#stray kids song angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dazed--xx · 4 months

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🥀Heartbreak Playlist 🥀

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Summary: Now suddenly you're asking for it back Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve? Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had. But I don't really care how bad it hurts…..When you broke me first

Post Date: 01/17/2024

T/W: Mentions of Cheating, Break Ups, arguments, drinking, manipulation, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, mentions of being drunk, yelling, sad ending

Word Count: 2.7K

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Summary: Little do you know, How I'm breakin' while you fall asleep. Little do you know, I'm still haunted by the memories. Little do you know, I'm tryin' to pick myself up piece by piece. Little do you know ……I need a little more time

Post Date: 01/20/2024

T/W: ANGST..,crumbling marriage, mentions of divorce. Mentions of anxiety, mentions of panic attacks. Mentions of neglect in a marriage, crying, begging etc

Word Count: 2.7K

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Summary: I tell myself you don't mean a thing. And what we got, got no hold on me; But when you're not there, I just crumble. I tell myself I don't care that much; But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch Only love……Only love can hurt like this

Post Date: 01/28/2024

T/W:1930s Era, ANGST, historical inaccuracies, Prohibition, cursing, mafia, talks of murder, mentions of guns, Molotov cocktail, gun violence, harassment, neglect in a relationship I guess, mentions of illegal activity, life threatening injuries, mentions mafia war. Mentions of Bootlegging, mentions of Shylocking. Sad ending

Word Count: 5.1K

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Summary: I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me. I know that your love is gone. I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy. Don't tell me that your love is gone…..That your love is gone

Post Date: 01/28/2024

PLEASE READ AUTHOR’S NOTE!!

T/W: ANGST!!!!!!!!!!!!, hate comments, distant partner, mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety, assault like legit assault, recording of an assault, hate speech. Cursing, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS, Crying, Feeling alone, ambiguous ending, etc

Word count: 2.5k

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Summary: Pictures I'm living through for now, Trying to remember all the good times. Our life was cutting through so loud; Memories are playing in my dull mind. I hate this part, paper hearts And I'll hold a piece of yours; Don't think I would just forget about it……Hoping that you won't forget about it

Post Date: 03/18/2024

Member: Seungmin x Reader

T/W: Break Ups, arguments crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, slight shoving nothing too crazy, some emotional manipulation, problem avoidance, denial, (subtle mention to woojin via blacked out photo he existed people he was in the group once), mentions of Minhos elimination in Finding Stray kids

Word Count: 2.3K

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Summary: Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall; And you're not here, To get me through it all. I let my guard down; And then you pulled the rug…..I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Post Date: 03/18/2024

Member: Changbin x Reader

T/W: Friend Break Up(cause romantic break ups ain't the only type that is heartbreaking), arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, problem avoidance, flirty behavior, mentions of one night stand, mentions of friend with benefits relationships, innuendos, brutal honesty

Word Count: 3.2K

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Summary: Torn in two, And I know I shouldn't tell you. But I just can't stop thinking of you, Wherever you are. You. Wherever you are; Every night I almost call you. Just to say it always will be you…Wherever you are

Post Date: 03/19/2024

Member: Jeongin x Reader

T/W: Break Up, arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, Long distance relationship, neglect, ambiguous aged female (17-22), emotional manipulation.

Word Count: 3.2K

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Summary: I've spent all of the love I saved. We were always a losing game, Small town Girl(boy) in a big arcade, I got addicted to a losing game. Oh,Oh.All I know, all I know……Loving you is a losing game

Post Date: 03/19/2024

Member: Felix x Reader

T/W: Break Ups, arguments crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, Bet Au!, depressing thoughts, lack of communication, childish behavior, Avoiding S/O, mentions of sex, bullying, denial

Word Count: 2.1K

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astraystayyh · 10 months

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You're sexy I'm sexy

Jeongin x reader. Friends to lovers. Lots of pining and tension. Innie has a fat crush. Mention of alcohol and drinking!

Inspired by You're sexy I'm sexy by Eric Nam, also by this moodboard by @chachachannah <3

Jeongin is out with his friends, and you. You're tipsy and sitting on his lap, and he doesn't think he can keep his crush for you at bay anymore.

skz song series masterlist.

a.n: 7/8 of the series and a little fun break from all the angst <3 can't believe there is only one fic to go now :")

Jeongin is out with nine of his friends, they are loud and boisterous, their laughter echoing throughout the small bar they're in. Yet, the only thing he can seem to focus on is you. You're giggling at a joke Minho just told, and it feels as if your laugh is molten sunshine, running through his veins and igniting him from within.

You squint your eyes as you take a sip of your drink, your nose scrunching up as the liquor grazes your tastebuds, and Jeongin can't seem to take his eyes off of you. He is enthralled by your every move, and you're not even doing anything.

He's had a crush on you for a while, four months to be exact- 120 days where his every waking moment was spent thinking of you. It happened so abruptly, taking him completely off-guard. He's never felt this way before- a blushing mess, putty in your hands, so pliable for you to mold however you want.

He shakes his head, tugging slightly at his black bangs. He remembers how you complimented him on his new color, running a hand through his freshly dyed hair. You’re always so nonchalant, in your way of touching him as if you don't leave him burning up in your trail. As if your knee bumping into his doesn't make electricity shoot through his body, as if your arm resting lazily on his shoulder doesn't make the world around him fade away, until all he sees is you.

You stand up to go get another drink, and Jeongin finally feels as if he can breathe again. "You're staring at yn," Hyunjin nudges his side with his elbow, and Jeongin drawls out a whine, hiding his face in his hands, "I know."

Some time has passed, and Chan has called over some people he knows, so now everyone is squeezed into this tiny brown booth with Jeongin at the end of it. But no one seems to mind the lack of space, everyone is delighted the exam season is finally over.

You come back, a red drink in your hand, and Jeongin can tell it’s you just from the intoxicating smell of your perfume. He's learned to recognize you through those small details- he can even distinguish your soft knocks on his door when you visit his dorm.

There is no place left for you in the booth, and you pout slightly. Jeongin goes to stand up to leave you his place, but you push him gently back down.

"Do you mind?" you ask, pointing at his lap and he startles, looking between you and his legs. He stays silent for a while, unsure of how to answer, and you smile slightly.

"Never mind, it's okay," you leave to get a chair but he grabs your hand abruptly, pulling you on top of his lap.

Jeongin doesn't know what's taking over him, he's never been this bold. But he accounts it on the one sip of alcohol he's taken, this, and the fact you proposed such a thing. He knows you're tipsy because your cheeks are tinted pink and you don't seem to mind where you’re sitting, on his lap.

Jeongin can't think straight anymore, too overwhelmed by the warmth of your body. You are everywhere, all at once, and he feels a sudden urge to bury his face in your hair and never let go. You move your hair to your right shoulder, and the scent of your shampoo tickles his nose. The curve of your neck is exposed, and he wonders what would happen if he grazed it with his teeth.

Would shivers run down your spin? Would you gasp softly, pupils dilating as if trying your best to take him all in?

You are laughing, again, and the melodic sound pulls Jeongin out of his wandering thoughts. He finds it endearing, how your entire body shakes when you chuckle, as if laughter reverberates through you from head to toe. Was it normal to be so aware of someone's existence? To know them more than you know yourself?

"Am I bothering you?" you turn to ask him, a soft smile on your face, and he shakes his head. It felt as if his tongue was tied in an impossible knot, he couldn't think, or dare to speak with you so near.

"You're warm," you point out, placing your cold hands on his heated cheeks. He closes his eyes, leaning into your cooling touch.

"Here, let me," you smile, grabbing the collar of his leather jacket and shrugging it off of him. He simply watches as you place the discarded jacket on top of your lap, before rolling the sleeves of his white t-shirt a bit upward. Your hand lingers on his forearm, squeezing it lightly, and it feels as if you’ve sealed the skin with your palm. Anyone who gazes at it will be able to tell you touched him.

You lean your back onto his chest, and Jeongin tentatively wraps his arm around your waist. Your hand reaches up to play absentmindedly with his silver rings, and he wonders what you must look like to other people. He wanted them to think that you were a couple, he realizes. Maybe if enough people believed it, it'd become a reality.

The night passes and the place beside Jeongin frees up, but you stay on his lap. His chin is now on your shoulder, your back snug against his chest. He can feel every twitch of your body and every soft exhale you take, and he unconsciously mirrors your actions, as if looking for any way to intertwine your being with his.

