#still a vast improvement on what we originally had of these

[uwuttaker]

jodie whittaker photographed by joseph sinclair (2023)

#jodie whittaker #fun fact they were watermarked so i removed them #BY HAND #and you can tell its not perfect #but i don't really trust using those sites that do it so #still a vast improvement on what we originally had of these

[st-hedge]

I said a while ago that for totk’s one anniversary I would write a weird little review of the game in which I throw roses at it while simultaneously slandering it. So I made an attempt which is very abbreviated

Disclaimer: I’m not telling u how u should feel about totk or what’s the right way to feel about it, I’m just trying to make sense of why the game frustrates me and putting it into words. It’s completely fine if u disagree with me, I’m not pitching an argument but just putting words on paper

Totk is one of the best games I’ve ever had the opportunity to play. The mechanics, the music, the designs, the revised world of hyrule, makes me want to curl up on the floor and cry. It is stunning and done with so much love. Where botw had lacked, totk has improved and gone above and beyond. It had frustrated me that botw only allowed us to explore the ground surface, but botw was an exploration into open world games which allowed for totk to happen. The caves, the boats, the islands, and the depths add so much to already such a vast world. I only wish there was also diving but beggars can’t be choosers beh

Although it still doesn’t make too much sense to me why all weapons are suddenly corrupted, I do love the new weapons system. I love how it gives more variety to explore. Materials which previously sat unused in the inventory are now key and nothing feels like a waste to collect. Even rupees have found another use. I’m not the biggest fan of the zonai devices but the addition feels like a love letter to the creativity of the fan base and it feels at place. They help to traverse an otherwise huge and intimidating world. But at times I feel like they give too much leverage and break down too many boundaries and leave little to solve and explore. What im basically saying is fuck the rockets.

I feel that totk doesn’t have enough progress boundaries that make u pause and explore what u have at hand. I found myself just pushing and pushing, forgetting and leaving behind areas I barely touched. It felt too easy getting into the sky and returning to the islands and they lost some of their mystery to me. I think this would have been a great opportunity to reintroduce the loftwings from skyward sword. I’ve talked before about how much this would make sense for totk. The loftwings could be a means to cross boundaries and explore new territories, but it takes time to catch and tame one as a companion. But like horses they should have their limits, presenting new boundaries u need to overcome again

Where the totk’s hyrule begins to confuse and disappoint me goes hand in hand with my main issue (confusion?) with the game. Although botw felt incomplete (the world was a little sparse and one dimensional), the story was comprehensive and clear. Meanwhile, totk has a complete and lively world but it doesn’t have a story to carry

Totk’s story doesn’t have an identity I can grasp and understand. It’s like it doesn’t know what it wants to tell the player, what story it wants to direct them to. On one hand, it seems to want us to know about the origins of hyrule and the mysterious landmarks and characters that are permanent fixtures in this world (castle, ruins, dragons) but at the same time it suddenly wants to do a retelling of OoT and about the sages and these secret stones. But the game never completes any of these stories. Maybe it wants to tell us these stories through the environment, but there is just not enough embedded into the world to grasp and tie together into a narrative. Which is ironic considering how big the world is

We begin to be told the story of the dragons, we suddenly understand how they came to be (the secret stones). But we are never told about the events of their creation (an act of desperation, like Zelda’s) and we are never close to understanding them. Then we are told about the sages, but meeting them tells us nothing new. No new cutscenes, no new items or lore directly related to them. The new sages are found, but didn’t we just discover the divine beasts with them? Suddenly another layer of importance is added to them which makes the ties between legacy and the current sages muddier. I wish there had been focus on them creating their own legacy instead

I think totk could’ve had a very interesting story to tell if it chose what it wants to focus on. Maybe the secret stones were introduced just as a way for Zelda to become a dragon? I dunno

There are so many new places that feel like fantastic opportunities for moments of pause and to uncover lore, unearth memories. But instead they’re brisk puzzles or empty sites. Like the graveyard underneath the desert, the forge islands, the factories, and the fucking poe statues. Tell me as much as u want that I can’t read environmental story telling, but I’ll just keep saying there’s nothing to read into cuz the game doesn’t know what it wants to say. There’s no thread to follow in the way there was with, for example, the graveyard at the spirit temple in OoT. We could’ve been just left with a strange well and a graveyard and told to figure it out, but a thread is laid down that these are the skeletons in the royal family’s closet.

Totk does have amazing moments, like Zelda meeting her ancestors and giving up her identity to become a living legend to revive the master sword, the discovery of the ancient temples, the story of the zonai and their origins. But these are just pieces with many loose ends around them that go nowhere. Even Ganon is left as a loose end where there was so much opportunity to say something worth saying. He seems comically evil with bogstandard bah I want to rule the world lines. If u want to make a case for evil for the sake of evil, u can at least show me a character repeatedly making horrible choices which lead them to the current predicament. Just like totk’s hyrule, he is lovingly designed but he tells absolutely no story

If the reason behind the lack of story is that the devs/writers wanted us to make our own story out of this, then I think this is a case where it was a poor choice. The fans can make theories, hcs, pick up pieces and make AUs, but we also love the stories told by the games and it’s what inspires us to uncover more stories (hey wanna talk about tp and why we hear Malon’s song at night, or what’s up with the empty desert)

I’d love to see totk from the perspective of someone who had never played or known botw. Did it really help to remove any traces of sheikah tech besides the labs and the guardian limbs in the towers. Although the zonai devices and the sheikah tech are from different time periods, totk was a perfect opportunity to marry the two elements together. The shrines and the divine beasts could’ve collapsed into the depths, but instead they have just vanished like erased history

Totk’s story doesn’t have an identity in the same way botw’s does. Even though botw’s hyrule was much smaller and emptier, we found stories there cuz we knew what that game was trying to tell us. If totk is about making sacrifices, then this message feels obsolete by the end. U should make sacrifices, but u will only be happy again if it all goes back to exactly how it was before

As happy and sweet the ending is, it made all the worry and sadness I felt seem pointless cuz of course everything would reset back to the norm cuz how else would this game have a happy ending. What was there to worry about. Yeah so what that Zelda became a dragon losing herself, she was just asleep the entire time and effortlessly she becomes her normal self. So what that link lost his sword arm, of course he would miraculously get it back even though it took him 100 years to recover from a mortal wound. No trace of the things they withstood and lost, no mark, nothing.

I loved the final battle and spectacle of the dragons struggling against each other in the sky. The battle went from the deepest depths to the highest reaches of the sky and I thought it was perfect. But once again how the story concluded and the logic behind it me made me feel like I was chewing on sand and the idyllic ending just made me look about in confusion

TLDR; totk is an amazing game with a stunning world that lacks a comprehensive story to tell

I hoped that I would get a better understanding why I’m so frustrated by totk, but instead I just feel even more confused by it and I think that’s just how I’ll have to leave it

#I disabled rebolgs so this doesn’t leave the target audience #I became progressively drunk as I wrote this

[butterflydm]

restructuring the wheel of time into ten books

So a little while ago, there was a poll about people's favored choice for how many books should have been in WoT -- I voted for 'ten' and this is, I guess, my argument for a ten book series.

Books 1-5, I don’t really have any notes on when it comes to structure. Every book is complete in and of itself. While books 2 & 3 do have something of a repetitive structure, I think that works better in a book series than in a tv series.

The only suggestions that I would have structurally would be minor things like “tweak Rand’s power levels in the early books to keep him more in line with what he does later” (aka what the show is doing, lol) and maybe not having Ishamael present during the Battle of Falme and having that purely against the Seanchan, so that we don’t have super similar climaxes for Rand two books in a row (Rand could get his wound in Tear instead). And those are the sorts of things that I think it might be likely that Jordan would have done if he’d known exactly how long the series would end up being -- ex. he clearly backed down on Rand’s power jump when he realized that the series would be going for longer than he’d originally planned.

One minor plot change that I would do is put Perrin feeling Rand tug at him as the epilogue of TFOH or thereabouts. Just a little hint of Perrin in there, showing that he'll have a bigger role in the next book.

Book 6, though... I have some thoughts there.

Lord of Chaos/A Crown of Swords: this is the first book where the beginning really takes some time getting off the ground -- there are several Salidar chapters that could have been combined. This is really the first place in the books where characters hang around doing nothing (we're told more than once in Elayne & Nynaeve's PoV that they're barely being taught anything and that being there feels pointless), waiting for it to be time to actually Do Some Plot (the big Healing of severing) and it's just the beginning of a bad trend.

The other structural change that I would suggest is not doing the weird feint with Mat's character where he starts off doing a "Rand's general" storyline and then creakily transitions over to Salidar instead. Since Mat isn't actually going to Illian, he doesn't need to be marching south. He could just still be in Cairhien/Caemlyn and have Rand take him to Salidar from there. As it is, we end up spending several chapters on a storyline that gets abruptly terminated part of the way through the book so that Mat can do a completely different storyline instead and that really pads out the pages unnecessarily (this was a really bad trend that happened with Mat's character in particular more than once in the books; his storylines would just stop in their tracks and get shifted to something else entirely and never go back to his original storyline; ex. we literally never find out why/what the murdered caravan of Tuatha'an had to do with anything, because Mat never bothers to tell Rand their message because he spends the entire rest of the book series doing completely unrelated things and only ever sees Rand again for a brief conversation that is dominated by everyone catering to his slaver wife -- we never get payoff for the vast majority of Mat's storylines, even the minor threads). It really does feel like Jordan started writing the book, then went "oh shit, Mat needs to meet & marry the DotNM" and just abruptly changed Mat's story to yeet him to Ebou Dar without actually rewriting the earlier bits in the book.

Outside of that, the main change I would suggest being made in these books is improving Min’s characterization and Min and Rand’s relationship by NOT having Min change herself for Rand. Let Rand fall in love with Min as she is, not the dolled-up version of Min that she invents for Rand’s benefit (there are other characterization tweaks I would recommend as well, but Min is kinda the biggest issue imo).

The main ‘story arc’ for Rand that's set up in LoC is ‘defeating Sammael’ and it should take place over the course of a single book, not two separate books. Parts of ACoS would be saved for the next book but the Illian climax should happen in the same book that the story starts. I would title this book “A Crown of Swords” so that the focus is on Rand’s story, not the Forsakens' (and part of the oddness here is definitely due to Jordan changing his mind about doing the Taim-Demandred combo, so he sets up something that ends up going nowhere).

