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ego-meliorem-esse · 7 months

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ELABORATE

If you insisttttt <3<3<3<3<3<3

i assume you are asking about the clinical breakdown by the Admiral Lord

Alfred is born in 1631, the settling of the colonies is still uncertain. Having said that, it's def more stable than in the late 1500. It took a long time for his son to be born. Lots of tries and failures. I do hc that Alfred and other countries are BORN. In the human way, to humans, to countries, it does not matter. They are spawned in a very human bloody and painful way. Alfred was born when Boston was established. He does have a mother ( i like to mix the old 2014 hcs that there was a country in that region specifically before the english but having done any kind of research will show that so many different cultures and languages and frankly ways of life existed in the now united states and then "13 colonies" that its straight up and down right unethical to have a single "Native America" representing those vast cultures. Now forgive my balkan-ness for keeping this part short but getting into his part of my hcs is not in my interest or my forte. I just like to humanise these beings, especially Alfred as much as possible) and that mother gave birth to him. Colonisation and settlement in the 1500s and 1600s is cruel, abhorrent and unspeakable to those living on these lands prior to the arrival of the english and for a while dutch. As many nations opposing the empires do, she dies in silence and solitude. Alfred is left in his father's care.

Boston is stable when Alfred first dies. The babe has weak lungs and Arthur doesn't understand. Alfred dies again a year later from the same illness. This time Arthur is aware of an outbreak of illness near the bay. The boy will strengthen and come back to him. He does but only for 2 months before he is ill again. There were difficulties in finding potable water in that part of the colony. Arthur is perplexed, this isn't the sort of thing nations fall ill for and die over. He starts to worry severely, keeping the boy physically close by and under care at all times. Just to make sure the boy, the personification, is in perfect health at all times. Maybe this way, Arthur thinks, his baby will stay with him. It seems that he was right because Alfred lives healthily for more than 2 years. He is fed, he is warm, he is happy. Alfred doesn't wake up one morning. He is still in his crib. He doesn't cry for attention. This time Arthur cries audibly yet carefully, alone in his study. Exiles, brutality and deaths of settlers seem to be the cause. His baby is in London and the order is set for the child not to set a small and wobbly foot in the colonies. His flame is extinguished not even a week later. Arthur is numb at this point. He cannot take it anymore. His guts and throat are in a state of constant clenching. He is vomiting and in pain. England is thriving, Arthur is in a state of misery.

The final straw, final death comes 4 months later with no warning and no apparent causes. Arthur is hosting his brother Rhys in the drawing room. Arthur has had enough. The nurse brings in his boy, Arthur takes his baby into his shaking arms, without a sound. His brother is aware of his nephews struggles with keeping alive. He tries to talk to Arthur, he tries to get him to say anything. Arthur does eventually speak, his voice getting more and more hoarse. Rhys takes his nephew slowly. Arthurs last straw breaks. He is on the floor, he is mourning, sobbing, sorrowing, yelling. Rhys and no one has ever seen Arthur Kirkland like this. He is weeping. Arthur finally broke down.

Part 2 maybe when I pick myself back up from the floor?

#i need to stop im gonna make myself sick #hetalia #hws england #hws america #meli speaks #ask meli #historical hetalia #my headcanons #jesus fuck i need a nap

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gn4wz-0n-b0n3z · 8 days

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CHAT IM FUCKING SCREWED.

my grandmother basically confiscated my fucking Xbox (aka last thing i have social media access on currently. i stole it back, shes def gonna be pissed if she finds out, which is most likely.) during a discord vc i was in. she doesn't like the idea of me having any social media access, which is really bold coming from her whenever i dont even get to hang out with irl friends after school because of her. (i could just allow her access to my accounts, but she and my grandfather are huge right-winger trump dickriders so i would be in danger if i let that happen.) so basically she takes the last thing i can actually talk to people outside of my household on. cool i fucking guess.

i cant do the school chromebook thing because my school made it impossible to use a personal account on them recently. just my fucking luck.

so i snuck the Xbox away now while she's smoking and watching YouTube in the garage. and you wanna know what i find out when i try to log back onto Discord because it *mysteriously* logged me out? my account was disabled. they thought i was under 13. im not.

i will likely make another account. im supposed to get a new phone in 2 weeks or so and ill try to figure out a way to get on Tumblr and Discord on there if my grandmother doesn't try to surveillance everything i do on it.

@ariesthebarry im tagging you because we're pretty good friends on Discord and you were in the VC. im fine, ive been occupying myself w/ continuing my HS readthrough via watching the Let's Read on my Roku and drawing and tidying my room since its a shitfest. im already close to act 6 and im starting to like it. im not sure when ill be able to get communication access again. i just know im supposed to get a new phone soon so maybe this situation will get better.

#matthew.txt

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gettinshiggywithit · 1 year

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!Kirishima x Artist!Reader!

Scenario:- kiri with an s/o who’s an artist!

Pairing:- kirishima x gn!reader

Type:- headcannons

I imagine you working on the couch while kiri comes back from a mission

Hes tired and waiting to see the one person he loves most but ur complete fixated on your screen

Hed just come up behind you and sorta just bury his face in the crook of ur neck from behind the couch,his arms going to wrap around you

But soon he lets go to go and clean up

If ur still working when he comes back he doesn’t disturb you but just sits on the couch beside you,simply basking in your presence

He’s 100% you’re model

Need a pose and cant find a reference??

KIRI TO THE RESCUEEE

If youre ever feeling insecure about your art too he’d completely shut down your insecurities

Not with blind positivity

But with actually good points

Telling you that you shouldn’t compare your art to others because a) your style and speed is unique to you and no one does it like you b) the best part about art is to have fun and the moment you stop overthinking it’ll be fine

Also while he can appreciate good art nothing looks better in his eyes than your art!

Other stuff just doesn’t hit him the same way urs does

Is it because he loves you and therefore your work just has the same hold on him that you do?

Or is it just that he has a great And unbiased eye for art?(yes)

I guess we’ll never know!(oh but we dooo)

Oh also a really good point that the loml( @cloudy-zephyr) brought up,

HE WOULD DEFINITELY SHUT DOWN ALL THE BITCHES THAT SAY ART ISNT A REAL JOB OR THAT ITS EASY

If anyone even insinuates that

Buddy just gets offended af

I doubt hed cause a scene just for an off handed comment but if the offender keep goin on he’d 100% step in with a forceful and passionate couner-argument

Oh also imagine like if you ever get messages on ur socials asking for free art and you’re just LOSING IT, (because honestly entitled karens and kens are genuinely tiring to deal with🤬)

Kiri will definitely just ask for your phone and then ask you to go take a nicee warm bath to calm urself

When you come back out,the entitled folk are all dealt with! (Buddy basically just killed em with kindness and the way he handled em left no room for it to be turned on you to make u look like the bad guy!)