He goes to grab a water bottle from the table but you hand it to him, unscrewing the cap in the process. You turn to face him, as he brings the bottle to his mouth, his eyes still fixated on you. A water droplet runs down his throat, and you trace over its path with your finger lightly, which makes his Adam's apple bob up and down furiously.

Your finger doesn't leave his skin- you are tracing over his collarbones now, and he licks his lips nervously. Your touch is barely there, it would be farfetched to even compare it to a feather. But it's you who's touching him, so he feels it, everywhere.

Your hand moves to rest on top of his chest, and he knows you can feel his heart beating widely in there. He thinks the entire room can hear it at this point. A testament of what you do to him, of what you make him feel. Only you.

"Hi there," you smile innocently and Jeongin lets out a dry chuckle, his hooded eyes gazing intensely into yours.

"Hey you," he whispers, grabbing a strand of your hair and twirling it between his fingers. His gaze flickers from your eyes, to your nose and then to your lips. It stays there, too enamored to possibly move somewhere else. You're talking, he knows you are, but he can't seem to hear what you are saying.

He can't blame it on the alcohol because he hasn't even drunk that much. But his mind is foggy with thoughts of you, of what he wants to do with you, if you'd let him.

"Why are you looking at me like this?" you ask, a slight giggle rhythming your words.

"Do you even know how pretty you are," he says in awe before his eyes slightly widen in shock. Did he just say this out loud?

"Is that why you kept looking at me all night?" you smile, a hint of teasing in your tone, and Jeongin buries his head in your shoulder. "Shut up," he says lowly, embarrassment clear in his voice at being caught.

"It's okay, you're so pretty too," you smile, pulling his head away so you'd be able to look at him again.

His eyes find your lips instantly, like two magnets that can't help but be drawn to one another- fated to be together, no matter how much they try to stay apart.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks breathlessly, raw hope dripping from his tone. "We don't have to be something more I just-"

You cut him off with your mouth crashing on his, desperately, and he gasps onto you as if you're the oxygen with which he breathes. You taste sweeter than he could've ever imagined, and he's getting drunk from the way your mouths move against one another. He wraps his arm around your waist, thumb brushing your sides gently in an effort to bring you impossibly close. Your hands finds his hair, tugging slightly at the ends of it, and it's as if you wanted this too all along. As if Jeongin wasn't alone in his longing for you.

Your lips are soft, immensely so, and he doesn't think he can go back to not kissing you. To preserving you in his mind as a fond memory, not when he knows what it feels like to have his mouth on yours.

"I want to be somebody to you," he says between kisses, desperation lacing his words. He doesn't care how needy he sounds. He's been waiting for four months. If there is a slight chance you like him back, he'd take it and water it enough until it blooms into something much more.

"You already are," you smile into the kiss, your teeth clashing against his which makes you both giggle. "You'll kiss me again when we are sober, right?"

"I'll kiss you for the rest of my life if you'd let me," he brushes his nose against yours gently, and you smile softly at him, wiping the remains of your red lipstick from the corner of his mouth. He places a tender kiss on your wrist, before pressing his swollen lips onto yours again.

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cheeseceli · 11 months

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If skz wrote a song for their s/o

Pairing: ot8 skz × gn!reader (individually)

Description: Stray Kids write a song for their s/o, inspired by their actual songs and respective lyricists

Genre: Fluff and maybe a little bit of angst (couple fights, low self-esteem and fear of rejection are mentioned)

A/n: Kinda of unexpected of me to post something like that since I only write short scenarios but! i felt like doing something like this, hope you guys can enjoy

Chan - youtiful

You know whenever there is a chance I'll tell you that you are amazing as you are; Cause when you give me a glance I'm sure that I see the universe in your eyes

He knows how hard insecurities can get and he would hate to see you doubting yourself. He wrote this song with you in mind, hoping it would help you to feel more confident and see your worth.

Lee Know - Waiting For Us

Cause I'm right here waiting for us; At times I was afraid; I didn't think you'd ever come again; So I'll tighly hold your hand; No matter what moment comes; I won't let you go

He probably wrote this one after an argument and he is sure he never wants to fight with you ever again. You are the love of his life and he wants to be with you no matter what and no matter when. This would also be his comfort song whenever he was in tour and far away.

Changbin - Sorry, I Love You

I know I’ll regret, so I end this; I know I’ll regret, so I decide to express my feelings; I want to be more than just friends; I like you too much; Sorry that I like you so much, I'm sorry; I tried to hide my feelings but I guess it was too obvious

He wrote this right before he confessed. He was so sure you didn't like him back?? Up to him, he'd never say anything about his feelings 'cause he didn't want to ruin the friendship. But you are too beautiful to be just friends and he needed to tell you everything. Even though the scenario of the song is pessimistic, it encourages him to confess.

Hyunjin - Hoodie Season

Hey baby, I'll make you my lover ey; When you feel the winter wind in autumn; Ooh ah, ooh ah will you hug me warmly; Fallen leaves, like fallen leaves; We gon' fall in love

And they fell in a love in a spring autumn day. Even though this part of the lyrics talks directly to you, this song is not exactly about you, it's about what you make him feel. A hopeless romantic, he was born to love but he also expects to be loved and you make him feel this way. You are like the hoodie that protects him from the cold wind and makes him feel warm.

Han - MIXTAPE: OH

When my hands touch you; We take each other's breath away; At each other's gaze the feeling we've never felt before; This has no explanation; I know it's nothing ordinary; Makes me want more

This one would be written before you guys got into a relationship and he would be so confused. Did you want the same as him? That was just attraction or perhaps something more? This song was basically a brainstorming, trying to figure out the whole situation as it was something new to him.

Felix - WOW

You who's different, curious of you; Your vibe which has changed, curious of you; My feelings that I cannot name, mysterious of you; your gaze when you're staring at me; Let me say wow

He wrote this one in his delulu era i'm 100% sure. You would look at him for a second and he would be speechless. He would spend the whole day thinking about you and wondering if you felt the same, trying to read all the possible signs, even writing about it.

Seungmin - my universe

So close yet so far, your and my world; I will always find you till the end always; Even if I fall behind, I will follow you; My universe

He knows the idol life is hard to keep up with, but still you were there for him in all those hard moments and he is so, so grateful for that! If he believes in afterlife, he is sure he will find you in his next life. That's how it is: you guys are meant to be.

I.N - #LoveSTAY

I will never make you lonely; you'll always be beside me; Someday I'll get exhausted and cry; Fall down and feel pain again; it doesn't matter once again; I can endure it by looking at you; Cause I love you

Yes, it is about Stay. But I.N can't help but think about you in some verses. He considers himself so so lucky to have you: you were there in his worst moments and you made ordinary days become the best moments of his life. You are his medicine and he hopes he can be the same to you

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last-words-ofashootingstar · 11 months

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star's masterlist

works contain mature and explicit content ; please read individual story warnings and take care of yourself 🩵

also: i'm not a solo stan, just very very heavily hongjoong biased

i write for ateez(ults), stray kids, tomorrow x together

spotify link ! i have playlists for Shells and OTONA BLUE as well as my personal playlists:)

requests and tag lists open !

instagram link !

mature (m)

explicit (x)

reader or author favorite (!)

upcoming : allure part three, shells part six

ATEEZ

Units

Valentine! - head canons, drabbles (x)

Yandere ATEEZ taking care of a sick darling - head canons (m)

Sub ATEEZ - head canons (x)

DJANGO - ot8 (x)(m)(!!!)

Manners One & Two - hj/sh (x)

Playtime - hj/ys (x)

Should I? - yh/mg (x)(!!) & Part Two

Favorite positions - head cannon,drabbles (x)

Allure Part One -hj/sh (x)(m)(!!!)

Kim Hongjoong

Shells mini masterlist (x)(m)(!!!)

Pretty (x)(!)

Stupid games, stupid prizes (x)

Fill You Up (x)(!)

Breath & Breath alt ending (m)(!)

Piña Coloda (!)

Tough Luck (x)

Your Color (x)

Closed Doors (w/choi soobin)(x)(m)

Park Seonghwa

Tease (x)

Pretty Boy (x)

Bebe (!)

The Garden (Chapter One)(m)

Baby (m)(!) , Medicine (m)

Jeong Yunho

Handle it (x)

The night we met (x)

Days In : Chapter One (m)

Kang Yeosang

Otona Blue mini masterlist (m)(x)(!!!)

Yours (x)

Choi San

Who? (x)(!!!)

Heavenly (x)

After Hours (x)(!!!!)

Closer (x) (!!)

California Dreamin' (m)(x)(!!)

Moll (m)(x)(!)

