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elizaditton · 2 months

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Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 14)

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I stare at my deskmate's hand, dumbfounded. What is he expecting me to do, exactly?

"Well, come on!" Derrick says with a smile. "What are you waiting for?"

"Well, I, um..." I cock my head to the side, as if that would help me have a better understanding of the sight in front of me. "I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do."

"What do you mean?" My deskmate chuckles. "Haven't you ever walked onto someone's hand before?"

I slowly lift my head to peek up at my deskmate, and rub my arm as I shift my gaze back to the balcony floor. He really expects me to have done this?

Derrick frowns. "You haven't, have you?"

I shake my head. "No, I haven't. In fact... you're the only perthean who's ever held me before."

Derrick slowly retracts his hand from the balcony, his brows shifting upward. He blinks.

"What?" I ask.

"I... I don't know, it's just..." my deskmate says, looking down as he twiddles his thumbs. "I'm honored that you'd let me be the first perthean to hold you."

"It's not like I really had a choice, being forced to come to this school and all," I sigh. "You just happened to be the first that I couldn't avoid."

"You were forced to come to this school?" Derrick asks, his eyes widening.

"Yeah," I say with a shrug as Dad's lies about the move come to mind. "It's a long story."

"Well, whether you were forced to interact with me or not," Derrick says, tucking his arms by his sides and clenching his fists excitedly, "I'll do my best to live up to the honor of being the first perthean to hold you!"

I let out a nervous laugh. I didn't realize he'd be so excited to find this out.

"But anyway, once again returning to the matter at hand—my hand, that is," Derrick says.

My heart rate picks up again as Derrick moves his hand back towards the balcony. I don't stumble backwards this time, but I'm surprised that my insides are still churning at the sight of his nearing hand—especially since I was expecting it to approach.

The enormous leathery surface settles down before me, with each of its attached digits curling inward ever so slightly. I approach my deskmate's hand cautiously, as if it were a venus flytrap ready to snatch me up at a moment's notice.

"Now, you said you weren't sure what you were supposed to do?" Derrick asks.

I raise my foot and dangle it over my deskmate's hand, only to nearly lose my balance and stumble back onto the balcony. Do I really not know how to do this?

"I haven't the slightest clue. And besides, isn't this..." I sigh, biting down on my lip and rubbing the back of my neck. "You know, a little too casual?"

"Too casual?" Derrick blinks a few times and raises an eyebrow. "Kaylin, we are friends, right?"

"Of course!" I blurt out, quickly waving my hands. "I didn't mean to say we weren't! It's just that we've only used a formal form of handling etiquette up until this point, and... well..."

"Yes? What is it?"

"I... well... I don't really know how you expect me to get onto your hand. I guess that makes me pretty stupid, huh?" I say, hanging my head.

"You're not stupid. You just need a little guidance, that's all," Derrick says with a smile. "Now, there's something I want you to know. Because we're friends, I don't care how it is you manage to get onto my hand. You can run, crawl, jump, or fall into my hand and I wouldn't mind it in the slightest."

I look up at my deskmate, astounded. I thought any perthean would be particular about how a human gets onto their hand. He really doesn't care how I approach this?

"Generally speaking, though," Derrick says, "when a perthean offers you their hand this way, you're expected to respond like this."

Derrick lifts his other hand and moves it towards me, causing my muscles to immediately tense up. What's he doing now?! Is he going to grab me?!

I quickly back away from his hands until I'm flat against the wall. My heart, beating faster and faster, sinks deep in my chest. As my knees buckle beneath me, I find myself slumping against the wall, it being the only thing left holding me up. Derrick's eyes widen, and he immediately retracts both of his hands.

"Hey," he whispers. "Kaylin, are you—"

I slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the balcony floor. I hide my head behind my knees and wrap my arms around my legs. I shut my eyes tightly as they begin to tingle and glaze over, but hot tears manage to leak from them anyway.

"I can't do this, Derrick!" I sniffle. "I can't keep myself from fearing for my life whenever you reach for me! All I think about is...! Is...!"

With my head buried into my knees, my vision is completely black. My mind's eye, however, is painting pictures of the man from my nightmares. A tall, slim figure with a bit of a tan. Slightly muscular. Clean shaven with a small scar on his left cheek. He has dark brown hair and narrowed brown eyes. He wears a white t-shirt with a few dirt stains, and wrapping around his dark blue jeans at the hips is a black belt with a silver chain. Beneath him is a pair of dirty, beaten up white sneakers.

He seemed so unassuming when I first peered at him from the corner of that alleyway. I was so naive! I had no idea what he—no, what pertheans were capable of until—

"Kaylin," Derrick whispers. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I know you're not ready to tell me what started your fear, and I want you to know that's okay with me."

I sniffle again, and with shaking hands, I wipe the tears from my eyes before reluctantly looking up at my deskmate. His blue eyes are soft with compassion, and his brows are upturned in sympathy.

"Since you were forced to come to this school, you didn't get to choose whether or not you wanted to trust me. So now, I want to ask you..." his voice trails off, and he shifts his gaze to the ground. He takes a deep breath in and out before looking back at me. "Will you make the choice now?"

My lip trembles as I sit up in my spot against the wall. "Make... the choice?" I manage, my voice cracking.

Derrick keeps his eyes fixated on me and slowly lifts his left hand towards me. His index finger is bent to the side, as if to initiate balcony etiquette. His hand passes the balcony railing, but doesn't come any closer to me. I stare at it, confused. What's he getting at?

"Kaylin, will you make the choice to trust me?"

My heart rocks against my chest and my legs begin to go numb. "How can I do that when I'm filled with so much fear?" I ask.

"Trust is an action. It's not something you feel, but rather something you choose to do in spite of your feelings." Derrick smiles softly, tilting his head to the side. "Will you trust me?"

I blink, slowly rising to my feet with trembling legs. The breeze picks up, blowing through my hair and giving me goose bumps from the chill. I hug myself tightly, partly because of the cold and partly because of the burning anxiety deep in my core. My pulse quickens, warning me to stay away from this perthean lest I get hurt—yet I find myself, for whatever reason, approaching the hand in front of me.