Inciting incidents:

Egwene is summoned to Salidar leading to Rand sending Mat there as well

Min arrives in Caemlyn, leading to The Box Incident

Turning point:

After the Box incident, Perrin and Rand stage a fight so that Perrin can go find Masema

Egwene sends Elayne, Nynaeve, Mat & co to Ebou Dar to look for the Bowl of the Winds and they actually take advantage of Mat being ta’veren right away instead of waiting around for a month (all the delays in Mat's various storylines had a knock-on effect in delaying everyone else's storylines, imo -- the Slog happens because everyone is waiting on Mat, whether they know it or not)

Climax:

Rand defeats Sammael

The attack of the Seanchan on Ebou Dar begins

A Crown of Swords/The Path of Daggers/Winter’s Heart: The Path of Daggers only needs some of trimming imo. Once that trimming is done, I think Elayne’s section of the prologue of WH could slid into it fairly neatly as a bit of an ‘upbeat’ epilogue, which would be a contrast to the darkness of Rand’s ending in the previous book and his defeat here when he tries to repel the Seanchan from Ebou Dar.

Also have Mat interact with Tuon throughout this book, essentially like he did in WH (Mat's interactions with Tuon in WH make sense with his previous characterization; it's in CoT & KoD when Jordan had him completely reverse on his moral outlook on slavery so that he would be willing to make out with a slaver - genuinely, how Mat goes from sympathizing with slaves in WH to sympathizing with slavers in CoT remains one of the most baffling writing choices that I've ever run across; especially with how limp and one-sided it made everything about Mat & Tuon feel in those books for me, because Jordan drained all the potential interesting conflict out of the pairing so that he could focus on Mat navel-gazing about his self-inflicted prophecy woes, making him just Min 2.0. *sigh*). This book I would choose to be named “The Path of Daggers” out of the available options.

Inciting incidents:

Elayne & Nynaeve use the Bowl of the Winds as Ebou Dar is invaded by the Seanchan and Mat gets left behind during the escape

Perrin & co find Masema, etc.

Egwene uses the rule of law to take control of the Salidar Aes Sedai

Turning point:

Mat first meets Tuon -- maybe give Mat & Tylin’s first meeting to Mat & Tuon instead, where he accidentally greets her using the Old Tongue, thus sparking her interest (cut out Mat & Tylin’s ‘relationship’ entirely, it was zero percent needed and is needed even less if Tuon arrives in the first wave of the attack, as I'm suggesting here)

Rand learns about the invasion by the Seanchan and goes campaigning

Egwene & the Aes Sedai jump to Tar Valon and begin their siege (since they no longer need to kill time to let Mat's plotline happen)

Climax:

Rand fails to defeat the Seanchan & gets attacked in the Sun Palace but kills the attackers here instead of us needing the Far Madding detour (which just felt like a less emotionally-impactful version of The Box to me and Jordan giving in to his desire to write a travelogue)

Faile learns Masema is dealing with the Seanchan and kills him, cutting off that entire path of slog by not getting kidnapped (we really only need one kidnapped wife imo)

Mat escapes Ebou Dar, kidnapping Tuon along the way (there's our allotted Kidnapped Wife)

Egwene is captured by the White Tower Aes Sedai when the rebels block off the harbors to Tar Valon

Winter’s Heart/Crossroads of Twilight/Knife of Dreams: All three of these books would have greatly benefited from being massively cut down to a single volume. This one also has a touch of TGS in it, mostly because Egwene had a lot more story left after KoD than pretty much any other character except maybe Mat.

Specific items to change or cut:

Cut out Far Madding entirely (Rand killed the attackers in Cairhien). Since Tuon arrived with the initial Seanchan invasion fleet in Ebou Dar, Nynaeve can be honest with Rand about Mat being left behind but Rand can see (in his color swirl vision) that Mat is no longer in Ebou Dar and has already escaped, filling that plot hole (the list of contrivances to keep Rand from knowing what happened to Mat frustrated and annoyed me so much when I was reading books WH-KoD).

Have the love confessions and Rand sleeping with Elayne, but don’t do the bonding yet. Have Rand leave Min behind in Caemlyn when he takes Nynaeve off to do the cleansing, so she can (emotionally) bond with Elayne & Aviendha. Since Min was just at ground zero for a terrible attack that was focused on Rand (which should, to Rand, prove his fears about being a danger to the people he loves to be correct!), it really is so bizarre that he keeps backpacking her around to dangerous place (Far Madding) after dangerous place (the Cleansing) after dangerous place (parlay with the Seanchan) and mostly shows that Jordan a) just had no more plot beats for Min until she played pregnancy test for Tuon in the epilogue and b) primarily saw Min as Rand’s Hero Reward rather than a character in her own right. But the whole affair mostly just undermined Rand’s character journey for me (he's so isolated! ...except for his live-in girlfriend).

Don’t do the Shaido plotline at all (have the Shaido scatter back to the Waste post-Dumai’s Wells); instead this should be where Perrin starts his wolf boot camp, so that he actually has a more appropriate amount of time for training before the Last Battle (and his emotional storyline would be a conflict with Faile over her killing Masema). I guess you can do the Whitecloaks storyline here.

Have Mat be the one to make a treaty with the Seanchan, and have Semirhage order the ‘airfleet’ against the White Tower instead of Tuon doing it. Instead of Mat accidentally giving himself away for nothing, have the Mat-Tuon marriage as part of the deal to seal the treaty, since Mat has figured out that she believes that he needs to be her husband, per prophecy, so he uses that to actually get concessions out of her. Because we aren’t trying to convince the readers that Mat is the sort of person who is capable of falling in love with a slaver in the space of a single month, we don’t need to spend two whole books wandering the Altaran countryside doing random shit and instead can get to the politics of it all. Let Mat actually continue to be smart and empathetic in this section of the storyline, rather than lopping off those parts of him and turning him into a zombie bootlicker yes-man. You can still layer in elements of Mat seeing potential in Tuon to be more than just a slaver, just don't have him toss his entire brain & morals away in order to kiss her ass.

Out of the available titles here, I think “Knife of Dreams” is the best one.

Inciting incidents:

Egwene undermines Elaida from within the Tower

Perrin starts Wolf Boot Camp

Rand & Nynaeve cleanse saidin

Turning Point:

Rand faces off against Semirhage and captures her

Egwene finds out from Verin about the extent of the Black Ajah in the White Tower

Aviendha leaves to go to Rhuidean to become a WO

Mat finds out that sul'dam (and thus Tuon) can channel and actually uses it as a negotiation tactic against her, please let this man use his brain during literally any of his conversations with Tuon, I am begging you. The way he reacts in the books to finding out that Tuon is a sul'dam and then that Tuon can channel is SO FUCKING BIZARRE. He just Does Not Care about slavery at all in CoT & KoD and is all Me Me Me about all of the Tuon revelations. In the previous books, Mat claims to be selfish even while constantly doing heroic/selfless things, but in CoT & KoD, he really does just come across as a genuine selfish bastard, someone who only thinks about himself and who doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Climax:

Tuon and Mat agree on the terms of their marriage alliance and Say The Words

Elayne defeats her fellow claimants to the throne; maybe Min helps root out that Darkfriend captain in her guards, which would lend weight to her being able to do the same later for Tuon and also make it so that Min is at least as helpful to Team Light as she was to the Seanchan

The Seanchan (sent by Semirhage before she went to face Rand) attack the White Tower.

The Gathering Storm/Towers of Midnight: ToM has never made any sense as a title, so I would call this combined book “The Gathering Storm”. This section is more about putting things in a somewhat different order than they happened in the books, with a few tweaks.

Inciting Incidents:

Egwene defeats the Seanchan at the White Tower

Semirhage is freed by Elza and captures Rand, and (stealing @markantonys's excellent suggestion) Nynaeve is the one targeted when Semirhage forces Rand to her will, making Rand push Nynaeve away 'for her protection'

Rand and Egwene have a tense encounter that makes her doubt his sanity.

Turning point:

After taking the test to become full Aes Sedai, Nynaeve gets Lan's bond from Myrelle and then, since Myrelle was literally right outside the Black Tower at the time, Nynaeve and Logain deal with the Black Tower

Egwene deals with the assassins in the Tower (Gawyn subplot)

Perrin deals with the dreamspike and kills Slayer | Egwene deals with Mesaana

Aviendha returns from Rhuidean and reunites with Elayne & Min

Climax:

Rand attacks his father, leading to the moment on Dragonmount

post-epiphany, Rand actually goes to check in on his friends and loved ones, thus making his epiphany have an impact on the storyline -- he Travels to where Mat is and is the one who helps Mat get from Point A (Altara) to Point B (Caemlyn) and letting them actually have a real reunion, delivering Aludra to Elayne, where she is ready to make weapons. In Caemlyn, he talks to Elayne, Aviendha, & Min, leading into the bonding moment.

Mat saves Moiraine from the Tower of Ghenjei.

(epilogue) Tuon arrives back in Ebou Dar and takes control of the Seanchan forces, letting everyone know that there is now a treaty with the Westlands. Her going back with a treaty already tentatively in place would actually make the triumphant tone that the books try to take her with her return make a lot more sense than... readers apparently supposed to be happy??? that one slaver is taking over from another slaver, even though Tuon is just as willing to do awful shit to our protagonists as Suroth was, so it feels like a distinction without a difference to me. Technically, is Tuon marginally better than Suroth? Eh, maybe, but not by much.

A Memory of Light: Most of my changes here either follow from earlier ones (we already have a treaty with the Seanchan, so Mat can just go to Merrilor to start General’ing right away), but apart from that:

Let the Emond’s Field Five (plus Elayne) have a group reunion! (easier to do in this version where Mat's storyline isn't all about sucking up to Tuon, I admit)

Let Perrin and Mat be at Rand’s funeral! (genuinely so bizarre that Sanderson didn't do a one-sentence fix of this tbh; that would have been the easiest thing in the world to fix. One sentence is all you would have needed.)

Let Moiraine be the person who realizes that Rand is still alive, not Cadsuane.

The battle itself could have been cut down somewhat in order to leave more room for character interactions (we probably don't need three separate sword duels for Demandred; kinda excessive). This is a goodbye to people some of us spent over a decade loving; we should be given proper goodbyes to them.

I also feel like there's no need to have everyone and their brother know that Rand is in a relationship with three women? And it felt pointless to have people know that Rand is the father of Elayne's kids too. Have Rand tell his dad (and then have Tam actually act like he has that knowledge during his scenes with Elayne; it is genuinely bizarre how formal Tam and Elayne's interactions were in AMoL; she knows that he's Rand's dad! That's the grandfather of her kids!) but there's no need for a continent-wide memo about Rand's love life. I know this was likely all because of the epilogue where the whole world knows about ~the three~ grieving widows but this is all about a theoretical world of only ten books total, so some tweaking of the epilogue is happening regardless.

