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#sorry none of u care i just like venting
redr0sewrites · 1 month
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omg lowkey having a shitass day and i’m too tired to write for my comfort character and your my fav so 😭😭 literally just any fluffy vox headcanons. literally any! could be only one paragraph IDC i just think it’s so cute how you write him 🙏🙏
OFCCCC!!!!! heres some hcs ab vox comforting u after a long day ♥️
🥀 Cw: none, just fluff!
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vox is no stranger to long, tiring days. he's had his fair share of shitty work days and when he comes home to see you exhausted, he immediately notices what's wrong.
vox is very goofy, he's good at reading people and can immediately know if someone's upset, but it's how he reacts that throws him off. like he'll notice something is wrong but won't know how to respond.
he's so used to manipulating people (such as valentino) or just shoving down his own emotions to put on a persona that he isn't great at verbally comforting someone, but his actions make up for it.
he pulls you onto his lap and will run his hand up and down your back to soothe you. while his claws are sharp, he would never hurt you with them, and its much more of a ticklish sensation then anything
speaking of, vox loves it when you laugh. if you're pissed at someone in particular, he will definitely make fun of them to help cheer you up. don't be surprised if they "disappear".... he is an overlord after all. he'd only do this if you want him too tho
vox claims he isn't insecure, but in reality he knows exactly how it feels to feel shitty about everything around you. he's surprisingly empathetic, if you're in a relationship with him he definitely cares about you a lot and i genuinely see him being upset in the situation that you're upset
if you cry, vox may be a little awkward but will go to get you a glass of water. he'll also dim the light of his screen to make sure he doesn't give you a headache and, if you're really upset or tired, he may even take the day off of work to comfort you
vox is the type to turn on soft music when you're sad and pull you into a slow dance right in the middle of your apartment. he doesn't care that you're bleary eyed and that you keep stepping on his feet, he doesn't care that its sappy or that it makes him seem vulnerable to care about you so much. as long as he gets to see you smile and giggle as you both clumsily swirl around eachother, he's content in staying in this moment forever.
if you're ever angry/frustrated and take it out on him, he may be a little pissy but he can take it, especially if you feel really bad afterwards. he doesn't take it to heart if you have a bad day and snap at him, hell, he does it all the time. he may be a little pouty if you don't apologize but don't worry he'll get over it in a few minutes once he sees how tired you are
while vox is a little chaotic, he's a genuinely good person to vent too because he will literally always agree with you no matter what. you murder someone? its their fault for walking into your knife. he absolutely supports your rights (and wrongs) no matter what
he's also a pretty good listener in general because he just. listens. he doesn't give unnecessary input, he doesn't try to play devils advocate, he just listens and shows interest in what you have to say and comforts you when necessary. he doesn't see why thats such a big deal, but he genuinely is a pretty decent listener.
vox is also a yapper though, if you need to get your mind off of your day just tell him and he'll start explaining the most random things to you. oh, you had something really embarrassing happen today and you want to forget about it? well now you're going to listen to 500 shark facts while also hearing the entire princess bride lore. sorry not sorry.
vox would find the shittiest movie with the worst cgi imaginable for you both to watch after a long day, he loves curling up with you on the couch and making fun of horribly animated graphics together
i also think he's (secretly) a fan of corny romance films and/or romcoms, and would want to recreate cute scenes with you (but would literally never tell you that) so you both may end up watching cutesy romance movies too
(this is the song i had in mind bc its soo vox, so u can listen to this for the "full experience")
"aw c'mon bub, don't tell me your too mopey to dance?" vox extended his hand to you, yet his smile was a little more forced than usual. his eyes were wide on his screen, almost concerned about the teats staining your cheeks.
"m' fine voxy.." you mutter, turning away. "it was just a bad day." vox pouts, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him.
"trust me, this will make you feel better," he assured, pulling you to your feet. vox snapped his fingers and a bright, upbeat tune began to play in the background. pulling you in close, vox twirled you around before stepping back, switching to a simple slow dance.
you can't help a soft smile from creeping onto your face as vox continues to exaggeratedly spin and pull you around. hell, if anyone could see you both now, they'd be shocked.
"who knew that the overlord of technology was such a sap?" you giggle, pulling vox down by his tie to give him a kiss, and he chuckles in response. vox pouts, yet his eyes crinkle a bit as a genuine smile graces his features. "only for you!!".
i saw this and immediately opened my drafts 🫡 it is a CRIME that i haven't written any vox fluff when he's literally one of my fav pookies. i have literally only written smut for him 😭 anyways, i hope this made ur day at least a bit better!!!! sending lots of love ur way ♥️♥️♥️♥️
also i am SO honored to be called ur favorite bc hello??? ur my favorite too?????
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let-love-run-red · 10 months
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Love ... u write for Miguel???? If you're feeling up to it - and you're one of my favorite writers - can you write headcanons for Miguel if he hurts girlfriend's feelings/ignores her? What he does to make up for it? <3 your writing! Take care!
Yes I do write for Miguel! I love him so much actually lol, also you're so sweet and I'm glad you enjoy my writing, you take care as well! I hope this is what you were looking for, it got a little longer than I intended
Masterlist | Requests! Warnings: none! just Miguel being a little bit of a jerk at first
- He hadn't always been dismissive, Miguel was actually a very attentive partner. Before the spider society.
- He used to be sweet and listen to your stories from work or spend time watching shows and making dinner with you
- But after, it was like he forgot about everything except "the fate of the multiverse." He forgot to eat, forgot to rest, forgot about his birthday, your anniversary.
- You'd been understanding before but him forgetting your anniversary was the last straw for you. You decided to be just as cold and detached as he was and you knew it wasn't the right way to handle conflict but it made you feel better.
- He caught onto that fairly quickly, and he was angry. How dare you give him the cold shoulder when he had so much responsibility.
- He started snapping at you whenever he was around. Spent more time at headquarters, spending more time holed up in his office ignoring your calls.
- Then Pavitr of all people knocked some sense into him. - "You can't just ignore her and expect her to be happy!" He'd exclaimed when he'd overheard Miguel venting to Jessica. "She's your partner you need to give as much as you expect." He'd finished before storming out of the room.
- So it started with flowers. You walked into the apartment one day to see a vase of your favorite flowers on the counter with a note accompanying it in Miguel's scrawling handwriting saying he loved you.
- It wasn't enough, but it was a start.
- The flowers became regular, a new bouquet the second the old ones started to drop petals, each one with a written note. The notes became more common too, little ones around the house for no particular reason. You felt your heart starting to thaw.
- Then it was dinner. You walked into the apartment one night after work fully prepared to order takeout to be greeted by the smell of your favorite dish and Miguel cooking in the kitchen with his music playing.
- He didn't realize you'd walked in until you ran your hand down his back gently. He jumped slightly and quickly paused his music.
- "What's this for?" You asked, gesturing to the meal he was cooking. "I missed our anniversary, I'm sorry." He lowered his head. You sighed. "Yes you did." You muttered. "I'm trying to make it up to you," He continued. You opened your mouth and he cut you off, "not just for our anniversary, for ignoring you too." You paused and nodded, lightly scratching his back. "How can I make it up to you?"
- He listened to everything you said. He made it a point to be home before eleven every night. He didn't leave without kissing you goodbye or leaving you a note on your bedside table.
- If he had to be gone for a mission, he called you whenever he could, just to check in, so you knew he was safe and he knew you were safe.
- He also made sure that no matter how busy he got he set time aside to have dinner with you at least once a week. Whether you cooked together or ordered takeout he would sit down with you and listen to your stories from work, tell you some of his own, and you would watch one of your shows together.
- It's more than a start, and it's more than enough.
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radiant-reid · 1 year
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CATE :( i saw this tik tok and i now have thoughts, very sad ones
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMY7NNvbC/
spencer was definitely all alone at this point in his life with his mum now in a care facility, so he’s living all alone and has no one to talk to, he probably says like 10 words to other people maximum per day and i’m so sad now
i just wanna be friends with 18 y/o spence so i can comfort him and show him that people can in fact be nice because i’m so sad for him, like none of the flashback scenes we get for him are happy :( he’s such a good person with such a sad past and i’m so upset for him </3
like yes! i will listen to ur rambles and yes! i’ll play chess with u even tho idk how! i’ll listen to you vent and hang out with you so you aren’t lonely!
i also had a thought that would maybe be OOC because i don’t think he’d be up for it but i’m 18 and my schools formal (like a UK prom) is coming up and id i was friends with 18 y/o spence i would definitely invite him to my prom :( so he could go to prom at a school with kids who didn’t bully him, he could be at a school at the ordinary age, and he could have one normal and hopefully fun school memory bc he deserves it :(
sorry this was long and ranty but i’m so sad rn😭
-💿
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no omg like imagine how much stress was on him, when he's probably already so stressed with all of his school stuff and then he has to make that gut-wrenching decision </3
i have to believe he had Ethan as a friend for my how emotional wellbeing
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hey, uh. sry if this gets a bit vent-y. feel free 2 delete.
how do u force urself to go dormant?
i just. i dont think it's good for me to be around. i cant trust any1 and nobody even cares in the first place. im the only 1 in system whos this miserable 99.9% of the time. the 1 thing i got happy abt making got ruined 4 me. i seem to just be a holder of bad things. i cant deal w this.
im part of a subsystem so it's difficult for the gatekeepers 2 manage 1 part of us. and also they're so fucking stubborn abt not agreeing 2 force some1 into dormancy. so i cant ask them.
- 🎵
hey, I’m really sorry, but we don���t have an answer for you here. we don’t know how a headmate can force dormancy on themselves, and even if we did… idk i’d feel a bit uncomfortable recommending that or sharing tips for accomplishing it.
for what it’s worth… we care. we are so so happy you exist and we are happy you came to us with this ask. honestly you are so strong and brave for continuing to exist despite the pain and despite your misery, none of which do you deserve btw. you deserve good things. you deserve happiness.
it may seem impossible right now, but things can and will get better. you don’t have to be optimistic all the time in order for joy to come your way. and as a holder of bad things (be it trauma memories, pain, negative emotions, or anything else) we feel like it’s okay to be sour. it’s okay to be upset that your life is painful so often. it can be really hard to sit with that, to accept that, and it isn’t fair that it’s all on you. we’re sorry to hear that you’re struggling.
we have full faith that you will find something else that makes you happy. it may come at a time when you least expect it, but don’t count yourself out just because the thing you used to love got ruined for you.
it’s spring where we live, and wildflowers are popping up everywhere. we like to look at them. we like to hear birds calling out to each other and we love to look at the clouds. maybe you can find a similar sort of joy in observing nature. it may be small, but when you’re in a lot of pain, even small moments of happiness can be huge victories (they can for us, anyway).
we hope you can get the chance to explore new things and find something else to be passionate about. we hope you can find a new welcome, comforting distraction from your pain. if there is anything at all we can do to help you with this, don’t hesitate to reach out. even if you just need someone to listen… we’re here.
good luck, anon. we believe in you and we care about you. we hope things turn around for you soon, but until then, please know you’re not alone. wishing you peace and rest in your future.
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terraliensvent · 2 months
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good gpd im so frustrated with stuff in terras rn. idont care anymore if they know who i am im jyst. so so frustrayed. its so hard to get stuff u want without spending money and im really lucky i have 3 terras. but oh god its so frustrating seeing people ask for. what even was it. asking for 14 myos. for 1 terra. it makes me so unvelievably angry!!
not tomention the way terra staff picked all the people who werent that active in chats. but just because they knew eachother well and were friends. it makes me lose hope for ever being a syaff and helping make this cs a little better :(
also how terra gas are always peopel with super detailled "pop" styles. like yeah youre picking smaller artists but.. yhey all have very similar styles and. its discouraging to someone with a chibi style who just really likes designing terras. it makes me wanna leave so bad.
and i. i cannot handle some of the members sometimes. some members will talk about how they dony have much money, like someone said they didnt have money for something. then immediately after bought a terra??? i mean i get that it can be addicting n stuff but. its so so frustrating oh god.
especially when people like. are talking about stuff and someone mentions something cpmpletely off topic. i could understanf if!!! maybe !! they asked nicely for a topic change and left it at tht but. ive seen people spam their own topics in the middle of another convo.
also i dont even wanna mention the trading scene. its insane. man i. ive been condidering leaving for sonlong mostly from members and specific staff. but. aughhhgg i love terras so much i just. wish i could make it better. i genuinely cry over it bc . i love terras so so much but its all going to shit . :C
im mostly just frustrated with dtaff constantly taking customs because if the staff customs channel and their new godly role. it sucks. it makes people feel like their artvisnt worth it, seeinh bids surpass thr hundreds while some camnot sell a fullbody for $5 just bc bias.
if staff see this, im sorry. i wish i didnt have yo go on a vent blog to say this. but i know saying it in the server would just get me silenced. please try to help with these issues seen here. and im genuinely so sorry, i really want to help, but this is the only way i can help now: giving criticism. i hope things change and i can enjoy terras again. i also hope staff are okay, i do not eant this to be mean or stressing in any way. :C [sorry for the typos mod i am very shaky rn and in a bus and carsick so im trying to fix them as mucj as i can. and ty for dealing witg all the drama.]
im sorry youre having such a bad time anon, it can be difficult once you realize all the deep cracks within the foundation of something you like
youre right in saying the trading scene is absolutely insane rn, people have decided that myos arent as powerful of a trading chip anymore but theyre still just as difficult to get, what the FUCK would someone even need 14 myos for
the staff has always been cliquey, if youre not in their little friend group you might as well be dirt, and theyre so biased toward pop artists, thats why kiwi rot was allowed to make a feral terra custom even while the hammer was coming down hard on them.
members are so rude and im tired of people pretending theyre not. at some point you gotta wonder how many times someone will breach social contract again and again regardless of every single time theyre politely told to wait their turn, just say you want to butt in and be done with it. ive never seen so many people absolutely unable to actually pay attention to the conversation at hand and it really seems like they just want to hear themselves talk
staff as a role is just a pretty little modifier to say “im elite, now drop $100s on my customs so you can immediately trade it off and say ‘looking for staff swaps ONLY if you offer me anything else u r getting blocked xoxox’��, none of them actually really use the new role to bring new viewpoints to the species or to make systems move faster, if they were then youd think we would actually have implemented more site functionality than one single fucking forage button and people wouldnt have to wait upwards of 2 weeks to get a myo design approved
terras biggest downfall is that every single person in the server is too sensitive for criticism and take it way too personally, that way everything gets silenced and nothing gets better.
personally anon, i suggest distancing yourself a bit. when i started moving away from the species and focusing on irl self improvement, i felt so much better (and started saving a lot of money)
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mrs-monaghan · 1 year
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I think with the image think, it’s not really much of Jm wants to hide and don’t let people see or is not honest, or babying his fan. I think it’s more of a who he is, how he was raised, were he was raised,and his values kind of thing. like i know you said you come from an african country, i come from the Caribbean i think similar to my culture that quite honestly is heavily influence by African culture, for example they don’t care about drinking, partying and such but they would care if you are unmarried and living together with a partner, they will care you get pregnant without being married. We are not a conservative country but you won’t catch me kissing my partner im front of older family members. Like some of us can’t even watch sex scene with our parents even when we are grown. Are all of us acting consciously and kind of give the same importance to stuff like that no. Some do, some don’t. Just like everyone in BTS some like Jimin, Jhope, Jin even RM to some extent act like JM, and i don’t see an issue with it. Rather it’s him ridiculously fast fowarding like crazy, or not cursing, or hidding that photo in the hotel, cause this is what is important to him. Like i would do the same if i had even known there’s a possibility for my mom/dad to be watching me. I don’t want to deal with that akwardness. Some people were saying he put the kissing scene in the music video why is he acting like that, he put it yes, but he doesn’t makes you watch it, it’s your responsibility you go, you look for it, you clicked on it. Whereas him doing that live, might be feeling like exposing people to it. He is very conscious of other people that doesn’t mean babying, he is very conservative(in public) that’s basically how he was raised like they can’t even touch opposite sex in the streets if they not dating(that’s where the man was raised). What makes you think he has to let go of his culture for your own pleasure.
And everyone knows they drink, they talk about it, he talked about getting drunk, does he really need to show you him drinking for you to know. At this point it’s common sense people, grown people do grown people stuff even if they don’t show you. And complaining about him not going into detail about his album, what the hell did the others says that was more than what he said. It was your expectation you wanted him to tell you all of the thing that went down that makes his album, when it is well known in the fandom that he doesn’t tell you people shit, cause you will turn it against him, if you don’t somebody will. So him being i was lonely, drinking to much, betrayed by somebody is not enough? What do you want to know more?Why? Because what y’all want is for him to tell you, so xyz did me wrong, and cheated me, blah blah, no bitch that’s is personal life. His album is about stuff that happens to him, that he choose to sing about in his personal life(it’s not i was sitting in hotel room nd realized i hate hotel room so i wrote lonely) no it’s story that involves other people, him that are or were close to him. He doesn’t owe you the story. I would pay good money for him to tell me how he got Jk on letter, why the beach sounds, who’s that second half of letter really for? But i am realistic and know that’s none of my business so he says i wrote for army nd i say yes baby(bombastic side eyes). And like he said, this album first and foremost is for himmmmmmmm himmmm himm and Letter for you know who. So, STOP BEING STUPID. Im just fed up Shaz sorry.
