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#sorry i'm venting my insecurity here

sunnys-sonnets · 8 months

Note

After seeing the art that inspired you- why Hint Of Magic? how was that idea even formed, how did you come up with all the world-building and the smut? (I am always in awe)

I remember looking at the art and trying to make it make sense. And that made a story come of it. A fairy sitting on a knight's shoulder? How did that come to be? Especially with this pairing? Shouldn't they hate each other? Why don't they hate each other? No one is stopping them? Or maybe these meetings and "relationship" is a secret that they both want to keep. But why would Heimdall care about a random fairy? There has to be an incentive for him to keep seeing and meeting with this fairy until they're going to eventually get along. Alright. Give Heimdall a mission from Odin. Easy. Gather fairy dust. They fairies? They're like the Jotunar in GoW. Dangerous and mysterious. But Atreus cute and sweet so Heimdall would have to find it endearing eventually. Their relationship grows, oh no, but they are enemies and Heimdall knows it'll never work and Atreus is stuck in the forest never to leave it even if he wanted to. Boom plotline scraped from cute fanart and GoW.

Ploy's artwork for sure inspired me (and other artists too!) and I think I wanted more of it or stuff like it. And at the time, I needed some variety in what I was writing, I needed a little break from "Mischief and Foresight" so I devised a plan. If I made a fanfiction on the artwork and it was well-liked and well-received then that would mean that more fanart would be made of it, right? Wrong and egotistical. But it was super fun to write and then Lore accidentally kept coming up and it kept expanding??? Like, pretty sure it was going to only have like one or two chapters but it kept growing and I still hope people like it but I often leave it to the side since it's just a side AU

#A Hint of Magic fic #I like A Hint of Magic but I'm a little insecure about it because it doesn't follow the main plotline of GoW or a big AU people like #and at the time I think I was saddened that it wasn't liked like “Mischief and Foresight” was so it felt like a sign like I should stay #in my lane or just stick with what people like #I think I was comment-hungry and that's why #It's like I forgot why I started writing Heimtreus to begin with #because I loved the ship and loved Chaos in an Archer Suit and wanted to expand the story in a spinoff and show my love for it #So I might have poisoned it for myself by desperately trying to write in ways that I though would get people to like it when it #never got the reactions I wanted & it got me all upset so I might have been disillusioned & then dropped the fic for a while because of it #And that's on me and no one else because I did that to me #No one should be forced to like my work or feel guilt-tripped by this #it just shows me that I really have to learn to write for myself because I have to love what I do because unless I'm being paid #fuck everybody else #Sorry for the VENTING and throwing all my baggage at you! That was definitely NOT what you asked 😅🤣#The World-Building is because I like making things make sense and making a story from it and the smut is because I wanted people to like me #so that's pretty much the answer that you did sorta ask #begging people to ignore the fucking ESSAY in the tags! Like Please! I'm just Bitching! I'm just pissing & crying over here! LOOK AWAY #heimtreus #sunny's answers

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tsukuyomiland · 1 year

Text

Someone:

-Abuse my affection by making me an emotional slave that had to be ready to talk to them at the time they said or otherwise get guilt-tripped ("I feel so alone" "you said you would be here").

-I had to be ready to comfort them at any time, with situations like me having my baby niece crying in my arms and they DEMANDING my total attention even knowing it, or demanding drawings to make them feel better.

-Lies to me. Blatantly.

-Makes me feel miserable filling my life with constant negativity. I wasn't allowed to express any kind of personal happiness publicly because it "hurt their feelings". Me drawing better than them also hurt them, I felt compelled to pretend I was less skilled.

-Contacts IRL friends of mine and tell them my now husband is "manipulating me". (He was in fact saving me of their toxic influence).

-Steals my art. Lies to me when I demand my art to be removed. Sends me a broken link to a blog. Later I find out they only changed the username and I find my art again used without my permission.

-Steals concepts and characters I created. Lies blatantly about their creation to erase my contribution and real origin.

-Erases my name from collabs.

-Writes a journal on Deviant Art full of blatant lies. When I call out, they say my screenshots are fake.

-Copies drawings from me (and other artists). They get comments like "nice pose", they only say thank you without mention it was referenced-copied.

-I demand those drawings to be deleted or at least, get credited. I'm ignored. The drawings are still there.

-Impersonates me, takes my username and posts stuff with the intention of discredit me. Some allude to things like "how to make fake screenshots" showing that they were aware of their activity and were ready to use that argument against me even knowing it would be false, showing their bad faith.

-Sends me repeated insults, some as tasteless as calling my newborn son "broken condom". Allusions to the fascist dictatorship my country suffered. Calling me lazy for not drawing my comic... The day after I gave birth. And much more. I have screenshots of all of them, so I have proof.

-Accusations of plagiarism. I only took the characters I made and put them in a completely different context. Telling my story is a copy of theirs is like saying Gone with the Wind is a copy of Jurassic Park.

-Accused me of being friends with a person with who I exchanged barely a couple conversations and with which I have no connection at all.

Me:

-Decided to cut a friendship after months of emotional suffering that was affecting my relationship with my husband, my mood, my skills, after I found a "secret blog" full of stuff I feel unable to support, after they told me a thing that was the final red flag I was able to put up after a history of ignoring red flags.

-I decided to choose my own happiness.

-I decided to choose mental health.

-I never insulted.

-I never lied.

-I felt manipulated, with the feeling my only value to them was my drawing skills to be used for their project and my relative popularity in a fandom to help them to get noticed themselves. I had the feeling the only reason they clinged to my friendship was that they would lose the use of my skills. The episode of the stolen drawings confirmed it to me.

-I only asked my stuff to get removed, ready to move on and hoping my characters and concepts won't be used never again. After they lied to me, I decided I earned my right to recover and use what was mine. I even surrendered one of those characters completely as a gesture of good will because they had an attachment to said character.

-I've shown repeatedly actions of good will and hopes of stable terms.

-I deleted my Deviant Art account, that they helped to boost in watchers, in order to not be accused of 'taking advantage' of their action. I haven't had an account on dA ever since.

-I've sent private emails to manage our problems directly. Ignored by them.

-There is no one left on their side who was a witness of our friendship, relationship and exchanges at the time, because I was the only friend they had then -another lie: they said once that I wanted to isolate them so I could be their only friend, totally false because I always encouraged they could search new friends in their area and even helped them actively to set the accomodations for an Erasmus trip. In the opposite, they are who made actions to get me afar from my irl friends and husband so I could focus only on them. They can say whatever they want to the people surrounding them now and be believed because they don't know me at all, never worried about knowing my side, and I don't expect it. My image is at their mercy, and they don't hesitate in using lies. There is nothing I can do against it that doesn't require legal action.

But I guess I'm the baddie, huh.

#sick of shutting up #the only thing I've been doing is to live my life #but I've been suffering and still suffer that person's bad faith and insecurity #a bunch of nice words are useless if it later goes with more wrong actions #i'm sick everybody can say and do whatever they want and I have to be here swallowing and swallowing and living with a broken heart #pretend everything is fine #and being unable to even vent #i just wanna cry #I only wanted to be happy is the only thing I wanted like everybody does #all these years being blamed for searching my happiness #for defending myself #people want me to be their punching ball and stay quiet while being punched and even say sorry because my face is hitting their fist #i'm tired I'm so tired so so fucking tired

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angelltheninth · 5 months

Note

Can I make a request of Sung Jin Woo being the reader's childhood best friend?

They are so in love with each other but reader is highly insecure and believes that he is in love with Cha Hae In?

Readers gets jealous and vent it out with Jin Woo when he asked what's wrong?

If possible, can this request be NSFW?

(You can do this any time and not rush. I really love your work and this is my very first request.)

I'm very excited that this one is getting an animated adaptation next year.

Pairing: Sung Jinwoo x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, insecurity, self-doubt, reassurance, comfort sex, kissing, praise, jealousy

A/N: There are so many cool webtoones and manhwa out there I'm glad a lot of them are getting the recognition they deserve.

Jingwoo agreed to meet you at your favorite café to talk about what has been bothering you for the past few months. He's seen your performance get worse and worse but he hasn't seen the cause of it. As your long time friend however he would offer you any help he can. First it comes in the form of caffeine and sweets, then in words of encouragement but none seem to get through to you. You can see that Jingwoo is worried about you but if you told him what was bothering you you're worried it might end your friendship. But not telling him could also end your friendship because you've been avoiding him a lot lately.

"Tell me what's been bothering you. It's bad enough to make you slip up and you know that's not really an option out there. If I can help you out in any way I will. That's what best friends are for right? And it's not just me, I know any one of your friends would say the same."

You don't want him to keep worrying so you need to bite the bullet and let him know about your jealousy. You don't blame Jingwoo for falling for Cha Hae at all, she's inspiring and good looking and can be by his side in fights during battles better then you can. It's not him who is at fault here and you're sorry if you ever made him think so. This is an issue purely born out you being unable to see your childhood friend and longtime crush falling in love with someone else.

"Cha Hae? I don't have a crush on her. She's an amazing ally, she's fun to spend time with but... I've got my eyes on someone else. I have since before the System made me who I am. It's you, even when I was an E-Rank Hunter you were always supporting me, and after everything that's happened you're still by my side. You have no one to be jealous over, there's no one that can ever take your place in my heart."

He rushed you both out of the café because the tension of your confessions made the air so damn thick. You didn't last a minute with your clothes on after getting to your place, and neither did Jingwoo. He was even more impatient to get you naked. His cock began to get hard on your way here, causing him to stumble up the stairs a few times. You find yourself on your back on your bed and Jingwoo taking in every detail of your body, as well as pinning your hands so you can't hide from his eager lips leaving their marks on you.

"Don't hide, do you forget we grew up together? You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Do you have any idea how many nights I spend busting a nut to you? So many tissues gone into the trashcan because my cock couldn't go down when I thought about how wonderful and sexy you are. It makes me feel better that you couldn't keep your hands still either. Now we don't have to hide. Please, can I make love to you?"

When you cried it wasn't because Jingwoo was hurting you and being too rough, you cried because the person you loved not only loved you back but he was also kissing you, thrusting his cock in and out very gently actually, much too gently for someone of his strength. Clenching around him only served to make him push his cock in deeper but not faster, he wanted this to last for as long your hole could take his cock fucking it. He wanted to make up for all those cumshots he lost in his hand.

"How long do you think you can go for? We can take a break, I don't mind cuddling with you. In fact I think it's great idea. We can talk come more until the soreness goes away. So tell me, how long did you know you were in love with me? Cause for me it was at least a few years back now. Hm? Damn, that long huh? Actual childhood then. Sorry I left you pining for so long. Promise I'll make it all up to you."

#sung jin woo x reader #sung jinwoo smut #sung jinwoo x reader #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling #sun jin woo x fem reader #solo leveling smut #solo leveling x reader smut #manhwa x reader #manhwa x you #manhwa imagine #manhwa headcanon #manhwa smut #webtoon x reader #webtoon imagine #webtoon heacanon #webtoon smut

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pleasurebuttonwrites · 5 months

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Irritated

Matt Murdock x F!Reader | Explicit 18+ | 2.2K

Summary Cooking for Matt goes all wrong and your insecurities come out.

