#sometimes i worry im actually Not funny

[daily-crabbys]

Today's crab is: urchin for a fight

#daily-crabbys #crab #porter crab #its supposed to be like itchin. urchin #urchin for a fight #sometimes i worry im actually Not funny

[frazzledazzlin]

hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily

#bc i had not used this place in a while until late 2022 ive absolutely forgotten if i used to talk to myself in tags here before or not #i say this bc i now have people who actively see my art here n just throwing random rants here would be very rude so i prefer tags help #feels safer here too LOL #also feels a little scary but im sure that's normal for many that there are ppl who read all tags mein gott #NOT A BAD THING THAT PPL READ TAGS i wouldn't be writing anything if i wanted to kill people for reading tags lol #just stating observations aheem aheem #its like writing on a public bathroom's walls and people passing by to be like “damn bitch ok” /funny #also do not worry at all about how i express myself i do apologize if my words sometimes sound like im on the brink but like #violence is the only way i love to be expressive HELP #watch me be on the government watchlist for the shit ive said gootbyeeeeeeee #but do not feel worried i will be ok eventually every time. sometimes i just gotta explode oh so violently to deflate and feel normal again #WISH I COULD USE EMOJIS ON THIS DAMN PC #anyway the person im trying my damned to avoid is Sure Making It Difficult #at least the people i wanted to know why i was autotune crying baby for a while heard me out n im alive in that regard finally smile emoji #how long can you keep gently hinting you want to distance yourself from somebody until you lose your goddam mind and feel sweet relief when #they actually leave said group themselves after getting my blunt hints help help #oh i sound so fucking rude with just my side but mein gott i don't care bc it was never a serious thing to begin with #just shot my anger thru the roof for good reason and finalliegh im getting mutual distance from that person lol #never get close with ur fave artists worst mistake of my life /hj for real #u start off loving seeing them every time and then boom youre sad how things turned out every time you see them my god #also make sure ur minor friends dont feel like they need to mend things for the adults i feel so fucking sad for someone bc of this rn but #i talked to them n hopefully they understand aouhg. #anyway back to queer posting thats enough soup for today good god #ranting

[twinvictim]

1. How do I like a character whose entire life revolves around trying to save her brother no matter what she has to do because she loves him that much more than a character whose only personality is being really antagonistic and aggressively misogynisticly obsessed with a woman who at one point moved to a different part of the country partially to get away from him? Gee idk

2. I would like Akiyama more, like maybe Kazama and Sagawa tier If the games were more interested in pointing out that he's a horrible person. And he is. And maybe I'd like that he was a bad person more if I wasn't always being told he's a good person. It also just irks me that he's treated like he has real problems. Especially next to fucking Saejima and even Kiryu when he kinda just does a lot of this shit to himself and its easily fixable. He feels like a self insert anime protagonist in a way that annoys me. Sorry he's just not ad good a character as someone like Haruka or Daigo

3. It's my list

#crimson tomes #I AM BEING PETTY dont worry ab it #you could not have chosen two characters i feel much differently about. i mean granted i might bump Yasuko down a little but i like that- #she stole money from Akiyama and killed people and hss a big nose shes so awesome #i wish nagumo had died in 6 and im not joking i wouldve cheered ao loud #also man Akiyama annoys me but hes sometimes funny. which is why i dont HATE him and i like that hes completely wrong and useless in y5 #hes literally a bad person. he told a mom she didnt need his help bc she didnt immediately get a job as a sex worker bc he told her too #hes endlessly weird and creepy about yasuko. like she sort of opens up to him as a friend and he just forcibly kisses her. #bc she looks like his ex girlfriend.he doesnt actually care about her #and agsin. if the games didnt tell me hes a good guy i would like him more. #like they sort of do thst with Kazama but its shown hes a more complicated character outside of kiryus pov and hes also a good manipulator #im not mad i just love to complain and tslk about how i feel about characters even the ones i Hate

[bugdogg]

if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter

#tags are filled with worried rambling again #i hear a laugh track play whenever my anxiety flares up #im scared of what other people think of me which in itself is funny #ik others opinions of me arent an indicator of me being a bad person #other people arent gonna kno my whole personality from the stuff i draw #i fear judgement despite experiencing nothing but positive feedback on this site because i keep reading into the small things as negative #i know all this and still wither away in my shell knowing all this im saying is what id tell others if they were suffering with it #i walk in this circle and do it thousand times til i pass out from the exhaustion and later wonder y i was worried in the first place #i want to be able to say “who cares they dont know you” but ive been raised by people who spent almost every conversation- #with me basically saying they know me very well and know whats wrong with me and ive been raised believing everyone knows more than me #i worry of being so serious and actually genuine like this but this is how i like to be sometimes #stupidly thinking too much into things and laughing at myself for it and wondering why i would put myself down on something id encourage- #others to do #i worry about losing people because they wont like all of me but they wont know that unless they see the whole picture #i find myself disgusting w/ my thoughts and the things i wanna create but i dont think that of others and its strange #weird ass moment here..... #i had a really good day today got a job and finished my first tattoo #im happy right now despite the shit i just spewed #im figuring myself out for the first time in maybe years #i just wish all the hateful shit i absorbed over those years fades away soon #and i hope i stop caring so bad lol #anywayyyyy have a wonderful rest of your weekkk <3 if u read this

[lith-myathar]

.

