#straight passing

[the-gladiolus]

Tips For Passing as Male I Accidentally Stumbled Upon While Minding My Own Genderfluid Business:

(Btw everyone deserves to be gendered correctly no matter how they act, these are just some tips that you may try if you would like.)

1. Keep your posture open. Feet shoulder width apart and pointing out, shoulders back, chest forward, energy all directed outward. Even though you may think openness makes your chest or stature more obvious, the energy/confidence is what people notice first, not the content.

2. That said, you don’t have to hold yourself like a peacock the whole time. I’ve learned that people go off the assumption they make when first meeting you, and then don’t really look again - so if the first thing they see is a cis guy, you can relax after that, they rarely double check.

3. When it seems appropriate, offer a handshake when meeting people, especially other guys, and hold a little tighter than is strictly natural. I know it sounds stupid, but it goes far; I’ve been offered more handshakes by guys these past 2 years of somewhat masc presentation than I have all 16 previous years combined. Guys just be shakin hands w/ each other

4. Again, when it makes sense, consider “dapping up” a guy if you know each other, traditionally when you part ways. To do this, proffer your dominant hand in a loose C shape like you’re holding an invisible cup, and when they clasp theirs with yours, lift the hands a few inches in the air and then lower them and release on the way down (sometimes accompanied by opposite hand on the tricep/shoulder, I.e. bro hug. Istg the things men do 💀)

5. If you have the space and it won’t annoy anyone, manspread a bit when you sit

6. Keep your head lifted when you’re out in public - makes your jaw look broader and suggests confidence, I.e. keeping posture open

7. If you want your voice to sound lower, try humming a low note while you’re alone to see how that feels in your throat and know where that timbre comes from in your chest. It’s easier to regulate your voice on command when you experiment, find the strings to pull in yourself to bring out the low sound.

8. Consider peppering in an “as much as the next guy” in conversation. Subtle phrase, but stakes your claim clearly

9. Exude some extra anti-shyness around guys. Make a point to nod to them in greeting and make eye contact like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Little gestures of brazenness go a long way to say “we’re the same”

10. When speaking to a group of guys, try matching their vocal patterns and tone: if they say “like” and “dude” a lot for example, pepper those in too. This works in all situations actually, it will make you seem agreeable and similar to anyone, but it especially works well when you’re trying to blend in with a crowd

11. Clothes with flannel and wool are really good for disguising characteristics you might want to hide

12. Try darkening these areas (outlined in blue) of your face with eyeshadow a bit darker than your skin tone. Eyeshadow blends with skin texture better than things like foundation and it’s hard to smudge, so it’s usually unnoticeable while it adds depth and sharpness to these areas.

#transmasc #transgender #trans guy #trans tips #trans #trans man #trans ftm #trans masc #trans things #everyone I meet thinks I’m a guy help #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #straight passing #trans passing

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

rb for sample size

Asking for a friend

#Polls #tumblr polls #Lgbtq #Straight passing #Bisexual #please reblog

[softbutchthatlovesyou]

I want to talk about the terms White, Straight and Cis passing privilage... And how they're kind of inaccurate to the average passing persons experience.

It is not a privilege to have to shove down, hide, or escape a part of your identity for your well being and safety. It is also not a privilege to have people ignore oart of your identity for their comfortability. The only privilege is when people know and respect your identity unfaulteringly.

Mixed folks who have lighter skin or straightened hair aren't experiencing privilege. They're experiencing white people projecting whiteness and erasing their color. That is hurtful and any advantages are quickly lost if you dare argue with them on how they see you. It's also lost if you stand up for fellow poc or the issues their community faces.

Bisexuals who are having either Straight and Gay people assign them heterosexual even though many preach "don't assume or force anyone to out themselves." It's not a privilege I imagine tl be told that you look straight when you aren't. I as a masc butch I don't feel validated being called straight why would a bisexual?? Also with the ammount of families who project their want for you to be with the opposite sex/gender even after you come out is a major fucking loss actually.

Being cis passing means shit comments, the risk of being outed and then hurt, and other queers projecting their belief there is a "gay look" on you to the point where they'll act like you're on cis peoples side for "following the binary too close."

Personally I think it should be called _____ passing safety or something similar?

Because that's the main reason people hide themselves to pass. And it's the reason they don't argue when someone assigns them and identity. Is because of fear of backlash, harm, or even the risk of death.

