#sometimes he does it just to see if ge can recover

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

obsessed w jensen and bryce racing on literal public roads (not like fr but also whoever loses usually has to do some unwanted chore) bc bryce KNOWS jensen is willing to push the limit way more than he is. but also sometimes jensen is either 1 stupid or 2 lets him win so,, it works

#jensen is completely whipped yes #if bryce says he really doesnt want to do something jensen will make a stupid decision on purpose #sometimes he does it just to see if ge can recover #sometimes he does it just bc he is in love #depends on the day fr #anyway jensen on his motorcycle taking of my brain once again #the first time bryce sees him take off the helmet and gloves he is a mess #i always imagine he was talking w raf when it happened and fully stops mid sentence #(remember this is bryce lahela who would chat his way through an apocalypse) #and is basically fucking drooling #face red as fuck too #like looking over rafs shoulder in the parking lot just losing his shit #raf is like uh you okay? amd goes to turn and bryce is like STFU DONT DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF #GOD DO YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SUBTLY #literally using raf to shield himself while he stares #raf is like bitch pull your shit together #bryce lahela × jensen valentine

[symphorine]

i’ll make you feel alive with me, alive with me

T, 5,909 words, Guo Changcheng/Chu Shuzhi, Complete

Canon-Typical Violence, Getting Together, Minor Injuries, Sharing a Bed, Holding Hands, hands are a focus. don't worry about it, set at some ambiguous time during canon

It’s dark; the only light comes from very slim windows at the very top of the walls, and most of them are obscured by dirt and broken tiles. Guo Changcheng can barely make out Chu Shuzhi, just a few feet away from him.

“Ah, hold on!” Guo Changcheng opens his bag and rummages through it, then brings his phone out, turning on the flashlight. “This should help,” he says, looking up.

The basement is empty.

_______________________________________

Guo Changcheng does detective work, gets hurt, and spends some time with Chu Shuzhi.

I wrote this *checks notes* almost two years ago, then got into a writing slump so bad I couldn't even look at it again for editing. Finally got the courage to ask my friends to read it, which made me able to read it also, and dust it off to send it into the world. I'm not actively into Guardian anymore, but my god I do love Guo Changcheng and Chu Shuzhi still. Thank you Raleigh, Robin and K for encouragements.

Enjoy! Remaining typos are my own. Title is from Love me blind by Thick as thieves, which is my go-to chuguo song.

Title is AO3 link, but I also have the fic under the cut.

Guo Changcheng fiddles with the strap of his bag while reading his notes. Most of the witness statements are confusing and hard to make sense of, as much as he’s tried. Their culprit is described as both tall and short, an old woman and a teenager, fat and stick-thin, and that’s only when the witnesses actually saw a person. If all the incidents hadn’t happened close to each other, the SID would probably not have been involved, and this would have gone under their radar. He blinks furiously and rereads the page from the top, frowning like it’ll help him make out the characters better. He has to find something, he has to, or Chu-ge…

“Changcheng.”

Guo Changcheng jumps around, eyes wide. “Chu-ge! But I thought- Are you okay? Are you recovered?”

Chu Shuzhi huffs. “Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. The chief sent me to see if you needed help.”

Guo Changcheng relaxes. “I’m glad you feel better. It was… it was scary.” He swallows and turns back to his notebook, flipping back a few pages. “Several of the people we’ve talked to reported things happening around the same building. That’s all I have so far,” he adds, looking down.

“Sounds like enough to me,” Chu Shuzhi says with a half smile. “Let’s go.”

It’s a short enough walk to the building; an old schoolhouse, abandoned for a few years now. Guo Changcheng had looked it up: the roof and walls had been falling apart, sometimes on the students, and the city had organized a hasty transfer and shut it down when the teachers’ room had flooded. It is now a decrepit, empty building, covered with climbing vines and ivy, waiting for the day it will finally be torn down and repurposed. Guo clutches at his bag and steels himself before opening the gate to the courtyard, and hears Chu Shuzhi chuckle behind him.

“Afraid of ghosts?” Chu Shuzhi asks, walking past him.

“No!” Guo Changcheng replies, definitely too fast. He has reasons to be, okay? With their job, meeting ghosts is definitely in the realm of possibilities; and he’s been uneasy since Chu-ge got taken down by their criminal of the week. Sure, he seems okay now, but…

Guo Changcheng frowns, something nagging at the back of his mind, but Chu Shuzhi is already at the door of the building, looking back at him impatiently, and so he rushes forward instead.

The interior looks mostly like Guo Changcheng had expected: dusty, with lots of debris and bits of plaster littering the floor, and some hardy plants growing from the cracks in between the tiles of the hallway.

“Stay behind me,” says Chu Shuzhi, glancing at him before going down the corridor. He opens the door to the old classrooms as silently as possible (not very), and Guo Changcheng stands at the ready behind him, peering over his shoulder with his electric baton ready. He tenses at every door, but they reach the last one without anything happening.

“Maybe this place has nothing to do with the attacks,” Guo Changcheng says, lowering his weapon and stepping back.

Chu Shuzhi turns back towards him. “We should check the whole thing anyway.”

“The whole thing?”

“There’s a basement.” Chu Shuzhi nods towards a sign right next to Guo Changcheng’s head. When he turns around, he sees the faded and scratched characters white characters on the sickly green sign, and the double doors next to it.

“Oh.” Guo Changcheng sighs a little. “Okay.”

Without waiting for his mind to tell him it’s a terrible idea, he pushes the doors open and walks in, almost falling down the steep stairs.

“Be careful!” Chu Shuzhi snaps, glancing at him to make sure he’s unharmed before going down the stairs himself.

And this - makes Guo Changcheng pause. Chu-ge… Chu Shuzhi - this Chu Shuzhi - hasn’t touched him once since meeting him earlier. And Guo Changcheng feels a little guilty for noticing, his ears growing warm, but he’s used to (enjoys probably a bit more than he should) Chu-ge’s many casual touches; rough, often, yanking him back from danger or pushing him out of the way. Gentle, other times, a warm hand over Guo Changcheng’s neck, a comforting one on his shoulder.

He hadn’t even tried to hold him back from falling down. And the witness accounts...

“You coming or not?” Chu Shuzhi calls, scowling at him.

“Yes!” Guo Changcheng steps inside, the doors closing behind him with a soft whoosh. “Sorry, Chu-ge.”

It’s dark; the only light comes from very slim windows at the very top of the walls, and most of them are obscured by dirt and broken tiles. Guo Changcheng can barely make out Chu Shuzhi, just a few feet away from him.

“Ah, hold on!” Guo Changcheng opens his bag and rummages through it, then brings his phone out, turning on the flashlight. “This should help,” he says, looking up.

The basement is empty.

Someone grabs him from behind violently, sending his phone and his baton both tumbling to the ground way too far for Guo Changcheng to reach them, and pulls his arms tightly behind him.

“Now,” says Chu Shuzhi’s voice, cold and angry and unlike anything he’s sounded like in a long while, “you’re going to be a good little hostage and tell me about the SID.”

Guo Changcheng swallows. “Chu-ge?” he asks, more for show than anything else. He tries to wriggle out of his attacker’s grasp, but they only tighten their hands - Chu Shuzhi’s hands and yet not - to the point of hurting enough to make him gasp.

“I’m not your Chu-ge. Fuck that man,” they say, wearing his face, and it makes anger spark in Changcheng’s chest. “Now tell me. Who else knows about me?”

“All of us,” Guo Changcheng says, before whimpering. “You won’t get away.”

“Dammit,” they murmur. “I guess we’re in for the long haul, then.”

They let go of one of Guo Changcheng’s arm, their hand coming up to his throat, but he’s ready. With a pained cry, he throws himself backwards and elbows them, flailing his limbs with as much energy as he can. The fake Chu Shuzhi’s grip loosens for a split second in surprise, and Guo Changcheng lunges forward, slipping out of their reach and throwing himself at his baton but falling just a bit short

“You little rat!” they hiss, and they’re on him before he has even managed to scramble up. “I’ll teach you!”

They pull their fist back, and Guo Changcheng can only hold his arms in front of him, thinking back to Chu-ge injuries, the way his jaw had looked like it had been split apart, his legs swollen and bleeding with open fractures, and he thinks, I’m going to die.

When the fist connects with his arm, Guo Changcheng screams. It feels like his bones are splintering, the pain reaching his shoulder, his heart, his neck, unbearable in its intensity. The fake Chu Shuzhi grins and prepares for another punch while Guo Changcheng reaches back, hoping for anything, anything he can use- 

His fingers close on his electric baton and he brandishes it, terrified, sending all the strength of his fear in violent electric currents point blank in his attacker’s face with so much force that Guo Changcheng drops it.

The light from the electricity blinds him, and for a moment after it subsides, he thinks he missed - he wasted his shot, and he going to in horrible pain and-

But there are no other noises than his laboured breath, and he slowly, slowly sits up, trying very carefully not to let his left arm brush against anything (he fails, and it hurts a lot). He blinks a few times, listening for any sign that the fake Chu Shuzhi is still up and moving, about to hit him again, but it’s only when his own breathing calms down that he can hear the other, faint and shallow.

“Oh,” Guo Changcheng says, and then repeats when he feels his whole chest hurt as he speaks. His arm is throbbing and the pain makes him nauseous, but he makes himself sit up and look around, and finds his phone. The screen is cracked, but still functional, and he turns the flashlight on again, shining it before him.

The body of Chu Shuzhi is lying prone, eyes closed, chest rising and falling. There’s a huge burn on his face going down and under his shirt, and Guo Changcheng almost panics again before he remembers it isn’t Chu-ge. He still feels a little bad - he never means to hurt people permanently, or at all if he can help it - but the pain and the adrenaline overwhelm him, and he lies down on the mercifully cold floor, dialling the office’s number before passing out.

  Professor Shen sits back and puts Guo Changcheng’s arm down, the pain finally reduced to a mere ache.

“Thank you,” Guo Changcheng says.

“It’s not entirely healed. You will need a splint, and painkillers.” Professor Shen looks down, apologetic. “That’s all I can do for now.”

“It’s more than enough,” Guo Changcheng reassures him. “Thank you so much.”

Chief Zhao interrupts before professor Shen can reply. “If I let you two go on, we’ll be at it until tomorrow,” he sighs. “Someone should be here in a couple minutes to patch you up the normal way. You did good work,” he adds, his voice serious. “How did you realize it wasn’t Lao Chu? Far as I could tell, the replica was perfect. Did he say something wrong?”

“No,” Guo Changcheng says before he can think of lying. “He, uhm. I, uh, just thought it was strange that he had recovered already,” he mumbles - he tries not to think of the intense relief he had felt, or the lack of suspicion.

“Hm. Yeah, I guess even if Shen Wei had helped out, it was fast,” Chief Zhao said pensively. “Well, either way, that probably saved your life.”

Guo Changcheng shudders. “Yes,” he says. “I’ll write it all in my report.”

“You do that.” Chief Zhao goes to pat his shoulder, but remembers Changcheng’s injuries at the last moment, and settles for an awkward thumbs up before taking his hand back.

“Guo Changcheng?” A nurse calls, standing in the door.

Professor Shen rises and Chief Zhao grins. “Ah, that’s our cue. Now, be good and don’t go fighting perps on your own again,” he says, wagging his finger at Guo Changcheng.

“I won’t,” Guo Changcheng promises.

They leave and the nurse comes over, inspecting his arm with a puzzled frown, but she only makes idle chat while applying the splint and giving him painkillers.

“This is a peculiar injury,” she says when she’s done, “so I don’t know how long exactly it will take to heal. I’d advise you to keep the splint on for at least a week, and then come back here for another look. Take painkillers whenever needed, we’ll give you a prescription.” She stands up and gathers her tools, but stops before turning around. “Oh, I almost forgot! Your friends told me to tell you your other friend is in room M202.” She looks at him with raised eyebrows, and smiles when he nods. “You should find him awake.”

“Thank you,” Guo Changcheng says again.

He hops off the examination table and goes through the door that she’s kindly holding up for him. He pauses outside, not sure where the room is, and she points left with an amused smile.

Guo Changcheng thanks her once more and watches her go in the opposite direction, waving awkwardly with his right arm - he’d gotten mostly nasty bruises on it, and it hurts still, but not nearly as much as the left one had.

Room M202 is a little further, in a less busy part of the hospital. Guo Changcheng hesitates when he finds himself in front of it. Should he knock? What if Chu-ge is resting? He probably needs it a lot. What if he’s too tired and Changcheng is just making things worse?

Before he can take a step back, though, he thinks again of the fake Chu Shuzhi - restraining him, hitting him, lying on the ground with a burn scar across his face. Guo Changcheng doesn’t know if it stayed when the Dixingren had switched back to his own appearance. He isn’t sure he wants to know. But he wants- he wants to see the real Chu Shuzhi, without the scar and with the kinder hands.

Guo Changcheng pushes the door to find Chu Shuzhi sitting up, already looking at him, with a half smile Guo Changcheng had seen just earlier today.

“Thought you’d never come in.”

“Sorry.” Guo Changcheng closes the door behind him and walks closer. There’s a chair next to the bedside, and he sits gingerly in it. He’s still quite sore from the fight.

“Dumbass,” Chu Shuzhi says. “Stop apologizing for nothing.”

He reaches out, his hand warm and familiar on Guo Changcheng’s neck, and he melts into the touch, just a little.

“Yes, Chu-ge,” he replies with a smile. “How are you doing?”

“I should ask you that.” Chu Shuzhi’s smile falls away, but his hand stays where it is, tightening in a way that would be imperceptible if Guo Changcheng wasn’t so aware of Chu Shuzhi’s touches - today especially.

“I’m fine, Chu-ge,” Guo Changcheng lies, because he isn’t above it. “Barely a scratch left.” He holds up his left arm with a wince. “Well, a bit more, but it’s a lot better now that professor Shen helped.”

This does not satisfy Chu Shuzhi. He takes his hand back and his face tightens. He stares at Guo Changcheng for a moment that seems to stretch forever, then looks down. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been here to protect you.”

Guo Changcheng smiles softly. “Now who is apologizing for nothing?”

“I’m not-” Chu Shuzhi grinds his teeth and glares at his hand, resting upon the light hospital blanket, tightened in a fist.

“I was able to take him down thanks to what you taught me, Chu-ge,” Guo Changcheng says. His voice is low, like his throat is too tight to let all of it come through. “And you- you were injured so badly, I couldn’t-”

“But he had my face,” Chu Shuzhi spoke to his hand still. “If I hadn’t been so useless, it wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t even have had to go there and…”

He trails off, and Guo Changcheng looks at Chu Shuzhi’s hand too. “You weren’t useless. He’s powerful. It’s a miracle you’re still alive,” he adds in a whisper.

Chu Shuzhi snorts. “Just good old Dixingren tricks. We’re lucky to have the Black Cloak Envoy.”

“We are,” Guo Changcheng murmurs.

Quiet falls between them again, punctuated by both of their breaths; regular, strong, Guo Changcheng thinks as he watches Chu Shuzhi’s chest rise and fall. They’re both alive, and a little worse for wear, and the silence becomes awkward in a way Guo Changcheng is surprisingly not used to.

Because there seems to be nothing else to do, and because he’s been wanting to since he came in, Guo Changcheng reaches out and grasps Chu Shuzhi’s hand with his, his long fingers folding around Chu-ge’s calloused ones.

Chu Shuzhi looks up sharply, but the corners of his eyes are soft and his mouth is half open, and Guo Changcheng's heart does strange things upon seeing Chu-ge look so unguarded.

"He had my face," Chu Shuzhi says again. "Changcheng, are you…"

He doesn't finish, but Guo Changcheng thinks he knows. Are you afraid? Do you trust me still? 

He shakes his head and holds Chu-ge's hand more firmly. "I'm fine," Guo Changcheng says, and this time it is the truth. "I'm okay. We're fine."

Chu Shuzhi does not reply, but he turns his hand over and slots his fingers between Changcheng's, his grip warm and comfortingly strong, and they stay like that for a while.

  "Um. What?" Guo Changcheng blinks, not sure that he heard right.

"You heard me right!" Chief Zhao says, shattering his hopes. "You've got functioning legs, Lao Chu has working arms, between the both of you, I'm sure you'll figure things out."

"But um. Uh." Guo Changcheng looks down at his arms - free of the splint, but still sore and fragile. "That doesn't seem very… Wouldn't it be better if someone else helped Chu-ge? Someone who, um, isn't injured at all?"

Chief Zhao waves his objection off with a nonchalant gesture. "And who do you think Lao Chu would tolerate in his home? You're literally the only person who's been there other than Shen Wei."

"Oh," Guo Changcheng says faintly. "That's… that's a good point, I suppose."

"You suppose?" Chief Zhao tuts disapprovingly and starts unwrapping a lollipop. "Youth these days, no respect for authority. Well, go now! You've got your assignment!"

Which is how Guo Changcheng finds himself helping Chu Shuzhi up the stairs to his apartment. He only lives on the first floor, thankfully, but he is very clearly unhappy about the crutches. He leans back when they get to his door and Changcheng slides the key in, then Chu Shuzhi hobbles in with a low but steady stream of curses.

Chu-ge is usually so dextrous, Changcheng reflects as he closes the door behind them. It’s strange to see him struggle so much with the crutches - although it is also quite funny to see how much he loathes the things. As soon as he's taken off his shoes and made his way to the couch, Chu Shuzhi tosses away the offending objects. His puppet flies out of sight, probably to check everything is where it should be.

"Would you like some tea, Chu-ge?"

"Sure." Chu Shuzhi looks at him and nods towards the kitchen. “You know where it is.”