No, no, no. By all means vent away, please. Yes to everything.
About the first part with babying Army. When u put our cultures into it....
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This makes sense actually. Like my opinion doesn't change but I now get what you're saying. And don't get me wrong I don't want him to change, I've never wanted any member to change. And I see what you're saying for sure. That's just him at his core.
As for the rest I'm completely with you. He don't owe us any explanations. We need to take what we're given and be satisfied with it.
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Hello there, gorgeous. I got an ask, but im not sure how fo word it. Lemme try like this:basically, how would the shie hassaikati (and the lov if you dont mind) react to having an s/o that has a mist quirk? Let me explain: they have a normal apperance and also the mist form. When they are in this mist form, they are pretty mutch indestructible, bullets pass through them, knifes pass through, yada yada. They turn completely whitr(i mean paper white), hairstyle depends on whos reading, it can stay the same, turn fluffy bc of all the steam.... They can also make a multitude of surprisingly sturdy weapons from the mist, pass through the vents or small gaps, change things on their bodies, small or big butt for exampl, and can immaculetly( how tf do u spell this wtf-) clean anything, and i mean anything and anyone. I wanna add something for the personality, but i know you preffer zo keep it open so, none of that. Im pretty sure thats it, as always, love your posts and work! 🧸❤️ ( ps, seems like skeptic is stealing the spotlight from Overhaul on your site, in fact all of the liberation army is stealing the light from by beloved bird bois)
(Little late on my asks so sorry about it! The past days have been busy actually haha! This seems like such a fun quirk to have! Also...you're right. Skeptic brainrot is violently taking over and poor Overhaul is suffering lmao)
~S/O with a Mist Quirk~
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headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
~Shie Hassaikai~
-Pops: Compliments your quirk very often. To him, he's rather interested in the quirk. It's rare (as he would day) that he gets to observe a quirk such as yours in society these days. He does request of you one thing and that's to not use it to change yourself too often. He loves you as you are. He doesn't think a single body part needs to be changed.
-Overhaul: You're quirk is cool and all but it's still a curse at the end of the day. He asks you if you want it to be taken away from you with the drugs. He gives you an option since he loves you after all. He'd fallen in love with you for who you are and not your quirk. The BIG benefit is your ability to clean anyone and anything as well as you can. He's going to want to use that to it's fullest extent:)
-Chronostasis: "Pretty damn cool..." He mumbles to himself the first time he sees you using it. He likes watching you use it no matter how or when you do. Honestly I think he stares at you with this dumb in love look on his face ever single time he gets a chance to do so. Next time you see him staring, try giving him a little show. I promise you he'll appreciate it!
-Mimic: The first you use it in front of him he kinda just stands there with his jaw open. The energy you put off gives him 'quirkless' vibes. Then again he should've expected something was up with the way your chest size changed so often. He started to think to himself about your abilities when he realized the way you were mixing things up one day with yourself. Maybe a dream of some sort then? Nope...nope yeah, they just made a weapon. Okay yeah, definitely not quirkless.
-Nemoto: Something about him just makes him the gentle but annoying protective type. Even after seeing what all your quirk could do, he's still worried about you possibly getting hurt out there in the streets. The mist aspect makes him correlate it to softness like cotton. Therefore his brain has made the connection that you must be easily harmed (despite the invincibility trait). Let the man worry too much and it'll seep over into your daily conversations. Is there any way to make him see you're just fine and fully capable?
-Deidoro: To be honest, his opinion of you wouldn't be any different no matter what kind of quirk you've got. Sure he thinks it's cool and yeah he especially likes the body part aspect of it, but at the end of the day he only cares about what you've got inside. He's never felt this way about anyone ever before so make sure you remember that every time you catch him pissing you off around the house (which is bound to happen when you date him).
-Rappa: Indestructible you say??? FIGHT ME!!!! You already knew it was coming when you let it slip around him that you were less than harm able. Your options are to now either fight the man or try and avoid him until he gets board and stops asking. What you didn't plan on was the fact that he NEVER seemed to get bored of challenging you. The other thing you didn't plan on was him clumsily asking you on a date out of the clear blue one day. At first you thought it was a trap to try and get you into a battle with him so you turned it down. Day by day 'fight me' was slowly turning into 'date me'. Eventually you're going to have to make a decision.
-Tengai: It's annoying if you two get into it with each other. Like Nemoto, he can tend to be overprotective no matter what you say your quirk is. Arguments aren't loud shouting between you two but they're nerve wracking. You can't even try to mist and escape somewhere since he just put his shield up and forces you to stay right where you are and listen to his lectures. Aside from this, you know he means well by annoying you. He just doesn't want to run the risk of the wrong people getting their hands on you when you're the most vulnerable if it were to ever come about.
-Hojo: Relates to you on a small level of some sort. I mean about the production of stuff. His quirk only of course gives way to crystals but you can do so much more. He likes watching you create so many different weapons. He admires the durability of each thing you make. Then again, I think he just seems to like everything about you really. No need to feel like you're out of place when it comes to him. 10/10 best boyfriend for a misty person (or any person really)
-Tabe: Amazed by your quirk and amazed every time you use it. It doesn't matter how, why, what, or when you use it. Tabe is always staring at you with these wide entranced eyes of his, waiting to see what your next move will be. Maybe its a warm feeling knowing someone thinks you're just so amazing to them. having someone see you as a star or something in their eyes. Spoiler alert: he's still look at you the same way even if you were quirkless. He's in love with all that you are. That's a promise.
-Setsuno: Likely falls for you when he watches you handle a stealthy mission better than his little group could ever do. Seriously, you killed it. You used your quirk to extract gentle information real easy. In and out in a snap! The origial plan was to have Hojo kick the enemy door down and to have a violent shootout lasting at least 5 minutes. Thanks to you, the work day has been cut short. He probably struggles for a while with good ideas about asking you out before he finally settles on a cute greeting card with a cloud on front. He poured himself out on the pages so I'd hate to see what he'd feel like if you turned it down.
-Katsukame: The body part thing...he's taking full advantage of that. You've got to reconsider this whole thing if you're not okay with it. You knew he was touchy feely when you started to date. He often finds himself trying to map out your body with his hands when he's in a certain type of mood. It's not always sexy though. Sometimes he just absentmindedly rubs your back and holds either of your hands. It's like he has to be touching you at all times (except full mist form). Maybe he's into physical touch as a love language or something?
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~The League of Villains (because you asked!)~
-Shigaraki: Mist form indestructible you say? Can he use this to his advantage? He just wants your time really. He wants to be held by you. he wants you to tell him how much he means to you while you stroke his hair or rub small circles into his back. He wants all that sappy stuff from you so hand it over asap. It's a demand of his so you'll need to meet it soon or else he'll get pissy with you.
-Dabi: "Soooo...how big can you make it?" You stare at him deadpanned while he gives you that shit-eating grin. Half of him is seriously asking but the other half is genuinely curious about your quirk. How does all of it work? Is it immune to his ability? What are the shortcomings? What are your range of weapons you can make? So on and whatnot. It's rare he's ever asked you to delve into something so passionately so don't disappoint. Having a long chat with him might get him to open up about his own quirk because after all, there's more to it than just the fire itself. There's the history behind it too. Opening up to someone for once might do him some good.
-Muscular: Much like Rappa, your going to get offers to spar with him often. He just wants to see how indestructible you really are when it comes to battle with someone like him. He might also be trying to impress you silently with his strength as well. Either way, there's no getting out of it with this asshole. The only way to show him what you're made of (and to get him to stop annoying you) would be to go toe to toe with him. Too bad he got his ass beat by you and now has to listen to the others talk shit about him for the next week and a half. Instead of trying to beat you up by surprise he just lets it slide. "Lucky yeah that's it. Y/N just got lucky is all." Who is he trying to convince? You or himself lol.
-Compress: Wow, a partner like you would've come in handy when he was an entertainer. Can you imagine the crazy kinda shit you two could pull with your quirks combined? Forget being a villain! This man would've made it as a magician/illusionist with you by his side lol. He tells you everyday how amazing your quirk is, and how amazing you are as well. He's a real sap for you so he'll say stupid sappy things that can cause those around you ton cringe. Stupid stuff like "You've misted into my heart my love, and fogged up the glass walls tucked away in my mind. My how you drive me mad, my dear". The others just kinda groan and turn the other way.
-Kurogiri: Out of everyone from both organizations, you'd be the best fit for this man. No need to go into detail about anything because he already knows. He's sat and watched you, observing the ins and outs of your ability. The others will surely joke about how well you two fit and about how you're basically meant for each other. Kurogiri may have gotten flustered for the first time in his entire life after this but can you blame him?
-Magne: Is ridiculously proud of you and your quirk. Maybe is a little shit for bragging about you to everyone around her 24/7. She is no stranger to doing this and has done it on multiple occasions. "Hey we could've really used Y/N at our last fight because they can make an axe out of nowhere. Crazy right? Yeah, Y/N is just impressive like that. What else can I say about my baby after all? Not only are they powerful but also perfect. Blah blah blah-" I mean she's very much into you so the others are gonna hear about it too. Poor them lol
-Twice: "Well can you change your nose? What about your ears? If you fart can you then turn yourself into full mist and mingle with that fart cloud? What about passing through stuff? Can you pass through all kinds of filters? Can you pass through the brita filter and figure out why the water pressure has been so low in the kitchen? What about the-" This man hasn't shut the fuck up yet. Don't be mad though! He's going through that thing right now where his mind is running a million miles an hour and he can't seem to catch a break. You're sure he'll be up tonight doing God knows what until 4 a.m. rolls around. For now, just grin and bear it. Fill him in on your quirk no matter how silly his question may seem. In return for your kindness, maybe he'll shower you with kisses later.
-Moonfish: Has a weird obsession with trying to smell you in any/all forms. Thinks about whether or not he could inhale your entire being in mist form, or whether he can trap you in a glass jar or something. Thinks about your weapons and whether or not they last long enough in battle. He's got a lot on his mind so be patient with him. He's amazed by your quirk. He's also very much in love with you with each passing day. Begins to wonder if you can change the body parts then have you drifted into his chest and enlarged his heart? Why is it beating so wildly when you're near then? Gets lost in his own thoughts.
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boxwinebaddie · 9 months
Note
can we have an uncle nina mental health update? :)
yes, of course, my love, my light! you are sooooo STINKIN' cute for sending this, oh my god! seriously, i know it's lame of me, but the fact that as a silly little person on the internet and in this large vast universe ( me, not you, you are an angel not of this earth, darling ) care enough about me to check on me <333 *soft, glistening eyes emoji* if you were a chapstick in the pcu, you would probably be birthday cake ( because you are so, so, SO sweet and also i am so happy you are alive, thank you for being born ) or something equally as honey-ied and candied!~ mwah mwah mwah MWAAAAH!
but, my dearest, darlingest, nonnie, i am happy to report that i am doing...much, much better! :) <3
last week, i actually called a national holiday entitled "be nice to nina day" because i cried three times from stress and my roomates were very, very lovely to me, haha.
i cleaned my room! which is...actually a very, very big accomplishment as is being alive! so anyone whose room is clean or...if you are breathing and with us, you have done so much, have come so far, and i am very, very, VERY proud of you! i did a lot of chores -- currently i am reinventing my living space!
i am a thrift store fashion girly, so i bought this little clothing rack i just set up!!!! ( is it...perhaps...too personal that i am posting pictures of my room...tbh i think even posting on my tiktok with my face in it for five seconds in a story is probably not a good idea but!!!!! besties i am CUTE!!!! i think omg help crying hkdlash ) i feel like my taste in clothing and decorating tells u everything u need to know about me also say hi to my beautiful cat the pep mascot!!! gods angel!!! she has no braincells but my god her heart is huge and she is so so pretty and angel so we love her so much! my super best friend!
doing fun makeup! wearing zany crazy deranged girl things! been out thrifting and on roadtrip adventures! my friend and i are hanging out tomorrow and shes making me DINNER! beautiful legend! icon! masterchef! i am stoked!!!!!! nina touched grass! crazy!
i bought frozen costco salmon and made sashimi...which i had to have my roomate cut for me w/ his fancy sushi knife...i am...useless in fact and so scared of knives help...AND IT WAS SO GOOD! *giiiiiirrrrrllll dinnnnneeeer* currently having a glass of box wine! TRUE TO MY USER NAME I AM A BOXWINE BADDIE! BALLIN ON A BUDGET! UR EMBARRASSING AUNTIE! UNCLE! bleached my roots ( my hair is fried but listen im embarrassed would yall still love me if i had bangs IM DISGUSTED but my...ends...good luck charlie sahdlkhsa )
im going to try and answer some comments ( which...if they are extra zesty its the box wine help ) answer some of these ask memes at some point ( GUYS I LOVE THOSE LIKE IF U WANT A ONESHOT @ ME I AM HAVING A BLAST FKN PEP STAN AND KYLE ARE SO MISERABLE I WANT TO LAUUUUUGH HSKHDSL ) and.....hopefully write more of pep 13....
which....oh my god i love pep 13. i suffered thru all of 12 for 13. i love u 13 ( i also love 13 in house md...olivia wilde kiss me on my mouth challenge ) im so fkn excited to write it but U KNOW! HEALING ERA UNCLE NINA SO PLEASE GIVE ME SOME GRACE AND TIME...which u all have!!!!! seriously i held off on responding to comments bc they have been so sweet and kind i like actually cry every time ( gonna hold a be Mean to nina day bc u guys are too nice to me ) *happy tears emoji*
but....tldr: yes i am doing much better, taking care of myself, fixing my envrionemnt, relationships, my life as a whole...and finding in this peace that i am...getting excited to write again.
sorry i know none of this was terribly relevant, i just wanted to vent and if you are curious about me! maybe this is funny for you, haha! but i love you very much, i hope you are doing well too, darling!
i'd say i hope i heal...but i think i'm going to be just fine soon.
-uncle nina in her healing era <333333
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ghostslimu · 1 year
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introduction 2.0 the updated edition
UPDATE: art account wooo!! @ghostslimu-art hi! this used to be a system blog but turns out we have a lot more to say! cw a lot of text. like, a wall of text. sorry formatting not my hobby
(scroll a little for DNI)
about me ("host" or rather, most frequent fronter): - i go by virgil (or mika), he/him - 18 (body's age) - in a lot of (pretty mainstream, sorry) fandoms but will probably never talk about them here - transmasc (mostly binary, just some guy) bi and on the aroace spectrum!! - in an (outer system) poly relationship with 2 dudes who have no idea this blog exists - formally diagnosed with a lot of stuff but that's none of your business - i write! very rarely also draw - i like horror and romance and sometimes fantasy!!
about the whole system: - we don't have a system name sadly sorry - a lot of alters, even more fragments (50+) - traumatized, putting the dissociative and disorder in DID. being a system is, generally for us, not all that fun - no collective stance on syscourse, so don't ask us about it. each alter is entitled to their own opinion, and most of us just don't care enough to have one, sorry - all information on introjects and littles will be kept off this blog for our own safety, unless they want to participate in posting in the future! - we want to reblog more but are often too shy to interact with other people #socialanxiety, so this blog is mostly just a collection of our stream of consciousness, sorry about that. this is less of a social media profile and more of an archive - all posts are rebloggable and can be reblogged by anyone no need to even ask
strict DNI: - basic criteria. racists, antisemites, homophobes, maps, terfs, etc. - believe in "narcissistic abuse" or "borderline abuse" or any other "disorder + abuse" format - fakeclaimers - porn blogs
loose DNI (aka "it depends"): - proshipper, the term is so broad it can mean whatever so to make it clear: if you fetishize and glamorize incest or pedophilia, that's gross. if you just want to ship problematic (consenting) couples, that's fine!! if you write or read about heavy disturbing topics with critical thought, that's also fine - aesthetic blogs, if you're just here to reblog our vents. our suffering isn't pretty - strong opinions on syscourse, because we won't be able to collectively agree with you. if you only follow strictly pro or anti blogs, then this one might not be for you!! - young people. generally, there won't be anything explicitly 18+ on here, but please beware and follow at your own risk!! also, if you're too young to be on this site, you're also too young to follow. we feel most comfortable with people/systems who are (bodily) 18+ - ed blogs. i get it, i've been formally diagnosed. if you relate to a mental health post, you relate to it. feel free to reblog, just don't add any triggering commentary to any of our posts, thank u system members (here's where there used to be picrews but our appearances fluctuate so frequently, there's not much sense to that): kurt - caretaker/manager/fronting gatekeeper - 27 - he/him salem - former persecutor/now protector - 16 - she/they griffin - protector - 16 - he/they mici - headspace gatekeeper/archivist - ageless - they/he/she meta (formerly bunny) - former little - ageless - they/them svi - persecutor - 17 - he/they freddie - protector - 20-something - he/him the rest won't use this blog/are kept private for safety reasons!! please do not ask about them unless we're friends!! also keep in mind that we don't sign off as we're often blurry and it's just too much work!