Idk it's not fully fleshed (So feel free to add your own thoughts on the matter) out but privilege implies gain, and none of those really gain youanything. Especially if it can be taken at. moments notice if they learn who you actually are.

#gideons talking time #white passing #straight passing #cis passing #racism #colorism #bisexual #biphobia #transgender #transphobia #passing safety

[xqueerneurosisx]

Sorry not sorry, but do y’all not understand what a spit in the face to closeted people in our community it is to announce that “passing as straight,” is some kind of fucking advantage above you that what? ~deserves less resources~ or some bullshit?

It’s not “passing as straight,” you selfish fucking buffoons, it’s called survival.

People still need to stay in the closet to survive, and y’all are acting like a dating partner is gonna- what, “shield some of us” from bigotry? That’s the most backwards shit I’ve ever seen.

#lgbtq discourse #mogai discourse #queer discourse #straight passing #straight passing privilege #straight passing discourse

[alarrytale]

Sorry for the really stupid question. I'm straight but I'm really interested in the lgbtq+ community. I see a lot of comments about how Harry is straight presenting and Shawn is gay presenting. I don't know if that's the right terms but the gay community specifically recognizes Shawn as one of them but they don't recognize Harry as one of them which is a reason for the queerbaiting discourse, because Harry doesn't act like a stereotypical gay man. I know about Shawn but don't follow him much. I just wondered what is it that they're picking up from him but not Harry. Because both men have beards and Shawn did a denial. What's the difference. If that makes sense. Also what would Harry have to do for them to recognize him as one of their own, without needing to CO? Thanks

Hi, anon!

There is no need to apologise! I don't follow Shawn much either, but i think what queers are picking up on are stereotypes combined with queercoding and queerbaiting. The gaydar is going off. There is also not much gaslighting going on. Shawn isn't really making much of an effort to appear straight.

Shawn is living up to every queer stereotype, he's naturally effeminate, emotional, has a submissive personality, is twink-ish, and is soft spoken with a feminine speaking tone. He's into yoga. He's done some homoerotic underwear shoots and other scantily clad photoshoots that's like catnip to gay men. He flirts with gay men (that he's also rumoured to be sleeping with) on social media and in person, he queercodes, says he likes men in crop tops, and have no sexual or romantical chemistry with women. He looks like their gay best friend. He's also had mental health struggles that he's hinted are about wanting to live his truth. There are thousands of blind items about him being gay, no straight rumours at all.

Shawn's looks, mannerisms and way of being are natural to him and it's authentic. Shawn acts, dresses and behaves the same in every setting and environment. He's not gaying it up on stage or for the camera. He's just being Shawn.

Harry does not fit the gay man stereotype. He's an alpha male. He's got several masculine traits. He's got a deep voice, a masculine body, no effeminate traits or mannerisms (unless you know what to look for), he's into hypermasculine sports like american football and boxing. He hangs out with men and has primarily male friends. He takes ice baths for fucks sake and golfs. He dresses like a frat boy when he's not working an event. So for him to communicate and signal to the queer community that he's gay he needs to queercode through fashion and adopt a more stereotypically gay man behaviour that doesn’t come naturally to him.

When he is on stage or in front of a camera he puts on a flamboyant persona and an act to show people he's gay. Since he's not naturally effeminate and people don't clock him as gay just by observing him, he's got to exaggerate the flamboyance and camp. He needs to make his songs gay. His problem is that when he's off stage he's back to snogging a stick thin female supermodel wearing his frat boy clothes and sporting buzzed hair. Since queers pick up on the inauthenticity and the discrepancy between H on stage and off stage, people are mad that his gay performance is just that, a performance. He isn't wearing nailpolish when golfing and his queer lyrics means nothing when he's only ever dated women. Queers want real queer representation and he isn't giving them it with his double personality/sexuality. It seems like he's doing it for attention, shock value and to attract queers as a target audience.

Masculine gay men/straight passing gay men will always struggle with queerbaiting accusations as long as they're closeted and project both gay and straight at the same time. H's problem is that he's so extreme about his projections. So i think a solution would be to bridge the gap. Be a bit more authentic and himself. Either he could tone down the gay on stage (H would hate it, please don't) or he could tone down his straight image (Sony would riot).

Effeminate gay men have the opposite problem, and a much more difficult task. They need to tone down their natural mannerisms and behaviour and ramp up the straight image. It's against their nature and it's difficult to make it seem authentic. It's also hard on their mental health (see Shawn and Louis).

