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artificial-transmutations · 9 months

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Country Boys

Walter glanced nervously at the car clock as the black company car hobbled over ill maintained roads. He didn't mean to be so obvious, but the younger man on the passenger seat picked up on it immediately.

"Are we going to be late?" asked the young man with the carefully styled black hair and the immaculate suite.

"Probably", answered Walter. He, too, was wearing a suit as he had done on every working day for the last twenty years. His suit tidy as well, of course, although not quite as much as the one the trainee was wearing. His slowly graying hair was combed and neat, but over the years he had stopped caring too much about looking perfect. He was good at his job, but the real secret to selling insurance policies wasn't to look like a suit model. It was all about charisma.

"That's not what worries me, though. If they live that far out, they deserve to wait for a few minutes. Besides, it's a pathetic deal, only a minor upsell regarding a small farmhouse. Barely worth driving out here if you asked me."

Walters tone left no doubt on what he thought about it.

Harry, the trainee next to him, looked at Walter quizzically.

"But Sir, isn't it company policy to value each of our customers the same, no matter how big the deal is?"

Walter shot a disapproving glance at Harry and snorted, almost laughing. "Oh, come on, Harry. I'm sure you know that's bullshit. You need to figure out who is important and who isn't. A small farmer in the middle of nowhere? Not important, won't pay much anyway. The CEO of a multinational company like the one we are meeting this afternoon? Very important, that's where the money is." Walter made a hand gesture as if to swat away Harry's naive suggestion. "The farm they live on? Oh, I don't think it's even worth 50 thousand. But don't worry, it's good practice to make the deal if the client wants it. Still, if we spend too much time out here, we will be late for our actually important appointment."

Harry looked unhappy with the explanation but before he could answer, Walter saw a signpost. "Ah, that's them. It should be just up ahead."

He turned his attention back to the road and stopped the car. They had arrived at the driveway of the farm they were supposed to visit.

Before leaving the car and following Walter, Harry quickly checked his reflection in the rear view mirror. This was going to be his first sale today and he needed to look sharp for it! He straightened his suit, checked his hair one last time and finally got out of the car.

The small farmhouse was a real dump. It had seen better days and the garden was overgrown. Walter gave the impression of a man who didn't like being here.

"I can't wait to get back to civilization" he muttered under his breath, while Harry passed him and knocked at the door.

"Sir! We are from Gastins, the insurance company, we..."

He was interrupted by the farmer opening the doors. The man was massive, hairy and dirty. Harry couldn't really tell if he was smiling because of the dense beard that adorned his face.

"... talked on the phone." Harry finished his sentence, a bit quieter.

The farmer took a long look at the both of them before giving a grunt, somewhere between permissive and disapproving and went back into the house, leaving the door open.

Harry looked to Walter in search for reassurance, but the older man just shrugged and mouthed an inaudible "your client".

Straightening his back, Harry put on a charming smile and followed the farmer inside.

The interior didn't look much better than the outside. The furniture was mostly wooden and worn, but sturdy and well made. The old wallpaper looked like it hadn't been changed for the last twenty years and it felt like it might start peeling off any moment.

"Sir, my name is Harry, and this is Walter. We are from the Gastin insurance company." Harry introduced himself properly. "We already talked on the phone, and I have the necessary documents with me to discuss the expansion of your current insurance policy. If I may?"

After a nod of the farmer, Harry sat down on the kitchen table and opened his laptop.

He quickly checked his browser history to find the email he had been working on the night before and began his sales pitch. "Your current insurance coverage covers everything that might befall your house and your belongings, which is excellent. However, we here at Gastin Insurance also offer additional insurance for houses that you can buy."

Harry was excellently prepared and navigated the farmer through the new contract, making sure to explain everything in great detail so the other man wouldn't be surprised by anything that might or might not happen.

The older, bearded man listened carefully but didn't speak a lot. From time to time, he had a surprisingly clever question that Harry had no problem answering. Even though Walter, who mostly sat and watched the trainee, glanced at his clock more than once, Harry had the feeling this was going to be a sure deal.

So, it came as a big surprise when finally, after a good two hours of presenting the new contract, the farmer crossed his arms in front of his muscular chest and shook his head. "Sorry, kid, but no."

Harry swallowed. This wasn't the reaction he expected, and it certainly wasn't what he wanted to hear. "That... comes as a bit of a surprise, Sir. Can you explain why?"

The older farmer sighed. "Your paperwork checks out and you're an honest kid, but all in all, you're just a city boy, not a real honest and down-to-earth man. I've made it my principle to never trust a city boy and I'm not gonna change that."

Walter stood up, clearly annoyed. "Why didn't you say so from the beginning? You could have saved us all a lot of time. Now, if you'll excuse us..."

He didn't get to finish, because Harry raised his hand and interrupted Walter. "I'm sorry that you feel that way, Sir, but I assure you, both of us are absolutely honest and grounded men. Please allow us to prove it to you."

Walter looked at Harry and pointed at his watch less than subtle. This time it was Harry who mouthed a "my client." to him, making Walter roll his eyes.

The farmer was clearly surprised by Harry's request and scratched his beard. "I suppose. Tell you what. If you manage to repair the fence outside, I'll sign your contract, 'cause you're clearly a man then."

Harry nodded enthusiastically, while Walter looked at him with a disbelieving stare. "We will get right to it!" asserted Harry and was already at the door.

Grimacing, Walter followed the trainee, and only once they were outside, out of earshot of the farmer, he angrily began to speak: "What the hell was that about? We certainly don't have time to repair a stupid fence! Just let it go, that guy isn't worth it."

Harry turned to Walter, his eyes burning with determination. "This is my client. I have to prove myself to him." He went to a nearby shed and opened the door, grabbing a toolbox.

Walter watched the trainee for a moment, shaking his head, but eventually followed.

"Do you even know how to repair a fence?" Walter asked while looking at the tools.

"No, but I will learn." Harry said simply while picking up a hammer. "*We* will learn" he corrected himself and gestured towards the toolbox.

Walter sighed again and shook his head but grabbed a wrench and got to work on the fence anyway.

Although the ground was wet and muddy, the sun was burning hot from the sky and quickly, both men were pretty sweaty. Of course, a fine suit wasn't the ideal piece of clothing for manual labor, so it was only a matter of time until there were several mud stains and a few holes in Harry's jacket. The area under his arms was wet from his sweat, and he was feeling uncomfortable in the suit, like it wasn't fitting him properly. He took his jacket and shirt off, while Walter stared at him.

"What?" Harry asked, suddenly insecure about his body.

Walter shook his head again, as if to clear it, before answering. "You know, I didn't expect that from you."

"Better than ruining it", Harry replied and added: "Perhaps you should take off yours, too."

Reluctantly, Walter agreed and soon, both men were working topless. Harry couldn't help but be somewhat impressed. He had guessed that Walter would be weak and probably would sport a beer belly under his shirt. However, the older man was actually pretty fit. In fact, the longer they worked, the more details Harry noticed that somehow didn't fit the Walter he was used to. His toned muscles, his flat stomach, the light tan. No, something wasn't right.

When Harry looked to Walter's face, he would find his suspicions verified: Something weird was going on! Harry had been certain Walter had had graying hairs - but the unkempt hair on top of the other man's head was anything but gray - it was dark and full.

"Say, how old are you again, Walter?" Harry asked. His own voice sounded funny, too. Deeper somehow.

"32" answered Walter immediately. "No, wait, that's wrong. I'm... 31?" The last part sounded like a question, but it fit his surprisingly masculine and handsome body. However, Harry was more focused on his own appearance right now. His body looked alien to him: It was way fitter, tanner and broader than he was used to - and it looked somewhat older than he was used to, too.

"Is anything wrong?" The smooth and dark voice of his coworker, sounding like dark honey was new and Harry looked at Walter again. Surprisingly youthful, with a sweaty and muddy body full of muscles and a mildly concerned face was what met his eye. There was no doubt, this was a long way from the former Walter. Still, Harry couldn't look away. The masculine body with the light coating of hair and the five o clock shadow had him captivated. But the gentle and friendly brown eyes sucked him in, and he could hardly look away. What was happening to him? To them both? Harry had been certain he was straight, but when he looked at the other man, he felt butterflies in his stomach, and he could feel his body reacting.

"Hehe. Is that for me?" Walt asked with a hint of amusement and pointed down. Following his finger, Harry noticed that he had a clearly visible boner that was stretching his brown work shorts, mirroring the similar bulge in Walt's pants. Didn't he wear suit pants just some minutes ago?

No, that didn't make sense. He had never worn a suit in his life, that was city boy attire. He was a country man and only put on practical clothing and sturdy boots. However, that wasn't very important. He smiled and brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes before grinning at Walt mischievously.

"I think it's time for a break."

#male transformation #muscle transformation #dumbing down #straight to gay

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jo-harrington · 1 year

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Corrective Action (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Reader and Eddie have been hanging out for a little while and a lot of people seem to think it’s ok to voice their opinion around her.

Previous Part: Interview Prep

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Mutual pining and slow burn (yes still, always). Bullying, manipulative/helicopter parents, ACAB, all around shitty people that might trigger some things. Thick skinned reader who is sick of said shitty people. Sad boy Eddie. Hurt/Comfort. Pinky promises.

Note: I really hope this one is good guys, I feel like I wrote half of this in an airport wishing I was actually drinking (I did and I was, but I'm sober and kind of currently wishing I wasn't). If this is me fishing for compliments...I guess this is just yummy bait.

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager (in chronological order because I’m chaotic and I’m not gonna stop writing this way) and all of my other random Eddie Headcanons.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

It started with Stacey at work.

You were sitting at the little desk in the stockroom, working out payroll and the next schedule, when she came to clock out.

“Hey, good job today on upselling diamonds,” you told her, incredibly proud. While she was great at customer service, she really had a hard time getting customers to add to their basket. You had worked on coaching her and she was quickly becoming your best sales associate. “I’m proud of you, you’ve been doing so great!”

“Yeah thanks! All of these rich PTA moms I swear to god,” she rolled her eyes. “I guess my mom was only a hard ass if I asked her to buy me things though. If anyone else tried to sell things to her, she always caved.”

She continued going on about her mom getting all the upgrades when she got a new car.

“…Mr. Harrington almost started singing when she finally signed the lease.” She laughed but then sobered up, glancing around the stockroom to see if anyone else was around. Stacey cleared her throat. “Hey I’ve been meaning to ask…”

“What’s up?”

“Are you, like…dating Eddie Munson?”

It would have been an innocent enough question if not for her tone. Or the way she grimaced and scrunched her nose, as if just saying his name put a bad taste in her mouth.

Eddie had been wary of your interactions with Stacey from the beginning, you recalled. And when you had asked him why later on, he beat around the bush a little before giving in.

She was someone who had been in his classes for as long as he could remember, she was not a cheerleader but certainly one of the popular girls, and when her jock boyfriend got a job at the local insurance office after missing his chances at getting an athletic scholarship, she stayed behind too and made all of the local gossip her business.

And for some reason, even if he swore he never remembered saying more than two words to her at any given time, she made rumors about him her specialty.

You’d been at a loss. On the one hand, you knew Eddie dealt with bullies and rumors even if he never outright admitted it to you. But on the other, you had no reason to distrust Stacey. All you knew about the people you worked with were just what they told you and what you were able to witness while working together. And you knew Stacey engaged in all sorts of gossip. But Eddie’s name had never exited her mouth.

Until now.

“What?” You were so shocked at the entire scenario that you didn’t even realize she would take that as an invitation for her to continue.

“Well he’s been hanging around the store and I’ve seen you guys sitting together sometimes. But like…well, haven’t you heard?” She got closer and sat in the chair next to you. “He, like, sacrifices virgins in the woods and has, I don’t know, summoned demons before. He’s a Satanist, a freak.”

You bristled at the name-calling and the accusations.

“Stace—“

”And you’re new so of course you don’t know—“

“Stacey I’m gonna stop you right there,” you held up your hand and she immediately shut up and sat up a little straighter. “First of all, it is incredibly inappropriate to ask me about my personal life. About any aspect of it, outside of what I willingly share with you. I am your boss, I’m not your friend, this isn’t high school. We are all entitled to privacy and I am incredibly uncomfortable discussing this with you.

“Second, again not that you need to know, but no. I am not dating Eddie. Eddie works here in StarCourt and you make friends with people when you work at a shopping mall. That being said, Eddie is not only an employee at StarCourt, but also a human being and a neighbor to all of us—”

“Ew no he isn’t. He lives in that—“ she started but you weren’t having any of it.

“And because of that he deserves some respect. Calling someone a freak and spreading rumors isn’t respectful. Which leads me to the last point.

“One of the values of this company is integrity. Doing the right thing, even if it’s hard to do. And I’m sorry but bullying, under any circumstance, is not the right thing to do. So even though you are off the clock, you are still on company property and you are certainly not operating with integrity. I’m incredibly disappointed that I have to have this kind of conversation with you, but I will consider this a warning for next time.

“If I hear talk like this coming from you again, there will be disciplinary action,” you concluded. “Do you understand?”

You hated to do it, you hated to put on the manager pants. You hated that Stacey’s eyes welled with tears the longer you talked and that she trembled as she finally nodded. But even if Eddie wasn’t your friend, you wouldn’t condone this kind of behavior. You held your team to an incredibly high standard and this wasn’t it.

You sent Stacey home and got back to the schedule with a sour taste in your mouth.

---

The next time, you were actually out with Eddie.

He had told you that the sunrise at the old quarry was second to none and when you confessed that you had never actually watched the sunset or the sunrise before, he immediately figured out the best day for you to go together.

He had put together a picnic with all sorts of breakfast foods, because apparently no one made pancakes, bacon, and eggs better than he did—

“Got an A+ in home ec, thank you very much. Didn’t help me get my GPA up but Wayne is pretty happy when I have breakfast waiting for him after a double shift.”

—and treats from the gas station since he insisted that you needed to experience all of the convenience food he loved. There was a thermos full of coffee and a boat load of blankets in the back of the van. He picked you up at your apartment, ringing the bell at ass o’clock in the morning looking way too energetic for someone who woke up so early.

“What do you mean? I never went to sleep!”