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drunkleech · 2 years
Note
Your answer was perfect don’t worry Valiumgirl but I feel like this is something I like to pretend doesn’t exist because I’ll never do anything about it but if you ever wanna vent about to with me you always can ms “the soundtrack” ily tale care of your cute pls Ik nic said he would be seriously pls
JAHSHWHDHHAHDA sorry its so sweet the way you always find new names to call me. MS THW SOUNDTRACK. so good. i feel the same; its a creeping thought but i never do a lot about it. the max i do is trying to dress in a masculine way sometimes ig. but im a girl et cetera. well who cares just be yourself. none of this matters. that's why i settled with myself; i can be myself however i want and that doesn't mean anythiing. dress how you like act how you like whatever makes you happy. that's the goal. and be kind ofc but that's something u already do :3 im ok i dont need to vent... i understand you in that part, too. but if you ever wanna say anything i can try, im awful at that tho sorry ;-;
and i also love you. my cuts aren't deep enough for an infection don't worrryyyy im fine ^^ I LOVE both of you so much you're always so sweet to me.....
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awkwardsimpsons · 1 month
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I don't want to put this here but I don't know where else to vent without feeling obnoxious about it.
You can skip over this if you want ill completely understand it.
Every time I post fanart on TikTok or Instagram it's always getting so much love, so many comments and it's always people taking the time of day commenting what they like about it.
When I post original art, none of that.
No comments, and the reason it gets likes at all is because people probably just scroll down their feed, like anything they see without actually looking at it if they don't care about the actual post, and move on.
So I made a post saying "Hey guys I appreciate the likes I'm getting but could you maybe place a few comments on my original art too?"
Now THAT post gets like bombed and I still don't get comments at all.
Like they're going "oh haha the little autist is upset let me like this post in support so I don't have to do anything else :)" and it's just like I'm dealing with my family again u-u
It's like WHY EVEN BOTHER I should just stop with my original stuff and only draw fanart because that's all people care about, that's all I'm good for, nobody cares about original characters, they don't exist, they shouldn't exist, they aren't relevant so why b o t h e r
I'm sorry I'm just so upset about this right now, I know it's dumb shit to be upset over but this has been happening for so long and I'm just done trying, maybe i shouldn't post original art anymore, but that would mean stopping my webcomic ive been working on for the past 13-14 years but THAT has never been noticed anyway but i just cant stop that but i dont know!!!!!
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x3rrorx · 6 months
Note
I wonder how people would act if Carolina was a man and Noah was a woman.
I wonder if all of those people that are befriending Carolina would still support those kind of behavior if a man was the one out there stalking a woman, because i feel like a lot of people ignore Carolina behavior just because Noah is a man, so who care no?
I can understand everything but now she is being ridiculous.
Okay she wanted to share her experience, but what was the point of talking about his private issues?
Why exposing him for lying about his parents death? (she implied that noah told her that his parents were still alive but they no longer talk to each other)
Why? Why would you talk about it? His dad died in front of his own eyes for fuck sake.
My grandfather died last March and I still talk about him as if he is still alive, that's a self-soothing thing for me, maybe it's weird but so what?
Why if she just wanted to talk about her experience now she still talk about him? Why she go as far as find his private profiles on internet (because hell I'm sure that she was the one that exposed his pinterest)
Why still obsessing over him if everything was just about her experience?
Her experience ended 4 freaking years ago, 4, f👏o👏u👏r damn years ago, and it's worrying how people can't see how her behavior ARE WRONG, we ain't mad because she got the dick (people still think that that's why we decided to expose her and why we dislike her, like if everyone dream is to fuck their fave) and I can't stand those women that are almost in their 30th yet can't understand that some things NEED to stay private, that talking about someone trauma is wrong and disgusting.
She said that she was no victim, she said there wasn't abuse and that both of them were toxic to each other, (let's remember that we only have her side of the story) and she was the one that regardless everything tried to get back with him, so why the hell she still talk about him?
And all of those people that kiss her ass, that weirdly enough are always bo fans, can't they see how wrong her actions are? Because, hell, they play like we are the idiots there but how can a 30 year old woman not comprehend that enough is enough? That at a certain point you need to stop? That noah is a human like all of us, with his own damn problems?
Seriously, I don't understand, she is obsessed with him and that's not even healthy, how come none of her friends care enough to show her the reality, that what she is doing is harmful to both herself and noah?
We aren't the problem, they are, Noah blocked her everywhere, he want nothing to do with her, how is this hard to understand?
Exposing them is the best thing to do, no man out there deserve to be exposed to a mass of horny teens without consent, no man deserves to be harassed by a bitter ex online, no man deserves this kind of treatment, lets just stop with stupid double standards, Noah deserves his own privacy like everyone else.
(I needed to vent sorry)
Oh 100% the second you look at it is reverse, This wouldn’t have gone down for so long. It’s okay for them all to do what they have because they are females. But if J or MG were men doing this to a female artist 💀 NOPE! There wouldn’t be a single person on their side. But Noah is a man so it doesn’t matter. They’re just women, so what harm can they actually do? 💀 fucking hate that shit.
People ignore MG’s behavior because she’s an attractive female. If she wasn’t what society saw as attractive they wouldn’t care about her and if the genders were reversed then she’d be dragged on everything. No one would let it slide.
That’s another thing. GOD absolutely NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT SHE GOT DICK FROM NOAH. No one is bothered about that. That isn’t anyone’s problem with her. no one wants to be you or in that toxic situation.
“You’re just jealous” no one is jealous of a toxic (from both sides) 3 month fling that ended in him blocking you and him needing to go to therapy over it.
Like another anon said, to some, Noah is just eye candy to look at and they are happy with their own relationships. But they still hate Mg for what she has said/done. So no, not everyone hating on her is doing so cause we think we’re gonna gain brownie points with Noah.
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berrymeter · 3 years
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i don't see how toastp*tent being referred to as 'they' and his pronouns actually being he/him changes anything about the message of his post actually... like yeah the op of the callout could've checked before posting (though referring to someone as they bc you don't know their pronouns is nothing like actively misgendering someone whose pronouns you know and i'm tired of you all acting like it's the same) but i saw someone imply that getting his pronouns right 'changes the full context of the post'... no? it doesn't? no matter the pronouns this was transphobic 😐 there are transmascs who use they/them i really don't see the point of that argument. and so what if op is cis?? we want cis ppl to look out for us and when they do we point fingers. this is nonsense actually. toastp*tent being trans doesn't change that he let out his internalised transphobia for his thousands of followers to see lol i'm willing to bet he has a trans following that could definitely be impacted negatively by the literal obvious transphobia in his post. we go through enough shit all the time we really do not need other trans ppl telling us our existence is 'ruining' anything
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adoringhaikyuu · 3 years
Note
omg i love the 'bringin up divorce during an argument' so much maybe bcs i can reallu see myself as y/n??? if ever u have time, please do another part if it's okay! thankyou so much and more imagines/scenarios/headcannons to come <333
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YOU BRING UP DIVORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT WITH THEM | 3
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characters: kenma + kyoutani + ushijima + (gn!reader)
warnings: none
notes: thank u sm!
part one / part two / part three
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kenma:
kenma had been kind of distant recently because he was too focused on his work
and you knew that it wasn't necessarily easy, there was pressure with being a public figure
but part of you constantly reminded yourself that he was essentially ignoring you to play video games all day and that really put you on edge
you got into an argument with him about it and since he was so tired, it just felt like he wasn't listening to you and was basically invalidating your feelings
in reality he just didn't want to fight with you, so he shut down, hoping that letting you vent would make you feel better
but it felt like he didn't care
so you snapped and let out your intrusive thought
"if this is how it's going to be, we might as well end things here, kenma."
his eyes widened immediately, his mouth dropping open as he froze in place, suddenly feeling stuffy in his oversized hoodie. his hair was already up, but he felt overwhelmingly hot...and cold? was it possible to feel both at the same time?
while he was going through this turmoil in his mind, his silence only made you believe that he truly didn't care. maybe he was happy to be getting rid of you. but just as you made a move to walk away, he came to his senses somehow and stepped forward.
he grabbed your hand hesitantly and you finally looked into his eyes, noticing the panic in them. "please..." his voice was quiet, but as strong as he could make it, despite the erratic beat of his heart in his chest. "i don't want––please don't leave me..."
you paused, honestly a little shocked by his words. he never was one to outwardly show affection, he stuck to subtle actions.
but you sighed, "it just feels like you don't even want me anymore ken..."
he closed the distance between you and placed a hand on your cheek, looking into your eyes. "i don't want you, i need you. i need you now and i'll need you forever. you're what gets me through everything––" he looked down sheepishly, his tone apologetic. "i'm sorry i haven't been showing it enough, baby. but i promise i'll do better. please let me try."
though you wish he'd realized sooner, his words did soothe you and you couldn't help but accept. you nodded and bit your lip, "okay."
the relief was clear in his eyes as he sighed and gave you a small smile. "thank you." he pressed his lips to yours softly, keeping his eyes closed when he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours. he didn't say more, but you could tell in his head, he was saying i love you, i really do.
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kyoutani:
you and kyoutani were both bold characters
not afraid to say what you were thinking––or rather you let your emotions get to the best of you and speak as soon as the words came to mind
he lost a match today and he already wasn't in a bad mood
so that put you in a bad mood
he said something stupid and that fueled the fire
so now you were both basically shouting at each other, fumes flying out of your ears
"i'm tired of this shit, taro! you need to watch your temper!"
he was storming away from you but you were nowhere near done with him, hot on his tail. "oh yeah that's real funny coming from you!" he practically growled as he made his way into the bedroom. “i’m tired of your shit too! you think you’re so perfect?” he scoffed and you rolled your eyes, having had enough.
your fists were clenching at your sides and you blinked back your tears furiously before letting out a sharp breath. “you know what?” your voice was icy and though it got his attention, he didn’t turn to face you, only continuing about his business.
“if you’re so sick of me then we should just get a divorce.” as soon as you uttered those words, you both froze for different reasons. you knew you didn’t mean it, you would never—sure he got on your nerves sometimes but you loved him to death. you were just so wound up that your fight or flight reacted too quickly and spoke for you without giving you a chance to think.
kyoutani’s body became rigid as a rock within a second. he swallowed audibly, almost feeling a sour taste in his mouth just from your words. surely you didn’t mean that, right? ”what?” his voice was as quiet as a whisper, it lost all its bite.
he turned around to find you staring at him with wide, teary eyes, confusion clear in them. “you want a…” he couldn’t even say the word.
you shook your head, your mouth closing nervously. “i didn’t—i don’t want that.” you sighed, defeated, bringing a hand up to cover your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. “i didn’t mean to say that i was just upset.”
you tried to blink back the tears again and cursed quietly when one of them slipped, dropping your hand and looking up when you felt a hand cradle your jaw, a thumb swipe your cheek.
kyoutani was looking at you fiercely, a mixture of emotions pooling in his eyes. "...i'm sorry that i made you this upset––" his voice was gruff, regretful. "i never want to hurt you."
your bottom lip trembled and you stepped into his arms, pressing your face against his chest, holding him tight as he did the same to you. he leaned his cheek on your head and sighed, "i'm sorry."
you could feel him sigh in relief as you sunk into him. you knew he was tired, disappointed in himself for not winning tonight. you gripped him tight. "i'm sorry too."
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ushijima:
when ushijima was tired, he was often dismissive without even realizing
now, you never shouted at each other
so your (rare) fights usually consisted of sighs and eye rolls and even silent treatments
and somehow that felt worse
it just felt like he wasn't listening to you today, and you had already had a stressful day at work
so you were really just talking without thinking
you sighed for the fifteenth time in the past ten minutes, throwing on your pajamas as you and ushijima argued. "you're not listening to what i'm saying––"
he raised a brow, "i am listening, i just don't see the problem. because there is none."
you rolled your eyes so far back you felt as though they would get stuck in the back of your skull. you tried to take deep breaths to calm yourself down, but the little devil on your shoulder was just shouting at you to be petty, to lash out.
in all honesty, you were hoping to mutter it to yourself at most, but it came out way louder than intended and he managed to hear it from across the bedroom. "well maybe the problem is that we need a divorce, how about that."
you paused, your hands straightening out your sweatshirt slowing down as you blinked, suddenly feeling a faint urge to throw up. your back was turned to your husband but you could feel his eyes staring at you, practically burning through your clothes, piercing your soul.
you felt him step up behind you hesitantly. "...is that what you really want?"
you swallowed and turned around slowly, choosing to focus your gaze on his chest. you shook your head, the words taking a while to form. you felt guilty and small under his gaze, you didn't mean to say something so cruel, something you didn't mean.
"i...i don't want a divorce, i promise." you sighed, and he tilted your head up to look into your eyes, making you take notice of the fear in his. "i'm just overwhelmed, and it slipped out." you looked at him earnestly, "i promise i would never want that."
he blinked a few times before nodding once, "okay." he stared at you for a moment, his heart aching at the thought that he wouldn't be able to call you his anymore. "i'm sorry, truly...can i hold you?"
you gave him a small smile, immediately stepping into his embrace. "you know you don't have to ask, ushi."
he held you tight and pressed his lips to your forehead. "i'll do better from now on, i never want to lose you."
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chanluster · 3 years
Text
10/10 | {m} ; {c} ; {f}
oneshot | friends with benefits! au | 18.7k words
“Because what you feel for your best friend cannot be described in words, but in numbers.”
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s u m m a r y > > you and bang chan had no secrets between one other. each detail of your life would be discussed with your best friend of forever, no matter how insignificant it may be, through a little system you both had concocted — through a small rating. a number out of ten. a simple concept, used from being a child and rating your cookie a solid eight out of ten to your later years in high school, giving your first kiss a measly five. however, when you confess an average rating of your sex life in one hazy evening, chan decides this dilemma cannot be solved with buying you consolation cookies. he must simply raise that rating, all by himself.
w a r n i n g s > > friends to lovers! au, college! au, music! major chan, music! major reader, you both are literally soulmates, came out the womb holding hands, so much teasing, sexual! tension! chan has a massive fucking cock (i mean isn’t it obvious already), shit loads of making out, aggression, fingering, oral (f. and m. receiving), unprotected sex (stay safe homies!!!), kinda hate sex, orgasming left and right, ex! hyunjin, who’s also really bad at sex lmfaoaoao sorry king, chan is hella soft dom at the start but goes !!! hella hard later!!!! (i mean idk but) shit ton of fluff, friend! jisung which chan gets soooo jealous of, reader is so fucking annoyin, teensy weensy bit of angst, and yeh basically me venting out my love for chan once again
p l a y l i s t > > here!
a u t h o r ’ s n o t e > > this is dedicated to my dear friend chloe, boo i love u so much and thank you for that insane prompt :( also help this feels so rushed to me at the end but i hope y’all do enjoy <3
t a g l i s t > > @hanflix @thatonepieceofpineapple @kimkailover @decembermoonskz @smilesohwas @missskzbiased @illicit-roses @embroideredstarz @freckledquokka @moonluvbunny @aliceu @coupscarat @maedesculpaeusoubi @baby-wolf @multi-fandom-kpop-stan​ @minaamhh @leescrt
back to masterlist
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“I’M SORRY, BUT I DON’T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.”
Hyunjin’s face faltered completely at your words. It was expected, really. The poor boy was not anticipating this news.
“Wh-what?” he asked, a little too loudly, catching the stares of a few others in the coffee shop. You immediately glared at him, and he retracted back into his seat, but still had a befuddled expression on his face. 
You sighed a little. “Look,” you started, swirling your latte with a thin, wooden stirrer. “I’m going to be completely honest with you. I just think we’re much better off as friends.”
“Friends?” the boy flinched at the term, and even you had to hide your self-distaste. God, ____, at least try to be a little nicer! “Damn it, we’ve been dating for nearly three months, and you think we’d automatically become friends?!” he leaned in, knitting his eyebrows in growing desperation. “What the hell happened?”
You fought hard to not scratch the back of your neck. And possibly run away from the shop. Taking a long sip, you tried to feign the most sympathetic expression you could muster. “Hyunjin, please…”
“B-but, babe—” he started, and his eyes widened, trying to grab onto your hands which cupped the latte. “I don’t understand, we were so happy!” He huffed a smile, trying to convince you of your oh-so heavenly times spent with him. “Why are you thinking like this?”
You tried not to retract your hand from his — not only because it was hard to console him, but because they were embarrassingly sweaty. “Don’t think I have just done this on a whim. I have thought long about this decision.”
Finally, something out of your mouth which wasn’t a blatant lie. You had been thinking of breaking up with this goon — had the notion in your mind for half the time you dated him.
“____,” he said, and the melancholy you heard in his voice had you silencing your tongue. “What’s happened?” He began to caress your hand with his fingers. “Have I...have I done something wrong?”
Oh no. There it was. The reaction you dreaded.
Well, kind of. But still. Not the reaction you imagined in the perfect situation. 
Reluctantly, you put a hand over his fingers, hoping that your face was a painting of sympathy. 
“Hyunjin.”
Don’t say it, girl! Don’t you dare!