Warnings smut, oral (f receiving), angst with a happy ending

A/N First time writing for Matt. The perfectionism was strong with this one - this has been sitting for months and I'm finally posting.

~~~

The cloud of smoke is quickly filling the apartment. You had turned the burners off, but the charred mass in the skillet is still sizzling. You crank the vent hood fan on high, and open a window. It isn’t enough.

—

As he’s racing home across the rooftops, the smell singes his nostrils. His body is exhausted but it gives him a dose of adrenaline before he realizes that it’s not a fire, just a burnt dinner.

Dinner? At this time of night?

That’s when it dawns on him. The smell is coming from his apartment. Maybe it’s my neighbor, he hopes with half-hearted optimism. With the way his night has gone, he doesn’t think he’ll get that lucky.

—

You’re fanning the smoke out of the window, using one of Matt’s law document tomes in Braille, when you hear the door to the roof. You speed up your fanning, as if that will in any way remove the smell from the apartment.

His footsteps are on the steps now and you turn to apologize — with some self-deprecating humor to relieve your anxiety — when you catch the irritation on his face. Cautiously, you say, “I’m sorry about the smoke. I was just trying to cook and I don’t know what—”

“It’s fine.” He cuts you off with words a little too flat and forceful to be sincere.

That familiar feeling washes over you. You had expected it to happen sooner or later, and here it was. He was finally figuring out that you were more trouble than you were worth.

He tosses his mask on the chair and yanks off his gloves, his mood infecting every motion. Without another word to you he retreats to his room and closes the door behind him.

—

From the other side of the door, Matt catches the way your breath hitches, hears you gather your things and walk out. He wants to stop you but the devil still has a hold on him and he knows he could only make things worse now.

He knew this would happen sooner or later. He knew he’d drive you away. Took longer than he thought it would. He tells himself the smart thing to do would be to let you go. Just let it end here.

But he hears your footsteps on the pavement outside. You’re walking home instead of taking a cab. He throws a shirt and pants on over his suit, and chases after you.

—

You only make it a block before he walks out of the shadows and strolls along next to you, not even winded from catching up.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone. You could get hurt.”

He says it so matter-of-factly, resentfully even. If he’s there out of real concern for you, rather than a sense of duty, he doesn’t show it. You say nothing to that and he doesn’t speak again.

The walk seems to take longer under the weight of the silence between you. When you finally get to your building’s door, you unlock it quickly and step inside. You don’t even look at Matt as you push the door closed behind you. But before it can latch, he catches it.

“Sweetheart,” he begins. “I’m sorry about the way I— the way I acted. It had nothing to do with you. I had a shitty night and I should’ve cooled off before coming home.”

When he puts it like that, it makes you seem unreasonable. Softly, apologetically, you say, “No, you should get to cool off in your own home.”

The words you’re not saying hang in the air between you but you feel too foolish to speak them so instead you stand there in the doorway, picking at your nails, looking down at them instead of him. He reaches out and stills your fidgeting, his warm hand enveloping both of yours. “What is it, sweetheart? Will you talk to me, please?”

Your first instinct is to lie, but the way he subtly turns his ear to you lets you know he’s listening to your heartbeat. Your pulse picks up just from knowing he’ll know if you lie.

You let out a sigh. “I just— I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

His brows furrow and he lifts his chin. You wait for him to prompt you but he’s going to keep silent until you tell him everything. He’s stubborn like that.

You remind yourself that he actually wants to know. He’s asking you for the truth. You take a deep breath, gearing up for an act of trust, and you let it all spill out. “All I do is make everything worse. I mean, I don’t bring anything to this relationship. But I thought maybe I could make you a nice meal. Then I’d be good for something. And that blew up in my face. Almost literally.”

A thick silence follows and you think he must be struggling and failing to dispute anything you’ve said. But you realize you’ve read it all wrong when he says in a quiet and deadly voice, “You think you don’t bring anything to our relationship?”

That voice — his devil’s voice — never fails to light a fire inside you. The sudden heat on your skin makes the night air feel that much cooler, and you shiver. His nostrils flare as he inhales deeply, taking in all the ways your body has reacted to him.

He steps forward into your building, and you step back. “It seems I haven’t properly showed you how important you are to me.”

As he advances, you back down the hallway. You can’t take your eyes off his face. The naked desire, the grim determination, the devil stalking his prey. You nearly collide with the staircase banister, but he gently guides you out of the way with a hand on your hip. One he doesn’t remove until you get to your door.

He plucks the keys from your hands and feels for the right one before quickly unlocking your door. It swings open but you both stand at the threshold.

“Matt,” you begin. As much as your body is begging for him, you feel guilty that the whole situation got turned around. You were trying to prove something to him and now he’s the one putting in the effort. Again. “I just feel like I haven’t yet earned your love.”

He hangs his head, exhaling his frustration. “First of all, you don’t need to earn my love. Secondly, if you even think for one second that you don’t deserve it, then I’ve failed you.”

“No, stop! I’m the one who fucked up, okay?” You storm past him into your apartment. He follows you inside, shutting the door behind him.

He draws in a breath to say something, but thinks better of it. He nods and says simply, “Okay.”

It’s the way he gives in that has you on alert. He never just gives in; he’s planning something.

“Make it up to me, then,” he tells you.

“How?”

“Take off your pants.”

“Matt—”

“I said, take off your pants.”

“That can’t be all I’m good for.”

“Sweetheart, I promise you we will find a way for you to feel deserving in this relationship. But right now, let me surround myself with your scent so I can get this smoke out of my nostrils.”

How were you supposed to think straight when he says things like that to you? You really wanted to give him what he wanted, but it didn’t feel right. “Well then that’s just you doing something for me again and I still can’t give you anything.”

He flashes that grin he uses during cross-examination when he’s about to tear the prosecution’s case to shreds. “You wanted to feed me. Now let me eat.”

—

You don’t know how he does it. But as soon as you stopped protesting, he had you naked with your ass at the edge of the couch and him kneeling in front of you.

“Spread your legs for me,” he says in a low, soft voice. You do as he says. He takes one deep breath and whines, his tongue flicking out over his bottom lip. “I can already taste you.”

He starts on your thighs, pressing kisses from your knee to the hinge at your hip all along the soft, sensitive skin of your inner thigh. You feel the heat of his breath pass over your cunt before he kisses his way down to your other knee.

He’s doing it on purpose. Taking his time and lavishing you with kisses. Giving again. The guilt washes over you. “Matt—”

He shushes you just as the pad of his thumb brushes at your entrance, collecting your slick before sliding up to your clit. Your eyes roll back into your head and your words die on your lips. He applies just the right amount of pressure as he works circles over your sensitive nub. You whimper at his touch and he gives a satisfied hum in response.

It feels so good yet it’s not enough. “Matty, please.” Your voice is barely even a whisper but he hears you loud and clear. He lifts his thumb to his lips, moaning as your taste hits his tongue at last.

You expect to feel his mouth on you but instead he brings his hands together and says, “Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts—”

“Matt—”

His name is no sooner from your mouth than his lips wrap around your clit, and you cry out from the pleasure. His skilled tongue slides through your folds and dips into your entrance. You clench around nothing, pushing more of your juices onto his greedy tongue. You don’t have to worry about making a mess on the couch. He’d never let one drop of you spill.

You honestly don’t know which of you are making more noise. He’s so vocal even with his mouth as busy as it is. He grunts and moans with every exhale, and every inhale is a heavy intake through his nose — when it’s not pressed into you.

Your hand, outstretched at your side, grips a throw pillow, the stuffing clumped beneath your palm, your fingers wrinkling the fabric. Matt clamps his hand over yours — while his tongue continues swirling — and guides you to the crown of his head. You grip a fistful of his hair and instinctively pull him even tighter to you.

His moans muffle but grow more desperate. In truth, you try hard not to make more sound than your breath, just to catch every unhinged noise of his.

You’re so close now. You can’t help but raise your hips a bit, humping his face as his tongue works you over. The vibration of his growl sends you over the edge. No matter how quiet you’ve been trying to be, the force of your orgasm rips pleas from your lips. “Matty…fuck! Oh, Matty, hngh…”

As you come down from your high, you loosen your grip on his hair and he slowly pulls away from you. You take in the sight of him. A bit of his Daredevil suit peeks beneath his shirt. His hair is mussed, hairline damp with sweat, and his mouth and chin are coated with you. He licks his lips and smiles and it’s totally unfair how pretty he is just like this.

You let your head fall back, your breathing slowly returning to normal. But the drop in your heart rate coincides with the rise of your thoughts, and the feelings of guilt, shame, unworthiness. You don’t know why you can’t just accept his love. But no matter how much you try to trust that he means what he says, you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve fooled him somehow. And he’s going to wake up one day realizing his mistake.

Almost as if he can read your thoughts —

“Sweetheart, if you need me between your legs to chase away your thoughts, I’m more than happy to be of service, but it’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with it.”

“Matt Murdock’s lecturing me on what’s healthy.”

“I know. I know.” He gives you that wide smile. So comforting that it’s impossible to feel anything but warmth when he smiles at you like that. Then he gives your thigh a little smack and says, “Let’s get cleaned up.”

—

Later, while you’re laying in bed together, his body cradled around yours, you’re both too tired to continue the conversation you know you need to have, a conversation of the ongoing variety. In the quiet and the dark you both feel your insecurities rise. Matt is pretty sure he’ll end up driving you away. You’re pretty sure he’ll realize you aren’t as great as he thinks and leave. But both of you really want this to work and you’re both willing to work on it.

Your thoughts hazy, your breath becoming rhythmic, you speak into the dark. “I don’t have to cook for you, you know. Like if you don’t want me to. Do you want me to?”

He hums in response, sleep nearly stealing his ability to speak. “If you want to… then I want that…too. But you don’t have to. But you can. You can use my kitchen whenever you want. If you want.”

You’re both quiet again and you nearly fall asleep then he says, “Just not for a few days. Let the smoke clear. ‘M staying at yours til then.”

#matt murdock fic #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem!reader #daredevil fic #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil fanfic #matt murdock smut

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twogyuu · 2 years

Text

Love Me Out Loud

Pairing: Mingyu x fem!reader

Featuring: BooSeokSoon, the rest of team ENFJ, Kim Taehyung, Irene/Joohyun, Younghee

Synopsis: Kim Mingyu was your first, but to him, he was for sure you were his endgame. One year out from university, no one expected you to be dating the former campus heartthrob. It's why you had to hide it from everyone – Mingyu's 14.5K Instagram followers, at least. However, the return of your childhood best friend Kim Taehyung to Seoul for a wedding, forces Mingyu to rethink the secrecy of your whole relationship.

Genre: Fluff, angst, smidgen of crack, established relationship, secretbf!mingyu, medschoolgrad!reader, childhood bestfriend!taehyung, bestfriend!younghee, title inspired by Chungha's Love Me Out Loud

Warnings: Use of profanity, mentions of food and alcohol, inaccurate statistics about couples, lack of communication, insecurities, yes I chose cliché wedding songs . . . I think that's it?

WC: ~14.6K

A/N: Surprise 🤡 This fic was inspired by Mingyu's IG thirst photos. Also . . . high-key low-key me projecting my beef with him onto the couple in this au😳 I deeply apologize in advance if the main conflict of this fic is kind of stupid 😭 I needed to . . . uh, vent out some steam :') Only Kim Mingyu can make me feel this deeply to the point where I can smash out almost 15K words in three sittings, despite recently declaring Vernon (and maybe Jihoon) as my new biases . . . (I am not proud).

I was this close to throwing out this fic, but @onlymingyus encouraged me to follow through with it, so here's the final result. Thank you for believing in my hot recycling writing when I can't, fam 😭

Other things: Per usual, this is unedited, so I'm sorry for any grammar and error mistakes. One of these days when I'm feeling ambitious, I will come back and fix them. This will probably be my last update in a while! I have a couple big exams coming up I need to focus on. I also need to work on those 1K fic drabbles (and finishing my 2 other series 🤡)! I'll be lurking around simping over Vernon, but for the most part, I'll see you all on the other side in a few weeks, hopefully having passed my exams with flying colors and with some new stories and updates in hand.

Last, Kim Mingyu if you're reading this: Sir, please love me back in my dreams at the bare minimum!!! 😭💔 #iykyk

Permanent taglist: @sleeplessdawn @woozarts @wonuziex @rockwidthyou @bibinnieposts @jeonghanniehae95

“He looks like a . . . a fuck boy.”

Her brows knitted together with a frown set on her lips, Younghee sank down into the wooden chair and shot you a concerned look. Mirroring her disappointment, though for different reasons, you pouted and lowered the image of your new boyfriend closer to your chest. Silently, you clicked the side button of your phone that turned your screen black.

“He’s not,” you mumbled, your feelings hurt that your best friend would think you were that dumb to fall for a fuck boy.

Younghee let out a heavy sigh, running her hands through her long wavy black hair. She tucked a loose strand behind her ear and clasped her hands together, tilting her head curiously to the side. “What’s his name again?”

“Mingyu,” you replied promptly, “Kim Mingyu.”

“Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu,” she repeated like a mantra, tapping her chin curiously. She narrowed her eyes, “The name sounds familiar.”

“He . . . went to the same uni as me,” you added – not that it mattered a whole lot. Younghee didn’t know many of your friends from university as she didn’t attend with you when the both of you graduated from high school. Rather, she went down her own unique path, opting to attend culinary school and now owning her own bakery. Busy with your post-graduation and adult lives, the two of you hardly found the time to sit down like this and catch up anymore – it’s almost been a year since you last saw Younghee and had a lot to update her on, your relationship Mingyu being the main new occurrence.

Sucking in a sharp breath, she asked, “I don’t remember you talking about him.”

“That’s because I didn’t,” you cleared your throat and took a long sip of your own drink before replying. “We didn’t run in the same circles – I mean, we did, he’s friends with Seokmin and Seungkwan, but I was hardly around when he was because ya know, medical school is busy . . . We met after I graduated.”

“Ah,” Younghee nodded slowly.

“He’s really nice – a sweetheart,” you volunteered. You rubbed your arm, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Treats me well . . . and s-stuff.”

“I mean, I hope he does,” Younghee replied. She shrugged and turned back to her iced coffee, twirling the straw nonchalantly as the ice sloshed against one another inside.

You frowned and let out a heavy sigh. Your shoulders slumped forward. “What don’t you like about him already? You haven’t even met him yet”

“I never said I didn’t like him.”

“You said he was a fuck boy and keep giving me these weird looks.”

Younghee rolled her eyes. She hated how observant you were at the wrong times. “I said he looked like a fuck boy,” she pointed at your phone, “And I don’t know? It’s the air, the vibe, about him in his pictures? He’s definitely good-looking and you can tell he knows it – it’s like . . . arrogant?”

“He’s not–”

“And don’t lie to me, you can tell, the man has had bitches before you.”

“Okay and? We’re nearing our thirties, haven’t we all dated someone at this point?”

“You’ve never dated anyone before Mingyu and there’s a chance that there will be bitches after you.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” you scoffed. As much as you loved your best friend, she was quick to judge and did not know how to filter herself at times. “Also, I did date before this! There was –”

Younghee pointed at you, her eyes wide and playful as she was trying to make a point. “Hoseok doesn’t count – you both were so shy, nothing came about it.”

Annoyed, you pressed your lips tightly, waiting for Younghee to finish rattling off nonsense about Mingyu. She wasn’t wrong per se, but she also wasn’t right. Mingyu was one of three major heartthrobs at your university, and unironically, they were best friends with one another: Kim Mingyu, Joshua Hong, and Lee Chan. Like those cheesy coming-of-age movies set in high school, people gawked at them in the hallways while they blessed everyone with their presence. Women flocked in their direction at parties, hoping at a shot to be their companion for the night, or perhaps even the next few months.

They each had their own charms, it just depended on what you preferred. Joshua Hong was the soft “indie” type. Seemingly lost in his own thoughts, daydreaming and sketching away in his notebook or strumming his guitar during his free time, the former Film major was quite the romantic. He was warm, kind, and soft-hearted. He was the owner of the gentle tinkling laugh that had women and men alike on their knees. Lee Chan was the youngest, but the boldest, of the trio. Effortlessly, funny and shameless, he was quite the flirt; yet known to be quite serious when it came to studies. And last: Kim Mingyu – arguably the most popular out of the three of them. He was a man written by a woman: Handsome, tall, well-built, respectful, and friendly. His photos on Instagram surmounted hundreds of likes within hours of posting them. Rumor had it that brands had offered him deals for modeling, but he always turned them down, opting to focus on pursuing his career in architecture instead. He was practically a university socialite, though that did come with a downside.

“Are you done?” you asked when you saw Younghee lean back into her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

She nodded. “All I’m saying is you need to be careful with men who look like him. Looks can be deceiving.”

“I understand where you’re coming from and thank you for your concern,” you sucked in a sharp breath, “But . . . give him a chance? Mingyu’s . . . the first guy I’ve really liked in a long time.” You peered up at Younghee through your lashes, gnawing at your bottom lip. “I also thought he was going to be like that in university, up to when Seungkwan first introduced us: arrogant, only here for an ego boost and to play with me and go about his life, but . . . I don’t know, he has his flaws, but something’s . . . different about him. I promise.”

Younghee eyed you curiously, chewing the tip of her straw between her pearly white teeth. She turned your words in her head over and over like she was observing a stone in her hand. To her, Mingyu was an interesting shift from your type, which you had claimed your last crush, Hoseok, was. He wasn’t ugly, but from the first look, you knew that wasn't all there was to him like Mingyu. Hoseok was cheerful – he added color to your dull, gray life. His style was definitely unique to put it kindly, but he was supportive and got along well with all of your friends, especially Seokmin. She hadn’t met him yet, but one look at the picture of Mingyu wearing a black T-shirt reading, “ART THAT KILLS,” and coyly looking at the camera while putting on his headphones was enough to set off alarms in her head.

Younghee let out a sigh and dropped her empty plastic cup onto the table. Her lips contorted as her eyes wandered around the cafe before they landed on you. Reaching over to place her hand over your clasped ones, she leaned in, trying to read your face. Clearly, you were upset with her. She wasn’t sure if you were just so far up Mingyu’s ass that you didn’t see the red flags, or maybe, she was wrong and Mingyu really was a good guy, so you genuinely did like him.

“How long have the two of you been dating again?” Younghee asked.

“Seven months,” you mumbled.

She nodded. It was a sizable amount of time and you usually did have a good read on people to break things off before they got toxic – but maybe Kim Mingyu was a different breed. “And why is that I’m only finding out about him now? As your best friend, I kind of expect you to blow up my phone the day you made it official.”

“We agreed to keep it on the down-low,” you played with your thumbs, avoiding her eyes. Your mind flitted to the day, Mingyu and you talked about it on his old beat up blue couch. You still remembered the way his hands gingerly crept up to caress your own, his eyes silently pleading you to give him a chance. “A secret, if you will?”

“But I’m your best friend,” Younghee frowned. She felt her stomach churn, though she was trying to keep calm and let you explain your side of the story before she misunderstood.

“You are!” you exclaimed, covering her hands with yours now. You folded your thumbs over her fingers. “B-but for my sake, I chose to keep it a secret and I asked him to do the same – he was only doing what I asked him to do . . . Not many people knew about us. Only Seungkwan, Soonyoung, and Seokmin really did – Seungkwan set us up anyhow. Mingyu only told his friends recently too.”

“Okay,” Younghee replied slowly, “Why did you want to keep it a secret then?”

“I - I . . . Mingyu is, err, famous?” you offered.

“All of it in one go, girlie, don’t stutter,” Younghee encouraged you, “I won’t understand otherwise.”