Also i can totes imagine you teaching him how to draw🥺

He’d be such a keen and enthusiastic learner tooo😩

God Bless this man honestly!

And i def think that all around your apartment,theref be framed pictures of your art

And youve even hung up a few of his!

He thinks they dont look good enough to which you reply with the same stuff he tells you

His style and speed are unique to him and you wouldn’t change anything for the world🥰

He kisses you on the lips and spins you around at that

I WILL ONCE AGAIN SAY THIS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN EVER SAY IT TOO MUCH

THIS MANN IS A GODDAM BLESSINGG(HES LIKE TOM HIDDLESTON IN FICTION!!)

~The end

!Wait bonus point!

I feel like at some point when the rest of the bakusquad learns of your art and how great it is they all ask you for lessons and then you have like this workshop where all the pieces created in the day go to a charity project(like raise money for kids in need and stuff cos Holy Shit does celebrity art get a lot of money) or to a lil room in your home which acts as a lil gallery for all your little group art projects!!

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Tagging:- @izueli

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the mha characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but this story? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

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clutchpowers · 9 months

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Sooooo... i wanted to stick this little rambly thing at the bottom of the redraw but it would have made it look UGLY so im doing this separately... just wanna talk about the whole thing and What Not.

TLDR: its been a slash positive ride thats been worth it to try "something new" every year and my favorite piece out of all of them is the 9th. also for the curious heres the comparison of the 5th anni piece to the recent one (2018 -> 2023)

anyway. personal post time.

oh where to begin *rocks on my rocking chair* i guess it would be with the 5th anniversary piece...at the time it had been a long while since i did lineless art and i thought it would be cool to try it again for that one so i did by redrawing an old piece from 2014... that was the first "finished piece" i made of Them. i think i even made it into a wallpaper for myself lmao. anyway after i posted it i was like "aw man i should draw something every year until the 10th" but i thought yeah right. im going to forget next year like the idiot i am. but i Some How managed to do one every year... th worms got me... i honestly didnt think id make it all the way to the 10th but i did!! AND WITHOUT MISSING A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 7TH WHERE I WAS A WEEK LATE???? UNREAL especially when fun fact! every year i had no idea what i wanted to do! all i knew for sure is that i wanted each piece to be out of my comfot zone to push me to do something a little different. unfortunately the subjects tm where always the same so it feels a little. samey. but these are my celebratory posts I GET TO ONLY POST ABOUT THE OTP SUPER BLORBOS OF ALL TIME

the 6th anniversary was a redraw of that one scene. you know the one. the helicopter one. fucking hate that scene btw it actually causes me psychic damage i cant watch with the audio or ill scream. but it is my favorite scene of mine despite all the horrors it causes <3 and i wanted to redraw it as if it was a cartoon... like i had taken screencaps from the lcu cartoon in my head. i still remember the backgrounds being such a pain in the ass. honestly id like to go back and redo this one one day too or do something similar to the concept because its a fun one that i always saw done growing up and i wanted to try it myself.

for the 7th anniversary you can see the turn.. no more humans... return to lego... i was getting a little more confident in drawing them in the lego form so i did another redraw this time with the ending!! honestly i still like this one and how it looks even with how late it was but i wanted to test my confidence and do a real True and Finished piece with COLORED LINES and EVERYTHING!!!!! im glad i ended up taking the turn because for the LONGEST TIME i wanted to try and draw them as lego so bad because all i did was draw them as humans and its funny because now its the exact opposite. glad this piece was kinda the solidification in my head that yeah okay im a bit better at drawing the stylized lego toy now i can keep drawing them like this without feeling like im going to want to delete this in 2 weeks.

the 8th anniversary one is so weird. somewhere toward the beginning of the year it got into my head that i wanted to do a comic of them but time/school would have gotten in the way so i ended up opting for a page. another redraw of the ending scene which honestly out of all of them this is my least favorite one and its solely because its all so off. i def could have formated it better so the background shot doesnt take up the entire fucking page but then again im not a comic guy and this was my first time so the layout was bound to look HORRID but this is something id like to come back to ive had the idea of making like a genuine short comic about them since FOREVER and now that im a bit more experienced (lying) i would like to make one day!!!! just gotta stop getting caught up in my scripts!! and going in circles!! Because im obviously not a writer and i keep getting first-hand embarrassment from these!! but ill get over it one day lol.

OH THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY PIECE MY BELOVED. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES ACTUALLY i love this stupid thing so much you have no idea.i know its re-using lineless but i just loved the idea of what it would look like lineless AND IT CAME OUT SO PERFECT I LOVE IT SO MUCH obv it needs a few touch-ups so the main issues dont stand out to me but god. i love this piece so much. idk what came out of me to make this but its so good ill never get over it. and the little lego them as a cake topper ITS JUST SO CUTE I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY OTHER THAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SORRY

finally. the 10th anniversary piece. oh my god. okay. i need everyone to understand this. i had woken up with this fucking Unbearable pounding headache that was trying to kill me. my body the entire day wanted me to stop and lie down, but last night i was already done with a good chunk of it and all i had to do that day was finish some lines and the coloring?? i literally don't remember all i remember is my body actively trying to shut down and force me to stop and sleep which i took a nap? didnt help. so i said fuck it im finishing this. i was. an entire goddamn corpse arched over my laptop. i was so delirious the entire time its a fucking miracle it even came out as good as it did but honestly. i still hate how it fucking looks. like you can TELL when i gave up (the shading) and it sticks out like a sore fucking thumb to me and it pisses me off because i knew i could have done so much better if i wasnt being stricken down by gods hand and his every attempt to get me to rest. idk like im generally proud ot it, with this one i wanted to go out with a bang tm so i tried to draw every important and relevant character instead of ALL of them like I was originally planning LMAO but ah well. maybe one day when im faster at drawing. this one i defiantly wanna go back and touch up but i everytime i open the file i can see 40 more things wrong with it and it drives me nuts. so ill just have to wait for when im ready. i guess.