“It’s...it’s not you.”
You put your hand on your heart. 
“It’s me.”
Oh, Jesus.
Your eyes raised to his own, wide and glistening. 
Now, you knew Hwang Hyunjin was not the brightest kid on campus. The boy, who once asked you what the purpose of a spork was, may not have possessed the most intelligence, but you were scared that he may be smart enough to figure out that what you just said was complete, utter bullshit. 
Face it, ____. You’re done for.
A few tears spilled from his eyes, and a pang of guilt shot through you. “I-I see.” 
He did not let go of your hands. “We can still be...friends, right?” he sniffled, blinking at you rather irritatingly. “Like, we can still hang out together?”
You raised a brow, but reigned in a sarcastic reply. The boy would probably not even understand. “Of course,” you replied, a saccharine smile on your face. “But I think it’s best if we had some space from each other, okay?”
That was not the answer he seemed to be looking for, but he nodded, a little sadly. “Okay.” He still refused to take his hand away. “Does that mean I can’t rock up at yours midnight anymore if the junior needs a little taking care of?” 
Your brows could not help furrow in absolute exasperation. “Yes, Hyunjin,” you monotoned, unable to believe that you put up with this man for three months. “Now can you let go of my hand?” 
Realising his clammy hold on you, he flushed, looking away from your directory gaze. “I...should go, then.”
“No, no,” you insisted, getting up from your seat as you grabbed onto your drink. “I shall leave. I’m the one who dumped this news on you.” 
You debated leaving without paying for the latte — you knew the boy was still infatuated enough to cover your expenses. Sadly, shame coursed through your veins, and you cursed yourself for feeling a little sympathy for your now ex. “Here,” you offered, fishing out a little cash from your jacket. “For the drink.”
When you nearly stepped past him, you stopped, looking down at him as he tilted his head upwards. Your hand itched to put upon his shoulder, but you knew better. Hyunjin would only take that as a hopeful sign.
“I’m sorry,” was the last thing you said before you left the coffee shop.
Upon falling into a leisurely step onto the street, you let out a harsh breath, an endless amount of relief washing over you.
You were almost delighted to let Hwang Hyunjin go.
Now, it was not like he was a monster who had caged you into his two-feet-squared, dingy flat. In fact, the boy was, in almost every way, a decent boyfriend, whose stupid personality earned him a few laughs. 
Although extremely corny, the problem was not truly all him.
It was partly you as well.
Hearing your phone vibrate, you brought it out from your jeans pocket, already having an inkling on who the sender was, spamming you with messages.
CHRIS THE PISS :
bitch have you done it?
CHRIS THE PISS :
helloooooo??
CHRIS THE PISS :
hoe answer the phone i’m dying!! 
CHRIS THE PISS :
or prolly hyunjin at this moment lmaooo
You could not help the eyeroll which escaped from his words, and you decided to ignore him until you arrived at your destination. 
Which, evident from the persistent vibrations still, you figured you could not do.
CHRIS THE PISS :
i KNOW ur reading my messages DAMN just tell me!!
CHRIS THE PISS :
unless this is hyunjin and u killed her FUCK
CHRIS THE PISS :
haha dude whats poppin!! best man for ____ by far don't know why she was breaking up w u 
YOU :
chan i will kill u :)
CHRIS THE PISS :
hyunjin i promise i didn't mean it when i said u looked like a cheese string w ur new hair
CHRIS THE PISS :
that was ur girl putting words in my mouth 
YOU:
omfg chan STFUUU i’m coming
CHRIS THE PISS :
PLS HYUNJIN I SWEAR UR SEXC
Letting the man panic, you turned a left into student residence, buildings lined down the street, providing accommodation for hundreds of people like you in need of a place to sleep, eat, party, and contemplate the inevitability of death under.
Smiling at a few acquaintances, you entered the designated building, finding yourself with dozens of doors of the same, dead colour. Walking along the hallway, you stopped right at the very last one, bringing out your keys.
With a single twist you unlocked the door, but before you wrapped your hand around the knob the door swung open, catching you completely off guard.
“Funny, Hyunjin, how did you manage to transform into a little bitch so quickly?”
You cursed at the man who welcomed you.
“Damn it, Chan,” you said, hand on your chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Sad it didn’t kill you off, then.”
You heard him splutter into laughter at your sad attempts to pinch his shoulder, glaring daggers into his crescent eyes. The bumbling idiot was Bang Chan, the one man you managed to keep for your entire life. That too is purely because none of you could manage a stable, healthy relationship — which was a shame, of course, when your best friend, with his fluffy, raven curls, black-oversized hoodie and sweatpants, was admired by so many. You often wondered how you had not fallen at his feet when he smiled at you, but then he’d open his mouth and all would be understood, as your anger would flare up, and rush to hit him as hard as possible. 
He gave you such a smile then, fingers gripping the doorframe. “How is Rapunzel, then? Sent him back to the tower?”
Wrenching his hand off the frame, which nearly had him falling onto the floor, you side-stepped past his stumbling figure, peeling off your jacket. “Rapunzel is never stepping in our lands again.”
After regaining his step, he muttered a cursed endearment your way and sat himself down on the couch, instantly settling his laptop upon his legs. “Oh, God. How badly did you break his heart, ____?”
Smiling, you dumped the jacket on the side table as you entered the living room, settling on the other end of his sofa. Propping your legs upon his, you pondered over the answer, and said, “At least a good seven.”
Chan let out a little whistle. “Oh, he’s definitely causing a shitshow on the groupchat tonight.” A huffed laugh was his answer. “Want Chinese or Indian tonight?”
“Surprise me,” you said as he brought out his phone. He dialled a number, and then you added, “Actually, can we please get Chinese?”
“No, we’re getting Indian.”
You raised a brow. “Didn’t you cry the last time you had their special curry?” 
The man stared at you for a minute before sighing, putting the phone to his ear. “I’d like your least spiciest dish please.”
He groaned as you pushed his legs off the couch, laughing at his pathetic tolerance towards spice. As he carried on with his order, you grabbed the TV remote, surfing through the channels. 
Even after all these years, you still found it endearing how Chan understood the depth of the numbers you tell him. The system between you two had been created during kindergarten, when, on the last day, you both had received such delicious cookies that words could not express the joy you felt when having the first bite. It was a mere joke at first, rating random classmates despicably low in middle school to even more serious situations, when you moaned to your best friend of your mundane kiss, expecting fireworks and butterflies yet were only met with an over-enthusiastic tongue. 
Chan himself used this system  — it was the reason you knew of his distaste towards spicy food, and certain girls he had dated in the past. Even now, when the two of you had started college together, working on the same projects and going to the same parties, this concoction had not been shelved in your memories. Although this may be something which others might deem insignificant, the concept had become a pillar of your friendship with this absolute loser.
The food arrived within the hour, and you both continued your box set as the plastic containers were cracked open, the pungent smell of curries and biryanis filling the room. Chan provided the plates and cutlery while you poured him the sufficient amount, and you rebuked his whining as you added the spicier dishes onto his plate.
“I refuse to let you eat only korma, Crispy,” you scolded. “Prick, careful! Don’t spill it on your laptop!”
“Bitch!” he yelped as a bit of the residue nearly stained his sweats, but was saved by his hands. “Just ruin everything I wear, why don’t you? Now I got curry on my fingers!”
You propped your legs over his again, eyes upon the screen once more, and the action occurring. “Just lick it off?”
“How about you do it for me?” the boy then simpered out, and you nearly tossed your entire dish on his head. 
“Let’s just focus on Tommy and his cocaine problem,” you dismissed him, but returned his impish smile as you elbowed him, nearly causing his food to stain his hoodie.
The two of you seemed to settle down after a bit and watched the show, commenting on the terrible choices the characters were making, and then boasted of how you and him could easily be the better leader from the protagonist. Soon, you had finished your takeout, and after Chan followed, he got up, hurrying into the kitchen situated behind the doorway in the lounge. He then came back, you delighted to find his hands occupied with two tubs of Ben & Jerrys’.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” you sang, snatching one of the tubs from him and pulling open the cover, digging straight in. “I didn’t know you brought ice cream!”
“Thought it’d help with the breakup,” he confessed, settling back into the sofa, shuffling closer to you. “But it doesn’t look like you need it.”
“Oh, I can’t believe Hyunjin broke my heart like this!”
Chan shook his head at your melodrama. “You may fool the looney princess, but you’re not fooling me.”
“You know me too well,” you said, which he agreed to with an absent-minded hum, eating his dessert.
There was a short pause, a comfortable silence reigning upon you both for a little before your best friend broke it, gulping down his ice cream.
“____?” 
“No, you’re not having any of mine.”
Chan prodded you lightly with his foot. “No, I don’t mean that. I was just wondering something.”
“Shoot.”
“You’re not...upset, right?” He took a bite of his ice cream. “Like, I know you always complained about him, but breakups can be difficult.”
You looked at him, and saw genuine concern painted on his face — along with a little vanilla stain on the corner of his lips. “You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you’re not, okay?” he continued. “Especially with me.”
Your heart melted slightly. “Of course, Chan, don’t worry. I wouldn’t ever lie to you.” 
Turning to the TV screen, you sighed as you thought of your recent relationship. “There were good moments for sure. He was still a sweet guy, you know?” You then stabbed the creamy plains inside the tub. “It was just so...dull.”
The man beside you took in another bite, if a bit slow. “What do you mean?”
Following him, you relished the chocolate goodness, swallowing. “Dates were kind of boring. I carried most of the conversations because he’s too thick to talk about anything.”
Chan let out a soft snort. “I remember you telling me about it. I can certainly believe it.”
“Well, you won’t believe what I’m about to tell you next.” You focused on your ice cream, a sarcastic smile plastered upon your face. “Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin was terrible at sex.”
You did not need to see your best friend to sense his shock. “What?”
A small chuckle escaped you. “First time he fucked me, I think I cried. Not because it was so good, no, but because it was so bad.”
“No way,” Chan said, brows furrowed. “Didn’t you say he had a big dick or something?”
“That’s the downside, bud,” you countered, halfway through your tub. “Because he had a massive cock he thought that was enough for me to enjoy. But it’s not. He just did not know what to do with it!” 
The man had been silenced. He took another bite of his ice cream, in disbelief. “So you were...deprived of pleasure?”
“Deprived?” You scoffed. “Chan, I thirsted for a crumb of pleasure. God, can you believe I’ve faked nearly all my orgasms with him?”
This time, your friend glanced at you in horror. Carrying on, you said, “The only real orgasm I had was not even because of him. God, I was thinking about Lee Donghyuck singing between my legs.”
A soft growl entered your ears. “Oh Christ.”
“Bastard was so proud when I came all over him,” you crowed, trying to sweeten your bitterness with the dessert. “If only I told him I undid myself for an idol I’m never going to meet.”
Your friend did not say anything. The episode finished, and when you noticed his further silence, you used it to your advantage, starting a romantic comedy before he could even complain.
Even with the movie on for about twenty minutes, and the romance you thoroughly enjoyed, the man stayed quiet, idly stirring his melted ice cream in the tub. You ignored his rather odd behaviour, assuming he was either thinking of his assignment or had gotten a brain freeze. Either way, it let you watch your movie in peace, swooning outwardly at the man’s teasing to the girl.
One hour in, and you asked if Chan was okay. “Yeah...yeah, I’m good,” was his answer, sending you a second-long smile before going back to his brain freeze. You raised a confused brow, but went back to the chick flick, gasping when the boy went back for his love.
This was it. The fireworks, the passion which exuded from the mere actions of lips enveloping lips, hands holding onto waists or necks or locks and refusing to let go. You craved for your heart to drop down in lust as you let yourself fall, be wrapped up in another as you undid yourself. Where was this? Where was this for you?
Did you not deserve your desires to be fulfilled? Did you not deserve to have your entire world turned upside down in pure exhilaration?
Before you knew it, the credits rolled, and you let out a long, laboured sigh, leaning into the cushions. “Maybe it’s time I find myself a millionaire who’d pay me to have sex with me.”
The man was still looking at the now black screen. “Do you mean a prostitute?”
“Well, yes, but—” you groaned. “You know what? Maybe I’m meant to stay forever displeased.”
It was after a long time your best friend spoke. “Or…” he cleared his throat. “You find yourself someone who would pleasure you.”
You turned to him. “Wowie, thank you for a perfect solution! I really wouldn’t know what I’d do without you.”
Then, you saw his eyes darken. “____.” He propped the tub upon the coffee table. “Why search for other alternatives when you have options right here?”
Confusion marred your mind, not just from his words, but his entire change of character. “Chan, what are you on about?”
“____,” he said, and his hand inched closer to yours. “ I’m saying you should have a friends with benefits.”
The silence was suddenly heard. You did not realise the sheer weight of this man’s gaze till his very stare gravitated you to him. The lights were dimmed, and all you could see from the laptop’s light was his face — his beautiful face. 
What was all this? Why was your best friend looking at you like that? Why were you being affected by his gaze?
“I…” You could barely get the words out. “I never thought about that before.”
Chan had no such problem. “Well, maybe you should. There are many who would gladly be that person for you.”
You gave him a look. “And who would they be?”
A slight cock of his head. “____, who is your best friend, in the same class as you, share the same interests and would help you out in any way whatsoever?”
The question rather befuddled you. Why couldn’t the man just say the answer already? You thought of the few viable options, tossing, turning the names. 
Then it occurred to you. Your friend’s face sparked a little in what could only have been hope.
“I know!” you exclaimed, holding onto his arm. “I should ask Jisung!”
The little sliver of hope in his eyes morphed into annoyance. “What the fuck?”
Raising your brow, you asked, “Is that not the right answer?” You listed out the evidence. “He’s basically my best friend, is in music with us, we like similar things and would be willing to help me in any situation. I think.”
When you were done, you found yourself more confused when Chan closed his eyes, shaking his head. “What?” you demanded.
“Oh my God.”
His fingers caressed yours, and you gasped to find your skin prickling at the touch. You raised your eyes to his, and found yourself lost for words.
“You dumb bitch, I should be your friends-with-benefits.”
Your mouth dropped.
Perhaps you would have said something, but then his thumb began stroking your skin, and you figured it was better to relish that instead. Thus, you looked at him, gobsmacked, not entirely sure what to say to his declaration. 
It seemed Chan was a little nervous too. “Look, I can tell you’re surprised…” he paused, a little lost for words as well. “Fuck, I guess I shouldn’t have suggested so early into the breakup, but you just…”
He pinned you with his gaze. “I couldn’t have my best friend miss out on the pleasure she deserves. And if that means giving you the pleasure myself, then I will do it.”
Bang Chan. Not just the best friend you’ve ever had, but the man who proposed benefits to this certain friendship.
“Well,” you got out, after what seemed like eternity. “Well damn.”
“We don’t have to do anything right now. Or even anytime soon.” He let go off your hands, and you did not know why the touch was missed so greatly. “Just...think about it for me, will you?”
You didn’t really have it in you to refuse. “Of course,” you said, feeling the need to touch something. Your eyes fell upon the remote, and figured you should distract yourself by watching the next episode of the series you previously watched. 
You needed a clear distraction, or else Chan would not need to wait long for his answer.
The episode began, and you watched, clamping your lips together as you felt the man shuffle closer to you, one hand sprawled on the top of the couch with his other hand idly surfing on his laptop. You rooted your eyes to the screen, finding yourself engulfed in 1920s England, trying to forget that your best friend left no space between you two.
Managing to somehow distract yourself from the lack of distance, you even began to relax, swooning softly of the gangster’s mannerisms towards his love interests, their intimate dancing in her bedroom. It was touching, and you even let yourself lean into your friend, who, too, glanced every now and then, a little smile upon his face.
Everything was fine and dandy until the characters started to kiss.
Now, there was nothing wrong with kissing. You were a hopeless romantic, and adored to see the actions of love on screen, the final breaking of barriers between two characters.
The problem was, the kissing did not seem to end there. The bigger problem was that this lust on screen made you all the more aware of your best friend beside you.
You froze, watching with no small amount of confused shock as the characters increased their desires, unbuttoning their clothes, discarding them as their lips moved against each other’s. Your eyes widened at the nudity, once never a bother but suddenly extremely embarrassing, as they collided, bare chest to bare chest.
The matters did not help at all when you sensed the increased beating of Chan’s heart, almost as loud as the instruments harmonising in the background. His searching on his laptop had ceased, as frozen as you were as his eyes refused to look away to the man and woman making love.  
It was too much. You had seen much worse scenes in your life before, but never had one made you so hot and bothered. Of course you knew why, though. Of course you knew, when the man you laid your head upon was breathing harder than you do when you walk up a flight of stairs. 
You did not waste a minute longer as you pointed the remote to the TV, and switched the screen off. Completely black, void of further lust radiating through the glass. 
A shuddered breath escaped Chan. “Well...double damn.”
You did not answer back. Only distanced yourself on the sofa, his fingers on the couch brushing against the back of your head. His touch may have been the last thing you needed then.
But that was not true. Seeing that sex scene, all glorified and affectionate, had you craving his touch. Your eyes could not bear to meet him, but his presence was suffocating enough. God, if you did not leave that couch now, you would dare to do something quite unimaginable.