You huffed out a breath, blowing off the fringes in your eyes. “This is so cliche,” you muttered, “But Mingyu . . . was the, uh, ‘campus heartthrob’ at our university. A lot of people liked him and, uh, you were right, he dated a lot of people before me. With those people, he . . . was very vocal about his relationship with them on Instagram – you know, like, posting cute couple pictures and stuff. You knew when they were together, and you knew when they weren’t anymore, or when he found someone else. As much as I like him, I don’t want everyone from university who follows him to be all up in my business – especially since we graduated already. I-I like my privacy and the small world I built in university. You know too, I hardly use my IG account.”

“Anything else?” Younghee offered, giving you the space to add any sparing details.

Biting your bottom lip, you replied, “I’m also scared about how my parents, especially my mom, will react when they find out I’m dating Mingyu . . . You know how they are.”

“You didn’t even tell your mom!?” Younghee exclaimed.

“I know I’m almost twenty-six and I shouldn’t be scared of my mother, but I am,” you wailed, burying your head in your arms. “I wanted to be sure before I introduced Mingyu to them, let alone, tell them about him because I’m scared they’ll give the same scolding you did – but worse.”

Younghee let out a chortle. She rounded the table to sit in the seat next to you, pulling your form into her arms. “You’re the cutest.”

“Stop finding joy in my misery,” you whined.

“But in all seriousness,” Younghee rubbed circles into your back, “I get it now. It makes sense why you kept it from me, especially when we run such opposite lives – you at the hospital and me at my bakery.”

You nodded, letting out a soft hum. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Though,” Younghee started teasingly. You glowered at her in annoyance, only eliciting a playful smile dancing on her lips, “You must really like him if you’re this cautious and scared.”

You shrank back against the window. “I’m just . . . not sure he feels the same. What if I do like him more than he likes me?”

“What makes you think that?”

“He’s Kim Mingyu, and I’m me – I didn’t see this coming.”

“Did he approach you, or did you approach him?”

You thought for a bit. “The former.”

“And what made you cave in?”

“ . . . Seungkwan?”

“You dated him for Seungkwan?”

You shook your head furiously. “No, no, no – I, um . . . Mingyu . . . after we met at Seokmin’s birthday party, we, uh, hung out a few times – as friends, friends only. But one day, he just casually asked me out on a date.”

“And how does Seungkwan play into all of this?” Younghee shook her head.

“At first I told him no because I thought he was joking, but he was persistent. The first time turned into a second, then a third, then a fourth. I thought he’d give up by the fifth time, but he asked again, and he probably told Seungkwan about it because shortly after, he gave me a good long talk,” you peered up Younghee, “You know, Seungkwan and his long talks.”

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she chuckled and replied, “I know them the best.”

“But yeah,” you said in a small voice, perching your chin meekly on your hand.

“Well, I think he’d be blind not to like you as much as you like him,” Younghee reassured you.

You scoffed. “You’re obligated to say that as my best friend.”

“Y/N,” Younghee rolled her eyes, “You’re ambitious, pretty, humble, easygoing – you’re a fucking doctor for heaven’s sake. You’re everyone’s dream girl. Give yourself some credit.”

“I don’t know, Younghee,” you muttered.

Younghee wanted to shake you. As amazing as you were, your insecurity was one of the things that always seemed to get the best of you. It made her heartache that after all your achievements at such a young age, you still succumbed to self-doubt. If only you saw you through her eyes.

“When do I get to meet this ‘Kim Mingyu’?” Younghee asked, hoping to get your mind off of things.

“You . . . want to meet him?” you asked nervously instead.

She nodded. “I need to scope him out – make sure, he’s not here to play with my best friend’s heart.”

“Oh god – don’t. Soonyoung already gave him a hard enough time,” you chuckled at the memory of Soonyoung’s shocked expression when the two of you showed up hand-in-hand, the older man eventually pulling Mingyu aside and giving what Mingyu described as a “stern dad warning.” “But I do really want you to meet him . . . and he wants to meet you too.”

“Oh?”

“I talk a lot about you to him,” you nudged her in her ribs.

Younghee smiled and pulled you into another hug. “I’m happy for you, truly – though, I don’t trust Mingyu 100% yet. Come by the bakery after work or on the weekend sometime. We’re gonna play on my turf.”

“Younghee,” you warned, jokingly.

As you pulled away, your phone lit up, Mingyu’s caller ID, a photo of him with his dog Bobpul that he insisted on, displaying on the screen. Younghee wiggled her eyebrows at you playfully.

“Hello?” you answered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Younghee moved to press her ear next to your phone, hoping to also catch a word or two from your boyfriend.

“What are you doing right now? Where are you?” Mingyu asked softly. His voice was rasp and low as if he just woke up from a nap.

“I’m meeting with Younghee, remember?” you peered up at your best friend. She smirked at you, lightly slapping your shoulder in excitement.

Mingyu let out a soft hum. You heard ‘poof’ in the background, assuming he rolled onto his back and collapsed on his bed. “How much longer are you gonna be there? Do you work today? I miss you – I want to see you.”

“I don’t work today, but I was hoping to spend more time with Younghee,” you side glanced at her, heat creeping across your cheeks. She was angrily holding up her two pointer fingers in a cross, suggesting you cancel your plans and run home to Mingyu. You rolled your eyes and shoved her away. “You know I only get to see her every few months and I saw you two days ago.”

“Mmm . . . it’s been too long though,” Mingyu groaned.

“I’ll see you tonight? After the movie?” you offered.

“I wanna see you now,” he chuckled.

“Gyu.”

“Y/N.”

“You are insufferable,” you chortled.

“But you’re stuck with me, so,” you could just picture him skittishly shrugging his shoulders.

“I’ll come over after, okay?”

“Okay,” he pouted jokingly, “Don’t be too long, love.”

“Bye, Gyu.”

“Bye.”

When you ended the call, you were met with Younghee’s shit-eating grin. A moment of silence passed before she erupted in a thunder of squeals and giggles.

“You two are so gross, but so cute!” she latched onto your arm. “‘Love’? What other pet names does he have for you? Babe? Honey? Sweetheart?”

“Stop,” you groaned, reaching for your purse. “Let’s just go to the movies.”

“Sure thing, love,” Younghee winked facetiously.

. . . .

As promised, you returned to Mingyu’s apartment that evening. Initially, you had only planned on staying a few hours before returning to your own home; however, like more times than not, he managed to convince you to stay the night. Hence, why you were lying in the crook of his arm on his bed, wearing one of his many black T-shirts that were much too large for you, the hem hitting you below mid-thigh.

Because Mingyu couldn’t sleep unless it was completely pitch black, there wasn't a trace of light. He had chosen a windowless bedroom, so not even the slightest sliver of moonlight would seep through. Your only sense of him was his large body half underneath you and the steady rise and fall of breathing.

“I told Younghee about us,” you muttered, tracing invisible circles into his abdomen.

Mingyu replied with a soft hum, followed by a sigh of relief. You felt him shifting underneath you, turning until you were laying on his bicep. You peered up at him through your lashes, the light from outside reflecting off his deep brown irises shining like stars. Mingyu’s hair was getting long as his messy dark bangs were starting to skim the tops of his lashes.

Mingyu reached over and brushed a few strands of loose hair from your face, letting his fingers linger a little longer along the curves of your cheeks. He gave you a small smile. “And?”

“Do you want me to be honest or do you want me to sugarcoat it a little?” you whispered.

His smile grew into a grin – he was already expecting to not be well-received by Younghee as you’ve told him she was rather blunt and critical. It took her almost half a year to warm up to Seokmin because she claimed he was too nice to be true. Especially in the case that he was your first boyfriend in a while, Mingyu knew he’d have to be more than ‘nice’ for Younghee to welcome him into your life.

Mingyu slipped his arms lower, wrapping them around your waist. He pulled you closer to him; you automatically placed both of your hands on his chest in efforts to create some distance between the two of you. It wasn’t that you didn’t like his physical affection, but rather, you weren’t used to someone being so clingy and touchy with you like this before.

“Lay it on me, love,” Mingyu whispered, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I have to hold you in case it hurts too much.”

“You can just hold me if you want to, Gyu,” you giggled.

“You’re my emotional support teddy bear,” he insisted.

You rolled your eyes. Nonetheless, you found yourself snaking your arms around his waist as well. “Younghee thought you looked like a fuck boy.”

“Hhmm,” Mingyu hummed. You could already picture the slight pout setting on his face. You knew he didn’t like it when people made this assumption about him based on his appearance.

“She’s . . . kind of nervous about you for me,” you continued to explain. It was as Mingyu expected, “But . . . I reassured her that you were good and she wants to meet you – but she thinks we’re gross.”

Mingyu let out a breathy chuckle. “Why?”

“When you called, she overheard you calling me ‘love’,” you squirmed a little in his hold.

“Do you think it’s gross?” Mingyu asked instead.

You pressed your lips into a tightline, answering his question with silence. Had you been an outsider watching the two of you, you might have said the same thing as Younghee: gross. However, admittedly, the pet names he gave you like, ‘love’ and ‘teddy bear’ made you feel warm and fuzzy inside – almost special if you will. There was a small voice inside of you that questioned if he did the same with his various past girlfriends.

You buried your face into his chest, the scent of floral laundry detergent filling your nostrils. He must’ve pulled this out of the dryer recently. You felt a rumble bubbling through his body as Mingyu let out another chuckle at your reaction. You had a feeling, he already knew what you were going to say. You’ve only been dating seven months, but he already read you so well.

“Kind of,” you finally replied, your voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“I . . . don’t blame you,” he reassured you. He planted a brief kiss on the crown of your head, while rubbing your back. “We are kind of gross, but . . . I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like it when you call me ‘Gyu.’”

“It’s not that special of a nickname,” you pointed out.

“It is when you say it,” he immediately replied.

You were glad he couldn’t see you right now as your cheeks grew warm. Again, you found yourself burying your face deeper into his chest – as if it could take anymore of you. Simultaneously, you were silently cursing yourself for swooning so easily at each flirt he shot your way. You shouldn’t let him have this much of an effect on you. What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? Will he still be calling you ‘love’? Will you still feel this special for doing the bare minimum?

“What are you thinking about?” Mingyu asked, his voice soft.

“Nothing,” you lied.

“You’ve been quiet for a while now though.”

“I’m just getting tired,” you sighed. You pulled back from his chest, fluttering your eyes shut. “We should sleep.”

Because he didn’t want to argue, Mingyu chose to leave it at that. Perhaps another day he’ll ask what’s been keeping you so preoccupied. With a deep breath, Mingyu turned and tightened his grip on you, molding his body against yours. He could feel you moving in his arms, trying to find a position to get comfortable.

“Good night, Gyu,” you whispered when you had stopped turning.

“Good night, love,” Mingyu replied.

. . . .

You spun around at the familiar sound of his Leica camera shutter going off. Mingyu smiled softly, a fond look in his eyes as he admired the photo on the back screen. Placing the pumpkin spice candle back on the shelf, you shoved your hands in the pockets of your peacoat and walked over to him. Leaning over, you tiptoed peering over his shoulder looking on as well. The picture was of your profile as you read the label of the candle, your hair spilling over your shoulder. You knew Mingyu loved photography and you could appreciate it, but you couldn’t help but frown at the thought of him taking photos of you unaware. You just didn’t like taking pictures unless you had to; they made you uncomfortable, even if it was just Mingyu. Silently, you nudged his side, snapping him out of his musing. Mingyu lowered his camera and turned to face you, a nervous smile dancing on his lips.

“Gyu,” you said softly, “You know I don’t like pictures.”

“You looked nice though,” he mumbled.

You frowned at him.

“Candid pictures are the best,” he tried to convince you.

When you didn’t respond, only pressing your lips into a thin line and looking away, Mingyu finally relented with a soft sigh. He only wanted to love and appreciate you for who you were and that included taking pictures. He wanted to show you, you through his point-of-view; yet, you didn’t want it. Hooking the red camera strap around his neck, he reached over to place his hand on the crook of your elbow, tugging you closer towards him.

“Hey,” he said more firmly this time. You peered up at him silently through your lashes. “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but . . . I just like taking pictures of the people I love.”

Though you understood where he was coming from, it didn’t necessarily make you feel any better. Especially when the Instagram images of Mingyu with his previous girlfriends have flashed through your mind.

“You’re beautiful and I just want to remember small moments like this with you,” his hand trailed from your elbow, down your forearm, naturally fitting them into yours. He gave you a reassuring squeeze. “But if you really are against it, I’ll stop.”

Guilt flooded your system at his words – it was the same unsettling feeling you had when you had asked him to delete his first Instagram story of the two of you. It was a photo taken by Seungkwan, Mingyu’s arm wrapped loosely over your shoulder while your head was tucked away in the nape of his neck with your arm resting on his chest – a closer look would reveal the bashful smile on your face.

“Why?” Mingyu had asked innocently through the phone when you had anxiously called to ask him the favor.

“I just like my privacy,” you had simply told him. “I would also rather . . . uh, keep our relationship out of the . . . public eye right now,” you chuckled nervously, “On the down-low?”

It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the whole truth.

“Okay,” he replied. Little did you know, his heart sank a little. He was excited for your relationship when it started that late spring – as corny as it sounded, it was as if the cherry blossoms bloomed late that year, just for the two of you to come together. Nonetheless, Mingyu wanted to try and be understanding and accommodating – you weren’t quite like any of the other girls he dated previously. “For future references though . . . would you be comfortable if I post pictures of us? Photography,” Mingyu let out a breathy, but nervous chuckle, “It's kind of a hobby of mine and I like sharing the ones I took.”

You had taken a minute to reply, your mind running at 100 miles per hour, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. It was as if the course of your whole relationship flashed before your eyes, the end seemingly soo and grim.

“I-I . . . um, for now, let’s not,” you stuttered, “Maybe as we go along I’ll be more comfortable – just ask.”

But as time continued, the situation didn’t seem to get better. Similarly to today, you’d only get quiet when he took pictures of you, quickly reminding him not to post it on Instagram. Though he was curious if there was more of a reason beyond your privacy, Mingyu never dared to question you. Yet, it made you all the more guilty as time went on.

He loved photography and he loved you – Mingyu was an altruistic and rather pure soul, so you knew his words weren’t without substance. You didn’t want to cut him off from his passion either – refraining from sharing your relationship was already a huge sacrifice for him. Mingyu was extroverted, confident, and unafraid to show himself to the world, and this included his photos and you. For that, you loved him, but you wouldn’t want him to change that for you.

“It’s fine,” you finally muttered.

Mingyu frowned, unconvinced. “Is it though?”

You pulled away from his hold, though not letting go of his hand. “J-just . . . give me a heads up next time okay? Like ‘hey, babe, I brought my camera and I might snap a few pictures,’ okay?”

A mischievous smile replaced the sullen look on his face. He cocked a curious eyebrow in your direction. “Babe?”

You rolled your eyes. “That wasn’t the point I was trying to make.”

Mingyu nodded, acknowledging your point. “I know, I know – I’ll let you know next time.”

“Don’t post it on Instagram,” you added.

Mingyu felt his heart drop into his stomach, unsettled. It’s been seven months and most, if not all of your friends knew at this point. Were you still so worried? Nevertheless, he shooed away the turbulent feeling and nodded. “Promise.”

Looking down at your watch, you tugged Mingyu along towards the exit of the store. “C’mon, it’s almost time to meet Younghee.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, nervous.

You chuckled at him, “Just be you and she’ll love you.”

“I purposely wore this jacket instead of my leather one because I thought it wouldn’t make me look like a fuck boy,” he noted as you pushed open the door. A clang sounded through the store as you walked out, being met by the crisp air of autumn.

You paused in your steps, turning to him and grabbing either side of his collar. Pulling him towards you, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “Mr. Kim,” you teased, “I think we’re past the point in adulthood where you can refer yourself to a fuck boy.”

“Mr. Kim? Are we getting–”

You pecked his lips again to stop him before he could say anything suggestive. “We’re not in university anymore,” you explained, “Nor are we . . . the young adults we used to be.”

“Babe,” Mingyu interrupted, dragging on the word. “You don’t have to be in university to be called a ‘fuck boy’ – Joshua has a full-time job and I can assure you, he still is one!”

“But you’re Kim Mingyu and you aren’t one,” you tilted your head coyly at him.

He pouted, stomping his feet. “I’m just still . . . mildly offended that she would think that.”

“Admittedly, I showed her a very hot picture of you,” you joked, hoping to take the edge off of him. You patted away an invisible crease on his jacket.

Mingyu wrapped his arms around your waist. His eyes darkened as he leaned in, replying in a low voice, “Did you now?”

“I did,” you placed two fingers on his forehead and pushed him away, eliciting a whine from him. You chuckled and marched along. “Younghee doesn’t like people who run late, so we gotta hurry.”

For a moment, Mingyu watched you walk down the street, your hair swaying behind you. He was grinning stupidly and happily, and people were probably staring at him on the street, but he didn’t care. Serendipity was the best way to describe your presence in Mingyu’s life. To this day, he still wonders why he didn’t notice you then when the both of you still attended the same university, your friend groups even clashing through Seungkwan and Seokmin. Nevertheless, he was grateful to have you now. You had problems and differences, but he was hopeful the two of you could work them out. You had to – it’s what people who love each other do when things get hard.

When you were a good distance away and noticed the lack of Mingyu’s presence, you turned around, eyebrows furrowed at him still standing by the streetlamp where you left him. He was grinning, though you weren’t quite sure at what. Just as you were about to call his name, he came jogging in your direction. Immediately, he linked hands with you and marched forward towards Younghee’s bakery again. Though he paid no mind to you, you stared at his profile curiously. Sometimes, you wondered what went on in that pretty head of his.

. . . .

Mingyu liked to think that he was a confident man, always willing to stand up to a challenge. If there was anything he wanted to do, he could put his mind to it and see it through. Yet, sitting here in front of Younghee with coffees that had grown lukewarm and half-eaten cranberry scones on the table, his cheeks burned with shame, the feeling of failure settling in the bottom of his stomach like a rock sinking to the bottom of a lake. Even with your presence next to him, Mingyu couldn’t help but feel like he had just flunked one of his university exams – it was like that, but ten times worse because he knew that there were no revisions.

To put it plainly, rather than this being a pleasant meeting between new friends, Younghee had just grilled him and Mingyu stumbled through it like a rat lost in the sewers. Interestingly, however, the first meeting seemed to go differently for Younghee, your friend, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest, with a sly, but pleased smile dancing on her lips.

An uncomfortable silence ensued. Underneath the table, you felt the warmth of Mingyu’s hand previously resting on your thigh leave your leg, nervously clasping his hands together in his own lap. His eyes fell from Younghee, choosing to take up interest in the creases of his hand instead. Mingyu’s short lashes fluttered quickly . . . almost as if he was blinking back tears? Concerned, you reached over and placed your hand over his, gently pushing them apart, so you could slot your hands in one of them. It didn’t require much effort as Mingyu knew, he needed your reassurance more than ever right now.

“Well, I should probably get back to work,” Younghee casually glanced down at her watch. “Gotta close the shop and prepare for tomorrow – lots to do.”

“Of course,” Mingyu replied softly. He looked up and smiled at your best friend, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

In contrast, Younghee grinned and leaned over the table. “It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Mingyu,” her eyes flickered to you before they rested on his figure again. “I guess . . . you’re . . . much different from what I was expecting. I can kind of see why Y/N likes you now – I hope you stick around, get to know you better, make sure you’re the right fit for my best friend.”

“Younghee,” you warned.

She winked at you playfully. “I’m kidding, Mingyu – but really, it was a pleasure.” Younghee stood up from her chair and wiped her hands on her worn brown apron, stained with blotches of flour here and there. She extended a hand for Mingyu to take. “Come by again, okay?”

Mingyu was utterly confused at the invitation, but took her hand nonetheless. He moved towards the door of the bakery to grant you and your best friend a few moments of privacy to say your goodbyes. You were making your way over, adjusting your purse on your shoulder when Younghee suddenly called your name again. You responded with a soft hum.

“Joohyun’s getting married at the end of next month,” Younghee announced.