can i just say though. the improvement is crazy. it always catches me off guard because tbh i uh. dont like my own art. im getting better at not fucking hating it because i can pinpoint everything wrong with it but whenever i see the side by sides it always surprises me. i always dont think im improving but then i see it and its like wow i really am getting better! i still suck at 3000 things but im getting better! and its overall just a nice thing to see after having drawn them for as long as i have... the power of the worms is strong and has ruined my brain...... speaking of i know ive said a few times that i fucking hate certain pieces, not just LCU related ones but almost anything i post, but if you love them and are able to look at them with a twinkle in your eye then thank you. genuinely. i honestly love looking over the tags of people exploding and saying nice things. it warms my cold little heart and im glad there are people out there that genuinely love some of the things what i do! even if its just fanart and its just their blorbo. thank you for sticking around even tho all i do is draw my otp super blorbos :'^) this game means the world to me and im glad like more than 2 people wanna spread it around.

to wrap back around to the anniversary stuff and speaking of big love to the people out there THE FREAKING EPIC ZINE i was just a small thing but it came out amazing even for how small it was thank you to the contributors and thank you to everyone whos downloaded it!! its still getting the occasional and i love getting the notif in my email about it. i love that there are still people out there who wanna see it and all the hard work everyone put into it to celebrate the games 10th just thank you again i really does mean alot to me ALSO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IT OUT PLEASE DO IT IS 100% WORK YOUR TIME AND ITS DIGITAL WITH PRINT AT HOME STICKERS AND YOU CAN KEEP IT AND LOOK AT IT FOREVER

uh to end this off....would I like to do this again..... I mean I kinda am? by that i mean ill do the big numbers (15, 20, 25, 30, 40, etc) till the day i freaking die!!!! but yeah no countdown stuff ever again!!!!! sorry :^( it was super fun to do though!!!! and im glad i did it that piece is the conclusion to the whole thing but that doesnt mean ill stop drawing them. duh. theyre my characters now! but heres to many more anniversaries and to hopefully another game! or to just see them again in any other lego media! or even better... a mischaracterized cameo in ninjago!

#long ass post lmao congrats if you actually read it all and made it to the bottom :'^)#i typed this all out yesterday thats how i got it out so quick lol

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starrsfics · 2 years

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I'll Burn Your Name into my Throat

Yandere!Ryan Ezrahler x Gn!reader

i wrote this listening to Caraphernelia by PTV :) if you guys like this ill def write a part two w/ smut ;).

Warnings: Yandere!Ryan, death, jealousy, gore, blood, non consented touching, slight stockholm syndrome, violence, only proofread once.

1.3k words.

He was mad. Watching you with him made his blood boil. You were his. Why were you anywhere near that disgusting man. Ryan quite liked Dylan. Really, he did. But that was before he saw him being so affectionate with you. HE should be there, touching you, making you feel safe. Not him.

He was sitting down far enough so you and Dylan wouldn't notice him. He had been doing this for a while actually. He was barely even paying attention to his podcast anymore. All he wanted was for Dylan to be gone. Away from him. Away from his sweet, perfect (y/n). Ryan watched as Dylan finally walked away from you. He sighed in relief, admiring your perfection from afar. You were too good for Dylan, he doesn't deserve you. The thought of Dylan made Ryan absolutely sick to his stomach. Seeing him caress you while you rubbed his back so gently. He couldn't take it much longer.

BANG.

He punched the tree. He was expressionless. He retrieved his it from the rough, rigid bark and watched as blood dripped from his knuckles. Nothing. He felt nothing. No pain. He needed you to feel something. ANYTHING. Without you? He was worthless. He had a plan, though. A plan to get rid.. of the.. problem.

You and Dylan were laughing as he took the whipped cream from his ice cream and put it on your nose. "Dylan! You're the worst!" you giggled, wiping off the sticky sweet from the tip of your nose. "Hey Dylan, can I talk to you?" Ryan asked while flashing you a quick smile. You thought Ryan was a really cool person! He was one of the best counselors at Hackett's Quarry actually. Although you two didn't talk much, you thought you and he got along pretty well. You wondered what he was going to ask Dylan.

He saw you two together. Yet again. This time you two were laughing together. He knew Dylan liked you. He knew you liked him. Why wouldn't you? Dylan is more sociable than he was. Much more likeable. Seeing you two bonding was such a heavy weight on his back. He couldn't wait to get rid of Dylan. Once. And. For. All.

You started to get worried. You checked your watch. 11:09. It has been three hours since Ryan took Dylan away. You got up from your seat and left the cafeteria. "Dylan? Dylan where are you?" You looked around the camp. His cabin? Nope. The lake? No. The bathrooms? Wrong again. There was one place you hadn't checked yet.. The forest. No way. No way Dylan would be there. Why would he go into a dark, creepy forest so late at night? You decided to go check anyways.

"Dylan? Are you out here?" you called out for him. You shone your flashlight around these unfamiliar surroundings. Suddenly, you heard the sound of twigs snapping near a specific tree. It had a perfect view of the camp. You inspected the tree. Blood. There was blood on the tree. "Dylan.. Dylan please! Where are you!?" you called out again. You looked behind the tree and saw a strange figure on the ground. "What is that..?" you whispered to yourself. "Dylan..? Is that y-" you cut yourself off with a loud scream as you flashed light on the unknown shadow, revealing that it was in fact Dylan. He was dead. "What the fuck! Dylan! Oh my god!" you ran to his body. His eyes were gouged out. His throat was slit and blood was dripping from his chest.

"(Y/n).. (y/n).. my love. I did this for you.." You turned around to see Ryan. He was holding something. A heart. Not one you draw from paper, it was a real, human heart. Your eyes widened at the sight of his bloody hands. "What.. what the fuck." you were gonna be sick. "Why the hell are you holding that Ryan? What the hell is wrong with you?! You did this to him?!" you yelled at him in anger as tears fell down your cheeks. He bent down to get a better view of your face. That beautiful face. The fear in your eyes was so fucking perfect. He loved the way you looked as tears filled your (e/c) eyes. He reached out to cup your face and you slapped his hand away. "(y/n).. do you not get that I did this because I love you? Everything I ever do is for you!" He grabbed your wrist tightly. "Tell me you love me baby.. please.." he begged. You struggled as you tried to free yourself from his grip. "Let me go Ryan! I fucking hate you. Get the fuck away from me you sick fuck!" you kicked him in the stomach and he flew backwards.

You pushed him. What the fuck. This was not supposed to be how it went. You tried to get up and run away, but you were too slow. He grabbed your wrist again and pushed you to the tree while pinning your hand above your head. You winced in pain as your head hit the tree. "You're hurting me.. Please.. Please leave me alone." you sobbed. "Oh darling, I would never hurt you if you didn't deserve it! I love you. Please, just say it back!" he said looking at you with maniac eyes. You were absolutely terrified of him. "I-I.. I love y-you.. Ryan." Those were the words he had longed for. Since the very moment he laid eyes on you. Ryan leaned down and kissed you softly. You didn't kiss back, but he did not care. "I'd do anything for you (y/n)! I hope you know that."

