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crqstalite · 10 months

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[1] so much (for) stardust —

I feel like something bad has stretched out over and over again Until I'm creased and I'm about to break down the middle Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah

In the aftermath of Meridian and the fight against the Archon, the crew of the Tempest finds their footing in Andromeda. Being pathfinder never came with a manual, but with six races depending on the young Talis Ryder to find them all a home, she wishes for one more every day. Not to mention trying to keep them from being at each others throats, a whirlwind romance, a brother who's turning out to be more trouble than he's worth and a plot against the Nexus, something's got to give.

And Talis is afraid it might be her.

A collection of stories about Pathfinder Ryder as she discovers herself and the cluster amid the political upheaval of an adolescent galaxy.

[set post-mass effect andromeda.] [female ryder/jaal ama darav, male ryder/cora harper]

chapter specific warnings: vomit mention, general sickness. whump.

February 25th, 2821 [1 year and 11 months since arrival to Andromeda] - Nexus Wards.

Logs: Mateo Sirius Ryder-Lucero

Mateo has thought about how this conversation would go at least three or four times since he left the Nexus nursery center, and it’s weighing him down more and more the closer he gets to Talis’ apartment. He only really has so many options and so far, the lint in his pockets and the hair product sticking to his fingers do not hold the answers that he needs. She’s pissed at him (rightfully so), as far as he knows, still hasn’t spoken to Cora after she overrode her order back on Voeld (arguably rightfully so), and the lack of having emotional stability through Jaal being gone had everyone on the Tempest walking on eggshells.

(He cannot wait for his future brother-in-law to get back. The sooner he can either get to her or get her to visit Lexi for a psych eval, the sooner everyone would be happy -- Talis included)

Whether he disagreed with her or not (he did) right now he needed to apologize. Just so he didn’t make everything worse than it already was. So after he'd dropped Ahri off with one of the attendants, he'd quickly made the trek out to the Nexus Presidium, considering both exactly what he was apologizing for (probably for insubordination and generally being a bit of a dick), and considering how she'd respond (probably not well). Little fires everywhere that he'd been ignoring for too long, too quick to get off of med-watch to realize his sister was drowning in responsibilities she wasn’t prepared for. Almost two years out from when they'd arrived in Andromeda, and regardless of her titles, Talis was still only twenty four. Same as him. Neither of them with any major 'leading' experience (they'd both held jobs on the Citadel like any other teenager, but. Well. False equivalent), and neither of them had done anything like this. The only other Pathfinder that had the necessary experience to be leading anyone was Raeka (he thinks that was her name), but everyone turned to his sister for help.

Talis only had so much help to give. Only had so much advice lying around before she was forced to say she didn't know, and if there was one thing his incredibly driven sister was horrible at, it was saying she didn't know how to do something.

Her newly discovered short fuse however was likely the direct consequence of this. He remains unsurprised, but her blowing up at him after the Tempest had rescued him from Voeld was new. And he wasn't exactly sure if he liked this new side of her. He was glad she wasn't as shy anymore, probably a good trait to shed as a Pathfinder, but perhaps he was just a smidge afraid of her now.

He probably hadn’t helped adding to her mounds of problems and causing her a shitton of stress on top of it. Who knew most people didn’t enjoy high stakes rescue missions in the middle of blizzards to find their twin brother when he wasn’t ever supposed to leave the station?

(According to Cora, most people knew this already. Go figure.)

When he buzzes the door to her apartment, she doesn’t answer immediately. Unusual for her, she usually came to the door as soon as she was able or would buzz him in at least. Frosty then. Ok. He could work with frosty.

(He should've brought food -- his mother would hit him upside the head with a sandal if she were awake.)

He rocks back and forth on his heels, considering whether he should come back later. She could still be in her meeting with Kandros and Addison from earlier, God knew those usually ran long. But he didn't really want to run all the way back to operations, and he imagines he'd look horribly pathetic waiting for her outside her apartment door like a lost puppy.

Which...is a weird way to refer to himself. Still the mental image works, but if he has to play the part of pathetic younger brother to get back on her good side, then so be it. He wasn't exactly above it at least.

He waits a few more minutes, checking the time, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket. He reaches the end of his hoodie string into his mouth, typing off a message to his sister before his SAM implant buzzes to life in his ear.

“SAM?” He asks around the endcap, “Where’s Talis?”

"Talis' implant has been dysfunctional for some time now. I have been primarily focused upon keeping her both conscious and stable. While my systems did not go dark, I am in a brief moment of human 'clarity'."

