#sometime i get envious of one of my sibling their parent is so caring and would even do shit together

[dude-iloveu]

parents of parents. uh. parents². fambly

under the cut because i like the drawings but not that much that i wanna put it out there just like that. i just wanna talk about them, mostly additional things that i would dive into less but they're on my mind anyway

1st version designs. agfgsj you can see it's an old drawing from the way i draw noct and ron

current version

-> aeron's family :]

Mom (White-tailed deer) - Zara

Dad (Yellow-winged bat) - Hariz

Zara is the co-founder of a nonprofit organization (nothing specific i've thought about. they provide services and help for struggling ppl, adolescents/young adults with no one to turn to). She started it with a friend, before they moved on to pursue other projects. Hariz is. now pensioned idk what he worked as. was a long time volunteer and contributor(?) and after being vice president(??) basically took the role as one of the directors along with Zara.

Later on they met a young lady who they helped with finding a home, and she would also sometimes do volunteering work with them. She became pretty good friends with the two, and Zara just cares for her a lot because she is "the most genuine and sweetest person she's met". Sometime later the lady had an unexpected pregnancy, tho while she did want the baby she was pretty much struggling to make ends meet. so her two friends have been most supportive for her and really just. made sure to take care of her. unfortunately she did not make it in labour. the couple, not wanting to leave the baby with complications, took it in as their own, the baby is now known as Aeron.

Sister (some type of feline) - To be named

Brother (Elephant) - to be named

they were both taken under care by the parents, the sister when she was young, who basically grew up in the streets, and the brother as a teenager who lost their family and didn't want to get caught up with their relatives' feud.

random - they're a pretty loving family but can be overbearing at times too. they kinda baby aeron alot which aeron tries to avoid. zara is intersex trans and hariz is cis het ally, they always do their best to be empathetic and understand their kids. technically aeron has more older siblings but he rarely if ever meets them. aeron is most involved with their parents' line of work, since he was raised with helping around in charity events and stuff. he would have a younger sibling but i havent thought of that

-> noctis' family

Mom (mix of California leaf nosed bat & brown long-eared bat) - it used to be Arielle but I'm thinking of changing to Cassiope.

Dad (CA leaf nosed bat) - placeholder name was Dell short for delaware (lie). still unsure what to name him.

The parents have some sort of high position in their jobs at different companies. The mom is strict on upholding a perfect family image and is very envious of others' success. The dad is more lenient, still upholds a 'sophisticated' persona but is a cheater. After it was found and fights happened, they separated with the mom taking the kids. she raised the twins to be perfectionists high achievers while neglecting their emotional and mental wellbeing.

some detail - Noctis likes to fold her ears down as a kid, and this would make the mom mad. it is because folding ears meant being vulnerable because lessened hearing ability (not attentive) which makes her look improper. ironic considering that trait/ability comes from her side. like noctis is literally just chillin lmao. punished for chill crimes.

- the dad bought noctis one of those tamagotchi type toys (virtual pet?) which she loves. he also brought them to various places on the weekends before the divorce.

Twin sister - was named Cielle. now maybe would be Cygnus? not sure yet

the beloved model student who excels in alomst anything she does. loves noctis dearly but is often unable to stand up against her mom to defend her sister.

#oc talk #hhhhhhhhhh #i think that is enough for now #mcbats

[lovemesomesurveys]

What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She’s a shift lead at Walgreens.

What about your father? What does he do? He works at a car shop.

How do you like your coffee? With flavored creamer, or half and half with sugar.

If you’re of age, what’s your favourite alcoholic drink? None. I don’t drink anymore. It’s been almost 10 years since my last drink.

Do you smoke? If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger? Nope.

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? I never did any of that before I was of legal age.

Do you have siblings? If not, skip the next few questions. Yes, I have two brothers. 

Are you eldest, in the middle or youngest? I’m the middle kid. 

How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? 10 years between my younger brother and I, 6 years between my older brother and I. 

Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Nah. 

If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? My younger brother works at the HR department at the university he graduated from and my older brother is currently a caregiver for our family friend.

Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Not jealous, but envious. Well, maybe a little jealous initially when my younger brother was born. I was 9 okay lol.

Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my parents and younger brother. 

What do you think about growing up? 10/10 don’t recommend. I want to be a kid again. 

What about having responsibilities? Bleh.

Do you know how to cook? If so, what’s your favourite thing to cook? What about baking? I only cook ramen. I can make the easy bake Pillsbury sugar cookies and cupcakes/cake from the box, ha. 

Do you ever drink tea? Sometimes. I started having peppermint or chamomile tea before bed sometimes for a bit prior to be admitted to the hospital. 

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around? No.

What do you usually order at your favourite restaurant? Garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Give me the fast food, ha. Or takeout from restaurant. I like eating at home. 

Is there an arcade anywhere near where you live? Yes. 

Have you ever played pinball? If so, an actual machine or on a computer? Nope.

What’s your dream vehicle? What about your dream house? I don’t have one.

What is the biggest dream of your life? Get healthier and travel.

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go? England. 

What is a country you’d never ever visit? Hmm.

Are you good at taking care of your finances? I think so. My bills get paid.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? What about your rent? Fortunately, no.

What do you think is the best thing about being an adult? What about the worst? Having a hard time coming up with something good about being an adult, ha. It hasn’t been fun for me for awhile now. I miss my childhood. 

Is there a person in your life, who wastes their life somehow? Me.

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it? I can’t do anything right now.

Do you think life should just hand things to you? Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? No, I definitely don’t think things should just be handed to me. I complained a lot about my situation and didn’t do anything to change it. I knew I had to put in the effort, yet I didn’t. I wish things magically got better, but they didn’t. 

Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I’d like to earn my own money, but I do also have government assistance as someone who is disabled. 

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? If so, what kinds of questions? Yeah, sometimes. I don’t like getting into certain topics and some questions just don’t apply to me.

What type of a survey do you skip altogether? Shuffle surveys. It used to be bolding surveys as well, but I do them sometimes. My favorite kind are ones like this. 

Why, do you think, people write lyrics as the title for a survey? Why not? 

If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? I spend like a few minutes scrolling through my feed and then I’m over it. 

If you have a Twitter, what do you use it for? I rarely go on there anymore, but I sometimes will just to vent or ramble or scroll through for a bit. 

If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? Surveys of course as well as for fandom related stuff. 

If you have an iPhone, why? I like it.

If you have an iPad, why? --

If you have the latest electronic gadgets, did you pay for them yourself? No.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan? Yes. I can’t stand when people litter, like why?? Throw your trash away!

When you walk/ride your bike/drive your car, are you careful? I definitely would be if I rode a bike or could drive. 

What is the rudest thing a person could do or say to you? Have you ever been that rude to someone else? Hmm.

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? I know they’re proud of past achievements and even now I believe they think I’m doing my best and trying, but I personally feel like such a failure and disappointment. I didn’t do anything after graduating with my degree and then my health went to shit and now here I am in the hospital for poor decisions I made. What’s there to be proud of? I’m blessed to have a loving, supportive family who doesn’t make me feel that way. It’s just how I feel and see things. 

Which would you rather be, famous or a “nobody”? Why? I’m a nobody and that’s fine. I don’t want the attention and people following my every move, all up in my business. 

Do you need to have the latest fashion in clothes and accessories? No.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers? --

What kind of hobbies do you have? Would anything in the whole world make you give up any of those hobbies? Surveys, reading, coloring. I really wouldn’t want to give up any of those things, they bring me some joy and entertainment. And distraction.

Have you had/do you have any pets? I’ve always had a doggo. I’ve had a couple hamsters and a little fish tank full of fish as well. 

If you aren’t already, would you ever get married? I really don’t see that ever happening. 

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[nanalikessurveys]

What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She’s a nurse for the elderly.

What about your father? What does he do? I’m not 100% sure how his occupation would be called but he’s an engineer and he works with computers.

How do you like your coffee? With milk.

If you’re of age, what’s your favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t like drinking alcohol usually. But I might drink red wine every once in a a while.

Do you smoke? If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger? No I don’t smoke.

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? I didn’t drink before I turned 18. I did try cigarettes a few times when I was like 16 but my parents didn’t know about it and they still don’t lol.

Do you have siblings? If not, skip the next few questions. I have a sister.

Are you eldest, in the middle or youngest? I'm the youngest.

How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? She’s 5 years older.

Do/did your siblings cause trouble? No, she never did.

If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? She’s on disability pension, she has autism and a mild intellectual disability which makes her unable to work normal jobs. But she is an artist and has sold many of her art pieces actually.

Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Not jealous in a negative way but I’ve been envious of her artistic skills for example.

Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? No, I live alone (with my cats).

What do you think about growing up? Most of the time I miss being a kid tbh.

What about having responsibilities? :(

Do you know how to cook? If so, what’s your favourite thing to cook? What about baking? I like cooking pasta. Also some casseroles every now and then. I bake rarely but I like that too.

Do you ever drink tea? Yeah sometimes. I like Earl Grey and green tea.

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around? No.

What do you usually order at your favourite restaurant? At this local diner, I like their chicken burger with goat cheese. It’s sooo good.

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Proper restaurant if I’m going to eat there. If I’m craving takeout then I’d pick fast food.

Is there an arcade anywhere near where you live? I don’t think so.

Have you ever played pinball? If so, an actual machine or on a computer? Yes, both.

What’s your dream vehicle? What about your dream house? I don’t have a dream vehicle. I don’t think I have a dream house either.

What is the biggest dream of your life? To graduate and have a partner one day.

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go? Iceland.

What is a country you’d never ever visit? Visiting North Korea would freak me out tbh.

Are you good at taking care of your finances? I think so.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? What about your rent? Not that I couldn’t pay them but I have a bad memory and I sometimes forget to pay on time :(

What do you think is the best thing about being an adult? What about the worst?

Worst part is all the responsibilities you have. Best part would be the fact that I can make my own choices and get to live on my own.

Is there a person in your life, who wastes their life somehow? No.

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it? Make a dentist appointment.

Do you think life should just hand things to you? Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? It definitely seems like the best option on my lazy days. But in the end that’s not how it should go. It doesn’t teach you anything, it doesn’t make you grow as a person.

Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I get assistance from the government right now but I can’t wait to make my own money.

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? If so, what kinds of questions? Rarely but if I do, it’s because I just don’t feel like elaborating too much etc.

What type of a survey do you skip altogether? Bolding surveys but I’d like to start taking those too.

Why, do you think, people write lyrics as the title for a survey? Because they want to have a title and maybe have a lyric playing in their head.

If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? I don’t have it.

If you have a Twitter, what do you use it for? I don’t have that either.

If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? Taking surveys. 

If you have an iPhone, why? I don’t have an iPhone.

If you have an iPad, why? Or and iPad.

If you have the latest electronic gadgets, did you pay for them yourself? I don’t think I have the latest gadgets. But I do pay for my stuff myself.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan? Yes and I can’t stand people who casually litter.

When you walk/ride your bike/drive your car, are you careful? I wouldn’t say I’m super careful when I walk since I tend to get lost in my thoughts while walking. If I was driving I would definitely try to be really careful.

What is the rudest thing a person could do or say to you? Have you ever been that rude to someone else? I don’t know what would be the rudest thing. 

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? I hope they are. But honestly I don’t think I’ve done that much. I mean I’m in university right now which is something I’ve never thought I could achieve but I still feel behind in life for some reason.

Which would you rather be, famous or a “nobody”? Why? I’d rather be neither of these but if I absolutely had to choose I’d pick being a nobody because being famous would be too much for me.

Do you need to have the latest fashion in clothes and accessories? No.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers? I don’t have a job now.

What kind of hobbies do you have? Would anything in the whole world make you give up any of those hobbies? Painting, drawing, dancing. I don’t want to give up these hobbies.

Have you had/do you have any pets? I have two cats.

If you aren’t already, would you ever get married? Maybe.

#survey #surveys

[thed4rkhand]

planets through the first house

Planets through the first house

Ready for yet another astrology post? We’ll be covering the results of different planets when placed in the first house of a birth chart. Remember that astrology is super fickle and changes dramatically with sign placement, aspects and conjunctions. So without any further delay, lets get into it! Do reblog and like, it took me a lot of effort to compile my observations! Feel free to leave feedback!

Trigger warning- too many, these are just my observations. Also i didn’t proof read, so spelling mistkes could be there.

for Rahu, look at the saturn part. (north node)

for ketu, look at the mars part. (south node)

Sun in the first house-

When sun is in the first house of a birth chart, the person may be heavily influenced by their father. They may look like their father or have a similar personality. Such people tend to be perfectionists, its their way or the highway. They may have a tendency to gain weight easily, however if its in scorpio then they’ll dramatically shed it and gain it, in a loop. They are extremely magnetic people. They may deal with foreigners on a regular basis, or speak a foreign language. They may deal with the government very often and may work for the government as diplomats. They may obtain their higher education abroad. They can remain quite childlike till much older. They can be very protective of their community, traditions and religion, and aim to spread awareness about it. These people are actually rarely concerned with someone’s exterior, because often times such people have such good intuition and spiritual powers (some are literally called mystics because of this), they can literally see through someone. For this reason, they actually don’t like associating with too many people, despite having a very charming personality. These are the kind of people that keep searching for ‘the one’. People may approach them regarding projects first, and they may work for the government. They may have extremely powerful enemies, but they shall defeat them. They may be closer to their mother’s family and culture. They may have a peculiar accent when talking, and many people will compliment their speech. They may have frizzy and big hair. They’ll have heavy acne in their younger years. They’ll have small squinted eyes, often accompanied by crows feet. They’ll appear much younger, and so will their mother. Their mother might be very short. They hate being indebted and like paying off loans quickly. They’ll have beautiful hands, and they have a habit of growing their nails. Many of them like to sing. Their father could’ve been a teacher or worked in heavy research based fields, maybe even a musician or doctor. Their life may go through rapid ups and down throughout. They may be extremely fond of cattle and horses, and hate flying. They may interject and cut people off in conversations. They will fall for married people or people in relationships, they will be good cooks and feel alienated by their mothers. They may wear glasses early on, and also they’re into fire rituals or fire. (pyromaniacs?). you will critique people and say terrible things you don’t mean when angry. You will have a large forehead or a receding hairline. You’ll have nightmares and premonitions about death and illness. You might be very very fond of gold or golden colours. You will be argumentative.

Moon in the first house-

When moon is in the first house of a birth chart, the person is heavily influenced by their mother. They may resemble their mother or have a similar personality. Such people are extremely moody and are always preoccupied with other’s opinion of them. They may have a tendency to fluctuate between their body weight, and are likely to have body dysmorphia. They have short necks and generally are short in height too. They’re very critical and over-analyze everything and everyone. Sometimes, even unconsciously, they manipulate people to suit their needs and whims. They get side tracked too often and have difficulty focussing on one task at hand, often amounting to laziness in other people’s eyes, even if the native is extremely hardworking in reality. However when in comes to personal care, they tend to do things in a very half-hearted manner. These people are also prone to isolating themselves from others, especially when things get hard. Such  people tend to be famous or popular in friend circles, or at the very least well known. They can be extremely picky people and often can be obsessive in their thoughts. They may follow their mother’s footpath professionally, and may want to pursue fields related to law, beauty/architecture and biology. Their mother’s were very involved in their life. Such people are always on the internet trying to look up astrology posts, tarot, etc. They like knowing whats going to happen and like to be prepared for it. They can be extremely manipulative when they want to be. They may see a lot of prophetic dreams, and their mother or them often have pressure buildup in their ears or can hear random sounds or voices. They enjoy looking at stars and the night sky. They enjoy a strange fascination for water and looking at people’s eyes. They could be into massaging people or have ‘healing hands’, or their mother could.

Venus in the first house-

When Venus is in the first house of a birth chart, the person is heavily influenced by their colleagues, significant others, or their families. They’re extremely swayed by people’s opinions of them, and often because of this are very unsure in their abilities. Big doe-like yes are often seen with this, and an inmate ability to gain beer-blotches on their face. They attract people to them. They may have bad relationships with their families, and their mother could have had a miscarriage just before them. They can be hyper sensitive regarding taste, smell and sound. They may be excellent singers or play musical instruments. They dress up glamorously for parties, but when at home or alone, they’re usually roaming around like they’re homeless. They suffer depression if they’re not looking their best even, heavily into working out and grooming. They may be extremely religious or spiritual and may mediate a lot. They explain concepts very well and can be some of the best teachers around. They usually attract female friends. They love the smell of musk and love digging deep and researching, even stalking. They could be into ancient civilizations and history, photography and art, gardening and plants, fascinated with concepts of violence and death. They sit on their bed and work, they love the sound of fire crackling and fireplaces, they gain when in relationships and love asmr sounds. The most competitive people ever and so very possessive of their own goods, also back and forth with morality (eg. One day spiritual and the next they love material goods, one day vegan and then back to being a non-vegetarian)

Mercury in the first house-

When mercury is in the first house of a birth chart, the person is heavily influenced by what extended family or acquaintances think of them. Such people are also very concerned about their health, and can be hypochondriacs. They may also at all times think that people hate them, without any reason. They could be great speakers or orators or writers. They can have a great imagination, that is extremely vivid and unique, especially as a kid. They may want to pursue careers related to beauty with such a positioning, or even theatre or music. They may have a very unique appearance, and may appear androgynous. For women, they could look like their fathers, and for men, they can look like their mothers. They may be into research and like getting to the bottom of a matter. They may always have this appearance of half-closed eyes, they never open them fully. This gives them this drowsy look. They love making spread-sheets and calculating their expenses. They could have liver or kidney issues. They may get into occult due to their siblings. A lot of transformation comes into their life due to their family and pets. They may want to live abroad. They may have addiction issues to substances like alcohol and drugs. They may have troubles with their father. May cause rifts between your mother and your father too, causes them to have a love-less marriage. They may be called snake-like, dream of snakes and walk with a very purposeful walk, they kind of sway alot. They may be extremely secretive in life. You may have lactose intolerance, and may be envious of other people’s success. You or your parents have a lot of unaccounted wealth. Such people could hear voices in their heads, see prophetic dreams and have fears of the deep water. This could make someone very tall as well. May be fond of children and old people. Either extremely thick eyebrows or no eyebrows. Dimples are very common. Long necks and dark circles, deep sunken eyes. Very cutesy appearance. Skin is discolored and if the position is afflicted, skin diseases are common. Long hands and loves instruments like the piano. You can separately raise your eyebrows and the most, I mean the most, theatrical ones.

Mars in the first house-

When mars is in the first house of a birth chart, they’re very conscious of their own opinion, or are always thinking that someone may be watching them, like paranormally. Also, they’re largely confident in themselves, for they don’t really pay that much attention to others. In fact they’ll go out of their way to rebel. They could have suffered through acne, heat boils and other skin diseases. They have frizzy or curly hair, and very reddish complexions. These are the people who blush so easily and prominently. You may have skin scarring with this, as simple as acne marks and freckles, to larger scars and burns. So expressive, the type of people who can separately raise their eyebrows. They tend to be the type who change their appearance so very often, from weight fluctuations, to piercings, to hair colors, wardrobe rehauls, and all. They can have an element of looking foreign or different. They may have huge eyes and they’re almost protruding or absolutely sunken, massive cheekbones or hallowed out cheeks. They may have this mysterious look to their eyes, and this always sad or lost look. Eyes are very red, and often they have issues like sinus or nose is always blocked or watering. They may have hidden wealth, also the type of people to have the type of personality where you would never suspect they’re into occult. They are very close or have some karmic relationship (could be negative) with their father’s brothers. They also always think about escaping, largely to forests and retreating there for a bit. Very into finding cures and deep research. Also love dears, might worship shiva and are addicted to coffee. Also fasination with the moon. People might attract stalkers with this. Hoarders and so critical everything and everyone, especially hoarders of photos. Photographs memory and love for photography and art. Love for music and music instruments, and may own one and keep it in their room. Fidget by tapping pens or feet, have to make a sound. Can be argumentative and terrible tempers. They love garlic and onion and root vegetable stuff honestly. Also weird affinity for horses and speed. Also they love seats with hand-rests, the comfy sink into ones. They’re the types who go for the head of the table seat. Also we’re you born via a c-section and not natural birth? Something is off about your birth, could be the only child.

Saturn in the first house-

When Saturn is in the first house of a birth chart, it makes people extremely unconventional and almost a social outcaste. They can sometimes have these half shut lazy eyes, where their eyelid is heavy and big, and they always appear to be drowsy. They may be alarmingly fond of animals, especially large wild animals. Also they’re absolute perfectionists, they just get up and destroy the things they created and don’t like. Also rain or thunder ASMR. They’re also neat freaks, they like their stuff kept a particular way and don’t go around cleaning their room or touching stuff. They are usually influenced by their mother and are quite close to them, unless you’re born in the evening or night time, then you’re absolutely like your father, resemble him and act like him. They may hear a lot of sounds very regularly, in their head. Could be schizophrenic or just hear loud thumping sounds. Possible love having musically instruments in their house and could play one, or they know a lot of musicians. They may be the youngest in their peer groups or colleagues, sometimes oldest. They do have old-soul personalities though. They love doing volunteer work at shelters and looking out for the underprivileged. Their upbringing could have been strict. They make friends from around the world, you’ll actually notice that they might have a lot of middle-eastern friends or be intrigued by their culture. They could have problems with their backs and legs. Further, they may be very no-nonsense strict teacher kind of person. They can also alternatively be the life of the party person, or both really. They could either be extremely happy and jumpy in public and really broody in private, or the other way around. They work so hard yet rarely get results. They suffer through a lot of ups and downs in life. Usually this gives an innate ability to lose weight and appear rather slender, also tall. This usually gives some kind of unique features to the face, large eyebrows, pointy cheekbones, small mouths, exaggerated features and this kind of drugged up look in their eyes. For women, this gives a curvy look to the body, with great breasts (in relation to proportions). People love cheese here, also they are great with children. They get blamed for cheating or other issues when they haven’t done it. You go against dogmatic thinking. You may attract men and women. Great looking feet and omg the obsession with shoes? Stop it already, you don’t need more. Also stop looking at the watch and making schedules, stop being obsessed with time, or really stop procrastinating.

Jupiter in the first house-

When Jupiter is in the first house of a chart, one is usually undeniably lucky in life. People with this placement tend to be tall, and if not then they have a big bone structure. They will have beautiful feet. They gain weight easily. They are heavily influenced by their fathers and spouses. They like scholarly debates and discussions and dislike arguments. They are fond of foreign cultures and the other dimensions, they believe in religious interventions and god. They can be a bit conservative in nature. They were either born in a comfortably rich household or will have it later. They or their parents own more than one property. Their mother has bad health, and could’ve fallen sick after giving birth to them or never had children after them. Their mother is spiritual. They could obtain higher education abroad. They could be into fields of liberal arts, especially law and academics (like wanting to become professors), they could alternatively also be musically inclined. They will have an enchanting speech and aura, and people will commend their oration. They can be into writing. They could enjoy traveling a lot. They keep looking for love, it is one of their priorities even from a young age. They feel connected to spirits or gods, and often feel that there is something off or unique about them. They may have clairvoyant abilities and may practice activities of the occult or astrology. They usually have on and off relationships in life. You chase people you like. You need intellectual compatibility in a relationship. Very choosy about clothes, friends, vacations and all. Don’t wake them up from sleep, they love sleeping, or alternatively never get enough sleep. You do things smartly, not with hardwork. You may be interested in real-estate. They get into spirituality very young, around 16 when Jupiter matures. They pretend to be more knowledgable than they are in certain areas, might fib. They’re proud of their occult knowledge. Their is a polarity in their personality that everyone sees and what their close friends see. Maybe they’re extroverted outside and very introverted inside. Or maybe they have family issues and never speak about it. Could be anything. Also a polarity in wanting material gains like status, success and money, and wanting liberation and wanting to become spiritual. They keep going back and forth. Also they keep changing their opinions on things. Notice they have good hands too. Also acne and scarring. Terrible tempers, and can be asexual or aromatic, or just don’t like to show that side to themselves. The letter ’t’ may be relevant to them, either in their name, their family, or their spouse. Don’t invoke spirits of the dead please, don’t keep trying to shift realities either, chill. They keep their nails long. People usually don’t know that a native is into occult, as they have a very different outside persona.

