#some really good memories made this year

[nightofnyx8]

2022 Greatest Hits

Aww what a fun idea! Thank you for the tags @fullmetalscullyy and @roseofbattles!

I GRADUATED COLLEGE! Took 5 years but we did it baby! Ya girl is now officially certified to teach choir from K-12! Now to refill my very empty bank account...

Finished my student teaching! Technically part of graduating, but this semester was so challenging for me yet so rewarding. I taught in total six high school choirs and learned over 400 names. It was my hardest semester of college but I LOVED it and I can't wait to start teaching my own choirs. Really, really going to miss those kids though 💕They quite literally changed me as a teacher.

Toured the Baltic States with my university choir and won 1st place internationally! I loved singing in that choir and the Baltics are so rich in culture and history and I loved every second of it.

Got into my first professional choir where they pay me to sing! It's mostly old sacred music and Madrigal music, which I love! Plus the director has connections to the opera scene here which I hope to get more into next year.

Started piano lessons again. I have a love/hate relationship with piano since it's associated with perfectionism in my mind and how much trouble it caused me as a teen. But my new teacher's been awesome and she's helping me to practice not only more effectively but also with a much healthier mindset.

Went on a road trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico with my friend and absolutely loved it. Hands down some of the best food I've ever had and got to listen to some really awesome choirs down there as well.

Had ups and down with my mental health, but writing's been such a huge help! My days tend to be busy so it's nice to have that time to myself just to sit down and write. I've also started to get more into multi-chaptered fics which is a new challenge!

My husband and I weren't able to spend the holidays together this year (thanks Southwest) and I spent three days stranded alone in San Diego, including on Christmas Eve (it sucked). But I got to spend the holidays with my favorite aunt and helped out with her brand-new baby girl.❤️

I got more into my audiobooks this year! I've discovered a new love for the classics, including The Alchemist, The Great Gatsby, A Little Princess, A Christmas Carol and the Secret Garden. Least favorite was also ironically Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer (@roseofbattles). Would not recommend, -50/100

My husband and I are still married and haven't killed each other yet. Honestly, the biggest thing I've learned this year is that you can still be romantic and laugh together even when you have no money and are stressed beyond belief. Here's to 2 years in May!

tagging @jedidragonwarriorqueen @goneadrift @whateversawesome and @wondrousmay

#asks #personal #some really good memories made this year #now to join the work force yay... :)

[batcavescolony]

just saw someone say Rick Riordan making a TV show is just as bad as anything JKR has done. BFFR you're comparing Rick Riordan trying to make his world more inclusive, changing some parts because of money/time constraints, or just making changes cus he thinks they're needed, to JKR being a terrible person!

#and not to say Ricks work is perfect. ill be the firat to tell you his mistakes. his aspec rep is shit. his minorities rep has problems #he has general time line problems. im not says hes perfect but he tried from a good place #jkr named a character ChoChang. her Scottish character blow stuff up and tried to make alcohol. named a black character Shackelbolt #like damn get over yourself. #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #percy series #pjo series #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo tv adaptation #if you wanna say shit about Rick ok. but be correct about it #how is he just as bad as jkr for not using the book he made in the early 2000s an exact script for the TV show being released in 2024? #and they yall had the audacity to be pissed when he didn't put a song about sex thats literally says `fuck her face° in the background of #LITERAL 12 YEAR OLDS in a place with memory altering properties..... thats whats you wanted. children getting high to a song about sex. #°oH bUt iN tHe mOvIe tHaT i WaTcHeD wHeN i waS tWeLvE' where the actors where like what 18? and weren't 12? that one? 🙄 #some of you are getting on my nerves. yes the show's pacing is eh really thats a reason to curisfy Rick Riordan? thats what you're deciding #this is the line? a tv show thats on its first season and is more accurate then the movies that came out? #good to know

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go? #should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you. #on the other hand it will be the last time i see you. #and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore? #im going to be alone for so much of my life. #i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more. #how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true. #sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again. #talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it? #how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath.... #i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him. #i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore. #i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone. #and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter. #i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

[cinnamonsikwate]

watching the first 2 episodes of frieren last year shook me so bad i still can't get myself to continue it, but between what i remember of it and the nightmares episode of dungeon meshi i can't stop thinking about the ways laios would prepare marcille for his death. what would he leave behind to remind her that he (and by extension all the people she loved and who loved her) are still with her in spirit, even if not in body?

