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bless-my-demons · 7 months

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Redamancy: Chapter Eighteen

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Cuss words and angst, my bread and butter rn

Notes: I’m so sorry this is late tonight! I’m still reeling from Tuesday night’s Sleep Token concert… it was honestly life changing. I’ve been working on this chapter all day so I hope you like! I promise I’m trying to get through New Moon without dragging it out longer than necessary, I just need to set up certain things for… things👀

Word Count: 2383

Series Masterlist

• January 17th, 2006 • Home •

Reader

Long, cold fingers trail across my cheekbones - featherlight and almost reverent in their exploration. Cool lips brush my hairline and I can feel the smile against my skin. A grin tilts the corner of my mouth and I roll over to push my face into the hard chest at my side to just get a few more moments of sleep.

But my face didn't meet his chest, I rolled right onto a cool pillow.

I flip back over and blink at the ceiling of my bedroom. The fan begins to swim as the familiar tickle of tears threatens to bubble over the corners of my eyes, it was a dream.

Sleep used to be the reprieve from these feelings, but he’s bleeding into my subconscious too. Fuck, is this just life from now on? Not only just pining after someone by day, but dreaming of him by night too?

“How was your night out, sweetheart?” My mom calls as she hears me descend the stairs.

The scent of bacon and pancakes wafts down the hallway and my stomach rumbles in anticipation.

“The movie kinda sucked, but I think everyone had fun.” I go for the vague answer, not wanting to scare her by trying to explain Bella’s theory-on-danger test.

“Oh? What movie did you see?” Her eyebrows pinch together as she tosses the question over her shoulder.

“The new one that just came out about zombies, it had jump scares and chase scenes that had me scared out of my mind the entire time. And after the movie, Jessica went on this rant about how it might have a double meaning for leprosy, I had to fight not to laugh.” Pouring two glasses of orange juice, I set the table as I explained.

“Dear Lord, I worry about that girl sometimes.” Dishing food onto my plate, she pauses. “I’m glad you had a good night out.”

I opt to shove food in my mouth instead of responding to her quiet comment. Halfway through my pancakes, the familiar crunch of gravel under old tires sounds from the driveway.

“Who-?” But I’m peaking through the blinds before she could finish the thought.

“It’s Bella Swan.” I glance at my mother with raised brows before dashing to the front door.

Swinging it open before her raised fist could knock, “What are you doing here?”

“I uh, I came by to see if you wanted to hang out at the Rez with me today? I’m going to see Jacob if you want to tag along.” She toes her shoe on the corner of our welcome mat as she digs her hands in her jacket, nervous.

“Of course, let me go change! You’re more than welcome to come in while you wait.” I dash up the stairs before she can answer, leaving the door open for her to walk in.

“Isabella Swan! I’m so happy to see you stop by dear!” I sigh as I hear my mom’s over-excited voice drift through the house.

I try to hurry and swap my sweats for jeans before my mom could drill her for more information about last night. I love the woman to death, but her middle name might as well be nosy.

Snagging my current read from my desk after tugging on my ratty pair of chucks, I rush back downstairs.

“Ready!” I call to Bella.

“Thanks for letting her hang with me, Mrs. Y/l/n.” I hear Bella tell my mom before escaping the kitchen.

“Anytime dear, you hardly even have to ask.” My mom winks at me from over Bella’s shoulder and I roll my eyes playfully in response as we head out of the front door.

“Be safe you two! Call if you need anything!” Shouting from the front porch with a smile and a wave, I return the wave once I’m settled in the old red truck.

Turning onto the road, I dive right into my curiosity, “Okay so what’s really going on today?”

“We’re actually going to the Rez, but it’s a surprise.” She hooks a thumb over her shoulder to the bed of the truck.

Twisting, I notice something rather large covered with a tarp in the back. “And what is that?”

“Actually, what are those. And they were free, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Drumming her thumbs on the steering wheel to some imaginary beat, I huff and face forwards again.