#im actually being like.... really truthful lately with friends and family about what im going through and how my homelife #ACTUALLY was instead of having it buried under ten layers of my own internal rationalizations #and let me tell I'm getting some weird looks lately because to me it's all very old hat and even kind of funny #graveyard humor is kinda my thing #idk what to tell ya pals it's just ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ #i don't mean to make you uncomfortable but pls consider that im the person the shirt thing actually happened to #other trauma survivors get it. people who haven't lived with that tend to be kind of shocked or upset #i have to bite my tongue a lot sometimes #*shitty thing i am not retyping all that #a part of me worries it's a new defense mechanism? like floodlighting #it doesn't feel like that though mire just.... honesty #no longer avoiding or omitting things #if someone can't cope with that that really isn't my problem.

[majimassqueaktoy]

Haruka, being a very perceptive kid, quickly figures out that Kiryu and Majima have feelings for each other and on a semi regular basis asks when Kiryu will be hanging out with Uncle Goro or Aunt Goromi.

Tbf you wouldn't even need to be perceptive to realize Majima wants to smash your uncle he... wasn't shy about it. I actually prefer the idea that since, yk, he kidnapped her and attacked Kiryu in front of her 50 times she actually gets to behave like a kid who is weary of the new guy in her dads life and makes Majima's time whenever he visits a living hell. She uses the kidnapping as a catch all whenever he tries to be like "Aw I don't know if we should do that Haruka..."

"Remember when you KIDNAPPED ME, Majima-san?"

She still says it sweet as cherry pie but there's a bit of bite behind that smile and Majima is :( about it, because he should be.

#Haruka being like this to any of kiryus potential suitors actually would have been really funny #because shes so sweet and mature otherwise #like firstly shes genuinely worried about her ojisan gettin his heartbroken #but shes also a 12/13/14 yr old girl #have you guys ever been onea those or known onea those? #i made my mums boyfriend cry and lock himself in the toilet when i was 12 #i ised to staunch my brothers metalhead friends #suffice to say i just think haruka deserves to be a lil bit of a dastardly thing sometimes #theres been hints of it here and there and i think she deserved to go off the rails a lil bit once in a while #her being like Ojisan 😇 to date yuya kazuki akiyama but then she sees Majima and is like. Majima. #shes nice to Goromi but only because she knows shes working stuff out lmao #ask #aw yeah i dont really see kazumaji as like cute and domestic #i see them as like. fuck nasty after a fight one single time and never talk about it #and repress their feelings for life........ #so im not great at um. thinking of cute stuff for those two necessarily lmaoo #🌻

[gxlden-angels]

the only person who was actually right about the world and human nature was Max striner everyone else is a fucking moron

Striner? I hardly know 'er!

Anyways, I'm not a philosophy expert. I'm just some guy. I like the egoist belief that there isn't a universal moral truth. I like the absurdist belief that, because nothing matters, we should be radically sincere. I like the christian belief in a place without suffering after this life. I like the Universal Random Number Generator idea my therapist and I talk about

All of them have their flaws though. Egoism gets used to condemn social movements and civil rights advocacy. Absurdism and the RNG can create a sense of existential dread and a loss of motivation. Christianity encourages the loss of identity and free will

I'm just some psych student with a weird ass therapist that understands my weird ass brain. He encouraged me to look into absurdism since I took a class on absurdist literature my freshman year of college and he said I might enjoy looking into the actual philosophy. And I do! At least a lot of it! I like the idea of a chaotic universe and us humans trying our best to control it. I like the idea of letting that go and living authentically instead of with a direct purpose. There's chaos and mayhem and entropy and I'm just here to react to it. And I can react in ways that makes others happier if I wanted just because I can

Egoism/egotism feels too disconnected from the human need to connect to me. It traps me into that feeling that doing something good for someone is selfish if you're doing it to feel good. I'm actively working to get out of that spiral Christianity put me in now

I don't know, though, anon. I'm just some college student with an ex-christian tumblr blog and a lot of trauma. I like to believe there's some Universe-sized Abstract Computer with a random number generator that causes the chaos we call home. I skim wiki pages and reddit posts and decided if I want to engage any further/look for textbooks. I could possibly be looking at the wrong page about the wrong philosophy. I'm honestly just on this earthly plane for the bit