"What?" Mateo chews on the fabric, heart stopping and starting again as he processes the information, "Why would her implant be in the fritz? I mean, I know she took a hit or two on Voeld, but --"

"Mateo, we do not have long," SAM continues, and while he's incapable of changing his tone of voice, Mateo does not like the way he's enunciating his words, "Talis has been made gravely ill. Her interior systems are deteriorating as we speak."

"What?" Mateo asks again, this time spitting out the hoodie string, "Injured? Shit, SAM where is she?"

The door slides open before him and he rushes inside. He does a sweeping glance of the apartment, the kitchen empty and almost barren, her bedroom empty with only a few scattered pieces of clothing to even clue him in she may be home somewhere. Not in the bathroom, though the medicine cabinet is strewn open, with a bottle of painkillers left uncapped on the counter. A bucket lies on it’s side on the tile, water spilling out of it. Considering it hasn't dried yet, this was still recent.

His heart is racing as he doubles back, scanning the ground. Tile, tile, tile. He's beginning to hyperventilate almost, calling her name a few times. She doesn't answer, and he runs around a corner into her office fast enough to smack his hand against it. No one. Then he darts into the living room, catching a glimpse of the dirty blonde hair of his sister laid out in the middle, curled in on herself.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit..." Mateo mutters under his breath, pushing the coffee table out of the way, dropping to his knees to roll her over, carefully cradling her in an arm, "SAM--?"

"I have briefly relinquished control of her bodily systems to make contact with yourself and Dr. T'Perro. Most of my primary attention has been diverted onto keeping away the worst symptoms, but her illness is progressing faster than I can keep up," SAM answers in his ear, "She needs help, Mateo."

"I...I can see that, SAM," He says. Okay, as much as he’s panicking right now, he has to do a rudimentary status report. Talis is burning up beneath his fingers, barely clothed in a damp Initiative tank top that clings to her skin and shorts that are stained with what he thinks is vomit. He really hopes the few red stains are old as he brushes the hair that sticks to her face out of the way. She's flushed and somehow shivering under his touch, breathing labored. Her eyes flutter open for a moment, auburn orbs unfocused and glassy. She's not all there, and doesn't answer for a moment if she does recognize he’s here, head lolling to the side into Mateo's abdomen, "Tali, can you hear me? Sis, what happened? Are you okay--?"

She squints her eyes closed again against the light of the Nexus’ day cycle, voice crackling and rough, "Dad?"

Mateo's blood runs cold at that, and his voice creeps up an octave, "SAM, what's her base temp?"

"Her temperature spiked to almost 40 Celsius this morning, though I am working to lower it," SAM reports, "Hallucinations and confusion are not uncommon with fevers this high and consistent."

"Yeah...yeah that definitely sounds about right," Mateo squeaks out, glancing around for water, her freezer, whatever he thinks might cool her down, "What happened SAM? She seemed fine a couple days ago and now she just collapses middle of the day?"

"I am recognizing it as a toxin, though I am unsure of what origin, but it has damaged my reach over her physiological systems. With that, it has begun poisoning her, targeting organs and threatening to shut them down. Regardless, it seems the more I try to take back my control, the more I am pushed out. A virus perhaps, created specifically to target me and fatally wound the pathfinder."

"That--I don't...when did it even happen?"

"I am unsure. I can trace when symptoms began in earnest to about two days ago, but I could not pinpoint when exactly she became ill. Originally her symptoms seemed to have pointed to the common cold or influenza, but as they continued to worsen and become more severe, this became less of the case. If this virus is capable of shutting down the parts of her body I can control, then her body likely will end up in shock without my major involvement.”

Mateo’s head is spinning, and he barely understands what SAM is spitting back at him. He’s not a doctor, never has been, but he does understand that his twin is on the wrong side of ill. Poisoned, he can’t even begin to wrap his head around that one. Four days ago they’d been on Voeld, when the Tempest had come to rescue him. They’d only spent minimal time in one of of the raider camps, convinced they were friendly (or at least neutral) at the time. But…

Talis has been the only person he hadn’t had an eye on the whole time they were there in the ice shelf. But then again, they’d been taking care of something on Kadara prior to that. Elaaden even before that. All places that’d make sense if they’d hurt her with the concentration of exiles and possibly left over Roekaar. He has more than enough questions about that, but he can go over those concerns with Lexi when she gets here. If she gets here in time. He gently lays her back down to scuttle to his feet and rustle through her freezer for ice or water, fingers stinging against the cold shock and pulse throbbing in between his ribs, “SAM, ideas? When’s Lexi going to get here?”