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #marcille donato #i'm a laios & marcille are a secret third thing that can't be defined by language truther but make of this what you will i guess lol #if falin does turn out to have an extended life span due to dungeon shenanigans laios would rest easier but he'd def still worry #dungeon meshi spoilers #she might come across the regenerated kensuke at some point but that one was an accident 😅 #i still think he'd train some dogs to accompany her #maybe make a promise w one of the castle staff & their family to keep training dogs through generations so there'll always be a rag for her #would he leave annotations in her magic tomes for her to find years down the road? #oh and he'd rope everyone else in definitely #he'd ask everyone in the party and maybe even kabru et al. & toshiro et al. for good measure #oh and what i meant by frieren shaking me was w each ep i found myself sobbing uncontrollably halfway through #i loved it but it was A Lot for me emotionally #i do remember seeing a post about how one of the reasons himmel had no problem having statues of him made #was bc he was doing it partly in the hope that when frieren sees one she'll remember him & their adventures together #that their time together wasn't just a blip in her life #he may physically be gone but his memory lives on #that really resonated with me #calemonsito notes

[bmpmp3]

i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness. #plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english?????? #people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me..... #a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

[seariii]

Que horror

#THE EMOTIONAL BACKLASH DAMN LMAO #okay so lately in my mind has been floating a small story i made like... 6-7? maybe 8 years ago for a literature class #the teacher was kinda weird and i didnt really learn anything on that class but so be it #he also made us write some sort of journal? okay and this story i was talking about i have the vivid memory i wrote it on a sheet of paper #not on the journal. so now im here like shit am i sure about thwt? where could i have put it? so i tried to look for it and didn't find it #and thought okay ill take a look at that journal AND WHEN I TELL YOU SEARI WASN'T ON A GOOD MENTAL STATE THEN IS #OVERSIMPLIFICATION. DAMN I DIDN'T READ ANYTHING BECAUSE JUST THE PAGES EMANATED SUCH HORRIBLE ENERGY #DAMN GIRL CHILL- it's okay it was something very necessary to pass by it was an important character arc but damn was it a lot #sigh so... ill probably have to re write that story.... i remember i made it in such a way that would make sense in both Spanish and english #i was really proud of myself heh... and i think its a cute concept that would be good to touch again... #heh mi pequeña Sol va a volver #so yeah ill write down the littke bits i remember and hopefully get to draw it soon... #i dont have high hopes on myself tho #seari talks

[balladeersbell]

been think a lot about a post-canon au where yuuji takes on sukuna’s title of king of curses. of course, he is an entirely benevolent figure, but that name carries a lot of weight. everyone expects so much from him, since he’s the strongest sorcerer left alive from the war, and he feels too guilty to object.

he spends years after years helping fix what sukuna broke. training new jujutsu recruits, even if he has no idea how to teach. leading a council of people who either take him too seriously because of his title or not seriously at all because of his age. it’s years of gruelling hard work and watching the few people he had left die, one after the other.

a generation or two down the line, he’s tired. he’s over a hundred years old but he’s still stuck in the body of a sixteen year old. anyone who knew ‘itadori yuuji’ is long gone and all that’s left is a reputation he never asked for, where he’s no longer human enough to be seen as person anymore. despite the begging of the few council members who still respected him, rather than fearing him, he’s had enough. he’s built the structure, a kinder foundation than the one that came before. it’s up to everyone else to build upon it.

so he travels. wanders. never stays in one place for very long, never speaks to anyone past minor pleasantries. there’s no point in building friendships with people you’ll easily outlive. there’s no point in anything, really. he just lives because he has to, even if the reason why escapes him.

eventually, he comes back to have a look around at what’s changed. it’s not really a visit, considering he has no intention of introducing himself to a whole new group of teachers and leaders. that is until he sees yaga again.

jujutsu high has a lot of new students and a lot of familiar faces. it’s like everyone he’d ever known had been reincarnated within a couple of years of each other and it stings, a lot more than he thought it would after the years that should have dulled the pain.