Your heart was racing, but not from the kiss. The way he said your name was horrifying.

When you woke up, your hands and legs were tied to a chair. You had no idea where the hell you were. the last thing you remember was falling asleep. Then it hits you. Dylan is gone. "Ryan..?" you called out. "Baby! You're finally awake! How do you feel?" he walked out from the shadows. His eyes were no longer.. crazy. "Do you need anything? Ill get you anything you want (y/n)." he was so attentive.. it was quite.. sweet? "Thirsty.." you whispered. "Do you want some water darling? Sure thing! I'll be right back." Your eyes followed him up the stairs and he was gone. You tried freeing yourself and managed to get one of your hands loose. Then with that loose hand, you freed yourself completely. You didn't know how much time you had left until Ryan came back so you hid behind some boxes.

"(Y/n)! I have your wat-.. where did you go?" he looked around anxiously. You couldn't have possibly.. left? Right? He grew impatient. "(Y/n) I don't have time for your fucking games!" he yelled. You flinched at the sudden loud noise and accidentally knocked over a picture frame. Fuck. Ryan snapped to face in your direction and he slowly approached you. He grabbed your smaller figure and smashed it against the wall. "Don't try to leave me darling. You are never getting rid of me now. You can't just throw me away!" his eyes were crazy again. You were whimpering in fear. One second he is being so attentive and gentle with you. The next, he's grabbing your wrist and throwing you against a wall. He was unpredictable. One of the many qualities that made him insanely scary. "Ryan.. please.. I love you.." you said not wanting to be hurt anymore. He was surprised at your words. He didn't ask you to do that.. maybe you really did love him.

"I am glad you do baby! I love you too. Now please, stop trying to run away from me.. you know I only want what's best for you." you gave him a faint smile, trying to please him since there was no chance of escaping now. He hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.

"I'll burn your name into my throat, (y/n)."

#ryan ezrahler x reader #ryan ezrahler #the quarry #the quarry fanfic #tw yandere #yandere male #yandere!ryan ezrahler #requests are open

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seethingvortex · 9 months

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hiiii i figured now's a good time to make a pinned post

im ryker, but once upon a time like 10 years ago i was @/toki-draws aka moderface

i follow from @waynekiller and my main art blog is @thundahouse , i only post OCs over there, MTL is the only fandom i am active in

my pinned got kind of long oh well it's going under the cut

im now 23 y/o and back again, army of the doomstar hype got to me

im also trans (he/him), bi, white/tsalagi o7 so my blog is def gonna be full of indigenous nathan headcanons i live and breath that shit. i do have Mento Illnesses but I'm not gonna list them, you'll have to use context clues

despite loving MTL & dethklok & brendon small's work in general i am sometimes pretty critical of the show so . especially with it's treatment (and lack thereof) of black/brown & female characters. i do still love the show but it does sometimes annoy me. the way i engage with most media is through analysis and critique, if that makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to hang out, it's ok

general DNI - bigots of course, as well as any pro ship people, these are instant blocks. im really just here to have fun, i'm not here to make waves or anything. of course since there are a lot of crossovers in different adult swim fandoms, DNI if you like south park

i dont really think i have a specific DNI in regards to the MTL fandom. <- scratch that lol, now i have to make a big directory

----

MTL DNI / SHIPPING / HC

if you hate Abigail DNI. i can understand hating how she's written, i also hate how she's written and the fact that she was basically only a learning tool for nathan/only used to cause drama between him and pickles. i will always declare this as a misogynistic writing trope (because it is) and her character got done really dirty (because she did) and ill drum up a big fuss about it every chance i get lol. i can also understand disliking her character, it's whatever, she's not for everyone, especially considering how bland she ended up. but if you hate her and constantly trash her like it's her fault she got written badly, i won't engage with you. Brendon truly fucked me up giving fandom misogynists and fujoshis a black woman for fodder

same thing goes for Magnus, if you absolutely hate him and trash him DNI

----

if you sexualize Toki's age regression DNI. if you ship Toki with Rockzo DNI. i'm dubious on MagTok, but it doesn't appear to be that popular these days anyway

i headcanon Nathan as being Miccosukee & pickles as being trans. these are really the only constant & recurring headcanons i have, otherwise im open to a bunch of stuff

the only constant romantic ship i have is Nickles, they are truly It for me. as far as the rest of the band goes, i prefer a family dynamic for them. you won't really find any romantic Skwistok, Skwisface, Murdertooth, or any other ships with Nathan or Pickles here. that being said, if you ship all of them or mix n match them up that's okay 👍👍👍👍

nathan fictive (fiction kin? other hearted? i don't know the difference, he's the only character ive ever "kinned")👍 i originally wasn't going to say anything but everyone seems to be pretty open here so (cartoon slide whistle noise). you can also just call me Nate or Nathan, that's okay 👍

i am a-ok with doubles & i don't have any current canonmates 👍

if there are any MTL discord servers out there i might be interested, they don't necessarily have to be fictive or kin related i just cant stop talking about this show & i need a place to inflict my thoughts on people. i am however extremely wishy washy when it comes to meeting new people and i might flake out so. tell me or don't tell me, let the tide decide

#about #me art #i know abouts are supposed to be short but i big autism #and i think i can explain things by explaining them More and Better and More

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alo-piss-trancy · 2 months

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Btw even if I don't check in here as often as I used to, I really do appreciate all of you who stick with this blog anyways c': Especially since I barely post anything 'kinky' myself anymore. So this is mostly just a gaming/media rant and personal blog now oops

In some ways I'm definitely better off than I was a few years ago, but I've also been dealing with a lot of chaos in my life and household and it doesn't look like it's gonna get fixed very soon. Mix of financial, physical health of me and family I've been heavily assisting, house things in desperate need of repair...

On top of that I've been starting to realize I might actually have developed some form of Agoraphobia from all that time I was housebound before... and other stuff, but I think that was probably the main contributor. I'm still looking into it but with how a lot of the other things I've tried to cope haven't helped, meds don't seem to touch it much, and it seems to be getting worse, it's looking more and more likely than I'd like to admit. Which sucks bc it's also going to be hard af to keep up with working to treat it with Exposure or smth if I'm buried in all the above stuff/have limited transport/places to even go. It's really freaking hard when I do rarely go out and the anxiety/illness makes it so much worse. There've been times I've had to give up and go back early after like, an hour bc I was vomiting/crippled with pain/on the verge of fainting... and that's been happening more often. Like 1 in every 3 times, and I may only get out 3 times a month at the worst points.