Inciting incidents:

Moiraine arrives (with Mat) to help heal the rift between Egwene and Rand

Darkfriends attack Caemlyn through the Ways

Climax:

Rand vs The Dark One

Everyone else vs the Shadow’s forces

So, that would leave us with ten books total (plus the New Spring prequel):

The Eye of the World: the journey begins

The Great Hunt: more important plot elements are introduced, like the Seanchan; Rand begins to learn leadership

The Dragon Reborn: Rand accepts being the Dragon Reborn & takes on a full-time leadership role; Mat now has his luck & Perrin has met Faile

The Shadow Rising: Perrin takes on a leadership role when he leads the defense of the Two Rivers

The Fires of Heaven: Mat takes on a leadership role during the Battle of Cairhien, creating the Band of the Red Hand

A Crown of Swords: Egwene takes on a leadership role by becoming Amyrlin Seat of the rebel Aes Sedai

The Path of Daggers: Elayne takes on a leadership role by putting in her claim to become Queen of Andor

Knife of Dreams: Rand & Nynaeve reverse the Dark One’s counterstroke and then Rand tries and fails to make an alliance with the Seanchan (fake!Tuon); Perrin goes to wolf boot camp; Mat makes a treaty with the Seanchan via marriage alliance to the DotNM; Elayne gets all ten Houses she needs to secure the throne; Egwene has all-but won over the White Tower as well.

The Gathering Storm: we all prepare for the Last Battle; Rand has his epiphany, in whatever form it takes; Mat saves Moiraine; Perrin defeats Slayer; Egwene and Elayne prepare their respective areas for TLB.

A Memory of Light: the journey ends (for this age)

I feel like this gives us a more consistent build-up to the ending, with each piece building upon the ones before, and not taking an excessive amount of time with subplots in the endgame. Each character also has a more consistent progression as well.

Rand

tEotW: worries about being a male channeler

TGH: told he is the Dragon Reborn but assumes the White Tower wants to use him as a false Dragon

TDR: goes on a journey to prove whether or not he’s TDR and proves that he is; taking control of Tear

TSR: becomes the Car’a’carn

TFoH: takes control of Cairhien

ACoS: takes control of Illian

TPoD: has his first major failure when he is unable to repel the Seanchan from Ebou Dar

KoD: succeeds in cleansing saidin but fails to make peace with the Seanchan

TGS: has rock-bottom moment and then his epiphany; he learns he doesn’t have to do it All On His Own

AMoL: re-seals TDO

Egwene

tEotW: sets off an adventure

TGH: experiences great trauma at the hands of the Seanchan

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter

TSR: Goes to the Aiel Waste to begin her training

TFoH: One of her mentors (Moiraine) dies

ACoS: is called to take on a leadership position

TPoD: takes control of the rebel Aes Sedai

KoD: besieges Tar Valon and is captured

TGS: become Amrylin of a united White Tower

AMoL: leads in the Last Battle and becomes an inspirational figure

Perrin

tEotW: discovers that he’s a wolfbrother

TGH: is first placed in a leadership position when Rand disappears

TDR: meets Faile

TSR: defends the Two Rivers (Slayer introduced)

TFoH: feels the tug of ta’veren and leaves the Two Rivers again

ACoS: saves Rand

TPoD: finds Masema; Faile kills Masema

KoD: Wolf Boot Camp

TGS: deals with Slayer in the Wolf Dream

AMoL: leads the wolves at the Last Battle (instead of it being Elyas)

Nynaeve

tEotW: sets out to protect the four kiddos

TGH: adopts Elayne as a fifth kiddo

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter

TSR: Tanchico & the SAD bracelets; Egeanin

TFoH: defeating Rahvin & capturing Moghedien

ACoS: Salidar & Ebou Dar

TPoD: using the Bowl of the Winds

KoD: cleansing saidin

TGS: the Black Tower plotline

AMoL: with Rand at the climax of TLB; being the Ultimate Protector

Mat

tEotW: finds the dagger

TGH: blows the Horn of Valere

TDR: discovers his luck

TSR: Rhuidean & prophecy

TFoH: the Battle of Cairhien & the Band of the Red Hand

ACoS: Salidar & Seanchan invasion in Ebou Dar

TPoD: meets & kidnaps the Daughter of the Nine Moons

KoD: forms a marriage alliance with the Daughter of the Nine Moons

TGS: saving Moiraine

AMoL: General of the forces of Light at the Last Battle

Elayne

tEotW: meets Rand, heads off to Tar Valon

TGH: gets a found family in Egwene, Nynaeve, & Min

TDR: Black Ajah Hunter (meets Aviendha)

TSR: Tanchico & the SAD bracelets; Egeanin

TFoH: bonding Birgitte; Circus storyline

ACoS: Salidar & Ebou Dar

TPoD: using the Bowl of the Winds & heading to Andor

KoD: becoming Queen (plot climax)

TGS: bonds Rand (emotional climax)

AMoL: powerful leader during the Last Battle

#wot #wheel of time #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #wot amol spoilers #wot a memory of light spoilers #a memory of light #my wot meta #the wheel of time #sigh this was supposed to post tmorrow morning #but tumblr mobile hates me #so here we are

[barid-bel-medar]

How do you expel an entire class? Did Aizawa simply tell you’re all expelled, walks away and wait for another teacher to make damage control?

That movement must make him:

1 Disliked by other fellow teachers (minus his friends i guess).

2 A PR nightmare for Nedzu and UA. Since there’s at least two recommended students.

3. Widely hated or feared for an entire promotion.

4. What about 1-B. Did they just assume the worst of them is better than the best 1-A?

5. How does the rivalry with Vlad King surge? Since there’s no competition at all.

6. What’s the true lesson behind all that? That an entire class needs to improve? That the worst batch goes into 1-A? That Aizawa is the most strict teacher and therefore the best?

Looking at that from all angles and just doesn’t work. How does Aizawa keep his job for more than a year. Did someone immediately re-enrrol the kids, apologize and swears them to silence? And, did all that shit show happens more than once?

I’ll never get how the Dadzawa wave started since before the very retcon!

Yeah the expulsion stuff causes a huge amount of problems when you start thinking about it. There should have been at minimum a huge surge of controversy long ago that resulted in Aizawa getting fired especially with the sheer number of students he's apparently expelled.

The biggest problem comes down to something I've noted before that Hori very clearly decided to make a bunch of Kakashi references with Aizawa, but also as clearly missed major reasons of why Kakashi can pull the shit he did with Team Seven and his earlier teams (namely the 'fail them back to the Academy' thing).

For one thing, things like the bell test? Were something all the genin teachers did; we see Team Gai's version in a flashback at one point. It's referenced as a thing all versions of Team Seven have done, meaning Kakashi isn't even the one who originally came up with it or the point of the lesson it taught. For another, these kids are literally about to start an active career in a field that will easily kill them. If they aren't ready for it, they're going to die, full stop and do need the additional Academy time. The 1-A kids are just about to start training to get to their careers in heroics. The expulsion thing isn't something a single other teacher does. Another big issue with Aizawa?

He's not someone that the vast, vast majority would give two shits about being trained by.

At the end of the day, Aizawa is just some random underground hero. He's not a famous pro that the kids are super excited to be being taught by. He's basically just some guy who happens to have a hero license when it comes down to it. Izuku, noted hero fanboy, didn't recognize Aizawa even, just his Quirk. Like if he was someone that people badly wanted to be taught by or was widely admired as a hero, then you could get away with people being more willing to brush aside the expulsion shit, but he's not. Kakashi over in Naruto is one of the most elite ninja in the village. He's someone people would love to have teach them and pass on that level of skill. Eliteness is something that makes a lot of people much more willing to look away from your bullshit.

(As bad as All Might is at teaching, you're still going to want to be taught by him just to say you were)

Even if you want to make the argument of 'well UA would want to have Aizawa at UA because Erasure is helpful to have if a student's quirk gets out of control while training', that only works if he's one of the practical lesson teachers, not a homeroom teacher. We're given no sign he's even around while 1-A is having practical lessons, aka a very reasonable time for him to be around to prevent an accident from happening.

The expulsion thing I think was definitely one of the things Hori's referencing when he talks about how he wishes he had made different writing choices for some characters at the start of the series.

#aizawa critical #and again I hope for the love of god this does not show up in his tag #because i do feel awful about writing character critical stuff #and it then ending up in their tag

[racefortheironthrone]

Please innumerate for us the specialized problems of the library sciences.

Let me start with the caveat that my information is based on my experiences at the National Archives more than a decade ago, and policy has definitely changed on this front as we can see from this graph of recent digitization - apparently NARA wants to get to 85% digitization by 2026. (Even still, I'd note that the records of the WPA are <0.001% digitized.)

However, back when I was doing the research that would eventually become my first book, I remember being at the National Archives II building in College Park, Maryland (Go Terps!) and getting really frustrated that all the records of the WPA were only available in their original physical form and that all the guides and indexes were also in paper only and were all from the 1970s, and I asked the archivist why the hell the National Archives hadn't been digitized already.

This is what they told me: if it's handled correctly and stored in the right environmental circumstances, paper can last a thousand years. Carbon copies can last even longer, if they don't rip. (Seriously, the bastard things are like onion skins, they'll split if you look at them funny.) Microfilm is slightly more technologically advanced than paper, but it only lasts 500 years in the right conditions.

We've only had computers en masse since the 1980s, and already there's a huge amount of records (especially from the early years) that we don't have any more, because the hard drives got re-formatted due to higher costs of storage space back in the day, or because old computers got thrown out when they were replaced by newer models and the hard drives are all rotting in landfills somewhere, or because backwards compatibility broke down and we just can't read those file types on our modern computers, or because the actual data got corrupted on the disc, or because some legacy company is asserting copyright against a video game museum, or because some political hack and/or president of the United States decided to violate the Presidential Records Act.

While we thought that the internet would cause an explosion of written records from ordinary people on the scale of the advent of mass literacy, there are vast swathes of the early internet that simply do not exist any more because the servers got switched off when Geocities et al. folded in the dot-com bubble burst or when everyone migrated to Web 2.0, and the Internet Archive tries its best (bless its heart, affectionately) but it can't be everywhere and save everything.

As a result, the archivist told me, digitization is a fraught question: what file format do we use? How do we know that file format will still be compatible and backwards-compatible in 50 years? 100? Longer? Do we keep everything locally or store it on the cloud, and how do we ensure that the storage mechanisms won't fail if there's a blackout or a virus or whatever? Do we digitize everything now, or do we wait until optical character recognition improves enough to the point where digitized records can be searched for words and phrases? Etc.

Keep in mind, I am a public policy historian who studies the 20th century U.S - I work primarily with the official records and the central archives of the richest government in the world. From a library sciences perspectives, this is kind of an ideal scenario, and it's still kind of fucked up. (Let me tell you, the rage and grief I felt when I learned that most of the General File of the Public Works Administration was thrown away by the National fucking Archives and Records Administration in the mid-1950s because they were running out of shelf space in the D.C location and didn't think these records were important...)

Now imagine what it's like at a local historical society or a small liberal arts college, or the national museum of a developing nation for that matter, who do not have the resources for the kind of grand digitization project that NARA started doing five years ago. Think of the sheer scale of historical records that sleep, unseen and untouched perhaps for decades and perhaps for ever, in little cubbyholes all across the world. Among professionals, historical records are measured in linear and cubic feet - think about that for a second, how many pages of paper there are in a foot when you stack them up, and how many hundreds and thousands and millions of feet there are across the face of the world. Think of all the millions of feet of pieces of paper that have been lost to us because of fire or rot or war or time itself.

