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#source: Whose Line Is It Anyway
dcau-incorrect-quotes · 4 months
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Zag: Can you smoke in here?
Gabby: Only if you’re on fire.
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wilburytwist · 2 years
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Jeff: have you thought this through?
George: well... no.
George: but as the band leader I must appear as if I had!
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weirdkev27 · 2 years
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Gadget: Chip, I’m pregnant!
Chip: :)
Gadget: Meet the father! *pulls out Zipper*
Chip: :0
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spacewarriorsam · 1 month
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Jay: Quick! I need an unlikely superhero name for Michael!
(Claire, Kady, and Junior didn’t have an idea as they were pondering which name to give. Then Junior chimed in)
Junior: CAPTAIN HAIR!
(Michael glared at his only son)
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Ahsoka: Ah, I am a woman!
Rex: Have you not noticed?
Ahsoka: No I've been too busy shouting!
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incorrectuksies · 10 months
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henry: what’s the best way to start a fight?
albert: “you guys wanna fight?”
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Giles Grimm: In five minutes, we break out the liquor.
Cheshire Cat: I’m the Liquor
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peupeugunn · 1 year
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[his first time at a downworld cabinet meeting]
simon, looking around, visibly confused:
simon: there's not a single cabinet in here
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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NB: i add image descriptions to posts when i feel up to it, for walking-my-accessibility-talk reasons, but i don't claim to be particularly expert at it, and i'm always open to feedback about ways my image descriptions could be improved! that said: please don't actively delete image descriptions i've added to posts you reblog from me. if you feel the need to excise my contribution for whatever reason, you can reblog the post from a different source. thanks!
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*After Zag got hit in the head*
Jonah, moving his fingers: How many fingers am I holding up?
Zag, dazed: Three?
Jonah: Close enough.
Zag, flipping Jonah off: How about me?
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Hi!!! Would it be okay if I requested a worried head cannon for Astarion(Or Wyll or Halsin, I’m fine with any of them) where they lost track of Tav while on a scouting/stealth mission or on the battlefield? Thank you!
A/N: I went with losing track of their Tav on a stealth mission because that seemed the most anxiety-inducing… lol. Poor boys. Sorry, it’s not my best, I was rushing :( 
✧ Losing Track of Their Tav on A Stealth Mission ✧
Astarion: 
The most likely to panic, even though he swears he’d be the last to do so. 
He’s running all the worst-case scenarios through his head: you’ve been killed, you’ve been captured, you’re being enslaved just like he is…
Immediately jumps to the worry that Cazador or someone working for him has realized the two of you are together and plans to get to him through you.
He considers getting one of his companion’s attention but ultimately decides to continue sneaking in alone. He’s pretty good at sneaking, and the others could screw it up. He can’t leave your fate in the hands of someone klutzy like Gale accidentally casting fireball and alerting everyone to their presence. 
If he wasn’t intent on killing anyone in his way, he is now. They mean nothing to him. You mean everything to him. Do the math. You > Them. 
Definitely ends up compromising the mission, by either getting seen and alerting everyone or by causing enough chaos and death that people begin to notice. But none of that matters anymore to Astarion, whose only goal is finding you. Of course, if anyone else was to make that mistake, he’d chew them out for it. But he can’t see how hypocritical he’s being: all he can think about is your safety. 
When he finds you, he masks his fear with anger. He calls you an idiot, a fool- every name in the book. He doesn’t intend to hurt your feelings, he just doesn’t like how his affection for you puts him in a vulnerable place. He was terrified of losing you. The fear of that greatly outweighs the fear of the tadpole. 
He’ll get you away from there, away from everyone else. He can’t trust the strangers of Baldur’s Gate, and he doesn’t want his companions to see him this emotional. 
After the two of you are back to safety, and after he finishes berating you, he yanks you into a tight hug, refusing to let go. 
You tell him you’re sorry, and that it’s over now and you inform him it’s okay to let it out. Be prepared for the shoulder of your top to become soaked in tears. He’ll cry into you, telling you in between sobs how you were the first person in forever to see him as an equal. He needs you. You are the only one who sees him. He can’t lose you. 
After he’s calmed down, he’ll try to lighten the mood with a joke. Something about also being afraid to lose his very own privately stocked food source. Of course, you see right through the facade. You let him feed after that comment anyway, softly petting his hair as he does so. 
And even though normally while feeding, he’d be comforting you, telling you it’s alright, that it’s almost over- you end up comforting him, shushing him, and telling him the two of you will be okay- you’re not going anywhere. 
Wyll: 
Probably the most level-headed in his reaction, even if his thoughts are racing like mad. As the Blade of Frontiers, he’s learned how to think strategically in most situations. Of course, that’s easier said than done when someone you know and love is personally on the line. 
He’s figuring out all the possibilities, working out how likely each one is, in order to figure out which avenues to first explore. 
He continues on his own before remembering he’s not acting solo anymore. He’ll round back to where the others are stationed, and give them the news. He tells them the mission’s priorities have changed, and the goal for now is to find you. 