Guo Changcheng busies himself with putting the kettle on and gently pouring the loose leaves in a strainer. He’d bought the tea for Chu-ge, as a very unofficial and entirely deniable birthday present, and it makes him smile to see more than half of it is gone.

He brings empty cups into the living room, and then the pot of tea, cradled between both his hands, careful not to drop it. He pours the tea and hands the first cup to Chu-ge, who takes it with a mumbled thanks. Guo Changcheng watches him bring the steaming cup to his mouth, inhale the floral scent of the tea with obvious pleasure, and busies himself with pouring his own cup to hide his smile.

They sit like this for a while, in companionable silence. Guo Changcheng is grateful for it; his aunt has been fussing over him ever since the - incident, and his uncle hovers around him whenever he lifts a single finger. It’s touching, but tiring.

He lets his eyes wander over the room. He’s been here before, but little has changed: the walls are still bare (except for a row of coat hangers that predates Chu Shuzhi’s tenancy), as is the scuffed wooden floor, but the mismatched furniture is clean and neat. The couch is getting older, but is covered by a nice comforter, and he hears the soft clicks of the clock that he knows hangs in the kitchen (also there independently of Chu Shuzhi; Changcheng had found it at the back of a cupboard and insisted on getting batteries for it).

“Changcheng,” Chu Shuzhi starts, breaking the peaceful quiet.

“Chu-ge?” Guo Changcheng looks at him, and is surprised to see a complicated expression on Chu Shuzhi’s face. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, and eventually says, “Nevermind.”

“What’s wrong?”

Chu Shuzhi huffs. “I said nevermind.” He turns around and uses his strings to grab the crutches, and hauls himself up on them.

“What are you doing?” Guo Changcheng asks, puzzled.

“Getting stuff out for dinner,” Chu Shuzhi grumbles as he hobbles into the kitchen.

Guo Changcheng puts his cup down so fast the last of the tea almost sloshes out. “I’ll help!”

“Sit down! Aren’t you supposed to rest your arms, dumbass?”

“You shouldn’t be standing around so much either!” Guo Changcheng replies, definitely not whining, as he follows Chu Shuzhi in the kitchen anyway. “I’m supposed to take care of you! Chief’s orders!”

“Yeah?” Chu Shuzhi grunts, dropping one of his crutches to reach for the fridge. “Well, I’m supposed to take care of you. Go sit.”

Guo Changcheng shakes his head. “I can help as long as it’s not too heavy.”

Chu Shuzhi inhales sharply and spins around. “Listen-” he starts, clearly worked up, holding a box of leftovers in one hand and pointing the other at Guo Changcheng.

He starts taking a step forward, and Guo Changcheng meets Chu Shuzhi’s eyes at the exact moment they both realize he’s going to fall.

Guo Changcheng lunges forward, arms outstretched and ready to catch Chu-ge, but they crumble under the weight and force of Chu Shuzhi’s fall, and they both fall to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs and pained exclamations, very soon aching too much to even try to sit up, and stay there in dead silence as the container of leftovers spins on itself for a very, very long moment before landing (thankfully) upright.

They stay silent some more, until Guo Changcheng looks up and catches Chu Shuzhi’s dismayed expression, and can’t help but start laughing. It hurts his body - he’s definitely gained some new bruises - but he can’t stop, and eventually, Chu Shuzhi relaxes and lets his hand fall back down with a soft thud and a smile.

“Are you hurt?” he asks when Guo Changcheng eventually manages to calm down.

Guo Changcheng shakes his head. “I think I’m okay.” He starts carefully (and a little regretfully, but nobody else has to know) detangling himself from Chu-ge. “Are you?”

“I’m fine.” Chu Shuzhi leans up on his elbows, and doesn’t push Guo Changcheng away when he helps him sit up and hands him his crutches.

“I think we’d better order food, Chu-ge.”

Chu Shuzhi hums, amused. “Probably.”

They make their way back to the couch together, and Guo Changcheng pours them more tea before curling up on his side of it, while Chu-ge orders for them.

 “Thanks," Chu-ge says when he's done, but he doesn't grab the cup. Instead, he puts his phone down and turns towards Guo Changcheng, face carefully blank.

"Are you really fine?"

"Yeah! It hurts a little," Guo Changcheng admits sheepishly, "but-"

"That's not- It's good that you're healing, but I meant more…" Chu Shuzhi makes a face. "Mentally."

Guo Changcheng's mouth hangs open for several seconds before he remembers to close it. He struggles, unsure what to reply, his thoughts swirling in a confused maelstrom.

"I- I think so? I mean, yes," he says, more firmly than he truly feels.

Chu Shuzhi looks dubious for a moment. "You've been jumpier than usual. And you…" He pauses, frowning. "You look afraid whenever I touch you."

Something very cold bursts in Guo Changcheng’s belly, spreading to his chest and back and making it hard to breathe. He’s been a lot more reactive to Chu-ge’s touches, it’s true. Each one means that the Chu Shuzhi with him is the real one; they also remind him, sometimes, of the impostor, of his strength and the pain he’d inflicted, both on him and Chu-ge, of the moment of sheer terror he’d experienced when Chu Shuzhi had been dragged into the SID office by a wide-eyed Chief Zhao, bloodied and broken and unconscious.

Guo Changcheng does not consider himself vindictive, but when he’d seen the Dixing man who’d attacked him, his own face on, the large scar inflicted by Guo Changcheng still there, he had felt no regret.

He swallows. “I’m not afraid of you, Chu-ge. I promise. I just- it’s hard to not think about, at least some of the time. I was so scared...” He trails off, words stuck just behind his tongue.

Chu Shuzhi’s shoulders are still tense, but he nods after a minute. “It won’t happen again.”

It’s Guo Changcheng’s turn to nod, the cold feeling in his chest slowly seeping out of him. He doesn’t trust himself to talk, but he stretches his legs a little, wiggling his toes under Chu Shuzhi’s thigh, and settles like that.

The rest of the evening passes in between idle chatter and familiar silence, and appreciative slurping noises when their food arrives. It’s warm inside, and the couch is comfortable, and Guo Changcheng eventually finds that his eyes are closing of their own accord while he scrolls through his phone, looking for interesting tidbits to relay to Chu-ge.

Chu-ge snorts when Changcheng is interrupted by his own yawn for the fourth time in a row. “I think you should go to bed.”

Changcheng rubs his eyes and shakes his head. “I don’t want to chase you from the couch if you don’t want to sleep.”

“The couch?”

Changcheng hums, a little surprised by the question. “Yes! Where I’ll sleep?”

Chu Shuzhi frowns. “You’re not sleeping on this. It’s shit.”

“But then-” Changcheng meets Chu-ge's eyes, and he tilts his head back towards the bedroom. “Oh.”

“What?”

“It’s fine,” Changcheng rushes to say. “It’s fine? If it’s okay with you.”

“I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t.” Chu-ge nudges him. “Just go lie down, you look like you’re about to fall over.”

Changcheng blushes, but he can’t deny he’s exhausted. “Okay. Good night, Chu-ge.”

He stops in the bathroom first; he does his best to clean his teeth without a toothbrush, and splashes some water on his face, wiping it with his sleeve.

He’s stayed overnight before, during some truly difficult cases, but he’s never slept in Chu-ge’s apartment. When Changcheng turns the bedroom light on, he notes that the bed looks very inviting, and not just because he’s desperate to fall asleep. The bedroom looks nicer than the rest of the place; there’s a smaller bed to the side for Chu-ge’s puppet, a pair of black pants hanging out their drawer, and a book resting upside down on the bedside table. It’s not like the walls look less ancient or the floor in better condition - it just looks more like Chu-ge spends time there.

Changcheng hesitates for a second, then takes off his pants and his sweater and folds them neatly before placing them on top of Chu-ge's drawers. It's not quite cold without his clothes on, but he still hurries under the covers. He has to wriggle for a while to find a position that doesn't hurt, but he manages to take up only a third of the bed. It seems fair, Changcheng thinks: Chu-ge is basically twice as large as he is.

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, counting out how long he inhales and exhales to calm down. He is exhausted; part of the reason is that he hasn’t been able to sleep very well. He knows, theoretically, that the danger has passed, but it’s harder to believe it when he’s alone in the middle of the night.

He listens to the distant sound of Chu-ge shuffling around the flat, throwing away the empty containers from their meal, then going back to the couch, calling out to his puppet, giving a displeased grunt - maybe at the crutches, Changcheng thinks with a smile. Before he knows it, he slips into unconsciousness.

He blinks awake some time later. He has no idea where he is or what woke him up, at first, until he feels the bed dip next to him and sees Chu-ge's face, lit by the soft glow of the streetlights standing outside, a few floors below.

"Go back to sleep," Chu Shuzhi murmurs, tugging the blanket so it covers them both.

"Mhm." Changcheng looks up blearily, letting his eyes linger on Chu-ge's face. He traces his jawline, up to his ears, his cheekbones, his handsome nose and his eyes. Oh, his eyes, Changcheng thinks, lost halfway between sleep and consciousness. He really likes them. They're so expressive, and beautiful, and they're watching him, intense in the grey light.

"You have really nice eyes, Chu-ge," Changcheng mumbles, reaching out to touch his face before he gives up, betrayed by the gravity of his own limbs.

Chu Shuzhi doesn't say anything. He keeps watching Changcheng for what feels like a long while, and he breathes a little hard, just loud enough for Changcheng to pick up on it. He frowns and tries to reach out again, but Chu Shuzhi catches his hand first. "Go back to sleep," he repeats, weaker than before.

Changcheng stays silent while Chu Shuzhi arranges himself, without letting go of Changcheng's hand. He stays silent after, too, caught up in the softness of this secret moment, an intimacy that came more easily than he'd ever thought. He feels Chu-ge's hand in his, dry and warm, and he squeezes a little. Chu Shuzhi squeezes back - an acknowledgement or a question, Changcheng doesn't know. His chest feels heavy, his belly and his spine warm with a feeling he cannot name.

"I'm really happy you're alive," he says, the words lifted out of him by a sigh.

Chu Shuzhi turns around to look at him, familiar frown softened by the dim light. "Where did that come from?"

"When Chief Zhao brought you in," Changcheng replies, "I was so scared. I was so scared you were going to die." His voice trembles and he clutches Chu-ge's hand harder. "I'm really glad you didn't."

Chu Shuzhi's eyes widen and his mouth opens a little, and it makes him look almost defenseless, here in his bed, holding Guo Changcheng's hand. He swallows once, twice, Changcheng following the line of his throat before coming back to his face.

"When." Chu Shuzhi swallows again. "When Zhu Hong told me you'd faced that guy alone, I was… angry." He grits his teeth. "And I thought she was going to tell me he'd killed you." He rolls on his side, a little closer to Changcheng. "I'm proud of you. And I'm really glad you're alive, too." His voice breaks on the last word.

Changcheng rolls on his side too, wincing at the pain in his shoulder, and brings his other hand over Chu-ge's, holding it firmly as he feels his chest constrict around his heart, like it's about to be squeezed out of him by the strength of his emotions. "I was so scared," he repeats, staring at Chu Shuzhi, letting his words be ripped from his core. "I don't want to lose you. I can't-"

He stops himself right before crying. His eyes are stinging and his vision is a little blurry, but he can still feel Chu-ge, smell him on his pillow, feel his warmth under the blanket, and it's enough to push the tears back a little.

Chu Shuzhi scoots forward, a little awkwardly, and stops only when he's close enough that Changcheng can feel his breath. Their tangled hands are trapped between them, warm and safe. Changcheng sniffs and blinks away the tears, and Chu Shuzhi… Chu Shuzhi looks undone. His eyes are roaming around Changcheng's face, looking for something, and when he raises his free hand, it's shaking. He brushes Changcheng's hair back, his thumb brushing the corner of Changcheng's eye, before his hand finds its place at the nape of Changcheng's neck.

It feels heavy, like good pressure, the kind you get from a weighted blanket or a dog cuddling you, from hot water in the shower after a long day. Chu Shuzhi's eyes finally settle.

"You won't," he says in a rough voice. "I swear."

Changcheng feels him promise and knows it's true. He nods, and lets his head yield under Chu-ge's hand, bringing their foreheads together, their noses almost touching. Chu Shuzhi starts sweeping his thumb back and forth across the side of Changcheng's neck, gentle, almost like petting, and this is how Changcheng falls asleep a second time.

  Changcheng wakes up slowly. The morning light is still weak, but he feels rested in a way he hasn't in a long time. He's alone in the bed, the memories of the night fuzzy but solid.

He gets up and puts on his clothes from yesterday, then makes the bed, appreciating the soft sound of fabric sliding against fabric.

When he emerges from the bedroom, Chu Shuzhi is sitting on the couch again, and his puppet is standing on the coffee table, facing him. Chu Shuzhi's head is bent down, towards the puppet, like they're having a conversation, but he looks up when he hears Changcheng's footsteps. He looks tired, Changcheng thinks to himself with a tinge of worry.

"Good morning," Chu Shuzhi says, sitting back up.

“Good morning! How did you sleep?” Changcheng steps forward, putting his hands on the back of the couch. “Did I keep you up?” he asks, biting his lips.

Chu Shuzhi narrows his eyes at him a little. “Not… you, exactly. Sit down,” he adds, patting the space next to him once.

Changcheng does, and notices as he goes around the couch that Chu-ge’s puppet flies out the window and away, leaving them alone. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, everything is fine,” Chu Shuzhi says. “But we need to talk.”

"Oh." Changcheng's mouth feels very dry suddenly, and his heart falls down to his stomach. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Chu Shuzhi lifts his hand, as if to reach out, but ends up twisting it into the comforter. "You didn't."

When, after a minute, nothing else is forthcoming, Changcheng scoots a little closer. "What do you want to talk about?" he asks, voice soft.

Chu Shuzhi grits his teeth. "What you said last night." Changcheng feels his ears get warm, remembering how open he'd been. "Did you mean it?"

I don't want to lose you. "I did." Changcheng's heart is beating strong in his belly now, giving him courage. "I still do. And I… I've been feeling that way for a while, now," he confesses. He can hear nothing, now, other than Chu-ge's breath, can see nothing but him, the rest of the apartment seemingly falling away in a blur.

Despite this, Changcheng jumps when Chu-ge brings his hand to his neck, stroking the same way he had last night. The way he looks at him, though - tender and afraid and determined, is nothing like the previous night.

"Me, too," Chu Shuzhi admits in a whisper. "But I want to be clear about this."

He leans forward, slowly, so slowly, until their noses are touching, and Changcheng almost has to go crosseyed to hold Chu-ge's gaze. He doesn't lean back; he lifts his hand to cover Chu-ge's wrist, keeping his palm on him, without breaking eye contact.

And finally, finally, finally, Chu Shuzhi kisses him. It makes Changcheng combust and anchors him to the points where they are touching, and it's short and imperfect because he cannot help but grin into it, overflowing.

When Chu Shuzhi leans back, a hint of uncertainty still lingering on his face amidst the wonder, Changcheng mirrors him, placing his own hand on Chu-ge's neck and rubbing gently at the junction between his throat and his jaw.

"You want this?" Chu Shuzhi speaks with his whole chest despite his words not being very loud, and Changcheng feels the question make its way up his throat.

"I do. I really, really do, Chu-ge."

When Chu Shuzhi kisses him again, Changcheng laughs. He has never been this happy.

#guardian #guardian 2018 #chuguo #guo changcheng #chu shuzhi #fic #my fic #oh god i have no idea what my writing tag is. i havent used it in so long #this reminded me how much i love them... maybe tonight i go through my fic bookmarks #also i had NOT missed dealing with AO3 html formatting

[cynicalone94]

Sending hugs always!

Time After Time: Send me a timestamp sometime in the future after the end of [that fic], or sometime in the past before the story started, and I’ll tell you what happened then

A few years later!

For living donation, please and thank you!

five years later

Jay glances at Hailey with tired eyes before turning back and knocking on the door. 

It’s been a busy couple of days in the city and there just aren’t patrol officers available to canvas the street for them which means they get to do it themselves. 

Which isn’t the worst thing in the world but it does take a lot of time away from the hundreds of other things they need to do today. 

He pushes down those thoughts as the door opens, a teenage girl standing behind the screen door. 

“Hi.” he says, plastering a smile across his face. “I’m -”

“Mr. Jay!” she says, eyes lighting up. 

He stutters to a stop, studying her face and trying to figure out where he knows her from. 

“J-Jennifer?” he asks, his own eyes going wide. “How are you doing?”

“It’s been amazing!” she says, swinging open the screen door and motioning them inside. “The liver has been incredible. I was able to start taking dance lessons after I recovered and now I do dance, cheer and tennis.”

“Yeah?” Jay asks, glancing around the room at the photos and trophies. “You look a lot more energetic and just healthy than I remember.”

She nods. 

“Absolutely.” she agrees. “And it’s all thanks to you. I can’t thank you enough.”

“I was happy to help.” he tells her. “And even more happy to see how well you’ve been able to use it.”

“I knew that I was getting such an incredible gift and it was very important to me to make sure that I made good use of it.” she says, cheeks filling with color. 

“Jennifer.” he says seriously. “This is all incredible but you know that all I wanted for you was that you lived past the age of nine. Everything else is you going above and beyond and living your best life and I am so happy for you.”

“Can I hug you?” she asks with a shy smile and he’s quick to nod, opening his arms for her to step into them. 

When she steps back, he bites his lip. 

“As much as I’d love to spend the rest of the day catching up,” he says reluctantly. “We are here for work. Is your mom here?” 

“You guys are here about the home invasion down the street, right?” she asks. 

