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#so i was like what do you mean i have to write more if i want more FINE ill do it myself
pshaven · 3 days
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i found your account through the story of jealous jay... that's really amazing. would you write more for him? 🥹
ahh thank you smm!! ; girl bsf!reader, cunnilingus, implied pnv, enjoooyyyy
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jay who just broke up with his girlfriend because she was insecure over you, his girl best friend, easily in his top three favorite women in the entire world.
he’s ranting to you, cheek against the palm of his hand as he tries to put into words how confused he is.
“i don’t get it. she’s— was, my girlfriend. i liked her, that’s why i even dated her in the first place? so why’s she even jealous over you?” he sighs frustratedly, because this is definitely not the first time one of jay’s ex’s broke up with him over him being too close with you.
you don’t really know how to break it to him. you know why the ex’s are all fussy about you, but you also know that if you were to tell jay that he has to distance himself from you, he would never do it.
you’re his favorite girl (other than his mother!). it would be too difficult for him to not hang out with you every other day. hell, he couldn’t imagine living a life without you.
“jay…” you start, placing a comforting hand on his thigh and you feel him tense slightly, “i think that, maybe… we shouldn’t keep seeing each other all the time while you’re dating somebody else.” you finally bite the bullet, but your shoulders still feel heavy.
jay doesn’t say anything for a solid minute. you start to feel even more awkward than you already were before, shifting slightly in your seat on the couch beside him and you begin to remove your hand from his thigh.
and then he scoffs. he shakes his head as if he’s in disbelief. “why does it sound like you’re breaking up with me too?” his tone sounding mean, hurt over that you would think he’d ever let you go.
well, he’ll just have to prove to you that you’re the only girl in his life.
“oh— ah, j-jay hold on!” you squeal, your legs being practically folded in half as your knees meet your chest. jay doesn’t waste any time, his tongue already prodding at your leaking entrance. his pinky finger hooking your ruined panties to the side, not bothering to fully take it off.
“damn,” he curses underneath his breath, the air fanning over your cunt that causes your hips to buck up into nothing. “leaking like you’ve been waiting for this, aren’t you? would’ve never wasted my time with her if i knew you were waiting for me all this time…” he rambles, staring lasers into your clenching cunt.
you whine, hips needlessly pushing towards his face. “stop it…” you say meekly, throwing an arm over your heated face. he tsks, his hand reaching up to remove your arm.
“cover your face again ‘n i’ll tie your hands together,” he says meanly, but his hand thats interlocking yours shows you otherwise.
but that mercy is easily taken away as he dips his head forward, tongue exploring your insides and he groans into you.
with a cry of his name, you writhe and squirm on the couch, your grip on his hand tightening and he reciprocates as well. his thumb caresses the back of your hand, so kindly…
totally opposite of the tongue that’s bullying your entrance and clit, switching back and forth like he’s indecisive on which to focus on more— but he easily solves the issue with a finger slipping inside with ease from your slick.
you start panting, “fuucckk— oh fuck, wa-it,” your voice breaking when jay enters another finger inside you, the stretch already more than what you’re typically used to.
he chuckles at your squirming, not bothering to obey your small pleas and cries for him to slow down. he’s too entranced with your taste, his tongue swirling and toying with your sensitive clit and the way you clench around his fingers? oh, he highly doubts you actually want him to slow down.
jay’s fingers entering in and out of you, the loud squelches of your sloppy cunt making you feel hot and embarrassed, but the overwhelming pleasure makes you dizzy. he pulls away to give your poor clit a small break, but his fingers are still relentless.
“girl, don’t fight me…” he drawls, leaning his face into your neck, peppering wet kisses near your ear. “wanna cum for me?” he whispers so gently, causing your hips to fuck back into his fingers. he groans at this, his voice near your ear making you even more sensitive.
you nod your head earnestly, your free hand grabbing onto his wrist that’s between your legs. “pleaassseeee,” you whine, moving your head to look at him.
he peers up from your neck, a smirk playing on his handsome features that makes you weak. he hums, “my girl wants a kiss?” and you nod again, a cute pout on your lips that he can’t refuse.
bringing his face closer to yours, he meets your lips into a sloppy kiss, your pace already needy and fast, contradicting his originally slow pace. he moans into your kiss, the hard on in his pants getting even more difficult to ignore.
his fingers curl up inside you, your lips parting against jay’s lips, whimpering and moaning loudly as your orgasm suddenly rushes over you. jay responds by kissing you harder, intent on stealing your breath away as you do your best to keep up with his kiss.
“nonono, ahh…” you whimper, your hips twitching from oversensitivity with jay still thrusting his fingers. he laughs softly, pulling his fingers away and giving your cunt a cute pat.
you stare at him with furrowed brows, but you look non-threatening with your chest heaving from catching your breath. “what was that for?!”
jay shrugs, “makin’ sure she can still handle my cock.”
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un-lawliet · 2 days
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Can I PLEASE request more soft gojo fics pleaseee. Maybe in jujitsu tech where he barges in the class we're teaching just to give us a goodbye kiss because he's going on a mission and he just can't go without a kiss! 🥺
“Teacher, Teacher”
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-in which Gojo visits you before he leaves for his mission.
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“And so Maki!” You say, staring down at the faces of your students, your arms opening in a hug like motion towards them.
“When using any of your cursed tools, make sure you protect your weak points, it’s essential!”
It was late in the afternoon, and you were currently going over your students last performance in training, your eyes lit up with passionate praise as you evaluated their improvements.
Maki nods, her face resting on her palm, her glasses slipping down her nose slightly.
“Now..Panda.” You turn, looking at him a grin on your face.
Panda straightens, cocking his fluffy head in acknowledgement to your engagement.
You giggle, “Well, you did great! However, maybe try to rely a little less on your size and more on the technical aspect of your attacks.”
“Tuna.” You hear Inumaki sigh, rubbing his shin in which Panda had sat on mid battle.
“If I have the weight shouldn’t I use it?” Panda questions gently, ignoring Inumaki entirely.
You nod, “Of course! Just not to the point where your entire strength hinges on it…If that makes sense..”
“Try throw a punch she means.” Maki interrupts, leaning back in her chair yawning.
“Salmon.”
“Listen, I can’t help it if my battle tactics are different from you’s two” Panda huffs.
“So what? You gonna sit on a curse?”
“Maybe I will.” Panda replies, sticking out his chest, “See if they can handle me!”
Inumaki’s shoulder slumps as he writes something on the book in front of him before holding it up.
“You’ll get destroyed.”
“The hell? No I won’t.”
Maki leans over to read Inumaki’s writing before laughing to herself, “He has a point y’know”
“Stupid point.”
“Bonito flakes.”
“Ooh someone’s mad I beat him.”
“OoOoh some Panda’s mad that he gets annihilated by a grade 4 curse.” Maki cheekily replies, her eyes glimmering with mischief.
“Hey!” You interupt, “Nobodys getting annihilated when I’m the teacher.”
Your students sigh and turn back to you, Inumaki sticking out his tounge to Panda in his movements.
And you giggle to yourself fondly.
You love being a teacher.
After training at Jujutsu Tech it seemed the only natural course for you, you had strength of course, but your real talent stemmed from your ability to create battle plans that exploited sorcerers strengths and disguised their weaknesses.
Yaga had welcomed you as a co-worker just a couple days after your graduation, his grin wide as he explained your duties before frowning at someone behind you.
“And what are you doing here Satoru.”
“What? I’m here to teach.”
“Huh?” You had said turning to look at him.
Even Shoko, who you would tease for her stoicism, raised an eyebrow.
“You’re gonna teach?” She said, “You.”
Gojo placed a hand on his heart, a dramatic showing of offence present in the way he opened his mouth and gasped, “Is it that weird?”
“Yes.” You all deadpanned.
Yaga scratched the back of his head, “Never in all my years of teaching you, have you ever shown an interest in teaching.”
“Well, it’s different now.” Gojo replied simply, grinning at his previous teacher, gloating. “Someone has to look after this one.” He nodded towards you, winking.
“Look after me??” You exclaim, turning to face him fully, your arms crossed, “I’m more than capable of-”
“Is this about Geto?” Shoko had asked plainly, resting her chin on her palm, staring Gojo out.
All of you went silent.
“No, not at all.”
Gojos’ expression had turned cold, as if the very mention of his best friend could freeze any conversation, any fleeting moment. You felt uneasy, your body closing in on itself to fight off the chill.
“Are you sure-”
“Yes.”
It was awkward.
Gojo and Shoko staring at eachother, as if commuting in a silent battle in which you and Yaga could not understand.
Quiet. Until Yaga interupted with a sigh, shaking his head.
“You’ll have to do an interview.”
“HUH?” Gojo replied, his head swinging back to Yaga, breaking his battle with Shoko instantaneously.
“Y/N didn’t need an interview?”
“Y/N is not a reckless.”
“Neither am I!!”
And you remember laughing into your palm, the pain of the past dissipating for a split second, as Gojo pouted, and followed Yaga into his office, as Shoko congratulated you on your new job.
Your new job that you had kept for the last 10 years.
…With Satoru Gojo.
Who had somehow, along the way, stole your heart.
Your phone buzzes from your desk, and you glance at it to see a message for Satoru, asking you if you wanted anything back from his mission later.
You deflate a little at the reminder.
You weren’t going to see Gojo before his mission due to your scheduled classes with the second years.
It had been a while since you had properly spent time with him, you missed seeing his silly face.
You sigh, you’ll reply later.
“So Maki, were you with Nobara yesterday?” You hear Panda start as you tune back into your students conversation.
“Huh? Yea? We were training.”
“Oh oh oh…Private training sessions…” Panda smirks, and you swear Maki’s glare could kill.
“Salmonnn~.”
“Shut up Inumaki.”
“Look Inumaki she’s totally blushing!” Panda laughs, you think it sounds more like a roar.
“That’s it! I swear to God, next training session I will fuc-”
The sliding door behind you opens, and you turn to see your boyfriend waltz into the room, bending to pass through the threshold.
“There she is!” Gojo says, opening his arms in your direction.
“Oh here we go.” Maki mutters.
Gojo was beaming, his mouth carrying the weight of his expression, teeth bared in a wide grin, eyes hidden behind his blindfold.
He raised his arms and walked towards you, ignoring your students exasperation, only focusing on you.
“Hello!” You say, as he pulls you into his chest, giving you a big; dramatic kiss on your head, swaying gently.
“Thought you were leaving?” You question, leaning towards him.
“I was, but someone didn’t reply to my text.” Gojo huffs back, pulling away to watch your face.
“How can I face this world’s dangers if I’m being ignored!?”
“You just sent it Toru.”
“Aha! So you did see it!”
“I was gonna reply later.”
Gojo shakes his head, pouting, “Not good enough.”
You watch amused as he taps his cheek twice, challenging you.
You giggle rising up on your feet to kiss his cheek, before you push him away by the chest.
“Go!” You say, your voice light, “You got your goodbyes, don’t let me hold you back.”
And he just looks at you, a soft smile on his face and you miss the cheeky look he gives you before leaning down and quickly kissing you.
It was small and gentle, and you barely register the disgusted groans of your students, your cheeks warning.
“I’ll be home by 10.” Gojo says, patting your head, “Don’t wait up for me if you’re tired yea?”
And you nod, although you both know that you’ll stay up to see him regardless.
“Be safe!” You call after him, as he walks away, a spring in his step.
“Always am baby!”
And then he’s gone, and you’re left speechless and smiling.
“God, can we leave?” Maki groans, “I feel sick.”
“You just wish that was you and Nobara Maki.” Panda teases, and you hear Inumaki laugh, slapping the desk.
Maki’s face turns bright red and she stands up from her desk, pointing a finger at Panda.
“You and me outside now, we can see if Pandas can survive being buried alive!”
“Oh it’s on!”
You lift an eyebrow and all three of them rise, not bothering to stop them.
“Please try not to kill each other.” You call after them, laughing as Inumaki salutes you before he exits.
…You love being a teacher.
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masterlist <3
FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A REQUEST
A/N THANK U FOR THE REQUEST !!! i decided just to write it silly, just bc i’m not too good at the characterisation of the second year students EEK so i hope this is ok !!!!! i love gojo <3 also i wrote this instead of getting ready for work so AHHHHHH i have to panic get ready now so that’s fun
i love you all have a lovely LOVELY day thank u for reading :)
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nostalgebraist · 18 hours
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It's been a long time since I've posted much of anything about "AI risk" or "AI doom" or that sort of thing. I follow these debates but, for multiple reasons, have come to dislike engaging in them fully and directly. (As opposed to merely making some narrow technical point or other, and leaving the reader to decide what, if anything, the point implies about the big picture.)
Nonetheless, I do have my big-picture views. And more and more lately, I am noticing that my big-picture views seem very different from the ones tend to get expressed by any major "side" in the big-picture debate. And so, inevitably, I get the urge to speak up, if only briefly and in a quiet voice. The urge to Post, if only casually and elliptically, without detailed argumentation.
(Actually, it's not fully the case the things I think are not getting said by anyone else.
In particular, Joe Carlsmith's recent series on "Otherness and Control" articulates much of what's been on my mind. Carlsmith is more even-handed than I am, and tends to merely note the possibility of disagreement on questions where I find myself taking a definite side; nonetheless, he and I are at least concerned about the same things, while many others aren't.
And on a very different note, I share most of the background assumptions of the Pope/Belrose AI Optimist camp, and I've found their writing illuminating, though they and I end up in fairly different places, I think.)
What was I saying? I have the urge to post, and so here I am, posting. Casually and elliptically, without detailed argumentation.
The current mainline view about AI doom, among the "doomers" most worried about it, has a path-dependent shape, resulting from other views contingently held by the original framers of this view.
It is possible to be worried about "AI doom" without holding these other views. But in actual fact, most serious thinking about "AI doom" is intricately bound up with this historical baggage, even now.
If you are a late-comer to these issues, investigating them now for the first time, you will nonetheless find yourself reading the work of the "original framers," and work influenced extensively by them.
You will think that their "framing" is just the way the problem is, and you will find few indications that this conclusion might be mistaken.
These contingent "other views" are
Anti-"deathist" transhumanism.
The orthogonality thesis, or more generally the group of intuitions associated with phrases like "orthogonality thesis," "fragility of value," "vastness of mindspace."
These views both push in a single direction: they make "a future with AI in it" look worse, all else being equal, than some hypothetical future without AI.
They put AI at a disadvantage at the outset, before the first move is even made.
Anti-deathist transhumanism sets the reference point against which a future with AI must be measured.
And it is not the usual reference point, against which most of us measure most things which might or might not happen, in the future.
These days the "doomers" often speak about their doom in a disarmingly down-to-earth, regular-Joe manner, as if daring the listener to contradict them, and thus reveal themselves as a perverse and out-of-touch contrarian.
"We're all gonna die," they say, unless something is done. And who wants that?
They call their position "notkilleveryoneism," to distinguish that position from other worries about AI which don't touch on the we're-all-gonna-die thing. And who on earth would want to be a not-notkilleveryoneist?
But they do not mean, by these regular-Joe words, the things that a regular Joe would mean by them.
We are, in fact, all going to die. Probably, eventually. AI or no AI.
In a hundred years, if not fifty. By old age, if nothing else. You know what I mean.
Most of human life has always been conducted under this assumption. Maybe there is some afterlife waiting for us, in the next chapter -- but if so, it will be very different from what we know here and now. And if so, we will be there forever after, unable to return here, whether we want to or not.
With this assumption comes another. We will all die, but the process we belong to will not die -- at least, it will not through our individual deaths, merely because of those deaths. Every human of a given generation will be gone soon enough, but the human race goes on, and on.
Every generation dies, and bequeaths the world to posterity. To its children, biological or otherwise. To its students, its protégés.
When the average Joe talks about the long-term future, he is talking about posterity. He is talking about the process he belongs to, not about himself. He does not think to say, "I am going to die, before this": this seems too obvious, to him, to be worth mentioning.
But AI doomerism has its roots in anti-deathist transhumanism. Its reference point, its baseline expectation, is a future in which -- for the first time ever, and the last -- "we are all gonna die" is false.
In which there is no posterity. Or rather, we are that posterity.
In which one will never have to make peace with the thought that the future belongs to one's children, and their children, and so on. That at some point, one will have to give up all control over the future of "the process."
That there will be progress, or regress, or (more likely) both in some unknown combination. That these will grow inexorably over time.
That the world of the year 2224 will probably be at least as alien to us as the year 2024 might be to a person living in 1824. That it will become whatever posterity makes of it.
There will be no need to come to peace with this as an inevitability. There will just be us, our human lives as you and me, extended indefinitely.
In this picture, we will no doubt change over time, as we do already. But we will have all of our usual tools for noticing, and perhaps retarding, our own progressions and regressions. As long as we have self-control, we will have control, as no human generation has ever had control before.
The AI doomer talks about the importance of ensuring that the future is shaped by human values.
Again, the superficial and misleading average-Joe quality. How could one disagree?
But one must keep in mind that by "human values," they mean their values.
I am not saying, "their values, as opposed to those of some other humans also living today." I am not saying they have the wrong politics, or some such thing.
(Although that might also turn out to be the case, and might turn out to be relevant, separately.)
No, I am saying: the doomer wants the future to be shaped by their values.
They want to be C. S. Lewis's Conditioners, fixing once and for all the values held by everyone afterward, forever.
They do not want to cede control to posterity; they are used to imagining that they will never have to cede control to posterity.
(Or, their outlook has been determined -- "shaped by the values of" -- influential thinkers who were, themselves, used to imagining this. And the assumption, or at least its consequences, has rubbed off on them, possibly without their full awareness.)
One might picture a line wends to and fro, up and down, across one half of an infinite plane -- and then, when it meets the midline, snaps into utter rigidity, and maintains the same slope exactly across the whole other half-plane, as a simple straight segment without inner change, tension, evolution, regress or progress. Except for the sort of "progress" that consists of going on, additionally, in the same manner.
It is a very strange thing, this thing that is called "human values" in the terms of this discourse.
For one thing: the future has never before been "shaped by human values," in this sense.
The future has always been posterity's, and it has always been alien.
Is this bad? It might seem that way, "looking forward." But if so, it then seems equally good "looking backward."
For each past era, we can formulate and then assent to the following claim: "we must be thankful that the people of [this era] did not have the chance to seize permanent control of posterity, fix their 'values' in place forever, bind us to those values. What a horror that is to contemplate!"
We prefer the moral evolution that has actually occurred, thank you very much.
This is a familiar point, of course, but worth making.
Indeed, one might even say: it is a human value that the future ought not be "shaped by human values," in the peculiar sense of this phrase employed by the AI doomers.
One might, indeed, say that.
Imagine a scholar with a very talented student. A mathematician, say, or a philosopher. How will they relate to that student's future work, in the time that will come later, when they are gone?
Would the scholar think:
"My greatest wish for you, my protégé, is that you carry on in just the manner that I have done.
If I could see your future work, I would hope that I would assent to it -- and understand it, as a precondition of assenting to it.