If I had to go by any indication of what happened last night, this surprise doesn’t bode well.

• Black residence, La Push Indian Reservation •

Reader

Climbing from the old red truck, a tall and tan guy comes running up to meet us. Well - Bella, if his eyes souly trained on her is any indication of his attention.

“Bella! Where the hell have you been loca?” I notice the wide grin on his face causes one to appear on Bella’s, interesting.

Looking over her shoulder after spinning her in a circle, this Jacob guy finally notices me, “And who is this?”

“Oh that’s Y/n Y/l/n, a friend from school. I hope you don’t mind I asked her to tag along?” She finishes sheepishly, but he shakes her concern away and extends a hand towards me.

“Jacob Black, nice to meet you.” He flashes me a much smaller smile as I accept his handshake and nod with a small smile of my own.

“I uh, also brought you something.” Pointing at the tarp-covered-mass in the bed of her truck before flicking up a corner to show us. “It’s a little crazy.”

My eyes widen as I take in the two dirt bikes.

“Wow, scrap metal. You shouldn’t have.” Jacob jokes, already sensing the train wreck this is about to be.

“I saved them from the junkyard.” Glancing between us to measure our looks, “I think they’ll probably cost more to fix than they’re worth, but then I thought that I’d I had a mechanic friend to help me out then-”

“Oh - me, being the mechanic-type friend?” A half-laugh slips out of him as he puts the puzzle pieces together.

“That’s right.”

“Since when are you into motorcycles?” His question takes me back to last night and I play with the drawstrings on my worn hoodie anxiously.

“Since now.” A pause as she assesses him, “I get it if you think this is really stupid. And reckless-”

“It’s completely stupid and reckless.” She visibly deflates at his confirmation.

“Bella, I’m not sure this is the best idea-” but he cuts me off before I finish.

“When do we start?” Both of us snap our eyes to his face, searching for the punchline.

“Um, now! Please?” Bella responds dazed.

“Alright.” Jacob immediately reaches for the first bike to unload our new projects.

“Oh hey, be careful those things are actually-” He lifts them as if they’re toys instead, “Really heavy. Jake, you’re like, buff. How did that happen, you’re like sixteen.”

“Age is just a number baby, what are you like forty now?”

Bella’s eyes immediately meet mine and my breath stutters for a second at the discussion of age, something the both of us are all too aware of.

“Feels like that sometimes.”

We both follow him into the garage around the side of his house as he pushes both bikes inside. Settling onto the old couch behind where Jacob works, I dive into my book while Bella watches him take everything apart.

Over the weekend, Bella drops me off and picks me up again to hang out while Jacob works away at the first bike. It’s comfortable, relaxing and enjoying their company without having to feel like I need to contribute, my presence being all that Bella wants from me.

Soft music drifts from his radio perched nearby, but Bella leans over to switch it off.

“This song's good, you don’t like it?”

“Um, I don’t really… like music anymore, kind of.” Bell’s confession causes me to reread the page I’m on, sadness spilling into my chest and distracting me from the words on the page, because I get it.

“Okay, no more music.” Jacob gets back to cranking on one particularly stubborn bolt and I meet Bella’s eyes over the top of my book, a knowing look passing between us.

We’re two sides of the same sad coin, no matter how you flip it, the outcome is always the same - hurt and anger and denial. There’s no winning anything tossing this coin - it’s the crusty penny that’s forgotten about on a sidewalk somewhere facing tails-up. Nobody wants it because it’s not bringing you good luck and there’s so few people in this world that are the type to stop and flip it over for the next person. That’s what it feels like, watching everyone pass us by as they live life, no one to stop and pick us up.

Except maybe for Jacob, for Bella at least. Meanwhile, I have him in my dreams.

Light knocking echos in the large space, “Yo Jake, you in there?” Two boys emerge from the slightly open door.

