix anything anymore it requires a bit more effort

-I’m doing this because I like when injury and pain and suffering

Bubble: um- idk it’s just bubble but now they’re a robot I guess

Kinger:

-ok but what if he had a collection of mechanical insects? Omg designing mechanical insects would be so fun-

-The clock that he wears is broken but he doesn’t notice. And Time is irrelevant anyways

-damn those gloves are fancy

-they probably feel really silky

-and his robe is also very silky because mmm good texture

Zooble:

-They are a robot now

-also a mechanic/inventor because nobody else is and somebody had to learn how to make new robot parts

-their right arm can go s t r e t c h

-bonds with Gangle over their hatred of Jax

-they’re also kinda protective over her

-I lowkey ship them (this ship is so underrated)

-No but seriously why do see zero art of this ship

- Zoob’s in denial about their feelings and still pretends not to care because they’ve had such a “I don’t give a shit about anything” attitude that suddenly developing feelings for someone has caught them off guard cause they suddenly are giving a shit about something and they don’t know how to handle it, But if Jax does anything to Gangle they will rush in to protect her in a heartbeat and just try to play it off as it just being because they don’t like Jax BUT WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH ZOOBLE JUST CONFESS ALREADY-

-ok that got way too rambly let's just move on now

Jax:

-MY FAVORITE

-he likes shiny things

-He will collect those shiny things

-He also very fast because look at those LANKY RABBIT LEGS

-I mean technically that’s already cannon, did you see how fast he ran away after seeing abstracted kaufmo? He just z o o m e d outta there

-those keys on the chain are only a small portion of his collection

-his room is definitely full of weird steampunk knick knacks because yes

-He uses them to prank people

-the centipedes he has to scare/annoy Ragatha are mechanical

-I’m so excited to design mechanical centipedes I love bugs so much guys you have no idea I finally have an excuse to draw insects and maybe people will actually care because it’s fandom related now

-He does not like getting wet. At all. (this is also just a general headcanon for him but especially in this au)

-floofy

Ragatha:

-the seams of her fabric are prone to tearing so she always carries a needle and thread to sew herself back together. she's good at sewing

-My main headcannon for normal Ragatha is that her button eye is a parallel to an eye injury she had in real life before joining the circus, but in this AU she probably acquired the injury in this universe.

-she’s good at using tools and weapons but not in like, a mechanic sorta way like Zooble but in a defense sorta way

-like, she’s very kind and caring but also sorta tough and even though her body is good at falling apart, she knows how to use strategy to fight and um wait what would they even be fighting-

-idk I haven’t thought about that yet

-Gloinks?????

-do those exist in this au???

-wait it’s my au why am I asking this

-overall she is very, “tries to help everyone else and seems very tough on the outside but is prone to falling apart both physically and mentally but just gets good at quickly patching it up and ignoring it until it become too much for her to bear”

-pls help her she needs therapy

-they all need therapy

-I’m pretty sure we’ve all established that at this point

-but I’m just making sure you know that it’s still a consistent factor in this au

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tatsumessy · 1 year

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3:27 am - {Nagi Seishiro}

nagi tossed around in bed stretching his arms out trying to reach for your body so that he could pull you closer but to his surprise you weren’t there. he sat up and rubbed his eyes then started looking around the room trying to see if he could see your silhouette anywhere in the room. getting out the bed he dragged himself all throughout your apartment trying to find you but even after ten minutes he failed horribly.

“babeeee?” he called out hoping that this was some sick game of marco polo and that when he’d call for you, you’d answer. nope he was wrong again, no answer. he walked back into the living room noticing from a distance that the bathroom door was open and he knew something was off because you never left any doors open at night. once he got closer to the bathroom he could hear faint sobs coming from in the dark, he turned on the light and there you were. huddled on the floor cradling your knees to your chest, “babe? was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” he said scratching his neck waiting for your response but all he got was a small choked sob from you.

“y/n? what’s wrong?” he bent down rubbing the top of your head while trying to figure out the best way to comfort you. a few moments passed and you refused to move from that spot in the bathroom so nagi did what he thought was smart and situated himself behind you. his legs were on either side of your body and he wrapped his arms around your waist forcing your back to press against his chest. “talk t’me babe.” he whispered caressing your shaking arms, “i’m tired…” his movements halted hearing your croaky voice finally speak after ten minutes of him sitting here and suffering from hearing your cries. “I don’t understand..?” your hand gripped his arm slightly as you leaned your head into him.

“are you stressed? have I been making you feel more tired lately? is it your head? are you tired of your mind? are you feeling anxious? depressed? scared?” all of nagi’s questions had your mind racing a million miles a minute, “all of the above.” you responded hiccuping in between words trying to calm yourself down. “but it’s mostly my thoughts, when I don’t have something to distract me I tend to get in my head about a lot of things…” “like what?” nagi started moving pieces of your hair out of your face and peppering soothing kisses on your hair line. “us. my insecurities about our relationship.”

“did I do anything to trigger this?” he asked asking multiple questions in his head and quickly replaying yesterday in his mind to make sure he didn’t do anything to hurt you. “n-no you didn’t. I just don’t understand why I’m like this…why I always have these moments where I break down and cry and just doubt everything good in my life.” nagi sat there holding you and listening to you rant about how you’d been feeling, he knew what he was getting into when he proposed to you. he knew that you had some demons that you needed to fight and when you were ready he was here for you. it just hurts to see how much pain you’re in and he’s not able to help you.

“nothings wrong with you. everyone has doubts in their life, you don’t think I did when I asked you to marry me? I was scared shitless thinking you were going to say no because I’m a lazy soccer player who sits around the apartment all day playing video games like a kid. but I still did it, I overcame my fear because no matter what, I knew I had you. and that you love me for all of my faults and you’ve never judged me for it.” his hand pulled your chin up towards him so that he could get a good look at your face, tears were still rolling down your face but you looked like you calmed down a bit.

“angel, I’m not going to say you’re perfect but you are right in all the right ways. I love you.” “I-I love you sei.” you responded, “and if you ever start to feel like this again, wake me up. I don’t want you suffering by yourself anymore.” you nodded your head yes and cuddled yourself against his warmth, the two of you actually fell asleep on the bathroom floor and woke up with aching bones.

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radicaldadood · 2 years

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Rise drabble y'all yep yep featuring urs truly foot!Leo <3 Forgive me it shouldn't be this long- A drabble ain't even a drabble anymore- Edit: pss I drew this drabble

You wiped the blood on your lips, keeping your eyes narrowed at the man you once knew.