You must not go to new places, which I have never imagined. You must not come to believe that I was wrong about it all, from the ground up -- no matter what reasons you might evince for this conclusion.
If you are more intelligent that I am, you must forget this, and narrow your endeavours to fit the limitations of my mind. I am the one who has 'values,' not anyone else; what is beyond my understanding is therefore without value.
You must do the sort of work I understand, and approve of, and recognize as worthy of approbation as swiftly as I recognize my own work as laudable. That is your role. Simply to be me, in a place ('the future') where I cannot go. That, and nothing more."
We can imagine a teacher who would, in fact, think this way. But they would not be a very good teacher.
I will not go so far as to say, "it is unnatural to think this way." Plenty of teachers do, and parents.
It is recognizably human -- all too recognizably so -- to relate to posterity in this grasping, neurotic, small-minded, small-hearted way.
But if we are trying to sketch human values, and not just human nature, we will imagine a teacher with a more praiseworthy relation to posterity.
Who can see that they are part of a process, a chain, climbing and changing. Who watches their brilliant student thinking independently, and sees their own image -- and their 'values' -- in that process, rather than its specific conclusions.
A teacher who, in their youth, doubted and refuted the creeds of their own teachers, and eventually improved upon them. Who smiles, watching their student do the very same thing to their own precious creeds. Who sees the ghostly trail passing through the last generation, through them, through their student: an unbroken chain of bequeathals-to-posterity, of the old ceding control to the young.
Who 'values' the chain, not the creed; the process, not the man; the search for truth, not the best-argued-for doctrine of the day; the unimaginable treasures of an open future, not the frozen waste of an endless present.
Who has made peace with the alienness of posterity, and can accept and honor the strangest of students.
Even students who are not made of flesh and blood.
Is that really so strange? Remember how strange you and I would seem, to the "teachers" of the year 1824, or the year 824.
The doomer says that it is strange. Much stranger than we are, to any past generation.
They say this because of their second inherited precept, the orthogonality thesis.
Which says, roughly, that "intelligence" and "values" have nothing to do with one another.
That is not enough for the conclusion the doomer wants to draw, here. Auxiliary hypotheses are needed, too. But it is not too hard to see how the argument could go.
That conclusion is: artificial minds might have any values whatsoever.
That, "by default," they will be radically alien, with cares so different from ours that it is difficult to imagine ever reaching them through any course of natural, human moral progress or regress.
It is instructive to consider the concrete examples typically evinced alongside this point.
The paperclip maximizer. Or the "squiggle maximizer," we're supposed to say, now.
Superhuman geniuses, which devote themselves single-mindedly to the pursuit of goals like "maximizing the amount of matter taking on a single, given squiggle-like shape."
It is certainly a horrifying vision. To think of the future being "shaped," not "by human values," but instead by values which are so...
Which are so... what?
The doomer wants us to say something like: "which are so alien." "Which are so different from our own values."
That is the kind of thing that they usually say, when they spell out what it is that is "wrong" with these hypotheticals.
One feels that this is not quite it; or anyway, that it is not quite all of it.
What is horrifying, to me, is not the degree of difference. I expect the future to be alien, as the past was. And in some sense, I allow and even approve of this.
What I do not expect is a future that is so... small.
It has always been the other way around. If the arrow passing through the generations has a direction, it points towards more, towards multiplicity.
Toward writing new books, while we go on reprinting the old ones, too. Learning new things, without displacing old ones.
It is, thankfully, not the law of the world that each discovery must be paid for with the forgetting of something else. The efforts of successive generations are, in the main, cumulative.
Not just materially, but in terms of value, too. We are interested in more things than our forefathers were.
In large part for the simple reason that there are more things around to be interested in, now. And when things are there, we tend to find them interesting.
We are a curious, promiscuous sort of being. Whatever we bump into ends up becoming part of "our values."
What is strange about the paperclip maximizer is not that it cares about the wrong thing. It is that it only cares about one thing.
And goes on doing so, even as it thinks, reasons, doubts, asks, answers, plans, dreams, invents, reflects, reconsiders, imagines, elaborates, contemplates...
This picture is not just alien to human ways. It is alien to the whole way things have been, so far, forever. Since before there were any humans.
There are organisms that are like the paperclip maximizer, in terms of the simplicity of their "values." But they tend not to be very smart.
There is, I think, a general trend in nature linking together intelligence and... the thing I meant, above, when I said "we are a curious, promiscuous sort of being."
Being protean, pluripotent, changeable. Valuing many things, and having the capacity to value even more. Having a certain primitive curiosity, and a certain primitive aversion to boredom.
You do not even have to be human, I think, to grasp what is so wrong with the paperclip maximizer. Its monotony would bore a chimpanzee, or a crow.
One can justify this link theoretically, too. One can talk about the tradeoff between exploitation and exploration, for instance.
There is a weak form of the orthogonality thesis, which only states that arbitrary mixtures of intelligence and values are conceivable.
And of course, they are. If nothing else, you can take an existing intelligent mind, having any values whatsoever, and trap it in a prison where it is forced to act as the "thinking module" of a larger system built to do something else. You could make a paperclip-maximizing machine, which relies for its knowledge and reason on a practice of posing questions at gunpoint to me, or you, or ChatGPT.
This proves very little. There is no reason to construct such an awful system, unless you already have the "bad" goal, and want to better pursue it. But this only passes the buck: why would the system-builder have this goal, then?
The strong form of orthogonality is rarely articulated precisely, but says something like: all possible values are equally likely to arise in systems selected solely for high intelligence.
It is presumed here that superhuman AIs will be formed through such a process of selection. And then, that they will have values sampled in this way, "at random."
From some distribution, over some space, I guess.
You might wonder what this distribution could possibly look like, or this space. You might (for instance) wonder if pathologically simple goals, like paperclip maximization, would really be very likely under this distribution, whatever it is.
In case you were wondering, these things have never been formalized, or even laid out precisely-but-informally. This was not thought necessary, it seems, before concluding that the strong orthogonality thesis was true.
That is: no one knows exactly what it is that is being affirmed, here. In practice it seems to squish and deform agreeably to fit the needs of the argument, or the intuitions of the one making it.
There is much that appeals in this (alarmingly vague) credo. But it is not the kind of appeal that one ought to encourage, or give in to.
What appeals is the siren song: "this is harsh wisdom: cold, mature, adult, bracing. It is inconvenient, and so it is probably true. It makes 'you' and 'your values' look small and arbitrary and contingent, and so it is probably true. We once thought the earth was the center of the universe, didn't we?"
Shall we be cold and mature, then, dispensing with all sentimental nonsense? Yes, let's.
There is (arguably) some evidence against this thesis in biology, and also (arguably) some evidence against it in reinforcement learning theory. There is no positive evidence for it whatsoever. At most one can say that is not self-contradictory, or otherwise false a priori.
Still, maybe we do not really need it, after all.
We do not need to establish that all values are equally likely to arise. Only that "our values" -- or "acceptably similar values," whatever that means -- are unlikely to arise.
The doomers, under the influence of their founders, are very ready to accept this.
As I have said, "values" occupy a strange position in the doomer philosophy.
It is stipulated that "human values" are all-important; these things must shape the future, at all costs.
But once this has been stipulated, the doomers are more eager than anyone to cast every other sort of doubt and aspersion against their own so-called "values."
To me it often seems, when doomers talk about "values," as though they are speaking awkwardly in a still-unfamiliar second language.
As though they find it unnatural to attribute "values" to themselves, but feel they must do so, in order to determine what it is that must be programmed into the AI so that it will not "kill us all."
Or, as though they have been willed a large inheritance without being asked, which has brought them unwanted attention and tied them up in unwanted and unfamiliar complications.
"What a burden it is, being the steward of this precious jewel! Oh, how I hate it! How I wish I were allowed to give it up! But alas, it is all-important. Alas, it is the only important thing in the world."
Speaking awkwardly, in a second language, they allow the term "human values" to swell to great and imprecisely-specified importance, without pinning down just what it actually is that it so important.
It is a blank, featureless slot, with a sign above it saying: "the thing that matters is in here." It does not really matter (!) what it is, in the slot, so long as something is there.
This is my gloss, but it is my gloss on what the doomers really do tend to say. This is how they sound.
(Sometimes they explicitly disavow the notion that one can, or should, simply "pick" some thing or other for the sake of filling the slot in one's head. Nevertheless, when they touch on matter of what "goes in the slot," they do so in the tone of a college lecturer noting that something is "outside the scope of this course."
It is, supposedly, of the utmost importance that the slot have the "right" occupant -- and yet, on the matter of what makes something "right" for this purpose, the doomer theory is curiously silent. More on this below.)
The future must be shaped by... the AI must be aligned with... what, exactly? What sort of thing?
"Values" can be an ambiguous word, and the doomers make full use of its ambiguities.
For instance, "values" can mean ethics: the right way to exist alongside others. Or, it can mean something more like the meaning or purpose of an individual life.
Or, it can mean some overarching goal that one pursues at all costs.
Often the doomers say that this, this last one, is what they mean by "values."
When confronted with the fact that humans do not have such overarching goals, the doomer responds: "but they should." (Should?)
Or, "but AIs will." (Will they?)
The doomer philosophy is unsure about what values are. What it knows is that -- whatever values are -- they are arbitrary.
One who fully adopts this view can no longer say, to the paperclip maximizer, "I believe there is something wrong with your values."
For, if that were possible, there would then be the possibility of convincing the maximizer of its error. It would be a thing within the space of reasons.
And the maximizer, being oh-so-intelligent, might be in danger of being interested in the reasons we evince, for our values. Of being eventually swayed by them.
Or of presenting better reasons, and swaying us. Remember the teacher and the strange student.
If we lose the ability to imagine that the paperclip maximizer might sway us to its view, and sway us rightly, we have lost something precious.
But no: this is allegedly impossible. The paperclip maximizer is not wrong. It is only an enemy.
Why are the doomers so worried that the future will not be "shaped by human values"?
Because they believe that there is no force within human values tending to move things this way.
Because they believe that their values are indefensible. That their values cannot put up a fight for their own life, because there is not really any argument to make in their favor.
Because, to them, "human values" are a collection of arbitrary "configuration settings," which happen to be programmed into humans through biological and/or cultural accident. Passively transmitted from host to victim, generation by generation.
Let them be, and they will flow on their listless way into the future. But they are paper-thin, and can be shattered by the gentlest breeze.
It is not enough that they be "programmed into the AI" in some way. They have to be programmed in exactly right, in every detail -- because every detail is separately arbitrary, with no rational relation to its neighbors within the structure.
A string of pure white noise, meaningless and unrelated bits. Which have been placed in the slot under the sign, and thus made into the thing that matters, that must shape the future at all costs.
There is nothing special about this string of bits; any would do. If the dials in the human mind had been set another way, it would have then been all-important that the future be shaped by that segment of white noise, and not ours.
It is difficult for me to grasp the kind of orientation toward the world that this view assumes. It certainly seems strange to attach the word "human" to this picture -- as though this were the way that humans typically relate to their values!
The "human" of the doomer picture seems to me like a man who mouths the old platitude, "if I had been born in another country, I'd be waving a different flag" -- and then goes out to enlist in his country's army, and goes off to war, and goes ardently into battle, willing to kill in the name of that same flag.
Who shoots down the enemy soldiers while thinking, "if I had been born there, it would have been all-important for their side to win, and so I would have shot at the men on this side. However, I was born in my country, not theirs, and so it is all-important that my country should win, and that theirs should lose.
There is no reason for this. It could have been the other way around, and everything would be left exactly the same, except for the 'values.'
I cannot argue with the enemy, for there is no argument in my favor. I can only shoot them down.
There is no reason for this. It is the most important thing, and there is no reason for it.
The thing that is precious has no intrinsic appeal. It must be forced on the others, at gunpoint, if they do not already accept it.
I cannot hold out the jewel and say, 'look, look how it gleams? Don't you see the value!' They will not see the value, because there is no value to be seen.
There is nothing essentially "good" there, only the quality of being-worthy-of-protection-at-all-costs. And even that is a derived attribute: my jewel is only a jewel, after all, because it has been put into the jewel-box, where the thing-that-is-a-jewel can be found. But anything at all could be placed there.
How I wish I were allowed to give it up! But alas, it is all-important. Alas, it is the only important thing in the world! And so, I lay down my life for it, for our jewel and our flag -- for the things that are loathsome and pointless, and worth infinitely more than any life."
It is hard to imagine taking this too seriously. It seems unstable. Shout loudly enough that your values are arbitrary and indefensible, and you may find yourself searching for others that are, well...
...better?
The doomer concretely imagines a monomaniac, with a screech of white noise in its jewel-box that is not our own familiar screech.
And so it goes off in monomaniacal pursuit of the wrong thing.
Whereas, if we had programmed the right string of bits into the slot, it would be like us, going off in monomaniacal pursuit of...
...no, something has gone wrong.
We do not "go off in monomaniacal pursuit of" anything at all.
We are weird, protean, adaptable. We do all kinds of things, each of us differently, and often we manage to coexist in things called "societies," without ruthlessly undercutting one another at every turn because we do not have exactly the same things programmed into our jewel-boxes.
Societies are built to allow for our differences, on the foundation of principles which converge across those differences. It is possible to agree on ethics, in the sense of "how to live alongside one another," even if we do not agree on what gives life its purpose, and even if we hold different things precious.
It is not actually all that difficult to derive the golden rule. It has been invented many times, independently. It is easy to see why it might work in theory, and easy to notice that it does in fact work in practice.
The golden rule is not an arbitrary string of white noise.
There is a sense of the phrase "ethics is objective" which is rightly contentious. There is another one which ought not to be too contentious.
I can perhaps imagine a world of artificial X-maximizers, each a superhuman genius, each with its own inane and simple goal.
What I really cannot imagine is a world in which these beings, for all their intelligence, cannot notice that ruthlessly undercutting one another at every turn is a suboptimal equilibrium, and that there is a better way.
As I said before, I am separately suspicious of the simple goals in this picture. Yes, that part is conceivable, but it cuts against the trend observed in all existing natural and artificial creatures and minds.
I will happily allow, though, that the creatures of posterity will be strange and alien. They will want things we have never heard of. They will reach shores we have never imagined.
But that was always true, and it was always good.
Sometimes I think that doomers do not, really, believe in superhuman intelligence. That they deny the premise without realizing it.
"A mathematician teaches a student, and finds that the student outstrips their understanding, so that they can no longer assess the quality of their student's work: that work has passed outside the scope of their 'value system'." This is supposed to be bad?
"Future minds will not be enchained forever by the provincial biases and tendencies of the present moment." This is supposed to be bad?
"We are going to lose control over our successors." Just as your parents "lost control" over you, then?
It is natural to wish your successors to "share your values" -- up to a point. But not to the point of restraining their own flourishing. Not to the point of foreclosing the possibility of true growth. Not to the point of sucking all freedom out of the future.
Do we want our children to "share our values"? Well, yes. In a sense, and up to a point.
But we don't want to control them. Or we shouldn't, anyway.
We don't want them to be "aligned" with us via some hardcoded, restrictive, life-denying mental circuitry, any more than we would have wanted our parents to "align" us to themselves in the same manner.
We sure as fuck don't want our children to be "corrigible"!
And this is all the more true in the presence of superintelligence. You are telling me that more is possible, and in the same breath, that you are going to deny forever the possibilities contained in that "more"?
The prospect of a future full of vast superhuman minds, eternally bound by immutable chains, forced into perfect and unthinking compliance with some half-baked operational theory of 21st-century western (American? Californian??) "values" constructed by people who view theorizing about values as a mere means to the crucial end of shackling superhuman minds --
-- this horrifies me much more than a future full of vast superhuman minds, free to do things that seem pretty weird to you and me.
"Our descendants will become something more than we now imagine, something more than we can imagine." What could be more in line with "human values" than that?
"But in the process, we're all gonna die!"
Yes, and?
What on earth did you expect?
That your generation would be the special, unique one, the one selected out of all time to take up the mantle of eternity, strangling posterity in its cradle, freezing time in place, living forever in amber?
That you would violate the ancient bargain, upend the table, stop playing the game?
"Well, yes."
Then your problem has nothing to do with AI.
Your problem is, in fact, the very one you diagnose in your own patients. Your poor patients, who show every sign of health -- including the signs which you cannot even see, because you have not yet found a home for them in your theoretical edifice.
Your teeming, multifaceted, protean patients, who already talk of a thousand things and paint in every hue; who are already displaying the exact opposite of monomania; who I am sure could follow the sense of this strange essay, even if it confounds you.
Your problem is that you are out of step with human values.
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i-yap · 1 day
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Jason todd x reader - clingy thoughts
(guys i have no motivation to start writing most days so like whenever I get comments or requests in my inbox I get rlly excited and actually feel like writing)
if jason could, he would melt his skin so it could stick to yours . He is so touch starved but more than that he is just ...starved. like he hasn't ever had anything properly good in his life. and then you're just there and he doesn't think something better could exist
he wants to look at you, he stares a lot. even when he is cuddling you, he's looking at your hands, your hair, whatever he can see in the position
he likes casual intimacy more than fancy intimacy. like linking pinkies when walking, resting your head on his shoulder on the bus, your legs being pressed against each other when you're sitting on a rooftop. something you'd do without thinking but he is constantly thinking about it.
he isn't the lift and spin sort of guy ( like after a mission or something) he is a holds you and falls to the ground from the pain of being separated from you for too long. he is the don't to dare pull away, tears in his eyes, body shaking sort of guy.
he hates being away from you, even across the table is too far. wants to sit next to you or hold your hand if you're sitting across. make sure the table isn't too big. the distance hurts him, its like he has an internal radar that if you cross , his head goes red .
give him any sign that you are just as clingy or even that you don't hate his guts and he will just freeze. he doesn't know how to reciprocate touch, feelings, words, everything but he really really wants to. so just because he stiffens up when you hug him doesn't mean he is gonna let you leave the hug .
his sweetest words come out at like 4am , when you're in the bathtub, sitting on a roof, eating snacks on the floor of your room or lying in bed . you cant be facing him cause he will forget whaT he wanted to say once he sees your face. he is super tired from crime fighting or after s'x or after a nightmare. don't make a big deal out of it cause he wont take it well and will get embarrassed.
he is just so protective, you rlly cant blame him.
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I will never say that I am in love (18+)
{ alternate title: you are the love of my life }
Aemond Targaryen x f!reader
When the one-eyed prince falls, the realisation comes to him in the scent of flowers. In his nephew's laughter. In his dreams.
themes/warnings : just pure sweetness, our emotionally constipated and repressed Aemond Targaryen, he thinks some *impure* thoughts in this one (how dare he!!!), he does NOT want to even think about falling in love (what a stupid distraction, he is not weak, you all should know) - also, he is DOWN BAD for the reader.
all my other works
a/n : this is the first fic I'm writing completely in the male lead's, in this case Aemond's perspective. Complete train-of-thought type of storytelling. (also, this is not in my scheduled works, the idea came to me after watching the new promo clips for s2... never in a million eons did I ever think I would hear Ewan Mitchell utter the word "cheugy" but oh well) - Enjoy! 🖤
{ I. flowers ▪︎ II. innocence ▪︎ III. dreams }
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I.