Song Mingi

Sweet dreams (x)

Don't make me beg(x)

Cornflower Blue (x)(m)(!!!)

Jung Wooyoung

Marks (x)

Kiss it off me (x)

Aren't you? (x) (!)

So good (x)

Choi Jongho

Heard that? (x)

Tomorrow x Together

Units

Choi Yeonjun

Choi Soobin

Closed Doors (w/khj) (x)(m)

Choi Beomgyu

Can't help it (x)

Kang Taehyun

Huening Kai

You like it?(x)

STRAY KIDS

Units

Bang Chan

Lee Minho

Seo Changbin

Hwang Hyunjin

Han Jisung

Lee Felix

Kim Seungmin

Yang Jeongin

Nothings gonna hurt you, Baby (m)(x)(!)

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elllisaaa · 5 months

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eli's 1k event masterlist

-> my event to thank you for all your support <3

-> fill in this to be added to the taglist of the event !

enjoy !

STRAY KIDS...

❃ as love songs

❃ as olivia rodrigo songs

hyung line | maknae line

❃ as the weeknd songs

ATEEZ...

❃ as love songs [tbd]

❃ as french love songs [tbd]

❃ as lana del rey songs [tbd]

❃ as chase atlantic songs [tbd]

ENHYPEN...

❃ as love songs [tbd]

❃ as the neighbourhood songs [tbd]

❃ as isabel la rosa songs [tbd]

SEVENTEEN...

❃ as love songs [tbd]

❃ as billie eilish songs [tbd]

❃ as two feet songs [tbd]

TXT...

❃ as love songs [tbd]

❃ as arctic monkeys songs [tbd]

❃ as i.m - overdrive songs [tbd]

XDINARY HEROES...

❃ as love songs [tbd]

❃ as melanie martinez songs [tbd]

❃ as ariana grande songs [tbd]

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

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xxstar-girl · 2 months

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GIRLS OVER FLOWERS

park seonghwa x reader x choi san

[05: invite your friends!]

[MASTERLIST][PREV.][NEXT]

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ihatewreckingballmains · 2 months

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sooo.... who's writing skz angst for we can't be friends (waiting for you) by ariana grande.....

#stray kids #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #seungmin #jeongin #like i really need someone to write angst for this song #tag me PLEASE if you see one #stray kids x reader

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kidrauhlschik · 7 months

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Stray Kids as Sad Songs

Hyung Line

Bang Chan - Angels Like You (Miley Cyrus)

"It's not your fault I ruin everything

and it's not your fault I can't be what you need"

If he could go back in time to never meet you, he would. He would prefer to never experience the things he did with you, because then this moment wouldn't hurt him the way he's hurting right now.

He finally let's his tears flow freely as he packs the last of his things.

"A little more hurt won't kill you tonight"

He wonders if you'll ever forgive him. It's doubtful. He came into your life and everything felt like a dream. The first year the two of you spent together, you could have sworn that the two of you were soulmates. As time went by, that illusion quickly started to fade into a memory.

He self destructs, it's the only thing he's good at. You tell him that you're there for him through every step of the way, but he knows better. People like you don't belong with people like him. You need someone who can be there for you day and night, someone who you can see year round, you need someone who can post you on social media and show you off.

"Cause they say that misery loves company"

Bang Chan knows that he doesn't deserve you. He lack in areas you need him most. He notices when you cry yourself to sleep while he lays next to you, you never liked to tell him your problems because you don't want to add another burden to his ever growing list. He sees the missed calls that he didn't see while working, while performing, or while sleeping.

You deserve a good man, not the shell of one.

"Gonna wish we never met on the day I leave"

He decided enough was enough, and although his departure will destroy you, he knows that this is what he has to do. He knows that you would stop him if you knew, so disappearing without a trace is his only option. You deserve an explanation but he's too scared to confront you. So with that thought he grabs the rest of his bags and takes one last look at the place the two of you used to call home.

"I'm everything they said I would be"

Lee Know - A Grave Mistake (Ice Nine Kills)

"Till death do us part came far too soon"

He can remember that night as if it were yesterday. Every time he closes his eyes, the memory of the accident haunts him. Except, it was no accident. The man chose to get in his car after drinking way more than he could handle. He chose to take your life that night.

He can remember riding his bike behind yours, the two of you were discussing what you would have for dinner that night through the mic's in your helmet. It all happened in a second. You had a green light, everything was perfect. Until Satan himself flew through his stop at insane speed. Minho's heart stopped in that second. His brain refusing to process what had just happened.

He can remember the way your body flew over the car but he couldn't see you any more. He rode his bike around the car and found you. You weren't moving, but your helmet was still in place.

"Baby?" You weren't responding.

He flies off of his motorcycle, almost stumbling after it falls behind him. The bike didn't matter to him right now.

"Baby? Are you okay" No response.

On his knees next you he keeps trying to understand what his eyes are seeing. His hands hover over you, not wanting to so much as touch you to prevent further damage.

"I'm so sorry, I was was just driving and I-" But before the man could say anything else, Minho stopped him, he couldn't even bother to take his eyes off of you at that moment.

"Call 911! Call them right now!" From the top of his lungs. The world around him seemed like a blur to him, he knew there were cars stopping to see the scene but all he cared about was making sure that no one would touch you unless they knew what they were doing.

"Baby? Can you hear me? Baby please answer me!" Delusion.

"Rage, scorn, misery

Payback from what you took from me

Hope, love, sanity"

He remembers the ambulance arriving, shortly after the cops were putting handcuffs on the drunk man. He remembers that they were trying too pull him away to give the paramedics space to work. As he was fighting to get back to your side, he remembers the words very clearly.

"Time of death, 10:48PM" His world stopped. The words circled in his head but he couldn't understand them.

"NO!" He throws off the man who kept trying to hold him back. Landing on his knees next to you. They had taken your helmet off. You were fine. What were they talking about? It wasn't until Minho noticed the blood around your body that reality set in.

"Baby wake up! Get up baby! We have to go home! The cat's are waiting for us baby! Get up! Please." Tears were beginning to mix with blood as he held you body to his chest. Eyes full of pity let him have a moment with your body as he sobbed into your hair..

"No forgiveness, just farewell"

The memory hurts just as much as it did a year ago. He can only see your face as he holds the gun up to the man who took your life.

11 months. They only gave him 11 months in jail. It's okay though, Lee know would take care of the rest.

He pulled the trigger.

"A match made in heaven

You sent straight to hell"

Changbin - Ghost (Justin Bieber)

"I know you crossed a bridge that I can't follow"

You moved on. He knew you were happy. You finally had your dream career, your dream house, you dream man. Unfortunately, that man wasn't him.

You were the smartest person he knew. He always knew that you would accomplish everything you put you mind into. That meant that you knew exactly what you wanted in life, and being in a relationship with an idol was not in your list.

He received the wedding invitation three months ago. When he saw your name written in the front he was worried that the others would hear his heart burst into a million pieces. It's over. There was no chance of winning you back now.

"Since the love that you left is all that I get"

It wasn't that you no longer loved him. You simply love him in a different way than he does. Changbin thinks that it hurts even more this way, because he can still remember how you used to love him. He can still remember your voice through the phone on his late nights.

Now all he has to remember your love are letters. You always wrote him letters. You would tell him that it felt more personal that way. He thought it was silly but it was one of the many things he loved about you. He held on to every single letter, sometimes he still reads them to remember when you loved him.

"If I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you"

He knew he also had to move on. He tried it. No one could replace you. He brought his girlfriend to your wedding. His girlfriend was kind, beautiful, romantic, and she was everything a man could want. Except, she wasn't you.

You looked beautiful in your white dress, reading your vows to your husband to be. You probably hand wrote them, and all that Changbin could think about is that you still write letters, but they're no longer for him.

Your beautiful words are now directed to someone else and that thought alone makes him choke up. He refuses to cry though, he wants to be happy for you, but he can't help wishing that man holding your hand was him.

"I'd leave it all behind if I could follow"

If you turned to him in that second and told him that you still loved him, he would leave with you with no questions asked. He would simply get up and leave with you. He felt awful for feeling that way. His girlfriend didn't deserve that. Yet, he can't help but fantasize about your love and how it will never be directed at him anymore.

However, his heart will always belong to you.

"I miss you more than life"

Hyunjin - Creep (Radiohead)

"Couldn't look you in the eye"

Hyunjin never felt normal. That's why he escaped reality so often. Singing helps him forget. Painting helps him forget. You help him forget. He can always count on those three things to help him forget the world he lives in.

