#stop malinconia

[gelatinatremolante]

Questo è stato di gran lunga il mio anno migliore dopo anni abbastanza tristi passati girando in tondo senza andare davvero da nessuna parte, con la sensazione di non poter fare nulla per cambiare le cose e ogni volta mi spaventava dover iniziare un nuovo anno. Mi spaventa anche adesso ma perché temo di perdere quello che ho ottenuto ma il mio buon proposito è cercare riuscire ad affrontarlo senza paura, perché se è andata bene quest'anno allora può andare bene anche il prossimo.

#non voleva essere una cosa così pesante #basta #stop tristezza #stop malinconia

[sciatu]

TAORMINA - PASSEGGIANDO

Nessun poeta può scrivere una poesia su Taormina perché Taormina è già poesia nel suo essere cielo e mare nella luce che la veste nella sua infinita primavera nei mille colori che l’accendono nel suo solare abbraccio perché qui nessun cuore può essere straniero o triste o vestirsi di malinconia o non credere nei sogni mentre parla con il mare dai suoi balconi fioriti da quel gradino del paradiso che è la sua piazza luminosa. Nessuno a Taormina può negare la bellezza o ignorare la felicità o non amare la vita. Perché Taormina è la luce del giorno è i versi di una tragedia nel teatro sospeso sul mare è il fascino dei palazzi medievali arrossati dal sole al tramonto Taormina è il sorriso delle sue bellissime donne è le lingue del mondo che qui trovano casa. Taormina è i suoi vicoli il verde ed i fiori che la vestono è il profumo dei suoi ristoranti l’ironia, la gioia delle scalinate il suo essere nobile e casta sensuale e provocante, sorella e amante ricca e generosa silenzio e musica. Taormina è abbracciare il nord è il lungo sereno viale che vive da levante a ponente è il suo volto rivolto a sud è il centro di tre mari lo specchio di sette cieli il tempo che si ferma la vita che scivola felice su i suoi antichi palazzi. Taormina è il crocevia di ogni poesia d’amore è le stelle d’agosto con cui le sue luci si confondono felici è il sospiro di amanti e poeti è la luna che la veste d’argento le nubi che la sfiorano la serenità che la culla il vento che l’accarezza. Taormina è il bello racchiuso nella sua profumata, antica multicolore, immensa, elegante anima mediterranea

TAORMINA - WALKING: No poet can write a poem about Taormina, because Taormina is already poetry, in its being sky and sea, in the light that dresses it, in its infinite spring, in the thousand colors that light it up in its sunny embrace because here no heart can be foreign or sad, or dress in melancholy, or not believe in dreams, while it speaks with the sea, from its flowered balconies, from that step of paradise, which is its luminous square. No one in Taormina can deny beauty, or ignore happiness, or not love life. Because Taormina is the light of day, it is the verses of a tragedy, in the theater suspended over the sea, it is the charm of the medieval buildings, reddened by the setting sun, Taormina is the smile of its beautiful women it is the languages of the world, which find a home here. Taormina is its alleys, the greenery and flowers that dress it, it is the scent of its restaurants, the irony, the joy of the stairways, its being noble and chaste, sensual and provocative, sister and lover, rich and generous silence and music. Taormina is embracing the north, it is the long serene avenue, which runs from east to west, it is its face facing south, it is the center of three seas the mirror of seven heavens, time that stops, life that slides happily, on its ancient buildings. Taormina is the crossroads of every love poem and the stars of August with which its lights happily merge is the sigh of lovers and poets it is the moon that dresses her in silver, the clouds that touch her, the serenity that cradles her, the wind that caresses her. Taormina is the beauty contained in its fragrant, ancient, multicoloured, immense, elegant Mediterranean soul

#sciatu #taormina #sicilia #art #messina #poetry #sicily

[la-baronessa-rampante]

Ho deciso di restare a letto, ignorare la sveglia, sistemare le coperte e scrivere al mio superiore che oggi non andrò a lavorare. Probabilmente non ci andrò per tutta la settimana ma ancora non lo sa. Non è una mattina qualunque. Non voglio pensare alla produttività, non voglio pensare a questo lavoro, ai miei colleghi che dovranno lavorare il doppio (e finalmente), alle call che avevo fissato per formare i futuri colleghi del “norde”. Sto rimandando tutto e non è per procrastinazione. Ho aperto gli occhi e il mio cervello mi ha ordinato di fermarmi. Mi sono guardata allo specchio e mi sono vista stanca, senza forze. Davvero devo andare contro quella ragazza lì? Dove lo trovo il coraggio di dirle che c’è un senso del dovere che ti impone ogni giorno di essere in forma e pronta a servire tutti? Questa mattina non lo trovo. Non è una mattina qualunque. Torno indietro con i pensieri. Quando andavo a scuola e mi svegliavo emotivamente stanca, era mia madre che mi chiedeva di stare a casa con lei. “Stai con me, prenditi un giorno di pausa. Facciamo i muffin ai mirtilli”. E la scuola spariva, lei metteva in pausa ogni mio pensiero. Mi sentivo fortunata ad avere una madre così sensibile e attenta, capace di mettere al primo posto il mio benessere. Solo oggi penso che magari quel giorno voleva pensare al suo di benessere e invece sì è ritrovata a fare muffin con la figlia adolescente, collezionista esperta di piagnistei. Vorrei chiederle scusa, anche se direbbe che una madre deve essere sempre pronta per i figli. Io questo non lo posso capire. Quello che ho capito questa mattina è che va bene premere “stop”. La mia ignara psicoterapeuta sarebbe fiera di me. Tuttavia risparmio 70 euro e lo metto per iscritto qui, per ricordarmelo e perché Dio è buono e perdona pure la tirchieria. Oggi sotto le coperte si sta bene, riesco a sentire il mio battito cardiaco, il mio respiro lento. Vorrei prendere consapevolezza di ciò che posso essere con e senza il dolore. Una donna fragile, capace di stare in piedi ma fragile. Non voglio coprire la malinconia di questo periodo, non voglio fare finta che non esista. I miei occhi sono questi. Voglio abbracciarmi, farmi spazio in questo letto caldo, capire perché sono arrivata fin qui. Non è una mattina qualunque ma va bene così.

#non è una mattina qualunque

[ludocorradino]

Today the heat is atrocious.

I lie down and the sun pierces me in every pore of my skin until it gets to my bones.

In the meantime I pray but not to God because too many times he has not listened to me.

I’ve got an empty mind and an empty heart.

you left months ago, however I only think of you with melancholy, the one you have when rembering a distant memory, a dead relative and a childhood abandoned to the wheat fields.

The sun hurts and the masks melt, in the meantime I write and you laugh far away from me.

The salt water reaching me gives me relief and almost allures my burning skin.

I drowen in the sea and I pray.

Silence pervades me, deafens me and cradles me but when my breath begins to fail I stop praying and thinking and i start waiting.

The sun is atrocious, but so are you.

I raise my eyes to the gloomy sky and the stars stare back.

I bring a cigarette to my lips with a disarming slowness, the smell of smoke is sprinkled in the air along with old memories and lost possibilities.

The moon sings with me, looks at me with pity and regrets being too far away, and not being able to ease my aching body as the sea previously did.

the moon cries for me, I hadn't seen her for years.

I close my eyes and see my mother sitting at the kitchen table with a sorrow face, immediately I reopen them, i cant stand the view and i need to stop disturbing her.

I pray and ask for forgiveness: im sorry if I hurt anyone.

The smoke takes possession of the air once again, my lungs get heavy as well as my eyes

I wake up, the heat is atrocious today.

oggi il caldo è atroce.

mi corico sulla sabbia e il sole mi perfora ogni poro della pelle fino ad arrivarmi alle ossa.

nel mentre prego ma non a Dio perché troppe volte non m’ha ascoltata.

c’ho la mente vuota, il cuore anche.

sono mesi che te ne sei andata e ora ti penso solo con la malinconia di un lontano ricordo, di un parente morto e un’infanzia abbandonata ai campi di grano.

il sole fa male e le maschere si sciolgono, intanto scrivo e tu ridi lontana.

l’acqua salata raggiungendomi mi reca sollievo e allieva per poco le mie bruciature.

mi affogo nel mare, prego.

il silenzio mi pervade, mi assorda e mi culla, quando il respiro inizia a mancare smetto di pregare e di pensare, aspetto.

il sole è atroce, tu anche.

alzo gli occhi al cielo e le stelle ricambiano lo sguardo.

porto la sigaretta alle labbra con una lentezza disarmante, l’odore di fumo si cosparge nell’aria insieme a vecchi ricordi e possibilità lasciate andare.

La luna canta con me, mi guarda con pietà e si rammarica per essere troppo lontana, per non riuscire ad allievare il mio corpo dolorante come fece il mare.

la luna piange per me, erano anni che non la vedevo.

chiudo gli occhi e vedo mia madre seduta al tavolo della cucina con una faccia addolorata subito li riapro: non riesco sopportare la vista.

prego e chiedo perdono: scusate se ho ferito qualcuno.

il fumo si impossessa nuovamente dell’aria i miei polmoni si fanno pesanti così come i miei occhi

mi sveglio, il caldo è atroce oggi.

#web weave #my webweaving #webweaving #sea #oceancore #did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd #poetry #poets on tumblr #poesia #unknown #summer #sunlight #moon #cigarettes #Spotify

[drclaudiosaracinodcsworld]

🔴🇮🇹 STOP TRISTEZZA E RABBIA SENZA TV?

non sei nato triste né depresso! Sei diventato depresso! Dimmi cosa pensi e ti dirò chi sei!

I condizionamenti provengono da tutti ma soprattutto da 49 anni ad oggi dalla famosa tv in senso lato che semina paura, odio, tristezza, povertà, sfiga, rassegnazione e chi più ne ha più ne metta!

Tutti cercano fuori la soluzione al loro problema e nessuno dentro di se’!

Basterebbe cambiare canale in tv per soli 30 giorni mettendo film e programmi e trasmissioni che fanno ridere, tirarsi su, gioire per cambiare vita per il bene tuo ed il bene dei tuoi cari!

Se e solo se non ci riesci da solo oppure il tuo caro non ne vuole sapere solo allora usa l’ipnosi DCS Vera e professionale unica al mondo!

Solo a te la scelta!

se le hai provate veramente tutte e Zero fatti, che ti costa provare l’ipnosi DCS Vera e professionale di Los Angeles Beverly Hills anche iniziando da 1 solo audio DCS che fa per il tuo bene ed il bene del tuo caro?

scopri di più su:

www.ipnologiAssociati.com

#tristezza #depressione #malinconia

#corpomrnteespirito #psisomatica #somatizzare #miracoli #miracolidellamente #magiadellamente #mente

#televisione #radio #tv #social #instagram #facebook #youtube

#povertá #ricchezza #ricco #poveromaonesto

#ipnosi #autoipnosi #ipnosidcs #autoipnosidcs #metododcs #drclaudiosaracino

#depressione #tristezza #malinconia #dr claudio saracino #autoipnosi #ipnosidcs #autoipnosi dcs #dcs metodo #benessere dcs #calcio #droga #autostima #drclaudiosaracino #ipnosi #atletico madrid #canna #artrite #artrosi #cannabis #dolori cronici #artridereumatoide #asma #autoipnosidcs

[poetyca]

🌸Anima in viaggio🌸 La malinconia della sera lo sguardo al cielo e la consapevolezza che ogni ombra si affaccia Ma l'alba è vicina per fare smettere ogni tremore e donare nuova forza all'anima in viaggio 12.03.2022 Poetyca 🌸🌿🌸#Poetycamente 🌸Soul on the go Melancholy of the evening the look to the sky and awareness that every shadow overlooks But dawn is near to make it stop every tremor and give new strength to the traveling soul 12.03.2022 Poetyca https://www.instagram.com/p/CfD2RNSK_yS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#poetycamente

[mai-senza-cuore]

Ridatemi la mia vita.

#vita dura #frasi vita #lifestyle #tristezza #malinconia #piangere #i'm crying #non ce la faccio senza te #basta #stop #help #help me #sto crollando #vincere

[ilpiratainnamorato]

Vorrei che piovesse dal soffitto di camera mia, vorrei che la stanza si riempisse, vorrei poter respirare sott'acqua, vorrei che il mondo si fermasse, vorrei stare da solo, vorrei il silenzio, vorrei dormire.

Ilpiratainnamorato

#pioggia #silenzio #mondo #stop #fine #vorrei #desiderio #tristezza #malinconia #resa #stanco #stanchezza #frasi tumblr #frasi belle #frasi vere #cit #citazioni #frasi tristi #acqua #affogare #nuotare #gravità #pace #relax #musica #suono #sonno #mare #letto #camera

[neowinestainedress]

amami ancora ; jeong jaehyun

title: amami ancora 

pairings: jeong jaehyun x OC, mentions of lee donghyuck x OC

genre: royal au, bodyguard au, fwb au, forbidden relationship, implied arranged marriage, smut, angst | bodyguard!jaehyun, princess!oc, 

warnings: fingering, semi-public sex (carriege sex), dirty talk, humiliation (a little bit, no name calling), praise, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), oral sex (f reciving), jealous sex, breeding kink, rough sex, gentle sex, hair pulling (one second), mild choking (same here), overstimulation, multiple orgasms. a lot of smut okay, filled with melancholy and angst. that should be everything. 

summary: Jaehyun knew he wasn’t supposed to fall for the Princess. It was supposed to be just sex and their affair was already dead on the vine given their social rankings. But he lost control and fell down the rabbit hole. Loving her was tiring, soul-draining, but it was also addicting, and he couldn’t stop coming back to her, wanting more and more. But nothing lasts forever, and the only things he had to hold on to were phantoms of a story that seemed like a lucid dream. 

word count:12.646 

A/N: Inspired by the maneskin cover of amandoti, it’s been almost a year and I still can’t get over it so I had to write this piece. I wasn’t expecting it to be this long and full of feelings, I just wanted pwp, but what can I say, I’m terrible at keeping things short and emotionless. Also, I’m not really convinced of how this came out but I couldn’t keep dwelling on it. Just a little reminder that English is NOT my first language so there might be mistakes, I’m sorry. I hope you’ll enjoy it, let me know if you want to, feedback is always appreciated. 

“Amarti m’affatica. Mi svuota dentro, qualcosa che assomiglia a ridere nel pianto. Amarti m’affatica. Mi da malinconia. Che vuoi farci è la vita, è la vita, la mia.”

“You know I can’t stay,” Jaehyun mumbled against her hair. Her face was resting on his bare chest while her hands caressed his soft skin. 

“I hate being alone at night, Jae,” she huffed, shifting on the mattress to get closer to him, if it was possible. 

“I’m in the next room, Scarlett. And we’ll see each other tomorrow,” he reminded her, caressing her back softly. A gentle smile was painted across his face while he looked at her features illuminated by the moon, her big brown eyes staring back at him. 

Honestly, he wanted to stay there, too. Wrapped in the warmth of her body and caressed by the softness of her skin, but he couldn’t. 

“It’s not the same,” she whined and he shook his head, mostly to scroll the thought of actually staying the night out of his mind. He really couldn't. 

But she was right, it wasn’t the same. There was a wall between them, and that wall hid thousands of other things that separated them in life.  

“If your father finds me here, he’s going to kill me,” he replied, standing up with his torso, forcing her to do the same. 

“He never checks my room, Jae,” she complained, her fingers playing with the expensive fabric of the sheets of her bed. The empty space right next to her left by him as soon as he got up made her shiver. She hated being alone. 

“But your maids do, in the morning,” he reminded her, grabbing his clothes from the floor, right where they had thrown them before, in the heat of the moment.  

“But you have to be here before them anyway, you’re my bodyguard.” 

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, “I have to stand by your door, Scarlett, not in your bed.” 

She huffed loudly, letting her body fall without grace against the bed, again, and stared at the decorated ceiling. 

Jaehyun gave her one last look before walking toward the door, “See you tomorrow, your Highness,” he greeted, bowing his head. 

She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn’t see it. “Ugh, don’t call me that.” 

“But that’s what you are,” he reminded her, before closing the door behind him, without waiting for an answer. “That’s the only thing you’ll ever be for me.” He reminded himself. He had to, because he seemed to forget it too often, especially when he was tangled with her in her expensive bedroom. The gold, the silk, the cashmere and the guanaco wool, all things that didn't belong to him, to his rank. 

And then there was his chamber. A simple bed, a closet and a mirror. The bedsheets were of a cheap fabric he couldn’t even remember the name and so was the paint used on the faded green walls. 

Jaehyun let his tired body fall on the bed, not even bothering to pull the covers. It would’ve been morning soon, anyway, and he was going to spend another few hours of his night up. Thinking about her. Dwelling on her. 

Loving her was tiring. 

A strange, tiring addiction, Jaehyun couldn’t let go of. 

Sometimes it felt like a curse, a price he was paying for something he had done in his past life. 

