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fumifooms · 3 months

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Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human

Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?

Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.

Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.

So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world.

Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.

“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon

It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many, I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.

To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.

Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027

“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.

For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions.

There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!

I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.

There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.

More about autism & empathy:

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.)

^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/ For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.

I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.

Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.

Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.

And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.

Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.

And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.

So when I post this

I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly.

Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.

If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis! Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #character analysis #i guess #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #spoilers #autistic laios touden #asd #autism representation #meta #draft so old it uses the old Tumblr post editor #it would be much better if i could put them side to side rip #i also wanna do an analysis trying to pin down his level of social awareness #i love that the monster story epic saga about misfits and your place in the world on an ecosystem level is just sooo autistic so perfect #this post has a weird structure but hopefully it can showcase some things and make ppl understand and others relate! I know we're out there #hiii therians how we feeling today. Brain chemistry is weird but ours is just wired different not broken #feeling self-conscious bc even with studies this is the equivalent of going 'trust me bro I get it' which usually doesn't go well with us #Humanity is beautiful <3333 Humans are social animals broski love yourself!!!

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fearandhatred · 14 days

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i was thinking about this line from my fic:

But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.

and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through

#fearandhatred #fearandpoetry #<- check out this tag for some relatively more normal poetry #this was written at 3 am once again #i am really just out here doing anything #don't think this needs much explanation but i shall yap anyway #this is just crowley through the ages but as he discovers more about the earth he also finds more things he can compare hurt to #because in the beginning all he could compare the wind cutting into him with was the wind itself #and also abandonment. because imo that is one of the first Big Negative Emotions he ever felt besides his dreams being crushed lmaoo #but i think it's fun how this poem also implies that he's constantly thinking about how the fall hurt and how everything reminds him of it #this was also very tedious for the perfectionist in me and the proportions are STILL off #because i only drafted out the wings lmao i was not planning on including the head #then i was like wait what if people don't realise that it's wings #so that happened #and changing the proportions means changing the structure which i do not want to do #good omens #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens poetry #good omens fanart #yeah tagging this as fanart because i had to draw everything out first lmao #poetry #writing

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afraidparade · 2 months

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something i’ve been thinking lately is that i might wanna change the title for ghoststories, since “ghoststories” was never meant to be a TITLE just… a tag. lufa was easy because it’s just their ship name, but since pazu and theo aren’t a couple i think i just asked pike what the tag should be called one day and he said ghoststories, so. it’s been that ever since.

it serves its purpose as a tag but it’s kinda generic and not super relevant i guess? now that i’m finally able to develop the lore that pike and i have been cooking for actual years, and now that a sudden influx of people have been legitimately interested in that story (something i still can’t wrap my head around lol), i don’t really want it to be called “ghoststories” when it’s brought up anymore. all that is a very wordy way to say there’s a chance i may be changing that and redoing a lot of tags whenever i have time, and also that i am open to suggestions if you have them :-)

#the chances of me making it an ACTUAL comic are very slim #but i have started drafting more structured mini comics for important plot points #and eventually i’d like to do one of their first meeting #AGAIN all that’s to say i want a catchier title to go along with those comics #ramblings #and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the recent interest in those ocs i love them dearly (except pazu)

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angeltannis · 9 months

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The fact that Symmetra’s seemingly only childhood friend was a boy she fundamentally disagreed with everything about and disliked pretty much everything that he stood for - and that it was exactly the same for him - is so so so funny to me. Unlikeable neurodivergent bitches gotta stick together

#overwatch #lifeweaver #Symmetra #Niran with his undiagnosed ADHD: there is NOTHING I hate more than rigid structure and order and rules #kid Symmetra: ohhh I can’t not befriend him #and in reverse ofc Satya like i wish I could live in a beautiful dream world where everything is made from-#-the same generic futuristic architecture and that one corporation owned it all 🙏#and Niran who’s still treating the poison ivy in his nethers bc he slept in the woods again is like omg .. did we just become besties #I’m serious when I say this this is the best lore related thing Overwatch has done in years. maybe ever #I just love that they gave Sym a friend like LW. absolute MESS of a man who absolutely adores her #this was supposed to go on my side blog but I drafted it to main by accident and I’m not rewriting all these tags #so Overwatch text post be upon ye