One would think he was perfect in every way, but he knew better. If people could see his brain, they would understand. Sometimes he's scared to look at you in the eyes, because maybe you could see the darkness in his.

You were always there for him. As a friend.

That's all he can ask from you.

"I wish I was special

You're so fuckin special"

He never felt safe on this earth until he met you. You were the light of his life and he always hoped he could be the light in yours, but that's unrealistic. Someone like him could never be a light.

You were so perfect. You always know what to say. He can't help but admire you. You have so many friends, and Hyunjin has nine. You had so many hobbies and passions that you enjoyed for fun, Hyunjin has hobbies to escape his own mind. You were beautiful in everyway, and Hyunjin thinks that's he's disgusting.

Those thoughts always haunt him.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Panic always sets in at moments like these. His nails dig into his skin trying to bring himself back to reality.

"I don't belong here"

"Otw! :)" Your message read and he immediately calms down.

He wishes he could be with you all the time but he'll never tell you that. You would probably laugh in his face and cut him off and he wouldn't be able to handle that. He can't live without you.

"But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo"

So there he sits in a room full of paintings of your face, paintings he made whenever he had a chance. Painting of you smiling, some when you were cooking, some of you when you were sleeping, and others of you naked.

Hyunjin has seen you in every way possible. But you don't know that. He tells himself it's okay because he loves you.

"Run."

A/N: That was a lot longer than i expected it to be. Also, I may have gotten a bit carried away w Lee Know's lol ! anyway thanks for reading !:)

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todomochi-uwu · 6 months

Text

Masterlist

Here's a list of all my works so far. I'm not taking requests, but I do comissions 💕 If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee

[f] fluff [s] smut [a] angst [tw] trigger warnings

Ateez

Jeong Yunho

Who; series [a] [s]

Pairings: Poly! Yunho x reader x Mingi (non idol au)

You can't remember when was the last time you spent time with them, the last "I love you", the last time any of them kissed you.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Song Mingi

Who; series [a] [s]

Pairings: Poly! Yunho x reader x Mingi (non idol au)

You can't remember when was the last time you spent time with them, the last "I love you", the last time any of them kissed you.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Stray Kids

Bang Chan

Silent Cry; series [a] [s]

Pairings: Bang Chan x reader / Kim Seungmin x reader

You remember the feeling of the long white dress hugging your body, asphyxiating you; the tightness of the bond your hair was put up in, but the one thing you would never ever be able to forget is the look on his face right when he said I do.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Kim Seungmin

Silent Cry; series [a] [s]

Pairings: Bang Chan x reader / Kim Seungmin x reader

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Haikyuu

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Of Unspoken Troubles & Broken Hearts; series [a] [f]

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader

How naive, how innocent, how foolish thinking your heart could be content with that little attention, that little love.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 2.5

Part 3

Dancing in The Dark [f]

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader

“Cause we were just kids when we fell in love. “

*If you explore long enough you will come across some BNHA content, but I no longer write for it, so feel free to like it if you want.

“In Between Aces” [s]

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader; Bokuto Koutarou x reader

Just a celebratory threesome between Ushijima, Bokuto and you, smut without plot.

Bokuto Koutaro

Dancing in The Dark [f]

Pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x reader

“Cause we were just kids when we fell in love. “

“In Between Aces” [s]

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader; Bokuto Koutarou x reader

Just a celebratory threesome between Ushijima, Bokuto and you, smut without plot.

*If you explore long enough you will come across some BNHA content, but I no longer write for it, so feel free to like it if you want.

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hearted-anon · 1 month

Text

thinking of Bangchan and stray kids, with the song 'waiting for us'.

imagine chan sitting at the edge of their beds lulling them to sleep with this song, tears welling up in his eyes every time he gets to the chorus, emotionally squeezing his heart. the lyrics representing him to his members, waiting for them and comforting them through their dark times.

''Cause I'm right here, waiting for us At times, I was afraid I didn't think you'd ever come again So I'll tightly hold your hands No matter what moment comes I won't let you go'

the soft vocals of his voice echoes throughout the room as his shirt was stained with tears, struggling to keep up without his voice cracking. he's afraid, afraid that the kids would leave him, and he would be left waiting for them. but when he felt many pairs of arms wrapping themselves our the leader, wiping at his tears and cuddling him with hidden smiles or frowns of concern,

maybe he won't ever let them go, and they won't either.

#stop #my heart loves this song #zuri's thoughts #meow #not tickling but #cutie #bangchan #stray kids #chan and his kids #love them #angst

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dazed--xx · 2 months

Text

🦋Paper Hearts🦋

Member: Seungmin x Reader

Word Count: 2.3K

Remember the way you made me feel, Such young love but Something in me knew that it was real; Frozen in my head….

You stared at the ground, the room felt smaller as Seungmin glared at you. “You think you're so perfect? You're overbearing. You nag me at all hours of the day and I can't stans it anymore” He growls harshly. You felt minuscule under his gaze. “All I was saying was you could prioritize our relationship a little bit more, Min…I can't wait around for you forever…” you state breathlessly. Tears threatened to fall as your eyes remained on your lap. “You're being selfish, Y/N if you can't handle that I'm busy then maybe this relationship is too much for you….” He threatens with a scowl. “You're right” you let out breathlessly as you nod in agreement, throwing him off guard. He hadn't expected you to agree, he stares at you in utter shock and disbelief. He struggles to find something to say, he watches in horror as you lift yourself from your spot on the couch and make your way to the door.

“W-Wait..” his call is cut off by the sound of the door closing behind you. He sighs breathlessly as everything replays in his mind. His heart cracks at the harsh words he had spit at you replaying in his mind. This can't be happening….He couldn't just let this happen.…he rushes out of the door after you. His legs move quickly as he sees the elevator door closing behind you, he slams his finger on the elevator button rapidly. His hand shakes at his side as tears build in his eyes. Once the second elevators door opens he's greeted with a bright eyed Felix and Jeongin with their manager stood behind them.

“Hey, sorry we have a schedule come up. You can't go anywhere…” Felix states patting his shoulder. Seungmins heart fell into his gut. “N-No, I-I'll be fast. I need to go…” He stammered trying to go around them to get on the elevator. Their manager stands in front of of him with his arms crossed “Unless it will be less than 5 minutes, I can't let you go. We have to leave for Japan in 45 minutes…so go pack.” He states firmly. Seungmin tries once again to get into the elevator but relents when he see that their manager will not budge. He stomps to his room and tries to call you. Dammit….he thinks to himself when the call goes unanswered. He texts you hoping you will reply and things would be okay.

As you walked home, you allowed the tears to stream down your cheeks. It's over….you think in disbelief. These past 5 years turned to nothing in a matter of minutes. You felt so stupid for caring. Seungmin had changed, he grew and realized who he truly was and you didn't fit in anymore. While you still saw each other every day, you rarely ever stopped fighting; Either due to your ‘nagging’ or his tirades. You remembered when things were different. When Seungmin seemed to love you unconditionally. You're pulled out of your thoughts by your phone's ringtone. Pulling the device out of your pocket, you're greeted with Seungmins contact with a sigh; you press the decking button.

You unlock your door and trudge your way through your apartment. The darkness oddly comforting as you make your way to your bedroom and lay on your bed. You sob as you release all your pent up anger and hurt. Your body trembles as you drift off to a restless slumber.

Pictures I'm living through for now, trying to remember all the good times…Our life was cutting through so loud; Memories are playing in my dull mind. I hate this part, paper hearts and I'll hold a piece of yours….Don't think I would just forget about it; Hoping that you won't forget about it….

You had realized your relationship with Seungmin had ended long before your argument with him the other day. It was when you both had first begun to hit a snag in your relationship. You both still loved each other but, it was clear you no longer could see eye to eye. Everything you did seemed to annoy Seungmin. And his lack of time and busy schedule began to affect you more and more as Stray Kids’ popularity grew. So, while Seungmin was in Japan; you decided to pack up the memories of your time with Seungmon and return them to his dorm. Trying to make this break up as clean as possible.

So here you sat, on the ground as you stared at the photos that mocked you. Your heart shattered on the floor as the memories sat in front of you, replayed in your mind. Picking one picture up, you give yourself a sad smile as a younger version of you and your ex smiled back at you. His members littering the frame The day you guys had made things official.

Stray kids had just debuted and had a small album release party. You sat sandwiched between the clubs couch cushion and Seungmin. A blush decorated your cheeks as Seungmin placed a soft kiss on your cheek. A shy smile forming on your lips as butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “Smile!” a staff member exclaimed excitedly as Jisung jumped on the back of the couch and Felix laid across you and Seungmin’s laps. Chan sat on the opposite side of Seungmin with his arms pinning Hyunjin to Minho in a big hug. Jeongin sat on the floor with a blacked out faced person beside him. As a flash blinded you for a moment.