Chan did not seem to move either. Your presence, too, had him nearly choking out a pained sob. Anymore time spent, and he would have another problem erecting soon.
At last, when a few minutes seemed like hours, you felt your friend stir. You were surprised to be devastated at the prospect of him leaving.
You were further shocked when, as Chan mustered all the strength in himself to get off the couch, he was stopped by your hand encircling his wrist. 
Whirling his head at your direction, his eyes widened. He was met with your own aghast ones, as your hand tugged him back to the couch.
You did not let go of his wrist as you whispered the words you never thought would have left your mouth that night.
“Let’s do it, Chan.”
His hand went limp in your hold.
For a second you thought he died under your grasp, but the way he parted his mouth went against your judgement. Perhaps you had sent his living soul flying out of his body, but you could not blame him — you did not feel at all like yourself just then.
“I wanna do it,” you murmured, refusing to let go. 
Chan’s eyes darted to the tight hold upon his wrist, and then to you once more. He opened his mouth, closing it straight after as he glanced away.
With a heavy sigh, he looked to you once more, an abundance of emotions swirling in his usually mischievous, soft eyes.
“Are you sure, ____?” He leaned a little closer, causing your heart to malfunction for a second. “You don’t have to think about it now—”
“Well, it’s all I can think about,” you cut him off, eyes never leaving him, despite the reddening of your cheeks. “And I want to do it.
“Like I said, Chan.” You shuffled a little closer, and your knees brushed against his. “I am deprived of pleasure.”
The man blinked once, twice, taking your declaration all in. He had to tell himself that this was not a dream, but a very much a fortunate reality, and that you were asking him of something he had been wanting to give you for a very long time.
There it was. Something he wasn’t quite ready to admit. You wanting your desires met by him was so much more than enough.
Dreaming still, he slithered one hand around your waist, almost like second nature as the other found refuge upon your face. His fingers were tender, softly caressing your cheeks as his eyes beheld you in a way he had never before..
This change of sight had you unable to look away from him.
“If you feel uncomfortable with all this…” he swept away a stray curl. “I will stop. That’ll be the end of it.”
You nodded, finding solace within his eyes. “I know.”
But there was no discomfort. Rather an impatient welcome, a growing urge for your needs met. Promises fulfilled. 
When you sensed him lean closer, so shy and yet so determined, hands still holding you, those vows were sure to be carried out.
You found out in the best way possible — the second when Chan brushed his lips against yours. 
His touch had you flying out your skin; well, not really, but it sure felt as such, when his mouth moulded with yours, a confirmation that he was strangely perfect for your own two lips, that he was meant to embed himself upon your mouth. 
You closed your eyes, heart climbing up your chest as your hands skimmed around his neck. Chan began his movements, and you were so unaccustomed to the actions that you could not help but be led by his kiss. The man had a way of making you listen to his every order, vocalised or not. 
The kiss was so...unreal. It was all that rang in your mind, over and over as the man took his time; he carried out a sensual rhythm upon your lips, not only to avoid overwhelming you, but to fully take in his situation — that he was kissing you, and no other girl who he had never dreamed of. 
He had all the time in the world for this.
The hand upon your waist gripped onto you a little harder, nails skirting around the hem of your shirt. His tongue teased you now, running along for entrance, to delve inside and drink in your every essence. Your mouth practically begged the man to prowl inside, opening up to him completely, a signal of full trust. 
You wanted this as much as he did. 
His elated rush was expressed through his tongue, when it slithered inside your mouth. Butterflies erupted in your body at the way he swirled it along with yours, almost playing with your tongue as if you both did. Of course, this is slightly different, because your gimmicks with Chan never had you salivating at the mouth. Nor feeling like you’re about to leak into your clothes from his touches.
Which really was the situation you ended up in; Chan, his hand now skimming under your shirt, revelling the skin of your abdomen, warming beneath his touch. The hand, once upon your face, had latched upon your locks, while you ran your fingers through his own velvety hair, nearly undoing yourself over the soft feel. 
Just when you thought he was going in for more, he broke away, hands still upon you — your breathing was ragged, the man in front of you panting slightly as well. His eyes, with no small amount of surprise, seemed a little feverish, whether that be from a random cold he contracted during the minutes he kissed you, or…
Or, as you found yourself biting your lip, he took an intoxicated toll over you, and how exquisite it was to drive his tongue in your mouth.
“Better than Rapunzel?” He whispered, so close his breath fanned your lips, spit-slick thanks to him. 
You made sure he was aware of your fingers threading in his locks, eliciting a low murmur. “Rapunzel better not leave the tower again.”
Chuckling, he wasted no time before he was upon you again, an invisible leash on him threatening to snap. He drove the shirt higher, skirting up your sides until he broke away from you for a mere second before peeling the shirt off of you and tossing it beside him.
Heaving, the sight of you in a bra was making the leash all the more tight, hands never leaving your sides as he latched onto your neck. Leaving open-mouthed kisses, down and down until his lips trailed past your collarbone, you let the moans leave your mouth, heightened and quick and unexpected. Suddenly he descended on you, kneeeling on the floor with hands following suit. 
Pleasure. You were oozing with pleasure as you hurried for the hems of his black hoodie, needing to have it off and run your hands on the expanse of his chest. Chan, a little preoccupied, did not realise your demands until you whined out your request.
“Chan—!” you gasped out as his lips left your belly, fingers upon the buttons of your trousers. “Hoodie, I need it off!”
The man only continued with his task, taking the zip down. “Up,” he rushed out, gesturing with his hand.
Dazed, you replied with a confused murmur, only understanding the need to take his stupid hoodie off.
He looked up from his endeavours, and the sight of him hovering between your legs nearly undid you. “I mean your hips, baby, put them up.” He grabbed onto the sides of your jeans. “I wanna take this off.”
Gulping, you raised your hips, giving Chan ease to pull your jeans, all the way down until your legs were bare, save for the soiled underwear which he instantly landed his eyes on. 
His mouth slipped out an uneasy fuck, which was just the right way to have you leaking even further. “Chan, come on,” you hurried, seething at the throbbing. 
His hands pushed you back on the couch, travelling down until they caressed the back of your knees. Pulling you closer from there, he leaned in until he was a few inches away from your moistened cunt, hurting more the longer he made you wait.
It wasn’t his fault, really. He still felt as if he’s living a dream he did not deserve. 
Fingers drumming against the back of your knees, the man blew a little upon your folds, and you let out a strained hiss at the soft breeze. This hypersensitivity was going to be your undoing, but even the smallest of actions brought you such thrill.
“I’m about to spoil you good, ____,” he whispered, and before you could reply, he descended.
The first kitty lick along the surface had you in shock.
Tendrils of pleasure gushed inside you, lurking all over your body as Chan swiped his tongue along the outside of your cunt, teasing, shying away, awaiting your reaction. You answered him with an indecipherable noise, a sound which had never escaped you before.
Maybe because no one had ever played with your cunt like this.
You truly had wasted your time with Hyunjin — this man, tasting your arousal, let out a satisfied hum, and when he dug deeper with his tongue, spreading your legs further, the moans you let escape were, for the first time, absolutely real. No acting, no bullshit.
Just like your best friend promised.
“Chan—!” You stuttered out, when he began circling your clit. “God, just like that!” You encouraged further, hips shaking at the way he made a mess of you. 
In response his hands left your legs, pressing them upon your hips. To your horror he paused his actions, peering up from your legs. 
The slick shining upon his lips could well have made you cum on his face right then and there. “I need you to stay still, baby,” he said, his hands on your hips keeping you in place, as his eyes did the same. “So I can do this properly.
“I don’t want you getting half-assed pleasure, okay?”
His soft demands, his calm explanations brought you in a further state of frenzy. You could not nod faster, chuckling emitting from him as his hands travelled down once more. 
“Good girl.”
And his mouth was upon your cunt again, this time the leash finally snapping as his tongue hardened against the seams. Your moans could have been heard in the hallways, but you didn’t particularly care when Chan, in the midst of his ravenous lapping, introduced the prospect of his fingers, caressing your dripping folds, swiping them over around the edges.
You didn’t know what to do — your hands scrambled to fist the fabric of the couch, laying back against the pillows. The hold grew tighter when your best friend slid his middle finger inside of you.
The journey may have been slow, but that was what made it all the more delightful. Feeling it go deeper and deeper had a particularly loud groan flying out of you, but the rhythm he adopted, pulling it out, but then diving it back again without leaving your cunt, had you delirious. 
A once foreign, unimaginable feeling you never thought you’d experience, was back inside — the heavy sensation deep within your gut, like a dull ache which grew more known the harder Chan worked between your legs. The feeling you had only ever experienced when you imagined Donghyuck instead of your ex-boyfriend in this similar situation. 
Fuck, there it is, you thought. The feeling of your incoming orgasm.
And it was not going to go if this man worked harder than the devil tonight.
“Chan—fuck—” you got cut off when he increased the speed of his finger inside of you. “I-I’m close.”
Never ceasing his finger, he looked up at you, hooded eyes welcoming you despite the tenderness on his face. “You’re doing so good, ____. So fucking good for me,” he cooed, melting your heart despite the situation. 
This time, he accompanied his fingering with a second digit, stretching out your walls and working harmoniously together in making you submit to him. Already you felt as if he’d filled you up, and the actions of his digits practically scissoring inside of you had every muscle in your body readying for release.
He dove back in, merciless to your clit, and all this work, everything at once, was so much that when you cried out, your release had to follow through. You couldn’t control yourself as you let your cum escape, staining the couch and the floor — most importantly, how most of it landed in Chan’s mouth. 
Breathing unevenly, and louder than you ever thought possible, you closed your eyes, slumping further into the couch. You sensed an emptiness inside you, and figured Chan had taken out his fingers. Opening your eyes, you saw him close your legs together, propping his head upon your lap, hands supporting his chin. He looked up at you, licking his lips free of your residue.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
The man smiled at you. “Satisfied?” he asked, fingers caressing your skin. 
Oh, of course you were. Damn it, you were more than satisfied — you were positively elated. If he had managed to make you cum with his fingers and tongue alone, imagine what he could have done with his dick.
You blinked. 
Imagine what he could have done with his dick.
“____?”
Perking up, you looked to the man kneeling before you still, anticipation brimming in his stature. “Please tell me you didn’t fake it.”
Embarrassment engulfed your body at the idea. “Chan, if you really think I faked all of that then I deserve an Oscar.”
Pride washed over his features. “Good.”
You then watched him slowly get up, climbing over you, hands skirting up your figure till he captured your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You had enough strength to kiss him back, but failed to exceed him when he began nibbling upon the swell of your lip, making you revert to stage one of your growing need all over again.
Breaking away, you glanced up at him, holding onto his hoodie. “I want...more.”
The man stilled his actions, hands going limp upon your skin. You had about three seconds of panicking as you tugged on his clothes, whispering, “Wait, Chan, it’s okay if—”
But suddenly, his hands left your face, and the panic increased with you being lifted into the air, his hold under your knees and back as he brought you close to his chest. 
His eyes upon you were a hazard to your well-being. “God, ____, you could really ruin me.”
Your flustered nature was interrupted by Chan rushing to his bedroom, kicking the door open with his feet and pressing quick kisses upon your mouth, your cheeks, all over your face as you giggled out in reaction, arms locked around him.
His room was the same as his attire, black on black on even more black, save for a few gold corners and grey instruments settled in the far end of the space. His bed, however, was vast and comfortable, a place you have slept in many a time when late night recording sessions turned into sleepovers.
Gently, he laid you down on his bed, feeling the cool sting of the night air on your cunt, making you shiver. Your bra was useless in keeping you warm, but when Chan began to take off his hoodie, shirt dragging out along with it, you suddenly began to feel a lot hotter.
Discarding the clothes, you were rewarded with the image of shirtless Chan, slightly disheveled due to his endeavours between your legs. His smile revealed a hint of arrogance as he acknowledged your blatant staring, slowly taking off his sweatpants. 
“Careful, baby, or you’ll cum right there,” he mused, noticing the way your legs shivered in ecstasy. He dumped his clothes along with the others, catching sight of his Calvins barely containing his erection.
You felt the mattress press down as he prowled to you upon the bed, the more chaos erupting in your gut the further he came closer. You could barely contain yourself when he hovered over you, lips mere inches from yours. A powerful force within you halted your very breath — you knew, though, that at this particular moment, your entire soul rested in the hands of this man, looking at you through long lashes. 
He enveloped your lips, grinding his clothed erection against your cunt, drinking in your whines, your silent pleas of replacing it with the real deal. He smirked against your mouth, opening the seams as his one hand grabbed onto yours, leading it to the waistband of your boxers. 
Your fingers fumbled to take peel down the fabric, Chan parting from your lips to take it off entirely. His cock sprang free, and you let out a god-awful, shrill-like noise at the way it stood, red and angry and so very fucking big. 
“Fuck me,” you slipped out in a breath, earning a chuckle from him. 
“I very much plan to,” he had the nerve to reply, you wanting very much to slap his shit-eating grin off of him. Or perhaps kiss it till your breath was lost. 
Embarrassed, you tried to look away, but his fingers gripped your chin, leading your eyes to his. Other hand holding onto your hip, he gently positioned himself between your legs, precum already staining your folds. Breathing stunted, your stare reflected subservience, a request to bury his dick inside you already.
He read your every plea. 
Pressing his forehead against yours, he let out a shuddered breath before beginning the final descent.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Chan slid his cock inside — your mouth parted from the transition, at the tightening sensation as he kept going, burying those inches until your eyes were as wide as saucers, unable to look away from him. You dared not move, fear of snapping more a reality in your head than some far-fetched delusion.
Dragging his stare from your slit to your face, he caressed your cheek, offering you a small smile.
“Don’t be quiet, okay?” he asked, hand on your hip like iron. 
Nodding, it was all the signal he needed.
Just as gradually, he began to slide out, and, with his words in mind, you let yourself be shameless. The rhythm of his hips, the pain-stakingly tempered movement, made you whine profusely, and when the man slithered inside once more, moaning lewdly was your only reaction. It was all your brain could think of, when his cock was the sole deity which mattered in this moment.
His pace began to fasten, though, grunting erratically as his grip on you tightened. Your cunt was taking a toll, your second orgasm of the night a great possibility as you felt it inside you, as tangible as the dick being pushed and pulled out into you. 
“F-faster!” you wailed out, and God bless Chan, for he obliged you completely, increasing his rhythm, practically abusing your slit with the way he fucked into you. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes, and you let them fall, for there was no hiding your emotions with this man.
Your best friend could see right through you anyway. 
Chan’s strength seemed unhuman as he thrusted his cock into you faster and faster, and you knew if he did not stop then you would cum all over for the second time. The very image had you on the edge of your sanity.
When his cock hit your g-spot you really believed yourself hitting seventh heaven of delight. White spots blurred your vision, tears now your beloved companion as they trailed down your cheeks. “I’m c-close, fuck—” you tried to voice, but were cut off when slid out once more, tip never leaving your folds. 
His hair stuck to his forehead, beads of sweat peppered on his face as he crushed you with his lips, relishing your whines. His tongue befriended yours, and the swirling of your muscles with each other had brought a new form of high bubbling within you. 
You moaned his name onto his lips, hands sliding around his neck, pulling you as close as physically possible. This was it. You could not wait any longer. You wanted your undoing, and you wanted it now, in these sheets, within his arms, within his hypnotic presence. 
It was incredibly fortunate that Bang Chan could read you like the back of his hand.  
Parting from your mouth, he kissed a sloppy trail all the way to your ear, lips grazing against the lobe. 
“Go on, then,” he purred, leaving a small kiss to your skin. “Cum for me.”
His words were all you needed before you let yourself go, crying out as release poured from the tight spaces your cunt offered, and onto the sheets below. You wheezed in a few breaths, tired gasps gripping your body.
Chan, within the second, pulled out, just in time for him to let out a pained growl as he came onto his bedsheets. Some of the fluids sullied your legs, but seemed the perfect time as he collapsed right beside you, breathing as heavily as you were. 
You and Chan were the only noise in the room — however, if one could translate emotions into sound, that would be an entirely different matter. 
At least for you. You could barely contain your elation.
An emptiness may be present inside of you, but it was now replaced with a full heart. Fuck, you could not believe you had finally been given pleasure, such unadulterated satisfaction that you wondered whether it truly occurred, or was just another fantasy — this time with Chan’s face plastered rather than your infatuation of the month.
Sensing the said-man move, you turned to your side, smiling to see his stare fixated on you. Shifting closer, he curled a stray lock from your face behind your ear. “How’re you feeling?” he asked gently, hand on your face still.
You laid your head against your arm. “I am so pissed I didn’t break up with Hyunjin sooner.”
Laughing, his fingers trailed downward, sketching onto your collarbone. “You…” he paused, biting his lip with what you saw, surprisingly, as apprehension. “You really liked it?” 
Your eyes darted to the surroundings, smirk spreading across your lips. “I mean, I am an insanely good actress...”