#vedic astrology #vedic tradition #astrology #astrology observations #birth chart #planets #astrology stuff

[robininthelabyrinth]

My third and final prompt I promise: Wen Zhuliu. WEN ZHULIU. What if instead of being Wen Chao's babysitter/bodyguard he was a different young master's? Picturing him heaving a long suffering sigh at Huisang or Zixuan's antics is hilarious to me. I just want to see all the different interactions with the Core Melting Hand!

I apologize in advance for writing a fic that technically fulfils your prompt but also is...not quite about what you asked for

That Bitter Draught (ao3) 

It wasn’t that Su She was entirely unaware of what he was like.

He was a man almost entirely consumed by bitterness and envy, his eyes so firmly fixed on what his neighbors had that he couldn’t appreciate the blessings in his own life. He was selfish and ungrateful, and hated the ones he admired the most, hated all of the ones who were better off than him, even the ones who pretended to be fair and equitable about it.

Especially those.

He’d been born to an ordinary family, not cultivators at all – a feeder family doing agriculture for the sake of the great Lan sect, who never much thought nor cared about where their vegetables came from. He waded knee-deep through the muck and the mire for the first six years of his life before some passing Lan cultivator had discovered he had a bit of potential, and next thing he knew his parents had handed him off to be someone’s servant, taking him away from everyone he’d ever known – from his parents and his animals and his siblings and his brother – and he was supposed to be grateful for it.

There wasn’t anything wrong with being a servant, Su She supposed. It was a livelihood like anyone else’s, and maybe he wouldn’t be so bitter about it if he’d stayed that way, the way he was supposed to, as a servant with just enough skill at cultivating to not disturb the tranquil and thoughtful atmosphere of the Cloud Recesses as he rushed around doing all the things that were necessary.

(The Cloud Recesses – so pretty and clean and pure, except there was muck here, too, and no amount of pretending by the sect disciples that their shit didn’t stink the way everyone else’s did would change that.)

Maybe Su She would have been fine with being a servant, though he suspected he wouldn’t – in the darkness of the middle of the night he sometimes thought that his ability to be content had been taken away when he had, that the black gaping hole in his heart that had once held his family would always be a yawning pit that always wanted more than he had, forever incapable of getting the one thing that would fill it up again – but he didn’t stay that way.

No, see, Su She was good at cultivating. He was really good - not quite a genius, but his hard work paid off and he got better and better at what he was doing even though they barely gave him any time to do it in.

After all, someone had to make sure that everything was ready for the sect disciples when they woke up at the start of the mao hour, and that meant he had to be hard at work by yin, and of course the fact that they went to sleep at the end of the xu hour only meant that his work stretched well into hai, but despite all the disadvantages they loaded him down with he cultivated like a madman at every free hour, squeezing it in between work and even more degrading work. He got better and better and better, and eventually, finally, someone noticed him again.

This time they made him a disciple.

They expected him to be grateful for that, too. As if he hadn’t bought the chance with his own sweat and tears and blood, and all to be one of the blessed ones, one of the lucky ones, one of the ones who could – if they were meritorious enough – get a pass to leave the sect to go where they liked.

(Moling was too far to reach by foot, not even for the New Year, and he didn’t make enough money to buy a horse. But once he had a sword, gifted to him from the sect, once he could fly – once he was old enough – once he was trusted enough –)

Being a disciple meant that he woke up at mao hour and went to sleep at xu, that his chamber-pot disappeared in the morning as if by magic, that his food was brought to his table instead of being stuffed into his mouth in the crowded staff room right off the kitchen in the brief reprieves he had between duties…all things he had to adjust to, things that were strange and felt almost unnatural.

Now that he was a disciple, he had all the same rights as all the others, the ones who had been born to it instead of raised up from a lower level for it.

It was supposed to mean that they were all equal, all Lan disciples the same, except that all the arrogant young masters looked down their noses at the former servant who’d stepped above his station. They ridiculed him for it: for being ambitious, for being envious, for thinking too highly of himself, for not knowing the things they’d had a chance to learn and he hadn’t, for smelling like the shit no matter how clean he kept his clothing or how much he washed.

Equal – hah!

The worst, though…the worst was the Twin Jades.

Lan Xichen was powerful, yet kind and generous to the point of selflessness, a proper gentleman; Lan Wangji, equally gifted, always did the right thing, no matter the circumstances, his expression solemn and serious, his reputation famous for his righteousness.

Su She hated them. He wanted to be them, wanted to be Lan Wangji so bad it made his blood boil, but he also hated them – hated him.

The Twin Jades. They didn’t deserve to be called that, not with the three year age difference between them and at least four points of difference on their face, if you were looking; not when Su She’s brother had been born so soon before him that he’d been born clutching his ankle as they left the womb together. Not when the only difference, the only difference, between them was that fucking Lan cultivator’s comment that he only had enough room in his cart to take one of them with him.

A servant, even with cultivation potential, was worth less than a bag of bok choy meant to serve as a side dish on a trueborn Lan disciple’s plate, and so his brother was stuck in the muck back at home while Su She fought his way through the muck that was the Lan sect’s glorious principles and discipline.

He didn’t even know for sure if his brother was still alive.

Oh, Su She had the sect’s permission to write them letters, but what would it help? No one in his village could read, he certainly hadn’t been able to before he’d been forcefully taught so that Lan sect elders could pass him notes instead of condescending enough to speak to him, and the cost of paying a scholar to read it to them would be a waste of the money he faithfully sent them out of his wages every month.

So yes, Su She was bitter. Su She hated. Su She envied, and envied Lan Wangji most of all. After all, he was handsome, but not as handsome; he was talented, but not as talented; he was smart, but not as smart; he was powerful, but not as powerful; he was a twin, but no one cared about him and his brother the way they cared about Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen – Lan Wangji, who got to have his older brother with him any time he liked, but spent the entire time standing there stone-faced and driving him away.

And, of course, Lan Wangji also had – him.

Yu Zhuliu was the sort of guest disciple that was really a servant and not a proper Lan disciple, although his cultivation was high enough to rank alongside some of the shining stars of the Lan sect – even more so than most, given his cultivation of the unique ability that had made him renowned throughout the cultivation world as the Core Melting Hand. It was only that he had been too old, at the time the Lan sect had rescued him from some misfortune that Su She had never heard specified, to learn their ways properly, and for some reason the elders resisted allowing him into the sect properly.  

Perhaps it was because he was what was termed an ‘inconvenient child’ of Meishan Yu, the bastard child of a daughter of the clan; a liability that could neither be killed nor kept.

Perhaps it was because his ability was truly too terrifying, attacking as it did the golden core that all cultivators strove so hard and so long to form.

Or perhaps it was simply that he made a very convenient servant.

Yu Zhuliu was, to put a point on it, Lan Wangji’s servant, acting as both bodyguard and attendant.

He was a deputy to help Lan Wangji with whatever he needed, big or small. The Lan sect prided itself on discipline and humility, but only to a certain extent – only to the extent it looked good or was pure – and of course they were desperate to keep their precious young jade safe from the growing predations of Qishan Wen; it was not so strange that they assigned him a bodyguard, and of course if he was already doing that he might as well do the rest.

After all, who could expect a proper young gentleman to care for himself?

Su She hadn’t taken much notice of Yu Zhuliu at first, other than a brief stabbing feeling of pity when he heard of the man’s circumstances. But then one day he’d noticed him rolling his eyes as Lan Wangji stiffly recited the rules in advance of yet another punishment he was inflicting over something minor – no one loved the rules as much as Lan Wangji did. There was a reason nobody talked to him, perfect disciple that he was, and of course unlike the lowly Su She who, despite himself, longed for the company and recognition of his peers, Lan Wangji rose above it all, was above it all. And while no one could claim that his distribution of punishments wasn’t as fair and equitable as might be asked, it was evident to Su She that he only did it that way because it was the subject of yet another rule.

But no one ever seem to notice or care, no one ever thought it as stupid as Su She did, right up until that moment when he’d seen Yu Zhuliu making a long-suffering face like that where Lan Wangji couldn’t see, and Su She couldn’t help but smile a little, heart suddenly warm with a feeling of fellowship.

Yu Zhuliu had seen him smiling, caught his eyes, and rolled his eyes again, this time more pointedly – a gesture aimed just at him, a shared joke – and that was it; Su She was lost.

Su She was in Lan Wangji’s age group, even if they weren’t close (no one was close to Lan Wangji), so it wasn’t hard to find time to go over and talk to Yu Zhuliu.

The conversations were mostly one-sided to start with, which Su She had expected. Yu Zhuliu was a reserved man, and of course there was always that master-servant divide lying between them like a gulf. Still, Su She had been a servant once, which Yu Zhuliu knew – everyone knew – and in time Su She got him to ease up a little, talk back, commiserate.

Su She told him about his family, the little he remembered of them after all these years; in return, Yu Zhuliu unbent enough to tell him a little about his own background: the mother that hated him as the living sign of her disgrace, the constant accusations that he didn’t deserve to bear the Yu surname.

“Have you ever considered changing it?” Su She asked, helping him fold Lan Wangji’s laundry. It wasn’t something he’d ever have permitted himself to do under other circumstances, knowing how important it was to distance himself from all things relating to servants, but he was willing to make some compromises if it meant getting to spend a little more time with Yu Zhuliu. “Obviously if you want to keep it, it’s yours; they can’t deprive you of your birthright like that. But it doesn’t seem like you particularly want it.”

Yu Zhuliu was quiet for a long moment. “Once,” he said, his eyes distant. “I considered it once, before I joined the Lan sect. I wasn’t yet sure who had been the one to – well. Suffice it to say that I was seriously considering an offer I had received to join a different sect, and they offered to allow me to adopt the main clan’s surname as my own if I performed well.”

Su She shuddered in automatic revulsion at the thought.

Yu Zhuliu saw it, of course, and chuckled. “It would have been a great honor,” he reminded him. “Especially for someone like me – to be able to shed my old name would have been enough, but to replace it with a name that was even more powerful..?”

“Gratifying,” Su She agreed, a little begrudgingly. The idea of giving away his identity like that, giving in to the arrogant young masters’ lies that they were better than him just because they had a fancier surname, revolted him, but he could, he supposed, see a little of the spiteful appeal of it.  “Like – stamping on their faces with it, showing them what they’ve lost.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you take that offer, then?” They both knew the Lan sect would never in a million years extend a similar offer, even though there were plenty of branch families surnamed Lan and another one more or less wouldn’t much matter. It wasn’t proper, though, and no one cared more about propriety than the Lan sect. “With the clan surname, they would have had to make you a proper disciple.”

Su She would never agree to such an offer himself. He might want, in the darkest parts of his heart, to be Lan Wangjii, to be something better than he was, might occasionally daydream of what his life might have been life if they’d been born swapped in place, but he didn’t – he wouldn’t sell his surname for it.

(He wouldn’t sell his brother for it, even if all he had of his brother was a surname and some swiftly fading memories.)

But Yu Zhuliu hated his surname and all it represented. He wasn’t like Su She, always thinking of the past and the might-have-beens and growing fat on all his resentment and grievances; if Yu Zhuliu could shed his skin like a cicada, emerge somewhere else a brand-new person, he would do it in a heartbeat.

“It was the Lan sect that saved me,” he said simply. “And so I owed it to them to come here, no matter what the Wen sect offered me.”

The Wen sect. Wow. That was sure some offer to turn down; they commanded the loyalty of over a third of the smaller sects, maybe even close to half, and Yu Zhuliu could have gotten their surname.

Of course, the Wen sect offered that out much more readily than other sects did, but still.

On the other hand, if Yu Zhuliu had accepted, if he’d become Wen Zhuliu, then Su She would never have had the chance to meet him, or would have only met him under bad circumstances.

Maybe he wouldn’t have liked Wen Zhuliu that much at all.

“Your loyalty is admirable,” he finally said, after wracking his brain for something appropriately neutral to say.

That got him another chuckle. “Did you know that lies make you look like you’ve tasted something sour?”

“I,” Su She said with dignity, “am a great liar. You just haven’t noticed it yet.”

Yu Zhuliu was silent for a moment, maybe reviewing things he knew about Su She. “I suppose you probably are,” he said thoughtfully. “Which means it’s the Lan sect that you don’t like.”

Su She shrugged. “I don’t think I’d like any sect,” he confessed, even though he knew he shouldn’t.

Yu Zhuliu’s overwhelming trait was his loyalty, after all – he’d sell Su She out in a heartbeat if he thought the Lan sect deemed it necessary. Su She was mostly just counting on being so pointless and insignificant that Yu Zhuliu wouldn’t think it was worth telling anyone about him.

It probably wasn’t, either. Why would the Lan sect care about someone like Su She one way or another? He wasn’t anything to them, not really; even as a disciple, his only purpose was to act as an adornment, to bring honor and glory that would reflect upwards onto the great clan surnamed Lan.

“Why?” Yu Zhuliu asked. He sounded honestly curious – honestly interested, interested in Su She for something other than being an extra body in a formation or another cannon fodder to throw to the dogs when a night-hunt went badly.

Su She wanted to tell him everything.

But Yu Zhuliu was loyal, always loyal, and Su She may not be as smart as Lan Wangji but he wasn’t stupid.

“They’re all the same in the end, full of arrogant young masters,” he said breezily. “I mean, did you see the group of disasters at Teacher Lan’s lectures?”

Perhaps that was a harsh assessment, but he’d humiliated himself in front of them all on that night-hunt that went wrong against the Waterborne Abyss, with his still-shaky control over his sword, trying as always to live up to Lan Wangji’s example the way they kept always telling him he should and then being looked down upon as an idiot for even trying – why would he do something so stupid obviously he can never match Lan Wangji always aiming above his station and thinks too highly of himself still a servant after all obviously he’ll never be good enough – and the mere thought of them tasted like bile and hatred in his mouth.

“The head disciple from the Jiang sect seemed fairly smart,” Yu Zhuliu said, and Su She scoffed.

“He’s very smart, very smart indeed,” he said scathingly. “So smart that he’s forgotten who he is and where he came from. Eventually someone’s going to remember that he’s a servant’s son, not a proper young master at all, and he’ll pay for it in blood and tears – if he’s lucky.”

“Do you think so?”

“The Jiang heir has an inferiority complex as deep as the ocean –” Su She knew what one looked like; after all, he saw one every day in the mirror. “– and eventually the time will come when he has to be sect leader in his father’s place. On that day, all those pretty words about how wonderful Wei Wuxian is, how smart, how talented, what a credit to his sect, they’ll all fall onto Jiang Wanyin’s ears like a lash on his back. And when the time comes that he has to sacrifice something, well, we’ll see how much being smart helps Wei Wuxian then.”

“An interesting perspective,” Yu Zhuliu remarked.

“An accurate one,” Su She retorted. “He was raised as a proper young master, not a servant, and so he won’t even know to see the danger when it comes. None of them would.”

“No, I suppose not. It’s always the things you don’t know you don’t know that can harm you the most.” Yu Zhuliu straightened up – the laundry was done; they’d finished it ages ago. “We will have to continue this discussion another time, Su-gongzi –”

“Su She, please. Su Minshan, if you must.”

“Su Minshan, then. I look forward to speaking with you again.”

When Yu Zhuliu let, Su She hugged himself in glee, allowing himself a moment of triumph at a successful conversation with the person he liked, then went to wash himself clean again. He wasn’t dirty, and it was the middle of the day, but he wanted to make sure no one could smell the bleaching herbs they put in the laundry on him. He didn’t want to risk any more mockery, and anyway, it had gotten to be a habit.

As he went to the baths, he saw Lan Wangji standing on a nearby pathway, looking up at the sky as if deep in thought. He must be on his rounds again, even though it wasn’t his day for it, or even the right time; he’d taken to haunting the routine work of it as if it were the only thing keeping him grounded.

Whatever. It wasn’t Su She’s business.

Except maybe it was, because Lan Wangji kept – looking at him, over the next few days. Which was weird, because Lan Wangji never looked at anybody, his nose firmly stuck up in the sky where mortals dared not tread, and it was starting to make Su She nervous.

Surely Lan Wangji couldn’t tell – about him. He’d never been able to before, why would he start now?

And yet…what if he could?

What if Lan Wangji had figured him out? Figured out Su She’s rebellious heart, how he wasn’t grateful at all not matter nice a face he put on, how he hated the stupid Lan sect rules and the stupid Lan sect disciples and the stupid Lan sect arrogance, how he secretly schemed to learn everything he could and transcribe everything he couldn’t memorize so that he could take it back home to Moling one day and show his brother everything he’d learned, how he despised them all for their arrogance –

“Will you be attending the archery competition?” Lan Wangji asked stiffly. He did everything stiffy, like he was actually a statute carved out of jade and only just pretending to be human. “At the Nightless City?”

“Naturally,” Su She said, not bothering to look up from the verses he was copying. Not the most polite, not as kiss-ass as he ought to be when faced with the glory that was the second jade of the Lan sect, but he’d found that as long as he kept his tone as formal and humble as possible, he could get away with a little. “It may be nothing like yours, Lan-er-gongzi, but I do have some skill at it, you know.”

Not that most people thought so. They would be travelling to Qishan in three groups, for easier and more secure travel – one for the adults, one led by the Twin Jades to represent the shining hope of their sect, and the last of everyone else making up the numbers. He was in the last group, of course, even though his talent for musical cultivation was one of the strongest in the junior generation and his swordplay good enough to only lose to Lan Wangji three times out of every five – better results than a good half of the group of well-born Lan clansman being sent out as the representatives of their sect.

Was he bitter about it? Yes.

Lan Wangji hesitated for a long moment, and even shifted from one leg to the other – a sign of nervousness in most people, maybe. In Lan Wangji? Who even knew.

After a while, he said, “My group has an extra place,” sounding almost like it was an offer, and the entire thing was so bizarre that Su She immediately became suspicious.  

“What do you want?” he asked.

Lan Wangji blinked at him.

“He who is unaccountably solicitous is hiding bad intentions, Lan-er-gongzi,” Su She clarified, glaring up at him and unable to keep his mouth from twisting as though he’d bitten something sour. He knew he often looked like that, and it made the female cultivators downrate his handsomeness, but he’d been the subject of too many jokes to stop himself from being so bitterly defensive. “You don’t know me, you don’t like me, and you don’t go out of your way to offer a better place to anyone, even if there’s no official rule against it. So what is it you want?”

Lan Wangji shook his head.

“If you don’t want anything, why offer?” Su She sneered. It would be just like Lan Wangji to have decided to recognize a promising disciple that deserve a chance to shine – he was perfect like that, after all, always thinking of others, always a true gentleman. Well, Su She had endured a lifetime of being seen as promising by gentlemen, being recognized as a talent without once being thought of as a person, having to humiliate himself in front of them like a dancing monkey and worst of all of having to be grateful to them for allowing him to do it, and he was sick and tired of swallowing down that bitter draught.

He didn’t need the better spot, not this time – he would be going one way or the other – and he wasn’t willing to give Lan Wangji of all people the satisfaction of doing him a favor he didn’t even want.

Lan Wangji shifted from one side to the other again, waiting a long time before he spoke again. Maybe it was nervousness.

“Yu Zhuliu is in my party,” he finally said.

At first Su She didn’t understand the point Lan Wangji was making, terse and oblique as the other man habitually was, and then he understood it far too well.

He saw red.

“What business is that of yours?” he shouted, dropping his brush and jumping to his feet, forgetting all of his good intentions to try to keep his head down and his tone at least plausibly polite. “So what if I spend some time with him when he’s free? Not every waking hour of his is yours!”

Lan Wangji’s eyes darted from side to side. “No,” he said. “I didn’t mean –”

“You didn’t mean what?!”

“You like him.” A meaningful pause. “Very much.”

“Yes, I do,” Su She said, his cheeks flushed red. “So what? So I cut my sleeve sometimes, big deal. It’s not against any of your stupid rules – every attempt to introduce such a restriction formally has been rejected, I checked. This isn’t something you can punish me for!”

He could, of course. No one would question Lan Wangji issuing yet another punishment – he could say it was due to Su She’s noise, no shouting in the Cloud Recesses – and of course not every type of punishment was the sort that got meted out in the Punishment Hall. There were other types, more insidious – isolation, ostracization, missing out on opportunities for advancement, resources…even merely sentencing him to write lines could be used to deny him his coveted spot at the Nightless City.

Lan Wangji wouldn’t do that, though.

Somehow that just made Su She angrier. Who told Lan Wangji to be so fucking perfect?

“You can add it to your list of achievements,” he adds bitterly. “Everyone knows you’re better than me - better at manners, better at cultivation, better at everything, and now better in this way, too, because I’m a cutsleeve and you’re not –”

Lan Wangji flinched.

Lan Wangji flinched.

Su She’s jaw dropped in shock. “You are?”

Lan Wangji’s features weren’t exactly easy to ready for anyone except Lan Xichen, but at the moment it was plain enough that even Su She could figure out that he was miserable.

“For who?!” A terrible thought slipped into his mind. “It had better not be Yu Zhuliu!”

“No!” Lan Wangji said hastily. “No – no. Not at all.”

“Good,” Su She said fiercely. “Because he’s mine. Or, well, not mine, we haven’t agreed on anything, I haven’t even said anything, but I’m trying and – well, it doesn’t matter. You know what I mean.”

He wasn’t actually sure Lan Wangji did. He wasn’t sure he knew what he meant.

But Lan Wangji nodded, as if his confused rambling had been as clear as a Lan sect rule.

“I thought you might like to spend more time with him,” he said, and – oh. His offer. The Nightless City.

“…I would,” Su She said begrudgingly. “Thanks.”

For Yu Zhuliu, he’d even put up Lan Wangji’s charity.

“Who is it for you, anyway?” he asked, unable to resist and wanting to take advantage of this strange intimacy, this momentary breach of etiquette undoubtedly never to be repeated, but Lan Wangji shook his head, refusing to share. “Fine. Have it your way.”

It wasn’t that he cared, anyway.

Not about Lan Wangji’s mysterious lover, and not about Lan Wangji himself – this wasn’t a charming little flaw that made the whole seem more relatable, wasn’t something that generated fellow feeling, the way Yu Zhuliu’s gentle mockery had. So what if both of them were secretly cutsleeves in a sect that most assuredly did not approve of such things? That didn’t mean anything. It didn’t give them anything in common. They still weren’t the same, not at all, not with Lan Wangji was nobly bearing the burden of it while Su She had given in to temptation almost at once…

No, this was just more of the same.

More of Lan Wangji being, despite all of Su She’s efforts to the contrary, Su She’s idol, his ideal. The person who he hated most because he envied him the most, the person who made him hate himself as being nothing but the lesser copy, the person he despised for making him sometimes feel as if maybe Lan Wangji’s better birth really did entitle him to be better.

So no. He didn’t care.

(It wasn’t that Lan Wangji had seen him, recognized him as something the same. As a person, worthy of recognition, even if not of respect. It wasn’t.)

Maybe he cared a little bit.

He must have cared, or else he would have just run away when the Wen sect descended on the Lan sect with flame and sword instead of being a stupid idiot and going to look for him.

(He told himself it was because Yu Zhuliu would undoubtedly be wherever Lan Wangji was, and it was a pretty decent lie, except that he went to the Library Pavilion and Yu Zhuliu wasn’t there. So he told himself that Yu Zhuliu would have wanted him to protect Lan Wangji, and that lie worked better.)

Of course, once he got there, the stupid noble gentlemanly fucker wouldn’t even listen to him and run.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the important one?” Su She bellowed. This was clearly not the time for manners, and anyway Lan Wangji had already seen beneath his mask once; another time wouldn’t hurt. “Yu Zhuliu’s out there fighting to keep you alive and you’re wasting all his efforts, you’re just standing here, waiting for them to come get you –”

“It is necessary,” Lan Wangji said, solemn as ever. “Someone must keep their attention here, instead of following my brother.”