You sighed wiping your tears as you place the picture in the box as you lift another one. Your fingers trace over the photo outlining your beaming boyfriend as he, Jeongin and you were celebrating their first win.

“I never thought a simple hunk of metal would cause so much chaos” Jeongin joked as he stared at the trophy. Seungmin sniffled as he snatches the trophy from the maknae. “We practically died for this…” Seungmin states with astonishment. You beamed at the pair proudly. “I can't believe I saw Minho-oppa cry.” you joke, Seungmin chuckles “he cried when Jyp kicked him out of the group.” you rolled your eyes with a giggle “If I recall correctly you broke down in tears and needed a moment when he was eliminated.” you counter “but that was on t.v for me this was in person!” you stare at the trophy. A large M on the small head of the little statue. “I mean you guys deserved this anyway, Miroh is a good song. And Stay have been fighting for this” You state matter of factly. The boys nod proudly. “Ugh I need a picture” Jeongin groans as he pulls his phone out. Seungmin holds the trophy up with a surprised look as you pose with a peace sign and a smile.

Your thoughts are cut off by an influx of calls and messages on your phone. You place the rest of the photos in the box as you go to check your notifications. You see the flurry of missed calls and texts from Seungmin. You wince as you delete them, still not being able to find it in yourself to block him. Though you would never admit it to anyone, you kept up with Seungmin’s activities. You have seen the photos and videos of him from Japan. As proud and happy as you were for Seungmin, it hurt. It hurt to see him completely fine despite your last conversation.

Though he constantly called and texted you, the last time you had checked them; you were utterly disappointed with the contents. They were overly nonchalant, never once addressing your argument nor the subsequent breakup. He acted like nothing ever happened, which infuriated you. He was completely unaffected, riding the wave of stardom. So, you stopped reading them, you refused to listen to his cheerful voicemails and completely went silent as he spent his time in Japan. Finishing packing his things you close the box and place it in your car. Once you reach the dorms you leave the box with one of the managers that stayed behind to keep an eye on the dorm. You felt a heavy sting in your heart as you drive home.

Everything is gray under these skies, wet mascara. Hiding every cloud under a smile; When there's cameras. and I just can't reach out to tell you. That I always wonder what you're up to….

Seungmin’s hands shake as he tries to call you again. These past few weeks have been agony. He was able to fake a smile when with the fans or on stage but, as he sat in his hotel room all he could do was break down in tears and sobs. You hadn't spoken to him in weeks….All he could look forward to was being able to finally see you again. He'd do anything to fix this, he'd never gone this long without one of your calls or texts while he was on a tour. It made him nauseous, he couldn't handle the memory of your last conversation so, he ignored it. He knows your relationship was stronger than being able to be destroyed by a few select words he didn't mean.

Even as time went on and his calls and texts remained unanswered, he felt in his heart that once he was able to see you everything would fall back into place. He just needed to get through this flight and he'd be with you again. He'd hear your beautiful voice and see your bright smile shining at him again and things would be perfect again.

Seungmin felt butterflies in his stomach as he made his way through Incheon International. He felt an excited buzz through his body as he sat in the van making his way to the dorm. Everyone stretches and drops their bags in their rooms as they all rush to get some much-needed rest. Seungmin halts as he notices an unfamiliar box seated on his bed. He stares at it with confusion as he pulls it open. His legs felt numb as he examined the contents. His heart cracking with every gifts and picture he had pulled out of the box, clothes you've accumulated of his over the past 5 years. No…This isn't happening…He thinks to himself as he shakes his head. He calls you in a panic. Your phone goes straight to voicemail, desperation fills him as he quickly rushes out of the dorm.

I live through pictures as if I was right there by your side. But you'll be good without me and if I could just give it some time…..I'll be alright

You were sitting on your couch watching the finale of ‘My Demon’ as you heard rapid knocks at your door. Pausing the show, you stare at your door confused making your way over. Staring through the peephole you see Seungmin standing there. Opening the door slightly with a heavy sight and roll of your eyes; you stare at him through the gap. “Can I help you, sir?” you question sarcastically. “Y/N…” Seungmin breathes out with relief as his eyes scan your face. He tries to shove the door open more, trying to get a better view of you. His heart cracking slightly when it doesn't budge. “Why are you here, Seungmin?” you question, your eyes focused on the ground. “I-I wanted to see you…” He trails “W-Why is there a box of my stuff in my room? Y/N, what's going on? Why won't you let me in?” he asks in denial. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as he tries to open the door again.

“Because…” you respond stoically “Seungmin, we aren't together anymore.” you fight back tears as you speak. Seungmin stares at you in disbelief. “N-No…come on. Let's just talk about this….” he pleads. You shake your head in response.

“Y/N, please….” his voice is small and pleading as he shoves on the door as hard as he can, forcing it open. His hands encase your face as he tries to get you to look at him. “Seungmin…” you sigh, your eyes focused on the ground. You hear a cry erupt from his throat, “No! Please…just—just look at me, please” he begs as he places his forehead on yours. “I love you. Please don't break up with me…I'm sorry…”

“Min, don't lie to yourself…”

He stares at you in horror as you continue to refuse to meet his eyes “I'm not…”

“You are…you don't love me. You're just used to me…but you're annoyed with my presence”

“Baby, no…” his voice is just above a whisper “I swear I love you. I love you more than anything. I don't want to lose you” He cries wrapping his arms around your waist as you continue to stare at the ground. “Look at me please!” he urges. Your eyes finally meet his and god, does Seungmin wish they hadn't. Your gaze is filled with heartbreak and disappointment. He took a step back for a moment letting his arms fall to his sides as you stared daggers at him. “Leave Seungmin….now,” you demand. He shakes his head taking hold of your hand. “Please don't make me…I'm sorry for what I said that day. Please, I didn't mean it…i can prioritize our relationship. I'll do whatever you want! Please stay with me…” He pleads with tear filled eyes. His nose a bright red.

You shake your head in response “I can't…”

“Please, I love you…you’re everything to me. D-Don’t do this…”

You close your eyes as you slowly shove Seungmin out of your apartment. Ignoring his pleas as he grips your hand tightly. “Please…baby please” He cries one more time as he's finally outside. You shake your head “I'm sorry, Min. I love you, I do but I need to love myself again…everything was too much and I just can't handle it. Please leave…I won't be changing my mind. It's over Seungmin…” you state sadly as you close the door.

Goodbye love, you flew right by love

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

#seungmin angst #kim seungmin angst #skz seungmin angst #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz heartbreak playlist #stray kids heartbreak #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin fluff #stray kids seungmin #seungmin #stray kids fluff #straykids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids song angst #stray kids song fic

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astraystayyh · 10 months

Text

If the world was ending

Felix x reader. Estranged childhood best friends to lovers. Angst and happy ending. highly recommend listening to If the world was ending while reading :)

Felix has always been there with you, from the moment you've met him when you were 8 years old, until he suddenly no longer was, and you were left to grapple with the consequences of his absence- and those of his return.

cw: description of a car accident, reader has a fear of loud noises.

skz song series masterlist

12 march 2011

Screeching brakes, a jarring collision, glass shattering all around you, shards of it embedding into your tender skin. You are too young to understand it all, but you know it's bad. You are suddenly upside down, the only thing helping you stay put is the seatbelt fastened around you. You didn't really like seatbelts but your mom always insisted on you wearing one.

Your mom, you can't see her face, she's upside down too, and she isn't talking. That's unusual because you're crying and she isn't turning around to comfort you. Someone is screaming outside of your car, and then you are pulled out. You don't know who's touching you, and you want them to stop. Where is your mom? Why did they not pull her out too?

An ambulance approaches you; its loud sirens feel like pine needles drilling into your skull. You try to cover your ears but your hands are covered in blood. The world around you is painted red- the flashing lights of the sirens and the liquid oozing from your cuts. It’s no longer your favorite color.

27 may 2011

You are playing in the playground near your home, waving at your mom from the top of the slide. She's gotten better, she smiles more easily at you now. And you are trying to be a good kid too; you help wash the dishes and you clean your room all by yourself. You don't want your mom to feel sad again and go back to that dreaded hospital.

You slide out, happy giggles leaving your mouth, before climbing up the tiny stairs once again. But as you reach the top, an ambulance rushes by the playground. You don't know what's happening, but you suddenly feel shards of glass on your skin once again. Your hands are shaking as you sit on the floor, curling around yourself in a ball.