isolation let resentment grow and fester. he’s had decades to look back at the friendships he formed and the bonds he created. some memories he’s fond of, even if they are bittersweet to reminisce over. but he can’t help being jealous and spiteful about it all. these people will get to live happily together and die happily together, a luxury yuuji has never been allowed to experience.

he hates them. it’s a selfish, self-indulgent feeling. it only makes him feel worse, but he can’t help it. he loves them too, in the end. that doesn’t make things better either.

yuuji sticks around. he takes down special grade curses and leaves before anyone can catch a trace of his cursed energy. tries to, anyways. sometimes he’s not fast enough, despite his supernatural speed, because he’s a little too sentimental to drag himself away in time. he lets the people he once knew, now reborn younger and treated kinder, catch a glimpse of him before he leaves once again to wallow in his own misery.

of course, they’ll recognise the king of curses. theres a portrait of him, still kept in the council’s meeting room with copies having been distributed for educational purposes, where he looks uncomfortable and stiff in front of the artist’s gaze. everything matches, from the pink hair to the set of scars on his face to the state of his cursed arms. but they all experience a strange sense of longing when they see him. like they are looking for something more in the brief glimpses of his face, something that is missing, even if he’s a picture perfect copy of that artwork.

the first time he sees junpei, they realise what was missing. it’s not even a necessarily uplifting expression. it’s barely even a smile. but there’s a hint of pleasure in his gaze. that’s what is missing. for whatever reason, they all remember that the king of curses should be happy, even if they’ve never met him before, even if their only knowledge of him before was that he was a quiet, solitary individual who was too kind for his own good but never seemed to expect gratitude in return.

they keep trying to see him smile. they do not realise it was them who took his smile away in the first place.

#thoughts #/ #just thinking…. #i hate gege he makes yuuji suffer needlessly!! >:( #……anyways in what way can i ruin yuuji’s entire existence today :D!! #i’m just into him being strangely soft for a very specific group of people #junpei nobara and choso definitely #maybe megumi and nanami if i feel like it #but he’s much more cold with everyone else because the memories there are even worse for him to recall #he had to watch them all die but at least he still felt like a human being in their presence you know? #he can’t really say that about anyone else #just the horrific process of being twisted into a weapon and losing all sense of self #but to those few people especially he felt like more than just a personified kill count or a model made of sukuna’s sins #i feel ill about him rn #edit: thought about it some more and it might hit even worse if yuuji still has the capacity to feel some happiness #it just never has anything to do with the jujutsu world #he talks to kids in the park? they get a smile out of him #he gets a job for a little while in a bakery to pass the time? he blushes a little and even laughs when people compliment his cakes #goes shopping for some manga to read? he gets in a long conversation with high school students #and reccomends them some series from his ‘youth’ that he think they might like #even if most of the time he’s tired and more empty than sad #there are brief moments of joy brought to him by strangers #but when it’s the people he’s intimately familiar with? there’s nothing but negativity there #despite travelling he comes back every year to check in with the council #it’s the newest member’s first time meeting him and she’s taken aback by how nice and normal he is #he made them all baked goods to eat while they go over any news #and she finds out that all the odd trinkets in the meeting room are gifts from yuuji’s travels across japan #but then someone talks about the new generation of sorcerers and how strong they are and mentions gojo satoru by name #and she’s witness to yuuji just entirely shutting down #like all the life inside of him has been sapped away in just an instant

[seilon]

kinda wild how you can have almost every aspect of your life deeply intertwined with someone else for years and then have all of that thrown in your face when that person decides none of it meant anything and, in fact, was toxic and purge-worthy