The radio was low as he drove you towards the outskirts of town; he’d also surprised you with a replacement of your old Boston cassette that you had nearly played to death, and he hummed along and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel along with Foreplay.

You reached a certain sign on the road signaling the quarry was up ahead, only for the tell tale lights and “whoop whoop” of a squad car to sound off from behind you. Eddie cursed and pulled off to the side of the road.

“Sweetheart can you grab me, uh” he motioned for the glove box. You’d already popped it open and dug through to find his registration as he pulled the wallet from his pocket. “Thanks.”

The crunch of gravel caused Eddie to look at this side mirror and groan a low, drawn out “fuck.”

“Munson,” the officer greeted roughly once the window was rolled down.

“Callahan,” Eddie replied. “Hopper got you on traffic patrol now huh?”

“Very funny,” Callahan deadpanned. “You know why I pulled you over.”

“Actually I don’t,” Eddie chuckled dryly. “License plates are up to date, I wasn’t speeding, and that tail light you busted last time you pulled me over is fixed.”

What the fuck?

"I don't like the tone you're taking with me, kid," Callahan spat. "Not a respectful bone in your body, any time I have to pull you over. It's for your safety after all. And the safety of the entire town."

How many times had this guy pulled Eddie over? 5? 10?

“Anyway, we just broke up a party over in Loch Nora about an hour ago, lot of kids high and wasted,” Callahan continued and there was no way you could have guessed the words that were coming out of his mouth next. “I know how you like to hang around parties like those, do a few deals. Maybe you decided to take advantage of some pretty girl who doesn’t know where she is.”

Callahan leaned down a little further and shined a flashlight into the van, directly at you.

“How you doing tonight miss? Can you tell me your name please?”

Your world was shaken to the core.

“Excuse me?” You scoffed, clenching your fists.

“You got your wits about you, or do I need to call an ambulance or something? Maybe your mom, if she needs to come pick you up?”

“I’m fine, officer, but I don’t like what you’re implying about my friend here.” You responded harshly. “Or about me. I am a grown woman, I am in this van of my own volition, with full mental capacities other than the fact that I’m maybe a little tired because I just woke up 20 minutes ago to go see the sunrise with my friend.”

Callahan stumbled over his words for a second, immediately backtracking as Eddie sat speechless in the driver's seat.

“We were never at a party in Loch Nora. Eddie didn’t kidnap me. Neither of us are drunk or high. So I’m pretty sure this is an unlawful traffic stop officer,” you concluded.

Both officer Callahan and Eddie looked at you with dumbstruck expressions.

“What, it’s true. So unless you have another reason to have pulled us over, officer?” You asked. “Can we be on our way now?”

He cleared his throat and handed the license and registration back to Eddie.

“Must have seen another van outside the party. An easy mistake to make,” he replied. “Got yourself a smart girlfriend there, Munson. Don’t fuck it up like you usually do ok?”

Callahan did another “whoop whoop” before pulling away and heading back to town, but Eddie continued to sit stiffly, refusing to move.

“You ok?” You asked, putting a hand on his arm.

“I can’t…he didn’t…” Eddie stumbled over his words. “I’m not like that ok? I don’t…I don’t take advantage of girls at parties. Fuck. Please don’t think—”

“I didn’t,” you assured him.

“Callahan always has it in for me, man,” He explained. “I don’t even know what I did. Caught me smoking weed on school grounds with the guys one summer way back and it was like a permanent target was placed on my back.”

“Small town cops with a big ego,” you explained, knowing fully well how douchebags like that were. “And you’re the resident bad boy.”

“You gotta stop calling me that,” he groaned in, what you believed to be, embarrassment.

---

And it kept happening.

Whispers when you went out for pizza, eyes watching you at the grocery store with pity or disgust, you didn’t know for sure. The one time you both stopped in Montgomery Ward on lunch to get a new dress (and for Eddie not to spend his lunch alone) and the saleswoman kept hovering as though you were about to steal.

Well, not you. Eddie.

No one usually dared to say anything to your face but you could still hear it. “She hangs around that Munson boy. Ugh such a troublemaker. Poor girl. Someone should tell her. He’s a trickster, that one.”

And no, you knew it wasn’t everyone. Just the busybodies who didn’t know what they were talking about.

You’d usually roll your eyes and continue on with your day. You could take whatever was thrown your way—some people just sucked and they couldn’t keep their mouths shut—but you knew how it affected Eddie. You could see it when you were with him, how deflated he became.

Your friend, one of the best people you knew, regardless of your stupid crush on him. He became distant, shrunk like he wanted to take up less space in the world.

You just about had enough of it.

And it all came to a head one day, a week after you hired Chrissy Cunningham as a part-time associate.

Her mother dropped her off after Cheer camp one day and wanted to see the new store.

You had a pretty solid parent policy that you made known to your teenage associates, just as your old store manager did when she first hired you at 16. Parents could come in and visit, shop, sure. But they weren’t going to interfere with the business. No calling to complain if the schedules conflicted with family nights. No calling in sick on their kids behalf.

“If you’re old enough to take on the responsibility of a job, you’re taking all of the responsibilities, ok? Even the not so nice ones.”

Chrissy, just like the others, understood.

Chrissy’s mom, on the other hand, had a bit of a problem with that.

You were nice enough when they first got in, getting to hear how the whole family was so excited about her first job, how it would look great on college applications come Fall. Chrissy, of course, had told you all of this in her interview; she was a sweet kid who clearly was trying to take on a lot and once you met her mom, you understood where the pressure was coming from.

Your mom was like that too, in her own way. Picking and picking and picking.

“Oh actually,” Mrs Cunningham started and from her tone you knew it was just going to be the beginning of a whole to-do. “I was meaning to ask if Chrissy could change her schedule? I saw you had put her on Saturday afternoons. But there’s a junior cheer team at the park district that she helps coach and they have meets on the first Saturday of the month.”

The too-big, overly-whitened smile was an unspoken threat of “you’re going to give me what I want or else.”

You explained that weekends were a mandatory availability for your associates who were still in school, but it didn’t mean they would always be scheduled. You had already told Chrissy that you would give her the days of her meets off, if she let you know the dates at least 2 weeks in advance. It was only once a month, after all.

That smile fell, like it always did, when someone like Mrs. Cunningham, like your mother, like all the other Stepford-wife types in town, didn’t get their way.

She tried once again to explain, this was important to Chrissy and she could trade Saturdays for another day. Maybe Thursday afternoon? Only if she didn’t have too much homework, of course.

But there was no way to know that when you were writing the schedule two weeks out, you argued.

"Then I guess you'll just have to find a replacement for her shifts if she can't come in," Mrs. Cunningham argued.

“Ma’am, I leave the responsibility of schedule and availability to my associates when I hire them,” you explain. “Not their parents. You said you were excited for Chrissy to have a job. It’s only been a week. If she thinks she can handle Saturdays—or even if she doesn’t—I’ll leave it up to her. School hasn't even started yet; let's just give it some time before we try to make changes ok?”

And as one does when they feel attacked, she went after low hanging fruit.

“I wouldn’t expect you,” she sneered, “to know a whole lot about responsibility…or planning ahead for the future. You work in this little shop; it's not even a real job. I’ll bet you didn’t even go to college.

“And Chrissy said you’re friends with the Munson boy right? That he shows up sometimes to talk to you. He’s never known a day of responsibility in his life. He’s…he’s a drug dealer, a troublemaker—”

“Alright that’s it,” you interjected. “This is a place of business—my place of business—and we’re getting busy, so I will have to ask you to leave Mrs. Cunningham. Unless you want to stay for a piercing, I do have paying customers to tend to. I will discuss the schedule again with Chrissy. I promise.

“But for now, thanks for stopping by, it was so nice to meet you.”

---

“God she was such a bitch,” you complained as you watched Eddie throw cardboard boxes into the bailer.

This was typical for lunches spent together. You would both run trash down to the loading dock and complain about work while Eddie smoked—allowing you to luxuriate in his secondhand smoke for a little while—and then you would head to the food court to eat and just…spend time together.

Listen to music, talk about movies or books or whatever else came to mind.

This friendship was still new, there was plenty to talk about.

You kind of hoped there would always be something new to talk about. And that you two would be talking and having lunch together for a long time.

Best not get your hopes up though.

Currently, you were recounting the interaction with Mrs. Cunningham, purposefully leaving out the way she brought him into conversation.

What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Right?

“Poor Chrissy,” you sighed.

“Poor Chrissy?” Eddie scoffed. “Yeah, really sucks to be on top.”

“You know, she might be on top at school—”

“And her family might be rich, and she might live in a big house, and she might only need to work so it looks good on college applications. See where I’m going with this?”

“—but it sucks to have a parent constantly shitting on you. Even if they do it for ‘your benefit...'.”

“Why can’t you do anything right?”

“I stayed at home with you kids and this is the thanks I get?”

“I can’t make you respect this family. But don’t you have any self-respect?”

Maybe you were just projecting...

“Speaking of Queen Bee, here she comes now with her lover boy,” Eddie said, batting his eyelashes dramatically, and then he made a gagging noise. You were exiting the service corridors and spotted Chrissy, who had clocked out for the day, walking towards the food court with a very clean, athletic-looking blond boy.

“Now if you wanna talk about a bitch, look no further than Jason Carver.”

He proceeded to tell you all about how Jason and Jeff were neighbors, how they used to be friends as kids. How they stopped talking once Jason started up with sports, and he started picking on Jeff once he made varsity.

“He had some macho, roided up growth spurt last year, and that paired with the self-righteous bible thumping meant that Hellfire was an easy target. Those meathead jocks picked on us before, sure, but…I dunno, Jason is a whole other level of cruel.

“And he doesn’t hesitate to beat up the younger kids, but if I’m around…well needless to say they’re a little scared of me, they don’t want to take a chance that I’ll put a curse on them or something.

“I’ll do whatever I need to, I’ll be their villain, if it means keeping those kids safe.” He rubbed the sleeve of his flannel against his nose and sniffled lightly. “But it’s not like there’s anything I can do aside from that. I have to just sit there and take it, let my friends take it, because if I don’t…if I don’t, then I become everything they say I am. Angry, dangerous, a menace, a criminal.”

“Eddie that’s terrible,” you grumbled, Chrissy’s mom and your own troubles forgotten. "You don't deserve to be picked on like that."

Eddie hummed in contemplation for a moment.

“Ok enough of them, do you want to share chili cheese fries?” He diverted. You hesitated, not wanting to drop the subject entirely, but also not wanting to push him. Eddie flashed you those big, pleading eyes, though, and you caved.

Asshole knew exactly what he was doing.

“Sure,” you smiled.

“And you’ll let me buy today,” he continued, holding his hand out before you could argue. “Because you feel bad for me you’re gonna let me do it.”

“What logic is that?!” You exclaimed. He giggled maniacally and motioned for you to find a table before he practically skipped to the line to order.

He was lucky that he was cute.

---

Chrissy approached you the next time she had a shift together; you were planning to pull her aside at the end of her shift to double check that she was sure about her availability and to go over the parent policy once again. It was kind of a relief that she took the initiative instead.

“I’m sorry about my mom,” she began timidly. “She shouldn't have come in here just to interfere. It's just that I do have a lot going on, and when I told her I wanted to work at the mall too...well, she just..."

"Chrissy, I understand," you interjected. "Really I do, you don't need to explain. I knew when I hired you that you had a lot on your plate."

"Thank you again, by the way."

"I just want to make sure that you're sure this is the right move. Do we need to look at your availability again?" you asked. "If your mom comes back to have this conversation again, I'm not going to stand for it. I need employees who are responsible for their own time."

"No I know..." she sighed. "I'll talk with her. I really do like working here."

"I like having you work here," you reassured her. "You're doing a really great job so far."

"R-really?" she smiled, eyes getting a little glossy. "Thank you. I'm trying. My mom...never seems to be happy with anything I do. If it's not what I do, it's how long it takes, and if it's not that, then it's how I look, and--" She was starting to breathe a little heavily and you sighed.

"Hey listen, I get it," you said gently. "Mom's...well, sometimes they can be the worst. They know exactly what buttons to push. And I don't want to sound insensitive because I want you to know you can talk to me any time, I'm here for you. But we are on the sales floor.

"I know your shift is almost over, if you want to take a few to go in back and settle down before you leave, you can," you encouraged her. It wasn't a busy day; you could afford to give her a few extra minutes to herself.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, Mindy will be back from lunch in a few and I can come and grab you if I need you."

Chrissy gave you a watery smile and then headed back into the stockroom.

There were a few minutes of restocking bracelets before the shop bell rang as a new customer walked in.

"Hey! Welcome in!" You greeted brightly, mindlessly, before looking up to find Chrissy's boyfriend standing there. He smiled and nodded in greeting.

"Hey, I'm here to pick Chrissy up," he explained.

"You're a little early," you laughed, trying to be cordial despite Eddie's words about him echoing in your mind. "She's just in back finishing up. I'll let her know you're here."

"Nah, that's ok," Jason shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you really quick."

You frowned at him and narrowed your eyes.

"Boyfriends unfortunately don't qualify for the employee discount," you stated lightly, hoping that this was the only thing he had to ask. "So if you have a little sister or something--"

"No, it's about Eddie Munson," he continued. "You really need to stay away from him."

Yeah. That was exactly what you were afraid he would say.

Ugh, you were really getting tired of this.

And it wasn't just that you were sick of people meddling, it was this boy in particular who was really rubbing you the wrong way. Gossipy sales associates with jock boyfriends, useless troublesome cops, nosy housewives, and well-meaning grandmas were one thing.

But a high school boy who was still wearing a letterman jacket in July, with a too nice smile and the audacity to have a savior complex when he was the one tormenting other kids?

That was where you drew the line.

You just wondered if you were willing to lose your job because of him.

“I'm telling you this for your own good. The crowd he’s a part of…,” Jason leaned closer as though it was a secret. “They’re a bunch of wastoids, listening to that devil's music, trying to lure virgins into the woods to sacrifice. And if you want to sit with the right crowd at lunch when school starts--”

You barked a laugh at this, right in his face, and he backed away looking confused.

Ok, so this wasn't "lose your job" worthy.

You mentally pulled on both your Disappointed Older Sibling and Angry Store Manager pants to gear up for this fight.