I think for H to be recognised as gay by his community without having to come out he needs to stop stunting with feminine women. Heteronormativity is so ingrained in people, as are stereotypes. So when he doesn’t fit the gay stereotype, has been connected to 85 different women in his 14 year career, and is gaslighting his fans, that's hard to look past for queer people and the gp.

#queerbaiting #queercoding #harry image #shawn mendes #straight passing #gaslighting

[frogsare-friends]

"straight passing privilege" isn't real.

1. stop stealing terms from people of color. no ifs and/or buts.

2. two lesbians or two gay men can be seen as straight and just friends but we call that sexuality being erased not privilege. wonder why?

3. you're implying and relying in the fact that all bi people and their partners are cis and don't "look queer" (which isn't true, and while there's no way to look queer homophobes will clock you as queer whether it's true or not).

4. you're just using it as a way to separate bi people from queerness. it is biphobic

no, recognizing that bi people and gay men/lesbians have different experiences isn't biphobic. but nobody ever wants to admit it's true when it means biphobia exists and isn't just homophobia. yall only wanna talk abt it when it gives you a chance to be biphobic. stop it. bi people aren't any less queer, stop trying to come up with terms that aren't blatantly biphobic to get people to agree with you.

#queer community #biphopia #bi people exist #bisexual #queer pride #queer #straight passing

[jiabeewrites]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BESTIES!!!

pride poll: misc! bc everyone belongs at pride :D

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

HAPPY FUCKING PRIDE!!!

#pride 2023 #pride #pride month #the closet #polyamory #queer religion #affirmation surgery #neurodiversity #neopronouns #qpr #queerplatonic #straight passing #straight passing relationships #PROUD! #happy pride 🌈

[awkadoodledoo]

My husband: Honey, I've just found out devastating news for our marriage.

Me: Is Chris Evans getting a divorce already?

My husband: No, Greece legalized same sex marriage. Meaning you can now get gay married in the island of Lesbos.

Me: Oh. Hmm. Yes this does not bode well.

#marriage #straight passing #bisexual #bisexual problems #marriage life #married life #same sex marriage

[inthenameofallthingsholy]

Straight Passing Ships I Adore

Are these based with internalized gender roles from my upbringing? Perhaps. Do I care? Not really

Also known as “She’s a lady and I am just a boy” ships.

#Straight passing #Bi x Bi #Bisexual #panseuxal #agents of shield #fitzsimmons #DCAU #justice leauge unlimited #wonderbat #star wars #han x leia #scoundress #star trek voyager #janeway x chakotay #she ra and the princess of power fanart #she ra #glimbow #marauders era #jily #lockwood and co netflix #lockwood and co #locklyle #bridgerton #kanthony #kathony

[octobussyy]

I find it annoying when people bring up being 'straight passing' when talking about bi people as some kind of privilege.

First off, people of any sexuality can be 'straight passing', bi people aren't gonna be the exception there. There is no definitive model on what straight people look like.

Second, just because I'm bi it doesn't mean I 'look straight', bitch I'm a lanky guy wearing makeup, nail varnish and a choker, you this some straight dude is gonna treat me like another straight dude just because I'm holding my gf's hand??

Third...why are you trying to start infighting within the LGBTQ+ community, we should be focused on discrimination the we all face, not trying to have some type of persecution measuring contest.

#biphopia #straight passing #196 #r/196 #bisexual #rant

[lesbianloveisreal]

It's really easy to tell queer people who are active, involved, or otherwise in the community culture (to the best of their ability) compared to one's that use "queer" as a fun little label.

Is their label still valid? Sure. I don't care. I honestly am over having to say "you're valid you're valid you're valid" to people because they are, and that's that. I'm not spending my entire night at the only place I can hug my gf in public to explain why someone more privileged than I am is valid. We can discuss other things about it.

But just because you are valid doesn't mean you aren't harmful to the community with your behavior and lack of understanding of our community and culture.

Etc. (As a nonbinary lesbian that is "straight passing" when im alone (I hate this term but whatever) )

If I'm saying or doing something that harms people in the community that are MORE OPPRESSED THAN I AM then I am actively harming our community.

If I go in and start harassing butches or trans people I am using my privileges to hurt our community.

If I start getting mad that butch women aren't talking and flirting with me when (at least in my local community) it is more often expected for femmes to make the first move, I am actively not using our queer cultural "rules" in that moment in my local community.