This is why Peter Turchin is a quack. Historical records are not a standardized little database for social scientists to plug their fucking spreadsheets into; historians don't play that kind of bullshit t-ball, with all our data neatly packaged and handed to us on a silver platter. Our profession is not a social science, it's a goddamn treasure hunt through boxes that were never catalogued or categorized (or that were re-catalogued so many times no one remembers how they were put together in the first place) to find writing that no one has read since the authors died. All of us know that our work, our understanding, will always be partial and limited, because memory is infinitely fragile and the very idea of historical preservation is a mad existential defiance of entropy itself. These records are real, they are fragile - to hell with the Library of Alexandria, remember the National Museum of Brazil? - and they are all that is left to us of the dead.

#history #library sciences #archives #digitization #historiography

[softandwigglybones]

Remember that post about using hedge as a prefix?

it's been on my mind for a while now and i just had to put my thoughts somewhere, to organize them and such. So here is my mind laid bare, let's hope i can force some logic into this.

The basic premise was from the word hedgehog (and also hedge-wizard, though i'm not sure) and how that prefix, hedge, could be used with other words.

now, hedge, on it's own, just means a fence made of plants. basically. not much useful stuff there, though maybe i'll get back to it later.

now onto the words that kicked this off.

hedgehos is, simply, hedge and hog. let's disregard hedge's old meaning and construct a new one that only applies to the prefic. for that, we have to look at what hog is.

a hog, is a synonim for boar or pig. So a big powerful (but clumsy*) creature with a tough hide (hard to damage) *clumsy as in can't control itself much once it begins charging

A hedgehog, on the other hand, is a small beastie. but at the same time i wouldnt say the change of size improved its clumsyness in any way, so still cumsy. but, and this is most important, it doesnt have a tough hide. no, instead it has a thorny pelt. spikes. so a hedgehog is a smaller, weaker, less tough version of a hog that has much greater retaliatory power.

okay, the definition of hedge it beginning to take shape.

now hedge-wizard.

a wizard is, obviosly, a time of spellcaster. what kind depends somewhat on the setting/person, but in general it's someone who studied the arcane for many years (usually holed up in a wizard tower) and acquired immense cosmic power. a wizard may be a bit squishy when it comes to physical might, but they pretty much constantly have some kind of spell running to mitigate this.

but a hedgewizard? well, a hedgewizard didn't have the resources or time to leisurely study for many years. they're usually self-taught from bits and pieces they can piece together about magic. they have only scraps of knowledge of magic compared to a wizard. this forces them to improvise, extrapolate spells from the little they have. and this often leads to more, but less powerful spells. but more importantly, it also leads to having spells for every situation. and also, since hedgewizards often also don't have a wizard tower or a place to stay, they often times have to become wanderers, survivalists, travelers. so their spells also focus on that. So, a hedge wizard is a less powerful but more versatile yet specialized wizard. and since they have so many spells they usually figure out at least a combo or two that is really powerful even if it leaves them hurt too. this they usually use as a last resort when attacked.

You see where this i going yet?

Basically, hedhe- , as a prefix, means a less powerful version of something whose main power is retaliation.

Let's try to apply that to something else. One example i remember from the original post was the concept of a hedge-knight.

Since a knight is someone who is big and strong, wears heavy, protective, full-plate metal armour and carrier some kind of big weapon like a broadsword or a greataxe, a hedge knight would be of a smaller build, carry a smaller weapon (if one at all)(like daggers, or a rapier). However i can't quite decide on the armour. my original idea was just a lighter, less protective one, which would make a hedgeknight basically a version of a rogue. the other idea is to directly borrow from the hog->hedgehog situaton and have a hedgeknight wear some kind of spiky mettalic armout. like the kind you see in videogames where it's called thorn armor or something like that.

next up, hedgeking. but since this is getting kind of long and im getting tired of writing this, i'll shorten it.

a king doesnt have any personal power and is more characterized by what they rule over. a king rules over vast swathes of land and has a strong army and etc. So, naturally, a hedgeking must rule over a much smaller area, not have much immediate power, but once attacked/disrespected have an extremely powerful retaliation.

hmm, that sounds kind of familiar... oh, i know. it the f-ing fey! or fay/faerie/fairy/however you spell it. A hedgeking is a fey, which makes even more sense since fairies are often also connected to nature... such as hedges.

anyway, at this point it got too much to all keep in my head and i got exhausted from thinkning of hedgecreatures.

reblog with some of your ideas or whatever

thanks for coming to my ted talk, thank for your attention, so on and so on

#wizard posting #wizard #wizardposting #wizard problems #wizard shit #wizardblr #wizardry #wizards #wizard tumblr #wizardblogging #hedge #hedgehog #hog #hedgewizard #knight #hedgeknight #king #hedgeking #fey #fay #fairie #fairy #faerie #fae #hedge- #prefix #hedge prefix #prefix hedge #idk what other tags to put here #so true bestie

[haggishlyhagging]

The original "medicine men" in history were actually women. Briffault writes on this subject, "The connection of women with the cultivation of the soil and the search for edible vegetables and roots made them specialists in botanical knowledge, which, among primitive peoples, is extraordinarily extensive. They became acquainted with the properties of herbs, and were thus the first doctors." He adds:

The word "medicine" is derived from a root meaning "knowledge" or "wisdom" - the wisdom of the 'wise woman." The name of Medea, the medical herbalist witch, comes from the same root.... "The secret of the witch," said an Ogowe native, "is knowing the plants that produce certain effects, and knowing how to compound and use the plants in order to bring about the desired result; and this is the sum and essence of witchcraft." In the Congo it is noted that woman doctors specialise in the use of drugs and herbal pharmacy. In Ashanti the medicine women are "generally preferred for medical aid, as they possess a thorough knowledge of barks and herbs." In East Africa "there are as many women physicians as men." (The Mothers, vol. I, p. 486)

Dan McKenzie, in The Infancy of Medicine (1927), lists hundreds of ancient remedies, some of which are still in use without alteration, while others have been only slightly improved upon. Among these are substances used for their narcotic properties. A fleeting review indicates the astounding scope of these medicinal products. Useful properties were developed from acacia, alcohol, almond, asafetida, balsam, betel, caffeine, camphor, caraway, chaulmoogra oil (a leprosy remedy), digitalis, gum barley water, lavender, linseed, parsley, pepper, pine tar, pomegranate, poppy, rhubarb, senega, sugar, turpentine, wormwood, and hundreds more. These came from regions all over the globe-South America, North America, Africa, China, Europe, Egypt, etc. Not only vegetable but animal substances were made into remedies; snake venom, for example, was converted into a serum to be used for snake bites, the equivalent of today's antivenin.

According to Marston Bates, very little had been added to this remarkable ancient collection of medicine, until the discoveries of sulfa and antibiotics. "How primitive man discovered the ways of extracting, preparing and using all of these drugs, poisons and foods, remains one of the great mysteries of human prehistory," he writes (The Forest and the Sea, p. 126). But it is not so mysterious when we look in the direction of the female sex and become acquainted with the hard work, vast experience, and nimble wits of primitive womankind, preoccupied with every aspect of group survival.

Not only medicine but the rudiments of various other sciences grew up side by side with the craft and know-how of women. Childe points out that to convert flour into bread requires a knowledge of biochemistry and the use of the yeast microorganism. This substance also led to the production of fermented liquors and beer. Childe also gives credit to women for "the chemistry of potmaking, the physics of spinning, the mechanies of the loom, and the botany of flax and cotton" (What Happened in History, p. 59).

-Evelyn Reed, Woman’s Evolution: From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchal Family

#Evelyn reed #womens history #anthropology #wise women #witchcraft #ancient remedies #primitive women

[black-rose-writings]

I've had this idea about how the show would have been massively improved by making one little change.

The show, especially it's second season, feels boring, pointless. The only driving point of the whole season 2 is to yell "Darkling Bad". They obviously don't care about established characters, the worldbuilding or lore. Definitelly not about Grisha oppression.

So, what small change would give even the slightest hint of a point and theme to it all, a theme that transcends the creators' need to shit on their most popular character?

Make Alina Aleksander's daughter.

Narratives about cycles of abuse and generational trauma are really popular these days, so instead of making it a story about shitting on the Darkling, make it a story about how Ilya being a shitty father and a mad scientist literally fucked over the rest of the world. Instead of making the show a story about destruction of Morozova's legacy, make it a story about it's redemption.

(Again, my ideal version of the story would be one that works with the themes, characters and plots of the original books and expands on them in a way LB was too much of an american lib to do, but this is "how to make the show better with as few changes as possible")

First, some tweaks to Alina's backstory to account for this change (well, giving her a backstory pre-Keramzin):

There was a more open conflict with Shu Han like 25 years ago, that required Aleksander's presence. During his stay, he spent a few nights with a local woman (possibly anonymously initially, but she did end up finding out who he was, this is important) of Shu descent (though she considered herself Ravkan). The conflict ends and much of the Dva Stolba valley falls under Shu control, giving more explanation for the tension and racism Alina experiences later. Alina's mother stays in Ravkan territory, because, again, despite her ethnicity, she considers herself to be Ravkan, and a few months after the end of that conflict, she gives birth to Alina. She does attempt to contact Aleksander, wanting him to claim the child, but he initially doesn't, both because it's impractical and because he doesn't really believe he is her father, though he does arrange for her to recieve some money.

A few years pass and Alina starts showing signs of Grisha powers, and her mother attempts to contact Aleksander again, telling him of this. She is unable to explain Alina's powers, because she knows relatively little about Grisha and has no idea how Sun Summoning would present. Aleksander does respond this time and urges Alina's mother to take her to be tested and that it would be safest for Alina to keep her parentage a secret (he still doesn't fully believe Alina is his daughter). Before Alina can be tested, however, the family gets caught in the middle of a Shu raid and Alina's mother (and maybe stepfather) are killed, and she ends up in Keramzin, now having an extra trauma reason to hide her powers (taking some inspiration from Alina's cut pre-Keramzin backstory from season 1).

Now, for the changes in season 1, those would be largely in the form of Aleksander's flashbacks and slow realisation of who Alina is. You can still keep the make-out scene/"romance" bits if you really want, because GSI (genetic sexual attraction, a syndrome/phenomenon where closely related people who have been separated for the vast majority of their life, like through adoption, deadbeat/cheating parents etc. upon meeting as adults develop an attraction to each other) is a real thing, incest in media is also unfortunately popular, of course this fucking family would do it, and antis will enjoy getting even more reason to hate Aleksander.

If we go the non-ew route, there would be some changes to the tent scene (to account for Alina being a living amplifier) and perhaps expanding/adding scenes to the journey to Os Alta, giving room to vocalize some of these differences (like explaining the living amplifier thing earlier). Maybe having Alina saying something that prompts Aleksander to be reminded of her mother, and being confused as to why at first.