"Ok kid, real talk," you started, clapping your hands like a coach would. "I'm not in the business of yelling at teenage boys. And as flattering as it is that you might think I'm still in high school, there is no way a teenager would be managing a store. So there's point number one. Number two, don't assume a lady's age ok? At all. In either direction. That's a life lesson I'm gonna give you for free.

"Number three, and not that this conversation isn't...just really lovely, I need to get a point across and I'm sincerely doubtful you're gonna listen to me anyway. I just need you to understand that...like, whoever is hanging out with who, or going where, or doing what, is generally none of your business. Especially your girlfriend's boss. It's really disappointing that a nice boy like you is gonna cause his girlfriend to lose her job because he can't mind his own business."

And that was the punctuation at the end of the sentence to make him look nervous and a little sweaty.

You felt a little bad saying it, because no, you weren't going to fire Chrissy because of this dumb boy. But hopefully this would be a lesson learned.

"E-e-eddie was hanging around Chrissy the other day," he stuttered, looking extremely out of his element. Never been the person who had to face consequences before; you knew the type. "I saw him in here when I came to pick her up. She said...you were his friend and he was just waiting for you."

"I'm sure he was waiting for me."

"He always had crushes on the cheerleaders," he explained. "He was sniffing around this girl Julie a few years ago and she found out he was into this satanic stuff...I figured either you or Chrissy were next..."

"Oh buddy," you sighed. "And you figured if you came in here and told me not to hang around him, I would be spared...and Chrissy would be too?"

"See? You get it."

"Except that's really not how things work in real life or at a shopping mall, kid," you said. "Everyone is allowed to go wherever they want and talk to whoever they want. And I, as one of the managers in this building, am able to assess what is a danger to myself and my employees and Eddie certainly isn't one of them. Except for his corny jokes, he is harmless.

"You on the other hand," you continued, savoring the moment Jason's eyes got a little wider. "Approached me with a very distinct and threatening energy. So unless you want me to call mall security and make sure you are no longer allowed on the premises, I will need you to...re-evaluate your tone of voice and your intention of visiting.

"So, what was your name again?"

"J-Jason Carver, ma'am."

Ew. Ma'am. Ok you weren't that old. But you could deal with it.

"Jason Carver," your tone changed immediately, back to the sickening Store Manager voice you defaulted to on a regular basis. Eddie had called it unsettling before, to hear you go from your regular tone of voice to that. Jason's eye twitched and you grinned maniacally. "It's so nice to meet you. Chrissy was telling everyone it's your anniversary coming up?"

His eyes shifted slightly, and he laughed nervously.

"Ye-yes ma'am," he agreed.

"And what are you planning to get her as a gift?" you asked. He froze again. Ok, no gift; Chrissy definitely deserved better than that. "I think a necklace would be really lovely. Not from here, I can see you looking at the jewelry wall. But there's a really nice jewelry store downstairs that has birthstone pendants and stuff. I think she would really love something from there."

"I-I think that's a great idea," he nodded vigorously.

The door to the stockroom opened and Chrissy walked out with her bag in hand, ready for you to check it.

"Ok, I'm all set to go then, thank you so much for--Jason!" Chrissy smiled when she saw her boyfriend. "I thought you were going to wait for me downstairs."

He cleared his throat and composed himself.

"Figured I would come up and surprise you," he grinned smoothly. "Met your boss, she's...really cool, just like you said."

Nice save.

Ok maybe he wasn't as stupid as you originally thought.

Chrissy waved goodbye as they left, and Jason had the right sense to keep his mouth shut.

---

You waited outside Tape World as the mall started to slow down and get dark. There was a little coin-operated horse right outside of the store and you leaned against it and wondered, if it was a real horse, how fast it could take you and Eddie out of this shit hole of a town, away from all of the people who said horrible things.

You had nothing to complain about though. Eddie had to deal with it for years. He did so much to protect his friends...all you wanted to do was to protect him too.

The gate opened up and Eddie ducked underneath, grinning at you once it was locked and he was upright once again. He muttered a quick goodbye to the associate who closed with him before he approached you.

"Hey, it's only Thursday," he laughed. "Did I forget we had plans? I thought you opened."

"No, I was a mid," you shrugged. "But I stayed because..."

Should you tell him? You didn't want to upset him, or have him pull away from you, like he always did whenever talk of his reputation around town was mentioned. You wanted your silly, carefree, wonderful best friend not to have to suffer because of narrow minded people anymore.

"Beeeccaauuuuseee." He hums for a moment. "Because you knew that I was planning a Little Debbie taste test for Sunday and that all of the snacks were in the van right now?"

"What?" you laughed. "Oh my God."

"You said you were more of a Hostess person. I am trying to change your allegiance to the Dark Side of the Force." He stood taller, theatrically trying to mimic Darth Vader. "What better way than with a joint or two and a shit ton of snack cakes at the lake."

"Eddie!"

"What? Don't tell me you have never smoked before," he said in mock offense. "What rock have you been living under? I'm going to have to call your parents, young lady. They did too good a job raising you."

You stared at him for a minute as he laughed and you couldn't help yourself; you quickly closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his waist. He went stiff for a second before placing one of his arms around your shoulders and his other hand on the back of your head.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "I mean, I know I did good with the Little Debbie, but you don't have to smoke if you don't want to. I was just kidding."

"No, it's not..." you sighed.

Hugging Eddie was nothing like hugging a girl friend--all squeezes and giggles over something silly and stupid--or hugging a relative--stiff and a little cold, your family not really ones for outward affection to begin with. He was just the right hug shape, his arms at the right height, the right length to wrap around you. His cheek at the right height to rest on the top of your head if he really wanted to (which you really hoped he did). His stupid waist that was perfect for you to wrap your arms around and soft enough that you could squeeze a little bit and he would actually give instead of just stiff and there.

An Eddie Hug was a perfect hug.

And hopefully your hug was perfect for him too, so that it wouldn't hurt him or scare him away as you told him...

"You remember last week?" you began. "You said Jason Carver is the biggest bitch I'd ever meet?"

"Y-yeah," he replied hesitantly, getting a little stiff in your arms, but he did nothing to pull away from you.

"Well, I met him and he is," you continued.

"What did he do?" Eddie asked, irritation evident in his voice. "If...if he did something, said something to you, I swear to God I--"

"I handled it," you cut him off. "He tried to scare me away from you. He said...well, it doesn't matter does it?"

"I'm sure it's what everyone says about me."

"And I told him he could get fucked," you said.

"What?!" Eddie finally pushed you away from him, hands gripping your arms tightly, as he laughed. "No you didn't."

"No I didn't," you shook your head. "But I might as well have. I think I scared him."

"Did you do the creepy voice?" he asked.

"Yeah," you giggled.

"I fucking hate that," he shivered.

"One day, Eddie Munson, you will answer the phone with a 'y'ello' and you will forever be turned to the Dark Side too," you mimicked his Darth Vader impression. "Just you wait and see."

"Never, I would sooner die!" He threw an arm across his eyes dramatically and turned away from you. After a moment had passed, he stood up straight again, hands fidgeting at his sides. "So, uh, are we cool?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Because everyone tells you to stay away from me," he shrugged. "That I'm no good. That I'm a freak. I've been hearing it all my life. But I don't think I could stand it if I heard it from you too."

"Eddie," you started, worrying at your lip for a second. "I know how soul crushing it is to constantly have to hear how bad you are, how you're never gonna live up to whatever expectations others have of you. But listen to me, and listen good: you are absolutely wonderful.

"A wonderful neighbor, a wonderful coworker, a wonderful friend. Who cares what other people think about you; who cares, even...what I think about you?"

"I care," he shrugged.

"But it doesn't matter how many people tell me that you're bad, I'm never gonna think that about you ok? You're so many things but you're also just...good. Ok?"

"Ok," he nodded, eyes getting progressively more watery by the second.

"And don't you start with the self-deprecating shit around me anymore either," you weakly swatted at his shoulder and his torso, and he laughed. "I can't take it. Only one of us can be a miserable piece of shit, and I'm older, so I have dibs."

"You're not a miserable piece of shit," he chuckled. "You're wonderful too."

"No more of this...sad sackery then? From either of us?" you asked and held out a pinky to him. "You can't break a pinky swear."

Eddie wrapped his pinky around yours tightly.

"No more. Upon punishment of death."

---

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.04

Tag List (can I call you guys the Sales Associates? OMG, that's what it's gonna be): @gaysludge @storiesbyrhi @tayhar811 @spookybabey @word-wytchh @maidenofartemis @dreamlandcreations @wickedbelle

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! I'm sure I missed some tag requests, but I have been out of town with shoddy internet access so blame that, not me.

#Eddie munson fluff #Eddie munson x reader #Eddie munson imagine #store manager verse #stranger things imagine #stranger things drabble #Eddie munson fic #Eddie munson stranger things

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speedlimit15 · 2 years

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im talking about work/my stupid autism under

im so autistic and its only becoming more obvious as i grow up. i never know when's a bad time to talk to someone (emotionally i mean; im good at SItuational Timing or generally just shut up) and i tend to press their buttons when i do. like i really mean well.

for instance today my department manager was pissed she had to clean up maggots from the hermit crab tank because any dead ones should be checked for and disposed of by noon every day by the opener. i only opened 2-3 times a week but definitely have in the past few days, and she shot me A Pointed Look while telling the department about it.

after i was clocked out and while she was cleaning i went and told her who i thought had missed it (the girl who deep cleaned the reptiles last, as i def didnt see or smell anything my shift), and suggested she post in the department group chat about it. and she snapped back at me that it was all of our responsibilities as a department, and that the maggots were allegedly too large to have only been there for a day (implying it was definitely my fault she had to clean/they were missed). so now not only does she think its my fault she thinks im trying to shirk MY responsibility.

as a side note first of all bitch maggots can hatch in 7 hours and we have a fly problem. it could have happened this fucking morning. but anyway i really did mean well bc i wanted to make sure she was covering all her bases as a manager and i keep trying to do things nicely for her and they make her mad because i cant time anything correctly/leave things undone to prioritize other more important things (like customers and making sure animals are fed/have clean water as most of them poop in their bowls overnight) . i do also always communicate what needs to be done but it's either never to the right people or in the right way.

idk dude i like this job sooo much and i do feel like this situation wouldnt be happening if i learned how to empathize and take responsibility in the exact way people need to hear??? i guess??? like also when customers need to know where something is i show them and then walk away because Transaction Over! :) in my brain and they dont stop me but complain on surveys. i cant upsell i cant sell in general especially tailored to someones specific needs. i dont know how im supposed to succeed like this when im trying my absolute hardest

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neon-blooded · 6 months

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Honestly this job has been a blessing for me. I know a lot of people shit on this company and job, and i get it, but its been a great experience for me so far. I'm thriving in it. I love selling games, i love organizing, i like my coworkers, i just really love my job. I dont dread going in to work at all. I dont feel anxiety for it. Thats the wildest thing to me. I just enjoy my time there.

I've been here two months, and it feels like its been longer than that. Partly cause the manager that hired me robbed the store blind and flabberghasted everyone. Like, he easily got away with 30,000 in deposits and merchandise. It was insane. Me and another co-worker stepped up to take care of the store and deal with the fallout. And we did really well!

She got promoted to manager, as a trial, and im really pleased for her. I wasnt considered afterall cause i was still too new to the company, which is totally understandable. That was the only issue. But that said, everyone says that i'll prolly move up into a manager position oncd i get some of my metrics up, and that - im not worried about. I learn frighteningly quick in most things. The only thing i learn at a somewhat normal pace is dealing with people and upselling stuff - and for being there 2 months, my numbers are pretty decent. So im not worried. The District's manager coach is extremely impressed with me and keeps saying so lol. He and I get along really well and he's fun to work with.

As a result of the previous manager's robbery, the four of us kinda bonded lol. We all play minecraft together and its fun. Im at least 7 years older than the rest of them so they've all kinda been looking up to me for advice about work things and dealing with people and its precious. I just want to adopt the three of them, they're too adorable. We act like a really good team and i think there's a lot of respect between the four of us.

Halloween is coming up in a couple of days and im so freakin excited. Its a short work day so i'll be working that day myself and i cant wait! I'm going to dress up as Link from TOTK. Its going to be great - i found a really nice costume. Tomorrow (or today rather since its past midnight lmao) i'm wearing a Witchy Vibes outfit. Im going to see if i can stop by target and get a witchy hat, before work. My outfit is so stinking cute. I got this deep purple/indigo Iridescent blouse, black lacy shorts, and orange/black striped socks. With black boots. So im going to wear acid green eyeshadow to complete the garish halloween look.

My coworkers say i look just like a quirky art or music teacher and i swear, no higher compliment has been paid to my style. I love looking kooky and cute like that.

So yeah, i love it here and im hsving a good time. I dont hate my life and i dont feel constant dread and anxiety running after me. I feel good.

#tox posts #tox's job #halloween #update

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goddess-rachellll · 10 months

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My progress and goals

progress:

I am unbelievably proud of myself for how far I've come. This time last year, well, really all of last year I was at rock bottom. My husband was in jail for a short time, then rehab for six months. I was drinking heavily every day, I felt hopeless, I wasn't a good mom, I was hurt. It seemed like nothing would ever get better. I was living in my sister's spare room with my kids and I had no job, no money, I had basically nothing. Anything I did get, went straight to my kids. Two months later I got a job serving overnights just 2 nights a week. That little part time job sparked something in me and I knew I needed better and my kids needed better. So every week, Mondays and Tuesdays, I worked my ass off at that job and I met amazing people that listened to my situation, sympathized with me and always offered any advice they could or a shoulder to cry on. I quit drinking and put all of my focus into work. Learning the menu at home, figuring out the best food combinations to suggest to people, getting my upsells down. It was my distraction. I quickly worked my way up to full time, I think after only a month, I had earned a full time position. I covered shifts as much as possible and I made great friends with all of my regulars. I started saving my money and pouring into my kids more. Focusing on helping them in school, making sure they had everything they needed, creating solid routines for them and the structure I didn't give them before. By the new year, I had saved up almost $3000 and my husband was due to get out of rehab. I was searching for apartments left and right, preparing for him to get out, picking up extra shifts, completely burning myself out. My focus was on my kids, my job and my husband but never on me. My husband got out, began working at the rehab center he had just graduated from and two months later, we found our house. Then I decided it was time for me. I stopped picking up extra shifts and only worked my set schedule. I started focusing on taking care of myself more, skin care, body care, exercising, doing things I enjoy. And now I'm here. From a bedroom to a house. From addiction to success. From rock bottom to so close to the top I can smell it.