"What's wrong?" someone asks and you lift your head tentatively. It's a young boy, he's looking at you worriedly, a tiny pout on his lips.

"I don't like ambulances," you hiccup, burying your head in your knees again.

Suddenly, small hands cover your ears, muffling the shrill sound of sirens. They are warm and sticky from the red popsicle he’s still holding.

"Now you can't hear them," he giggles, his eyes disappearing into moon crescents. Despite your raging fear, a smile finds its way into your lips.

"What's those on your face," you ask with a small voice, pointing at the faint marks dusting his cheeks.

"They're called freckles," he says proudly and you nod.

"They're pretty."

"Thank you!" he grins at you, his hands still covering your ears. The tightness in your chest seems to dissipate slowly before his kind smile- the shadows never stood a chance in front of the sun.

"What's your name?"

"Felix. And you?"

"Yn."

"We should be friends," he beams and you grin back, agreeing wholeheartedly. "We should."

15 november 2021

You are sitting on the grass of that very same playground, Felix still by your side. The night breeze is cooling as it brushes against your bodies, and you're wearing his red sweater. It smells like his cologne and your perfume- an intoxicating scent you've come to memorize by heart.

His nose tip is rosy from the cold, and you can't resist tapping it playfully. "Your nose is pink," you giggle, and he smiles, gently bopping yours in return.

"So is yours."

You look at him as he gazes up at the stars above. You love Felix, it has always been crystal clear to you. From the moment he planted the seed of his friendship into your soul, and throughout the years when it bloomed into something more, bigger than the two of you. It wrapped around your being entirely, binding itself into your every atom, until all you saw is his reflection in you.

And you were tired of treading the line between friendship and something more. You wanted, no craved being with him, your yearning so intense it spilled from you each time he was around. In rosy cheeks and shaky fingers and eyes that soften only when they rest on him- evidence of your love imprinted all upon you.

You take in a deep breath, before laying your hand gently on his cheek, turning his face to meet yours. His eyes widen slightly at the soft touch, and you lean in closer to him. You brush your nose against his, slowly, "to warm it up," you whisper, as his breath hitches in his throat.

He's close, he's so close, you can almost taste the brownies you shared earlier on his lips. You can see his freckles ever so clearly, constellations you often find yourself getting lost in. Your hand is still on his cheek, and you can feel it burning up under your palm.

You close your eyes, as his lips are now just a breath away from yours. It's electrifying- having him so near to the way you've always dreamed, fantasized about. But he needs to be the one to take the jump, all he has to do is lean in a bit, and you'd kiss him. You won't ever let go.

"Lixie...," you choke out, "kiss me."

"I want to." His voice is hoarse with emotion, as if fighting with himself for self-restraint.

"So do it," you ask, swiping your thumb gently across his cheek. Your breaths mingle with one another in a dizzying dance.

"I'm leaving," he says so faintly, you believe for a second that you've imagined it.

"What?" you ask, leaning a bit away to be able to look at him.

"I'm leaving," he repeats, his eyes tightly shut. "We're moving to another country, for my dad's job."

"You're leaving me?" you ask, bewildered.

"I'm not leaving you-"

"But you are. You won't be here anymore." You drop your hand, taking hurried steps away from him. Touching him didn't feel electrifying anymore, it felt horrible and nauseous, because you won't get to do it again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-"

"How long have you known?"

"Yn..."

"Felix," you say, tone stern. "How long?"

"Six months," he whispers and a bitter chuckle escapes your lips.

"When are you leaving?"

"In a week."

The pain becomes unbearable, and you turn your back to him so he wouldn't see your rapidly falling tears. You are angry, as a disguise for the sadness threatening to drown you. Him leaving tasted like the salty water you gulp when you dive in too quickly into the ocean. And you did dive in, in him, in his soul and everything that made up Felix. And now he was leaving you, with no anchor to help you float again.

"Is that why you insisted on spending so much time with me lately? Because you were leaving?"

"You need to understand I didn't know how to tell you, I- I don't even know who I am without you." He pleads, his own eyes shimmering with unshed tears, reminding you of tiny diamonds. That's how it is with Felix, you found beauty in everything he did- even tearing your heart in half.

"Maybe you should've thought of how I would feel. You were thinking of leaving me while I..." Your voice breaks and you take a shaky breath. "While I was falling in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too," he quickly says, reaching out to hold your hand. "I love you, I always have." He's wrapping his arms around you, and you're letting him because it feels safe and secure. Because he’s still your Felix, even if he's leaving you behind.

You wonder what you must have done in a past life, what a horrible person you could've been for the universe to treat you this cruelly. To hand you everything you've ever wanted in a silver platter, and snatch it from your hands before you could dare to grab it.

"We'll make it work," he mumbles into your hair, placing a tender kiss on your temple. "We'll talk and we can be together."

"No, we can't. I'll just hold you back from living your new life, I can't have that."

"Don't talk like that, please," his voice wavers, words barely managing to slip out of his mouth. Regret overtakes your body so suddenly at the thought of his lips- you shouldn't have tried to kiss him. Maybe then he wouldn't have told you he was leaving.

"It's the truth. we'll grow to hate each other, distance will put a strain on us. I'd rather not talk to you than have you resent me."

"But-"

"Just hold me," you cut him off. "As if nothing's happening, please."

And he complies because Felix always does. Because he loves you and as much as he doesn't want to, he knows you're right.

•••••

It's been three months since Felix left- the days passed by agonizingly slowly, and yet the months went by in a blur, a hauntingly vivid reminder of what once was. At first, the texts between you two were frequent, but as time wore on, the messages grew sporadic, from your end, mostly. Seeing him flourish in his new life felt like salt on an open wound, a reminder that he was moving on while you were still anchored in memories of him.

You saw him in every corner of your city. The smell of brownies that he's made countless times, each time you felt sad. The way he kissed your cheek each time he won a game, while you were lying on his bed, bored. The way he hugged you whenever you were sick, gently tucking strands of your hair behind your ear. The way he covered your ears instinctively at each loud noise, knowing how scared it made you still.

And you've felt each of these emotions since he was gone. You were sad and bored and sick and happy and scared. And he wasn't here with you through them. Each moment away from Felix seemed to magnify what could have been- what should have been between the two of you.

There is a building construction next to you, loud cement blocks crashing to the ground. And you are curled around yourself in a protective ball, covering your ears with your hands, because Felix isn't here to do it anymore for you.

You and Felix have grown with one another, your soul carefully woven into his, like two threads intricately stitched into the same tapestry. Him leaving felt like half of your body was cut off from you, and you were left alone to figure out how to function with an incomplete heart.

17 july 2023

Summer break meant coming back home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom once again. Memories of Felix still lingered in there- posters he has given you and his red sweater that you've never found the courage to throw away. It doesn't hurt as much to remember him, the sharp pain morphed into a dull ache you've grown accustomed to by now.

You're watching the TV mindlessly when someone knocks on your door, and you go to open it without a second thought, expecting it to be your parents. It wasn't.

"Felix?" you stammer, stumbling back in shock. You blink repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to make sure he's not a figment of your twisted imagination. You haven't uttered his name in so long, and the syllables felt both foreign and familiar in your mouth.

"It's me," he smiles sheepishly, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

"You are here," you whisper, stating the obvious. He didn't change much, his kind brown eyes and freckles still as captivating as before. But his features were sharper, prettier, and the sight of him is making you dizzy once again.

"I am."

"What are you doing here?" You ask cautiously, opening the door a bit wider to let him in.

"I requested a transfer to your university. I wanted to come back. I missed home, and I missed you," he adds softly, making a turmoil of emotions surge within you.

You clear your throat. "So, you are back for good?"

"I am," he says, smiling slightly at you as if to gauge your reaction. You stay silent and his grin falters; his tongue resting against the inside of his cheek, a habit he hasn't let go of apparently. He then walks to the kitchen and you follow suit. You don't have to show him around, he knows your home like the back of his hand. He spent most of his childhood here after all, even though his house was only a few blocks away.

"How have you been?" he asks as he opens the cupboard to take out a glass. He closes its door softly, careful not to make it thud.

"I'm good. It's summer break so I'm finally back home, what about you?"

"I'm good too. It's nice to be back."

Your conversation is strained and awkward, so unnatural of you both. There was so much to say, so much to ask about, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. He felt like uncharted territory to you now, one you didn't have the strength to discover once again.

"It's your mom's birthday tomorrow, right?" he smiles and you nod.

"Should we make her our cookies? Like we used to before I..."