Idk. I'm trying. I'm keeping up with the bare minimum rn and that's all I can really say lol

Also the only problem that's actually relevant to kink blog: my drive is still at 0 or even the negatives bc I can't get my medication sorted out bc my appointments got pushed back AGAIN ☠️ So yeah. That's why there has been no writing or hc posts and will not probably be for a WHILE. On God, it's about as appealing to me as eating dry cardboard 😔 Trying to write or draw anything fun is like pulling teeth and if I won't enjoy the end result then I'm not gonna bother RIP. When I get that sorted out maybe I can finally touch my poor WIP pile again 😭

Uh yeah so. That's why I've been so absent for like... forever. I do miss checking in here but I also get in my own head sometimes about posting when I'm not 'providing' anything this blog was intended for. Which I realise is dumb bc it's MY blog and if I want to rant about video games only for like a year straight then I'm allowed to. But brains are Fun like that 🥲

For what it's worth I'm not in like, a fullblown mental crisis so please don't worry about that! I'm not in any immediate danger or smth! I do have some other hobbies I've been keeping up with and socialising in other spaces. And I've been reading. So I promise I'm not in a complete isolated depression pit 💛 Life could definitely be better and I def have some rough days, but I have been trying to take some baby steps to either fix things or keep myself sane at least lol

Idk I just felt like I should explain why I've been mostly gone for ages off and on. I do lurk here sometimes to peek at things even if I don't have the energy to show myself. But I do really appreciate anyone who sends asks or comments on my ao3 or just reads my ramblings lol 💛 Even when I can't respond immediately I still treasure the gesture and it makes me happy to see some of the same names around in my notifs/dash c': So thank you~

#bear txt #not omo #i know this is a lot and maybe tmi but i just need to get it off my chest #as bad as it is and sounds tho this is still leagues better than when I was sick af and in my worst depression #i'll take this over that hell. i would not have wished those years on my worst enemy #so yea i can get thru this i think i just need to figure shit out... hopefully #ironically i read a book as a kid with a character who struggled with agoraphobia and it was the most horrifying fate to me #and i was like wow that's so sad i hope i never end up like that #now here i am decades later like... haha. fuck. i might actually be in the throes of it

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enden-k · 5 months

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have you considered drawing all your babygirls together? the overwatch boys (I'm so sorry I don't know their names. I like them bc you drew them but I'm not into overwatch and names take a lot of time for me) and haikavetham? idk I'd just like to seem them together again. maybe haitham and the cool robot guy outfit swap as well? or concept swap?

if you feel like it of course.

(also I think youve done it before but I've been really into outfit swaps lately and haitham in kavehs shirt lives in my mind rent free)

rama and haitham outfit swap would be so hilarious bc rama lit walks w his ramathussy out. the haithussy would destroy all of sumeru if he walked out like that for sure, cyno would arrest his ass immediately

but yeas idk maybe ill draw more niran w kaveh bc last time i did, i enjoyed it too much AHHAHA (crack ship?) but yea if i draw them both i think i might draw symweaver kavetham together for fun, no promises, just like. if i would draw them, it would be those bc symweaver is literally the kavetham of overwatch (prettiest babygirl in the world busy with projects til morning and his autistic (ex)roommate/(ex)best friend whos the opposite of him and still, they make it work etc blabla)

yes i did it before (drawing kavetham outfit swap) haitham rlly looks nice in kavehs shirt............rlly nice......rlly nice nicecneini

btw sorry for lack of genshin art or smth idk if some miss it but unfortunately im really bored of genshin lately. dunno if its the game itself and the fact that im just way too attached to sumeru that i really lose interest the more we dont see/are there again as we move on (i rlly tried moving on but its so hard, rn im just very casual and do the barest minimum hhhhhhg bring me back to sumeru pls thanku)

anw obv i still love my babies too much and im always open and free to scream about them or share my thoughts and hcs or whatever. is just bc of the genshin boredom and me moving back to old fandoms (ow2) and other fandoms (hsr), im drawing other stuff from there i enjoy. i def wont leave the game/fandom tho and ill cook up some kvthm some time dw, im just waiting for the next time i have more days off work so i have enough time to brainstorm and rlly get into it again

#sorry if my words dont make much sense or im rambling. im sleepy and tipsy #but yes I LOVE MY KVTHM BABIES WAY TOO MUCH STILL SOOOOOOO no one worry or smth okkkkk byee #reply

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castle-dominion · 11 months

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don't tell my family but I want to try out liveblogging an ep I haven't seen before. Maybe it will make me finally Shut Up during the family watch

4x17 I think, once upon a crime.

little red riding hood lol I recognize that bridge from the spy episode I think Sexy big billowy red cape btw, oh & falls like a dame

It's like TUA I'd believe that. This a biography? Also as a mentally ill person heck yeah I love a good scribe! martha just taking over his office lol "I'd like to write another one"

RC: First Alexis is interning for Lanie, now my mother is taking over my office. (again, don't u remember life coaching in I think s1?) I feel like my whole life is being invaded. KB: You'll get used to it. I did.

Oh she's barefoot! & those are deep facial gashes LP: they're shallow Me: ?????? Castle obv it's little red riding hood, but the story was not a prophesy. KB: Great, Castle. I'll call in an APB for the Big Bad Wolf. RC: Do you have a better theory? [Beckett chews on her lip. She keeps walking.] KB: Hey, Ryan? [Ryan walks over. normal jacket, not a coat & not rly fancy, def not a dress coat, he has a scarf, no tie but pinkish shirt with white stripes.] KB: Do you think you could call dispatch, see if there are any reports of a violent animal running around the park? KR, castle jr: Like a wolf? A Big Bad one? KB: Really? KR: *points* That is exactly how I pictured her. It's freaky. My older sister used to read me that story.

RC: "…when he leaped up and gobbled down poor Little Red Riding Hood." Well, the good news is the Wolf can talk. So, if we can find him, we might be able to get a confession.

I love love love love love folktale, it is such an important part of folklore & culture. I want a Métis story at some point but we are such a small community that nobody is going to do it except us. But hey that's what fanfiction is for!

Ok why does esposito's hair keep growing? I prefer this to the hair in s3 but s1+2 hair was nice. I like how he has opinions on fairy tales at least. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would share that.

KB: Are you drinking Castle's Kool-Aid now? Oh btw espt's outfit: nice grey suit jacket with a square pattern on it, nice dark blue (but obv blue) shirt, dark desaturated blue tie with thin white stripes & thick grey stripes. Sometimes he comes to work looking like this, other times he is wearing what I'd wear as pyjamas.