“ETA 12 minutes, she is bringing a small emergency team with her,” He answers, “It is not advised to cool her down too fast, Mateo.”

“I know, I know,” He says. SAM’s right, he needed to cool her down but not shock her. He'd do more damage that way, and the last thing he needed was to put her in any more pain than she already was in. He learned that much in basic. He drops the ice in favor for a cold water bottle, shutting the fridge and quickly walking back to the living room, “Other ideas then? Did she take anything for it before this happened?”

“She had been lucid up until an hour ago. I requested she take a form of acetaminophen for both her fever and bodily aches, she said she would soon. Unfortunately, her fever spiked and she began vomiting again soon after — she had been laying here for almost fifteen minutes before you arrived. I had contacted Dr. T’Perro, you were already on your way,” SAM says. That answered why the pills were on the counter abandoned, and Mateo’s starting to put together a rough chain of events, “I have running theories upon what may be ailing her, but symptoms are not consistent to what I have already been aware of. I have concerns it may be Andromedan in origin or perhaps entirely synthetic.”

Mateo tilts her head up enough to laying against his shoulder when he kneels down again. She groans as he parts her lips, sitting her up to be careful to keep her from choking on the water he’d found, “Is it contagious?”

“The crew aboard the Tempest reports no symptoms, alien and human alike. While I am not directly patched into you, I have not detected any of the same symptoms or changes within you. No reports of endemic level infections on any of the planets she had visited in the past week either. This was likely deliberate, and targeted. Considering the pathfinder’s more recent activities on Kadara, her immune system was already compromised. If I did not still have some extensive control over her and was actively suppressing the worst of this ailment, she would likely already be—“

“Okay, thanks SAM, but I really don’t want to think about that right now,” Mateo cuts off the AI before he can even mention the idea of Talis being dead or dying. Three times was enough in his opinion, and he wasn’t around for those times, but he’d rather not be around for the fourth. Mateo refused to admit to being scared of a lot of things, but losing his sister again was definitely one of them.

Talis is at least capable of sipping down a few gulps of water before beginning to cough. And with her coughing comes her retching onto the rug beneath them after turning her head away from him. Barely a glance and he can tell its tinged just enough with red and bile that whatever she’s working with is doing far too much for him to fix on his own right now. He considers going back to her medicine cabinet for an antiemetic, but then again he’s not sure if he’d do more damage that way.

Goddamn it, he was never sure about these things and right now, he really wished he was, “Have you called Jaal yet?”

“Jaal is still out of contact, though I have pushed a message through to his omni tool. Likely he is still on his mission and will be unavailable for some time.”

“Great. That’s just great.” Mateo responds sarcastically, biting down on his lip. He really needed someone who was more resourceful here.

He hates feeling powerless, unable to diagnose and unable to help. He can clean later but right now he holds his sister close as she still mumbles for their father. He wishes someone else was here to tell him what to do, someone tangible. Someone like Suvi might know what plant or whatever might’ve caused this, someone like Cora would have some sort of plan in place already, but Mateo doesn’t know anything. Even Jaal might've been better, it might give some comfort to his sister knowing her partner was at her side.

But no, he was gone for a few more days on a Resistance operation.

He’s been out of the outpatient medcenter for maybe two months at this point and arguably, he’s already been tossed headfirst into the fire. He was barely a private by the time they left Andromeda, and his inexperience is shining like a badge as he leans the cool bottle against Talis’s forehead. She leans into his touch, not unlike a child, and whimpers. He needed someone else here, literally anyone else who might know what his next move should be. Even Talis would likely know what to do, and she was the one who was currently out of commission.

(Oh why didn’t he just go into biotech like his mom wanted him to?)

“Please, please, please, just stay awake Tali,” Mateo begs, moving the water bottle back to her neck when her eyes shut for a moment. That seems to bring some more coherency back to her briefly as she relaxes back into the cool comfort of it, though her eyes are threatening to flutter back closed, “C’mon Tali, at least stay awake until Lexi can get here.”

“Mm, Dad, I’m — still here. Don’ go.” Talis’ voice is small and weak, weaker than he’d heard her in years, “Don’ leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Mateo answers back. To some extent, he’s curious what she’s seeing, what she’s thinking about. But the other part of him that’s terribly superstitious at times does not like what it implies, "I'm here, I'm here, I'm here."