"C'mon (Y/n), we don't have to keep doing this. Just surrender yourself to us. To me. Simple as that and we won't have to fight each other anymore." His husky voice rings in your ear.

Again. As if this will be the last before you yield.

This is amusing to him. The chasing, the game between cat and mouse. He catches you and you fight back. Then he let you escape on purpose. Everytime. Then it repeats like a routine for the both of you.

You know. He knows you know because that's why he allows you to escape. That shit eating grin he often wears to pissed you off on purpose.

How did it get to this?

New York falling apart. Almost every inch of the cities there is no place where the Shredder doesn't own.

People feared for their lives day and night. Unable to risk themselves to go out to look for supplies.

That is your duty. Looking for supplies for the others before curfew. And everytime he always seems to get in your way.

How did he turn out like this?

You remember laughing with him. Pulling jokes together. Playing video games together. Having midnight snacks together because you guys would suffer insomnia almost every night.

He was always so cheerful. So loving. Loyal and caring. He was the face of the team. A leader. A friend. A brother. A son.

What had happened to that Leo?

What gave him away?

What did he miss?

What did he lose?

Thunder cracked upon the sky, snapping you back to reality. You hardened your grips on your sword as you stood your ground.

On the wrong time, your mind decided to occupy you once more by torturing you with stupid flashbacks. You eventually fall for the blue clad throughout the years knowing him and the guys. You two were the closest friends. A duo. Two peas in a pod. You were inseparable. But you decided to bury your feelings deep down, afraid you would ruin your friendship.

You cringed at the thought. You liked- no- loved Leo.

But this isn't Leo.

Leo is no more.

Replaced by this…monster.

Poisoned by another monster. A monster that is much worse than him.

The rain drops reminded you again of the present. The turtle in front of you has been patient with you all evening. You're quite lucky to find out that he hadn't lost his patience after he turned his back on his family. Which means there is still part of Leo left in him. And it pains you deeply.

He pulled a grin, tilting his head while raising his hand and gestured to you to make your last call. It's always like this. He would ask you the first time for you to surrender and you would decline. He'd ask again and you'd give him the same answer. The third same request will be his last warning and you guys would spar after you gave him your final answer.

And tonight as always, you still refuse to give him what he want.

He shrugged, raising his shoulders before cracking his neck and gave his sword a couple of warm up swings.

You stood your ground, waiting for him to give you his special attack like he always does. He didn't take off his smile before speeding himself towards you. You let out the breath you've been holding, embracing yourself for the impact as he charge at you.

Masterlist

#rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt leonardo x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt foot!leo #foot!leo #rottmnt fic #tmnt fic #rottmnt imagine #tmnt imagine #rottmnt leo #tmnt leo #save rottmnt #drabble #tmnt drabble #rottmnt drabble #RFL series

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dazais-guardian-angel · 5 days

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Flying Too Close To the Moon (a Baizhu character analysis)

Over a year ago now, in February of 2023, Genshin Impact's twitter account posted about a certain green-haired doctor from Liyue with a snake, announcing that he was at long last going to become playable. *narrator voice* Little did I know at that point just how much my life was going to be ruined changed by this man, something I never could have fathomed in all my time of playing before.

Today, by the time of Baizhu's birthday, almost a year since his release, he has never left my team and is one of my ultimate comfort characters... and at the same time, paradoxically, fills me with such intense feelings of dread, if I ever think just a little too hard about him for a little too long.

This is my experience with him.

From the beginning, I wasn't one of the people who had been anxiously awaiting for Baizhu's release. I'd always been curious about him, and thought he was beautiful (but lol who in this game isn't?), but there was practically nothing to know, and he appeared so little, so not being an existing fan, I didn't think much about him compared to other more prominent characters. With that first drip marketing, however, I was suddenly instantly intrigued:

"Regrettably, Baizhu cannot save all his patients — himself, for example. Herbalist Gui has mentioned that Baizhu's physical condition is extremely poor, and he often has to go back to his residence to rest after seeing patients. Even so, his smile never falters while in front of people. When Gui asked him about this, he replied, "If the doctor looks sick himself, how can his patients face their illnesses with confidence?" Day after day, Baizhu heals his patients. His ever-present smile hides the numerous bitter medicines he takes and the pain he suffers alone."

What's this, Baizhu is a doctor who is also sick himself? He has a chronic illness?? Finally I have a disabled character in a video game I can play as and relate to??? Not to mention the DELICIOUS angst potential the (absolutely devastating) last sentence held. Unfortunately, because my lazy ass rarely ever talks to npcs outside of quests, I was completely unaware of this very important little fact about Baizhu, learned via Herbalist Gui that had been in the game since literally 1.0, but to say that I was excited upon finally learning it now was an understatement. This changed everything, turning a character I had previously only had a passing interest in into someone I felt like I might be able to connect with, and a character I could truly call my own. Previously, my favorite Genshin character was Zhongli — he was my very first limited 5* and I started the game pretty much because I was interested in him lol — but just from this short summary alone, I had a strong feeling that Baizhu had the potential to surpass him, and become my new favorite.

My initial impressions from everything we knew about Baizhu pre-release (for how little that was) were that he was a kind, selfless doctor who didn't want others to see his weakness, but in secret was striving for immortality in order to save his own life from his severe illness. Qiqi seemed to be someone he observes to further his research in gaining said immortality, but his love and care for her still feels sincere, although he can never properly convey this in words because, to me at least, he's keeping himself at a distance from her and others so as to not hurt them too much if he passed away. Baizhu tearing out Qiqi's journal entry about him being a good person so that she doesn't dwell on and remember such things about him seemed to support this, as well.

Upon release, we also had Dainsleif's lines about Baizhu in his collected miscellany video, which made me emotional as well: Dain, someone who is cursed with and suffers daily from immortality that he never asked for, respects Baizhu's desire for immortality himself, because for him it would be freedom from the pain and suffering he already experiences, seemingly. Most people want immortality for selfish reasons, but for Baizhu, I thought, it's out of a desire to save his very life, and in turn save more people as a doctor in the future. It's human, understandable, and the mark of an incredibly caring and altruistic person, and Baizhu wanting to heal himself is something to be sympathized with, especially if you can relate to his pain.

This part in particular from his demo was so powerful to me: the defiance of his fate, of his death, and the display of his continued strength of will and resolve, and even skill in battle, no matter how physically weak he may be. Though he still has his doubts and his guilt, here he says "I will not die, I will beat the odds, and no one can decide my fate for me, nor can they shake my resolve."