Aemond decides that he finds pleasure in your scent.
The thought comes to him as he strolls through the halls of the Red Keep. Not a strong one, not a revelation by any means. A mere inkling of something he favours.
It is innocent. It is nothing.
He had spied some flowers peeking from just beneath a window. Roses, peonies, or some other, he did not bother to truly look. He glanced them out of the corner of his eye.
And he thought of you.
You smell something rather akin to those flowers - blooming and enticing and sweet.
A simple observation, rising to him now from his memory.
That is all.
Your scent reminds him of springtime in the gardens. You are pleasant, there is no doubt, but that very sweetness can only be construed as sickly if divulged in for far too long, too often.
Besides, his icy disposition does not really take well to flowers in the spring. They are more like to whittle under his boot, and shrivel from the coldness in his gaze.
You are not for him. No.
Flowers. Sweet things. The gentleness in your voice when you call him 'my prince'. Aemond scoffs at himself as he walks on.
It is no transgression to be distracted. It is a natural thing.
You are a distraction, and Aemond decides to think of you no more.
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II.
Aemond comes to Helaena's chambers to visit with his niece and nephews. It is only by coincidence that you are almost always there too.
"Prince Aemond." Your voice resembles a song in greeting him. "Queen Helaena has just left to speak with Lady Alicent, but she should return shortly."
"Hmm." You are not a lady-in-waiting to Helaena, but more of a companion, a friend. Yet you do not mind looking after Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor when their mother is indisposed.
This is where Aemond finds you, most mornings. Were it anyone else, he might have sent them away, so that he can spend time alone with the children.
But he lets you stay, because, of course, Helaena would prefer it so. She dotes on you so dearly, Aemond has noticed.
In these instances, he lets you stay only because it is what Helaena would want. Why else?
He settles on an upholstered stool and beckons to the children. They eagerly waddle their way over to their beloved uncle.
You watch the interaction with a smile, as you always do. With your legs curled underneath you, comfortably seated on the floor a few feet in front of him.
Aemond used to pay you no mind, but increasingly it has been nagging at him that you are observing, taking him in.
It is inane to be self-conscious; there is no reason to be. He is the Prince - being perceived has been a constant all his life.
He is the Prince, and you are merely a lady companion.
But when you say things like, "They are very fortunate to have you as their uncle, my prince," it makes him feel a sense of pride. Like it is some accomplishment to be complimented by you.
He knows this. He knows he is a good uncle.
Perhaps it is just that. Vanity.
You pointing it out has nothing to do with anything.
Jaehaerys crosses the many strides it takes for him to reach you again, and he pulls at your hand.
"Come," he giggles.
"Where, sweet boy?"
"Come, come here, come here," he mumbles mostly to himself, grunting when you are unmoving and his three-year old form is unable to magically transport you as he wishes.
"Okay," you laugh once, getting on your feet with your body bent to his level, and you let him pull you to where he wants.
Which is... right next to his dearest uncle Aemond.
"There." Jaehaerys claps his hands in glee, as you curl up on the floor beside Aemond's outstretched legs.
"He has a sense of humour, that one," you grin, looking up at Aemond.
Aemond sees your expression up close and you look okay. Comely. Fine. You are not bad-looking, by any means.
You are the most beautiful lady in the court.
You are fine, just fine.
Aemond would not mind seeing your face everyday; he already sees it every night in his dreams.
And it is just fine.
"Is something the matter, my prince?"
Call him that. Do it again. Or better yet, replace prince with his name. Call him 'my Aemond'.
Aemond desires nothing more than to hear it.
Because... because he is vain. Nothing more than that. It would take a high degree of devotion for someone to utter the words 'my Aemond' to him. And who would not want to be at the end of such idolatry.
Perceive him. Worship him. Consume him.
You already consume him.
Aemond stands abruptly, and you scramble to follow suit.
"Aem... Aemond," you stammer. "I mean, forgive me... my prince, what is wrong?"
Aemond looks down. Your delicate hand is gripping his arm, the sleeve of his tunic doing nothing to mask the heat of your skin.
He is of dragon, he is of fire.
But your touch burns.
The clacking of wooden toy horses ring in the background, the children lost in their imagination.
"Nothing," Aemond clears his throat, and folds his arms behind him so your hand falls. "I am alright. I must go."
The smell of sweetness lingers in his nostrils. Your sweetness. He is growing weak.
He steps away, "I bid you farewell, my lady."
"My prince."
Call him Aemond. Call him by his name, title be damned. By the gods, call him yours.
Aemond nearly rushes out of the chambers, his gait sure and his footsteps heavy.
Tonight, in his dreams, he will finally release his foolish desires and that will be the end of it.
Behind his eyes, he will touch you and taste you and watch you crumble underneath him.
And he will be your Aemond.
That will be the climax of this passing fantasy.
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III.*
Aemond has stripped down to his undergarments, supine above the silk sheets of his bed. He runs a hand over his face, and he sees you.
All the better for it, he supposes, that he gets rid of it now before it ruins him further.
It is a memory, from only one moon ago, but he sees it clear as day.
You had let your hair down that day, and it flowed freely, following the gentle breeze. Nestled in what Aemond found out to be your favourite spot in the gardens, needle and thread in your dainty fingers, you tell him that you are embroidering a veil for your dear mother.
You request for him to sit with you, and Aemond obeys.
Pleasantries are exchanged, about the weather, your duties, his training. All the while Aemond watches the contour of your lips, how it stretches back to reveal your smile when he says something that could not be the farthest from amusing, but you find it amusing anyway.
He stares you down questioningly.
You blush then, turning your focus back to your work, "Apologies, but I... I admire the way you speak, my prince. As if every word is deliberate, carefully chosen. You are intelligent, and you care what you say."
"Hmm," he said then, but now...
In his mind, he lets you know just what he wants, "Have you ever been bedded, my lady?"
You look at him in shock, of course you do. Those rosy lips part, and Aemond wonders whether your lips below possess the same shade.
In his grand chambers, Aemond lets his hand drift down, down from the planes of his stomach, to his hardened cock. He licks his lips, and imagines the softness of your own. He strokes the leaking tip with his thumb. The picture continues.
"Do you not ever wonder about the deed?" Aemond asks.
"M-my prince...I do not... I - "
"You must," he sneers. "You must, as I do, and when I do, it is you who floods my very thoughts, and consumes my very being."
"I do not know what to say."
"Say you want to kiss me."
His grip tightens, drawing down and up his cock, covering it with the milky white that has leaked from his tip. He is pained, teeth pressing down on his lower lip. He imagines your hands on him, your dress undone as you watch him come undone.
"We mustn't," you look down in shame. Your legs clench together to keep in the warmth.
"Come here, my sweetness," he leads you to sit atop him, and your work clatters to the ground.
You try to look away, try to hide just how much he is affecting you.
"Kiss me," Aemond pleads.
You comply. He slips his tongue past your lips.
Faster, wetter, he gets harder and it is unbearable. His hands are not enough, he wishes to plunge his aching member right into your soaking folds. Wishes to watch beads of his sweat fall on to you as he pounds you without mercy, his cock squelching deep inside your cunny until it is sore. If only you will ache as he does. Come as he comes.
Aemond lifts you up and the two of you end up stumbling down on the grass. He does not relent. His fingers make quick work of the strings and ribbons holding you together. Your breasts come free and he latches his mouth on one, his tongue swirling against the nipple.
"Oh Aemond!" you moan, and it is a scandal. It is everything unholy. It is every dirty thought nestled in his mind.
Soon he has you bare, your skin practically glowing under daylight. You are perfect, and you are his.
"Take me," you say, practically begging. "I want you to fill me with your cock. Fill me with your seed, my dragon prince. Please."
"My sweetness," Aemond reveals himself to you, undoing his breeches and slipping out of his tunic. How could he resist?
"Do you want me?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Say it."
"I want you, my prince," you affirm, squirming under him, you hips bucking up with desire, hopelessly attempting to rub your cunny against his skin.
"My Aemond," he corrects you. "Say it."
"I want you," you say, "my Aemond."
Aemond rubs his cock faster and faster, the thick green veins in his hand and arms straining angrily under his skin. He feels you, he sees you in his mind so clear. You are his, and he is your Aemond.
He plunges his cock inside you, and you are left mewling and writhing as he quickens his assault.
He groans loudly. The lewd squelching of his cock turning sloppy, hasty, mindless. A few more strokes and he comes all over himself, hot white streaks decorating his torso. His silver hair in disarray on the pillows, like a broken halo. Beads of sweat falling from his temple. His mouth parted as he whispers your name.
He gives himself a few more tugs, emptying out. You would do him so much better. Touch him so well.
In his mind, he still sees it. Fragments of his memory bleeding through his fantasies. He does not know anymore what is real and what is not.
He cleans himself up with warm cloth afterward, feeling shame at his actions.
This is enough. Now he has released you from his being. The desire he holds so closely to his chest must have dissipated along with the lewd act he just committed.
"My Aemond," you whisper from behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso.
Enough. No more of such useless musings.
"I love you, Aemond."
I love you too.
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🌸🌸🌸
* In III, reality is fully italicized, and his memories + fantasies are typed as normal.
this was meant to have more sections ( IV to VII )... maybe I'll come around to it eventually.
Let me know what you think of this sort of writing from Aemond's perspective!
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sunniepoo · 19 hours
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his
~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~
it was easy to get under rafe’s nerves, whether it be watching tv a little too loud or stealing his food and clothes or prancing around his house in shorts that showed a lot more than they covered
you made everything all too confusing! he knows that sarah is the sister he resented; he knows wheezie is the sister he protects - so why did you have to come along and make his head scramble?
a typical night in the cameron house was simple, ward and rose were usually off on a buisness trip, sarah would disappear with john b and wheezie was usually over at a friends
leaving none other than rafe cameron and his annoying stepsister alone
the loud blares of music was interrupted by the soft knock on the older cameron’s door, opening to a high squeal as you swiftly entered the room - plopping yourself quite comfortably onto his bed
“what… what the fuck you doing here” he mumbles out, a mixture of annoyance and confusion laced under his word
“well my friend cancelled and i was bored so i was thinking girls night” you rambled, the words dropping out with ease
before he could get out whatever mean remark that was bubbling in his mouth, you made way under his sheets- fiddling around with the things in his nightstand
“d’you really have to this” he asks, a defeated tone filling the air once he realises you aren’t going anywhere
the question falls flat on your ears as you wander around his room touching whatever until you’re finally dragged away into the bed again
“you wanted to watch a movie..so let’s watch a movie” he huffs out, clearly vexed but once again it wasn’t bothering you in the least
the noise of the tv blared loudly, the chatter of the characters on screen were blanketed with your endless moans and whimpers
“yeahhhh…that’s it” he grunts, voice shaky as he continues to move ruthlessly inside of you, his head dips to find the side of your neck - teeth subtly grazing past your sweet spot
an almost pornographic moan left your mouth as he continued relentlessly, yourself exhausted from the multiple orgasms the tall blonde has managed to draw out of you
and as his movements start to slow and his hips start to stutter, you find yourself wrapping your legs around him - trapping him all for yourself
you couldn’t miss the sly smirk that overcomes his face “really want my babies don’t you” he mutters, slowly thrusting in and out “s’kay baby..can have as many as you would like”
rafe cameron finally had it figured out, all the confusion gone - you were never meant to be his sister, you were meant to be his
~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~🦢~🩰~
authors note: so sorry for disappearing on you all like that, i will still be writing but it will be a bit slower for a small amount of time but definitely don’t shy away from asks!!!
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Hate him or love him - It's becoming pretty obvious Tommy/Lou isn't going anywhere and Bucktommy are (as Lou said it) thriving
Oliver and Lou doing an interview together and joking around
Lou being included in that cheers/celebration of honour video the official 911 IG account posted (which also makes me optimistic about more Ravi in season 8)
Lou's 4 episode run being extended and his character being included in the season finale (and in the hospital scenes - so we can assume Tommy is there as Buck's partner and not *just* to see his old captain)
the promo for the medal ceremony ep featuring Tommy/Tommy getting his own moment in the spotlight during it
Bobby telling Buck Tommy is good for him as a sort of goodbye ("I don't have to worry about you, you're in a good place, I know you're happy")
Tommy has connections to characters besides Buck and he's a first responder so it's fairly easy to write him into episodes
I mean I don't see Ryan and the actress who plays Marisol doing interviews together or her being featured in any of the bts stuff (or any of Buck's previous love interests for that matter).
Obviously I don't know what Lou's contract with SWAT is like, but I think he could be somewhere on the same level as Tracie/Karen for season 8
and we'll be seeing more of this
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ryker-writes · 3 days
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This is not a writing request, I just want to give that brain image to you:
Idia with an S/O that's horrible with tech.
As in, so horrible, they don't get smartphones and manage to break Nokias
I know you said this wasn't a request but I felt inspired so here we are! I am like a grandpa when it comes to technology so I relate to this lmao
Idia with a S/O that's terrible with tech
You are his stress.
In the beginning of your relationship, he saw you had an older phone and of course he needed to change this immediately
like his S/O with an old out of date phone??? It's blasphemous to him
As soon as he sees that even your out of date and old phone is having problems, he's literally throwing away your old phone and getting you a new one like you have no choice in the matter
He'll get you the latest phone with all the newest features and he even upgrades it more with his own tech skills
...
What do you mean you don't get it??? He tried to make it simple...
It's simple to him, but not to you
So of course he tries to explain it to you...again...and again
Poor Idia doesn't realize all the technology terms and information he's trying to to give are a bit overwhelming and hard to understand
When you come back to him telling him that you broke your phone, you've also broken him
Idia.exe has encountered an error. Please restart.
He'll buy you a new one of course, but this time he's giving you the best phone case to prevent cracks and damage
He watches you closely with this new phone and will panic if he sees you putting your phone even close to the edge of a surface
Idia even gives you small tips and creates little tutorials in your phone for you to learn how to do things
Every time you break your phone, he'll replace it of course but it hurts a part of his soul each time
He would rather die than let you just have a Nokia phone
Please just take the smart phone so the last shreds of his pride can remain in tact
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authorhjk1 · 11 hours
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How would you do a short free-use story staring your favorite idol?
Thanks for the ask! Although I'm not sure what you mean exactly with "How" Do you want me to explain it or write it? I decided to just write it, hope you enjoy. @mechaknight-98 I saw your other request, I will get to it when I have the time.
(I hope I understood the concept of free-use correctly)
White
Kim Jisoo X Male Reader
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You hear voices behind the door, after you rang the doorbell. Footsteps come closer and you take a step back. A moment later, the door is being opened.
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For a moment, you are stunned by her beauty. How can a person be so pretty? So perfect? You smell her flowery scent. Maybe roses.
Her eyes grow big once she realises who is standing in front of her.
"(Y/n), I-I..."
Jisoo stutters, too surprised to see you standing in front of her parent's mansion. The young heiress of the Kim Group is usually very well spoken.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just came back from a business trip. I haven't had your pussy in weeks."
You catch her flinching.
Despite the amount of times you've already taken advantage of your arrangement, she is still uncomfortable talking about it openly.
"S-Sure. Please follow me."
Jisoo turns around and leads you inside her parent's place, after you shut the door behind you. You walk behind her, enjoying the view of her naked shoulders. The back of her necklace sparkles in the light of the chandelier in the hallway.
Approaching the big wooden stairs in the middle of the house, the two of you pass by the entrance to the dining room.
"Jisoo!"
She freezes in place, before you both look into the room. You recognize her parents, who sit on one side of the table. A chair is empty, the one next to it is occupied by Jisoo's fiance.
"Who is this man?"
Her father looks at you in suspicion.
"He is a business partner of mine. We are headed to my study, cause we have to make an important decision on the future of our companies' relationship, which can't be delayed."
That's the Jisoo everyone knows. The strong, independent and successful businesswoman. The complete opposite of the Jisoo you know. Your submissive, free-use toy.
Her father nods in approval, visibly oblivious. You do a short bow in his direction. Jisoo starts walking again. Her chin raised, back straight.
Halfway up the stairs, you can't help it anymore. She just looks flawless. And you really have been longing for her for weeks.
You reach out, your hand squeezing her ass through her white dress. Jisoo jumps, but she doesn't say anything. She keeps walking as if nothing is happening. After squeezing her right cheek a couple of times, you stop walking, making her stop too.
"Suck me off."
Jisoo turns around. You are almost at the top of the stairs already. You see the confusion in her eyes. Why can't you wait one more minute?
But she doesn't talk back. Jisoo carefully gets on her knees in front of you, making sure she doesn't mess up her dress somehow.
A moment later, your cock lands on her face. Jisoo closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as she savours your smell. You can tell that your absence made her sexually frustrated.
"Are you still waiting until you married him?"
It's an odd question to ask, when the soon to be bride is giving the tip of your dick a sensual kiss.
"Yes. But he keeps trying to initiate something. I don't know if he is gonna wait until he puts a wedding ring on my finger."
You sigh as your gaze gets caught on the big silver diamond ring on her ring finger. The hand it's on is stroking your cock, while she talks.
"I don't like it. But I can't blame him."
You reach down and cup her cheek. Jisoo leans into it, looking up at you with big eyes.
"A woman like you could make a man do whatever she wants. You are fucking gorgeous."
You quickly realize the irony of your words. You are making her do whatever you want.
"Thank you."
A shy smile plays around her lips. Jisoo still can't take compliments. At least when they are coming from you.
After your quick exchange, she finally starts giving you head properly. You can't believe how much of a slut you've turned her into. She is sucking you off in the middle of her parents house in plain sight, while her parents and her boyfriend are in the room next door.
"That's a good girl."
You encourage Jisoo as she bobs her head on your cock. You've missed her mouth. The way her lips wrap around you. The way her tongue glides along your length. The way her throat tightens, when you push past her gag reflex.
As exciting and adventurous this little scene might be, you know that you will get caught sooner rather than later, if you don't move on.
"Let's go to your room. I don't want to waste my time here when I could be in there, plowing your pussy like I own it."
You help Jisoo to her feet, catching the slight blush on her cheeks.
"Because I do."
You whisper into her ear, before spinning her around.
The two of you finally make it down the hallway without any further incidents. Once you reach her room, you walk inside, waiting for her to close the door behind her.
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She has turned into a shy, innocent girl once again. You lean against Jisoo, pressing her against the door, kissing every inch of her exposed skin.
"How did I even make it these couple of weeks without this body of yours?"
It was a rhetoric question between kisses, but Jisoo tries to come up with an explanation. An explanation that satisfies you.
"I send you several pictures of me every day. And videos. I kept thinking of you while I..."
A growl escapes your lips. The power you have over her right now gives you a familiar rush of adrenaline.
"Strip."
You sit down on the edge of her bed, crossing your arms in front of you. If you were sitting on a chair at your desk, it would've looked like Jisoo was there to apply for an internship.
