#still. formulating thoughts

[ex-textura]

Something about Gale replying to a Durge who says "I've killed so many people, you should just end me" with "That's capitulation, not a solution. We'll search for less drastic means." Gale, who is still considering using the orb to destroy the absolute, as demanded by Mystra. Gale who argues that he'd be dying for a good cause. Telling his Durge love that they can't give up and he'll help them find another way.

Two people trying to die for the greater good, and trying to stop each other from doing the same...

#still processing that scene #still. formulating thoughts #but i'm climbing the walls when i should be sleeping #they make me want to bite #i'm just #asdlkfjjhsfkj #bg3 #gale dekarios #the dark urge #gale/durge #what is tag consistency anyway #obviously this is about #ciaran finch #my beloved

[dailykafka]

— April 7, 1914 / Franz Kafka diaries

#i wanted to post this because its still a dated diary entry and shows thar #kafka intended to write but didn't #also bc i thought it was funny lol #also idk if i did the alt text right in this case so if it can be formulated better pls do tell😅 #April 7 #april #1914 #franz kafka #daily kafka #franz kafka diaries #quotes #alt text

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though #it often takes me a long time to write that response #my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly #I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times #I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory #so I keep putting off reblogging gift art #because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give #maybe that sounds dumb and fake #but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that #often weeks sometimes months even #and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed #I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time #not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person #so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet #please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess #and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you #feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot #and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it #because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond #thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it #sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot #because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness #I'm trying to work on that #answered #anonymous

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hey, I was just wondering - do you have an AO3? I see you referencing some fics/aus but I don't see a link or anything on your page lol. Love the art btw!! I'm living for the fantasy au rn.

Yes! but its all DC at the moment </3

#all my other writings are either wips #or just snippets - you can find the link to those that ive posted in my pinned post #Those are all wh so far! #i mean. au stuff! #i might post a bit of fantasy au in a minute - i got some Graphic Major Injury writings!!! yippee!!! #rambles from the bog #also theres some... Complicated stuff going on w/ the site right now that i dont have the energy to get into #especially since im still Researching reading and formulating thoughts so i have no basis to speak as of now #but suffice to say i Will be posting writings to tumblr 100% #im side-eyeing ao3 atm but making no moves either way #its not like i have any full fics to post right now anyway!

[katrinasis]

biggest faith pet peeve is when people make father garcia too mean. like the potrayal i see sometimes of Guy Who Literally Just Cares About Fighting Demons And Nothing Else doesn’t sit with me i dunno it feels off. also i don’t think he would have actually shot john

#presumably garcia still shows up in the ending where john gets seconded deathed. i wonder if he would have shot him then #it’s late and i can’t formulate any meaningful thoughts abt this rn get back to me later #father garcia #faith the unholy trinity #yells at cloud

[nyxronomicon]

Who is brave enough to send me thirsts on this thirsty Tuesday?

#i crave dirty thoughts... #just been really into DILF Lucifer lately... in a totally normal way... #but also the nb spoilers floating around got me thinking about yandere Diavolo again #and of course still trying to formulate hsr thirsts in my brain but i don't feel like i know them well enough #but my brain is still rotating Jing Yuan and Blade anyway bc they're so hot...

[capcavan]

obsessed with the concept of who jean used to be as a person who he had became at the nest and then his hope to find himself again after he is out of there just to realise that after what he survived there is no going back to who he was in the past he was strong confident and charismatic but now his personality is laced with fear and lack of trust, doubts that wouldn't have been there before follow him on every step he thought he can just forget, go to therapy for few months get some meds and be himself again, instead it's time to mourn the person he used to be and finally let go of all the self imposed expectations slowly pick parts he wants to keep and parts he needs to remove yet again he has to be something new after they meet few years down the line Kevin can not recognize him, jean is strange hybrid of past and present, person kevin never got to meet still trying to claw its way from the hole the nest put him in the hard choice is deciding if they need to let go of each other or see if they can get to know each other once more, with risk that they wont like what is here now. Kevin said that he can't have jean on his team because of shared truma, truly he was just scared that without outside pressure they will drift apart and then seeing him every day in fox tower woudl be painful because kevin can't let go.