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snapcracklepop-myjoints · 1 year

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Brain fog is so fucking annoying I just spent 30 minutes trying to remember words well enough to write a shitpost which takes all the fun out of it ??? Now it’s just a Fuckin. Constipationpost :/

#my shitpost eventually got put into drafts #where I will inevitably forget about it #but it’s a really funny joke ! I just couldn’t make sentence structure happen and by the time my brain started working more I had already…#…hit that point where I overthought something too much and I can’t go back :(#disablity #brain fog #chronic illness

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bettsfic · 8 months

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hi beth! i've got a fic that i've been struggling with for some time, and i think i could feasibly it scrap for parts and come out with a few smaller and (more likely to be finished) oneshots. i loved your advice that nothing is wasted when writing and not to be precious about ideas/words, so do you have any advice on whether it's the right idea to scrap a fic, and if so, how to do it?

i think if you're considering scrapping a fic for parts, it's worth it to try, just to see if you like the result better than what you already have. you really have nothing to lose, you know? either you'll get some good one-shots out of it or you'll get some new insight into the form you've already chosen.

one of the hardest skills to develop in writing is being able to feel and acknowledge when a story is working and when it's not. it's so amorphous and clouded by either doubt or enthusiasm, and you never know for sure until you get to the end.

going back to my knitting analogy, it's the point at which you realize the sweater you're knitting is not going to fit its recipient. so do you undo the whole thing and start over? use the yarn for socks to give to multiple people? or do you find someone slightly smaller to give it to, knowing you'll be a little disappointed in yourself for not doing what you set out to do?

i think the activity i'm about to lay out is good to do not just in this situation but also any time you feel very lost about a big project that you've been working on for a while. i've done it many times and i hope it helps you as much as it has me.

step one: go through the piece and highlight all the parts you like. this can be anything from entire chapters to maybe just a single sentence. these are parts that make you go "yeah this is working" or that you're particularly proud of. your darlings, if you will.

optional: in a different color, you can do this also for the parts you really don't like, that you'd be embarrassed to show someone else. what's left un-highlighted is what you feel neutral about.

step two: either zoom very far out on the document or do a multi-page view, however you can to see as much of the work as possible at once. notice the ratio of highlighted to un-highlighted text.

step three: brainstorm. i have to do this part with pen and paper, but however you get your big-picture ideas down is fine. at this point you haven't made any major decisions yet. it's just an experiment. IF you were to scrap a story for parts, what would it look like? and so you can start writing down your one-shot ideas.

at this point, you should have a better idea about how you want to proceed. maybe the highlighting activity brought to light the fact that there are really only a few spots you don't like and maybe you can rewrite or cut those; or maybe you have an idea for some restructuring. or you really like the one-shot ideas you've written and want to start the first one.

it's important to remember that there's really no loss here. you can write the one-shots, post them, and then come back to the longer version of the fic maybe years later and finish it. it's fanfiction; your audience will not complain about overlapping parts of stories. they'll just be happy to have more to read.

so if you've decided to play around with the one-shots, here's how i've done it in the past.

step four: open a new document. i call this document the stitch draft. the stitch draft is used for situations like this, but also for major structural edits. you need a bridge between the old draft and the new one. the sole purpose of this draft is to copy and paste over the parts you've already written that you want to keep for your first one-shot, in roughly the order you want them in.

step five: open another new document. put it side by side with the stitch draft. start writing the one-shot by bringing in the work from the stitch draft while also writing the connective tissue of the new context of the story. this may involve editing the stitch draft elements at the same time to make them relevant to your new story.

the stitch draft method has never really steered me wrong. in fact when you're very stuck i think highlighting and moving stuff to a new document is a way to help inspire new ideas, simply because you're fiddling with the text and getting out of your own head about it.