#if y'all are into philosophy I encourage y'all to look into it still just because it's interesting #As I understand it egoism/egotism is the belief that you only control one's own actions and awareness #and that all actions done by one's self is meant to benefit their own well-being #For me it sends me into a guilt spiral of worrying I'm not a good person because I feel good making others happy #because that would be selfish and that would make me bad actually #all of which I know if black and white thinking and we're all a little selfish sometimes. it's good for us #Im just not at a place where I can really dive into that #Im a fan of absurdism because of my commitment to the bit #It's essentially the idea that the universe is chaotic and life doesn't matter/there's no purpose to life #And you can respond by finding a higher power/religion/purpose. endgame. or live life pushing against the chaos #Modern absurdism gives further options but I haven't quite learned enough to fully explain them yet #And given the nature of my blog I obviously didn't like religion nor am I secretly a ghost #So I like the idea of having no actual purpose I have to follow (like being christ like) #but this belief is also not for everyone. it's known to cause existential dread and crises #I loved absurdist literature though. My favorite is Beckett's plays they're so fuckin funny in a dark way #I love finding humor and committing to the bit in times of stress. That's essentially what this blog is lol #also there's 750 of y'all now that's fucking wild #anyways I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings about philosophy since it's been a bit of a growing hyperfixation lol #don't take this as a conversion attempt I actively am saying don't look into these things unless you enjoy philosophy #If y'all really like my absurdism rambles tho I'll write more about it but only if y'all ask. i'm not tryna influence y'all lol #ex christian #religious trauma #ask tag

[technologyvoid]

.

#tw eating issues #kinda funny how sometimes it takes like 3 of my friends yelling at me for me to get up and go get food #like at this point I'm just doing it for attention i think #i need constant assurance that my friends still care about me so i make them worry #tf is wrong with me actually #so much for being the therapist of the group #when I'm making my friends worry over me on purpose #In other news in the past 24hrs I've eaten like 5 handfuls of lychee and slept for 4 hours at most #great job me. amazing selfcare. really good at following what you preach here/sarc #I'm in the kitchen but I'm actively not hungry. or. my stomach is hungry but my mouth is not. if that makes any sense #i need to cook for new years tonight and instead im just sitting here cause standing up makes me dizzy #that's probably a side effect of not sleeping #whoops #oversharing o'clock #tw vent #mutuals if you see this: no you don't

[timegears-moved]

augh insecure about my ocs

#bwark #i sometimes worried that i get too influenced by others and end up copying them even though i swear im not #particularly emery's because there's a shocking amount of similarities with our ocs #bi trans girl popplio that knows a not-so-great bi brionne? check #half-evolved sneasels that were abandoned as eggs? check #shitty older fathers named odin? check #actually im gonna change it so that beat was hatched when they were abandoned. it makes more sense with them lashing out about it #dylan even feels like a fusion between marlow and jade. which is really funny considering marlow and jade's relationship #i'll get over it since we both know it wasnt intentional but i still wanna try and rework some of mine so they're not too similar #at least i can take some solace in that jade a cunty well-respected celebrity #meanwhile dylan is just a cunty pathetic guy

[frostbite-the-bat]

welp ! thats one thing done! welp ! time to entertain myself once more .... ! funnay rain world time ! unless someboday wants to bug me then Sureio Do So (I WAUNNA BE TALKGLED TO)

#mmm tho i wanna tewtown train again. maybe as less... extensively as yesterday? but yaknow. i want raine to catch up #though i think the club booster ran out since #well im actually using it for once and we got a shitload of club coins so i may just get a new one #raine needs that drop and we can KILL... #my goal is to quad managers. prolly not all of them ofc but!! some ! just for fun #i highly doubt quad pace is even physically possible so ofc not that #but i wanna try harder n harder mgrs bc so far ive only had quads for buck and misty #soon i can try brian too #holly would be possible at my power level by now #gah gotta do kudos on my guys tho #tho i can do archie frost winstoon + a friend combo for mgrs #sometimes my friends run into managers and i pull up two of my other accs its funny #DONT WORRY..! ILL SAVE YOU...!

[orcelito]

it's like. i find my questionable self-preservation kind of chaos funny but then im faced with the reality that Yes, rubbing my wrist on poison ivy could indeed result in me getting poison ivy and there is Nothing i can do about it now other than wait and im just kinda wondering like WELL sometimes there are consequences to my actions. and im wondering if there will be this time.

if it turns out that im not immune and i do get poison ivy i will take this as a sign that i need to Stop being so flippant about my health and safety no matter How funny i think it is

if im right and im immune and nothing happens then Well. Nothing Can Stop Me.

#speculation nation #it's all fun and games until u realize that Oh poison ivy is actually pretty unpleasant huh #and doing this purposefully when i know the risks is kinda Uhhhhhhhh questionable even if i did it with the assumption i Wont get hit w/ it #this is just like me One Week ago now idly snapping a rubber band on my wrist like 'haha funny marks' but then i got welts and #it didnt fade until like. Today. i had to spend a WEEK with marks on my wrist due to my idle lapse of judgement #like i swear i wasnt meaning it like they turned out it just kinda Happened and then the next day i was like '....Fuck' #the thing with my bad brain is that im so used to casual self destruction that i dont even pause to Think when smth could hurt me #impulse thinks that's irrelevant. and so i just do shit and then i have to face the consequences of my actions #full :O face bc im a dumbass who doesnt think things through #like. okay whatever i'll be fine but man. man. sometimes i worry about myself. #get in a questionable brain state when i dont think or care about the fact that smth im doing is hurting me. like last week. #and then i put my brain back on right and im like 'shit i have consequences to deal with' #it's like im different people at different moments and average me has to just. deal with that. ykno? #man. man. i know i got problems. but man. #self harm ment/ #negative/ #SORRY for the rant im just sorta aghast thinking about the fact that i literally rubbed my wrist on poison ivy #bc me yesterday thought it was a funny little experiment to pull bc im filled with the hubris of a god in the size of a chihuahua #i DO have a good chance of being immune. my dad is. and ive never had it despite being an outdoorsy person. #so like i will... Hopefully be fine. but yesterday's me was awfully unconcerned with the possibility of having a poison ivy rash #while today's me is like '...but wait isnt that Really Unpleasant?" #we'll see what life brings to tomorrow's me. hopefully i dont have to eat shit for the hubris of yesterday's me lol