#jean moreau #kevin day #aftg #kevjean #jeankev #i have thoughts and still do not know how to formulate them bear with me

[heyclickadee]

There’s one sense in which the bad batch had a little more control over their lives than clones sometimes had. They didn’t have a jedi general, they had their own ship, they were allowed special accommodations like their barracks and their armor, and they were given an enormous amount of leeway in how they fulfilled their missions.

In another sense, though, there’s a way in which they had a lot less. And just to be clear, I’m not trying to make an argument about who had it worse. None of the clones has ever had much agency in their lives. None of them were ever afforded the decency of being considered people. None of them really had the option to do anything but be soldiers conditioned to fight and die for a cause they didn’t choose, not without putting other clones in danger (like Slick) or risking court martial (like Cut). Things are bad for all of them. Mostly I’m looking at how the bad batch’s perception of their own experience could change depending on the angle at which they’re looking at it.

Because yes, they were given more leeway in certain ways, but in that other way? Not only were they not given the choice as to whether or not to be soldiers, they were not given the choice as to what kind of soldiers they wanted to be.

Wrecker, for example, is incredibly smart. Not just in the sense that he’s emotionally intelligent, but he’s also a skilled mechanic, weapons specialist, and demolitions expert. This is a guy who built a handheld laser canon out of scraps while getting shot at, and it took him, what—fifteen seconds? But due to the accident of the way he popped out and the way the Kaminoans took advantage of that, because he’s just so much bigger and stronger than everyone else, he was never given the option to be anything but the designated muscle. I think the weapons and demolitions stuff is something he picked up over time because he likes it, but he didn’t have the option to be the team’s technician the way that Tech is. And Tech—Tech is the second strongest guy on the team. He’s strong, extremely athletic, and he’s got a wild pain tolerance. But because of the accident of how he came out, he was never given the option of becoming the hand-to-hand specialist Hunter is, and certainly not the tank that Wrecker is. (I’m still forming my thoughts on Hunter and Echo, but there’s no way anyone else on the team besides the guy with magnified senses would be allowed to be the team tracker, and Echo’s situation is a little different. And before joining the batch and leaving Kamino, Omega never had any agency in her life at all.)

And then Crosshair. This is something we don’t talk about in the fandom all that much, but Crosshair’s a genius. He’s as stone cold brilliant as anyone else on the team, if not more so, in his own way. The thing that makes him such a good sniper isn’t just that he’s got good eyes and steady hands, it’s also his ability to do the math and calculate angles and timing to an incredible level of precision. And, based on what we see in “Reunion,” “Return to Kamino,” and even “The Solitary Clone,” he’s got a good head for strategy and some decently solid, on the ground, battlefield leadership skills (even if he wasn’t technically in charge during that last one). He could make a decently good field commander. But, again, because of the way he popped out of the tube, he wasn’t given the option to be the analyst guy or the leader, he was the sniper. And that’s it.

Every one of them has the capacity to be good at other things. Every one of them is good at other things. But at the start they roll out like your prototypical late 80’s/early 90’s action cartoon hero team because those are the roles they were forced into since getting decanted. But when they look at their experience as part of the GAR, I think they probably look at the other part of that experience where they were given some leeway that other clones didn’t always have, and it makes it difficult for them to see how completely controlled their lives have always been.