Their interractions in season 1 would need to be reframed through the father-daughter lens, but it wouldn't be all that dificult, because it already has mentor-mentee undertones. Ideally, there would be a point somewhere before the Winter Fete, possibly as a catalyst for Alina's breakthrough with her powers, when he tells her who she is. It would give Alina a personal stake in the story, because she clearly doesn't give a fuck about her duties/responsibilities as a Sun Summoner in either version. She doesn't have to destroy the Fold because she's a Sun Summoner, but because she's the descendant of the Black Heretic. She's not just the savior of a country she doesn't give two shits about, but the redemption of her family.

If we want to go the "shit on Aleksander" route, nothing about his interractions with Alina would change all that much and the reveal of her parentage, at least to Alina, would come through Baghra, giving Alina more obvious emotional reason to run away and feel betrayed (especially if the almost-sex-on-the-big-map still happens, because "ew, I almost fucked my dad, who know we're related" would be infinitely more understandable of a reason to run away than what Baghra actually tells her).

Either way, the information that she isn't just a distant descendant of the Black Heretic, but his actual child, that she has a grandmother he didn't bother telling her about, that he told her they were going to redeem their family, when he only planned on continuing his work and using her for it, hits Alina like a truck. Alina going though StuffTM emotionally makes her decision to run away make a lot more sense.

Anyway, there would be very little change plotwise, just some dialogue adjustments, maybe mentioning how the Stag is her legacy, her heritage.

It would reframe Alina's fear of becoming like Aleksander, that permeates the second season, have some basis. It would give a reason for the "fuck Ilya and everything he touched and made" narrative Baghra is spinning. Baghra telling both Mal and Alina the story of her family, of why she believes now that it all much be destroyed, how her father's greed drove him to create abominations, to twist the world in unnatural ways, and she looks pointedly at the two as she says it.

Make Alina's stand against Aleksander her way of saying "the cycle of abuse in this family ends with me. I will make our family better.". Make her and Nikolai's political marriage a symbol of a new begining for Ravka in more ways than one - redemption of the Morozov(a) and Lantsov families. And bonding over "I can't tell anyone who my real dad is because it would cause trouble."

But of course, at the end, it fails, because both of them misunderstood the fundamental reason why things became as bad as they did.

IDK, I just think that changing Alina to Aleksander's daughter would improve their dynamic and a lot of the surrounding narratives massively. Even in variations other than the show.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone au

[cyle]

for the followers i have who love the technical insides of tumblr...

i've been living on tumblr every day with the gifs-as-mp4 change for over a month now and honestly, i didn't even know that change had been made until i stumbled upon it in an internal changelog about it. it's really that good: we only serve GIFs as MP4 when it makes sense. we do, literally, have many thousands of samples of the conversion process to look at (probably a lot more now). even at tumblr's scale, that's tiny, but the experience feels pretty good with the tuning we've done so far.

more specific examples of where it goes wrong will make it even better, so please send them in.

the really hard part about working on something like tumblr is its scale. we serve millions (tens of millions? hundreds?) of GIFs every single day to the internet at large. think about that: how many things in the world get served tens of millions of times? maybe mcdonalds hamburgers?

the effort of making that thing more performant, smaller, faster, "better", is worth it, to a point. finding that balance point is the really, really hard part. because the money doesn't come from nowhere. we've been serving GIFs as WebP for many years now, with nobody noticing (ok, a few people noticed), to huge benefit. you're already not seeing "real" GIFs!!!!! you didn't even notice!!!!!!

the vast majority of GIFs on tumblr (based on our random sampling) are TV- and film-like stuff, like this:

.... which is almost totally imperceptibly different when served as an H264 MP4 versus a literal GIF. by the way, that example is already actually an WebP image, not a GIF. that change literally saves us a lot of money and CPU time and whatnot trying to serve that as an MP4 instead of a 1987 GIF. in fact, if we let you upload that as an h264 mp4 instead of a GIF, it'd probably look better, since Netflix serves that to you as an h264 mp4 originally.

know your formats! the GIFs you're seeing on tumblr probably started as h264 mp4 files!!!!!!

but there are still tons of tumblr artists who use GIFs to their maximum potential (i follow a few), and i haven't seen any change to how we serve their GIFs. usually they exceed our criteria of when we'd try to serve an mp4, so i see their GIF (or webp) instead. i have some hope that we'll create some kind of Tumblr setting to "prefer GIFs" or something, but still, that'll be for the tiny minority of picky tumblr consumers. audiophiles? more on that thought in a second.

it's interesting, though, how we (Tumblr) introduced "data saving" options, which were universally loved, but basically do this same thing: serve images and videos in formats that are better for your bandwidth and CPU, at the likely cost of quality. there's a very large (silent majority) of Tumblr users who actually want this as a default all the time. they prefer a fast, efficient tumblr, over a perfect fidelity tumblr. i would too if i was living in a place with slow internet, which is a lot of the world today.

i don't blame them; i used to spend a week every year at a house that only had 1mbps internet, and the "data saving" options we've added to tumblr really helped me. i literally could not have used tumblr without it. that's a lot of peoples' experience every day.

there's a debate here about creator versus consumer quality, which is wonderful, that's a lot like what audiophiles and film enthusiasts debate about (i'm an active participant in these debates), but ultimately this gets trumped by an argument about what level of quality is discernably acceptable to the consumer. there's a 0.001% bleeding edge of people who can really know quality, definitely. but can you make decisions for a whole platform based on that? maybe. probably not? how is Tidal doing?

anyway, these are the fun thought exercises of someone like me trying to wrap their heads around how Tumblr can improve for the literal millions of people using it every day.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Out Patients 2000 Future Jazz / Broken Beat / Drum n Bass

Checked out this sweet turn-of-the-millennium electronic comp over the past couple days called Out Patients, the first installment in a three-volume series that was put out on UK label Hospital Records. Originally launched in 1996, Hospital was founded by London Elektricity, a duo who, sometime in the early 2000s, decided to downsize to just one member, Tony Colman, so the former member, Chris Goss, could devote more time and energy to running Hospital himself.

Now, if you know anything about either Hospital or LE beyond what I've just told you, then you know that what they're both primarily known for is their drum n bass output. In fact, in their first four years of existence, that's all Hospital pretty much ever released. However, in 2000, with the launching of this little, cleverly titled Out Patients series—songs that largely laid outside of Hospital's own sonic radius—they decided to venture a little out of their comfort zone.

So, ultimately, what we have here are a bunch of groovy electronic lounge-type vibes that largely come in the form of future jazz and broken beat—a pair of oft-intertwined electronic genres that were both surging at around the same exact time. Broken beat was this wonderful, broadly-defined music that saw fundamentals of drum n bass taken to a sharper, more complicated and unorthodox abstraction, and its rhythms would be integrated into future jazz, a type of jazz-infused electronic music that succeeds the late 80s-to-mid-90s UK phenomenon of acid jazz, and hearkens back to the halcyon days of free-flowing jazz fusion from the 70s and 80s too; also known as nu jazz.

And even though this is just an exclusive dozen tracks from a label that'd never really put out this type of material before, Hospital was still able to get a few notable names to contribute to this release here: veteran Uschi Classen, who in addition to her own solo material, had also been in a bunch of groups, like Ashley Beedle's Black Science Orchestra and the Ballistic Brothers; dnb trio Aquasky; and Mr. Scruff, whose biggest claim to fame is this very popular electro swing tune—one of the only decent ones that's ever been made—and if you're an American of a certain age, you might remember it from an old ad campaign for Lincoln's full lineup of vehicles too.

Here's one of those ads with Michael Clarke Duncan!

But, to me, the best song on this release has to be "Action," by Japan's Yukihiro Fukutomi. Fukutomi himself was his own entity too by the time this song had been included on this very comp, but the vast majority of his music had only ever been released in Japan; so when he appeared on Out Patients, it was likely the first time that many people outside of Japan had ever heard him before. And those people were probably fuckin' dazzled, because the combination of constantly shifting broken beat drum rhythm and Fukutomi's whiny old school keyboard improv here is simply diabolical 😈. Get lost in this super craggy shit!

And something that also needs pointing out here is that even though most of this comp isn't drum n bass, there are still a couple dnb tunes on here anyway. And as someone who really loves it when people just *straight-up rap* over drum n bass beats, I can't leave this post without mentioning MC Mello and London Elektricity's bouncy "Melloizdaman." This is just such a cool and fun tune, overall, and I especially love how LE add this warm coat of ambient synth to their double bass-infused beat after the first verse. Usually rappers need to rap over steady beats in order to maintain their own timing and flow, and while LE don't mess with the rhythm itself here, they're still able to enhance their tune further with this added synth in order to keep it sounding fresh. Really great stuff 🤩.

So a pretty dope set of early 2000s tunes from Hospital Records here. Mostly not the kind of electronic music that they're typically known for releasing, but they included some nice, previously unheard tracks on this album nonetheless 👍.

And if you want the type of stuff that Hospital *is* known for, check out this post I did a few months ago on Plastic Surgery 2, a double-disc comp and DJ mix that featured them on the 2-step liquid funk trend, a more mass-appealing strain of drum n bass that grew to be very popular in the UK in the mid-to-late 2000s that they themselves were on the forefront of.

Highlights:

Liane Carroll - "The Trap" Uschi Classen - "Tocatta (The Indigo Blue Mix)" Aquasky - "Another Day" Skitz + Julie Dexter - "Be...." Landslide - "Golden Cavalier" London Elektricity - "Incurable" Space Clique - "Exit #1: Luna Park" MC Mello vs. London Elektricity - "Melloizdaman" Yukihiro Fukutomi - "Action" Marcus Intalex & S.T. Files - "Taking Over Me"

#future jazz #nu jazz #broken beat #drum n bass #drum & bass #drum and bass #dnb #d n b #d and b #d&b #d & b #electronic #electronic music #music #2000s #2000s music #2000's #2000's music #00s #00s music #00's #00's music

[rmwb-fanfics]

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party - what type of fanfiction do you write/currently write? You mentioned an RU fic?

Morning/evening/afternoon anon! Thank you for asking, hope you’re well.

Well, I write a lot of fanfiction, (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jurassic Park/World) but the only stuff I post is for Harry Potter.

I have two fics posted, both in a WIP state. There’s one other that I haven’t posted and I’m waiting to be finished before uploading, here is the list.

Available:

Regretfully Uncaring (RU)

My long fic. My baby. I looooove it with all my heart. Currently rewriting/editing the vast majority of it because this was really my first proper toe into creative writing, and as it’s gone on my skill set has improved considerably and, as I say in the summary on AO3, I want the story to be as accessible and enjoyable as it can be to the most amount of people.

It’s a werewolf fic, but it’s also a lot more than that. As the name implies it’s about regret. The name actually comes from something an addict I know told me, where when you’re hooked on something you regret your actions but you can’t get yourself to care. It’s about learning how to love again. It’s about acceptance, revolution. But really it’s about addiction. I say all that from the perspective of the author. It’s a ton of other things and my readers get different stuff out of it I’m sure.