[snekdood]

Idrc if you wanna find the politics in every piece of media you consume but personally i dont really care to all the time like idk. Like idk sometimes i just wanna enjoy shit w/o constantly thinking about the underlying politics or whatever? Sometimes its hard to ignore if its super rw based but still, a lot of other shit i just feel like im investing more energy into this shit than was intended for most ppl like idk. The underlying political implications of spirited away. Idk i just dont really care lol

#its a movie about an emotional journey so uh thats kinda my focus there bud #also ngl it does feel like ppl bring up this argument so they can keep coming to conclusions abt what the creator meant by whatever #when sometimes its not for that reason or not that deep. idk. i do feel like some of yall are married to being paranoid that whatever ur #consuming will somehow make you take on entirely different politics?? idk. but ill be real consuming things w not perfect politics only #really solidifies in my head that im right when i *do* actually think its worth psychoanalyzing. or maybe i end up neing wrong #in my assumptions. either way. im ok w critical thinking and then also not feel this weird need to shit on the media constantly #like i loathe family guy. some of the jokes are funny. most of the show is horrible. i dont talk about it bc i dont care. #im sorry lol like. what do you want from me #ive already thought about what about the show i dont like. its politics etc. and i dont watch it. but thats bc its kinda hard to ignore #the constantly shitting on everyone energy of the show. w other shit like idk. dora or something like?? im not spending my time #looking for the political flaws really?? probably there to learn spanish lol #ig i personally find tearing apart media all the time and finding its flaws to be like. a hobby people engage in. but they seem to see it #like as... political action..? ig i can see that being good for something like harry potter or whatever. but sometimes its like idk what u #guys fuckin want from me. you want me to analyze every fucking thing i watch always and forever? because for me the problematic and #off putting politics come off bery obviously when they come up. but as far as a lot of childrens shows go? idk. ig id be more focused #on the plot than the politics..? #ig its bc i kinda feel like... this isnt political action to analyze media all the time....... #i think a better use of your time is learning what you can actually do to change peoples minds to be more progressive personally? #ig if you do that w a piece of media often co opted by rwingers or something like that then its cool but idk #ig i worry about shit like. 'spongebob is a fascist' type takes lol. ig i dont feel like this is like... a great way to move ppl to the #left. esp since the only ppl who are gonna read your media analysis on tumblr is other leftists who already agree with you :|

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙who's gonna know | CS55˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: carlos sainz x ferrari admin!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: none just fluff

summary: in which a certain someone is trying to catch your attention but you are otherwise preoccupied

a/n: this was kind of hard to make there was a lot to fit in so i didnt make her like childhood friends w lando or anything LOL sometimes it's saur hard to fit too many plot points in smau 😭 hope it's ok tho!

request!!!: newly hired Ferrari social media manager ( literally jokingly simps over every driver despite being a Ferrari employee) who Carlos has a crush on and is trying to shoot his shot while the drivers are on his neck lol ..reader could also be lando's childhood (or not) best friend..it's upto you actually

sequel

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, yukitsunoda0511, and 72,284 others

pierregasly 🏙️

view all 8,284 comments

user5 so cute

user6 ily pierre

user7 luv pierre selfies

scuderiaferrari so hot! 🔥

pierregasly ???

charles_leclerc oh no ferrari admin

maxverstappen1 wrong account?

scuderiaferrari nope im on the correct account dont worry everyone :))

francisca.cgomes 😂😂😂

user8 HAHAHA

user9 omg this is so funny

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 81,799 others

danielricciardo 💤

view all 11,294 comments

user10 hiii daniel

user11 aww sleepy daniel so cute

user12 ADORABLE

scuderiaferrari hey daniel you look cool and hot as always 😎

danielricciardo awww thanks ferrari!!

charles_leclerc not again

carlossainz55 admin pays attention to everyone but us

scuderiaferrari hey charlos

carlossainz55 hey what you doing tonight?

danielricciardo not on my post please!

user13 ...wait

user14 is carlos trying to shoot his shot with ferrari admin 😭

user15 CARLOS??!