#writing advice #revision #structure #stitch draft

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kipandkandicore · 11 months

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“but the theory of structural dissociation is just a theory!”

you know what else is a theory?

the theory of relativity

the theory of evolution

germ theory of disease

the theory of plate tectonics

the modern atomic theory

cell theory

just because something is a scientific theory does not mean it can be or has been easily disproven. in fact, in order for a concept to become a theory there must be ample evidence to back and support the claim!

so let’s please stop discrediting the tosd because it’s “only a theory.” theories help us explain and understand the world around us. and theories require tons of scientific evidence before they can even call themselves that.

there’s a reason why it’s not called “the concept of structural dissociation” or “the hypothesis of structural dissociation.” there is ample research to prove that structural dissociation can and does happen in those with complex dissociative disorders who experienced chronic traumatization.

if you don’t understand the tosd, that’s okay! it’s a complex and difficult topic that may take some research in order to learn more about. thankfully, we’ve done some research, and we’re more than happy to link some of the resources we’ve found in our studies.

ctad clinic’s video on structural dissociation

trauma-related structural dissociation of the personality

phase-oriented treatment of structural dissociation in complex traumatization

the haunted self: structural dissociation and the treatment of chronic traumatization

the treatment of structural dissociation in chronically traumatized patients

understanding treatments for structural dissociation

trauma informed stabilisation treatment for structural dissociation

(note about these sources: some of them may not be accessible if you’re not a part of an institution! we were able to access some using 12ft.io and others using our friend’s university login credentials… research should be open-access to the public and for-profit journals are a scourge upon the earth!)

“but the tosd is ableist!”

we personally, as a disabled system with dissociative identity disorder, don’t find the theory ableist, and in fact, find that it has immensely benefitted us in our healing path. we can’t find any evidence of the tosd being ableist, besides a single opinion-piece by the stronghold system, with claims which have since been debunked by multiple people, including system speak.

“but onno van der hart (a researcher who worked on the tosd) is an abuser who lost his license!”

this is true, and it is deplorable! however, van der hart is just one of many who have studied and written on structural dissociation, and the book the haunted self was written by him and two other authors! just because one researcher made bad choices, committed malpractice, or abused their patients does not mean that the theory as a whole should be discredited. another author of the book, kathy steele, has been a powerhouse in dissociation and trauma research for nearly 4 decades and is still going strong!

unfortunately, those with dissociative disorders are often vulnerable, traumatized, abuse survivors, and may seem like easy prey for abusers. this can lead bad actors to be drawn towards fields of trauma and dissociation. it’s important for those who harm patients and commit malpractice to be uprooted from the medical field and banned from treating or interacting with vulnerable patients in the future! but that doesn’t mean all research they were involved in should be cast aside and ignored. peer reviewed thoroughly and critically? yes. cross-examined and compared to case studies? absolutely. tossed out because the author was a bad person? definitely not!

“but dissociative disorders are still under researched!”

yes, this is true! but that’s no excuse to get rid of or dismiss the current research and widely accepted frameworks that do exist. it’s important to ask questions and be critical of widely accepted theories, instead of accepting them at face value. at the same time, it is counterproductive and and downright harmful to tear down research that has tangible benefits and has worked in the past to help traumatized systems recover!

it is normal to be afraid of things we don’t understand. but it is necessary to push past that fear, work through those knee-jerk reactions, and do our own research to come to a better understanding of the things that may confuse us!

if y’all have any questions or would like to further discuss the theory of structural dissociation, by all means feel welcome to! but please understand we are not a mental health professional or academic researcher - we’re just a system trying to learn more about our disorder and share the knowledge we’ve picked up along the way.

#syscourse #long post #theory of structural dissociation #tosd #structural dissociation #trauma mention #abuse mention #this had been sitting in our drafts for a while but we finally decided to finish and post it

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