Mingyu watched the way you gripped onto the leather strap, your feet stuttering to a stop at the drop of the news – at least to him it was.

“Taehyung,” she continued, stretching out the last syllable. Mingyu noted the way your eyes visibly widen at the sound of the name, “He’s coming back for it, ya know?”

“Taehyung?” you choked. You spun around to look at your best friend, your mind reeled back to the lanky teenage boy with the round chocolate eyes and boxy grin, his hair neatly cut into a bowl cut. “As in Kim Taehyung?”

The space between Mingyu’s eyebrows dipped at the tone of your voice. It was definitely surprise, but was it the good kind? As in you were excited to hear again about this person? Or was it the bad kind, in which he left a dent in your heart? Either way, Mingyu did not have a good feeling about it.

Younghee nodded. “I’m surprised he hasn’t contacted you.”

“He hasn’t,” your voice trailed off, “We haven’t chatted for a while – lost touch the first or second year of university because we both got busy.”

“You’re going, right?” Younghee asked. You saw the way her eyes trailed to your boyfriend standing behind you, her lips pulled mischievously between her teeth. “With Mingyu?”

Right – Mingyu.

You didn’t have to turn around to know the way Mingyu’s lips were already set in a small pout, a crease between his sharp brows now softened in a dispirited expression. He thought he knew everything about you – good, straightforward communication and no secrets, like the two of you agreed. But why was this the first time he was hearing about Joohyun and her upcoming wedding when you seemed to have known for a while now?

Pressing your lips together, you nodded once stiffly. “Y-yeah, I think so.”

The hesitancy in your voice wrung Mingyu’s heart in a funny way.

“Good,” Younghee chuckled, hiding her smile behind the back of her hand. “Him in a suit would make for a dashing Instagram photo with lots of thirsty comments underneath.”

. . . .

“Who’s Joohyun?” Mingyu finally asked.

The two of you were on your way back to his car parked a few blocks away from Younghee’s bakery. The first half of the walk was oddly quiet, but you had chalked it up to Mingyu feeling disappointed about his conversation with Younghee. His usual charming ways did not quite work on the girl as it did with most people. You figured he needed his time and space to process the situation, only asking every now and then if he was okay and where he wanted to go for dinner. However, it seemed like it wasn’t Younghee on his mind, but rather someone else.

Mingyu reached into the pocket of your jacket, intertwining his fingers with yours that were tucked away inside. He eyed your side profile carefully, giving you a soft squeeze, waiting for you to return the gesture – it was your thing. He did this when he was nervous (which was not often) and needed reassurance, but too shy to tell you the truth out loud.

“She’s, uh . . . a friend,” you explained, squeezing his hand, “From high school.”

“How come you never mentioned her?” he pressed on.

“She wasn’t ever really relevant in our conversations,” you replied softly, “And we weren’t that close really.”

“But close enough to be invited to her wedding – in a month,” Mingyu huffed, “That you didn’t tell me about.”

“I-I was going to tell you,” you stuttered, “Ask you – eventually. I just wasn’t sure how.”

Mingyu let out a half-hearted chuckle. “How hard could it be? You know I would happily go anywhere with you.”

You shrugged, jostling your linked hands. “Our . . . agreement, you know?”

Even though it’s been months since the two of you decided to keep your relationship fairly hidden, it still didn’t fail to send a sting through his heart. He tried to be understanding and respectful of your values of privacy, but Mingyu liked to love loud. Holding your hands at events with friends, kisses out on the sidewalk, and cute Instagram photos of the most seemingly boring things were beautiful to him.

“How much longer do we have to keep it this way though?” Mingyu asked quietly.

“Mingyu,” you started slowly.

“I mean, at this point, all our friends know, right?” he pressed on, cutting you off. You could hear the exasperation in his voice overtaking his thought process. “Seungkwan, Seokmin, Soonyoung . . . I told Josh and Chan recently, and today we met Younghee.”

“I know,” you muttered, “B-but . . . there are just . . . so many other people who’ll be at the wedding.”

“I don’t care about those other people,” Mingyu deadpanned.

“And if I do?”

At this point, the both of you had stopped walking, your hands still linked. Mingyu searched your face for an answer – anything, yet you always managed to stay so stoic somehow. In contrast to him who wore his heart on his sleeves and his current emotions written all over his expression, your heart was hidden in the folds of your jacket while an expressionless mask shielded your true feelings. It made you seemingly strong, but sometimes, for him, Mingyu wished you would let your guard down and tell him what was bothering you.

“Is this about that Taeyong guy?” Mingyu asked abruptly.

Your eyebrows ticked, furrowing together momentarily before they returned to their places. A small frown on your face, you corrected him, “Taehyung.”

“Taehyung, Taeyong – tomato, to-mah-to.”

“Why are you asking about Taehyung?”

Mingyu shrugged, “I . . . dunno – you seemed pretty shocked to hear his name again and I was wondering why.”

“He’s just a friend who Younghee and I grew up with.”

“You seem to have a lot of friends I don’t know about,” Mingyu mumbled.

“He was a neighbor from down the street and we went to school together, but he ended up going to a different university. I really mean it when I say I haven’t seen him since the first year of university,” you quickly summarized, hoping to calm his nerves. “Any other questions?”

Mingyu twisted his lips, glancing at the crack along the curb. “Who was he to you?”

“A friend,” you answered promptly.

“Anything more?”

You shook your head fervently. “Why are you so curious?”

“I mean, Younghee specifically mentioned him. Seokmin and Seungkwan went to high school with you too, but she didn’t talk about them going,” he shrugged like a child upset on the playground, “Frankly, I’m curious – perhaps, mildly jealous.”

“Mingyu,” you frowned. You leaned in and wrapped your arms around his waist. “Taehyung was just a good friend of ours and neither of us have really heard from or seen him in a while. We see the other two fairly regularly. I’m surprised Tae’s even coming back for this.”

“Tae?” Mingyu repeated. You’ve only ever shortened his own name – he assumed he was special.

“Gyu,” you scowled at him for latching onto the miniscule change in detail.

Mingyu gnawed on the inside of his cheek. He should give you the benefit of the doubt, right? It’s been years and if there was something between you and this Taehyung, it would’ve happened already. If you said you were friends, then you must’ve been. He had no reason to question you otherwise.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Mingyu nodded and stepped towards you, bringing his hands up to your waist too.

“Okay,” he relented. He peered up at you, “But . . . the wedding?”

“What about the wedding?”

“Are we . . .” his voice trailed off, hoping you’d finish the thought for him.

But your answer was something he didn’t want to hear.

“I, uh . . . I do want to go with you,” you stuttered, “A-as my plus one.”

Visibly, Mingyu’s eyes lit up.

“But, I’m not sure yet,” you finished, your voice soft followed by a shaky breath. “Let me think about it, hm?”

The light in his eyes dimmed as quickly as they came. "What is there to think about?"

"It might not seem like a big deal to you, but it's a big deal to me – just . . . Be patient, okay?"

The corner of his lips sagging, he nodded slowly. “Okay."

Because that’s all he could do right now.

Be okay with it.

. . . .

Leaning against the pillar of the front office, Seungkwan cocked a curious eyebrow at you as you walked in, yielding a red lunchbox that you weren’t holding before you left. A wolfish grin grew as you neared with your eyes wide, silently warning him to keep any snark comments he had to himself. It didn’t deter Seungkwan from teasing you, however – it never did, especially when it came to Mingyu. Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he jovially joined your side.

“Mingyu came by again, didn’t he, love?” Seungkwan asked, using the nickname, he’s heard Mingyu call you more than a thousand times at this point.

“Shut up,” you grumbled.

“He packed you lunch too?” Seungkwan pointed to the red lunchbox in your hand. “You guys are so domestic.”

“He didn’t – I just forgot it at home,” you tried to explain as you got onto the metal crate.

“Oh so he spent the night?” Seungkwan pondered aloud, hiding a chuckle behind his hand.

Aggressively punching the button reading ‘9’, you turned to your supposed friend and glared at him. “Boo Seungkwan if you know what’s good for you–”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Seungkwan let out a boisterous laugh as the elevator door closed. He wrapped his arms around your shoulder. “I just think it’s very cute to see you so in love – I feel like . . . a proud mother, that’s all.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to shake him off your shoulder as the elevator door opened. If there was one bad thing about working at the same company as your friend, it’s the constant teasing when you were trying to be serious. The two of you weaved around the hallway towards the lunchroom, engaging in a light conversation about your weekends.

“Younghee finally met Mingyu,” you announced when the two of you settled down at a lunch table.

“Oh yeah?” Seungkwan stuffed the egg salad sandwich in his mouth. “How’d it go?”

“You know Younghee,” you shrugged, “She was all ‘no shits’ and serious – her talk was worse than Soonyoung’s! I’m pretty sure she scared Mingyu.”

Seungkwan chortled, taking a quick swig of his sparkling water to wash down his food. “Sounds like Younghee.”

“He did well though,” you nodded, poking your chopsticks at your vegetables. “I think she likes him enough for now.”

“Is she the last friend you have to tell?” Seungkwan asked, knowing well about your decision to keep yours and Mingyu’s relationship a secret from the beginning.

You paused, letting the chopsticks that were halfway to your lips drop with a clatter against the container. Your mind reeled back to the part you left out of meeting with Younghee: Joohyun’s wedding and Taehyung.

“Younghee brought up Joohyun’s wedding,” you started, your voice suddenly growing soft.

“And?” Seungkwan pressed on. He was confused with your change in demeanor.

“I . . . hadn’t told Mingyu about it yet.”

“Oh,” Seungkwan puckered his lips.

That was kind of bad.

“Then Younghee said Taehyung was coming back to town for it.”

“Oh,” Seungkwan reiterated, as if it couldn’t get any worse. He remembered Taehyung very well.

“Yeah,” you muttered.

Silence ensued while you picked at your food. Seungkwan watched you carefully, questions about your situation spinning in his mind as they always have since you asked him, Seokmin, and Soonyoung to stay quiet about your relationship with Mingyu. Initially, the request to keep it a secret made sense: it was a new relationship, let alone with Mingyu. However, the two of you got along so well, it didn’t make sense for you to be insecure now. You telling Younghee was the final step to ending all of this, no? From Seungkwan’s point-of-view, all your dilemmas and inner turmoil could be solved with one simple solution.

Holding his sandwich up to his lips, Seungkwan let out a sigh and shook his head. He looked up at you, his round eyes narrowed in confusion. “I don’t get it – why don’t you want people to find out about you and Mingyu still?”

You chewed slowly on your rice, taking your time to grind each piece and swallow it down with a sip of ice water. Seungkwan refrained from eating his sandwich until you replied.

Your eyes flickered hesitantly up at him before they fell on your tray again. Bringing your fist to your lips, you faked a cough, clearing your throat of your food.

“Y/N,” Seungkwan said sternly.

“I-it’s . . . too early, okay?” you stuttered.

“You’ve been together for almost a year now,” he deadpanned.

“It’s only been seven months,” you corrected him.

“And?”

“Mingyu’s best relationship lasted six months and we just barely made it past that,” you explained, the pace at which words were flying out of your mouth was astronomical. “I just want to make sure it’s not just a honeymoon phase and our relationship works out okay before it . . . gets out there. I’m comfortable with our close friends knowing, but not the whole world and Mingyu knows quite literally, the whole world.”

“What do you mean?” Seungkwan scrunched up his nose. “He’s friendly, but he doesn’t know the whole world – you're exaggerating.”

You sighed heavily, slumping over on the lunch table. “Unlike me, he’s quite friendly and makes friends anywhere he goes – it could be a rock and he’d somehow make relations with it! His Instagram following is also insane for a regular, non-celeb person.”

Seungkwan frowned and shook his head. “And that matters because . . .?”

You suddenly felt small and bare – vulnerable in a place where you shouldn’t be so. For some reason, however, the small voice at the back of your head told you that maybe you should share this insecurity with someone – and perhaps that someone could also be Seungkwan. “Mingyu’s been in a lot of relationships before me and, uh, I just . . . don’t want to be another girl who dated Kim Mingyu.”

Seungkwan’s eyes soften at your response.

“Is that why you don’t want to post a picture with him on Instagram?”

“Partly,” you shrugged, “Research also shows that 67 percent of couples who post about their relationship consistently are insecure and about 45 percent of those social media couples break up.” You sucked in a sharp breath and lifted your eyes to meet Seungkwan’s gaze. “And as you know, Mingyu’s past relationships kind of . . . followed that trend.”

“Aaaww, my dear, Y/N,” Seungkwan cooed. He ruffled your hair lovingly. “You really think Mingyu is unsure of your guys’ relationship, so he needs to upload pictures to reinforce it?”

You swatted Seungkwan’s hand away and brushed your strands back into place. “Shut up,” you grumbled.

Seungkwan smiled at you apologetically, stars shining in his eyes. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“Love is a stretch,” you stammered, “But like? Yeah, um, I like him . . . a lot.”

“Honestly, Y/N,” Seungkwan took a bite of his sandwich, “I don’t think you need to worry about anything. You’re different.”

“What do you mean, different?”

“Different from the previous girls,” he replied with his full. He took a swig of his iced Americano to wash the food down. “He’s different with you.”

“As in . . .?”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes, shooting you a look of disbelief – as if you grew antennas from your head. “I guess it’s not fair to assume you’d know, but I’ve been around when Mingyu dated other people and I’m currently around while he’s dating you, and honestly? I hope he keeps dating you. Of course, getting engaged and marriage aside, but I’ve never seen him so . . . calm and sure before? I’m not sure if ‘sure’ is the right word, but there’s a sense of stability and content – maturity, maybe? I haven’t seen it before. Sure the other girls might have been prettier or more fun, and he squealed like a thirteen year-old girl getting tickets to a BTS concert after amusement park dates, but with you? He looks like he’s actually having fun cleaning with you.”

You tuned out as Seungkwan continued to ramble on. It was indeed nice to get an outsider’s perspective rather than being stuck in your own head. Your friend was probably right, and you were being irrational. But that’s what fear did to you. Mingyu was understanding and you know if you brought it up eventually, he’d be more than willing to listen and reassure you to the world's end. There was a piece of you that still hesitated, nonetheless. What if he got mad at you?

“If you’re that worried about it, I’d just bring it up to Mingyu – he’s understanding and has a good head on his shoulders,” Seungkwan finally finished ou.

Stuffing your cheeks with rice, you gave Seungkwan a small nod. “I’ll think about it.”

. . . .

[unknown number]: hey

[unknown number]: this is tae :)

[unknown number]: kim taehyung from high school if you remember me haha

[unknown number]: younghee gave me your new number – i hope you don’t mind:)

[unknown number]: i just wanted to say hello and see if you were free to meet up?

A warm mug of coffee in his hand, Mingyu paused and stared blankly at your phone as each new message from Taehyung flashed across your screen. He frowned, tightening his abdomen as if it would do anything to control the nerves swirling in the pits of his stomach right now. Baseless thoughts flooding his mind, he failed to hear your padded footsteps behind him.

“Whatcha doing, Gyu?” you asked, reaching for your coat.

Swiftly, he turned around and smiled at you, though it didn't reach his eyes like most times.

“Ready?” Mingyu asked, avoiding your question.

He didn’t miss the way the space between your brows dipped slightly at him avoiding your question. You chose not to hound him on it, however.

“Yeah,” you untucked your hair from the collar and reached for your phone.

Holding his breath, Mingyu watched you carefully as you swiped at the screen. His heart sank a little when the little smile on your face formed at the new messages from an old friend. It was the smile he pictured you would have every time he sent you something.

Tugging on the arm of his jacket, Mingyu asked softly, “Who’s got smiling like that?”

You stopped in the middle of tapping away at a new message to Taehyung. You pulled your lips into a slight pout. “Like what?”

Mingyu waved his hand at your face before tucking them into his pockets. “Like that – the small one where you’re incredibly happy but you’re nervous to show it.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, clicking off your phone and dropping it into your purse instead. You extended a hand for him to take. “Only you Mingyu.”

“You sure?”

“With my whole heart.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me it was Taehyung messaging you?” Mingyu muttered.

It was now your turn to frown. You didn’t have anything to hide from him nor was it the idea that he was snooping at your texts that made you upset. It was the fact that he was withholding his feelings from you. He was upset, jealous maybe, and he didn’t want to tell you.

“Gyu – are you still hung up on that?” you asked.

His gaze drifted to your hands. He rubbed small circles into the back of your skin, opting not to answer.

Gently, you pulled your hands from him and moved up to cup his cheeks instead, forcing him to look at you. He stared at you reluctantly with his puppy-like eyes.

“He’s just a friend, Gyu,” you reminded him, “No one’s taking me away from you.”

Mingyu gulped, scared. You’ve never been quite this certain with your words before. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Wrapping his fingers around your own, he pulled them off his face, lacing them together in the space between you. He took note of the new coat of baby pink nail polish on your fingertips. Silently, he brushed the rough pads of his fingers over them – they were calloused from the barbells at the gym.

If you told him not to worry, there was no use in worrying, right?

You loved him and he loved you.

“Okay,” Mingyu finally relented.

“Let’s go get those groceries now, hm?” you hummed, tightening your fingers around his.

He nodded, his heart swelling once more. It was simple, grocery shopping, but it was in the ordinary things like this that were all the more precious because they were with you.

. . . .

“Kim Taehyung?” Seokmin sits back, wracking his brain for a mental image of the man.

Despite your reassurance, Mingyu was growing skeptical – more of Taehyung’s intention than he was of you. These past few days, you had been texting Taehyung non-stop and it was making Mingyu nervous. Your giggles were becoming more frequent and whenever Mingyu asked, it was always “back in high school Taehyung and I did this” or “Taehyung just said the funniest thing” when it wasn’t even that funny.

It was bearable until it wasn’t.

When you broke the news to him yesterday that you had agreed to meet up over coffee with Taehyung, it really pressed Mingyu into acceleration mode – nearly veering off a cliff.

Was Mingyu worried that you would intentionally cheat on him? Absolutely not – you loved him and it showed enough. You were just happy to see your childhood friend again. Admittedly, the two of you did have some pretty bizarre memories. The story of when Taehyung got Hot Tamales stuck in his nose in detention was quite entertaining – Mingyu choked on his salad at that one.

Was Mingyu worried that Taehyung might try to pull something funny and sweep you up from under his nose? Absolutely. You were smart, pretty, shy, but outgoing enough. You had a charm to you that was attractive and alluring. Not to mention, Mingyu has done his research (read: Instagram stalking) and Taehyung was undeniably gorgeous. His aesthetic was classy and sophisticated, sprinkled in with a touch of goofiness.

He definitely seemed to be “your type” – Taehyung was every girls’ dream type: a handsome gentleman with a touch of humor.

Hell, even Mingyu almost fell for the man.

Hence why today, Mingyu recruited the help of Seokmin to prevent you from falling for Taehyung and Taehyung from falling for you.

In an attempt to help jog Seokmin’s, Mingyu slipped his phone across the table, the screen displaying Taehyung’s Instagram page. Seokmin narrows his eyes curiously at his friend and reaches over for the phone, slowly scrolling through the pictures. As he gets further and further down, you could see the epiphany forming on Seokmin’s face.

“This Kim Taehyung!” Seokmin screeched. He snapped and pointed at Mingyu. The latter winced back in confusion at his friend’s sudden excitement. Hands clasped tightly over Mingyu’s phone, Seokmin leaned over the table as if he had a secret to share with Mingyu. “Taehyung from high school – yes, I remember him. He hung out with Y/N – and so Younghee by default too, a lot. I thought it was a little weird at first, but didn’t think much of it since they just seemed like good friends and he was a nice kid! He grew up on the outskirts of town, kinda grubby, to be honest, but very sweet and goofy – shy too.”

Seokmin wiggled his eyebrows as if he had the hottest tea to spill. “But,” he dragged out, “Senior year at someone’s graduation party, we found out he did actually have a crush on Y/N!”

Seokmin glances down at the pictures again, his eyes latching on a black and white photo of Taehyung staring mysteriously into the camera, a hand placed teasingly by his temple. His forearms were ripped. Seokmin shook his head in amazement, letting out a shocked groan. “Wah, I can’t believe he grew up to look like this! He’s gorgeous! Almost identical to V of BTS!”

Eyes downcast on the chipped mahogany table, Mingyu couldn’t help but frown at Seokmin’s reaction. If his friend was this excited and shocked to see Taehyung again, how would you react? Let alone, knowing the two of you were close friends too.

Seokmin finally took the hint when Mingyu remained quiet, calming down from his marvel. “I mean,” Seokmin coughed, thumbing through Taehyung’s profile some more, “He’s not that handsome – nothing compared to you Mingyu. You’re much better looking than him.” He stopped at a photo of Sesame plushies lined up on the couch. “I mean look at this – he likes stuffed animals like a kid!”