Lexi arrives sometime later, he isn't sure how much later, the door to the apartment sliding open and Mateo jerking himself and Talis by accident, the latter of whom retches again onto the rug. Lexi’s not alone at least, with two others who carry a stretcher behind them. Her expression is already grim, brow bones furrowed and a deep frown across her face. She kneels down next to the pair, Mateo instinctively holding her closer.

“SAM already filled me in on my way here. We’ll take her to the Garson Memorial facility and contact some of our Angaran ambassadors — her scans don’t make me believe that whatever she ingested was Milky Way made,” The Asari confirms, waving her own scanner over Talis while a human and Turian come around his right, "Talis, can you hear me?"

When she doesn't immediately, instead squeezing her eyes shut against the light of Lexi's scanner, Lexi sighs. The Turian picks up the coffee table and discards it into the kitchen, while the human lays down the stretcher in it’s place. Mateo freezes in place, unsure of what to do next while so much goes on around him. A beam extends from the side of the bed, the human EMT quick to prepare what he thinks is an IV to hook up to Talis. Mateo hesitates to let go of his sister, in his right mind he knows they’re here to help and knows she’ll be fine but the last time he let her out of his sight…

So much has gone wrong. And he wasn't there for any of it to help. And he's about to be again if they take her away.

“Iz that—mom?” Talis warbles, her head turned towards Lexi. Her distress is more evident now, every wheezing breath she takes accompanied with the quivering that’s beginning to shake them both is scaring him more and more. Now that she can’t even differentiate between the ship’s doctor and their own mother, can’t differentiate between himself and their father, he just wants to know what’s happening. Wants SAM to shut her down again and just reboot her good as new, as much as that’s a pipe dream and would just as likely kill her outright, “Mom?”

“Mateo,” Lexi’s voice snaps him out of his panic, her cerulean eyes pinned on him. She seems to ignore Talis calling for her, though her stern look is starting to bleed into concern, “We’ll stabilize her and keep you updated on her condition, but we need to go now if we have any intention of getting her to the med center before she gets any worse.”

He allows himself one more second, cupping the side of her face with his free hand before relinquishing his grasp on his twin. The EMTs are as careful as they can be with her, the IV inserted and a monitor with her vitals appearing on her side when they attach it to her. The rest of the time that Lexi and her team are there blur into mush, as they ask questions and roll her back out of the apartment. Mateo does his best to answer with SAM filling in a lot of the major gaps, and makes a mental note to do his best on cleaning whenever he gets back, make sure to take care of what he can.

He walks alongside them as their brisk pace, an ambulance waiting for them and a small crowd beginning to form in the complex hallway. She’s rolled into the back of the skytruck, and one of the EMTs offers him a hand to pull him up. He takes it, hands shaking as he sits to her right.

Lexi is quick and efficient, attaching monitor after monitor to her. SAM assists her, rattling off reports. The sound of the EKG is what he thinks will haunt him after this, though. Talis had told him once that her prior two deaths were quick, like moments of being unconscious. She couldn't tell that she'd died, that she was dying. SAM had only given her a brief warning beforehand the second time, the third was quick and unable to have been predicted. The first, the first had been what had startled him most when she recounted it to him, her legs pulled up to her chest and almost at a whisper when he'd asked in the medbay.

She had been panicking. Had been terrified out of her mind.

Once the heart monitor is attached, the rapid and erratic beeping fills the back of the truck. Lexi glances at it, knitting her brows and quickly administering more medication after that discovery. He can't quite swallow around the lump in his throat, wondering if she's panicking now in her own mind. Wondering if she was, alone in her apartment and barely able to breathe. Likely hunched over a bucket, incapable of deciphering which was up or down or even who was right in front of her?

Why hadn't she called him? Texted him that she wasn't feeling well?He would've come running, even though he knows that thinking about this now wouldn't change the past. He knows the real answer, and doesn't like it much. Wish Talis stopped believing it.

Only SAM had known about this, and likely Talis had sworn him to some degree of secrecy. Mateo knew better than anyone Talis hated having people worry about her.

"God, you gotta stop doing this, Tali," Mateo whispers, throat scratchy and eyes burning, taking hold of her hand in between two of his own. Lexi diverts her eyes, carefully attaching an oxygen mask to her, "Gotta stop scaring me, gotta stop pulling the shittiest parlor tricks."

She doesn't acknowledge what he says, but her eyes are still open. Still flickering around the truck. They land on him briefly, lidded and dark, but at least he can live with the peace she's alive. She's still alive. And for all it's worth, will stay alive.

Because God knows he doesn't know what he'd do without her.