He doesn’t plan on completely abandoning the original job of course. He intends to get right back to business. He can keep both ideas in his head
Tries his best not to blow the original mission while looking for you. Of course, when push comes to shove, he’s going to choose you. The mission can be tried again at a later time: he can’t lose you. He’s lost too much in this life to accept having to part with another. 
If he has no leads and it's been a while, and he’s growing increasingly nervous, he might consider calling Mizora and asking for her help, even though he knows it’s going to cost him more years of servitude. Having to work for a devil is much more bearable when there’s someone you love. He’d make a thousand deals if it meant you’d stay safe. 
Once he finds you, he’ll quickly ask if you’re alright, before ushering everyone out. He wants nothing more than to speak to you freely, but he knows right then isn't the time to do it. 
After you are safely far enough away, either back at camp, or somewhere secluded, he’ll firmly but kindly demand to know what the hell you were thinking, sneaking off like that?! He wants you to know he was worried, dammit! He loves you! Can’t you see how much losing you would hurt him? 
He’ll take you into his arms and place a soft kiss on your forehead. You are so precious to him. Please, please, he asks, be more careful. 
He vows to be at your side for any future stealth missions. He loves how brave you are, and how much you want to protect him. Just let him protect you in return. 
Halsin: 
Halsin probably reacts the least because he has the most faith that you’ll be okay. He sees you as his savior- a savior of his people, of the grove, of the tieflings- you are the most incredible person to him. 
That being said, he’s not going to simply do nothing if he thinks you’ve run into trouble. You mean so much to him, of course he’s going to change courses and instead go search for you! 
He’s also going to rope the others into helping him. I mean, he’s not forcing them or anything, but he does regroup and tell the others of his concerns. He’s very calm and level-headed, but also quite determined, so the others have few qualms about switching gears and following him. 
He’s also the most adept at staying hidden while looking for you, being able to wild shape into an inconspicuous animal like a cat or a rat or a bird. He uses his druid abilities to his advantage, steering clear of confrontation as he makes a beeline to where your scent takes him. 
Once he finds you, if you yourself haven't been discovered and taken, he’ll stay in animal form, and carefully guide you to a reliable exit. However, if you’ve already been caught, be prepared for things to get hairy. (Get it? Hairy?) 
He will not hesitate to shift into a big-ass bear and rip people’s throats out as he carries you on his back to safety. Even though this makes him a much more large and obvious target, he’ll do it, if it means keeping you protected. Any hits or damage he can take, he can heal from, all the less pain you have to endure. 
He absolutely brings you somewhere outside of the city. He feels safest in nature, and in order to calm down, he needs free-flowing nature, which is hard to come by in Baldur’s Gate.
He’s going to squish you- even if you’re bigger than him. He’ll lay you down gently, before resting on top of you, keeping balanced so that you don’t have to support all of his weight. He needs to be close to you, preferably with skin-to-skin contact. He needs your warmth, your smell, the softness of your skin… It centers him and brings him back down to earth. 
He’ll voice his worries while simultaneously complimenting your skill. He doesn't want you to feel incapable, but he must let you know how he felt in that moment when he feared you were hurt or worse. 
You are his light, you brought him out of the shadows. And he can’t bear to lose you. Please, don’t fade away. Don’t leave him in darkness once more. 
...
Please Like & Reblog!!!
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thydungeongal · 3 months
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The term "terrorism" is extremely loaded in its application, because while the generally accepted definition simply states that it's the use of violence to inspire fear, especially when targeted towards a civilian population, to achieve political aims, in actual fact in most discourse the way it gets applied is to distinguish between legitimate violence used by the militaries of the good states versus the illegitimate violence used by bad states or non-state actors, despite the actual methods used. It's important to note that the term "terrorism" itself is entirely without value judgement, but in popular discourse it's effectively "bad violence done by bad people."
This is important because the actions of many states whose violence is often legitimized can easily be seen through the lens of terrorism, but the term gets applied extremely selectively. The United States' use of nuclear bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki is one example: it specifically targeted civilian populations with the intent of speeding up the resolution of the war (whether it was politically necessary when a lot of sources indicate that the Japanese were already willing to talk peace is arguable; in my opinion, regardless of political necessity, it was ultimately morally indefensible), so it effectively was the use of military power with the intent of causing fear. Similarly, the shock and awe campaign on Baghdad as part of the 2003 invasion of Iraq could easily be framed as terrorism used by a state military. But in actual discourse this parallel is very rarely drawn, because terrorism is bad violence used by illegitimate actors and shock and awe tactics are just normal.
We have state militaries using social media to communicate to civilians that their only intent is to strike fear as they launch another air strike which wipes out civilian infrastructure and results in untold civilian casualties. But it is not generally talked about as state terror. We have people living under constant military rule or siege, constantly subjected to the fear of the occupying military force driving them out of their homes to make room for more settlers. Civilian infrastructure is often targeted to make life a living hell. Supply lines are disrupted, up to and including the prevention of aid, to make living conditions inhospitable. But as long as it's done by a legitimized state actor, it does not count as terrorism. (Having said that, violent resistance against occupation or state violence is often described as terrorism.)