“That’s right.” he confirms. “We’re talking to everyone on the street to see if anyone saw anything or maybe has outdoor cameras that might have picked something up.”

“I was away at cheer camp when it happened.” she says. “Just got home this morning but let me grab mom. Even if she didn’t see anything she can get you the tapes from the cameras.”

He nods and she hurries down the hall. 

Hailey steps up, putting a hand on his arm. 

“You okay?” she says quietly. 

“I never even thought about how different her life would be after the transplant.” he whispers. “But she’s so… so happy and healthy.”

“You did something so special and beautiful.” she tells him. “And in case I haven’t told you lately, I am so proud of you. And not just for what you did for Jennifer.”

He offers her a slightly overwhelmed smile and she squeezes his arm before letting her hand fall as Jennifer and her mother come back into the room. 

“Detective Halstead.” Eleanor says warmly, her face lighting up. “It’s so wonderful to see you.”

“Call me Jay.” he insists, smiling at her. “It’s amazing to see how well you guys are doing. And I so wish that I wasn’t here for work because I have a case to solve or I really would love to stay and catch up.”

“You’ll need my number for your report.” she says easily. “We can make plans to do dinner another time. Jennifer said you guys were asking about the home invasion.”

“We are.” Hailey confirms. “Did you see or hear anything out of the ordinary last night?”

“There was an unusual truck that spent a lot of time up and down the street.” she says. “Some early in the morning but it showed up again just after dinner. There wasn’t a logo and I didn’t get a plate but it was a blue pickup truck. And I can get you the outdoor cameras from the last couple of days and hopefully you can get more of what you need from that.”

“Thank you.” Jay says, taking the flash drive that she’s holding out. “I’ll reach out about dinner. It’ll be great to catch up properly.”

“Agreed.” she says, stepping forward to hug him quickly, stepping back before he has a chance to truly respond. 

He and Hailey step toward the door, knowing that they have a lot more people to talk to before they can get back to the district and start piecing together what they might have found on the canvas but he feels a lot better about this canvas already. 

“Bye Jay.” Jennifer calls and he glances back to wave at her, breaking into a wide smile when he sees her holding a familiar teddy bear, waving it’s little hand at him. 

“Bye Jay.” he echoes, shaking his head at the bear that she’d named after him. 

She’s laughing when he finally steps out of the door and the sound fills him with unbelievable warmth. 

It had been a difficult recovery but he’d never once stopped believing that it had been one hundred percent worth it. 

And seeing the happy, thriving life that Jennifer is living just makes it even more so. 

#living donation #organ transplant #donor reunited with recipient #jay halstead #chicago pd #fic

[lets-talk-spirituality]

what do you think of this reading of Harry?

At first glance/ minor acquaintance: Harry is seen as a positive and happy person. He has a good presence and makes friends easily. He attracts a lot of people who enjoy his fun nature. He might smile a lot or come off as attractive to people. He might look like he put a lot of thought into his appearance or that he cares about fashion and labels. Some may see that as materialistic and others might be impressed by it. Overall, he presents as a likable, easygoing person.

Who he is:

Harry can be very playful and does not take life seriously. A little play is fine, but he at times overindulges in fun and may come off as a bit shallow. He also can be naïve and trust easily. When I say trust, I mean ideas. He may have an idea and go with it without thinking it through. This causes him to make reckless decisions at times and get into situations that don’t make sense. We will expand on this.

Along with this, Harry can also be detached. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. On the upper hand, this allows him to recover quickly when bad things happen to him. In the industry he’s in, this is a good thing as it makes him a well oiled machine that can overcome stumbles. However, his failure to experience feelings, good and bad, in the moment leads to him experiencing them later, usually during his periods of rest. This gives him stress in the moments when he needs to relax and recover. Because of this, he associates relaxation with stress and he wants to stop relaxing and get back to work.

Harry is a calm person most of the time. He may not harp on old mistakes or problems daily like some people can. He can also be selfish, something that we will explore further later on. However, he does know that he is selfish (wheel of fortune) and he will be successful in remedying that some point in his life. Just not right now, because he has strong beliefs and he can be stuck in his ways. He may sometimes come off as preachy or a nag. However, as we mentioned previously, he is naive, so his beliefs reflect that. People may not take him seriously when he is trying to express things, that may be valid, because he is seen as shallow and ignorant.

Harry can also be very competitive. He wants to win and he doesn’t care about the how. He may at times take advantage of his resources to acquire things. He doesn’t mind stepping on or over people to get his way. Now, once again, he is aware he does this and he will likely change it in the future. He also enjoys drama and stirring the pot. He can sometimes cause division among groups for enjoyment. He may not be doing this intentionally but he has been the reason for fallouts. He also can be manipulative at times in order to get attention.

Harry enjoys conquering things and people. This is likely his most damning trait. Harry is very romantic and charming. He is detached, so his romantic relationships are more often lighthearted. Remember when I said he doesn’t mind stepping on or over people for what he wants? He has a pattern of using his charm and resources to conquer romantic interests. He will say whatever is necessary, things he doesn’t always mean, in order to get what he wants. He doesn’t mind causing division. He conquers people because he likes the attention it gets him. Perhaps he was praised once for his ability. He does it to prove he can get anyone he wants and that everyone finds him attractive, it’s an ego boost for him.

Now, as annoying as this is, he doesn’t usually get away consequence free. Remember when I said he was reckless. He may do this with people who are in some ways important. For example, the bosses daughter/ the executive’s wife. He enjoys the risk of it but when the person finds out he wasn’t as serious as they thought it can cause a lot of drama. He is aware he does this and I do get that although he is fine with drama among other people, he is uncomfortable when it involves him too much. He is still reckless with this, but is getting better at choosing who to do this with. This is an ego thing.

Once again, with these negative things. I asked while writing if he knew about these negative traits and I pulled the wheel of fortune. I interpret that as he knows and is working on them and he will be successful on whatever he is trying to accomplish. Whether that be overcoming them or *gasp* hiding them better.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you guys have questions. I’ll be posting the next two parts soon.

Cards: Sun, The Fool Reversed, The Devil Reversed, 5 of Swords, Knight of Cups, 7 of Cups Reversed

My thoughts, I’m gonna pull parts and comment on them.

A little play is fine, but he at times overindulges in fun and may come off as a bit shallow

I actually don’t agree. I think he tends to take things too seriously at times and overthinks.

Because of this, he associates relaxation with stress and he wants to stop relaxing and get back to work.

This is pretty insightful and I agree with this.

However, as we mentioned previously, he is naive, so his beliefs reflect that.

I feel like he’s not naive as much as he sees the world through innocent eyes. And I know people say that’s what being naive is, but naive has a connotation of like not being street smart. You can be smart and understand the truth of things and still choose to see them in a rose colored way. A lot of people who are highly spiritual beings people see as naive. Because they see the world through the lens of magic. It doesn’t mean they don’t also know the reality.

He doesn’t mind stepping on or over people to get his way

Disagree. He will do what is best for him but I think he does his best to not get to his desires that way. If he were more this way he probably would’ve made a lot of different career choices. He’s much more community driven and likes to work collaboratively which is very different from stepping on people.

He also enjoys drama and stirring the pot. He can sometimes cause division among groups for enjoyment

It’s not really causing drama. Some people like to like say outlandish things to see how people react. It’s actually more curiosity at how people may behave than like enjoying upsetting people or causing division. A lot of highly intellectual people like to do this, like drop a crazy opinion to see how people respond. This makes it sound like his intention is to divide people and more it’s about better getting to know people.

He conquers people because he likes the attention it gets him

Ehhh. So much about human interactions come down to power plays and exchanges. Most of us have to engage in this in some ways. I think the wording of this is a bit harsh. I think, like most people, he enjoys being able to win over someone he is interested in romantically. I wouldn’t call that conquering. Because conquer implies taking control over the person and I don’t think that’s how he is. I think he likes to control himself and situations but I think he grants freedom to his partners because he himself values freedom.

#celebrity tarot #harry styles #ask box

[switchhummel]

DISCONNECT || Self- Para

TIMING: Saturday 18th, sometime before lunch.

MENTIONS: @domdiegotorres , @shayevansthistle & @domloganlodge

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Scat, SA, humilliation, vomit, violence.

Kurt was on his cot, his back against the wall, knees bent tightly on his chest, with his arms holding his legs tight. It was as much as he could do to cover himself, which was ridiculous in many ways, since whenever he had to eventually sit up, or stand up to leave the cell, everyone would see him naked. As the hours went by, so much of his self-consciousness seapt over him like a tidal wave. He felt so exposed, so broken, and with nothing but the realisation that he would be seeing Diego at some point at the auction later that day, giving him the strength to ge through the next couple of hours.

He could hear Logan and Shay making small talk, also no doubt to occupy their minds. Every so often they addressed him, and he would acknowledge it with a nod of his head, even if he didn't catch much of what they were saying, but still it was nice to have company in there at least.

"Dude, look at that" he suddenly heard right beside him, on the other side of the bars, but still close enough to make him cringe. "What does the sign say? Big lips to suck cock? I can see that. Hey you!" the man practically barked, hitting the bars hard with the cane. "Get over here. Let's see just how good your lips are."

Had that been any, any other circumstance, those words would have had him drop on his knees and take whatever it was that he was been offered, but at that moment they were making his stomach turn. He must have considered that once second too long, because all the sudden he felt the slam of the cane against his arm, because he was unfortunately sitting too close to the bars. "I said get over here, or you're getting worse than that." The man was practically growling, while his partner was already pulling his pants down and his dick out.

The next however minutes passed in a daze, with Kurt trying his best to disconnect from the moment as much as he possibly could. It wasn't the first time he had to do that, since it wasn't the first time he was in a situation like that, so he knew how to do that. Only the physical part of the act echoed within him. The stretch of his lips. The scratch down his throat. His face and lips drenched with their spit and slick.

He was grabbed by the neck and hair and made to press his ass against the bars, and he was now facing both Shay and Logan, but he couldn't bare to look at them so he lowered his head and closed his eyes again, floating away as he was thrown back and forth on the bars. He tried to think of Diego, his sweetness, the way he cared about him. How his heart skipped a beat when he told him that he loved him, but in pure Kurt Hummel fashion he'd changed the subject, terrified as he was to say it back.

He was now kind of wishing he had.

Thankfully, the two men were way too horny to last too long, and not many minutes went by before he was being bathed in both cum and piss, all over his back. His whole body shuddered when he felt it, when he smelled their stench, and as soon as he was let go and pushed away, he vomited on the spot. When he recovered, he laid back on the cot and turned to the wall, and pulled himself in a fetal position, trying to stay calm.

He could hear Shay and Diego's voices, asking him how he was. He even faintly remembered one of them stroking his hair, trying to soothe him. But the cell was still spinning around him, and he closed his eyes and sighed, some tears falling down his face when the image of Diego's beautiful smile appeared before him in his mind

"Just hang on a little longer" he told himself. "It will all be over soon."

---

#auction house field trip #self para #points #tw: scat #tw: sa #tw: humilliation #tw: vomit #tw: violence

[horce-divorce]

screenshots edited for privacy bc MALS Pals is a private group; however, MALS is very poorly understood and putting all the best info we have about it behind an access barrier like a Facebook group (where you not only have to join both FB and the group, but then the information itself is haphazardly organized). likewise, you'll noticed these claims aren't sourced, which is noteworthy but not necessarily damning and I'll explain why in a second.

i read something in the group today that may be a huge game changer not just for me and other people who already have a MALS diagnosis, but for people with related conditions or who suspect they may have EDS. (if you've had persistent stomach pain for years, had the full gastro workup and everything comes back 'normal'? Have them look at your arteries next; MALS is an arterial compression that causes nerve damage and extreme pain and difficulty digesting, to such a degree that you can have panic attacks when attempting to eat & may wind up on a feed tube.)

it was actually wild to me to see this spelled out so well bc a lot of us have noticed the connection btwn things like MALS, EDS, POTS, endometriosis and other conditions, and it makes sense with stuff like POTS (both end up having vascular components that mean blood's not going where it needs to) and even with EDS, as explained here:

"he went looking for MALS (Dopper US) in his other EDS/immune/GI patients this summer and so far they're ALL coming back with the combo."

some others have pointed out in the comments that they'd really like to, you know, see any research about this, since the existing stuff doesn't seem to point towards an autoimmune component-- however, existing research is severely lacking, and this data may not be compiled yet. MALS is, again, rare, often overlooked, often complicated, and as a result, poorly understood.

as far as MALS Pals goes, it's a fantastic, indispensable treasure trove of information and resources; it is the reason I haven't quit facebook yet. I don't wanna lose my MALS Pals. but unfortunately some of the best information we have is info that's being shared privately between doctors and their patients, and then from the patients with the rest of the group. for example, we had a video somewhere of a doctor explaining the MALS + POTS connection in great detail, it was FASCINATING, and it was from a private conference/talk and thus not allowed to be shared outside of the group. which infuriates me, I'd love to have a MALS Pals forum where we can index this stuff, but that's a topic for another post.

so anyway, there were also people pointing out that often one of the issues with MALS is that, left untreated, it causes other arterial compressions (like SMAS) which are also hard to diagnose and can then go untreated as well; but there are tons of people (some even in the comments here as well!) who have had multiple MALS and other compression release surgeries, some who have even had "successful" surgeries (no compression shown on ultrasound, good blood flow, nerve damage addressed and so forth), but who still had GI symptoms and pain afterwards-- sometimes increased by the stress of surgery.

MALS surgery itself is wildly variable depending on which surgeon does it for you. The leaders in MALS treatment (Dr. Hsu) can get up to 80% "successful" surgeries, but as mentioned, that doesn't necessarily mean the patient was at any point effectively relieved of their pain and symptoms. meanwhile, other places (U of Mich) cite a 50% or less rate of success, and don't bother following up with other possible complications (they completely dismissed my concerns about looking for additional compressions in my own body); those are the cases where surgery also caused further complications and the patients recovered poorly.

anyway I just thought this was WAY too interesting to scroll past w/o saving for later reference. there are loads of resources in the files for this group, but some of the best information gets passed around in regular posts and comments and then buried by countless others. but there's a common thread with almost all of us struggling with MALS in these groups, and that's that we are piecing this together very largely on our own; there are only a VERY small number of doctors who are even acknowledging this, let alone researching it.

sorry there's no actual research involved, I'd like to see it, too. but it's something to keep an eye out for in coming years.

and again, I want to reiterate that if you have had the full gastro workup and your doctors are still throwing up their hands and saying nothing is wrong with your stomach, despite you being miserable and not being able to eat? it really might not be your stomach... it could be your veins and/or nerve damage, and the initial test to look at those arteries is just an ultrasound.

#medical stuff #mals #pots #eds #mcas #disability stuff #chronic illness stuff

[belovedbythevoid]

for the ship meme: you and sukuna?

 🌙 ————— THANK YOU FOR THE ASK . . .

  ❝ my relationship with sukuna is a complicated one, to say the least !! that's not even counting the huge amount of aus that exist for it either !! wow, it's a lot . . . but i digress, onto the meme !! ❞

  gives nose/forehead kisses

  ❝ sukuna !! depending on whether he's in his own body or not, he's taller than me, so more often than not, it is forehead kisses; but if he's not in his own body, it's very much nose kisses. he hates to admit he's gone soft, but i know he can't resist expressing his affection from time to time. ❞

  gets jealous the most

  ❝ also sukuna . . . he can just see someone talking to me and he's already jealous. i get jealous too, admittedly even if it's someone i know, like uraume . . . well, especially if it's them. their devotion to sukuna is sweet and all, but . . . sometimes it's a bit much, really. ❞

  picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

  ❝ hmm . . . well, we both prefer to drink at home. but in a hypothetical scenario, and maybe even in some aus, i suppose it's me picking him up after he gets too drunk while out with gojo and toji. ❞

  takes care of on sick days

  ❝ sukuna loathes it when i get sick, so he usually keeps his distance. but if he's ever feeling bad, i suppose i care for him instead . . . but honestly !! he might not admit it, but he does get concerned, so he will ask itadori to make me something to help me recover faster !! ❞

  drags the other person out into the water on beach day

  ❝ hm. probably me. i love the water, and i love to swim, so if ever we have a day anywhere near water, i almost always take my trunks so i can go swimming !! sukuna doesn't mind joining me from time to time, either, especially if i promise him a treat on the way home; he can't deny he loves ice cream on a hot day. ❞

  gives unprompted massages

  ❝ also me. well, only because i get bored and need something to do with my hands. sukuna doesn't complain, though. ❞

  drives/rides shotgun

  ❝ sukuna is a passenger princess. next question. ❞

  brings the other lunch at work

  ❝ sukuna. if i'm on the trail of a cursed spirit and he realises i haven't eaten in a while, he'll have itadori whip me something up ( since sukuna can't cook, but don't tell him i said that ) and he'll deliver it to me. i think it's very sweet. ❞

  has the better parental relationship

  ❝ neither of us. ❞

  tries to start role-playing in bed

  ❝ sukuna . . . ❞

  embarrassingly drunk dancer

  ❝ also sukuna. he cuts a lot loose when he drinks too much and sometimes it's funny. ❞

  still cries watching titanic

  ❝ bonus: it's itadori. we watched the movie with him once and he started bawling . . . i almost feel bad for laughing. ❞

  firmly believes in couples costumes

  ❝ depending on what they are, i guess both ? i guess you could say our usual attire is a couples costume; sukuna being a cursed spirit and me being a sorcerer who has to keep him under check. ❞

  breaks the expensive gift rule during christmas

  ❝ both of us. i can't help myself, because gift giving is one of my love languages for other people . . . and sukuna always tells me he'd give me the world one day, so . . . ❞

  makes the other eat breakfast

  ❝ sukuna. if he sees i'm not eating correctly, he'll always ge upset with me. "eat something or i'll shove it in your mouth, brat." he's such an asshole about it. ❞

  remembers anniversaries

  ❝ hahah . . . well . . . neither of us, i guess. ❞

  brings up having kids

  ❝ sukuna . . . i hate children, and he does too, but, well . . . ah, that's maybe a bit too personal, i guess . . . ❞

#🌙 ————— ( what are you sweet creature ? ) #🌙 ————— ( asks ) #🌙 ————— ( sukuna hcs )

[sandlessdesert]

mxy recovery in yiling au

resident mo xuanyu liker here to give yall more mxy and his found family in yiling.

please check out the other parts first!