“Oh fuck you,” Su She said, and took out his sword. Lan Wangji just had to play the fucking brother card, didn’t he?

Yu Zhuliu would want me to do this, he told himself as he tried to fight. He was pretty decent, but he was just a disciple, not a soldier, and as a Lan sect disciple he’d never killed anything before. After a while, he ended up shouting for Lan Wangji to throw him his guqin – the one Su She favored was rented from the sect, lacking as he did the money to purchase her in full, and so he didn’t have it with him – and he attacked with that instead for a while, being better at music than he was at the sword.

The lash of his music was less powerful than Lan Wangji’s single-note waves of power, but Su She was also sneakier about it, and a few unexpected distractions during a battle were much more helpful to Lan Wangji’s defense than any amount of getting himself killed waving a sword around would have.

In the end, unsurprisingly, they were defeated. Su She ended up surrendering in fairly dramatic manner, knowing that the Wen sect might preserve Lan Wangji’s life as a useful hostage but that they couldn’t give a damn about his own and, as always, humiliation was the path to survival; he bet Lan Wangji was already judging him for it, for his weakness, for how pathetic he was when he was sniveling at Wen Xu’s feet as they beat him black and blue to make a point to Lan Wangji, but he didn’t care because he bowed his head and lived while the disciple next to him that didn’t died.

Lan Wangji didn’t bow his head either, but they just broke his leg before throwing them both in a carriage headed to the Nightless City.

The worst of it was, he didn’t even have Yu Zhuliu around to comfort him.

“I ordered him to go with my brother,” Lan Wangji said in belated explanation. “To protect him.”

“You could have said,” Su She said, curled up in the corner of the carriage and feeling sick to his stomach. He should have just run away. He could be in Moling right now if he’d just run away, and who would have known? Of course, then he would have to have left behind all the things he’d prepared, and Yu Zhuliu, too… “Maybe I’d rather have been on that team. Why’d he run, anyway? I bet he had a great reason.”

“He took the key books of our sect –”

Su She rolled his eyes. Of course there was a good nice selfless noble reason for Lan Xichen having fled, leaving his younger brother behind as a sacrifice to cover his tracks – proper young masters never did anything without one of those. It was like they thought that admitting that they were afraid for their lives would be worse than actually dying.

“He took what he could,” Lan Wangji said, his eyes cast down. He wasn’t really talking to Su She. “But so much was still lost.”

Su She thought about all the copies of the books he’d been making, all the knowledge he’d been slowly siphoning away over the course of years, and how they were hidden far away from the main buildings of the Lan sect. He’d probably have more than they did, when this was all said and done, assuming he survived. Wouldn’t that just drive them all up the wall? All those stiff smug elders who thought they were better than him would have to come and beg him to give them the books –

Lan Wangji would, too. Those books were probably his only friends, just as they were Su She’s.

“…maybe not all lost,” he said begrudgingly, and curled up tighter, cursing himself as an idiot.

He might be feeling all warm and fuzzy towards Lan Wangji over something as stupid as a single moment of shared misery, but just because he had feelings about it didn’t mean Lan Wangji did. More than likely, when it came down to it, Lan Wangji would put aside all his noble manners and sell Su She out in a heartbeat, and probably not even count it as a betrayal. After all, in the end, Su She was still just a servant that had temporarily made good, still just cannon fodder, meant to be used and sacrificed for the sake of his better-born master.

At least Lan Wangji had probably given up on expecting him to be grateful about it, given the despicable personality he’d already seen Su She display.

It irritated him how much that mattered.

“There’s always copies, after all,” he added. “And before you say anything, I know it’s not the same as having the original, but it’s worth something, isn’t it?”

He was worth something, even if he was only Lan Wangji’s copy.

“That’s true,” Lan Wangji said. He was quiet for a long while after that, long enough that Su She started seriously considering going to sleep because unconsciousness was preferable to worrying about what was going to happen to them once they got to the Nightless City, and then he said, “You are unhappy.”

Su She turned to goggle at him. “Of course I’m unhappy! The Cloud Recesses was lit on fire, we’re prisoners, we’re probably going to die painfully –”

“Not now. Before.” A pause. “With the sect.”

Su She shut his mouth and glared suspiciously.

“I won’t say anything,” Lan Wangji promised. “I only want to know.”

Su She shook his head stubbornly. “You won’t understand,” he said, a little helplessly, when Lan Wangji continued to look at him, wanting an explanation. “It’s not – something you would understand. You’ve always had everything, all your life.”

Lan Wangji frowned a little, clearly thinking it over, clearly taking it seriously, and for a moment there Su She kind of hated Yu Zhuliu for making him actually like Lan Wangji a little bit. “Not – everything,” he finally said. “My family…”

He trailed off, probably thinking about where they were now. A father locked away in seclusion was different from one on the verge of death; a missing brother, an injured uncle…

Su She huffed and turned his head away, refusing to feel sympathetic. “At least you had them,” he said bitterly. “I haven’t seen my family since they sold me to your sect, and at this point I’m too scared to go visit them.”

“…the Lan sect does not keep slaves.”

“No, of course not,” Su She said. “You just offer people more money than they’ve ever seen in their lives if they’ll hand over their six-year-old son to be properly trained as a servant, because it’s better to get them while they’re young – teach them to be quiet and inobtrusive and grateful for how much better it is to spend their life cleaning up the shit that sticks to your boots. And the worst part is, you are grateful for it, no matter how bad it is, no matter how much you miss your home or your family or your brother, because the buyer could have picked him instead of you and then you’d be the one stuck on some farm somewhere doing nothing with your life, just waiting to see if he’ll come back one day.”

The difference with Su She was that he’d figured out pretty quick that going back wasn’t enough.

When he’d realized how important it was to cultivate a golden core at a young age, he’d saved up every bit of money he could on top of what he sent his family every month, volunteered for every job that paid and even bit his tongue and took out extravagant loans from the sect that he would be paying off for years to come, and he’d hired a rogue cultivator to go teach his brother the basics of cultivation.

He hoped that was enough to make up for all the years he’d been gone, even though he doubted it; he wouldn’t think it was enough, himself, and surely his brother was like him. He was still too young to go outside the sect by himself – he would have to apply for a token, and agree to take someone with him, and he didn’t want to take anyone with him except maybe Yu Zhuliu, who wasn’t an option.

He didn’t want anyone to know if his return home went as badly as he feared it would. If his brother turned out to be as bitter as he was, and turned that bitterness against him –

“You have a brother?” Lan Wangji asked, because of course he’d noticed the important part.

“A twin,” Su She whispered, and turned his face away.

They did not speak again until the Nightless City, and even then it was limited to necessary things, neither of them wanting to risk the fury of their Wen sect guards. After a while, it was announced that the Wen sect would be holding a camp for all young masters, meant to indoctrinate them into righteous conduct, and that they would be attending whether they wanted to or not. They had probably assumed that Su She was well-born because of the fine clothing and fancy hairpiece he wore, and never knew that they were loaned to him by a sect that liked to surround itself with pretty things even if it had to pay for the clothing itself, and Su She had never been happier to be counted among his supposed peers.

Still, when the indoctrination camp began, and Wen Chao – accompanied by three bodyguards at all times, because he was even more of an arrogant snot than even Su She had previously imagined an arrogant young master could be – began lording it over them all, Su She drifted over to Lan Wangji’s side again.

Mostly because no one else would, other than maybe that troublemaker from Yunmeng, Wei Wuxian.

“I know some curses,” he told Lan Wangji, pretending to be casual about it as if he hadn’t accused Lan Wangji’s sect of various awful things. “Really nasty ones. Want me to try one on Wen Chao? I can be subtle.”

“He’d figure out it was you when he checked us all for the inevitable backlash marks,” Wei Wuxian put in. “Then he’d just kill you to get rid of it. Stupid idea.”

“Depends on how quick-acting the curse was,” Su She said peevishly. He hadn’t even been talking to Wei Wuxian, and he hadn’t forgotten who it was that had charged in like a hero from a play to rescue him when he’d overreached himself fighting the Waterborne Abyss even if he doubted Wei Wuxian remembered him in return. “Also, why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be off somewhere drawing fire onto the Jiang sect?”

“What? No,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m not –”

“I mean, I certainly can’t think of any other reasons for your actions, Wei-gongzi,” Su She said, his voice set at its most simpering. It wasn’t like there were any Lan sect elders here to punish him for being disrespectful, after all, and he figured that helping defend the Library Pavilion with Lan Wangji probably earned him a little space to be himself for once. “Aggravating Wen-gonzi, making light of everything, galivanting around flirting with girls – one might almost feel as if you’re on vacation. Surely your Jiang sect will not have to pay for any of that, politically speaking; it’s not as if the Wen sect thinks of them as one of their greatest rivals and is looking for any chance to cut them down…but no, surely it’s my misunderstanding. I’m sure Wei-gongzi has a thoughtful plan, being such a good servant to his sect.”

Wei Wuxian frowned at him. “But that’s not what I’m doing,” he said, but his voice came out a little weaker this time. “That’s not it at all, I was just…hm. Hey, Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng, I have a question for you…”

Su She watched him leave with satisfaction, then turned back to Lan Wangji, who was looking at him again.

“Why do you dislike him?” he asked before Su She could change the subject.

“I don’t dislike him,” Su She said. “I envy him, sometimes. The rest of the time, I pity him.”

“You think Jiang Wanyin will cast him aside, one day,” Lan Wangji said, and Su She thought back to that conversation he’d had with Yu Zhuliu. Lan Wangji had clearly heard more of it than he’d let on.

“Well, yes,” he conceded, because he did. He’d seen how close they were, which was only going to make it worse for them both when it inevitably happened.  

“Would you tell me why? In your own words?”

Su She frowned at Lan Wangji, who raised his hands as if in surrender. “Please.”

Well, if he was going to ask nicely…

Su She decided to pretend that he was talking to Yu Zhuliu.

“Fine. You want my opinion? Whoever raised Wei Wuxian ruined him,” he said bluntly. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but he doesn’t act like a servant – he doesn’t even act like a second son. He acts like a master. He acts like he’s the next heir to the Jiang sect, not Jiang Wanyin; you’ve seen how he’s always bossing him around and refusing to listen to him even when he tells him to behave.”

“He’s his shixiong,” Lan Wangji objected, but mildly.

“For now. Do you really think Wei Wuxian’s going to suddenly learn how to be obedient the second Jiang Wanyin gets instated as sect leader? Or do you think he’ll continue to run rampant, doing just as he likes the way he always has, with Jiang Wanyin bending to his every whim the way he always has? What do you think the cultivation world will think of that?”

Lan Wangji was frowning deeper now, thoughtful.

“The cultivation world isn’t kind to servants who forget their place. If he keeps acting the way he has been, the time will come when he does something so outrages that Jiang Wanyin will have no choice but to throw him away,” Su She concluded. “A servant’s son, however precious, is nothing when weighed against the duty owed to the sect inherited by your ancestors. I mean, even your brother put that first and foremost, and he’s your blood.”

“…I agreed with Brother’s decision.”

“Sure. But did he ask you first?”

Lan Wangji remained quiet.

“If it makes you feel better, there’s always a chance that it won’t become an issue,” Su She continued, mostly to avoid having to listen to Lan Wangji’s injured sort of silence. “Maybe they’ll luck out and instead something will happen to remind Wei Wuxian that he’s a servant and that his job is to throw himself into the abyss to save Jiang Wanyin, probably without even getting thanked for it.”

Lan Wangji looked at him sidelong. After a long few moments of contemplation – Su She really couldn’t stand the way Lan Wangji looked at him, as if he was trying to figure out an interesting puzzle, but he also couldn’t get enough of it, it was horrible – he said, “It will not be that way, with Yu Zhuliu.”

Caught, Su She glared at him.

“How would you solve it?” Lan Wangji asked.

“What?”

“You were a servant, once,” Lan Wangji pointed out. “You are no Yu Zhuliu, no Wei Wuxian, to sacrifice yourself for the Lan sect, and it pains you to pretend to humble yourself before us. What is your solution? You are too clever not to have one.”

Su She wrapped his arms around himself, wishing he didn’t enjoy being called clever as much as he did. It didn’t sound condescending when Lan Wangji said it, the way it did when the Lan sect’s teachers did – like praising a well-performing pet that they’d raised themselves, patting themselves on the back for doing such a good job in training him. He sounded almost as if he resented Su She for being smart enough to see the messy contradiction that was Wei Wuxian’s life, and for being the only person he could ask to shed some light on the subject.

Su She didn’t mind resentment, not even aimed at him. On the contrary, it made it feel real.

Why wouldn’t Lan Wangji resent having to respect someone like him?

“I’m leaving, eventually,” he confessed. “I’m going to start my own sect, or try, anyway, if I can get the money for it from somewhere. Back at home in Moling. Maybe, if I’m very lucky, I’ll be able to convince Yu Zhuliu to come with me, notwithstanding the stupid debt of loyalty he feels he owes your sect.”

Lan Wangji looked contemplative again, surprised but not displeased, as if Su She had suggested something he’d never even considered possible. “What cultivation style will you use?”

“Yours, of course,” Su She said, rolling his eyes at him. “What am I supposed to do, come up with a new one of my own? In what free time, exactly?”

“People will say you’re copying the Lan sect.”

“People have said I’m a copy all my life,” Su She pointed out. “Let the cultivation world sneer and the Lan sect break its rule against gossiping to look down their noses at me – I’ll still be sitting by myself as a sect leader in my own right while they’re just disciples. I’ll make my own rules, admit anyone into the sect that I want, and that’ll be worth all of their disdain.”

He hoped it would be, anyway. He suspected he’d end up being bitter about it, but then again he was always bitter, and anyway, what could he do about it?

If life had taught him one thing, it was that there was no way to make people stop talking, stop mocking, because no matter if he took three baths a day and scrubbed until the blood ran red he would still underneath it all be a servant, a farmer’s son. But he was more than that, he knew he was more than that, and the only alternative – to stay in the Lan sect as a second-class barely-better-than-a-servant for the rest of his life – just wasn’t tolerable.

He’d do what he could and figure out the rest when he came to it.

“You think Wei Wuxian will do the same?”

“Probably?” Su She said and shrugged. “I mean, he has the reputation for being an unorthodox genius, so maybe he’ll come up with his own cultivation style to go with it – you can do things like that when you’re rich and have the time – but as for whether he will form a new sect…how would I know? Maybe he’ll go be a rogue cultivator instead, the way his father did when he got tired of being stuck in the Jiang sect’s shadow. Depends on how many people go with him.”

Lan Wangji hummed thoughtfully. “A rogue cultivator has only to concern himself with his own wellbeing,” he said slowly, as if feeling something out. “A sect – with others.”

“I mean, you could try to take a family around as a rogue cultivator, but I think Wei Wuxian is a walking illustration of why you don’t do that.”

A small flinch. Why were all these well-born sons of the nobility so delicate? It was only loss.

“But you are certain he will go.”

“Well, yes. Either he figures out that he needs to shut up and listen to someone else for once or he leaves, and I don’t think he knows how to listen.” Su She shrugged again. “Why do you care, anyway? He’s Jiang sect. It’s not any of our business.”

Lan Wangji was silent, but somehow it came across as a meaningful silence. An almost pointed silence.  

An embarrassed silence.

“…him, really?” Su She said, twisting around to gawk a little at where Wei Wuxian was having a furious whispered conversation with Jiang Cheng that involved a lot of gestures and even more suspicious looks from the nearby Wen sect guards. “I mean, sure, he’s attractive, no one’s going to deny that – he’s not rated fourth for nothing – but…really? Him? He’s not exactly the quiet-and-thoughtful Lan sect type I thought you’d go for, you know?”

Lan Wangji, with all the great grace and dignity and pomp of a proper young master of high birth and proper breeding, buried his face into his hands.

Su She covered his mouth with his sleeve to keep from laughing at him. It wasn’t exactly nice to laugh at someone who was clearly all too aware of their evidently terrible taste in men.

From the way Lan Wangji glared through his fingers, he wasn’t doing a very good job of muffling his snickers.

It was a good laugh, which was nice because it was the last thing Su She had to laugh about for long while.

The “indoctrination camp” was frankly awful. It wasn’t that he thought being forced to do servant’s work like tilling fields or doing laundry was the worst thing in the world (although he did resent that they didn’t bother paying them for it), and memorizing useless maxims was more or less what the Lan sect excelled at the most, but the constant air of vicious supervision, the threat of punishment, of having the swords they had all worked so hard to obtain taken away from them…

And that was all before they were forced to act as bait in Wen Chao’s night hunt.

“I’m serious,” Su She muttered to Lan Wangji. “I know so many good curses.”

Lan Wangji condescended to elbow him in the side to get him to shut up.

“I miss Yu Zhuliu,” Su She complained instead. “He’s much better company than you are.”

“No one is better company than Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian piped up. He was hanging out by them – not quite with them, but nearby – again.

“I thought the Core-Melting Hand was terrifying,” Jiang Cheng opined. He was following Wei Wuxian, as always, and sticking as close as his shadow, as if he was afraid of losing him. Maybe he was. “All silent and stoic and looming.”

“He doesn’t loom. He’s just tall.”

“All tall people loom. Look at Chifeng-zun, he looms even when he’s sitting down.”

Chifeng-zun, who was the leader of the Nie sect, was, in fact, unreasonably tall and, yes, loomed quite a bit.

“Well, Yu Zhuliu doesn’t,” Sue She said. And then, because he didn’t actually like either of the Jiang sect’s young masters no matter what Lan Wangji might think of them, he added, “Not that you of all people have the place to say anything, Jiang-gongzi. Family shame should not be spread in public.”

He thought that would make an impact, remind them of their manners, but instead all three of them – Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and even Lan Wangji – looked at him in confusion.

“What?” he said, staring at them back. “I know Jiang-gongzi’s maternal family is Meishan Yu…isn’t it?”

“It is,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding baffled. “But what does…wait. Yu Zhuliu – his Yu is Meishan Yu?”

“Yes?” Su She said, looking between them. Yu Zhuliu had said it was no secret, but the junior generation was treating this as if the information had hit them like a sudden landslide: Jiang Cheng had gone white, Wei Wuxian’s jaw was hanging open, and even Lan Wangji’s eyes were as wide and round as the moon. “You didn’t know?”

“I assumed it was another Yu,” Jiang Cheng croaked.

“Meishan Yu probably doesn’t want to admit that one of their own went to work as a servant for another sect after they kicked him out,” Su She concluded. It seemed relatively reasonable to him, but somehow that made all of them look even more upset. “What’s the matter?”

They all just shook their heads and made their way away, looking stunned to a man, and Su She was left to roll his eyes and wonder what in the world made young masters act like that. Something in the water, maybe?

He would curse himself later for making the joke, because there was something in the water of the cave they went to, and that something was, apparently, a corrupted Xuanwu.

(Lan Wangji was still glaring at him for trying to pull the girl out when Wen Chao’s whore demanded it, but it wasn’t his life on the line if the Wen sect went through with their threat to start slaughtering disciples left and right if they couldn’t get to her. Anyway, it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be able to cut her in a way that let out a bit of blood but left her the mobility she might need to escape – she was a cultivator, too! What did it matter that she was a woman?)

Wei Wuxian was holding the Xuanwu’s attention with a fire talisman, and Jiang Cheng was leading the disciples to the pool with the water, which Lan Wangji had identified as containing an exit…as usual, all the young masters were showing their stuff. In a burst of resentful fury, the sort he hadn’t had in weeks, Su She leaned down and grabbed a bow and some arrows. If he shot the Xuanwu’s eye, he might be able to –

A hand fell on his shoulder, and Su She turned to look.

Lan Wangji shook his head. He didn’t seem angry about the girl anymore.

“Keep them,” he said, nodding at the arrows. “There will be Wen sect soldiers waiting for us outside.”

“You don’t think I can make the shot,” Su She accused, feeling obscurely betrayed. “You scored so high in the archery competition – I bet you think you could do better, is that it? You want –”

“If you miss, you may anger it further,” Lan Wangji said. “And I have promised Yu Zhuliu that I would see you safe.”

Su She’s anger was extinguished as quickly as a candle blowing out. “You – did? He asked about me?”

“Before he left with my brother.”

“You should’ve said something,” Su She grumbled, but he let himself be lured into allowing Lan Wangji to use him as a crutch as they waded into the water. At the last moment, Wei Wuxian threw the fire talisman into the air and ran after them, causing the Xuanwu to go crazy and chase, and then there was a bit of frantic swimming – it felt more like drowning, even with Wei Wuxian leading the way for them both – before they got to the other side.

“I’m going to be sick,” Su She groaned, spitting up water, and then he still had to sit up and shoot an arrow back at one of the Wen sect guards that, as Lan Wangji had predicted, were out there.

Of course, a few seconds later the Xuanwu came bursting out of the side of cave, so they all had a whole different set of problems to deal with.

At least the Wen sect mostly ran away.

(Not all of them. A few of them stuck around to shoot some arrows at them – every bad thing Su She had ever thought about any young master, he thought twice for the Wen sect.)

“Next time we deal with this inside the cave,” Su She shouted, running for cover. He was able to get the arrow into the Xuanwu’s eye the way he had planned to in the cave when he finally had a little time to stand and aim – admittedly, he might’ve missed in the cave, he never shot half as well when he was angry – and in the end Lan Wangji shouted something about Chord Assassination and Wei Wuxian had a brilliant-stupid idea about using it like a spider web to make a net and Jiang Cheng swam like a fish to lure it through the right spot and all together with a bunch of the others they ended up chopping the Xuawnu’s head off.

Well, chopping was the wrong word. More like a shichen or more or wretched sawing using Chord Assassination as a garotte, relying mostly on Lan Wangji’s arm strength – Su She and the few other Lan disciples that knew the trick were holding the strings down with burning bleeding fingers, an essential part of the process but ultimately only a prop to help Lan Wangji do what he needed – and by the time it was done their robes were more red and crusted brown than white no matter how many bleaching herbs and special arrays had been used.

“All right, the threat is gone,” Su She said, feeling bitter again as he scanned the treeline. He didn’t even know what the bitterness was about this time. “Can we go already?”

“You can come to Yunmeng,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s closest.”

No one disagreed.

More or less the second after they arrived, just as soon as they’d had baths and a change of clothing, Lan Wangji wanted to go back to the Cloud Recesses or to travel around looking for Lan Xichen. He looked strange in borrowed Yunmeng purple, even if they’d politely given him the lightest and bluest shade they had – really it was at best a pale lavender at best – but that sure didn’t seem to bother Wei Wuxian from the way he kept gawking at Lan Wangji when he thought Lan Wangji wasn’t looking.

“If you don’t trust your brother, trust Yu Zhuliu,” Su She told Lan Wangji irritably after yet another request that was swiftly denied. He’d made a half-hearted effort to remember his manners after the stress of the moment had passed, but Lan Wangji seemed unhappy any time he did so now he was back at being a bit more of his awful actual self. Of course, Lan Wangji liked Wei Wuxian so maybe he just had a kink for rude people? “Do you really think he’d take him anywhere you could find him?”

“Then I should be at the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Wangji said firmly. “To help rebuild –”

“To help make them a target again, you mean?” Su She said scathingly. “Did you forget, somehow, that you’re still a valuable hostage? That they’ll be expecting you to go back? Or is it just that all that nobility is starting to make your brain rot, you stupid fucker?”

Lan Wangji glared at him, tight-lipped, and stalked away, which meant that Su She’s point had probably been taken and they could have at least a little rest before having to start running again.

Before the war started. War, which terrorized the common people…

He needed to go to Moling to check on his family. Even if his brother rejected him, as he feared, he had to go – better rejected than bereaved, surely..?

Consumed with dark thoughts, Su She didn’t notice that he wasn’t alone until he walked straight into Wei Wuxian’s chest.