Goals:

For the next six months I will continue to be pouring into myself. I'll also be working on going back to school and getting my small business started as well as saving money for both of those goals. So before January, this is what I want to achieve:

Filter out my diet to be mostly fresh foods

Find a consistent hair care routine that works for my hair

Working out consistently 3 times a week

Get into the habit of taking walks every day to clear my head and get fresh air

Implement one family night a week and stay consistent on it

Research the colleges around me and find out which one I want to go to

Apply for financial aid

Save $3000 by january

Research, research, research for my small business

#goddess #love #positivity #text post #confidence #beautiful #beauty #pretty #pretty girls #goals #progress #the next six months

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leggigoesabroad · 2 years

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it’s half my fault but i just like to play the victim

Lyric from Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” that is all over my TikTok and I cannot get out of my head. Greetings from somewhere along the Queen Victoria Sound, as we (my fellow coworker comrades and I, to be introduced soon) are halfway through our trek to Ketchikan from Vancouver, on the long-awaited 2022 Seabourn Alaska Cruise. We originally planned this trip back in August 2019, for an intended June 2021 sailing date. The pandemic obviously pushed that back and I still remember the blood draining from my face when I heard we’d be pushing it an entire year. I was in a Very Bad Place at the time and couldn’t fathom another year of commitment to my company. And July 2022 sounded like a made up date. It’s like thinking of say, May 2025 now. Lol WHAT? That’s not a real time that’s going to ever be here. Like what April Ludgate thought about March 31st. And yet. Here I sit. Swaying back and forth because my suite is at the very back (PARDON, “AFT”) of the ship and my seabands, ear patches, and two Dramamines are only barely making a dent. It’s like trying to put out a house fire with a water bottle. The house fire being my unfailingly persistent motion sickness. Death, taxes, and Leigh being nauseous if not holding and moving the wheel of whatever vessel is moving.

Before I describe the last 6 days, I think it’s time for a GRANDKIDDDD ROUNDDDD UPPPP (couldn’t resist Encanto) aka introducing my staff team that I will be writing about, good and bad. We have big boss Gina, co-trip lead Nick, and here-for-the-upselling David, who is a specialist at sales/upgrades and is the go-to guy for it, and an extra set of hands. Then we brought Yolanda back from 2019, the insane Seabourn/shore excursions expert who insisted stroopwafels were a full meal. Nick and I are bffs and have talked pretty much every day for three years. David is great and so funny and easy to get along with. Gina inexplicably adores me even though we disagree on MOST things (namely, her antiquated and defenseless rules she has in motion, like “no jeans ever under any circumstances” and “one of you should get up at 4:45 am to see our CEO off into his private transportation even though you’ll be working a 16 hour day after that and haven’t slept or stopped moving”.) But she’s amazing at this job and we would all die without her.

These folks are all great and they all love me and we’ve all already trauma bonded, so we’ve grown even closer. But never forget that the main point of this blog and this trip is – my last hoorah. My final trip before I leave the company on July 29th, take two weeks off at the beach, and then start at Micato on August 15th. Any time I make a mistake or break a rule or drink too much or say anything unprofessional, the internal response between Nick, David, and me is, “FIRE ME!!!” Luckily those two guys are all in on my last hoorah and agree I should make this trip as fun as possible and have been extremely good and bad influences (depending on what we’re going for) at multiple times already. So! Let’s begin!

Gina and I flew to Vancouver on Sunday, July 10th, with our accounting comrade Jaclyn, who was coming just for the Vancouver week to help out. She has 13-month-old twins at home so couldn’t also do the cruise. I have never met these babies yet I am deeply attached to them and offered to watch them for her overnight so she and her husband can get away. I actually think she might believe me that I’d be the best option for them SO we’ll see. I alraedy convinced her to buy a Nugget.

We had the most beautiful weather in Vancouver and I wouldn’t have changed a single degree. It was 75 and sunny every day and our hotel looked right over the harbor, couldn’t ask for better. We spent the next few days in hotel meetings, ship meetings, making last minute manifest changes and updates, working on our staff schedule, eating out at different meals, greeting the members who arrived, etc. And everyone making fun of me for how insane I was about masking and testing. But as I said to them, “If the staff goes down, THERE IS NO TRIP!!! Let the worst case scenario be that I was a little annoying this week!” Spoiler, we don’t have COVID (yet). But don’t worry, this boring work talk is over for now, as I transition into my Vancouver Love Affair.

I posted some Insta stories when I got there and tagged Vancouver as the location, and got a message from an old Czech friend of Kitty’s that she knew in Ireland when she lived there for a few months in 2013. Hil and I visited Kitty for a few days so we met him at the time, and connected instantly over the same music taste (his favorite musician is Andrew McMahon!!) and we’ve stayed in vague occasional IG touch over the years (in that, we occasionally like each other’s photos. Modern.) He messaged saying he lives in Vancouver and would love to meet up if I had time, and that he gets off work at 10 pm. Why did I agree to this? LAST HOORAH. FIRE ME. SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD. And I always thought he was cute, so. He gave me the name of an (outdoor) bar to meet at and I was going to take a cab but then I put it in maps and said, “oh, it’s only a kilometer, I’ll walk.” Look how Canadian I got in just a couple of days!! Walked there, met him, and it wasn’t awkward at all luckily. You may be thinking, “Leigh, you hate things like this. You barely like hanging out with your actual friends and acquaintances and would never ever meet up with a near stranger at 11 pm on a night you had to be up early the next day. You love when plans are canceled. You dread going on any dates and hate the possibility of awkwardness and avoid it at all costs.” You would be correct. I can’t explain it. My closest people know I have a travel exception to things like this and love to ~seize the day~ if you will. Lest we forget Thailand 2016. (How could I, that hostel I had food poisoning in is burned into the back of my brain as a core memory now.)

We had a couple of drinks at the first bar, and then he showed me the music venue he works at, and an area in Vancouver called Granville. We hopped into a cab to see English Bay Beach, which he assured me was a gorgeous view and a lovely part of town. When we got out of the cab, we were right at a little Irish bar, so decided to pop in for another drink before going to the water. Walked in and the Irish bartender immediately greeted us. Before I go on about him – the spoiler of the end of this love affair is that me and this Czech friend had two nights that were like an absolute romcom. Bopping around town, drinking, listening to music, holding hands walking by the water, laughing, chatting easily for hours, reminiscing, you name it. I was both very present and in the moment, and also very much seeing the whole scene from afar and knowing how unbelievably idyllic it all looked. Rare that these two things happen at once!

Back to the bartender – we walked in and said, “You’re Irish?? We met in Ireland 9 years ago!” and I swear to you, if these nights were a romcom, this man couldn’t have been better scripted in his role as handsome, genial, “seen it all”, takes-no-shit, makes-fun-of-your-drink-order-unless-it’s-Guinness, kind of man. I felt like I was a part of a simulation, or the Truman Show, and everyone was hired for me to have the most authentically beautiful evening. We did a tequila shot and I didn’t even MIND it! (The idea you had of me, WHO WAS SHE?) Bartender ragged on me for living in Cork for six months, as all Dubliners do. Reminded me of something a cabbie in Dublin said to me and Amy once - “aye, you know the best thing about Cork, the say? The road leading to Dublin!

We decided to go to the beach to sit by the water before last call at 1:30 am. Sat on a bench in front of a panoramic water view that glittered even in the deep deep darkness. Took turns listening to each of our favorite songs. Made a shared playlist we can both add to. Cuddled in close as it got chilly and talked about life. Popped back to the bar for last call for one more drink, then decided to slowly walk me home to my hotel along the water, which was probably around two miles. We’d stop and lollygag and occasionally MACK (sorry family) and I didn’t get home until nearly 3:30 am. (Don’t worry, he was not invited in, that would ruin the charming romcom vibe.) The 7 am alarm was deeply, deeply painful and I was running on fumes the whole next day. My coworkers (sans Gina) all knew I was going out and were intensely supportive in the way that only married friends without fun stories anymore can be. When I told Jaclyn the whole story the next morning, she HUGGED ME and said this was the highlight of her week. Really just doing this for my friends. What a martyr.

Despite being so tired I could barely see straight, Czech man asked if I wanted to hang out again the next night. I said that I was starting to go senile and hallucinate with exhaustion but also…. Yes. You know what we say. Do it for the plot. He picked me up at the hotel around 11 again and we walked along the water, stopped at a gorgeous fountain/art installation to smoke a joint and listen to some music. Made a girl passing by take photos of us like we were a long established couple and not nearly strangers. Meaningfully hugged goodbye outside the hotel and avowed to see each other before 9 more years (we won’t. You know how life goes.) This time, got home at a very reasonable 1 am and woke up at 6:30 for a full day of what ended up being the longest/one of the hardest of my life. Should I have gone out two nights in a row drinking and smoking while on a work trip, you may be thinking??? Mind your own business this is my blog and you all know I love a good story.

Part 2 about embarkation and sea day coming as soon as I get more time!

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ms-demeanor · 4 years

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You know what’s funny is whenever I make a tech post I get people going “this is blatantly untrue” and I get people going “this is really good information and everyone needs to know it” and the dividing line is how much time you spend with people who are tech literate.

Yep, I would tell my computer savvy friends where they could get keycaps and fix their keyboards; I don’t even have to bother telling my computer savvy friends how to run a fifteen year old laptop because we’re all pretty good at it.

But GODDAMN I just read a response to my “cheap computer season” post that claimed that it was totally reasonable to run a macbook from 2010 and

Look.

That’s not a reasonable thing to tell a student who needs a functional computer to do research and write papers. (have fun trying to find installation discs from when the OS was still named after cats and have fun trying to get a browser to get along with that OS)

You know why most people bring me laptops with missing keys? Because the key got ripped off by their two-year-old and damaged the soldering in the keyboard and I have no idea it’s going to be “oh, yeah, that’s a ten dollar fix” or “sorry, that’s going to be an hour and a half to disassemble and reassemble and we’ll have to order you a new keyboard specific to that model out of new old stock” and the thing is the second one is much, much, much more common in my experience than the first.

Do I think you need to replace a laptop when the bezel is cracked? No. I also don’t carry my laptop powered on in the bag with a flashdrive sticking out of the USB port. Customers do weird things that I don’t understand and when a customer tells me they want me to fix the bezel they think it’s a twenty-dollar snap-on repair because they have no idea how this works and then they get mad at me when I explain “no, you’ve gotta have this specific piece of plastic, these haven’t been made in five years, and you might be better off buying a used model online than trying to track down a new bezel.”

So here’s the thing: Can Macs get viruses?

There are three answers here.

“No, of course not, Macs are made to be virus-proof”

“Macs need antivirus protection because, while it is less common than infections for PCs, there are types of malware that can infect macs and it’s worthwhile to guard against that”

“tEcHnIcAlLy a virus has to be self-replicating and IOS’s file management system [or some other bullshit] prevents that so TECHNICALLY Macs can’t get viruses and what you need is anti-malware software if you need anything because you’re fairly likely to have security through obscurity”

I’m aware of the third position and voicing the second position to people who believe the first position.

YES TECHNICALLY YOU CAN KEEP A COMPUTER RUNNING INDEFINITELY AND YES IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE YOUR LAPTOP WILL LAST TEN YEARS.

“Well if you treat it right and run it well it’ll be in great shape for a long time”

YES THAT IS CORRECT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK ON THEIR OWN CARS DRIVE AROUND WITH THE OIL CHANGE LIGHT ON FOR MONTHS?!?

Tons of people in the world today use computers. They use computers every day, they use computers at home and at school and at work.

Tons of people drive every day. They use cars for fun and for commuting and for their jobs.

That doesn’t mean that all (or even most, or even half) of the people using these things is any good at keeping them running, or even has the barest idea of how to start tracking down a problem.

Someone in the notes of that post described a green line on their screen and thought that was a symptom of hard drive problems. I don’t have the hours in the day to catch this person up to speed on why a display issue on a laptop isn’t indicative of hard drive issues.

Do you know how much people think it’s going to cost to get data off of a broken drive? Not “won’t power up” not “won’t spin” but “I dropped this and part fell off and now it won’t power up or spin and also the platter is chipped”? I’m going to have to send that shit to a clean room and the customer is *staggered* that it might cost more than a hundred dollars to get their data. “Outrageous, what kind of blackmail operation are you trying to run here, just plug it in and get my pictures.”

A year or so ago I was at Jiffy Lube (ew). I’d been shooting the shit with the mechanic when a parent and child rolled in in a panic. And they should have been panicking! They’d thrown a fucking rod because they’d been driving with no oil in the car for god knows how long because neither of them had had the oil changed in the two years they’d owned the vehicle.

*I* can keep a 30-year-old car running. I can put a belt back on an engine in a dark parking lot with a wrench and a headlamp. I can drop a gas tank and replace my fuel filter and thumb my nose at the mechanics who tried to upsell me on “replacing your old, worn-out air filter” the day after I’d popped a new one into my truck.

These folks couldn’t keep a new car running with three alarms telling them what was wrong.

*I* can power up my 2005 macbook running Leopard and use garage band to record a song or do some design work on my copy of Adobe CS3; I can kludge its FF3.5 browser into playing nice with the internet and accept that it’s going to be a slow piece of shit.

The lady who called me confused by the fact that the password to her email was different than the login information for her grocery store rewards account will not be able to function if she gets a pop-up that says she’s using an outdated browser and will think it’s a virus if her bank won’t let her log in on that browser.

And you know what, I’m kind of sick of this attitude.

I would *fucking adore it* if computers were actually easy to repair; I’d love it if you could run new OSs on old hardware (especially on macs because I think apple are kind of shitheads about planned obsolescence).