#hahahaha it’s been a bad day #and I am spiraling and all around not having a good time #I keep looking at the bulletin board in my room that used to make me so happy to look at because of all the good memories on it and the #reminder of there being people who care about me and now it just sorta. does the opposite #most of it just makes me feel. dread. #he’s in almost every picture and 80% of the people in the pictures in general I don’t talk to anymore for one reason or another #mostly people who just drifted away because I’m absolutely terrible at staying in touch with people #like not in a quirky way. like actually actively ruins relationships for no reason level bas #but some of them are people who purposefully don’t talk to me anymore #found out recently about one of these people. it’s someone I’d been friends with for like 15 years. purposefully blocked me #I believe because of whatever bullshit my ex has told her. she never asked me about anything so whatever she knows is #heavily biased and probably warped #because I don’t have anyone advocating for me. lol #even my close friends- the extremely few I have- are ‘neutral’ on it. which. im gonna be honest hurts me quite a bit. I have no one who #truly condemns him for the way he’s handled (lack thereof) all this and bolstered all my trust issues in the process and has made me #constantly critical of my own intentions because I can never trust that what I do or say is manipulative or ‘unhealthy’ anymore and I don’t #think I’m an all around good person on top of that because of my low empathy and all that and etc etc etc. it’s really fucked me up #but yeah anyway. yeah. they’re still on good terms with him more or less (though not as close as I am but that’s partly just due to me being #physically close rather than in another city). and it honestly hurts me that they could actively be centrists here #like I. just. really don’t trust anyone anymore. how the fuck could I #uh. anyway. im not sure if i want to take the board down all together or just take off almost all the photos on it #not sure what’s more depressing #cause they’re both pretty bad lol. almost all my major good memories from the past five years have included my ex so they’re basically all #tainted and unpleasant to look back on now. really just wasted five years of my life for this #another reason I’m constantly contemplating my own intentions these days is because I have a lot of thoughts and urges that I’d never do but #that are. related to purposefully hurting others or myself physically or emotionally or both. like. every part of me wants to deck my ex in #the face but obviously I’d never do that. but even just the compulsion feels like a justification of his narrative/view of me as a person #like haha maybe I am a shitty toxic abusive manipulative bastard. maybe I do just deserve to be alone where I can’t hurt or think about #hurting anyone. it’d definitely be better all-around if I didn’t fucking exist. burden lifted. but you know. #not sure how im like this but also egotistical and self centered but alas here we are. anyway I’ll delete this soon sorry

[sortarapunzel]

absolutely incorrigible behavior in this house tonight <- watching the voltron german dub and enjoying it

#if me from 10 years ago could see me now she'd be so confused #all she knew of german dubs was that they turned benjamin coddersnatchs voice into a normalman tenor in sherlock #but also... voltron... whew its bringing back memories #the english dub... its Such a kids show oh my god how did we ever think it was going to go where we thought it would #the animation does slay though. when the characters move it slays #the german dub sort of smooths out the kids show vibes #it also smooths out keith which is really funny #og keith is so like. im punk. im gruff. im voiced by steven yeun. meanwhile german keith is just kind of tired? #german keith has been through some shit and you can hear it. hes no longer a weirdly deepvoiced teenager hes now a weirdly worldly teenager #(and a tenor. of course. bc no german dub is complete without a complete swap of vocal range for the men) (I've honestly gotten used to it) #(highpitched sam winchester is the superior sam winchester and you can fight me on this) #already growing so attached to the german voices that the og english sounds weird to me. i am 10 minutes into the first episode #german dubs are superior!! i can't explain it!! even though the acting is so dry in comparison to the og... #idk what it is i just like how they interpret the characters #og hunk is hard to beat tho ill give him that. german hunk is good but og hunk is great #german lance is WAYYY less cocky lmao he sounds way more unsure of himself when he's delivering those bravado-ass lines #pidge is just. a woman though. it's kind of offputting #you literally cant beat bex taylor klaus at voicing pidge like. they were practically Made for the role #but to have just a normalvoice woman voice pidge is so odd #anyway the translation is also great. lance calls hunk a genius giantfart (genialer riesenfurz) instead of a gassy genius #instead of 'well‚ congratulations'‚ keith tells lance 'welp‚ congrats‚ dude' (Tja‚ Glückwunsch‚ man) #at hearing he got his place in the pilot class #which is such a small change but im obsessed with it #anyway. back to the incorrigible behavior #voltron #junos

[floral-hex]

It’s a nice, quiet afternoon. Everything is peaceful. So why am I being hit with anxiety?

Maybe I need more coffee.

