#story time i guess

[janeway-lover]

woman walks up to the host stand with a drawstring bag

me: “Hello”

”I’ve got people in there but this is for you”

hands me the bag

ive never seen this woman before

”I work in human trafficking, there’s a t shirt, high end makeup, just some stuff for women in there”

now I’m just holding this bag

at my job

”Thank you?”

and she just goes and sits down with her family

i have no idea what just happened

#story time I guess #do I look like an at risk youth? #I’m working right now ma’am what

[greenteacryptid]

In high-school I used to wear enamel pins alot and one time I wore one of Fern from adventure time and this kid I'd never spoken to before came up to me and said "oh my god, Pickle Rick" and nothing else

#im so glad im not in high-school anymore #shitpost #shitposting #haha funny #chaoscore #story time i guess #what the fuck do i say to that #adventure time #being the weird kid

[keithbutgay]

Last year in my bio class someone had drawn Atsushi on the board. And my best friend retaliated by drawing Dazai. I had not seen Bungou Stray Dogs at the time so I kind of just went "cool drawings" and left it at that

But then the next day Kyouka appeared

And then Kunikida

And at that point I had to join in, right?

So I looked up a new character every other day and drew them on the whiteboard and soon we had the whole cast just sitting in the bio classroom

And then it was erased. It was a sad day for all.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #story time i guess #felt like sharing

[gallium-spoon]

We're short staffed at work right now and I'm our only full time OT so I've been pulling a lot of weight the last couple weeks

As I was finishing up my work today my manager threatened to wrap me in bubble wrap and store me in the back office so I can't do anything risky over the weekend

It feels nice to be needed?? 😅

#my work #my job #story time i guess #my poor manager is so stressed right now #last week she forbade me from getting the head cold that was going around 🤣 #it worked though! i didn't get sick #maybe because i mask but idk its more likely my manager is magic

[astral-from-afar]

Achievement unlocked: Reunite with an old childhood friend who I thought left the country a decade ago.

#astral writes #story time i guess #there is a girl in my further maths class #she joined externally #and I didn't know for sure if it was my old childhood friend #since a) there could be other kids named that #and b) the last time I saw her was when I was 7 #but while I was walking to our class #I saw her and was trying so hard to make conversation #<- 0 words came out of my mouth #then she asked if I went to (insert my primary school) #and boy I was so caught off guard #we did get to talk for a few minutes before sitting down #but now I really want to speak to her again

[enrapture]

I low-key miss smoking weed because it would make my pussy so extremely wet and turned on. Fun fact whenever I smoked, I would feel anxiety and the first thing I would do to distract myself to not feel anxious was fuck. LMAO. And anytime I fucked the person I was with we would exchange each others oxygen to the point where we were just sharing it constantly. Moaning into each others mouths just over and over again. God, it was so hot. So turned on. So wet. So sweet. I low key miss those days but weed makes me so anxious I tried it a few years ago and didn’t have a good time at all :,( I guess it depends on the strain but still.

I’m gonna try cbd again sometime soon.

#personal #story time I guess #thoughts #on my mind rn

[ferals-shitposts]

MY FRIENDS PERSONA IS A DOVE HARPY

My younger sibling and I were chillin downstairs and they were picking at this little shitty Easter themed gingerbread house. There were these colored candy eggs on the roof that they were monchin on. My sibling being the menace to society they are, asks in a humorous manner "Do you think Echo (friends persona) laid these?" And I laughed.

And then, to my deep regret.

I thought.

They dared me to go ask. So of course as the courageous older sibling I am, I go upstairs to my computer and hop on into Echos DM's to ask the question.

I have never had a more uncomfortable conversation with an online friend in my life. At one point I said "I feel like I'm having 'the talk' about harpies. And as much as I hate that. It does not diminish my curiosity." To which they yelled at me that we are NOT calling this "the talk" I shout back that it's an uncomfortable and awkward conversation about reproduction. What else is "the talk" if not what I just described?

My eight braincells hold forbidden knowledge. I have been told to forget. To never relay this cursed tale to anyone else, lest the hand of the gods strike me down on the spot.

So now I know why we call it "The birds and the bees."

Respectfully, I am sobbing.

The answer was yes.

#harpies #uncomfortable #story time i guess #tumblr stories #Is this Tumblr worthy? #I have so many more questions that I simply cannot ask #harpy #easter eggs #story time #am i funny yet #regret #Why did god choose me to be the prophet of this forsaken world #Why must I be the one to ask the big questions #They lay eggs guys. How am I supposed to deal with this information. #girl help

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever... #bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

[gatorinator]

“Walrus on your doorstop” this “fairy’s more unrealistic” that my professor just uttered the sentence “there was one day I found a real octopus in my backyard” this man hasn’t left Utah his entire life. How was there an octopus in his backyard in Utah. He then said “I do not have time to elaborate we need to cover a lot today in class” GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEEAN

#al speaks #we are fifteen minutes into class and still haven’t had any class cuz he was telling a story. wdym you don’t have time for the octopus story #stop class I want to know everything. I guess he would say he would be more surprised to see a fairy than a walrus #walrus or fairy

[hesitantalienshe]

Had the most horrific conversation with a coworker . Some of us were talking about Gym Class Heroes and we were like GCH reunion WHEN. Which is one of the most 20-something year old New Yorker conversations you can really have when it comes to that genre. And one of them was like . Don’t hate me but I want a Panic! at the Disco reunion. And I was like fucking WORD? Let’s talk Pretty Odd. And he was like I never really listened to that one but here let me put some on I know you’d fuck with this Feliks. And motherfucker puts on Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time. I was mortified . I’ve never felt so misunderstood . And yet . Shit’s still catchy. It’s a hell of feeling though….