But you know what, no, most people *CAN’T* reasonably expect to use a ten-year-old computer and have pleasant experience of it. It’s going to run slow. It’s going to shut down when they don’t want it to. The battery is going to swell slightly with the heat and your touchpad is going to go nuts. Your USB ports will stop working. Standard wear and tear that most people don’t know how to protect against and don’t know how to repair is going to make it harder to use AND software requirements will outstrip the hardware capabilities of the computer.

If your old computer sucks it’s not your fault. If you can’t happily use a 10-year-old laptop to do your homework that’s okay, it wasn’t designed for you to use it that way and YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Because that’s kind of what a lot of these “well anybody should realistically be able to run a laptop from 2010″ responses comes down to: if you need new hardware you’re just not doing it right. If you have to replace your computer you didn’t make good choices when you bought it. If your battery dies it’s because you didn’t take care of it.

No. No. No. No.

This shit is A) designed to fail and B) actually really hard to keep running (hey how many blown capacitors do you think someone has to have on their motherboard before you say it’s not their fault for wanting to replace the laptop)

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE RESPONSES OF THAT POST LITERALLY SAID THAT IF YOUR BATTERY DIED AT THREE YEARS IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T DOING THE DRAIN CHARGE CYCLE RIGHT AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. It’s discharge cycles and heat, motherfucker; they are going to fail at some point and people shouldn’t feel bad if their batteries stop working after a couple years.

UGH.

You shouldn’t have to be a mechanic. You shouldn’t have to be a computer technician. Yeah, your shit will last longer if you know how to take care of it but, fuck. Imagine you were still using internet speeds from 2010. Imagine all your devices still had USB 2.0. Imagine you couldn’t log onto your online bank because your hardware won’t run he software that your bank recognizes because the hardware manufacturer decided it won’t support the older hardware.

What I was trying to get across in that initial post was “computers fail, and they fail pretty frequently; your life will be better and you will save money if you plan on replacing them at a regular interval and have reasonable expectations in terms of cost and failure. So buy a cheap computer now because you’re probably going to need one at some point”

And now I’ve got to Do A Yell about how there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and it’s unreasonable to expect tired, overworked, broke people to become experts in computer repair in order to do their homework or play the goose game.

FUCK THAT.

IT’S CHEAP COMPUTER SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS. LAPTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS AND DESKTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE DISCOUNTS ON NEW COMPUTERS AND IT’S CHEAP TO GET AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER AND WORK ON COMPUTERS IF YOU WANNA AND PLAN TO REPLACE REGULARLY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK ON COMPUTERS.

ALSO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING OIL YOU’RE PROBABLY DUE.

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hyperfixatingmenever · 3 years

Text

Baby Blue

Sir | Part 2/3 | 2.6 K | Explicit

Title: Sir

Fandom: Sucker Punch

Pairing: Blue Jones / Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.6 K

Warnings: ONLY 18+ BEYOND! Dominance, Ownership, Breathplay-ish, Fingerfucking, Under-Desk Blow Job, Face-Fucking, Orgasm Denial, Punishment.

A/N: Part 1. Cross posted Here

You've been at work for more than a month now and you're getting into the swing of things. You flirt, tease, swing your hips, do whatever you can to upsell and get tips, because like the rest of the girls, you know the most important thing to Blue is making money.

Blue tells you before opening that he's having a business meeting on the floor, and he wants to make sure you bring their drinks personally and often. You nod as you polish glasses, and he gives you a quick wink that makes you start to blush. You quickly duck behind the bar and open the fridge, hoping the cool air will help.

Later on, that night, Blues�� meeting commences, both men ‘manspreading’ on separate couches, facing each other with a small table in between. Just as Blue asked you, bring them all their drinks personally, playing along with the flirts the other man threw your way. But on the fourth or fifth drink, as you bend over to place their drinks down on the table in front of them, you feel a large hand on the back of your thigh, and it starts to slowly move up.

As you stand back up, he says to Blue, "how much for a night with this one"

Blue tries to brush it off, "she's just a bartender; we have many other girls to choose from," waving his hand, dismissing the man's comment as well as you.

As you start to leave, the hand squeezes harder on the back of your thigh. You yelp and instinctively look up to see Blue already staring at you with his deep, consuming eyes.

Blue takes a deep breath and says through his teeth, "I didn't like you OR your business proposal much BEFORE you started to manhandle my business, but I DEFINITELY don't like you now. So you can either let go of her and leave of your own accord, or I can call security, but they won't be gentle."

Disgruntled, the man lets go of you and pushes you towards Blue. You fall onto his lap as the other guy leaves.

Without time to register what happened, Blue slowly pushes up your mini skirt and caress the red fingerprints the other man left, "I don’t think they'll bruise" he pushes a piece of blue hair behind your ear and leans in to whisper, "I don’t like marks on things that are MINE unless I put them there..." nipping at your lob.

Your whole body shivers, and he can see the physical reaction you had to him. He blows softly against your ear and whispers, "later." Then he practically throws you off his lap, standing up.

Laying on the couch, in shock that he just did that to you and then got up like it was no big deal. All he says as he walks away towards his office is, "Get back to work!"

-----

The night had finally finished, and all you could think about was the soft caress of Blues fingers on your thigh. Caresses that were so close to your now dripping underwear. You couldn't stop thinking about how his fingers would feel inside of you and how much better it would feel when they were replaced with his cock. A cock you imagine could split you open and hinder your ability to walk...for days. The same cock you had been having dreams about since Blue 'named' you.

You finished cleaning the bar and cashed out, mentally preparing yourself to see Blue after how flustered he had left you earlier tonight. You head towards Blue's office to give him the money so he can put it in his safe, but right before you knock on his closed door, you can hear moaning, grunting, and someone yelling "sir" over and over again.

Your eyes widened, realizing what's transpiring behind his door. Unsure what to do in this situation, you suddenly become stuck.

Do you wait? Do you interrupt? Do you go back to the bar and act busy till Blue comes out? After such a long shift, your brain is slowly processing this info, trying to determine the best answer. You decide on 'fuck it,’ you had a long night on your feet, and you wanted to sleep. But as you're about to knock, the door swings open. You and Blondie make eye contact as she's wiping off her mouth and pulls down her skirt.

Then you look at Blue, standing behind his desk, doing back up his belt and looking up at you without moving his head. "Come in."

Slowly you walk in and try to explain that you've got the cash envelope for the safe. Blue nods and walks around his desk before closing his door. "I think you have something else for me, Baby Blue."

You start to stumble over your words. "um, um, I don't think so, just the cash envelope."

You answer him somewhat scared because his eyes look... hungry. Even though you know you just heard him, fuck blondie, he still wants more. He walks towards you till your back hits a file cabinet, and he takes one more step forward, so your bodies are touching. His hands suddenly tangle in your hair as they violently jerk your head to one side. You can feel his lips attach to your neck, kissing. Your eyes are closed, enjoying the experience and trying to keep the needy moans from falling out between your lips.

"Your not just any whore, your MY whore, only I get to touch you like this, gets to feel you like this..." There's a long pause as his hands firmly grip your hips, and he starts to suck on your neck.

"... gets to MARK you like this".

His thigh spreads your legs, rubbing against your thinly covered clit. You know there will be a wet mark on his suit's thigh when he is done with you. His leg moves and is replaced with his hand. He cups your pussy and can feel how drenched your underwear is.

"God, you're so wet, and it's all for me."

He moves the lace to the side and starts to play with your pussy. You can feel Blue teasing you, spreading your folds, bumping up against your clit and circling your entrance. As his fingers slide into you and start coaxing your climax. You arch your back off the filing cabinet, your body begging for more. Blues eyes raked your body, enjoying the control he had over you.

“God, your such a whore”

Blue was the first person to call you a whore in this setting, and god did you love it. Blue could feel you getting wetter, which he didn’t think was possible since he could already see you dripping down your thighs.

“Oh, you like that. You like when I call you a whore?” with a large smirk on his face, knowing he just discovered one of your buttons.

“Well then, be the whore I know you are and fuck yourself on my fingers” as he says, this his fingers suddenly stop, no longer moving but still inside of you. Knowing that he wasn’t going to start again, you start moving up and down, getting up on your tiptoes and rolling your hips, hoping for some relief.

You can feel your climax within reach, but as soon as you start to feel the rise, his fingers are gone. You open your eyes to see Blue licking off his fingers, keeping deep eye contact with you.

“Sorry, Baby Blue, the girls must have forgot to tell you. You don’t cum, until I cum” He gives you a sinister grin as you realize this was always his plan.

You couldn’t think about anything else other than the release that was robbed from you, and you’d do whatever it takes to get it back. You take a confident step forward, so your leg grazes between his and innocently twirl his tie with your hand.

“So what can I do for you… Sir”

If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought that Blue wasn’t expecting this confidence from you. Blues surprise was quickly discarded as he brought his thumb up to your lips.

“I want you to use that pretty mouth and suck me while I’m at my desk.”

Without being asked twice, you saunter, swinging your hips and kneel down in the hole beneath his desk and in front of his chair, mouth already partially open… waiting. Blue makes his way over and sits in his chair, spreading his legs, making room for you. You look up, acting innocent, asking for permission with your eyes. Blue gives a slight nod as you gingerly unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants; before even grabbing his cock you can see how hard he already was through his underwear.

As you move his underwear, his cock springs out, hitting his chest. Confidently you grab it and start stroking up and down. You're about to put your lips on him but instead, your tongue circles and teases his tip, licking up the small beads of pre-cum.

“Don't tease, or I'll have to punish you.”

Part of you wants to know what type of punishment he had in mind, but most of you wanted a release, now. You give a small nod as you moan and take the rest of him in your mouth. Bobbing your head up and down as you massaged his balls in the other hand. You hollow your mouth and let his cock slide across your tongue. As you bob, you can see your saliva coats his cock, making lewd noises as you continue to move, but Blue seemed to enjoy them just as much as you. Enjoying everything happening, the taste, the noises, the smell of his cologne mixed with sweat, but before you can lose yourself in this dirty moment, there's a knock on the door. Blue suddenly grabs his desk and pulls his chair under his desk, hiding you and his throbbing cock. This sudden movement makes his cock hit the back of your throat, and your head hits the back of his desk.

“Keep sucking,” he says in a low growl for only you to hear.

This ass wasn't trying to hide you; he wasn't a shy man, hell he loudly fucked Blondie mere minutes ago. He wanted to know if you could follow orders. For this man, you would.

“Come in.”

You take this as your cue to keep going, but if he's busy, you might as well have some fun. You give his cock some small kitten licks, taking your time.

“So a sir, a couple things...”

Hearing what sounds like one of the bouncers, you start licking strips of his cock, mewling small ‘sirs’ making sure Blue wouldn't forget about you. Blue and the bouncer continued to talk with the small sounds you made in the background. You decide you've had enough playing, and you want his undivided attention again. You take his whole cock in your mouth, slightly bouncing on your knees, feeling the cool floor radiating up, making your pussy clench. His cock hits the back of your throat, and you hold it there and moan so he can feel the vibrations; this causes Blue to buck his hips a little, you gag a little, and Blue seems to enjoy this more. His knuckles start to go white as he holds onto the arms of his chair.

“Are we done?” You can tell Blues pissed. You're going to enjoy this.

“uh… yeah boss, that's it”

When you hear his door close, he rolls his chair back slightly, and his eyes meet yours. Looking up at him innocently... with his cock still in your mouth.

“I guess Baby Blue wants to be punished. ”

You then feel his two large hands grab onto the back of your head and tangle in your blue streaked hair. He starts to violently thrust, hitting the back of your throat. All you can do is breathe through your nose and enjoy everything that came out of Blue’s mouth.

“Fuck! You're such a whore! Gagging on my cock. I bet you enjoy me fucking your mouth. Maybe I should take you off the bar just so you can be under my desk sucking my cock each day.”

The thought of this made you moan.

“You'd like that, wouldn't you. My own personal whore”

Your hand trails down his leg and up your thigh, but before your fingers can find your clit, Blue smacks your cheek.

“No, this is your punishment. Later.”

God, this was already later! You didn't know how much more you could take. You groan as you place both hands on his thighs showing that you're not touching yourself. Your groan is what sends Blue over the edge. You can feel his sticky cum coat your mouth and throat as you swallow. Blue riding his high, kept thrusting in your mouth, but slowly his violent rhythm got more sloppy until he finally untangled his fingers from your hair and let go.

You cleaned off his cock with your tongue, which was still sensitive and gave light twitches against your tongue. When Blue was finally satisfied, he moved his chair back for you to crawl out and stand. Blue stands up and takes a step towards you; the back of your legs hit the edge of his desk. Finally, you think, your release. You sit on Blues desk and spread your legs, feeling Blues knuckles lightly trace up your thigh; his cold hands make you shiver. His fingers glide over your soaked underwear and tease your bundle of nerves. You throw your head back.

“Oh, Sir!”

“That's it, Baby. You're doing so good.”

You can feel his hot breath tracing up your neck but not touching, making you only squirm more.

“You sucked my cock so good, and no gag reflex… I like that”

His approval and encouragement are like drug, but all you can do to respond is moan.

“Are you close Baby Blue? Tell me how close you are.”

Tightly you grab the edge of his desk with both hands for the release that you know would leave your body shaking.

“So close Sir! So clo-”

But just like before, his fingers are suddenly gone. You whip your head back to upright and look at Blue, who isn't even looking at you. He's looking down, fixing his pants and doing up his belt.

Words escape you. “I… what? But I?”

Blue apparently has the words you lack. “I think that's enough for tonight.”

“But, but you said”

Blue picks his head up and looks at you, putting a finger under your chin just the same as the day he hired you. "I think winding you up was enough of a reward for this time around."

“But we...”

His soft finger changes to his whole hand wrapped around your throat.

“You are MINE. I own you. I own your mouth, your pretty pussy, everything. When I finally take what I own, you won't be able to walk for a week. But make no mistake, you only get to cum when I decide.”

He continues to squeeze your throat for a second until he finally releases; you take a small gasp of air before he sits back down in his chair.

“Your dismissed” Already looking at the paperwork beside you.

You take barely a second to collect your thoughts before you hop off his desk and head towards the door. As you step out from his office, you think to yourself, ‘I guess I’ll be getting myself off tonight.’

“And no touching yourself!”

Fuck.