Loving her left him empty. 

Every time that he would sneak out of that room, just like tonight, he felt that a part of him was missing. 

She probably wasn’t even human and was eating his soul day by day, or better, night by night. 

Because their love was meant to be consumed under the curious eyes of the moon and the stars, not under the bright, clear, daylight. No. That was for his job and her status. 

She was a Princess, soon to be a Queen, and he was nothing more than her bodyguard. 

Her whole life was in his hands, yet, he had nothing of her to hold on to. 

Loving her was so strange because the pain would always mix up with laughs and smiles. 

Just like the night they started. It was all a joke, a one-night thing. It was a game that became painful and dangerous with every passing day.

They were the youngest at the court, and they were always together, so it wasn’t surprising they were this close. He was supposed to look after her and be stern and inflexible, but he would always give in. So he would get along with her craziest and dumbest ideas, just being ready to protect her when and if needed. But most of the time, nothing bad would happen, and if something went slightly wrong, she would always laugh at it and make his panic go away. She could relax, a mild scold from her father was everything she could get, but he could be fired, or even worst.

She was good at finding a way out of everything, especially the dinners and balls, for example.

Scarlett hated pretty much any Prince she had met in her life. 

Jaehyun knew it well, he was the only one she could rant to. The only thing she could do in front of her parents was to express disappointment and shrug, telling them they didn't have what she was looking for in a future husband. 

“He’s so fucking snob and bratty and spoiled and full of himself, I hate him, I hate him, I –”

“You hate him,” Jaehyun finished for her, a smirk on his face while he rested against the door, his tone light and playful. 

Scarlett sighed and nodded, throwing her heels on the other side of the room carelessly. 

“I just,” she mumbled, pulling out the chair of her vanity table and sitting on it to take off the jewellery she was wearing for the night. “I just want somebody that is... normal?” she finished, looking at Jaehyun as she turned around, her words hanging like a question in the air, not sure if he understood what she meant with that.

The man nodded, fixing the front of his tailcoat. “There has to be another prince that is like this,” he said, trying to reassure her about her future. 

“Mmph,” she turned her nose up, “the most normal one was far away. I’ll never settle with him, they won’t let me.”

Jaehyun hummed, following her movements with his eyes, while she was walking back and forth around the room puffing and letting out other sounds, signs of frustration. 

“Stop wandering around the room like this.” 

“I just can’t believe that he spent the night talking about him, Jae. How far up your ass do you have to be to do something like this?” 

“Language,” he reminded her. He was always terrified she would slip in public and then he knew her parents would most definitely blame him for the bad influence. 

“Oh please, don’t be like my father,” she lamented, rolling her eyes at the back of her head before her hands reached for the back of her navy blue dress. 

“What are you doing?” Jaehyun asked, mouth open while he covered his eyes to not look at her. 

“Getting out of this hell?” She answered as if it was obvious, pulling the strings of the corset of her dress.  

“Without a warning?” He gulped, voice shaky. 

Scarlett smirked. “Shy, baby?” she teased, letting her corset half done, walking to him, two fingers placed under his chin to bring him to look at her. 

“I’m just respecting you,” he mumbled, his eyes looking at hers through his fingers, his breath getting shorter due to the closeness of their bodies. 

“Your ears are all red,” she pointed out, in genuine surprise, but to him, it felt like a mockery. 

“Shut up,” he muttered through gritted teeth. 

“Are you dating somebody, Jaehyun?” 

“Yeah, Maria, her sixty years of experience make it all feel different,” he joked. “I’m always with you, Scarlett, how can I date somebody?” 

“Sorry,” she whispered, but then a smirk crept on her face. “So you’re free...” 

“Free to do what?" He widened his eyes, "Please, Scarlett...” he warned, tilting his head, silently begging to not come up with another one of her reckless ideas. 

“Oh, tell me you don’t think I’m hot,” she said, her hands on her waist, waiting for an answer. And as much as he wouldn’t have wanted to look, her boobs were practically spilling out of her dress, drawing his attention there. 

He shook his head and looked up at her face, he never looked at her... like that. Sure, she was beautiful, with her long curly brown hair, her narrow eyes, her plump dark lips, her narrow jawline and her brown skin. But he was her bodyguard, they were like best friends, he couldn’t look at her in any other way... or could he? 

“I-“ he stuttered, “you’re beautiful, Scarlett,” he breathed out. It was the most sincere and less embarrassing thing he could say at the moment.  

“Why don’t you look at me, Jae?” She pulled him toward her by the collar of his blouse, their gazes finally meeting. 

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but it’s a no,” he stated, trying to sound as convinced as possible, and failing. His voice was shaking and his face was still burning red. 

She raised an eyebrow. “No like the time you told me not to run in the sunflowers field? Or not to go down in the basement of the castle? Or that there was no way we would’ve visited the street market of Kelnawoods? 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun murmured. She knew he couldn’t say no. He never did. Not even when he knew it was possibly dangerous, so why would he now? 

“No, it’s different, we can’t,” he still tried to protest.  

“I know you want me,” she whined, tugging the collar to let their lips brush against each other. His first instinct was to lean in and deepen the kiss but he hesitated. 

He closed his eyes and his hands closed the door behind them. A smile of victory plastered on her face. 

“Just one night, Scarlett. Just tonight.” 

She hummed before pulling him into a kiss. 

But that wasn’t just a night, it turned into several, and then almost into every single night. 

Loving her gave him melancholy because he loved every moment spent together so damn much he couldn’t believe it was all – fake. 

He knew he was just a hobby for her, something she needed to fill her cravings, her needs. She didn’t love him, and never will, yet, he was so deep under her he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to come back to the surface. 

But he had come to accept it, that was the life he was destined to. 

“Amami ancora, fallo dolcemente. Un anno. Un mese. Un’ora. Perdutamente.”

“Fuck, Jaehyun,” she moaned, her hands were desperately trying to hold on to something, anything, and the closest thing was the headboard of the passenger seat behind her in the carriage. 

“Shh, be quiet,” he whispered, kissing her cheek while his fingers were moving swiftly inside and out of her dripping cunt. 

She threw her head back, lips trapped between her teeth and chest panting heavily. 

“Fuck, you look so beautiful like this,” Jaehyun said, moving a strand of her hair behind her ear so he could fully take her in. 

She hummed mindlessly, moving her hips against his hand, trying to get more friction. 

“So desperate, aren’t you?” He mocked her, his thumb starting to move in circles on her clit, finally giving her what she wanted. “Look at you, the Princess,” he scoffed. “You should be inside the castle looking for a king and here you are, dripping wet while you let your bodyguard take you like a fucking commoner.” 

“Jaehyun,” she screamed, closing her legs around his arm, whimpering beneath him. Shame took over her, that was exactly what made her lose her mind, how wrong all of this felt, how dirty and secretive it was. Nobody inside the castle could even imagine that about the innocent, well-spoken, Princess. Nobody knew that side of her, no one except him.

“Oh no, sweetie,” he sang, his big hand palming her thighs, forcing them down against the seat, “your pretty legs stay open for me.”

“It feels so good,” she whined, her hands reaching for his nape to pull him into a messy heated kiss. “You’re so good.” 

Jaehyun’s pride reached the sky and for a moment he couldn’t care that that was the only thing she liked him for. It was something, it was better than nothing. No matter how empty it would’ve left him after. He was making her feel good. 

“Yeah, you like it when I do this?” He asked, curling his fingers inside of her, just right to hit the spot that made her shake the most. 

A louder squeak left her lips but he was fast at placing his other hand on her mouth. 

“Ush, baby, you don’t want your father to find you like this, uh? Half naked in the back of his cab, staining his seats, coming undone in the arms of a commoner. That’s filthy and so low of you...” 

Muffled moans were spilling from her lips as he could feel her walls clench around him and her clit throb, and one of her hands grabbed her covered boobs hardly, trying to get even more stimulation. 

He smirked, accelerating the speed of his fingers, and leaning closer to whisper in her ear, “He probably sent somebody to look for you, and they’re all here, in the parking lot, looking for you.” 

“Jae, please...” she whimpered, the dirty talks were getting at her brain. She loved it more than she liked to admit. And the mix of his deep voice and the fast and precise movement of his hand made the knot on her stomach get incredibly tight. 

“Please, what, angel?” 

“I want to come,” she whined. “Jaehyun, please, let me come.” 

“Do it, love, I never prohibited it,” he encouraged.  

And with a few more skilled movements of his fingers and some praises coming from his mouth she came undone, her orgasm exploding, leaving her a panting mess. 

“I want you inside,” she demanded before she could even completely come down from her high. Her hands worked to unzip his pants but he pulled away. 

He wanted to take her so badly, but he was really sure that his father was already suspicious or anyway, had panicked and was looking for her. 

“Or we could wait till we get to our room, it’s the same,” he reasoned. 

“I’m not making you walk back to the ball with a boner between your legs,” she stated, grabbing his already hard dick starting to work him up and down. “And I can’t wait longer.”

“Damn, you’re so greedy, are you sure you’re not the spoiled one you love to talk shit so much?” 

“If it’s you, I’m always spoiled. You spoil me,” she smiled, pushing her hips high to make their private parts touch. 

“Fuck it,” he said, adjusting his body on top of her, trapping her frame beneath him, positioning his tip at her hole, “Let’s make it quick, I’m taking my sweet time with you tonight.” 

And with a swift movement, he was inside of her, his thick cock stretching her walls just right. 

A moan escaped her lips but was drowned by Jaehyun’s lips that captured her in a passionate kiss. 

“I told you to be quiet, baby,” he muttered against her lips.  

“I can’t, fuck,” she whimpered, intertwining her hands in his hair, tugging at it. “You fill me up so good.” 

Those words made Jaehyun’s head spin. She had so much control over him, it was insane, and unhealthy, too, but he didn’t want to think about it. It felt good, and that was all that mattered. 

“Lady Scarlett, your Highness.”

“Fuck, they are here,” Jaehyun stilled in his movements looking at her who seemed unfazed by what was going on when he heard the voice call for her. It was far, but close enough to make his heart beat louder. 

“Then you better be quick and make me come,” she demanded, driving her hips up. 

“You want me to keep going? They’ll come here in any minutes...” 

“I want to walk between those snobby Princes with your cum dripping down my legs so they’ll know I’ll never be theirs but I’m only yours,” she moaned in his ears, hands pulling his hair just enough to make him moan. 

Jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat and his dick throbbed inside of her. It was just dirty talks, just something to get him going because she knew how deep into her he was, but he couldn’t care. She was his, she wanted him, not those rich Princes, and their power or money. She was pressed against the seat of the carriage by his body, his cock buried deep inside of her, and his lips connected to hers. Not them. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, picking up from where he stopped, his thrusts faster than before, his fingers moving circles on her clit to make her clench around him to bring her close to the climax sooner. 

“Yes, yes, that’s it, good boy,” she praised, her fingers wrapped around his nape, her mouth biting his neck, and her hand pulling him closer. And that was all he needed to give one last precise push that sent both over the edge.

When the steps got closer panic took over them again. 

“We have to get out of here,” Jaehyun said, hurried. 

“I don’t think I can walk, imagine run,” she admitted, shily, feeling her skin burn and he legs weak.  

“I’ll carry you,” he said, zipping his pants and fixing her panties back in place. He opened the door and gestured her to follow him. She trembled on her legs and immediately grabbed his hand to find balance. 

“There,” he gestured to the right after seeing there was nobody on that side. “Come here,” 

He lifted her body and then started walking with a fast speed away from them. 

When they were far enough, he started running toward the castle at the entrance. 

“You are in so many troubles, sweetheart,” Jaehyun laughed, straightening her dress and trying to fix her hairstyle so that it wouldn’t look so much like she just came twice cramped in the back seat of a carriage. 

“Can you lie and say that I wasn’t feeling well and we walked a little in the park?” She pleaded and Jaehyun nodded, not like he had a choice. What could he say? Oh no, sorry, your Majesty, your daughter disappeared because I was fucking her in the backseat of Your carriage. No way. 

“Scarlett!” Her father shouted, “where have you been?” 

“Oh, your Majesty," Jaehyun bowed, right foot behind the left, "Her Highness, Princess Scarlett wasn’t feeling well, so I accompanied her outside for a small walk so she could get fresh hair,” Jaehyun explained before she could say anything. 

Her father, the King, raised an eyebrow as he sceptically looked at them. 

“She was with me, your Majesty, there’s no need to worry. I’ll protect her with my life,” Jaehyun reassured her father and the man smiled, almost... softly. 

“Oh, I know, I trust you, Mr Jeong, but I’d still like to be informed, alright?” 

“Yes, father, I’m sorry. It was my fault, but I was having difficulty to breathe and I just wanted to get out of here,” she intervened, explaining that it had been her fault. Which was true, she pulled him out of there, she started to make out with him in the middle of the corridors, unbothered by possible hungry eyes. 

“The Prince Donghyuck was looking for you, Scarlett.” 

She nodded and started walking toward him followed by Jaehyun but the King stopped him. 

“You can stay here,” he said, but it was a command. 

Jaehyun furrowed, “What if somebody tries to attack her?” 

“She’s with the Prince, she’ll be fine.” 

Jaehyun wanted to scoff straight at his face. He was a Prince, not a bodyguard, he could never protect her. He couldn't even look after himself. But he simply pushed his thoughts back and nodded in agreement.

But she didn’t feel fine at all, she could immediately feel that Jaehyun wasn’t there and turned around to see his sad eyes looking at her. 

What was he doing there? She started walking back to him but she felt a pair of hands wrap around her wrist and pull her around, just to come face to face with Donghyuck. 

“I thought you were avoiding me,” he said, smiling. 

She forced a smile on her face and shook her head but she just wanted to tell him that yes, she was avoiding him; him and everybody in the room. 

Her eyes wandered behind her to search for Jaehyun’s but he was nowhere to be found and she felt her heart drop to her feet. A lump formed in her throat and an unknown kind of cold enveloped her. 

“May I have this dance?” The Prince brought her back to hearth and she nodded mindlessly, she just wanted this to be over. 

But little did she know that Jaehyun never left her. His eyes were looking at her and only her, no matter how much it hurt to see her in the arms of somebody else, so much that not even the thoughts of her beneath him just a few minutes before was enough to soothe the pain. He still had his duty, he was her bodyguard, he had to protect her. At all costs. 

The ballroom of the castle of the Lee family was big, and the mirrors that adorned the walls didn’t help at all. It was all confusing, and shiny, getting lost and camouflaging there was easy. And he had to be on alert. 

He couldn’t see Prince Donghyuck’s parents and he was scared they were off with Scarlett’s to make some kind of pact she wasn’t aware of. 

Her parents always told her she would’ve been able to choose her partner of life, but Scarlett didn’t seem prone to pick anybody anytime soon. And he knew this was getting on the King and Queen’s nerves. 

“Jaehyun.” The man jumped when he heard her voice coming from behind him suddenly. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, immediately checking for any signs of possible injuries on her body.

“I can’t stand him anymore, I want to go to our room,” she was almost begging, hands clasped together and a pout on her face. 

“Baby, I know,” he said, looking around to see if anybody was eave’s dropping their conversation. “Play your part just for a little bit more, I’ll reward you tonight,” he promised. 

She let out a huff but then nodded. “Come with me, at least?” She asked. 

“I can’t, the King wants you two to be together, alone.” 

Her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. Her father wanted that? So that was it... the end of her freedom. The end of everything. 

“Where is he? I want to talk to him.” 

“Scarlett, please, no.” Jaehyun stopped her. “He’ll get more suspicious, just play your part. Maybe it’s just because it was rude to leave without saying a word,” Jaehyun reassured her, but she couldn’t be so sure that was the only reason. 

Her father made her bath into goat milk and called the best hairdresser to take care of her hair, using expensive oils from lands she didn’t even ever heard of, and the dress the sailor designed just for her and just for that night with expensive fabrics of faraway lands. 

It was all coming to pieces, she wasn’t going to have a choice in all of that. 

“Are you feeling alright, your Highness?” 

She stiffed at the name he gave her. She hated when he called her that, it reminded her of their positions, it reminded her that he could never call her love, angel or darling under the sunlight. 

She shook the tears off of her face and plastered a fake smile before nodding and turning around, looking for the Prince again. 

And as she walked around the room, blinded by the lights, she realized that she didn’t want it. She didn’t want any of this.  

“Amarti mi consola, le notti bianche. E’ qualcosa che riempie vecchie storie fumanti. Amarti mi consola, mi da allegria. Che vuoi farci è la vita, ma la vita è la mia.”

“You’re shaking,” Jaehyun pointed out as soon as they closed the door of their shared bedroom behind. 

“I’m fine,” she breathed out, clearly shaking, while kicking her shoes to the side and collapsing on the floor. Her hands covering her face while sobs started to fill the room. 

“Scarlett,” Jaehyun said, worried as he hurried toward her, kneeling behind her. “What’s wrong?” 