It’s an ensemble cast story, so the perspective shifts quite a few times per chapter. I think there’s something like 20 characters that each lead a role at some point. Plenty of pairings, but the focuses are Harry/Ginny and Ron/Daphne. There’s time travel, there’s world building, the entire plot is essentially original and that’s why it’s my Bebe.

Because Regretfully Uncaring is a test run. Once the tournament concludes in chapter 28/29, it’s basically just a Harry Potter version of my original work that I poke away at. I want to make movies someday, and maybe Hollywood and general audiences as a whole will be more up to some original stories and less remakes/sequels because fuck I have so many ideas and this really is one of them.

FFN | AO3

Big thanks to @curse-04 and @muib92 who I can’t tag for some reason. Their genuine interest in what I’ve written has kept me going through so much, more than just writing. Even if you’re the same person with an alt account, I appreciate it.

A Short Life Full of Long Years (ASLFOLY)

Yeah so I don’t have as much to say about this one. Only reason it isn’t a one-shot is because my brain can’t just let things end so here we are. It’s a post-war soul bond fic, again: Harry and Ginny are the focus here. Together they go travelling in search of Andromeda and Teddy, who have gone into hiding in the muggle world somewhere in Europe. They have a vague map without any marked destinations, oh, and a vengeful Death is after Harry since his survival in the forest. I really wanted to explore what a soul bond post HBP/DH would look like, and I’ve enjoyed myself so far. Eventually, if I feel like it, they might become a secret agent duo. At the moment I have very little plan for this story, i just like writing it as it goes. People have loved it so far, so there’s that.

FFN | AO3

Biggest thanks to @fizzyginfizz for leaving the best review I’ve ever received on any story, let alone ASLFOLY. I still think about it.

-

So yeah that’s what’s uploaded, that’s what I tend to talk about. The stuff I won’t post is pretty simple.

My PotC fic is a follow up to the fifth film that explains Davy Jones and Jack’s actions in the Sea of Thieves portion of the story line. It’s pretty good and I’m thinking I might eventually post but there’s only like 20k words at the moment.

My Jurassic Park/World fic is just a rewrite of the latest film. Call me stupid or whatever but I was hella invested in the Jurassic story and I was looking forward to the conclusion/follow up after Fallen Kingdom. But *NO* they had to FUCK IT UP. Anyway it’s pretty damn good as a story but I will never ever post this one because no one is learning about my obsession for Jurassic Park that intimately.

Thank you for asking anon and sorry for rambling. Going to grammar edit this now, have a wonderful day.

#harry potter #harry x ginny #hinny #harry potter fanfiction #ron weasley #ginny weasley #pirates of the caribbean #jurassic park #jurassic world #fanfiction #anon answered

[solarisgod]

hello, my moon, happy new year's! ✧ i adore you so infinitely much like how the sun adores the moon and stars. you have always been the most kindest and talented and energetic around, on here and in real life. you're always putting the highest effort in everything that you do. you are always more than happy to be friends with everyone around you and brighten their days and dashes. it's amazing to me how supportive and loving you are, and you take the time and energy to acknowledge everyone, constantly, even when you are sad or in pain. you easily make people feel at home.

it's endlessly admirable how vast and bright the love and light are that you still hold onto for the world that often takes you and your kindness for granted. it's incredible, also, how much you try to have hope in yourself and and want to improve on everything of yourself. you've certainly improved a lot across 2023. you became more confident and intuitive and self-aware. i'm amazed to see how far you've come. you would say i inspire you a lot in so many ways, but you inspire me just as much. i am most honored to be part of this life with you, reality and roleplay wise.

you're extremely talented and creative as well, and it's a privilege to not only see you create and share your wonders, but i can get to co-create with you as well. you hold so much trust in me to design and develop our original characters that you created, and i'm always more than thankful to get to be the main co-creator of our series, as i can write with warlock moonglade for myself, you, and the starwake system. i enjoy creating and developing with you so much. you make the process so much fun and interesting, and i'm always looking forward to see more of what you create.

you have given me so much joy and comfort and love, and i can never ever thank you enough for everything, beloved. i'm forever so glad you exist and i can get to exist with you. we don't remember much of our life and times together, but you still make life more beautiful and brighter to be in where i can feel most happy and loved. i can remember feeling only happy when we had our first anniversary and my first celebrated birthday. you're an incredible little star full of infinite light, and i will always be beyond proud of you for everything. you mean more than everything to me.

you will always be so loved and cared for by many despite it all. nowhere can be the same without you while you do make so many significant impacts to a lot of people. you're going to do more amazing things and reach to more dreams, and i will always be here with you. i look forward to make more memories with you over time. if we forget most of them, as long as we can sense we're happy together, i'd be content. from the bottom of my heart, i hope this year will give you all that you want and need, as it is as bright and brilliant as you are.

i love you so dearly much, entirely and endlessly. from your sun. ☼ ♡ ☾

NOT THE BEE SCRIPT SDKSGNJSD BUT MY BELOVED SUN!!! Holy fucking stars, this is. WOW. I don't even know where to START with you and your chaotic gay as fuck ass. I love you so so so much too like no one can believe. You make life so much more funner and interesting and tolerable. You're the B) witty B) to my :3 silly :3 and it makes me so so so happy to see that many of our / my friends mainly on this blog would follow yours because you deserve all of the love from everyone. You're so cool and fun and delightful. I love doing everything with you and from what I can remember, you're so sweet and supportive to me and IIIIII can never ever thank you enough. ( BUT I will never forget you called me a straightie, FUCK you. SFSFKNJF )

But I'm just as proud of you for everything. You've been with me for two years and it's so nice to see the changes you go through. You still don't give a fuck about every harsh treatment and every mean people and you hold so much hope in us and our life and future, which I find is so commendable. I just don't know how you can always be so resilient and optimistic. The world needs more like you, truly. As with our project and original characters with the canon muses you wrote, you're so creative and talented and it really is a lot of fun and delightful creating and writing with you. You make my writing hobby mean so much more and I'm just as thankful to get to do these amazing things with you. I think a lot about the Starwake System and Warlock alone and together because of you and our ideas and writings, and you make Warlock such a vivid and real character. I love everything you do with it and our series so incredibly much.

Just. Thank YOU so much for everything. You have done and said so much kindness, and I'm so glad I can make life more beautiful and brighter for you. You deserve only the best and you and I WILL get those best of this year together, OKAY? I extremely enjoy all of our jokes and banters and conversations and threads, etcetera. Even when butting heads with you and our banters gets a bit too heated, you're still so chill and funny. I just feel so much safe and comfortable talking to you about everything. We brought the Espeon and Umbreon plushies for our birthdays and I only remember spending our first anniversary taking photos of them as us together and we were just wandering about in a beautiful shining afternoon. At least I'll never forget that.

I'm just as excited to do so much more with you, though. We are gonna take so many of the stars from the sky and make them ours for the world to tremble at us in awe. I adore you just as much and I am ALWAYS gonna be here with you too. We're gonna shine so much more together this year and the next and beyond. Thank you for being so incredible and may this year and ahead will be most kind and gentle to you as well.

I love you so dearly much back, entirely and endlessly. From your moon. ☾ ♡ ☼

#DEVEILS #/// #// #/ #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ SAVED . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ ANSWERS . › #[ the way I cried at this I am so jdbgsdbkgsbd I love you so so so so SOOOOOOOOOO much. thank you. just thank you!!! 💖 ]

[jilyarchive]

AUGUST AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: MABELT

Q: Where can we find you and your stories? 

A: @mabeltothknows​, AO3

Q: How would you describe your writing style? 

A: I try to write with a light touch and get the story across, and to pepper in lots of humor where I can so it (hopefully) feels fun and fizzy and not like a slog to read. Sometimes I probably underwrite, and have to go back and make sure the things that are so clear in my head are actually coming across on the page. 

I think many people would describe much of my writing as humor/crackfic, but I really enjoy developing the emotional beats as well. My favorite things are watching how people effect change in others, and exploring incremental moments of growth over time. Maybe my style is most like those chocolate chip cookie recipes where moms hide some good-for-you broccoli in with the sugar, and there was a second half of this metaphor that focused on digestion and which I immediately regretted and will spare you.

Q: How do you come up with ideas for your writing?

A: Sometimes it feels like they just drop from the sky, fully formed, but I’m sure there’s lots of subconscious input happening that leads up to the moment I need to write it down. Others are more clearly the result of watching a TV show, or a conversation. Or sometimes I want to explore a trope but try to take it in a different direction. Death Takes a Holiday started because I wanted to write a holiday fic and also see if I could make dead!Jily fun to read.

Q: When and why did you begin writing fanfiction? 

A: Basically as soon as I knew it existed, I wanted in on the fun. Back in the old days of dial-up internet, when your family had a single computer to share, me and my AOL screen name went trolling for fansites about Newsies and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (there were probably thirty of them) and I was astounded that people could actually write their own stories about my obsessions. After devouring many of them, I decided my ideas were too important and original not to share with the world, because who doesn’t need to read a literal child’s interpretation of Buffy and Angel’s forbidden romance? In the form. Of a long poem. It was my Iliad. One thing you could say about me as a writer at that time was I definitely owned a thesaurus.

Q: What’s one thing you’d tell someone who is considering reading one of your fics? 

A: Thanks! I know there’s an abundance of good fic out there, and probably a lot of other ways you could be spending your time. 

Q: What are some of your favorite Jily tropes?

A: Enemies-to-lovers, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers. Platonic cuddling. James is Lily’s date to Petunia’s wedding. Everyone thinks they’re dating because they’re so obviously right for each other. Oblivious mutual pining. Appreciation of Lily’s emerald-green eyes and the flecks of gold in James’ hazel eyes. Lily and Sirius bond over muggle music, and James is more smitten because they’re friends. I’m sure I’ll think of more later.

Q: What do you like most about the Jily fandom?

A: I like seeing the different ways everyone interprets the same characters we’ve decided to love, and the vast array of origin stories and headcanons. I like the unexpected friendships that have grown from a kernel of a shared interest. 

Q: Pick a favourite Marauders era character. 

A: Lily.

Q: Self-promo time! List the fics that you are most proud of writing.

A:

We Have Buried the Putrid Corpse of Liberty – still entirely too tickled that people like this fic, and the continued support for it and my writing has improved my life drastically.

The Summer of Dying – I love complicated sister relationships, and getting to paint Petunia as something a little more than the Wicked Stepmother archetype Harry has to live with.

Love is the Law – I just loved writing this and flexing the angst muscles.

Q: Fic rec time! Could you recommend a few of your favourite Jily fics?

A: So I am making a concerted effort NOT to plug the same stories/authors I’m always always always gushing about on tumblr. 

