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#someone tell me if im being sensitive
alchemania · 6 months
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
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kimchokejin · 4 months
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✨Stuck at the airport tag game frenzy brought to you by spirit airlines✨
I already got here an extra hour early and now my flight is delayed an hour so I've got some time to kill lol
Game #1: your color + your bias
I was tagged by @jiminsproof and @blueside-hobi to play this. Thanks guys, your posts looked beautiful ❤️
Ummm I know these colors don't match at all but in my defense I was identified as beige. You really can't expect me to have an eye for color or layout or anything really 🤷 also that is not even beige? Wtf is analogue? I hate this
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Game #2: on repeat
I was tagged by @blueside-hobi to play this 💕
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Sorry for the repeats I didn't feel like typing everything out lol
Game #3: Receiptify
Tagged by @blueside-hobi and @hopeinthebox to play this!
Umm I will tag @chocolatnoir @joon-rkive @cheekyquokka @courtthisdisaster @senor-hoberto if any of these games appeal to you! And anyone reading this who wants to share!
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oscill4te · 8 months
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i always wanna preface convos with new people im connecting with as "hi. warning that i can be very awkward." then proceed to yknow. Connecting and getting to know them.
but i feel like socially the "im awkward jsyk" just a bad idea like it sounds self depreciating??? but i know i am going to be awkward regardless and some ppl take offense which is why i wanna warn em... do you just not warn ppl and let em deal with any discomfort they may feel when you're going mute and silent? Or warn them. Lol.. dilemma that is always in my head
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softshuji · 5 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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piplupod · 9 months
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i may be a bitter little salted nut but sometimes i think about how the people with "racists" in their DNI never actually do any work to unlearn racism themselves and will flip their shit if you ever point out that their fav media or content creator has been racist. like. hello. maybe put a little work in !
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hella1975 · 9 months
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normal again :)
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cherrysnax · 10 months
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when I was a kid I was rlly upset that art teachers didn’t like anime-inspired art, and then I realized it wasn’t the anime aspect. jumping into highly stylized art without knowing the fundamentals AND with a refusal to learn them is a bad combo
#I’m noticing now that a lot of artists don’t do professional critiques anymore#I think it’s a reaction to how people treat beginner artists#and a lot of ppl don’t know that u can draw for like a decade and still be a beginner artist#ppl are cruel#those cringe videos where ppl just took ppls ocs and harrassed n bullied them were so fucked up#that doesn’t mean that artist should be untouchable#I remember the great Miguel gender end debate#where they took miggy from being a tall brown man with heavy wrinkles full lips a defined nose and head shape#and made him a lightly tanned skinny white girl#most genderbends are boring to me for that reason#ppl got mad#some more than others and a bunch of professional artists defended the ppl who did all the whitewashing n shit#but nary a word when artist of colour BLACKz IM TALKING ABT BLACK ARTISTS#get harrassed en masse. or ppl watching spiderverse tryna draw POC for the first time#and uh. drawing them badly. and it’s one thing if it’s a beginner or a kid and a few features are wrong#proportions are hard. that’s not the problem. there’s a difference between a mistake and a choice#someone being able to draw amazing pieces but choosing to white wash choosing to make fat characters thin#we know the difference. or god when nb artists tried tell black ppl how our skin works#but yeah. I think ppl are rightly sensitive to criticism because of the internet I think we’re just swinging in the wrong direction of#NO CRITIQUE EVER. Speaking of I wanna find that blog that does red-lining submissions
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anonymous-eggy · 6 months
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i hate winter.