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 81,192 others

landonorris ⛄️

view all 18,283 comments

user16 he looks so cute

user17 so cosyy

user18 hi lando

user19 cue ferrari comment in 3 2 ...

scuderiaferrari dont get too close to the snow you'll melt it 🔥🔥

landonorris 😂

charles_leclerc 😐

user20 they're fed up now LOL

carlossainz55 STOP THIS!!

scuderiaferrari 😮

landonorris everyone stop being hostile it's my bad for being so hot

carlossainz55 🤨

scuderiaferrari 😍

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 21,973 others

yourusername ❤️💋🌹🍷🎈💥🔴🚗💄❗️

view all 3,112 comments

yourbff red era

landonorris she isnt taylor swift

yourusername why do you even know that's a taylor swift thing

landonorris im one of the girls alright?

charles_leclerc not sure who you're trying to impress but i know who you are impressing

yourusername is this a riddle i have to solve

user21 ???

user22 omg all of the red lol ferrari girllll

carlossainz55 🔥🔥

user23 oh carlos fancies her fr

user24 he wants her so bad it's left him rizzless

user25 fire emoji is lando norris levels of L rizz

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 12,104 others

charles_leclerc 👀

yourusername you have issues

user26 wait did he rizz her

user27 YES CARLOS

user28 omg

user29 is it just you two??!😼

user30 womp womp

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 38,928 others

yourusername love my job 🐎

view all 5,077 comments

user31 y/n and her red shoes

yourbff LOVE YOUUU proud of you

yourusername love you sm alwaysss

carlossainz55 we love having you around y/n ❤️

yourusername !!!! hehe ty my fav

landonorris 😂

carlossainz55 do you ever say anything besides laugh emojis, lando?

pierregasly 😂

charles_leclerc 😂

yourusername immature boys!

user32 what is going onnn

user33 carlos needs to ask her out already

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, charles_leclerc

carlossainz55 👍

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 719,296 others

carlossainz55 🐶

view all 12,822 comments

user34 IS THAT Y/N

user35 omg that's y/n????

user36 did carlos actually pull the ferrari admin

charles_leclerc interesting

pierregasly tell me more

landonorris i see

user37 THE COMMENTS???

user38 details nowwwww

scuderiaferrari ruff ruff!!

carlossainz55 grrr

user39 is this flirting

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 21,183 others

yourbff SOFT LAUNCHHHH???

yourusername 🤷‍♀️ who's gonna know

yourbff probably everyone

pierregasly 👀

user45 is it carlos

user46 if it's carlos u can tell us y/n :-))

charles_leclerc you're not sneaky, y/n

yourusername ?? dont know what ur talking about

charles_leclerc ur dating my teammate

yourusername baseless accusation

carlossainz55 posted a story

liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 51,830 others

user47 this is too convenient for it to not be y/n

user48 first y/n soft launches and now this?

user49 not u pulling the ferrari admin

user50 wow & haters said you couldnt do it

pierregasly wow

carlossainz55 ???

landonorris congratulations 🙌

carlossainz55 😎

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, yourbff, and 43,283 others

yourusername 💫

view all 7,273 comments

user51 she's trying to soft launch carlos but we already know

user52 CARLOS DEFFO BAGGED HER

user53 i can't believe carlos rizzed her up

user54 she's so motherrrr

charles_leclerc no comment

yourusername boooooo

charles_leclerc i know more than u think 👀

yourusername creep!!!

user55 LOL charles knows too

yourbff and you said who's gonna know 🤨

yourusername yeaaaaaaa my bad

user56 y/n carlos confirmed

THE END ❤️

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 fic #f1 x reader #smau #f1 imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz fanfic #cs55 #cs55 smau #cs55 fluff #cs55 imagine #cs55 x reader #maddie's smau

[luveline]

that spencer x bombshell one you just posted has me giggling and kicking my feet I think I’m in love with YOU 🫵

Now I’m thinking of spencer x bombshell where the team starts to not view reid as unwillingly tortured by her flirting. Like maybe Morgan makes a comment to reid about something he does and is like “don’t torture the poor girl” and he’s like oh shit I’M the one torturing too now?

im in love with YOU !! for you, ty for requesting ♡ fem

“Difficult,” you say, resting your head on the table. 

“I know.” Spencer wiggles his pen back and forth between two fingers, thinking hard. This case is proving to be indecipherable. None of the details want to add up, and no clear profile geographical or otherwise appears. 

“Useless.” 

“Who, me or you?” 

“Us.” You sigh morosely. “Mostly me.” 

You're not being serious. Spencer huffs a soft laugh and continues to turn the details over in his head. You open your notebook and scratch down a couple of sentences with a pen, a visual thinker. Your mind map turns to a second iteration and then a third. You can't connect the dots because they're too far apart from each other; Spencer can't do it either. Not alone. 

He scoots his chair as close to yours as possible, your knees touching, his elbow in your side. “Can I look?” he asks. 

“Of course you can. Sorry about my handwriting.” 

He shakes his head. Your handwriting is perhaps the only thing about you he wouldn't say was one hundred percent perfect. You can't control it like other things. It is perfect, in a way, because it's yours, but you've been writing quickly and he struggles to make out the occasional letter. 

He leans in toward the page. “What's this word?” he asks. 

You lean in to see it. “Coruscated.” 

“The swimming pool?” he asks, lifting his face to yours. You're closer now, and beautiful like this. He can see the powder under your eyes, the lines in your irises, the slight fading of your lipstick at the corners of your mouth. There's an eyelash on your cheek. He lifts a hand to wipe it away. “What's so important about that?” 