(Why were they all so tall?)

Wei Wuxian was glaring at him. “Listen,” he said, sounding angry. “Listen, whatever your name is, you can’t talk to Lan Zhan like that –”

Su She punched him in the face.

Wei Wuxian stared up at him in shock from where he’d fallen on his ass on the ground, but Su She didn’t care; he turned on his heel and stormed off, his face hot with rage and shame and bitterness.

“On second thought, we can leave right now,” he spat at a shocked-looking Lan Wangji. “I’m not staying here one more fucking second.”

Whatever your name is.

Like they hadn’t just gone through life and death together, hadn’t fought side by side, like he hadn’t risked his life on Wei Wuxian’s stupid plan, none of that mattered; he wasn’t important enough for Wei Wuxian to remember his name. People like him really were nothing but side characters to people like Wei Wuxian, weren’t they? Their lives, their hopes, their dreams, their bitterness – all irrelevant. An aside at best, mere marginalia, a splash of color to liven up the background.

Su She would bet money that Wei Wuxian knew the names of all the rich young masters that had attended classes with them, whether he liked them or he didn’t. He even knew the name of that little Wen clan member that he’d so bravely stood up for during the archery competition. But not Su She’s name, no, even though he’d been so graciously suffering all of the stupid back-and-forth pining Wei Wuxian had been doing with Lan Wangji, even though he’d let himself foolishly believe that because he and Lan Wangji had something in common that they might be something like friends or at least companions, that he might be treated as an equal –

No, these stupid rich young masters were all the same. He’d been right the first time.

Actually, now that he thought about it, why was he even here? Did he really think Lan Wangji would take his side over Wei Wuxian, who wasn’t only his peer in every sense of the word but also his beloved?

What a waste of time.

Su She left again. He wasn’t stupid enough to try to walk away just as he was, no matter how furious; how far would he get with no money, no food, and even his sword back in Wen custody? Instead he made his way down to the kitchens to ask for travel rations that could last for a while, and planned to visit the armory to borrow a sword after that. He’d need to pack lightly, but comprehensively: who knew how far the Wen sect’s influence spread? He might not be able to risk going into the cities and towns on the way to get supplies, not even wearing borrowed Yunmeng robes – even if he hid the incredibly obvious white forehead ribbon with a hat, he still walked like someone from the Lan sect, something he’d only really noticed once he was surrounded by people who slouched and bent and took large ground-eating steps instead of the sedate pace that he couldn’t quite break the habit of using.

“Su She,” Lan Wangji said from the door to the room they’d been given. Su She didn’t look at him or stop stuffing the travel rations and the spare robes he’d obtained into a qiangkun pouch.

“If you’re coming here to scold me about hitting Wei-gongzi, spare me,” Su She said stiffly. “We’re not in the Cloud Recesses; you don’t have any role over discipline here –”

“The silencing spell would have been more effective.”

Su She blinked, surprised by the apparent non-sequitur, and turned to look at him. “What?”

“To silence him,” Lan Wangji clarified, meaning Wei Wuxian.

As if that was the problem with what Su She had done.

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng piped up – Su She hadn’t seen him standing by Lan Wangji’s side. “Hitting doesn’t work, he just pops right back up again. Please ignore him in the future; he’s an idiot.”

Well, Su She couldn’t disagree with that.

“You have a guest,” Jiang Cheng added. He looked almost – nervous? “Could – would you introduce us? Properly, this time.”

Su She couldn’t think of anyone he knew that Lan Wangji didn’t also know. Why would they ask him? The only person –

He stiffened abruptly, hope welling in his stomach. “Yu Zhuliu? He’s here?”

“Brother sent him to check on me,” Lan Wangji said. “And to tell me to stay where I am. You were right.”

It was – immensely gratifying to hear that.

“He and Mother are having tea,” Jiang Cheng added, looking impressed. “She insisted. It’s so weird.”

Yu Zhuliu looked the same as he always did, when Su She finally got to see him: tall and broad-shouldered, steady as a mountain, untroubled by wind or rain. There were a few points of similarity between his face and Madame Yu’s, if you looked for them, and he seemed pleased by her surprisingly gracious reception – when they spoke about it later, it turned out that he greatly admired her, the famous (or infamous) Violet Spider who had made a name for herself as a fierce warrior and top-grade cultivator, and who had never looked down at him for his birth when they’d both been younger.

Wei Wuxian didn’t apologize at any point, though he also didn’t call Su She out as the cause for his black eye. Instead, he opted to act as though their earlier confrontation had never happened, bounding into the room Su She shared with Lan Wangji – no one else rose at the same hour they did – and insisting on taking them around to see the sights of the Lotus Pier, to spend a day on a boat, another picking lotus seeds, and yet another shooting down kites.

Su She refused to go shoot down kites, not wanting to risk humiliation at something he was actually pretty decent at by competing at archery against Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji, and spent the day with Yu Zhuliu instead.

“I missed you,” he blurted out instead of saying something reasonable. “I mean – not that I wanted you to be there and suffering, it was pretty awful, and who knows what the Wen sect might have tried to get you to do, it’s just – you know – ”

Yu Zhuliu was a reserved man who did not speak much. He put his hand on Su She’s and said only, “I know.”

Su She swallowed, and stared down at the hand that rested on him. It was a good hand, to his mind: broad in the palm, with short fingers that were the exact opposite of the long graceful ones favored by the Lan sect, but it did its vicious work well enough that the whole cultivation world knew about it – the whole cultivation world feared it.

Su She had never once worried about it. That probably made him a fool.

“Yu Zhuliu,” he said, very cautiously, even though he knew he shouldn’t speak; it was him being a fool again, except only this time he was a fool a hundred times over. “I know – I know that the Lan sect is very important to you. They rescued you at a bad moment in your life, and you owe them your loyalty; I understand that. But…do you think...maybe – one day in the future…”

Yu Zhuliu was looking at him steadily. He didn’t pull back his hand.

Su She gathered up his courage. “I’m going to go home to Moling, someday. Maybe even someday soon. And when I do, I’m not – I’m not going to go back to the Lan sect afterwards. I’m going to start my own sect, if I can manage it. When I do, would you – consider coming with me?”

He waited for Yu Zhuliu’s response with bated breath.

Yu Zhuliu looked serious and thoughtful, and he opened his mouth to respond –

There was a giant clatter from outside their door. “Wen sect!” someone shouted. “They’re here!”

Su She and Yu Zhuliu looked at each other, alarmed, and rushed out.

Unfortunately, that just meant they got a front row seat to the travesty that happened next.

Su She felt sick to his stomach: he’d predicted long ago that Wei Wuxian would one day rediscover that the Jiang sect saw him as only a servant, as something that could be sacrificed for the good of the sect, but each sizzle and snap of Zidian on Wei Wuxian’s back made him feel worse and worse. Su She’d been beaten plenty of times before, even whipped on occasion, but then again he’d never really taken the Lan sect to heart as his family – it wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s fault that he’d been so badly raised, tricked into thinking that they loved him like one of their own, into acting like a proud and arrogant young master who had a family that would hold up the world for him no matter what he did.

“She’s pulling the blows,” Yu Zhuliu murmured in his ear, too low for anyone else to hear, and that helped, a little. But not that much, since it was clear that Jiang Cheng, horrified, couldn’t tell, when it wasn’t clear if Wei Wuxian could, and then in the end it turned out to be all for nothing because Wang Lingjiao still demanded his hand.

Worse: he wasn’t sure if it was that, or the casual mention of a supervisory office, that was the step too far for Madame Yu.

Su She did not especially appreciate Madame Yu’s comments about Wang Lingjiao’s status as a servant, unsurprising and almost expected though they might be – although in a moment of horror-stricken hysteria he noticed that her words made Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji simultaneously flinch and glance over at him in concern, apparently all to a one forgetting the circumstances they were all in out of fear of his sharp tongue – but seeing her beat up the disgusting Wang Lingjiao was oddly gratifying.

Right up until the Wen sect guards she had brought with her started attacking from the inside, while from outside the sound of bombardment began – Wen sect’s armies had been lying in wait.

“Kill them!” Wang Lingjiao screeched the second she was free to do so, lunging forward with claws extended at Madame Yu’s face. “Kill them all –”

She never got that far.

Yu Zhuliu’s palm caught her dead in the belly, the force of it throwing her backwards into the arms of one of her guards, who quickly scurried away with her.

“A waste,” Madame Yu said, straightening her clothing. “Of your abilities, primarily. Did she even have enough of a golden core to justify melting?”

Yu Zhuliu didn’t bother responding, drawing his sword, and the next thing Su She knew they were all being given swords from dead Wen sect guards and heading out into the battlefield.

“Oh, I really hate this,” Su She said, looking down at the one he was given. As a Wen sect blade, it wouldn’t have any pity on him, and he didn’t think he was good enough to avoid getting skewered the first second he got angry and stopped paying attention to all of his weak spots. “Doesn’t anyone have a spare guqin I can use instead? I know some really good attack songs.”

“I think I have one in my room, actually,” Wei Wuxian said, and led him away from the others, limping only a little. Madame Yu really must have been pulling her strikes – not that Su She hadn’t believe Yu Zhuliu, of course, but still.

“You play?” Su She asked as they hurried through the hallways. “I thought you used a dizi.”

“I – considered picking it up. Briefly.”

“Just kiss him already,” Su She advised, deciding to try to be nice for once. “It’ll be faster, and your reception will be warm.”

“Kiss…who?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of genius?” Su She growled, and took the never-used guqin. It had been impossible to use anything more than the most straightforward sound attacks when they’d been fighting at the Cloud Recesses, given how many Lan sect disciples and even servants cultivated with music, but here at the Jiang sect where just about everyone was a swordsman first, musician later, and only Lan Wangji to compete with, Su She had a bit more freedom to go find a nice safe spot near the walls to play.

He wasn’t a guqin player on Lan Wangji’s standard – it still burned to admit it even if he maybe didn’t hate him as much as he used to – but he’d spent an awful lot of time in the library looking for things he could use when he was building his own sect and, well, he’d always liked the weird stuff.

“Wait, are you playing ‘Banish Evil’?” Jiang Cheng asked at one point, hopping over a wall to get near enough to ask.

“What? No. Are you deaf? They barely sound alike,” Su She said. “Now get out of range already before it you’re affected.”

Not long after, the effect started to show, with Wen sect cultivators falling left and right out of the sky above his head once their qi started locking up in response to his music.

Had he looked up a method to lock someone’s qi through music just because it reminded him of Yu Zhuliu? No, but it sure did help motivate him in learning the abstruse and needlessly complicated finger-work for something that, yes, okay, maybe sounded a little bit like ‘Banish Evil’, but not enough for people not to immediately call him out on what would otherwise sound like an incredibly bad rendition of that song.

“Once formed, your sect will be immensely unpopular,” Lan Wangji informed him as he flew by on his sword, his own musical cultivation acting as a shield to allow him to fight unaffected by Su She’s music.

Su She grinned down at the guqin and thought to himself that he’d be keeping this one. They could consider it payment for having made him have to put up with Wei Wuxian.

At some point in the battle, Sect Leader Jiang returned and ended up fighting back to back with his wife, which – once the battle was over – turned into a shouting match.

Yu Zhuliu, when he arrived, took one look and his eyebrows went up. “Perhaps we should assist with clean-up on the pier,” he said, delicately enough that Su She immediately figured out what he was implying.

“Yeah,” he said, covering up his smirk with his sleeve. “Let’s go quickly.”

“Don’t you two worry about our feelings getting hurt by it,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding amused, as Jiang Cheng nodded along. “We’re more than used to them fighting.”

“Is that what you call it in the Jiang sect?” Su She sniggered, unable to resist, and both of them paled.

“How would you even know about that?” Jiang Cheng eventually recovered enough to volley back. “Being from the Lan sect and all – I’m amazed it isn’t against one of your rules.”

“Su She is starting his own sect,” Lan Wangji, appearing from who-knows-where, interjected. “With fewer rules.”

“Wait, really?” Jiang Cheng asked, looking – he looked impressed, actually. “A sect of your own? That’s amazing!”

Su She flushed, his face hot and red at once. No one had ever said anything positive about his idea before. “Not anytime soon,” he demurred. “I mean, even a small cultivation sect has to have money enough to buy a house – pay for swords, musical instruments, things like that – and I’m broke.”

“Oh, money,” Wei Wuxian said, in a tone of someone who’d never had to do without, and Su She was already starting to secretly plan his murder – yes, he was aware that Wei Wuxian had reputedly spent some time on the streets as an orphaned child and no, he did not care – when he added, carelessly, “You helped save our home, the least we can do is give you something to help start yours.”

Su She stopped dead. “Are you serious?”

“Certainly,” Jiang Cheng said, and fuck, they were being serious. That was the Jiang sect heir saying he would give him money, not a servant, someone whose words could plausibly be held to be binding on the rest of his sect. “Do you have a plan for what cultivation style you’ll teach new disciples?”

“Uh,” Su She said. His mind was blank. “I was just planning on using the Lan sect techniques.”

Wei Wuxian looped an arm over his shoulder. “With some innovations, thought, right? That qi-locking music was pretty nice, and I’ve never seen it used before.”

Su She puffed up a little. It was pretty nice, good of Wei Wuxian to recognize that – and he hadn’t even seen the teleportation talisman Su She had been painstakingly teaching himself how to use!

“Nor I,” Lan Wangji said, and looked pointedly at Su She. “I suspect it comes from the forbidden section of our library.”

“No, it isn’t,” Su She said immediately, holding up his hands. He knew what the punishment was for going in there without permission. “Not the forbidden, but the forgotten – I was one of the people assigned to sort through old inheritances. Books from abroad, obscure books no one ever bothered categorizing, that sort of thing. The big jumble in the basement of the secondary library…you know, the fire hazard. The one that blew up in the Wen sect’s faces when they tried to light it.”

“You remember enough of them to make it work?” Jiang Cheng asked, now looking even more impressed.

“Well, no,” Su She admitted. “But I made copies of everything that looked interesting and hid them in an abandoned root cellar halfway down the road to Caiyi Town, so they should still be intact.”

Lan Wangji lit up, which for him was a slight bit of color to his cheeks, a slight arch to his eyebrows, a faint curve to his eyes – in other words, he was positively glowing. “Would you permit copies to be made of your copies? We would gladly pay for the privilege.”

“And if you put that together with our money, and you should definitely have enough to fund a sect,” Wei Wuxian said enthusiastically. “And we can come visit!”

“Sooner rather than later, actually,” Jiang Cheng said, rubbing the back of his head. “Before the yelling started, Mother and Father agreed that we younger generation should lie low somewhere for a few weeks somewhere obscure to avoid any immediate reprisals from the Wen sect – and once they’ve lost the trail, we go out to recruit new sects to join the war.”

“That would be in line with what Brother requested that I do,” Lan Wangji observed, voice carefully neutral as always. “I would not object to spending some time in Moling, courting a newly formed sect.”

Su She didn’t know what to say, his mouth moving open and closed. It was almost everything he’d ever wanted, and he only need to reach out and grasp it – his own sect, his brother, the respect of the arrogant young masters…

Nothing could be better.

A hand fell on his shoulder, the warmth of it lighting him up inside.

“Our sect would be happy to host you,” Yu Zhuliu said.

Su She was wrong.

Now

it was perfect.

#mdzs #su she #wen zhuliu #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #my fic #my fics #VERY LONG #rainbowrites

[godlyakechi]

‘’Oh, compared child, compared child, I already know. You don't have to tell me, I know I'll never be as good as her.’’

‘‘keep reading’‘ for theorizing and information on my second animatic coming up for SDS!! 

*warning, there’s a LOTTTTT*

theory kinda thing lmao: 

eban and gennai both feel inferior to each other in some way.

 eban is jealous of gennai because it seems their parents favor the younger sibling; gennai gets gifts from them for getting good grades, to which gennai is told by his father he can just give it to eban if he doesn’t want it; which is never the case because gennai is never a giver. eban’s even been called a ‘’bastard child’’ by gennai during a fight; which probably tells the reason why his parents don’t seem to care much for him...eban has also said ‘’...photography feels like the only thing that can’t be taken away from me.’’  things that eban owns, from minor to major,  gets stolen by gennai, and he couldn’t do anything about it because his parents wouldn’t care. eban has probably lived a rough life with the title of ‘’bastard child...’’ part of me feels like gennai learned that phrase from their parents calling eban so. So naturally...eban has always been envious of gennai’s affection he gets from their parents. he feels inferior in that way...eban has never fully revealed his feelings like gennai has;;;; there’s only been a lot of foreshadowing. so i could be completely wrong which is why i used the word ‘’probably’’ a lot lol. but yes...

*cries* 

ONTO gennai. gennai is much more obvious on why he feels extremely inferior to eban. ‘’you’ve noticed it too, right? eban is too far away for me to reach that kind of radiance.’’ gennai sincerely loves his big brother despite his independent,  rather crude and sometimes off-putting personality toward others; as maskcover quoted in the q and a chat, ‘’...Gennai is no one’s b*tch... Except for eban.’’  he’s known as a hoarder, and is always scared of people judging his collection (of literally everything he lays his sights on,) as based on when y/n discovers his room. he always tells her to stop judging, stop looking. why did this habit of collecting everything, even old shoe boxes, begin? y/n was able to deduct he as lonely. he never talked to anyone besides eban, and without eban...gennai was left alone in a room full of ‘’material items that held no worth when placed beside sentimental value’’.  i believe he’s always felt lonely and had troubles making friends from a young age. he has troubles getting along with the house mates and has always seemed to believe all he needs is his big brother as that is all he has. so when he sees that his older brother is popular in school, easy to get along with, ‘’cool,’’ seeing all his friends; gennai wants that. so badly. he wants to be like eban so badly;;;;;

*sobs*

i love them...so much *wjeigoajgoeagj*

ANOTHER theory i want to share later is LILITO. GOD there is SO MUCH foreshadowing for him!!! an unbelievable amount that makes me think that maskcover was going to reveal more about lilito’s past, especially since we’re left with ‘’RUDE LILITO’’ on our forever cliff hanger *chokes on sobs* why are they all so dramatic and make me wanna cry. lilito has DEFINITELY had something severely traumatic in the past happen to him and it makes me insanely sad. OMGHG OH MY GOD AND AKAI--- i CANT!!!! 

ANYHOW, that is why i’m working on an animatic for the song ‘’Compared Child’’ by Tuyu!!!! I hope to work on it a lot more after i finish my ACTs. SO. yes....

thank you so much for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you have any opinions or thoughts on my theories let me knoww!!! i don’t look at dms much but i really should because i realized recently that i had a few that have been there for who knows how long and now i’m too scared to respond LMAOJGEIOWAHG sorry

#eban #animatic information #theory #sds theory #sds #maskcover #maskcover's sds #i had a dream last night that maskcover came backkkk she changed her profile picture to some like quote or something #and she was like ''i'm gonna write a LOT'' and there was chapter 37 up for sds #and two new stories #i woke up crying like LMAO what a REALISTIC freaking DREAM really had me going

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: Mahiru convinces Kuro to temporarily adopt a cat. (KuroMahi, Modern/Highschool AU)

Mahiru could only stare at the sight before him. Kuro, the infamous delinquent in his class, was smiling at a stray cat. He hadn’t noticed him yet since he was distracted by the animal before him. He decided to play a small prank on him and quietly crept closer to him. With him distracted, Mahiru didn’t expect to hear him say: “Do you need something, Mahiru?”

“How did you know it was me?” He pouted and moved to sit next to him. Mahiru looked down at the cat and it was apparent that someone had abandoned it. The cat pawed at the walls of the cardboard box to escape. Kuro reached down and lightly stroked his fingers over its little head. “I didn’t know you were an animal person. Are you going to take the cat home?”

“No,” His answer was short and he didn’t give him a particular reason. Kuro was a quiet person and Mahiru didn’t know what he was thinking sometimes. They were in the same class over the past few years and they would occasionally be partnered together for projects. He had developed a crush on Kuro. “I found this little guy a few days ago. I would check on him after school but no one adopted him yet.”

“A cute kitty like this? I would take him home immediately but my apartment doesn’t allow pets.” He lifted the cat out of the box and cradled it in his arms. Mahiru rubbed its stomach and his fingers brushed against the blue scarf wrapped around its neck. He noticed the letter “K” was embroidered on one end. Kuro didn’t say a word but Mahiru knew that he was the one who gave it to the cat. “If you’re going to take care of him every day like this, you should adopt him.”

As if the cat wanted to voice its agreement, it reached over and patted his knee with its little paw. Mahiru giggled at the warm sight. While Kuro gently scratched its head, he took his hand back and shook his head in the end. “I don’t know if I should. I’ve never had a pet before and my family can’t afford to adopt one. There’s a lot of us under one roof and money is tight.”

“I can talk to my friends and ask if one of them wants to adopt a cat. Until we find someone, can he stay with you? It’ll be for a few days and I’ll buy all the supplies. The only thing you’ll have to do is fill his food bowl. I’ll visit you after school to help you too.” Mahiru suggested. His plan was logical but he didn’t want to pressure Kuro to accept it. “It’s okay if you can’t, Kuro.”

“I guess I can watch him for a few days. I think we should limit it to only three days though. My little brother loves animals and I can already see them becoming attached. I don’t want Lily and the others to be sad when it leaves.” Kuro told him. His red eyes softened whenever he spoke of his family so Mahiru could see that they were important to him.

“Thank you, Kuro. We should exchange numbers so you can call me if anything happens. Can you text me your address too?” Mahiru asked and took out his phone. As they traded phones, they discussed how they would share the duties of owning a cat. “We need to take him to the vet before you bring him home. I’ll buy a bed for him and everything else he needs while you’re giving him a checkup.”

“What about a name for him?” Kuro asked. “It’ll be awkward to call him ‘cat’ all the time.”

“Neko or Tora are good names for names for a cat.” Mahiru suggested.

“Cat and Tiger? Those are cliché names but I guess a simple guy like you would choose them.” His words made Mahiru pout slightly and his expression caused Kuro to chuckle. He reached over and tousled his brown hair. “You’re simple but I think that’s a good thing. What do you think about the name Kohana? I did find this guy in the flower garden.”

“I love it.” Mahiru said and rose to his feet with the cat cradled in his arms. He held out his free hand to Kuro to help him stand. “Let’s go get everything Kohana needs.”

The next day, Mahiru waited outside of the school’s gate for Kuro. He texted him the address to his home but he thought they could walk to his house together. Since he had a crush on Kuro, he felt excited and nervous to spend more time with him. He spotted him among the crowd and he waved to catch his attention. Kuro approached him and Mahiru saw him yawn briefly.

“How can you be sleepy, Kuro? You slept through most of class.” Mahiru’s light chastising was followed by a warm chuckle. His smile told him that he wasn’t truly angry or annoyed with him. “How is Kohana adjusting to his temporary home? We’ve been partners for a lot of school assignments but this is the first time I’m coming over to your house.”

“I put the cat bed in the living room but Kohana made himself at home on my bed.” Kuro told him. He thought of how Mahiru would always treat him with kindness and volunteer to be his school partner. Most of his classmates were distant with him due to his infamous father but Mahiru never asked him about his family. “My brother loves the cat already. He’s asking if we can keep him.”

“I’m sorry, he must’ve been disappointed when you told him that he’s only staying with you temporarily. Oh, how about I cook a dinner for your brother that will cheer him up? What’s his favourite food? Not to brag but I’m a good cook.” Mahiru had a proud grin as he listed foods and baked goods that he knew how to make. “I hope your parents won’t mind if I take over their kitchen for the night.”

After a moment of silence, Kuro spoke in a soft voice. “My mother left us after our father was arrested.”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. That must’ve been difficult for you and your family.” Mahiru quickly apologized. He lost his mother when he was young so he could sympathize with his situation. He hoped that he didn’t make the moment awkward. While he had heard rumours about his father, he didn’t want to ask Kuro and make him uncomfortable.