“Seok,” Mingyu deadpanned.

Seokmin shrugged back, mumbling a soft apology. He cleared his throat. “Okay, um, well, why are you asking if I know him?”

“Y/N’s meeting up with him tomorrow,” Mingyu explained.

“Aahhh,” Seokmin nodded slowly, starting to put the puzzle pieces together. “You’re nervous she’s gonna fall for him, aren’t you?”

Mingyu’s eyes flickered up timorously at him then downcast at his fingers.

“Eeeyy,” Seokmin dragged out, “Have a little faith in Y/N? She’s whipped for you even if she holds back a little.”

Mingyu frowned even at Seokmin.

“Okay, well maybe not a little – she holds back a lot, but she’s just nervous, okay?” Seokmin tried to reassure him.

“About what? I try my best to remind her she’s the only apple of my eye every day,” Mingyu pouted.

“I mean, I would be scared too if I was dating you,” Seokmin noted.

Mingyu furrowed his brows at Seokmin, wondering what his friend was getting at. However, that wasn’t the purpose of this meeting though. He had to get to the main point – it was easy to get caught up in tangents with Seokmin.

“I need you to help me tomorrow,” Mingyu started again.

“Huh?” Seokmin frowned.

“I’m gonna follow Y/N and Taehyung to their coffee thing tomorrow,” Mingyu told him, “Make sure he doesn’t pull any funny moves on her.”

“Mingyu, don’t you think that’s a little –”

Mingyu sighed heavily, cutting off his friend. “I . . . just want to make sure, Seok,” he fumbled with his thumbs. “I . . . really like Y/N – like really, really, really like her.”

“So you . . . love . . . her?”

“I . . . think so,” Mingyu pressed his lips into a thin line. “I just . . . don’t want her to slip out of my grasp.”

MIngyu looked like a kicked puppy, his eyes literally sagging at the thought of losing you. The sad expression on Mingyu’s face tugged at Seokmin’s heartstrings (granted, he cried very easily, but still). What's worse could happen if he just lets Mingyu follow you this once? Mingyu would only be reassured because Seokmin was sure you wouldn’t swoon so easily for Taehyung. If you had, you wouldn’t be here with Mingyu all these years later.

“Fine,” Seokmin sighed. “Whatchu got for disguises?”

. . . .

Detective trench coats, sunglasses, and a fake mustache.

Very original.

Seokmin rolled his eyes behind his Ray Ban sunglasses as Mingyu looked not very covertly over his menu, craning his neck to get a better look at you and Taehyung. A bell of laughter erupted from yours and Taehyung’s table. You threw your head back, covering your fabulous smile with the back of your hand.

“Can you hear what they’re talking about?” Mingyu whispered. “What’s so funny?”

“Mingyu,” Seokmin tugged at the fake mustache that his friend made him wear. Fuck, it was itchy. “You’re being ridiculous – why would we be able to hear what they’re saying? We’re literally on the opposite end of the cafe!”

“Am not!” Mingyu pouted. “You just need to listen better.”

“They’re literally just laughing like old friends,” Seokmin peeled the mustache off, wincing in pain as it tugged at his upper lip. “Mingyu, when you said we were following them, I thought you meant just standing from afar to make sure Tae doesn’t put his hand on her ass or something.”

Seokmin had expected his friend to protest in return, but Mingyu just remained silent. Through the sides of his shades, Seokmin could make out his hardened gaze was hardened on you and Taehyung. You were leaning over the table while Taehyung held up his cell phone aimed at the two of you. Seokmin presumed he was just taking a selfie. Your pink-glossed lips were spread wide in a happy grin, Taehyung holding up a playful peace sign. Why was Mingyu so upset?

“Uh, Mingyu?” Seokmin called.

Still no answer.

The moment Taehyung set down his phone, swiping at his screen, Mingyu whipped out his own device. He quickly logged into Instagram and typed in ‘thv’, pulling up Taehyung’s page.

“Mingyu –”

Aggressively, Mingyu pulled the toggle down to refresh the page. He did it again and again, until a new photo popped up in the upper left corner.

‘Reunited </3,’ the caption read under a photo of you and Taehyung he had taken just moments ago.

That was the last straw for Mingyu. Aggressively, he got up from his chair, nearly toppling it over. He ripped off his sunglasses and started walking – stomping, towards your table.

“Oh – oh my god, Mingyu! Stop!” Seokmin hissed as he lunged forward. Mingyu’s pace was a tad too fast for Seokmin, his fingers barely grazing against his coat. Before Seokmin knew it, they were both standing at the foot of your table and you were blankly staring up at Mingyu.

Taehyung peered up innocently, his face lighting up when he saw Seokmin.

“Seokmin!” Taehyung called cheerfully.

“H-hi!” Seokmin laughed nervously. He punched Mingyu’s shoulder, but his gaze was hard and set on you.

Taehyung looked back to you, then Mingyu, and back at you. He figured half as much as you and the tall, handsome man were acquainted with one another.

“Who’s this?” Taehyung asked curiously. He brushed his wavy bangs out his eyes, tucking hand into his pocket. A gentle smile on his face, his eyes scanned your boyfriend up and down, oblivious to the daggers Mingyu was sending his way.

“This is . . . Mingyu,” you explained hesitantly. It was as if time was moving through viscous honey, all eyes on you waiting for a further explanation beyond his name. Yet in this moment, all you could see was the man who’s name just slipped from your mouth. Usually, it tasted like cotton candy, but the shift from envy to desperation in his eyes as he anxiously gnawed at the inside of his cheek, waiting for you to tell them the truth, the taste of iron spreading across your tongue.

“He’s . . . a good friend,” you finished, your voice soft.

And that was the final nail in the coffin.

“Oh!” Taehyung chuckled innocently, already extending a hand towards Mingyu. “We’re the same. I’m Taehyung, Kim Taehyung – also a friend of Y/N’s. Nice to meet you!”

Silence, then a beat. Only the chatter of the other customers and the hissing of the espresso machine filled the air.

Mingyu pressed his lips into a thin line, clearing his throat and offered Taehyung a tight smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Taehyung.”

“Do you guys want to sit with us?” Taehyung offered, moving his Boston bag from the chair next to him, already making room for the two. “We were just about to order.”

Mingyu chortled half-heartedly and shook his head. “Thank you, but we should be on our way. Just . . . stopped to say ‘hello.’” Mingyu’s eyes flickered to you once more. “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

And with that, Mingyu was gone.

. . . .

Coffee with Taehyung was anything, but fun after Mingyu and Seokmin’s departure. As much as you tried to stay engaged and keep up with his stories about traveling across Europe with his new job, it was clear your mind was elsewhere. You were on edge, eyes flitting to your watch every five minutes, your fingers tapping at your phone screen every chance you got to see if you got any messages from Mingyu (spoiler: you didn’t). It was Taehyung who cut the hangout short. He knew something wasn’t quite right between you and your so-called “friend,” but was a polite man and pretended not to notice. Taehyung fibbed and told you he had forgotten he had a meeting to attend instead.

After bidding him goodbye, you sped walk back to the safety of your apartment, already rehearsing in your mind what you would say to Mingyu when you call him later. You paid no mind to the fact that his car was parked in the guest lot. Nor did you bother to listen to Mrs. Lee who worked the front desk, when she tried to tell you she saw Mingyu coming in earlier, only offering her a brisk nod.

Hence, when you finally opened the door to your safe haven and let out a deep breath, pressing your body against the silver handle, you didn’t expect the familiar sound of Mingyu clearing his throat.

Your eyes shot up to find him sitting at your kitchen island, his elbows propped up on the table. The trench coat he was sporting earlier was draped over the chair next to him, suggesting he immediately came to your apartment after leaving the cafe. He had a key to your place after all.

Your breath hitched in your throat, unsure of what to say. You knew you had fucked up introducing him as a friend to Taehyung, but your thoughts were jumbled and you couldn’t dare face him now. All you had prepared earlier vanished from your brain.

You had to move (and think) fast as Mingyu was already making his way towards you, getting out of his chair. You pushed yourself off the door, preparing yourself to walk past him and drop your stuff off in room in an effort to give yourself a little more time to think. You should've known better that Mingyu would never let you make it that far though – not with this large of an elephant in the room.

Mingyu stood 187 centimeters tall and showed in his reach as his hand latched onto your bicep, stopping you abruptly in your tracks. His head turned robotically towards you, staring holes into your head. You could see in the side of your eye, the hurt in his face, silently begging you to say something.

Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply before you spoke. "Can we not –"

"No," he said softly.

“Mingyu–”

“No,” Mingyu stated more firmly this time. His voice was loud and commanding, taking you by surprise. He’s never raised his voice at you before. You caught sight of his grip on the edges of the granite counter; he was holding so tight, his knuckles grew white.

“We’re not going to wait anymore – we’re talking about this now,” Mingyu continued. He took note of your stunned expression. “I’m tired and this is wearing on me, Y/N; I’m not sure how much of it I can take, but I also know I don’t want to lose you over something that could’ve been easily solved if we were just . . . honest about our feelings. I truly want this,” he waves his finger between the two of you, “to work . . . So please."

You gnawed the inside of your cheek, staring into his sharp dark brown eyes. You weren't used to them filled with so much sorrow and anger, and it pained you knowing you were the cause of it. As much as you were afraid of the dark path where this conversation may lead, you also knew it needed to be had if you wanted your relationship with Mingyu to progress – and you did.

With a heavy sigh, eyes downcasted on Mingyu’s hand on your arm, and nodded, silently agreeing to talk this through. His hand slipped down the expanse of your arm and laced his fingers with yours. His grip, but even in trying times, he held your hand ever so tenderly – because this was Kim Mingyu: unshakeable, yet soft hearted.

“Where do you want to start?” you asked quietly as the two of you settled onto your blue couch. He still hadn’t let go of your hand.

Swallowing harshly, you could see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Are you ashamed of me . . .? Of dating me?”

Your heart sank; though his words were minimal, the look in his eyes was deep. That was the thing about Mingyu. Perhaps he never cried in front of you (or anyone for that matter) and he never got outright angry, but one look in his eyes and they were a dead give away about the feelings swirling in his heart and the thoughts tumbling in his mind. Right now, his eyes told you heart was bruised and his mind was confused and set on one thing only: you.

“It’s not that Mingyu,” you muttered. You could feel your airway tightening, your esophagus growing stiff. It was getting hard to even swallow your own saliva.

“Then what is it?” Mingyu asked impatiently, “Why is it that you didn’t tell anyone outside of our mutual friends about our relationship? Why did you wait seven months to tell Younghee? Why did you introduce me as “a good friend” to Taehyung? Why can’t I post pictures of you, of us, on my Instagram, but Taehyung can?”

There was a long pause before you spoke again. It only grew harder for Mingyu every ticking second, he could feel an uncomfortable warmth spreading across his chest, threatening to boil over.

“I’m scared,” you replied in a small voice. If it hadn’t been dead silent, Mingyu probably wouldn’t have heard you.

“What?” Mingyu frowned. “What are you afraid of?”

“This,” you shook his hand, gesturing between the two of you. “Us. You and me. I’m . . . like, it’s too good to be true --you're too good to be true. And it's not even because you're handsome or whatever, Mingyu. It's your patience and consideration. It's your willingness to drop everything for the people you love. Do you remember that time Seungkwan got a flat tire? You had a big presentation at work, but rescheduled it and left early to go help him. You love so . . . so openly and loudly, not just through words.

"Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve you? I’m scared that it’s all a dream and tomorrow when I wake up, you’ll be gone. I’m afraid that I’ll grow too attached – fuck, I'm probably already in too deep, and when we don't work out, it'll hurt more than it needs to.”

Mingyu sucked in a sharp breath, nodding slowly as he digested your confession. So this is what Seokmin must’ve meant when he said he would be nervous too if he was you. Truthfully, it was hurtful to hear all of this, but not necessarily irrational. Mingyu too thought you were too good to be true – all his past relationships were rather vain, ending because he wasn’t who they had dreamed him to be. They found his love for architecture boring and when he couldn’t meet their expectations of extravagant dates, they pouted until Mingyu came running with flowers and chocolates. It got tiring - fast.

However, the difference was in that Mingyu trusted the process and let himself grow attached to you. Never mind the thoughts of no longer having you by his side while taking Sunday morning strolls or staying up until 4AM on Friday nights because you both thought it would be a good idea to try the Starbucks PSL at 8PM. He lived in the moment, and while this didn’t mean he didn’t think about a future with you, he wanted to relish in all phases of being in love with you. What hurt him was the fact that you harbored all these feelings to yourself, not trusting him to understand your emotions and insecurities.

"And is that why you want to keep us a secret? Because you're scared I'm going to leave you?" Mingyu finally asked.

"It’s not . . . Completely baseless," you muttered, looking away from him.

"Then tell me more."

"It’s stupid."

"I'm sure it's not." He raised his eyebrows at you, silently warning you not to be stubborn but also reassuring you that he just wanted you to be heard. He knew how stuck in your head you could get when you were overcritical of yourself.

"When . . . we were in university, I followed you on Instagram because you know,” you shrugged, picking through your mind to find the right words. “And I saw all the girls you dated and how . . . they didn't last.

“And one day, I was doing some light reading on Pledis Times and there was a study that talked about couples on social media . . . How they felt insecure and overcompensated with photos and videos of each other . . . And ultimately, most of them broke up. I, um . . . as much as I lo– I mean like you, I feared that the louder we were about ‘us,’ I’d just end up being ‘just another girl’ who dated Mingyu.”

It was nothing to be shameful of, yet, your cheeks burned. You couldn’t bear to look at him. As the silence between you grew louder, the urge to flee to the sanctuary of your room became overwhelming. You squirmed in your seat, inching away from him.

“Love,” Mingyu chortled. You felt him give your hands a squeeze in an attempt to stop you from moving.

“I told you it was stupid,” you muttered.

Rather than replying to you with words, however, Mingyu leaned over and captured your lips instead. He pressed against you with just enough pressure to reassure that you were his whole world, but not enough to scare you off. The kiss was firm, but tender – like Mingyu.

When he pulled away, an apology spilled from your lips as if on instinct. You weren’t sure why but you felt you owed him one. Mingyu shook his head slowly as rested his forehead against yours, while his fingers played with the loose ends of your hair.

“You don’t need to be sorry for your own feelings,” Mingyu said.

“I ended up hurting you though,” you whimpered.

Tucking your head under his chin, he hummed. “I think I’m more hurt by the fact that you didn’t tell me you were feeling this way. I just assumed you just wanted to keep things under wraps because we were a ‘new thing’ and wanted to take things slow.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled again.

“It must’ve been hard, hm?” Mingyu noted as he stroked the crown of your head. “I don’t know what else I need to do, but trust that I’m utterly heads over heels about you, alright? If you need me to tell you every day until you believe me, I will.” he tugged your hand out of your lap and placed it over his heart. There was a fast, but rhythmic thump.

”You feel that?” he asked.

You chortled softly. “Mingyu, I think I know where you’re going with this and it’s kind of corny.”

“I don’t care – you’re the only girl who has made me feel this way. The sight of you excites me, but it all feels . . . right. I’m scared, but I’m reassured things will fall into place in due time.”

You curled your fingers around his heart, letting his voice vibrate from his chest and flow into your ears melodically.

“As unreal as I seem to you, you are equally a dream I don’t want to fade either,” Mingyu continued to explain. “No one has ever sat patiently and listened to me ramble about cameras for two hours, let alone when you don’t know the first thing about photography. You match my ‘grandpa’ energy, willingly going on hikes with me on the trails hours away from the city to keep me company. Heck, you didn’t even blink twice when I accidentally sneezed on you or scratched my ass in front of you during the first month we dated.”

“Gyu,” you chuckled, burying your face into his chest.

He kissed the crown of your head. You could feel smiling into your hair. “Instagram, old girlfriends, old boyfriends–”

“Taehyung was a childhood friend,” you remarked.

“Old childhood friends,” Mingyu corrected himself, “And statistical data aside, it sounds like we’re both scared – and that’s not a bad thing, okay? It means we both care deeply about this relationship and neither of us would let it slip away so easily. That said, I also don’t want that fear getting in between us. I love you and I trust you – I could only hope you feel the same for me.”

And for the first time in your relationship, you decided you wanted to be strong for Mingyu – you needed to be. Too long you’ve locked away your feelings and let them run how you act around him with others. Rather than hiding away in his embrace and kissing him in secret, perhaps it was your time to love him just as loudly as he has loved you all this time.

Rising from his chest, you peered up at him through your lashes. There was nothing but adoration for you gracing his face, patiently waiting for you to say something.

“I do,” you replied hesitantly, “I . . . love you and I trust you too, and I’m sorry if I’ve struggled to show it, but I’ll be braver – I’ll change.”

“I don’t want you to change,” Mingyu cupped your cheeks, squishing them together. “I love you for you, and If you don’t want to be vocal about it, we don’t have to.”

You pushed his hands away and pecked his lips, shaking your head. “I want to – no more hiding. Let your 14.5K Instagram followers know that I’m utterly head over heels for you, Kim Mingyu.”

He grinned from ear to ear, his cheeks puffing up like marshmallows. He leaned over and gave you another breathtaking, yet simple kiss. How he was so relieved to be able to show you to the world.

“I have a lot of pictures to choose from, you know?”

. . . .

Joohyun’s wedding was a success – the blizzard outside and blustery wind seeping through the windows aside. Her and her new husband’s wedding photos were going to be absolutely stunning with all the winter white snow though, Mingyu had whispered to you during the ceremony. Bellies full of chicken and mashed potatoes, garters and bouquets tossed to all the single people, the reception was finally getting started. The DJ played bopped to the upbeat dance music, people starting to stream in and join the bride and groom.

Mingyu had an arm thrown over your shoulder, his hand resting on the head of your chair. Arms crossed, you leaned into his chest and watched your friends sing and dance happily to Tao Cruz's Dynamite. You had that smile on your face that Mingyu adored so much – the small one where you knew you were incredibly happy, but afraid to show too much of it.

Mingyu watched the crowd while pointing out funny occurrences on the dance floor. Soonyoung getting top excited and wrapping his tie around his forehead. Chan and Seungkwan were krumping in the corner as a small crowd formed around them. They both backed away when Seulgi pushed between them, however, a round of "oohs" and "ahhs" at her sharp and playful dance moves.

"Hello, Y/N," a familiar voice called from afar. Your attention turned to the source of the voice, your face spreading into a grin at the sight of Taehyung weaving through the tables. Though Mingyu knew he was ultimately no threat, he couldn’t help but stiffen at the presence of the other man.

Taehyung tipped his head in Mingyu’s direction. "Y'N's good friend," he teased, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Tae," you greeted him with an eye roll, "How's the party going for you?"

"Splendid," he tucked his hand into his pants pocket. "Got myself a nice cocktail earlier, caught up with Younghee, and even caught myself a garter," he pulled out the thing and waved it in the air.

"Gross," you chuckled.

He winked at you playfully and tilted his head at the dance floor. "What do you say, old friend? Wanna dance? Make it up to me when you went with Seokjin to prom instead?"

Instinctively, Mingyu found himself wrapping a hand around your waist, tugging you protectively into his side. Taehyung took note of this. "Your good friend is rather possessive."

You gave Mingyu a warning look, gently pushing his hand off your abdomen. You gave him a reassuring squeeze in an attempt to calm his nerves. "Mingyu’s actually my boyfriend."

Taehyung nodded. "I figured when he looked like he was ready to take me out at the cafe," he clicked his tongue against his teeth. He laughed at the sheepish look that crossed Mingyu's face. "It was worth a shot though," he shrugged, "In all seriousness, I'm happy for you, Y/N. He seems to like you a lot."

"Thank you," you turned and peered at him shyly through your lashes. Mingyu took it as a cue to press his lips against your temple.

"Alright, alright," Taehyung waved you off, shielding his eyes. "I'm gonna leave you lovebirds alone," he pointed at pretty blonde in a silk spring green gown sitting in the corner, her eyes wandering the venue. "I'm gonna go shoot my shot over there."

"Sure thing, buddy," you giggled.

He gave you both one last wave of goodbye. "The next wedding I see you at, it better be yours!"

"You caught the garter, Tae!" you shot back.

He gave you both one last boxy grin before he turned his back to you. Immediately, Mingyu let out a brisk 'tsk'.

"I like him, but he sure knows how to push my buttons," Mingyu huffed.

"It’s Tae," you giggled watching your friend approach the girl. She blushed when Tae extended a hand. "He teases a lot – it's his thing."