Everything. Every single thing was wrong, but she couldn’t say it out loud. 

“You know what?” she said, she didn’t want to hide it anymore. Was it so wrong that she fell for the wrong person? Yes, but by now she was deep into it. “I don’t want this, Jaehyun, here’s what’s wrong.” 

Jaehyun looked at her with a confused expression and furrowed. “I can leave, I’m sure there’s a ro-“ 

“No, I don’t want them!” She half screamed. “I don’t want the balls, the cars, the feasts, the wellness if that means I don’t get to have you.” 

Jaehyun stilled for a second, a chuckle escaping his lips. “What kind of roles are we playing, Scarlett. I don’t like this,” he warned her with a serious tone. 

“I’m not playing, Jaehyun,” she replied. “I love you.” Her wet eyes met his. 

“No, you don’t,” he retorted, voice shaking, lips and hands trembling. “You can’t love somebody like me, it’s wrong,” he said, taking a step back. It was crazy how much he had longed for this moment, for how long he had dreamt for those words to slip out of her mouth, just to be terrified of it when it happened. 

But that was supposed to be just a fantasy. She was out of his league. The Scarlett that loved him was another one, another commoner, a basic girl from the city that would sew for a living. Not the Princess. 

“But I do, and you don’t have to love me back, but I still don’t want to lose you, Jae,” she cried. “You’re the best thing life gifted me, I can’t lose you.”

“You have much more than me, don’t be silly,” he refuted sternly. 

“I don’t have a thing,” she said, throwing her hands up.  

He snickered, “What about the money and the excess?” 

“I told you I don’t want it, I want you,” she confessed again, tears still streaming down her face while she looked up at him. 

Jaehyun took a deep breath. “But you can’t have me,” he mumbled, more likely to remind himself of that. 

She loved him, she fucking loved him. He hadn’t been just sex, for fuck sake, but they still couldn’t be together. 

“I can’t have you,” she repeated, nodding slowly, finally taking in the reality of things. 

Their illicit affair was coming to an end, it could’ve been a year, a month, or just one hour, but it was coming to an end. 

They would’ve stopped belonging to each other in any way. She was going to marry a Prince and he was going to just be her –their bodyguard. 

“No, you’re wrong,” he snapped, hands closing around her shoulders. “You can have me, Scarlett. You can have every little single piece of me tonight.” 

He pulled her close in a kiss, it was slow, gentle, almost... full of unspoken apologies. It could’ve been their last night, it probably would’ve been their last night, and they wanted to take it slow, to do it softly. 

Not like their fast hook-ups at night. 

It didn’t matter that that night was the biggest lie of all their nights. 

It was cold comfort.

He let his hand travel down on her body, delicately untying her dress before letting it fall on the ground, reviling her uncovered boobs and her laced panties that were ruined by his cum that was still dripping out of her. 

“How are you going to explain this when they come clean you up?” 

“I won’t let them, the bath is all mine, nobody allowed,” she smiled against his lips. 

“Good, or else it would’ve been difficult.” A chuckle came out of his mouth.

“Take this off,” she said pushing his jacket off of him, and then his blouse. 

“Where’s your gun?” She asked, touching his left side, panicking when she felt nothing. 

“Here, love,” he showed her pulling the weapon out, “the gun on the right, the dagger on the left,” he whispered against her lips. “You should know it by now,” Jaehyun teased, pulling her lower lip in a playful bite. 

“You make me forget everything every time you love me,” she replied, pulling him against her, the other hand busy pushing his pants down. 

He lifted her and landed her down on the bed gently. 

He wanted to take more time, much more, to just sit by her side and take in her features while the moonlight showered her in silver rays, but he couldn’t. He had just one night to give her everything he had to offer and couldn’t waste it. 

He started trailing kisses down the hollow of her chest, to her belly and then there, where she needed him the most. 

A moan rolled out of her lips as soon as his mouth closed around her clit in a small kiss. Not enough to really bring her pleasure but enough to make her shiver. 

She let her head roll behind and waited for him to do what he was the best at. 

Jaehyun started to lick her wet folds and then moved his attention to her clit, his tongue moving swiftly, sucking and leaving kitten licks. 

“Fuck,” she moaned ad then intertwined her fingers in his hair, pushing him closer. 

A louder moan left her lips when his finger entered her wet folds moving in and out slowly at first. 

“Please, faster,” she whined, bucking her hips up to meet his face. 

“You want more?” He asked, lifting his head up for a brief moment to look at her, his eyes filled with lust seeing her already fucked up state. 

“Yes, please,” she begged, squirming under him. 

He smiled and then lowered his head again. His tongue started to move quicker and he entered one more finger inside of her. 

He started to pump fast inside of her, picking up a speed that, united with the precise movement of his tongue on her clit, was just right to make her toes curl and stomach tighten. 

“I’m close,” she whimpered, her walls clenching around him, and her hips moving beneath him. He pushed her down the mattress, a hand on her tummy while his hungry eyes looked up at hers. And that was enough to send her over the edge.

Jaehyun pulled out once she finished riding her orgasm and sucked his fingers. 

“You taste so good,” he hummed, fingers still in mouth, and then leaned down to kiss her. 

“I want you inside,” she pleaded, voice hoarse and skin sweaty. 

“I know,” he teased. “You’re so wet for me, aren’t you?” He asked, his fingers smearing the cum dripping out of her around her cunt, mixing up her juices and his spit. 

“Yes,” she nodded frenetically, writhing underneath him. 

“Just for me and nobody else, right?” He asked again. He wanted to hear her say it, again and again. He wanted to hear her say that no Prince could come close to him, that even if she could never be his, her heart was beating just for him. He wanted to be sure that they belonged together, even if they couldn’t be. 

“Just for you, Jaehyun, just for you,” she reassured him, her big eyes looking into his with all the sincerity in the world. 

He let his hands run over the back of her thighs and pulled her legs open, his dripping cock pressing against her pussy as he moved his hips slowly to tease her clit. He leaned down, his teeth pulling her lower lip while her mouth hung open. 

“I want you, Jae. I want you to fill me up like only you can.” 

He let out a deep moan and pushed his length into her warm cunt, slowly, and deeply. Stilling for some seconds when his base reached her body to stare at her. 

“You’re so enchanting,” Jaehyun whispered in awe. “So, so fucking precious,” he mumbled, his lips kissing her collarbone while he started to move at a slow speed with deep and intense thrusts, each one of them knocking the air out of her lungs. 

“Oh,” Scarlett moaned, her hands grabbed his forearm, leaving marks on his white skin. 

“Want me to go faster?”

She shook her head, “No,” she said. On any other occasion she would’ve cried yes, but tonight she wanted to save it. She wanted to savour every single moment. She wanted to feel the veins of his cock rub against her tight walls, his tip reach her deepest part and his balls slap against her skin. She wanted her body to print down in her memory how much he could stretch her and how good he could fill her. She wanted to remember how his fingers could press against her waist and squeeze just enough to form half-moons on her skin. Or how his hair would fall on his forehead and hide his deep brown eyes. She wanted to remember his strong scent surround her and make her feel dizzy and safe. She wanted to remember; because as much as she tried to push the thought out of her mind, she knew this spell wasn’t going to last longer. 

“Oh, you want it nice and deep?” Jaehyun cooed, his thumb brushing against her lips, and then caressing her cheek. 

She shut her eyes tight when he hit her hard and deep, his thrusts now slower but more intense. 

“Yeah, please.” 

“Beg for it,” he commanded, his voice stern. 

Her eyes opened, and she felt her insides curl. “Jaehyun please, fuck me. I want to feel you, every inch of you,” 

A smile plastered on his face and he picked up his pace, going a little bit faster but always making sure to fully go inside of her and then move out. He let his head fall against hers and trapped her lower lip in a bite that turned into a kiss to drown her high pitched moans. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” he groaned, his eyes falling shut for a few seconds just to open them again and meet her face twisted in pleasure, her eyebrows knitted, her full lips open and sweat pearling her skin that was glowing under the moonlight. 

“More, Jaehyun, please,” she moaned, her hands gripping his hair at the base of his neck to keep his body close. 

His pace started to speed up and the room filled with their moans and the sound of their skins slapping together. 

“It’s never enough for you, isn’t it?” He teased, “So fucking greedy, desperate for more,” he growled, his orgasm coming closer. “What would the Prince say about you if he knew you let your bodyguard rail you every night, uh? And what about your father, would he be proud?” 

She let out a whimper and sneaked a hand between their bodies to reach her clit. 

“Not answering, love?” He taunted, teeth clenched together. “Am I fucking your brain out?” 

“Fuck,” she screamed when he pushed his body up and pulled her ankles over his shoulders, the new angle hitting deeper and harder. 

“Is it too much for you, your Highness?” He mocked, his voice hoarse and deep. 

She shook her head, it definitely was too much but it felt way too good to fight back the feeling. 

“Answer me when I talk to you,” he commanded, cupping her chin, forcing her to look at him. 

“I –I,” she stammered, “I can take it,” she moaned. 

“Good girl,” he praised, letting go of her chin, his hand reaching down to her neck, resting there without applying any pressure. 

“Jaehyun, please,” she begged, a tear rolling down her eyes, the orgasm was there, ready to explode and she couldn’t take it anymore. But she wanted to come with him, to feel him completely. 

“What, love? Tell me what you want.” 

“I want you to come with me,” she implored, “come inside of me.”

He leaned down, parting her legs more, reaching deeper, and a broken high moan left her lips. 

“Want me to fill you up?” He whispered against her ear, his thumb caressing her neck, “Want me to give you my babies?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, voice barely coming out. 

“Want to walk around carrying my children, don’t you? You want to belong to me forever, right?” He asked, his voice coming out hardly, too. And his hips were struggling at keeping up the pace. 

She nodded, more tears coming out of her eyes, for the pleasure and also because she really wanted to have his baby, she wanted to have a future with him, to hear the footsteps of their babies running around the palace, but that wasn’t possible and she could only dream. 

“Then let’s do it, fuck,” he gasped, “Come with me, love,” he encouraged. Forehead pressed against each other, her legs tightly wrapped around his waist, and their lips kissing hungrily to suppress the lewd sounds coming out of their throats as they both came undone in each other arms. 

They stayed still for some minutes, still in the same position, trying to regain composure, their chests colliding with every breath. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jaehyun whispered, his hand pushing the strands of hair out of her face. “No wonder so many Princes are fighting for you,” he sighed, bitterness in his voice. 

“Do they?” she asked, eyebrow raised, her hands caressing his cheeks. 

He nodded, and then pulled out of her, some cum dripping onto the sheets beneath them. He probably knew more than her about the royals that asked, no, begged, for her hand. And his father was more than terrified at the thought she couldn’t marry all of them, fearing possible acts of revenge from other kingdoms. 

He walked toward the bathroom and then came back to pick her up, the water in the bathtub still running to fill it. 

“I don’t want to marry them,” she pouted, taking his hand to get up and walk to the bathroom. Her legs were wobbly and hurt a little, so she leaned against him for support. 

“I know,” Jaehyun replied, entering the tub and letting her sit in front of him, her head resting against his shoulder. “But you’ll have to, someday, eventually,” he reminded her, passing the wet sponge on her body delicately. 

“What if I want to be a reigning Queen with nobody by my side,” she asked, her head turning slightly around to face him. 

Jaehyun sighed. She never wanted to get married in the first place, he knew that, she always told him, and since they started this it got even worst. But it was a duty, she had to, she was the Princess, soon to be Queen. 

“You know you have to give heirs to the throne, it’s for your Kingdom,” he reminded. He agreed with her, he was the first one that didn’t want any of that to happen, but those were the rules, and they couldn’t do anything to change them. 

“Why can’t they be yours then? I can assure heirs with you, too.” 

“With royal blood running in their blood, Scarlett,” he replied, “I’m just a commoner, nothing more. The bodyguard uniform is the most expensive and valuable clothes I have ever wore in my life. I’ve got nothing, I come from a family of farmers.” 

“But you are the most valuable man I ever crossed paths with,” she lamented, turning around to face him, water splashing on the ground as she positioned her legs at his side. “These Princes might have been raised in gold and silk but they are terrible, what could they teach to my children?” 

“How to rule a Kingdom, Scarlett. How to belong here, something I could never do,” Jaehyun answered, caressing her face. 

She looked down, feeling tears at the corners of her eyes. Everything was wrong. And the thought of the life she had ahead made her heart ache. She just wanted to be happy while leading her kingdom; she could do that, who she had at her side wasn’t relevant, but apparently, it was. 

“You’ll always stay by my side, right, Jae?” She asked, finding the courage to look up at him. 

He nodded, “I’m not going anywhere, Scarlett. I’ll always protect you and love you. You’re the only thing I have left. I could never lose you.” 

She smiled, lacing their fingers together and then leaned in to kiss him.  

“Amami ancora, fallo dolcemente. Un anno. Un mese. Un’ora. Perdutamente. Amami ancora, fallo dolcemente. Solo per un’ora, ma che sia per sempre.”

“Why are you looking out of the window?” Scarlett asked, coming behind Jaehyun, trying to see what he was looking at.

Jaehyun shrugged, “Just checking around, watching out for any suspicious movement.”

It was the last Sunday of the month, and as a tradition, the royal family invited other royals over for a dinner that was way too exaggerated, almost whimsy, for her liking. She always despised them, but now, knowing that the Lee’s were going to be there too, made her skin itch. Their parents have been quiet, not bringing the Prince up too much, but Scarlett couldn’t find peace.

“Can you help me with the dress?” She asked, giving him her back.

“Sure,” Jaehyun answered, grabbing the strings of her ballgown white dress and pulling them. “Where are your helpers, tough?”

“Sent them away,” she answered nonchalantly.

“Why?”

“I didn’t fire them,” she clarified, turning around, arms resting on his shoulders, “I just want to be with you, nobody else around.”

“We stick together quite a lot,” he joked, pecking her lips. Jaehyun knew what she really meant, but he didn’t want to think about it. There was something nerve breaking about being always together and yet, never being able to be with each other.

It was agony.

“Yeah, always with somebody at our neck,” she leaned toward the table opening different drawers, looking for something.

“By the way,” she said, picking up her grandmother’s necklace and wearing it, “My mother announced that we’ll go to the summer residence, she proposed I’d give you a break and she’ll find me another bodyguard, but, I want to go with you.”

“I can tell her I don’t need a vacation, and you can tell her that you feel safer with me,” he hummed, walking toward her.

She raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure? Don’t you have a family?”

“I don’t, Scarlett,” he said, voice and head low. He had lost his loved ones a long time ago, that was why this job felt godsent, he had no time to think about his life and he could protect somebody he loved.

The Princess beamed a sweet smile at him before facing the mirror to fix the last details.

“Scarlett,” he called, making her turn around, “did they bring him up?”

She shook her head, “No, but I don’t really know how to feel.”

“You don’t have to feel,” he said, hugging her, “maybe they’ll let you pick, like they promised.”

“They’ll never let me pick... you,” she whined, placing her hands on top of his, that were resting on her stomach.

“I know, but you could pick somebody you actually get along with.”

“Why is it so easy to give up on me for you?” she asked, letting out a squeak.

Jaehyun sighed, he hated that she thought that he didn't want to fight for her and their love. If it could lead somewhere, he would've moved mountains for her.

“It’s not easy, but sometimes if you really love somebody, you have to let them go, Scarlett,” he murmured, moving a strand of her hair, “I’d fight for you against the world, but I can only do it behind closed doors, behaving following the duties of my job. I can’t make you lose your status and your position,” he leaned in, “I’m not worth it.”

She was about to answer him that yes, he was worth it, when a knock on the door made them jump three feet away from each other.

She cleared her throat and then spoke up, “Yes?”

“Your Highness, your Father the King is waiting for you in the hall to come to welcome the guests,” a maid spoke.

“I’m coming,” she announced, the long train of the dress following her against the floor, as she walked toward the door. She turned around before turning the knob and whispered, “One last kiss?”

Jaehyun smiled and reached her lips, catching them in a gentle kiss. Once they pulled away he surpassed her, “You know I have to go first, there could be anybody behind the door,” he winked, opening the door ajar, to make sure it was safe, and then stepped to the side.

As soon as they stepped out of the door, the air around them shifted. They were once again going to play a role that was getting harder and harder to fit in.

The dinner went smoothly, aside from a few things, like her father insisting she should stick with Donghyuck, trying to push Jaehyun away. Or that they had to dance together and talk much more. All without her bodyguard around. Luckily, they came to a solution easily, when Jaehyun suggested he would stay a few steps behind them to not interrupt them. Scarlett hated that anyway, but it was better than completely being alone with the Prince.  

Things went south swiftly, when, after dinner and the ball, the King and Queen pulled her into a room, finding the other royal family already there,  ordering Jaehyun to wait outside to guard the meeting room.