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boyghcst · 1 year
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god i don’t wanna be here i don’t wanna exist
#i hate myself so much#I’m sick of myself and sick of this world#i got upset at Lexi bc they said they didn’t wanna hang lol like i just shutdown n went quiet even tho they drove to take me to the shops#bc I’m ill#like I’m tired of always getting hurt I’m so damn sensitive all the time#like idk i guess i just thought they were gonna stay at mine for a while like we usually do#n instead they just wanted to go home#which is obv fine like they can do whatever they want but im sick of getting upset over this stuff#n i always feel horrible and guilty when i get triggered whether it’s shutting down or passive aggressiveness#or having a meltdown over stuff idk i just feel so emotionally childish n even when i know it’s wrong to feel tht way it still happens#i just wish i knew how to be better and stop being like this#n my therapists just keep telling me well it’s okay and normal to feel this way because I’ve been thru bad experiences before n thts why#i feel abandoned and unloved#but it’s like I’m 24 i shouldn’t be so emotionally all over the place and get triggered all the time like i can’t function bc of this#n i end up just acting in ways i don’t like like if someone was acting this way w me id be exhausted I’m not surprised I’ve been called#exhausting and too sensitive and negative and immature bc i am n hell if u don’t like me dw i hate myself more ive literally been trying#to get better and it’s going nowhere i think i just gotta end myself fr#journal
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flyingspicerack · 1 year
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i need like... a fanfic helper, you know? someone to just go to with all my ososan questions and to get second opinions i was telling my roommate (who i bother enough with all my qs) that i need like, an ososan veteran on standby who wants to help me and knows all the ins and outs, cause as much as i love ososan, im still new here and there are always new things im finding out, you know? I still havent made it through all the drama cds and ... uah i dunno... I guess i just wish for more knowledgeable people to speak with i guess
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abyssaldyke · 1 year
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I havent had a panic attack in more than like 5 years but we are crying out for an exception today besties
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joeyisourranger · 1 year
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cool! just had to explain to a man that being gay doesn’t affect your ability to be good at your job
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pepprs · 2 years
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literally for so many reasons i should not do this program tomorrow but explaining why i can’t would be so embarrassing but also i really shouldn’t. lol
#i keep panicking bc i don’t know how to talk abt this in a way that makes it safe for ANYONE. it feels wildly wildly inappropriate to be#participating in a conversation about such an intensely personal sensitive thing LET ALONE facilitating one as someone who has been touched#by it directly. and maybe that’s just me being weird abt this entire broad topic my whole life and uncomfortable at the prospect of even#saying the broad words and touching on the overall topic but this really really feels unbearable and bad. but also i can’t not do it so. lol#purrs#the thought of telling my story and going as deep as i possibly can which might trigger someone when i don’t know who is in the room and#THEN hearing stories from everyone in the room — people i KNOW!!! interact with on a daily basis!!’ — about what horrific things they mightv#been through and getting triggered by that. AND possibly also having ppl in the room who think it’s all bullshit and will say stuff and#everyone else is allowed to react if they’re triggered by that but i am not because im the facilitator and my job is to deescalate. like lol#how am i supposed to do any one of those things. potentially all of them. i feel like collapsing and to say why it makes me feel like#collapsing would involve me having to explain this to people i know anyway so either way im fucked. and like i do want to talk about it very#much but also i dont. at least not until i know what everyone has gone through first. bc i don’t want to hurt anyone bc it can be painful an#and i get hurt by hearing stories too. which is like dumb bc it’s not even MY thing to have stories about lol but im still like this. anyway#this is clearly something i need to be working thru in therapy bc it impacts my life in ways literally no one else in the world sees or#knows about but i don’t know if i will ever be able to bring it up in therapy bc it is just so uncomfortable and embarrassing for me. lol#and like i know km going to contradict myself in even telling the story too which will open the door for someone on the other side to do a#gotcha. and i don’t even know what to do w that. i don’t trust anyone who might be in that room to listen or understand or protect me which#i especially should just let go of because as the facilitator im the person who has to do the protecting. and it sucks bc i need protecting#with this and i will have to pretend im strong and healthy about it when really i have no right to be leading a conversation about it or#even talking about it bc it happened to me but not in ways that anybody even thinks about or cares to think about. so lol. ok stop rambling#even before this all started i have a tjougjt related to this topic every single day. every single one. and it just makes me squirm to think#that now i have to talk about it bc it’s my job. and i really really want to. and i really really don’t
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puppysynonym · 2 years
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parents: you should stand up for yourself more!
me: *stands up for myself*
parents:
parents: not like that
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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years
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ugh i dont want to always go on abt it but i really wish extians were better at like... Reading the room 😭
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angelsheartts · 1 month
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✩‧₊˚ I HOPE NOBODY CATCH US !! .
(but i kinda hope they catch us, anyway)
#pairing : lucifer, adam, alastor, vox x gn reader
#cw: suggestive content, +18 mdni, cuss words lmao, getting caught in suggestive situations ig?? tentacles on alastors part my bad, vox likes to get caught.