#I don’t but I like coffee so… 🤷🏻‍♂️ #I just need a special little treat for my bad bad brain #it’s Memorial Day so drs are closed but I’ll call tomorrow and ask about starting something new to chill me out #buspar was a no go so… vistaril? #god I tried a prescription of vistaril maybe 8-10 years ago and it just made me drowsy #like boosted benadryl #just added a layer of drowsiness on top of my anxiety so I felt extra helpless #BUT! I’m willing to give it another shot #and I hear from some people that if your body can adjust to the drowsiness then you’ll be left with mainly good effects #well… I’ll take sleepiness as a side affect over ‘oh god I feel hot under my skin and I’m scared’ #I’m not really super anxious right now. just… I dunno #walked out of the room to a quiet dark house feels so empty and lonely and I feel alone and the future is lonely and terrible and and and a #just chill dude it’s all good #the last couple of days getting out of the house and being around people was really nice #buuuut now I’m back to a quiet bedroom with just me #like going from this living breathing place to the small dark dead room #so I’ll turn on some lights. turn up the tv. let the sun in. remind myself there are other people out there #this world’s not dead yet #it’s not ending. it goes on and on. I just have to be aware of that. #this is a downer! #things are good! today is good! I promise! brains are just stupid! #it’s a wet lump of electrified tissue and it’s fucking shit up for me dude #I need to get my shit slonked bro. emotionally. #you can ignore this #text

[oflgtfol]

quastion. if you were a high schooler looking to take the least stressful lab science would you taking physics or chemistry

i think this is a simpler question of which do you enjoy more? for me i would choose physics over chemistry any day but that’s because i hate chemistry and so all chem labs i took were boring and stressful, and i love physics so the labs were fun and interesting

however if both subjects are equally uninteresting to you, then i do recommend physics! maybe i'm biased, but i think even personal interest aside, my high school chem labs were definitely more involved and complicated than my high school physics labs. physics experiments in lower level classes such as high school (and even introductory college physics to some extent) are pretty simple to set up and conduct, the main understanding comes from doing the math afterwards to get any sort of result out of it, whereas chem was more like, actually mixing stuff and then observing

not only were physics labs easier, simpler, and more engaging, but each lab also was unique and distinct from each other. i really can only recall the same basic setup of like, mixing stuff together as the idea behind every single chem lab i did. the exact way you mixed them together differed of course but that was the main idea

meanwhile some examples of physics labs i recall from high school include:

projectile motion: most likely you will roll a marble down a ramp off the edge of the lab table, measure the horizontal and vertical distances it traveled, maybe time it also or use a photogate to measure the velocity, or something, and then use the kinematic equations to find any missing variables, and then through all that you will probably be to told to find the value of g, what is known as the acceleration due to gravity, aka the rate at which things fall.

circular motion: you may be using a FLYING PIG to demonstrate circular motion!!! figuring out the tension in the string, the idea of centripetal force, centripetal acceleration, rates of revolution, etc.

harmonic motion: push some slinkies around, demonstrate hooke's law and spring force, calculation of frequency and oscillation, maybe observing resonant frequencies and resonant modes

standing waves: using some sort of low tech version of a standing wave generator to observe, well, standing waves. the high school version of this lab i believe was very surface level and was mostly just drawing how different standing waves looked, counting the nodes and antinodes, and predicting it for different frequencies. i think the teacher even got us a giant rope and we had to recreate the lower frequency standing waves together as a class by just oscillating it ourselves

all around, in my experience at least, high school physics labs are so much more involved and engaging than chem ever was. and while the math involved in the physics class was more daunting than chem, it was such a fun and interactive class. and again i may be biased but i think, if both chem and physics are uninteresting to you but you need to choose one anyway, i think having a basic background in physics is a lot more useful and goes a lot further than a basic background in chem does. i truly believe that knowing stuff about the kinematic equations, circular motion, free body diagrams, harmonic motion, etc etc will enrich your life further and change the way you see the world around you. high school physics will not make you an expert but it can certainly make observing patterns in life and how the natural world operates a lot more fun and exciting