It had been ten minutes since they were inside and Jaehyun could feel his heart stuck in his throat, he knew what was going to happen. Her father had already told him when he called for him the morning to ask if it was alright for him to work abroad. But he didn’t find the courage to tell her, and honestly, he couldn’t. That was his job, not something that regarded her, he had limits he couldn’t cross, and he already did that too much.

Then he heard things slam inside the room and wanted to burst in but he wasn't sure, the King ordered him to stay outside.

“Don’t touch me!” But when he heard Scarlett scream that, he opened the door, meeting a mess of chairs on the ground and Scarlett holding his dagger in her hand, pointing it against Donghyuck that was walking toward her, probably trying to calm her down.

The King was sternly looking at him but he couldn’t mind, he had to protect her, and he was doing his job.

“Scarlett,” Jaehyun called, his voice calm and low, hands raised, to show that he wasn’t trying to hurt her.

She turned around, dagger still pointed at the young Prince.

At the view of her wet face streamed with tears and trembling lips, his heart broke. She knew.

“Give me the dagger,” he asked calmly, “I’m here, nobody will touch you against your will,” he reassured her.

She walked toward him, her whole body was shaking, but she gave him the dagger, just when she was close enough to him to make sure the Prince couldn’t reach her.

“We are sorry,” the Queen apologized to the Lee family. “She tends to be a little bit overwhelmed after big events, that’s why she reacted like this.”

“No,” she screamed, “I’m not marrying him, I don’t want to, and I don’t want him.” She pushed Jaehyun, running out of the room.

The King screamed her name, standing up from the chair trying to go after her but Jaehyun stopped him.

“Your Majesty, if you let me, I’d like to take care of this,” he proposed, bowing his head. “She’s just scared of this change. It’s a big step for her, and she’ll be moving away from here, I’m sure she’ll calm down soon if she knew she won’t be alone.”

The King nodded, absolutely not convinced. But then waved him to go after her, he had to deal with the Lee family, not her and her tantrums.

Jaehyun bowed to the other royal family, “She’s amazing, it’s just hard for her. She’s still very young,” and he stepped out of the room, knowing exactly where she was hiding.

“Scarlett,” he called, sneaking his head into the dismissed ballroom in the basements, “I know you’re here.” That was one of her favourite places, simply because nobody came there, it was underground and disused. The only people crossing the doors were the maidservants, that kept the place from rotting completely.

She didn’t answer, but her loud sobs led him to her. She was sitting on the ground, back resting against a roman column, one hand cupping her mouth, while she cried her eyes out.

“I’m not going back there,” she let him know, not even looking at him.

“I don’t want you to go back,” he reassured, kneeling in front of her, the buttons and badges on his uniform coming in her range of view.

“Hey,” he said, raising her head with his fingers.

“You knew it,” she shouted, pulling away from him, “You knew it and you didn’t tell me,” she cried louder.

“I couldn’t tell you, Scarlett, you know it. I’m just your bodyguard, your father called me to ask me if I could follow you or if he had to find somebody else.” Jaehyun sighed, she really couldn’t get in her mind how different their ranks were, how prohibited and wrong their little affair was.

She huffed, throwing her head back, “Now you’re just my bodyguard. You fuck me every single night and now you're just my bodyguard.”

“Lower your voice, please,” Jaehyun mumbled through gritted teeth, “And you know what I'm referring to. Your father doesn't know, he's already suspicious like this, what excuse would you find if you barged into his room and told him I told you that they were thinking of getting you married?"

“Of course,” she laughed, "I would go to him and complain, right? It didn't even cross your mind to tell me and then, I don’t know, but fuck,” she screamed, her hands tangling in her hair, getting stuck between her curls and the pins they put inside to make them stay still.

“I know you, you would've reacted badly and not even divine forces would've stopped you from talking to your father and make a scene.”

“No, we could've found a solution together, we, we,” she stuttered, looking at him, deep down knowing that there wasn’t a solution to all of that. 

“I already have a solution, is the only road we can take,” he said.

“And?”

“I’m staying, Scarlett, I already told you,” he reassured, looking at her softly.

“I don’t want you to stay,” she said, sternly and his smile faded immediately, his heart cracking in his chest.

“What?”

“I don’t want to have you around if I can’t have you,” she affirmed, wiping the tears from her face.

“I thought you said you wanted –”

“It doesn’t matter,” she stopped him, standing up from the floor, looking down at him. “I can’t live with the pain, Jaehyun. You have no idea how painful it is to hear you call me formal names most of the time, or having your hands so close to mine and not being able to intertwine them with mine,” she screamed, her lungs burning, her chest aching so bad she had to lean back against the column.

Jaehyun furrowed his brows, “I know, Scarlett. I feel the same.” He raised the tone of his voice. 

“Yes, but you won’t marry somebody, you won’t be forced into something you don’t want with somebody you don’t like,” she sobbed, her glossy eyes looking into his, filled with sadness, and something else she couldn’t get. Probably he felt betrayed, and she couldn’t blame him for feeling like that. 

Jaehyun nodded, lowering his gaze to his shoes, he wasn’t sure he could bear that sight any longer. He wanted to fight back, to convince her to change her mind, but he knew it was pointless, also, it was probably better off this way.

“Are you going to talk to your father?” He asked, his eyes wandering around the big empty room to avoid hers. 

“Yeah, I will,” she said, voice shaky, as she stared at the tense features on his face. She didn’t like that sight; when his face turned colder and there were no more traces of the sweet, gentle and caring Jaehyun. 

“Fine, then let’s go to your room, it’s not safe here,” he said, walking toward the door, but when she didn’t follow he turned around again.

“Your Highness, please,” he called, his tone was formal again, almost as if nothing happened and Scarlett could feel her heart tighten in her chest from the pain. His voice, his tone, his words, all sounded like the first months he started working for her. When nothing intimate connected them and there was just an awkward tension. She was now more than sure she couldn’t take a whole life like this.

“You need a bath and good hours of sleep, your Highness.” Jaehyun was now in front of her again, his figure tall and proud, perfectly fitting in his role. No hand reaching out for her, no smile sweetening his features, no sweet pet names to get her attention. 

“Don’t,” she mumbled, “Don’t call me that,”

“That’s how I am supposed to address you, Princess,”

She looked at him, “I don’t like it,”

“It won’t last much, don’t worry,” he reminded her decision.

She shook her head, the coldness of his voice hurt her. “Do you hate me?”

“No, I could never,” his tone softened a bit, but formalism was still all over it.

“I have to, Jaehyun,” she said, not convinced. “It’s going to hurt much more if we keep going.”

He nodded, pressing his lips in a thin line. He didn’t agree, having her around was better than nothing, at least he could see her every day, but she was right. She was the one that had to spend her life with somebody else, not him. Maybe if she got away from him, she could start liking and then loving the Prince.

“I know. I’m not mad at you,” he repeated. “But we have to go,” he added, taking a step aside, pointing toward the door for her.

She sniffled, rubbing her dress to fix the creases and they both walked out of the door, silence between them.

“I hope you know you put shame on your family name with the act of before,” her father’s stern voice ringed in her ears as soon as they reached the front of her chamber.

On another occasion, she would’ve fought back, but she had no strength, so she simply nodded and said, “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up tomorrow, I’ll personally reach out for the Prince and his parents.”

The father seemed surprised, but didn’t say a thing, watching her enter the door, waving good night.

“How can you be the only one that can talk sense into her?”

Jaehyun smiled politely, “She just needs time, it was a little bit unexpected, that’s why she reacted like this,”

“I hope she’ll calm down after the marriage, she’s a handful,” the King complained.

“She just wants to be heard,” he said, before thinking, “I’m sure the Prince will do it, they’ll get along, eventually,” he added, successfully dismissing the attack he made before.  

The King nodded.

“Love at first sight doesn’t exist, right? So they just need time.” Jaehyun hoped so, he just wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

“Yeah, they will,” the King answered, and then turned around. “Uh, Jaehyun?” He called and the man nodded. “Can you check up on her for the night? I don’t want her to do something stupid.”

“I will, your Majesty.”

When the King disappeared in the corridors of the castle he knocked on the door, waiting for her to let him in. But when no answer came from the room he opened the door.

A sight of relief left his lips when he saw her sitting on the windowsill, putting her curls in a loose braid, her white nightgown already on.

“You can go to sleep, nobody will try to kill me during the night,” she stated, staring out of the window.

“King’s order, I have to stay here with you,” he answered, standing next to the door.

She nodded and then rested her head on her knees. The old city underneath was calling for her. The streets were shining with lampost lights, and people were running to head back home after a night out. She wanted to be one of them, she wanted to have friends she could trust, she wanted to smell the scents in the open-air market brought from far lands, she wanted a cosy home to come back to every afternoon. But she was stuck there, and soon she would have to leave her city and live in a castle that felt even less like home.

“Your Highness, you have an official meeting early in the morning, I advise you to go to sleep,” Jaehyun suggested when ten minutes passed and she was still awake at the window.

She huffed and walked toward him with big steps.

“Stop calling me that,” she ordered, her lips close to his.

“I won’t stop, the sooner we’ll drift from each other, the better,” he said, looking down at her.

“Not tonight, then,” she said, her hands touching his chest, “tomorrow, we’ll go back to being strangers tomorrow.”

He hesitated, he hated goodbyes, sometimes the cleaner the break up the better. But could he say no? No.

“What do you want, Scarlett?” He asked, dropping all formalities again.

“Love me again, Jaehyun,” she whispered, her eyes pleading. “Don’t stop, even if it’s just for tonight,” she ran her hand in his hair, “I want this to be forever, even if it’s just going to be for an hour.”

He had to suppress a choked sob and nodded, pulling her body close to his. Their lips crashed in a heated kiss, it was hungry, messy, there was nothing sweet. It was almost as if they wanted to leave scars of their love on each other for days to remember.

They were mad, sad, and hopelessly in love, writing the last page of a cursed love story that wasn’t supposed to happen in the first place.

“I want it hard, Jaehyun,” she begged, “I want you to leave your mark on me, I want him to know he wasn’t the first to have all of me,” she urged, hands roaming on his body to get him out of his uniform. “I want you to love me so hard that when his hands will trace my body, my skin will cry for not recognising your touch.”

A tear rolled down his cheek at her words, but he was fast at wiping it away, carrying her body to the bed.

“I’ll give you everything, love,” he whispered, “every single piece of me.”

He ripped her nightgown and threw the broken fabric on the floor, exposing her chest. He leaned down, lips kissing her neck, trailing down to her nipple, catching the sensitive bud in his mouth and pulling every now and then.

“Fuck,” she cursed, hips meeting his hardening bulge, still trapped in his pants.

He stood up and quickly got rid of his pants and underwear, doing the same with her panties, exposing her dripping cunt to the night air.

“Turn around,” he ordered, patting her thigh gently, waiting for her to follow the instructions. “Hands and knees, my love,” he instructed when she laid down flat against the mattress.

“Good girl,” he praised against her ear, placing her braid at the side of her neck, his body pressing against her back, his tip teasing her entrance.

Without saying other words he slipped into her, slowly, making her feel every inch, as her walls welcomed him as if she was made just for him.

She let her head fall forward, lips parted spilling out moans and cries as he started to thrust into her.

His big hands wrapped around her waist, pushing her against him with every thrust.

“You feel so good, fuck,” he groaned, roaming his right hand on her body, feeling every inch of her soft skin.

“Mhh,” she moaned, her hands shaking, about to give up, and they did, making her crash against the bed. Before she could try to stand again, Jaehyun placed his hand on her shoulder, pushing her down against the mattress, fucking into her with more strength and speed.

She felt the air getting knocked out of her lungs, her eyes snapped open and her hands tried to ground on the sheets. Senseless moans and curses rolling out of her lips.

“You like it, don’t you?” He asked, smacking her ass. “You like it when I don’t treat you as a precious jewel that could break at any moment but push your buttons to the limit?”

“Yes,” she cried out.

“It makes you feel alive. It makes you feel normal,” he taunted, hand pushing her body up against his, and then wrapping around her neck.

She nodded. Everybody there underestimated her and thought that she was naive and innocent, but she wasn’t. And it was thrilling that he was the only one that could see her like that.

He pulled her hair back and kissed her hard, drowning a deep moan that rolled out of her lips.

“Jaehyun, fuck,” she moaned, hands clenching around his biceps, trying to stay up given the force of his thrusts.

He cupped her breast and squeezed, his fingers playing with her nipple, adding more stimulation.

Her body was on fire, the position was exhausting but it felt too good to complain. And the fact that it was going to be the last time heightened every sensation.

His hands around her body felt hungrier than ever, his lips softer, and his moans sounded like music to her ears.

“Jaehyun, I’m gonna come,” she cried, eyes shut together, holding on to him for dear life.

“Go on, love,” he encouraged, kissing her neck, “I’m close, too.”

With a few strokes, she came all over his cock and he came into her while their whines and groans mixed together.

But he never stopped, not even once they both came down from the high.

“Jae, I came,” she stated, voice barely coming out of her mouth.

“I know,” he replied, “I want you to do it again,” and she could sense the smirk on his face even though she couldn't see him.  

“But,” she cried, trying to push out words that weren't even formed in her brain.

“Shh,” his thumb grazed her lips, “I know you can do it again.” His voice was low and reassuring and it made her melt. Even though he was overstimulating her she could feel the love he felt for her. A love so strong she will never live again. 

“God,” she choked, when his hand started moving on her clit, thighs shaking and stars filling her vision.

“I want to fill you again and again,” Jaehyun moaned. “I want you to feel cum drip out of you for weeks, to never forget I was here.” His hands gripped her flesh tighter, pulling her body incredibly close to his with every stroke.  

“Fuck,” she slurred, head falling against his shoulder, kissing harshly again.

He pushed her upper body against the mattress again, hips slapping against her ass, his hands kneading it, eyes staring at where their bodies met.

“That’s it, so good, take it all,” he praised, looking at how much his cock was stretching her.

“I’m close again,” she blurted, and he sped up his movement on her clit, making tears spill out of her eyes.

“Clench around me, love. Make me come, fuck,” Jaehyun groaned, hips going incredibly fast, “Like this,” he praised, left hand gripping her waist to push her closer and deeper.

“I’m gon-“ she couldn’t finish the sentence that the orgasm hit her, vision blurry, ears buzzing and legs shaking.

“So good, just for me,” Jaehyun praised, hips moving slower, riding out both of their orgasms, hands caressing her skin, while he spilled into her.

She smiled against the bedsheets, feeling sore.

He pulled out and turned her around, her eyes opened when she felt the head of his cock pressing against her wet, swollen folds.

“One more, I know you can take it,” he cooed. “You don’t have to if you don’t want,” he reassured, hand caressing her hip. He would never force her to do something she didn't want to.

She nodded, she came much more than thrice in the past, she definitely could take it. Also, this was going to be their last night and she didn’t want to waste any occasion.

“I want you again, Jaehyun,” she comforted, opening her arms to welcome him in.

He smiled and then easily pushed deep into her.

“I wanted to see your pretty face one last time,” he whispered, cock hitting perfectly into her, making her hips buckle up for more.

“God, you look so beautiful all fucked up and ruined by me,” he noted, her hands clenched at his shoulders, chest rising faster, heart jumping in her chest at his words.

“All of this,” she paused, “is just for you.”

He smiled, bitterly. No, it wasn’t. But right now, lies were better than reality, and he ate that up.

But she wasn’t lying. No other man will ever get her like that. She will never be that vulnerable, that naked to somebody else.

It will be sex, not love.

“You take me perfectly. Made just for me,” his strokes got faster, and she arched her back feeling the orgasm already there.

“Yes, yes,” she chanted, “just for you, love.”

That unusual pet name made his heart melt, and his speed picked up. He pulled her waist up, the new angle sending her into another dimension, and wrapped her legs around his figure.

“Going to fill you up so good, and you’ll take every fucking drop,” he groaned, kissing her messily, hand working on her clit.

“Tell me you love me,” he demanded. It felt so fucking pathetic, but he needed to hear it, again and again, so much that those would be the only words to linger in his brain for the rest of his, now useless, life.

“I love you, so much,” she mumbled, tears streaming down her face for pleasure and pain.

“Look at me, angel. I want to see you,” Jaehyun ordered, resting his forehead against hers.

“Come for me,” he whispered when he felt her walls become incredibly tight.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she mumbled looking in his eyes as the orgasm hit her. A deeper groan left Jaehyun’s mouth as he emptied himself into her, his hips coming to a stop once they were done riding their pleasure.

The room got quieter, their irregular breaths the only thing that filled the silence.

They spent a few minutes like this, in each other embrace, and then Jaehyun kissed her gently on the lips and pulled out of her.

“Don’t leave, please,” she begged, tears rolling down her face again.

“I won’t,” he assured her, pulling her body close to his.

“I had to fire you to convince you to sleep with me,” she laughed off.

A chuckle left his lips as he pulled the sheets to cover their bodies.