Rewinding...

[2] October 2nd, 2820

Logs: Talis Meissa Ryder-Lucero (Ark Hyperion Pathfinder)

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akkivee · 3 months

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it is time. stage bat time 😌:

hirono ryouta

hirONO RYOUTA

HIRONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYOUTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that’s it that’s the post lmao /j

i’ve btched plenty about kuukou’s writing in the stage but had hirono-san not been at the helm i highly doubt i would have cared for stage bat as much as i do lmao

i’ve fairly recently talked about how he defined the way kuukou moves in auxiliary media and how it brought to life how i envisioned he moved but it bears repeating hirono-san gave me everything and more lmao

like i still think about kuukou stalking up on some guy in track 3, twirling his mic and actually using it as a bludgeoning weapon with utter glee lol he’s so violent 💜

i love love love the feedback loop that quietly goes on behind the scenes with kuukou’s actors lmao

hirono-san mentioned in their cross talk that hayama-san’s 5th live performance was a frame of reference for the kuukou audition iirc, hayama-san a few years later during the 9th live imitated the way hirono-san used to bow as kuukou after nurusara’s division rep battle, and the bat actors took the bat seiyuu’s very cute 9th live blunder, missing their cue to introduce themselves in sync, and owned bat’s chaos by introducing themselves with their individual quirks in their rep live lol

lol during that cross talk, hirono-san mentioned he was endlessly amused by kuukou being tied up and angrily trying to talk in bat’s first drama track and i’m very happy he got to live it for himself after being tied up by dohifu in bat vs mtr lmao

still cracks me up dohifu had their very gay my home duet and kuukou literally went ‘REALLY???? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?????’ lmao

i’ve been trying my hardest to talk around stage kuukou’s writing but personal bangers despite are!!!!!

him trying to fight jakurai and when the man passed out without kuukou even doing anything he went, ‘bruh🧍‍♂️’!!!!!!!! him getting in hifumi’s face after being called out for his shitty attitude!!!!! him playing the bad guy to bring hitoya and jakurai together!!!!!!

kuukou: *points* HITOYA!!!!!!

kuukou: *points again* JYOOSH!!!!!!

i wish i was normal about bat’s rep live lol like while we may suspect that performance was borne out of his looming graduation, hirono-san snapped off that last remaining chain of sanity and went crazy lol

i think about him butting heads and screaming at kenta-san, one of the ddb guys who is probably the only one who could match that energy lmao, the roaring growing in frequency until he held up his jacket, nagoya side out, and yelling, ‘NAGOYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!’ until he blacked out on stage all the time 😭😭😭

other moments from the rep live i think about lol is that skit where hitoya totally scams kuukou and jyushi lmao but when hitoya told them the statue they ‘broke’ cost like 1000000¥ or some outrageous amount, kuukou started retching and that’s so relatable LOL

and that moment during the host club invasion where he walks in and goes ‘sup btches it’s been a while 😈’ and proceeds to destroy fragrance LOL

and him stuffing like four marshmallows at once in his mouth, expecting to be able to continue being able to speak lmao

and him going so hard his rings flew off and an unplanned mini encore happened as he tried to look for them LOL

saw a report that they were going stoopid one day during their rep live run the crowd was unwilling to let them go so hirono-san convinced the producers to let them do another encore on top of the several they already had 😭😭😭

and can you believe the hype never stopped even when bat wasn’t the focal point lol i heard that man at one point needed to be dragged off the stage during bop2023 bc he staunchly said they’d have to dim the lights on him for him to stop😭😭😭😭

there’s so so many bop2023 moments i think about like his redux rock paper scissors game, or him lifting up sasara only to drop him a second later lmao, him bullying stage posse LOL, the way they let him bring the hype whenever music lulled

and ofc the nb duet lol if the stage doesn’t want to do much by way of ichiro and kuukou’s relationship, thank fck hirono-san was there to carry lmao

crying over that one day when neither ichiro nor kuukou could catch their shared coke bottle to save their lives and kept laughing at each other while performing 😭😭😭😭😭

thank you hirono-san for establishing into stage canon kuukou dropped his bandana at ichiro’s feet after their breakup and that ichiro still has kuukou’s red bandana somewhere. it may not stick but that’s such an amazing take on that bandana’s whereabouts

daigo-san’s jyushi is so BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

THE top line i always think about is him joyfully walking into hitoya’s office in bat’s rep live and going, ‘hitoya-san!!!!! i’ve come to play!!!!! 😃😃😃’