“It’s okay, it’s just my boys.” Jacob informs us as he sees us tense at the intrusion.

“Hey Jake.” They both greet their friend while observing us.

“Hey guys, this is Bella,” Directing a hand towards her and then me, “And this is Y/n.” Turning to look at us now, he points at the two newcomers, “That’s Quil and Embry.”

“I’m Quil Atera.” Nodding in our direction, trying to play it cool.

I cover my mouth to stifle a giggle at the obvious flirtation.

“So the bike building story is true?” Quil Atera asks.

“Oh yeah, I taught him everything he knows.” Another giggle threatens to burst at her mock-serious answer.

“What about the part where you’re his girlfriend?”

I immediately choke on my laughter at Bella’s surprise, girlfriend?

“Actually we’re friends.” Bella fires back and I cringe.

“Ooo-burn!” Embry teases.

“Actually, I remember I said she’s a girl and a friend.” Jacob says, trying to cover his blunder with his friends.

“Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?”

“Nope.” Embry pops the ‘p’ to exaggerate the embarrassment.

“So you guys have girlfriends, that’s awesome.”

Jacob immediately busts out laughing at her comeback, “Yeah right, Quil's actually taking his cousin to prom.”

“Oh ouch.” This time I jump in to acknowledge the burn.

“Yeah that’s still alright. You want funny, Black? I’ll give you funny!” Quil launches at Jacob and the two go at it like kids at recess trying to take each other to the ground in a play-fight.

Embry lumbers over to us and we take turns laughing and placing bets on the two rough-housers. It’s starting to feel normal, hanging out with other people again.

Just not the normal I wanted.

• January 17th, 2006 • Ithaca, New York •

Jasper

A soft knock at my bedroom door raises my eyes from my book.

I wasn’t actually reading, it was more of a stare-and-daydream sort of thing. The words weren’t registering on the page, but her eyes were. They filled the gaps between sentences, her smile occupied the margins, her laugh drowned out the page turns.

It was useless trying to think of anything else, she was everywhere I looked. I didn’t have the option of sleep, but I know that wouldn’t be a reprieve either.

“Carlisle and I are going hunting, would you like to join us sweetheart?” Esme’s voice has always been kind and her emotions are even kinder. Patience, hopefulness, and the worst: love and understanding. Those two hurt the worst, understanding felt more like pity and the love? There was only one person’s love I wanted to feel, everyone else’s paled in comparison.

“I’m fine, not hungry.” If my gravely voice didn’t give my lie away, my black eyes certainly did.

Pain, sadness, pity-

Anger flares in my chest at the last one and I’m up from my chair in a flash, turning my gaze away from my adoptive mother and out my window. The split second of anger I felt towards Esme adds another speck of rot to the inside of my chest.

“I-I’m sorry hun, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” Looking over my shoulder, but not quite meeting her eyes, “Enjoy your hunt with Carlisle.”

She’s gone half a second later, her light perfume drifts through my empty room and it makes me regret being short with her.

“The fuck is your deal?” Annoyance seeps from Rosalie in my doorway.

“The fuck is yours, Rose?” Long gone is the southern gentleman I was raised to be as I spin around.

“You. You and Edward. This sulk in my room and refuse to function bullshit!”

“What does it matter to you? You have Emmett, you have everything you want-”

“Stop right there.” Her tone was absolutely lethal and I know why. “You’re throwing her away and forcing everyone else to too-”

“You don’t get to lecture me on her-”

“I can and I will! It’s quite literally tearing this family apart!” Her slender finger pokes the middle of my chest and I temper the urge to snap it.

“Since when do you give a shit about this family?” I sneer back at her.

“I care about how this is eating at the sister I never had growing up. I give a shit about how this is killing the light in my husband’s eyes. I care about how it’s hurting Esme to see two of her sons struggling for no reason. And believe it or not, I care about you and Edward too.” She pauses, eyes flicking between mine, searching. “One fuck up-”

“It wasn’t just a fuck up!” I grip her upper arms and shake her lightly. “I could’ve killed her! I went fucking nuclear and with her there is no room for fuck ups!”