“Yeah, you did,” he smiled, thumb caressing her face.

“I’ll miss you,” she admitted, voice barely higher than a whisper.

“I’ll miss you too,” he replied, his eyes were wandering on her face, terrified he would forget every detail of her faster than he’d liked to. 

It turned out that loving her, really, was painful, and cursed, and soul-draining. Jaehyun felt a hole in his chest at the thought of not seeing her anymore or hearing her voice happily telling him about what she learned at the daily courses she took, or even nag about other royals, or gossip about what the servants would confess to her. She was a ray of sun, the only light he had in his life after his parent's death, and he couldn’t believe it was getting taken away from him. His little bubble of sunshine that lit up his rainy days, gone forever.

Jaehyun shook his head, and took a deep breath, trying not to think of the burning pain he could feel in his chest.

“But I’m sure you’ll find your happiness there, too. I heard their kingdom is famous for the precious wool and the rare food the land offers,” he smiled.

She wasn’t sure about that at all, she was leaving her heart behind, to him, and was sure that no food or perfectly knitted dress could fix her broken heart. She nodded anyway.

“Scarlett,” he called, and when she looked up at him he kept going, “I know you don’t want this, but, please,” he begged, “promise me you’ll try.”

She huffed, “And why? What’s the point?”

“You’ll be an amazing Queen, caring for your people, caring for your reign. That’s the worth. I want to read about you being a Queen, shining in all your glory.”

“I don’t need to be happy with him to do that,” she replied.

Jaehyun sighed, it was going to be impossible to convince her.

She snuggled closer to him, arms wrapping tighter around him. She didn't want to think about her future, she just wanted to stay in his arms and pretend that was their reality.

“If you ever need me, you know where to find me,” he said, caressing her back. 

She nodded, a small part of her hoped her father would fire him so that she would never have to see him again. But that was selfish, he needed a job. He had nothing, unlike her. And she already hurt him too much. Sure, she was going to get married against her will, but she had something. Him? He had just her. And she was letting him go.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed.

“No, please. Nothing of this is your fault, I knew exactly what I was doing when I got into this.”

“You know I love you, right?” she asked, she wanted to make sure he knew her feelings were real.

“I know, love, I know.”

“I’ll never stop doing it,” she whispered, sleep taking over her. She wanted to fight it, stay up all night to talk to him, look at him, live him for the last time. But she was tired, it had been a long and exhausting day, and the last three orgasms didn't help.

“Neither will I,” he said, and that was the last thing she heard before her eyelids closed heavily on her eyes.

Jaehyun didn’t sleep that night. And when the first rays of sun lit up the room he found himself still awake, staring at her sleeping body. She looked peaceful, face relaxed, lips partly open, and heart beating steadily. He kissed her forehead, gently, and moved a strand of hair out of her face.

He sighed, slipping out her hold, and jumped out of the bed, careful not to make a sound.

He gathered his clothes and put them on.

He took a deep breath, turned around to look at her one last time and then opened the door of her bedroom before whispering one last “I love you.”

He was fast at reaching the King’s room. He knew he was already awake given the hour and the busy schedule of Monday.

“Sir? What are you doing here?” The King asked, stupor on his face.

“Good morning, your Majesty,” Jaehyun greeted, bowing politely, “I have to fire myself from the job of bodyguard for the Princess Scarlett, your Majesty,” he announced, standing tall, hands behind his back. “I have to fire myself from working for your whole family, to be more precise.”

The King furrowed, not understanding the sudden change of decision.

“Did she physically or verbally attack you tonight?”

“No, King,” he answered politely, hoping he wouldn’t dig further. Probably the King would've put the pieces together, but not now for sure, and by then he would've already been far away.

“You are one of the best guards we ever had here. You worked for us for so long, is the money not enough?” The King asked, a hand resting under his chin. 

Jaehyun smiled, “No, your Majesty, an unforeseen happened at home, I have to go back.” 

The King breathed deeply, “You told me you could’ve followed her yesterday.”

“I know, but it totally slipped from my mind. The letter arrived in the middle of the week and I was pondering the conditions. I also thought it was better for the Princess to have somebody she knew around but then I considered she needs a fresh start,” he replied. “And I really need to go back home, I don’t think my mom will beat her disease this time, I have to stay by her side.” 

The King didn’t seem convinced but didn’t question any further.

“Fine, Jaehyun. You are dismissed, then. You’ll receive your last check at home,” he informed. “If you ever change your mind, we’ll be glad to have you back.” 

Jaehyun nodded, “Thank you, your Majesty.” He bowed politely and then bade his greetings, walking out of the room.

As soon as the wooden door closed behind him, Jaehyun could feel tears at the corner of his eyes. He had lost the love of his life and his job overnight. 

He knew that wasn’t the right solution, she would’ve haunted his days and nights for a long time, but he had to start somewhere.

He didn’t want to help her pack her things. He didn’t want to see her cry again. He didn’t want to see her stroll away with the Prince at her side. And he didn’t want to see her again in a few months at her wedding, and then later at the official dinners, stuck at Prince side, probably carrying a child that wasn’t his.

Their goodbye was sealed that night. And he wanted to remember her like that.

Peacefully sleeping in their bed, in their home, while he was in the kitchen preparing breakfast after a passionate night together.

He wanted to live in his dreams, just for a while. The right amount of time he needed to get over her.

Till time would do its job and erase her from his memory.

Their love, just a mindless dream in the past.

“Amami perdutamente.”

a/n: hope you liked it! maybe let me know, it’s always appreciated.

part two: here 

#nct fanfiction #nct smut #nct jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun bodyguard #jaehyun royal #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun oneshot #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct 127 angst #jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun angst #jeong jaehyun angst #jeong jaehyun smut #yoonoh smut #yoonoh angst

[maschera-perenne]

Sul punto di esplodere.

#esplodere #stop #pensieri #troppi pensieri #crollare #stanco #stanco di vivere #vivere #malinconia #suicidio #depressione #maschera #perenne

[valephotografy]

Chi ti vede ti definisce “Solare”. Perché la Foschia lieve della Malinconia la vede solo chi si ferma un po’ a viverti.

Whoever sees you defines you as "Solar". Because the slight haze of Melancholy can only be seen by those who stop for a while to live there.

#landscape #original photographers #photographers on tumblr #photography #puglia #italia #italy #canoneos2000d #canon #canoneos #tamron70300 #tamron #portocesareo #travelitaly #travel #tramonti #tramonto #photogram #canon photos #photoblog #blogger #sunscape #sunshine #sunrise #sunset #seascape #summer #instadaily #instalike #instagood

[charium-blog]

Vorrei solo chiudere gli occhi e non aprirli mai più

Charium

#citazioni #depressione #malinconia #vita #suicidio #odio #occhi #frasi occhi #stop #lacrime

[vogliosoloscendere]

Io ho perso un sacco di tempo con il vero me e credimi: nessuno mi amerebbe.

Bojack Horseman

#amare #bojack horseman #italia #citazioni #netflix #nessuno #niente #basta #stop #vogliosoloscendere #vero #tempo #vita #vivere #morire #morte #depressione #nostalgia #malinconia #ansia #angoscia #empatia #gioia #delizia #serie tv

[vefa321]

5 novembre 2020

"Fermati allo stop" cantava Umberto Tozzi, lo so sono passati molti anni, credo di ricordare fosse il lato b di "Ti amo", o forse è solo un difetto della mia memoria.

Comunque sia o comunque vada, sono giorni segnati dai semafori, colori di un arcobaleno che parte dalla speranza per arrivare al rosso passione di Cristo, un percorso doloroso, stazioni ferme alle regioni e sepolcri...senza il vino ed il ristoro.

L'analogia della paura portata in spalla come una croce.

Non conta se sei credente, in quale Dio ti vedi, in quale santo ti vuoi affidare...

Conta solo avere fede e fiducia, fare ciò che serve per il bene di tanti, di tutti forse è rimasto solo un sogno.

Novembre passerà anche senza fermarsi, come ogni stagione, come il vento e la malinconia.

Arriverà dicembre a scrivere letterine, a leggere nuovi decreti, a vivere alla giornata, i cotimisti della vita.

Saranno giorni amari e forse anche magri, giorno di dubbi e giorni di rabbia...

Giorni stemperati nel nero di un caffè che unisce l'Italia in un'unica famiglia.

@vefa321

[faccioliste]

12 Etudes, Op.10: No.2 in A minor – Frédéric Chopin, Andrei Yeh

12 Etudes, Op.10: No.4 in C sharp minor – Frédéric Chopin, Andrei Yeh 

1977 – Ana Tijoux

24 mila baci – Adriano Celentano 

33 “GOD” – Bon Iver

3 Nouvelles Etudes, B.130: 2. Allegretto in A flat major – Frédéric Chopin, Andrei Yeh 

3WW – Alt-J 

3WW – OTG Version, Alt-J

44 gatti 

505 – Arctic Monkeys 

50 Special – Lùnapop

 715 - CR∑∑KS – Bon Iver 

A Cruel Angel’s Thesis – Neon Genesis Evangelion

A Fifth of Beethoven – Walter Murphy

A mano a mano – Rino Gaetano

A me me piace ‘a nutella – Il piccolo Lucio

A new error – Moderat 

A NINGÚN HOMBRE (Cap.11: Poder) – ROSALÍA

Acida – Prozac+

Acqua (Malpensandoti) – Tedua

Addams Family Theme

Addio a Napoli / Ma come fanno i marinai – Dalla, De Gregori

Address Unknown – The Ink Spots

After Hours – The Velvet Underground

Aggiungi un posto a tavola – Johnny Dorelli

Ai ai ai – Los locos 

Ain’t Got No – Nina Simone

Al ballo mascherato – Fabrizio De André

Alexander Platz – Franco Battiato

Alla consolle – Mimmo Amerelli

All Alone – Gorillaz

All Day and All of the Night – The Kinks

All In – Nitro

All I want is you – Barry Louis Polisar

All of me – John Legend

All tomorrow’s parties – The Velvet Underground

Alter Ego – Tame Impala

American Boy – Estelle, Kanye West

American Pie – Don McLean

American Woman – Lenny Kravitz

Amigas Cheetahs – The Ceetah Girls

Amor, amor de mia amores – Natalie Lagourcade

Amore che vieni, amore che vai – Fabrizio De André

Amore disperato – Nada

Anche per te – Lucio Battisti

Andavo a cento all’ora – Gianni Morandi

Anemos - Introduzione – Murubutu

Another brick in the wall – Pink Floyd

Antidoping – Gemitaiz, MadMan, Ensi

APPARTENGO - Il sangue – Marracash, Massimo Pericolo

Applausi per Fibra – Fabri Fibra

Arabella – Arctic Monkeys

Are you gonna be my girl – Jet

Argenti Vive – Caparezza

Arrivederci Tristezza – Brunori Sas

Ask - The Smiths

Autoipnotica – Caparezza

Avrai ragione tu (ritratto) – Caparezza

Azzurro – Adriano Celentano

Ba-ba-baciami piccina – Quartetto Cedra

Babalù – Mannarino

Baby – Justin Bieber

Baby Boy – Beyoncé

…Baby One More Time – Britney Spears

Baby’s on Fire – Die Antwoord

Baciala – La Sirenetta

Baciami ancora – Jovanotti

Back In Black – AC/DC

Back On The Scene – Slaughterhouse

Badabum Cha Cha – Jim Croce

bad guy – Billie Eilish

Bad Mouth – Fugazi

BAGDAD - Cap.7: Liturgia – ROSALÍA

Balla – Umberto Rosario Balsamo

Ballata degli impiccati – Fabrizio De André

Bam bam – Sister Nancy

BamBam – Matador

Banana Brain – Die Antwoord

Bandiera Bianca – Franco Battiato

Bandiera Gialla – Gianni Pettenati

Bandiera Rossa – ✊

Bang bang (My baby shot me down) – Nancy Sinatra

Barbera e Champagne – Giorgio Gaber

Beachwood Park – The Zombies

Bella ciao – ✊

Bella vera – 883

Be my baby – The Ronettes

Ben 10 – Sigla

Benzi box – DANGERDOOM

Berghem béla sità

The best of both worlds – Hannah Montana

Bibbidi bobbidi bu

Bigger Than Prince – Green Velvet

The Black Angel’s Death song – The Velvet Underground, Nico

Blackbird – The Beatles

Blank Space – Taylor Swift

Blowin’ in the wind – Bob Dylan

Blue Monday – New Order

Blue Suede Shoes – Elvis Presley

Blush Beat – Club Domani

Bocca di rosa – Fabrizio De André

BODY PARTS - I denti – Marracash

Boom boom boom boom – Vegaboys

Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

Branca Day – Derozer

BRAVI A CADERE - I polmoni – Marracash

Brazil – Django Reinhardt

Breakthru – Queen

Briciole – Calcutta

Brother Sparrow – Agnes Obel

Bull in the heather – Sonic Youth

Buonanotte Fiorellino – Francesco De Gregori

Buona sera (Signorina) – Fred Buscaglione

By Night – Sophie Hutchings

B.Y.O.B. – System Of A Down

By starlight – The Smashing Pumpkins

By This River – Brian Eno

Cacao Meraviglio – Renzo Arbore, Paola Cortellesi, Nino Frassica

California King Bed – Rihanna

Camcamini spazzacamin

Canapa – Punkreas

Cannabis – Ska-P

Cannibal Bling Bling – 10LEC6

Can’t Hold Us – Macklemore

Can’t Stop – Red Hot Chili Peppers

Canzone – Lucio Dalla

Canzone all’entrata – Caparezza

Canzone all’uscita – Caparezza

Canzone a metà – Caparezza

Canzone Del Maggio – Fabrizio De André

Canzone intelligente – Cochi E Renato

Canzone per te – Sergio Endrigo

Carabinieri – Sigla 

Caramba beviamo del whisky 

Carlo Martello Ritorna Dalla Battaglia Di Poitiers – Fabrizio De André

Caso umano – Ministri

Cattolica – Pop X

Centro di gravità permanente – Franco Battiato

C’est la vie (you never can tell) – Pulp no pulp

Che coss’è l’amor – Vinicio Capossela

Che Fico! – Pippo Franco

Che Idea! – Flaminio Maphia

Chi C’è – Fabri Fibra

China Town – Caparezza

Chi Se Ne Frega Della Musica – Caparezza

Chissà Dove Sei – Francesco De Gregori

Chop Suey! – System of a Down

Chum – Earl Sweatshirt

Chunky – Flatbush Zombies

Ci Penso Dopo – Fabri Fibra

Cirano – Francesco Guccini 

Clandestino – Manu Chao

Clint Eastwood – Gorillaz

Coda di Lupo – Fabrizio De André

Come porti i capelli bella bionda – I Girasoli

Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd

Complicated – Avril Lavigne

Comprami – Viola Valentino

Compro Horror – Caparezza

Comunque Dada – Caparezza

Concerning Hobbits – The Lord of the Rings

Conga! 

Cooler Couleur – Crookers

Cose che non capisco – Caparezza

Country Roads

Crabs in a Bucket – Vince Staples

Crazy in Love – Beyoncé

Crooked Cops – Rejjie Snow

CRUDELIA - I nervi – Marracash

Cuccurucucù – Franco Battiato

Cuore Matto – Little Tony

Cuore Nero – Blind

DA BUTTARE - Il ca**o – Marracash

Da Feeling – Nightmares On Wax 

Dafne sa contare – Murubutu

Dance Monkey – Tones and I

Dancing Queen – ABBA

Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol

Dangerous – Kid Enigma

DE AQUÍ NO SALES (Cap.4: Disputa) – ROSALÍA

Death on Two Legs (Dedicated to...) – Queen

Death USB – Salmo

Dedicato a te – Le Vibrazioni

Del Verde – Calcutta

Desire Be Desire Go – Tame Impala

Detto, Fatto. – Gemitaiz & MadMan

DIANA – M¥SS KETA

Dieci ragazze – Lucio Battisti

Diet Mountain Dew – Lana Del Rey

Die Walkure - Ride of the Valkyries – Royal Philharmonic Orchestra

DI MI NOMBRE (Cap.8: Éxtasis) – ROSALÍA

Disorder – Joy Division

Dispari – Marta Sui Tubi

Disperato Erotico Stomp – Lucio Dalla

Dog in the Mirror – Guerilla Toss

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

Domani – Ernia 

Domani – Articolo 31

Domani smetto – Articolo 31

Don Chisciotte – Francesco Guccini

Don Raffaè – Fabrizio De André

Don’t Cha – The Pussycat Dolls

Don't Give Up – Mystery Jets

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood – The Animals

Don’t Pass Me By – The Beatles

Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair – Arctic Monkeys

Don’t Stop Me – BowLand

DON’T WANNA SPIN – GFOTY

Do the astral plane – Flying Lotus

Dove sta zazà – Gabriella Ferri 

Dove vola l’avvoltoio – Pietro Buttarelli

Downer – Nirvana 

Dream – Hiroshi Noshimura

Dream a Little Dream of Me – Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

Drogata schifosa – Pop X

Due su due – Articolo 31

Ed ero contentissimo – Tiziano Ferro

E la luna bussò – Loredana Bertè 

E la vita, la vita – Cochi e Renato

Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles

El pueblo unido – ✊

El Tango De Roxanne – José Feliciano

Endors Toi – Tame Impala

Eroe (Storia di Luigi Delle Bicocche) – Caparezza

Estate – Negramaro 

È tardi – Caparezza

E ti vengo a cercare – Franco Battiato

Everybody Needs Somebody to Love – The Blues Brothers

Everytime We Touch – Cascada

Facciamo un pupazzo insieme? – Frozen 

Fai da tela – Caparezza

Fall In Love – Yuno

Family Affair – Mary J. Blige

Fango – Jovanotti 

Farò di te un uomo – Mulan

Fatty Boom Boom – Die Antwoord

Feel Good Inc. – Gorillaz

Feeling Good – Nina Simone

Femme Fatale – The Velvet Underground

Fenomeno – Fabri Fibra

Figli d’arte – Caparezza

Figli Di Pitagora – Eiffel 65

Figli di puttana – Pop X

Fireside – Arctic Monkeys

Five to one – The Doors 

Fleas to beas – 10LEC6

Forever Jung – Caparezza

Franziska – Fabrizio De André

Freak Like Me – DJ Deeon

Frosinone – Calcutta

Funkytown – Lipps Inc.