PART 1 | PART 2 | ADD. INFO (you are here!)

im not super concrete on the timeline/how things play out, as this is more just driven by the whims of me wanting to see mo xuanyu happy :D. i’d love to hear your ideas on how this comes to be.

as previously stated, wei wuxian and the wens manage to live in relative peace in the burial mounds.

five years after wwx dies in canonverse, a sixteen year old mo xuanyu is removed from the lanling jin sect, and escapes mo manor a few months after his mothers death.

wei wuxian begins teaching mxy safe practices for demonic cultivation given the few times hes tried to demonstrate it for him gave wwx a heart attack and nearly sent both of them to wen qing.

wwx would have preferred to NOT teach him demonic cultivation, but mxy at this point isn’t really used to relationships where he isn’t explicitly being used for something and therefore is trying to be “useful” so he doesn’t get discarded. wwx would prefer to let him have a choice over what that use is than force him to do something.

over time mxy realizes what wwx is doing and that he really just wanted for him to have a means to protect himself. this takes a long time though.

shortly after, a 9 year old wen yuan is a bit jealous that mxy is stealing his xian-gege’s time and being allowed into the demon slaughtering cave when no one else is really allowed to. wwx explains mxy is allowed in because he’s his disciple. a-yuan declares himself wwx’s new disciple on the spot!

 wwx, unable to say no to his a-yuan, wwx takes him in as a “student” aka just letting him run small errands that are safe. (although eventually, wwx does begin teaching him basics of cultivation when he’s old enough)

two years later, (i’m a bit unclear on the canon timeline here so correct me if this doesn’t make sense) xue yang defects from the jin sect through boredom or inconvenience, before he actually kills anyone, eventually seeking out the infamous yiling patriarch. his ability for demonic cultivation is much lower than the canonverse given that no one has been able to raid and sieze wwx’s research post-mortem because he isn’t... well, dead.

some character relationship things under the cut! this got longer than i thought it would fhsdjhf.

as wwx has three students and TECHNICALLY xue yang joined last, actual child wen yuan calls adult xue yang “mei-xiao shidi” and xue yang nearly threw hands with the kid in response. wwx and mxy bribe xy with candy or something to call him “yuan-shixiong” he is 100% doing this to be a little shit because he’s being raised by wwx, not lwj here.

similarly, mxy is “da shixiong” but more often just “yu-ge/yu-gege” according to wen yuan.

the three disciples have been trying to get wwx and lwj together after watching them somehow not get together for literal years and its EXHAUSTING. 

everyone thought maybe a-yuan’s innocent teases of calling lwj nd wwx father and mother would have done something?? to hint at it? but it doesnt work? 

xue yang tries being direct with wwx but wwx clearly doesnt take it to heart. obviously he’s just being rude or playing a prank or something.

mxy is in pain seeing someone as pretty as lwj throw himself at wwx where wwx doesnt even notice meanwhile his own love life is absolutely awful, not really being able to shake the reputation of his past life in the jin sect or his current life where he lives in the burial mounds with the wen remnants.

mxy and wwx work together to create spiritual devices and sell/distribute the safer and more practical inventions to the locals of yiling to make money.

xy and mxy are fiercely loyal to wwx, but do not hesitate to chew him out to wen qing. xue yang will also physically fight him if he’s spouting bullshit and mxy isn’t in the vicinity (both for mxy’s sake and because he would try stopping xy.)

i wanna be clear, while this is a recovery au, wwx and everyone else in the burial mounds are not perfect nor are they therapists. all of them are dealing with their own trauma, wwx in particular can be unstable and explosive from time to time. being in the burial mounds is HARD and they will occasionally unfairly lash out at each other or do the wrong thing. they can never “fix” mxy or his trauma or erase his past abuse. but the point of this au is that despite their issues, despite them sometimes unintentionally hurting their loved ones they are found family and they care about each other deeply. through mutual love and respect and patience he didn’t get before, mxy does get to recover :)

random other things (mostly just wen yuan stuff because he’s my favourite character)

wen yuan is learning the basics of normal cultivation as well as demonic cultivation and is developing a golden core. wei wuxian gifted him suibian since it’s sort of useless to him.

lan wangji visits from time to time to check in and play cleansing for them all. one day he teaches wen yuan how to play it on the xiao when he’s not around (lmao you think they have the ability to maintain a guqin given the circumstance?). everyone in the burial mounds loves when lwj comes around to play since it usually ends up with a small concert of three echoing out of the cave.

#mo xuanyu #mxy recovery au #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #written as gen ship but the more i work on this the more it seems like subtle xueyu #ryn talks a lot

[k0kichiimagines]

hhshhckd saeran brain rot time

you can request other characters for this, including other versions of Saeran!

- mod kokichi

[GE] Saeran Choi N$FW alphabet

CWs: N$FW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Very soft, he usually gets a cloth to clean up and then holds you for a bit, fingers tracing your skin and whispering soft words to you. Sometimes falling asleep.

He'll run a bath afterwards, pretty bath bombs included.

At some point he may question what you enjoyed, mostly if you tried something new.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

At first he doesnt like anything about himself. He starts to love himself through how you love him, starting with his hands.. or more how his hands look on you.

On you ? Everything, but he loves your neck // collarbone when hes more in his Unknown persona, hips and thighs generally. He loves kissing or holding your hands during your moments as well.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes cumming inside or on the sheets, you'd have to ask him if you wanted it anywhere else tbh.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Probably when you first entered his life, and for the first time he started getting thoughts about someone. Not just feeling aroused, but feeling it towards someone in particular. Both Ray and Saeran felt nervous you would hate him if you found out.

Also unknown has an exhibition kink, i know this is GE saeran but i have to get it out there.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No experience, I doubt he watches porn tbh but he did *some* research. He's not innocent on his kink knowledge.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary! He loves having you close to him and having your front view exposed to him, seeing your face and etc. Any position he can see your face he likes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He might make some light jokes here and there, very soft ones and not common. He might even softly tickle you in a teasing way once or twice. For him, sex is very intimate and loving and he wants to make it feel relaxed and stuff.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Okay i feel like this depends on what you hc happened to his hair. If you take the dye route, then no it's still red. I personally see it as being from the elixir, so i think it'd be white with some red here and there.

Yes i think he shaves every now and then, just trims when he's feeling lazy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's so intimate and loving in everything you do together, especially so during sex. Even kinker stuff holds intimacy and love for him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not really. I feel like he's able to keep himself usually in check, and now he has you he doesn't feel the urge as much. He does a few times though, if you ever caught him he'd freeze for a second, debating how to respond.

He used to, during the Mint Eye and stuff, but even then only very rarely. Perhaps more often once he saw you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise kink!! Orgasm denial.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Honestly anywhere. He prefers private areas, such as your house (again, anywhere. but the bed is comfortable so usually there). He dreams of having wide open fields and gardens, so in a closed off area there is good.

In public? Yeah he's down, not often but the excitement of hiding and keeping both of you silent gets to him at times.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. Just whisper at him, or subtlety imply something, maybe trace your fingers close to his crotch. He'll get the idea pretty quick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never degraded you or want to be degraded. Teasing? He's okay with it, but both from his childhood and the Mint Eye degradation would make him uncomfortable. Same with inflicting pain or choking.

I think tying him up would only be a sometimes thing, he wouldn't suggest it unless you wanted to and he'd only want it a few times.

Otherwise probably just stuff like vomit, piss, y'know.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ohhhh he likes spoiling you, he's a giver.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes. (Depends on the mood, and what you want. He's a big romantic so he likes the slow mood, but equally having you beg for him to move is... hot)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes them! Just not too often, he prefers sex-sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

YEP, depends on what of course but he's down! Just maybe don't expect non-stop kinky stuff with him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

When he first gets out the mint eye, not more then one. As he heals and recovers he can go for longer and go for more rounds, just give him time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Owns none, i dont think i need to explain why.

He's not too fussed on toys, if you have handcuffs or whatever you want to try he'll use them, and may even find one he likes, but he doesnt have a big preference for them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's always a tease, even in his after ending he teases you softly. Anything from words, to moving his fingers painfully slow, this man is a tease.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He definitely makes noises, soft whimpers and gasps mixed in with sentences that sometimes trail off (but you know what he means). He'll get a bit loud at times, he might kiss (or bite) you to silent himself.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Your first time having sex together is going to be very slow paced and gentle. In his own words, your his first love, but that also makes you his first everything. Sex including. He has a few nerves of his own, and he would prefer if you two spend time exploring each other the first time.

If you're not a virgin you can give him guidance, but even then you'll be learning together, even more so if you are a virgin.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I've read that circumcision is pretty popular in South Korea, however due to his childhood i honestly don't know if he would have gotten it done. His mother might have, equally she may not have,, i looked it up and apparently its done very young a lot of the time so probably yeah??? man i dunno i dont have a dick okay im out of my depth here 😭

ANYWAYS i think hes 5 to 6 inches or so, not woah really big but equally not small.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hmm, I feel like he's not always horny but equally he's quick to get in the mood - if that makes sense? He has a good control over his emotions (sometimes), but equally if you push a button he's gone.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quick, he prefers if you fall asleep together though so he usually waits until you're sleeping.

#saeran x reader #saeran choi x reader #mystic messenger x reader #GE saeran #saeran choi #saeran choi x mc

[shijiujun]

Lonely Dream | 孤梦

Summary: And when all is done and dusted, sometimes Lao Wen still gets those headaches of his, and the spots where Ah Xu had the nails driven in stil throb in pain on a cold, rainy day.

Some slice of life and domesticity for WenZhou as they enjoy more years than they expected to have initially, together.

Notes: OKAY so there are too many theories going out there for special ep ending, and nah not going there! So the concept of this is SOMEHOW Zhou Zishu saves Wen Kexing at the end of Ep 36, and they need to head into icy mountain cave for a WHILE but not forever. They head back down to Four Seasons Manor once Wen Kexing recovers.

Basically SHL ver. WenZhou, but with TYK ending (where WenZhou fight in the icy mountains for a bit after Wu Xi cures him and then head back down into the world of the living). No immortal lifespan, but hey, they get the rest of their normal lives together! So yeah, they can still eat normally, no snow and ice diet please.

Word Count: 4,500+ 

✨✨ Link on AO3 ✨✨

******

They visit Ah Xiang and Cao Weining’s graves once Wen Kexing’s year-long recovery in the frigid cold of the mountains is complete.

Zhou Zishu says that it is for Lao Wen’s recuperation, but he suspects Wen Kexing, the heartless bastard, knows that he has taken this year too, to finally stop hurting, to stop going through the bone-deep, heart-wrenching terror at the prospect of losing him.

Opening his eyes in the armoury a year ago, his five senses were returned to him, but at what price? Feeling Lao Wen’s cold hands against his, his stark, blinding white hair a horrifying contrast against his beautiful face, and the man almost leaving him.

Leaving him, once again.

Horror turned into anger, the words stuck in his throat, his chest so tight and heart slamming against the bones caging it, Zhou Zishu had regained all that he had lost-

-and then lost the most important thing, person, to him.

Someone he values above his own life, who had lied to him, who had so stupidly, stupidly gave himself up for him.

Zhou Zishu does not want to remember how he survived that day, how he spent minutes, hours, and days after, making sure Lao Wen continued to hang on to his very last breath.

In the past year, the cold he was constantly plagued with had nothing to do with the wintry landscape.

He knows he is pushing it a little — his eyes have rarely left Wen Kexing since they were moved to the mountains at Wu Xi and Senior Ye’s suggestions. Initially, Lao Wen slept and Zhou Zishu had no idea if he would ever wake up.

Before he would even open his eyes, the panic typically set in just like that, gripping him by the throat the moment he woke. Zhou Zishu would have to reach out for Lao Wen across him on the bed, the fear receding only when he heard and felt Lao Wen’s breaths under his fingertips.

For a long time, Zhou Zishu thought that he would be with Lao Wen in this state for the rest of his life. It was not all bad — as long as Lao Wen was alive, who cared if he spent the rest of his years guarding a sleeping Wen Kexing?

Who’s the lazy one now, Lao Wen, he thought plenty of times in the months after, his hands caressing at Wen Kexing’s cheek bones and pale face, which was of the same colour as his white hair.

Fortunately, fortunately… he managed to keep the person he wanted in the end.

They have been so focused on recuperating, stuck in the mountains and in that isolated environment, it was easy to distance themselves from everything that had and was happening outside.

Even though Wen Kexing did not mention a thing, Zhou Zishu knows that he spends some nights awake, looking out into a sky full of stars, quiet and pensive. He knows it, because he does the same.

For Jiu Xiao, for Han Ying, for Qing Luan.

For a young woman who called him Zishu-ge and Sickly Ghost, who threatened to fight him if he left Wen Kexing all alone. A beautiful young woman who should have gotten her happy ending on that tragic afternoon.

For a young man, who had a smile that could light up even the darkest of corners in a place like the Ghost Valley, who would have protected his to-be wife with everything he had.

The pain and grief that comes with losing Ah Xiang and Cao Weining is no easier to bear a year on.

===

Wen Kexing recalls the way she looked that day, all beautiful in her green and red bridal robes, finally able to live a life basking under the sunshine without anything holding her back. That was what he always wanted for her.

What a huge mistake that wedding was.

His whole life, aside from Ah Xu, has been a cycle of repeated mistakes, over and over again. If he had just put his foot down and insisted on not letting Mo Huaiyi in, if he had not just walked away in anger and instead stayed there, they would have stopped Xiao Cao’s death, and Ah Xiang’s after.

Why had he walked off? How did beautiful Ah Xiang, an Ah Xiang he was ready to give away, end up taking her last breath in his arms?

A sting on his right ear pulls him violently out of his depressed reverie, and he yells, “Ow- Ow, ow, ow, Ah Xu!”

“Don’t think that I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Zhou Zishu says, pulling Wen Kexing’s face close to him by the ear. “There is no point dwelling in the past. Life and death… when the time comes, no one can escape from it.”

Wen Kexing’s eyes sober a little, bitterness flashing across his face. Remnants of his hatred and resentment from more than a year ago, before he met Ah Xu.

“If I had just kept her with me-“

“We all make our choices,” Zhou Zishu says, his voice gentling as he lets Wen Kexing go, but the man does not move away.

“If she had to choose again, she would probably have chosen the same.”

In the cold, their hands find their way to each other, clasping warmly under their thick sleeves, the rims lined with fur.

They stare at the graves for a little longer. And while Wen Kexing has never believed in some higher power up there or the heavens-

-this time, with every ounce of his being, he prays and wishes that Ah Xiang and that pig will find their ways back to each other in the next life, no matter what.

Zhou Zishu’s hand squeezes around his, and Wen Kexing turns to see his Ah Xu’s warm smile and gaze.

“Shall we go home?”

Home. The place where they can live out the rest of their natural lives together.

“Let’s go home,” Wen Kexing agrees.

===

“Ah Xu, that is not the way you-“

Hearing Wen Kexing nag for the thousandth time, Zhou Zishu has finally had enough. Slamming the broad vegetable knife onto the wooden chopping board loudly, he turns and looks at the man next to him.

“I’m not the one who begged me to do this,” Zhou Zishu says, turning to walk away, “You make dinner. I told you it was a waste of time-“

Before he can finish his sentence, warmth engulfs his back, and something sharp snuggles into his shoulder bone. A familiar scent — jasmine, from the incense that Wen Kexing likes to use — wraps around him, hands trapping him in between the counter and the limpet attached to him.

Wen Kexing’s palms close over his hands, then guides them to pick up the knife again. Zhou Zishu stiffens, but does not move away. He lets Wen Kexing curl his own fingers properly over the cabbage, and chop at it neatly, over and over.

They have not yet spoken about this between them, despite laying in the same bed right next to each other night after night. The cave was hardly a luxurious abode and to save effort and space, Zhou Zishu fell asleep next to a comatose Wen Kexing for several months, wanting to ascertain that he was alive and breathing at any given moment.

After Wen Kexing woke, Zhou Zishu continued to sleep next to him, and Lao Wen never once brought it up in conversation.

Coming back to Four Seasons Manor, Wen Kexing naturally turned up in his room instead of the one he was staying at before, already asleep when Zhou Zishu returned to turn in.

This man is his soulmate, the person he would give everything up for no matter what it was. His lost shidi, but even before that, this man was someone who was willing to do everything he could for him. Who cared for him like no one else ever would again.

Beyond that? Zhou Zishu knows of his feelings, and is rather certain of Wen Kexing’s. He supposes that after pledging to save each other’s lives at the expense of their own repeatedly, some things just do not have to be articulated.

Zhou Zishu leans into the hold, relaxing entirely.

At this, it is Wen Kexing’s turn to be stunned at the reciprocation where he was expecting none before, but the man recovers quickly. He snuggles in even closer, the side of his face pressed right up against Zhou Zishu’s. 