“It reminded me of something…” You pause as he touches your face. “Something…” Your voice lilts up in question, half-shudder. 

“Eyelash,” he explains, blowing it off of his finger. 

“Right,” you say, eyes oddly wide and soft at once, your eyebrows lifted at the starts. 

“You okay?” 

“Is she okay? Reid, you're torturing the poor girl. Give her some air,” Morgan says with a chuckle. 

Spencer leans backwards in surprise, no idea what Morgan could possibly mean. Your eyes relax as you regain some personal space, your hands coming together loosely in your lap. You laugh weakly. 

Spencer looks you up and down. He's torturing you? That doesn't make sense. For as long as you've known one another, the team has joked that your flirty ways and feminine wiles are too much for Spencer to handle. You once gave him an apology he didn't want, worried you actually were hurting him by being your playful self, and he'd set that straight immediately. You don't torture him. It's a lot of feelings to be doted on so much by you, and painful isn't one of them. Overwhelming, sometimes, and exciting, sure. 

He never realised he had the power to overwhelm you. Not until that moment. You offer a funny smile far from your usual smirk and try to steamroll Morgan's claim. “Guess I should've made a wish.” 

“What would you wish for?” Spencer asks quietly. 

You still. Morgan shakes his head in disapproval, but he laughs again and stands up. “I think they'd call that a taste of your own medicine, sweetheart,” he says to you. 

You meet Spencer's eye. “I think they would,” you say bashfully. 

For three blissful seconds, Spencer enjoys the reality of having made you flustered. You, gorgeous, confident you, left flushed and a little daunted by his casual actions and simple (maybe slightly flirtatious) questioning. But then he remembers how much he likes you and pushes it away. 

“Sorry,” he says, plastering a smile over uncertain lips, “I didn't mean to do that.” 

“No, it's okay.” 

He turns to your notes, but gives you a look from the side. “I hope you wished for someone to solve the case. We're never getting anywhere like this.” 

“Are you saying you can't?” You rest your chin in your hand. “And here I thought you were more than a pretty face.” 

You have a quick recovery rate, evidently. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[discotitsposts]

meant to be

Spencer trying and failing to flirt with you because you are oblivious to his attempts.

spencer reid x reader

i picture this as later seasons spencer maybe sometime around 12-14?

some mature themes mentions of sex at the end so 18+

writing this because i saw something about people who are bad at flirting and that’s literally me. (i hope ppl get the reference w the nickname)

Spencer had tried every day to get your attention romantically. It didn’t work. Nothing did. You were so oblivious to all of his flirting attempts. He figured maybe you had trouble understanding so he worked harder to make you think of him as more than a friend. He tried everything his genius brain could come up with.

He even made up a nickname for you, Bean, because you always had a coffee in your hand, and because he was taller than you.

Today you were getting coffee with him as usual. At your favorite coffee shop and library. You didn’t work at the BAU so you would eventually have to go to your own job so Spencer decided to try again.

Since you lived in the same building, neighbors in the same hall, he picked you up every morning. Drove you to get coffee and you each picked a book for each other and then he drove you to work.

He knocks on your door awaiting anxiously. You come out in your outfit, just a t shirt and jeans. you didn’t have a dress code at your job, you were an author and usually went into a nice office that the publishing company provided to write since you had a hard time focusing in your apartment. Too many distractions.

In Spencer’s car you make small talk as he tries to think of a way to flirt with you. Normally he’d call Morgan but his son was a toddler now so he was busy. He gets so lost in his head he doesn’t realize he just ran a stop sign on accident and almost hit someone.

He hears you yell “Spencer what the fuck!” and slams the brakes. The other car honks and his heart is pounding in his brain. He pulls to the side of the road and stops.

“Spencer. Breathe. It’s ok.” You worry tracing your face at the sight of his extremely fast breathing and you rub his back reassuringly.

“Holy shit.” He barely chokes out. His face is beet red and he looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Switch.” You tell him. He looks at you and feels comforted immediately by your face. “Let’s go, switch.” You get out of the car and switch sides.

‘So much for flirting’ he thinks. Then it hits him. When he picks your book for the day, he’ll give you a romantic story. Something that says ‘I really like you but I’m an idiot so I don’t know how to tell you but i’m not actually an idiot because im technically a genius but my fucked up life has ruined romance for me but i’d love to try it with you if you are okay with that.’

When you take over driving you don’t talk. You just focus on the road. You had even turned the music off. He hopes you’re not upset with him. That thought quickly dissipates when you pull into the parking lot and your face is beaming. You both race to the entrance and he gets there first and opens the door for you. You stick your tongue out at him and he smirks.

You order your usual drinks and he gets himself a breakfast bagel and you get a croissant. He puts the food at a table and you both get up to grab each other a book. You had yours picked since last night, The Godfather. It’s only a little over 400 pages so he’ll probably finish it by lunch time but at least it will be fun for him since it will make him think of you. At least you hope it does.

You have a habit of making funny commentary during movie nights. When you watched ‘The Godfather’ trilogy with Spencer he had laughed so hard he cried.