Funnel of Love – Wanda Jackson 

Fuori dal tunnel – Caparezza

Gaetano – Calcutta

Game of Thrones – Sigla

Gasolina – Daddy Yankee

Gente che spera – Articolo 31 

Ghetto Kraviz – Nina Kraviz

Gianna – Rino Gaetano

Gigugin – Articolo 31

Giotto Beat – Caparezza

GIOVANNA HARDCORE – MYSS KETA

Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne

Girls Just Want to Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

Giudizi universali – Samuele Bersani

Gli insetti del podere – Caparezza

Gli uccelli – Franco Battiato

G.O.A.T. - Il cuore – Marracash

GO AWAY! – CocoRosie

Goodbye Malinconia – Caparezza

Good Golly Miss Molly – Little Richard

Goodnight Moon – Shivaree

Gotta Go My Own Way – High School Musical Cast

Grande figlio di puttana – Stadio

Grau grau grau - da “io sto con gli ippopotami” – Bud Spencer

Grease – The Four Seasons

Greased Lightnin’ – John Travolta

GRETA THUNBERG - Lo stomaco – Marracash

Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen

Happiness is a Warm Gun – The Beatles

Happy Days – Ghali

Happy Days (Theme from Happy Days) – Pratt & McClain

Happy Hour – Felix da Housecat

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk

Harry Potter in 99 Seconds – Jon Cozart

Have You Ever Had... (Skit) – Salmo

Heart and Soul – Joy Division

Heartbreak Hotel – Elvis Presley

Hello, I Love You – The Doors

Hey Bulldog – The Beatles

Hit Me with Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar

Hit the Road Jack – Ray Charles

Hive – Earl Sweatshirt

Ho capito che ti amo – Luigi Tenco

Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus

Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani

home with you – FKA twigs

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it – Lana Del Rey

Hotel Supramonte – Fabrizio De André

House Credibility – Caparezza

Ho visto un re – Enzo Jannacci

How Far – Tei Shi

HUMBLE. – Kendrick Lamar

HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA’A – High School Musical Cast

Hypnotize – The Notorious B.I.G.

I Am Woman – Helen Reddy

I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor – Arctic Monkeys

(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – The Rolling Stones

I Cento Passi – Modena City Ramblers

I colori del vento – Pocahontas 

I consigli di un pirla – Articolo 31

Ieri era zero – Hercules 

I Fink U Freeky – Die Antwoord

I Follow Rivers – Lykke Li

If She Really Is Your Light – Pavlove

I Know It’s Over – The Smiths

Il ballo del qua qua – Romina Power 

Il ballo di San Vito – Vinicio Capossela

Il bar della rabbia – Mannarino

Il Bel Canto – Ministri

Il Bombarolo – Fabrizio De André

Il Cielo In Una Stanza – Gino Paoli

Il Dito Medio Di Galileo – Caparezza

Il Funkytarro – Articolo 31

Il Gatto E La Volpe – Edoardo Bennato

Il gigante e la bambina – Lucio Dalla 

Il gorilla – Fabrizio De André

I’ll Be Your Mirror – The Velvet Underground

I’ll Come Running – Brian Eno

Il Mondo – Jimmy Fontana

Il Pescatore – Fabrizio De André

Il posto più freddo – I Cani

Il Principe Ali – Aladdin

Il regalo più grande – Tiziano Ferro

Il senso dell’odio – Salmo

Il suonatore Jones – Fabrizio De André

Il tempo di morire – Lucio Battisti

Il testamento – Fabrizio De André

Il testamento di Tito – Fabrizio De André

Il testo che avrei voluto scrivere – Caparezza

Il Vitello Dai Piedi Di Balsa – Elio e le Storie Tese

I’m a Believer – Smash Mouth

I marinai tornano tardi – Murubutu

Impara il longobardo con Alessandro Barbero 

I’m so tired – The Beatles

In caduta libera – Folkstone

In Cold Blood​​ – alt-J

Incontro – Francesco Guccini

In Italia – Fabri Fibra

Innuendo – Queen

Insieme a te non ci sto più – Caterina Caselli

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea – Neutral Milk Hotel

Introduzione – Fabrizio De André

In Un Giorno Di Pioggia – Modena City Ramblers

Inverno – Fabrizio De André

Io centro con i missili –  Pop X

Io credo in me – Naruto 

Io ho in mente te – Equipe 84

Io non mi sento italiano – Giorgio Gaber

Io sono fatto di neve – Ministri

Io sono qui – Salmo

Irene – Pinguini Tattici Nucleari

Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls

Isla Magica – Maria Usbeck

Isobarre – Murubutu

I sogni son desideri 

Isola verde – Murubutu

Italove – EMMANUELLE

It Is Not Meant To Be – Tame Impala

It’s not too late – 10LEC6

I’ve got a woman – Ray Charles

(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life – Bill Medley

I vitelloni – Bobo Rondelli

I wanna be your lover – La Bionda 

I wanna be yours – Arctic Monkeys 

I want you back – The Jackson 5 

I will survive – Gloria Gaynor 

Jazz suite no.2: 6 waltz II – Dmitri Shostakovich

Jigsaw Feeling – Siouxsie and the Banshees

Johnny B. Goode – Chuck Berry

Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) – Kenny Rogers

Just the way you are – Bruno Mars 

Kalasnjkov – Goran Bregović, Slobodan Salijevic

Keep yourself alive – Queen

Kentucky – Il Bepi & The Prismas

Kevin Spacey – Caparezza

Killer Queen – Queen

King’s Supreme – Machete Crew

Kitaro – Caparezza

Kurt Cobain – Brunori Sas

La Ballata Dell’amore Cieco (O Della Vanità) – Fabrizio De André

La Ballata dell’eroe – Fabrizio De André

La Ballata del Miché – Fabrizio De André

La bambola – Patty Pravo

La bella la và al fosso – I Girasoli

La Bomba In Testa – Fabrizio De André

La Caduta di Atlante – Caparezza

La Canzone del Padre – Fabrizio De André

La Canzone di Barbara – Fabrizio De André

La Canzone di Marinella – Fabrizio De André

La cesarina – I Girasoli

La città vecchia – Fabrizio De André

La collina dei pioppi – Murubutu

La cosa – Cochi e Renato

Lacrime – Ghali

La cura – Franco Battiato

La danza delle streghe – Gabry Ponte 

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space – Spiritualized

La donna cannone – Francesco De Gregori

Lady Marmalade – Moulin Rouge

La famiglia dei becchini – Musica Per Bambini 

La fine di Gaia – Caparezza

La Ghigliottina – Caparezza

La grande onda – Piotta

La guerra di Piero – Fabrizio De André

La Isla Bonita – Madonna

La La Land – Green Velvet

Lala Song – Bob Sinclar

La libertà – Giorgio Gaber

La lontananza – Domenico Modugno

La mamma di Rosina – I Girasoli

La Marchetta di Popolino – Caparezza

La mazurka di periferia – Raoul Casadei

La mia parte intollerante – Caparezza

La mia ragazza mena – Articolo 31

L’animale – Franco Battiato

La notte – Arisa

La parata degli elefanti rosa – Quartetto Cetra

L’appuntamento – Calibro 35

La prima rondine venne ier sera – Pop x

La prima volta  – Motta

La prima volta – Salmo

La regola dell’amico – 883

La rivoluzione del sessintutto – Caparezza

L’armata perduta di Re Cambise – Murubutu

Larsen – Caparezza

Las Divinas – Patito Feo

La società dei magnaccioni – Lando Fiorini

La spesa – Marta Sui Tubi

La stagione del tuo amore – Fabrizio De André

La Strada – Modena City Ramblers 

La Tartaruga – Bruno Lauzi

Laughing On The Outside – Bernadette Carroll

La Valse à Mille Temps – Jacques Brel

La vie en rose – Édith Piaf

La vie en rose – Louis Armstrong

L’avvelenata – Francesco Guccini

Layla – Eric Clapton

Le barche – Calcutta

Le coppie – I Cani

Legalize The Premier – Caparezza

L’emozione non ha voce – Adriano Celentano

Le ragazze di porta venezia – Myss Keta

Less Than – Nine Inch Nails

Le tasche piene di sassi – Jovanotti

Let Me Blow Ya Mind – Eve

Let’s Get Crazy – Hannah Montana

Let’s Twist Again – Chubby Checker

Levante – Murubutu

Lexotan – I Cani

L. Fast & D. Young – Salmo

L’Idraulico Aulico – MusicaPerBambini

Life on Mars? – David Bowie

L’immensità – Don Backy

Limonata – Calcutta 

L’infinto – Caparezza

L’inno del corpo sciolto – Roberto Benigni 

L’isola Che Non C’è – Edoardo Bennato

L’italiano medio – Articolo 31

Little Green Bag – George Baker Selection

Little Lover – AC/DC

Livin’ la Vida Loca – Ricky Martin

Lonely Boy – The Black Keys

Lonely Day – System of a Down

Long Tall Sally – Little Richard

Lontano dagli occhi – Sergio Endrigo

Lontano, lontano – Luigi Tenco

Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee – Stockard Channing

Looking at You – MC5

Loose Lips – Kimya Dawson

Loser – Beck

Los Ojos Del Diablo – El Raton 

Lo stretto indispensabile – Il libro della giungla 

Love Buzz – Shocking Blue

Love Is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys

Love Me – Justin Bieber

Love sex american express – Cristian Marchi

Love Stink – LoboLoto

Love Story – Taylor Swift

Lucifer Sam – Pink Floyd

Lucille – Little Richard

L’ultima festa – Cosmo

L’ultima speranza – Hercules

L’uomo che premette – Caparezza

L’uomo tigre 

L’uva fogarina – I Girasoli 

Ma che freddo fa – Nada

Madame Hollywood – Felix da Housecat

MADAME - L’anima – Marracash

Maddalena e Madonna – Brunori Sas

Madonnina dai riccioli d’oro – I Girasoli

Mad Sounds – Arctic Monkeys

Magazine – Dark Polo Gang

Ma il cielo è sempre più blu – Rino Gaetano

MALAMENTE (Cap.1: Augurio) – ROSALÍA

MALDICIÓN (Cap.10: Cordura) – ROSALÍA

Maledetti scarafaggi 

Mambo Italiano – Renato Carosone

Mamma Roma, Addio – Cranio Randagio

Mara e il maestrale – Murubutu

Marco gioca sott’acqua – Murubutu

Marks – Nicolas Jaar

Marry You – Bruno Mars

MARYLEAN – Machete

Marylou – Mannarino

mary magdalene – FKA twigs

Mas Que Nada – Sergio Mendes

Materazzi ha fatto gol – Matrixgol

Matilda – ​​alt-J

Men In Black – Will Smith

Mentre tutto scorre – Negramaro

Merchandise – Fugazi

Me So’ Mbriacato – Mannarino

Messa in moto – Caparezza

Meteorological – Guerilla Toss

Mica Van Gogh – Caparezza

Migliora La Tua Memoria Con Un Click – Caparezza

Milano – Calcutta

MILANO SUSHI & COCA – M¥SS KETA

Milkshake – Kelis

Mi mujer – Nicolas Jaar

Minor Swing – Django Reinhardt & le Hot Club de France

Minuetto – Mia Martini

Mio fratello è figlio unico – Rino Gaetano

Mi parli di te – Motta

Mi sei scoppiato dentro al cuore – Mina

Mi sento una betulla in piena estate insieme a te – Cecco e Cipo

Misirlou – Surf Boys 

Mi sono innamorato di te – Luigi Tenco

Moanin’ – Charles Mingus

Moby Dick – Led Zeppelin

Mon oncle – Frank Barcellini

Moondance – Van Morrison

Morte in diretta – Salmo

Mouth trap! – 10LEC5

Mr. Simpatia – Fabri Fibra

My Generation – The Who

My Rollercoaster – Kimya Dawson

NANA (Cap.9: Concepción) – ROSALÍA

Nandemonaiya – RADWIMPS

Narcoleptic Verses Pt. 1 – Salmo

Negative Youth – Salmo

Nel blu dipinto di blu – Domenico Modugno

Nella Mia Ora Di Libertà – Fabrizio De André

Nella pancia dello squalo – Salmo

Nessuno – Brunori Sas

Nessun rimpianto – 883

Niente da capire – Francesco De Gregori 

Niente di strano – Giorgio Poi 

No. 1 Party Anthem – Arctic Monkeys

No Big Bang – Priests

No Fear – Fabrizio Maurizi 

Noi bambine non abbiamo scelta – Baustelle

Non farti cadere le braccia – Edoardo Bennato

Non me lo posso permettere – Caparezza

Non me lo so spiegare – Tiziano Ferro

Non potrei mai – Fast Animals and Slow Kids

Non siete stato voi – Caparezza 

NON SONO MARRA - La pelle – Marracash

No Stress – Laurent Wolf

No Surprises – Radiohead

No Tengo Dinero – Righeira

Noter de Berghem – I cör alegher 

Notte prima degli esami – Antonello Venditti 

No Woman, No Cry – Bob Marley & The Wailers

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles

Oh, pretty woman – Roy Orbison

Oltre il ponte – Modena City Ramblers

Oltre l’orizzonte – Oceania 

One More Time – Daft Punk 

One O Six – Jupiter 

One way or another – Blondie 

On Melancholy hill – Gorillaz

On the floor  Jennifer Lopez

Oops! I did it again – Britney Spears 

Orgasmo – Calcutta

Oroscopo – Calcutta

OSCENO – Lilly Meraviglia 

Our song – Taylof Swift 

Paint it, Black – The Rolling Stones

Pale Blue Eyes – The Velvet Underground 

Pantalica – Colapesce 

Papa was a Rolling Stones – The Temptations

Paper Bag Acid – Jerome Hill 

Paradise – Phoebe Cates

Paranoia mia – Ernia 

Parole parola – Mina 

Party in the U.S.A – Miley Cyrus 

Peace Lovin Man – John Lee Hooker

Peaches en regalia – Frank Zappa

Penny Lane – The Beatles 

Pepper – Butthole Surfers 

Per amore e basta – Motta

Per dimenticare – Zero Assoluto 

Però mi vuol bene – Quartetto Cetra 

Per tutte le volte che – Valerio Scanu 

Peter Gunn – Henry Mancini

Piazza Grande – Lucio Dalla

Piccola Sbronza – Selton, Dente 

PIENSO EN TU MIRÁ (Cap.3: Celos) – ROSALÍA

Pifferaio magico – Articolo 31

Piledriver Waltz – Arctic Monkeys 

Piove – Domenico Modugno 

Pippi calzelunghe 

Pistorius – Gemitaiz, Madman 

Più bella cosa – Eros Ramazzotti 

Planet Caravan – Black Sabbath

Play – Betta Lemme 

Pleasentville – Nitro 

POCO DI BUONO - Il fegato – Marracash 

Poesia – Don Backy 

Poetessa maledetta – Club Domani, Stephanie Glitter 

Pokemon – Giorgio Vanni 

Pollon, pollon combina guai – Critina D’Avena 

Pop porno – Il Genio

Pornoromanzo – Brunori Sas

Posso farcela – Alex Baroni (Hercules)

Post Concerto – Coma_Cose 

Precipitevolissimevolmente – Dente, Il Genio 

Preghiera delle palle di neve – Musica Per Bambini

PRESO (Cap.6: Clausura) – ROSALÍA

Pretty fly (for a white guy) – The Offspring

Price Tag – Jessie J, B.o.