previously that had been me crying anytime i thought about him skipping into hitoya’s office in track 3, cheerfully calling for him only to switch mid sentence into vkei mode once he noticed hitoya has guests lmao

his kuukou impersonation is legendary no joke lmao

AND SO IS ANY MOMENT WHERE HE PICKS KUUKOU UP LONG CAT STYLE SHOUT OUT TO BOP2023 SPECIFICALLY WHEN HE SWUNG HIM AROUND A LITTLE BIT TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

that’s the second most bat moment i think about lol

i like how sometimes daigo-san’s default jyushi expression is the equivalent of this lol

another top moment i think about is him yelling how much he loves kuukou and hitoya during bop2023 😭😭😭

especially when you think about those early days of bat???? his first stage role ever was track 3 and he talked about learning the ropes from ruito-san, late night train rides with hirono-san after rehearsals and sharing his insecurities, bonding with them both despite the two of them being shy and UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

like I COULD CRY about daigo-san incessantly commenting under hirono-san’s posts after track 3 and finally hirono-san went, ‘bro what gives???’ and daigo-san went, ‘i’m trying to be your friend lol’ 😭😭😭😭😭😭

all that bonding culminated to a point daigo-san can make fun hirono-san in his most trying hours lol (he lost a lot of money gambling LOL)

forever haunted by him commenting he and sakakihara-san had an in depth conversation about jyushi after track 3 and we never had them in the same room 😭😭😭😭

i also think about this one report i read where hitoya and kuukou were beefing as they usually do so he sat himself aside and lol when kuukou asked him why’s he sitting over there he responded, ‘well i didn’t want to get in the way of your flirting 😒’ LOL

jyushi being hitoya’s (current) number one fanboy is my canon lol so i’m happy he got a whole solo about hitoya lol

another top moment i think about is jyushi dramatically crying he’s going to die alone in shinjuku because he got separated from kuukou lmao

will forever and always be bitter the mtc rep live with bat as guests wasn’t available for stream so we missed kuukou bullying samatoki by repeating everything he said, kuukou and jyushi getting chased around by juto and rio while samatoki and hitoya waffled (and samatoki oogled hitoya’s body lmao) and jyushi got arrested by juto so he started crying for kuukou who came out asking what was wrong as he piggybacked rio LOL

idk if you can tell but i like stage jyushi lol he’s very funny

both hirono-san and daigo-san are so down bad for ruito-san it’s so funny but i don’t blame them LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM LOL

it’s so funny to see it bleed into their kuukou and jyushi like we ain’t ever getting over them essentially grinding up on him during one of bat’s songs in track 3 LOL

ruito-san is too peak for hitoya frfr lol ain’t no way we’ll get another hitoya who can do synchronised backflips with kuukou 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i almost forgot lol hirono-san commented that after track 3, he got stuck calling himself ‘sessou,’ kuukou’s personal pronoun lol, and similarly, ruito-san has a hard time not touching his chin like hitoya does LOL

stage hitoya is fascinating, simply bc of how much more adjusted he is than canon hitoya lol

like i cannot stress enough how the best morally grey hitoya was written when he scammed kuukou and jyushi into doing good deeds and favours for him lmao

since he’s so well adjusted, some of his and kuukou’s heart to heart changed in execution, but it was neat seeing him call out kuukou for assuming people can be effortlessly strong like him, and have that thought come back when he’s facing jakurai

idk if i have a preference between the stage vs canon on how they resolved hitoya’s and sensei’s relationship but i still think the stage absolutely cooked lol

will always be crying over kuukou’s jakurai impersonation lol and how he revealed it by teasing hitoya for having a date but kuukou apparently got the details wrong so he confidently corrected him that they had gone out for strawberry milkshakes

and fanboy jyushi fell to his knees crying how cute that was, he gets it LOL

there’s this motion stage hitoya does in his courtroom solo i think, where he stands with perfect posture and tilts his arms that makes him look like a scale ⚖️ and it’s so good lol symbolism in DANCING

so more on hirono-san and daigo-san loving ruito-san lol i always think about them gassing up the role he landed in a drag production 😭😭😭 hirono-san didn’t want to miss it and daigo-san eloquently used 🔥🔥🔥 in his hype, amongst other borderline thirst tweet shenanigans LOL

was that their last interview together……….???? but that video of them painting walls together where ruito spills paint all over hirono-san, daigo-san gently caresses paint onto ruito-san’s face, and hirono-san crushes daigo-san’s balls truly lives rent free i’m going to miss the three of them as bat so much 😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💔😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜

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