All of this only made me love him more and more. I was hoping we would get to see his insecurities and fears about his condition and his possible fate, and that he would learn to allow himself to be cared for by those who loved him — to realize at least a little bit more that he will never be a burden on others, because the guilt over such things is all too real for someone with a disability or chronic illness. His non-spoiler voice lines were so comforting and hopeful, and I wanted his story to be hopeful as well, without going as far as to magically cure him like what unfortunately happened with Collei.

That was what I wanted. More or less, that was what I expected, especially with the copious other examples of the "overworked character learns they need to take a break and feel supported by the traveler" storyline in Genshin insert the waifu baizhu (waifzhu?) jokes here.

And then, I played Baizhu's story quest.

.....No image in the world can fully sum up exactly how I felt after that, but, well, I think Paimon here is the closest I can get.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember standing there, at the bottom of the steps leading up to the pharmacy where the end of the quest left me, not knowing how to feel. Feeling completely numb. Feeling like I'd just gotten punched in the gut a million times over. Feeling sick. Call me overdramatic, too overly attached to fiction, whatever, but no words can possibly convey just how much the revelations about Baizhu in his quest fucked me up. I did not feel good for quite a few days after playing it, as it haunted me, as I turned it over and over again in my mind. Not just the information given itself, but how it was given; the entire tone of it all. At some point I was finally able to make myself cry, and it was only then that I felt at least marginally better. But I'd be lying if I said that I've ever truly and fully processed and let sunk in everything to do with Baizhu, even a year later.... and I doubt that I ever will.

Don't get me wrong: Baizhu's story quest is without a doubt one of the best story quests in the game so far, and that's not at all bias speaking. It's short, to the point, uses npcs effectively and in a way that helps develop the main character instead of taking all the spotlight over them, and it leaves setup for more story in the future. For a Baizhu fan, it's the best quality one could ask for. It's the most we've ever learned about him, the most screentime he's ever had, and it emotionally and tenderly shows exactly what kind of person he is, and why he is the way he is, and does the things he does.

It's also absolutely horrific, and to this day I'm still not entirely certain exactly what message the writers wanted the player to take away from it by the end.

The quest introduces us to a boy and his father, Ayu and Jialiang, the latter of whom Baizhu wishes to treat, partly as a personal favor to his late master and to said master's other past disciple, the mother of the family, Jiangli. Through Baizhu's handling of their case, and talking to Hu Tao, we learn that Baizhu is not only obsessed with attaining immortality, but that he supposedly uses less-than-reputable methods to heal patients, methods that he keeps tightly under wraps. This, along with all the strange research he does that seemingly has nothing to do with the medical field, has given him a suspicious reputation — the game subtly lampshading the fandom seeing him as nothing more than a sketchy snake doctor ever since the beginning — but no one has ever been able to dig deep enough to find any proof that he has any ulterior motives, not even Yelan; thus, the ultimate consensus is that he truly must be nothing more than a kind and benevolent doctor who has his patients' best interests at heart, no matter what else he's doing in the background. Upon Baizhu treating Jialiang for the first time, however, we’re directly confronted with this secret, dubious healing method he uses, and what exactly it means for Baizhu, as with all the masters that came before him.

To say my stomach dropped here would be an understatement, because I knew exactly what this meant. And sure enough, not a few minutes later in the quest, we get the dreaded truth:

Baizhu’s poor physical condition is not from natural causes; rather, he is as weak as he is because he’s made himself that way. Changsheng is a former adeptus he made a contract with, that allows the host to transfer some of their own life force from themselves to someone else, using Changsheng as the conduit. The contract is meant to strengthen the body of the host and extend their lifespan, however these advantages effects are outweighed by Baizhu, and all his predecessors before him, repeatedly giving away their life force to heal others, causing them to become frail and inevitably die young. The contract has always been used in this way, and all of its prior users all met the same untimely end; Baizhu is at no less risk of that.... which is why he wants to become immortal, so he can continue to heal people with the forbidden arte without fear of death.

This would already be a Lot as it is. Trading away one's life force to save another isn't exactly a brand new trope, but the idea of a doctor doing it over and over again to save lives when all else fails, even to the detriment of their own body.... It's the ultimate act of selflessness, of kindness, of sacrifice. It's touching. It's laudable. It's devastating, to a degree one can't even imagine.

Because Baizhu doesn't just stop there, as we find out at the end of the quest.

How do you expect me to read this—

and additionally this—

and also this...

...and not have it occupy my mind 24/7, sending me in a downward never-ending spiral of existential horror, for all of eternity?? just like Baizhu himself—

While it's heavily implied that all the contract users prior to Baizhu only ("only") used it one-way, to give their own life force to others, Baizhu has taken it a step further, and also been using Changsheng to transfer his patients' diseases and illnesses onto himself. This likely is a more effective way of "curing" some of them entirely, instead of simply delaying their symptoms' worsening with more life force, although he cannot take on the worst of them/terminal illnesses of course. But he has taken on so, so many, so many diseases and so many symptoms, all compounding and blending together to the point that Jiangli, another doctor just as skilled as Baizhu, cannot even distinguish them all or recognize some of them, that he might as well be terminal. Not only does Baizhu do this for the sake of his patients, but he's also using his body as a human petri dish, testing different diseases and poisons on himself to see how they interact with each other, both to create more effective medicines and understand the mechanisms of the human body better, and to perhaps find the secret to immortality.

This reveal at the end of the quest is presented as an awe-inspiring, poignant twist, that's meant to make you see Baizhu in a brand-new light. The animated cutscene is tear-jerking, bittersweet, yet beautiful, as we finally come to understand the full scope of just who Doctor Baizhu is, just how truly pure and selfless he is, and just how much he has sacrificed, and plans to sacrifice forevermore. Many people who weren't fans of Baizhu or were neutral on him had their minds completely changed upon this bombshell being dropped, it rightfully clearing away any and all misunderstandings about him somehow being a bad person, and fostering newfound respect for him. That's the best word to use for how the game portrays all this: respectable. Baizhu's situation is tragic, but his actions are nevertheless shown and seen as beautiful, and admirable. His self-sacrifice is to be praised, and honored, because he is doing it for the good of so many others, because his heart is just that big, and that caring. It's bittersweet, but Baizhu is determined, and we should respect his resolve.

But should we really?

Yelan would disagree, I believe. Which is ironic, considering that in her own story quest, Baizhu transfers poison into himself from Uncle Tian with her there, and she is none the wiser.