His shock horror had you spluttering into laughter. When he tried to turn his back to you and sulk, you held onto his arm, keeping him in place. “Oh, stop! You know I’m joking, you big oaf.”
Pouting, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “You better be,” he muttered, earning further giggles from his truly. The laughter was replaced with your yawning, which Chan instantly picked up on. “Hey, ____, you should sleep.” He began stroking your hair. “You’re really tired.”
You tried to object, but your intended groans become more deep yawns, proving his point. He passed his fingers over your eyelids, fluttering them close. “I’m not hearing anything else!”
Stinging out your tongue in what you hoped was at his direction, you grudgingly obliged. “Fine.”
You felt him sigh upon your face. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight, Hyuck.” 
“Nevermind, I hope you have a terrible sleep.”
With your last round of exhausted laughter, you let yourself fall into oblivion, safe in your best friend’s arms. 
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YOU WOKE UP WITH CHAN ALREADY GONE.
It was not such a huge disappointment. The man had warned you before that he had to leave early to meet up with his supervisor. In all honesty, maybe it was good he was not there, next to you in his sheets. 
Your hands gripped those very sheets, raising them right under your chin as you looked up to the ceiling, watching the dried swirls of black paint overlapping each other.
“Oh my God.”
Indeed. Here you were, in your best friend’s bed, basking in his scent, in his world. Of course, you always seemed to smell of him, considering you both never seemed to let go of each other, but last night was different.
Obviously, because Bang Chan had never rocked your shit before. 
Your legs began to tingle at the thought. Even the mere memory had you feeling a mysterious sensation all over your body, reminders of the places Chan had looked, touched, tasted. God, you did not think, did not let yourself think further or you’d be calling that man this second.
You knew you had to get up at some point — you had some recording to do today, and more assignments to hand in. You had tasks, obligations to take care of. Unfortunately, the warmth of your best friend’s bed was much too enticing for you to submit to the requests of reality, and so you let yourself lay there for moments longer, in hope you can recreate the scene in your head once more.
There was no lie about this. Bang Chan knew how to fuck you into another dimension. 
Just when you were about to dream into last night, your phone vibrated harshly against the bedside table. Curious, you stretched out your hand, grabbing the object and checking who so rudely disturbed your shameless manifesting.
CHRIS THE PISS: 
just stopped by the medical room,,, want me to get a wheelchair?
CHRIS THE PISS:
cause im sure asf u can’t walk rn 
You rolled your eyes until it hurt. Stupid prick.
YOU:
i haven’t gotten out of bed actually 
CHRIS THE PISS:
oh damn
CHRIS THE PISS:
i PARALYSED u??
CHRIS THE PISS:
why am i so powerful 
“This asshole,” you muttered. 
YOU:
STFUU COCKY MF
CHRIS THE PISS: 
It’s ok you’ll cute in a wheelchair
YOU:
?!?!?!?!!?!
CHRIS THE PISS:
but tell me 
CHRIS THE PISS:
how good was it
This had you pausing. 
CHRIS THE PISS:
outta ten
Now here was a rating you couldn’t bring yourself to confess.
All you wanted to do was give him a solid ten — the man finally offered you a better view of sex and how it can be appreciated, and the way he guided you through it was more than just adequate.
But the thing was, you and Chan hadn’t ever given each other 10/10s.
A perfect score was a rarity in your dynamic; possibly a rating never revealed before because you and Chan had promised each other never to exaggerate on this system. The only time you had ever used the solid ten was when he made you his first ever song at the tender age of nine. At the time, it was a terrible tune, with beats all over the damn place with no form of rhythm, but because he made it especially for you, you voiced your true opinion and rated him the perfect score.
Again, the situation here was different.
So, instead of the truth, you resorted to irritation. 
YOU:
2/10 :)
You waited for his text.
However, you did not receive it.
Only the shrill ringtone of your phone, snapping you further into consciousness. 
Groaning, you swiped right onto the screen, pressing the speaker button.
“Now I know you’re lying!”
Laughing, you propped the phone beside you on the bed, upon the place where Chan would have been. “You got a big ego there, hun.”
“That may be true, but my cock is bigger, so I still win.”
You were glad he was not here — the man would have sensed your embarrassment in an instant. 
It was worse because he was not lying. “Now tell me, Pinocchio,” he continued, voice interrupting as the noise of the students around him came through the receiver. “Out of ten.”
“I already messaged it to you, buddy,” you said impassively, or at least you tried. “A solid two would suffice.”
God, you could almost feel your nose growing.
Perhaps he felt it too, for he answered, with no small amount of pride, “I’m gonna pretend I fucked you so good you forgot how to think properly.”
You could not help gulping, raising the sheets over you. It wasn’t exactly hard on boning, but even so...you really thought for a second you’d lose all feeling in your legs last night.
“Shut up, Chan.”
“Shut up, Chan,” he parroted, which had you threatening to hang up. “Don’t think I’ve let you go on this subject.”
“Try me, buddy,” you jeered.
“And for Christ’s sake, stop calling me ‘buddy’,” he demanded. “Or else I’m pulling a Hyunjin.”
“A Hyunjin?”
“Yeah, a Hyunjin.” You heard the sound of horns blaring at the end of his call. “Ruining your sex life.”
That nearly made you freak. “Damn, I won’t say it again, Christopher Bang, musical name Bang Chan, nicknamed Chris the Piss—”
You heard his chuckling through the phone. “All that for my dick. I must have changed your life, ____.”
Heating up from his stupid comments, you grabbed the phone from the table. “I’ll see you in the studios, asshole.”
His smugness ran rich in his voice. “Buh-bye, baby.”
The minute the call ended, you sighed heavily, clutching the phone to your chest.
He did change your life.
Not necessarily your entire life, but certainly a huge aspect of it. A small part of you was horrified at how easily he shifted your daily balance, making you ponder over him more often, with much more intensity than before. Were you a sex maniac? Were you so deprived of being touched that one night of fun had you begging like a woman starved?
“Whatever,” you groaned, swinging your legs to the side of the bed, and upon the carpet. “Fuck Chan.”
Hopefully tonight.
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FUCKING AROUND WITH CHAN MIGHT HONESTLY BE THE BEST DECISION YOU HAVE EVER MADE IN A LONG, LONG TIME.
And you weren’t the one to make good decisions. You get up an hour before the afternoons, drink Pepsi Max to compensate for your lack of water drinkage, and worst of all, you would gladly sell your body for Colin Firth, especially if he dressed himself up as Mr. Darcy at his age. Whatever setbacks you possessed, you knew that this, at least, was a step in the right direction.
Bang Chan may have been as big a loser as you were, but the man made you feel like a powerful entity. Hell, in all the state, with the way he made you act.
Never before had you become so daring — libraries, which were once your place of study, became a rendezvous for his slender fingers inside your cunt. The living room had become a breeding ground, and even your shower was stained of your promiscuity. There was no place left where you and Chan hadn’t done something scandalous, and you wondered, with no small amount of excitement, on how this new side of your friendship with him would progress. 
These thoughts accompanied you as you walked to your destination. It was not far off as you entered campus, and smiled at the few students who passed by.
Soon, you found yourself in the music department, and walked through the familiar halls, littered with posters of different artists and singers in their peak careers. A few trophies were boasted of behind a glass screen, but the surroundings all became irrelevant when you approached your designated music rooms.
Expecting Chan to be inside, headphones adorned, you did not bother knocking, strolling straight into the room. However, you stopped completely when a giant, hoodie-clothed back did not greet you.
Instead, it was a tinier hoodie-clothed back, faded yellow over the trademark black. Although not your best friend, you instantly recognised the alternative, and smiled.
“Jisung!”
The boy did not seem to hear, for he kept bobbing his head, no doubt trying out beats. 
You tiptoed slpwly until you stood right behind him. Then, in a flash, you snapped your hands upon his shoulders.
“Boo!”
A shrill, terrified yell erupted, chair being swivelled suddenly as the back hit against the controls. You took a step back out of shock too, a choked giggle escaping when you beheld the face of Han Probably-shit-his-pants-Jisung. 
“Oh my fucking God,” he rasped out, hand on his chest. He then locked eyes with you, and suddenly his quivering mouth melted into a smile of relief. “Ah, ____!”
“The one and only.” You sat down on the neighbouring chair. “Sorry if I made you shit your pants. It was fully attended.”
“Stop,” he insisted, taking off his headphones and scooting a little closer to you. “These are new jeans as well.”
“Not my fault if you’re a pussy,” you chanted, picking up the headphones, settling them upon your ears. “Can I listen?”
“Of course!” Jisung pressed a few keys on his laptop, and the music began. 
Your eyes widened in surprise to hear pleasant, almost lo-fi background before his voice flooded in, comforting you with his soft lilt and meaningful lyrics. On instinct your head bobbed along to the rhythm of the beat, smiling at the wordplay and the rising vocals.
“Jisung, this is really good!” you exclaimed. The boy waved off the compliment, but you instantly saw his face reddening. “Oh, stop it, you know that you’re one of the best out here.”
If you thought he couldn’t get more flustered, he proved you incredibly wrong. “Don’t say that,” he shrilled, propping his feet up on the chair and hugging his legs tightly. When he saw the look on your face, though, he smiled, teeth and all. “Thank you, ____. It means a lot coming from you.”
“Oh, I’m no musical genius,” you said, pressing the play button to hear his music. “Just a motherfucker who can appreciate a song of the year when she hears one.”
Jisung nearly passed out from your compliment, but you did not take it much into account as you focused all your attention on the piece. It was an undoubted fact that Han Jisung was an extremely talented dude. You already knew you could never compete with him, but he was certainly up to Chan’s level of musical expertise. With all this talent brimming around you, you made a mental note never to make more gifted friends in the future. 
Once the song ended, you took off the headphones, propping them gently upon the table. “I think you’ve inspired me to do some actual work.” 
The boy was still smiling as he reached his hand out, planting it upon your own on the table. “Well, I’m honoured to be your inspiration.” His eyes reached yours, and you were engulfed with his warmth. “The feeling is more than mutual.”
You offered him a grin, and were about to say something when the door opened.
Turning, you were welcomed by Chan’s dark figure at the studio entrance, holding two cups of coffee. Despite his black attire, you found yourself admiring a little too brazenly the bare face he never exposed in public, the beanie hiding his curls, and the tick in his jaw, which heightened further when he took in the scene.
The actions were quick — the darting of his eyes as they started on you, then travelled to your hand, engulfed with another’s. He raised them to the man guilty of the touch, and found himself staring at Jisung, beaming not only from you anymore, but at the arrival of his friend.
The joy was not returned. 
“Chan!” Jisung greeted, letting go of your hand innocently as he ushered your best friend over. 
He nodded in return, gaze back to you as he walked, a little too slowly, to the two of you. He put the two beverages upon the table next to the keyboards. “I didn’t know you were in as well,” he said. After a pause, he added, “I would have gotten another coffee.”
“Nah, it’s okay,” he assured him, even though it did not look like he needed any reassurances. 
Catching onto Chan’s attitude, you slid your coffee to the boy beside you. “I don’t want any right now. You take it.”
You took note of the pursed lips, and ignored it as Jisung widened his eyes. “No, no, it’s okay—”
“Ji, I insist,” you pestered him, driving the cup within his grasp. “You look so tired.”
He offered you a lovely smile before taking the beverage. “Thank you.”
Chan, watching this little conversation, had him clamping his lips together, possibly to not say something stupid. It was a little habit of his, thankfully in action. He slid the other cup to you. “You can have mine.”
You looked up at him. “I’m good, buddy.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Share.”
You rolled your own, taking a sip of the coffee, and thanked yourself for not being petty enough to refuse him. “Fine.” 
Jisung swivelled his chair so he faced Chan, fingers upon his laptop. “Do you wanna listen to the demo?” He grabbed the headphones, holding it out to him. “I’m nearly done with it.”
“You can send it to me later,” was his curt answer, as he took the cup from you and drank. 
You looked at him in exasperation, but the boy nodded in satisfaction, picking his bag off the floor. “That’s chill!” he said, heaving off the chair. “I got all the time, so don’t worry too much about it.”
He then turned to the two of you as he strolled to the door. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you both something.”
“Spit it out, then,” Chan jeered, which had you glaring at him. What the fuck was his problem?
Jisung did not catch on, continuing. “So, later this week, Changbin and I are throwing a party, and I was hoping you both would like to come.”
You perked up at that piece of information. “That’s something I like to hear!” Snatching the coffee cup from your friend, you purposefully took a huge gulp. “Any specific date?”
“I was hoping Friday night.” A small sip of his drink. “We just wanted to have some fun after a difficult week, dissertations and all.” His gaze never faltered from yours. “You in?”
Chan, noticing, settled in the space previously taken, and raised a hand in objection. “Sorry, Ji. ____ and I always do something Friday night. Gotta uphold the tradition.” 
You turned to face him, a brow raised. He wasn’t wrong, in all honesty. But why did he mention it now?
Jisung, too, was a little curious. “Oh?” He fixed the strap of his bag. “I won’t get in the way, then.”
He turned, and you made to open your mouth only to have Chan press a finger to your lips. His brows were furrowed, which you matched until he left the finger as the boy looked back once more. 
“I’ll see you around, guys!” he exclaimed, eyes sliding to you before opening the door, and leaving the studio.
After a few seconds of silence, you faced your friend, who had the audacity to sigh in relief. “What the fuck was that?”
The man shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes you do!” you finished the last of the coffee, throwing the empty cup in the bin nearby. “Why were you being such a dick to Jisung?”
“No I wasn’t,” he only said. “I was being the perfect gentleman.”
“Stop it, man!” You couldn’t believe his stupidity in the situation. “He was being so lovely, asking for your opinion on his music, inviting us to his party and shit. Why were you being so mean?” 
Chan only shook his head, turning away from you as he made to put his headphones on. You, on the other hand, were not going to be satisfied with silence, and grabbed his arm, wrenching him toward you. “Chan?!”
He turned to look at you, and you hitched in a breath — you had never really pondered over your friend’s angered face, nor really drank in his heightened features before. However, in this moment in time, with his eyes darkened, bare face twisted, frizzy morning curls all over the place, you had to stop yourself from the butterflies fluttering downwards. You’re supposed to be mad, not horny.
Your hand upon his arm — his tensed bicep, specifically — seemed almost feeble now. Still, you were glad it was on there, if only to feel his muscle bulge.
Chan studied you and your dazing, and made you jump when he guttered. “What?”
Instantly getting back to the situation, you cursed yourself silently for letting your desires try to take the reins. “I said,” you continued, trying your hardest not to be fazed by his eyes, “Why are you being such a massive prick to Ji?”
He cocked his head slightly, and if he leaned any further his lips would brush against yours. “I’m being a massive prick, ____, because he really fucking likes you.”
You felt hands upon your waist, tugging you off your seat. With a yelp you found yourself upon the man’s lap, hands encircling you fully.
Even though you looked down at him, his stare had you shaking. “And that really fucking pisses me off.”
You couldn’t suppress a shudder, an action which had not gone unnoticed. A smile ghosting his face, he craned his neck upwards, catching your lips and rendering you completely at his mercy. Your fingers went straight in his morning curls, carding through the locks as he captured your bottom lip in his, sucking on it to the point a whine escaped you, helpless and shameful. 
He left a trail of heated kisses down your throat, fingers skirting underneath your cardigan, your shirt, and savouring the skin. His mouth landed on a particular part, grazing his teeth against it as he softly nipped at the skin. Your breath quivered at each flushed kiss he branded upon you, but when his free hand began undoing the top buttons of your shirt, you finally called out his name.
“Chan!” you gasped out, shivering at the lovebites stinging your throat. It did not seem like the man would stop, unbuttoning your shirt just so he could glimpse the sliver of your lacy bra, humming with satisfaction. “Chan, w-wait!”
He paused his actions, tilting his head upwards in irritation. “Do you mind?” he asked, pouting too cutely for his words.
“Yes, I do,” you answered, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why are you so mad, buddy?”
A harsh scoff was your reply. “Well, first of all, because you never stop calling me that.” 
You pinched the back of his neck, but when he pursed his lips, you leaned in, pressing your forehead against his. “Chan, you’re overreacting. He’s just a motherfucker trying to gain your approval.”
“I think it’s more your approval,” he countered, nuzzling his head against your shoulder. “With the way the asshole can’t keep his name out of your mouth. God! And the way he held your hand? Like you were his one and only?!”
“Jealousy isn’t a cute look on you, hun,” you mused, but in reality, you were lying through your teeth. His jealousy was like fuel to your turned on fire.
“Permission to punch him in the face?” 
“You might have to put a hold to that.” 
“Fuck.”
Raising his head, his agitation grew in his eyes as you beheld him. “He just...goddammit, he just makes me so angry at times.”
You played with his curls. “How angry?”
He held onto you tighter. “9/10.”
That certainly made you do a double take. 
9/10. A rare rating, you noticed with quite some surprise. It did reflect the fury which Jisung unintentionally ignited, but you did not realise how much it truly affected him. The two had always been friends, as far as you were concerned, but you had to admit that Chan never really felt as easy with him as he did with you.
Of course, because you were his closest friend.