His Ah Xu remains still, as if unbothered, and Wen Kexing decides to try his luck.

“Ah Xu,” he angles his head slightly, his mouth brushing lightly over Zhou Zishu’s cheek as he murmurs straight into his ear.

Ah, there it is. Zhou Zishu freezes against him, now making to move his ear out of Wen Kexing’s reach.

“What?”

Wen Kexing smiles, amused and so, so fond.

His voice still low and sultry, he continues, “I think you’re right, you should let me cook instead. You’re murdering the cabbage.”

Zhou Zishu pauses for a good two seconds before turning to glare at Wen Kexing. Wen Kexing recognizes that look, and the warmth on Zhou Zishu’s back vanishes instantly just as he starts waving the knife at him.

“Wen Kexing, don’t you think you’re being ridiculous and childish-“

Laughter fills the kitchen, a sound that is incredibly melodious, immediately soothing all the uneasiness Zhou Zishu feels.

Outside, all twenty disciples try not to peek and look at their shifu and shishu being strange again. One of the younger ones, Xiao Man, cannot help but angle his head in the direction of the kitchen, and then says, “Da-shixiong, shifu is going after shishu with a knife! Is he going to be okay?”

Zhang Chengling sighs inwardly, then smiles and pats the boy on the head.

“That’s shifu’s way of showing how much he cares about shishu.”

Back in the kitchen, having heard that tiny quip from their youngest disciple, Wen Kexing finally stops in his tracks, turning around mid-escape to grab Zhou Zishu around the waist with a hand, and the other going to the hand that is holding onto the knife and stopping his Ah Xu from possibly murdering him.

He sets the knife aside, but his other hand does not move.

“What are you doing,” grumbles Zhou Zishu, looking away, his expression a little stern, as if telling Wen Kexing not to be such a nuisance.

This close, however, Wen Kexing can certainly see the light flush on Ah Xu’s cheekbones. 

If Wen Kexing had to rank all the beautiful bones that Ah Xu has, it would probably be scapulas first, followed by his cheekbones.

Wen Kexing’s eyes dip a little lower.

He thinks collarbones may rank third.

“Ah Xu.”

“What?” sighs Zhou Zishu. “Let me go, the disciples need to finish the last set of practice-“

He is cut off when Wen Kexing swoops downwards, and catches his lips in his.

Zhou Zishu’s eyes go wide, but before he can do anything like move away and out of Wen Kexing’s firm hold, the man circles his waist with both arms, effectively trapping him and bringing him closer.

Wen Kexing’s body temperature tends to run on the colder side these days, a side effect of him having been brought back from the brink of death.

Right now, however, Zhou Zishu can feel nothing else but the scalding heat. His hands move up, intending to push Wen Kexing away, but they end up clutching tight around the man’s broad shoulders.

He does not stop the kiss, letting Wen Kexing’s lips roam as they like.

Outside, an unfortunate Chengling who sees this finds his eyes going wide.

“Erm,” he clears his throat quite loudly, gaining all the disciples’ attention. “Let’s head outside to finish our practice.”

He ushers everyone out, while wondering how the hell he hadn’t seen this coming.

Everything makes so much sense now.

===

Four Seasons Manor grows, and Zhang Chengling along with Bi Xingming end up taking over some classes and teaching of their own.

Wen Kexing does not want to admit it, but it seems that when he asked Ah Xu if he was a servant here, the man actually meant it. His little Chengling, who is not so little anymore, still comes to him to ask for tips or begs him to give some pointers to the other disciples, but most of the time, Wen Kexing is cooking.

He makes breakfast, is involved in lunch, and definitely ends up cooking a feast every dinner. Thankfully, Bi Xingming is unlike his da-shixiong and shifu as he actually has some kitchen sense, but Wen Kexing has truly been demoted to servant in this manor.

A servant that ends up in his master’s bed every night, Wen Kexing thinks then, and feels better about it immediately.

“Shishu, let me help you bring these out,” Bi Xingming says, stepping into the kitchen just as he’s done with the last dish.

“Mnn,” Wen Kexing hums in assent without looking up from his soup, tasting it one last time.

At the very least, these days, Zhou Zishu is able to actually, actually taste the food he lovingly cooks.

“Perfect,” he nods. “Is your shifu not up yet? It’s almost lunch time.”

“Ah…” Bi Xingming blinks, “You said not to disturb him until he wakes up, and he hasn’t left the room since morning.”

Wen Kexing frowns slightly. Sure, he worked Ah Xu over thoroughly last night, but not to the extent that he would need to sleep in for this long. Worry niggling at him, he gets Bi Xingming to start lunch with the other disciples first without waiting for them, and heads in the direction of their room.

The last time Zhou Zishu slept in so late, it was the night he confessed his past to Wen Kexing, of how he caused the deaths of everyone in Four Seasons Manor. He was deathly ill then and emotionally wrung out — things that Wen Kexing loathes to see on Zhou Zishu.

“Ah Xu?” Wen Kexing calls, sliding the door open gently.

The lump under the covers is the same as when he left it this morning. Wen Kexing takes quick strides and goes over, sitting down on the bed next to Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu?” he calls again, his voice soft as he reaches out for Zhou Zishu’s face.

His lips are pale, eyebrows furrowed and perspiring at the forehead.

“Ah Xu, are you ill? What’s wrong?”

Zhou Zishu’s skin is of normal temperature, much to Wen Kexing’s relief. His brain runs through a a million scenarios, none of them good and just as he’s about to yell for Chengling, something clicks in his head.

He does yell for their Chengling in the end, but for a hot bath instead with a pack of herbs and medicine from the stash Wu Xi gave them before he headed back home with Jing Beiyuan.

“Is shifu okay?” he asks, worried.

“He will be,” Wen Kexing says, lifting Zhou Zishu out from under the covers and heading for the bath. “Don’t worry, I’ll watch him. You continue training with the other disciples, otherwise when Ah Xu wakes up he’s going to scold all of you again.”

As Zhou Zishu soaks in the steaming medicinal bath, Wen Kexing sits right next to him, pillowing his head on his arms, which are sitting on the rim of the wooden tub and stares at him.

A few years have passed since the days when Wen Kexing despaired at Zhou Zishu dying in a short few years and the peace they have now makes it easy to not think about the past. He forgets sometimes that despite being healed, despite him giving his life force to Ah Xu, the man’s body has been to hell and back with the nails.

And forcing them out of his body forcefully while he mistakenly believed that Wen Kexing was dead, wanting to take revenge for him-

For the rest of their time together, Wen Kexing knows he will forever be guilt-ridden at this. If only he had just told Ah Xu, if only he didn’t make another stupid decision, there would have been no need for the armoury. No need for self-sacrificial plays, no need for lost time.

That Zhou Zishu would love him still and be with him, that is nothing short of a miracle.

On days like these, when the weather turns just the slightest bit wet and cold, his body starts to hurt, especially the points where he kept the nails in. All seven of them, the stupid man.

Wen Kexing inches forward and presses a kiss to the man’s temple.

For this life and every life after this one, Wen Kexing swears he will always be good to Zhou Zishu.

===

He loves and hates Wen Kexing’s hair, even after several years have passed. They are nearing the ten-year mark since leaving the mountains, and Zhou Zishu has slept next to this man every single day after, but whenever Wen Kexing shows up, Zhou Zishu has to admit that his breath is always taken away.

Wen Kexing looks ethereally gorgeous with those white strands, his features standing out even more clearly, not that Zhou Zishu would ever tell him that lest it goes to his head. However, it is a reminder that his silly, stupid shidi and now husband would dare to sacrifice his own life for his without telling him.

It is a constant reminder that he lost him, even if momentarily.

“Ah Xu, why are you are staring at me like that? You’re going to make me shy. Did you miss me? I was only gone for two days,” Wen Kexing says unabashedly during dinner.

At once, coughs and chokes go around the table, and the clanking of dropped chopsticks on the table echo through the dining hall.

Zhou Zishu takes a deep breath to compose himself and resists the urge to fight with the man over dinner. It would be a waste of food, not to mention a futile argument seeing that Wen Kexing has not changed at all since the first time they met. As long as he does not break out into poetry-

“Ah Xu, I missed you too. It is so fortunate that your heart is akin to mine-“

At that, everyone immediately stands from the table and excuses themselves, stumbling over one another as they parrot that they are full and do not want to have anymore.

It is an open secret that they are together — not because they are hiding it, but simply because they find no need to verbalize what they are to others — and if it was another couple that was stuck in this situation, he would possibly find it amusing, but Wen Kexing is incorrigible and has been for years. 

Zhou Zishu finds that while he loves the man and is utterly devoted to him, is willing to die for him, at times like these maybe they should have both just stayed dead.

“Wen Kexing, have you had enough?”

He reaches out, intending to pinch at Wen Kexing as a lesson, but the man catches his hand within his deft fingers and brings it upwards so his hand is cupping one side of his face. Wen Kexing turns his head a little to press his lips to the open palm, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“I missed you,” Wen Kexing repeats. “It’s strange how it has only been two days, but I miss you like I’ve never missed anything else before.”

The impending reprimand dies on his lips.

Fine, just this once.

Zhou Zishu sighs and pinches at Wen Kexing’s cheek instead.

“Ow, ow! Ah Xu, Ah Xu, this face is a work of the heavens, how can you trample on it like this?!”

Zhou Zishu’s eyes are once again drawn to Wen Kexing’s white locks, and he unconsciously reaches out.

As if knowing what Zhou Zishu is thinking about, Wen Kexing grabs for the hand again, interlacing their fingers together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before I faked my death, and then not telling you at the end, before I….” Wen Kexing says, swallowing with difficulty. “Ah Xu, if I could change it, I would. But at the end, if I was given the same choice, I would have chosen the same.”

It hurts to think about that morning, seeing Wen Kexing’s hair all white and almost lifeless, his hands dropping from his.

“I know,” Zhou Zishu breathes, hiding his face in Wen Kexing’s shoulder. “I know.”

===

Zhou Zishu hears of the supposed ambush on Four Seasons Manor while he  has half a day’s journey left before he gets home.

The unrest in jianghu truly never ends; their fight with the Scorpions, with Tian Chuang, with Prince Jin and Zhao Jing was rewarded with peace for a few years, but people never say contented for long. Old sects are wiped out and new ones emerge. Most of them know not to mess with Four Seasons Manor as his and Wen Kexing’s reputations indeed precede themselves, but it is unavoidable, perhaps, for some newer and ambitious ones to mistakenly think they can take both of them on.

Well, they must have made sure Zhou Zishu was not in the manor before striking, as if Wen Kexing could not take all of them on himself.

He arrives in the nick of time in the heat of battle, although a quick glance shows that Four Seasons Manor is still holding up pretty well, with Zhang Chengling and Bi Xingming leading the rest of the disciples.

And there he is, Wen Kexing, all regal in his red embroidered robes, and his white hair pinned up neatly. Every movement from his sharp and deadly fan strikes true. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly, his eyes revealing a thirst for blood that Zhou Zishu hasn’t seen in a while.

He shivers at the want that hits him, even though it is not the time and place for it.

Zhou Zishu lands opportunely behind Wen Kexing and parries a blow that was coming straight for Wen Kexing back.

The both of them exchange a glance, and wordlessly, delve right back into the fight.

When the dust settles a few hours later, Zhou Zishu makes sure injured disciples are looked at while others clean up the mess. His attention finally freed up so he can focus solely on Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu turns, only to see his husband a distance away from him, supporting himself against a wall.

He recognizes the signs of Wen Kexing’s brain-splitting headaches immediately, and rushes over.

“Lao Wen!”

“Shishu!”

Zhou Zishu catches Wen Kexing just as he collapses, his legs giving out under him. His fingers immediately search for Wen Kexing’s pulse.

This is an all-too familiar scene, but Zhou Zishu cannot remember when this last happened. His body growing cold at the implications, all the fears are now suddenly dredged up from the trenches of trauma sustained at a point in time long ago.

“Go get Physician Yao,” Zhou Zishu snaps at whichever disciple is standing closest to them, before picking Wen Kexing up.

Zhang Chengling turns up in their room before the physician does, and whatever fear he is experiencing right now abates slightly.

Before the manor started to grow, there was only the three of them. If anyone understands what he is feeling right now, it would be Chengling.

“Shifu…” he says, trailing off as he kneels down next to the bed and looks at Wen Kexing. “Shishu hasn’t had this in years, what happened?”

“Maybe… I don’t know,” Zhou Zishu exhales heavily. “He could be just.. too tired.”

They watch over him until the physician arrives. Zhou Zishu refuses to be chased out, and the tightness in his chest only disappears once she rolls her eyes at him after testing Wen Kexing’s pulse.

“The both of you are not young anymore,” Physician Yao almost scoffs. “And the injuries and illnesses that the both of you share combined can fill up a list a mile long. He hasn’t exerted himself like this in a long while, suddenly letting it all out in a fight like that, of course there are bound to be side effects. Stop looking at him as if he’s about to die.”

Zhou Zishu is about to thank her, when a weak rasp comes from the bed, “… been there, done that.”

Relief floods him at the sound of Wen Kexing’s voice, and immediately after, anger burns hot through him as the man’s words sink in, “Wen Kexing!”

Physician Yao retreats, knowing by now not to give instructions to them both when they get like this. Instead, speaking to any of their disciples would be much more reliable.

===

Later, after all has quietened down for certain, the stench of blood fading somewhat, Wen Kexing blinks languidly, not wanting to move at all, or do anything.

If he was to die in this position right now, he would have zero complaints.

Zhou Zishu pats at the back of his head gently as Wen Kexing lies almost half on him, his ear pressed over Zhou Zishu’s heart, comforted by the strong beat. Years later, the both of them approaching the big five-o, and Wen Kexing is still like a child sometimes.

Well, he’s making up for lost time.

He is greedy for more years with Ah Xu, in this life and every single life after. A hundred, a thousand years and more. Every little bit, he wants to spend with Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu,” he murmurs, and feels the vibration of the man’s response through his chest, “Before, I could not have what I wanted. I could not play when I wanted to, there was no one to teach me martial arts when I wanted to learn and the things I wanted I could not afford.”

“The person I wanted to keep, I was too late.”

This conversation seems so far away now, but is as clear to the both of them as if it happened just yesterday. That rainy, storming night.

A night of despair and hopelessness.

Zhou Zishu huffs in amusement.

“And now?” he asks.

Wen Kexing looks up, and cheekily responds, “Well, the martial arts part aside, Ah Xu, you pay for everything now, so I can afford everything! And in terms of play… you would know best how well I play now with-“

He’s cut off with a warning look from Zhou Zishu, although the man does not attempt to jostle him, still worried about his earlier headache and injuries sustained from the fight.

Wen Kexing loves this man, to the depths of hell and back.

“And… the person I want to keep, is right here with me.”

Zhou Zishu’s answering smile lights up every fibre of being.

They have forever to look forward to.

***

#tian ya ke #faraway wanderers #shan he ling #word of honor #wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #shl fic #hahaha yeah #technically spoilers but all the eps are out now so #whatever hahahaha #read at your own risk

[aonogifreactions]

Rin thirst headcanons nobody asked for

MINORS/EMPTY AND AGELESS BLOGS DONT INTERACT YOU WILL BE BLOCKED :)

a/n: n/sfw!! totally random headcanons i started writing bc i was t h i r s t y. enjoy <3 im sorry i was so chaotic, my mind no worky!! ><

Words: 1,3k.

Rin:

hear me out. he’s usually the one that initiates everything, but sometimes he enjoys if you take the matter into your own hands... literally. he loves when you stroke his cock softly, just to tease him; he’s gonna whine and moan quietly, gasping when you fasten the pace, gripping the sheets so hard he almost rips them apart.

his hips are jerking into your hand to get even more friction, his eyes tear up due to the pleasure he’s getting; his tail wraps itself onto your other wrist mindlessly, urging you to let him cum.

He's trying not to let out any sounds, so he covers his mouth with his hand; you, however, take his hand away from his mouth and encourage him to moan even more, "I wanna hear you, Rin. I wanna know if what I'm doing it's okay. Please."

once your hand gets covered with his cum (and boy ITS A LOT), his hips jerk a few more times until he recovers. his tail unwraps and he apologizes to you with rosy cheeks; he kisses you on the lips gently as a thank you afterwards.

now, the sight of him inserting his dick into your pussy is so lovely; whether you notice it or not, he’s always looking how it disappears within your sweet, wet pussy. when you clench on him when he inserts it, oh god you’re about to witness the most beautiful face expressions you’ve ever seen.

It's like.. he's almost hypnotized. His face is calm, slightly adored with a blush, yet it has that dark vibe; his eyebrows furrow together, as his lips part a little. He then places his hands on the bed and pushes his hips further inside you - yet, his eyes jerk from your cunt to your face, at which he looks almost drunk-like; his very much own twists in pleasure. His eyes furrow again, but this time he looks into your eyes; his gaze is so intense that when you look closely enough you can see his pupils dilating. Rin hisses and moans, biting his bottom lip and drawing blood by accident. His eyes close and he grunts once he feels like he's balls deep inside you.

he hisses every time you clench on him, and I'm not even making it up. his dick is so sensitive (or so he thinks) that he can’t think properly; the way your walls hug him so tightly drives him insane. he’s about to sob when he feels like he’s gonna cum, Rin completely loses himself and his thrusts become erratic, yet faster at the same time; he just needs that sweet release and he’ll do ANYTHING to get it.

Going a little back to the jacking off headcanons. He gets horny at random times of the day, usually in the evening when he has his free time. You two could cuddle and watch a movie, then suddenly he's nuzzling his head into your chest or kissing your neck; "I'm sorry, I've been holding myself back all day... I know you're tired, but please, just today okay? I'll make it up to you, I promise." Then nuzzles his cheek into yours softly. He does feel bad whenever his horny brain starts acting up, but if he says that he'll make it up... He will. And twice as much.