“You didn’t know so you don’t need to apologize. We’ve all adjusted. I’m just glad that we were able to stay together after losing our parents.” Kuro said with a shrug. Most wouldn’t see the way he looked down at the ground to hide his eyes but Mahiru did. “Since we’re all busy, we don’t have time to cook for eight people and we’ll usually buy pizza or something. It’ll be nice to have a homemade dinner again.”

“Wait, eight? Including you? You have seven siblings?” He stopped walking in his shock. Most people were surprised when they learned how large his family was but his reaction was cute. Kuro playfully poked his forehead to pull him out of his shock. Mahiru smiled back at him and said, “I’ll make curry because it’s simple and I can make a lot of servings quickly. I’ll need carrots and…”

He listed ingredients they would need to cook. Then, Mahiru took his hand and pulled Kuro down the street. “Let’s go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients we need. I’ll pay for everything too.”

“I think that was the best meal we’ve ever had. I’m so full and I think I’ll have a cat nap.” Kuro hummed and fell backwards onto his bed. He closed his eyes and felt something rough yet furry press against his cheek. He groaned slightly as he opened his eyes again. Sitting next to him was Kohana who repeatedly poked his face with its paw. Mahiru leaned over him and picked up the cat. “Thanks for saving me from the puffball, Mahiru. I’m sure I would’ve gotten a hairball if you didn’t.”

“Glad I could be your superhero.” Mahiru winked at him before he sat on the bed. The mattress shifted beneath them and it made Kuro turn towards him. He rose slightly and rested his head in his hand so he could look up at Mahiru. “Your family is nice. I grew up as an only child so I’m a little envious. I’ve always wondered what having a bunkbed would be like.”

Kuro shared his room with two of his siblings. They were playing in the backyard so he could speak with Mahiru alone in his room. His family could be overwhelming so he was glad Mahiru got along with them better than he expected. It was clear that they both lived different lives but Mahiru didn’t treat him differently. “Do you think your brother would mind if I sat on the top bunk?”

“I won’t tell him.” Kuro’s answer gave Mahiru a wide smile. He handed the cat to him before he climbed the ladder to the top bunk. Mahiru leaned over the side and grinned down at him. He held onto the edge and hung upside down. Kuro sat up and moved to be next to him in case he fell. “Your blood is going to rush to your head. You’re more reckless than my little brother.”

“Are you talking about Hyde or World End? They seem like the troublemakers of the family.” Mahiru asked and turned his head to face Kuro. They were closer than he expected and the realization made Mahiru blush. He already saw his blush but Mahiru tried to turn away to hide it. He pulled himself back onto the top bunk. Accidentally, he placed his hand on the blanket and the lack of friction caused him to fall. Kuro jumped to his feet and stretched out his arms to catch him.

They both fell to the ground but neither of them was hurt by the fall. Mahiru was on top of him and he sat up with an arm around his waist. He looked down at him to check if he was hurt. Their gaze met and Kuro thought his eyes were beautiful despite their simple colour. “Sorry, Kuro. Are you hurt?”

“I can still move so I don’t think anything’s broken.” He reassured him but Mahiru still ran his hands through his hair to search for a bump. He paused when he felt a small weight fall onto his shoulder. Kuro reached up to take down the cat that had jumped onto his head. “I guess this little guy wanted to join us.”

“That’s cute.” Mahiru chuckled and moved off Kuro’s lap. He petted the cat in his arms. “I talked with Licht and he said he’ll adopt the cat after he returns from his tour. This might sound strange, since I haven’t spent much time with Kohana, but I’ll miss playing with him like this. It was fun hanging out with you too, Kuro.”

“Sometimes, my family volunteers at the animal shelter.” Kuro told him. “Do you want to join us?”

“I would love to!” Mahiru didn’t hesitate to answer with a bright smile.

#servamp #kuromahi #sloth pair #servamp kuro #mahiru shirota #fanfiction

[prismatales]

Shoto’s Perspective

Part 2 of Endeavor with a Quirkless Child, this one focuses on Shoto’s relationship with his Sister. I’d recommend to read the first one to understand some points.

Previous - Next

Growing up with a father like Endeavor wasn’t easy for Shoto, after all he was never treated like a child, but as a tool who’s only purpose was to accomplish his father’s ambitions, he hated it.

Then there was his sister, Y/N was always somewhere else, never training, she was always with their siblings or their mother, often were the days he could hear her crying quietly at night. Why was she crying? She never had to train like he had to.

He saw the ways his father ignored her in favor of training him, why couldn’t he ignore him as well? as a child he was envious of her, but as he grew up he came to realize why, she was quirkless and according to his father a “distraction”, he couldn’t remember the last time he spoke to her.

Shoto had been accepted into the Hero department, unknown to him you were in the Support department, being all by yourself gave you a lot more time to study, by the time high school was about to start you were already a genius, so getting into U.A. wasn’t difficult.

It was obviously bad luck, your class was going to help in the creation of the costumes for class 1-A, “just my luck, just.my.fucking.luck” Hatsume couldn’t stop laughing at her new friend’s muttering, “It can’t be that bad Todo-chan!” that was the nickname she gave you, eventually everyone in the class started calling you that, even the teachers.

You were not in charge of designing Shoto’s costume, instead it was the costume of a guy called Bakugo Katsuki. The classmate who got Shoto’s asked you about his quirk in hopes you could lend them a helping hand, when they showed you the concept Shoto gave for his costume a chuckle came out without realizing, he was more spiteful than you thought.

During lunch time you would do everything to avoid Shoto, it wasn’t that you hated him, it was on reflex, it became a habit you ended up developing while growing up. That didn’t stop you from glancing at him during lunch time, a few of his classmates noticed the girl staring at him every now and then, you weren’t as sneaky as you thought. The funny thing was Shoto had crossed paths with you more than once but he never recognized or paid attention to you.

Sero and Kaminari told him about the cute girl that would stare at him from a distance, he only listened once, so that’s where that feeling of being watched came from.

During the Sports festival and the accidental reveal he was confused when Present Mic yelled out Todoroki again, he had already crossed the finish line a long time ago, then he heard it again. Todoroki…Y/N? At the mention of your name his body quickly turned towards the Stadium’s entrance.

Crossing the finish line was a girl wearing support equipment, she was bent over, hands on her knees and panting tiredly, but her face quickly shot up in a panic at the mention of her name. Her (Color) hair was short, (Name) was a red head and as far as he remembered her hair reached her waist, but then he saw her eyes, it was her…It was her sister.

what were you doing at U.A.? hadn’t you chosen another school? and why was everyone yelling?! Kaminari and Kirishima were shouting “That’s your sister?!”, before he could go and talk to you Midnight was already announcing the next event, the Cavalry battle.

He noticed your team never got close to his, and although your teammates were good they lost when Monoma took your points, he wouldn’t forget the look on your face, you were so furious you tried to use a bracelet with a taser on the Blond.

With the cavalry battle over and after confronting Midoriya his next goal was to find you and talk, but then Shoto heard Endeavor yelling at you, he followed the noise just to see his father holding your arm, from the look on your face he was hurting your arm.

When you started telling Endeavor how you were ignoring Shoto just like he ordered, that left him thinking, didn’t you hate him for having a quirk? both of your parent’s quirks specifically? he always thought that was the reason you never talked to him, not because Endeavor had forbidden it. He snapped out of his thoughts when you ran off after leaving Endeavor behind.

During the fighting tournament Shoto could notice Y/N watching, she was genuinely cheering for him by the look on her face, not to mention the way she cheered for him along with Midoriya. Unlike his father, his sister shouted his name with genuine concern for him, it made him think of the times his mother tried to comfort him.

With the festival over Shoto tried to approach you, but everytime he’d get close you would walk away, sometime even running away in panic, it made him feel hurt, if you were so concerned for him then why were you avoiding him?

The day he decided to go visit his mother he didn’t see you at home, Fuyumi told him you had gone out. The surprise on his face was pretty obvious when he found you talking to Rei on her hospital room, the look on his mother’s face was joyful, she thought you were getting along, and neither of you had the courage to tell her the truth.

he asked you to listen to him and not to run away once you finished the visit, hesitantly you accepted and took him to your favorite cafe, it was adorable seeing him trying to choose, there were things on the menu he’s never heard of or tried before. His diet had been so strict growing up he rarely tried anything sweet or even remotely close to junk food, the closest thing he’s ever had was probably mochi.

“You do realize our father can’t control your diet anymore right?” you leaned forward, finger pointing the desserts section at his menu. “you can start with something simple like their green tea ice cream, or you can go wild and order the chocolate and raspberry milkshake, it’s really sweet but honestly everything on the menu’s delicious” he gave you a look filled with curiosity “how often do you come here?” “pretty much every Friday, my friend’s the owner’s grandaughter and she dragged me here to celebrate when we started mid-school” you waved at the old couple in the register “She’s studying abroad in Canada, but it was our little tradition to come here on Fridays, and this place has such a cozy feeling it’s hard to avoid”. he had to admit you were right, the moment he stepped in a warm feeling was all around him, it felt right, just like his mother’s embrace.

The both of you talked for a while, about school, your childhood, the festival, he told you how he had ended up listening on your conversation with Endeavor, a part of you felt ashamed of the way you reacted, but shoto reassured you it was fine to react like that at the threat of being pulled out of school.

He found out you had been assigned to work on his new costume, the classmate that used to work on it dropped out, they couldn’t handle the stress, the fact you were the one helping them out the most ended up with the teacher allowing you to work on two hero costumes. You also made fun of the first one.

The day he introduced you to his classmates was a day to remember, Kaminari mentioned how him and his friends would catch you staring from time to time and thought you were a girl crushing on Shoto much to your embarassment, they quickly apologized when they saw you covering your face in shame.

Bakugo called them a bunch of blind idiots for not figuring it out sooner, he knew who you were the moment he met you while working on his costume, not to mention the time he heard your classmates calling you “Todo-chan”, but he just didn’t care, he had to admit you had done a good job on his gauntlets though, that made you ease up a bit.

The girls invited you to hang out with them next weekend, everyone quickly caught up with your nickname, it would be easier to difference you and your brother that way, Shoto was content his sister was getting along with his classmates, specially when Midoriya bonded with you about the feeling of growing up quirkless.

Kirishima mentioned your hair, the color was a bit messy and uneven “It was your first time dyeing your hair, wasn’t it?” “Yes, how did you know?” he rubbed his neck in embarassment and mentioned how the same thing happened to him, later he gave you the name of the place where he had his hair done.

When Y/N argued with their father about the internship she was venting with Shoto “He doesn’t even know how much effort I put in my work! and to think my project ended up being about him! this is unbelievable!” all your brother did was listen and watch as your hands were flying everywhere at the same time you spoke, somehow his eyes landed on your hair and it was like a light bulb went off, he had an idea you probably wouldn’t refuse and quietly went to look for Enji’s credit card.

The result was worth it once he witnessed his father burst into flames at the sight of Y/N as a blonde, Shoto couldn’t help but jokingly aski if you were All Might’s secret love child which you replied with a deadpan expression “I wish”.

During the attack on the training camp and Bakugo’s kidnapping you had stayed at home with Fuyumi, the both of you worried out of your minds when Shoto had gone rescue his classmate. But the moment he came back home the first thing he got was an earful from his worried twin, that quickly died down when they heard his father tearing apart the training room.

Things were calm for a few weeks, you made it a routine to go to the cafe at least once a week an have study sessions together, most of the time you were together in class 1-A dorms, mainly because the majority of the support department was always busy working in the development studio.

Then the day of Endeavor’s debut as the number one hero and the fight against high-end happened. The both of you were watching the broadcast with his friends, and the moment it seemed Endeavor had been defeated Shoto could only watch in shock at the sight of what appeared to be his father’s corpse.

But you? a million thoughts were running through your head in that moment, chills running down your spine, an overwhelming feeling of dread, hearing nothing else but static, you could see Shoto talking, but were unable to listen, the feeling of being lightheaded making you fall on your knees and having trouble breathing. You were having a panic attack.

Uraraka screamed the moment you feel on the floor and started hyperventilating, Iida was quick to carry you to the couch, Shoto snapped out of his shock when he hear the yelling, he didn’t know what to do as tears started running down your face, he was afraid to make it worse, but he tried to talk to you and distract you. Luckily Aizawa arrived soon after to help.

By the time Endeavor rose again and managed to defeat the Nomu you had calmed down, but the stress caused you to pass out on the couch from exhaustion, Shoto stayed close during that time, he was worried and so were his classmates, some of them stayed around in case Shoto needed help with something.

It was almost midnight when you finally woke up with a blanket covering you, turning your head slowly the sight of mismatched hair was the first thing you noticed, Shoto had fallen asleep sitting on the floor, waiting for you to wake up. He woke up at the feeling of hands stroking his hair, but the moment he saw you awake he quickly got up from the floor.

“What happened?” You were still laying down “You had a panic attack and passed out” “oh…” there was silence for a few minutes, but then your brother told you Endeavor had won the fight, the news made you relax a little, but there was a clear sadness in your eyes.

“You want to forgive him don’t you?” “…what?” “Father, the moment everyone thought he had been defeated you started shaking…Do you want to forgive him?” you could only look at the ceiling, did you wanted to? tears slowly started to form in your eyes, just to quickly end up being be wiped with the heel of your hands as you sobbed.

“I…I don’t know what to do” Your could only mutter with a broken voice “…He’s our father…and he hurt us for along time…but he’s trying to fix things with us, would it be the right thing to do?”. Shoto could only stare at his weeping sister, he hated seeing you like this.

The day Natsuo yelled at their father and told him why you had cut your hair didn’t shock him anymore, the day he took you to the salon you mentioned him why you did it, the sad smile you gave made him feel terrible, after all Fuyumi once mentioned how much you loved having long hair.

He knew it would probably upset you, but he still went and told their father about your panic attack, and the way you were hesitant to forgive him, Endeavor was a great hero, but he was lacking as a father, the last thing he told him was that if he wanted to make up for his mistakes he should start with you and Rei.

Months later when he saw your red hair growing out he realized things were starting to change, while you haven’t fully forgiven your father yet, things slowly started to change for the best.

Hope you enjoyed this!

@godtieruwu​

I have like three more ideas for this, it’s probably going to turn into a mini-fic and some side stories.

Want to make a request? my askbox is open!

I also made an avatar on picrew to show you guys the way I imagined reader, this is pretty much how she looks after getting rid of the hair dye

Update / January 19, 2021: This story will change from a Reader insert to an OC.

#bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #mha imagine #bnha imagine #mha hc #bnha hc #reader insert #sibling reader #sister reader #reader is a todoroki #shouto todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki family #enji todoroki #todoroki fuyumi #bnha shoto todoroki #bnha endeavor #headcanons #imagine #reader

[katewalker]

MASS EFFECT OC TAG GAME.

tagged by the lovely @saecookie​ 💙 thank you love, it was great reading about your shep! tagging my mutuals & followers who want to talk about their own shepard (don’t forget to @ me so i can read about them!!! i won’t mind at all 💙)​ so here’s my sad girl:

GENERAL name: avery shepard alias(es): none gender: cis age: from 29 in ME to 32 in ME3 birthdate: april 11, 2154 place of birth: mindoir hometown: small colony outside of mindoir’s main one spoken language(s): galactic standard sexual preference: bisexual occupation: alliance recruit / graduate of the n7 system alliance special forces program / veteran of the skyllian blitz / survivor of akuze / executive officer on the normandy / first human spectre 

APPEARANCE eye color: blue hair color: deep dark brown almost black height: 183cm scars: old one below her left eye (hitten by debris during the attack on mindoir), old long and healed one on inner thigh (n7 training gone too far), an long deep ugly one on her lower belly (akuze) 

FAVORITE color: blue hair color : doesn’t care song: she likes whatever is currently popular on earth, she’s not much into music and appreciate a bit of everything food: spicy stuff, especially spicy noodles drink: ginger beer and vodka (best when the two are mixed)

HAVE THEY passed university: is n7 program like uni for soldiers? had sex: yes had sex in public: yes gotten pregnant: no, she can’t be pregnant following the wound she got on akuze kissed a boy: yes kissed a girl: yes gotten tattoos: no gotten piercings: yes, one ring on the left side of her nose when she was a teen, never put it back on after mindoir been in love: no, only flings that ended naturally stayed up for more than 24 hours: of course

ARE THEY a virgin: no a cuddler: only after she has nightmares, she needs to feel garrus close to her when it becomes too much and needs to let her tears out a kisser: she finds it agreeable, but when she was young her hookups really went straight to the point, so if there’s no kissing it’s okay too (and it took time to get used to it with garrus so it’s fine) scared easily: yes, she’s still jittery sometimes and on her guards still even on the normandy, also she’s constantly anxious about loosing her shit in front of everybody jealous easily: not jealous as she’s angry and possessive in love matters, but envious of people managing to be at peace with the world and themselves dominant: yes submissive: no in love: it was complicated to admit it but yes single: no

RANDOM QUESTIONS (tw for self harm/suicide mention) have they harmed themselves: she punched walls until she bled heavily and her bones broke thought of suicide: often before therapy was effective attempted suicide: she tried right after mindoir and akuze but stopped before it was too late wanted to kill someone: often after mindoir and even if she managed to get a hold onto her anger issues eventually she still wants to kill have / had a job: she’s a soldier, she never knew anything else have any fears: loosing her loved ones, leading her crew to their death, everyone seeing how vulnerable she is

FAMILY sibling(s): big sister who died on mindoir, miranda is the closest she has now parent(s): died on mindoir. anderson, chakwas and wrex are her parental figures now children: can’t have biological children. she really considered grunt as her son and had some talks about adopting with garrus significant other: garrus vakarian pet(s): carrot, her space hamster, she better not talk about her experience with the fishies

#oc: avery #oc talk #i really need to gif her more and also her romance with garrus #tagged

[justafewsmallsteps]

Okay, with the new series announcement, I’ve finally been inspired to finish off this artwork and story that I’ve been sitting on for years. Call it a goodbye to my headcanon kids because now we have the real deal!!! 

Title: The Golden Girl 

Word Count:

3576

Rating

: G+

Let it be known that Mizuki adored her father. Anyone could tell by the way she followed him around and tried to copy his actions. 

She had his temperament and lack of patience, but in a cuter way (for now). Her big, shiny, golden eyes were just like his, and the black ears atop her head swiveled around just as his did. She loved it. She loved being just like him in every way she could; going around picking up big sticks to swing like her own Tessaiga. 

She looked up to him so much, it made Inuyasha’s heart ache. It did come with some new, dangerous territory though. For instance, he had one hell of a time trying to watch his vocabulary once Mizuki started speaking. He’d never forget the dagger of a glare that Kagome sent his way when their daughter babbled her first, “Damet” after dropping her snack. He thought he would be skinned on the spot. 

“She’s going to copy anything you do, so you have to be more careful!” Kagome chastised. 

“Why me?” Inuyasha asked in a grumbled whine. “She should be looking up to you! You’re her mother, ain’t ya?” 

Kagome frowned. “Mizuki thinks the world of you.” Her expression softened. “That’s what daughters do when they love their dad.” 

A pang of guilt seized his chest. In flashes he remembered another time and place, photographs and a stick of incense at the shrine tucked away in a private room; a young man with Kagome’s eyes. It was something that she didn’t talk about often, but her father’s loss still shook her sometimes. He took in Kagome’s glassy eyes and the pink flooding her nose. He reached around to hold his wife in his arms. “Okay,” Inuyasha mumbled as he kissed the top of her head. “You win. I’ll watch out.” 

So he proceeded with caution, tried to hold his tongue from cursing, and he did his damn best to be more patient than he’d ever thought possible. All for their family, for his wife, for his daughter. 

He never thought of himself as a role model. 

He used to think he was a freak.

But then Kagome came around, and then he had friends. He found a place in the world that accepted him as he was, and he held onto her with a fierce protectiveness. He even let her go once and was forced to find peace within loneliness. He did it for her, because even if he never saw her again, he’d love her. He’d live for her even without her there. 

But then by some miracle Kagome came back. The world was right. He belonged, they got married, and they were a family all on their own.  He didn’t think life could get better honestly. Then they had their first kid. When Mizuki was born, Inuyasha was sure that he’d never seen anything more precious in his life. He loved the dark ears atop her raven-haired head, and he nearly melted the first time she opened her honey-colored eyes. She was an existence made up of his and Kagome’s love. 

He wished she didn’t take so much after him though. She was just shy of passing for normal… 

“So beautiful,” Kagome had whispered, instantly washing away his fears and doubts. “Just like her dad.” 

Beautiful, huh? He hoped that someone would love his daughter like Kagome loved him. He also hoped that day was very far away, he thought warily. For now, he would make sure that his kid felt good about herself. He would never let Mizuki think of herself as a monster or a weirdo. He’d do his damnedest to build her confidence and surround her with love. 

And it worked out pretty well. Maybe too well if her ego was anything like his own. 

Mizuki really did love everything she had in common with her father. When they both heard a sound and turned the same way, she’d puff up with pride. “Mizuki hears it too!” she’d exclaim gleefully, making a point to wiggle her ears. 

It always made him grin. 

He never thought there could be a downside to her adoration. She loved him, she loved herself; everything was good. 

Then Shouya was born. 

Shouya, his son, who did not have his ears or his eyes. He actually looked a lot like Kagome, Inuyasha thought fondly. He had his mother’s nose, her human ears, even her adorable puffy cheeks. The one thing that made Shouya anything like Inuyasha was his distinctly silver colored hair. Yet somehow, despite being almost the opposite of his daughter, he was equally as perfect. Inuyasha had thought it was impossible to love anyone more than Kagome, and then Mizuki, and yet somehow his capacity for love simply grew as soon as he witnessed his son. 

And when Mizuki, at just five years old, laid her pretty, amber eyes on her brother... she burst into tears! Kagome was still bedridden and recovering, so Inuyasha flew into action. He tried to calm her down but she was inconsolable, and her crying triggered Shouya to follow. 

With two wailing children, Inuyasha and Kagome were immediately set to high stress mode. It was not the cute first meeting between new siblings that they had anticipated, dreamt about, planned for when Kagome was still waddling around as she told Mizuki all about being a big sister. 

Instead she cried. A lot. Loudly. 

Inuyasha had to pick up his distraught daughter and take her outside. 

“Kiddo, what’s wrong?” He asked, shifting her a little in his arms. 

Mizuki rubbed at the tears on her face and clutched to her father’s shoulders. Unable to form words past her sobs, she grabbed fistfuls of his hair and tugged, but Inuyasha didn’t pay any attention to the pain. Instead he did his best to soothe her, patting her back until she was reduced to hiccups. That night she cried and sniffled herself to sleep, leaving two very anxious parents. Thankfully Shouya slept soundly. 

It took a week of grouchiness and tantrums before anything productive happened. Inuyasha whined to his recovering wife about his daughter’s poor attitude and lack of communication. Kagome simply laughed at him. “Now you know what it’s like dealing with you.” 

Indignant, he scowled, “She’s a child!” 

“At least she has an excuse,” Kagome retorted cutely. 

Inuyasha would’ve been more upset, but having her humor back was a relief to him. She’d been exhausted and bedrested for the end of her pregnancy. Kaede had assured him that she’d be fine, but it still made him anxious to see her so putout. Shouya came out a fat, healthy baby, but even then Kagome didn’t get much time to relax. The newborn was up at odd hours and constantly hungry. It was the least Inuyasha could do to try taking care of Mizuki, though he hadn’t anticipated her moodiness. 

Whenever they were out of the house and away, she seemed to relax, but otherwise his girl was totally uncooperative. Miroku and Sango figured that she didn’t like sharing the attention. It was something they dealt with in the early days with their own twin girls. They shrugged and gave him their sympathy, but otherwise couldn’t offer much advice except for him to be patient and try to talk to her. 

The problem was Mizuki didn’t want to talk. As soon as he mentioned her brother she’d have a fit. Admittedly, he joked dryly to himself, he felt the same way about his own brother for a long time. The feeling had been mutual, probably. 