#notes: guys please feel free to ask requests, i’m getting out of ideas and i don't know what you all wanna read on my blog help.
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PART ll
˖ ˚ ༘✶ LUCIFER .
you both were having a pretty steamy make-out session in your hotel room at the hazbin hotel, clearly not the best idea since everyone was still at the hotel, and HELL does lucifer gets loud.
"ah-, my love, " he whines loudly, pressing his forked tongue deep inside you. feeling him humping against your bedsheets as you wrap your legs around his neck, you knew he was close. "lucifer, you make me feel so gooood~" you moaned, grabbing his horns as you felt like your orgasm was soon to come.
well, nobody warned you how SENSITIVE this man was when someone touched his horns; his wings literally popped out in a second. "fuck, fuck, i’m so close (name); can i cum, honey ? please i-"
a door opened, making lucifer wrap his wings around you both. "(name), i heard some noises. is everything alri-" well, this was akward. "IMSOSORRYISHOULDHAVEKNOCKED" she said, embarrased, closing the door, leaving you and lucifer with a flushed red since you both literally got caught, by HIS daughter WHILE having an orgasm.
after that 'accident' charlie started knocking every time she entered your dorm, and apologised to you many times.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ ADAM .
adam can be very tiring sometimes when keeping his hands to himself, he would literally fuck you anywhere so everyone could see who makes you feel so fucking good if you would just let him, but of course you wouldn’t allow something like that.
except for today, you and adam had a meeting with the other angels so you wouldn’t have guessed that your husband had already been planning on how to convince you to do not-so-holy-things to skip the meeting.
until, you started noticing how touchy he was getting with you, at the beginning it was a playfully kiss on your neck then a slap in you ass and somehow you ended up giving him a blowjob.
"you’re so hot when you shut the fuck up" he said, smirking while gripping your hair tightly to make you go deeper. "fucking bitch, sucking it while having you on your knees, as you fucking should 'cause im the original dick, babe!" letting him talk to you like that reeallyy turned him on, just the thought of you being so obedient to him makes him want to cum.
"what the fuck" a voice made you both turn, noticing a lute with a very disgusted look in her face cursing at you both for being so reckless.
sadly this wasn’t the first time lute walked in on you both, so she just left LMAO.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ ALASTOR .
alastor tries to have the least amount of physical contact during such activities, so it wasn’t a rare occasion for you to finger yourself, while listening to his voice telling you what to do.
you didn’t really know if it was because you were bored, or you were just horny, but you had the urge to have some intimacy with alastor. he didn’t mind because it had been a long time since you both had some intimacy.
"you have been such a good partner, my dear” he praised, smirking widely like he always did. "I think it would only be fair if i give you something in return."
well, that was 15 minutes ago, and now here you were feeling his tentacles thrusting into you so roughly. alastor would only chuckle at your expressions while ocassionaly telling you to touch yourself as he wanted. seeing you trying to get some release made his bulge twitch inside his pants.
well, at least it made it twitch until someone interrupted you both, making your partner disappear the tentacles who were just inside you a few seconds ago.
angel dust was the one who accidentaly walked in on you both, and alastor told him if he ever talked or made jokes about what happened he would transmite his screams on his radio broadcoast. angel dust still teases you though.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ VOX .
vox actually wants you both to get caught, like he really has no shame at all. he loves fucking you if it means that you both might get caught in the act.
sadly, you can’t even recall how you ended up with him having you bend over his desk right before a meeting with the VEES.
surely, you both could have stopped if you wanted, but why would you even consider that when he’s literally vibrating just in the right spot, making you fuzzy from the overstimulation.
"fuck, yeah" your boyfriend's voice is shaky as he keeps thrusting in you, seeing how his cum rolls down your thighs, makes him increase his pace. "you really want us to get caught, don’t you, babe? squeezing me around as if i would even think about fucking pulling it out" he says chuckling with a slight glitch on his voice. "ah- vox, it’s too much i-" vox slapped your ass, making you yelp from pleasure as you were feeling so overwhelmed.
both of you being so close to your orgasm, didn’t noticed when velvette and valentino entered the room until velvette shouted at you both for fucking like animals, and not waiting until being in a more private place, alongside her was just a valentino smirking, while being dragged by velvette. valentino would have been glad to accept the offer if you would have invited him though.
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