Speaking about making up, he’s gonna try to scare you with his teeth. Not literally, but he’ll tease you by biting your coochie a little. not painfully, it’s more for shits and giggles if he’s in the mood. he’ll bite you here and there, especially your sensitive clit; the feeling of his massive teeth is surely different than normal, human ones. he likes to use hit tongue too, and believe me he can flicker that fucking tongue so fast against your pearl to the point that he’s disappointed you came so fast.

on days that he feels more gentle and less like teasing you, he’s gonna press tiny kisses on your exposed cunt. he ALWAYS finishes oral with the final kiss on your pubic crease and then lies on you with his head on your chest, so you can play with his hair. good boy deserves a reward, doesn’t he?

it’s always so cute how he gets horny. he tends to stick to you a lot, and if he’s desperate in public, he’ll take advantage every time if you happen to stay in front of him, so he can press his hardness against your ass. Rin in general gets really subby and leans to your touch, even if it's just you touching his face like caressing his cheek. Speaking about cheeks! They get that rosy color, his behavior changes too - he appears tired to others, but.. he isn’t tired by any means. He WANTS to get tired. His eyes seem heavy and somewhat half-lidded, and his tail is “for some reason” always near you, teasing you with its tip, sometimes even sneaking under your shirt and drawing invisible patterns on your back.

literally, he’s just looking at you like:

don't judge him, he’s just horny.

jokes aside, he has really pretty balls. will I elaborate on this one? no. why? everyone considers “pretty” differently, so I leave this one for your own imagination. 

we’ve talked about his tail, but let's talk about his pointy ears. they’re sensitive too, but not as much as the tail. Rin loves ear massages, but usually, you end up with him rubbing his thighs in shame. He feels guilty for being aroused, since all you wanted to do was to get rid of the stress he had, but oh well.

this man. THIS MAN. SIT ON HIS FACE. in fact, not only there. he’ll eat you out like a starving man. he likes having you on top of him and watching you bounce on his dick; he’s gonna play with your tits, knead them, kiss them, whatever he’s able to do, really, especially if he’s lying on his back - he’s addicted to that sight and often encourages you to ride him, considering that you can have your own pace as well. that was the longest sentence ever, anyway.

cuddlefuck? cuddlefuck. just casually doing nothing and suddenly he’s kissing all over you and trying to tease you through your panties.

here I present you me thirsting:

do you see his fucking back? these m u s c l e s? Kato's fucking testing me BUT HERE I GO.

If he notices you simping over his back? oh baby he’s gonna tease you so bad. mostly for shits and giggles, but he WILL take his hoodies/shirts off just to flex. he enjoys if you run your hands down his back when he’s shirtless. if you have acrylic nails, oh boy scratch his back anytime. he LOVES the feeling of acrylics.

wash his back?? massage his shoulders?? he’s GONE. sleeps instantly but you have an occasion to touch that muscles all you want.

okay but.. him showering?? how water droplets run down his back?? I am DECEASED

not really into fucking in the shower cus he’s afraid he might slip, (that’s probably happened already...) but petting? teasing your pussy? his hands slowly moving upwards and playing with your nipples while he stands behind you? you don’t have to ask twice. in fact, not at all. showering with him never ends up with either of you being actually clean.

he’s tried to tease your slit with his tail once. you ended up laughing your ass off because instead of getting more turned on, you started to laugh because it tickled you. Rin? eMBARRASSED. almost started crying with his dick rock hard.

#Ao no Exorcist #blue exorcist #rin okumura #Rin Okumura x reader #Headcanon #oops

[immacaria]

Prologue

  Hello! How are you? I hope all of you are alright! So, this for Beetober 2021 and since @bloody-bee-tea said we can write for it too, I wrote this little thing. This fic is based on this prompt of @mingcheng-prompts and I hope that you enjoy it! It has no ship, though one of the prompts I based myself in had this intent, but it can be read as pre-relationship sangcheng or pre relationship mingcheng. Anyways, the word count is 2746 words and I hope you enjoy this a lot! Have a good day!

________________________________________________________________

  When the news reached him, Nie Mingjue couldn’t say that it really impacted him though he was surprised by it and mourned the young life lost. Jiang Wanyin was a good kid and his brother’s friend and his death did shock him because he seemed like a promising young cultivator and a pretty strong kid even if he was so young. So, he paid his condolences to the family and moved on with his life, after all, he had a sect to conduct and a younger brother to control. 

  Months passed and people still talked about the young Jiang heir and his short life. Some said that he had taken his own life because of his mother’s constant demands and his father’s disinterest on him, others that it was his own father that arranged his death to guarantee that his first disciple would become his heir after his daughter married into the Jins and there was who believed in the official report that said that Jiang Wanyin had died in a night hunt. Not that Nie Mingjue had any motives to suspect what the Jiang clan said that happened. 

 But he couldn’t say with certainty that he held no doubts against their reports as he stared at the sword pointing at his neck. At first, he thought he was seeing a ghost, a young boy with pale robes and a bloodied sword by his side, and stayed back to see what he was going to do. And then he blinked and the boy disappeared from before his eyes, only to appear behind him with his sword pointed to his heart. 

  Nie Mingjue drew Baxia out on instinct and they fought for a good while, sometimes with him having the upper hand and sometimes with the boy. He was about to get it back when the boy ducked and swept his feet off the ground, falling over him and pressing a knee against his chest and the sword against his neck. He was wearing a mask that showed only his eyes and held half of his hair up by a pale and simple purple ribbon that matched his robes in color and discretion. It was just then that he recognized who he had been fighting against. Oh, gods, Huaisang is going to kill me., he thought as he said. “Jiang Wanyin?”

  “Nie-zongzhu?” Jiang Wanyin said, eyebrows furrowing lightly before his eyes widened and he jumped back, bowing in apology but not sheathing his sword back. “What are you doing here?” 

  “I could ask you the same. Shouldn’t you be dead?” Slowly, he got up and if he wasn’t looking so closely, he would have missed the way that his eyes trembled slightly before they narrowed angrily at him. 

  “I’ll ask you one more time. What are you doing here?” He brought his sword up, assuming a defensive stance even though he moved Baxia back to his back. 

  “Near Qinghe? I don’t know, making the rounds, maybe.” And escaping my elders., he added mentally. Not that he was going to tell him that, anyways. 

  “Oh. Oh!” He brought his sword down again and Mingjue resisted the urge to smile at the cute way he opened his mouth minutely, as if finally realizing that he was near Qinghe. “I’m just passing, sorry for trespassing.” He bowed again, bringing his hands up after he put his sword back in its sheath. “Please, don’t tell anyone you saw me.” 

  “No that anyone would ever believe me. You are dead, after all.” He said, watching as the younger boy kneeled near a tree and started pulling some plants before pressing them together until a plaster was formed. “Are you hurt?” 

  “No. I’m doing this for fun.” He moved his head to the sides quickly, his voice reaching a false and too happy tone before going back to his usual tone and this time he didn’t resist the urge to snort. “Shouldn’t you keep going? You never know what kind of creatures are waiting in the shadows while you are here with a minor ghost like me.” 

  “I don’t think you would be a minor ghost if you were really dead.” He stepped closer to him in time to see a gushing wound on his calf. “What happened?” 

  “I cut myself. Nothing more.” And it was just then that he noticed how pale Jiang Wanyin looked and how his hands were trembling as he applied the plaster over the black-rimmed wound. Nie Mingjue tried to remember what could do a wound like that as he bandaged it tightly. “Bye, Nie-zongzhu. Have a good day.” 

  “Wait, Young Master Jiang.” He grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop. “You should have a look at that, a professional look. It looks bad.” 

  “Ghosts don’t need healers, Sect Leader Nie.” He pulled his arm back, trying to get him to let go. “And don’t call me that. Young Master Jiang is dead, haven't you heard?” 

  “Then who are you?” They stared at each other for some time before he sighed and motioned for him to lead the way. 

  “Go on, let’s end this soon.” He stepped aside, stopping fighting against his hold. 

  “Alright, but what should I call you?” He pressed, letting go of his wrist and taking a step back. 

  “Ghos-...” He stated, before his eyes rolled back and he fell down to the ground, only missing hitting his head because Mingjue held him in time. Without thinking, he jumped on Baxia and fled back to Qinghe with the boy, who shouldn’t be as alive as he was, in his arms and paleing at every second that passed. His healers looked at him suspiciously and tried to fuss over him too, but nodded when he said he was fine and asked for discretion and no comments before he went to fetch his brother. 

  After he explained everything, Nie Huaisang only nodded and told him to go on with his day, that he would make sure that his friend was okay. It was well after lunch when he appeared again with a fierce look on his face and a plan at the tip of his tongue. Apparently, Jiang Wanyin wasn't going anywhere anytime soon because the wound was poisoned and the plaster had the contrary effect of what he thought it would, quickening the poisoning and because Nie Huaisang himself wasn’t letting him go anywhere. 

  “For all the effects, he is our cousin and his courtesy name is Nie Qinghua, he uses a mask because it’s tradition on that branch of the family and his passing time with us for better education.” Nie Huaisang said, opening his fan with a flick of his wrist and staring at him with what seemed a challenge. “He is not coming back, Da-ge.”

  “Alright. And I really doubt he would like to, with the way he was insisting he was dead.” Nie Mingjue said, putting the letter of the Sect Leader Yao down and his chin on his palm. “Does he agree with this? Or did you just take a half-coherent noise as agreement and follow through with your plan?” 

  “Of course he agreed with this.” His fan quickened in speed and he raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll ask him again when he’s more awake.” 

  “Good.” He smirked, getting back to the letter. “What is his given name?” 

  “The same as before. But nobody from before is getting close enough of him to call him by his given name.” His brother got up, closing his fan with a snap before pointing it at him. “He is not going back to them, Da-ge. He is not.” The challenge was still on his eyes as he walked away from the throne room and Nie Mingjue thought that everyone who ever said that he was weak and unfit for the Nie clan had never truly seen where Huaisang’s strength really stood. 

  Two days later, Jiang Wanyin - for the outsider world, Nie Qinghua now - was up and actively agreeing with Huaisang’s plan. He explained that no, he did not die or faked his death but rather got lost after a night hunt and slightly disoriented after a particularly strong hit - At this, his cheek got adorably red and Nie Mingjue smiled at that. When he finally managed to get back home, he heard the rumors that he was dead and then he left, starting to wander around as a rogue cultivator. The gushing wound was apparently the night hunt’s fault too. 

  And just like that, Wanyin started to live with them and, at some point, he became Nie Mingjue’s first adviser and Nie Huaisang’s unwilling model to everything. Slowly, he wriggled his way into Qinghe’s lifestyle, starting to advise him over his shoulder and his acid humor while join the disciples every day on their training to learn the Nie style of fighting even if both Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue said that he didn’t need to. After he recovered fully, both of them started to spare everyday, early in the morning, finishing their exercise right before Nie Huaisang woke up and claimed him fully until he was needed in a meeting or something. 

  Despite his young age, Jiang Wanyin was really smart and had good ideas to help the clan, though some did have that eager hope that everyone was better than they seemed. He liked to discuss everything about the leadership of a clan and involved himself truly with the disciple’s training, supervisioning it every time he could and always wanting to know more about everything and everyone. He was strict, though, stricter than Nie Mingjue sometimes and more times than now they would be in a situation where they would be playing the strict and relaxed parents while his disciples tried to hide their amused laughs and grins behind their sleeves and each other’s shoulders. 

  When the cultivation meeting’s happened, Jiang Wanyin always sat between him and Nie Huaisang, wearing the mask that they ordered especially for him and combined with his new robes. At first, the other Sect Leaders were suspicious of him, especially Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao, who had been recently officialized after he proved his value. They tried to discover more about his past, but they weren’t capable of passing Nie Huaisang’s schemes and the Qinghe people’s loyalty to their new second in command that somehow managed to be even more hard-headed than their Sect Leader. 

  Even though they were suspicious, none of them suspected who Nie Qinghua really was and it was obvious it got to Jiang Wanyin when he introduced himself to his shije and shige again and none of them recognized him, simply smiling politely and introducing themselves back before leaving. He tried to make it look like it didn’t affect him as much as it did, but by that time Nie Mingjue knew him a little bit better and, not for the first, he wished he could declare war against the Jiangs for making this special and sweet boy so self-conscious and afraid of love. For the looks of it, his people agreed with him. 

  Eight years passed without further incidents and Jiang Wanyin had grown up a lot since he became Nie Qinghua. He learned a lot of the Nie’s style and some of the disciples, the younger ones especially, started to pick up on some of the Jiang’s style and Nie Mingjue couldn’t say he was really angry or offended at it. Not when it not only saved some of them, but made Wanyin’s eyes light up when he noticed that they were imitating. 

  But, nothing lasts forever and though their time together wasn’t free of worries and fights, Nie Mingjue couldn’t really say that he had a bad time with him by his side. It was some months before Wanyin’s twenty-four years birthday when his first qi deviation happened and he didn’t want to think why it took longer than it should. He stayed bedridden for only four days before he was up and working again, against both Wanyin and Huaisang’s protests, right in time for the last cultivation conference that unfortunately was being held at Qinghe. 

  “Mingjue, really, you should call this off. You are in no condition to head a meeting like this.” Jiang Wanyin said, crossing his arms as Nie Mingjue finished the last of his braids. 

  “Exactly, Da-ge! If you won’t listen to me, listen to A-Cheng!” Nie Huaisang said, passing his guan to him and hitting his shoulder weakly with his fan. “Just thought about all the bragging that Sect Leader Yao is going to do and how Sect Leader Jin is going to do whatever pleases him and nitpick everything!” He pleaded and Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at them as he stood up. 

  “I did and if the Healer Zhao says I am good to go, then I’m good to go.” He tightened his belt and turned to both of them with a raised eyebrow. “I’m fine, I’m going to be fine and if Sect Leader Yao starts to talk too much bullshit, I will simply throw Baxia at him and keep going.” 

  “Da-ge, do not throw Baxia at Sect Leader Yao!” Nie Huaisang said, following after him before stopping on his track with a questioning look. “Though it would be hilarious to see it and, probably, very effective. Alright, Da-ge, you can throw Baxia at Sect Leader Yao but only enough to scare him.” He nodded and Jiang Wanyin chuckled beside, his arms still crossed as he followed them a few steps behind. 

  “He would jump so high!” He chuckled, trying to hold back his smile as Nie Mingjue looked at him over his shoulder. 

  “And what about the scream he would let out?” He asked, very pleased with himself when both him and his brother started snickering like crazies. Really, he raised two monsters, he really did. “Ok, ok, control yourselves, we are here.” Two minutes passed before he stepped into the conference room and greeted all the other Sect Leaders there, sitting on his chair and trying to not let any anger settle in. It was all going fine and smooth until Jin Guangshan made an unfortunate comment and Jiang Wanyin responded it with sarcasm out of instinct. 

  “What was that, Nie-guwen?” Jin Guangshan said and Nie Mingjue immediately zoomed back in the conversation when he noticed it was to Wanyin he was talking with. 

  “Nothing, just agreeing that it's a very intelligent idea to go on with that marriage agreement when both parties are so interested in it.” He shrugged and Mingjue leaned towards Nie Huaisang with an inquisitive look. 

  “They are talking about Jiang-guniang and Jin-gongzi's marriage, Da-ge. Really, weren’t you listening?” He rolled his eyes, holding his fan higher as Jin Guangshan pointed at Wanyin and asked what the Nie clan had to do with the agreement between the clans Jin and Jiang. 

  “Nothing, Sect Leader Jin. But my cousin was only stating what everyone thinks about it and you asked him what he thought about it too, after all.” Nie Mingjue intervened when Wanyin’s shoulders tensed up. “He merely answered.” 

  “Sect Leader Nie, I know that you and your brother are very protective of your cousin, but you should really leave him to talk for himself. He is your advisor, after all.” Jiang Fengmian interjected and he saw Nie Huaisang’s fingers tightening against the fan. “I know he must be very intelligent or he wouldn’t have become your first advisor, after all.” 

  “And doesn’t show his face.” Sect Leader Yao muttered, probably thinking that nobody could hear him when it was exactly the contrary. 

  “I am, Sect Leader Jiang, but it would be very unkind to my cousin if I spoke over him every time.” Jiang Wanyin said, crossing his arms. “And I don’t show my face because of a tradition on my side of the family, Sect Leader Yao, but if my face will give you more trust in my opinions…” He lifted one of his hands, moving to remove his mask. “Then I will gladly remove it for you, Sect Leader Yao.”

  “Wait, A-Hua.” Both Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue moved to stop him, but it was too late and he had already removed it. 

  “See? Happy now?” He waved the piece of cloth to the side as Jiang Fengmian stared at him with wide eyes. 

  “Wanyin?” Fengmian said, getting up from his seat. 

  “Hi, A-Die. How are you?” 

#beetober2021 #bloody-bee-tea #my fic #fanfic #fic #mine #writing #my writing #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #mdzs #mdzs au #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #pre-relationship #alternate universe #au #sangcheng #or minghcheng #i am pretty sure it can be read as both of them #its up to you #runaway!jc #nie!jc #death tw #poisoning tw

[accio-victuuri]

This is really random, but do you know anything about the boys' skin care routines, like what products they use? Their complexions are amazing!

Hello Anon! Aside from good genes? I remember something about face masks.