But Sesshoumaru was an asshole, and Shouya was barely eight days-old. 

Inuyasha sniffed the air as the wind passed them by. Kagome was waiting for them. “Kiddo, the sun’s getting low. We gotta go home to Mama.” 

Mizuki didn’t look up from her spot on the ground making leaf huts. “I don’t want to.” 

“There’s dinner at home.” 

“I’m okay.” 

He wondered how to persuade her. “Papa’s getting real hungry though. I might fall over if I don’t eat!” 

“Papa can fish,” she replied with no mercy. 

“So we’ll never go home again? I’ll never see Mama again?” 

She seemed to consider that. “Mama can visit us, but leave the baby.” 

Inuyasha folded his arms. “That’s your brother, ‘Zuki.” 

“I don't care. I don’t like him.” 

“So you won’t go home unless we get rid of your brother?” 

“Maybe Mama can put him back in her tummy.” 

He snorted. “That’s probably going to hurt your mother.”

“Then give him away to someone who wants a new baby. Far away.” She seemed set, and if Inuyasha knew anything about his daughter, it was that her stubbornness rivaled her parents’. Yikes. At least that was only half his fault. 

He figured lying would get him farther than arguing for now. It’d get him home at least. “Okay. We’ll tell Mama to leave the baby because you don’t like him. Then you’ll let us go home and eat? I can smell the food. Smells good. Can you smell it, little one?” 

Mizuki wrinkled her nose and sniffed the air. 

“I smell it too, like Papa! It does smell good!” she agreed with enthusiasm, but Inuyasha smirked. She had to be lying. They were far away enough that Inuyasha knew she’d have trouble picking out the scent, but she was always trying so hard to keep up with him. He decided to humor her. 

“You smell the stew?” 

“Yes!” 

“Wow, I’m so impressed. Let’s go get some. I’m starving!” He knelt down and opened his arms wide for her. When she barreled into his arms he was reminded of his great, unending love for her. He spun her around and squeezed her squirmy body as she giggled, then dipped her over to attack her face with kisses. 

“Papa, let’s go!” 

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.” He shot off with his usual pace when carrying his daughter. She liked to feel the bounce of his steps, laughing her way as they went up then down. It was slower than his run, but way more fun. He figured he should put her in the best mood possible when they broke the news that they were going to have to keep her brother around. 

“We’re home,” Inuyasha announced as they entered. 

Kagome was standing near the futon, rocking the baby in her arms gently. 

“Good timing. Shouya just had dinner and just fell asleep.” 

“I’m envious. Sounds like a good life,” he joked. 

Mizuki tugged on his arm. “Papa.” 

Right. 

“So Kagome, I have some bad news.” When she looked at him confused, he made sure to emote that everything was fine. He liked how easily they communicated. 

“Oh yeah?” she goaded. 

“Yup. Looks like we’ll have to get rid of the new baby.” 

“Oh no! That’s so sad. Why’s that?” 

Mizuki squirmed around and pulled her father’s face down. “Papa!” she whispered with urgency. 

He held up a finger, motioning for Kagome to hang on. She gave him a smile to show her amusement. He missed her face today. He hasn’t seen enough of her while he was out distracting their daughter. Speaking of which… 

“What’s up, kiddo?” 

She cupped her small hands around her mouth to relay her secret message. “Tell Mama you don’t want the baby! Don’t tell her I don’t want him.” 

“Mizuki, I’m not going to lie to Mama. You’re the one who wants him gone, so you should tell her,” he whispered back. He lifted his head back to Kagome, assuming she must have at least heard some of their conversation. “Mama, Mizuki has something to tell you,” Inuyasha proclaimed, full-well knowing he was throwing her under the bus. Poor thing. 

The girl seemed to go red in his arms, suddenly panicked as she faced the most intimidating figure in her (and his) life: her mother. 

“Is that so? What do you need to tell me, Mizuki?” 

“I--” She sputtered and her eyes began to water and she looked up at her father, silently pleading for him to take over. He shook his head. Of course he felt bad, but she wasn’t being very cooperative when he asked. Kagome was their best bet at getting some answers. If she could get him to open up, she’d manage a five year-old. 

“You?” she leaded. 

“I want the baby to go away!” she admitted quickly. Her mouth turned itself into a defiant pout, as if she was putting on a brave face. 

Kagome paid it no mind. “You do? Why?” 

She hesitated for a second before supplying, “I don’t like him!” 

“Okay, but why?” 

Mizuki whined; a true, genuine whine that sounded like a puppy. 

Inuyasha would’ve broken, but Kagome seemed unfazed. How could she? Did she have no heart? It amazed him. 

“Do you not like him because he’s a boy?” 

“No.” 

“You don’t like how he smells?” 

“No…” 

“Are you jealous?” 

Bingo. 

Mizuki ruffled and got even redder in the face. Inuyasha gave his daughter a reassuring pat. They already figured that was the problem, but it was a new feeling for her to navigate. 

“Mizuki, are you jealous that Mama spends so much time with Shouya?” Kagome asked softly. 

“No!” she yelped back.  

“Don’t yell at your mother,” Inuyasha chastised. 

She shrunk down, her ears flattening. It must have felt like they were ganging up on her, but the time had come for her unexplained tantrums to end. With pent up frustration and embarrassment, pools of tears began to stream down her face and she cried, “I hate him!” 

“You don’t have to be jealous, kiddo.” 

She wailed, and Shouya finally took notice of the volume, beginning to wiggle and fuss in his mother’s arms. Kagome motioned for Inuyasha to take her away so she could calm him down before he had his own fit. The baby was a heavy sleeper and not a huge crier, but he was cranky when woken up. They’d both be miserable with the two of them crying up a storm, especially Inuyasha with his sensitive hearing. 

As soon as he got out the door, he went into comforting mode. There was no use trying to talk to his little girl in this state. He bounced her up and down, shushing her and rubbing her back as she got out her tears and hiccuped. 

Inuyasha wracked his brain for the right approach. He had only recently come to terms with expressing his emotions. How was he supposed to tell a child to handle hers? “It’s okay to have feelings, you know.” 

Exhausted from crying, she slumped against his shoulder. 

“Papa gets jealous too sometimes. Is that what’s happening? You’re jealous?” 

She sniffled and slowly nodded. He could feel the heat and moisture of her tears seeping into his firerat. Probably snot too. 

Gross, he thought affectionately. 

“That’s alright. Do you want to tell me why?” 

He felt her shake her head. 

“And it’s not because Mama’s busy taking care of him?” 

Another no.

He was kind of at a dead end. She was jealous without much reason behind it. Was she capable of having a good reason? He searched the recesses of his mind, channeling the nurturing care of his wife. 

“Even if I love your brother, you know I don’t love you less, right?” 

“Okay,” she replied in a small voice. 

“Does that make it better?” 

Negative. 

Inuyasha sighed, feeling impatient and hopeless. 

Kagome emerged from the hut just then; Shouya once again soundlessly asleep and swaddled against her chest. She smiled at him sympathetically, knowing that crying was never his wheelhouse. He’d always hated when women cried, but Mizuki’s tears were a whole other level of unbearable. 

“The weather is nice. The sunset looks like it’ll be pretty,” she stated in a soft, even tone. 

“Wanna take a look, kiddo?” 

“The colors are pretty. The clouds are getting pink! Our favorite.” 

Mizuki shuffled a little as her father angled himself so that she could see from her place on his shoulder. She turned to rest her cheek on him, but otherwise kept sniffling. 

“Are you feeling any better now?” Kagome asked her daughter, placing a quick kiss to her swollen face. 

Instead of replying, she tugged at her father’s hair again, using it to cover her face. It was a strange, new behavior. Usually when she wanted to hide she’d simply turn her head into his shoulder. Maybe it comforted her though. 

“Not sure why she’s doing that,” Inuyasha murmured. “She does it whenever she has one of her fits now.” 

Kagome stared for a while before she let out the lightest gasp. When the hanyou looked down at her curiously, he saw the familiar expression of her coming to some kind of understanding. 

“Oh, Mizuki…” she cooed with sympathy. “You poor baby.” 

Inuyasha raised a brow and Kagome pulled away to laugh. Whatever it was, he knew she’d explain, but it was killing him to be out of the loop. 

“She just wants to be like her Papa,” she said with soothing empathy threading her tone. Kagome looked up at her husband fondly, taking her hand to cup his cheek. “From his golden eyes,” she ran her thumb across his eyebrow. Then she reached up towards his ears to stroke one until it flicked in response, “To his fuzzy ears…” she smiled brightly, “to his pretty, silver hair…” Kagome finished, loosely twirling a strand around her finger before turning her gaze to their son. 

It clicked for him then. 

“You’re jealous of your brother because of his hair?” 

Mizuki whimpered, the scent of collecting salty tears assaulting Inuyasha once more as she grabbed more of his locks to cascade down over her own head. 

Mystery solved! 

It was so cute and so stupid that Inuyasha wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. 

“Is that really it, ‘Zuki?” 

“I told you, she wants to be just like you,” Kagome reiterates, placing a soothing set of fingers to touch her daughter affectionately. 

“Keh!” Yet somehow he was blushing. Maybe it had to do with the way Kagome was beaming at him, prettier than any sunset. “That’s stu--silly. What a silly reason to be upset.” 

Mizuki huffed in anger. 

“I mean,” he faltered. “It’s sweet. It’s very sweet.” Finally feeling like he had a hold on things and the world made sense again, he mindfully moved back his daughter’s sagging body from his shoulder, some of the hair getting pulled along with her. “But you don’t have to be jealous, little one. You’re great just the way you are, you know that?” He nuzzled their noses together. 

“B-But I want to be like Papa!” she sobbed, pushing back. Not even her snotty nose or blotchy crying face could detract from how wretchedly adorable she was. 

Kagome thought her heart would melt. “Papa is pretty great, but baby, you are so much like him! You don’t have to have everything be the same.” 

It didn’t seem to matter. “Why does the baby have Papa’s hair and I don’t? It’s not fair!” 

Both Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged looks. It was clear that Mizuki wasn’t going to get much consolation from her mother on this issue. 

Finally, an idea popped into Inuyasha’s head. 

“You got my eyes though, don’t ya?” He asked, looking right into her honey colored irises. They were even more intense at this golden hour. 

“Yeah…” her ear twitched along with her sniffle. 

He grinned. “Then you see the same way I do. You see everything I do, right?” 

“Right,” she agreed. 

“When I look at you, I see the most perfect little girl in the world. Beautiful eyes, cute little ears and nose, pretty hair like her mother, and the best smile. I see all that. You see it too?” 

Mizuki’s eyes watered again, but she nodded. Kagome took the time to brush back the hair stuck to her face. 

Inuyasha prodded his daughter more. “You see it, kiddo? Just like me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That’s what I want to hear!” He pulled her from his body and hoisted her into the air. It was one of their favorite things to do. He spun her around and tossed her until she was nothing but an exhausted heap of smiles, and the stars began to twinkle in the early evening sky. 

Later that night when she was about to sleep, Mizuki looked at her brother for a long time before turning away with a curt, “Goodnight baby. We won’t give you away.” 

Kagome snorted back a laugh and had her husband put her to bed. Crying, laughing, and letting go of a grudge all in one day really took it out of their poor toddler. Still, seeing Inuyasha fumble through feelings and childrearing-- it all felt so surreal. It felt like home, and she’d never been more content with her life. 

Once the kids were both asleep and tucked away, Inuyasha sat behind his wife and finally held her close, his head sitting on her shoulder. He inhaled her scent to re-center himself. 

“Tough to be a dad?” she asked teasingly. 

“She’s a lot to handle.” 

“She’s just like her father.” 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes but let them fall shut as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. 

Kagome turned her cheek and pressed her lips against his bangs. 

“Perfect to me,” she added. 

Embarrassed but happy, he simply tightened his arms around her. “Yeah, yeah.” 

#inukag #inuyasha #inukag babies #kagome higurashi #mizuki #shouya #justafewsmallsteps #jelly art #sango #miroku #jelly fic

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

part two is here! enjoy <3

wc: 3.8k

taglist | story masterlist

WARNINGS: mentions of death, anxiety, angst

part one

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day two of the anniversary trip, and it’s the first full day. 

Dan and Lina had planned for everyone to enjoy the water and sun while they made lunch. You and Minny were sitting on the lawn chairs while Harry laid a towel out on the shore, laying on his stomach to get a tan in. Meanwhile, Jackson was floating in the water, letting the cool water relax him. It was a nice and peaceful day, you would say. The sun doing her thing as it shines, giving everyone some good ole Vitamin D. The sky was bright and blue, and you were thinking that it’ll be so hard to leave it. 

You were wearing a flowy and floral dress while your black two-piece bikini was under it, and you had sunglasses on your face. With packing so late, you weren’t really sure what you brought since you practically threw everything in your luggage. 

“I’m going in for a dip.” Minny says, and she gets up and strips her dress and walks over to the water. As she walks away, you admire your best friend’s body and you can’t help but think how envious you are of her. Growing up with her, you had always compared yourself to her because relatively, you thought she was prettier than you. She had always dated throughout school while you barely could get a guy to ask you to officially be his girlfriend. It was definitely a struggle for you, but that is up until you met Harry. 

You felt so loved and cared for when you were together; the ultimate power couple, you would always say, and he would agree. You wanted everything with him. But your dreams ripped from your hands the night he left. 

“Fruit, my dear?” Lina comes from right next to you and offers you a fruit bowl of strawberries, berries, and pineapples. 

“Thank, Lina.” You say as you take the bowl from her hands, and she walks over to Harry and offers him one. You see him pert up from his lying position and take it as well before he gets up fully and starts walking towards the house, towards you. 

“Mind if I sit here?” You shake your head and he takes a seat. It was silent with you two for a few minutes, but you figured, what’s new at this point with him. It’s always silent and awkward and you’re wondering if it’ll always be like this, or if you’ll actually be friends with him because afterall, you had mutual friends, practically family. 

But you knew that you were the only one stopping from the two of you from having a genuine friendship again, but it was hard enough to be around him, let alone be friends with him. 

“How’s your mom?” You ask, breaking the silence as you both chew down the delicious fruit. 

“She’s doing good, yeah. Misses you.” Harry hesitates on the last part, not knowing if he was pushing it. 

“I’m excited to see her this week. Gem as well.” You say honestly. You really had missed his family. Apart from your own and Minny’s family, Harry has been the third family you can go to, and talk to them like they’re your own. You had been pretty close with Gemma and Anne; always hanging out even without Harry, and you thought that was the best friendship; to have a relationship outside of your romantic one. 

“And yours? How is your mom? I miss her.” 

“She misses you too, but she’s okay, hanging in there. She wanted to come to this trip so badly, but her friend Lindsey, already booked the cruise and couldn’t get a refund so she had to go.” 

“The yearly cruise for…” Harry trailed off. 

“Yeah.” 

Your mom had taken a trip with your dad every year around this time, and it usually involved a cruise with their friends. Around this time 35 years ago, they had gotten together as a couple, so they always celebrate it. Ever since you and Minny met, your parents would call it ‘vacation month’ because they would go on a trip on their own, and then Lina and Dan would have their anniversary trip too, so it was a double vacation for them. 

“Here, let me get these out of the way.” Harry says as he stands up, collecting his and your bowls before going inside to wash them. 

You sit there, watching Minny and Jackson splash each other with water violently, left alone in your thoughts, and it seems like you’ve always been thinking way too hard. 

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day three and four had consisted of going out for a boat ride. 

It was actually really fun. Dan was driving the boat while Harry and Jackson decided to go wakeboarding, and it ended up with Jackson wiping out pretty badly and Harry raising his arms up like it was a competition. 

“Ha! I won!” Harry says as the boys were getting back on the boat. 

“It wasn’t a competition, asshole.” Minny says and rolls her eyes, helping Jackson safely get on the boat. 

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” Harry pouts. Jackson sits down, still trying to catch his breath, and Harry sits next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. 

You take a seat next to Jackson and pat his leg. “Are you good, Jack?” You say softly, so softly that Harry barely heard anything. You wanted to be as soft because the wipe out was pretty bad, and he could’ve seriously gotten hurt. But luckily, he was just winded and nothing else. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Jackson pats your legs back and smiles. 

You two were talking about how he got wiped out, and Jackson started explaining what had happened up until the moment he felt his grip let go of the handle because he blanked out after that. 

To the two of you, it was an innocent interaction between two friends, that are practically siblings, looking out for one another. But to the outside, meaning Harry who was the only one paying attention to you, he felt jealousy boil through his veins by how you’re looking at Jackson and being all secretive and soft with him. Talking to him so no one can hear you. His eyes turned dark, but you were too busy to notice, all your attention was on Jackson, so he got up and sat on the other side of the boat, turning away from you both. 

Dan steered the boat back to the dock as the sun was setting, so everyone could wash up and enjoy a relaxing dinner. 

You had a lot of fun. Just being by the water and on a boat with your favorite people was all you could really ask for. In times like these, you needed a reminder to surround yourself with the people you love, and you’re grateful it’s the people that are present with you at the moment. 

After the sky was getting darker, you all gathered around the table again to eat dinner. Minny made her famous lasagna and Lina baked garlic bread that no one could get enough of; it’s just that delicious. 

The seating arrangements were the same, and you were slowly getting comfortable with Harry being there. You weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing, considering you were still iffy about him. But it didn’t stop you from being scared because you’re starting to get comfortable. You really wanted to let your guard down again, but anxiety runs through your head thinking he’ll break your heart again, even if you’re just friends with him. 

Harry wants nothing more than for you to be in his life again. He’d missed you to the fullest, and he’s bummed out that he can’t hug you whenever he wants. But although he was still a little annoyed with the moment you and Jackson had earlier (obviously not knowing what you two were talking about), he was glad you haven’t pushed him away just yet. Maybe after all, you’ll get along nicely with him after the trip. 

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day five was the day Gemma and Anne were coming, and you couldn’t be more excited. 

You had missed them dearly, and you couldn’t wait to catch up with them. You couldn’t recall the last time you hung out with them; probably when you and Harry were still together. Although, they had told you to call them if you needed anything, even after you and Harry parted ways, you still thought it was a bit awkward to find comfort in your ex’s family. There were tiny conversations that happened on text, but nothing major where you called to see them in person. 

The night before, Lina had confirmed with Harry during dinner that Anne and Gems were coming and he confirmed yes, and that they were coming in the morning. The confirmation had sent your body into nerves but excitement. It’s been so long, and you were counting down the hours where you were reunited with them. 

Waking up was easy for you. You woke up at 6 a.m, not exactly sure when they were arriving, but you wanted to prepare breakfast for them when they were coming so they could refuel from the long trip. 

You prepared enough food for the whole group. Instead of a charcuterie board, you made a breakfast board. Mini pancakes were spread around a jar of syrup, bacon placed in the corner, scrambled eggs right next to the folded ham, sausage links in the middle, and various fruits spread across the board, adding a perfect color to your presentation. 

By the time you were finished, it was hitting 8 a.m, and you were glad that you hadn't woken anyone up. The silence helped and it didn’t overwhelm your social level. Being on a trip for one week out of two had left you going to bed with anxiety because of how overwhelmed you sometimes get. 

You spoke too soon as you see Harry putting on a shirt as he walked down the stairs. You get a peek of his tanned and tattooed torso, and you turn your flustered face away from him, wondering why you’re getting hot when you’ve seen him shirtless countless of times and many times on the trip. 

“It’s dangerous to put on a shirt when you’re going down the stairs.” You say and he tiredly smiles. His morning smile made your stomach do backflips. 

“Well, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be careful next time. Was just in a hurry because I heard you in the kitchen and knew you were making breakfast.” 

“How’d you know it was me?” You tilt your head. 

“Cause Gem and Mom are coming. You always go all out when they visit.” That was very true. You sometimes go way out of hand with decorations if there was a party or cook more food than usual when they visit. It wasn’t like you were trying to kiss their ass and impress them, you just didn’t want to have to worry about anything. They were your family and you wanted to just take care of them like what a family does. “You couldn’t contain your excitement last night when I confirmed they were coming.” Busted. 

“Checking me out, Styles?” You tease. 

“Oh, you’d know.” An amused smirk fell onto his face, and you couldn’t help but blush, and also roll your eyes to contain your blush. “Excited to see them?” He changes the subject. 

“Super excited. Haven’t seen them in-” The knock on the door interrupted you, but you could care less because they were finally here. You took off your apron and Harry best you to the door, figuring you would just stay in the kitchen until he was done with his greetings. 

“Alright, where is she?” You hear Anne say and you smile so big that you might actually cry. You walk out of the kitchen and towards the yellow door. “Oh, there you are, sweetheart! Come here.” Anne greets you with open arms and a big hug. A hug you have missed and was deprived from. 

“Hey, you!” Gemma says once you’ve let go of Anne, and gives the same hug. 

“I’ve missed you both so much.” 

“Us as well, my love.” Anne kisses your cheeks, and in this moment, you could have possibly regretted not hanging out with them after the breakup. And you’re so incredibly happy that they’re on this trip, even if it’s just for 3 days. 

Harry takes in the sight of seeing his ex and his family get along so well. It’s a sight that can possibly make him cry. No one he’s ever dated had got along so well, that they’re practically family, better than you. You’ve always been the one. Always. 

Everyone eventually woke up once they heard commotion that was coming from the lower level, and excitedly said their hellos and greeted them with hugs. The group thanked you for the beautiful and delicious breakfast, and you smiled, knowing everyone was happy and full. 

“Hey.” Gemma sneaked up on Harry as he was standing outside under the hot sun. 

“Hi, Gems.” 

“You okay?” She asks in a concerning tone. 

“Yeah, why do you ask?” 

“I mean you’ve been here a week and not to mention, with your ex girlfriend.” Gemma gets straight to the point. She was worried for her baby brother. He’s gotten hurt plenty in the past, and although she knows that the situation with you is practically his fault, she hates seeing him confused and down. 

“It’s fine, honestly. It doesn’t seem like she hates me that bad right now, so it’s all good.” He says honestly. 

“You two okay?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” Gemma nods, leaving him to think to himself in silence. 

The rest of the day was peaceful as Anne had a deep catch up with Lina about what’s been going on. Gemma, Harry, and Jackson went for a swim as you and Minny sat back talking about everything and anything. 

The day had gone by smoothly and too fast for your liking as it was already nighttime and the whole group gathered around the fire pit on the patio. Blankets were draped around everyone’s legs as they watched the flames of the fire grow bigger. 

“This was probably my favorite day.” Dan says, breaking the silence from everyone’s thoughts. Everyone agrees. 

“All we’re missing is your family, love.” Lina says to you, and you only nod in agreement. “Your mom is missing and your father is dearly missed by all of us.” 

You don’t say anything, not like you want to. Your father had passed away almost a year ago from a car accident, and things haven’t been the same since. It was so sudden that obviously no one had expected it, and it shook everyone’s worlds. Things had definitely been hard for you and your mother. All you wanted was for her to be here with you, with everyone. But she was on a cruise with her friends, probably wanting to be with you as well. 

No one had said anything and it was quiet. Everyone was thinking about their own memories they had with your father, and reminiscing on the good times. 

“I always remembered when you guys would come over on Fridays,” Dan starts, “you and Minny were at school, and we would agree to pick you up all together, and then come back and have dinner. But Lina and her were always so deep in conversation that they would lose track of time. And we would always hear Jenny saying ‘go get the kids from school!’” Everyone smiled and some laughed, knowing it was a very Jenny thing to do. “Your father wouldn’t complain though; always so calm and always played his guitar. Rightful pro, I would say.” You nodded your head in agreement and smiled softly as tears have made their way known. 

The crackles of the fire were the only thing that was heard between the circle of your family. The silence and stories about your family had gotten to you, and your tears made its way down your face. No one noticed as you wiped them away. But any second, you’re going to burst into sobs and that’ll just be embarrassing, so you get up and walk inside, not telling anyone that you were leaving. You walk towards the kitchen, in case you needed an excuse as to why you left. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Why are you crying?” Harry says as he enters the kitchen. 