“I know,” he said then, snapping you out of your thoughts. “It’s...unreasonable...but I don’t care. I really don’t give a shit.”
Clamping your lips together, you watched him look away, swaying you back and forth upon his lap. Well, you couldn’t have a dear friend sulking away when you knew Jisung meant nothing and less to you.
Suddenly, a very pleasing idea came to mind. 
“Chan,” you murmured, fingernails grazing against his neck.
 Sensing goosebumps form there, you were met with his undecipherable gaze. “Yeah?”
You brushed a chaste kiss to his forehead. “How about,” you began, trailing down to his nose, “I help…” you carried on, another kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Soothe your irritation?”
Although completely compliant to your touches, he grumbled, “The only way you can do that if you consent to me giving Jisung a broken nose.”
“Hmmm…well...” you peppered another kiss, and felt his hands wander lazily once again. “This is a very close second.”
Catching the implications dwelling in your gaze, you could have sworn the man’s breathing halted. His tongue swept along his teeth, and you had a dire wish to replicate that action with your own tongue.
“Come here, then,” he guttered.
The lower octave had you nearly squealing as you pressed your lips fully onto his, giggling when he responded with twice more ardency, the desperation lurking beneath his physique. He pried your mouth open with his tongue, swirling it along with yours as he pressed your body completely against his, refusing to let you go. 
On instinct you grinded against him, sensing the outline of his boner beneath you with no small amount of excitement. He groaned into your mouth at the friction, digging his fingers into your skin.
It was a dire shame you had to break away from the kiss, catching his disappointment. “Tease,” you heard him mumble, which had you pecking his lips quickly before sliding your own down his neck, leaving his skin altogether.
Slumping downward, you kneeled before Chan as he spread his legs before you, struggling down his black trousers till he revealed the angry outline of his erection underneath his dark boxers. You noticed, with pride, how the top of the fabric was stained with arousal. 
“I think your dick is angrier than you around Jisung right now,” you said, failing to contain your amusement. 
Chan’s eyes promised murder. “I’m so glad my cock will shut your stupid mouth up,” he jeered. 
Thank God you were kneeling, cause that comment alone would have made you fall.
Shuffling closer, you raised your hand to his boxers, feeling his clothed length between your fingers. The touch had your friend growling much too loud, a reaction you enjoyed thoroughly. 
“How about a little less teasing,” he seethed, gripping onto the arms of his chair, “And a little more sucking, baby?” 
Baby. You didn’t know why now, of all times, it struck a deep chord within you. His command had you reaching for the waistband, pulling his boxers down until his cock sprang free. 
The image had you remembering your Lord and Saviour. 
You don’t know why you kept forgetting how insanely big Chan’s cock really was. Its length was inside of you on almost a daily basis, so maybe all this foolery had finally gotten to your head. Observing it now, hard and veiny as it curved against his stomach, the only reaction you could offer was your mouth breaking its seams. 
“Staring at it won’t be enough, ____.”
Gulping, you planted one hand upon his leg, the other wrapping around the shaft. Even the slightest contact had the man hissing, making you smirk at his helplessness. Slightly gurgling, you spat on the head, lubing his member with your fingers, and then you began.
A string of groans escaped him as you commenced, a slow rhythm of pumping his cock as your hand moved up and down. The repetition was constant, neverending as Chan’s grip on his chair threatened to snap the plastic, but you dared not slow down. You knew this was not how he gained his satisfaction — he needed a perfect graduality, a refined art-like stroke or else he’d lose his high. Fortunate for him, though, you never let him down.
You increased your pumping, sensing him containing his moans. You could feel him holding back, but that didn’t stop you at all. In fact, that only had you progressing to the next step, an action that would have him screaming your name.
Shifting even closer, you spread his legs further, Chan’s eyes rooted to you as you directed the tip to your mouth. Letting your tongue free, you swept it along the shaft, and sure enough, an obscenely loud moan emitted from his truly. Chuckling, you carried on, trailing all the way up to the head and ending your journey with an ironically chaste kiss. Staring up at him, you smugly observed his lust-struck face, mouth releasing irregular breaths already. You couldn’t wait to have him curse at you.
Eyes back on the task at hand, you grabbed the base of his cock, opening your mouth. Slowly, aggravatingly slow, you sunk down, taking in inch by inch — Chan pushed his hips forward, and you nearly gagged at the impact of his head hitting the back of your throat. 
“Shi-shit baby,” he sputtered, watching you in awe at your work. “You better tell me if you don’t want your throat fucked.”
You answered him with your progression, slowly releasing his cock from your lips, tongue licking his slit before descending back on him again. You tried to be slow — you didn’t want to go straight to deepthroating, but the way Chan choked out his curses was sweet encouragement. Holding his dick still, you began bobbing your head and down, shallow at first, testing the waters.
When the man instinctively began bucking his hips, pushing his cock into your mouth further, you opened your jaw wider, taking in the remaining inches. The gag reflex kicked in like a bitch, but you refused to cease your labour as you increased your pace. Chan leaned in a little, caressing your cheeks as he rutted against your mouth.
“God, you’re fucking perfect, baby,” he cooed breathlessly. “So good for taking my cock like that.”
Unable to smile, you answered him with your hands, now playing with his balls, slapping them slightly to make him groan out in pleasure, head laid back against the chair. “I’m close, ____,” he warned, never stopping his own thrusts. You hoped he never would, when his end was so near.
Taking all of him in, you pressed your hands on his legs, urging you to look at him. With one final home run, you hollowed in your cheeks, surrounding his entire cock in your mouth as you imprisoned him with your hooded gaze.
The image of you, a beautiful ruination, was his undoing. 
Chan let out a vicious string of curses as he released, ropes of cum spilling inside your mouth. He slumped into the chair, breathing in the entire county’s worth of oxygen as all energy left him. This time, to add to his lust-driven shock, you swallowed his release, thanking your lucky stars that your friend finally listened and ate some fruit. His cum, at last, tasted more than bearable. 
After a few silent moments, the man finally raised himself from the dead, sighing as he beheld you kneeling still. “I think I can’t live without you.”
Chuckling, you heaved yourself up, legs unsteady. “That’s just your inner horny speaking,” you said, nearly falling over on your own feet. Quickly, Chan brought you back onto his lap again, creating an iron grip around you.
“Think what you like,” he began, peppering small kisses on your neck. “But your head game is stronger than my will to punch Jisung, that’s for sure.”
You hummed as he plunged his teeth upon a certain spot, pressing your legs together. “It better be.”
Finding your lips, he lazily kissed you, hands skirting higher as you move your mouth against his, never tired from his touches. 
“Have we christened the studio yet?” The man asked in between kisses, pushing his chair forward till your back hit the table. 
You shook your head no, already sensing his unbearable grin. You could not help returning his enthusiasm.
And as you both continued in your shameless arrangements, there was one thought that lingered in your head. 
There was absolutely no way you were going to that party. 
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OF COURSE YOU WERE GOING TO THAT PARTY.
You looked to the building, the whole ground floor alight with different, ever-changing lights, and a dim pandemonium welcoming your ears. Your phone pinged with messages, but you dutifully ignored them, taking a deep breath as you took a step inside.
Greeted with a half-full hallway, it was not hard to find the party house, greeting awkwardly to a few drunk acquaintances before entering Jisung’s dorm. You were instantly hit by the smell of sweat and alcohol as the noise of popular music made your ears ring in discomfort. An abundance of students were cramped as they danced along to the tunes, screaming and laughing and simply enjoying themselves. 
While observing the scene, a small part of you wished your best friend was with you, an arm slung around you as he makes a comment on the specific people dancing rather terribly in the centre. You could already imagine him in his Friday attire, midnight-kissed with gold chains dangling off his belt, rings adorning his fingers and a little makeup to elevate his already exquisite features. Maybe, if you had insisted, he would have let you paint his nails, something which you adored on him. 
Fuck, you thought, searching through the crowd for a place to get a drink. Maybe you shouldn’t have come. 
You shook your head, though, beginning to squeeze through the partygoers. No. You can’t let Chan win in this.
And so you found your way to the kitchen, cans of beer, vodka and tequila stacked in broken pyramids to drink away. Just as you made to grab the Smirnoff your hand brushed against another’s. You turned to the direction, and beamed to see Jisung holding out the can for you.
“____!” he exclaimed, barely heard from the commotion yet could feel his joy radiating from him. “Don’t you have a thing with Chan on Fridays?”
“Well, that can happen every Friday, Ji, but your party was only today,” you answered him, and he was more than satisfied. 
He grabbed the same drink as yours, cracking it open as he looked at you, stare lingering upon your black dress. “I’m really glad you came, love.”
You blinked at the sudden endearment, but before you could say anything Changbin had interrupted the both of you, threatening to bring the roof down with his whining.
“Pleeease Ji, get me away from her!” he begged, holding onto Jisung’s arm and rocking it back and forth. “She keeps tryna drag me into the bedrooms and I can’t do it with her, bro!”
The boy adorned hints of irritancy, but he let himself be led by his friend, glazing at you. “Wait for me,” he requested.
His answer was a little wave, which he returned dutifully as he began to berate his friend for tearing him away from you. Raising your eyebrow, you turned back to the alcohol, finding some soda water and pouring it into the empty cups along with the Smirnoff. You would have drank the vodka straight from the bottle but you decided against drinking your tits off tonight. You didn’t really have a great desire for intoxication. 
You cursed at a few passersby as they bumped against you, nearly knocking the drink off your hands. Fixing your dress, you took the first sip, relishing the strong taste. The songs kept changing, the dancing getting wilder, and at this rate you knew someone was going to get handsy soon. 
Drinking away, you snapped the cup on the table beside you, waiting for Jisung to come back. 
Why did you even come here? 
You instantly soured at the thought.
Still, you could not help pondering further.
You should have stayed home. With him.
You groaned out loud.
It was ridiculous how you were unable to have any idea which didn’t centre around that prick. If he did not want to join you that was on him. 
Then were you feeling miserable?
Great. You poured yourself some more diluted vodka. Now you’re a full-time simp.
That helped you down the drink some more. At least this time, in fortunate circumstances, you were not a lightweight, and so were still completely aware of your surroundings. 
Aware enough to see a more tousled Jisung stagger toward you, giggling like a little child. 
You watched him lunge towards the tequila cans and crack one open, downing half the thing in one go. “Careful, Ji, or you’ll fall to your death!” you warned him, laughing as he exhaled with great exaggeration. 
He staggered to where you were standing, slumping against the wall and taking another can. “I’m so sorry!” he simpered, much too loudly for your sober ears. 
You raised a brow, about to ask him for what but he was already answering your question. “I made you wait so looong!” he dragged, drinking some more. “Look at you! Leaving you all alone.”
“Gee, thanks,” you said dryly, crossing your arms, drink still in hand. “Just say I have zero friends.” 
“Hey, don’t say that!” You were taken aback by Jisung grabbing onto your arm, pulling him to you. He looked you dead in the eyes, wide and alive. “You do not have zero friends!” he declared, louder than before. “I’m your friend.”
Your poor ears hurt like a bitch, but you smiled at his words. “Yes, indeed you are,” you said in earnest. “Thank you, Jisung.”
It was then he blinked slowly, parting his lips as his fingers upon your arm began to wander. “But I wish you didn’t think like that.”
His touch did not go unnoticed at all. You looked at him, raising a brow, but that action went unnoticed. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, you’re a smart girl,” he slurred, voice still soft and innocent as his hand travelled to your shoulder. “You know exactly what I mean.” 
Freezing up, you felt the pads of his fingers caress your face. When he tilted his head, you finally saw what he had been trying to show you since the start of the year, the emotions he was too drunk to hide any longer. 
Lust. Pure lust swirling in his eyes. 
It was like a lightbulb had finally switched on in your grape-sized brain.
“Oh my God!”
Instantly, you pressed your hands to Jisung’s chest, pushing him completely off. He nearly fell flat on his ass, but grabbed the table just in time to stagger back to balance. He glanced upwards, and you saw his eyes widen.
“____?” he got out, but you raised a finger, which he was still intelligent enough to figure out to shut up.
“Ji, what the fuck?” You slapped your drink down on the table, making him jump. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, taking another can. “But it’s the truth, damn it, and I’m tired of having to pretend all the time about it!”
Fuck, you suddenly thought, realising that you needed to get out of this crammed residence. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Jisung, look—” you started, but he groaned out loud, waving off your answer.
“No, no, I know what you’re gonna say.” He then did a terrible impression of you, simpering, “Oh, Ji, I can’t go out with you because I’m soooo in love with my best friend in the whole wide world!”
You snapped your head to his direction. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me clearly!” He finished off his nth can. “Okay, maybe it isn’t a Romeo and Juliet shit going on, but I know something is going on between you two!”
A laugh huffed out of you, but the boy was not convinced. “We’re just friends. Good friends, that’s all.”
Your answer was a hysterical bout of laughter, confusing you even further. “Come on, ____. I’m stupid, but not completely braindead.”
He took a step closer to you, careful of your hands still. “I know Chan practically adores you.”
This little statement made your shit freeze. “Stop it,” you murmured.
“Why?” he demanded. “Because I’m saying something the both of you refuse to listen to?” 
“It’s none of your business,” you snapped. “Don’t get mad because I don’t wanna go out with you.”
“I’m not mad because of that.” With one last tequila can, he grabbed it, turning on his heel. “I’m mad because the both of you keep lying to yourselves.” 
Before you could counter back, the boy stumbled away from you, hollering to the crowd to leave some space on the dance floor for him. You wondered for a second how he’d handle dancing when he could barely walk properly, but then your thoughts drifted back to the more dire subject at hand.
“Fuck,” you cursed out loud this time. 
There it was. The question you should have addressed ever since you started this arrangement with Chan.
Were you really just friends? 
You knew the question to that yourself. Both you and him had transcended past that point now, and in a horrifying realisation, you didn’t mind it that much. After experiencing his touch, his whispers, you doubt that you could ever see him as a friend again. 
But...to be more?
Fuck indeed. You had a lot to think about tonight.
“But first,” you muttered, “To be out of this stupid party.” 
Quickly, after taking two Smirnoff cans, you squeezed past the million drunkards, making your way to the exit. When you were out of the residence, you breathed in the cool night air, a rarity in these sweaty dorm rooms. 
You had a small hope, as you walked down the lanes, that Chan would be there, right at the entrance as you left, but he was not there. He had a little habit of going wherever you were supposed to be if you were not home at the expected time, worried sick if you had drank or done something more stupid than usual. 
But he was not here today. Maybe going to Jisung’s party made him extremely pissed.
There was a reason he rated it 9/10.
Soon, you were at your building, entering inside and finding your door at the very end of the hallway. Fishing out the keys, you slid them into the lock, careful of the cans, hearing the click! of the unlocking.
Your hand rested upon the doorknob. Eyes staring at the lifeless colour of the door, you closed your eyes, letting out a deep breath.
Stop worrying. Chan is your best friend.
You turned the knob.
Your best friend.
Pushed the door open. Stepped inside.
Right?
“Back so soon?” 
Your body shivered at the words. Quickly walking inside the living room, you found the back of the sofa greeting you as per usual, with Chan’s head peering on top as he watched the TV. Walking further, you noticed yours and his favourite show playing on the screen.
“Yeah, it was quite boring, but the real question is,” you began, irritation marring your features, “Why are you watching this without me?” 
He didn’t even glance back at you, nor pause the TV. “Oh, I don’t know, ____, maybe because it’s Friday night, and it’s our thing to do this every time? Do tell me if I’m wrong!”
“Shut up, Chan,” you seethed, dumping the Smirnoff on the coffee tables in front of him. “This is the one time I missed this, so stop being such a baby.”
“Oh, so you tell me to shut up,” he jeered, snapping the remote on the table, making you jump slightly. “Fine, I’ll shut up. You won’t hear a word from me again.”
You took a glimpse of his face, and caught this cold fury simmering beneath his skin. Oh no. Had you going to Jisung’s party made him this angry? It was beyond nonsensical now. Bang Chan was the most reasonable man you ever befriended.
Taking in the emotions inhabiting on his face, however, proved otherwise.
I know Chan practically adores you.
The memory brought chills all over you again. 
Making your way into the kitchen, you figured to make yourself a midnight snack, hearing the crack! of a can opening behind you. Asshole, you refused to voice out loud, but opened the fridge, taking out leftovers and heating it up in the microwave.
“Anything interesting happened, then?” you heard the dry question travel to you. 
Scoffing, you turned, taking out your food. “Oh, I thought I wasn’t hearing a word from you again.”
Your best friend’s smile was anything but sweet. “Well, I figured if you weren’t going to tell me things, I had to ask you myself.”
That snatched any faux amusement you might have harboured. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“You know what the fuck that means!” he snapped, getting up from the couch, pausing the screen. “I can’t believe you’re not telling me.”
“How about a little less attitude and a little more truth, you prick,” you rebuked, putting the cartons on the kitchen counter. 
“Fine, I’ll tell you the truth that you’re too much of a pussy to say yourself!” He thundered into the kitchen, Smirnoff still in hand. 
You backed up against the counter when he caged you with his glare. “Since when did you start going out with Jisung?”