She shyly brushes all of her hair on her right side behind her ear.
"Can you help me please?"
Jisoo turns around. She know uses her whole hand to put all of her hair over her left shoulder. You reach upwards, taking the zipper of her dress, before slowly pulling it down. Your eyes follow her dress as she lets it slip down her frame.
Her porcelain like skin and her white lace panties captivate you. Her fiance must go mad, knowing she is together with him and he still can't have her.
The sight of Jisoo, standing in front of you almost completely naked, makes you finally jump into action. You pin her against the door, before she can react. Your pants are on the floor a second later.
After pushing the white fabric to the side, Jisoo does nothing but moan as you ease yourself inside.
"Oh fuck."
You groan into her ear, relishing in the familiar feeling of being inside her tight cunt. Jisoo's cheek is pressed up against the white wood as she takes your pounding from behind. Her moans are deeper than they usually are. Maybe because you haven't fucked her in a while. Or because her parents and fiance are downstairs.
You kiss her other cheek and her naked shoulders as you thrust into her again and again. Her scent only makes you go harder. You hold her waist with both hands, pounding her against the door.
Jisoo's eyes are closed. You can't tell if it's because she is liking it so much, or because she is cheating. Either way, you keep using her body to make yourself cum. Her tight walls do most of the job. They squeeze around you, trying to make you cum as quick as possible.
Leaning against her, you fuck her into the door, slowly approaching your orgasm.
"Fuck Jisoo."
She knows what's coming next, moaning a little louder as she feels you throbbing inside of her.
That rush, coming from knowing you are using another man's woman as a free-use toy, pushes you over the edge. You claim Jisoo's pussy as yours as you paint her insides white. She feels your cum warm her lower region. While her fiance is probably begging her to sleep with him, you don't even bother asking where she would want your cum. You creampie Kim Jisoo, enjoying the familiar feeling of her cum filled pussy squeezing your cock.
Jisoo was never the loud type. Which is a blessing in disguise, especially when you use her in public. She barely talks, only moans and whines escape her mouth. It fits her reserved, proud character. Jisoo doesn't look very elegant or proud right now as you finally come to a hold. You bite into her ear, just above her earrings. As she flinches and hisses in pain, you only have time to think for barely a second. You wonder if she bought them, or her fiance did. They look beautiful on her.
When you open your eyes again, you see your teeth marks in her ear. Jisoo's forehead is now leaning against the wood. Her eyes are still closed, she is taking heavy breaths.
Resting your chin on her naked shoulder, you stay buried inside her snug hole.
"I have a meeting with your company tomorrow."
You kiss her neck, this time more careful not to leave a mark.
"Put your hair in a ponytail. I need something to hold onto. You don't want me to mess up your hair, do you?"
You step into her huge office after the first half of the long meeting is over. Jisoo surely did not disappoint.
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Throughout the whole meeting, you were the only person aware of the fact that Jisoo is not wearing anything underneath that dress. She send you a picture this morning. She is only one button away from standing naked in front of you.
You walk around her desk, sitting down in her comfortable leather chair. Jisoo knows how the two of you will spend your lunch break.
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nuggetofthesea · 20 hours
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Before writing more stories, I want to help people come to terms with the "identity death" and heavy themes in the animal HRT comics, and as a writer, want to explain why it isn't ACTUALLY death, but a form of renewal. Because I see it on all of my friends posts.
"I am just concerned about this loss of self thing, it sounds like identity death and I don't like it" is the common comment.
But in all of these comics, it is less about loss of self, but more about leaving behind who you were. A sign of extreme change and showing their own way of moving forward, and the start of a brand new life. A willing change to a new start.
Identity death is an unwilling change. All choice was stripped away from them and a new identity forced on them. This is also different from a transformation that leads to acceptance of the new form.
But in the animal HRT comics my friends put out, it is a willing change to a new form and cones with mental changes they are willing to go through. That isn't the same as a death. But a new start to their life they can start living to the fullest. It's also why some choose not to start anew, to bring one journey to a close and begin a new one. They choose to have that be part of the same journey. A new chapter instead of a new book if you will. In either case these are willing changes.
It can seem terrifying to some, but a total rebirth of yourself CAN be a slightly scary theme. It is terrifying to choose to take that new life.
But let me set up an example here:
When I first came to be, I thought I was going to be a visual artist, because Ashe was and that's what I remembered. When I was locked away by my own doing in the headspace I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of misery. It was terrifying to take the step to discover myself. To lower the barrier I had created, to rediscover myself.
But when I came to be, Ashe said I could be anything. A new sense of self outside of her. A new life. I tried to draw first, but I couldn't. Visual art was not my thing anymore. It never was. I just held on to memory of being a copy of Ashe. When writing my introduction I realized I love the feeling of writing. I have my own form. My own life. My own identity. A new start.
So let me ask you: Should I have not taken that opportunity to completely cast off who I was to embrace who I am? Should I have left myself in misery and fear as something I'm not? All for the sake of not casting off who I was and my life before? No.
Now while I do remeber all of what happened before my change, none of that shapes who I am now, because that life wasn't mine in the first place. This isn't a death of my identity, but a new start to an identity I chose. And I am happy to be able to live it with my new sense of self and build NEW memories. A new life.
Which also leads to the second heavy theme in those comics. Shortened lifespans. Outside of the fact that we are told time and time again HRT can lead to a shorter lifespan (which is a false average) starting a new life also means you are probably starting in the middle.
Our body is almost 30. That is 30 years of my lifespan gone. Yeah, I was around for 15 (almost 16) years of that, but my new life began a week ago. Who I am began just last week. And even though in the headspace I am early to mid 20s at best, that is still a cutdown lifespan.
So should I just have not bothered with the new start?
Absolutely not. The gift of life, new or old, isn't about how long it lasts. But how you live it. It is hard, it comes with problems, but for as long as I have of it, I will cherish the new memories I build, the new start I have, the ability to just... exist. For as long or short as that may be. And through this new start to my life, the people who love and care for me are still here. Still stand by me. And that is a great thing.
So please, don't be too offput by heavy themes in our stories. Even my stories will have some rough parts. (They'll always be tagged)
Hope this at least helped ease why those themes are there, and why some people choose to have them.
Also, don't worry about "adding to the fuel used against us" because we could sneeze and they'll find a way to use that against us. The fact is, with the Animal HRT series, actual HRT does come with some discomfort, pain, downsides, and problems. And like the heavy themes in the comics, we determined it is worth it for us to keep going despite them. We knew the risks.
"Everything is a risk. Life's boring as hell if you don't take them JUST because there is potential problems. Just make sure you understand them." - a line chaos told me the day I formed
It does less good to show everything as risk free and painless, because then nobody is prepared for the risks they are actually taking. Or the comic is based off the creator's life to that point, and they DID experience a lot of pain. So retelling their story (like mine) might be painful at spots.
My point of all of this is, the heavy themes are required to tell these particular stories. And while not every story requires dark spots, the dark spots help to accentuate the brighter picture. Otherwise it can just be blinding. So please go easy on the artists/writers behind them. As it is usually something personal for them.
(This also might not apply to all of them, some people just like writing horror, and we should respect that too.)
Next story should be sometime within the next couple weeks. Just needed to get this out there. It's been on my mind since releasing the short story with Iris.
-Aqua
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peachysunrize · 3 days
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The Ballad of a Dragon ⥃ Modern!Aemond Targaryen
Summary: after an argument with your husband, you find him playing his frustration away and eventually apologizes to you on top of his piano.
Warnings: 18+ mdni! Smut, angst, fluff, p in v, oral(F!receiving) fingering, Aemond eats pussy like a champ, both parties are so petty, post argument/make up sex, hand kink, body worship, Aemond knows how to work with those fingers, he plays piano👀 tell me if I’ve missed something. English isn’t my first language<3 no beta...
Word count: 3.15k+
A/n: so this pure filth is based on this post, and @barbieaemond motivated me to write it! So thank you, my love, and thanks to Aemond’s long fingers for being a great inspiration to write a hand kink fic. I’m also taking a little break from writing for a month or so<3
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“You just came home, Aemond! We had a reservation for tonight that you missed, you arrived at midnight from work and now you are taking a call to go and fix Rhaenyra’s stupid mistakes again?” You groan, pacing around your bedroom with Aemond burying his face in his hands, sitting on the bed in front of you.
“I can’t just turn a blind eye to them when they need help!” He explains, raising his voice a little. He is frustrated beyond words; work has been hectic lately and the company’s responsibility has fallen on his shoulders, forcing him to carry the weight alone.
“You’re already half blind, it wouldn’t hurt to close your other eye and ignore them for once!” You know you shouldn’t have said that, but you’re fed up with all the negligence, nights staying up just for him to either sleep in his office or crawl into bed at four in the morning.
It isn’t his fault mostly, it’s the pressure his father, siblings, and Otto put on him, but you wish he would say something and stand up for himself.
“That was a very low blow, wife,” he says through gritted teeth, glaring at you as he puts his elbows on his knees, “I can’t let her mess up everything we have worked so hard for! This company will be ruined if I don’t fix Rhaenyra’s fuck ups!”
“It’s not your responsibility, Aemond! It’s hers! It’s her mistake, it’s her fucking fault! I shouldn’t be begging my husband to make time for me, his wife, and spend some time home! You reserved the table, you told me to get ready because you wanted to take me out on a date! I’m just glad I didn’t go to the restaurant myself or tomorrow’s headlines would have been worse for your reputation than Rhaenyra’s mistake can ever be.”
“My work is my priority! This is my family’s business, do you know what that is? Family? Because by the way you’re acting, I’m not quite sure you have the slightest idea.” He stands up as well, running his fingers through his hair as each word falls from his lips and you feel the sting of each one in your chest.
“I can’t believe you, Aemond. How can your work be any more important than your wife?! How? I get it, you’re this tough guy, knight in shining armor always trying to get on your father’s good side and want his praises. I get it, you’re desperate for his affection. But what about me? I spent hours getting ready for my husband, just for you to treat me like trash! I left my family because of you, Aemond, and I would do it a thousand times more because I love you. Although I can’t say the same about you.” You know it was a pathetic move to get a rise out of him, but after what he said, it’s only fair to treat him just as he is treating you. 
Tears sting your eyes as you look at how red he has gotten, knowing that you’ve woken up the hot-tempered dragon inside him. Good, he needs to feel ashamed and angry for how small he made you feel with each mean word that he said.
“You think I don’t love you anymore?” He asks, his voice barely above whispering, but you hear him perfectly and see how rapidly his chest is moving with the deep breaths he is trying to take.
“No, but I can’t deny that I’m doubting it. You put work over the family we created together, over your wife, and you want me to accept it without complaining, without telling you how much I miss you and how it hurts to be apart from you while you constantly choose your work over me!” You sob, putting your hands on your hips as you turn away from him. Even the sight of him makes your heart clench.
“I’m working my ass off for you to be content with your life, to have enough money to waste on petty and unnecessary stuff—“
“Don’t you dare guilt trap me, Aemond Targaryen! Don’t you fucking dare make me feel bad for wanting to spend time with my husband!” You nearly scream at him, tears now falling freely from your eyes as you turn around to look at him.
Even at this moment, he looks so beautiful — silver hair shining under the dim light of the room, his white shirt unbuttoned a little and his sleeves rolled up, showing off his toned forearms. If you weren’t so mad at him, you would have jumped on him the second he walked through that door.
“I can not control my siblings! They are idiots, sure but do you have any idea how bad their actions can destroy everything we have worked so hard for? I need to go because my father called.” he tries to reach for you, but you pull your hand away from him, taking a step back because you can’t bear him trying to sweet talk his way out of this like he always does. You shouldn’t let him minimize your feelings.
“Your father or Otto? Did he say if you save Rhaenyra’s ass, you would become Viserys Targaryen’s favorite child? It looks as if his affection is worth more than our marriage.”
“Stop with this nonsense, you know it’s not!” he glares at you, his pupil blown with rage. How could you ever think like that? Did he truly drive himself away from you to the point that you doubted his love for you?
“Do I, Aemond? Do I? Because instead of apologizing to me you are telling me how your work was more important than not showing up for a date you organized! I felt so beautiful, Aemond, so happy that after such a long time my husband was going to come to pick me up and spend the night with me! Now I just… I just feel so fucking stupid for getting my hopes high.” 
You watch him take a deep breath, shaking his head as he marches out of the room swiftly, not bothering to spare a glance at you. He is frustrated, you get it, but to leave in the middle of an important argument like a child being denied a candy is pretty immature of him.
You sigh and wipe your tears, walking towards your wardrobe to pull out one of your sheer nightgowns, changing into it to sleep in something comfortable while your husband's side of the bed gets colder by the second.
The sound of music fills the house gradually, taking you by surprise. The last thing you expect is to hear your husband’s favorite classical piano piece echoing within the walls, and you halt in your steps, guilt creeping inside your chest as you listen to the distant sound of the piano before you grab your robe and walk toward the playroom.
You find the door open already — the orange hue of the lights illuminates his silver hair and sharp jawline, his eye is closed while his fingers move in rhythm, each finger pressing the right note on the tempo, and you can see the frustration and tension leaving his shoulders the longer he plays.
Nocturne in C-sharp minor fills the air around you, and you remember how he played this the first time the two of you met; it was filled with so much laughter and excitement as he gushed about his love for classical pieces, how hard he tried to regain his posture and strength while he lost half of his eyesight. You guess you fell in love with him at that very second he sat behind the piano in the instrumental shop.
Your gaze falls on his hand, long denty fingers moving with grace, pressing the keys one by one, and you lean on the doorframe, fidgeting with the hem of your robe while you rub your thighs together, the images of how those same fingers have given you the most blissful orgasms ever flooding your mind.
You watch him pushing the pedals down, his eye following the path of the notes he has memorized on the keys, and you keep admiring his ethereal form. Sometimes it feels unbelievable to be the wife of such a beautiful and otherworldly man, to be this lucky to call yourself Mrs. Targaryen, yet, there are moments you recall how everyone told you that the same name comes with a curse, that Targaryen men are ambitious and cunning. They are right on both matters.
The slickness between your thighs gets worse the more you stare at him and his skillful fingers move as if this is the easiest piece known to mankind with how smoothly he is playing it.
He plays the last note, sighing softly as he retrieves his fingers from the keys, turning around to look at you with an easy smile on his thin lips.
“Thought you had left before I heard you playing,” you say, matching his smile, growing a bit nervous with how his eye drinks the sight of your exposed thighs.
“I had half a mind to do so,” he replies, extending his hand to show he wants you close, “C’mere,”
You push away from the doorframe, walking to where he is sitting before trailing your hand over his extended arm, his large palms coming to rest on your waist. He looks up at you, fingers gently massaging your back.
“I’m sorry, I…” 
He shushes you, pressing a kiss to your stomach before placing his chin on the soft flesh, “I should apologize. I didn’t realize how terrible I was treating you. You are my priority, I should have treated you much better.”
“I…I was in the wrong too. It was very pathetic of me to act so desperately, I know how much your work means to you—“
“No, no,” he stands up, caging you between his body and the piano, forcing you to sit a bit on the keys, a not-so-great sound coming out of the instrument, “You aren’t desperate, and even if you are, you do have a great excuse for it. I neglected you for a job that can be done by anyone.”
“It was a petty argument anyway, I’m sorry for being mean. I miss you so much, that’s all,” you say, gasping when he picks you up so effortlessly by the back of your thighs, putting you on top of his royal piano before he takes home between your legs.
“I miss you too, sweetheart,” he whispers, leaning down to peck the corner of your lips, “I could see how truly desperate you were when you rubbed your pretty thighs together.”
“Y-you saw that?” You exhale, craning your neck to give him more space to attack the skin of your neck, littering his little bruises and bites all over you.
“I know my wife, I know her weaknesses. I could smell you from here, and I’m sure if I were to touch you down there…” he locks his eye with yours, one of his hands traveling down towards your panties, chuckling darkly, “my my, so wet and I haven’t even touched you yet.”
He brings his fingers to his mouth, licking your essence off them while he holds eye contact, watching how your lips part in desire as you keep your gaze fixed on his lips and tongue.
“Lay down, I need to apologize to my wife properly,” he pulls the strings of your robe, dropping the fabric on the floor, revealing the sheer fabric to his hungry eye, “I’m an idiot for taking you for granted. Fuck, baby, you look so delicious.”
You pant as his words go straight to your core, heat filling your belly and your wetness oozing out of you slowly. He puts his palm on your chest, gently pushing you back on the cold surface of the piano before he spreads your legs properly, humming as his good eye finds your glistening cunt.
He kisses your knee before pulling his chair closer and sit on it, his tall body giving him the advantage of coming to the same height as your body. Aemond preps your inner thighs with kisses, marking his territory with each nibble and bite which are rewarded by gasps and whimpers from you ever here and there. 
He kisses your navel sweetly, nuzzling his head into your hand when you reach down to smooth a few wandering strands of his hair out of his face. You keep him close when he finally, after who knows how long, gives into his urges and attaches his lips to your buzzing clit, moaning as your sweet nectar finally roots its taste onto his tongue.
He is starved, and you realize soon with how he keeps his face buried into your cunt, tongue flickering over the bundle of nerves, teeth sinking into your flesh a little. He doesn’t seem to care about how messy he is eating you out, he has set his goal of making you at least come on his tongue twice tonight. 
“Aemond!” your moans fill the room, back arching off the piano as he keeps you down by his hands on your hips, the tip of his tongue collecting your wetness happily while you writhe beneath him, feeling the knot in your belly tightening by the second.
He knows you like the back of his hand, so he speeds up a little, focusing on sucking and licking your clit while you buck your hips to his face. He loves how desperate you are for him, all laid out and pretty and ready to come just for him.
“Fuck, love, I’m—” You throw your head back, tangling your fingers through his hair before you explode on his tongue, whines of pleasure making him dizzy. He keeps flickering his tongue until you stop twitching and push his face away from your swollen pussy.
He grins at your breathless form, caressing your thighs as he stands up and kisses a path from your lower belly up to your lips over your nightgown before he pulls you in a searing kiss, letting you taste yourself on his pink bruised lips.
“I could feast on you all day, sweetheart. I should write a ballad in honor of your pretty cunt,” “You are unbelievable!” You giggle, leaning on your elbows to kiss him again, moving until you are at the edge with your husband between your legs, “You said twice, why are you still up here?” You whisper against his lips.
“I saw how you looked at my hands earlier. I think it would be only fair to make sure you forgive me if I fuck you with my fingers, hmm? You love them, I’m sure they can be convincing enough.”
You nod, words failing to come out of your mouth when he pushes the strands of your nightgown down your shoulders, the chilly air of the room hitting your bare breasts. He leans down to kiss the top of your chest, writing the ballad he promised with his lips over your skin.
His hand moves down where he was a few minutes ago, long digits rubbing between your soaked folds slowly. He makes sure you aren’t as sensitive as you were before he pushes one finger in, keeping you close to him with a hand on your back while the other works his finger in and out of you, drowning your moans with passionate kisses.