#the bad batch #Hunter bad batch #wrecker bad batch #tech bad batch #crosshair bad batch #echo bad batch #if you squint #I’m still formulating my thoughts on how this worked for him #because on the one hand he chose to join the batch #but on the other hand the need to make that choice was forced on him by the techno union

[ninetimesbluedemo]

something about frankenstein's monster and the monkees.... being abandonned and abused by their creators.... shunned from society... hmmm

#still formulating thoughts but would love contributions<333 #the monkees #frankenstein

[etre-grantaire]

so please forgive me for just oscillating the Close-Foster-Freeman-Swift family in my brain but in my defence it’s the Wong’s world and we’re just living in it

and i just finished the episode so my thoughts are not in order but i feel like there is something about how the last time that taylor was around nick it was right after the fbi and right after link essentially sacrificed himself for taylor and nick, and nick told taylor that his friends would betray him and not to trust them and taylor rejected that wholesale i think primarily because he had seen how far link would go to protect his friends

and now link has essentially betrayed taylor and normal by siding with scary, and the fact that nick is also there watching? it’s just getting to me

the fact that nick is watching the son of one of the friends who betrayed him because of their disagreements over the doodler do the same thing to his son

taylor seeing the friend that he essentially chose over his father (bc nick told him that if the other teens betrayed him it could end up being dangerous for their family but taylor went back for him anyway) choose someone else over him?

and the foreshadowing of taylor lamenting that link abandoned him and link basically saying i didn’t leave you I’m just here with scary

I may have something more coherent about this soon but on top of the themes of identity and confusion that haunts this family there is also just this ongoing theme of betrayal

#and i guess it’s on a smaller scale but the other daddies endangering glenn and nick during the battle of the bands so they had to run away #and then accusing glenn? #like compared to ‘shooting your arm off’ it’s definitely on a lower scale but it still shows kind of an ongoing theme #of not being able to trust your friends or let your guard down #maybe i will actually formulate some thoughts about this in a structured sense #or maybe I’ll just continue to scream into the void #dndads spoilers #dungeons and daddies spoilers #dndads s2 #dndads s2 spoilers #taylor swift #taylor swift dndads #dndads #dungeons and daddies

[forcedhesitation]

stop fucking flirting with me, you rancid little man

#bg3 #thoughts about media #never had this dialogue before. durge exclusive or...?? #either way- I'm lying astarion. please keep talking about murder. it does something for me personally. #also LMAO at him “hiding” his vampirism. baby I can SEE your fangs and bite mark. you aren't hiding shit. #imagining him asking corydalis this and corydalis having to explain that decapitating him would be difficult due to his scaly skin. #with the parasite- his abilities are weakened and thus he can actually be poisoned whereas normally he is immune. #he'd admit he's always been curious what it's like to be poisoned lol. #you know. despite only having fully beat the game once- I have nearly 500 hrs in bg3. #I've half finished many campaigns. and now. when I must begin an adventure with no corydalis to return to... #...well it hurts. it is not the same without him...I will forever treasure him and experiencing the story alongside him. #this new character is a durge. aaaanother tiefling because I enjoy them. he isn't Actually the durge lorewise though. #I had my own story already formulated for him. even before I made him in game. I think I still want to keep him a bhaalspawn though. #if not bhaal- he'll be tied to myrkul. since corydalis has existing beef with myrkul. #he's got body type 1 instead of 2 and goodness it is SO strange to Look Up To the gents. like what do you MEAN they are TALL?! #astarion is like a little mouse. he is not supposed to be tall! wyll has transmasculine short king allure. he is not supposed to be tall! #gale can be a LITTLE tall. I guess. but he's such a sopping wet cat of a man. I can hardly imagine him being THAT tall. #none of them are taller than corydalis! bar halsin and karlach of course.