Web :

I feel like he’s one of those who gets by, with just washing their face. waking up super handsome and with good skin. wow. i can’t relate.

if you watch the DDU cloud episode/s where he had no makeup on. i wanna cry. 🥲

• washing his face + water essence

• He also said it’s because he’s young. in that interview with GG @ Sina! Where he trolled GG (i’m so young, i can recover faster. Aren’t you jealous?). + enough sleep will make your skin look good.

• I think he is not familiar with all the skincare 10-20 step thing. cause look at him while skincare is being explained to him.

• also in an interview he was asked what is his tip for skincare, he said ‘slap it on your face’ 💀

• I MEAN .. This bitch. I love him.

• a big part of it is the food he eats too. boy doesn’t drink milk tea. prefers water. doesn’t have unhealthy vices too.

• This is so funny! beauty blogger Web. Where he murders a lipstick. 🥲

• In Doki Interview, he said doesn’t care much about skin care. He also does not weigh himself.

• ELLE BEAUTY : remove the makeup, and then skin care. Sometimes I use the essence spray, because I often stay up late, so it will be better for my skin.

• In a live for HFP :

I know a lot of fans say Yibo has skin like milk; you like outdoor sports so much, how do you maintain such good skin condition?

W: Youth.

• protecting his face from the sun! Did you see how much sun screen they spray on their faces during CQL shooting? like a house on fire. i think he does this a lot. THIS GOES FOR BOTH HIM & GG. 👇🏼

GG:

Wow! Zhan ge! 91-liner but looks like born in 97! 😂 he is naturally good looking. I’m sorry. lol. He is the visual in everyone’s eyes.

• Web said GG uses face masks a lot. In an interview, Xuan Lu said that Web described GG has a delicate face.

• him saying that it’s important for him to have a good base cause he sweats a lot and make up comes off.

• in an interview he said this : Maybe you guys won’t believe me but I don’t do anything. Sometimes my manager can’t take it when my nose is flaking, she makes me go put on a sheet mask. 😭

• i’m gonna say diet too. All the green tea and fruits he eats. What to eat so he will not bloat. he also mentioned detox, I think, at one point. He is more on traditional medicine too.

• plus he’s just. blessed to be so young looking. 25 year old zhan-ge 👇🏼

This turned into a what they said about skin care post lol. I don’t think they do medical stuff, unlike in other countries where stars endorse skin care clinics. or if they do, not really advertised.

I had fun answering this Ask! Hope this helps Anon! 💛

#ask response

[bloody-bee-tea]

Heal my soul

Jiang Cheng is shaking so hard he is afraid he’ll fall clean off his sword, but he pushes on regardless, Nie Huaisang’s letter clenched in his hand.

It speaks of horrible things; qi deviations and damage so great that Nie Mingjue had to be put into a preserving coma, giving them time to assess the damage and decide if it was too great to heal or not.

Jiang Cheng grits his jaw when he remembers that passage. There is no damage that is too great to heal, especially not when it comes to his husband.

Jiang Cheng makes the fly to the Unclean Realm in record time, feeling faint and shaky once he steps off his sword and he isn’t entirely sure if it is because of his worry for Nie Mingjue or because he thoroughly exhausted himself.

It doesn’t matter either way; he is here and he will see his husband now.

“Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang wails as soon as he sees him and throws himself into Jiang Cheng’s arms.

Jiang Cheng is stunned, but he dutifully catches Nie Huaisang and then he holds him close for a moment.

“How is he?” he asks, voice low and Nie Huaisang’s sob is all the answer he needs.

Jiang Cheng’s heart sinks in his chest, but he tries to remind himself that Nie Mingjue isn’t dead; as long as he’s not dead, Jiang Cheng will be able to do something for him.

“Come,” Nie Huaisang eventually says and drags Jiang Cheng off to see Nie Mingjue. He was put on a bed, laying still and pale as Jiang Cheng has ever seen him and even though they haven’t been husbands long—barely longer than half a year at this point—Jiang Cheng knows enough to know that this is not natural.

Nie Mingjue never is this still.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and rushes to his side where he takes Nie Mingjue’s hand in his.

He immediately checks his meridians and he jerks back when he sees the damage the qi deviation did to his system.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng chokes out, horrified to see just how he has been hurt, but also filled with a strange feeling of pride, because anyone else would have succumbed to these injuries a long time ago.

That Nie Mingjue is still alive—that his people were able to put him into this preserving sleep at all—speaks to a strength Jiang Cheng didn’t think possible.

“How is it?” Nie Huaisang quietly asks him and Jiang Cheng lets out a harsh breath.

“I need to take him with me,” he says, carefully putting Nie Mingjue’s hand back onto the bed.

“What? No!” Nie Huaisang immediately says, and he flicks open his fan in a nervous gesture. “You can’t take da-ge,” he says again, more vehemently and Jiang Cheng levels him with a look.

“This is why you chose me as his spouse,” he lowly says, trying not to let that thought hurt him more than it already does. “To heal him. So let me.”

“Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang starts, but Jiang Cheng is not interested in hearing what he has to say for himself.

He knows damn well that the rumoured healing abilities of the Yunmeng Jiang are the only reason he even came up as a spouse and since this is all Nie Mingjue will ever want from him, he will damn well do his job.

“Huaisang, he comes with me,” Jiang Cheng says again, channelling his Sect Leader authority, and Nie Huaisang stills behind his fan.

“You came alone.”

“So prepare a carriage for us. You can even send that right hand man of his to keep an eye on me if it makes you feel better. I’ll accommodate him, too,” Jiang Cheng says and he feels sick that he even has to bargain with Nie Huaisang like that.

Nie Mingjue’s life is on the line; there shouldn’t even be a question that they have to do everything they can to save him.

“It’s not—will he survive the travel?” Nie Huaisang asks, his voice small and low and Jiang Cheng realizes that it’s just the worry for his brother that makes him unreasonable.

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because he will make sure that Nie Mingjue does.

“Okay,” Nie Huaisang whispers and immediately leaves the room, presumably to make the necessary arrangements.

Jiang Cheng takes the opportunity to sit on Nie Mingjue’s bed again. He takes his hand back up and presses the back of it against his forehead, breaths deliberately deep and steady.

“Don’t do this to me,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “We didn’t even have our one year anniversary yet,” he goes on, even though he knows that this was always a possibility.

Nie Mingjue made no secret out of this; made no secret out of the fact that Jiang Cheng would be a very young widower.

Well, he clearly didn’t count on Jiang Cheng’s stubbornness.

The journey back to Lotus Pier is uneventful, though it drags on and on since they can’t rush it with their precious cargo.

Nie Zonghui keeps looking at Jiang Cheng as if he expects to make a move against Nie Mingjue at any moment now, and if Jiang Cheng wasn’t so worried, if he wasn’t so glad that Nie Mingjue had good people by his side like this, then he’d be pretty damn angry with even the implication that he would harm Nie Mingjue.

He’s not the one who married out of convenience after all.

When they finally reach Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng immediately brings Nie Mingjue into the special healing chamber his family used.

Jiang Cheng debated not rebuilding it with the rest of Lotus Pier at first, because mostly his mother used it whenever she suffered a qi deviation, and Jiang Cheng surprisingly isn’t prone to them himself. But in the end he decided to simply rebuild Lotus Pier as he used to know it; who knew when the chamber would come in handy.

And he is glad for it now, because it means that Nie Mingjue even has a fighting chance of recovering from this.

Jiang Cheng activates the healing array carved into the chamber and once he kicked everyone else out, he immediately goes to work.

He knows how to repair the damage done to Nie Mingjue’s meridians but it will take time; it will take a lot of time, Jiang Cheng realizes once he finished his first thorough examination of Nie Mingjue. The damage is almost irreversible and it will take weeks—if not months—to heal him.

But Jiang Cheng is up for that; there isn’t a thing he won’t do for those he loves and if it means he practically has to live in the chamber as well, then he will do it.

Except, of course, that isn’t how it goes because Jin Ling is still there, and he still needs his jiu-jiu more than anyone else, so of course Jiang Cheng can’t live in the chamber.

His Sect still needs guidance as well, even though they are pretty self-sufficient, and so Jiang Cheng limits himself to two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening by Nie Mingjue’s side. He squeezes in an hour during lunch as well whenever he can manage, but he isn’t happy with it at all.

It will take forever this way, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want Nie Mingjue to suffer more than he really has to. But he doesn’t trust anyone else with healing Nie Mingjue either, and so he grits his teeth and continues with his job.

It is only weeks in, that Jiang Cheng realizes that the qi deviation doesn’t have natural causes.

“What the fuck,” he mumbles as he brushed his qi over the same spot again and again, until he can coax the imprint of a song and some lingering residual qi out of Nie Mingjue’s body.

Jiang Cheng isn’t familiar with the qi, but he knows that there are only two people playing music for Nie Mingjue to help with the qi deviations and he feels hot rage bubble up inside of him when he realizes that one of Nie Mingjue’s sworn brothers must have done it. Or maybe even both.

Zidian sparks on his hand with that realisation and Jiang Cheng quickly removes his hand from Nie Mingjue, unwilling to hurt him even on accident.

But Jiang Cheng can’t be sure, because he doesn’t recognize the qi and so he calls for Nie Zonghui.

“What is it?” Nie Zonghui asks once he is inside the chamber and Jiang Cheng can see the worry clear on his face.

“Come here,” he orders and then he guides Nie Zonghui through the process that led him to uncover this.

“Do you recognize the qi?” he asks him once he is sure that Nie Zonghui understands the implications of what they just found but Nie Zonghui shakes his head.

“No, I don’t. Neither Zewu-jun nor Lianfang-zun allow people to sit in when they play for Mingjue. I always thought it was because they feared he would be distracted, but—”

“Maybe not,” Jiang Cheng finishes weakly and then he shakes his head.

“Who would know?”

“Huaisang,” Nie Zonghui says and Jiang Cheng’s brow raises with the familiar address until Nie Zonghui blushes faintly.

“I’ll write him,” Jiang Cheng finally says, unwilling to embarrassed Nie Zonghui any further and he leaves Nie Mingjue in the capable hands of his most trusted man.

Nie Huaisang arrives in Lotus Pier a few days later, the urgency of the letter clearly not lost on him.

“What is going on?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng leads him into the healing chamber without further explanation.

He guides Nie Huaisang through the same things he showed Nie Zonghui and when they reach the lingering qi, Nie Huaisang’s face darkens.

“San-ge,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng is filled with so much rage that his entire vision goes red.

Zidian sparks on his hand but Jiang Cheng forces himself to calm down. Jin Guangyao isn’t here; there’s no need to lose control like this.

“How do you even know something like this?” Nie Huaisang asks and while the attempt at a distraction is painfully obvious, it’s also painfully effective.

“My mother got qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng tells him, aiming for calm, but probably missing by a mile. “I was tasked with healing her, and the qi deviations weren’t always of a natural course. Not all of them stemmed from her temper; sometimes the faint imprint of my father’s uncaring words would linger behind in her meridians,” Jiang Cheng admits and speaking of his family like this doesn’t hurt as much as it probably should have.

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispers and Jiang Cheng awkwardly shrugs.

“It’s in the past.”

They sit in silence for a moment, before Nie Zonghui knocks to announce his arrival.

“Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun are here to see Mingjue,” he tells them and the rage rises in Jiang Cheng as if it never left in the first place.

“I will deal with them,” Nie Huaisang quickly says, eying the sparking Zidian with worry and Jiang Cheng reaches out for his sleeve.

“I want him dead,” Jiang Cheng says, because this is the only thing he can think right now.

Jin Guangyao is the reason Jiang Cheng almost became a widower; he is the reason Nie Huaisang has to lead a Sect he was never meant to lead. Jiang Cheng wants him to pay for that.

“I don’t care how you do it, but I want him dead.”

Nie Huaisang flicks his fan open to hide his calculating look but Jiang Cheng knows him better than that. They spent a year studying together and he has watched how effortlessly Nie Huaisang took over as Sect Leader.

He is by far not as innocent as he seems.

“He will be,” is all Nie Huaisang eventually says and then he leaves Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue behind.

Jiang Cheng is definitely looking forward to Jin Guangyao’s eventual demise.

~*~*~

“Jiu-jiu, why are you always in that one room?” Jin Ling asks him one day during lunch and Jiang Cheng figures that he should maybe tell his nephew that his husband is in there.

“I will show you,” he promises him and Jin Ling immediately bounces in his seat with excitement.

He does take Jin Ling there after lunch, but before they enter the chamber he stops him with a hand to his shoulder.

“Nie Mingjue is in there,” he explains and Jin Ling hangs on to his every word with big eyes. “He’s my husband, even though you might not really remember that. He��s been hurt and he is sleeping for now. You have to be quiet and careful with him,” Jiang Cheng instructs Jin Ling, who immediately calms down.

“I remember that,” Jin Ling says, clearly proud of himself for that and Jiang Cheng smiles slightly.

Jin Ling just turned five so while he might remember that Jiang Cheng is married, Jiang Cheng is sure that he doesn’t understand quite just what being married means.

“Good boy,” he still praises Jin Ling and then he pushes the door open to reveal Nie Mingjue, who is still sleeping but looking better by the day.

“He’s so huge,” Jin Ling whispers and then slaps a hand over his mouth, carefully looking up at Jiang Cheng.

“He is,” he agrees with a slight smile and imagines how imposing Nie Mingjue must look to someone as small as Jin Ling.

“Why is he sleeping in here?” Jin Ling asks and Jiang Cheng picks him up to settle him on his lap as he sits down next to Nie Mingjue.

“Because he is hurt and this chamber helps him heal,” Jiang Cheng explains and he goes a little bit misty eyed when Jin Ling reaches out to pet Nie Mingjue’s hand.

“Yifu has to wake up soon,” he whispers, deliberately keeping his eyes on Nie Mingjue. “Jiu-jiu has been sad without you.”

“A-Ling,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and presses Jin Ling closer to his chest, pressing a kiss to his head.

“Jiu-jiu, too strong,” Jin Ling complaints and Jiang Cheng immediately loosens his arms, but he doesn’t let him go completely, and Jin Ling doesn’t wriggle out of his embrace.

“Listen, you have to talk to him,” Jin Ling suddenly says and looks up at Jiang Cheng. “He’s just laying there, it’s so boring! You have to tell him about your day!”

Jiang Cheng chuckles slightly, because even though it’s a healing sleep and Nie Mingjue is unlikely to hear anything that is being said to him, that’s exactly what Jiang Cheng has been doing for a while now.

“Why don’t you tell him something, for a change? I’m sure he’s tired of hearing my voice by now,” Jiang Cheng gently encourages Jin Ling who pouts up at him.

“Not true, jiu-jiu’s voice is the best,” Jin Ling declares, but then he does dive right into a recollection of his past week at Lotus Pier.

Jiang Cheng knows most of it already, of course, but he’s happy to stay and listen to Jin Ling blabber away.

He tries not to think about the fact that being with the two people he loves the most is strangely comforting, because Nie Mingjue is still unconscious and hurt after all, but it’s exactly what he’s thinking about.

Jiang Cheng can’t even be mad at himself for that.

~*~*~

Nie Mingjue wakes up four months after his qi deviation.

Jiang Cheng isn’t around to see it, but Nie Zonghui immediately calls for him once it happens, so at least Jiang Cheng has some time to steel himself to come face to face with Nie Mingjue.

He is still in the chamber when Jiang Cheng comes to see him, clearly too weak to immediately walk somewhere else, but he’s sitting up and he looks healthy and that is really all Jiang Cheng ever wanted for him.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue greets him and Jiang Cheng bows slightly to him. “None of that,” Nie Mingjue chastises him and beckons him closer. “I hear my recovery is thanks to you,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile and Jiang Cheng nods, unsure what he’s supposed to say to that.

It was a lot easier to talk to Nie Mingjue when he was still sleeping, Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking and then immediately afterwards he wants to kick himself.

Nothing is better than having Nie Mingjue being awake and obviously healthy again.

“I only did my duty,” Jiang Cheng presses out and bows his head towards Nie Mingjue again. “I already wrote to Huaisang, he will no doubt be coming soon to take you back to Qinghe,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say, because he knows that this is what Nie Mingjue wants.

He never did well with being apart from his Sect, and he must be anxious to get back to it.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and even without looking up Jiang Cheng can tell that there’s a frown on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You must be anxious to go home,” Jiang Cheng says, without meeting Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

“Aren’t I home?” Nie Mingjue asks and it’s so surprising that it startles Jiang Cheng into looking at him. “You’re my husband, are you not? Doesn’t that make Lotus Pier my home, too?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and while it’s everything that Jiang Cheng ever wanted to hear, he shakes his head.

“Please,” he almost scoffs out. “We both know this marriage isn’t about that.”

“What is this marriage about then?” Nie Mingjue asks and he sounds honestly curious.

Jiang Cheng can’t even find it in him to hate Nie Mingjue a little bit for making Jiang Cheng say it.

“About this,” he says with a gesture to the room. “I’m pretty sure Nie Huaisang only brought up my name back then because of this. Because I could probably heal you if something should go wrong. And I did, so I guess I served my purpose,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says.

There’s a long moment of silence before Nie Mingjue speaks again and it makes Jiang Cheng uneasy.

“This is not why I married you,” Nie Mingjue eventually speaks up, his voice low and soft and Jiang Cheng can’t help the snort that comes out at that.

Of course it’s why Nie Mingjue married him. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why he is so intent on pretending anything else now.

“It was the reason your name first came up, that’s right,” Nie Mingjue goes on, and Jiang Cheng’s heart drops right to the floor at hearing his fears confirmed. “But it’s not why I agreed to marry you in the end.”