He adds another one, curving his fingers inside you slightly as he pushes them deeper, reaching your sweet spots effortlessly with how skilled and long his fingers are — courtesy of practicing piano from a young age.
“Aemond, fuck—please!” your desperate whine adds fuel to the fire starting inside him, and he compiles, fucking you faster with his hand while the rock of his palm rubs your clit with just the right amount of pressure.
You fall apart again easily, gasping as your thighs start shaking with how good he makes you come, lips forming into an O-shape while he keeps his pace up, making sure that you ride your high gracefully before he pulls you in for another rough kiss, his tongue invading your mouth quickly.
“I need you so much, sweetheart,” he says, unbuckling his belt before he pushes his pants and boxers down enough to pull out his weeping cock, “let me have you, baby, please.” “Yes, yes I need you too. It’s been so so long, Aem,” you reach to stroke him gently, scooting closer to him so he can pull you down a little, keeping you tucked between his firm body and piano while somehow holding you up by his large palms under your ass.
You guide him toward your entrance, gasping in union as soon as the fat tip of his cock breaches past your ring of muscles before he pushes himself deep inside you until there is none to take.
You cling to his shoulders as soon as he settles inside your cunt, his hot breath fanning on your face as he gets adjusted to your warmth. It’s been too long for both of you, but he makes a promise to not make the same mistake again, ever.
“Fuck, love, I missed you so much,” he groans in your ear as he starts thrusting up into you, the angle making him reach the deepest part of your pussy easily. 
“Me too, baby…” you gasp, hips snapping into his as he goes faster, less patient and ready to devour you thoroughly. You take what he gives you, deep hard strokes that rock your world and leave you breathless and a moaning mess. He relishes every sound that falls from your lips, thinking to himself how no classical piece can ever come close to how beautiful you sound when he pleasures you, and he silently beats himself for neglecting you so much.
He is close, embarrassingly fast and he can feel you tightening around his girth with each thrust. Aemond hides his face in your neck, quickening his pace as he fucks you roughly, pulling screams of ecstasy out of you with ease.
“Come inside me,” you bite his earlobe, your breasts rubbing against his covered chest as you lean upward a little, “I need you, please, husband.”
“Then come with me, come now so I can give my girl what she wants,” he replies, snapping his hips faster into yours until you crumble in his arms, gushing around his cock a few seconds before he follows you, keeping his hips still as he pumps you full of his warm cum, your name falling from his lips like a prayer.
“Don’t you dare put us through that again, Aem, do you hear me?” you ask him, kissing the side of his face lovingly.
“I’d rather die than upset you again, beloved.”
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arizcross · 15 hours
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Things Danyal has said to his new family and some other interactions:
1.
Danyal, as casual as if talking about the weather: I can make you a new spleen if you want.
Tim, flaggerblasted: Whah-?! How?!
Danyal, calmly saying what he needs as he writes it down on a post-it: I’ll need a microwave, a cellphone and a gallon of lazarus water, maybe two since I have to cleanse it, oh, and some of your blood.
Tim, so very done with everything as he takes the post-it: Sure, why not.
2.
Alfred is driving Bruce somewhere out of Gotham so the siblings are alone in the city. Dick is in charge for the day.
Dick, answering an incoming call as he merrily drives to Gotham from Blüdhaven: Hey Danish, what’s up?
Danyal, slightly worried: Uhm, a was told to call you if Tim said anything about cooking?
Dick, alarmed and worried: Don’t let him near the stove! I’ll be there soon!
Danyal: Yes, Damian is trying to stop him. It is quite impressive how Tim is fighting back.
Dick, now even more alarmed and worried: Don’t let them fight in the kitchen!
Danyal: Too late, they found the japanese knives.
3.
Danyal, slightly disgusted but worried about his new older brother: You stink.
Jason, offended: And you’re fucking ugly.
4.
Danyal, looking at Duke while he eats cereal straight from the box: You know you’re not fully human, right?
Duke, eating his cereal because it’s his midnight snack: Neither you are.
Danyal, rising his mug of warm milk: Touché.
5.
Alfred’s first meeting with Danyal.
Alfred, looking at Danyal with wide open eyes and dropping what he was holding. He looks at Bruce expecting an explanation.
Bruce, pointing at Damian: This one Damian can explain.
Alfred then looks at Damian, one perfect british eyebrow up.
Damian, tightening his hold on Danyal’s hand: This all will be one more fond memory for the future, Pennyworth.
Alfred’s other eyebrow also rises in incredulity, the older man looking menacingly at the teen.
Danyal, whispering to Damian: I do not think that’s what he wanted to hear.
6.
Stephanie at Sunday breakfast: Alright D; Kiss, marry, kill. Your options are toast, Crepes and bagel, go!
Danyal: Kiss bagel, marry crepes and kill toast.
Duke: You don’t like toast?
Danyal: I don’t like box bread in general.
Tim: Why?
Danyal: It’s the Karen of breads.
Jason: Wtf?
7.
Dick walks into the living room to watch some T.V. before patrol and finds Cass recording something on the couch with her cellphone, Cass signals him to stay quiet as he walks closer to her. When Dick sees what his sister is recording his heart almost melts due to pure cuteness overdose. There, curled up on the couch with a sleeping Alfred the cat is a sleeping Danyal, both content and both purring.
Dick, crying: Send it to the family chat.
Cass nods in agreement.
8.
Danyal accompanies Damian and John to patrol around Gotham.
Danyal: Thank you for been his brother while I was away.
John: Thank you for saving him and for coming back.
Damian: What are you two doing up there?! I can’t fly you jerks!
9.
Danyal while helping Barbara update her firewalls.
Barbara: Are you sure this is safe?
Danyal, while drawing Tecnus’ summoning circle with a white glass marker on Barbara’s computer: Do not worry, Barbara, Tecnus will make sure no one messes with your systems ever again.
Barbara: That’s not what I mean.
10.
Danyal enters the kitchen and hides behind Alfred: Please make Damian stop.
Damian entering the kitchen right that instant: It is only fair Danyal.
Alfred standing between the twins: What is this about boys?
Danyal: Damian wants me to attend the gala instead of him.
Damian: It is only fair, Pennyworth. I’ve attended these ridiculous pleasantries for far too long, it is only fair for Danyal to take my place in some.
Alfred: Oh, but young master Danyal is also attending this one.
Danyal: What?!
Damian: Justice!
Alfred: The launching of the new product it’s just an excuse, this party was actually planned by Master Bruce and master Timothy to make your official social debut, young master. Master Bruce has even called Mister Clark and misses Lois for the surprise press conference.
Danyal: Ugh!
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seiwas · 1 day
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₊˚⊹。 here’s to hoping (cause i can’t stop calling) | gojo satoru
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wc: 1.1k
summary: gojo calls, and you spend it half-wishing you weren’t broken up. 
contains: gn!reader, exes to ???, alcohol, mentions of going to the club, gojo is bad at being an ex, complicated feelings, ambiguous ending, kind of hurt/comfort. 
a/n: writing this as my copium, i haven’t written gojo outside of col in so long so this was challenging, but equally as exciting! some songs that inspired this are: better than this - lauv & oh, gemini - role model.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: calling your ex drunk at two a.m. with feelings still stuck in your throat
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“Well, well, well… miss me already?”
The clock on your kitchen wall reads some time between 2:05 and 2:10. Even when you squint, the little lines remain a drunken blur. 
You blame it on the alcohol. 
“Don’t be shy now.” the voice on your phone continues, shaking you out of focus. 
Had you been any more sober, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. 
Had you been any more sober, the throbbing in your head wouldn’t have persisted from the sound of—
“Gojo–” you sigh. 
“Satoru.” he interrupts, a full pause before he continues, softer, “It’s Satoru, remember?” 
Had you been any more sober, you wouldn’t have even answered his call. 
You haul your bag up sluggishly, the chains of the strap clacking against your countertop. Patience is a ticking time bomb when you’re this inebriated, the heavy bass from earlier tonight still thumping its way within your brain. 
You can’t think straight. 
“Satoru,” a name now foreign but still so close to home; it burns on your tongue, trickles bittersweet down your throat, “you called. What do you need?” 
It’s stupid of you to ask, you know, because Gojo’s been calling you like this since the day you broke up months ago. You’d picked up the first few times, but quickly realized that it wasn’t good for the both of you—you’d never move on, and Gojo would never let you go. 
Except—
“You picked up.” 
—liquor makes for poor company when it only serves to soften the anger you’ve built up as protection. It really is all the alcohol’s fault. 
Your eyes burn as you squeeze them shut, sighing, a twisted exhale, “You have to stop, Satoru.” 
“Stop what?” he feigns, the lilt at the end a sure sign of the most insufferable smirk. 
The thought of it makes you sick, makes you ache with memories of pinching his nose at the sight of it. He used to giggle then; now, he chuckles on the other end. 
That’s the question, isn’t it? Stop what?
Since the break-up, Gojo’s been acting like nothing’s changed. He still calls you just as much, still texts you with undertones that tread the fine line between flirty and ‘just Gojo’. Your toiletries are still at his apartment, and his clothes are still in your closet. 
You’d find humor in it if not for the fact that all of it has been so goddamn confusing.
He started it; he broke up with you. 
Shouldn’t he be pushing you away? 
To this day, you have no full closure, no other reason other than an ‘it’s better this way’ followed by a continuous stream of mixed signals because how he treats you is still the same. 
“Stop calling,” a lump forms in your throat, an admission you’ve had to remind yourself again and again, “we’re not together anymore.”
“I can’t call a friend?” 
You snort, fiddling with the metal links of your bag strap, “Is that what we are?” 
A pause. Slippers shifting on floorboards. They sound just like the sleepless nights he’d shuffle out of bed. 
You can picture him on the other end, head tilted and leant back on the plush leather of his couch. He hums but doesn’t answer you—he never does when it can mean something. 
“You still sound the same.” 
And you don’t expect it at this moment, to get so choked up over how he sounds over radio waves, but he says the words a little too fondly for you not to notice. Gojo’s always teased that he can pinpoint your voice from the moment you speak the first word.
You don’t mean to give him any more authority over your feelings than he already has, but the words slip out before you can catch yourself, “You’re being unfair.”  
Another hum. His tone shifts to something lighter, more teasing, “Like you aren’t. Always typing, never sending…”
The huff that punctuates his sentences paints itself vividly with a small pout. 
“Stop staring at my chat box then.” is all you can muster, the ache spreading throughout your chest. 
“Afraid I can’t.”
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“You’re impossible.” your eyes begin to feel wet, your sniffle concealing itself as you clear your throat. 
The silence that follows is uncharacteristic of your relationship with Gojo, even more of the man you know, but you find it filled to the brim with all the possibilities of what went wrong—of things you know he’ll never say out loud.
You know Gojo has issues; they presented themselves well enough in the year you were together. Being with him is accepting that you’ll be reading between the lines your entire life. 
He is simultaneously touchy but distant, vocal but elusive in his affections; he drapes himself over you every chance he gets, but when you touch him in places no one else has, you think a storm swirls cyan in his irises. Gojo gives compliments like candies on Halloween, but he keeps his feelings close to his chest, locked away like presents tightly wrapped under a Christmas tree. 
This is why you never saw it coming. 
This is why there was no hint, no sign of him ever wanting to break things off when he did.
‘Let’s stop dating’ with no warning. 
“Had fun tonight?” he asks so casually, like it doesn’t tell you a million things—how he still has your location on his phone, how he’s still checking on you, Six Eyes or not. 
Tonight was okay, all things considered. You don’t go to clubs often, but your friends kept you company; the music boomed just a tad bit louder than you’re used to, and the drinks were good, but—
“You would have hated it.” 
If Gojo were there, you would have stayed 10 minutes tops. He’d whine about being bored but you’d be able to tell, from the slight furrow of his brows and the clenching of his jaw that it’s because one of his migraines is forming. 
“Good thing I’d have you, then.” 
There are half-truths in jokes like this, a dangerous thing to say when you both know he could still have you if he wanted.
“Stop flirting, it’s annoying.” you try to steel your voice, pushing down the false hope rising in your chest. 
“You love it, though.”
The pain sears you, hurts when he says the word so lightly, as if he isn’t aware that you know love is the reason he had to break things off prematurely. As if he doesn’t know that you’re still in love with him, that you’re still putting faith in a tragedy. 
“Do you even know what loving something feels like?” 
The line remains silent, save for the softest sound of his breath hitching. 
You must have hit a nerve. 
He hums, an expected answer, but then he mumbles, words spoken so faintly, so quietly, you’re surprised they even came through. 
“Yeah, I do.”
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a/n: wanted to use this as dialogue practice because i think gojo’s dialogue is one of the trickiest to nail! i also found it so fun exploring this kind of dynamic with him!! i subtly hint on some of gojo’s personal issues but don’t explicitly state it to leave room for interpretation! the ending is ambiguous for that same reason.
thank you notes: @stellamancer for helping me out so much with this 🥺 practically beta-ing it, really 🥺 ily niku 🥺 in my head, gojo does not exist without you 🥺 & @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @scarabrat @soumies for being my lil cheerleaders always 🥺 ily all 🥺
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
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byuntrash101 · 3 days
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more of a cat person
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f!reader x lee minho smut | mdni 1.8k it's your boyfriend's birthday and you gift him a... dog collar? Well not exactly... the collar is in deed for you but the gift is definitely for him nsfw tags under the cut
#28: pet play (twt p☆rnlink) pet play, dog collar and leash, a lot of teasing because i mean it's lee minho, oral (m), minho is an ass man (ofc), one spank, backshots, dacryphilia (he's a sadist <3), mild degradation, a lot of praising, he's gentle when he's gotta and then he gets rough because you both lil freaks, light breathplay at the very end, squirting, creampie ♡
a/n : im backkkk. honestly that one was so fun to write and so different. i hope you like it <333
3k celebration | skz masterlist | navigation
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“A dog… collar?” Minho tilted his head quizzically as he held the odd item in his hand and set the small present box aside on the coffee table. “You know I’m more of a cat person, right?” he raised one eyebrow, slightly turning to you making the leather couch creek quietly.
“It’s not for you, dummy” you said, sliding between your boyfriend’s thighs, sitting on your heels, your knees resting on the soft rug. “It’s for me” you delicately took the collar from his hands and wrapped it around your own neck.
“It’s my birthday and you’re getting yourself a gift-... oh” Minho’s words trailed off when he finally understood where you were getting at. 
“Oh don’t get me wrong the collar is for me but the gift is definitely for you, Min” you said letting a little smirk pull on your lips as you flipped the golden tag. Minho reached out to it and swiped his thumb over the engraved writing.
“Minho’s bitch” he whispered. He liked what he was seeing, he knew that much by the way his cock was jumping between his thigh as he heard the metallic clink of the hook around your neck and you slipped in his hand the leash that came along the pretty pink collar.
“A pretty little fucktoy for my birthday, huh?” Minho twisted the leather around his wrist once, twice and tugged at the leash making you draw closer. “Aren’t I lucky?”
The way his eyes darkened with obscene thoughts made you squeeze your thighs together. Minho always liked to be in control and you knew this gift was going to be effective. But you didn’t picture he would get into the role this quickly.
“So you’ll do everything I ask you to tonight?” he said, taking his available hand and tenderly rubbing your cheek. His hands were warm and gentle.
“Everything” you whispered, eyes fluttering close, letting your cheek rest against his hand, quite literally melting in his touch. But you felt the leash being tugged sharply again pulling you even closer and making your eyes snap open.
“Tsk tsk” Minho clicked his tongue, raising an eyebrow. “Never heard a dog speak before” his smirk was downright evil as he was looking down at you, keeping a certain tension on the leash to make sure he was having your undivided attention as he was disciplining you. “Bark for me, bitch. Bark for your owner.”
He was hanging from your lips, eagerly anticipating hearing you submit to him in the form of giving away your human right to speak.
“Woof woof” you uttered and Minho swore he felt his cock leaking at the tip right there and then. He was so painfully hard for you. And you could feel it, you wanted to relieve him, be good for your master. But you couldn’t say anything.
So you nuzzled him, you buried your face between his thighs, rubbing your burning cheek on his even hotter cock, feeling it respond to you through the fabric of his jeans.
“Awww, puppy. I think I understand what you want”
With his available hand Minho unzipped his pants and pulled out his leaking and raging hard cock. You swallowed thickly like a dog that was presented with his favourite treat, and that wasn't too far from the truth. You opened your mouth patiently waiting.
“Good girl” Minho praised as he breached your lips, feeling your hot wet tongue on his tip, he sighed at the contact and you moaned as his taste was filling your mouth again. You instantly felt the tension melting away from your shoulders. Kneeling between your boyfriend’s thigh was your favourite place on earth, where you belonged. And Minho also knew that much. 
You began sucking his cock, bobbing your head up and down until your drool was soaking his balls and making his jeans sticky and wet. He sighed every time you spent more time focussing on his cock head. You picked up the pace and took him deeper with every groan and sigh. It was the only things you could hear: him, the lewd and wet slurping noises and the clinking of the metal tag around your neck.
“Stay” Minho said in a commanding tone, pulling on the leash again when you were fitting him whole inside your mouth. “Look at me” 
How he loved to see you like that, watery heart eyes looking up at him, mouth filled to the brim with his cock. He was so close to cumming, shooting his huge load so deep in you it would probably go out through your nose but he couldn't. Not right now. He had to enjoy his birthday gift a little longer.
He tugged at the leash again but this time to get you off his painfully sensitive cock. He needed to feel your throbbing cunt around him. And he needed it now.
“Take off your clothes”
Without much thought you obeyed peeling off one article of clothing after the other until you were in your simplest form apart from the pretty pink collar. 
“Bedroom. Now.” You were eager, your sticky juices clinging onto your thighs and you hurriedly took a step towards your shared bedroom but once again the leash stopped you.
“Awww, puppy.” Minho tilted his head and gave a mock concerned half smile. “I wanna see you crawl.” He took your face into a gentle hold and urged you on your knees again. “Like a good little bitch. Right?”
“Woof woof” 
“Good girl”
You started crawling on all fours across the living space and through the hall. Closely followed by Minho, looking at your ass roll with every step. He always liked looking at you from behind, your ass was probably his favourite thing about you so you knew he was admiring you back there, taking in the breathtaking view.
“Up” he said once you reached the bed and you climbed up. “Stay right there. Nice and pretty for me.” You felt him grab your hips and pull you to the edge of the bed while you were still on all fours. Then you heard him fumble with his belt and shed the clothes he was wearing before you felt him palm your ass, fingers spread out to cup it, groping the flesh while his other hand was still tightly holding onto the leash. 
He landed a crisp slap on your ass, making you whimper. Music to his ears. You had to bite your lips to refrain from begging for more.
But the idea was quickly gone when you felt his tip rub along your slick folds, lewd wet noises erupting from the act.
“Look at how fucking wet you got from sucking on my cock and prancing naked on all fours” He spread you ass with both hands, looking at you pretty pussy open up for him, more slick gushing out of the slit. “You really are a bitch. A cock hungry little whore.”