Instantly your brows furrowed. “Who the fuck told you that?” 
“Shit, I knew that bastard wanted to get in your pants,” he roared. “And you let him use you!”
“Woah, woah, buddy, slow down there!” You raised your hands in objection. “I’m not dating Jisung!”
“What?” He took a gulp of the vodka, confusion mixing with his fury. “You’re not?”
“Of course not, the fuck?! Who told you this?”
“He—” but then the cogs turned in Chan’s head, and suddenly it made sense to him. “Oh, for Christ’s sake!”
“What happened?” you asked, but he was drinking some more, cursing himself for even believing such nonsense. “Chan?”
“That son of a bitch called me before you came,” he started, swirling his drink in the can. “And I don’t know why he did, but he kept telling me to back off from you.”
You let out a low curse, but your friend was not finished. “I told him to get some sleep, cause clearly he wasn’t right in the head, but then...he said some words which literally shut me up.”
Then, you saw him hitch in an uncertain breath. “____, he bragged that he asked you out and...and you said yes.” 
His reaction had you widening your eyes, mouth parting just a little. “And, damn it, I thought that this is why she’s so nice to this little fucker, giving him my coffee, or missing Friday night for his stupid party. Hell, even suggesting him first to be her friends-with-benefits.
“Because maybe she liked Jisung all along.”
You watched in horror as he finished his drink, crumbling the can and throwing it in the bin beside you. A shuddered breath escaped you at the explanation, but you sucked it in once more when you blinked back the sheer intensity of this man’s stare. 
“So...yeah.” He ruffled his hair, breaking the stare as he looked away, face flushing with colour. “That’s why I just...yeah.”
A small part of you melted at his words, and his now embarrassment after expressing his desperate worry for you and your potential relationship.
Still, you had some problems that needed solving. “Chan, then why were you so angry at me?!”
You crossed your arms. “You didn’t even wait to hear what I had to say on the matter.”
“I don’t know, okay?!” he exclaimed, propping his hands to his sides. “I heard Jisung saying all that bullshit, and at the time I was so pissed that…”
“I can’t believe you’d think I’d go out with him, you dumbass!”
“Well, I don’t know, he’s just such a nice guy like you keep saying, and all that flowery poetry for him just went straight into my head!” 
The situation almost seemed comical now. “Oh my God, did you really think I liked him?!
“Of course” he cried out, slapping his hands on the counter top next to you, unable to let you escape. As if you even wanted to. “Of course I thought that or else I wouldn’t be shitting my pants all night!”
“Then you’re the dumbest fucking prick I’ve ever met!” you screamed, as you grabbed hold of his hoodie, pulling him closer to you. “Because I don’t like him!
“I like you!”
“Well, I like you too, you stupid bitch!” 
The confession had you both stopping, preventing the two of you going deaf from your shouting. The whole fight was completely ridiculous, but when you looked at each other, drinking in the words that just left your lips, the realisation finally dawned on you. 
I like you too.
Well, shit. There it was.
The one thing you’d been hiding ever since you decided to fool around with him. 
Maybe this was the last way you wanted to tell him, shouting out your declaration to prove his suspicions wrong. It was almost like something out of an unfunny American sitcom — this weird, comic deflation, but at least it was out in the open now.
You had finally told him of your feelings. 
A pinch of that anger brewing within his features settled a little, hands still fisted on your sides. His eyes darted on every point of your face, as if he’s trying to memorise every inch, every detail etched upon your skin. 
Although his blatant awe made you flustered, the aching inside spoke for you. “Are you going to keep staring all night or just kiss me already?” 
God, you were such a bitch.
Chan seemed to think so too. “Nevermind, I fucking hate you,” he snarled, capturing your lips with his in an instant. You smiled against his mouth as you kissed him back with the same intensity, the same need which spread like wildfire in your body.
Kissing him should have become a routine with the amount of times you did it, but every locking of your lips with his sent you in a frenzy, lust-driven emotions spiralling out of control. You welcomed his tongue inside your mouth, the strong taste of tequila and desperation enlivening your inner workings, heightening your need for him, him, and only him.
His hands had no restrictions — the pads of his fingers had their very own needs, their own desire to feel every crevice of your body, your every curve and corner till you have no secret stored in your figure which they did not know of. You welcomed their ravaging, embraced their interrogation as they tried to uncover everything you held dear. 
Once these hands found a weakness in the form of your dress altogether, they cleverly found an opening, reaching for the end of your dress lined at your thighs. His fingers hitched the hem upwards, skirting it higher until it bunched at your waist, revealing a red, silken thong, embroidered with black thread. You relished in Chan practically salivating all over the image, but his lust slapped him out of his dazing, and hurried to get it off, hands slipping it down your legs until it was discarded on the kitchen floor. 
In an instant the man thrust two fingers inside of you, stretching your walls and creating a hypnotic rhythm of removing and inserting them back again. Your moans could bring down the whole residence, but none of you cared when Chan was scissoring you with his digits on the kitchen counter, desire radiating off his stature, and a determination to completely ruin you stark on his face. 
“M-more!” You begged, knowing you could take it, and you were rewarded with a third finger, filling you up as you cried out in pleasure. His mouth quietened you, sucking on your lower lip and then taking all of you, had you delirious, but this insanity only progressed as the thrust of his fingers hit lighting speed. 
The three digits had quickened your potential release, right on the tip of your cunt if he did not stop. “I’m g-gonna—fuck—!” 
You were interrupted as Chan’s lips left yours, trailing down to your neck, collarbone, brushing his teeth between your chest as he fell to his knees. Pulling you forward, on the edge of the countertop, he spread your legs apart, cock twitching at the drenched cunt which awaited him, like a feast displayed for a starved, wild animal. 
Looking up at you, he growled, “Cum when I say so, understand?”
Your hurried nods was all he needed as he dove right in, tongue sliding up your slit, lapping up your arousal as if it was an eternal cure. He fastened his stroke as he welcomed in his sight your clit, swiping his tongue along the bud. 
You moaned out his name like a cry for help, and he answered at first ring when his fingers still laboured, faster and faster, along with his heavenly tongue licking your clit like ice cream on a summer's day. 
“Chan, please—!” You choked out, one hand carding through the man’s hair, driving his face deeper into your cunt. “Please, I need to cum!”
Completely ignoring you, he carried on his ravishing, making you shake your legs to a point your body was beyond your control — you were at his mercy when his head was between your legs, when he prodded at your core as if it was no one else’s but his. 
When Chan brushed against your g-spot, it took every muscle in your body not to cum on his face then and there. He was being cruel; this was punishment for going to that party, justice for choosing Jisung’s company over his.
You did not know punishment felt so pain-stakingly amazing. 
Calling out his name for the last time, you knew that if the man carried on, you would go against his wishes and free yourself of the burden pushing down on your gut. Gripping onto his hair hard enough to rip right off, Chan spared a single glance at you from above, licking his lips off your mess.
“Cum for me, baby.”
That was the first time you came that night. Shaking as you freed your juices unto him, he gladly accepting the release. It was like you possessed a vessel of your release, the way you kept it inside for so long. He could never refuse though, when he knew he was responsible for driving you down that road of vulnerability. 
However, even with all of that, you still wanted more. 
And as Chan ascended on his feet, yanking his fingers out of you, he saw it in your eyes. The uncontainable passion. The unadulterated desire. 
All for him. All. For him.
Your best friend’s smile was positively wicked.
“I will completely ruin you, ____.”
He was upon you like a beast, no mercy upon your lips as he bruised them with his teeth, your pleas drowned out by his mouth as he lifted you in his arms. His kisses never ceased as he led you in his bedroom, nearly ripping the hinges at the sheer intensity of slamming his door shut. 
Throwing you on the bed, your breath whooshed out of you at the free fall, heart running miles as you witnessed Chan take his shirt off, his entire chest glistening with sweat, no doubt from the work he put in mere minutes ago. 
Upon you in seconds, his mouth robbed you of any more oxygen, prying it open as he attempted to unzip your dress from the back. Then, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your throat, he tried to loosen the zipping, but the damned thing got stuck in it’s trail, unable to satisfy. 
Letting out an angry growl, he damned the dress when, using his hands at the front, he ripped the fabric in half, completely down to the hem. 
“My dress!” You gasped out, watching him discard the torn fabric as if it were a minor inconvenience in his path.
You were cut off by his mouth, scorching you down to the bone. “I’ll buy you ten more, baby,” he muttered, skimming his hands down your bare sides.
You had the audacity to roll your eyes at his words. “Why do you keep forgetting you’re a college student?”
It seemed Chan did not take kindly to your comment. “Shut your fucking mouth,” he snapped, resulting in you leaking right onto his sheets. 
That kept you wilfully obedient, and rightfully so, when he unclipped your bra, tossing it to the side, and settled upon your breasts. Grinding his clothed cock upon your bare slit, he licked your right nipple, making you whimper out at him. His reply was swirling his finger on your left nipple, toying with your body as if it was his plaything. You would have had a right mind to shout at him if he didn’t bring such euphoria along with it. 
“Chan,” you whispered, gripping onto the sheets as he continued sucking your breasts. “Chan, I...I need you to fuck me already.”
He paused his assault on your bud, raising a groomed brow. “What do you say to that?” He asked, too calmly in a crazy situation like this. 
Of course, he wanted to make you beg. Considering you did not care the least for your self respect, or lack thereof, you completely obliged him, rutting your bare cunt upon his trousers. 
“Please, Chan. Please.”
Hearing the little pleases had him kissing you insane as he urged you to take his pants off. You willingly obeyed, tossing the clothing along with his Calvins, and when his cock sprung me you felt the inside of your mouth water at the sight. 
The man hovered just above you as he positioned his dick right at the entrance, poking between the folds. “Say the magic word, now, baby,” he commanded quietly, and just for the last time, you had to be the most annoying person in the world. 
“Donghyuck!”
The second that damned name slipped out of your mouth, you completely regretted it as instead of making sweet, slow love to you, Bang Chan thrusted his cock so hard into you your whole body flinched with the impact. You couldn’t suppress the whimper that escaped, tears settling in your eyes, but alas, your best friend had little sympathy for you. 
“Bitch,” he seethed, pulling out, widening your eyes only to have him slam his cock back into you, sending you into another universe entirely. 
You envied his strength — you could barely hold onto his arms while his grip on you could probably compete with the Earth’s gravity, stable and safe and inescapable. He imprisoned you in his hold as he pulled out slowly, and then drove back inside, but you wanted to be in this cage, to never leave his midnight eyes that offered something other than rage and lust and humour. You dared not wonder what it might be, but when you closed your eyes, your mind began to ponder, float amongst the stars of ideas and questions which defined your relationship.
As Chan began to fasten his pace, thrusts more erratic, you held onto his dark curls, mouth never refraining every moan and whine which he fucked out of you. There he was, the man who deemed you worthy of being pleasured, despite risking your decade old friendship to see you have the same advantages as any old person who was sexually frustrated.
But this man did not just give you any old advantages — he offered the whole world in his hands to you, knelt before you, fulfilled your every waking desire, held onto you before you could ever slip away into the chaos of your mind. Even now, with you getting lost into the galaxies of his eyes, it was solely his hands which were the anchor to reality, a reality he made better by his offer. 
Bang Chan, your very best friend. 
When he caught the tenderness radiating on your face, he could not help stealing a little for himself, moulding his lips upon yours as he pistoned you in the bed. It was perhaps this small warmth, along with his perfect rhythm of his cock that had you crying out, barely able to contain your second release.
You broke away from the kiss, and uttered his name like a prayer. “Chan,” you whimpered, not needing to say anything for him to realise that you were so very near.
He pressed his forehead against yours, unable to keep away from you. “Fine then,” he grumbled. “I’ll go easy on you.
“Cum for me, ____.”
The words weren’t fully out when you stained Chan’s bed with your release, pushing through the tiny spaces in your walls. He, too, let out an aggravated cry as he spilled into you, most mingling along with your cum upon the sheets. 
A heavy silence fell upon the both of you, both of your breathing harmonising with each other in the cold midnight. Chan toppled on the side of the bed next to you, closing his eyes as he breathed from his mouth, chest rising unevenly.
For minutes none of you said anything to each other, simply basking in each other’s peace. You felt the eyes of your best friend, and locked them with yours.
You decided to break the silence first. 
“I’m sorry for saying his name.”
Brilliant. Why would you mention that stupid idol once again? 
Chan, surprisingly, burst into laughter. You were caught completely off guard, but seeing his smile lighten up his face had you reflecting his happiness. 
“You are,” he rasped out, holding onto his stomach, “The most annoying bitch I’ve ever met.”
“Hey!” You exclaimed, smacking him on his arm, which he responded with threats of pushing you off the bed. “You wouldn’t dare!”
His hands were upon you in seconds, steering you at the edge of the mattress. He cackled at your shocked yelping, and you glared at him as he pushed you away from the edge, and into his arms. “Asshole,” you murmured, burying your face in his chest, which he gladly welcomed as he stroked your hair softly with his fingers. 
You both found solace in each other’s embrace for a little while before Chan let go of you. “Hey, I completely forgot, but...I got you something while you were out.”
Your eyes perked up at the idea of a gift, which the man tutted when he noticed. “Greedy whore,” he crowed, getting out of the bed as he strolled to his desk, grabbing a brown paper bag. His marble-cut ass was out for you to see, and you took full advantage, watching it with no small amount of admiration. 
“Enjoyed the view?” He asked innocently as he slithered right back into bed again, offering you the paper bag. Sticking your tongue out at him, you took the offer, opening it up to see what was so special inside.
Catching sight of the gift had you bursting into a smile.
“Chan!”
You whipped the goods out of the bag, hand on your mouth.
The man bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling too wide. “You like it?”
“You like it?” You parroted, already digging in. “Where did you even find these?”
“Oh, I visited my mom earlier in the day, and she got the cookies from the old shop,” he explained, taking one of the sweets for himself. “I instantly thought of you as she gave them to me, so I saved them for you.”
You widened your eyes in affection. These sweets may have been normal, bakery cookies, but they held a significance for the both of you: these cookies were what started the whole trend of you and Chan rating certain objects or situations for each other, and whenever you were on an academic break, you made sure to drag your friend back to our hometown, where you could always grab a dozen of your favourite snack.
“Thank you for these, bud,” you said, eating away the first cookie. “I think they’ve become better than an eight now.”
Chan hummed in agreement, finishing off his one too. Licking the crumbs off his fingers, he then turned to you, a question riddled all over his face. “Hey, ____?”
“Yeah?”
When he didn’t say anything, you focused your attention on him, propping your head on your elbow. You saw with slight surprise that his cheeks were reddening by the second.
“Chan?”
“It’s just…” he raised his hand, holding your own. “I’ve been thinking about…all of this.”
You raised your brows, refusing to reveal the dread rising in your gut. “Us?”
“Yeah, us,” he confirmed, stroking his thumb across your fingers. “Now, remember that you’ll always be my best friend, okay, like I don’t want you thinking that this would be the end of us or something—”
“Get to the point, buddy,” you hurried along, earning a glare from him.
Then, he licked his lips in anxiety, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Hand never leaving yours, he pinned you with a stare, making you even more nervous.
He parted his mouth. 
“____, would you like to go on a date with me?”
You blinked. 
Your delayed reaction had Chan groaning. “Fuck, nevermind, just forget I said anything!” He swiped his hand away from yours, holding his head in shame. “I should have kept my big mouth shut, your bad habits are really growing on me—”
“Yes.”
Your best friend paused. 
Turned, ever so slowly, towards you. 
“What?”
You could not contain your smile as you took his hand once more. “I’ll go on a date with you, you big oaf.”
For a second you truly believed you had killed off Chan with that declaration. Then, his face exploded into pure joy, and he tackled you in a massive hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“Oh my fucking God!” he cursed, “Don’t do that to me again!”
You laughed heartily as you put him at arms’ length. “You were the one doing mental gymnastics!” 
Refusing still to let go of you, he played with your hair as he clamped on his lips. “One more thing.”
“Shoot.”
“How good was I?” He looked at you, a vulnerable expression etched onto his beautiful features. “You know...with all of this.”
You stared at him, drinking in his face, his every detail, as if you had all the time in the world. Firstly, you had a right mind to pull his leg one more time, but you feared that if you made fun of him again, he might die of a heart attack.
And you still had many more years of tormenting your best friend.
So you brought him towards you, pressing your lips onto his. He seemed very much obliged to go deeper, but you pulled away just as quickly, offering him a ghost of a smile.
“I think you were a 10/10,” you whispered. “From start till finish.”
Hearing the score, and sensing your sincerity along with it, had him in near tears. He enveloped your mouth with his, backing you against the divan as he expressed his affection within the rhythm of his lips. 
When he pulled away, still mere inches from you, he said the words he’d been meaning to say since the day he first laid eyes on you — since the day you two contacted this system, since the day he knew your rating as if he knew his own name.
“Well, baby, you’ve always been a 10/10 for me.”
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itsallavengers · 7 years
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Whoah Shit lol I just realised I’ve been giving up on everything in my life for months now and I Didn’t Even Notice myself slipping lol wild! Wild
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