[beheadinggame]

Actually now that I think about it, looking at this from the perspective of the traditional Irish myths of the loathly lady turned sovereignty goddess...since Gawain is the one actually bestowing the sovereignty onto Ragnell does that mean he is the goddess???? Incredible

#Gawain gender theories #Please ignore me I'm insane #This is only a half formulated thought and I KNOW that this is not how the tradition is meant to be read but what if I do anyway #Like technically Ragnell is still the one bestowing rightful ownership of the land onto Gawain but consider #This

[apopcornkernel]

im sweating. i turn on the fan. im still sweating. i drink water. still sweating. i take a shower. one step out of the bathroom, and im sweating again. i turn on the fan. sweating. it's literally evening. still sweating. aircon. still sweating. half bath. sweating. sweating. sweating. sweating

#ITS SUMMER IN THE PHILIPPINES AND I STILL HAVE CLASSES. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EVEN FORMULATE A THOUGHT IN THIS HEAT #phposting #poppy speaks

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

what the hell is happening on this site some asks are Completely gone from my desktop inbox, but on mobile they're there???? mf i just spent ten minutes trying to find asks i was SURE i had received

#it was like Oh Fuck Have I Already Answered These???? #starting to think that my memory is Worse than i thought #i still feel like one or two are missing... #i combed my archive and they arent there either #i Realized Something Was Off because some of them gave me the perfect set up for one of my favorite bits!! #now im very worried that some asks people have sent are just. gone. #maybe it was a reply...? i dont know.... #oh to have a brain that Functions #cant remember jack shit!! #absolutely unprompted #im trying to answer some non-art asks #since i'm not sure if i'll scribble much of anything tonight #too much happened! vaccumed! readjusted my room after the Cleaning! watched a show with a good friend! played with cats! killed a spider! #formulated a response to a response! ate a salad! showered! #see: too much happened and now its almost 4 am #plus i just dont know if im feelin scribbly tonight #which happens it Happens #if i spend too much energy i simply don't have it in me anymore #tomorrow! tomorrow i will doodle! #i will do more laughingstock and make some ask responses and also draw more greaser au for my Friend <3 #unless something happens and i run out of energy again. ill try to be careful about it

[awkwardtickleetoo]

Wake up brain strikes again, I'm thinking this playfulness would be Ler!Sapnap and lee!George. "If you can catch me, I'll tickle you" reverse chase! The lee chases the ler around and if the ler is caught then the lee gets any kind of tickles they want

okay, FIRST of all, I just wanna say that this has been sitting in my inbox since probably the last week of november/first week of december,,,,,, and for that, i am sorry, I really wish it didn't take this long to answer, BUT. better late than never, or whatever wise people say

second of all, I went... a liiiiiitle bit overboard with this one, but I feel like the length makes uo for the wait, possibly? that's for you to decide

but THIRD of all, YES SLEEPY YES YES ABSOLUTELY YES

im thinking is something along the lines of this:

george is in a pretty severe lee mood, but he flat out Refuses to admit it, so he finds sap in the movie room and starts provoking and bothering him to try and get him to retaliate and wreck him

sap catches on pretty quickly (it doesn't take long for him to figure out, he knows george's tells like the back of his own hand, plus hes not exactly subtle) and goes "okay. I know what you want, so I'm gonna make you a deal. I'm gonna run around the house, and if you can catch me, I'll tickle you in ANY way you want. deal?" pretty much exactly like you said!!

and obviously, george denies AGGRESSIVELY at first, and his cheeks turn pink at the PROSPECT of being lee and wanting tickles, because how DARE sapnap accuse him of something like that!! he is NOT lee, he does NOT want tickles, sapnap can shut his MOUTH, thank you very much—

.....but eventually, after sap is just Staring at him in silence waiting for him to crack, he giggles a little and goes "wh- uh... you- you said any kind I want?" and sap just goes "mhm :) anything you want. does that mean you're in?" and george just nods, very slowly, and sapnap goes "awesome! seeya, slowpoke!" and skitters his nails over George's tummy before SPRINTING out of the room and leaving George to squirm and sputter out a protest and scramble to run after him as he darts out of the movie room they were sitting in

and honestly I feel like George would like... kinda get lost in the game a tiny bit? not fully, he is still Extremely hooked on the idea of getting his tickles, but it would kinda slip his mind what exactly would happen when he catches sap, simply because he gets so lost in the act of actually chasing and catching him

so, when he manages to skip the top step of the staircase and grab sapnap's arm, successfully pushing him against the doorframe of george's own bedroom, he just giggles his heart out because he won!! he caught sap!! he did it!!!