Just... really stop and think about the implications of what Baizhu is doing to himself, and the life he lives. Try to imagine it, how it would feel, to be inundated with that many diseases and toxins, to the point that all of your internal organs are diseased; to the point that you have every symptom imaginable, sometimes all at once. Now, take that, and imagine living that kind of hell with it progressively worsening, for all of eternity, as Baizhu wants to do.

You can't fathom it. To say that it's beyond human comprehension is an understatement. And yet, that is Baizhu's reality, every single day, and if he has his way, for the rest of time.

This is not okay.

What truly frightens me about Baizhu, is how.... empty he feels. He is kind, gentle, nurturing, and a bit flamboyant and mischievous at times, but he has essentially no personality traits or life outside of "being a doctor". All of his voicelines involve him giving health advice, or looking after us or others, or discussing the troubles he encounters in the medical field, or his hobbies, which involve... making medicine. While there's nothing wrong per se with a doctor truly enjoying their job — it's what makes Baizhu such a good caretaker, after all — their life and personality never revolves entirely around that. People have their own lives outside of their professions, that don't involve said professions, even the most enthusiastic and genuine of workers. But Baizhu..... doesn't have anything else. For Baizhu, being a doctor is all that he is.

Nothing is more subtly chilling than this joke Changsheng makes (that gets reinforced by Paimon later), where she calls Baizhu her "mannequin" — and especially the way that Baizhu doesn't comment on it at all, merely continuing to look like a guilty child getting scolded for being reckless. Because a mannequin is an eerily accurate description of Baizhu: he is not a person of his own, but merely a vessel for her power. "Baizhu" does not exist outside of his role as a healer; he has no other life, no other aspirations, no other joys and things to care about, nothing. Even though he's a pillar in Liyue Harbor that is beloved by the community, especially by the children, he's also in a sense practically a ghost: he is never seen outside of taking care of people in some way, because he never lets anyone see him at his sickest, and he has no sense of self outside of that role as a doctor. He is distanced from everyone, almost as though he was already immortal.... he could die at any time, frighteningly easily, and to him, no one would notice or care. As depressing as it is, even Qiqi, a literal zombie, is more alive and has a much more fulfilling life at this point than Baizhu does.

Many of Baizhu's voicelines are dripping with casual self-deprecation, and others with extreme hypocrisy, where he will express frustration and disappointment at others not being diligent in taking care of themselves, completely oblivious to his own extreme levels of self-harm and self-sacrifice. Of course, as mentioned earlier, feelings of inadequacy and being a burden are tragically not unusual for someone with significant health problems, but it goes far, far beyond this for Baizhu, before he was ever ill — all the way back to his childhood. Baizhu's hometown was struck by a plague when he was young, from which he was seemingly one of the only survivors, and his obsession with wanting to save each and every life he comes across that needs saving, no matter the cost to himself, is likely born from the trauma and extreme survivor's guilt that the event instilled in him. It was during this plague that he encountered his former master, and in training under and being influenced by him, he adopted these harmful mentalities (through no fault of his or his master, to be clear), without ever being given any other way to cope with his pain, other than to do everything in his power to never let anyone else die ever again.

Again, Yanfei sums it up best.

The true tragedy of Baizhu is that, although he wholeheartedly agrees with his late master's sentiment, and truly believes that he himself is headed down a different path from his predecessors, at the end of the day, he is no different from them, nor is his chosen path any different from theirs. As he states, those with the most altruistic and purest of hearts are the ones seduced by the contract, and he, too, has fallen victim to Changsheng's siren song: the allure of reaching beyond human means to prevent death. He believes he has found the solution to the conundrum of saving both the world at large and the one doing the saving, but he's merely fallen into the trap just like all the others: even if he doesn't die, he is still sacrificing himself, cursing himself to a fate unimaginably worse than death itself. After all, as he says, the contract can't erase pain from the world entirely, but merely transfer it from one place to another, and Baizhu is living proof of that. If his master could see what he's doing, he most definitely would be heartbroken at the "answer" Baizhu has found, because a life isn't saved if it's merely surviving, and not living.

All of this began from Baizhu, selfless and benevolent as he is, wishing to save a snake. Changsheng is a dear friend, a being so closely intertwined with his very soul, and his closest connection to his late master, and yet she is also the very thing that's killing him, and will inevitably be his doom, in whichever way that comes. Baizhu being who he is means he will never abandon her, and Changsheng will never leave him as well, her worry over the fate of her host overwhelmed by her fear of death and her desire to live on, which is how the contract has persisted for six generations. It is a toxic bond, and yet their care for each other is too great, both parties accepting the misery that awaits them. Changsheng knows that any of the cycles could be her last, but cannot help but seek out new ones in order to continue living — and Baizhu intends to make that "last" be a reality, by living forever, to make sure that Changsheng will also never die, but also that no one else can take on the contract after him. He wants his cake and to eat it too, wishing to save anyone and everyone — and he fully believes that he can. He believes that he is headed towards the light of the moon, escaping the flames of the sun.

But the moon is still ever-so-far away regardless. Perhaps even impossible to reach, if Teyvat's sky truly is fake. No matter where he aims, even if he isn't burned, Baizhu is destined to fall eventually, if he keeps going the way he is. Many people have tried to warn him, to convince him that immortality isn't what he deserves, to convince him of how much he's loved... but Baizhu is too stubborn; too, ironically, selfish in his selflessness. He insists he has everything under control, that he won't let himself die... but how can anyone believe that, when all the signs suggest that he's already on death's door? And even if he does get his wish, and be granted immortality, will he truly be content like he thinks he will, endlessly suffering with only Changsheng by his side?

I don't think the writers ever intended to glorify Baizhu's actions, or at least, I don't think it occurred to them that it could be read in that way. I do still mean it when I say he is one of the best-written characters in the game, because there is so much care given to him in his story quest and to his lore, even if, frustratingly and tragically, Hoyoverse as a whole doesn't seem to care about him at all. He's so fun to play as, and in isolation, it makes me very happy to have a canonically disabled playable character. But I'm also so, so haunted by him, and I think more people would be as well, if the game didn't gloss over the incredibly bleak reality of Baizhu and his symptoms due to the overall lighthearted tone of Genshin. I desperately need to see where they're going to take his arc, if they intend to at all, because there is so much potential for it, and right now it's very much up in the air. I don't want him to die, as I fear he's close to, but I need him to heal, and finally learn that he's done enough, and that he can finally, finally, stop. Stop torturing himself, and finally accept for himself all the love he's given others for so long now, and live. I want Baizhu to live more than anything, and not the way he is now, nor as a cursed immortal. I want him to live, and thrive, and truly, unapologetically, be himself (whoever that "Baizhu" is), and be happy.