“You’re in love with her.” The realization surprises her.

“It’s more than that.” I drop the hold I have on her and begin pacing.

“Mates?” Now the real shock settles in on my sister.

I don’t stop pacing, letting my silence answer for me.

“Fuck.” Rose’s response is beginning to feel like a summary of my life now.

Taglist:

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#redamancy series #bless-my-demons #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfiction #twilight fanfiction #jasper whitlock hale #twilight #jasper hale x female!reader #jasper hale #female reader insert

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erikasnothungry · 2 months

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so.

I feel so fake right now what's wrong with me?

am I even ànā? I sure didn't act like it today.

I went to a sleepover with my bsf, we ate Naan bread and curry which I couldn't get out of.

before bed I was offered a granola bar and said yes?? like what? and this morning before leaving when I woke up she made me peanut butter honey toast. I love her sm obviously because like that is the sweetest thing but I'm like AHAHAJAHSVSHEKJR

don't worry guys. it gets worse

we went to McDonald's. my mom got me a mcnugget thing and full cålorie coke. I know she wants me to gain wěįght bc I'm technically under (17.9 bmi) and I love her for it because shes been worried about me. why does everyone have to be such good people?

and fries. I ate fries. I'm such an idiot. I don't know what to do because like I love my family and my bff but they give me sm food and i don't want to drift apart from them. and also bc my mom cooks a lot right and my little brother is super picky (love him) and he's like "this is disgusting" basically every night at supper (by the way its not cause he's spoiled he's just 6 and has autism but he is a good kid lol) and one time my mom was crying because he wouldn't eat anything, so anyways I try to eat a lot to show her how much I appreciate her cooking because in my family that's like our form of affection. and I don't want her to think I'm being ungrateful or that it's bad.

SORRY IM RAMBLING

but I just need to st4rve. like its not that hard erika stop being a little glutton

I think I'm a little smaller now than like a few months ago but who knows, because the only scale in my house is in my mom's room and she'd be suspicious if she saw me, also I have like 6 siblings in my house rn so I'm never in the house alone.

I'm sorry this was so long, if you got this far ily, and yall need to be more social like don't be afraid to dm me (if you're under 18) I have a lot of socials too. but yeah that's it

P.S. I love my family I don't mean to be rude. I'm just an idiot 🦒

#ana trigger #th1nsp1ration #ed behaviour tw #i wanna ⭐️ve #pro a4a #th1gh g@p #anorexcya #ed not ed sheeran #i need to ⭐️ve #thiinsp0 #ana bllog #ana rant #ana buddie #tw ed but not sheeran #tw ed diet #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating #ed disorder #erikas internal monologue

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madebyrolo · 11 months

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Ignoring Prank / Five Hargreeves

She/her pronouns

Fluff

Enjoy!!

____________________________

Y/n's POV

I went over to the Hargreeves mansion while the team was out training because I was bored and I wanted to wait for five and the others to hang out. It's been an hour and I was thinking after having a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and pretending to be apart of the academy while using Alison's extra uniform(god you would do it too don't laugh.) you know what would be fun to do, a prank. And what better sibling to do it on then the most. mature ,serious,stern,angry eyebrows Hargreeves sibling (and my lovely boyfriend) five.

Even tho five may seem like a though guy, he is a MAJOR lover boy in private. I know that after a long day of training he's going to want to cuddle and just want some love and comfort. Thinking about it, this prank might be too mean....Yolo.

-Time skip 30 minutes-

I hear the door open and there faint voices which mean it's go time.

I walk down stairs and start to greet everyone but five. Since Klaus and Ben are literally my besties go up to them first.