Prima di dormire – Salmo 

Prisencolinensinainciusol – Adriano Celentano 

Prisoner 709 – Caparezza 

Promised Land – Joe Smooth 

Prospettiva Nevsi – Franco Battiato

Psycho Killer – Talking Heads 

Pump up the jam – Technotronic, Felly 

QUALCOSA IN CUI CREDERE - Lo scheletro – Marracash

Quando quando quando – Tony Renis 

QUELLI CHE NON PENSANO - Il cervello – Marracash

Quello che siamo diventati – Motta 

QUE NO SALGA LA LUNA (Cap.2: Boda) – ROSALÍA

Questa è la mia festa – Maria Antonietta 

Questa è la realtà – Hercules 

Questo piccolo grande amore – Claudio Baglioni

Ragazza magica – Jovanotti 

Ragazze acidelle – Flaminio Maphia 

Ragazzo fortunato – Jovanotti 

Ramaya – Afric Simone

Rancho della luna – Salmo 

Rasputin – Boney M. 

Recitativo – 2 invocazioni 1 atto di accusa – Fabrizio de andré

Reginella campagnola – I Girasoli

Relax Your Body – D.F.X. 

RENIEGO - Cap.5: Lamento – ROSALÍA

Respect – Aretha Franklin 

Restiamo in casa – Colapesce 

Ricchi Dentro - Ghali

The Climb – Miley Cyrus

The Dark Side of the Mood – Nitro

The Flintstones – Sigla 

The Gravedigger’s Song – Mark Lanegan

The Heroic Weather - Conditions of the Universe, Part 1: A Veiled Mist – Alexandre Desplat

The Kids Aren’t Alright – The Offspring

The lazy song – Bruno Mars

The realness – RuPaul

[fiafico]

Dreamland

<Sei di nuovo qui, Stark?> <Sempre, dottore>, disse, e si portò due dita alla tempia sorridendo. <Chi ti terrebbe compagnia altrimenti?> <I miei pensieri>, rispose l'altro, e la familiarità di quel tono gli scaldò il petto. <Pensieri che il tuo arrivo disturba sempre> <Oh andiamo, non è che io possa smettere di dormire. Devo essere in forma per il lavoro. Sono un uomo impegnato, sai?> Un rapido movimento delle labbra e una lieve contrazione delle sopracciglia fu tutto ciò che l'uomo offrì in risposta. <Mmh... Fammi indovinare, doc. Neanche oggi sai come liberarci della nostra reciproca presenza? Non puoi, non so, tirare fuori una bacchetta, agitare un po' le mani e restituirmi il mio sonno?> L'altro sbuffò. <Lo farei se fosse così semplice, Stark, ma purtroppo non è così. E poi smettila di alludere a bacchette inesistenti, te l'ho già detto che non mi serve nulla del genere> <Come posso saperlo se fin'ora non mi hai mai mostrato nessun incantesimo? Sono curioso, doc. Oggi farai una magia per me? Va bene anche una piccola, come far sbocciare un fiore dalle...uhm, nuvole? Non ho davvero idea di cosa ci sia sotto i nostri piedi, ma non è importante. Oh oh! Ho trovato!> L'uomo lo guardò inarcando un sopracciglio, le braccia conserte e le gambe accavallate. <Fatti crescere i capelli e falli biondi!> La risposta fu immediata e molto più divertente di quanto Tony aveva sperato. <Assolutamente no!>, esclamò il dottore, alzandosi di scatto dal mucchio di nebbiolina su cui si era inspiegabilmente poggiato. <Vuoi vedere un incantesimo? Bene!> Alzò le mani davanti a sé, mosse la destra per formare un'ellisse verso l'alto e mentre scintille di un caldo arancione andavano a formare figure complesse davanti a sé, fece lo stesso con l'altra mano. Poi batté le mani tra di loro con aria abbastanza seccata e fissò Tony, in attesa. L'ospite indesiderato stava quasi per ridere a quel piccolo gioco di prestigio, ma il pelo che sentì sotto le dita quando si toccò il lato della testa lo fece fermare, impietrito. Quasi gridò quando, toccandosi le orecchie, le trovò sostituite da quelle lunghe e morbide degli asini. <Stop, stop, stop! Annulla tutto!>, gridò, ma l'altro lo guardò semplicemente sorridendo e lo indicò con un dito. <Sicuro? Ti donano particolarmente> <Non scherzare, Strange. Non dirmi che sono permanenti, perché nel caso la prossima volta troverò il modo di portare qui con me un lanciafiamme!> <Ehi, ehi, tranquillo. Non sono permanenti, scompariranno quando ti sveglierai. E per tua informazione è impossibile per noi mortali portare oggetti qui dentro. La dimensione dei sogni è-> <Totalmente indipendente da tutte le altre, sì. Lo ripeti sempre> Strange fece una smorfia e tornò a sedersi nel solito punto, ma toccò lo spazio accanto a sé, invitando Tony a sedere lì. Un grande cambiamento, si ritrovò a pensare quello mentre si avvicinava, rispetto alle prime volte. Rimasero in silenzio per un po', poi Strange sembrò ricordare qualcosa di buffo perché rise leggermente e parlò guardando da tutt'altra parte. <Quindi, sei soddisfatto adesso? Hai visto la mia magia> Anche Tony rise, ma le orecchie si piegarono di lato, esprimendo un certo fastidio. <Oh sì, ricordami di non chiedertelo mai più> <Non mi sembri molto sorpreso all'idea> <Be', sai com'è, quando ti ritrovi a condividere una sorta di sogno lucido con la stessa persona per quasi una settimana e quella è anche uno sconosciuto, tendi a non sorprenderti molto per delle lucine arancioni e un paio di orecchie da asino> Strange tacque per alcuni istanti e poi annuì, accarezzandosi il mento con due dita. <Mi sembra giusto> <E poi credo sinceramente che un sogno non possa sorprendermi più di un'invasione aliena da parte di un dio del male mutaforma> L'altro alzò la testa e spostò lo sguardo dalle sue mani tremanti in grembo alla volta stellata che brillava tenue e dolce sopra di loro. <Ah Stark, non hai idea di quanto ancora ci sia in questo e in altri mondi di più sorprendente> Parlò così e per la prima volta Tony pensò di aver sentito della vera malinconia filtrare tra le crepe di quella maschera fredda e indifferente, che portava forse senza neanche accorgersene. Quando lo guardò, tuttavia, l'espressione era quella di sempre: calma e imperturbabile. Tornò a giocherellare con le mani sulle ginocchia e si chiese come fosse la sua di maschera. Che colori avesse, se fosse rigida o morbida, di stoffa o di cartone; aveva delle piume? Un disegno? Si chiese se lo coprisse abbastanza, se riuscisse a celare bene quanto faceva quella del dottore accanto a lui. Lo domandò a se stesso e non ottenne risposta, quindi rispose al suo compagno. <Sempre così malinconico, doc? Ti verranno le rughe se non impari a rilassarti un po'> Strage sorrise e i suoi occhi si addolcirono mentre lo sguardo si posava sul suo polso. <Me lo dicono spesso> Per un po' i due rimasero in silenzio, Strange semplicemente fissando le stelle e guardandosi ogni tanto intorno, Tony ora studiando le soffici nuvole su cui erano seduti e, stranamente, il gradevole profilo del dottore, ora toccandosi le orecchie. In fondo probabilmente non ci sarebbe mai stata un'occasione migliore per studiare le orecchie di un asino, non che gli sarebbe mai servito a qualcosa, ma tant'è. Poi sbadigliò e seppe che la loro compagnia era giunta al termine. Anche Strange si girò verso di lui. <Be', dottore. Sembra che per stanotte io abbia finito qui. Come al solito ti lascio indietro... Sicuro che non sentirai la mia mancanza? Già ti immagino, qui, solo soletto, a disperarti per-> <Stark>, tuonò l'altro, <Vai e spera di non tornare domani> Tony sorrise e si alzò in piedi, si stiracchiò e sbadigliò di nuovo. Quando riaprì gli occhi la fredda luce dell'alba stava facendo capolino dal monotono orizzonte di una New York già sveglia da tempo.

•~•~•~•

<Ehilà doc>, salutò. <Quali buone nuove oggi?> Strange interruppe i suoi rapidi movimenti e si voltò verso Tony, agitando una mano in segno di saluto. <Sei arrivato prima stasera, Stark> <Sì be', diciamo che ultimamente il sonno sembra non bastare. Sarà perché mi ritrovo ogni notte in un'altra dimensione a parlare con uno sconosciuto? Chissà> Si aspettava che lo stregone alzasse gli occhi al cielo o facesse un commento tanto tagliente quando per Tony assolutamente irrinunciabile, ma invece il dottore inarcò solo un sopracciglio e unì le mani sotto al mento, un gesto che le prime volte aveva indotto Tony a pensare che fosse in preghiera, ma che poi aveva appreso essere la posizione più apprezzata per meditare su questioni di una certa importanza. <Non ti senti riposato quando ti svegli?>, chiese, osservandolo con quei suoi begli occhi chiari come il ghiaccio scintillante sotto il sole estivo. Ne seguì una subitanea sensazione di smarrimento, di cui Tony si liberò rapidamente sbattendo più volte le palpebre. <Così ho detto> <Capisco... È peggio di quanto pensassi>, mormorò l'altro tra sé e sé, considerando di portare con sé il Mantello la volta successiva. Un alleato in più poteva far comodo. Poi la sua attenzione fu attratta dai movimenti dell'altro e decise di destinare alla veglia quei ragionamenti. Si avvicinò come Stark gli aveva indicato di fare ed entrambi sedettero come al solito su un soffice ammasso di vapore, stavolta più simile a un letto che a una poltrona. Per cui non passò molto tempo per entrambi prima di decidere di stendersi. Parlarono a lungo di banalità e aspetti delle loro vite poco importanti, come era consuetudine. Nessuno dei due aveva trovato poco difficile da superare il muro che impediva loro di accettare l'altro nella propria sfera privata, e così, un po' in attesa di capire come fare, un po' forse sperando di non essere quello che avrebbe dovuto farlo per primo, le loro conversazioni rimasero confinate al livello di chiacchiere poco costruttive. Almeno fino a quando non arrivarono a parlare di affetti e in particolare della famiglia, l'argomento più privato di cui avessero mai discusso. <C'è...questo ragazzo che-> <Ti piacciono i ragazzini, Stark? Non ti facevo tipo da minorenni> Se Tony avesse avuto una bevanda, l'avrebbe sicuramente sputata, premurandosi anche di mirare esattamente al viso dell'altro. Invece scattò seduto, guardando il dottore con occhi sgranati e tossicchiando perché la saliva gli era andata di traverso. <Cosa? No! Certo che no! Peter è come un fiii- è solo il mio apprendista, e io sono il suo mentore. Punto> Strange sorrise e si stese più comodamente. <Va bene, ti credo...papà> Tony pensò di potersi soffocare con l'aria. Saltò un po' e arrossì, sperando che le poche stelle attorno a loro non bastassero perché Strange lo notasse. Quindi rispose con un certo imbarazzo. <Smettila di prendermi in giro. Potrei anche chiederti perché la tua prima domanda sia stata se mi piacessero i ragazzini e non gli uomini in generale. Insomma, non credo che sia tanto evidente> Seguì il silenzio e Tony guardò lo stregone con preoccupazione. <È evidente?> Strange sorrise di nuovo, cosa rara e molto gradita, se il miliardario avesse avuto il coraggio di ammetterlo. <Se ti può consolare, sono un buon osservatore. O almeno questo è quello che mi ha sempre detto Christine> <Ooh, finalmente un po' di backstory del misterioso dottor Stephen Strange>, fece Tony stendendosi si nuovo. <Chi è Christine? La tua ragazza?> Lo sguardo dello stregone si perse un po' nella volta scura, ma rispose ugualmente. La nostalgia pesava su ogni sua parola. <Avrebbe potuto esserlo, ma diciamo semplicemente che abbiamo preso strade diverse senza più ritrovarci. Immagino tu sappia di cosa parlo, signor Stark> Ah, pensò Tony, davvero un buon osservatore. <Tony, puoi chiamarmi Tony. Se non ci riesci va bene anche solo Stark, ma togli il "signore", fa sembrare tutto questo professionale> <Quindi immagino di doverti concedere la stessa possibilità, Stark. Anche se nel mio caso il "dottore" è sempre ben accetto> <Ma certo>, esclamò il miliardario. <Non mi sarei aspettato nulla di meno dal celeberrimo dottore, prodigio della chirurgia. C'è da essere orgogliosi dei tuoi meriti> A quelle parole gli occhi di Stephen si adombrarono e Tony desiderò poterle ritirare immediatamente. <Vedo che ti sei informato> <Solo per capire se tu fossi un fantasma o meno, giuro> Stephen rise un po'. <Immagino possa avere senso. Comunque credo di essere molto cambiato da quei tempi. Ciò che posso fare, i modi in cui posso aiutare sono drasticamente diminuiti. Non riesco nemmeno a reggere bene un bisturi, figurarsi operare> Tony rimase in silenzio, deciso a non perdersi una sola parola di quell'inaspettata confessione. Perciò il suo disappunto fu grande quando la voce profonda dello stregone smise di deliziare il suo udito e le sue speranze di individuare in lui una possibile apertura scomparvero come neve al sole. Vide il modo in cui le mani del dottore si strofinavano contro la stoffa, a scatti, e decise rapidamente di cambiare argomento. <Aaw, doc, allora hai anche un lato umano. Non mi eri sembrato così la prima volta che ci siamo incontrati. Eri tutto "non dovresti essere qui" e "sparisci!". Hai anche cercato di tirarmi un pugno> <Perché ti eri messo a gridare, idiota> L'orgoglio di Tony ne risultò lievemente ferito, ma per un bene superiore decise di ignorarlo. <Ed eri tutto in vena di filosofeggiare, coi discorsi sulle dimensioni e la realtà. Per l'amor del cielo, sicuramente non era quello ciò che avrei voluto sentirmi dire> Questo fu ciò che disse, ma in realtà serbava il ricordo di quelle poche prime ore con tenera cura. Lui, che dal sonno era passato ad un sogno lucido così reale da fare paura, scosso e del tutto disorientato, e Stephen, sorpreso, sì, e all'inizio anche molto fastidioso, ma incontestabilmente sicuro. Stargli vicino era stata una delle prime tattiche che il suo istinto di sopravvivenza gli aveva suggerito. Dopo che era riuscito ad evitare il pugno e smettere di gridare come l'uomo nel panico che era, ovviamente. Da qual momento in poi la conversazione era stata abbastanza civile, anche se terribilmente breve. Poche, semplici parole erano bastate perché Tony giungesse alla conclusione di aver sentito abbastanza per un sogno solo e si rinchiudesse in un silenzio meditativo il più lontano possibile dall'altro. Ma non troppo lontano, non sia mai. Tutto era iniziato con una domanda, seguita da un'affermazione che lì per lì lo turbò profondamente. <Tutto questo esiste realmente?> <