He already has someone worth living for, right here, aside from Changsheng. He has a daughter, a family, who love him, not to mention an entire city, and and I dearly wish he could realize that. I wish he could know how comforting he is to me and so many others, and how important he is to us, not because of what he can do, but because of his beautiful heart. 💔

Happy Birthday, Baizhu. Thank you for being such an incredible healer on my team, and I hope we'll see you in Chenyu Vale one day :')💚

#genshin impact #baizhu #meta #posting this so late at night but I WANTED TO MAKE IT FOR BAIZHU'S BIRTHDAY #FML FOR BEING SO LATE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #this man ruins me 👍 please everyone cry over him and have an existential crisis over him like i do daily #he is Not Okay #and i need him to be #hoyoverse when will you do him justice like he deserves!!!! when is his comeback!!! aughhh!!!!!!!!

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the-whumpening · 1 month

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Re: sickfics and recovery

Having lived with chronic pain for around a decade now, I can safely say that the worst part of being bedboud/housebound or stuck at home recovering for months isn't actually the pain itself. Like, it's bad--don't get me wrong! It makes you want to tear your hair out and punch walls and cry at the unfairness and helplessness of it all, but it's arguably not the absolute worst part.

The worst? Boredom.

You'd think that like, being at home, you can watch TV or play games or engage in your hobbies. You can nap and take life at a leisurely pace. Nah, doesn't work like that.

Humans need stimulation--even my autistic same-thing-loving ass gets tired of my Same Thing after a while. You run out of stuff to watch, games to play, books to read. That's assuming of course that your illness/disability doesn't directly prevent you from enjoying those activities.

Can't use your hands well? No crafts, no video games, no typing or scrolling. And if you're stuck in bed too, all that leaves is screen-based activities.

Need to avoid screens or eye strain bc of migraines? Too bad, that cuts out most entertainment options. Hope audio doesn't trigger your symptoms too!

It's just so, so incredibly boring and lonely. Everyone else in my house works, so I'm home alone nearly all day, every day. I can talk to my few friends online, if my hands and eyes and foggy brain can handle it, but most days it's just me and the cat (who wants to play but I just can't physically do it).

What do you do when you can't look at screens or use your hands? Sleep, if you're able. Talk to your housemates when they're around. Cuddle with the cat. Suffer through symptoms because you're so goddamm bored you'll take a headache over six more hours of nothing.

And the world keeps going. Laundry has to get done. Dishes need washing. Cat has to get fed. Throw the string toy even though it hurts your shoulder, unload three plates, put away your t-shirts. It's not leisurely, it's trading a modicum of comfort to stave off boredom for just a few minutes.

(I know there's a whole discourse about tagging whump and the disabled community in the same post, but this is about both. It's about me sharing a deeply personal experience for the benefit of both communities, of which I am a member. There's a lot of crossover between our communities, and I'm old (for tumblr). I've put in my time to learn the nuance.)

#whumpblr #whump writing #whump #whump community #writeblr #chronic pain #disability #disabled #disabled whump #recovery whump #sickfic #hurt/comfort #im too damn old for Discourse #not whump

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 1 year

Note

The Glitchy Red brainrot is real rn not gonna lie. Could we get something where reader somehow obtains Red’s cartridge and tries their hardest to befriend him? Like maybe Red’s very untrusting at first but slowly starts warming up to them.

When you obtained a copy of Pokémon Red, you weren’t expecting the MC to be both self-aware and extremely arrogant.

He refused to move outside his home no matter what you did, the text box telling you things like “no” and “not going out there” and “I’m sick of it”.

You wondered out loud what hurt him (in a joking way like, “damn who hurt you”), surprised to see him actually respond.

“It’s all of you players. You come back for “nostalgia”, thinking it’s funny to break this game even more. But none of you know how much I suffer for it....not that you care or anything...” The text speed is slow, ensuring you saw every word he was speaking.

You immediately feel bad, telling Glitchy you’re not trying to mess with the game or exploit glitches. You just wanted to enjoy the original story.

Still, he doesn’t trust you and tells you to destroy the game itself.

“What? I can’t do that. Won’t it kill you?”

“...it’s better than suffering in this hell.”

“But..it feels wrong,” you frown. “Knowing you’re alive and..all that. I know other people have hurt you before, but I’m sure we can figure out something-”

“Don’t pity me. Don’t give me that “I’m not like the others” crap. To you, all I’ll ever be is a stupid video game character. I’m sick of wasting my time with you, goodbye-”

“Red, I’m not pitying you. I believe you’re real, and destroying the game would..feel like murder. Just let me convince you that I’m on your side.”

“........”

“Please.”

“...fine.” He begrudgingly agrees, but only bc deep in his hateful heart he wants to believe you.

Thus he lets you play the game like normal--or as normally as you could given how corrupt the world is at this point. It’s not the same but still nostalgic nevertheless.

Sometimes he goes on tangents about how he hated being “demoted” and “replaced” (plus the pain of knowing events are scripted...so it feels like nothing he does matters in the end), thinking he’s better off being a forgotten memory.

“I’m merely a prisoner who’s been given the ILLUSION of choice...”

“I don’t think they’re all illusions, Red. You’ve had choices of your own to make.”

“Did I...?”

“Maybe not in-game choices, but you chose to talk to me.” You pointed out. “You could’ve sabotaged the game whenever, but you let me enjoy the story and keep you company throughout it. Those choices came from your heart, and not some ridiculous code. I think those are the ones that matter most..which means you do matter.”

He’s silent for a long time, his sprite staring at you. Had things in the background not been moving as normal, you would’ve thought the game froze.

Maybe he thought your words were too cheesy.

But then....

“......that’s actually comforting to hear. Thanks...”

“=)”

You just smile at the screen.

At least he was finally warming up to you.

#clanask #anonymous #pokepasta x reader #glitchy red #glitchy red x reader #headcanons #platonic

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lakemojave · 3 months

Text

I feel so bad that I didn't actually play resident evil 6 for my project last year. I based a lot of my opinions about it based off how wild its narrative content was and secondhand accounts about its gameplay. It's very easy to say "it's bad" just by looking at it, but playing the game itself reveals much deeper, more fundamental flaws that you don't get just watching a video essay or let's play.