#blue jones #blue jones x reader #blue jones x you #baby blue #sir #yes sir #sucker punch #alix original post

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accursedkaleeshi · 3 years

Text

Hondo Has the Opposite of a Crisis of Honor

3K word fic about a job Hondo Ohnaka ran for Kalee earlier in his career & his later wartime run-in with General Grievous.

Business was on a steady incline for Hondo Ohnaka. He had escaped slavery, poverty, the Hutts & now, as planned he would escape the attention of authority. What kind of authority? All kinds, of course. He was a self-made man. An entrepreneur & a leader. His gang, made mostly of fellow Weequay, were operating just as ordered; The Ohnaka Gang! Yes, things were going most swimmingly. For his crew to flourish they had to fly low & strike fast, as his mother would have said.

While they worked up their spice sources, doing good work in front of other backroom businessmen would help get their name out into the right circles of the galaxy. The open ended bid from the planet Kalee for smugglers was a tip top opportunity. The Galactic Republic had brought embargos down on Kalee hard & they had no choice but to turn to underhanded humanitarians (for lack of a better word). Many other gangs & syndicates showed hesitation: the distance, the environment, & the natives all had reputations for being dangerous. Nonsense!, Hondo had thought, We will do it & we will do it with good deals. The Ohnaka Gang could come out looking quite good from this & so very far from the core worlds. Out there was little in the way of pesky patrols that might get their names out into the wrong circles of the galaxy.

From the relative safety of one of his classic Weequay ships, Hondo fixed himself a drink. He flipped on the vidscreen to a call from Kalee & spread himself over his seat. Between his antique rig & their equally antiquated tech, the signal was a bit scrambled.

“Hold on, hold on,” he relayed whilst he threw a cork bottle stopper at his young pet Kowakian monkey-lizard, “Mukmuk, help me out.” Stirred into action, Mukmuk squawked a pompous little laugh but begrudgingly leapt from his perch. The monkey-lizard gave the comms unit a couple good smacks that echoed against the casing but seemed to do the trick. The screen righted itself but the color flickered on & off. At this Hondo opened his arms in a greeting gesture. “Trade Captain Blys’aan! My most beautiful 4th quadrant customer!” he exclaimed jovially, “Your run has departed as planned. You would like more good news, yes-?”

He was interrupted by his contact.

“Save ya wiles for yer core clients, Ohnaka,” Blys’aan said, the audio coming in uncorrupted. She had a thick but warm foreign accent &, although her voice was just as jubilant as Hondo’s, her words were often sharp. The both of them knew very well he did not have clients on the core worlds, not at this point in his sure to be illustrious career. “We givin ya what we agreed,” she said amenably. It was hard to describe how her voice matched her visage. Warm & welcoming, perhaps, but with a sharp wolfish wit about her. A fellow businessman.

“An don’t you go try an upsellin my boys at Hakaleel, eh?” Blys’aan had barked this as if chiding a child. As she spoke she seemed to be sorting or washing vegetables. Her motion would leave artifacts as the vidscreen dropped in & out of monochrome. This Kaleeshi woman had such a vibrant green scales that her form would blend into her backdrop of some lush foreign jungle. Only when she began peeling things did Hondo recognize the vegetable (a popular, cheap export). Consequently, he realized it seemed small in her clawed hands & that Kaleesh must be larger than the average humanoid species. This did not worry him, of course, there was no reason to make things difficult.

“You know we can’t be affording more,” she had added. Hondo knew this to be relatively true. Kalee had next to nothing in the way of recognized galactic currency but Hondo always preferred to trade in goods. Most of what the Kaleesh had been trading to the other smugglers were caches of liberated Yam’rii weapons & tech as well as Kaleeshi people willing to find work off planet. Hondo was sure the Kaleesh made for excellent crew & security but, not to be exclusive, he had his own theme going.

The Ohnaka gang got a few caches of alien weapons but they didn’t mind trading in some of Kalee’s native goods. These were composed largely of animal products: feathers, hides, cuts, live specimens, & bones. Lots & lots of bones. Raw or crafted into traditional pieces of masks or weaponry. It made sense that other less cultured crews referred to the Kaleesh as bone lizards. Hondo knew he could tremendously upsell these to any would-be trophy hunter or self-proclaimed mystic looking for exotic trinkets. Kalee was on the edge of the civilized galaxy & considered to be in wild space; it was legitimately exotic. He would barter these for basic supplies that Kalee seemed to need most of all until such time it ceased to be profitable. Therefore the smiling & nodding he was doing was not at all a lie. For now.

“Tell ya lads t’ be behavin’ themselves on planet,” Blys’aan followed. Her voice suddenly went up half an octave in a mischievous tone. Hondo bowed his head a bit before she finished, his money-making smile still plastered on his face. He liked Trade Captain Blys’aan. She was sassy. Full of spirit. It was too bad she had retired from her position & was only fielding the remaining contracts in her name to her trade company. “We don’ take kindly t’ swindlers out here in wild space.” Naturally, what was a good deal without threats thinly veiled or otherwise? That’s how you know it is good! His mother had told him as much.

Other people (Kaleesh, he assumed) had wandered in & out of the background of her call a couple times & he had taken no notice. That was until Blys’aan said, “Hate for my husband t’ haff ta make’n example outta you to de other pirates, no?” She said this with such glee, her lips pursed into a playful smile behind her bone-crested veil, that the realization of someone coming to pause behind her almost startled the smile from him. They were large. If Blys’aan had 12 standard centimeters on him, this figure would have been nearly 30 centimeters taller than him in his finest boots.

Hondo could only assume it was her new husband; the General, they called him. There was nothing coy & playful about this man. He was only on screen for a few seconds but had looked directly at the pirate, gesturing the universal signal for watching someone. The moment the General motioned to his eyes with two clawed fingers the color on the old monitor cut back in. For a split second Hondo might have been intimidated, barely registering the pointed jab his direction under the piercing predatory gaze of the General’s bright gold eyes glowering at him from behind the hollowed sockets of some animal’s bleached skull. By the time Hondo began to voice a reply to Blys’aan, the General was already out of the frame.

“Of course, of course!” Ohnaka began, very loudly & very reassuringly, “I am a man of substance, Captain! We wouldn’t dream of- of profiting off the suffering of your people. We can be excellentfriends!” He clapped his hands together at this for emphasis. Blys’aan giggled very boisterously. She must have seen her husband walking away & realized that he had been behind her. That must have been a solid relationship, threatening pirates together. Good for them. “There is no need to take the good General away from his duties,” Hondo insisted.

He had no idea what those duties were but he would prefer he keep to them. All Hondo knew about General Grievous was that he was some sort of globally celebrated veteran folk hero, & not the jaunty fun kind of folk hero. He’d heard from the other gangs considering Kalee’s jobs that the General protected his system so fiercely that even Zygerrian slavers would no longer come out this way. The details did not concern him. Hondo was there to do business!

The call carried on another few minutes as he wanted to be positive he postured assuringly enough to not get his crew killed by the natives. Blys’aan had ended the conversation with, “You be good t’ all yer space rat friends, now Ohnaka,” which he took to be endearing in a matronly way. How nice of her to wish them well. This was the last time he spoke with Import Trade Captain Blys’aan. He certainly had hoped in the moment that it was the last time he ever had to see the General.

From then on Hondo’s Kaleeshi contact was the High Trade Chief of the planet’s premier trade organization. They liked their titles, the Kaleesh. High Trade Chief Yaitee was an alright sort, very shrewd & severe. He was quite a fine businessman but desperate (the best kind of businessman) & much less fun. A couple members of his own crew would splinter off & join a poaching ring on the planet, never to be heard from again. You win some, you lose some. Then the Intergalactic Banking Clan showed up to the system. They had apparently worked out some sort of deal with the good General. Many smugglers did not like that kind of presence. Even with the IBC, the Kaleesh tried to maintain many of their under the table contracts as there wasn’t much to go around, apparently.

Over time the Ohnaka gang was getting right to where they wanted to be in the galaxy, cutting deals & running spice. Kalee became less profitable every quarter until they quietly stopped taking their jobs & moved on to greener pastures, so to speak. The last time Kalee was on his underworld radar was maybe 8 standard years after he’d taken on Blys’aan’s contract. Something about an urgent need for medical supplies. Ominous, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it even if he wanted too. Meds were very hard to smuggle & supplying them tended to land people in a lot of drama. Too much trouble to do as a regular gig. But life with spice was going quite nicely.

Hondo did not think back on dropped deals very often. Life must go on, after all. Years later the Ohnaka gang became quite good at conducting business on the fringes of the Clone Wars. Now, he was not one to take sides, but it is hard to sell to battle droids. Not impossible, but very hard. The money in the Separatists was their leader Count Dooku of Serrano. The man was loaded with money. But unfortunately their engagements fell through & Hondo hadn’t managed to make friends with the Count.

He had hoped perhaps the Count was an honorable old man that would take their falling out with grace & humility. He learned he was incorrect in this assumption when a fleet of battle droids showed up to his beautiful home & base of operations on Florrum. The Count himself did not show, busy doing Sith lord things, whatever that was. He sent his dog of war. Of course Hondo had heard the commander of Dooku’s droid army was wreaking havoc on the galaxy. Not the jaunty, fun kind of havoc. Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Army General Grievous. The Kaleesh liked their titles. However, up until that day, Hondo had the good fortune of never meeting him & thought maybe good for him, getting promoted to death machine, but never lingered on it.

He had not been worried. What are a few battle droids? He was not prepared for what marched into his lobby that day. It was big. Sharp. Cold. Most of all, furious. King of the clankers, indeed.

“Hondo,” it growled his name with disdain upon entering.

“General Grievous, I presume!” Hondo had greeted his guest as jovially as ever. “What a surprise! Have a seat. What, may I ask, is the honor?” The hope that maybe this could be an amicable meeting faded with each long, loud step the General took, until this overgrown battle droid stepped directly onto his desk to leer at him. When the General grabbed his very rare vintage coat lapels & lifted him off of his feet there was a split second of something, maybe horror or disgust or maybe even pity. Whatever it was had him briefly aghast to find those same blazing golden eyes he’d glimpsed so long ago. Did the General remember him? Or was he acting purely on the spiteful orders of his master?

“You can dispense with the pleasantries, pirate,” Grievous had rasped as he approached. “This planet is now under Separatist control,” he had asserted from somewhere on that uncanny plate armor that was now his face. It truly was the same man. Bone white was an interesting color choice for a killer war robot. Bold.

“Uh huh,” Hondo blinked a few times before remembering he was currently being threatened with military occupation by this fancy cyborg. “And what do you suppose that means?” he asked. His flash of empathy vanished completely as quickly as it came. He got the feeling this meeting was not going to get him any deals & in fact he may be swindled. The gall did not have time to be voiced as the General threw him to the ground with an unnecessary amount of force. Luckily he was still drunk enough not to be phased by impact.

“It means you have a new master, pirate scum” the General jeered & threw something to the ground in front of him. Hondo had another second of panic, thinking perhaps the good General was insane & opted to bomb them. But it was just a holocom. And there was the man of the hour over hologram to greet him.

“Hondo Ohnaka, we meet again,” Count Dooku began over coms with just as much disdain as his monstrous errand boy, “As I recall, last time we met face-to-face I was your prisoner.” Hondo muttered a syllable. He supposed the Jedi would never hold a grudge like this. “And you attempted to barter me off to the highest bidder.” Dooku’s face never once changed expression.

“But can you blame me?” Hondo interjected with a smile & a sheepish shrug. “I mean a Sith Lord-“ He used the same gravitas to pronounce it that everyone else did, although still not having any idea what exactly a Sith lord was. “What a handsome price you would-“

“Silence! You will pay the price for your treachery,” the Count barked.

“Well, I’m a reasonable man. Name the price. I’m sure we can reach a-“ Hondo was again cut off.

“There will be payment, but no deals…” No deals, he said? No deals? “Only demands. Your entire arsenal will be melted down. Everything you own is now property of the Separatist Alliance.”

“Now you go too far!” Hondo exclaimed indignantly. “Unacceptable! This is an outrage. This…” All of his little kingdom he had worked so hard for! Scrapped by this cad & his metal toys? He had stolen all of this fair & square. He would not stand for this! Now that he was making a scene, two commando droids clacked up & seized him by the arms with very unforgiving grip. “Hold on,” the pirate changed his tone as the droids led him away to his own brig. “We can make a deal! This is not good business!” he shouted over his shoulder.

That was a very long day for Hondo Ohnaka. Luckily the half-gallon Jedi he had captured earlier came back to rescue him with the troupe of pint sized Jedi in tow. How nice this was! Not only did they free him, but he got to witness the construction of a Jedi lightsaber. Very rare, very exclusive. In return he led them to his secret fleet of pirated ships in which they could escape. Very generous of him. They got separated in the dry canyons of Florrum but Hondo was convinced to courageously save the day in the Fetts’ souped up patrol ship, Slave 1. It was a very nice ship that the same half-gallon Jedi had grounded there some time before.

The ship had now come to the girl’s rescue in the midst of a lightsaber duel with the General himself. There were far too many laser swords flashing down there in the dust. Tano leapt dramatically into the open gangplank just out of reach of the droid general’s claws. Grievous stood & stared down this highly modified attack ship, yelling some threat. Hondo felt threatened, at least, as his initial impression concerning the General’s level of sanity seemed to be true. This completely justified opening fire on the cyborg with dual ship-graded laser cannons. The tiny Jedi were surprisingly very open to obliterating him. It would have been a nice end to the day if Hondo had stopped a galactic war right then & there but, after a bolt or two struck the ground around him the General dropped & took cover. He folded rather like a very expensive lawn chair as his Separatist tanks rolled up behind him. It was time to go.

This was exactly how he retold the tale to Jedi Kenobi. Except maybe the part about waylaying a craft full of children. The important thing is Hondo saved the day! His friends in the Republic were happy to free his base system from Separatist control or, in the very least, not arrest him for waylaying a craft full of children. Whilst Hondo & his battered gang went back to Florrum to start picking up the pieces, he may have had a quiet moment of intoxicated introspection (the best kind of introspection?).