Derrick remains silent. I look back up at him, his smile still stretched from ear to ear. All at once, his eyes narrow, turning brown, and a scar appears over his left cheek. I slam my eyes shut, quickly sucking in a breath and blowing it out, before opening one eye to peek up at my deskmate. His blue eyes have returned to normal, and there's no scar on his cheek. I look back at his hand, cautiously tiptoeing towards it as my insides convulse and the world around me begins to spin.

Once I'm close enough, I reach a hand out towards my deskmate's index finger, only to pull it back towards myself out of uncertainty. Can I really do this? Can I really trust a perthean?

I place one hand on my deskmate's finger, and then another. I stand in place, breathless and at a loss for words. It takes all the strength I have left to look Derrick in the eyes.

"I will," I manage to say at last.

My deskmate sighs joyfully, and his eyes soften as if smiling themselves.

"Okay," he whispers.

Seeing the glee on Derrick's face gives me the courage to smile back at him. Now that I've made the choice to trust him, I can't help but wonder what comes next.

"Do you want to try walking onto my hand again?" he asks.

I recall the moment Derrick's hand approached me without warning, shivers running down my spine.

"Don't worry," he says. "I'll alert you before I reach for you from now on."

I nod, and Derrick lays his hand down palm side up on the balcony. I bite the inside of my cheek as my legs squirm beneath me, begging me to run away. I made the choice to trust Derrick, I'm not running away!

"Now, I was going to show you how humans are generally expected to react in response to an open palm. May I see your hand?" Derrick asks.

My heart skips a beat. What does he want my hand for? Still shaking where I stand, I gulp, and reluctantly offer up my right hand. I become lightheaded when Derrick takes my hand in between his fingertips. Closing my eyes, I attempt to steady my breathing. I've made my decision. I'm going to trust my deskmate.

Derrick leads me toward his open palm with a gentle tug, and places my hand on his thumb.

"There," he says, letting go of me. "Use my thumb as a support to get onto my hand."

My eyes widen as I gaze at the intricacies of his thumbprint—each curve and crevice forming a uniquely detailed pattern. I spread out my fingers. My hand doesn't even cover a fraction of the print, it's so... little. I stand there in awe, completely mesmerized by the sight in front of me as my cheeks become warmer and warmer.

"Is something wrong?" Derrick asks.

"N-no! Nothing's wrong!" I sputter, embarrassed that I'd been staring at my deskmate's thumbprint for so long.

I press down on Derrick's thumb with nearly all of my strength. It doesn't move an inch. I look toward the palm of his hand, and, using his thumb for support, I manage to lift one leg and plant it on the fleshy surface in front of me. I push off from Derrick's thumb and leap forward into his hand, only to trip on the squishy surface beneath my feet and fall flat on my face!

Derrick gasps. "Are you okay?"

I push against the skin beneath me and manage to get up onto my knees. I nod, my face completely red.

"We'll work on this," my deskmate says, lifting his hand from the balcony and closer to his chest.

"So, um..." I start, my gaze fixed on the palm I'm in. I'm interrupted, however, by a large finger lifting my head until my eyes meet Derrick's.

"Lesson two," Derrick says, "you should always try to look a perthean in the eyes when you speak to them. This makes it easier for us to hear you and perceive your emotions."

"O-oh, okay," I murmur, shivering.

Derrick smiles. "Now, what were you going to say?"

"Oh, I was just about to ask what happens now."

Derrick gazes off into the distance, his brows furrowed in thought. Did he not think he'd get this far?

"I was thinking we could just sit and talk for a while," he says, looking back at me.

"Talk?" I ask. "About what?"

"Anything," Derrick says, moving beside the balcony.

I sway from side to side in my deskmate's hand as he walks. I've gotten more accustomed to this with each passing school day, so I don't have to steady myself as much anymore. But when Derrick lowers himself to sit on the ground, I let out a yelp as the quick motion catches me completely off guard! My insides flip upside down, and I try my hardest to keep from losing my lunch.

"Sorry! Was that too quick?" Derrick asks.

"A little," I squeak, wondering what I've really gotten myself into by agreeing to meet back here with this guy.

"Sorry. I'll try to be more gentle," he says. "So... what do you want to talk about?"

"You're the one who wanted to meet back here in the first place. Shouldn't you be coming up with the ideas?" I ask.

I pick at my nails, keeping my gaze away from Derrick's. Once again, a large finger lifts my head until my eyes are locked with my deskmate's. I can't help but shudder as we glance at each other. Will I ever get used to the weight of his stare?

Derrick smiles reassuringly. "Alright," he says. "Let's talk about you."

My heart skips a beat as blood rushes to my cheeks. "What?! Why me?!" I ask.

"Hey, you said I should be the one coming up with the ideas!" Derrick laughs. "And besides... ever since we became deskmates, I've been curious to learn more about you."

I cross my arms and hang my head low to hide that I'm now blushing even harder. I've always hated talking about myself, it's so embarrassing! I'm not even that interesting!

"Come on," Derrick says, lifting me up to be eye level with him. "Can't you at least tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"I-I—" I stutter, trying to come up with any way to get myself out of this, only to sigh in defeat. "Okay."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Once Derrick and I got to talking, the time flew by. I told him a bit about the move, and he was surprised to hear that Dad and I traveled nearly 900 roams from Maedri to Chancelor. That's about 15,000 miles, which would feel like around 18,000 roams for a perthean. He asked why we would move that far, and I filled him in on how Dad really wanted me to go to his old high school. Thinking through it all again, it really doesn't make much sense. But, then again, neither does my dad.

Derrick told me a little bit about himself, too. He told me he lives with both of his parents, and that he has an identical twin brother who is away for university on Erimathea. I asked why they weren't in the same stage for school if they were the same age, and he mentioned something about his brother being able to graduate early. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with the topic, though, so I didn't push it much.

Before we knew it, we'd been talking behind the school for well over an hour. The funny thing is, the longer I spent in Derrick's hands, the easier it became to talk to him. I found myself trembling less and less over time, and I was able to maintain eye contact for most of our conversation.

"With exposure and with time," I recall Dad saying, "things can get better."