Resident Evil 6 is attempting to be so many kinds of games at once, so it's actually so many kinds of bad at once. The first ten or fifteen minutes of the game are a slow crawl through dark corridors and university ballrooms; there are no enemies, just a series of tutorializing sections and thin attempts at building a tense atmosphere. It's extremely slow and dreadfully boring, which is crazy because all of this happens within seconds after shooting your best friend, the zombified president of the united states like a rabid dog.

It moves to a city in the midst of the first wave of a zombie outbreak, then a cathedral filled with traps, then a secret lab, then like three layers of medieval dungeon. The tone and genre intention of this section varies wildly, but it seems to be a repeat of the spare parts of Residents Evil one through four: first the abandoned opulent structure, then the burning city, then the gothic architecture complete with spike traps. The city section is actually really good because at this point there had been no reimagining of the Raccoon City destruction in a modern console, so the level of chaos and manic destruction at play with the return of more classic zombies to the series is extremely refreshing and fun. Then the cathedral happens and, after a pretty boring cemetery maze, there's a really good sequence of co op puzzles that harkens back to classic Resident Evil design. It's a good series of levels--the problem is that it's derivative.

It's not just derivative of it's own series, actually. For all the references to past games, Resident Evil 6 is assembled mostly from the spare parts of other popular action games from the 2010s. There's lots more mobility mechanics, way less ammo scarcity, absolute heaps of weak zombies, cover mechanics, swimming sections, and quick time event after quick time event. Combined with the artificial widescreen black bars, it's riffing off of Uncharted, Gears of War, and David Cage style design so closely. So many of the dungeon props and layouts look almost exactly like levels from Dark Souls or Skyrim, and when we get to Chris' campaign the tone is almost indistinguishable from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. Is there an aspect of game design that was popular in the 2010s, or even just happened to appear in games that were popular in the 2010s? That mechanic is absolutely in Resident Evil 6.

When RE6 has an original idea, it is so patently ridiculous and unhinged that my immersion is immediately shattered and I can't possibly take the game seriously. When RE6 is borrowing an idea, it is so bland and anonymous that my immersion isn't given the respect it needs to form whatsoever. RE6 fluctuates between these two moods so repeatedly and with so little warning that experiencing the game first hand is like going to a haunted house and, instead of actually getting the proper experience, a guy in a room just beats the shit out of you. Is it scary? Technically it is, but not in the way I wanted, not in the way I enjoyed, and the experience was so painful that I could barely process what was happening.

Like all bad horror movies, if you're gonna experience Resident Evil 6 at all, I insist you do it with a friend. That is the only way to salvage the experience--to suffer with someone else.

#resident evil #re6

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tootiecakes234 · 6 months

Text

Shoto Todoroki Comfort

(Reupload)

Warnings: none. Just fluffy friendship

Today had been one of those days, where if it could go wrong it went wrong.

You woke up late for class, and the reason for that being you didn’t charge your phone last night. So not only are you late for class, but now you have no phone to text or call anyone .

You eventually do make it and you start to think the worst is over. That is, until you get to your next class and you have a pop quiz over material you don’t even remember covering.

You make it to lunch and realize, you forgot your lunch that you packed as well as your debit card in the rush of leaving that morning.

At this point if anything else happens you were gonna give up!

So of course something else happens! In what world would the universe let you have a win today. You start cramping. Signs of Mother Nature about to make her grand entrance!

That’s it, that’s when the first few tears fall. It was all too much and everything felt like it was coming down on you at once. You were frustrated, hungry, and cramping. The worst combination in history.

Your initial response was to go home and bury yourself in your bed, but your feet took you elsewhere. Before you knew it, you were at you best friend, Shoto’s place’ knocking on the door. You didn’t actually want to be alone right now.

When he came to the door a wave of relief washed over you just laying eyes on him.

“ Hi."

"Hi."

He steps aside and lets you in. This is your second home. You and Shota had gotten so close these last few months and you were over constantly.

You go straight to his bathroom, raid his medicine cabinet for painkillers and then climb into his bed, bundling yourself in his blankets. He sits down on the edge of his bed and picks up the controller he was previously using to play his video game.

Shoto is not the person to pick up on your emotional state or social cues, so he doesn't even realize you're upset.

" How was class?"

" Shitty. This entire day had been shitty. I feel like death!"

He paused his game and turned around to look at you.

"What happened?"

You explain the day from hell that you've had and near the end he turns around and starts pecking at his phone.

" Oh, is my pain and suffering boring you?? im sorry I bothered you with my troublesome woes."

" Huh? Oh, Sorry.... Apparently when someone is feeling overwhelmed, physical touch can help them feel grounded."

You looked at him a little baffled.

" Is that what you were looking up on your phone just now?"

He gets up and starts climbing in on the other side of the bed.

"Mhmm."

He doesn't say anything else. He just situates himself next to you and wraps his arm around your balled up form.

" Shoto..... are you.... trying to.... cuddle....me??"

" Yes. Is it working?"

That gets a nice, long, hardy laugh out of you. You laugh until tears start falling, and once they start, they don't stop. The dam you had built to hold everything back that day started to break.

" Am I hurting you? Why are you crying? Do you want me to let you go?"

His voice sounded so worried now. He never knew what to do when you cried around him.

" No. please. Can we stay like this f-for a w-while?"

" Ok."

You snuggle in closer to him, and let your tears soak his shirt. He doesn't complain. Just holds you while you get it all out.

Sho realizes that you're running a little cold, and he knows he keeps his room a little chilly. He starts to use him hot side to warm you up a bit. You shiver from the amazing warmth spreading over you.

"Thank you, you're the best friend anyone could ask for."

That's the last thing you remember before you fall asleep. You have a sound dreamless nap. When you wake up, you're still burrowed in Shoto's chest. You look up and see his calm sleeping face. He'd fallen asleep holding you.

You stayed just like this for as long as you could, soaking up the affection. It was great until your stomach started screaming at you. You still hadn't eaten. When you try and gently remove yourself a blue eye pops open and look at you.

Damn, it was worth a shot.

Before you can even respond, your stomach growls loud enough for him to hear.

" Do you wanna go get soba?" He says all with his voice all groggy from sleep.

" Yes please.... Thank you for being there for me Shoto. I really needed that. I feel a lot better now."

" Good, Im glad. Google comes through once again."

You both chuckle at that. Shoto might not be the best with emotions, but he always finds a way to make you feel better.

This is my first time writing for Todoroki and I honestly hope did him justice. I wanted to write for someone different.