So, maybe if you notice your local queer community (especially people more oppressed than you) getting upset with you being there MAYBE it's not about your identity at all.

MAYBE if they kick you out, you are doing a disservice to your local community *after all nonqueers are usually allowed in those spaces too*

And please don't give me that "straight passing isn't a privilege" yes it is.

Can it still be annoying? Yes. But I know butch women that can't get jobs, get attacked while walking down the street, have had to leave places because someone threatened them, have gotten things thrown at them, had people scream at them at work, etc.

#butch #lesbian #lgbtq #sapphic #butch dyke #dyke #lgbtqia+ #queer #trans #bi #ace #pan #cishet #privilege #straight passing #straight passing privilege #your boyfriend is SAing the lesbian bartender thats why we are having issues #you tried to force a gay man to take off his pants #you kept asking me if i was a lesbian then laughing in my face when i said yes #you kept handing money to random gay men and asking them to dance for you #you kept trying to get me and my friend to kiss because you said lesbians cant just be friends

[pilgrimbright]

I love my boyfriend in the most sapphic way possible

#lgbtq #bisexual #pansexual #pan pride #straight passing #i love my boyfriend but its gay #non binary #nb #enby

[gayingawaythepray]

#personal #straight passing privilege #straight passing #identity erasure #biphobia #panphobia #aphobia #pride #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #lgbtq #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #transgender #queer #intersex #aromantic #asexual #infographic #art #digital art #photoshop #photoshop art #photoshop artist #artists on tumblr #artist on tumblr #annemarieyeretzian

[xqueerneurosisx]

Actually, while I’m on this, I’ll say something about passing with gender too:

Yes, we can acknowledge that outside perceptions of gender identity can be part of it, but cis people, you do not get to tell us in the trans community what passing means to us. The term is by the trans community for the trans community. We use it to communicate our own experiences and fucking with that is a gross thing to do.

#transgender discourse #trans discourse #trans passing #straight passing #straight passing privilege

[alarrytale]

I know we argue about gay stereotypes but straight passing gay men (not talking about Harry) usually see things differently. I haven't often heard/seen straight passing gay men complain about the stereotypes, quite the opposite. It doesn't bother them when people assume they're straight because they will just correct them and their sexuality isn't a big part of their identity. They enjoy privileges they get like people not being homophobic. If they are looking for a partner then they know how to queercode. They'll turn it on when they want to. Other than that they're happy to be left alone lol. Most see it as a positive thing.

Hi, anon!

That's true. Straight passing gay men enjoy straight privileges. They're more accepted for being gay because they're more relatable to straight people. They aren’t as foreign or alien to straight people as non straight passing gay men are. Straight passing gay men assimilate to a straight society to continue enjoying straight privileges. Just notice how many straight passing gay males are elected into office or are appointed leaders. Even though it's a positive thing that queer people succeed in a straight society, it's a bitter pill to swallow that they need to look, act and behave straight in order to get the opportunity in the first place, knowing that they probably wouldn't if they weren't straight passing, willing to assimilate or conform to a straight society.

Straight passing gay males also hardly help with queer normalisation and with ending homophobia. Non straight passing gay men are still seen as foreign. Some straight people still claim they're not homophobic, and say that queer people are okay, but they shouldn't flaunt it. It's like saying you can be queer if you assimilate to our straight society and look and behave like a straight person. They're validated by the straight passing and assimilating gay men who does just that. It's a survival thing for some straight passing gay men and it's better than staying closeted, but it's not showing solidarity with the non straight passing or the ones who refuse to assimilate and values free self-expression. So it's tricky.

#idk what to tag #queercoding #straight passing #heteronormativity

[witherbee]

stop saying people are "straight passing"

let me tell you why

when we say someone is "straight passing," that places an intention or an action on the person who is being perceived as straight. when we say someone is "straight passing" what we're implying is "that person made intentional choices and has decided to look straight / not look queer. they decided to pass." it puts the responsibility on the person being perceived instead of the person doing the perceiving.

instead of this, i think we should say someone is "straight assumed"

the verb "assumed" puts the responsibility on the person making the assumption. we don't know shit about that person. we don't know what their sexuality is. we don't know their relationship to their identity. if we assume that they're straight based on their appearance, that's our fucking problem.

the language we use matters and we should stop making people feel like they're not queer enough because of the assumptions we make about them.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #straight passing #straight assumed #visibly queer #queer people #molly what the fuck are you on about?