I shake the memory away. Sure, this meet up with Derrick is helping, but it wasn't Dad's idea!

"Uh-oh," Derrick says, glancing at his phone. "It's nearly 5 o'clock."

I let out a gasp as my eyes widen with realization. Dad's going to be expecting me home any minute now! I don't want him wondering where I've been! How in the world would I explain Derrick trying to help me with my fear? I can already see the smile on Dad's face. I can already hear him telling me how he knew sending me to this school would be a good decision. I can't just let him win, can I?

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Derrick asks.

"I... well," I stammer, not sure how to explain my situation. "My dad's going to be expecting me any minute now, and it usually takes me over an hour to walk home from here!"

"Really? Do you live far from here?"

"I think it's a bit far from here," I say, trying to mentally calculate the distance based on how long my walk home usually is. "I live at the human apartment building on Seren Avenue."

Derrick blinks. "Are you serious?"

"W-what?" I ask, a shudder running down my spine.

"That's right around the corner from here! That's not far at all," Derrick chuckles.

"Well, for you it might not be, but—!"

"I know, I know," Derrick says. "It's twenty times the distance for you."

I rub my arm. "I just don't know how I'm going to explain this to my dad," I mutter. "If he finds out we met up because of my fear, or that we hung out at all... I feel like he's going to hold that over my head."

My deskmate hums, leaning back against the wall. "I might have an idea," he says with a smile, lifting me to his eyes.

"Y-you do?" I stutter, still not used to when he holds me close to his face like this.

"Are you ready for your next assignment?" he asks.

"That depends," I say, scooting back a little in his palm. "what is it?"

"Will you let me walk you home?" He asks. "In favor of taking another step towards overcoming your fear?"

"I-I don't know..."

"Come on! What do you have to lose?"

I look into my deskmate's round blue eyes. I can't tell if he's encouraging me or pleading with me at this point, but does my answer even matter? He already knows where I live, so he can take me home whether I want him to or not. I guess it's good that he's asking, but... is this really a good idea? What will people think of a boy walking a girl home? What if the perthean lobby receptionist at the apartment sees us and tries to strike up another conversation? What if she tells Dad a perthean boy walked his daughter home? What will Dad think of Derrick walking me home? Ugh, he'd probably be ecstatic to see me getting along with my deskmate...

I take a deep breath and let it out. "Okay," I say. What could really go wrong?

"Alright!" Derrick says cheerfully, leaning forward to stand up.

"P-please be careful!" I plead in fear of being knocked about.

"I will," he says, being surprisingly gentle as he rises to his feet. "Now, Seren... Seren... that would be this way."

I sway around in my deskmate's hand with each step he takes. I keep my head down to prevent myself from getting nauseous, but I can tell when Derrick rounds a few corners and ends up on the sidewalk beyond the school grounds.

"We're almost there," he says.

"What? We just left!"

"It's that white building, right? About three blocks down?" Derrick asks, pointing to a small building far off in the distance.

I remember seeing pictures of the outside of the apartment online, and I guess it sort of looks like the building my deskmate is pointing to, but I can't really tell from this distance.

"Even if that's the right place, it's still going to take you at least a half hour to get there from here," I assert.

"Watch me," Derrick says.

"You're not going to try running it, are you?!" I exclaim, a sudden panic taking over.

"What? No, of course not! I'm going to take it nice and steady. Just don't be surprised when we get there in about..." my deskmate says, squinting at the white building in the distance. "Five minutes."

"Ha! Right!" I roll my eyes at his ridiculous estimate. There's no way what would take me an hour and a half is going to take him any less than thirty minutes.

As Derrick begins to walk again, I peek up from his hand every once in a while to see how far we are from our destination. To my surprise, we're approaching it much faster than I first anticipated.

I keep to myself for the most part, until something strange lands in Derrick's palm. I blink a few times, uncertain of what it is I'm seeing. It's long, a bit rounded, and a lovely shade of light pink. I reach out and poke it first, to make sure it's not some kind of bug. When it doesn't fly away, I lean over and take it in my hands. It's soft to the touch, though a bit wrinkly. It almost feels like some kind of plant.

"Hey," I say, my focus shifting back to my deskmate. "Do you know what this is?"

Derrick stops for a moment and looks down at the pink object in my hands. He tilts his head to the side, inquisitively.

"I think it's a petal," he says.

"A petal? From what?" I ask, excitedly scanning the ground beneath me for any flowers. To my disappointment, I don't see any.

"From that tree," my deskmate answers, pointing above and behind me to a massive heap of pink blossoms swinging in the wind, connected together by dark, twisting branches to a thick trunk.

My eyes immediately widen when it comes into view. The big blossoms float about in the sky high above us, and little petals rain down all around like snowflakes. This is a sight I've only ever dreamt about or seen in movies before. I never thought I'd get to see something like this for myself! The sky lights in Maedri's undercity always depicted cherry blossoms around spring every year, and I thought that was a sight to behold! But now I'm seeing the real thing? Am I really awake right now?

As Derrick begins to walk again, I try peeking around him to continue looking at the tree. Given his size, however, this proves fruitless. I slump in his palm, saddened that I only got a few moments with such a beautiful part of nature.

Derrick stops again, looking down at my slouching figure. He backs up a bit, and, reaching up to the tree, tears off a tiny section of a branch covered in flowers. He examines it between his fingertips for a moment, and then hands it to me.

My cheeks redden, and I can't help but let a smile creep across my face. Although I quiver at the sight of Derrick's nearing hand, I take the branch.

"For me?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"Mhm," Derrick hums. "A souvenir."

My breathing picks up speed with my heart rate. "Th-thanks," I manage.

Now I really can't let Dad find out about all this. What would he think of a boy giving me flowers?! I'd throw them right out if not for how mesmerized I still am by the sight of that tree.

After a few more moments of walking, Derrick stops again.

"The Apartments at Seren," he says.

I look up from the flowers in my lap. "No way!" I exclaim, dumbfounded.

"Well," Derrick says, pointing, "that's what it says on the sign."

Sure enough, the sign reads the name of my apartment building. Derrick reaches for the door to enter the perthean lobby.