"Ladies and gentlemen, why don't we slow it down for the night?" The DJ tapped into his mic and announced, not giving Mingyu a chance to pout further. The gentle strumming of the guitar in Ed Sheeran’s ‘Photograph’ filled every corner of the room.

Mingyu brushed his lips gently against your cheek. His hot breath hit your skin as he asked, “If you won’t dance with Tae, will you dance with me?”

You rolled your eyes as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Your hand was already reaching for his own, leading him to the dance floor. Not letting go of him, you spun around to rest your free hand around his neck. The two of you settled into a gentle sway, Mingyu holding you by your waist and guiding you through the waltz. He grinned at you, his canines peeking out. Even under the dim lighting, his sharp eyes twinkled with fondness. Your face reflected his joy, the small smile spreading into something bigger.

You loved him and he loved you, there was no denying it.

“Bro,” Seungkwan sipped on his drink, nudging Seokmin. He pointed at you and Mingyu on the dance floor. Seokmin grinned widely, fishing for his phone in his pocket. He aimed his camera at the two of you, zooming in and adjusting the lighting to best capture all your features in the photo.

“They’re so in love, I’m kind of regretting introducing them to each other,” Seungkwan grimaced, swallowing down the bitter taste of his alcohol.

Seokmin slapped his arm. “Don’t say that – they look cute.”

Seungkwan leaned over and peeked at the photos on his friend’s phone. He nodded in approval at the one that captured your grin over Mingyu’s shoulder, your dress swirling at your calves very prettily.

“Post that one to the ‘gram,” Seungkwan chuckled.

“Ew, don’t say that,” Seokmin looked at him scornfully. “You sound like an old fart.”

“They’ll thank me later,” Seungkwan shrugged.

Even after your intervention, neither you nor Mingyu had posted anything onto the web to suggest that you were dating to your followers – not that it was a big deal to either of you at this point. If a good photo comes up, you would. It was just not on the forefront of your mind anymore and the both of you had been too busy to look through Mingyu’s gallery.

Seungkwan figured, if you guys wouldn’t be loud about your relationship, he would – it was the least he could do to support the Mingyu-Y/N agenda.

Nonetheless, it didn’t take an Instagram post to know you were mad about one another.

Without words, pictures, or even a peep of your voices, Kim Mingyu loved you loud enough and you loved him, equally as clear.

#mingyu x reader #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu crack #kim mingyu #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #seventeen crack

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youn9racha · 2 years

Text

URMUSE.COM

pairing: sex worker!chan x afab client!reader

genre: smut

synopsis: your friends pity you for your lack of sex life and constant sexual frustration, so one of them offered a program where one could possibly make your fantasy a reality.

warning/disclaimer: chan is referred to as chris/christopher, mentions of sex work, "anonymous"/masked sex, piv, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), whiny and shy sub!chan, insecure dom!reader, slight auralism/voice kink, oral sex, restraints, slight cum play, mentions of dacryphilia and cnc, edging, discussions of safe words (but not used), mentions of poly!minho and open relationships, labels (mistress/pup/good boy/etc.), praise, some cock slapping, felix being a flirt, reader goes by she/her, straight up porn with a little bit of a plot (but not really).

words: 5.5k

a/n: heavily inspired by that one thought i had and also @h0neydewmoon encouraged me with this filth so that’s that. i haven’t written straight up pwp in a bit, i didn’t really intend to make another chan smut (especially since most my work is chan related) but here we are once again. also, i'm sorry if there are some inaccuracies to anything when it comes to subjects of sex work. i tried my best to research, but if there's any inaccuracy, please respectfully call me out on it and i'll fix it up, but otherwise this is fictional so hope thats okay🙏🙏

taglist: @ethereallino, @h0neydewmoon, @lix-ables, @nightlychans

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

The nightlife was soaring outside your apartment complex, you could almost hear the techno music blaring outside as the active night parties illuminates the futuristic city you live in. Skyscrapers project exciting ads and trailers mixing with the sounds of laughs and singing livened the city. It wasn’t like there was a holiday or anything of that sort, it was a regular weekend for everyone—it’s commonly known as the nights of the youngs as proclaimed by the party locals.

but you couldn’t be bothered to participate the night, unfortunately, as you sigh away your misery on Hyunjin’s thighs as you vent about your sex life, while your other friend, Minho, and Hyunjin just nod at your frustration as they listen attentively to you. You weren’t necessarily a prude or a virgin; you just happened to have bad luck when it comes to hooking up. It is ironic how you live in the city of parties yet have no game in the hooking up scene.

It wasn’t that you were against it, or afraid of people; you were merely scared of your fantasies and the judgments you would get. You never really had the safest concept in terms of what happens in the bedrooms, and you almost always happen to stay behind the rails to not scare away whoever your sex partner is. While you acknowledge that you don’t live in an era where expressing yourself was a sin, you still must be cautious about certain triggers one could have.

Minho and Hyunjin were very understanding and often try to let you know that there’s nothing with expressing yourself, but you were still very shy and maintained a shell tough to crack.

“How about we do it for you? I’m sure Hyunjin’s down for a threesome,” Minho once commented making you cringe at his statement and Hyunjin just widened his eyes at him shocked at the abrupt comment. You could never see yourself in that situation. Yes, the two men are good-looking and are—in your humble opinion—fuckable men for a lack of a better word, but you still can’t put yourself in friends with benefits situation with either.

And even if you didn’t care for that situation and the offer was up, it wasn’t like it’s going to do you any solid because Minho was in a committed relationship, and you weren’t about to be a homewrecker of a friend, meanwhile, Hyunjin was sort of “holding himself back” or whatever that meant. Either way, you wouldn’t take either in a heartbeat, no matter how desperate you may be; like how you are right now.

“(y/n), there is many fish in the sea who are willing to go through whatever kinks you’re into,” Minho said, speaking as if he was stating a common fact, while Hyunjin agrees as he twirls your hair, “yeah, you’re also really attractive, I feel like anyone would give you a pass,” Hyunjin adds.

You shook your head, “no, I can’t, I’m scared to make one freak out from my elaborate fantasies.”

“C’mon, I bet they’re not bad,” Hyunjin said, you got up and looked up at Hyunjin, “would you fuck someone to the point they’d start tearing up and telling you to stop but you still carry on either way because their helpless cries turn you on?”

Hyunjin just widened his eyes, attempting to process your questions as he stumbles and huffs out an answer.

“I would,” Minho affirms.

“You have a partner, Lino.” You grumbled, throwing your head back.

“So?” Minho crosses his arms, “we don’t mind having a plus one if you get my drift.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll find someone.” Hyunjin side-eyed Minho, before proceeding to comfort you. Minho could only knit his eyebrows at the two of you as he sits there uncertain before rolling his eyes, “alright fine, I actually have something that could help you two, but since you two—”

“Minho, no one’s interested in joining your open relationship,” Hyunjin argued back, while you face palmed yourself, knowing the headache that may come with the upcoming altercation that will ensue. Minho retorted back at Hyunjin and insisted that it wasn’t about his relationship, and this time he sounded more serious than previously.

“It’s this place called URMUSE. It’s where you basically fill out a form and you tell them what you like and then they book a room for you there to live out your fantasy with your desired ‘muse’. It’s like Disney world but for grown-ups.”

Hyunjin’s cringed-out expression deepened, thinking you’d react the same, but unbeknownst to him, you were slightly intrigued, hoping he’d carry further on with information. You never would have thought you’d resort to that level, but desperate calls call for desperate measures as one would say.

“Really, Minho? First off, never call a place like that ‘Disney world’ again. And second, you really think (y/n) would actually—”

“How do I get the reservation?” You interrupted Hyunjin, making the man astonished by your choice of interest.

Hyunjin knew you longer than Minho did, but to say you’d be down to go to a sex worker was a surprise to him, even Minho was slightly taken aback by your excitement—although he didn’t mind it. Hyunjin however was rather baffled by your abruption. It wasn’t that you were against the whole sex work thing, it was just not something you don’t about often, and you three knew this. But you were really desperate to let your demons, and what better way to take out your sexual frustration is on someone who’s an expert with these things?

“(y/n), are you serious?” Hyunjin asked, and you nodded at him, “yes, Hyunjin, I’m grown, I can make my decision.” With that, Hyunjin closed his open mouth, as if he wanted to say something but went against it before turning to his other friend.

“Now can you tell me more about the site?”

It had been a week since that encounter with Minho and Hyunjin and your mind is still at war on whether going to the site and getting a ‘muse’ was a good idea or not. While you were excited and up for it at first, you still drew yourself back as your self-doubts began acting up again. What if this place didn’t provide what you asked? What if it was a time and money waster and didn’t live up to your expectation? What if Minho is actually dragging you into a sex cult and you didn’t know?

The last question was farfetched, sure, but you wouldn’t know. You hate how you had to question everything and place yourself in a shell when it comes to sexual expression. You knew you weren’t going to get judged, but your mind constantly plays with your head with topics like this, by convincing you that you were a freak and a maniac for enjoying what you’re enjoying.

“Why would anyone like to get tied up or tying someone up? That’s some kidnapper shit,” your brain constantly teases you. But you knew you weren’t, you hear Minho’s experience with his partner—or partners—and Hyunjin’s past sexual experiences, and you couldn’t help but secretly get jealous of your friends for being carefree about their needs. Sure, they’re both men, and oftentimes nobody will bat an eyelash if a man expresses any sexual needs, but there is no time for commentary on this matter—you want to be railed or rail someone.

You sighed as you opened your computer and started to type away on your search engine, you muttered to yourself what you were typing and opened the first link that popped up.

“URMUSE—THE PLACE WHERE ALL YOUR FANTASIES COME TRUE!”

What an eerie welcome, you thought to yourself as you read the slogan. You scrolled away and inspected their whole site. You thought that the site was legit; it had easy-to-read sections, provides information about the muses and important guidelines, and the site seemed like it was like you were reserving for paradise rather than an organized brothel—it even carried reviews.

You seemed convinced enough to hover your mouse down to the “find your muse” option and clicked and the link opened to a form; just like how Minho described it. Minho knew about this site because he used to be an active member and was even offered to work there as their muse only for him to reject as he wasn’t interested, which adds to the authenticity of this place. Now you were staring at the form in front of you, waiting for it to be filled.

“This is more intimidating than college application… guess here goes nothing.” You sighed before typing away your information and your preferences.

After filling out the form, you received an email from the place in the most eerily warming with an exciting letter that was graphically designed from them which says;

Hey there, (y/n)

We’re so excited for your first time at URMUSE, we welcome you full of joy and excitement. Based on your application and the preference you have given to us, we have booked you a session with our popular muse, Christopher, to help you fulfill your fantasy. If you’re interested in changing your muse or would like to make a change, just contact us at xx-xxx-xxxx.

You practically stopped reading as you were not interested in any change, you have paid your price and the date was given from when you go and have your time there. You have told the news to both of your best friends, only for you to get mixed reactions.

Minho was ecstatic, he was glad that you took his advice, and followed through with what he said, hoping you have the time of your life, “yay! I can’t wait for the stories, oh and make sure you tip them well if they did a good job, they’ll highly appreciate it!”

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was apprehensive. It wasn’t that he was against you doing this, he was just unsure if this is the right way to do it. He is no angel; he himself did go to brothels similar to URMUSE but he just thought you’d be overwhelmed by the environment and was worried you were going to regret it, “I’m not telling you to not go, especially since you’ve paid, but I’m telling you to watch yourself…”

While responses were different, still you sensed their caring nature, especially since both were adamant about calling them if someone tried to hurt you or something, but either way, you reassured them and you appreciated their thoughtfulness.

Fast forward to the date, it was finally that time to meet up with your muse and hopefully not be disappointed or judged by him. From the time you got the email, you wanted to research this Christopher guy, you knew he was popular but you didn’t want to see his face as you didn’t want it to tamper with your fantasy that you may embark in. You asked Minho if he can do it for you without showing you what he looks like, and he gladly accepted to help.

While in a facetime call, you see Minho creating a bunch of facial expressions, mainly an impressed expression based on his smirk, his raised eyebrows, and the way he pushed out his bottom lips.

“What?” You asked, brows knitted as Minho chuckles at the screen he was seeing and shakes his head, “oh boy, (y/n), you’re one lucky bitch.”

“What?!” you dragged out as you repeated

“Well, you said you don’t want details, but from what I can see, your boy Christopher? He’s—he’s a good one,” Minho said, trying to make it as vague as he can, which made you regret asking him to do the research in front of you as now your curiosity was practically pushing you further on going against your plans.

However, thankfully you eased yourself with it and didn’t let temptation win you over, especially since the date wasn’t far from the email you have gotten. Now you were on your way to the place for your session. Minho and his partner suggested that you should wear lingerie, be minimal with the make-up, and most importantly have fun. They also mentioned that the place also offers safe names so make sure you mention it at some point. You just had to keep a lot of mental notes before going in there.

Your taxi was driving you there, but not exactly at the place, but rather somewhere close. Once again, you let your insecurity eat you up when it comes to sex, shaming yourself for going to such a place, and being scared to be judged. It was too late to back down anyway, so you just accepted it, but you still hoped the ride would be done and over with, so you wouldn’t have to look at the poor taxi man in the face.

Once arriving, you paid your driver, and you were out of the car. Once you were sure the driver was gone, you walked in the direction of the place until you found the sign that made you eye up at it. The red cursive logo sign made it seem like it was a nightclub rather than what you thought would be a kin to a love hotel, however you didn’t let it drive you away and walked in there. You walked in and you saw a beautiful, blonde boy standing behind the counter, he maintained the prettiest smile as well as had the most radiant aura you have ever seen on a boy, you weren’t sure whether to feel small and intimidated or thirst over him just right where you stand.

“Hi, welcome to URMUSE, this is Felix, how am I help you?” The pretty boy behind the counter, Felix, spoke. You thought his cute presence was very contradicting to the vulgar environment he is in, but you can’t really judge him as you don’t know him well enough to confirm.

“Uh, hi, um,” you stammered nervously, “I have an appoint—I mean a reservation with my muse—I mean Christopher! Under the name (y/n).” you mentally face palmed yourself for what you thought was being an idiot, but Felix seems to think otherwise as he chuckles lightly.

“This is your first time right?” He asked, with a smile, however, the warmth in his smile contradicts the eyes he had as he examined your nervous being before going back to the computer to check for your name.

“Uh, yeah, y’know, just trying out new things and expanding my horizons and stuff,” you nervously rambled, once again mentally slapping yourself for making a fool of yourself, which amuses Felix rather than turns him off. “You’re so cute, you know that?” he comments. Which made you blush at the sudden comment, unsure whether he was being genuine or not, but either way, it was a confidence booster, and you took it anyway.

“Ugh, what a shame,” Felix pouted, making you frown, “you do have an appointment with Chris, ugh, he’s so lucky, can’t help but be jealous.”

To say Felix’s comment made your heart drop would be an understatement, but you weren’t sure if it was him leaving you off guard by pretending that the reservation was not there, or him telling you that he wanted to be in Christopher’s place, either way, so far, you were glad you’ve spent your money on this.

“Oh well, how about you follow me right this way, yeah?” Felix raised his hand in the direction of the hallway. You only smiled back at him politely as you two walked into the bright red hallway that had wooden maroon doors on each side with numbers written on the side with red or green lights radiating out of the panel, presumably to indicate the availability of the rooms.

“Are the walls soundproof?” You randomly asked as you two continued to walk down the quiet hallway. Felix smirked as he turned his head to you, “would you like the walls to be soundproof?” his deep voice was sultry when the question escaped his lips, you couldn’t help but feel weak at the response. Christopher has some serious competition, and Felix hasn’t even done anything remotely sexual.

“Umm…”

“Here we are,” Felix announced as he stops his footsteps and you bump into him, making you apologize profusely to him. “Don’t worry, this is probably the only time I’ll be this close to you,” he softly spoke, as he held your face and dragged his finger across your jaw, making you gulp at the physical and eye contact.

Felix turned as he opens the door by pressing the keypad on the handle and takes your hand inside the room. The door opened to a room with an interesting yet organized interior design. The room was big for what it seemed; silk black bedsheets in a queen-sized bed, a dark auburn wall-to-ceiling closet, a soothing yet arousing shade of red painted on the wall along with simple yet aesthetically appealing accessories and paintings on the wall.

Felix held your shoulders to help you take off your coat and hung it up for you before he sat you down in the bed. He held up your face as a farewell before speaking, “it has been nice chatting with you, I wish I could have you for myself but I guess we can’t have what we want,” he smirks as he looks up and your face, “hopefully you’ll love it here, so I could see you again, but for now, I have to go. Have fun…”

“Chris, she’s all yours!” Felix looked up as he announces and he walks out of the room. You were now sitting at the bed, unsure of what to do right now, and just awaiting Christopher to come in.

“Hello?”

You jumped up as you looked around to find the source but you cannot find who it is, so you assumed it was just your voice playing around with you until you hear the voice again.

“Are you (y/n)? Can you hear me?”

The voice had a similar accent to that of Felix, while his voice wasn’t deep as his, it was still a pleasant voice. it had this gentle yet masculine voice that was soothing to listen to and you were in for it. But still, you couldn’t see the source of the voice, and confusion increased by the second.

“Y-yes, this is me, is this Christopher?” you called out still looking around the room.

You hear his soft laughter emanating in the room, making you knit your brows, “oh gosh, (y/n), you’re so cute, are you sure you want me to call you mistress?”

As soon as he mentioned mistress, everything started to connect the dot. You remembered when you filled out the form, you stated that you enjoyed the whole anonymity that comes with it along with wanting to try out to dominate someone who may seem physically virile and muscular, so you’d hope to see what they can offer, and so far you’re intrigued seeing how he has yet to reveal himself and is speaking into a microphone that blares beautifully in the room you’re staying in.

Your demeanor seemed to change, especially since Christopher didn’t seem bothered by your request, as you place your arms behind you and smirked, “Christopher, are you about to act up on me already?” You responded, now leveling yourself on his.

He laughs, gosh his laugh was too attractive you thought to yourself, “just wanted to make sure if I’m talking to the same mistress, and also…”

He paused his words and then you hear the door open from your right side and you looked at whoever walked in, and your jaw dropped, “You can call me, Chris or Chan… or baby, or pup, or whatever you want to call me,” he proceeded, you can make out that he was smiling as he was speaking.

Your eyes panned at the robbed yet evidently well-built masked man. The lower half of his face was covered by a balaclava, showcasing only his onyx brown eyes and his chestnut curly hair. Even though he hasn’t shown his full face, you can still clearly tell he was attractive just based on his eyes and his facial structure, which was simultaneously concealing and accentuating his cheekbones and jaw.

You admired him, as he walked up to you and got down on his knees, and got his large and veiny hands on your exposed legs, lightly gripping and massaging your thighs underneath your skirt, his fingers barely touching your core. Your breath hitched at the sensation, while Chris just eyes you up with glimmering puppy eyes.

“I’m all yours, mistress… please take me.”

It felt like it was more than an hour since you and Chris had interacted when in actuality it had been less than twenty minutes. You two briefly talked about rules and precautions, deciding to follow the traffic light system if anything were to happen to either of you, mainly you. After that discussion has ended your insecure, overthinking self has been completely replaced with a self-righteous, domme who has already in just panties and tied up a naked Chris, who was whimpering at the lack of touch from you after you stopped stroking his cock after he told you that he was close.