Meanwhile Spencer is searching rows of books looking for the right one. He moves to poetry but nothing feels right. He feels slightly frustrated so he moves back to classics and picks ‘A Little Princess’ instead. A favorite of yours you had read in elementary school. Not romantic but shows he knows you well.

When he makes his way back to the register to check the book out, you’re already seated munching your croissant. He makes his way to you and hides the book behind his back. You discreetly pull yours out of your bag and hide it the same way.

“1,2,3!” You both count at the same time and then reveal your books. Spencer cracks up when he sees the book you had picked. He had read this before but he enjoyed it because it reminded him of you. You both eat and finish your coffees. You look at each other.

“More?” Spencer asks.

“Obviously.” You answer. You both stand up and order more coffee.

Back in Spencer’s car you open the book and start reading. He’s about to put the key in the ignition when sudden confidence hits him. He doesn’t know if it’s the caffeine but he doesn’t care. He should kiss you right now. He stares at you until you look up.

“You’re going to be late for work if you don’t start that engine up soon Mr. Chauffeur.” You tease him.

He leans closer and puckers his lips slightly. He’s so filled with lust he just can’t wait anymore.

You look at him strangely. Was he trying to kiss you right now? Probably not. Truth was you were always so filled with doubt whenever you liked someone. Especially Spencer. He was just too handsome and sweet and perfect.

He leans in even closer to you and tilts his head. You, however, had gone back to your book and weren’t even looking at him.

“Does this make you uncomfortable” Spencer leans in closer. He closes his eyes and you lean down to reach for something from your bag. He doesn’t feel your soft lips on his and thinks he may have missed your face. He opens his eyes.

“Everything does. I have anxiety Spencer. All the time anywhere day and night. ” You reply while eating a yogurt you had found in your tote.

Spencer pulls away and smacks his forehead. He starts the car and drops you at your work and drives to the BAU feeling defeated. What would it take for you to realize how bad he wants you.

That night he decides to drop by your apartment. You had gotten a ride home from work by a friend tonight. He opens his door and walks the short distance to yours.

When his hand knocks on your door he feels nervous. You open the door and greet him.

“Hi!” You cheer.

“Hey, I was gonna order a pizza. You want?” He lies. He actually wasn’t the biggest fan of pizza. He didn’t eat it too often but it was your favorite food so why not.

“That would be great. I’m starving.” You clutch your belly dramatically. Which makes Spencer laugh.

He picks up the phone, “What would you like on the pizza m’lady.”

You tap your chin and think. “Sausage.” You reply. Spencer thinks of a way to flirt. Kind of.

“How much sausage would you like?” He asks smirking.

“Uhh, 5? I don’t know dude. The normal amount that goes on a pizza?” You answer sarcastically, going to your dvd rack to pick a movie. Spencer sighs. He calls and places the order and helps you pick a movie.

“How about ‘How To Be A Serial Killer?’ That’s a good one. I love Matthew Gray Gubler in this one so much.” You fan girl a little.

“Who the fuck is Matthew Gray Gubler? Also, no, not with my line of work. I need a break from that.” Spencer asks with a hint of jealousy in his voice. You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically.

“Ok, fine. how about a Disney Classic? Sleeping Beauty is my favorite.” You ask. Spencer nods. You put the movie on and grab two root beers from your fridge. Spencer thanks you when you hand him one and you lay a big fluffy blanket over you both. Not far into the movie the pizza arrives and you cheers Spencer with your pizza slice.

After you both eat and are full the movie is still on. You’re starting to feel sleepier by the second. Spencer offers you to lay with him and you take him up on it. He’s basically a giant teddy bear. He’s so warm and comfortable.

“I’ve got a real life sleeping beauty right here.” He whispers to you. You smile with your eyes closed. Too sleepy to open. He gets out from under you, to your dismay. He cleans up the trash from eating. He even washes some dishes you had left sitting. When he comes back, you’re still half awake. He sees you sneak an eye open to look at him and your smile after.

“It seems there’s a fair maiden who has fallen asleep. However can we wake her? What if she sleeps for a hundred years?!” He exclaims. You start giggling softly. He leans closer to observe you.

“I don’t believe it! She’s laughing in her sleep! Must be quite a funny dream. Wonder what it is. Only one way to find out.” He gently leans down and kisses your lips softly. This action puts you in shock and you’re blushing. He starts to pull away because doubts fill his mind. You grab his hair and pull him back in.

You both pull back and he starts to ask you,

“Were you ok with that?”

You cut him off, “Yes.” Then you rip your shirt off. Spencer’s in shock. He follows your lead and starts undressing. He picks you up and carries you to your bedroom. The kiss you’re sharing is deepening by the second.

“Fuck why is it so hot in here.” You complain.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Spencer had been kissing you on your neck sucking the skin softly. He lays you back on the bed. He makes you comfortable. He goes down on you and then fucks you like you’ve never been fucked before.

The next morning you woke up naked next to him flashes of last night replaying. You couldn’t believe it. Spencer was so passionate! You didn’t even imagine he liked you like that.

He groans next to you and turns over. You get up and put on some coffee. When you come back into the bedroom he’s awake and looking for you.