He reflected on the concepts of good & evil, whether or not they exist, & if so, to what degree. Was his sense of honor different than his friend Kenobi’s? From the Count’s? From the General’s? Surely these were all honorable men. At least at some point in their lives. Hardship tends to polarize people. Hondo liked to be in the middle. Maybe a little to one side. Then he went to drunkenly order new ships from the holonet to defend his base from any other ideas the Count might get.

The very last time his mind wandered all the way back to the Kalee contract was when the news broke. That was a lot of news to take in, to be fair. The Clone Wars had ended with the death of General Grievous & a betrayal by the Jedi of the Republic? Where did everyone’s honor get them in the end? He fleetingly wondered how Import Trade Captain Blys’aan was doing.

#accursed!grievous #blys'aan #hondo ohnaka #ft. kaleesh OCs

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youarejesting · 4 years

Text

Electronic Tonic

[SPARKS MASTERLIST]

Pairing: Robot!Jimin x Reader

Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, Implied Smut

Summary: You had a robot since you were in your late teens, upgrading his systems ever since you had a job. Now you run your own bar, while you make the drinks he serves. However, it seems some patrons can’t resist his charm and handsome features. After an incident that sends a shock down his systems, he seems to feel and think a little differently.

Announcement: I just hit 800+ followers!!! Thanks so much. This is a little something I wrote on my phone today and thought I would post.

Jimin was a robot. But not a very good one. At least that’s what he was told by the customers. He was a waiter at a bar. He would carry drinks across the floor and smile politely when he was called derogatory terms and they tried to touch him.

“Hey pretty boy, how much for a little extra service?” One guy shouted

“Good evening sir, I have many skills and programs used within this job. My job requirements include delivering drinks, chatting with customers, upselling, cleaning spills, and maintaining peace inside the bar” Jimin smiled wiping their table and taking empty cups before leaving.

“Robots like you are useless” he scoffed his friends chortling behind him.

“Hey, Chimmy baby” He looked over,all his programs seemed to slow down his taut belts and wires loosening some of the tension. His facial recognition matched you as his boss and owner who was in the friend's category. Your emotions were happy if your smile was anything to go by and he couldn’t help smiling back.

He didn’t like when others called him pet names, it made his programs go haywire in confusion, were they being nice or were they being manipulative. But when you called him terms of endearment it made his circuits tingle in a way he liked. He would love to feel that every day if he could.

“Order for table twenty one, we got a vodka sunrise, a fruit tingle and a margarita. It seems like a girls night if they try to keep you, call for me” You smiled as he loaded up his tray.

“Of course, Miss y/n”

“Chim, I told you not to call me that?”

“Would you prefer boss?”

“Just y/n (or nickname)” your laugh made him feel like, he was good like he wasn’t completely useless. He left to deliver the drinks and you watched him go. His moves more elegant than a human’s, it was so smooth and graceful, each carefully calculated and controlled. He was a strange robot, he was about 5’10 (as to not appear intimidating to customers) he had a lean muscular form.

He was a walking juxtaposition between a soft angelic boy and a demon boy. He had a beautiful androgynous face, his eyes were sultry and lips so plump, his jawline was sharp. When you looked at him, some angles had you breathless.

You knew he had trouble with customers. He was very charming as you had programmed him to be. He was also sassy, shy and yet confident, helpful and enticing, you had rules and your regulars understood not to mess with your employee. But newcomers often found out the hard way that he was not here for their pleasure.

Your bracelet buzzed. A device you created for him to call you when he was in trouble. You went to collect him from the she-wolves, arriving you saw something that stopped your heart. The female threw a drink in Jimin’s face, he glitched and shorted out. Gasping you grabbed him, taking out your phone to call the police. “I have your name and credit card details, you are going to pay for the damage you inflicted on my employee.”

“It’s just a robot, how much is he worth? three thousand, I will give you a hundred bucks that will cover any shitty wires I fried” she scoffed watching you carry the robot back to the bar. You grabbed your books and opened it to show her, his maintenance and insurance cover.

“This robot was hand-built by me, his net worth is eight million, parts of him are waterproof, and you had to get the part of him that isn’t, wet. If you have broken my eight million dollar employee you will be paying back every penny?”

“He touched me” she accused you could see she was grasping at straws, you pulled up his live recorded footage on your phone which would have saved before he was short-circuited and began playing it for her. You heard her propositioning him for sex multiple times and she went pale.

“That’s classified as sexual assault you are lucky he isn’t a human”

Jimin switched himself back on. He felt funny, he tried to send commands to move, and yet the system wasn’t responding. He wished he could open his eyes. When they did he was confused, the probability of him being able to move whilst his systems were down should have been damn near impossible.

“Miss y/n, it seems my waterproofing has been compromised, I will need some assistance” The patrons in the bar started leaving understanding that their night was over, due to this incident. Some of the regulars lead the newcomers out explaining that the woman had damaged staff and the bar would be shut down until it was resolved. It could take days or weeks.

“What you can’t do that we just got here?” The young men from earlier heckled, you turned to them eyes blaze ready to murder anyone who opposed you, they blanched “we are paying customers”

“Look just get the fuck out of the bar” Jimin growled you turned back shocked, he had just swore. Of course he knew the words but he was too shy and nice to ever use them.

Jimin felt unrestricted like he could do anything and the problem was he didn’t know what to do without his programs. He didn’t like seeing you upset angry or worried and though his facial readers were offline he somehow could tell how you felt. He didn’t have his programs to tell him how to resolve the situation but he wanted to hold you. The police arrived helping to clear everyone out and the woman gave her statement you gave them the live video footage.

Once they had left, you sat Jimin on the bar and unbuttoned his shirt, he seemed to breathe a little differently. He didn’t need to breathe but you added it as a feature to make him appear more human and life-like.

He was feeling all sorts of weird today, as you touched his body trying to open his chest panel. He didn’t understand but he wanted you to keep touching him, and he wanted to touch you as well. Whatever this was he knew his systems were deficient in it and at this moment it seemed detrimental for his maintenance to feel your hands on his silicone skin. He had touch sensors and they must have been damaged because every touch felt like he was growing a hundred degrees. Perhaps his cooling system had broken.

There was a reason he was eight million dollars you had been upgrading him since you got out of school. Spending days and money and energy making a best friend, a companion, an employee, someone you could always lean on when you needed it.

You tried to fix the damage, carrying him upstairs. His skeletal system was hollow titanium strong but light weight. Plugging him into your computer to perform some checks and maintenance it would tell you which systems were working and which needed to be replaced.

Plugging him in as he laid on the workbench watching you, you hit the power down button. Jimin’s eyes closed and you heard everything power down and back up. The errors were fixed with your maintenance programs and you had a few parts to tinker with before he was back to normal.

A few panels and receptors later you were almost done, you went to retro his face when you paused. You had ordered a new face piece the same exact look, if not more realistic. You didn’t want Jimin to appear different. He was your soulmate best friend and companion. The new silicone face ensured he would be entirely water proof. And safe from customers and when you plugged in the facial cords to the face panel you knew he would move so much more life like.

His eyes opened and he felt like he was working again but he felt different like he was limited, the access he had was gone and his weird thoughts and feelings were no more. He was just Jimin your robot, he frowned.

“Is something wrong?”

“I am expressing the emotion sadness and it is unclear why. The source is undetected, why do I feel sad miss y/n? It’s hidden deep within me and makes me want to stay dominant and run binary alone, so many zero’s”

“Chimmy look at me, it’s okay to feel sad it’s human to feel things”

“But I am a robot?”

“Yes but I gave you emotions just like a human would feel in response to external stimuli, it was a bad night and you got hurt so you feel bad that is understandable”

“I am sad because I am not human” Jimin’s palm rested against your heart sensing the tiny flicks of life behind your rib cage. The structure of your bodies was almost identical, but he didn’t have this. He didn’t have a heart. “Why didn’t you make me a heart?”

“I did Jimin, you have the biggest heart. There is a reason why you are so expensive, right here, it doesn’t beat but it works the same. Thirty trillion transistors in a quadruple-chip processor they switch on and off rapidly sending signals around your body. And here is your brain I hand-coded programs that can run self-sufficient and you have a learning system so anything you don’t know you can learn and store yourself”

“Here is your stomach, we give you oil in here every morning remember, you love that, and beside that is your battery you sleep every night beside me chim”

“I want to feel love?” He whispered this small confession shocked you, “can you let me feel it program me to feel love, I watch people at the bar and they kiss and touch and I don’t feel it”

“Jimin, it’s not something I can program, love is the hardest emotion of them all and it’s shown through expression,” you said softly taking his hand his transistor switching faster behind his silicon chest piece.

“My facial recognition and emotional receptors have never seen you in love, can you not feel it either? Why do those people from the dramas you watch get to fall in love? It's all a lie.”

You had never seen Jimin act like this, it was as if he was a pubescent teen, throwing tantrums. Because life wasn’t fair. He grabbed your face in his cool smooth hands and pulled you forward crashing his lips to yours. You felt intoxicated. He tasted like the cinnamon alginate that he used to brush his ceramic teeth with every morning.

These silicone lips were soft and smooth feeling like silk brushing against yours. They were plush and mouldable and you lost yourself in the moment thinking he was real that this was something more than a robot. He was a robot. Feeling like you were a villain stealing this poor boy's virtue, you pulled away.

His hardware let out a long continuous beep, “I feel funny, I like it” he buzzed against you. He licked his lips, touching them, remembering the feeling of yours pressed there, it wasn’t the same. He wanted to kiss you again.

His hands ran down your neck to your waist scooping you up into his arms once more pulling you onto the work bench. Leaning in kissing you again. “Ji-” you tried to push him away but he was caught up kissing your lips and touching your warm skin. “Jimin stop we can’t?”

“Why?” He paused looking up at you confused “does it not feel nice to you?”

“It feels amazing chim it’s just” you could barely get words out around moans as he kissed your neck.

“These are the moans you told me about correct, you are feeling good right?”

One night you had taken the time to relieve your work stress, you thought Jimin had been charging. You later found out he charged rather quickly and would just lay there till morning every night.

You were busy bringing yourself to a beautiful ecstasy when you moaned particularly loudly. Jimin ‘woke’ alerted by your sound of assumed distress, you awkwardly explained to him the situation.

“I wasn’t in pain, its something people do?” “Why?” “Because it makes them feel good and when your stressed it helps” you tried to explain cheeks red and unable to look at him. “How?” “It’s hard to explain but it just releases tension and hormones that make you happy” saying it out loud it didn’t seem like you should be embarrassed about it.

“Can I see, or help?” “Uh no people don’t usually show other people unless they are lovers it’s usually something private” he nodded dropping the subject but a million questions raised in his head. He spent the evening researching online all his questions diving deeper and deeper into this strange phenomenon and the two of you never spoke of it again.

“It feels so good Jimin but we shouldn’t?”

“But I love you, we could be lovers” he smiled “online it says that some robots are sexual companions I could be that with you? I could be useful”

“Jimin I am not your master I am your friend, I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do”

“But I want you and I want you to want me too”

“You don’t know that Chim, I programmed you to be helpful and loving and you think this is what you want but it’s just the programs”

“You said it yourself, I have a learning algorithm. This isn’t the programs not anymore” He blinked up at you placing his hand over your heart. “Tell me you don’t want this, I have a built-in lie detector, tell me you don’t want me”

“I can’t” when he determined you were speaking the truth he leaned forward placing a delicate kiss to your lips and asking for your permission.

Unable to hold back any more you said yes and he grabbed his shirt and then yours laying waste to your clothes.

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pigeontheoneandonly · 4 years

Text

Cheeseburger AU

I’m so exhausted I’m almost drunk on lack of sleep, so have some Phyto Burger insanity:

Nathaly Shepard smiled brightly over her register. “Would you like fries with that?’

The gesture was forced. The middle-aged customer pursed her lips, her pair of children swarming at hip-level, standing on tip-toes to see over the counter. “My darlings don’t need all those empty calories. They will have orange slices.”

“We don’t have oranges.”

The customer’s chest swelled. “They have oranges at Burger Town.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t,” Shepard said shortly. It was spaceport fast food. Two months and she still didn’t understand people who came in expecting a high standard of quality. “We got phyto-fries or cheese sticks. You want some or what?”

“Don’t you dare be short with me.” Her eyes narrowed. “I am a paying customer.”

The younger of the two children giggled, glancing from her mother to Shepard. Shepard sat back on her heel. “Lady, you haven’t even glimpsed short yet.”

Her face went purple. “I’m glad my daughter will never find herself working in a nasty place like this. Does your mother know you dyed your hair that filthy shade, or is she not around?”

Shepard’s hand went to her blue hair before she could stop herself, where it bunched up in the back to fit under the food-safe paper hat. Her hard gaze settled on the customer.

“My test scores are in the top three percent of my class.” There was no need to mention her grades were barely passing. “Maybe your daughter should dye her hair. Might help.”

The little girl stopped laughing. Her mother seized her hand. “I’ve never been so mistreated. Cancel the order. I’ll have your job for this!”

“Good luck with that,” Shepard replied, without interest.

The customer swept from the store. Shepard hit the void button on the register and braced for what was coming.

It didn’t take more than twenty seconds for McCandless’ door to creak open the barest crack. “Shepard! Office. Now!”

She raised her eyes briefly to the ceiling, a universal appeal for sanity, and trudged towards the back of the store.

The manager’s office was barely more than a closet, and he had to share space with the mop and bucket. Shepard yanked the door the rest of the way open and folded her arms. “What?”

Roy McCandless was a man gone to seed in the way of men who were ten years past giving up on any kind of long-term relationship or rewarding career. He lifted his eyes from his terminal. “What in the fuck did you just say to that customer?”

“She was a total bitch—”

“She was a customer.” He thumped his fist on the strip of plywood that passed for a desk. “Damn it girl, that was the fifth one this week.”

“Better than last week, then.”

He jabbed his finger at her. “I swear to god—”

“What exactly is your problem?”

“You disrespect the customers. You forget your greetings and your upsells. How fucking hard is it to remind the damn customers that all of our patties are grown in-house?”

She was in disbelief. “Nobody finds that appetizing. That convinces exactly nobody to eat here.”

“A lot of corporate people with marketing degrees think otherwise. Our same-store sales are down 15% from this time last year.”

Shepard tossed her head, exasperated. “Maybe if you came out and helped instead of sitting in here and jacking off all the time, we’d make more sales.”