Oh it's always the person the family member brings in with them. It's going to be this man. Also dang she needs to join a union or smth bc no human should be working 100h/week, no human should be working 80 hours a week, heck no human should be working 40 hours a week! We have machines & automation now, we have more PEOPLE now, why are we working MORE? We should all be living our lives singing & dancing & making music & drawing & painting & writing & conversing & sleeping & petting animals & cooking & eating & smiling. Besides, every job out there? Someone wants to do it. The world is a wonderful beautiful place (I say as a person with a severe case of major depressive disorder) full of love & fulfillment & community. It should not be a place where people work 100 hour work weeks.

Holy crap I'm not even at the titlecard! Capes are coming back into fashion! People have been talking about it lately! (beckett looks so... boring, so normal. I want her to look cool again, her pixie cut was good

Long hours high pressure? She's probably really into kink or smth. Or that steampunk bar. RC: There’s this whole adult role-playing subculture obsessed with fairytales. (castle...?) KB: RC: No-- not that kind of adult role play. Although, there’s that one, too. KB: And you know this how? RC: Did a little research. KB: 🤢 RC: (chuckle) Bo Peep. KB: ._. RC: Anyway, these people get dressed in the outfits, they play the characters, they even reenact the stories. Maybe that’s what Amy was doing when everything went horribly and tragically wrong. KB: Castle, that is a surprisingly reasonable and grounded theory. RC: Yeah. *JE enters* Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in myself. JE: We all are, bro. KB: : ) (I'm assuming that's disappointed in castle not "we all" as in disappointed in ourselves)

KB closeup: Contact her bank. See if they know why she made that withdrawal. JE heading out: As you wish. jafsdhajsdkfhas Apparently huertas & katic are both fans of the princess bride & so when they have beckett closeups huertas will respond with "as you wish" to make her laugh but this time they kept it in or scripted it in bc it's a fairy tale episode & I think that was cute af. yk I would actually think it would be great if espt was a princess bride fan. It's a story full of torture & sword fighting & politics & giants & war & pirates & revenge & poison & miracles & mountains & oceans & bloodthirsty eels & he gets the sexy lady in the end.

reminds me of that episode in murdoch mysteries. The guy spoke ojibwe & said ma'iingan but I, knowing some cree (& having context), figured out that it meant wolf since the cree word is mahikan. So proud of myself.

Ok I understand trying to blame a wolf but dressing her up as red riding hood? This was NOT for the purpose of pretending the killer is a wolf & getting away with it. Or maybe he drugged her with K & brought her to the park, maybe so he could hunt her & roleplay, maybe it was consensual nonconsent or smth, but then why would he drug her?

hOLY CRAP that is One Nice Vest! Look at that! Ryan has a beautiful vest with a blue back panel & omg is it nice, with that light pink shirt? (& those fkn eyes) Oof I think it suits him SO well. Who is the costume designer? Who dressed ryan? I need to speak with you & bake you a pie.

*casually uses a sexily tanned gal instead of idk like an anemic or smth* but then again black hair doesn't really occur in white ppl (except my gramma but she's technically Métis)

OH SO ONLY NOW IS THE INTRO? I FEEL LIKE I'M ALREADY A THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH THE EPISODE

ok also what's going on with ryan's hair? he looks like me rn, we both need to cut our hair, I have a mohawk but I'm brushing it back instead of up bc it's too long (I have thin hair, product sometimes just weighs it down)

I might actually call them a spree killer bc of the closer proximity in time & location Ok I always thought that it was just esposito furrowing his eyebrows but I think that's actually a scar that jon huertas has & now I feel bad lol Lunch at what time? (thanks ryan) wait I just had a thought: don't look into the victim, look into the killer. Evil stepmother & big bad wolf? What is in common with them?

at least ryan says "excuse me" before taking his call, unlike OTHER people That's a palindrome number. 50 605? Ryan *just standing there with his head in the door*

AC: about you too *taps her dad's nose* WAIT SHE DID MAKE EXAGGERATIONS RIGHT? BUT DID MARTHA REALLY SLEEP WITH HIS FIRST PUBLISHER? OH PLEASE LET THAT BE TRUE Oh well at least it was after the book was out......... StiLL, WhAT Castle *pours himself a finger of scotch after seeing his mom flirt with the playwrite younger than him* Martha: Oh, darling, I invited Beckett to the reading tomorrow night, so you two might want to make a date of it. Rick: *pours more booze*

Remember when rick said "if I ever choose to write a biography remind me to Not"? Yeah Martha is doing it now KB: Oh, so you don’t like it when someone writes their own version of your life? Interesting. RC: Okay, are you referring to the Nikki Heat books? Because this is completely different.

oh fu heck yes ryan in that pink shirt that's so good. Maybe the costume design is putting him in so much pink lately bc he just got married. & then esposito with his layers upon layers? He's breaking down the homo headcanon/au in favour of a bi one with all them those layers. it's going to be martha's acting studio

Woah ok this is interesting camera work, I'm on my period & I have a headache & I'm in pain & I'm overheating & so I feel nauseous, this camera work is not the best for me rn. But hey espt & ryan have p big guns & their vests are black & called nypd not blue & police. But the other ppl (who are actually wearing helmets) do say police. Yay ryan gets to break the door this time

Oof I Looooove a creepy doll, I love haunted dolls I love creepy collections of things I love my auntie doris's house with all her creepy dolls i love my bone collection, also poor ryan with a fear of dolls ever since he watched that movie as a kid lmao

she's so right tho. She was coming to the door she was just slow! Tho she could have said "coming" ig. Maybe she was waiting to hear another knock on the door. Ooh yk I'd like to have a teenager in their room not notice breaking down the door bc they are listening to loud music. or a deaf person. I'd love that. having been an emo teen & also being deaf. I love when they break down old ladies' doors & they offer them candy or tea & cats Ji: No, dearie, nobody else lives here, just me and my friends. KR: *looks up at all the dolls, then looks down again in deep discomfort* (ngl I love seeing him uncomfy like this. this is why i read fanfiction. i get to put characters in pain or i get to put them in comfort, either way it is cathartic.) "Yes they are" "I can't imagine" Ji: Do I look like someone who has a habit of wasting money? I—I’m on a fixed income. the dolls: *sitting on every available surface* *slowly removes a doll from behind his back* Yep, keep it in your bra babes.

I was totally expecting her to send EACH of the cops home (or at least each of the detectives home) with a doll or a small figurine

JE+KR: On it *look at each other in jinx*

castle writer moments yeah of course she would have withdrawn the-- WAIT THAT'S HOW YOU FIND & PROTECT HER

Jessie: I’ve never been questioned by cops before. You mind if I tweet about this? KR: ??? Uh, yeah, yes, we—we do mind.