"OMGGGG KLAUSYYY I MISSED YOU" I say while giving him a big hug.

Five notices but you are bestfriends and klaus can't really be competition because he's five and Klaus is, well yk Klaus.

"Y/N/N YOURE HERE FINALLY. BEN NEEDS SOMEONE ELS TO HANG OUT WITH. He's

So clingy girl....." he says while hugging back.

"I heard that" said Ben

"You were supposed too" Klaus responded

"Klaus leave Benito alone. You just don't appreciate him like I do" I said while giving him a peck on the cheek and a hug.

I know what I was doing.

Five sees this and he doesn't think any much of it because you guys are also besties.....right?

After Y/n says hi to the others (expect for five), she goes upstairs with Klaus while Ben takes her by the hand and they follow Klaus.

-Fives POV-

Diego whispers a snarky comment my ear "woah Benito getting girls who would've though..."

"Shut.up." said I with a Locked jaw.

"Diego leave five alone y/n and Ben don't have something going on." Said Luther

"Yea they're just friends. Me and Luther are like that" Alison said but that didn't help because everyone knew there was something between them.

"I'm just saying Ben and y/n have been getting closer. They're always doing their own things and running off to his room" said Diego

That got me thinking. It's true what Diego is saying. They've had their own special connection before we started dating. Did y/n ever have feelings for Ben and does she still have them?

"Diego enough stop it. He's just messing with you five" said Vanya attempting to ease my thoughts.

"You're right! I'm just probably jumping to conclusions. They're just close like Luther and Alison...." Diego said while leaving the room.

With that comment I felt a pit in my stomach.

My face fell. Is y/n cheating on me? She didn't even say hi to me and she ran off with Ben.

I blink into my room.

-in fives room-

still his POV

I lay down on my bed and just think. Does she not love me anymore? Am I boring her? Is ben better then me? How is that even possible ? He's quiet,shy,kept to himself ever since he was young but never around y/n. Whenever she was here he would just change into this whole different person. That's what y/n does. She lights up a room. Her confidence,her energy,her smile,her personality, her eyes. Everything about her is perfect I can't blame Ben for liking her.

-Y/n's POV-

It's been like 5 hours and I still haven't seen or talked to five. He's been in his room this whole time. I feel bad. Does he know I'm ignoring him? (He obviously does you're his girlfriend.)

It's getting late and I'm sleeping over so I head to fives room.

-entering fives room-

I see him laying in his bed. I can't tell if he's sleeping or not but he doesn't sleep till 10 and it's 8:45 pm rn

"Hi love" I say but I hear no response.

I get in bed with five and I try to cuddle with him but he just stays still.

"Fiveee" and still no response

Who knew my ignoring prank would turn into him ignoring me.

"Five I know you're not sleeping talk to me"

"Go talk Ben."

So that's what this is about.

"What do you mean?" I tell him

"What I mean is that you guys are way closer than we are." He says while sitting up.

"You guys are clearly perfect for each other. You guys are practically glued to the hip and you've just hung out out with him for 5 hours instead of me, your boyfriend"

"Five are you seriously jealous of Ben?" I said

"No it's the fact that you completely ignored me all day and expect me to be fine with it. I'm your boyfriend. Not Ben." Five responded.

I move onto his lap and cup fives face

"I only want you. I love you five. You're my boyfriend and the thought of me being with anybody els doesn't even exist in my world. Don't you ever think that I would leave you because I wont. Ever I swear." I say while I kiss him.

He kisses me back and we just continue for what seems like forever.

"I'm sorry y/n. I don't know why I jumped to conclusions. It's just that Diego got to my head and..."

"Diego. You seriously listen to Diego? The dude who treats his knifes as a gf. He cares for those knifes more than his own siblings." I say trying to lighten the mood.

Five smiles at the comment

"There's that smile." I say while placing kissing all over his face"

After I good make out shesh we end up cuddling asleep. I will NEVER tell him that was a prank because I know he would try to get me back and it would be 100x worse.