"Before you left," you finish, bitterness dripping from your tone.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and you feel your heart suddenly clench in your chest. It was unfair for you to treat him this way. He was only seventeen and if your parents were to move away you would've followed them too.

"Okay, let's do it." You smile sincerely for the first time since he came back to you.

You both move seamlessly in the kitchen, each knowing your tasks like a choreographed dance. This was a tradition that started when you were twelve years old. You'd brown the butter while he beat the egg and sugar together. He'd sift the flour while you cut up chocolate. He'd mix it all while you preheat the oven. And then you'd roll the dough together.

Your hands brush against one another as you shape up the cookies, and it feels so intense you almost drop to the floor. You miss him, you miss him so much and he's near you and you can't seem to think straight anymore.

When the cookies are finally in the oven, he silently washes the dishes while you dry them. He abruptly pauses, hands still covered in soap before turning back to you.

"Can we talk? Please?" he says too quickly as if he's been overthinking asking this question.

"I'm busy today," you scramble to think of an excuse, you weren't ready to face him yet.

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm staying with my mom, then there is Han’s party."

"I'll be there too. We can talk then, please?" he asks, eagerness evident in his voice.

"Fine. Let's talk there," you concede and he nods, awkwardly shifting in his place. He finishes the dishes before drying his hands. You avoid his gaze and he sighs softly. "I'll get going. Tell your mom happy birthday from me."

"Will do." You smile tightly and he does the same, before finally leaving your home, and in his trail, a maelstrom of emotions you weren't certain how to deal with.

18 july 2023

You're at the reunion party Han is hosting with all your high school friends. You watch as Felix takes turns talking to everybody. He fits right in here, a puzzle perfectly clicking in place as if he's never left. He's telling a joke to Chan who laughs loudly, hitting Minho's arm repeatedly. Everyone is happy he's back, because they never had to gravel with the consequences of his absence. Because he's never ripped their heart out.

Felix is looking for you around the room- he hasn't seen you in a while. He assumes you're somewhere around the house, and that you'd like to talk when time has passed. The knot in his stomach tightens as the weight of your conversation dawns on him, he longs to be with you, to undo the past two years he has spent away from you. But he's afraid to mess everything up, once again, so he stays near his friends who are now pulling him outside of the house.

"We have a surprise for you," Han says excitedly before pointing at the sky, "look."

Fireworks, a dazzling show of blue, red and yellow. And Felix feels as if the colors were drained out of his face and splattered into the night sky before him.

"Where is yn?" he turns to Chan, eyes wide.

"Inside, I think. Why?"

"Stop- stop this, don't start any more fireworks," he urges the boy who's looking at him worriedly.

"Why, what's wrong? We have a warrant to start them, don't worry."

"No, no you don't understand. Yn hates loud noises," he explains frantically, before bolting inside the house.

He's yelling your name, and you are nowhere to be found, the sound of the fireworks so loud he isn't even sure you can hear him.

He opens door after door, and after painstakingly long seconds he finally finds you in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, your head buried in your knees. Just like you were twelve years ago.

Felix doesn't waste any time, kneeling in front of you to cover your ears with his hands, you look up at him, waterline brimming with unshed tears.

"It's okay, I'm here. Just focus on my voice," he smiles reassuringly at you, and you clasp your hands on top of his, doing your best to muffle the sound of the explosions.

"Your hands are still small," you attempt to joke, as hot tears trail down your cheeks. You hated how scared you still were.

"The perfect size to cover your ears," he smiles at you, his eyes softening when they take in your distressed state.

You hiccup, overcome by a new wave of emotion- for an entirely different reason this time. "You came."

"I'll always come. Even if the world was ending, I'll... I'll come to you," he smiles, biting his lower lip to stop his own tears from falling.

"It'd be useless if you came then. There would be nothing for us to do," you manage to say through shaky breaths.

"But I'd be with you," he insists, gaze unwavering, "It will be scary for you. I imagine it will be loud, the world can't end silently."

"Mine did, when you left." Felix's eyes go wide at your words, and you don't care that you are baring your soul entirely to him. "Please don't leave me again. I hate goodbyes with you."

"Why would we ever say goodbye again, hm?" he reassures, his knuckles brushing against your cheek softly. "I'm never leaving you, as long as you'll have me, I'm here," he whispers, before pulling you into his chest.

Your hands find his back, and his cheek rests on top of your head. And you both close your eyes, an exhale of relief leaving you both at the same time. The world grows dark around the two of you, the only thing you saw was his heart and the overflowing love he still bore for you.

You felt as if you were wandering blind and you could finally see again, as if the string tying you to him wrapped tightly around the both of you, trapping you in his warm embrace.

You don't know what will happen next, but he's holding you now, and he'll hold you when the world is ending, and that is enough.

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luvrhyune · 1 year

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-; ✧˖*°࿐ HOT GIRL BUMMER . BANG CHAN .

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ SLUTS !

chapter two — sluts.

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#[ — luvrhyune ?! ]#👿🗯️. hot girl bummer #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids x yn #stray kids fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fluff #bang chan x y/n #bang chan smau #bang chan x reader #bang chan angst #song yuqi #seo changbin #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #han jisung

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dangerouslyclose · 11 months

Text

U.N.I - Felix

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader

Genre: Song Fic, Angst

TW: Swearing

Word Count: 2.7k

Song: U.N.I by Ed Sheeran

Bonus Song: Deep End by Felix

“Okay on the count of three. One, two, three!” You ripped open the envelope scanning the information quickly. “I got in!” You yelled finally looking up at Felix. “Why didn’t you open yours?”

Felix took a deep breath, “Y/N, I’m moving to Korea.”

“What? When?” You asked quietly.

“The end of the summer. I want to go to become an idol.” Felix frowned.

You felt the tears coming, “What about us going to uni together? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry baby.” Felix pulled your crying frame into his body. “We will work it out, love.”

“You’re not breaking up with me?” You ask through a sob.

“No! Baby, no. Not at all,” Felix kissed the top of your head. The two of you stayed cuddled up on the floor for a couple hours, not saying anything. Eventually you both fell asleep on the floor, waking up a few hours later. Felix groaned as he stretched, “Hello, beautiful.”

“I just had the weirdest dream,” you yawned. “I dreamed that we were opening our uni letters and you told me you were moving to Korea.” With one look to Felix’s eyes you could tell it wasn’t a dream. “Oh,” you whispered. “Well you know I will always support you and your dreams. And I’m going to have the coolest boyfriend in the whole world.” You smiled, “I am and will always be your number one fan, no matter what happens between us.”

********

You and Felix spent the entire summer together, on this particular day you decided to hang out by the pool and catch some of the last bit of sun as the summer was ending. “I think we should break up,” you said.

Felix is immediately taken aback trying to decide where this all came from, “what do you mean we should break up?”

“I'm just saying that with you going off to Korea, I think that it would be better if we just ended things now while you were here instead of you being thousands of miles away and deciding that this isn't going to work.”

Immediately there were tears in his eyes as he tried to think of what he could say to convince you that that was the last thing he wanted, “baby, no please. I really do think that we could make this work. No, I know that we could make this work and I want to be with you.”

You sighed trying to stop the tears that were pricking at the back of your eyes, “I love you, baby. I just don’t know if I can handle the long distance and we both know how busy you are going to be. Also I’m pretty sure when you debut they are going to make you break up with me anyway. I don’t think idols can have girlfriends.”

“I won’t tell them. I can keep it a secret from whatever company I end up with.” He sighed, the tears slowing down.

“Felix Lee we both know you cannot keep a secret for the life of you,” you lightly chuckled, causing a small smile to appear on his freckled face.

“Let me prove it to you. Please, don’t end us before we even give it a chance.” Felix was crying again.

You were now crying as well, “Alright.” You decided to drop it there, still having the same thoughts dance around in the back of your head.

Before you knew it the summer was over and you were standing with Felix in the airport. “Call me as soon as you land,” You said through tears.

“I promise baby,” Felix was also crying. “I love you, Y/N. We are going to make this work, okay?”

You nodded, leaning up to kiss his lips one last time, “I love you too, Felix”

********

“So it’s this competition and the winners get to debut as a group called Stray Kids. And get this there is another guy, Chris, who is also from Australia. He has become like an older brother to me,” Felix smiled through the screen.

“That’s amazing Lix, I am so proud of you. I know that you are going to debut and be the coolest one in the group,” you beamed back.

“How are you? How are classes going? Do you still like your roommates? Tell me everything,” Felix asked non-stop questions.