I thought maybe the third woman killed them like the table of last supper electroplating sex worker story from murdoch mysteries. Maybe this third friend just woke up from a coma & used to actually be friends with them but these two friends stabbed her in the back while she was coma'd.

that was NOT typing was it? Who types like that? Is castle on the phone at the same time ?? Oh wait i'm dumb, I THOUGHT he was calling someone else but I doubted myself

Charlotte's already dead Nice angel wing Yep she be dead. NOPE SHE'S ALIVE what if it was suicide?

KB: So, what, you’re Prince Charming now? RC: Well, if the shoe fits obv the 4th is the killer but who are they? SEE I TOLD YOU 50605 the killer really does have a psychological motivation

Ooh I love photograph nerds oof welp he def can't be the killer but-- hold on, 6th of may 2005? in USA speak that's 05/06/05! (in normal speak it's 6/05/'05). I'm guessing the police report is about his death? Those three did smth to get him killed? I didn't know ikwydls was from 97, I got ads for it on youtube, must have been a remake. I was actually thinking of that.

I still think she did it, it was a spree-murder-suicide. Where are her injection marks? Girl don't mix drugs if u don't know what u'r doing Yeah b'y they were kids with a lot to lose Maybe he never intended for you to live & just thought he could get money out of it at the same time

You know I want an adhd killer/victim who can't be tracked bc they keep forgetting to put the money in the bank, or castle thinks the victim is a spy bc they keep losing their toothbrush & buying new ones, I want them to say "it wasnt [adhd killer] because look at how they acted in the interview" but it's just emotional dysregulation, I want them to think "[adhd killer] never would have been able to do xyz bc they're not smart enough, they didn't even finish high school" but [adhd killer] had a hyperfixation on that thing & is really skilled at that thing, I want the ME to say "there is a bunch of drug residue on them" & then beckett assumes they were on or selling drugs but when ME runs tox "they were on a prescription dosage" Or maybe I want a busker who gets paid in cash so they think it's money laundering or smth when they're actually a fiddler.

Called it. husband that the sister brought in.

(ryan always gets played off as the feminine one but he is not necessarily, his voice gets so deep sometimes but in such a way it gives me gender envy, his voice seems to have a wider range of speaking voice than esposito but because of this sometimes I can't tell which one is talking)

Ok he's lying? Yeah he did it wait... he only blackmailed & didn't killl...

yo always get a lawyer y'all, don't ever talk to cops. I THOUGHT IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE SISTER, I KNEW IT. Or no, the way she's scting, it's too much to be an act. (I say knowing this is fiction.) why is nobody breaking up this fight? Maybe bc they hate him maybe bc she's a girl (& apparently teachers are told to break up fights between boys but not get between girls)

KB: Don’t underestimate him. I mean, the only reason that he copped to the blackmail was to avoid murder charges. And like any psychopath, he’s a great actor. Oh, speaking of… RC: Psychopaths or actors? KB: I was thinking about your mom. RC: Oh, so a little of both. KB: I think we can make the play. RC: Really? So you want to venture into the dark, scary woods? KB: Don’t worry, Castle. I got a gun. I’ll protect you from the Big Bad Wolf. RC: You’d use your gun on my mother? KB: RC: I’m touched. Thank you. KB:

Slip-on shoes are the way to go

What bow? Whose bow?

Was it her? Can't be her I already ruled that out. Where was she injected? Unless it wasn't a suicide attempt but just an overdose to get the cops' eyes off her She is getting teary but not crying bc she's faking & she just Can't Quite Cry whut that makes very little sense tbh Why would you kill two more ppl if you're trying to save your life? I mean unless u got away with it by successfully playing the victim She's literally in the hospital

What the fudge I love the way ryan is walking backwards, point for the adhd headcanon (gosh has roofing taught me nothing? Even in the kitchen I walk backwards) Wow sappy af. (I love the way rysposito look at each other) what's castle got there? a recording device to prove beckett is actually a softie? Little peace sign up there

"Hey I'm right here" The role of a mother <3 *living in his house* *holds his hand*

Ok so I think I like watching it first bc I can write my theories without forgetting them but it might be shorter if I watch it first & then I always notice stuff more the second time through & I can make note of that stuff for future reference when I know it doesn't make sense

I also realize that I probably should have skipped a few episodes so I'm not watching the same one twice in one day but rather have some time in between. idk when mum is coming home so maybe I can watch another one but from way later in the season. Probably not tho since it will take MORE than half an hour.

I do think that maybe it will let me SHUT UP during the show or it will make me overly talkative once I know how it works. Maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut bc I don't feel the need to share my theories or I'll be afraid of spoiling so I'll actually be quiet for once

#castle 4x17 #castle 4x17 spoilers #castle 4x17 quote #castle binge watch

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strawberry-roro · 1 year

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HI I RUN THE FRUITLOID BLOG AND I KEEP READING UR TAGS ON THE MULLET LEN POST. U GET IT I AM TELEPATHICALLY SHAKING UR HAND RN

AHH sorry for the late reply, i nvr got the alert!! im shaking ur hand back w vigour :handshake:

i looked back at my tags n i mentioned some of my sketchbook stuff, so ill add those below.. idk if i have any art of younger len but here r some of my sketches from a few years ago! these r of len when hes 18-20ish, where his bangs are def teased + styled but the layers r more natural and windswept rather than a direct interpretation of his more anime v2 hair from when he debuted

bonus scene len and my holy angel themed magical girl len bc they also have longer hair

i think this is the closest i have to baby len.. i dont draw his bangs quite as Anime Blocky as i imagine them to be but this captures how his face looked younger -> is the main reason u can tell hes older beyond his hairstyling + fashion growth lol

hopefully ill make some more hq lens to show off my diff hcs sometime in the near future!! esp since there r some other lens ive been rotating in my mind that arent in this post :3 and tysm again for sending me this ask, ive been musing on these hcs for a while so im rly rly glad u liked reading ab them in my tags!!!