#story time I guess #mic check 1 2 #gch #panic

[maybe-a-crow-maybe-a-dragon]

Working class men are amazingly scary sometimes. My fiancee's dad is fucking ancient and we got a call the other day telling us that he was in the hospital because he wouldn't wake up and when he finally did he was extremely unresponsive. His blood oxygen level was extremely low and he was unlikely to make it. We stayed the night at my future in-laws' house to watch the family dogs and be close by in case he worsened.

The next day we're told that it's "just" pneumonia and they pumped his lungs and put a sensor on him. He was already on an oxygen machine regularly, but now he's back to normal.

Humans are wild sometimes.

#story time i guess

[keithbutgay]

I'm on the robotics team of a Catholic high school, and we name all our tools. We have Hard Man the anderson crimp, Rusty the vice, Lemy the label maker and so on.

I'm also on the electronic committee. Which means we're in charge of the batteries- naming them, crimping them, all that jazz. Our battery crimp is named Lucifer.

Anyway a few days ago, Lucifer went missing. And I had to go running around yelling "WHERE IS LUCIFER" while my religion teachers looked on in horror

As well as this, we have a battery named Jesus. And guess who we used to crimp it

#we also have a hatsune miku battery #and an anderson crimp named Hard Man #frc #robotics #story time i guess

[gallium-spoon]

I had a fairly long uber ride today and my driver told me that on long drives he likes to let the passenger pick the music and asked me what I wanted to listen to

So I'm thinking oh god what's music I like that makes me seem Normal (tm)

I stayed the course long enough to suggest two fairly mainstream pop songs before I broke and, in a very on brand move, I suggested we listen to Epiphany from Sweeney Todd. I even had him skip past the movie version and put on the Len Cariou version (because it's the best)

Anyways the lesson is that authenticity is the best policy because my Uber driver told me he's never seen Sweeney Todd but he liked the song and I got to info dump about the musical for a bit and the he put on the Assassin's Creed soundtrack and info dumped to me about Assassin's Creed for a bit

So we both had a good time and got to talk about something we really enjoyed!

#sweeney todd #assassin's creed #uber #story time i guess

[egophiliac]

(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door' #oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!! #3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!! #SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious! #though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all? #grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭 #which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody! #i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

[enderteegs]

so picture you’re me: getting up at the crack of dawn because you have to go work because you got stuck with earliest shift ever: you go set up the stuff you need to for the church that uses your building: then you sit at the computer in the office because you have to deal with a bunch of emails that neither of the two managers working the night before bothered to do: and as you’re doing your little emails: a fucking white spider the size of a quarter falls down from his web approximately 2 inches from your face: you are absolutely terrified of spiders: you launch back approximately 10 feet in the rolling chair you’re sitting in to the entire other side of the room and you can feel your heart beating out of your chest: you thank any gods that may exist that it did not fall on your head: you are an atheist: you swear way too many times that is appropriate for the situation and very quickly realize the full extent of your situation: you are the only person in the building other than the church group leaders that are in the lobby: you realize you cannot get them to come and get the spider because that shit is embarrassing and you have crippling social anxiety and the thought of that makes you want to jump out of a window: you film a little video for your friends because SOMEONE needs to know the horror you are witnessing: after you do: the spider falls onto the desk: crawls on your allergy medicine that you were about to take: you open the door to find a broom the quickest you possibly can: you don’t want the spider to disappear the second you look away: it doesn’t: yay?: you take the broom and from the farthest away possible you attempt to brush the spider to the floor: it takes two tries: but you succeed: step 2: there’s a napkin on the floor: you move it towards the spider with your foot and attempt to kill it with you foot: with the napkin between your shoe and the spider of course: because you already stepped in cat shit leaving your house this morning and you are not in the mood: you attempt a good 15 times before you feel confident that the spider is dead: you leave the napkin where it is: you are not fucking with that: you now sit for 10 minutes scoping out the ceiling and surrounding areas for any more suspecting dive-bombers: and to top it all off: while you’re sitting there trying to recover from your trauma: you promptly realize that your best friend’s birthday is actually today and not two days from now because you are a dumbass and mess it up every time: you think it was karma.

#IM HAVING A DAY AND ITS ONLY 9AM #story time i guess #txt

[jackedknife]

Could you draw a tf2 character lineup?

The slowest drawer on this website reports on duty🫡

First time drawing the whole team together woo!

#i suffer from the chronic lack of time #i’ve done most of the drawing during my shift #which was hell #me all the time being like ‘please nobody come or want anything from me #I need to draw my silly old men #and scout 😒 #and pyro i guess?? #anyway end of story time #tf2 #my art #tf2 fanart #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 demoman #tf2 sniper #tf2 heavy