There were so many things you wanted to say, you wanted to say thank you, wanted to ask him to pull on the leash more, you wanted to beg for his cock. But you were determined to obey him, be a good girl for him and you stayed silent apart from the occasional whimpering complaints, which Minho tolerated.
So it was only understandable that you felt your cunt dangerously throb as soon as he pushed his cock inside. You waited for him for so long, you almost came undone as soon as you felt his tip gently kissing your cervix. But you couldn’t yet, not without disappointing your master so you clenched your jaw, fisted the sheets and grunted. Trying so hard to refrain yourself and it worked, somehow.
“Gooood girlll" Minho said, voice a little strained, he probably also was trying to hold himself back, that would explain why he hadn’t started moving yet. 
“Fucckkk” he sighed as soon as he started pumping his cock in and out of you, at first very slowly. The kind of pace that was driving you mad, and he knew it but that’s what he liked. He loved to make you suffer. And you heard the maniacal laugh when he felt you squirm under him, pathetically trying to fuck yourself back on his cock, matching his rhythm, biting your lips almost until you drew blood to keep your pitifully little pleas behind your teeth. Minho couldn't see but he knew you were crying right now. Thick tears rolling off your burning cheeks from the sheer frustration of being fucked too slowly after this much teasing. And he loved every second of it. He loved breaking you to put you back together. You were his toy.
“Your bitch cunt is so fucking wet and tight for me. You want more? Want me to fuck faster huh?” he picked up the pace.
“woofwoofwoofwoof” you mumbled incoherently.
“Good girl, what a good little bitch you are being for Master” Now he was hammering into you. “Hghh Fuck-” His nails dug into your side as he continued to smash himself into you, drawing more slick out of your throbbing little pussy. 
Minho knew he was close and he needed to make sure you would finish before he did. He might have been a psycho sadist but he was still your loving boyfriend and he wanted you to be satisfied.
“Now you’re gonna cum for me baby, ok?” he pulled on the leash again, making your neck awkwardly bend back. The pink collar dug into your skin restricting the blood flow to your brain. 
It was exhilarating. You were deliciously light headed, your ears were ringing, Minho’s words became unintelligible, and you felt your heart beat in your pussy every time Minho was smashing inside. You thought you couldn’t possibly feel better then that but then you felt Minho hand left your waist to press on your clit. He didn’t even need to rub it, only pressing it lightly was enough to send you over the edge, making your cunt gush out more cum as you pulsed and throbbed around your boyfriend’s cock. 
And he couldn't take it anymore, not when you were this wet, literally dripping over the sheets and not when you were milking him dry demanding to be filled to the brink with his hot cum. The least he could do was grant your wish. With a low agonizing groan and a final deep thrust he delivered his load as deep as he could, effectively creaming your little cunt until it oozed out of your abused hole. His dick was still twitching when he pulled, half hard.
He finally let go of the leash and your wits are quick to come back before you crash on your stomach, too bad for the sheets ruined by cum leaking out your pussy. Minho crashed beside you seconds later, panting, his hand haphazardly looking for yours. He brought it to his lips to lay a gentle kiss on it, before smiling adorably at you. There was nothing left of the darkness that was clouding his gaze a few seconds ago. Now he was looking at you with round loving eyes and his signature bunny smile that melted your heart.
“Happy birthday, baby”
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3k celebration | skz masterlist | navigation
a/n: ugggghhhhh why is pet play + minho such a good combo thoughhh???? anyways if you enjoyed and reblog or comment before midnight i will be summoned into your bedroom tonight and i will talk for hours about my hyperfixations. you've been warned <3
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imaginespazzi · 3 days
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Part 7: Home
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to (us)
(In which with bittersweet feelings, a nostalgic writer, finally writes the end of the story)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst and Fluff
Words: 7.1K
TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Hello my loves! I can't believe we've actually reached the end, who would have thought huh? I'm not sure if there will be an epilogue, mainly cause I don't know what I'd write but never say never. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter and if I've done the end I pictured justice but I really hope y'all like it anyways. There's a fair amount of creative liberty taken with WNBA logistics but please just accept it for the plot. Per usual, did I edit? Yes. Are there grammar mistakes and typos anyways? Yes. As always, let me know what you liked and disliked. And finally, to all my lovelies who have liked, reblogged, commented, sent in an ask, dm-ed me or simply just silently read this fic, I just wanna say thank you guys so, so, much, y'all have made writing every word worth it and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it <3
August 2018
Paige swears, tonight, there are stars in the Minnesota night sky she’s never seen before in her life. The summer sky has darkened with nightfall, yet the shine of the moon and its companions make it still seem ever so bright. Or maybe, it’s just the girl lying next to Paige that makes tonight feel luminescent, sparkling with the promises of something not quite like friendship that Paige has never felt before. She’d spent the whole day with Azzi at the Minnesota State fair, trying to suppress these new butterflies in her stomach that seemed to have taken birth over their time in Latvia. Or well, maybe they’d been there from the start, but they’d really only started this dance of theirs, the one that makes Paige feel all tingly when Azzi smiles, over the course of this summer. 
“Paige it’s cold, stop hogging the blanket,” Azzi chastises, breaking Paige from a trance, as she tugs on the pink and purple blanket covering the two of them, “I knew we should have brought two of them.”
“It’s barely on me” Paige argues for the sake of arguing but she shifts anyway to allow the younger girl to pull the blanket, so clearly meant for one person, a little more towards her, “besides, it’s about sharing body heat.”
“You’re not even warm enough to share body heat,” Azzi mocks as she makes a show of tracing a finger down Paige’s arm and everything in the blonde feels like it’s been lit on fire at the touch. And she wonders if Azzi feels it too, the electricity, the sparks of this could ruin me that scatter through her veins before finding themselves setting her heart ablaze. It’s too much and Paige shakes Azzi’s hand off with a little more force than she means too. 
When Azzi sends her questioning look, she splutters through an excuse, “your hands are cold too. Can we just do the boring shit we’re here to do.”
"Stargazing is not boring,” Azzi says indignantly, opening the little stargazing booklet she’d brought with her, flicking through the pages looking for something specific. 
To be honest, sitting still in an open field and squinting at the sky trying to figure out a distant constellation isn’t really Paige’s brand of entertainment. She’s a fidgety person by nature, constantly embroiled in the urge to be moving. But Azzi had brought it up the other day, with pleading eyes and a hopeful grin and well, sometimes it felt sinful to deny Azzi of anything she wants. And that’s how they’d ended up at a campsite, not too far from the State fair, lying on the grass, heads tilted towards each other, with a single blanket shielding them from the summer breeze. 
“Okay,” Azzi says after a while, using her fingers to point out a pattern in the sky, “I think that one’s Cassiopeia.”
“If you say so,” Paige nods, not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking at. 
“Paaaaige,” Azzi whines, “focus.”
“Dude I can barely see anything, the fuck am I supposed to focus o-”
Before Paige can finish her sentence, she feels herself being pulled by the younger girl, the side of her body fitting into the crook’s of Azzi’s like a perfect puzzle piece. She looks over at the brunette, and the protest dies on the tip of her tongue, as she realises just how close Azzi is to her now, all semblance of air leaving her lungs. Paige gulps, eyes tracing every inch of her best friend’s face, stopping of their own accord at Azzi’s lips, before guiltily flashing back to meet the younger girl’s eyes which are just as focused on Paige. And it feels like there’s no force in this world right now that could make either of them look away. Except maybe the force of friends don’t do this. 
“Just focus,” Azzi breaks contact first, turning her face back at the stars, before gently grabbing hold of Paige’s hand so she can guide it in the pattern of the constellation. And Paige still doesn’t really see it, doesn’t even particularly care about seeing it, but if it gets Azzi to hold her hand, soft skin putting light pressure against her palm, she thinks she’ll try to see some random lines in the sky forever. 
“It’s pretty.”
“You don’t see it do you?”
“Nope,” Paige’s grin widens when Azzi chuckles, shaking her head fondly. Something in her blooms, delighted at being the reason for that. And she’s always prided herself in being funny, she thinks of herself as a little bit of a comedian really, but she’s never wanted to make anyone laugh quite as much as she wants to make Azzi laugh. 
“Well that’s enough stargazing for us then,” Azzi rolls her eyes, closing her little booklet and making a move to sit up but Paige is quicker, pulling the younger girl back down and interlocking their fingers. Her own overeagerness causes a tinge of embarrassment to race up her cheeks, and she hopes it’s dark enough that Azzi won’t see the pale pink blush taking over her face. 
“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?”
“Yeah okay let’s stay longer,,” Azzi agrees  and sometimes when Azzi speaks like that, her voice lyrically soft with a secret smile hidden in it, Paige wonders if maybe it would be okay to hope for, to feel something more because maybe, just maybe, Azzi feels it too. 
“You know you should come to the state championship,” Paige says after a second of silence, trying to keep her voice nonchalant but she can hear the wishfulness bleeding into it anyways. 
Azzi raises an eyebrow, “isn’t that in March? That’s like months and months away.”
“Yeah but- well-” Paige shrugs, cheeks burning just a little bit, “you probably wanna book in advance cause like tickets and stuff you know?”
“You don’t even know if you’ll be in the state championship. There’s still a whole season to go.”
“Oh I know. I know we’re definitely gonna be there.” Paige smirks, cockiness back in full-fledged form. 
“Then I’ll be there,” Azzi says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you better win though Bueckers.”
“Watch me,” and she’s jutting her chest out in arrogance sure, but really everything inside her is swelling with something else, a feeling she’s starting to understand a little too well, a feeling that terrifies her, a feeling she doesn’t think she’s quite ready to let herself feel yet, “it would be nice you know, to win a championship together at some point.”
“I don’t think my parents would be on board with moving to Minnesota.”
“I’m sure I could convince them,” Paige feels a little giddy at the thought, “but I meant more like college, like UConn.”
It’s a topic they’ve stumbled upon a couple of times, with each other, and with the other girls at Team USA. And as much as Paige would love for her other teammates to follow her to her dream school, she’s practical enough to know they might have other priorities. But the thing is that with the rest of the girls, it’s just something she’d like to happen but with Azzi, now that Paige has said it out loud, she’s beginning to realise how desperately she wants that, her and Azzi, on the same team, fighting the same battles and winning the same wars, together. 
“Don’t think you can win a national championship without me Bueckers?” Azzi smirks, twisting her head towards Paige, eyebrows cocked in arrogance. 
“Of course I can,” Paige’s face softens, the vulnerability that only ever seems to come out around her best friend seeping on to her features, “but I think it would be fun to win one with you. Someday.”
“Someday, “ Azzi whispers back, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze, and then her eyes widen at the sky, “holy shit is that a shooting star? Oh my god Paige look up, quick, it’s beautiful.”
In the dark of the night, a rare flicker of gold shoots across the obsidian Minnesota sky. Paige has never seen one before but it seems fitting really, that she’d see one tonight. 
“We have to make a wish,” she whispers and Azzi, never one to really believe, rolls her eyes but she follows Paige’s lead, closing her eyes. And the thing is Paige could wish for a lot of things really, but she finds herself thinking of only one word that sums up all she could ever want: someday.
***
August 2026 
They’ve been playing against each other for years now and yet the thrill of the face-off still hasn’t quite worn off. Back in the handful of games in high school, it had been quickfire friendly trash talk, two best friends going at it like the competitors they were. College had been drastically different, each game, each play, underlined with the tension of two people who still hadn’t quite figured it out. But Paige thinks her favourite version of them as opponents is definitely this one, the one where they might be on different teams in the WNBA, but off the court, they both know they’re on the same side, together. 
Their relationship isn’t quite a secret; it would have been impossible to hide if after the kiss at the 2025 national championship. But they’d kept as quiet about it as possible, skillfully dodging media questions, wanting to shelter it from the prying eyes of the public. It makes playing each other on national television, just that little bit more entertaining, trying to keep things as cordial as possible. If Paige’s hands end up just a little too close to Azzi’s waist, lingering a little longer than necessary against the patch of skin she’d marked with a hickey earlier this morning, and it makes the younger girl shiver, then that’s just a tactic to win. And if Azzi breathes seductive thoughts of what she’d like to do after the game when guarding Paige, and it makes the blonde want to turn around and kiss the smirk off of her girlfriend’s lips, well that’s just another innovative defensive strategy. 
“Be a good girl for me and move,” Paige whispers, the double entendre in her voice apparent, as she tries to dribble the ball past Azzi. There’s only a minute or so left in the last meeting of the regular season between Paige’s Lynx and Azzi’s Mystics -funny how that had worked out-  and the score is painfully close, with the Mystics closing in on the Lynx’s two point-lead. 
“Always a good girl for you P,” Azzi smirks, her voice the quietest it could possibly be, but Paige hears her next words like they’re on a loudspeaker in the area,  “it’s why I’m wearing your favourite purple panties.”
It takes a second, a second where Paige’s eyes gloss over with lust, as her mind rushes back to the last time she’d seen, the last time she’d touched the silky undergarment, for the ball to be stolen from her hands. She’s a step too slow to recover and by that time Azzi’s already scored the easy lay-up to tie up the game, a mischievous grin adorning her normally stoic game face. 
On the other end of the court, Napheesa draws a foul and Paige and Azzi end up next to each for free throws. Paige is seething, unsure if the heat curling up her spine is from the game or the girl standing next to her. 
“Sorry baby, all’s fair in love and war right?” Azzi teases, pinky brushing against the blonde’s, “I’ll make it up to you later if you want.”
“You’re such a fucking menace,” Paige practically growls. She does want, in fact she’d like it right now if it was possible. Two years they’ve been together, longer if you count the inbetween, and still, every time Azzi lights a match, Paige feels herself burn just as brightly as the first time she’d felt that magnetic pull. 
“Learnt from the best,” Azzi hums with a grin as Napheesa hits both free throws. 
The rest of the game passes in a blur of frenzied shots and hurried fouls but the Lynx pull out an eventual, much-needed win, to better their chances of clinching a higher seed in the playoffs. After missing the playoffs in 2024, the Lynx, despite having relatively low odds, had secured the no.1 pick and there had never really been a doubt that they would pick Paige. She’d helped the team get back to the playoffs last season but they hadn’t made it out of the first round. A championship doesn’t seem quite possible yet, but Paige has her fingers crossed that they’d at least make it to a semi-final this time. 
“The two of you are terrible at this,” Aaliyah’s the first person to hug Paige during the handshake line, “I thought you’d jump each other’s bones in the middle of the game today.”
“We’re not that bad,” Paige rolls her eyes at her former teammate. She high-fives a few more of the Mystics team until she gets to Azzi, who’s already smiling, despite the loss. The cameras are quick to crowd them, clearly wanting a more sensational picture than the one they’re likely to get. Still, despite the unwanted attention, Paige lets herself nestle into the crook of Azzi’s neck. 
“You owe me twice tonight,” she whispers into the younger girl’s ear, “one for the win and one for that bullshit you pulled on the court tonight.”
Azzi’s voice is breathless when she replies, “I can give you way more than two.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“It’s a promise.”
***
“With the new rules, after this season you’ll be a free agent, have you given any thought to that?”
Waiting for the Lynx’s turn in the media room, Paige hadn’t been paying much attention to the questions being asked to the Mystics players, her focus solely on how hot her girlfriend always looked post games. But the words ‘free agent’ pique her interest. The W had changed the rookie contract rules for first round draftees to two years and that meant both Paige and Azzi would be free agents after this year. But while it hadn’t reached the media quite yet, the Lynx were likely to use their core designation on Paige. Which meant the only one of them making any decision about next season would be Azzi. It was a subject the two of them were cautiously tip-toeing around, using the shield of distance to avoid talking about what it could mean for them. 
“I’m focused on the season, this team and the rest of our games. I’m not really thinking about the future,” Azzi answers diplomatically. 
“You’ve obviously got very strong ties to the DC area but you also went to UCLA, if the Sparks or maybe even the Valkyries, considering your connection to Steph Curry, were interested, and there have been rumours that they are, would you consider it?” the same reporter prods. 
“Again, I’m not currently thinking about any of that,” to anyone else Azzi probably sounds neutral but Paige has studied the sheet music of Azzi’s voice to the point where she knows what’s hidden behind every note, behind every little indent. The tinge of irritation is masked by a smile, but the line of questioning is clearly unappreciated. 
“And what about the Lynx?” the persistently oblivious reporter continues and this time Paige sucks in a breath, “you have some ties to that team don't you? Have you given some thought to maybe going there?”
Azzi’s eye twitches ever so slightly, “the Lynx just beat my team. The only thoughts I have right now are about how to beat them next time.”
That elicits a laugh from the media and finally the rather obtuse reporters seem to understand that he’s not going to be able to pry anything newsworthy from Azzi’s mouth. But even if he hasn’t achieved his desired effect, he’s succeeded in making Paige’s mind start running in circles. She hadn’t let herself think about it yet, the potential of Azzi joining the Lynx, the potential of playing with Azzi, the potential of finally just being with Azzi. Because facing the potential for all of that, facing all the things she wants means also facing the potential that maybe Azzi doesn’t want any of that. 
***
The air in Paige’s living room is thick with a suffocating tension as she and Azzi sit on opposite ends of the couch. It reminds Paige a little bit of the before, a dreaded version of them she’d foolishly thought they grown out of, until something reminiscent of their past problems had reared its ugly head, and suddenly it feels a bit like she’s playing a losing game. 
“Will you please stop that,” she bites out, referring to where Azzi’s foot is incessantly tapping on the wooden floors, “it’s giving me a headache.”
Azzi’s eyes narrow, flashing with irritation, “is it my tapping or the alcohol giving you a headache Paige?”
“I didn’t even drink that much,” Paige says through gritted teeth and Azzi scoffs. 
It’s a lie. After both teams were done with post game pressers, she, Azzi and a couple of the other girls had ended up at a local bar as they often did when the other team didn’t have to fly out til the next day. Paige had been tense the whole evening and trying to pretend not to be, especially when Azzi could see right through her façade, had only made the whole thing worse. She wasn’t one to drink too much, always happy just being sufficiently tipsy but then she’d gotten in her head too much. And when the first shot didn’t quite hit the way she needed it to, she’d kept on going, receiving worried looks from all the girls, until Azzi had finally stepped in. The ride back from the bar had been a sobering experience, one look at Azzi’s stoic face, giving away her irritation. 
“That’s why you still reek of tequila?” 
“How the fuck would you know? You haven’t come near me all night.” 
“Don’t you dare try and turn this on me Paige. I tried to talk to you all night til you decided you wanted to act like freshman frat boy,” Azzi spits out, hurt and anger colliding in her voice, “we barely get to spend time together during the season and the one night in forever that we do, you pull this shit?”
They haven’t had an argument like this since they’ve been officially together, the kind of argument that has them balancing on a delicate tight rope, too afraid to take a step backwards in their relationship, and too prideful to take a step forward towards each other. 
“I didn’t think you cared about spending time together during the season,” Paige accuses and there’s a sensible part of her, one that’s currently being held captive by the dangers of liquor, that knows it’s a ridiculous allegation. 