#vocaloid #kagamine len #len kagamine #el speaks #my art

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wulvert · 1 year

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IM VERY LATE BUT TRIPTRACK!! did terry only get. created? after the divorce or does toad just. forget he has a 2nd child. very in character 4 him if so. i want 2 explode him with my mind

ALSO UR CREATURES,,,TELL US MORE ABOUT THM,,,i lov red n tex nd i project my arospecness onto them bc their "friends but also not JUST friends but also-" is so real 2 me,,,howevr,,,do u have any untold info in ur brain u can give us abt the rest of ur lesser seen beasts like shae nd tara nd mouse n mits nd...toad...i GUESS. . i absorbed all the terry lore into my brain from the other person's ask and im so hungry 4 more info,,,

u can also give any silly paperteeth lore here too if its in ur brain!! i want 2 devour all ur characters (even toad,,,he is so well-written 2 make me hate his guts) they r so goofy (/pos!!) i need 2 rotate every single one of them in my thoughts,,,

im back with clingfilm on my head i hope i can finally just. have my normal hair again im too lazy to keep dying it anyway! yeah so toad didnt have anything to do with terry, he sucks but he would def remember terry for. reasons.

yea i think a qpr is probs the best definition for what they have!

i hate how i handled shae- triptrack is something i cannot look at for more than five seconds without going i need to rip this apart and put it back together again- shae is like. H. shes kind of just obsessed with being peak performance like best form out of the entire sentient population- but like tex is a fairly indestructable robot and yeah. shaes also autohemophobic is that a word i think its a word. ( NO T HOMOPHOBIC SHE'S AN ALLY and her pronouns r she/they yeah like shae im yeah. and shes named after shea butter but i forgot how to spell shea. which. im pretty dumb im not going to lie to you. i think theyre the only character in triptrack that im set on that for bc. it sounds like shae. and i think thats art. nothing happened to her they just like decided to become a cyborg to like beat everyone else

also webtoon nerfed her boobs i cant beleive this world is so cruel

anwyay

mouse and mits ive decided r gay since my last post and in love and now sell homemade furry ish masks together

tara needs more screentime bc just like. girlboss this isnt what ur husband meant when he said he wanted kids. but like. girlboss....

i think most of the stuff abt toad and tara is spoilers rn but knowing me i'll fail to explain it on every level so like . ill probs post about it eventually.

papertee th i keep forgetting 2 add and i think i forgot to mention the seeing in the dark on the otherposts i made - avery needs reading glasses but since vampires can see better in the dark, she doesnt need them if she's reading in the dark- but to her the ambience of reading in the dark is awful so she refuses. she also refuses to wear her reading glasses if anyones watching but she obviously needs them because shes holding the book 10 miles away from her face (longsighted) nobody cares mundane but i want to draw her wearing glasses and i need to provide context before i do. the science of her not needing them in the dark is not there. it. vampires arent scientce though

AND THANK U UUU im glad im not the only one rotating them in the microwave

#asks

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b0mblover · 8 days

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j rants abt dead loptson as usual because he cannot be bothered to keep the thoughts to himself

ok so FIRST OF ALL

i think im gonna start just calling this ‘loptson hawaii: part ii’ BECAUSE ITS ESSENTIALLY WHAT IM MAKINGGG 😭😭

second of all, funny thing, im /planning/ on drawing lopt playing piano and mason playing violin because in hawaii part ii its the instruments i noticed specifically (i swear it makes sense) but uh.

brain rot j made a fucking omori joke and now i cannot get it out of my head 😭

the only difference is that mason is getting killed but doesnt play piano (oh ig omori spoilers but its 2024. even if you havent played it you probably already know)

uggrbfnd fuck im not even kidding i swear. those maps i made im using for this project J PLEASE QUIT DOING THIS TO ME WHY DO YOU HATE ME. THIS IS SUCH A BG ASS PROJECT. YOU CANT EVEN PROPERLY FINISH A SMALL WRITING THING. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS SHIT (talking ti myself somewheee thats not main sorry)

im sorry but uh. look. unironically, guchiry characters playing instruments have been actually rotting my mind for literally years 😭 trust me i dont even know how i dont have a list. i just associate them in my mind and remember it.

CHOKES sorry yeesh!

i actually made three maps but uh, i think only one will get used in this project (if i ever finish it that is) bc i havent even named the other two! i might just use them for idk. aesthetics in my room or smth idk.

jesus i have so many ideas i need to quit this is excalty how burn out happens but i cant help itttt

hggvfddnsn i the brainrot so much

currently (like as im writing this) im working on i uh- drawing smth rather reveling(?) like uh. it isnt -sexual- in like the slighest but is???? idk look. i really need to practice/actual/ anatomy 😭😭 it sucks bc like. man its akward as hell bc im essentially drawing lopt with no clothes on but i feel like i kinda gotta??

(i really wanna have smth to laugh at when i get older alr)

ANYWAYS the point was that i cant figure out if i should render it or just leave it at line art.

christ im rambling again fuck.

back to the topic (yes im leaving that in)

i should absolutely end masons life in the most guresome and blood curdling way possible! 😍🥰 /j

but srsly. maritime forest. you are having BLOOD on your trees 🥰 (look it up. that isnt the /name/ of it its just a descriptor)

man. these names are kinda. weird ish tho.

aphelion, periciel, vacant beach 3- (last is a joke)

ahhbrbdns but srsly naming this shit is hardddd bc following real world naming (at least acordding to google) is such a pain, like uh, (from what i remember) it usually is either a feature of the place, named after someone, and a third thing that i cannot remember rn.

(funfact, im 99% sure periciel isnt a real word! peri acordding to google means about and ciel means sky in french apparently, yea. about sky. aphelion((heres the google def bc im not explaing this))

“the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun."

(SO! uh yea. if you were wondering how i came up with the names ig. oh yea funny thing. the thing about periciel. i actually looked up peri bc in puyo puyo tetris 2 (im being dead srs rn i wish i was kidding) in a call out line schezo says “parry” but i thought it was “peri” so yada yada boom. this shit is unnecessary complicated but uh. thats my entire existence! so)

man i have SO much to do. i think im gonna attempt to draw bread sheeran. well actually scratch that. i have a week to do that, i was working on uh. nonsexual lopt before i went outside and got brainrotted to death, so ill probably work on that, or start the other drawing (i really REALLY wanna draw mason playing violin. i actually dont even know that in white ball violin is the main instrument. i just think it is 😭😭) hggggbbhh well! im gonna go suffer now. thanks to like the 2 ppl that read this in full. im sorry for your eyes!

#j’s misc shit #JESUS CHRIST KN A STICK DEAR LOPT 😭😭#ywaaaaaaaaajansbdnsjeb mmmmmason playing violin is HAUNTING me rn. its actually awful #thanks to sho for giving me loptson marraige au brainrot that i totally am not at all twisting into something horrifying! totally!#(/gen thank you tho. ur too swaggy to be kept alive 🔫🔫🔫)#hhggh ok i gotta shut up and start Fuckin WORKING RUAHHHHH

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