"Wait!" I shout, only to bite my lip at the realization that I was a little too loud. "Um... is it okay if you just drop me off outside? There's an undercity entrance on the side of the building."

"Wouldn't it be faster to just drop you off inside?" Derrick asks.

"Well, it's just that... my dad likes to talk to the receptionist in there, and I don't know how he'd react if he saw a guy walking me home. And giving me flowers."

"Oh! Don't worry, I understand," he says. "I'll just set you down right here, then."

Derrick gently lowers himself to the ground, and places the hand I'm in down on the sidewalk. I rise from my place in his palm, wobbling a little at first as I struggle to stand. Bookbag and blossoms secured, I carefully inch toward the edge of my deskmate's hand, one step at a time, and then leap off onto the sidewalk.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Derrick asks.

"On Firsday," I say.

"Oh, right," he says. "I'll see you on Firsday."

"Alright. Bye!" I say, sheepishly waving as I make my way toward the undercity entrance on the side of the apartment building.

As I'm walking, I have a sudden realization— I completely forgot to thank Derrick! I turn around, only to see him walking away from the apartment building.

"Hey!" I yell, but Derrick doesn't seem to hear me.

I huff. I don't want to seem rude! I run after Derrick, as fast as I can, until I'm right beside him on the ground.

"Hey! Derrick! Wait!" I shout, hoping he'll hear me.

"Huh?" Derrick looks down.

The glass that veiled my fear for only a moment shatters as I stand face to face with a tall, tall perthean. From the ground. My eyes widen. My insides contort into a knot, and the world begins to spin around me. My heart slams against my ribcage and my legs tremble beneath me, again begging me to run away. Just what do I think I'm doing?

"Kaylin? Is everything okay?" Derrick asks.

"I-I— I w... I wanted..." I stutter and stutter, fumbling over every word as I rack my brain for whatever it was I wanted to say.

Derrick must realize I'm struggling, so he kneels down closer to the ground. "Yes?" He asks.

"I-I... I wanted t-to... I wanted to thank you!" I say, crossing my arm over my chest and leaning forward. "For helping me, and walking me home."

"Oh!" Derrick smiles. "Don't mention it."

"O-okay! S-see you on Firsday," I stammer, all at once giving in to my quaking legs' pleas and running as fast as I can away from Derrick and toward the undercity entrance without looking back.

This fear just isn't going to quit, is it?

#too small to be afraid #tstba #perthea #giant/tiny #g/t #g/t writing #sorry this took so long aaaaaaa;;;#something recently blew a hole in my confidence in my writing abilities #so I'm not really confident about this chapter ahaa;;#I'm probably going to rewrite this chapter at some point to make it feel less like they're just standing around not doing anything #because that's kind of the overall vibe I still get :/#also Kaylin's fear feels repetitive in this chapter for some reason and dijashdiksadhfasd maybe I shouldn't post this yet #BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG URGHHH #anyway #I hope you enjoy #feedback of any kind is always welcome as well since it helps me improve :3

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moonfil · 10 months

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Another one done and I'm not really happy with this design cuz Blue and TSC are actually the only two characters that I don't have actual design for, so....yeah, I think I will redo this one when I finally come up with a design that I like =v=""

#And this is also why it took me so long #sorry for waiting“#and i know that i forgot the hair but...tbh i just so tired with this one #i just want to leave it be...#T T #alan becker #avm shorts #art #avm fanart #avm blue #ava blue #avm reference

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dailyanimatronics · 2 months

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can you draw dook and jasper hanging out?

[ID: two drawings of dook larue and jasper t jowls on a blank background. dooks wearing a blue flannel and white shirt underneath, and is scratching the back of his head nervously. jasper is wearing a pink long sleeved shirt and a red bandana. he's posing with one paw up and the other on his hip. there's a thought bubble above his head that says "i can't imagine what obscure country stuff he knows. maybe more than fatz?" he asks jasper, "so, uh, what's your favorite band?" jasper answers "the go gos" confidently. the second drawing has them in the same poses, but dook is no longer smiling. he raises an eyebrow at jasper. jasper just goes "what?" /end ID]

im not sure if this is common knowledge in the fandom or not but (avenger) jasper is like a fake country fan which is the funniest damn thing to me

#art #chuck e cheese #cec #rock afire explosion #rockafire explosion #dook larue #jasper t jowls #sorry this took so long !! i had a hard time coming up with how theyd interact with each other

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befuddled-calico-whump · 4 months

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Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top, could you write (or draw, if you're in the mood) the aftermath to that drawing of Benji collapsing because of an infected wound? Maybe him all pukey and delirious from the fever while the others patch him up

road to recovery

#sorry it took so long!#anon #t$$ benji #whump art #whumpy art #recovery #wounded #the bottom half is just doodles not necessarily connected

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rollingaroundin-bread · 24 hours

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I have done it!! I have drawn the toitles!!! :D :D :D

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klausinamarink · 7 months

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klausi!! 🤍 i wanna bombard you with all these prompts but!!

91 "Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it." and/or 12 "I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

64 "Can I hold your hand?” and/or 79 "i like being close to you. you’re warm."

am i being too demanding :/ feel free to ignore this mwah! 🫶

dio!!! omg so great to hear from you! And don’t you worry you’re not demanding! these prompts are fantastic and I hope I did them justice for you 🫡 hope you can excuse the slight length and lateness

—

Steve loves Eddie.

It’s a fact as obvious as the monsters underneath everyone’s feet that haunted his sleeping state for years. It’s the truth that he has since accepted as part of something under his heart and bones, but is well too aware that if released, it can be ugly for everyone else.

Even with Robin, Steve just knows that if he even mumbles a fucking vowel, her first reaction would be, “Eddie would not like you.”

Okay, that’s just disrespectful to his platonic soulmate. Her first reaction would definitely be happy gasping, begging for details, using his love advice against him and strike multiple tally marks on the YOU RULE whiteboard.

But everyone else? Yeah, Steve can already see the disgust and contempt on their faces.

It would hurt more if Eddie’s one of them.