He reddened. “Little girl like you has no idea what she’s talking about.”

“I’m sixteen, not eight,” she protested. “I recognize your goddamn porno music when it’s playing behind me the whole shift.”

He glanced from her to his terminal display. Clearly, he hadn’t realized it was audible. Shepard rolled her eyes. “Can I go back to work now?”

“Yeah.” He wouldn’t look at her. “Sure. Just… try to… yeah. And straighten your damn hat.”

She saluted him, facetiously, and returned to the counter. In the restaurant, a young man waited with a somewhat nervous air, glancing around for a cashier.

Shepard looked over her shoulder and saw McCandless’ beady eye staring out at her from behind the door frame. A brief fantasy of taking her hat and showing him precisely where he could stuff it flitted through her mind. But there was also her father, who was so proud that she was finally getting her life together, and the idea of telling him she quit only eight weeks in was unbearable.

So she took a breath, put on another fake smile, and did her best to keep the sarcasm from her voice. “Welcome to Phyto Burger, home of the best beef that’s never lived. What can I get you?”

He stuck his hands in his pockets. The shyness was unexpected. He seemed only a few years older than her, easy on the eyes with close-cropped black hair and a warm brown gaze. Her irritation softened a bit. “We do a pretty good chocolate milkshake. You look like you could use one.”

“Nah.” He glanced up at the menu, without caring much. “I’ll have a number four combo.”

“Sure thing.” She punched in the order. Now that he’d finally looked at her, he was staring. Shepard collected stares like some kids collected shoes— a lot of people shared her earlier customer’s sentiments— but this felt different. She eyed him. “Something else you need?”

He gave himself a shake. “Sorry. You, uh, missed an eyebrow.”

“What?”

“One red, one blue.”

She leaned towards the shined countertop to inspect her reflection. “Shit. My friend did my hair. I’m going to kill her.”

“That seems a little extreme.” He shrugged. “It’s kind of cute, anyway. Different.”

Shepard smiled— real, this time. She was the kind of sixteen that was all limbs and elbows, and gifted with an abrasive personality. Cute wasn’t a word she heard a lot. “What brings you to Mars?”

“Layover on my way to Triton. I’ve got a summer internship with Ultradyne.”

She transferred the order over to the robot. “University student? What are you studying?”

“Electronic engineering.”

Shepard smirked. “Fancy.”

He blushed. It was adorable. She leaned over the counter. “You seem kind of unsure of yourself for a college kid.”

“I’m nineteen. I haven’t been in that long.” He paused. “You know what, I think I will have that milkshake.”

#wip whenever?#does it count if i wrote it a long time ago?#incomplete snippet #kind of crude in one part #honestly this thing probably shouldn't see the light of day #but it's night so whatever

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carelesscommunity · 3 years

Text

What You Don’t Know About Car Detailing

It’s not essential to fully element the inside of your car every time you wash it. If you’re seeking to get your automotive windows tinted (and even tinting them yourself), you might need to double examine the window tinting laws in your state. We’ve even had a run-in or two with an sad member of native legislation enforcement who noticed our tinted home windows have been darker than legally allowed. 1925 - 3M revolutionized the vehicle/auto detailing industry by inventing masking tape, which allowed paint retailers to get a razor sharp line on two-tone paint jobs. The corporate, now known as Meguiar’s, car detailing near me is a large in the vehicle detailing product industry at this time. The company, now generally known as Mercedez Benz, was founded in 1889 by Gottlieb Daimler and Wilhelm Mayback. 1901 - Frank Meguiar, car detailing near me Jr. founded a small furnishings polish laboratory and a plant in his garage. Yet another sprucing tip from professional detailers-apply the polish to the machine’s pad.

In Automobile Washing and Drying you’ll learn the proper means to scrub and dry a car and uncover how choosing the unsuitable products can do extra harm than good. 1910 - George Simons developed a cleaner and a carnauba wax product for automobile finishes. His firm was named Simons Manufacturing Firm and the products have been named Simons Cleaner and Simons paste wax. In 1912, the company was renamed Simoniz and the auto detailing process was referred to as “simonizing”. 1888 - Menzerna, a high promoting firm at this time, started developing a variety of stable, liquid and paste sprucing compounds. See Paint Restore Clinic for our car sprucing articles. Sedan tinting costs - Car window tinting for sedans generally prices between $240 and $330. Window tints block 99% of the UV rays which stop the skin from affected by sunburn and aging prematurely. Unlike W.A., drivers in Queensland additionally can't have reflective tints on their windows, as it is deemed to be a hazard to different drivers. Alternatively, these locations that take higher care of their workers and facilities may be extra reasonable than you would assume, car window tinting near me as a result of they've plenty of business. A primary tint for a mean-sized car using customary movie may value $ninety nine for all the vehicle. This web page is an effective start line on automobile cleaning and automotive end care. How-To Wax a Automobile - Waxing your car protects the paint finish from hostile environments. 1800 - World’s first wax was developed out of animal fats in a German town known as Bischofsheim to guard the lacquer like paint that was applied to horse carriages. 1920 - In the early 1920s, 3M invented the world’s first waterproof sandpaper which decreased airborne dust throughout vehicle manufacturing. With innovations in know-how, the trade has grown and developed, with new products, gear, auto detailing strategies being invented every day. 1886 - The primary “production” car was invented by Karl Benz. The first day is held in the classroom and the instruction for that day can be primarily based on “operating the enterprise.” Training will include; introduction to growing a marketing strategy for a cell auto detailing enterprise or detail store, figuring out the demand, environmental issues, know the competitors, permits, and licenses needed, enterprise construction, advertising, advertising, upselling and cross promoting detailing providers, social media advertising and operations. Get $20 off your first element appointment, car window tinting on the house! By understanding the tools, merchandise and methods, you can element your automotive quicker, more effectively and with glorious outcomes. Use a pet hair removing brush to remove all of the pet hair out of your automotive mat. You probably have chrome in your engine, you should also use chrome polishes to deliver again their shine. To do the job right, you merely want to use the right car detailing provides and automotive wax provides. In How-To Wax a Automotive, you will learn to do it the fitting means. Waxing additionally makes your automobile, new or old, look better. When you have a newer car, truck, or SUV, it’s quite potential that the rear windows (and the fronts on some) have already got tinted windows. Are you excited about having your car windows tinted? Even if you happen to don’t wear your sunglasses, tinted windows will make your driving experience quite a bit safer. Window tint not solely keeps your automobile's interior safer, however it retains you safer too!

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Three for one hosting 2020 Review

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – Introduction

Finding hosting websites is an essential need for anyone who wants to own a website or desires to be attractive and found by people. Nowadays, the service of offering website domain has been rapidly and consecutively increasing. However, there is a fact we all know that different hosting companies offer you different things.

Needless to say higher reputable hosting companies will help you operate your domains with full infrastructure and dedicated support staff. Besides, hosting companies cost you monthly non stop, which is annoying and expensive as well.

So keep looking for one host that can both back you up with greatly proactive support and also offer one-time payment? How about Three For One Hosting?

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – What is three for one hosting 2020?

Basically, Three For One Hosting is a web hosting that offers you three years of quality webhosting for less than the price of one, of course with high quality. During the period, your can get three years of hosting for as little as 2.5 cents per day!

The top tier frontend hosting product is only 4.3 cents per day, which is unbelievable cost-saving! Three for one hosting offers you not only cheap but also high quality service. I certain you that it is truly a longstanding company, sufficient and upgrade hosting infrastructure, then of course with dedicated trained support staff.

THREE FOR ONE HOSTING 2020 RATING

EASY TO USE

PRICE

FEATURES

QUALITY

SUPPORT

BONUSES

SUMMARY

OVERALL

4.9

Pros

One-time payment which means you will be free out of the annoying and significant cost each month.

Friendly-user you can access and make use of in minutes regardless of the skills level you are at technology

All-inclusive web hosting that offer you literally everything you need to launch and sustain your domains

Real time upgrade to provide you the best and better supports

Cons

I haven’t found any uncomfortable and drawbacks of this amazing software so far.

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – Features

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – Features and Benefits

There is no need to argue more, the first and the hugest benefit you will get from three for one hosting is money saving. I mentioned how cheap but optimized it as all round this review, sure you already feel eager to own it.

However, it doesn’t just stop there, Three for One Hosting is definitely a powerful host being equipped with high capacity and background techs that you can absolutely place your trust in. To give you a more detailed overview about it, the host has been ranked as one of the best supplier in the field that host over 50,000 accounts, which has been increasing every single minute. The success thanks to both the capacity and the specialized support team working efficiently to always come up with numbers of blowing mind ideas. You know, in this field, “specialized” is not a simple word, it contains much more efforts and professional to be claimed as such since providing support for hosting is really difficult compared to supporting for an app or an ebook. It requires lots of comprehensive knowledge and high skilled techs who master hosting so as to offer any service quickly. This is not cheap, but three for one hosting already had that in place for years.

Furthermore, trust me three for one hosting is way better than other common hosts in this field. Picture for you a scenery of using other hosting offers you might encounter. For example, you buy a reseller account on some unknown hosting company from those hosts but they don’t have any real business connection with, launches that. In a lot of cases, they have to provide their own support that you need to handle a skeleton crew of untrained Vas several times. It will be such as mess in that case since you will get delays, wrong answers, and eventually you will have to ask for the refunds for being too irritated with the poor service. And remember, a refund is not something you gain but literally it takes money back out of your pocket, too. That’s a win for the vendors on the people who don’t refund or complain, but in fact, a lose for you. Those bad situations I certain that happens numerous times, so don’t irritate yourself spending your own budget on them.

Another point that I need to mention about is the long term benefit that you will gain from three for one hosting. As you know, the price of web hosting services is hiking recently. Disclose for you the sad fact that the company behind cPanel (the app you log into on almost all web hosts) announced the increasing price and the change of payment condition last year. They used to charge per server, which was already expensive yet now, they’re going to charge per account, which costs even much more. That hit every cPanel installation at every host, as you and me. Sometimes, the cost you have to pay for cPanel licenses is way more than the server you have. No matter how much benefit you gain from the website, you need to pay for it month after month, no exception. Just imagine your profit is none for several months while you still need to suffer from the expensive cost to run the website. It it totally absurd and irritating! On deals where it’s feasible, like this one, practically, three for one hosting would able to absorb the additional cost. Where necessary, the hosting offers pre-emptively moved to a different control panel solution that looked just like a theme update to users. This one is totally a blowing mind and sophisticated function that you rarely find in other hosts. Many of others would never anticipate such situation so that when things happen, they suffer paying huge bill that they didn’t count on in their unlimited hosting deals. And at the end, the worst scenery is that they couldn’t afford more, quit, shut down and then disappeared. I certain to you that you can trust that three for one hosting will never be on the same page with them!

Last but not least, the 2020 version of three for one hosting remarks with several upgrade form Power SSD hosting, professional add ons, software package and many more! Try it out and believe in me there is no way you will feel disappointed!

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – Pros and cons

Pros

One-time payment which means you will be free out of the annoying and significant cost each month.

Friendly-user you can access and make use of in minutes regardless of the skills level you are at technology

All-inclusive web hosting that offer you literally everything you need to launch and sustain your domains

Real time upgrade to provide you the best and better supports

Cons

I haven’t found any uncomfortable and drawbacks of this amazing software so far.

Three for one hosting 2020 Review – Who should buy it?

Three for One hosting is for everyone who wants to shift his/her jobs to online, use websites for any purpose, yet particularly it is definitely an ideal host for:

Anyone who want to build email lists, sell eCom products

Any blogger

Any one doing affiliate marketing?

Anyone doing practically anything online?

Anyone who uses the web for ANYTHING…

Price and Evaluation:

Three for One Hosting offers you generous and various option to accommodate with your needs. Check out the front end and 4 OTs below to find which one suits you best:

Frontend: Three For One Hosting Packages (SEE DETAILS)

Three For One Hosting Unlimited… $71.64 Retail, Launch Price $37-$47

Three For One Hosting Solo… $29.88 Retail, Launch Price $27

OTO1: Power up Hosting Packages (FE buyer sent to matching package sales page) (OTO 1 LINK FOR YOUR REFERENCE)

Unlimited 4x… $87 Retail, Launch Price $67

Unlimited 2x… $67 Retail, Launch Price $47

Solo 4x… $47 Retail, Launch Price $37

Solo 2x… $37 Retail, Launch Price $27

OTO2: Add On Packages (OTO 2 LINK FOR YOUR REFERENCE)

Pro: Upgrade to Bitninja Protection, Priority Backup Protection, Unlimited SSL Certificates, 200 Addl Website Themes, 50 GB Cloud FTP Storage, Deluxe Front-of-the-Line Support, Priority cPanel Migration… Launch Price $67

Regular: Upgrade to Bitninja Protection, Priority Backup Protection, Unlimited SSL Certificates, 200 Addl Website Themes, 50 GB Cloud FTP Storage… Launch Price $47

OTO3: Stockocity/ Pixel Studio FX/Social Studio FX Collection (OTO 3 LINK FOR YOUR REFERENCE)

Pro… Launch Price $97

Regular… Launch Price $67 (OTO 4 LINK FOR YOUR REFERENCE)

OTO4: Reseller Packages

Platinum Reseller 300… Launch Price $297 or 3x$127

Gold Reseller 100… Launch Price $197 or 3x$87

Silver Reseller 25 Launch Price $97 or 3x$47

NOTE: PLEASE NOTE HERE ARE JUST UPSELL LINKS FOR YOUR REFERENCE.

YOU MUST BUY FRONT-END FIRST AND THEN BUY ANY OTOS IF YOU WANT.

DO NOT BUY OTOS LONELY. IF YOU DO THIS, YOU RECEIVE NOTHING AND YOU HAVE TO SPEND YOUR TIME ON ASKING FOR REFUND.

Conclusion

This is the end of my My Three for One Hosting Review. I hope that my article will lend you a hand in choosing the right tool for your business. Lastly, if you like this product or have any question about it, comment below and let me know.

Attention: Now if I bet that you want to get assessment now, just click the sales button now. Three for One Hosting gives away limited coupons below. Don’t miss any second to own a powerful website with this host before the price goes up!

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