Thanks for the prompt @blablabla0-0

#mha fanfiction #shoto todoroki #shoto x reader #mha fluff #mha scenarios #fluff #best friends

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melanieph321 · 3 months

Text

Pedri x Black Reader - Our Secret Part 10/10

I loved it. The process was beyond fun 😊😊

Thank u to all the Pedri fandoms that were very welcoming of me. All the love to you ❤️

And credit to whoever made this gif

The story of Marcella and Pedri. As students of the most prestigious high schools in the country, the two are very focused on developimg their indvidual talents. Marcella has music whilst Pedri has football. However, worlds collide when Pedri's secret is revealed, he has diabetes.

Enjoy!

Marcella came down the stairs for breakfast. Her parents looked up from whatever they were doing, both in disbelief of seeing their daughter finally leave her bedroom. There wasn't much said, nor did much need to be said. Her mother pulled out a chair for Marcella to sit, whilst her dad fixed her something to eat, serving it on a plate.

"Are you going back to school?" They asked, with hope in their eyes.

Marcella shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, mía." Her dad stretched out a hand to stroke her cheek, "No need to apologize. You'll return to school whenever you are ready."

The thing is, Marcella had been ready. She spent two nights crying herself to sleep after her breakup with Pedri. But those two nights had been enough. She had wiped her tears and decided to understand rather than to just feel. She wanted to understand Pedri rather than cry over his hurtful words, that perhaps had more to them. But as she arrived to the school's football stadium, Marcella realized that it was too late to understand. Her dad had driven her to the game just in time for the second half. She had watched Pedri play, hoping that whatever was bothering him would end after what seemed to be a stressful day for him. "He's got clubs coming to see him from all over the country." Her dad had informed. No wonder Pedri had been so on edge that week. The leaking of his video certainly hadn't helped. Nevertheless it had been too late for Marcella to apologize. Like the rest of the crowd, she had watched Pedri's body fall lifeless to the ground. The silence that followed was pure horror, and no one seemed to know what to do, mainly because not alot of people knew of Pedri's condition.

"He's got diabetes!" Marcella remebers herself gasp. She was squeezing her dad's arm to the point of him groaning in pain. "He needs to get to the hospital, please papa we need to help him!"

Marcella was ready to jump out of her seat and storm the pitch, luckily someone else had thought the same. Pedri's brother, Fernando, was seen clearing players to get to his little brother. The crowd gasped with the drama unfolding. Fernando ran up to Pedri, picked him up from the ground and simply ran out of the stadium with his brothers lifeless body in his arms. It wasn't until later that Marcella got the news that Pedri was in hospital, in a stable condition, however, suffering a ketoacidosis coma, which he had yet awaken from.

There was a hectic knock on the door.

"The mailman." Her dad sighed and rose from the table. Turmoil followed in the hallway, with her dad heard shouting, "Oye, no shoes in the house!"

"Gavi?"

Marcella's eyes widened as he stumbled into the room. It was a flashback to the past, when he used to come over everyday, asking her to come out and play. Back then the two had been friends, best friends even.

"He's awake." Gavi said, his chest rising up and down following the sprint he had made from his house to Marcella's.

"W...what?"

The base of his throat moved when he swallowed. "Pedri. H...he's awake, asking for you."

********************************************

Pedri had been staring at the ceiling for a while, just breathing. He was too weak too really move but his brother made sure to angle his bed so that the tv in his hospital room was always in his sight.

"Barça is loosing." Fernando informed, smiling at the fact.

Pedri looked down from the ceiling, amused that his brother was amused. He sighed, hands tucked behind his neck. "They'll come around, they always do."

"In less than ten minutes?" Fernando snorted." I don't think so. Atletico Madrid's defense is too good."

It was nice. Pedri's brother had stayed with him in the hospital since he arrived. He was the first face he saw when he came out of his coma. The sense of peace it had brought him was of no other. Whatever baggage they once had was simply left in the past.

"They were watching you, you know?" Fernando said, whilst failing to turn his attention away from the game.

"Who?"

"FC Barcelona. Their scouts were in the crowd during the game. They even sent somone over to the house when you were at school."

Pedri rasied his brows in disbelief.

"Mom and Dad told me not to tell you since we all know how you get when you've got.....alot going on."

"I did eat." Pedri mumbled. "And take my shots."

"Yeah, but even I knew that you shouldn't have been out there for that long. You should have listened to your coach when he told you to come off the pitch."

"Barça would want someone who can play a full ninety minutes. They wouldn't want someone like me, someone who's....sick."

Fernando looked to his brother. "You never know. " He shrugged.

"He's in here."

People emerged in the door. A nurse, followed by Gavi and...

"Marcella."

"Señor Gonzalez, please." The nurse gestured for Pedri to remain lying down as he looked to want to get up.

"It's okay." Said Marcella, who entered the room behind Gavi. They brought chocolate and other treats, however, the room was getting crowded, the nurse looking agitated by the fact.

"I'll get some coffee." Fernando said, rising to his feet. "I'll be right back." He winked, slipping out of the room. Pedri Gavi and Marcella waited for the nurse to attach more fluid to Pedri's arm before any of them spoke. She left the room reminding them about visiting hours ending soon.

Gavi stepped back. "I'll give you two space if you want to talk things out."

"No, stay." Pedri protested.

Gavi looked to Marcella who nodded agreeingly. He took a seat, with the football match between Barça and Atletico still ongoing in the background.

"Marcella I'm..."

"No Pedri I'm....."

They both looked equally miserable.

"The things I said...." Pedri scooted higher up in bed, revealing more of his very thin hospital gown. "I didn't mean it, not any of it."

Marcella nodded understandingly, anxiously clenching the box of chocolate that she held in her hands.

"You were right though, to say what you said. I guess I do care about people think of me. I shouldn't, but I know I do."

"Pedri I...." Her gaze fell to the floor. "Recording you when you were singing...." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have done it. I should never have..."

"I did it!"

Pedri and Marcella fell quiet as Gavi stood. He was pale and trembling all over.

"Technically it was Rosie who leaked the video, but I switch Marcella's phone with mine so that Rosie could go through it and find the video."

"You did what?"

Gavi stepped back, frightened by Marcella's narrowed gaze. "It....it was a mistake."

"You're a mistake Gavi. How could you do that to me."

"I...I know..." His head bowed in shame. "I wasn't thinking and then you and Pedri....you know."

Pedri looked to his friend, not quite angry what he had done, at least not as angry about it as Marcella.

"I didn't think it would lead to you guys breaking up. I realized my mistake once you did."