Prelude to Destiny by AnEscapeFromReality – This is the fic I went searching for during the pandemic because I remembered loving it so much when I read it years ago, and so it’s also the one that brought me back to Jily. It stood out to me so much because it was the first fic I’d read where Lily was so unique and delightful. 

good crimes by flagpoles – I first read it on tumblr. I didn’t even know texting in fics was a thing at the time. I love everything by this author. 

The Next Great Adventure by @thirty2flavors​ – aka Make Me Cry in 1500 Words.

Thank you @mabeltothknows​ for letting us pick your brain and for sharing your writing with us! ❤️

#author spotlight #august author spotlight #<3 #thanks mabel!!

[airi-of-hearts]

In another place, a different time... an alternate universe Ficlet for @andromedagarcia ♥ (@jofdiamonds)

Nighttime. The soft glow of the planetoid’s three moons illuminated her face. This face, her current mask. Airi leaned on the windowsill and let the wind play with her hair. 

The black vastness of the ocean felt oddly comforting. It had the same sound as the one back home. Or so she’d been told, she’d never been “home”, but then why did the ocean make her feel so nostalgic? Why did it make her long for a home she never knew? 

The night was cold but it didn’t bother her. For one thing, because her body had been enhanced to withstand much worse conditions than the faint sea breeze that would have made her shiver before, in some other time, some other body; for another, because she’d found him. And in finding him, she’d found herself. Nothing could vex her.

The room she’d found at The Nevermore wasn’t exactly what she would have liked. But it was fine, it would do, and the AI hotel hadn’t really asked a lot of questions. If she had the credits, she was welcome as a guest and her privacy and her business would be protected.

Airi tore her eyes from the window and stared at the reclining figure on the bed. The man was sleeping soundly.

‘Give him time to reboot.’ That was what the dealer that had helped her find a sleeve for his stack had told her.

I will find you. In every world, every universe, every timeline. Nothing will keep me away from you. A thousand years could turn into eons and I would not forget your name, your face, your heart, your love.

She recited the vows they’d made to each other. Airi intended to keep her promise. Would he recognize her? She was sure he would, but she still prayed he did.

‘We’ve been through so much,’ she whispered to him. ‘Lived entire lifetimes. And we still have many more to live.’ 

They have changed, evolved. Transhuman. More than human. 

After every modification, every enhancement, she wondered if there was still any original part of her left. It didn’t matter. As long as there was even a single atom that could call itself hers, it would know him, it would pull her to him. Equal parts love and quantum entanglement.

Airi walked to the other end of the room, to the window that looked toward the city. The neon lights called to her but at present, she had something more important to do.

She sat on the bed, slowly, carefully, and she caressed his face, she couldn’t help it. Metal, metal. Metal on metal and still so soft. The tingling in her fingers told her he must be about to wake up.

What a nice little trick, she thought. This sleeve, her current body, had a neat improvement: her fingertips could detect magnetic fields, maybe even manipulate them. Airi had heard about this particular upgrade, one of the first ones that the transhumanists had accomplished. It was said that a century ago, it would have been considered akin to magic; now, it was one of the most basic modifications anyone could have. It came in handy to tamper with all sorts of machines.

Airi caressed his face again, enjoying the sensation in her fingers. She curled a strand of his long dark hair around her index finger. Long hair would suit him so well, she’d found him a good sleeve.

She leaned closer to him, her lips not an inch away from his. As if this was a fairytale, and he was the slumbering prince.

‘Wake up, my love. Wake up, Aki.’

#aki x airi #akiri verses #♢♡ #[with all my heart] #[i tried to write a cyberpunk au i hope it shows] #[it's based on altered carbon] #[i hope you like it ♡]

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #55 (part one)

Journal Entry #54 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Let me tell you, I think I've had enough stress for this week.

Okay, so I know it's only been a few days since my last update, but stuff has happened. A lot of stuff, actually, and I need to unpack all of it somewhere, so here we are.

Exactly as I predicted, and probably to no one's surprise, Yuri did end up in the hospital again.

A healthy and fit person might be able to go a week or more without food, but somebody whose health is as fragile as Yuri's can't. His body has practically zero reserves, and after a handful of days without eating, it was obvious he was getting weaker and more unwell.

Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to get some nourishment into him, but he wasn't having it. I was getting really worried, and when he woke up the day before yesterday with a fever, it might not be overstating it to say I panicked. I suggested that we should go back to the hospital because I didn't know what else I could do for him, and what really scared me was that he agreed without a debate.

At the urgent care clinic, the doctor who saw him was the same one who'd taken care of him last time, Dr. Shibazaki. She remembered him, and after taking one look at his medical records on the computer, decided on the spot that she'd admit him.

By some weird coincidence, his room turned out to be the same one he'd occupied during his previous stay. It wasn't bad, as far as hospital rooms go. The colour of the walls reminded me of a clear September sky, and there was a window so we could look out at the real sky if we wanted to. During Yuri's last stay, we'd kept the curtain closed most of the time, but I opened it this time to let some sunlight in.

"I'm glad I'm in this room again," Yuri commented as he sat on the bed and changed into pyjamas. "Not really glad, but... you know. I like familiarity."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I'd rather you didn't need to be here, but it is a comfortable room."

"As comfortable as hospital rooms get," he said. "Sorry I'm being so much trouble. Again."

I wanted to tell him he didn't need to apologize, but instead I just said, "Never mind. You're worth the trouble."

I did my best to tuck him into bed with my one good arm, and then I climbed up to snuggle with him. That, at least, was a vast improvement from before. He'd been connected to too much stuff and I'd had both arms encased in Fiberglas, so awkward hospital bed cuddles had been totally off the agenda.

Yuri had only been settled in his room for about half an hour when his specialist turned up. I'm sure we've mentioned her before, but just in case you don't recall, her name is Espérance Kasongo and she's a Canadian like me, but I don't think Canada is her country of origin. Her first language is French, so she has an interesting accent when she speaks Japanese. She speaks English too, though, and that's the language she seems to prefer using with Yuri and me.

Dr. Kasongo is a gastroenterologist — a digestive system doctor, for those of you who don't like big words — and she's been seeing Yuri for about five years now. He likes her a lot more than he liked his previous gastroenterologist, probably because she's gentle with him and treats him with empathy, like a whole person instead of just a vessel for a diseased body part.

Dr. Kasongo is usually gentle with me as well, but at the hospital the other day, I wasn't feeling it. The empathy was still there, but I recognize tough love when I see it, and she definitely wasn't going easy on me.

To be fair to her, she wasn't wrong. She made valid points, and I have no problem acknowledging I needed her to draw my attention to some things. I mean, most of what she said was stuff I already knew but didn't put into perspective until somebody else said it aloud.

After examining Yuri and reviewing the notes Dr. Shibazaki had made, Dr. Kasongo's conclusion was that he was showing all the signs of malnutrition. That didn't really shock me at all. I'm not a medical professional yet, but I'd kinda suspected it for a while.

The doctor said she was going to request bloodwork and some other tests. Yuri didn't seem thrilled about it, but he didn't comment on it like he usually does. He just nodded and said it was fine. I think that worried me more than anything, as strange as it may sound.

Once she'd finished poking and prodding him, Dr. Kasongo sat us both down for a serious talk. She didn't ease into it, either

She led with, "This is very concerning, Yuri. I discharged you on the understanding that you were going to follow the food plan the nutritionist gave you. Now, here you are, back again."

"Here I am," Yuri echoed lamely.

"Can you tell me about what you've been eating?"

He glanced at me, and his expression was one of desperation. Taking pity on him, I said, "We started off okay, but the food plan was a lot, and—"

"Excuse me." The doctor cut me off with a stern look. "I have questions later for you. Right now, I'm asking Yuri."

"I... haven't really been eating much," Yuri told her. "Water. Soy milk. I think I had grape juice yesterday or the day before."

She shook her head. "That is not eating. When was the last time you had solid food?"

"Maybe four days ago?"

"And what was it?"

"Rice."

"Were you having trouble keeping food down?" she asked. "Or was it something else?"

"Something else," Yuri said.

"Do you think you can tell me about it?"

"One of our friends was helping us," he said. "He kept making me feed myself."

The doctor made a noncommittal humming sound. "I see."

"It was stressful," Yuri went on. "I told him I couldn't do it, that it was giving me a lot of anxiety. I don't like eating. I don't like touching food, and sometimes I don't even like looking at food. Having to feed myself while somebody sat there watching to make sure I did it was too much."

"I see," she said again. "If your friend was encouraging you to feed yourself, am I to infer that you were not feeding yourself before?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Somebody else was feeding you?"

"Yes.”

Dr. Kasongo shifted her attention to me. "Victor, were you feeding him?"

"Yeah," I confessed. "I mean, not too much lately, because of my arms, but..." I gestured vaguely with the hand that still had a cast on it. "But... yeah. Me and his parents. It's just easier for everyone that way."

"And how is it easier?" she inquired.

"Because he needs to eat, and it's too hard to watch him struggle with it, especially when he's really sick,"

"So, I'm hearing that it's easier for you if you feed him."

"I... guess so?" I said. "But, it's easier for him too."

"Is it?" she asked. "Yuri, how do you feel when someone feeds you? Does that make it easier for you to eat?"

Yuri fidgeted with the edge of his blanket and looked as though he was attempting to decide on the best way to answer. After several seconds, he ventured, "I suppose it does, in a way. There's less to think about if I don't have to handle the utensils myself, but I still don't like eating."

"Does it produce less anxiety when someone feeds you?" the doctor inquired.

"Anxiety about eating? Yes, a little less, but then I’m anxious about creating too much work for Victor or my mother."

"So, clearly that is not the solution." Dr. Kasongo leaned back in her chair, and seemed to ponder for a moment before she continued. "I may have a better one. Yuri, how would you feel about doing something called nutrition rehabilitation?"

"What's that?" I hadn't meant to speak before Yuri got the chance to answer, but the phrase itself intrigued me and I was immediately curious.

"It's a kind of therapy," the doctor said. "Patients work closely with their doctor and a nutritionist and sometimes a psychologist or psychiarist to develop better nutrition and eating strategies, and to help them have a healthier relationship with food. We use it a lot with patients who have eating disorders, mental health concerns that affect their eating, and of course patients with long-term and chronic illnesses."

Yuri didn't seem happy about this suggestion. "You want me to see a therapist?"

"I want to get you back to where you were last summer," she told him. "I'd like to see you at a healthy weight, with a proper sleep schedule and meal routine, and with enough energy to exercise and work and enjoy your life."

"That'd be great, wouldn't it?" I added. "We had a lot of fun last summer. Remember the rock climbing?"

"Yeah," Yuri said.

“What was your favourite thing about last summer?”

“Going to the Festival of Snow with your mother,” he said. “We were out all day.”

“Ideally, I would like to see you be able to have full days out this summer as well,” said the doctor. "Is that a goal you'd be willing to work toward? Eating independently and stabilizing your routine, and getting back some stamina?"

"I suppose so," he said.