Anyway, you know which state does get regularly framed as doing a terrorism? Russia. And I don't think that's inaccurate, as the Russian invasion of Ukraine has definitely hinged on using violence which often indiscriminately targets the civilian population to instill fear and to further their military goals. And many people frame this as the doing of a rogue terrorist state.
But that word "rogue" is important here, because a lot of well-meaning people keep using it to imply that the state doing the violence isn't legitimate. I personally don't think the legitimacy or statehood of a given actor is a useful metric in how to judge their actions. States are often used to grant legitimacy to violence. To illegitimize state violence the easiest trick is to argue that the state is somehow illegitimate. "Good," legitimate states only do shock and awe. "Bad," rogue states do state terrorism. In fact, the denial of statehood from one's enemies can be a useful tactic in illegitimizing their resistance while legitimizing the use of state violence to quell resistance. It allows one to paint the enemy as an unruly mob that needs to be contained by the legitimate institutions of the state.
The violence done by state actors is not automatically legitimate, and in fact statehood can often be used to argue for the legitimacy of violence. The violence done by non-state actors is not automatically illegitimate, and while non-state actors can often engage in violent acts comparable to state terror, non-state violence can often emerge as a legitimate reaction to state violence.
This is all good to keep in mind when looking into discourse that circles around terrorism and the legitimacy/illegitimacy of violence by various actors. Terrorism itself is an extremely charged term in its application and how selectively it is applied.
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artbyblastweave · 2 months
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Okay, Time for that belated Shrinking Rae post-
In the comics, Shrinking Ray's "arc" (bearing in mind an extremely liberal definition of that term, they had exactly one scene showcasing this) was that he was implied to be developing an inferiority complex; he's not necessarily incompetent, but he's out of his niche, his clever shrinking-based plans kept getting upstaged by brute-force solutions from the more conventionally powerful heroes like Invincible. He's the scrawny, nerdy little guy with the joke powers, he never gets a win, and in most fights he literally isn't visible. In the fight with the Lizard League his death is framed as pathetic and ineffectual- there's one or two panels between "I'll make you pay!" and getting eaten alive by Komodo. All of this is doing a couple of things- it's emphasizing that again, this is in fact a story and setting where superheroes sometimes just die really badly with limited fanfare- a thing that IIRC hadn't happened since the original Guardians team wipe in issue 7. Second, it's an indicator that the new Guardians are structurally kind of on the ropes. They're heavily staffed by second stringers, they exact second they have to split their forces they suffer a 66 percent casualty rate, and that's with backing from two capes who aren't actually part of the team. Grim! Anyway, when they do the adaptation Shrinking Ray becomes Shrinking Rae, because they want to tweak the gender balance of the cast and the pun is too good to pass up. But I think that there was a reasonable reluctance to transfer the "arc" from the comics one-to-one, because to be blunt, "Ineffectual Nebbish Glasses-wearer who whines a lot and dies pathetically," paired with absolutely nothing else, is gonna read as misogynistic if the character is a woman now. So in the adaptation Rae is markedly more competent. We're introduced to her taking down a much larger opponent by fucking around inside his ear canal, which becomes a favored trick of hers. There are traces of the self-esteem thing- the visual gag where she physically shrinks about a foot when getting chewed out in the briefing- but the overall throughline isn't "look at this loser who somehow ended up on the guardians." In the Lizard League fight, she doesn't get eaten- she's deliberately trying to execute a Thanus maneuver and just fucks it up, seconds after successfully killing a different villain the same way. And there's a second where it looks like it might work, too, before hope is cruelly yanked away. Which makes for a markedly cooler death scene- but who died? What was actually going on with her? Anything? In some sense she's cooler, but it's kind of an undifferentiated cool. She had what, Six lines? Seven? On balance I think Rae is still doing her fundamental job in the story, which is to pad the Guardians roster for a while and have someone who actually dies and stays dead as a result of the Lizard League fight- but I think they definitely missed an opportunity to give her some more texture than her comic counterpart had. Part of me thinks that the show would have been a good place to go even harder on Shrinking Rae being in over her head, but in a considered way, to emphasize that the Guardians aren't well managed- maybe tie it into the tensions between Robot and Immortal regarding sustainable team management practices. Part of me thinks you should go the other way, that if you're gonna do away with the idea she's underwhelming you should blow up her role, have her actually say and do some things that affect the story or the team dynamic in any noticeable way, because as it stands she's kind of visibly siloed as the designated mauve shirt. I'm definitely of one mind that this showcases something I suspected was gonna bite the show in the ass, which is that they're (laudably) diversifying a secondary and tertiary cast whose main role in the source material is often to die badly or fade out of focus.
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spacewarriorsam · 1 month
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Max: I need an unlikely superhero name for me!
(Nobody else had an idea)
Billy: CAPTAIN HAIR!
(Max glares at Billy)
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