But fuck it. Steve’s always been the ‘rip the bandaid off’ kind of guy, especially when it comes to crushes. That’s why he’s going to tell Eddie first, future heartbreak and emotional breakdown be damned.

So here he is: driving down the road to the countryside that’s more farmland than actual farmhouses to the new Munson home.

And just as if the gods are giving him pity, Eddie’s already in the long driveway, leading Lucky out of the horse trailer.

It had surprised everyone that Eddie’s new job post-Vecna was a farmhand for a nearby horse ranch. But there’s not really a lot of other positions in Hawkins that would accept a falsely accused man who now hates the town even more for the witch hunt. The ranch on the other hand hadn’t cared much about Eddie’s history and had been quick to hire him for training shortly after the move.

Steve parks on the roadside just front of the house. Eddie seems too attentive with Lucky to notice his car yet, a gloved hand always petting the horse’s snout as he gently pulls the reins to the direction of the massive yard. Eddie has a gentle smile on his face, the one where the dimples show and gives him a little glow to the face.

It makes Steve smile too.

Eddie just looks so much happier.

He takes a deep breath and gets out of the car, the chilly November air and horse stink welcoming him. That snaps Eddie’s attention towards him, the smile breaking into a grin.

“Steve!” He cries out with a quick wave. Lucky gives a rather loud snort in greeting.

“Hey, Eds.” Steve waves back before jerking a chin up to the golden-brown horse as he walks up. “Taking Lucky to a timeout again?”

Eddie snorts, shaking his head, “I swear this horse either likes me more or he’s being a bastard on purpose for his owners.”

Apparently, out of all of the horses in the ranch, Lucky is the more “devil’s child” (which Eddie had described with a voice of an old Texas man). Steve hasn’t witnessed the actions himself, but the stories range from nipping other horses to clomping the front of a vehicle into smithereens for no reason except for an undisclosed hatred to the human race.

So predictably, Eddie is one of the very few humans who have the privilege to be Lucky’s close friends.

(“Honestly, I think this horse is an agent from the Upside Down. Steve, listen to me. I’ve faced a hoard of demobats but that horse scares me.” Eddie tells him one afternoon, just a week after being the new ranch hire. Steve listens to it all, but his eyes are on the ever wild gestures and lit cigarette dangerously close to burning his hair.

“If you’re afraid of it, then hasn’t it like,” Steve makes his best impression of a horse stomping someone to death.

Eddie snorts, taking a drag of his cigarette. “I guess I’m a braver motherfucker than I thought or Lucky just likes me better than the normal folk.”

I like you better too. Way more than the whole town. It’s not Steve’s first thought and it’s far from the last one he wishes to say alo.)

As Eddie leads Lucky alongside the fence of the pasture, Steve follows from behind, keeping a very safe distance from Lucky and his back legs of severe injury. Then Eddie opens the gate, letting Lucky run into the pasture.

Steve puts his arms on the fence, watching the horse gallop around and kicking up dirt clouds. He looks over at Eddie, who’s mirroring him but his gaze is on Steve. He smiles again, making Steve’s heart do a double flip.

“What is it?” Steve asks.

Eddie doesn’t answer. He only shuffles closer until their sides are pressing to each other. Then he tucks his chin onto Steve’s shoulder, his nose brushing the cheek. “I like being close to you. You’re warm.” Eddie finally says in a hushed voice like he’s sharing a secret.

Steve almost says it.

He almost tells Eddie, “I love you.”

But the words don’t come out. They feel blocked in his mouth. Like there’s one last gate to go through and Steve can’t find the key for it. It feels like he’s back in high school, fresh faced and still navigating the brutal castle that would chew him up and spit him out.

It feels frustrating that when the perfect opportunity for the confession is literally leaning against him, he can’t say it.

He’s scared now. That he’ll spit it out like an afterthought or say something like “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified” and have Eddie push him under Lucky’s hooves of death.

Eddie’s still looking at him. His eyes are hooded but cautious. He looks vulnerable. With the rays of sunlight still shining behind him, he looks beautiful.

Steve glances down at their hands. They hang limp over the fence, their pinkies barely touching. He swallows and says in a similar hushed voice, “Can I hold your hand?”

Eddie’s expression warms, his smile turning more tender. He takes off his gloves and slowly wraps his hand around Steve’s. His palm feels too smooth and sweaty with his pulse going wild.

It’s honestly perfect.

“This okay?” Eddie whispers.

Steve resists the urge to pinch between his eyebrows, hoping to blink away the sudden tears. “Yeah.”

Later, he would finally tell Eddie the three blessed words.

#i hope you like this!!!#super sorry this took long to write and answer because i started work again and I’m T I R E D nowadays #I feel kinda ehhh about what i wrote so pls forgive me if it’s a little off or something #also secret eddie horse girl?? it’s more likely than you think!#klaus writes #klaus answers

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mspaintjade · 2 months

Note

TT: Hello, Jade. We've landed. My, this island is vast...where are you?

@badlydrawnrose

Rose: Arrive to the island.

GG: sorry! im just in my house its kind of hard to miss!

> ==>

#sorry this ones took so long i struggled #homestuck ask blog #homestuck #jade harley #rose lalonde #also ik rose doesnt use a phone i just didnt know how t owork a laptop in....

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sexymanxisuma · 1 month

Text

it's here! the sexymanxisuma 1 year dtiys is here! and its definetly not super late lmao

rules for this dtiys will be under the cut ^-^

there is no time limit! feel free to take as long as you wish or start this whenever you wish! rt has no experation date :)

this is open to fic writers as well! feel free to write something inspired by the drawing!

feel free to change it up! make it more angsty or more light hearted! just keep it vaguely related to the original ^-^

tag me and/or use #sexmayxisuma 1year !! i want to see your takes on this dtiys!! ^-^

other than that, have fun with it!! <3

#xisuma #evil xisuma #xisuma art #evil xisuma art #sexymanxisuma 1year #mod artsy talks #i am very sorry it took me so long to get this done T-T #but i hope the wait was worth it ^-^

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skyafied · 10 months

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PRINCESS HEAVY IS SO BEAUTIFUL PLEASE DRAW MORE OF HIM

AY DAWG YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE [ also thank you so much what the hell I'm so glad you liked him!! ;-; ]