#sorry i am INCAPABLE of ever giving a brief response when it comes to physics stuff lol #ask #Anonymous #literally the only chem lab i remember is titration and i cant even tell you what titration is anymore #all i know is that it was long and frustrating and the word makes me shudder years later #like some acid and base type shit i really could not tell you #but by far my most vivid memory of any science class i took in my 4 years of high school .was the fucking flying pig in physics #i will say i did get far better grades in chem. but despite that i also felt like i understood way fucking less as i was going through it #which made it its own brand of stressful #my grades in physics were my worst in high school but even despite that i still felt like i was retaining and learning so much more #and despite the complexity of the subjects increasing throughout the school year my grades actually increased as well #its truly just like a rough learning curve at first adjusting to the class compared to previous science classes #and if your physics class is like how mine was and you all get bad grades then a good teacher will offer opportunities #for you to earn points back and that also means that concepts get reinforced in your head #so despite getting a 60 on an exam he will make us basically redo the exam and relearn the concepts #and earn an 80 on it once we're done with exam corrections #so you will get a better grade in the end AND actually LEARN from doing badly on the exam #so what im saying here is: it also depends on the teacher. so if you get a bad teacher who just gives you a bad grade and moves on #then like. the class will not be enjoyable. and will be stressful. but if you have a good teacher then it should be fine #and you WILL get bad grades. you just will. but dont sweat it because literally everyone will always get bad grades #and a good teacher will give you the opportunity to make up for those bad grades. bc its unfair to punish you for it. #since everyone always gets bad grades. lol

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

‘What are your plans?’ Jocelyn makes a vague gesture. ‘Do you have somewhere to stay? You’re an Assassin, so I presume you are able to procure employment.’ 

‘Oh, right,’ Downey accepts the brandy. Amber liquid catching in amber light. He thinks that for all his reptilian nature, Jocelyn is remarkably handsome. Calm, too. Cool. A glacier. Downey feels as if spring melt-water were washing over him reminding him that there is an earth and ground and water beneath that ground and he should perhaps plant his feet on still soil upon occasion. ‘I’ve a room at the Guild, and yes there’s some employment. Teaching,’ he pulls a preemptive face, in case Jocelyn should sneer at the lowliness of it. ‘Though I don’t have my first class for another few weeks.’

‘Honourable profession,’ Jocelyn replies. ‘But one you’ll need to keep your nose clean for or you’ll lose it faster than you can blink.’ 

‘I know,’ Downey scowls. ‘I’m not entirely stupid. Though I find it repugnant that I am expected to follow laws and strictures that I do not think worthy of my adherence. Rules are only to be followed so long as they serve as a means to an end.’ He pauses to sip the brandy which is, when he goes to the bottle, thirty years old. Gods, Jocelyn doesn’t shirk on the pleasures in life. Downey admires this in him. ‘Indeed, I’m rather convinced that no one became a great assassin by always obeying the rules—our own of the Guild or laws more broadly. On the other hand, no one ever became a great assassin by disobeying rules and getting caught.’ 

‘An admirable, if somewhat dubious mindset.’

Downey out here with the morals of an alley-cat. Granted, Downey’s rebound Jocelyn can hardly speak. 

#Downey is like: what if I fuck my father's best friend? would that be a good life choice? #In present day Vetinari is like: I'm sorry you slept with your potential future father in law who was your father's friend #in order to get revenge on your father? #Did I understand that correctly? #And Downey is like: hmmm yeah 20-year-old me really made some Peak Decisions. #Vetinari stares into the camera like he's on the office #Downey: so listen babe - I was Going Through It and he was present and willing and all in all not the worst decision I made that summer #Vetinari: oh dear gods what other decisions did you make that summer #Downey: so many. luckily I was drunk for much of it so only have passing memories of them most of which are blurry #at some point he got his head screwed on correctly #and his life sorted out #thus always the redux #writing #discworld #lord downey

[orcelito]

quick i need another 1k words to add to discacc chapter 42 bc it is 13.7k words rn and there are 485.3k words posted so current chapter count would put me at 499k words

i dont wnt to be store price label 500k words i wanna be actual 500k words!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!1