No, certo che no. O almeno non esiste nella sua realtà, signor Stark. Nella mia questa situazione è piuttosto normale> Solo in un secondo momento era riuscito ad analizzare la situazione con la mente di qualcuno che aveva visto e combattuto contro alieni e divinità e sì, a quel punto non era sembrata così strana. Spaventosa e fonte di disagio, certamente, ma non interamente negativa. Dopotutto aveva conosciuto uno splendido uomo dalla personalità intrigante, una fortuna del genere non capita spesso nella vita! Un uomo orgoglioso e pignolo, arrogante e serio al punto che Tony all'inizio aveva pensato pensato non sapesse sorridere. Ma anche intelligente, arguto, educato, curioso e altruista. Se quella non era la persona giusta per lui, allora non ne avrebbe mai trovata una, perché era sicuro che non ne esistesse per lui una migliore. E, ma questo era solo un piccolo sospetto per cui urgeva una verifica, probabilmente condivideva i suoi stessi gusti in fatto di amanti. Solo che forse non lo sapeva ancora. In fondo anche lui aveva immaginato di trascorrere il resto della sua vita con Pepper prima di intravedere un'altra strada. C'era la possibilità e Tony aveva intenzione di afferrarla con entrambe le mani. Ora, come verificare un'ipotesi del genere? Approccio diretto? No, la chiusura dell'altro sarebbe stata immediata e Dio solo sa quando sarebbe riuscito a rimettere in mezzo l'argomento! Doppi sensi? Insinuazioni innocenti? No, capirebbe subito. Lui è perspicace. Una prova più...pratica? Forse? Mentre analizzava le sue opzioni come se da questo dipendesse l'intero suo futuro - e un po' sperava fosse così - non si accorse che lo stregone aveva lasciato il suo fianco, alzandosi in piedi e allontanandosi un po', come se stesse cercando qualcosa nell'oscurità. Se ne rese conto solo quando sentì la sua voce richiamare la sua attenzione. <Stark, penso che dovresti andare per stanotte. Non dovrebbe essere troppo tardi, tornando ora potresti dormire bene per qualche ora> Tony si mise a sedere, guardando l'altro in preda alla confusione. Lo stava cacciando? Aveva fatto qualcosa di male? Aveva già bruciato tutte le sue chance senza neanche sapere come? <Ehi, frena lì>, disse il dottore mentre agitava una mano davanti a sé. <Uh?> <Non so a cosa tu stia pensando, ma non fare quella faccia. Non ti sto cacciando, se il problema è questo> Normalmente Tony avrebbe risposto con una battuta, un sorriso accattivante e via, ma questa volta decise di essere onesto nel suo turbamento. <Ho fatto qualcosa di sbagliato?> Stephen si sorprese per quella domanda, in tutta onestà non si aspettava che l'altro fosse tormentato da un pensiero del genere. Era inaspettato e...tenero. Il suo sguardo si addolcì e l'espressione tesa si ammorbidì, la tensione nelle spalle cedette lievemente. <No, non hai fatto nulla> Non gli sfuggì il modo in cui Tony si rilassò nel sentire quelle parole. <Sono vicino a trovare un modo per liberarci da questi sogni, ma per verificarlo ho bisogno che tu lasci questa dimensione prima stanotte. Ho trovato un metodo per farti svegliare> <Grande, doc! Sapevo che ci saresti riuscito prima o poi> Tony sorrise e si alzò in piedi, fermandosi davanti all'altro. <Bene, quindi, cosa devo fare? Agitare le mani e creare un cerchio arancione come fai tu? Recitare uno strano canto antico mentre danzo intorno a un mucchietto di nuvole convincendomi che sia un fuoco?> L'angolo della bocca di Stephen si sollevò e una luce preoccupante gli animò gli occhi. Uh oh. <Niente di così complicato, Stark, anzi, qualcosa di così semplice che è strano che non ci abbia pensato prima, questo devo ammetterlo> Tony deglutì. Non si fidava, affatto. <E cosa sarebbe?> <Questo> Allungò una mano rapidamente e strinse tra le dita un punto del braccio del miliardario, stringendo così forte da fargli vedere le stelle, poco importa che fossero già tutto intorno a loro. Tony si lasciò sfuggire un gridolino in preda al dolore improvviso e proprio in quel momento poté sentire la sua coscienza assopirsi velocemente. <Un...pizzicotto?>, mormorò. L'ultima cosa che vide prima dell'oscurità fu il sorriso compiaciuto dello stregone e la sua mano che ondeggiava mentre lo salutava. <Bastardo...>

Poi si svegliò ed era nel cuore della notte. Per qualche motivo il braccio gli faceva male.

•~•~•~•

Tony seppe di aver aperto gli occhi solo ed esclusivamente per la leggerissima brezza fresca che glieli seccò quasi immediatamente. Li richiuse e poi li riaprì. Niente, solo buio. Per un minuto buono si chiese se fosse effettivamente nello stesso posto in cui andava a finire tutte le notti oppure no. Il respiro si bloccò al pensiero di essere finito da qualche parte tra le dimensioni. Se così fosse stato, Stephen lo avrebbe trovato? Dov'era Stephen? Si guardò intorno, o meglio, girò il capo, strizzando gli occhi per vedere qualcosa in quell'oscurità disarmante, solo per giungere alla conclusione di non riuscire a vedere niente di niente. Alzò lo sguardo verso quel cielo che fino a poche notti notti prima era pieno zeppo di stelle brillanti. Il sangue gli si gelò nelle vene quando i suoi occhi si posarono sul lieve bagliore di un'unica, minuscola stellina. Ora che ci pensava, all'inizio tutto l'ambiente era illuminato da raggi di sole dorati e rosati, come fossero immersi nella rinfrescante luce dell'alba. Poi col passare del tempo l'alba era diventata tramonto, poi sera e infine notte, ma la luna e le stelle avevano sempre riempito di una luce delicata le loro notti passate insieme. Ma quell'oscurità... Le stelle erano diminuite drasticamente negli ultimi giorni, ora poteva vederlo chiaramente nella sua memoria. Come aveva fatto a non accorgersene? Stephen lo aveva notato? Per quello era distratto e vagabondava? Perché non era lì? Un orribile pensiero gli invase la mente con inaudita prepotenza e ci mise radici. Gli è successo qualcosa? Un brivido gelido gli percorse la schiena mentre la preoccupazione e la paura divampavano e lambivano la sua anima, riempiendo la sua mente di fumo. Non riusciva a pensare chiaramente. Stephen era in pericolo? No, era lo Stregone Supremo per diamine! E se avesse avuto bisogno di aiuto? E se effettivamente fosse in pericolo? La sua armatura. Dov'era la sua armatura?! Non c'era. In sogno non si possono portare oggetti materiali. Era, per la prima volta dopo troppo tempo, davvero impotente. Non aveva la sua armatura, nessuna geniale invenzione a disposizione e né il materiale per crearne una. Aveva solo se stesso, la sua mente e i suoi pugni. E anche nessuna idea di dove iniziare per cercare Stephen. Per sua fortuna lo Stregone Supremo era tale perché meritevole del titolo e ci sarebbe voluto ben altro per metterlo fuori gioco. Così, animato dalle più nobili intenzioni, Stephen emerse dall'oscurità e poggiò una mano sulla spalla dell'altro. Tony fu pochi battiti lontano dall'avere un infarto quando una mano fredda e tremante gli afferrò la spalla da dietro. Sentì letteralmente la vita abbandonarlo in un soffio e si chiese se non fosse quella una delle tanto famose esperienze pre mortem. Quasi svenne. Invece si girò appena, con gli occhi così spalancati da fare male. Si sentì inondare dal sollievo vedendo i familiari occhi azzurri. Una sottile verga arancione brillava nell'altra mano dello stregone, illuminando dal basso entrambi i loro visi. <Sei in ritardo, Stark>, disse lo stregone con calma, come se non avesse appena rischiato di uccidere Tony nel sonno. Il miliardario deglutì e costrinse la sua voce a risultare rilassata, anche se probabilmente tutto il suo corpo gridava il contrario. <Sì be', ho un lavoro a tempo pieno, lo sai> Si guardò brevemente intorno e poi tornò a rivolgersi all'altro. <Quindi, uhm... Cosa è successo qui? Un guasto al quadro elettrico o...> <Sarebbe molto più facile se fosse così semplice, ma purtroppo non è così> <Cosa intendi?> <Quale vuoi sentire prima, la buona o la cattiva notizia?> <La buona> <Stiamo per liberarci da questi sogni e riacquistare il nostro sonno. O be', il tuo sonno più che altro. Non è che io dorma così tanto solitamente> <Bene, e la cattiva?> <Dobbiamo prima scovare e scacciare l'entità responsabile di tutto questo> Tony esitò, non essendo sicuro di volerlo davvero sapere. Ma la sua curiosità ebbe la meglio e domandò comunque. <...sarebbe?> Stephen lo guardò con preoccupazione. <Il Tapiro dei sogni, una creatura della mitologia orientale. Normalmente si nutre degli incubi delle persone, ma molto raramente può capitare che inizi a divorare i sogni, svuotando una persona da tutte le sue fantasie e aspirazioni. È un essere molto antico e per questo difficile da individuare, ma ho letto che dovrebbe mostrarsi alla fine, quando ha intenzione di passare ad un altro ospite> <Vuoi dire che...> <Esattamente. Le stelle sono quasi tutte scomparse, dopo quest'ultima il Tapiro avrà completato il suo pasto. Dovremo affrontarlo allora, anche se sarà al massimo della sua potenza. Non è una creatura di indole aggressiva, ma con così tanti sogni per sé potrebbe diventarlo> Tony ascoltò in silenzio e poi, quasi sussurrando, esprimette a parole la domanda che lo stava tormentando. <Cosa... Cosa succederebbe se riuscisse a scappare?> Stephen lo fissò per alcuni istanti, poi strinse la mano, ancora sulla sua spalla, in maniera rassicurante. <Non succederà. Lo prometto> Sorrise e Tony ci credette davvero. Oh quanto ci credette.

Fu solo in quel momento che notò un particolare interessante: Stephen stava volando. O meglio, fluttuando a poco meno di un piede da terra, proprio di fronte a lui. Si allontanò leggermente per avere una visione d'insieme dell'altro e non fu poi così sorpreso per quello che vide, stranamente. Lo stregone notò il suo sguardo e lasciò che i suoi piedi toccassero terra, slacciando il fermaglio che teneva chiuso alla base del collo. Subito la reliquia scattò verso Tony e l'uomo indietreggiò, preso alla sprovvista. <Stark, ti presento il Mantello della Levitazione. Saluta Levi> <Uh... Levi?> <Nome scontato, non è vero? Ho detto a Wong che non era adatto per una reliquia, ma lui non ne ha voluto sapere di cambiarlo> <Non è- Il mantello sta fluttuando!> Stephen lo guardò con incredulità. <Ed è la cosa che ti colpisce di più in questa situazione?> Tony non rispose, rimanendo in silenzio. Poi si passò una mano sul viso, ridacchiò e allungò un braccio verso il Mantello, che gli si avvolse felicemente attorno. <Hai un punto, doc. Ma in mia difesa posso dire che tutti gli oggetti animati che io abbia mai visto contenevano fili e processori, non magia> Uno strattone improvviso lo fece inciampare in avanti e Tony si aggrappò di riflesso alla prima cosa che gli passò sotto mano: le spalle di Stephen. I due rimasero immobili, fissandosi negli occhi per un tempo che sembrò infinito. Non erano mai stati tanti vicini. Il respiro dello stregone si fece sottile e gli occhi dell'altro si allargarono leggermente, mentre entrambi giungevano ad una realizzazione inevitabile. Solo un po', solo un pochino più in alto e Tony avrebbe potuto finalmente baciare quelle labbra. La presa delle sue dita sulle spalle dello stregone si strinse. Ci pensò il Mantello ad infrangere quel momento di tensione e desiderio, gettando i due uomini nell'imbarazzo totale e portandoli a scattare verso direzioni diverse, arrossiti in volto. O meglio, tentarono di scattare, ma della fine stoffa rossa era arrotolata attorno ai loro polsi ora giunti. Stephen, realizzando, rivolse un cipiglio alla reliquia, aprendo la bocca per rimproverarla, ma il Mantello li aveva separati per un motivo. Era un peccato, la reliquia aveva sperato che lo strattone avrebbe fatto di più, ma al momento c'era un problema più serio di cui occuparsi. Si agitò, lasciando i polsi e svolazzando dietro le spalle dello stregone. Quello si girò, guardando nel buio di quella notte senza stelle, e poi lo vide, il Tapiro. Incombeva su di loro con la sua ragguardevole stazza, conseguenza di ognuna delle stelle scomparse. La luce fioca dell'unica superstite ne rendeva visibili i contorni sfumati e Stephen si rese rapidamente conto di quanto fosse effettivamente vicino. Non si vedeva nulla, solo il profilo lucente di una folta pelliccia simile a nuvola e un paio di luminosi e sottili occhi color porpora. I due uomini capirono che si era mosso quando sentirono il sottile suono di una campanella in quel silenzio di tomba, per il resto la creatura non emetteva un solo rumore. Sembrava fatta d'ombra e fondersi con le tenebre, un vero incubo vivente. Non c'era luce che potesse rischiarare quella notte infinita. Il mantello tornò al suo posto sulle spalle dello stregone con un click del fermaglio, poi Stephen afferrò la mano dell'altro e si spostò di lato, mettendo tra loro e la creatura una giusta distanza. Tony non trovava le parole e rincorreva senza speranza i propri pensieri, mentre il peso quasi tangibile di quella presenza così antica e potente gli schiacciava la mente e l'anima. Era sinceramente terrorizzato, pietrificato dalla paura e dall'impotenza. Una vocina nella sua mente continuava a ricordargli che la sua armatura non sarebbe arrivata. Tentò di parlare, ma ne venne fuori un suono strozzato, mentre tutto quello che poteva fare era fissare quell'enorme sagoma dagli occhi di fiamme e tremare per l'aria gelida che li avvolse come una coperta. Costrinse le sue ginocchia a sostenerlo. In nessun modo si sarebbe abbandonato alla paura, men che meno in una situazione in cui non era il mondo a essere in pericolo. Per non parlare di Stephen; mai davanti a lui. Per fortuna, mentre lui tremava lo stregone sembrava essere ancora in possesso di tutte le sue facoltà. Si girò verso di lui e con espressione seria gli disse: <Tienila stretta e non lasciarla mai andare> Tony avrebbe chiesto cosa intendeva con quello, ma non ne ebbe il tempo, non quando il Mantello si strinse improvvisamente attorno alle sue spalle, sollevandolo in aria. Gridò per cercare di tornare giù, di stare accanto a Stephen e sostenerlo, ma senza successo. Vide che il dottore lo stava guardando, c'era tensione nel suo sguardo, ma anche speranza e soddisfazione. Sembrava contento. Ormai erano lì, la luce si faceva sempre più vicina ed intensa. Tony non aveva bisogno di alzare lo sguardo per vedere l'ultima stella sopra di lui. Preferiva guardare giù, verso quella distesa di nulla in cui gli occhi glaciali dello stregone brillavano di determinazione. Che sfortuna... Avrebbe voluto almeno stringergli le mani. Erano lì, c'erano, avrebbe potuto alzare una mano e l'avrebbe toccata, la luce. Proprio in quel momento vide Stephen muoversi e improvvisamente decine di cerchi luminosi comparvero tutto intorno a loro, vicini e vibranti di potenza. Tony capì perché il dottore aveva vagato così tanto in giro negli ultimi giorni, finalmente tutti i tasselli si unirono in posizione. L'immagine che ne ricavò fece contrarre il suo cuore per la tenerezza. Era lui, era sempre stato lui il primo pensiero del dottor Strange. Lui e come liberarlo dai suoi stessi sogni. Si era sempre preoccupato per Tony, uno sconosciuto. Sentì l'urgente bisogno di gridare qualcosa, qualsiasi cosa, ma l'altro lo batté sul tempo. <È stato un piacere, Stark, ma vedi di non tornare più qui, intesi?> I cerchi divennero più luminosi, la creatura emise un profondo e gutturale lamento. Tony non poté non sorridere, anche se il suo cuore piangeva e il petto era stretto in una morsa. <È Tony, non Stark>, gridò, cercando di sovrastare il rumore crescente. Stephen rise, per la prima volta rise davvero. Tony lo registrò immediatamente nella propria mente, pregando tutti gli dei esistenti di ricordarlo una volta sveglio. <Bene, Stark>, sorrise e il miliardario alzò gli occhi al cielo. <Spero che la prossima volta ci incontreremo in circostanze migliori> Si udì un tonfo e la creatura caricò, la furia ardeva nei suoi occhi. <Quando accadrà, accetteresti di uscire a cena con me?>, ora Tony stava gridando a pieni polmoni, in qualche modo si era alzato il vento e il suo ululato riempiva le orecchie. Giurò di aver visto Stephen sorridere. <Non te la caverai con così poco, sappilo> Sorrise anche lui. <Amo le sfide> Una barriera arancione quasi invisibile si materializzò tra lo stregone e il Tapiro quando questo vi andò a sbattere duramente contro. Cadde di lato barcollando e una nuvola di farfalle sostituì la barriera frantumata. <Stephen!>, Tony gridò, incurante del fatto che avesse effettivamente appena usato il nome dell'altro. Quello lo guardò sorpreso per un breve istante, poi fece un cenno col capo e il Mantello schizzò verso l'alto. La luce più bianca che avesse mai visto inghiottì Tony immediatamente e l'ultima cosa che vide fu un'intensa esplosione dorata, accompagnata da un grido ben distinto. <Alla prossima, Tony!>

L'uomo si svegliò di soprassalto quella notte. Non chiuse occhio. Non sognò più il dottore per molto, molto tempo, ma la stanchezza svanì e il sonno tornò ad essere pacifico, quindi si convinse che fosse andato tutto bene. Ci volle un po' perché iniziasse a crederci davvero. Cercò quell'uomo nella vita reale, ma di lui non c'erano più tracce, o almeno del suo vecchio lui. Scomparso nel nulla. Il nuovo non esisteva neanche. Per molto tempo sperò di addormentarsi e trovarsi di nuovo tra le nuvole, una voce profonda e un mantello rosso lì con lui. Non accadde mai.

Poi il mondo fu di nuovo minacciato e un uomo aprì un portale proprio accanto a lui, comparendo dal nulla. Purtroppo la cena avrebbe dovuto aspettare: le circostanze, sfortunatamente, non erano migliorate.

#marvel #marvel mcu #stephen strange #doctor strange #tony stark #tony x stephen #ironstrange #pre-avengers infinity war