“Aw, what a good boy, being vocal to mistress,” you praised as you pushed his hair back, his whines were loud but slightly muffled by the mask on his lips. He nodded as he croaks, “anything for you,” his high-pitched whines were brought back up as you started to fist his cock but this time you got closer to his cock, the smirk on your face painted with villainy, “hey.”

Chris let out a closed whimper as he looks down on you, despite his hand being tied. You made eye contact with his eyes as you continued to move your hand, “you better keep your eyes on me, got it, pup?”

He nods through his sobs, and one thing led to another, your mouth was wrapped around his precum-slicked cock, making him let out a broken moan as the feeling of your mouth around him was so warm and so pleasant. His stomach sinks at the sensation as he cries about how good you feel, all the while he tries his best to keep eye contact with you.

“Oh my fucking go—mistress, your mouth feels so—ah, fuck,” his words were broken by his moans, to the point he accidentally broke eye contact when he threw back his head to moan out loud. He suddenly lost the warm feeling of your mouth and instead, he felt a sharp slap to his sensitive organ, making him yelp and wince, his hand gripped the rope, that was tied to his wrist, tightened.

“I told you to not lose contact,” you sternly spoke as you began pinching his thighs, making him jump and arch his back while crying out strings of apologies.

“I’m sorry, mistress, I’m sorry,” he sobs out, “please, just please, pup needs your mouth, please.”

You wanted to punish him but you found his pleadings so adorable, the way his eyes were getting glossy by your edging and the way you were pinching and slapping him. While you enjoyed the masked face and wanted him to keep it on, seeing how cute he sounds and how his eyes were mesmerizing to you, you can’t help but wanna pull down the balaclava and see his face fully.

“pup, is it okay if I took your mask down and ride your face?”

His skin reddened, and you could tell he was nervous and apprehensive, so you thought he didn’t want to and wanted to carry on with the mask. “It’s okay if you don’t—”

“No! No! it’s not that, I’m just… shy,” he revealed, and you couldn’t help but find him even more adorable than before. You’re unsure if he was acting or being genuine, but either way, his sex appeal grew to the sky in your opinion. You grabbed the lower part of his balaclava, him lifting his head to help you remove it from his head, and when his face was fully revealed, you couldn’t be even more enamored by his face even more. His lips were red and plump, his cheeks were speckled with freckles and red flushness, and his nose protruded out attractively.

“Wow,” you breathed out as you threw his mask away, making him sink down into the mattress of the bed and look away shyly. You pulled his face by his chin to make him look at you, “if I knew you had this face, I definitely would never have made the masked request… You are so pretty, Chris.”

Your compliment made Chris smile shyly and giggle, “thank you, mistress…”

You chuckled through your breath as you got off, making Chris wander your eyes silently pleading to get back on him only to see you remove your panties. You crawled back into Chris and placed your thighs between his head and looked back down at him, “Want to taste, mistress?”

He didn’t say anything aside from excitedly nodding at your question and licking his lips. You smirked at his excitement before slowly sliding yourself down until Chris began devouring you from below making you gasp at how active his tongue was. You were taken aback by the pleasant feeling of his tongue and the way it touched all the spots you wanted to touch, especially when your grinding away at his face. His nose would make contact with your clit, especially when he moves his head along with your hips, trying to catch every flavor of you.

You gripped his hair as you were moaning at the good feeling Chris was giving you, so much so, that you felt your lower belly heating up. “God, pup, you love making mistress feel good, right?” you sighed out your words before moaning.

Chris just moaned as a response along with tasting the nectar you’re giving him like he was thirsty for it. You threw your head back as your hip movements were becoming more sloppy and messy as you felt the heat bubbling up, and as much as you wanna come all over the pretty boy’s face, you decide against it, so you pulled his hair as you got off his face, making him chase for your juices before gasping for air and looking at you.

“You did so well for mistress… I think pup’s ready for me, is that right?” you asked as you were creating anticipation and Chris did a good job at pretending to be desperate, especially with the way he excitedly nodded and just chanted “yes, yes,” with a bunch of whines. You were so deep in, that you completely forgot that you were dealing with a professional, but you didn’t care, you want to relish in the whole experience no matter what way.

You gasped at the feeling of his cock stretching you, bringing you to utmost bliss. He whined at the feeling of your velvet and warming walls being filled and your hips moving around it. The movement was intense when it comes to the pace and depth of this session was getting, with you two praising each other based on your respective roles.

While this wasn’t the first Chris has ever been in the submissive role in his taboo career, he wasn’t really into most of the roleplays and positions he was given, but he had to do it as this was his job either way, but either way, he doesn’t seek submissive roles often. However, when your application came in and was offered to him, he was at first against it as he doesn’t want to do another submissive role, but for some reason, he had a change of heart and decided to do it—especially since you had paid extra more than asked for the hour, who would say no to that? Chris thought to himself.

He was glad that you failed his expectation, as the way of delivery, albeit a rocky start, was phenomenal in his opinion. You absolutely were one of the few doms and dommes he seemed to enjoy being with thus far, he was highly impressed by you if anything.

He looked up at you, heavy breathing as her movements began speeding up, his knuckles turning white with the way he’s pulling on the ropes, and her fingernails scratches on his defined pectorals. Your combined moans were echoing loudly in the room, had it not for Felix telling you that the walls were not soundproof, you would have brought your insecure self back. But even so, you wouldn’t have cared at the moment as you and Chris felt good about being around each other.

“oh, fuck! Chris—pup, I’m so fucking close,” you shuddered your words as the heat in your lower belly was getting overwhelming. You assume Chris was not far behind either due to the whine he just slipped out, so you encouraged him to come with her.

“You can come with, pup, it’s okay, you ready?”

Chris nodded before he mewled as you moved faster so you could reach high. And long after, you came around him, cursing out at how good you felt, but you sensed that Chris hasn’t orgasmed yet so you slipped yourself out and began stroking him instead. While your hands were incomparable, Chris couldn’t deny how good he felt, and with the pace you were going and the pressure you exerted, you wounded out milking him as he came all over his stomach and chest while sobbing and shaking at his orgasm, especially when you overstimulated him.

“Mmm—mistress,” his whines were so high-pitched as he teared up and hiccuped at how overpowering the extra strokes you gave him. His silent pleads to stop were answered as you saw how much he covered himself with his white cum and you couldn’t help just licking some of it off, while Chris was trying to catch his breath. He tasted salty but not too overpowering where it was gross, you couldn’t help but wonder if he has drunk enough pineapple or something, but either way, you couldn’t get enough.

However, you got to your senses and stopped licking him, as you looked at him wide-eyed. You couldn’t believe you just tired the poor tied-up man, you thought.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” you asked, concern laced as you tapped his shoulders, making him laugh as a response.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” He responded back with a smile as he looked at the restraints, hoping you would untie him, which you instantly did. He groaned in glee once again as he freed his wrists out of the ropes, stretching them out.

You didn’t know why but you felt like apologizing only for him to shake his head, “there is nothing to be sorry for, after all my job was to help you fulfill your fantasy… which I hope I did.”

“Oh yeah you definitely did a good job, and I would definitely rate you a five star and tip you!”

Chris’s face lit up with a smile, “I’m so glad to hear that, I also had really fun, I don’t often do submissive roles, but I’m glad I got to do with it you.” His words seemed genuine and you didn’t know how to react so you ended up feeling flustered once again.

“Well, I tried…” You mumbled making both of you laugh.

After cleaning up and tipping, you two left outside the door, stating your farewells.

“Well, it’s been fun, I’m really glad you enjoyed your experience, you already know me, so don’t be shy to drop by to y’know… destress,” Chris cheerfully spoke with a smile. He was too charming and you couldn’t help but admire him once again, especially when he was back in his robe with his chest revealed. He extended his arms for an embrace, which took you by surprise, but you were far from uncomfortable. Despite the previous activities, he smelled oddly good, like musk for some reason, you couldn’t get away from it.

He pulled away from you, and he rubbed your arms with a smile before letting them go, “I’ll see you, yeah?”

You nodded back and there you two went your separate ways. You saw Felix still standing behind the counter, his eyes still on you, and he asked about your experience. You raved everything to him and told him that this won’t be the last time he’ll be seeing you for sure.

“Well, I’m glad you liked it here, and I wish to see you,” he says as he leans closer to your ears to whisper, “but ask for me next time, yeah?”

You couldn’t help but be stunned at his last phrase, while he leans back and smiles at you. “Hope we can see you again, (y/n).”

Yeah, definitely… You’ll see me here again… I have to call Minho and Hyunjin.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids fics #stray kids fanfic #stray kids oneshot #stray kids imagines #skz fanfic #skz fics #skz imagines #skz oneshots #bang chan smut #bang chan imagines #bang chan imagine #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fics #bang chan fanfic

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moraxsthrone · 11 months

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Kaeya fluff? Hell yeah

Imagine being the one person Kaeya leans on. For real, this man trusts no one and thought he would trust no one until you showed up. Now here he is, venting about his rough day at work while you run your fingers through his hair, reminding him just how much you love him. Maybe it's just me, but I think this man would MELT if you told him you want him romantically. Like, he's proud of how he can make you scream his name and all but having you say that you would be with him even without that? The man's dead, you killed him, but maybe he'll come back to you for a kiss ;)

Sorry, I don't think this is what you were asking for, but hope you like it anyhow?

anonnnnnn??? this is PERFECT!! it's even better than what i wanted?? skskskskssss. bless you, child, for leaving such a sweet delicacy in my ask box! 🥹💙

CW/NOTES — mention of sex but otherwise sfw. themes of low self-worth, abandonment issues, imposter syndrome (kaeya, not reader). fluff/comfort. gn! reader.

no, hun, it's not just you. you see, i've got quite a soft spot for lowkey insecure kaeya. it only makes sense??

i touched on this in my previous post, but i think kaeya secretly worries that you'll come to your senses one day and decide that being with him is more trouble than he's worth? he's scared shitless that he's inherently disposable (after what his bio father - and later, diluc - did to him) and probably suffers from a massive case of imposter syndrome when you tell him you're in love with him.

i think a big reason why he "peacocks" so much is bc he knows he's beautiful on the outside but thinks he's ugly on the inside and not worth sticking around for. beneath that cocky façade, there's a little boy who's terrified of being left all alone again. so he overcompensates by using his good looks and charming smile to win ppl over bc deep down he thinks that's all he's got going for him. of course you want to fuck him, he thinks. who doesn't?

but YOOOO when you touch his soul and kiss his scars, and you hold his heart in your hands like it's the most precious thing you've ever held? <i'm trying not to fucking cry here 😅> you hold it so close to your own heart and take care of it like it's yours (it is now, as far as he's concerned btw), kaeya fucking freaks the fuck out. he knows how to lose people. he's all too familiar with being discarded and abandoned.

but what he's NOT used to is being seen, accepted, and loved for exactly who he is, right to his very core. the first time you spend the night with him without having sex, he doesn't even sleep. he just lies there and watches you as tears blur his vision. he holds you and breathes in the scent of your hair as he kisses the top of your sleepy head, quietly thanking his stars for you and hoping his sniffling doesn't wake you up.

he'll know how it feels to be loved unconditionally and it's all bc of you. trust, this man will never step out of your relationship or do anything else to jeopardize what he has with you.

you're his home now, his center.

you're his present and his future.

you're his whole fucking life, his everything.

you're his person, the one who has his head in your lap, slowly brushing the tangles out of his hair with your fingers, leaning down to kiss his forehead and reminding him how much you love him. even and especially on his bad days when he needs that reminder the most.

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muddyorbsblr · 2 years

Text

mission first, right?

See my full list of works here!

Summary: You're plagued with doubts when Loki goes radio silent in the middle of a mission after being tasked to acquire intelligence in the possession of a drop dead gorgeous woman.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: massive angst hours; insecure reader; language [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: really not much plot to this; if i'm being honest, this is just a vent piece

You knew it was a bad idea. Why didn't you listen to your gut when all this started a few months ago?

Oh. Right. You were too busy having said guts rearranged by your…what were you anyway? Friends with benefits? Booty calls with added perks? Lovers? You shuddered at that last word. Definitely not lovers.

Dammit, you thought to yourself. I had my whole life planned out. Become a SHIELD Agent, level up in the ranks, qualify to try out for the Avengers program, become an Avenger. Getting into a situationship with Loki Laufeyson was not part of the plan, you bleeding nimrod.

Now you were here. Pacing the hotel room you two shared for this forsaken mission, waiting for him to return from seducing that absolute knockout of a target that you undoubtedly wanted to knock out with the butt of your standard issue pistol until her shiny new nose got dislodged from her perfectly nipped and tucked face.

"We're going to need two of you to go undercover for this one," Rogers briefed the team. "Y/L/N. Laufeyson. You both haven't been spotted by the target, his daughter, or any member of their protection detail. Find the drive, clone it, bring it back here. By any means necessary."

Upon Loki's raised hand, his brother responded with, "No, Loki, you may not kill unless it is deemed necessary by both you and Lady Y/N."

"Yeah, Rock of Ages, so no stabbing."

You didn't think that the drive was a trinket within the bracelet of Dasovich's daughter. That the procurement would require Loki's charms rather than your wiles. That you would have to listen to him use the same caressing tone that he'd used on you just a few short months ago that coaxed you into his bed.

You didn't think it would hurt. To hear him use that tone with someone else. This was just supposed to be fun. An outlet for the both of you to release whatever pent up tension remained after training. Or missions that leaned more on the dangerous and violent rather than the clandestine and finessed.

You were just supposed to be a means to each other's stress relief. An instrument towards a mutually reached orgasm. Nothing more. You didn't think—

Exactly, you fucking idiot, you didn't think, you hissed inwardly. You didn't think when you took him up on his offer, you weren't thinking when he first kissed you and slipped his tongue in your mouth, you weren't thinking the first time he used that same mouth and tongue to explore every fucking inch of your body, you weren't thinking the first or the second or the twelfth time he fucked you, and you sure as fuck weren't thinking when you fell in love with him.

"And now look where you are," you sighed into the empty room.

The minutes turned into hours, with you on the precipice of getting on Tony's last nerve with your constant calls in of "Anything from Laufeyson?" every fifteen minutes, only to receive Steve's response of, "Sorry, Y/N. Still nothing. He must have removed his earpiece."

"Can't imagine why," you said slyly on your last check in, receiving a chuckle from both Sam and Bucky. "But it's been hours shouldn't we go check on him?"

"Maybe Horns just wants to be thorough," Sam quipped. "Can't blame him, that woman's practically a supermodel, I'd be thorough, too."

Well you can't blame him but I sure as fuck can, you thought to yourself, Wilson's words cutting into your heart as if they were Loki's own daggers. "If he's not back in another fifteen minutes, I'm kicking the door in."

"Jellybean, if Bambi's not back in ten, I'll send in his brother to get him."

Then, as if on cue, the door to your room opened and in walked the raven-haired god, his suit pristine and not a hair out of place. As if you couldn't get any angrier; he couldn't even look disheveled after the fact because he could just put everything back in place with a wave of his hand.

"Don't bother, Stark, he's here," you deadpanned. "Thanks."

"Apologies, darling," he said, taking out his earpiece. "The drive took a while to clone."

"I bet it did," you shot back, your tone unchanged. "Is she still breathing, at least?"

"What? Of course she is, I swore not to kill her, did I not?" You felt him step closer to you, placing his hands on your upper arms. You shrugged him away. "Y/N?" He wrapped his arms around your waist; you maneuvered yourself out of his hold. "Darling?" He paused for a moment, probably noting the brass knuckles laid out on the desk next to your pistol, before he let out a chuckle. "Were you barging in to the room, dear Y/N? Come to rescue me?"

You turned around to face him, the tears threatening to escape your eyes. "Sure, Laufeyson. Let's go with that."

The amusement on his face melted away as he stepped toward you again. "My precious mortal--" You didn't bother trying to push him away as he pulled you into his arms, his hand gently cradling your head and stroking your hair. He took a breath. "Ask me. There's a question burning in your mind, so just ask me."

"Do I even have to? Just so I get to hear the satisfaction in your voice when you say yes? I mean, I get it. Mission first and all that, sometimes we have to kill someone, sometimes we have to fuck someone. It comes with the job."

"Y/N, stop this. Just ask me, so that I may tell you--"

"Loki I can't do this anymore." You rushed the words, as if they were a band aid you simply needed to rip off and everything would be over.

You felt him go frigid around you. "Darling, don't--"

"I can't go through this mission and then…what? We celebrate, we pretend that nothing happened, that you didn't use the same voice you used on me when we started this whole schtick between us on a mark? That you didn't use the exact same moves on her you did on me the second that her hotel room door closed? Hey, at least you had the courtesy to turn off your comms so I didn't have to hear her moan your name."

"Please darling--"

"Might as well stop it now I mean I'm still hurt and I was still stupid, hell I was stupid to agree to this entire thing anyway. What was I thinking going into this with the bravado that I wasn't gonna fall in love," you chuckled darkly. "Stupid little mortal, right?"

"You—"

"But I'll be fine. Not like you'd care you probably have your next one lined up already. Is it her? Dasovich's daughter? I mean she is a looker I'll give you that, a knockout even. No you know what? Don't tell me. I don't wanna know. I don't want anything—"

"Stop," he commanded. "Before you say something you cannot rescind. You've said so much, and yet none of your suspicions could be further from the truth. Please, dear heart. Just ask me—"

"FINE!!" You pushed yourself away from him, forcing yourself to look at his face, desperately trying to find the tiniest indicators of him lying once he answered you. Fat chance of that happening, this is the literal god of lies you’re dealing with. You took a breath, your entire body shaking with a rage you couldn't contain anymore. "Was she any good?"

His brows furrowed. "What?"

"When you fucked her—"

"Y/N!" You flinched at his raised voice, the frustration that was evident in his face quickly subsiding for concern the moment a tear finally escaped your eye, rolling down your cheek. "I'm sorry," he said softly, his hands raised as if in surrender as he stepped closer to you. "My darling. My precious girl. Will you please give me a few minutes to tell you what happened?"

Instead of letting the words keep flowing, and letting yourself get louder and angrier, undoubtedly just leading to nothing but a scratched throat and a hollow heart, you gave him a wordless nod. Granted your heart would still be hollow at the end of tonight and you'd still need to nurse your wounded pride and ego, but at least you wouldn't have a scratched throat.

"I didn't touch her," he said calmly, his hands still held up, palms out, almost reaching out to you.

"Why should I believe you?" you breathed out. You'd felt your strength waning. All you wanted was for this to be over already so that you could get another room, far away from him, and cry yourself to sleep. Though with how weak you already felt, you would probably just lie in bed with the tears streaming down the sides of your face until sleep finally overtook you.

"Because, darling, if you are in fact a stupid mortal, then I am a stupid god." Your breath hitched. Don't fucking say it, Loki, you shouted in your head. "I could not even stomach the thought of touching another. Not when I knew that the woman I love was waiting for me in our room, and every time I would think about committing myself fully to this mission, I could imagine the hurt in your eyes when I returned to you. I must say the reality is a much more agonizing than anything I could have conjured in my own mind."