_________________________________

After a year I’m back 🥹

It’s summer break so might start writing again

#aidan gallagher #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #alison hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

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minniesmelody · 2 years

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My Gareth Emerson Head Canons #2

𝘼/𝙉 : pls I’m trying so hard to pump as much content as I can rn, finally did part 2 of my Gareth head canons, again I’ll say it again, these are MY Gareth head canons so we might not all agree on the same things and that’s okay so pls don’t get mad at whatever is written below, pls and thank, enjoy ✌︎︎

♥︎definitely that type of boyfriend who slips little notes into your locker

♥︎my boy loves Scooby doo, shaggy being his favorite

♥︎Would talk shit about the band ‘tears for fears’ but listen to them and jam out to it when he is alone

♥︎favorite video game is Super Mario bros.

♥︎plays dolls and dress up with his little sister

♥︎he makes me think of that kind of guy who would sneak into his mom’s closet and try on her heels just to see what it feels like to be a woman

♥︎favorite veggie is carrots, I can see him having carrots and ranch as a snack

♥︎speaking of snacks, his favorite snack is tied between chips and apple slices with peanut butter

♥︎I could see him having a Goonies obsession, definitely has a poster in his room

♥︎hates mushrooms, probably one of those people who says “it tastes like dirt”

♥︎Type of boyfriend who wants to bake with you all the time, he is an excellent cook and I can see him just wanting to spend a cozy winter’s night with you making sugar cookies shaped with Christmas tree’s and snowmen

♥︎definitely doesn’t know how to swim

♥︎gives massages at random times

♥︎definitely dreams about saving up a lot money one day so he can take you to Disneyland

♥︎also dreams about having a family with you one day, happily married and healthy kids.

♥︎basically baby fever almost 365 days of the year but understands you both are way too young and it’s way too soon, especially if he wants to live out his dream and become big with the band.

♥︎puts chips in his sandwiches

♥︎doesn’t have any piercings, sorry y’all I just don’t imagine him getting any, maybe a lip piercing at most but I still don’t see that

♥︎has a collection of broken drumsticks

♥︎anger issues but tries his hardest to never lash it out on you

♥︎definitely has a random fake cactus sitting in a corner of his room

♥︎stargazing dates are a must!!

♥︎originally wasn’t one to wear rings until he understood why Eddie did, started wearing them a lot after that, especially for you

♥︎I think we all know this but Jeff is his best friend, been besties since middle school

♥︎does not know how to use chopsticks

♥︎wears rubber bands and sometimes boondoggle bracelets

♥︎accidentally hogs the blanket when you both are sleeping in the same bed together

♥︎his worst fear is tied between cockroaches, the ocean, and loss of someone he loves aka you

♥︎BONUS: Modern! Gareth would have a twitch, either playing video games or play drums and do requests for bits, or a mix of both.

#hellfire club #stranger things #gareth the great #gwydion lashlee walton #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson #gareth x reader #gareth #gareth emerson headcanons #eddie munson #stranger things imagine #imagine #fanfic #stranger things season four #head canons #he is just like me fr #head canon

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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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oh yes!!! yes that is such a wonderful speech and i am fanning myself in the bathroom rn.

i love open endings haha. maybe on the boat there's the vague sound of alejandro's screams of pain but they're both like "nah it's probably nothing" and hug in a friends way.

i haven't said this but duncan has to sing duncanrific the comeback song which he gets around by doing one verse and letting everyone argue until chris cuts it for going over time.

also lindsay and noah friendship: the normal way would be to build it up premerge before he gets eliminated but the au of an au way would be to change the tone of the au somewhat and have him be her merge alliance instead of heather. which also gives her a marginally better excuse for not having noticed the aletyler manipulation. i saw that nowen aftermath fic i think it works.