“I’m not.” You deny instantly and your hand wipes away your tears quickly. You grab a cup and fill it up with water. 

“Come on, talk to me.” You take a deep breath and a sip of water before admitting your feelings.

“I’m just feeling lonely.” You mumble low enough, hoping Harry wouldn’t hear, but he did. 

“Lonely? How so?” 

“I mean, I’m the one here alone.” 

“No you’re not. You have Minny’s family and my family’s here as well, so you’re definitely not alone.” He tries to lighten up the situation. 

“Yeah, but where is my family? I’m the only one here who doesn’t have my family with me. You all are surrounded by people who love you and no one-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You are loved by so many. You have Minny, her family, my family, me.” 

“Oh, really? You?” It was like your sadness had subsided with anger in seconds, and Harry is clueless as to what is coming for him. 

“Yes, me. Why wouldn’t I be here for you?” Harry’s brows furrowed and his mind was confused as to why your mood had switched up so quickly. 

“Because you left me!” You blurt out. “You left me out in the cold, so don’t tell me you’re here for me when you weren’t a year ago. And now I’m fucking lonely!” More tears had slid down your face, and you couldn’t control it. 

“Stop. Please. I can’t handle your hatred towards me.” He looks down in guilt and tries to reach for your hand. 

“Yeah, well, you should’ve thought about that a year ago.” You push him away and back away from him. 

“You can’t possibly hold what I did a year ago against me.” 

“Oh, but I am. It doesn’t go away that quickly.” You say sarcastically, knowing Harry hates your sarcastic voice. 

“Okay, I get it, yeah. But you’re here to have fun, alright? You’ve been sitting everywhere, wallowing in your own thoughts instead of trying to move on. Stop holding grudges for once! You’re at a place where you're surrounded by nature, something you admire, and you can’t even take a moment to look up and appreciate what’s right in front of you?” You know he’s right. Everyone with two eyes and ears knows he’s right. You’ve been so angry for so long that you want to move on, but it’s hard to. “Please. We only have a week left, so please, just stop hating me for the rest of this trip, and let’s just have some fun?” 

You sigh, shaking your head a little, completely baffled by what he’s saying. For a minute you do take it into consideration, wanting to let go of the stress and anger that has been holding you back from truly enjoying yourself. 

“Please. Let go of whatever anger you have of me and let’s have a good time here? For the remainder of the trip, let’s be friends, and you can decide if you still want me to be a part of your life after we leave here. It’s been a while since we’ve had some fun.” He says like he’s reading your mind. You’re also not sure if his last statement was meant to also be sexual, but you try not to overthink it. 

You needed to let go, you easily knew that. Everyone knew that, so you answer him, hoping you won’t regret your answer. 

“Okay.” You say with a sigh, finally giving him his wish. 

“Yeah?” He smiles, and you nod. In a second, he’s wrapping his arms around you and spinning you. You yelp as you swing your legs, telling him to put you down, and he obeys. He looks at you like he wants to say something, but instead he engulfs you in a hug again without lifting you off the ground. “Thank you.” He says softly in your ear, and you nearly have shivers down your spine, honestly missing his voice in your ear; for only you to hear. 

“Everything okay here?” Anne pops out of nowhere, and you and Harry separate from the hug, to which he frowned at. 

“Yup. Everything is good, mom.” Anne looks at you, making sure if he was telling the truth, and you nod. She smiles and grabs a cup of water, and Harry feels a bit awkward, so he smiles in your direction and you smile back before he leaves the kitchen, and gets back to the patio. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” You say. Anne shows off her loving and contagious smile that you’ve loved the day you first met her. 

“Me too, sweetheart. Too bad we can’t stay for the remainder of the trip.” She pours slightly, resembling the same pout Harry has. It’s something you’ve always noticed, and it makes you so much more fond of her. 

“We can always plan another one. One in advance so everyone has time to take off from work.” She agreed quickly, and you both discussed some locations; talking about what certain ones are known for and when the best time to go. 

You’ve truly missed talks with Anne. She kept you so entertained by making jokes and rambling on different and random things. She was good at comforting, making you laugh if you needed it. 

“Sweetheart,” she says, once the traveling subject had died down, “I just want to say I’m proud of you. You’ve been so strong for the entirety of our friendship, and I admire that about you.” She places her hand on top of yours that is resting on the granite countertop. 

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” 

“And just know that so many people love you. No matter what your situation is with my son, I will always love you like you’re my own. I really cherish our friendship.” A new set of tears have come to your attention, and you close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. 

Anne takes your silence as an appreciative agreement, one where you don’t have to say words because you ultimately do agree. She steps forward and pulls you in for a hug. It’s one that you needed in times like these. Times where you were really having a rough day or week, missing your dad, and needing a warm hug from a parent. One that understands you and is always reminding you that they’re there for you. A hug that takes all your worries and insecurities away even if it’s just for a quick second. And you feel all of her love pouring into your heart as she embraces you because all you really needed was a hug. 

As she holds you tight, you’re reminded that you are so loved. 

feedback pls! 

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#utcm 2 #utcm #LETS GOOO BABYYY #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles ff #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #exboyfriend!harry #boyfriend!harry #bestfriend!harry #famous!harry #canyon moon #fine line

[livlepretre]

Hey so this is something I meant to ask a while ago, but I totally forgot about it until like five minutes ago. A few chapters ago, Klaus told Elena he hadn’t slept with anyone in years. Is this a head canon you have about Klaus? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought I remembered you saying you thought he would have been sexually reckless in his very early vampire years. If you do think he’s been celibate more recently, is this because he was kind of a paranoid reclusive for a while there? I feel like what I’m asking has different responses based on which universe we are speaking about—whether that be canon, FE canon, or SWBS canon. Cuz like I could see you needing to add that in there so there’s no possibility Klaus has gotten other women pregnant recently in the SWBS narrative. Long story short, I guess I just want to know if there was a reason for this specific line and how you head canon Klaus’s sex life has been over the course of a thousand years.

oh my God YESSSS I love this ask haha

I think that Klaus lost his virginity to Tatia Petrova, and she was the only woman he ever slept with as a human. (She was also sleeping with Elijah, but I do think she was in love with both of them but Elijah was the one who offered that shot at getting married/having a better life, and Tatia was enough of a realist to try-- unsuccessfully-- to break it off with Klaus, but that’s a whole other headcanon.) 

Her death fucked him up pretty much permanently. I think his whole “love is a vampire’s greatest weakness” thing is a result of this tragedy-- this was him turning his heart to stone after having it utterly broken. And of course... also turning his heart to stone in the wake of not even knowing how Tatia felt about him in the end-- was she using him? Stringing him along? Did she really love him back? He’ll never know, because his parents murdered her in the most gruesome and terrifying way possible. 

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t indulge his appetites though. He and his siblings quickly descend into lusts of every sort-- their bloodlust and their sexual appetites intermingle, get confused-- Klaus dabbles with women, playing games with consent and seduction using compulsion, egged on by Kol, and even Elijah, and egging them on in turn. His lovers are often his victims, especially in those early days, when he had less control over his appetites and left a lot more bodies in his wake. It wouldn’t be very long before the list included men as well as women, and those early years would have been almost like a kind of frenzy-- a savagery fueled by the madness of the curse, the fact that their lives had been ripped apart by their parents whom they should have been able to trust, by the dark maw of his grief. 

I think he and Rebekah would have become lovers sometime around 10, 20 years into being vampires-- the subtext of the show supports their incest-- they’re just too weird together!-- and I headcanon that he would have been the one to take her virginity. It would have to be far enough into their curse that by then all of the social mores prohibiting various cruelties and abominations like sibling incest would have been stripped from them-- they were already delighting in murder, torture, rape, etc by then for some time, slaves to their own damnations-- but soon enough after the turn that Rebekah wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone/had the opportunity to have a lover. I could see this being something that would spur Klaus’s possessiveness-- and he’s very possessive of Rebekah. I don’t even see it as romantic in any way-- I think sex for Klaus is largely a mechanism of control and dominance, and he exerts it over Rebekah, his favorite sibling, his pet, the very most. Any hint that she’s going to stray from him, or give her heart, loyalties, and affection elsewhere, and he uses his sexual hold on her to keep her there, and kills the lover for good measure. (Why just Rebekah? Because I don’t actually think the incest extends elsewhere... except maaaybbeee Kol/Rebekah... well, because 1) she’s the only girl and Klaus is definitely misogynistic enough to view this as a weakness or something he can control 2) she’s younger, and her personality is easier to control than Kol, who is a wild child and bucks authority on top of being as suspicious and paranoid as Klaus, or Elijah, who is Klaus’s equal and whose wrath Klaus is always always wary of.) 

So, for a very long time, I think that Klaus sleeps around in a casually vicious way, with Rebekah as his only long-term, on again-off again lover (although, there are probably some mistresses here and there, and probably some witches too, who might last a bit longer, or who might make it out alive), until we get to Katerina. 

Katerina. The woman with Tatia’s face. A duplicate, body and soul. She’s the greatest danger Klaus has faced since his turning, because she’s the one girl his heart might be vulnerable to. So he shores himself up even more. Strengthens that wall of stone around his heart, and keeps himself cold to her. He can’t resist taking her as his lover, of course, or keeping her as his mistress while he gathers the resources necessary to sacrifice her. But all the while, even while he has her in his bed every night, even as he’s plotting her murder, he’s seething with fury and jealousy. He’s envious of Elijah, who falls in love with her, plain and simple; envious of Trevor, even, for the same reason... because she is the one woman he wants, but he’s also too selfish to ever contemplate doing anything other than murdering her for the sake of obtaining his power, so she is also the one woman he cannot have. And he cannot ever allow himself to love her, because he will definitely kill her. And he’s furious when Elijah comes up with a plan to save her, because Klaus is also afraid of Katerina. Afraid of that possibility that if he falls in love, it will be a weakness, just like his love for Tatia was a grave weakness. The thing that was his undoing oh so long ago. 

Of course, Katerina runs, and Klaus feels this proves him absolutely right about her. 

A few more centuries pass. I think with time we see his bloodlust slaked, and more and more of his bedmates survive the encounters. He grows bored, and restless. There’s no more hope for ever breaking the curse, and so his life feels very static. He has nothing to look forward to specifically. He takes lovers here and there, and he falls in and out of Rebekah’s bed, but nothing touches that stone heart of his. 

This changes pretty significantly in the 20s. By then he’s suffered a harrowing blow. The family is broken apart, and it’s just him and Rebekah-- really just him and Rebekah, indefinitely-- for the first time he can ever recall. 

This is when Stefan joins the picture... Stefan, whom Rebekah adores, but who can be something different than every other lover Rebekah has had-- he can be that missing brother for Klaus-- who is looking for someone to fill the void now that Elijah (and Kol, and Marcel, but honestly not Finn because he’s been daggered for eight centuries) is gone. And because Klaus’s ideas about sex and power and sibling love are all screwed up, and because Stefan is charming and handsome and fun, Rebekah and Stefan’s affair quickly becomes Rebekah and Stefan and Klaus’s affair-- the three of them all tangled up together. And it’s precarious but Rebekah will take whatever she can have and Klaus is greedy for emotional fulfillment and Stefan is high all the time and having a great time having great sex so he doesn’t take any of it as seriously as he definitely should. 

Then of course there is the separation. 

I think during this long time period Klaus probably continues his pattern of casual sexual flings, but I doubt he really gets close to anyone. In fact, other than Rebekah or Katerina, I have the feeling that Stefan is the only other person he was sexually involved with that he really cared about. That’s why he wanted him back in 2010 when he ran into him again and the timing seemed right. 

I guess this now gets into the present-- my feeling isn’t so much that Klaus has been celibate as a matter of choice or paranoia or anything (although, he is paranoid, which is why he hasn’t fallen in love again in a thousand years), just that he is simply so old that years might pass between flings and he doesn’t really notice. It doesn’t seem like that long for him necessarily-- years can feel like weeks at this point-- and he’s grown pickier as he’s gotten older-- someone has to interest him for him to pursue, and it takes more and more to interest him now than it did before. 

Like, the show does suggest to me that Klaus may have been sleeping with Greta Martin, and that would fall directly in line with his MO-- we’ve seen him sleep with witches before, and we know that power does interest him. He’s not exactly upset by her death though, even though he seemed to like her-- also in line with how he refuses to become emotionally invested in his lovers. 

I do think though that he was sleeping with Stefan in that summer they spent together-- again, Stefan is an exception to the rule, although he’s not in love with Stefan-- Stefan slides into that weird Klaus category of “brother,” which is a gray area muddled in with lover for him-- essentially the same place that Rebekah occupies, but without the same levels of (faint) protection that actually being Klaus’s blood sibling provides. It’s fascinating to me that Klaus would reinitiate the affair with Stefan without returning Stefan’s memories-- it implies that he wanted Stefan’s devotion pure and simple, like making him fall into his orbit again to see if it will happen again, but it also implies a selfishness and greed for Stefan’s devotion, because he wants it focused on himself and not at all to share with Rebekah. 

I’m sure there was a wild week or two where they all resumed their relationship when Rebekah was reawakened before Klaus discovered Stefan had been lying all summer about Elena. 

My last thought on all of this is to do with Klaus and Elena. I’ve pondered and pondered and pondered why Klaus would choose to kill Jenna when Elena had already promised to go along with him willingly, obviously for the sake of her loved ones, and I had to think he was angry with her and taking it out on her that he had to kill her at all-- because there was a part of Klaus that wanted her for himself, and he couldn’t have her because, once again, he’s way too selfish to ever consider doing anything other than securing his own power. 

I suppose this takes us up to the present.

I put that line in SWBS but left it intentionally easy to misconstrue-- Klaus says he hasn’t had a woman in years, which makes it clear that there’s been no one  he could have gotten pregnant, but there’s been some subtext with Stefan’s responses to Elena sleeping with Klaus that imply that he has that history with Klaus himself-- I think the only fic I have where I wrote it without assuming that Stefan and Klaus were sleeping together that summer was After the Fire, But Before the Flood, but that was only because I wrote most of it before season 3 aired/before that season 3 promo ignited the Klaus x Stefan alarm bells in my brain. So anyway, in SWBS, Klaus and Stefan have that recent sexual history, and Klaus was probably sleeping with Rebekah a bit before Mystic Falls too, but does Klaus even see her as a woman? Doubtful, honestly. There’s something else going on there. 

I’m pretty fluid though in terms of what I think Klaus’s recent sexual history is-- sometimes like in Just A Glimpse, he’s been sleeping with Greta, sometimes the affair with Rebekah and Stefan is full steam ahead like in Fairytale Ending, and sometimes it all fizzles on him like in SWBS. 

I do still think it’s hilarious and amazing that the only time Klaus canonically sleeps with someone in TVD it’s because Hayley negs him into oblivion with her (entirely fair and accurate) assessment of his artwork. 

#klaus #klaus mikaelson #anonymous #swbs #fairytale ending #just a glimpse #atfbbtf

[dumb-hat]

Character Sheet - Evander Winsome

—————- Link to blank template!

Rules: Things in brackets are meant only as guidelines, to be erased and your answers written in place of. Things separated by | are for bolding and italicising.

Tagged by: No one! I saw this reblogged by @mooglemeet​, so I went ahead and grabbed it directly from @bluespiritfire​. Link to the blank template is up above! Tagging: No one specific/anyone who wants to. Feel free to tag me back so I can see it!

Name: Evander Winsome Age: 26 Pronouns: He/him Birthdate: 12th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

~~PLACE OF ORIGIN~~ Race: Hyur From the First: Interracial heritage:

Hometown/city: Limsa Lominsa Current residence/popular haunt:Ul’dah

~~APPEARANCE~~

Eyes: brown | blue | green | gold | red | purple | multicoloured | other (amber) Hair: brunette | black | blonde | red (ginger or crimson?) | grey/white (aged or natural?) | multicoloured | none | other (…) Hair type: straight | curly | ringlets | wavy | wiry | frizzy | voluminous | thin | other (unruly) Hair style: A shaggy mop deeply in need of a trim, permanent hat hair. (It’s Aymeric hair. I can’t imagine he’ll ever wear the outfit, but the hair was worth it!) Body type: beefy | curvaceous | fat | lean | muscular | petite | skinny | stocky | other (…) Height: short | tall | specific measurement (5′9) Skin: ashen | caucasian | dark | fair | freckled | olive | tanned | other Facial features: birthmark | beard (stubble) | face paint | fur | scales | scars | tattoos | other (…) Body features: birthmark | beard | ears (anything unique about them) | face paint | fur | missing limb/s | scales | scars | tail | tattoos | other (…)

Favourite/commonly used clothes:

~~SKILLS~~ DoL/DoH Botanist | Fisher | Miner | Alchemist | Armorer | Blacksmith | Carpenter | Culinarian | Goldsmith | Leatherworker | Weaver fun | profit | self-sustainability

~~COMBAT~~ Main discipline Gladiator/Paladin | Marauder/Warrior | Dark Knight | Gunbreaker | Astrologian | Conjurer/White Mage | Arcanist/Scholar/Summoner | Thaumaturge/Black Mage | Blue Mage | Red Mage | Pugilist/Monk | Lancer/Dragoon | Rogue/Ninja | Samurai | Archer/Bard | Machinist | Dancer

Secondary/Tertiary/Extra Classes Gladiator/Paladin | Marauder/Warrior | Dark Knight | Gunbreaker | Astrologian | Conjurer/White Mage | Arcanist/Scholar/Summoner | Thaumaturge/Black Mage | Blue Mage | Red Mage | Pugilist/Monk | Lancer/Dragoon | Rogue/Ninja | Samurai | Archer/Bard | Machinist | Dancer

Fighting style aggressive | cautious | hard-and-fast | tactical | defensive | protective | all out | wait-and-see | charge in headlong | reckless | self-sacrificing | party-oriented | loner |

Any difficulties with magical/physical disciplines? Nothing in particular

~~PERSONALITY TRAITS~~ abrasive | abusive | accepting | aggressive | analytical | anxious | arrogant | assertive | brave | bossy | calm | caring | cautious | cheerful | chronic liar | confident | controlling | cowardly | creative/inventive | cunning | curious | determined | disinterested | envious | fearless | frosty | frugal | generous | greedy | gullible | honest | humorous | impatient | impulsive | indifferent | insecure | intelligent | irresponsible | jealous | just | kind | loyal | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | meek | modest | money-driven | naïve | narcissistic | oblivious | overbearing | patient | passive | perceptive | possessive | prickly | quiet | relaxed | religious | sarcastic | secretive | self-assured | self-conscious | self-deprecating | selfish | selfless | spiritual | strict | stubborn | tired | thoughtful | unpredictable | virtuous | vocal | wary | wise | other

~~LIKES~~ Environment: forest | city streets | markets | the beach | open sea/on the water | mountains | jungle | battlefield | being at home | surrounded by books | other (…) Weather: wind | snow | rain | sunshine | storms | cloudy days Flavors: sweet | salty | sour | bitter | spicy | tart | gamey | spiced | fruity | nutty | leafy greens | other Textures: silk | velvet | cotton | metal | leather | water | spongy | dry granules (sand, sugar, etc) | other (…) Favorite Dish: Dzo steak & popotoes (small, seasoned and baked ones are best, but he won’t turn away mashed or fried) Favorite Color: Whites, browns, grays Favorite Sound: Soft, quiet breaths; glasses tinking together, machinery clicking into place Favorite Smell: Juniper, jasmine, iris; citrus and sandalwood, hard liquor Favorite Place: Anywhere he can find a good drink and great company Favorite Holiday: the Moonfire Faire Other: Evander likes free-spirited people, people who know how to relax, people who aren’t afraid to call him out on his shit, but also aren’t too eager to do so

~~DISLIKES~~ Environment: forest | city streets | markets | the beach | open sea/on the water | mountains | jungle | battlefield | being at home | surrounded by books | other (…) Weather: wind | snow | rain | sunshine | storms | cloudy days Flavors: sweet | salty | sour | bitter | spicy | tart | gamey | spiced | fruity | nutty | leafy greens | other Textures: silk | velvet | cotton | metal | leather | water | spongy | dry granules (sand, sugar, etc) | other (sticky) Least Favorite Dish: Emerald soup, lutefisk. In general, he shies away from things that are really bitter or cloyingly sweet. Least Favorite Color: Really, really, really bright greens, yellows and pinks. Think neon.  Least Favorite Sound: Pained screams, metal grinding against metal Least Favorite Smell: Blood, rot, vomit Least Favorite Place: Jail Least Favorite Holiday: Starlight Other: He has a general disdain for nobility, law enforcement and people who take everything too seriously.

~~HOBBIES~~ art (what medium/s?) | adventuring | cooking | fighting/sparring | finance | gardening | golden saucer attractions (Lord of Verminion, chocobo racing, Doman mahjong, triple triad) | hiking | hunting (game or hunt marks) | lacks hobbies | music | physical sports | reading (almost anything he can get his hands on, though he regards romance novels as a kind of quiet, not-quite-guilty pleasure) | running | scrapbooking | sewing/knitting/other needlework | sightseeing | socializing | swimming | training | writing | other (…)

~~RELATIONSHIPS~~ Parents/Legal Guardian/Parental Figure: mother | father | aunt and/or uncle | grandparents | adoptive | foster | mentor | family friend/godparents | other Siblings: One older brother; deceased Children: None that he knows of Romantic: single | unrequited | crushing | dating | engaged | married | divorced/separated | widow/widower | recently split | it’s complicated (I mean, not to him. To him, it makes total sense. Well, most of it does.) | other (…) Friends: Evander tends to befriend and trust people fairly easily, though it can take him a bit to really open up. Once you’ve hit that point, you’ve likely got a friend for life. Rivals/Enemies: To the best of his knowledge, he’s left these all behind somewhere or other, thanks largely to his restless need to wander. That said, there’s surely a few lurking in the past and there’s always room for more, of course!

Any special gestures of affection they have with people in their life? He’ll often make complaining noises about paying for drinks and dinner, but he’ll do it every time and would be slightly hurt if people didn’t let him.

~~HAVE DEALT WITH/IS DEALING WITH~~ abuse (ongoing or recovering, verbal or physical) | acceptance | a new relationship (unlikely friendship, step-sibling/parent, etc) | a new romance | betrayal | broken heart | budgeting | bullying | caution | confidence | crisis of faith | depression | grief | health issues | how to trust | learning from a mistake (as in “doesn’t enough) | loss | love | new people | new place | opening up to someone/others | parenthood | physical changes (loss of a limb or other sense, inability to do things previously able to) | politics | PTSD | poverty | racism | reconciling previously held beliefs | responsibility | sacrifice (self or of another) | self-acceptance | self-esteem | to value myself | to value others | trauma (medical, mental, emotional) | war | wealth | other (…)

How are they dealing with the most prominent of the above? How does it affect their in day-to-day life, if at all? Poorly, typically.

~~ODDS AND ENDS~~ Notable Weapons He doesn’t have any particular bond with any of his weapons, really. He sees them as tools, and ones that he uses only reluctantly. He sometimes enjoys tinkering with the ones he builds, but that’s more of a hobby than anything. 

Notable Mounts He has various vehicles and machines he likes to fuss over and drive around, but he’s particularly fond of his SDS Fenrir.

In addition to his chocobo—a particularly stubborn beast named Doreen—he’s also fond of his battlesheep, Doctor One and a colossal crab he’s dubbed St. Barnabus.

Notable Minion/s Besides Doctor One and St. Barnabas, Evander is especially fond of various clockworks, automata, wind-ups and models that he’s put together. His favorite is a drone modeled after a Magitek bit that he’s named Valencia.

Keepsakes/Mementos

A pendant in the shape of a swan, a few too many flasks

Chronic Illnesses or Disabilities Evander lives with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I’ve written about it a few places, most notably at length here and in brief here. How do they deal with these? Depends on the day, really. This isn’t really a thing he has a name for, so it’s not a thing he can easily address. He’s got a sloppily slapped together set coping mechanisms that work about half the time, if he’s lucky. Other than that, he mostly hopes for good days full of things he can convince himself he’s interested in.