“Hey, coffee’s ready.” You lean over and kiss him. He groans too tired to give an answer. He pulls you into the bed and holds you longer.

With him, this felt so easy and realistic.

Then you realize something.

This was meant to be.

the end ♡

to anyone who read this far: hope u enjoyed reading!! please let me know if u enjoyed! xoxo

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mgg #matthewgraygubler #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid

[irndad]

if you’re still doing flower prompts i’d love either Rainflower or Purple Lilac with spencer <3

a/n: heyyyy im alive! writing from my trip, love you guys, don't know the wc! flower prompts

Rainflower - realizing that you/they love them/you back

It comes on all at once. 

Spencer- he’s never been particularly good at knowing when he’s feeling romantic. There wasn’t any experience with it. He knows that he’s hardly anyone’s dream guy- all awkward gangly limbs, too tall and too full of information that no one wanted to hear.

He’s carved out a little corner of the world that he can be seen in, that he can be loved in- but he’s never really been under the notion that someone could want him. Spencer knows that he’s lucky to have even this- to have people that ignite the prickly and irritating parts of himself and love him despite about this. And while he might fantasize, daydream about a life where he can lace his long fingers with those of someone who sees him only in a loving gaze of joy, Spencer knows that he’s not the kind of person that gets that. He’s being rational about it- most days, he’s able to relegate this desire to be filled with fantasy. 

Except- something has been up lately.

His best friend is probably the best person that he’s ever met in his life. She’s a consultant with the BAU, and it’s been nice to know her, in so many ways. She’s funny and kind in a way that never seems to have a victim. Spencer is not the kind of person that particularly values physical beauty, but she possesses it in such a large margin that it is difficult to ignore. He’s actually distracted by it sometimes, having to take extra mental attention to her words when all he is drawn to is the lovely curve of her Cupid’s bow, and the both light and heavy weight of her gaze in him. I like when you look at me, he thinks. She never makes him feel small. 

When they’d met, he was reluctant to her presence in most regards. Spencer knows that when he is focused, he can be a solitary creature, and that he’s an acquired taste. But she never seemed to need time to acclimate to him. From her first day, she listened to him when he spoke, and god, she squeezed his shoulder when she walked past him. 

She never had to try to like him. He was never a concession to her. 

This morning, she is late to work. He tries not to time it, but he enjoys the ritual of his mornings far more when he’s with her. He makes her tea and greets her first thing, and she asks about his evening the day prior. He tells her about whatever foreign film or Russian book he read the night before, a little too earnestly. She listens with her lovely doe eyes, sipping slowly as she transitions into her day. It doesn’t feel like patience with her- it feels like she actually cares what he has to say. Their routine is a warm radio crackle of familiarity, his favorite part of his day.

But she’s late today.

When she walks in, she’s a little frazzled and  so, so, adorable. She’s in a T-shirt that looks so familiar to him, and a pair of jeans that look lovely on her pretty legs. It’s a pleasure, looking at her. He wish he had more time to do it, wants to leisurely drink in the sight of her like he has all the time in the world, it never feels long enough to look.

Her hair’s frazzled and she’s just about 5 minutes late- Hotch hasn’t even come out of his office yet, but she’s clearly nervous.

“You’re okay,” he hears himself say, as she plunks down her bag on the desk, “I have your tea.” 

He doesn’t expect her to look up, but she does. She looks up at him and beams, and Spencer- his heart swells. She grabs the cup, dainty pretty fingers wrapped around the curve of it, and she beams her so-sweet smile at him, and god, his knees might buckle. Has it always been this way? 

He drinks in the sight of her, as she runs a hand through her hair in a worried, incredibly endearing gesture. She’s beautiful, he thinks to himself. He wonders aimlessly, that she might have been meeting with a man this morning. It might be the explanation for the dishevelment. 

The burning bit in his chest this causes is one that lacks explanation. It hurts in a way that he cannot explain- she is not a realistic dream for him to have. It’s not like he’s never thought about the idea of the two of them together. It’s a fleeting thought, like the consideration if your life if you could fly. It’s not a dream that warrants real consideration. 

But when their fingers brush, her light touch on his hand, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like if she wanted him.

“Thank you, Spence,” she says, warm voice dripping with gratitude and something in his heart warms at the nickname, “You’re my hero.”

She takes a sip of it, and closes her eyes in a contemplative, restful moment. It’s unfairly adorable.

He’s never actually thought about it, until this moment. But her beauty transcends just being pure fact, a thing to note about his reality. It would be nice, Spencer thinks. It hits him like a tidal wave, images of her gorgeous laugh washing over him on a Sunday morning, the curve of her cheek, a world where he can hold her by the dip of her waist, where her ever-present kindness meant that she might, could, maybe, love him.

Love him back.

She has whipped cream on her finger. She took the lid of the drink off to have the whipped cream. 

He is so, so fucked. 

“Have I told you that I love you today, boy-genius?” 

Even though she’s kidding, and he stammers out a reply of acknowledgment, it is in this moment he knows, with the certainty of every empirical journal he has ever read. 

Spence Reid is hopelessly in love with his best friend, and there is absolutely nothing he can do about that. 

It’s still nice to want, though. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n