#speculation nation #discacc shit #but also i dont. wanna add unnecessary shit to this chapter lol. shame #so im gonna be juuuuuuust under 500k words for main fic #tho series. will be. uhh #like 520k words lmfaooooooooo #uhm. im right on the verge of officially making discacc a series and that's pretty wild #ive thought about side things for a While but this is like. actually making it a thing #i want to write akira's perspective for discacc chapter 5. aka some really depressing shit #i want to write more in depth about goro's friendship with wakaba. which would Also be painful #i wanna write a ryukita side story. for their relationship development. since they are such MESSES it's not just happening #that has In Theory been happening. i made a list of Events to be placed in vague spots through discacc timeline #referenced one of them in the last chapter so lol. that's Passively happening. and maybe i will capture it at some point #and of course the interlude fic (akira 3rd year content) and sequel fic (them as young adults) #i played with the idea of writing smth from mamakechi's perspective #but tbh im kinda exploring her role in the story a lot with chapter 42 and this side thing. so. #a lot of the tragedy exists in the unknowns about it all #goro not knowing for sure that she loved him. and oscillating between the good memories and the bad #unsure of which to cite for whether she loved him or not #and honestly there's stuff even im not sure about. purposefully left vague bc there is no need for it to be known. #that's just what happens when someone dies before you can really get to know them. goro will carry this for the entire rest of his life. #and just....................... man that's really not what this post was originally about huh #SIDE FICS i gottem. soon.

[pheonix-inside]

Decided that one day I'm gonna get the Undertale piano book bc I wanna get back into playing piano anyway and I wanna learn how to read sheet music better. Both for theater/choir stuff and my own music endeavors. What better way to do both things than use my special interest as a motivator.

Also I like showing off and knowing how to play a song on an instrument is really satisfying (I know this both from the few songs I do know how to play on the piano and my recent attempts at playing the ukulele).

Plus my family owns like three pianos at this point it's not like I wouldn't be able to learn.

#we have a cheap but decent electric piano my parents bought for my brother and i to practice with when we still took lessons #and my dad like a year ago either got for free or for really cheap a secondhand piano that's a little out of tune but still good #and my dad made sure to get my grandma's piano after she passed away which i have a lot of emotional attachment to so im very relieved #it's not at our house yet but he's gonna get some piano movers to bring it sometime #that piano is the first one i ever remember playing on. the first song i learned to play my grandma taught me with that piano. #there's a lot of memories #oh also fun fact my stepdad got me a ukulele for christmas so i've been playing that a lot recently #it's awesome #i love music #i /gen wanna be a musician one day in some kind of way. not necessarily as a career but for fun and as a nice outlet #i already write song lyrics so it'd be awesome to have instrumentals for them #who knows maybe i'll release music some day #hopefully #ramble in the tags sorry

[strawbabycowboy]

will i ever be comfortable talking with my family abt the women/non men i date

#the answer is no #my dad would stop breathing and my mom would prob make a really shitty comment #my older sister and brother are chill actually #but my other sister idk I don’t trust her lol #she has been weird abt it in the past and has made vague references t her being no but never says it #but basing it on her reaction to 17/18 year old me coming out and going to pride 🤢🤮 #she was pretty not good abt it lmao #she wouldn’t go to pride bc she didn’t want to be uncomfortable! #idk obvs have some sort of trauma associated w that #i buried the memory of my mom talking to me abt it and remembered the other day and immediately wanted to melt into the floor #like 🤡🤡🤡🤡 #these bitches rlly are not allies!!!! #personal

[infizero]

gawddddd i love him i love him so much

#serena.txt #pksp reread #ruby & sapphire reread #i keep comparing how he looks here and how he looks in oras. as much as i dislike the oras chapter (from memory. subject to change #once i reread it for the first time in years) i do like how ruby is drawn in it. the difference between then and now is like. #his hair getting longer and stuff he just looks more feminine in oras appearance-wise. more happy with himself. which makes me happy #personally i would take it further (giving him a non ugly ass outfit that actually matches his fashionista personality) but i still #appreciate what we get. and ofc ive always understood that the characters have to abide by their gameverse counterpart's outfits #even when they dont match up personality wise. (cough cough blue crystal ruby sapphire) #but yeah idk. i just like imagining ruby and sapphire getting to be more comfortable presentation-wise once they're older ^_^ #i actually drew up some oras redesign concepts a bit ago in class. i might get around to actually finalizing and coloring those sometime #spoiler alert i put ruby in a fashionable tracksuit. something that looks good while still being practical #sapphire's fit i didnt really change much just made her shorts longer and baggier and changed her bow to more of a bandana #like it was originally. though i might end up taking more inspo from one of her earlier outfits which i really like. the blue one