I recalled the conversation between Yuri and his mother. She'd talked about goals too. Yuri hadn't been particularly amenable to goal-setting that day, but now it seemed he might be coming around to it.

"You will have to participate too, Victor," Dr. Kasongo said. "I recognize that you want to help, and I know you've already established some good habits, but there are more changes needed."

“Like what?” I asked.

She looked me straight in the eyes. "No more feeding, for a start. I'm quite serious about that. There can be no exceptions. It may be a difficult adjustment for you, but I think you can see that it isn't helpful to Yuri's recovery."

"Yes, I think I'm seeing that now," I said.

"And no more empty carbohydrates. I take it you are the one who prepares the meals?"

"Yeah."

"You know grape juice is not a meal."

"I know," I said.

"Protein. Healthy fats. Low-fibre fruit and vegetables. Good carbohydrates. I know you know about all those things," she said. "We need to get back on track, and you'll play an important role in that."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

"Excellent," said the doctor. "I think it would also be a good idea for you to attend some sessions with the nutritionist along with Yuri. With your background, you may be more well-informed about health and nutrition than most caregivers, but there's still quite a lot you can learn about the topic in general and, I dare say, about Yuri's needs in particular."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Yuri, you will need to be accountable for yourself as well," she continued. "Just because Victor has the responsibility of planning and preparing meals, that doesn't mean you can let him manage everything. The nutritionist will work with you and teach you how to make good decisions about eating, and I expect you to participate in the meal planning and take control of your own food intake at some point."

"Are you going to check up on me?" Yuri asked, and it was difficult to determine from his tone if he wanted her to or if he didn't. It could've been, 'I'm scared I'll mess it up without support' or it could have been, 'I won't be able to get away with anything if you're monitoring me'. I couldn't tell. I hoped it was the first one, but I feared it was the second.

"Of course I'll be checking on you," she said. "And I've already referred you to an excellent colleague of mine, Dr. Daniel Kim at Willow Creek Regional Hospital. So, after you move, there'll be someone to check your progress straight away when you get there."

I hadn't realized she'd already made a referral. I hadn't told her we were moving, so I had to assume Yuri's parents had told her during his previous hospital stay. It was a good thing somebody had mentioned it, because I'll admit I'd been too preoccupied to think of lining up new doctors for Yuri back home.

"I didn't know international referrals were even a thing," I said.

"I'm not sure they are," said Dr. Kasongo. "Daniel and I were in medical school together, and we both chose the same specialty. We've been great friends for a long time and naturally we keep in touch. I asked him for a favour, and fortunately for you, he was glad to do it." She gave me a conspiratorial little grin. "Something for a fellow resident of the Creek."

I stared for a second. "You're from Willow Creek?"

"Not originally, but when my family immigrated to Canada and settled there, I was too young to remember living anywhere else before that. I always say I had my humble beginnings in the Willow Creek Trailer Park. Not doing so bad for myself now, am I?"

"If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been in Japan?"

"About fifteen years," she said. "A few more than you, I think."

"I've been here for two, but it's time to go home."

"I understand. You must follow the path that's right for you." She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, but quickly got back to business. "Do you have any questions about what we've discussed so far?"

"I do have one," I said. "I agree with the plan. It sounds like a good idea to me, but how long do you think it'll take? Like, this isn't an immediate solution to the problem of Yuri not being able to eat."

"How long it takes will depend largely on Yuri, and also on you," she replied. "You will need to support him throughout the process, regardless of how difficult it is or how long it may take. And Yuri, I want you to understand that no one expects you to get better within days or even a few weeks. If you make quick progress, that's good, but slow, steady progress is equally good, and no one will judge you for setbacks. This may not be a strictly linear process, and I want you both to be prepared for that."

"I understand," Yuri said. "But, I don't think you really answered Victor's question."

"About an immediate solution?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "What are we supposed to do until this nutrition rehabilitation therapy kicks in and we start seeing results? Like, he's literally starving right now, and... yeah. Sorry. You don't need me to point that out, but..." I trailed off, stopping just short of telling her how freaked out I was about the way-too-real possibility of Yuri starving himself to death.

Yuri put a hand to his mouth, as if he were feeling nauseous. His voice came out slightly strained. "Please don't say meal replacement drinks."

"No meal replacement drinks today," the doctor assured him. "Because of your overall health at the moment, I think we should begin a nutrient infusion today, and once I have all the results from the tests we're going to do, we might discuss some form of enteral nutrition after that."

I felt my heart sink at hearing her words. "You mean a feeding tube."

That was the thing I'd hoped we could avoid. I know Yuri's parents were not entirely in favour of it either, and thought it was a drastic measure.

"Yes," she said. "Yuri, unless you're willing to start drinking meal replacements or eating some soft foods within the next few days, then that would be my recommendation."

Yuri shook his head. "I... I can't. Putting anything in my mouth right now is... I just can't."

"All right," Dr. Kasongo conceded. "Perhaps you'll feel differently about it tomorrow."

"I don't think so," Yuri said.

"I'll ask you in the morning," she told him. "For now, we'll get started with your bloodwork and antibody tests, and I'll do my best to arrange an imaging test for you for this afternoon so we can see what's going on inside you. Once we have all that, we can talk about next steps. Does that sound acceptable?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Victor?"

I could barely breathe around the lump that'd suddenly formed in my throat, but somehow I got out a strained, "Uh… yeah."

There wasn't any other suitable response I could give anyway.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #victor and yuri #tw hospital #tw chronic illness #tw starvation #stargazersims

[the-void-writes]

78

Ooh, this one made me really happy so thank you 💖💖💖 I think I accidentally changed the context of the song by making it platonic, but the vibes of it are huge inspo lol. Also I can’t remember if I’ve posted this part of the story before, but I rewrote it a bit so that should be fine.

Freaks of Preston - Lost On You

Bluebrook Memorial was a large plot of garden tucked away in the furthest corner of Preston, right where the town blended into the forest. Originally, the memorial was just a plain cemetery, sectioned in half to accommodate Humans and Freaks to “keep the dead from rising,” or whatever the ridiculous rumor was at the time. Of course, as Preston started burying more Freaks than Humans, it was impossible to keep the plots separate. Landscapers took the opportunity to brighten the whole place up with rose bushes and ponds, so visiting Humans didn’t have to think about sharing the park.

They weren’t so concerned about it, though, after a certain death in Preston…

Will followed the stone trail through a tunnel of willows. The flowers in his hand still felt wet from their time in the market, freshly misted by the clerks. Lydia strolled behind him, burying her nose into her jacket like a makeshift mask.

“I swear,” she said, “the smell gets stronger each time we come here.”

“Makes sense,” Will said. “If the flowers weren’t here, you’d be smelling something else.”

“Right, gross.” She shook her head. “Still, you’d think they’d choose something more pleasant.”

“I think you’re the only person I know who hates the smell of flowers.”

“I like real flowers, not whatever these things are. They’ve got chemicals and stuff.”

“Well, it can’t smell any worse than that raccoon Maddie brought home yesterday.”

“You thought that was a raccoon? With that skinny little tail? That was a possum.”

Will shook his head. “It’s not the same head shape.”

“What, you think Maddie took the time to shave a raccoon’s tail before taking it home?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her.”

Lydia sighed and ran a hand through her tangled orange hair. “I still say possum.”

“Suit yourself,” Will said with a shrug.

“Really, you’re just giving up?”

“I don’t feel like arguing with someone who thinks the sun is smaller than Earth.”

Lydia glared at him. “Hey, I was young. I understand now.”

Will couldn’t help but smile. “You do?”

“It’s just the distance that makes it small.” She posed triumphantly. “So technically, it’s the same size as the moon.”

He laughed and walked ahead of her. Lydia chased after him.

“Take their pictures, they’re the same size!”

The siblings took a turn past a cozy little garden of succulents. At the end of the path, under the overgrown moss of a giant tree, sat the grave they were looking for. The busy sounds of Preston were almost nonexistent in this corner of the park, blocked off by unruly clusters of ivy and thorns. It was a beautiful location, but Will always felt his chest tighten whenever he neared it, like he was caught in a vice.

In the last few years, he had visited the grave many times, a vast improvement from the whole days he spent when they first laid down the body six years ago. As a child, Will had even slept beside the grave, in the crook of the tree’s roots that surrounded him like large bird wings.

Will stopped, placed his flowers in the special vase, and read the stone marker.

Jason Theodore Rhodes

August 27 1974 - June 2 2007

Always and Forever

It was a nice headstone, all smooth and polished, though Will was still upset about the name. He and Henry had fought so hard to make it “Jason Prescott,” but the engravers insisted on using his legal name, regardless of the fact that he was disowned by his parents. For people who wanted nothing to do with him, they refused to let anyone else have the final say in his funeral arrangements. They wouldn’t even believe he was a godfather, at first, until Mary straightened them out. Their compromise was to let Will choose the epitaph, the one part that his parents didn’t care about. Always and forever… It seemed like a joke now, but he valued those words deeply.

Lydia patted the stone softly. “Hey, Jason. We miss you.”

Will took a deep breath. He had done this dozens of times, but that didn’t stop the tears that threatened to run down his face. Lydia smiled at him.

“I’ll be over there,” she said. “Take your time.”

“Thank you.”

She walked back down the path, leaving Will with the headstone of his dearest friend. The clouds felt dark over his head as he stood over the spot. Gloomy weather, Jason would have called it, the perfect time to be sad. Even the birds were in mourning around him. Their chirps were akin to someone in hysterics— laughter turning into sobs, back and forth until they finally fell silent.

Will let himself speak, his voice unable to move past a whisper.

“We’ve started choosing our classes for next year. One of our science teachers is offering astronomy. You’d be so jealous.”

He chuckled to himself, already blinking back tears.

“Henry and I found a recipe for mint chocolate cake. I still don’t know if it’s the icing or the cake that’s mint.” He shrugged. “Thought it would be nice for your birthday.”

Will reached out and brushed some dirt off of the headstone. His hand lingered against it, as though it would disappear the minute he moved away.

“You were the best father in the whole world, Jace. I just wish we had more time… I’m so sorry.”

He could see Jason in his mind, smiling softly, telling him to cheer up. Not in the condescending way that most adults said it, but in the kind and sincere way that only he seemed capable of. Will let his hand fall to his side, and he walked back over to Lydia, who was eagerly watching a ladybug.

“All good?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

She stood up and swung her arm around his shoulder. “You’re doing better, you know. We’re all proud of you… and he would be, too.”

“Thanks, Lyds.”

“Come on, let’s go grab Maddie and head home. She’ll prove that I’m right about the sun.”

Will smiled weakly. “Whatever you say.”

He let her drag him back down the path into town, listening patiently as she continued to explain how she was right. She was as goofy as she had been all those years ago, but Will was just happy to still have her in his life. He prayed that he wouldn’t lose her— or the rest of their family— the same way he lost Jason.

#writeblr #ask games #wip: freaks of preston