They are getting ready for Jāņi :') [ignore my pathetic excuse for a flower crown on Medic LMAO]

I am not Latvian myself, but thank you @beeengie for telling me all about this beautiful holiday! It was like a month ago but still-

silly bonus sketches btw

#eden art #ask #SORRYYYYYYYY THIS TOOK SO LONG #wow like 2 months a new record #THE ART BLOCK IS REAL AND IT HAPPENED TO ME THOUGH SO THAT'S MY BAD #also I'm still trying to figure out my style so pretty please bare with me I know it looks wonky T-T #heavy is the prettiest princess tbh #<- I’ve decided this will be my tag for all Princess Heavy drawings btw because I Said So #I literally can't NOT draw this man smiling it's insane #sorry for the same expression every time but like.....I just want him to be happy...........#team fortress 2 #tf2 #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #red oktoberfest #heavymedic

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fluffypotatey · 6 months

Note

also. i was thinking abt ur analysis on soysauce duo’s relationship, and how macaroni and mk’s relationship has that more direct progression in terms of caring about each other/mentorship, and also that it gives me a very nice opening to talk about my favorite line in s4: “Nice tail, kid,” from macaque in 4x09.

just. like. that’s the first nice thing anybody’s said about this terrifying new monkey form, and it’s so important that macaque says it. in a past season, that would’ve been a taunt, but here it’s about as close to sincere as macaque ever gets, and how it shows that the character development from s3 has stuck, that he isn’t just here to be a dick. yaknow??? <- frantically gesturing at a red string board with the clown wig firmly fitted on

*nods at board and takes her own red strings from her pocket* yeah, yeah exactly

they're relationship is literally "hey kiddo" (derogatory) to "hey kiddo" (affectionate). every insult that Macky threw at MK in the past (which was really just a backhanded compliment), now hold sincerity and geniune compliments to it. and you know what? THEY'RE DYNAMIC ALSO FLIPPED!!!

like, if you think about it, both MK & SWK's dynamic and MK & Macky's dynamic have flipped. it's Macky now who's trying to reach out and be friendly with MK still distrustful and throwing barbs (which Makcy takes in stride bc....fair is fair tbh) and yeah 100% agree that Macadoo's comment on MK's monkey form being the 1st positive one is a big deal and super important.

the previous ones coming from:

Ink!MK, who used that form to highlight how dangerous MK is to his friends and the world and will be the catalyst to its end;

Sun Wukong, who ignored the issue and was trying to placate MK. which, to be fair, was needed because Mk was not in the right mind, but SWK's mitigation (i think is a better word bc Wukong did acknowledge but was trying not to make a big deal out of it) ended up aggravating MK further because, once again, he feels like his pain and issues are being deflected.

and MK's friends, Pigsy, Sandy, Tang, and Mei, who were also overwhelmed by the events but weren't even sure how to react to MK's new burst of power.

and then you have Macaroni, who, if we remember, was unaware of the events that just transpired (at least, i think he was unaware bc he made a joke about Wukong being a lazy ass, which would be a low blow if Macartney was aware of everything in 4x08). all Macackle gets is MK pleading at him to stop with the taunting and THEN JUST GIVES UP ON WHAT HE WAS SAYING BECAUSE HE'S EXHAUSTED AND FEELS USED AND BROKEN AND CONFUSED AND MAYBE IF MAC DOES TAUNT HIM AT LEAST ONE THING OF HIS LIFE IS TYPICAL AND-*gets taken off the stage*

*comes back but now covered in scratches and blood* sorry, uh, what was i saying?

ah yes,

the fact that it is Macandy who comments on it (he is shown to be shocked about it and knows that something is up) and just a simple "uh, you have a tail now," it's "nice tail by the way."

no questions about how it happened, no concern over what transpired. just an acknowledgment of it and a positive one which is the complete opposite of what MK's been shown because it is the part of him that is supposed to be bad and chaotic and the Harbinger. it can't bring good or be something hopeful....can it?

also, ISN'T INTERESTING HOW MACAQUE'S COMMENT ON THE TAIL IS POSITIVE AND NOT WHAT SHOULD BE ASSUMED OF MONKEY!MK'S PURPOSE JUST LIKE HOW MK'S PERSISTENCE FOR MACKY'S HELP FURTHER LED TO MACKY REALIZING THAT FATE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT AND SCREW THE THREADS DESTINY AND THE WORLD GIVES YOU AND-*gets dog-piled*

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tag-if · 5 months

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ROs MBTI types? Thanks!!

i have this ask four separate times in my inbox, so i'm just going to answer this one and hope all of the nonnies see it ajsdb

apologies for the delay, but here you go!

A. Bellefleur; ENFJ

K. Valiev; ISFJ

A. Caras; ISTJ

T. Bellefleur; INTJ

M. Serrel; ENTP

#tag-if #the advisor's game #twine wip #ro ask #ro; a. bellefleur #ro; k. valiev #ro; a. caras #ro; t. bellefleur #ro; m. serrel #i couldn't decide #that's why it took so long #like i Know #but not when you give me specific boxes #i reckon they could all be two #but these are the closest #i think #hopefully #i am so sorry akshdk

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elizaditton · 3 months

Text

Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 13)

Links:

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

- - - - - - - - - -

I hardly absorbed any information at all during seventh period Koronian since I was so fixated on Derrick knowing about my fear. How long has he known about it? What does 'helping' me mean? What does he have planned for when we meet behind the school? Questions like these continue to bounce around in my mind as I stand on the balcony beside Brittney, not at all engaged in the conversation she's having with our deskmates.

I've only known Derrick for about a week, and he's already found out about my fear. I feel like an idiot. If my fear was this obvious to him, how obvious has it been to other pertheans?

What about the receptionist in the perthean lobby at the apartment? Did evading nearly all her questions make it obvious that I have a fear?

What about Mrs. Hudson, the perthean co-principal? Could she tell how frightened I was when I entered her office for the first time? Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if Dad told her about my fear, since they've been friends since they were deskmates in high school.