until sapnap goes "okay!! you caught me, georgie, good job!!! how do you want your tickles?" and hes just like "oh 😳 right 😳 that's what's happening....."

and he would just keep giggling in that little flustered and squeaky way he always does as he squirms where he's standing, and he's like "I, uh... I didn't really– I haven't really thought about it yet..." and sap reaches forward and puts his hands on George's waist and goes "That's okay :) I can wait :) i have time"

and george's brain nearly short circuits, and he realizes he has to actually come up with something and then actually ASK for it out loud before sap does it, because sap can't read his mind!! but eventually he's able to get out "can you– do you think– can you maybe, like..." as he tries to ask for what he wants but gets caught up in his own brain

but, to take a break from the teasing and be a lil sweetheart for a bit, i feel like sap would hug him as he stutters through his words to encourage him as well :( he pulls George in by his waist, wraps his arms around him, presses his cheek to George's collarbone, holds him close and goes "anything you want, anything my gogy asks for, okay? whatever comes to mind"

and after some more whines and stutters and broken giggles and other noises, george works up the courage he needs to say “so, y-you know that... that claw thing you do to my– uh… like, my ribs? yeah i… i-id like that" and then he follows it up with "and- and maybe also, if you want, just like... some raspberries maybe? a few, or something like that"

and sapnap would pull back from the hug, smirk at george, and suddenly drop down to his knees and push george's shirt up to blow the BIGGEST raspberry on his tummy, and george is so caught off guard that he squeals and nearly crumbles right then and there

so sap does a few more until one well-placed raspberry right above his hipbone makes him go a little limp, and then suddenly sapnap lifts him up over his shoulder and brings him over to the bed, plops him on it, and straddles him to suddenly do little jellyfish and claws scratchies on his ribs :)

and george is just so giddy and giggly and happy and squirmy and wiggly the whole time!!! because!!! this is exactly what he asked for!!! sapnap KNOWS exactly what he likes!!! it's playful its fun it tickles its GOOD!!

and his little tickly hands are shaking around, going a mile a minute, and his smile is so big and he's already breathless from the running and the raspberries and the laughter and being thrown around so much and!!!!! he's just. so HAPPY!!! and sapnap thinks he's so god damn cute too, and he just can't stop tickling, and he knows george doesn't want it to stop either, so they're both just giggling together while george squirms underneath sap and glances up at him with the biggest, sweetest, tear-filled heart eyes sapnap has ever seen in his life when he's not squeezing them shut or shaking his head through his laughter :((( he's just the cutest little angel isn't he :(

#this is perfect sleepy thank you :) #again i am so so sorry this has taken like. literal actual MONTHS for me to get to #i hope nothing like that ever happens again at least not to this extent #but this is still soooo good i love thus concept so much #also special shoutout mush for letting me rant at them about this in order to formulate my thoughts more clearly <3 #youre the best mi gatito <3 #fav #lee!george #ler!sapnap #concepts / ideas #sleepy anon

[arowrath]

watching a video thats like "i read 3 dark romances and im reporting the authors to the police" or whatever and i was thinking like What would i want from a book labelled as a dark romance bc its Not what these authors have come up with and after some thinking ive realized i dont think i would want the romance part which seems to be an important aspect of the genre "dark romance". please read my url for more context for this opinion as well

#text #like i just dont think the romance aspect is compelling at all. What if it was a character study #i would read a dark character study. fuck 'dark romance's though #(<- at least most of the ones i know from like....... tiktok back whn i still used it) #im still formulating my thoughts but i find it really funny that my problem with the genre is the main aspect and draw of the genre