Education Level He likes it when people underestimate him, so he’s not always quick to admit to the formal Ishgardian education afforded to him by the family that took him in when he left Limsa Lominsa. He’ll often try to pass it off as eclectic, self-driven studies... Which, admittedly, also played a big part in shaping him. 

Habits There’s a lot of excess in his life. He drinks too much. He eats too much. He stays up too late, too long, and then sleeps too late, too long. He’s almost always got a flask or four on his person, and he often finds that he’s picking up the dinner or drink tab wherever he goes. 

Other Nothing immediately springs to mind, but I’m sure there’s like a dozen things I should put here. This thing has been sitting in my drafts for god-knows-how-long, so I’m just glad to finally get it out there. 

[vampiresuns]

How Will It Matter After You’re Gone

For Anatole’s day 13 of @arcana-echoes​: Aftermath.

Title: From Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance (Nana was an MCR teen, it’s only fair).

Quick guide: Here you can check on the Cassano-Radosevic family tree. Medea Pryce & Leonore Kaur are Anatole’s best friends, I owe them a post. Medea is a community organiser, and Leonore a therapist in training. Althea is his twin sister, and Navneet his eldest sibling (there’s seven Kaurs: Navneet, Sashi, Althea & Leonore, and Isha, Vaishnavi and Ashok). Navneet and Anatole end up together in one of his timelines.

Dear Vesuvia,

It is with the greatest regret that the Cassano of this City inform to the public that Aelius Anatole Radošević De Silva, Of The Cassano of Vesuvia, has passed away in the Lazaret on the date —.

Taking this time to mourn, while the Cassano and the Consul will remain in the city, striving to find a cure, we inform the city that Consul Valerius has taken the decision to close the doors of the Palazzo.

Due to sanitary measures, no funeral will be held.

Milenko & Amparo

Amparo sat in the middle of the stage of the closed theatre. She wanted to be alone, everyone’s energy threatening to drag her down and never bring her back again, down to a place where the sun does not rise. Not that it matters. The sun could rise a thousand times over, and she feels like she will never notice it again. Losing Anzano, her grandparent, was hard enough. Losing Anatole was unbearable.

Her Anatole deserved the brightest of requiems, and he will have silence, in a bitter city which will probably not mourn him. Not that she can hold it against them — but it still hurts, just like it hurt to feel him die. She always knows when people die.

“Vesuvia lost it’s last honest lover,” she tells no one.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting there, but she knows she must head back, and for the first time in forever, she dreads Death itself.

When she comes back, she finds Milenko sitting on Anatole’s piano, crying.

Valerian

Valerian Cassano spent three days siting in the winter garden of the Palazzo after his great grandson died. He knew the biggest loss would always be for his parents, he had gone through that long before they had to. Losing a child was something one never truly recovered of.

He remembers so clearly the first time he met that child: golden before his hair caught up with his personality, avid to learn, curious, ambitious, resolved, more intelligent than most people he’s met. He reminded him of Vitale, his father in law.

Sometimes, if you spoke to the dead, they would listen, so he tried his luck: “Elysian, my dearest friend, take care of him. Do what we could not.”

Cassiopeia

Cassiopeia Cassano considered herself a lot of things: dedicated, passionate, fair, reserved, thoughtful. Brave... bravery was something she was beginning to doubt in herself. Seeing your parent die of a disease as invasive as the plague could do that to a person — seeing someone like Anatole, with his vitality of a thousand suns, could cement it a little deeper in oneself.

Cassiopeia didn’t like endings, they were predictable and inevitable and, sometimes, unfair. At least Amparo was back, and she didn’t have to worry about wherever she was and if she would be safe. 

A door opened and closed behind her. She turned to find Iris, her spouse.

“How is Lele?”

“She’s eating, at least.”

“And Lenko?”

“Lenko doesn’t want to see anyone.”

“How... how is...”

“Louisa and Vlad? Please don’t make me answer that.”

“And Va—”

“Don’t.”

Her eyes swelled with tears. Holding her own forehead, she began to cry. Iris sat with her, holding her free hand and kissing her knuckles.

“He rearranged the filing system for the Council by himself— he—” a hiccup, “he had so many plans—”

“I know.”

“He was drafting a social reform for—”

“I know.”

“I’m never going to see him walk around with his coffee, nor terrorise the Praetor. I’m never going to see him— I’m never—”

“I know, my love, I know.”

“He would’ve been a wonderful Consul, Iris.”

Iris’ voice trembled. “I know.” They held Cassiopeia closer. The only thing they could think about was how that could’ve been Amparo.

Mircea & Florentino

“Florence?” Mircea Radošević said, looking and sounding lifeless. “Do you want something to eat?”

“No.”

Mircea understood. He didn’t either.

Medea & Leonore

She’s cried too much to be properly angry, but no matter what she does, no matter how much she pets Leonore’s hair she keeps silently crying, snot threatening to make her unable to breathe alltogether. She’s tired, exhausted, and miserably, dreadfully alone. She feels alone in this world like she hasn’t in years. Leonore has his forehead on her forearm, and a hand on his third glass of spiced whiskey. The only reason why he stopped drinking was because he began crying again.

Medea used to think nothing was enough of a hit to fully break Leonore. He had that quality about him: feelings came, they went, and he sat with discomfort running rampant, only to build up after it was gone with a smile on his face.

Not any more.

Leonore sobbed pitifully, choking on his own cries.

After he finally managed to calm down, he looked at her: “How the fuck will I tell Navneet? How am I telling Althea.”

She began crying again. “I don’t know, Leo — I don’t have the slightest fucking idea.”

“Fucking— How the fuck am I going to wake up tomorrow if he’s, if he—”

“I don’t know, Leo... I really don’t know.”

Antupillán

Antu searched the entire city for Anatole, only not to find him anywhere.

He had gone where Antu couldn’t follow, so he did the only thing he could think of: he went back to Anatole’s room, made himself a lair in his wardrobe, and feel asleep.

If you paid enough attention, you could hear him weeping.

Vlad & Louisa

Aelius Anatole, his son, had come into the world at dawn to seal the lesson that Louisa had brought into his life: that if he knows what love is, it is because they exist. He had nicknamed him Lily because he had always been little, shorter than the other kids, yet somehow stood taller, brighter. He figures all parents think the same of their children.

His son came into the world at dawn. Vlad will never know at what time he left it. He will never know if he was scared. He will never know if the fever kept him lucid. He will never have a body to hold, just like he used to before, when Anatole still asked to be tucked in, demanding to be given a hand to tug on while he fell asleep.

He will have no stories to tell him, he will have no more hallway dances to see him dance, no more dreams, no more smiles. 

Death has taken so much from him, all he feels is rage. For the first time in years, he wishes he had died too, but he has a wife, and he can’t leave her alone.

Louisa De Silva never expected to have any children, nor she expected her only son to be taken away from her. She thinks, no, she knows she will feel hollow for the rest of her life, that nothing ever will be the same: happiness will be a ghost of what it used to be. Food will taste blander than before. Joy will be watered, and laugh will take a long vacation never to return.

That Anatole is now with her sister is no consolation at all. She’s always loved Paris, but right now, she’s envious of her. Wherever it is that they are, if there is such a place, her sister will get to hold her son while she didn’t have a chance to even see him die. She holds the arm of the chair she’s sitting in until her knuckles go white. She feels like fainting.

Incompetent and despotic rulers have taken so many things from her: her family home, her parents when they sent her away, and now, while a different tyrant, the offence is the same, worse even, because they too have taken her son.

Louisa De Silva, mother of Aelius Anatole, is a doctor: she doesn’t need to be told all of this was preventable, but it was her son the one who paid the price.

Valerius

“Uncle! Uncle! Look at what I learnt today in my fencing lessons!” Anatole was 8 then.

“Uncle? Was that your boyfriend?” Anatole, aged 9, hanged from a tree branch to ask him that question.

“Uncle!” He had screamed of joy at 11, running to him in the Palazzo after Valerius moved permanently to Vesuvia.

Dearest Uncle, he had written at 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

“Valeriy,” he had called him not two weeks ago, still so sure they would endure this. They are Radošević’s, they are Cassanos, the are Vesuvians but also Balkovian: that meant whatever life threw their way, they survived it.

Or they were.

Valerius feels a knot on his throat: he doesn’t have Anatole’s resolve, his progressive ideas, he doesn’t have his hope, and whatever amount of those he had himself, they died with him. They died with him, giving his life away for a city which would never appreciate him, which would never value him like he did. They did not deserve the soil of Anatole’s shoes and now he’s dead. The boy had given them summer without them asking, a summer which was snatched away from him: Anatole had slipped from his grip like sun-rays between his fingers. 

The world should stop without him. That it didn’t was an act of cruelty Valerius would never forgive, even if resentment poisoned him. No amount to lying to himself will change the fact his Aelius died, that he failed his brother in protecting him, that he will have no successor, no one to pass the Consulship to, and that no one will ever be worthy.

A year later, he will watch the Count burn in his bed, and he will smile: Good, he will think, If Anatole did not get to live, then neither should you.

#arcana eotp #the arcana #echoes of the past: anatole #one day i'll catch up but this came to me and i had to hurt my feelings with it #my writing #milenko #amparo cassano #valerian cassano #mircea radosevic #florentino cassano #vlad and louisa #beautiful powerful and stubborn as a ram #leonore #medea #cassiopeia cassano #iris ravella-cassano

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #393

i’ve got a shitload of surveys backed up, so... get ready, aha.

Have you ever watched the show Bad Girls Club? No, but I adore the Falling In Reverse song, haha. Have you ever purposely made someone jealous? Not to my recollection, no. What kind of shampoo do you use? It's a Dove one for dandruff and I LOVE it. It makes my hair so silky, smells good, and just feels clean longer. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Not to brag, but I've been told that my whole life. What name do you think is pretty for a girl? "Alessandra" will ALWAYS be my favorite name. If you had to name your daughter after a Disney princess, which one? Hm. Perhaps Jasmine, or maybe Aurora. Do you think telepathy is real? Nope. When you were little, did you ever think you would be a magician? Not seriously, no, but I was OBSESSED with those little magic kits you could get at the Scholastic book faire. What is your opinion on poetry? It's a beautiful way of expression, and I especially love the figurative approach to it. I truly think writing poetry can even help discover things about yourself. What, if any, TV shows do you have on DVD? I have seasons 1-4 of Meerkat Manor, and you can bet your ass I'll get Season 5 once that's available in that format! Would you rather go in a hot air balloon or go sky diving? Hot air balloon, probs. I'm too scared of sky diving. Homework–would you rather do it on a Friday or Sunday? Friday. I like to get it out of the way the day it's assigned. What cartoon character did you have a crush on as a kid? Ash Ketchum, haha. What video games have you beaten? Loads and loads. Who makes the most in your entire family? I actually don't know. Probably Ashley? She's a mammographer, along with other duties. If a cosmetology class was offered at your school, would you take it? No. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? If it's done safely and not overdone to the point it affects your health, you damn well go for it if it helps your self-confidence. Your favourite meal growing up? Spaghetti, or as I called it, "psghetti," haha. How many bedrooms in the house you live in? Three. What link was the closest person to you that’s died? If we're talking humans, Jason's mom. If you wanna include any living being, then absolutely my dog Teddy. Anything about your mum that annoys you? She is ALWAYS right. Doesn't matter what it is. What meal that your mum cooks is your favourite? I don't know. Have you ever tried caviar? Can you explain the taste to me? HELL no. What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world? The universe itself is infinite. If we're talking Earth, completely eliminated, either a gamma ray or black hole. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I mentioned Ashley already, and Nicole is a social worker with children. I actually don't remember what my half-siblings do for work. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I've been envious of them for sure, absolutely. They're actually doing shit with their lives and seem to have themselves figured out. I gotta admit I'm jealous of how close Ash and Nicole are, too. I want to be the third person, but I'm just... not. We're so very different that it's hard to get as close as I want. Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Depends on what I'm feeling of course, but I think like most people, I have a more quality experience at sit-in restaurants. What is the biggest dream of your life? Photograph and come into physical contact with meerkats (whether they climb on me or I pet them, idc) at the KMP. I WILL cry. What is a country you’d never ever visit? Places like North Korea. Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? I don't have bills. Do you think life should just hand things to you? No. Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? I desperately want to earn my own money. What type of a survey do you skip altogether? I don't like bolding surveys. I like the opportunity to explain in normal ones like these. Do you get nervous before “meeting the parents”? Yep. Do you own a knife? Not any besides your ordinary kitchen knives. What song do you want played at your funeral? I have a few in mind. "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M. and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory probably top the list. Do people get shocked by how old you are? I don't know, but probably, given how dependent I am on my parents for like, everything. Do you have any features that people notice right away? As in a mole on your cheek, or a big nose, big teeth, etc? Apparently my lip ring. What's the last compliment you received? The lady that works with me in the TMS office liked my Umbreon shirt. What's the meanest insult you have received? Probably that I'm a martyr (and not in the good way). Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yes. Does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? They're the same person lmao. Do you have any friends with kids? Yes. I feel like most of my FB friends have kids. What was the last thing you spent your money on? I bought my niece her birthday present. Where did you first kiss the last person you kissed? My back porch. Does your favorite song remind you of anybody? Just America in general. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason, pretty much. Do you want any tattoos? If yes, what? Oh hunny, I want LOADS. Are promises important to you? YES. Do NOT promise me shit if you're not planning to keep it for sure. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? Well, for one, I'm overweight, so. But if you're talking bone structure and spacing or whatever, then no, I'd say they're average. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? Who says only girls can wear dresses? But regardless, nope. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No. Have you ever had a period in your life where you were on a major health kick and you were really picky about what you consumed? A few times. Is there anything that you’d never do for any amount of money? There's a good number of things. Do you know what your next injection will be? No. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara sometimes. If you had to have a cartoon character tattooed to you what would it be? If I had to, maybe Pikachu? It'd be a nostalgia thing. You have to dye your hair two colours, what do you choose? Two colors at once? Maybe a pastel mix of pink and purple. Or black with orange highlights and layers? What a Halloween vibe. Ever had something stolen? If so what? Yeah; our basketball hoop was stolen from our yard when I was younger. Do you feel the water in a pool before you get in, or do you dive right in? I feel it. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense! When's the last time you’ve smelled a skunk? I'm actually unsure if I ever have. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Does it annoy you when high-schoolers wear Elmo bookbags? Why the fuck would I care? Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don’t even answer numbers I don’t know. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? No. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot, actually. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Have you ever eaten White Castle burgers? Only those you warm up in the microwave. We don't have the actual restaurant here. What’s the weirdest thing in your body that you can crack? Nothing weird. Do you like chocolate milk? Who doesn't? o: Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because she's probably asleep, and we mainly chat on Discord now. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Many years ago. Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? Yeah. Do you want to see somebody right now? Yes. Do you currently have feelings for anybody? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I'm not sure; especially with how I feel about my body now, I avoid it like the plague. Realistically though, probably Mom, passing by or something. Who did you last fall asleep with? If you exclude my cat, Sara. Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them? That would be my niece Emerson, and I'd certainly kiss her head. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? She's the only person I feel 110% comfortable being my authentic self around. How many tattoos would you get? I want A LOT. Like, more than I'd keep track of. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None.

#survey #surveys #random questions

[onf-headcanons]

ONF SIBLING (E-tion and J-US)

So if you had already known me I tend to keep my hcs flexible. Same goes to this ONF DUO as siblings au. It can be either you are blood related with one of them or even not. Also doable if you are older than them, your birthday are in between them, or even you are the youngest, have fun!

Now this duo is super fun because they share the same family name even though not related. Which makes there is new scenario possibility. All of you related by blood is a very lazy way to open up possibilities for fun hcs.

1. Either you three are not related by blood at all. Changyoon and Seungjoon sharing the same family name are just pure coincidence but from different ancestry

2. Changyoon and Seungjoon are related with the same biological parents but you are from the new parent that married with one of their parent

3. They both you met in young age due to marriage of both of your parent and the parents give birth to you later

4. Either you are related from Changyoon or Seungjoon side and either one of them later joined the family. Confusing? OK example you are Changyoon's sibling by blood and then later Seungjoon joined. Or in reversed, Changyoon joined. (this is for the reader to share same family name with them both)

My recommendation goes to number 3😉. Age gap suggested would be 5 to 7 years (this is absolutely intentional you will know why later) .

I personally think is the most fun one

Common hcs for both of them. I will kind off focus on this part for the double Lees this time.

• Changyoon and Seungjoon always give me the frenemy type of chemistry

• Loud af especially if you three plays game. (The house will be even louder if Hyojin and/or Minkyun joins. So is either you join to fun or rip your ears. But if you happened to the eldest sibling, you will glare at them so that they can be quiet)

• Btw loudest happy birthday song and wishes. It does not matter whose birthday was it, it will still gonna be loud.

• Once them both and you 3 gets really comfortable with each other, or should you 3 grow up together, pranking each other is a definite thing you siblings will do.

• To lend an idea from the modern fantasy au I wrote, maybe once they planked you way too hard and you decided to revenge. You bought a fake bug and then when they are minding their own businesses, you suddenly just random throws the fake bug in front of them

• I could it will be like a cue hint for them that they went overboard pranking you when you pulled the fake bug prank move. So they will make it up by taking you out, buying you food or even timidly asking if you have anything in your amazon/shopping cart

• This household shares the same universe with Hyojin Minseok and Jaeyoung Minkyun households. So you will see Hyojin visiting alot. And Changyoon slowly gets to know about his new younger brother's bff and them 3 hang out comfortably in no time.

• If your bff happens to be the younger sibling from Jaeyoung and Minkyun household, you would see them both often when they drop by to pick their younger sibling.

• Who knows? Maybe you later on develop a crush with those good looking visitors

• Lol. Sorry that i got sidetracked, lets go back to the common hcs.

• Changyoon need time to adjust to new environment and people while Seungjoon is the opposite

• If you are happened to be a cheerfully active type, you easily interact with Seungjoon. But if you are not, they will approach you very cautiously. Maybe Changyoon even enough an introvert himself, will initiate first to show that the nuance of this household is perfectly fine. Especially Changyoon, working very hard to not accidentally step on your emotional landmine

• Changyoon stuttering

• Seungjoon glaring/swearing with his eyes

• It will be a very good contrast if Changyoon and Seungjoon are weak against horror or jumpscares but you being the youngest sibling is perfectly fine about it

• Lol even maybe you are the one who kills bug in the household

• 3 of you have own room because apparently Changyoon has really bad sleep qualities so he prefer to sleep alone and you get your own room too either for the same reason or, you being the opposite sex sibling and your parents thought it's best to sleep separately.

• Either you 3 are related or not, they will be a devoted elder brother. But wont over spoil you.

• Seungjoon giving out critique in a gentle tone. While Changyoon is more on expressing his honest thought that meant well.

• Contrast example : Seungjoon will use phrases of compliment like you did wonderful job, you aced it. But Changyoon will just simply said, you worked hard then just pose you a thumbs up.

• I can totally see Seungjoon and you either helping you with your studies and revisions at the living room while Changyoon just sitting there enjoying the presence of you two. Or, Seungjoon just drags you out to the town library and monitor you. Reason you and Changyoon are having way too much fun with video games.

• Seungjoon will later buy you ice cream as reward.

• Btw if you are born later, this is how it will be when you parents brought the baby you back home.

• Seungjoon is excited to see you while Changyoon is a bit timid but still fascinated at how smol you are

• Maybe when you cried, Seungjoon will be the boy in action to help calm you down while Changyoon lowkey panicking.

• Could be Seungjoon is the type of brother who show you toys and demonstrates to the baby/toddler you just to make you laugh.

• But Changyoon's style would be getting himself a hand puppet, the shark one is his fave, and move the hand puppet around while giving light chomps, making you feel ticklish. Once you start smiling, big bro Changyoon starts smiling too.

• But once them both got the hang of it, they help out parents to take care of you. The type of brothers that won't let go of the younger sibling away from their arms and sight.

• Changyoon follows your mum out and help selected your clothes. And even later when you grow older, you would always go to big bro Changyoon for fashion advice

• Both are very reliable elder siblings when it comes to giving advice.

• I can see if you are leaning to socialising advice, you will go to Seungjoon. For a more inwards self contemplating advice, you will go to Changyoon. Overall they are both good listeners.

• Also, them both singing. I do like the tendency of them singing at home ever since you were born, humming short tunes so that you can sleep when you are still a toddler until you graduated kindergarten. Will elaborate more in below if reader stand in also like singing and dancing

• If Hyojin side as a big brother is more attentive towards younger brother, I can see this two are more attentive if its younger sister. Not that their caring will die down if its a brother but when it comes to a sister, they will be gentler

• Oh,also defo the ones who volunteer to accompany you to prom night

Scenario 1. If you are related with any one of them

• Being Changyoon's sibling, maybe you are a contrast of him. He is a scaredy cat and full of expressions, but you are more of a chill zen type. The one who pushes Changyoon's jaw back up when he was too surprised with his mouth open wide.

• Even though you are Changyoon's sibling, you might team up with Seungjoon and Hyojin to tease Changyoon a bit lol

• If you happened to share the same passion of singing just like Changyoon, you two tend to finish each others lyrics or even try harmonising. Seungjoon will join too once he gets comfortable

• Every year in your birthday card, Changyoon will always write "You are the best, Luv you!" (Taken from Changyoon's "Non choigo ya saranghae"

• Being Seungjoon's sibling, you are also close with Hyojin before Changyoon joins

• Lent from above, you are the one who kills bugs at home because you brother will be using you as shield. And then bluffed that he wanted to train you lol

• And yes, the fake bug prank is legit here

• Even though he is your brother, you would gang up with Changyoon to tease Seungjoon . But you won't go overboard,you two stops the moment he starts his death glare.

• If you happened to share the same passion of dancing with Seungjoon, I can see you two dancing to Taemin's and Shinee's discography alot.

Scneario 2. If you are not related with any one of them.

• Seungjoon is gonna talk to you alot to try to know you more

• There will a lot of cute bloopers and maybe Seungjoon passed through either judging you two being weird or maybe later joins

• Changyoon would try and it will more time compared to Seungjoon but if you share something in common with him, you will get him open up quickly. Maybe tiktok, and then you two filmed tiktok snips together

• If Changyoon and Seungjoon happens to know/acquainted already then things are easier, your sibling only just need to help the other party who is the shy and introverted.

• You might think they are both cold and distant when first meet. Especially Changyoon because of his eyes and how he looks when he is not smiling.

• Pranks in this scenario will be lesser than above. The fake bug prank move won't appear in this scenario

• But both Changyoon and Seungjoon are quite of the unexpected bomb lol they sometimes do weird sounds or weird actions lol but those weird quirks always give you good laugh

• Changyoon works a few part time job and sometimes fall asleep on the sofa at the living room . Will always tiptoe if you found Changyoon sleeping at the living room, snoring

• If you found Seungjoon sleeping, and later found out he is a deep sleeper...

• Cues you and Changyoon maybe lowkey pranking or playing around of loud noises just to try waking him up

• (The similar scene in wake up boys video could totally happen)

• If you happened to be also a light sleeper, you are envious of Seungjoon

• You and Changyoon both will never unsee Seungjoon's face as the orange face meme after Hyojin points it out due to revenging Seungjoon calling him piggy

• You will bond with Seungjoon quickier if you are a Taemin fan

• If you are more of a R&B/soul/hiphop lover, you will bond with Changyoon quicker.

• Amazed at Seungjoon able to take in spicy food.

A/N : sorry that it gotten longer because I side tracked

#onf #onf imagines #onf scenarios #onf headcanon #onf headcanons #sibling!reader #sibling!au #sibling!onf #sibling!seungjoon #sibling!changyoon #lee seungjoon #lee changyoon #e-tion #j-us #queued #scheduled #will add more tags later