What about Kevin? I haven't been able to stop myself from shaking whenever he's around! And the way he looks at me... it's always like he's staring straight into my soul! Does he know I have a fear? Does he resent me for it? And not only is he Brittney's boyfriend—he's friends with Derrick, too... would either Brittney or Derrick tell him about my fear?

Kevin looks up from his phone, and his narrowed brown eyes pierce right through me. I'm unable to tear my eyes away from his as my whole nervous system is overtaken by relentless shuddering. What's he going to think now?

A hand rests on my shoulder, catching me completely off guard and causing me to flinch. I gasp and turn to the side to find an irritated looking Brittney.

"Hello?!" She says. "Earth to Kaylin!"

I blink a few times, trying to wrap my head around what she just said. "...Earth?" I finally ask.

"Well, I guess here it would be 'Perthea to Kaylin,' but you know what I mean!"

I slowly shake my head, not having the slightest clue as to what Brittney means at all. I look to Derrick to see if he has any idea what she's talking about. He shrugs.

Kevin sighs. "You and your Earthling vernacular."

"Hey!" Brittney says, stomping, "it's not my fault that I don't know which planet to use which phrases on!"

"You should still be careful with phrases like that, especially on Earth," Kevin says. "If a fed on Earth heard you say something was 'as red as a rotizelle,' they'd be all over you."

"Yeah, well... at least that won't be a problem soon," Brittney says with a sorrowful look in her eye as she crosses her arms.

Brittney, Kevin, and Derrick share a knowing look. I remember Brittney telling me back in stage two that she was from Earth, but aside from that, I have no idea what anyone's talking about.

"Um..." I pipe up, awkwardly breaking the silence between the four of us. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh! Well, it's a long story... I can fill you in later," Brittney says, pulling out her phone. "Great Barrier Reef! It's already 3:17! I better get going! Bye, you guys!"

Brittney waves at Kevin, Derrick and I briefly before speeding off.

"Brittney!" I call out to no avail. "What's a barrier reef?!"

"Well," Kevin says, eyes glued to his phone again, "I better get going, too. You know how my mom gets."

He fist bumps Derrick and turns away, not even sparing me a passing glance as I stand on the balcony wondering how it is his mom gets.

Once Kevin and Brittney are gone, Derrick turns to me and smiles. "I'll see you out back," he says with a wink before turning and walking away from the balcony.

I gulp, shivers running down my spine. What is it I signed up for?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I glance at myself in the mirror I hung inside my locker. I don't look that nervous, do I? My twitching eyes and trembling lip say otherwise. I heave a shuddering sigh and close my locker door. It's useless. I don't know how I'll ever get over this stupid fear. I don't know what Derrick had in mind when he said he wanted to help me, but whatever it is, what good could it possibly do? After years upon years of journaling, meditation, and not to mention therapy, I've found that nothing has helped to cure me of my fear. So whatever Derrick has in mind, I'm almost certain it won't do me any good. I'm going to be afraid of pertheans forever!

With every step I take on the path to my destination, I grow more and more faint. My legs wobble like jelly, and my insides reduce to mush. My mind swarms with questions and anxieties about this meeting. Is it really safe for a human to be meeting with a perthean alone? Does Derrick really want to help me, or does he have it in for me? Am I going to make it out of this meeting alive?

I shake my head. Of course I'm going to make it out of this meeting alive! Derrick and I are friends after all, and I'm sure he has no intent to hurt me. He probably just wants to help, like he said.

As I'm thinking through these things, the image of that twisted grin plastered across my deskmate's face comes to my mind.

"Let me help you, Kaylin," I imagine Derrick saying. "When I'm through with you, you won't feel a thing ever again!"

My head quickly twists from side to side. I can't go through with this! I can't go out there and let him do whatever he wants to me! I have to get away now while I still can! I stop dead in my tracks, turning away from the hallway that leads to behind the school and run as fast as I can to the elevators that go down to the lobby.

After a moment of standing around, a mechanical whirr reaches my ears. A tone sounds on the overhead speaker, and the door in front of me slides open. Keeping my head down, I board the elevator with some other students.

My heart sinks as I step into the cabin. I'm running away. Again. Is this all I know how to do?

The image of Derrick smiling flashes in my mind. This time, it's the smile he gave me when he told me he wanted to help me. There was compassion in his eyes. I could see it. I could feel it. I think back to his words. 'Let me help you...'

I place a hand on the elevator door as it begins to shut, to the surprise of the other students.

"Sorry," I say. "I... forgot something."

I exit the elevator, turn the corner, and head straight down the hall until I happen upon a set of doors. Doors like these that lead outside of buildings are usually marked as emergency exits, since humans usually dwell in the undercity unless they leave through a proper exit. These doors, however, don't share any markings with the emergency exits I've seen around this school. So, if I'm right, they shouldn't sound an alarm.

I take a deep breath and exhale. This is it. No more running away. I crack open one of the doors and peer into the outside world, wondering what awaits me on the other side.

I immediately shield my eyes. It's so bright out here! Right when I think I'm adjusted to this foreign place, a wind carrying the early spring chill blows right through me, leaving me covered in goosebumps. I wince, rubbing my arms forcefully. I didn't miss being above ground.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't come," Derrick says.

My heartbeat quickens as I look up at my deskmate. He's standing a few perthean yards away from the balcony, which I find a bit strange. His hands are tucked away in his pockets, and his gaze is fixed on the ground.

"I-I..." I cough, hoping it'll stop my stuttering. "I had some trouble finding the exit."

"I see," Derrick says.

He keeps his eyes fixated on the ground, and only looks up at me for a brief moment before turning his eyes back to the concrete. He takes a deep breath and holds it in briefly before exhaling.

"Um," he finally says, breaking the silence between us. "I already asked you this before, but... I want to hear your answer."

Derrick shifts in place before locking eyes with me. I already know what he's going to ask, yet I can't stop my heart from pounding and pounding! And I don't know if it's because of the cold Carmen air or just because I'm so nervous, but I can't stop shivering!

"Kaylin," Derrick asks, "are you afraid of me?"