“Right,” Jiang Cheng huffs out. “What are the reasons then?” he demands to know, his voice bitter and angry but when he looks at Nie Mingjue he deflates.

The look on Nie Mingjue’s face is entirely too soft for Jiang Cheng to take.

“I married you because you’re strong and fierce. Because you love with your whole heart and you would die to protect those you love. I married you because you’re beautiful and sharp and one of the strongest Sect Leader I know. Yes, your name first came up because of your healing abilities; but I would have never married you out of such selfish reasons,” Nie Mingjue says. “I married you because I wanted to. Because I fell in love with you.”

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and he inexplicably feels like crying.

“Why did you marry me? If you think I only married you because of what you can do for me, then why did you agree?” Nie Mingjue asks him and Jiang Cheng blushes.

“I’m not good with words,” he mumbles, anxiously turning Zidian on his finger. “I can’t give you a half dozen reasons why I married you.”

“Just give me one,” Nie Mingjue whispers and reaches out to take Jiang Cheng’s hand in his. “Just give me one reason.”

“Because I’m in love with you,” Jiang Cheng admits, even though his face feels like it’s going to go up in flames.

There are a dozen different things he could say about Nie Mingjue and why he first caught his eye and how he managed to keep it, but Jiang Cheng’s throat closes up just thinking about saying them out loud.

When Nie Mingjue raises the hand he just took to press a kiss to the back of it, Jiang Cheng thinks that maybe he doesn’t have to say them all right now for Nie Mingjue to understand.

“I’m not going back yet,” Nie Mingjue tells him once Jiang Cheng feels like he can breathe again and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng look at Nie Mingjue again.

“What?”

“I have to recuperate and I would like to do it here,” Nie Mingjue says with a small shrug. “I am aware that the first few months of our marriage weren’t all that perfect, but this might be our chance. I hear Huaisang is doing pretty well as Sect Leader; let him lead for a while longer. I think I deserve a break after what happened.”

The truth about the qi deviation is on the tip of Jiang Cheng’s tongue, but in the end he doesn’t say anything. He decides to wait for Nie Huaisang, who will be better at explaining than Jiang Cheng is, but deep down Jiang Cheng knows that it’s just out of a selfish desire to not shatter the moment right now.

“I would like that,” Jiang Cheng whispers and when Nie Mingjue tugs on his hand to bring him closer, Jiang Cheng easily follows.

“And I distantly remember someone calling me yifu,” Nie Mingjue mutters and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head as he tucks him into his side. “Did I dream that?”

“No, you didn’t,” Jiang Cheng says with a slight chuckle, because ever since he took Jin Ling here for the first time, the boy has made it a point to come at least every other day to talk to Nie Mingjue about his day.

“I’d like to hear it in person,” Nie Mingjue admits and Jiang Cheng smiles down at their still intertwined hands.

“There’s nothing that will stop him from saying it again once he hears you’re awake,” Jiang Cheng says, because he knows his nephew and Jin Ling will be so excited to hear that Nie Mingjue is awake.

Nie Mingjue sighs at that and Jiang Cheng cranes his head to look at him worriedly.

“I’m sorry about how the first few months of our marriage went,” Nie Mingjue says and brushes his lips over Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he promises.

“You’re in luck,” Jiang Cheng says with a slight smile and a faint blush. “You woke up in time for your one year anniversary.”

A sparkle enters Nie Mingjue’s eyes at that and Jiang Cheng briefly wonders what he got himself into, but then Nie Mingjue presses a whispered “Good,” right into Jiang Cheng lips and every and any thought flees his head.

If this is how Nie Mingjue is going to make it up to him, then Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind that at all.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #hurt/comfort #fluff #married couple #misunderstandings #love confessions

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Extra 5

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths (2)

And so, Cheng Yixie returned to Cheng Qianli's side.

After leaving his first door, Cheng Qianli came down with a fever. He was sent to the ICU that night. Their parents both thought Cheng Qianli wouldn't make it, but only Cheng Yixie knew that Cheng Qianli was welcoming his rebirth.

A few days later, Cheng Qianli left the ICU, his body slowly healing. The first sight that greeted him upon his waking was his brother Cheng Yixie.

Cheng Yixie was sitting on a chair beside his bed, leaning back with his eyes lightly closed, apparently asleep. Cheng Qianli saw the sunlight spill over Cheng Yixie's black hair, making the inky strands seem slightly translucent. Speckled light dripped through tree branches and upon his back, and for a moment, it looked like he had wings. In Cheng Qianli's eyes, Cheng Yixie seemed as holy as an angel fallen from the heavens.

The angel's lashes trembled, and his eyes opened. Sleepiness clouded his dark pupils, and it was only in moments like this when a childlike tenderness could still be seen in his gaze.

"Ge," Cheng Qianli called to him.

The instant he heard this, the child in Cheng Yixie's eyes faded. His gaze returned to their deep, lake-like calmness as he looked at Cheng Yixie.

"Awake? Does it hurt anywhere?"

Cheng Qianli shook his head. "I think I'm pretty okay."

Maybe he was imagining things, but he thought that the bout of sickness this time actually made his body more healthy; the places that were always quietly hurting didn't feel like anything right now.

"Mh," Cheng Yixie said. "Leave with me tomorrow then."

Cheng Qianli was stunned. "Leave? For where?"

Cheng Yixie, "a place that can save your life."

Cheng Qianli stared at Cheng Yixie in a daze. Cheng Yixie thought he'd at least ask some questions, but the fool nodded right then and there, concerned just enough to ask, "have you told mom and dad? They won't stop us, right?"

"No," Cheng Yixie said. "I've already talked to them."

Upon his return this time, he'd gotten a check-up at the hospital. The doctors had been shocked to find his body completely recovered from terminal disease. By all reason, this kind of congenital cardiovascular malformation had no treatment at all given the state of modern medicine, but there hadn't been a single symptom to be found on Cheng Yixie's body.

"Let him come with me. If he stays here he'll die," Cheng Yixie had told his parents. "Only I can save him. I'm the best example."

Faced with Cheng Yixie's somewhat absurd request, their parents had at first been a little hesitant. But after Cheng Yixie used his own healthy body as proof, they'd agreed to it in the end. Because even if they got to keep Cheng Qianli, the doctors didn't have any solutions. Since that was the case, why not let Cheng Yixie have a gamble?

After that, Cheng Yixie successfully took Cheng Qianli with him out of the hospital, and the two returned to Obsidian.

Obsidian was a warm place. Cheng Yixie rejoiced that he had been able to meet such a group of people. But Cheng Qianli was only a kid who practically grew up in the hospital—he was scared of the dark and a wimp. Though his body was growing gradually healthier after entering the doors, he still couldn't manage to extricate himself from that terrifying world.

He couldn't sleep because of the nightmares; every night he came to Cheng Yixie crying, barefoot, hugging a pillow and saying, "Ge, I had a nightmare again…"

Cheng Yixie was at his computer looking up information. He turned his head back and shot Cheng Qianli a look, before gesturing with his chin for Cheng Qianli to get on the bed.

Cheng Qianli obediently crawled into the large bed behind him, staring up at the ceiling in a daze.

"Ge, aren't you scared?"

Cheng Yixie, "scared of what?"

"Of ghosts," Cheng Qianli answered.

"What's so scary about ghosts," Cheng Yixie said. "I'm not scared of ghosts."

"Then what are you scared of?" Cheng Qianli's voice asked from behind him.

This question, Cheng Yixie did not answer for Cheng Qianli. Cool light spilled from the computer screen onto his impassive face. He didn't want to say what he feared out loud, because it felt like if he said it it would come true.

Cheng Qianli didn't pursue the question, either. His even breathing came from behind—he was just a kid, after all. Once he wasn't scared anymore, he fell quickly asleep.

A few days later, Cheng Qianli saw Cheng Yixie come into the house with a furry lump in his arms. Before Cheng Qianli could react, Cheng Yixie was tossing that lump into his arms. The lump perked up its furry little butt and lapped like crazy at Cheng Qianli's cheek with its tongue. It licked Cheng Qianli into giggles, and Cheng Qianli registered then that the lump was an adorable little corgi—he exclaimed in a moment of pure delight, "it's a corgi! Ge!! I love you!!"

Cheng Yixie nodded at Cheng Qianli, turned around, and left.

What kid didn't like animals? It was just that their physical conditions before hadn't allowed them such hobbies. Now that Cheng Qianli was getting healthy, he'd given Cheng Qianli a long-coveted present.

Of course Cheng Qianli was happy beyond words, gobbling up extra bites of dinner that night. He even went around excitedly collecting everybody's opinion on what to name the dog, before finally making a decision—Toast.

Toast was the little corgi's name.

With Toast around, Cheng Qianli's mental state got a lot better. He no longer sought Cheng Yixie out at night because he couldn't sleep.

Cheng Yixie would sometimes go to his room and check on him in the middle of the night. He'd see the kid sprawled out with limbs akimbo, bent in all sorts of strange ways on the bed. And Toast would be lying right next to him, sleeping with its belly up—the two of them, one large and one small, made a particularly harmonious scene.

And Cheng Yixie would look away. When he closed the door behind him that night, he saw Ruan Nanzhu standing and smoking in the hallway.

"You're up so late?" Ruan Nanzhu asked him.

"Mh," Cheng Yixie said. "Couldn't sleep."

"It's his second door in two days. Nervous?" Ruan Nanzhu said.

Cheng Yixie was silent for a while, before nodding and admitting to the anxiety deep in his heart.

"It's never easy." Ruan Nanzhu stubbed out his cigarette. "And you're still so young…I'll go in with you."

Cheng Yixie thanked Ruan Nanzhu in response.

Ruan Nanzhu said nothing, just started back to his room. But when he pushed his door open, his footsteps halted, and he looked back at Cheng Yixie.

"But he'll have to grow up sooner or later."

Cheng Yixie met Ruan Nanzhu's eyes. He knew what Ruan Nanzhu meant.

"You can't protect him forever," Ruan Nanzhu said.

"Do you think he can do it?" Cheng Yixie asked. "Do you think, he can come as far as I have?"

Ruan Nanzhu sighed, and said nothing more.

Some things could be achieved with hard work, but other things could only be gotten through talent. Though it wasn't fair, this was the case for the world of the doors.

Some people were naturally suited to enter the doors. They were calm and clever; even in the most dangerous moments, they could think of ways to escape.

But some people couldn't.

Cheng Yixie was a person suited to the doors, but his brother Cheng Qianli was just a regular dumb kid.

Cheng Yixie didn't know how many times he'd fantasized about this—what a fortunate thing it would be if they had healthy bodies.

Cheng Qianli would grow up normally. Perhaps he'd be a bit stupid, and his grades would mean headaches for their parents, but that was fine. He would have a clever older brother. His brother could watch over him.

But all these fantasies were simply wishful thinking.

Cheng Yixie returned to his room. Nobody knew better than he did that Cheng Qianli was not suited to the doors. If things progressed down their regular tracks, Cheng Qianli would most likely very quickly die in the following doors.

But how could Cheng Yixie let all that happen? He'd already decided the path that he would walk.

Three days later, Ruan Nanzhu and the Cheng twins entered Cheng Qianli's second door together.

This door was not particularly difficult, but to Cheng Qianli, it was still horribly thrilling; he was screaming of fright the whole time.

Cheng Yixie asked him, "how the hell did you even survive your first door?"

"I don't know," Cheng Qianli said. "I just went quietly to bed every night, and then one day I saw an open door. It was all bright inside, and after I walked in, I was out…"

Both Cheng Yixie and Ruan Nanzhu sank into a peculiar silence at this. It looked like fortune favors fools really was a wise saying.

After exiting his second door, Cheng Qianli got sick again for over a week. The doctor said it was caused by an excess amount of right.

Cheng Yixie watched over him as he got his IV drip, and Cheng Qianli was all wilted and sticky with sickness. He asked Cheng Yixie, "gege, how do I get better at this?"

Cheng Yixie patted his forehead, saying nothing.

"Will I get better if I stop being scared of ghosts," Cheng Qianli said. "I've decided, I'm going to watch a scary movie every day once we're back…"

Cheng Yixie wanted to sigh, but in the end, couldn't do it. He only spoke lightly, "focus on getting better first. Everything else, there's no rush. Ge's here."

Cheng Qianli nodded obediently.

Cheng Yixie thought Cheng Qianli had only been saying so, but after he got better, he actually did start watching scary movies. And one per day. Every single day he would be curled up in the living room with a blanket wrapped around his entire body, still scaring as badly as a quail each time.

Cheng Yixie was exasperated, but didn't try to talk him out of it. It pretty much looked like Cheng Qianli's courage wasn't something that could be built up.

Though Cheng Qianli wasn't particularly strong, he injected a different kind of life into Obsidian.

When the group grew numb from the torment of the terrifying doors, the upbeat Cheng Qianli was just like an oil pastel, swiping rich colors back onto Obsidian and filling the place with the breath of life.

If only the days could continue on like this, how nice would that be? Cheng Yixie wouldn't think this just the once. Some things, however, couldn't be avoided just by hiding.

Everything changed in Cheng Yixie's seventh door.

That door was vicious beyond measure, and Cheng Yixie was the only survivor. Just as he was stumbling out the door, he got his hands on a hint slip different from all others.

A detailed hint for the next door was written on the slip of paper.

In that moment, Cheng Yixie didn't comprehend just how this hint slip would change the tracks out under his life. He was still rejoicing, rejoicing that he'd once again escaped disaster, rejoicing that he'd gotten a hint to the eighth door, rejoicing that he'd be able to see Cheng Qianli again.

But a long, long time later, when he remembered this moment, he would realize that the Cheng Yixie back then had been standing at the crossroads of fate.

On one side of fate was hell. And on the other, was also hell.

[Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths(1)] | [Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths(3)]

#kaleidoscope of death #xi zixu #cnovel #chinese translation #��亡萬花筒 #my tl pace has slowed :')

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

Next chapter is going to be the longest yet for the sequel! And I know I promised no more 79 knives for a while but sometimes life just... finds a way. There's a lot more happening than YQY being a creep, so I'll give folks that part now. Enjoy this small excerpt!

“Sect Leader.”

“Peak Lord Shen.”

Shen Qingqiu could feel the adrenaline high of learning Binghe was in danger fading and knew he couldn’t let this discussion drag. “This master heard the Sect Leader wanted to see him. Does the Sect Leader have an explanation that can justify his show of force around numerous disciples over such an aim? Or has he experienced a qi deviation and taken leave of his senses?”

“Liu-shidi challenged my authority. Duels have occurred over less.”

“No, I didn’t. I said you couldn’t see Shen Qingqiu without his permission, and he wasn’t awake to give it,” Liu Qingge shouted from behind him.

Yue Qingyuan’s gaze shifted to glare at Liu Qingge only to focus to something like hatred on someone closer to Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu stepped instinctively into his line of sight. “This master has told the Sect Leader countless times that he is an unwelcome on Qing Jing Peak and around this master due to his demonstrated lack of respect for his person. This Peak Lord can only thank Masters Mu, Liu, and Shang for doing their best to uphold this master’s wishes when the Sect Leader has taken every opportunity of late to disregard them.”

Yue Qingyuan was the picture of frustration as he said, “I am trying to help you.”

Bullshit. Bullshit.

Enough politeness. He didn't have time for it.

“No, you are trying to own me,” Yue Qingyuan flinched like the words were a physical blow. “You are trying to punish me for not being what you want, like some misbehaving pet. But I am not yours and I will never be yours, no matter if I recover memories I would like to reiterate I do not want.”

Yue Qingyuan seemed little more than an animated statue, stricken like Shen Qingqiu had said something unimaginable. Then his gaze shifted once more to Shen Qingqiu’s right and what, who he saw there seemed to ground him. “You wouldn’t be saying this if not for Luo Binghe.”

Shen Qingqiu located Binghe with his qi (Did I not tell you to stay hidden?! Binghe, why did you choose now to rebel!?) and then pulled on it to flash step in front of him. “Binghe time traveling has only revealed your true feelings towards me. It is not Binghe who has repeatedly violated my privacy and boundaries. It is not Binghe who makes me feel unsafe. Do you hear me? It is not Binghe. I will never be yours. There is no memory, no power, no sum of money to make me willingly tie myself to you, because you have proven you cannot respect me. And that is no one’s fault but your own.

“Now, be an adult, apologize to Mu Qingfang for the disturbance you have caused on his Peak, and get lost.”

Yue Qingyuan made a sound like he had been stabbed but Shen Qingqiu didn’t care. He was now relying on his cultivation to stay steady and he hoped that Yue Qingyuan took his obvious use of qi as a display of power rather than a desperate attempt to say standing.

Yue Qingyuan looked around as if just noticing that they had an audience that represented a third of the Sect’s Peaks. He cleared his throat and said calmly, “Mu Qingfang, this Sect Leader will make amends at a later date for this incident.”

“Yes, the Sect Leader will, but not just to this master,” Mu Qingfang said, letting the barrier protecting his disciples drop.

Yue Qingyuan looked around at all the eyes on him and ended up looking at Shen Qingqiu once more. Shen Qingqiu said, “There’s nothing you can say to make this better. Just go and stay away from me.”

“…Understood. Xiao-Jiu says to get lost, and this Qi-ge obeys.”

Shen Qingqiu began to snarl, “You–“ but Yue Qingyuan took to his sword and fled the scene. And not a moment too soon.

A familiar hand touched his back just as Luo Binghe said, “Shizun? Are you well?”

“Catch me.”

“Wha–“ but Shen Qingqiu had passed out before he could even finish the word.

#can't we just skip to the end #bingqiu #Yingying didn't quite make this happen but it will help her plans haha