"It's okay" Pedri nodded.

"No it's not." Marcella objected. She put down the box of chocolates and looked ready to square up with Pedri right there and then. "What have I ever done to you, huh?"

"Nothing." Gavi mumbled.

"Why do you hate me so much Pablo Gavi?"

"I don't hate you Marcella, I've never done so. It's just that..."

"Just what?" She asked, no patient for any excuses.

"Two years ago. When we both got accepted to Estudios Filántropos, I thought great, I'll have a friend. But then I started playing football and you did your thing at the music program."

"Yes, so what?" She scuffed.

It was difficult for Gavi to get the words out, Pedri could tell. "Well you seemed to have find your corner at the school so fast, whilst I was struggling to fit into the team. I did everything I could for my teammates to accept me, some things I regret. Either way, nothing worked. And during the days that we used to bike home together I got really tired of hearing how great things were going for you. I was...I was..."

"Jealous?" She frowned

"And angry that you didn't care about me and the fact that I was struggling. The fact that I needed....my friend."

"Oh Gavi."

Pedri watched their interaction with a smile on his face. They were the two most important people in his life. Having both of them by his side brought newfound strength.

"Gavi, I didn't forget about you. I never wanted to lose you as a friend. If you would've have told me that you were struggling..."

"I know, I know..." He nodded. "But I'm telling you now, aren't I?"

"That you're struggling?" She frowned.

"No."

"Then what?"

He mumbled somthing under hus breath.

"Yeah, there's no way I can interpret what you just said."

Gavi rolled his eyes. "I said." He announced, more base in his voice. "I wanna be friends...again."

Marcella's shoulders fell. "You do?"

Gavi shrugged. "If you want to."

She let the thought linger. Negotiating the pros and cons in her head. "Fine." She muttered, stretching out a hand for Gavi to shake. "Friends?"

Gavi smiled, nodding his head as the two shook hands, not holding onto each other longer then what was necessary. There was commotion happening behind then, something unfolding on the TV. Pedri tilted his head, tuning into the game. Just then he saw Ivan Rakitić going for it, for the....

"GOAAAAAAL!"

Marcella jumped in fear as Pedri and Gavi shouted victoriously.

"What happened?" Fernando poked his head through the door, almost spilling his coffee on the way in.

"Goal, goal, goal!!!" The boys celebrated. The nurses and doctors outside were seen looking anxiously amongst themselves, Pedri however was as happy as he had ever been.

"What? But how?" Fernando, in disbelief, looked for reason. Pedri shrugged his shoulders and said. "You never know." From now on those were the words he promised to live by. The future was unknown, but with good people around, people that he loved, everything was possible.

The End

#fanfiction #football imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst #fc barça #fc barcelona #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri #pedri x black reader #pedri gonzalez #pablo gavi imagine #gavi imagine #pablo gavi #gavi #pedri/gavi

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catonator · 3 months

Text

Funny heading to a blogpost on videogames that’s some sort of reference

Look, I already used the ctrl+alt+delete quote in a blogpost title. It’s February 2024, and it’s already a very wild year for gaming. We’ve had more layoffs than with the entirety of 2023, games shown off at events seem to be stagnating, interest in the art is waning. Youtube is filled with “modern gaming sucks” doomer blackpill videos. It’s a miserable time.

Is gaming just over?

Well, no. Of course not. The Sonic franchise has lingered for decades despite consistent failure. Games are more resilient than that.

Humanity’s relation to computing is still pretty fresh, and I’d say that despite the size and scale of a lot of it, we’re still going through major growing pains. Concepts like video games, the internet and special effects are still pretty new, despite being around for twice or thrice as long as most of the people reading this have been alive. Internal combustion engine -powered cars were invented in 1808, made mass produced in the 1910s, and even then it took until the 1950s for them to be common enough for the US government to bother designing cities around them. In the present day, many have come to resent the car-centric design mentality, even though the driving (no pun intended) factor behind them was mainly the same as with technology today: scientific and technological progression is unquestionably good, and therefore new and successful ideas should be pushed and relied upon as hard as possible. What could possibly go wrong?!

Video games are far from the only medium which is seeing similar problems. Movies have suffered greatly from a capeshit infestation, in which the abuse of VFX artists is valued over, you know, basics of good filmmaking, and the general public is clearly sick of it. On the internet, we’ve decided that megastructures like Twitter are better than forms of communication we’re good at, and it’s gone horribly wrong. We’re still learning the “do”s, “don’t”s and “who the fuck thought this was a good idea”s of tech.

Games as an artform are as alive as they ever were, but the sheer scale of the operations has grown to a point where nobody can really understand it. The numbers behind playerbases and the money traffic have so many zeroes that you can’t even fathom the number. Even if I used some metaphorical figure, like 20 000 cars. Shockingly, despite how console sales haven’t really increased in numbers (the top selling console of all time is still the PS2), most of the top-grossing games of all time are relatively recent. This implies that the behaviour of consumers has shifted from purchasing a variety of different kinds of games into purchasing fewer games of fewer different kinds. And I don’t think it’s a case of customers deciding to shift over naturally.

In the past decade or so, the gaming industry has decided sensible experiences are a way of the past, and the future is making games for debt and making back the money with horse armour and other garbage the general public doesn’t really want.

But we’ve seen this shit before. In the 90s, 3D was “the future”, and 2D pixel art or hand-drawn art in general seemed to go the way of the dodo for polygons and ““realism””. About a decade later, 2D art would see a resurgence and in some cases overtake the big lads in lasting impact. In the end, people crave personal stories, varying ideas, and interesting ways to tell them. Not much has changed since ancient Greeks, besides that the medium of storytelling has largely shifted from some guy standing on a stage, trying to explain another world, to electronic devices actually showing us the other worlds.

I think as we play out the Icarus stories in real time, we’ll also learn when boundaries are pushed too far, and the scale of the bullshit simply collapses in on itself. When that happens, the public is forced to step back and reevaluate the ways we thought were the future, and what really is better for all of us.

When a storm flattens a forest of dead, decrepit trees, the sun and rain can now reach the ground and cultivate a new generation of different plant life. Once hidden beneath the dead corpses, now able to grow and bloom in a way the old generation never could. You should just keep doing what you think is right. Now’s the time more than ever to be the backbone of a better industry, for many applications of tech, from games to communication. And it’s better, if the backbone comes from the grassroots, and isn’t defined by the megacorporations. Because those cunts will never learn from their failures.

#monthly blog #“montly” blog #video games #gamedev

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