#SORRY for the rant im just sorta aghast thinking about the fact that i literally rubbed my wrist on poison ivy

[orcelito]

it's like. i find my questionable self-preservation kind of chaos funny but then im faced with the reality that Yes, rubbing my wrist on poison ivy could indeed result in me getting poison ivy and there is Nothing i can do about it now other than wait and im just kinda wondering like WELL sometimes there are consequences to my actions. and im wondering if there will be this time.

if it turns out that im not immune and i do get poison ivy i will take this as a sign that i need to Stop being so flippant about my health and safety no matter How funny i think it is

if im right and im immune and nothing happens then Well. Nothing Can Stop Me.

#speculation nation #it's all fun and games until u realize that Oh poison ivy is actually pretty unpleasant huh #and doing this purposefully when i know the risks is kinda Uhhhhhhhh questionable even if i did it with the assumption i Wont get hit w/ it #this is just like me One Week ago now idly snapping a rubber band on my wrist like 'haha funny marks' but then i got welts and #it didnt fade until like. Today. i had to spend a WEEK with marks on my wrist due to my idle lapse of judgement #like i swear i wasnt meaning it like they turned out it just kinda Happened and then the next day i was like '....Fuck' #the thing with my bad brain is that im so used to casual self destruction that i dont even pause to Think when smth could hurt me #impulse thinks that's irrelevant. and so i just do shit and then i have to face the consequences of my actions #full :O face bc im a dumbass who doesnt think things through #like. okay whatever i'll be fine but man. man. sometimes i worry about myself. #get in a questionable brain state when i dont think or care about the fact that smth im doing is hurting me. like last week. #and then i put my brain back on right and im like 'shit i have consequences to deal with' #it's like im different people at different moments and average me has to just. deal with that. ykno? #man. man. i know i got problems. but man. #self harm ment/ #negative/ #SORRY for the rant im just sorta aghast thinking about the fact that i literally rubbed my wrist on poison ivy #bc me yesterday thought it was a funny little experiment to pull bc im filled with the hubris of a god in the size of a chihuahua #i DO have a good chance of being immune. my dad is. and ive never had it despite being an outdoorsy person. #so like i will... Hopefully be fine. but yesterday's me was awfully unconcerned with the possibility of having a poison ivy rash #while today's me is like '...but wait isnt that Really Unpleasant?" #we'll see what life brings to tomorrow's me. hopefully i dont have to eat shit for the hubris of yesterday's me lol