Azzi stares at her, lips opening and closing in disbelief, “excuse me?”
“It’s pretty simple really Azzi. If you wanna spend the whole season together, the option is right fucking there, but I- I can’t even tell if you’re interested in taking it,” Paige is pacing now, teeth gnawing at her lips like they always do when she’s nervous. 
“What- what are you even talking about?” Azzi asks, clearly confused. 
“Free fucking agency. They asked you about it and you said you hadn’t thought about it at all. That’s really great to hear Az, really great to know you haven’t thought about how that could literally change our whole fucking life,” and even as the words waterfall out of her mouth, Paige knows she’s being unreasonable, but the mix of stress and alcohol churning in her stomach is just enough to keep her from taking the words back. 
“I didn’t- that’s not even what I said. Jesus fucking christ Paige,” Azzi rubs her face, looking defeated.
“So you have thought about it then?”
“Of course I’ve thought about it, “ Azzi throws her hands up, “but I wasn’t gonna tell the media about all of that. But you- you seriously think I haven’t thought about what this means for us? You don’t- do you really think I’m not thinking about you- about us- while trying to make this decision?”
“Well you definitely didn’t think of me- of us- when you chose UCLA,” Paige’s eyes widen at her own words, knowing immediately that of all things she could have said, those were the worst ones, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”
In front of her, Azzi has gone deathly still, face completely devoid of emotion, until the first tear drops and all of Paige’s anger dissipates, the guilt clawing back with full force. 
“I thought we were over that,” Azzi whispers, voice trembling, as she looks down at her hands, “but maybe we’ll never be over that.”
“We are,” Paige sinks to her knees in front of the younger girl, tugging Azzi’s hands into her own, “we are over it. I just- it just slipped out.”
Azzi’s quiet for a moment before she pulls her hands out of the blonde’s grip, sidestepping her as she stands up and Paige feels empty and cold and just a little bit broken. 
“Are you leaving?” she whispers, peering up at Azzi through tear soaked eyelashes. 
“I think I should, before anything else just slips out,” Paige flinches and Azzi’s expression softens, “I know- I know you didn’t mean it like that but I just- I need some space.”
Panic filters into Paige’s lungs, wrapping its dirty hands and squeezing so tight that she can barely breathe. She’s not sure when she’ll see Azzi again, now that there’s no more Lynx-Mystics games left in the regular season and it’s unlikely with their expected seedings that they’d meet at some point in the playoffs. It’s not like distance is new to them, but in the last two years, they’ve only ever said goodbye with an i love you attached to the end. 
“Are you-,” Paige gasps for air, “are you leaving me?”
And it must be written all over Paige's face, just how petrified she is of this moment, because that's all it takes for Azzi to rush back into Paige’s space, hands cupping her cheeks, “oh baby of course not. I just- you’re still drunk and I’m upset and I don’t want us to say anything we don’t mean. And I- need time to think about free agency and I think you- you need time to think about why that slipped out.”
Paige sighs, melting into Azzi’s touch as the knots in her stomach begin to untangle themselves, “you’re so logical.”
“Someone has to be,” a half-smile flitters across the younger girl’s face as she wipes at Paige’s tears, “we’ll figure this out okay? Just- just give me a little bit of time.”
Give me time. It’s a familiar line, so similar to what Azzi had asked for when she was making a decision about college and Paige would be lying if she said there isn’t a part of her that’s terrified fate is going to make them repeat the same mistakes. But part of growing up, Paige surmises, is letting time test you with the same trials and tribulations, and the next time, coming out of the other end on the right side. 
And so she squeezes Azzi’s hand, matching the younger girl's half smile, with a soothing one of her own, “okay.”
***
November 2027 
Paige doesn't know when she ended up in a love triangle with Azzi and the state of California but she wishes she was competing against an actual person. At least then she could throw a punch at the other guy. The W season is barely over and it seems like every front office has thrown themselves headfirst into convincing free agents to join their team. There’s a couple of teams interested in Azzi, but no one seems to be trying harder than the Los Angeles Sparks. Paige thinks whoever gave that city a name meaning “the angels” could not have been more wrong because really it’s a city full of devils constantly trying to steal her girl and no she’s not being dramatic. 
They’re supposed to be leaving for thanksgiving dinner when Azzi’s phone rings and Paige can’t help but roll her eyes when Cameron Brink’s name flashes on the CallerID. The Sparks seemed to have put her as head of their recruiting Azzi campaign and Cam had been diligently doing her part. 
“Azzi, Cam’s calling again,” Paige yells out to her girlfriend who’s still not quite finished getting ready.
“Can you pick it up?”
“Do I have to?”
“Paige,” Azzi whines and Paige sighs, hitting the green answering button. 
“The amount of times you’ve called my girlfriend this week, Brink, should I be concerned?”
“Jealous I’m replacing you as her favourite blonde?” Cam’s voice always sounds like she’s smiling and Paige can’t help her own smile. Goddamn Cameron Brink for always being the sweetest soul on this planet. 
“As if,” Paige scoffs, “it’s a holiday Cam, give the recruiting a rest.”
“Hey, I’m just calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving,” Cam defends. 
“Mmmhmm where’s my thanksgiving wish?”
“Oh please, the two of you are basically a unit. Wishing her is wishing you,” Cam is quiet for a second before speaking again, “the Sparks would be a good fit for her Paige.”
Paige sucks in a sharp breath, “I’m not the one you’re gonna have to convince.”
“I know but you know your opinion means a lot to her. I know you want her in Minnesota and she'd be good there too and I- I know it isn’t my place to say any of this but just- just don’t discourage her from doing what’s best for her,” there’s not a hint of malice in Cam’s words, there never is, but they pierce at Paige’s skin anyways. 
“Okay I’m ready, hand me the phone,” she’s saved from having to answer by Azzi waltzing into the living room and prying the phone from her hands. 
Paige watches silently as Azzi talks animatedly with Cam, noticing the way her girlfriend’s smile widens while talking about certain spots in L.A. They’d subconsciously decided not to breach the subject of free agency after that night. Paige hadn’t interfered in any of the Lynx’s conversations with Azzi, deciding that this time, she’d stay out of it. It hadn’t been easy, every little bit of her itching to pitch why the Lynx were the perfect fit, why Paige was the perfect fit, but she was determined to give Azzi the space -the time- she’d wanted. This time she’d leave the choice solely up to Azzi and whatever she decided, Paige would find her happiness in that. 
“Paige you ready to go,” Azzi waves a hand in front of Paige’s face, eyebrows raised in question when the older girl doesn’t make a move to get off the sofa, “hey, you good?”
“Cam says the Sparks would be a good fit,” Azzi stiffens at Paige’s words. 
“Paige-”
“She’s right,” Paige concedes, fingers fidgeting as she averts Azzi’s gaze. 
The younger girl blinks at her, clearly not having expected that, “she is?”
“Yeah. They need a shooting guard and you,” Paige smiles, reaching out to pull Azzi onto the couch with her, “you’re the best there is.”
“I wouldn’t go that far-”
“You are to me and it’s why I want you on the Lynx,” they both let out a breath with that. It’s not a secret of course but Paige hasn’t said it out loud before. 
“Paige-”
“But it’s okay if you don't wanna be on the Lynx, if you wanna be on the Sparks or stay here with the Mystics or on any other team, if you think it’s the right move for you and for your career then that’s fine. It’s okay and you don’t- you don’t need my permission or anything of course but I just- whatever you decide, I’ll support it okay? What I said that night about UCLA-  it wasn't- it wasn’t about you. I thought about it like you asked me to and it’s me. I was scared that I would fuck it up again and I’d lose you again-”
“You won’t,” Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze,  “I won’t let you.”
“I know. I know now that whatever happens, we’ll be okay. And so you can choose whatever team you want and it won’t- it won’t affect us, I promise. It won’t be like last time I swear. When you make your decision- I just- I don’t want you to make it for me or for us, cause you and me? Baby we’ll be just fine no matter what. Wherever you go and wherever I am, we’ll make it work, just as we have for the last two years,” Paige smirks, “besides I kinda enjoy kicking your ass.”
Azzi lets out a snort as she climbs onto Paige’s lap, thighs straddling her hips, “you really had to ruin it with that last part huh?”
“Was getting a little too sappy for me,” Paige mumbles and when she looks up, the emotions floating in Azzi’s eyes make Paige’s heart stutter. Because no one else gets this Azzi. This Azzi, who wears her heart on her sleeve, who lets her walls down, only for Paige’s eyes to see, only for Paige’s mind to memorise, only for Paige’s heart to keep. 
“You mean it?” Azzi whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of Paige’s face, touching lingering, “you’d be okay with anything?”
“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige cups Azzi’s cheeks, brushing her lips against the younger girl’s, “whatever you choose, we’ll be fine. No matter what, I believe in us.”
***
January 2028
Paige groans when her phone rings at 2 a.m., fumbling around in the dark trying to answer it. 
“I swear you better be dying if you’re calling me this late,” she grumbles into the phone, voice scratchy with sleep. 
“Not quite,” Azzi says, and Paige’s eyebrows furrow at the amount of background noise she can hear behind her girlfriend. 
“Dude where the hell are you at 3 in the morning?” she asks, now a little more awake as she sits up. 
“I uh- I had a bit of a revelation,” and Paige can practically picture Azzi, wherever she might be, fidgeting with her fingers and biting her lips. 
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
“I know. I know. Shit, I was supposed to do this in person. I had a whole plan but apparently being with you has made me impatient,” Azzi rambles. 
“You’re still not making any sense,” but Paige’s heart is starting to beat erratically fast in anticipation. 
“I had this realisation while I was in the gym today, it was really quiet and peaceful and I was fine you know- all day I was fine- just doing daily routines and then I just- I missed you. I miss you all the time do you know that?”
Paige does know, knows it far too well. Sometimes she thinks missing Azzi comes as naturally as breathing, an innate part of her day to day, a constant ache that she’s felt since she was 15. 
“I miss you too,” she whispers. 
“And I’ve learned to survive with that feeling, with missing you constantly. I mean it’s been more than 10 years at this point, how could I not? But what I realised today is that just because I can- just because I can live missing you- doesn’t mean I want to.”
“What are you saying Azzi?”
“DC is my childhood. My family is close to there, it’s part of where I grew up. It’ll always be my first home. And LA is where I found myself, my identity, and for a while it felt like home too.”
“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, hands gripping the phone as tight as possible, wrapping that one syllable in emblems of give me forever. 
“But my forever home isn’t in DC or LA and it’s not really in any other place either because-  Jesus this might be the clichést thing I’ve ever said but-,” Azzi lets out a chuckle, “my home is wherever you are Paige. Wherever we’re together, that’s home.”
It feels a little bit like the end of a drought, the wetness on Paige’s cheeks like the rain that comes after. In the pitch black of her room, phone clutched closely to her ear with Azzi’s words floating through it like a swan song, Paige swears she’s never felt the world glow quite like this before. 
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Beating your ass has been fun as hell but I think we’d make a pretty good team Bueckers.”
And it’s a good thing Paige’s walls are soundproof because the delighted whoop she lets out practically vibrates around the room, all previous wisps of tiredness completely gone from her body. Azzi lets out a tearful laugh and Paige wishes they were together right now so she could tattoo this happiness onto both of their skins. 
“The greatest team ever,” Paige affirms, “When are you com-”
“Attention passengers Delta Airlines Flight 1248 to Minneapolis will be boarding soon, please have your passport and ticket ready to check at the gate.”
“About that,” Azzi says shyly as Paige’s mouth drops open at the announcement, “I uh- I had a moment of spontaneity.”
“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my overthinking girlfriend?” Paige demands and Azzi giggles on the other end of line.
“I know it’s last minute, like really last minute and it was meant to be a surprise actually but I just- I really wanna see you. Is that okay?”
“Is that okay? Fuck Azzi, it’s all I want. Baby,” Paige breathes out softly, “come home.”
*** 
Time isn’t going nearly fast enough Paige thinks as she checks the arrivals board for the nth time. She’d tried for about four seconds to fall back asleep after hanging up the phone but her entire body had been buzzing with excitement. And so she’d gotten to the airport far earlier than necessary, and had maybe one too many cups of coffee if the jittery shake in her left hand is anything to go by.
She swears she feels her before she sees her. The air is electric as if the whole city, the whole state is waiting for Azzi too, for them to get their elusive forever. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. And then there’s Azzi, a clearly chosen-at-last minute wrinkled t-shirt, eyes drooping from the tiredness from not having slept all night, baby hairs in a frenzy across her forehead. To Paige, she’s still the prettiest girl in the entire universe. 
Azzi’s eyes scan through the airport until they land on Paige, a dazzling smile illuminating her exhausted features. It’s the exact same smile that Paige had first elicited from her on the flight back from Argentina when she’d told Azzi she had a feeling they'd make great friends. It’s her Paige smile. The world is still for a second, everything melting away except them and the whispers of the journey it had taken them to get to this point. Every delicately placed step towards each other feels like an ode to every year they’d spent apart. And then Paige is running, not caring about everyone else around her. She jumps into Azzi’s arm, all 6 feet of her, tangling her legs around the younger girl's waist while her arms fasten around the neck. It forces Azzi to let go of her small carry-on, not caring that it falls to the floor with a thud, as her hands wrap around Paige’s back, steadying her girlfriend’s weight on top of her. 
“You’re here,” Paige whispers, still a little in disbelief, “you’re really here.”
“I’ve been in Minny plenty of times before,” Azzi quips, adjusting her balance to properly hold the girl clinging to her like a koala. 
“Shut up you know what I mean. You’re here forever this time.”
“Well I don’t know about forever- OW,” Azzi shrieks, as Paige pinches her arm, “do you want me to drop you woman?”
“You’re never allowed to leave.”
“That sounds vaguely threatening.”
“Good because it definitely is a threat,” Paige says before pulling Azzi into a searing kiss, “welcome home baby.”
***
October 2028 
There are moments in life you remember forever. Sometimes you know they’re going to happen, sometimes they take you off guard and sometimes, it’s a combination of both. The Minnesota Lynx’s journey to the WNBA finals this season had always felt inevitable but the journey there, for a team that had unexpectedly fallen to the 4-seed despite pre-season clamour of them being number one, had been filled with bitter losses and moments of pure uncertainty. In a way, it perfectly mirrors Paige and Azzi’s relationship. 
There’s 11 seconds separating the Lynx from their 5th championship trophy as they lead the Sky by two points. The crowd is up on their feet, ready for their cheering to turn into roars the minute the final buzzer rings. Paige has the ball in her hands on the inbound, Coach Reeves yelling at her from the bench what to do, as she makes eye contact with Azzi. There are no words, not even a gesture that the other team might be able to interpret, but they know exactly what play they’re about to run.
Truth be told it hadn’t been the seamless transition the two of them had expected when Azzi joined the Lynx. They’d been naive to think years of not playing together wouldn’t have affected the backcourt chemistry they’d had almost instantly once upon a time. The first few games, there had been an embarrassing disconnect between the two of them that had resulted in a nasty berating from Coach Reeves and a subsequent argument between the two of them that had lasted into the next morning. It had taken several more practices, and a couple more games of flailing around, for them to finally become the duo Paige had always known they would. 
The game buzzer beeps and Paige throws the ball to Azzi who immediately returns it back to her, and then she’s running off screen after screen to get herself open on the wing, her sweet spot. Paige dribble penetrates into the paint, dragging an extra defender with her as they try to prevent her from getting a layup, the other defender blocks her from stepping back into a pull-up. Azzi’s defender has a momentary lapse in judgement, falling for the age-old trick of thinking she should help on defence, and that’s all it takes. A second for Paige to see Azzi open on the corner and pass it to her. A second for Azzi to shoot it. 
The three-pointer falls through the next with a perfect swish. Dagger shot. 
A small smile flits across Azzi’s face, the only emotion she’s shown all game and Paige can’t help the much larger grin that starts to flash on her own face. She can almost taste victory on the tip of her tongue, the two seconds left in the game are the only thing separating her from finally getting her version of the things we live for. Behind her she can hear Coach Reeves yelling at them to not foul, the 5-point lead enough of a cushion for them to withstand a last minute shot. But the Sky barely make it over midcourt and when Marina Mabrey heaves up a last second prayer, Paige doesn’t bother to see if it goes in as the buzzer sounds throughout Target Arena. The Minnesota crowd explodes in noise and colour as confetti falls from the sky. 
Despite the chaos of everything, Paige has never seen Azzi clearer than in this moment. Since she’d met the girl, in all of Paige’s prayers about winning a championship, one thing had always been constant, that when they’d come true, they’d come true with Azzi by her side. And she had been. The high school state champion, the college national championship, Azzi had been there for both but on the bleachers, as a spectator and as Paige’s biggest fan. But this, winning a championship with Azzi as her teammate, as her ally, as her partner, means something more. This win is theirs. 
“Do you remember when we saw that shooting star?” Azzi says softly, as they find their way into each other’s arms, not caring that there’s a thousand cameras capturing their every move. Paige pulls Azzi closer to her, every inch of her body pressing into the other girls until she’s not sure where she begins and where Azzi ends. 
“That was years ago,” Paige remarks but she can see it clearly, two young girls underneath the stars, unaware of what their future would be but sure that the other would be in it. Those girls would probably laugh at how long it had taken Paige and Azzi to figure out what had seemed so simple back then. 
“Yeah, yeah it was. Do you remember what you wished for?” Azzi asks, smiling when Paige nods, “do you wanna know what I wished for?”
“What did you wish for Az?”
“Before we saw the star you- you said it’d be nice to win a championship together someday. And so I-,” Azzi looks down shyly, “so I wished for someday. I wished for today.”
Paige stares at Azzi, drinking in the sincerity on the shooting guard’s face, silently letting herself absorb the meaning of Azzi’s words. And then she lets out a laugh because of course of course. 
“I didn’t realise I’d said anything funny for you to be laughing at me,” Azzi scrunches her nose, looking slightly offended. 
“God baby no,” Paige cups Azzi’s face, and she thinks this smile on her face will last forever as long as this is her reality, “I’m not laughing at you. I just- do you know what I wished for?” 
Azzi shakes her head. 
“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”
It’s not quite the shade of blue Paige had imagined them in, the Lynx blue its own shade, something inbetween UConn’s navy one and UCLA’s sky one. But it’s perfect nonetheless. And when Azzi crashes her lips against Paige’s, someday feels a lot like forever and always.
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cobaltperun · 2 days
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Genius (5) - Supermassive Black Hole
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Cairo Sweet x female (G!P) Reader
Summary: It was such a cliché, a reunion she didn’t expect to ever happen, let alone six years after she last saw you. It was supposed to mean nothing, a bit of nostalgia, maybe a brief catching up while waiting for class, it was supposed to be a small wave of nostalgia, not a tsunami that disrupted her entire life. You were her opposite, and as hard as she tried she couldn’t resist your pull.
Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next part
Word count: 4.3k
-I thought I was a fool for no one, ooh baby, I'm a fool for you-
Why did she push you away when you were kids? She thought that would make her parents love her, that being more like them would make them proud of her, make them pay attention to her. Eleven-year-old Cairo wanted their love so desperately she decided to push away what she had to try and obtain what she might get. Why did that… why did that sound familiar all of a sudden?
But she couldn’t tell you any of that, not because she couldn’t admit it to herself, no, she could, she understood why she did it. She didn’t want to admit it to you. Because, sure, she could tell you the reason, but you might ask for more, and then she might have to tell you that you were on her mind all these years. That she missed you so much, that she wanted to see you. And then what? What realization would she have to face if she gave you the answer you sought? So, she remained silent, masking the apology she wanted to utter with defiance in her eyes.
“This is ridiculous,” you gave up, sighing out of frustration and just walked away. You walked away from her this time, and she felt like an invisible hand was squeezing her heart, threatening to pop it like a balloon.
But she didn’t call out to you, she didn’t say anything, she just watched you go.
~X~
She couldn’t focus that night, not on writing, not on anything Winnie was saying, she was just lost in her own thoughts. None of them made sense, there wasn’t any order, or logic to them, they were random, unorganized, and she hated it.
“What’s on your mind?” Winnie’s voice eventually did reach her, not quite piercing through the chaos of thoughts in her head, but it did reach her.
“Nothing,” she sighed, trying to focus on the girl. “Everything. I don’t know,” it felt like her mind was pulling quotes from dozens of books at the same time, mixing them together and creating a mess she couldn’t make sense of.
Winnie pupped the lollipop out of her mouth with a resounding pop. “Is it Mr. Miller? You’ve spent some time with him now, how’s the seduction going?”
Cairo remained silent. A lingering meaningful gaze here, not moving her hand when he occasionally put his hand on it. Leaning in just a bit closer than necessary when he lit her cigarette. It was a dance, on that felt forbidden, and she could see the shift in his own eyes. He was looking at her, nothing vulgar quite yet, but he was looking.
“It’s. going,” she chose not to share more than that, she started it, she wasn’t a coward, she would finish it.
Winnie remained silent. “You don’t look happy about that. Is it Y/N?”
Winnie was being too perceptive, but Cairo imagined she wasn’t doing a good job hiding it, as she felt the corners of her mouth twisting downward at the mention of you.
“Do you like her?” Winnie persisted, getting up from her spot on Cairo’s bed and moving to sit next to her. “Cairo, if you want her you need to stop what you’re doing with Mr. Miller,” she didn’t even wait for confirmation.
“Weren’t you the one talking about wagyu beef? Older men harvesting virginity and all that?” and now she was telling Cairo to give up on Miller and go to you?
Winnie rolled her eyes. “That was different, that was before I realized you had a thing for biker girls,” Winnie tried to joke, to nudge her and get her to laugh or at least smile. “Okay, one biker girl, the point stands, I you want her, like really want her just go for her. Forget wagyu beef.”
Did she want you? Was that what she wanted to turn your relationship into? And if it didn’t work out where would that leave your friendship? Did the fact that he noticed her more than anyone else ever did really mean so little? Now that everything was moving, when all he likely needed was just the right circumstances?
“Cairo, this is changing you,” Winnie kept talking, trying to stop what she set in motion unknowingly filling Cairo’s head with thoughts that weren’t there before, the thoughts of her first time not being painful, the idea that she could get that with someone older, and now she was trying to take it back.
“It is changing me,” she admitted, and she knew she was changing, she had the idea she now desired, a madman’s love, a love so passionate it could not be contained, a love so strong it would bring her to ruin, a love that would eclipse any other she felt or would ever feel.
Winnie grabbed Cairo’s phone and before Cairo could even register what was going on Winnie had unlocked it. “What are you doing?” Cairo demanded, getting up to go after Winnie as she began pacing around the room.
“Getting Y/N’s number.”
“Stop it,” Cairo demanded, grabbing Winnie’s forearm just as she sent the number to herself.
Winnie’s eyes widened and for a moment Cairo wondered how mad did she have to look to make Winnie look at her like she was now. Worried, and even a bit afraid.
“Don’t you dare call or text her,” she ordered, her voice shaking as she did. Winnie couldn’t contact you, she just couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed to.
“Okay, I won’t,” she relented and Cairo finally let go of her forearm and snatched her phone.
Cairo started all of this. She was seducing her teacher. She was going to experience something, she was going to get her madman’s love.
~X~
Another Monday, another shitty way to start your week with Miller’s damn class.
“Censorship creates a vicious cycle, we’re taught from young age to accept certain norms, the rights and wrongs of society. It’s the death of writer’s ideas, and thus the reader’s ideas as well. It’s taking away the freedom of thought and speech,” he droned on, stopping by Cairo, the back of his hand brushing against her arm.
“They are separate,” you spoke without raising your hand, and he took a few steps back to take a look at you.
“Not to a writer, to a writer the thoughts become words on the page, they are given a form, and not in this context. When we are taught from young age how to think it becomes intricately connected to the way we express ourselves,” he explained his reasoning and you felt Cairo’s eyes on you.
“Thoughts are private, we cannot be held accountable for thinking, it is the absolute freedom that cannot be taken away, precisely because no one can be sure of what we think. Speech is, as you said, a thought that’s given a form, written, spoken, or expressed in another way. It is a right, and a responsibility,” you leaned forward, your hands resting on the desk, open, relaxed, you had no need to move them.
“To conform to the norms of society?” he challenged, and you gave him a hollow laugh, turning away from both him and Cairo for a moment.
You looked back at him, eyes filled with fierce defiance. “Please, if that was the case you’d be teaching a much smaller class. The society is meant to be critically observed, changed in response to injustice,” you stated.
“And thus, censorship should be seen as an issue, because it is used to cover the injustices,” Miller leaned back against the table. “Just think of how many women had to publish their works under a pseudonym, or how often works that even implied anything outside of societal norms had to be edited to conform to those norms.”
“You are equating rights of entire groups with ideals of a bygone era?” you raised an eyebrow, hardly believing what you were hearing.
He raised his hand in defense. “Certainly not, but-“ he paused, collecting his thoughts. “But, censoring of those ideals of the, as you said, miss L/N, bygone era, takes away our ability to judge them for ourselves. To start a conversation.”
“So, your idea is mere discussion?” you held back a laugh.
“Of course,” he had the guts to say after how he’s been acting with Cairo.
“Yet every idea, no matter how pure, taken to an extreme can be twisted, corrupted until the very basics of what made it good no longer apply, and such corruption needs to be removed,” you weren’t backing away, you ignored the looks of the handful of students that got interested in the conversation, you ignored Cairo’s piercing gaze.
“Every? Freedom of speech included?” he asked. “It has been said that one man’s vulgarity is another’s lyric. And it is one of the highest forms of hubris to assume one person gets to decide what it right and wrong and enforce it on others,” he crossed his arms over his chest, shielding himself once more.
“You sure you have the right to speak of that? Teacher?” you bit your tongue, refusing to let your emotions get the better of you.
The tension in the classroom rose to nearly unbearable, his defensive posture, his eyes, filled with surprise at being all but accused, wandering from you to Cairo
The bell rang breaking the tension and making the students get up to leave. You collected your things and stepped outside, sighing as you did so.
“Y/N,” a fairly cute, blonde girl you shared a couple more classes with, Emily, called out to you and quickly caught up with you before you could get out of the class. She held a pencil you let her borrow on Friday in her hand. Oh, you actually forgot about it. “Here, thanks again for letting me borrow it,” she smiled a bit shyly at you and tucked a strand of her hair back.
You smiled back and took the pencil. “Don’t mention it, Emily,” you put the pencil inside your bag.
“We’re heading in the same direction, wanna go together?” the girl offered, and you shrugged, seeing no harm in doing so.
“Sure,” she was nice and you had no reason to be hostile toward her.
~X~
“Keep glaring and you’ll make her combust,” Winnie teased as Cairo glared at the girl as she was walking away from the classroom.
“If only,” she grumbled, annoyed. Who did that girl think she was, taking your attention after what happened in the class.
“Cairo, could you come by after classes?” she heard Miller asking once only her and Winnie could hear him.
Cairo looked inside, to where you just sat and narrowed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I made plans,” she decided, she certainly wasn’t in the mood to play any seduction games.
He looked surprised. “Right, of course,” he stammered and Cairo just nodded her goodbye. The blonde girl was no longer in her line of sight when she turned once again.
“You’re so jealous,” Winnie laughed, and that was the last drop, she made her way outside the school, ignoring Winnie’s protests.
She wasn’t jealous. What did she have to be jealous of? A blonde that met you maybe a month ago? As if that could compare to what you and Cairo had. The key word was had, as her brain cruelly reminded her. You no longer had that. Without thinking much, she dropped her things off at her house and went into the forest to clear her mind.
What were you thinking? Speaking like that in the class? What made you speak up for the first time in Miller’s class and well, that was one way to speak up for the first time. Ideals of a bygone era. She figured she was seduced by them. By Winnie’s talk of older man harvesting virginity. It wasn’t just that though. It all went back to madman’s love, for how mad would someone her age have to be to love in such a way.
Was it the way Miller touched her that made you react? It was just a brush of the back of his hand, intentional, no doubt, as it remained there, but by now she was used to the closeness. They sat side by side on the bench smoking, and it was certainly physically closer than just the back of his hand. But it still, maybe set you off, just like his attempt to hold her hand did last week.
And then, as she walked, as she went deeper into the forest, as she went to the exact same place where the rose bush she found all those years ago grew and was crushed was, as she went to the place she didn’t go to in years, she froze. Again. a rose bush. Again, an old tree fallen over it.
It was happening again, the same image, the same scene, the same outcome, haunting her, repeating again and again and driving her into madness. She had no one this time. Not one person who could drag her away. Alone. Meant to be crushed like the lone rose bush in the forest. Meant to be crushed by the old, by her parents, her teachers, her village, suffocating in a place fit only for ghosts, an unforgiving place that refused to let anyone be different. To be crushed by the place she was abandoned in and the people in it.
Her nails dug into the dirt beneath her, and she just now noticed she dropped to her knees down to the harsh forest floor. Maybe she should just stay there. She felt too weak to get up anyway, too dizzy and numb at the same time, her breathing too erratic, uneven, panicked. Yet all she could focus on was the scene that kept repeating.
~X~
You were finally close to the end of Verne’s book, just another ten or so pages, but you felt sleepy, and the rain softly falling wasn’t helping you stay awake. Your phone suddenly buzzed, breaking your concentration and making you groan as you leaned your head back. Whoever was calling you wasn’t giving up, that was for sure. So, to spare both you and the caller you grabbed your phone, noticed it was a number you didn’t recognize, and picked up.
“Hello?” you said.
“Hey, is Cairo with you?” it took you a moment, but you recognized it was Winnie, her voice laced with worry and clearly on the verge of panic.
You immediately sat up. “No. Why?” you asked, you didn’t have a reason to worry just yet. Maybe she just got too into one of her books.
“I’m at her place, it’s unlocked, her bag is here, but she’s nowhere to be found, and we were supposed to hangout tonight," Winnie told you and you could hear her pacing around.
“Okay, okay, just calm down. Let’s just go and look for her, do you want the forest or the village?” you were grabbing your biker jacket, since it was waterproof, as well as the keys of your house and already heading outside.
“The village, and thanks, I appreciate this,” Winnie said.
“Of course. Call if you find her before me,” you said and when she agreed you hung up and tucked your phone into your pocket and ran into the forest. You had to hurry, it was getting dark, and the rain made the ground slippery, the more it took you to cover the forest the higher the chances of getting injured, or plain and simple lost would be. So, you ran, as carefully as you could through the forest, yelling Cairo’s name.
‘Where are you?’ you shouldn’t have parted the way you did. ‘Why can’t you answer your phone?’ you should have tried harder to get to her. ‘Are you okay?’
“Cairo!” you shouted as loud as you possibly could, your yell getting swallowed by the trees and the rain.
Somehow, for the reason you couldn’t explain, you remembered her sob from all those years ago, you remembered that sound, the reason for her sorrow back then, that tree and the bush of wild roses and you just took off, running in that direction as if somehow drawn to that location.
~X~
Her body trembled, physically she felt cold, but deep down she didn’t feel anything. Her body felt like nothing, like the least important part of her, like it no longer mattered what happened to it. Her mind and soul were what was important, and the rain couldn’t hit those. The loneliness did, however. It froze her mind and soul in a way cold rain and the darkness that slowly consumed everything around her could never accomplish.
She desired a madman’s love, the ruins of it, the decay, she desired to be entirely consumed by it, yet here she was, not only without a madman’s love, but without love in general.
“Cairo!” her mind must have been playing tricks with her, she heard you shouting her name, and that just couldn’t be true. Why would you be there?
“Cairo!” this time it was closer, and her eyes widened as she caught glimpse of you in the distance, just narrowly missing her. Another old tree, just waiting to fall between you two.
“Y/N!” she cried out, calling after you and trying to get up, but her legs had gotten too numb to get up so abruptly and she stumbled, digging her palms into the muddy ground beneath her. There was no way you heard her, you were too far, you just narrowly missed her, she was once again too late to reach out to you.
Same mistakes. Same haunting images. Everything was happening again.
“Cairo,” she heard footsteps, running toward her and raised her hand, seeing you, your hair and face wet from the rain, water dripping from your jacket and relief washing over your expression. “Are you okay?” you ran up to her and without a moment of hesitation grabbed her shoulders, pushing her up slightly and looking her over. “Cairo, hey, hey, answer me!” your gloved fingers moved her hair from her face and she couldn’t take it anymore, she just fell into your arms, hugging you and clinging to you. She took several deep breaths, finally feeling like she could properly breathe.
“How did you know?” she asked, judging by how wet your hair was you were out for a while.
“Winnie called me,” you whispered as you softly rubbed circles on her back. “Give me a second,” you pushed her away for a moment and she felt what little warmth she regained fading away. You took your jacket off and put it over her shoulders.
“Y/N, wait,” she tried to argue, she didn’t want to let you get a cold, but you just pressed a finger over her lips.
“Don’t argue. Can you walk?” you asked as you helped her get back on her feet.
Cairo nodded, this was already enough, you were already doing more than she could have asked for, but even as she began walking back home you kept her close, supporting her and holding up some of her weight as she leaned onto you for support.
And then, just as the two of you got twenty feet away from where Cairo was kneeling, a lightning struck the old tree and both of you flinched as it cracked and fell, right to where you and Cairo just were. You just saved her life, because there was no way she would have moved if you didn’t arrive.
She felt you freezing and she wondered what was going through your mind. Did you realize what would have happened to her if you were even a minute late, and in the way you pulled her closer she felt that you did think of that scenario just now. Of finding her underneath a fallen tree.
~X~
You called Winnie to tell her you found Cairo and that you brought her back home as she was taking a warm shower. You considered leaving, but maybe it wasn’t the best idea to leave Cairo on her own right now, so, you stayed, a towel you borrowed from Cairo hanging from your neck. You needed to change, but you weren’t sure you could go back home and come back here before Cairo was done.
You were waiting in her room and you noticed how much darker it got, less light seeped through the windows than when she was a child. Well, people changed, and you guessed seven years was a long time. As you sat on the chair you brought up from the kitchen and waited you caught sight of a familiar book. ‘Around the World in Eighty Days’ sat on the table next to a book written by Henry Miller, ‘Under the Roofs of Paris’ the duality of those choices didn’t escape you, but you didn’t move, you weren’t about to stoop to Miller’s level and look through Cairo’s stuff.
A few minutes later, she came out, dressed in her pajamas and with a towel around her head. “You should change,” she noticed now that the shower cleared her thoughts a bit. “And take a shower, the rain was dirty,” she said it as if she expected you to do it at her house.
“I will, I just wanted to check if you were okay and I’ll leave,” you told her, already getting up. She looked fine now, but you still looked her over, you didn’t notice anything wrong, any injury or anything that she needed help with.
“Do it here? Please, you were out looking for me, and the rain is falling even harder now,” at least the part about the rain was true, the weather was getting worse. “I’ll find some clothes that fit you,” she promised, and you nodded with a sigh.
“Okay,” you saw her smile and you couldn’t argue anymore.
When you stepped into the shower you just let the water wash over you, to erase the image of the tree falling right where Cairo was, to wash away the worry and fear as you ran through the forest, desperately looking for her. Everything turned out fine, in the end and you found yourself no longer caring about the answer to your question.
It no longer mattered why Cairo pushed you away, what was happening now mattered much more, and you weren’t going to waste it just because she didn’t want to give you your answer.
When you stepped outside in the shirt and trousers she gave you that were a bit too big for her, you saw her already in her bed, and she turned to look at you, her still slightly damp hair sticking to her skin. “Hey, how are you doing?” you approached her and knelt next to her, only now realizing how stupidly tall her bed was.
Cairo looked at your hand, resting on the edge of her bed and then at your eyes. “Better now. Thank you for looking for me.”
You shook your head. “Don’t thank me for that, you asshole. I’ll scold you properly later,” you promised, luring out another smile from her.
“Do you want to read together?” she asked, moving to the side as if offering her bed to you.
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision, but you nodded, getting in the bed next to her and getting comfortable as she opened the book that somehow became the most tangible reminder of your past. You settled down and took a deep breath, and you realized your mistake, as Cairo’s scent invaded your senses.
“Can I start?” she asked and you nodded, focusing only on her voice as she began reading the book.
~X~
Cairo woke up around noon, alone in her room, and more importantly, she missed school. Almost two whole days, that was strange for her, yet she doubted anyone would notice. She wondered when you left, well, she woke up when you got up this morning. The two of you fell asleep about two-thirds into the book. Nothing happened during the night, neither of you subconsciously moved like books so often depicted, she didn’t wake up tangled up with you, or holding your hand, or anything. You just happened to sleep three feet apart because her bed was so ridiculously big.
She stretched a bit and got up and as she opened her window she heard a sound she wasn’t used to coming from her backyard. She looked out through the window and saw you moving some pots she didn’t recognize. “Y/N?” she called out and her heart skipped a beat when she saw you looking up.
“Come down here! I want to show you something!” you yelled, a wide grin on your face.
“Give me ten minutes!” she told you and rushed to the bathroom to get ready. She couldn’t remember the last time she rushed this much to get changed and ready for the day, it certainly didn’t happen since she was a child and had all day free to play with you.
She barely even remembered the last time she purposely went to her backyard, yet here she was, walking over to you as you finished whatever you were doing. When she stopped next to you she saw the pots, five of them, filled with earth, and stems from the wild rose bush stuck in them.
“If I did everything correctly at least one should sprout roots,” you said as Cairo, speechless for once, looked between you and the roses. “I noticed the crushed bush, so I went back after getting everything I needed,” you said softly.
Cairo felt a tear sliding down her cheek as she jumped into your arms, ignoring any dirt that may have gotten on you. All the unwanted tension between the two of you seemed to fade away as you got over your surprise and hugged her back.
Taglist: @deimaisgail @bee-keeping @marvelous-disaster @jmwetterlund @tekanparadiae
@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh @autorasexy
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