You laughed, “my life is definitely not as exciting as yours. Classes are going alright, it is just the first semester so it’s a lot of the basics. I still really like my roommates, they are all amazing. Actually I think that we are going to go out tonight to some club downtown.” Felix’s smile faltered for just a second, you didn’t notice because your roommate called for you at that exact moment. “I have to go get ready for tonight. I love you, Lix.” You smiled and kissed the phone screen.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Felix also kissed the phone screen, “Please be safe tonight and call me when you get home.

“Alright, yeah. Bye.” You hung up in a rush.

Felix sighed as the screen went black, rubbing his hands down his face. “What’s wrong?” Chan asked as he walked into the room.

“I just got off the phone with Y/N. She’s going out to some club downtown with her roommates and I guess I just wish I could be there with her. She hung up to get ready, but it seemed rushed and I don’t know, I just miss her and wish we could talk more.” Felix felt the tears start to form.

“That’s understandable. Maybe you two can find time to have a phone date sometime. Instead of just talking and catching up, ya’know.” Chan suggested.

Felix sniffled, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll ask Y/N about it next time we chat. Thanks, hyung.”

********

You reread the email over for what seemed like the 100th time. By now the tears have stopped and you were more angry than anything. How did they even find your email address? At the exact moment your phone lit up showing Felix’s bright face. You scoffed, “Hel-”

Before you could even get the word out Felix was already screaming, “Baby! I did it! I’m debuting! I’m in Stray Kids!” You could see the tears running down his face and the widest smile you had seen in a long time.

Tears immediately started streaming down your face, “Baby, I am so proud of you.” In that moment you decided that the inevitable could wait, right now you didn’t want to do anything that would make that man stop smiling.

“Baby, why are you crying?” Felix’s smile faltered anyway.

“Because I am so happy for you Lixie! I knew you could do it. I love you so much, baby. Go celebrate with the other members! You can call me later, okay?” You already dreaded that later phone call.

“Okay. I love you too, babe. I will call you later tonight! Bye!” Felix quickly hung up the phone. The sob that racked through your body was one of the most painful experiences you ever had. You didn’t think anything could hurt worse than what you were preparing to do. You were wrong, the look on Felix’s face was definitely the thing that hurt the worst.

“What?” Felix asked, eyes wide with shock.

“I can’t do this anymore Felix. We have to break up,” your voice is pretty even, forcing yourself to not cry.

“I don’t understand, when we talked earlier everything was fine. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Talk to me Y/N, we can fix this.” The cracks in his voice broke your heart and almost broke your resolve.

You needed to get this over with as quickly as possible, “I met someone else Felix. Someone who can actually be here for me. I told you I didn’t think I could do the long distance and I was right. I’m sorry. Please don’t contact me.”

“Bab-” You hung up the phone and immediately turned it off knowing that he would just keep calling. You collapsed onto the ground letting all the emotions of the day come out. Your roommates came in to figure out why you were screaming. They all ran to lay with you cuddling up to you.

********

“Sydney! It is amazing to be home!” Chan yelled into the microphone. “Felix and I haven’t been able to come home for such a long time. Felix do you have anything you want to say to our fellow Aussies?”

“Thank you so much for coming out and supporting us! You will never know how much it means to us. I actually want to take this time to slow things way down. I wrote this song very shortly after we debuted, and it just kinda sat there for a while. When we were asked to record a solo song I knew this was the one I had to record. There is one person who I hope will hear this song tonight, this is Deep End.” Felix smiled at the cheers.

How've you been? I guess you're fine It's been pretty long Since we've last seen Honestly Throughout my life Deep inside I never felt alive The way you used to touch my soul Was always so sweet and lovely No matter how far apart we were You'd always pick up the phone But now I'm truly all alone in this world I miss the way you felt so close to my bones

You stood in the crowd on the floor when the tears started to slowly trickle down your face. You had heard the song plenty of times, but hearing it live and knowing it was about you made it hurt so much worse.

I'm sinking in the deep end I'll just try To cry myself to sleep Please stop this pain If you hadn't changed Then I'd still be by your side If I gave you one more chance Can we go back again? You made me feel As if we were complete But now you're filled with nothing but conceit The times we had together were bittersweet (bittersweet) I miss the days we used to laugh and heal (Laugh and heal) The way you used to touch my soul Had always kept me whole You'd always read my text And ghost me like you wanted me gone Now I'm truly all alone in this world I miss the way you felt so close to my bones

By this point you were sobbing, your roommates all surrounded you hugging you close. You could barely breathe. That is when Chan spotted you, he had seen pictures of you all those years ago and you hadn’t changed a lot. He whispered something to his bodyguard and stood up to join Felix back in the middle of the stage as he finished his song.

I'm sinking in the deep end I'll just try To cry myself to sleep Please stop this pain If you hadn't changed Then I'd still be by your side If I gave you one last chance Can we go back again? Honestly Without you in my life Deep inside I've never felt alive

You pretty much cried throughout the rest of the concert, replaying the sad look in Felix’s eyes when he was singing Deep End. You know you had no right to his emotions anymore, but that didn’t stop you from caring. When the concert was over you heard a man's voice come from right behind you, “Excuse me miss, can you and your friends follow me?”

Anxiety instantly shot through you. Did he know you were here? He couldn’t possibly know that, “Um, yeah.” You gave a wide eyed stare to your roommates as they followed you, following the bodyguard. You were led to a room backstage and told to wait there for just a bit, but no further explanation than that.

You heard his voice before you saw him, “Chan what is going on?” The door quickly opened. Five years. It had been over five years since you had last seen Felix in person, last touched him. You almost ran to him out of instinct, but your roommate, Sara, was holding your hand and keeping you in your spot. Felix’s eyes grew incredibly wide, “Y/N?” He whispered your voice like he was afraid if he said it aloud you would disappear.

“Hi,” you whispered back, looking to the floor. There were a few seconds of awkward silence that seemed to stretch on forever. “I’m sorry,” you whispered again with tears already streaming.

“Let’s give them some space to talk,” Chan said quietly to Y/N’s roommates.

They got up and followed Chan out the door. As Sara was passing Felix she whispered, “Make her tell you about the email.” Felix looked over and caught her eyes as she was leaving.

“What email?” Felix asked voice louder now.

“Oi, fuck you Sara!” you said under your breath before looking up into Felix’s eyes. You took a deep breath, “I got an email around the time you were about to debut. It was from your company telling me that I had to break up with you. Something about a dating ban that they had for all their new groups, but that I had to be the one to break up with you.”

“What?” Felix’s eyes grew in shock once again. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have figured something out together.” Tears were now starting to fall down his soft face.

You tried to breathe through the tears, “The email said that if they found out we were still dating they would have terminated your contract. I wasn’t going to stand between you and your dreams, Lix.”

The old nickname made his heart clench in his chest, “I am so sorry. I should have done something. I should have fought harder for you, for us. You were my everything.”

“I wouldn’t have let you risk your dream for me. You were my everything too, and that’s why I knew I had to let you go. You were my first love and a part of me will always love you. I am so stupidly proud of you Felix. I told you back in my bedroom over five years ago when you first told me you were going to Korea that I was and will always be your number one fan. And that never changed.” Your tears were starting to slow. You hoped that Felix could feel all the emotions you were pouring into your words.

Felix sniffed a couple times and wiped his hands on his face trying to dry his tears. “You were my first love too. And I know that I will always love you, forever. Can I ask a selfish question?” This piqued your interest because as long as you had known Felix he was never the selfish type. You hummed waiting for him to continue. “Can I hug you?” he sniffled once more.

A small smile appeared on your face as you stood up and opened your arms. Felix practically ran into them and crashed all his body weight on you. You instinctively brought your fingers up to his hair and started lightly scratching his scalp. Shushing him as he cried into your chest. In that moment, if you closed your eyes it almost felt like you were back in high school in your bedroom, cuddled up close to one another. In that moment, you wish you could have been selfish all those years ago and choose your relationship instead of breaking both of your hearts. But you knew deep down that you did the right thing by letting him go. And soon you would have to do it again, in a more literal sense. But for now you just held on tight to the man who would always have your heart.

A/N- I honestly couldn’t figure out if I wanted the ending to be sad or happy, so I did like a middle one. haha, I definitely could have made it more angsty or more fluffy. I have decided that the next one I do will be all fluff! I am just starting to get into writing again so feedback is always welcomed! I am hoping to take requests soon as well. Thank you for reading! xx -Nico

#skz #skz Felix #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst #skz angst #skz felix x reader #stray kids felix #skz chan #stray kids chan #stray kids felix angst #song fic #ed sheeran #uni

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