My insides contort into a knot. Why am I so nervous? I already told him earlier! Maybe it's just that I don't want to tell a perthean about my fear directly. Whatever the case, I have to tell him. I can't go back now.

I look down at the balcony floor, unsure of how I should go about confessing my fear. Should I apologize? I already did that before, so maybe I shouldn't do it again. Should I try to justify it? He's just so tall, after all! Then again, I don't want to make him angry. Maybe I should just come out and say it. But standing here with my legs wobbling, my shoulders shuddering, and my throat drier than a desert, how can I?

"Kaylin?" Derrick says.

"I-I—" I stutter helplessly under my deskmate's gaze. I hold my breath, only for my lungs to scream at me to let the air go so they can take in more oxygen at an ever-accelerating pace. My heart skips a beat. I release the breath I was holding in and try to look my deskmate in the eyes.

Derrick looks at me blankly. I can't help but wonder what's going through his mind.

Unable to keep eye contact, I tear my gaze away from Derrick's and settle it back on the balcony floor. "Yes," I say.

There's a silence between us. The wind rustles through the nearby trees and blows through the grass that surrounds our empty portion of the school grounds. I'm relieved to have gotten my answer out, but I'm worried about what's on Derrick's mind as a result. Did he really mean what he said about helping me? Is he really sensitive like Brittney said? Did I hurt him by telling him I'm afraid? Does he want to hurt me?

I look back up at Derrick. His lips are pursed and his eyes, fixed on the ground, move back and forth as if he's deep in contemplation.

"When did this start?" he asks.

I gulp. Visuals I don't want to remember come flooding back to my mind. A short walk past the undercity exit through an enormous city above ground. A dark, unsuspecting alleyway. A tall perthean man with narrowed brown eyes.

I shake the thoughts away. I'm not going back there. "It's... always been this way, ever since I was little."

"But can you pinpoint a specific memory?" Derrick asks.

"I-I...!" I stutter again as I fall victim to my own thoughts.

The tall perthean man in the alleyway turns to me with a devilish grin. He's approaching me! His hands are coming for me, and I'm glued to the ground! I can't move! My heart slams against my ribcage, and my lungs gasp for air as I stand in place, unable to snap out of the trance I'm in!

"Anything at all?" my deskmate asks.

I grip the railing in front of me tightly, my brows furrowed in anger as I blink back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. "You... you need to mind your own business," I say through gritted teeth.

"What?" Derrick asks, confused.

"Mind your own business!" I shout, the tears I so desperately tried to blink back now streaming down my face one by one. I grip the railing in front of me even tighter than before, it being the only thing keeping me grounded in reality and away from the memories my mind wants to force on me so desperately.

"I'm... sorry I upset you," Derrick says, taking a step backward. "I... I should go," he says, turning around and hurrying away.

I look up to see Derrick walking away, his head down and his hands hidden away in his pockets. A burning guilt builds in my chest. What have I done? My friend offers to help me with my fear, and I chase him away? I look at my hands. What kind of monster am I? What's he going to think of me now?

"Derrick, wait! Please!" I call out. I just hope he can hear me!

My deskmate stops only a few more perthean yards from where he once stood. My heartbeat rings in my ears. I have his attention? What do I say now?!

"I...! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to snap at you like that!" I shout.

Derrick remains motionless. What I said must have really gotten to him. I feel horrible!

I breathe in and out. "When you told me you wanted to help me, I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe it was a joke, or maybe you wanted to give me a piece of your mind for being afraid of your people, but... I've been scared for so long."

I shift in place, not really sure what I'm saying or where I'm going with this. Derrick stays in place, only turning his head back towards me slightly.

"I... I don't know where else to turn," I say, gripping the railing in front of me again. "I could never ask this of anyone else, so...!"

I lean over the balcony as far as I'm able to, eyes fixated on Derrick's distant figure. Yes, I'm terrified of pertheans. No, I'd rather not be attending a deskmate school. But this one awkward perthean boy... he's somehow managed to sneak his way into my heart in spite of those things, and I'm finding that I don't want to lose him. Not over something as stupid as this!

"I need your help, Derrick!" I shout. "Please, help me!"

I stare onward at my deskmate, who is still glued to the same spot as before. Nothing. I guess he's not going to forgive me this time. I look down to the balcony floor in defeat. I knew this was too good to be true. An opportunity like Derrick offered me only comes once in a lifetime, and I crushed it. My fear became too much to handle in the moment, and in front of a perthean? Forget it. It was only a matter of time before I lashed out like this. I'll be lucky if Derrick ever talks to me again after this.

Footsteps, one by one, make their way towards the balcony. Anxiety swelling in my gut, I keep my head down as a massive shadow overtakes my little frame.

"Kaylin..." Derrick says, his voice trailing off.

I look up at him, not sure what to expect but fearing the worst. His eyes are full of wonder, and his mouth is left agape. He blinks at me a few times and smiles.

"I'll do it," he says, "I'll help you overcome your fear!"

I gasp. Maybe it's the chill of the cooler surface world air. Maybe it's the cold early spring wind blowing through my hair. Maybe it's the slightest bit of warmth from the sun peaking through the clouds. Whatever it is, it washes over me, relieving my anxiety.

"Th-thank you," I say, wiping my tears away. "Really."

"Don't mention it," Derrick says. "Now, getting back to the matter at hand..."

He lifts his hand and moves it towards me. What's he doing?! I stumble backward, almost tripping over my own two feet in the process. Derrick rests his hand over the balcony railing in front of me, his palm facing upwards. Shivering and shielding myself with my arms, I struggle to catch my breath after such an unexpected movement. I look at his hand, confused, and then look at him. This isn't balcony etiquette. Why is he offering me his whole hand?

"Shall we get started?" my deskmate says with a smile.

#too small to be afraid #tstba #perthea #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #sorry this took so long and that ive been absent aaaaaaaaAAA a lot has been going on for me recently asdefgfdjhdkhn #anyway i hope you all enjoy this new chapter and i will *hopefully* have a new one for you next week!!!#also... in other news im making a new cover for the book :0 #idk if ill reveal it until the book gets printed or not but i might just reveal it bc im proud of it so farrrrrr

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