It was only then that he stepped closer, framing your face in his hands. When you blinked, more tears escaped your eyes. You didn't know if you could believe him, but you wanted to. Desperately. You wanted his words to be the truth. The woman he loved. How you wished it could be real.

"I enchanted her drink, darling. She's asleep. I didn't touch her. I couldn't. Not when I already belong to another. There is no 'next one', dear heart. There is only you. There will only ever be you." He laid his lips on yours in a tender kiss. "Truly the delay was not caused by a prolonged seduction, I could never do that to you. No mission could ever be worth harming you. I needed to scour her slumbering memories to find the location of the drive, the true drive. Our intel misled us. The intelligence she possessed was not upon a trinket around her wrist, but disguised as the jewel upon her shoes."

His words refused to sink in. You refused to accept them. Any of them. They resembled a dream you wished not to wake from. But that was all they were. A dream. These were pretty words fashioned from a pretty mouth. A silver tongue. Pretty words were his specialty; his poorly hidden superpower. With them he could get any unwitting victim to fold, bend to his will.

And now he was using them on you. Again.

"Stop," you pleaded. "Please, Loki I'm begging you." Your voice began to crack at your words. "When we started this, we were just having fun. It was stress relief. It's not fun anymore. It hurts. It makes me want to rip my heart out just so it stops hurting so much." You pulled his hands away from your face and began to sink to your knees. "That's it. I give. I can't anymore."

Panic colored his face as he saw what you were doing, and he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you straight to your feet. "No, my love. You do not kneel. Not you." He pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Never you." A kiss to your temple, then your cheek. "Y/N, please. I never wish to harm you, my precious girl. My dear heart." He proceeded to press kisses down to your neck, your clavicle, above your heart, until he reached your lower stomach. And there he stayed, hands on the sides of your thighs, his forehead pressed to your navel.

And then you realized that he had sunk to his knees.

"I cannot lose you, Y/N. My heart would not bear the anguish of losing you." His arms wrapped around your legs, as if he refused to relinquish you from his hold. "This was never about fun for me, dear heart. This was about need. A need I'd never once felt in my life, for anyone. I needed to hold you, to taste you, to love you. But mostly, I needed you to know that I was yours. I need you to know now that I am yours. I need you to know that I--"

"Stop it," you pleaded helplessly. "Don't say it."

"I will," he insisted. "Because I need you to hear me say it. I need you to know that I love you, and I will spend the rest of my days striving to make myself worthy of you. Why would I ever risk you for something as trivial as intelligence for a mission? You are the most precious thing in my life." His hands grasped yours, and he brought them to his lips, pressing desperate kisses to your knuckles. "Stay with me, my love."

"Get up," you sobbed, trying to pull him up by your joint hands. "Please, Loki." You could barely breathe as he once again placed his hands on your sides and proceeded to press kiss after kiss on your clothed body as he rose to his feet once more.

When he was upright once more, he hovered his lips over yours, pleading, "Don't leave me."

"Don't hurt me," you whispered back.

"Never. I would never. I love you, Y/N. I should have told you sooner. I should have told you my plans, given you no room for doubt." He pressed his lips to yours, audibly exhaling in relief when he felt you kiss him back. "I'm sorry," he murmured against your lips repeatedly between kisses. "I beg of you, my love, don't leave me."

"I won't," you answered in a rush. "I can't. I'm yours. I love you, too. Even when it hurt to, I loved you."

"Tell me what to do. To make amends for hurting you so. Tell me and it will be done. Just don't tell me to let you go. I could never." As if to emphasize his point, he wrapped his arms around you in an unrelenting embrace.

"Just don't hurt me," you whispered into his chest. "I won't be able to take it if you do."

You could hear his heart beat faster as he cradled your head in his hand, holding you as if you were so precious. "I swear, my darling mortal."

The entire remainder of the night, he made good on his promise to make amends for the hurt his silence caused you, with every kiss, every caress ensuring that the pain you felt earlier that night was a distant memory by the time you'd both arrived back to the tower.

And then the declared to Steve and Fury that he would never partake in a task like that again. That in the future he will acquire the intelligence in his own way, without having to resort to flirtation or seduction.

When they asked him why, he simply said, "No intel would ever be valuable enough to warrant hurting the woman I love in order to acquire it."

A/N: Let's be real…my brain went somewhere angsty and sad midway through reading the latest CF entry by @lokisgoodgirl (right before they started going at it in the mark's hotel room 😳😏), and it refused to leave that angsty and sad place until I finished writing this whew--

Taglist:

Everything: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki angst #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #loki oneshot #muddyorbs writes

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 1 month

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Hi there! How are you doing? I have some questions, well, a rant *plus* some questions.

I feel... safer with allo allies than I do with aro/ace communities (online). Does that make me aphobic/bad? I don't go by labels because for me, they're not necessary. If I *were* to label myself based purely on definitions, I would be aroace, specifically, demiromantic asexual. I used to go by this a while back.

I don't fit the stereotype of being aroace at all. I'll talk about the aromantic side. Unlike most arospecs i've seen online, I LOVE Valentine's day! I LOVE shipping! I LOVE consuming romance fiction. I LOVE romance et cetera et cetera and yet I don't experience it like allos do. I need a strong bond with someone in order to fall in love and it takes me really, really, long to do so. But once it happens, my love is not 'weak'. It makes me pass really well as allo because of this, but it makes a lot of people in the aro community mad because I'm 'stealing' a label to 'feel special'. I was always told I was not aroace, that I couldn't be aroace by definition. That I was alloromantic asexual pretending to be on the arospec. That I was too scared to be 'basic'.

On that topic, and I think this is unintentional, but... why is nobody batting an eye when an aro or an ace person shames an allo or calls them weird or basic? Because they're doing exactly what allo aphobes are doing to them. I had this conversation with a friend and he said, 'that doesn't happen, allo people don't get shamed especially by aspec people', yet, I keep seeing things like 'I fucking hate allos so much' and 'To all my aces, we're not like allos, we're better' or something along those lines.

Whenever I enter an aspec online space, I'm made to feel like an intruder because, as I said, my experiences are very similar to the allo experience EXCEPT for the fact that I don't feel romantic attraction unless a strong bond has been formed. I'm not saying the aroace community is bad in any way, don't get my wrong, I'm saying that there is a massive gatekeeping problem going around and so much bubbling hatred and separation, and I don't understand any of it. In a prefect world, I'd happily identify as aroace, but I feel ashamed to do so now.

The gatekeeping... the infighting, I don't want to hate the online community of which I'm supposed to belong but this... this isn't right. The allo allies don't do things like this. They don't make me feel insecure about myself. And yes, while I don't experience romance like an allo would, I feel safe around them. I need to ask, have you seen this too? Have you experienced this? Is this truly all in my head? What do you think?

I apologize for the vent or if I seem aphobic, I just really need answers and I'm tired of the constant hatred... How are you? Did you drink enough water? Did you sleep well today? Did you eat? Again, I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this!

Vents are totally welcome, Anon. Don't worry.

I'm really sorry you ran into gatekeeping, Anon. I feel like that's something that's really been on the rise especially over the last couple of years. It's a real issue and it causes a lot of harm. This should go without saying, but demiromantic people are aro, and have just as much right to be here as anyone else on the aro spectrum.

I do think at least part of the problem is social media in general and how things are set up these days. We don't have community spaces as much anymore, in particular we've lost moderated spaces where gatekeepers can be properly dealt with. And there's very little curation or organization. Things are chaotic and fragmented, and one person's experience and what kind of posts they say see may vary wildly from someone else's. There's also a competing needs issue, where one aro may need to vent about romance, another may need their romantic side validated and there's no way to organize so each can find the space they each need.

If finding aro spaces/blogs that are more accepting is important to you, Anon (and it's OK both if it is or isn't), my big advice would be seek out demiromantic blogs and posters specifically. There's some very good ones around and they'll be posting about aro things that are relevant to you, and even more importantly won't be gatekeeping demi identities.

For more aro-general blogs, there are ones out there that are also inclusive and anti-gatekeeping, but it may take a bit of work to find them. Be very liberal with your unfollow and block buttons. If someone is gatekeeping block on sight, but also if they're not posting the type of aro content that you need or want to see, you're allowed to organize things so you don't see their posts. Sometimes unfollowing is enough, but blocking also doesn't necessarily mean the other person has done anything wrong, it's just a tool to make sure you're not seeing a blog you don't want to see.

For the shaming allos question, I do think it's a complex topic. For me it depends on context. I definitely do not believe in any kind of ace/aro superiority, being ace and/or aro, or being allo are both neutral. Nobody's smarter or more moral or more pure or anything like that. But sometimes people say things as a vent in the moment and are reacting to a difficult situation they've been in. So for example someone may say 'allos suck' but it comes from a place where they've been very badly treated by allos for being ace or aro but they're referring more to the societal systems that are in place that privilege allo people and make life more difficult for ace/aro people, they don't actually believe being allo makes someone a bad person. (It can be hard to tell what's going on just from a post, again it's OK to unfollow and block, especially if it's just not what you personally need to see in the moment).

Personally I don't come across a lot of this type of stuff, but this is what I mean about things being fragmented, the blogs I follow just aren't posting about the infighting or gatekeeping and I don't happen to see it in the tags when I go in there. But I do hear about it second hand, and it seems like it's a problem on other social media sites I'm not on as well.

I'm sorry you've had a hard time, Anon. But I am glad you've found people you can be comfortable with and be yourself around. That's really important too. And thanks for the reminder that I really should drink more water today.

Hopefully at least some of this is helpful, but if you have more questions or want to discuss anything in more detail, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best!

#aspec antagonism #vent post

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sweet-heart-jack · 2 months

Note

Jake peralta x reader requests? Girl I have SO MANY ideas for this, like I daydream about that man basically 24/7 (it’s a problem 😅) anyways if it’s cool with you I’ll just list out a few thoughts and if anything gives you inspiration to write then please do! If not then no worries just lemme vent out all my silly romantic frustrations 😅 sorry this is long and btw anytime I say reader this goes for plus size reader or however you wanna write the reader, I’m a plus size girl myself but I don’t mind it’s up to you!

1, Jake & reader have a series of bets (sorry Amy, I’m taking your man & his games!) like reader bets Jake can’t go a week without sugar/coffee, Jake bets reader she can’t take something out of holts office without him noticing etc ect.

2, elevator make outs!! (This could build on the bets like in relationship Jake & reader have bets on how long they can kiss in the elevator without getting caught, or they have a no kissing rule at work that one of them breaks in the elevator!)

3, reader is a barista in a little cafe/bakery place and Jake comes in, she thinks he’s cute so she gives him a free pastry and flirting happens! This occurs over several weeks until reader gets in trouble with her boss and Jake overhears then offers to take reader on an actual dinner date to pay back all his freebie’s (and because he likes her obviously 😂)

4, reader teaches Jake how to cook, lots of mess & failed attempts happen but also it’s flirty & fun! Kitchen kisses 😘 (I am yearning!!)

5, reader is a prosecutor working a case with Jake, as they go over evidence they develop a mutual respect & attraction that ends up flirty & either Jake kisses reader for luck before she goes to court or after winning the case reader kisses Jake to celebrate!

6, reader is coming over to Jakes appartement for the first time and the squad makes him paranoid about her hating his messy place so he tries desperately to tidy up but struggles & gets stressed but when reader comes over early and sees him spiralling she settles him down and says she’s not bothered by his mess, she knows him and loves him regardless! Maybe also offers to help sort out a few things with him (*cough cough* mail tub)

7, reader is harassed/bullied on the street (or in another precinct as a new detective) and Jake sees & goes hard defending her! (I love it when jakes gets angry and protective)

8, insecure reader and/or insecure Jake. Both have a hard day and don’t feel great about themselves but when the other sees them upset they immediately go to cheer them up, showering them in love & compliments and they end up cuddling 🥰 ik this is vague but just comforting vibes are needed!

9, Mafia Jake.. does anything! I’m obsessed with him in this era and there is barely anything about him 😭 reader could be his fbi contact who helps him with his new role, or in adjusting back to normal life after the case is done (also in getting over Amy, sorry again girl but how tf could you let this man go?!) OR reader is in the Ianucci (idk how to spell 😅) family but wants out/isn’t a criminal and so Jake helps her, or is assigned by the family to protect her, or she’s a rival and Jake has to intimidate her but they end up flirting! Sorry that one has so many alternatives but my god the world needs more of mafia Jake!!

So sorry this is super long & weird 😅 I have more but didn’t wanna be extra annoying 😂 again feel free to do whatever you want with these prompts! Hope you have fun writing and much love to you 😊❤️

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK. I think I'll work on one for right now but I'll also work on the others soon because all of these are so amazing

Also if you ever wanna talk about Jake I'm here I could always use a Jake/Brooklyn nine-nine friend

#Jake peralta #jake peralta x plus size reader #Brooklyn nine-nine #jake peralta fanfiction #andy samberg #q&a

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aclowntiny · 10 months

Note

Hi! I'm here 'cause i love your work so much, you really got my attention UwU

I wonder if you could do how ateez or svt act with an s/o with the same heigth or taller than them. That is my insecurity around boys tbh. Thank you if you read this, ily 🥺 💖 (English isn't my first language, sorry for the grammar)

AHHH OMG YOU’RE SO SWEET!!! I love *you* 🫶🏻 we stan a tall queen, I know 2 lovely 6ft gals, one married a 6’6 guy & the other is in a very committed relationship to a 5’5 (woozi height 😌) short king 👑 we love to see it! I’m sure any short average or tall guy would be lucky to have you 🥰

Ateez With a Tall S/O

Hongjoong

Ok, you know this man is gonna want to dress you up. You just have a great frame for modeling no matter what your style, because of course Hongjoong respects that. Whether you prefer more masculine or feminine looks, both look great on a tall person! If you’re taller than him, he’ll probably be a bit shy about it especially if you’re a tall queen! Don’t tease him and call him short though he doesn’t like it >:( he lowkey wishes he were taller so he can do more protective-looking things, but his personality definitely still shines through without the necessity of height. If you’re his height or really close to it, get ready for the most intense eye contact of your life and the best pictures of you two looking into each other’s eyes!

Seonghwa

In awe of you honestly. You know that look he gets of complete wonder, stars sparkling in his eyes as he smiles? That’s all for you, baby! Especially if you show off, totally work an outfit, or perform some dance moves he’s just like whooooaaaaa even if it was a small thing. Seonghwa’s favorite is to hold you close at his side and having you so near smooch distance is a big bonus! Your height doesn’t make him feel insecure at all, if anything he is reassuring you all the time how unique and amazing you are, whether it’s that or all the other things he loves about you. Having a taller significant other makes cuddling that much better to Seonghwa so he can hold you facing him that much more easily!

Yunho

He probably feels like you guys have natural common ground because both of you are tall. May make jokes or conversation about it to bond with you unless you really hate that. If you hate your height, he’ll just nod and get really understanding because while he’s at peace with being tall, Yunho can understand that it gets you attention. Just because it doesn’t bother him doesn’t mean he can’t empathize! Honestly, having a taller significant other that’s his height or near it is great in Yunho’s mind because it makes it easier to dance with you, which is one of his favorite things to do as a couple. It’s less awkward than if he’s towering over you or moving you too forcefully because he’s so much larger…not to mention the eye contact is very romantic!!!

Yeosang

Is surprised if you’re taller than him, if you’re just close to his height it’s probably not enough to register in his mind. Like ok cool, yeah you’re near eye level, that’s nice. But if you stand above him he will loom at you like :o . He sort of likes the idea of being the taller one in the relationship, but such a small thing would never be a deal breaker! Plus it ends up coming in handy and he sees it differently when you guys basically end up as that meme of Kevin Hart and the lady lol. You protect Yeosang, not that he can’t do it himself but you stand up for your innocent boyfriend and the way his heart beats has him forgetting why he ever wanted to be the tall one in the first place. He’ll definitely want to protect you in turn, pulling you to the half of the sidewalk away from the road and doing as many little things as possible for you!

San

Listens to you vent so well, so if you ever tell him you hate being tall he’ll nod so intently, eyes getting sad as you talk before taking both of your hands in his when you finish. He’ll tell you he thinks you’re beautiful and amazing just how you are and not to listen to those people no matter how hard it is to tune them out. Instead of focusing on your height he’ll compliment every single other thing he loves, like your face when you see your favorite things or how he felt when he met you. Conversely, if you love being tall, he’ll hype you up to oblivion about it, cheering you on and telling you how you’re working it even if you’re wearing the plainest outfit hehe. San’s your little spoon and your big spoon, the one you pulls you into his chest even if you’re taller and he’ll love it if you do the same. Basically he’s used to being the taller/same height one, so he’ll want to try every cuddle and hugging position possible with you!

Mingi

Lowkey loves that you’re tall too because he’s a big baby and it’s less overpowering when he falls on top of you laughing or cuddling, lol! Honestly, Mingi is another one that just thinks you’re so cool for being tall, probably oohing and ahhing at small things you do like reaching things or if you’re strong, too. Having a tall significant other feels like having a playmate to him, but he also loves that you’re that much closer to yank in for a kiss or just the feeling of you pressed up against him, your head close to his- it’s cute but can also be kinda hot. He teases you for being tall as if he isn’t too, unless of course you don’t like hearing commenting about your height! Endearing as heck forehead bonks ensue while Mingi’s either thinking really hard or in zero thoughts head empty mode. He jokes about absorbing your thoughts when he does it!

Wooyoung

Immediately puts his foot in his mouth and goes “Whoa how tall are you?” lmao but he really doesn’t mean it badly he’s just very social and teasing. So if you’re a fair bit taller than him he may make jokes like ‘what’s it like up there’ type of stuff… unless you tell him please don’t, of course. It’s not at all a bad thing to Wooyoung though, in fact he finds someone who can tower over him very appealing honestly! Also will probably ask if you can pick him up just for funsies hehe~ Because he loves to cuddle so much, Wooyoung will want you to be big spoon a lot of the time, probably an alternating spoon schedule lol. He would absolutely adore it if you guys danced and you dipped him, like man would be S W O O N I N G so please do it!!! You’ll get to see him grin for the next hour plus. Have fun in general tall queen/king/monarch because now you have Wooyoung as a backpack for life, good luck getting him to let go of you.

Jongho

Another one who, if you asked him, would prefer to be the taller one, but again not a deal breaker because he’s not that shallow. He’ll be extra proud to be able to lift you up if you’re a lot taller than him, hoisting you onto his shoulders with the most triumphant look! Jongho also really enjoys resting his head on your shoulder, whether your height difference is big enough for him to do it while you’re standing or he just does it while you’re sitting. It’s a small affectionate gesture he enjoys, same with loose hugs from behind, which again he might prefer from you if you’re tall enough! If not, that’s his job congrats. He isn’t much of a cheek kisser, but will do it sometimes because your cheek is so close, it’s just right there!!!

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #gender neutral reader #requested #snowqueen-01

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