anyway this time ... well owen obviously wouldn't be the merge elimination this time so the options are cody heather and sierra. last two would probably be easier to get the votes for i think. (it would be funny if noah was still kind of attracted to alejandro. toxic yaoi when.) - lindsanon

Ah, thank you. I tried to heavily reference your draft speech there, so a lot of the work was already done. 🤷‍♀️

Open endings are a lot more fun than definitive ones, because you can use them as diving boards into new stories! Or, have other people inspired by your initial story carry is on, using your open ending as their starting point. OR, just having things end indeterminately for the sake of it is great too- a lot of things IRL end without cut-and-dry resolutions, after all.

Duncan being forced to sing a Fergalicious parody will never NOT be funny, I can just imagine him seething through the one verse he's made to sing. It's a smart move, getting the others to inadvertently take over the song.

I think having Lindsay keep her post-merge alliance with Heather has more impact, thanks to their shared history. Lindsay and Noah's friendship in this AU shouldn't overshadow the greater plotline/story arc; as much as we all love having Noah around he really isn't a major character. If you want to make him one, however, that's up to you.

Having Noah in a constant state of "Oh No He's Hot" whilst trying his best to keep his feelings towards Alejandro strictly negative is my bread and butter. He's the cold, logical one, things like attraction won't override his rationality (spoiler, they totally will). Toxic yaoi stays winning. But that's not the focus of this story.

Anyway, if Lyler are going to remain friend-ish by the end of the story, that means Lindsay and Beth can finally become the wholesome yuri they were always meant to be! (/hj)

#lyler sabotage au #total drama #td lindsay #td noah #lindsanon #replies

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meganwasbored · 9 months

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The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 5 Episode 1

-i can’t believe i had to wait a whole extra week to watch this this is all i’ve been thinking about i’m so ready

-also i think it goes without saying that this is gonna be a hard season for rayla

-callum and rayla aren’t with them meaning they’re probably together rn

-love how we already have no idea what’s going on

-oh boy it’s the same intro as season 4

-is she in the castle???

-oh my gosh callum doesn’t know about the coins yet i totally forgot

-i still haven’t fully processed what that poem means but i never get tired of hearing it

-hold up… connect with the ocean arcanum as in… CONNECT to the ocean arcanum?????? IS HE GONNA TRY TO GET ANOTHER ARCANUM DUDE YOU ALMOST DIED GETTING THE LAST ONE

-stop i love them so much

-lady y’all are the only two people in the library

-what’s wrong karim i thought you were all for the death penalty

karim: you need to be more ruthless if you’re going to be queen

janai: ok

karim: *shocked pikachu face*

-mr. no mercy is really expecting sympathy rn

-is that the dragon prince logo or am i tripping

-still very confused about stella’s portals are they just like pockets?

-there is no way that giant key fit in callum’s tiny pocket it’s the size of stella

-literally what is the aaravos creature’s purpose he’s kinda just there

-claudia needs to stop being so mean to terry

-has this room not been looked through once since viren “died”

-STELLA YOU CANT JUST EAT WHAT YOU WANT THERE WAS A HIGH CHANCE THAT THAT WASNT PEANUT BUTTER

-UHHHHHHHHHHHH

-how did they even know shes was there

-“soon you’ll be feeling like a tree in the springtime… re-leaved” this was funny idc

-A GIANT ADORABURR??????

-I WANT IT I WANT IT

-callum really said “my wife can do what she wants”

-claudia finally calms down for five minutes and a demon has a mental breakdown behind her

-also i really really hope “blood of child” is not referring to soren, don’t ask me why or how i had this thought

-WAIT WHY WAS SHE BRACING THE ADORABURR LIKE THAT IF YALL HURT THAT ADORABURR YOURE AS DEAD TO ME AS VIREN IS

-bait and stella becoming friends is something i didn’t know i needed

-DO THEY HAVE A DOGGY DOOR IN BETWEEN THEIR ROOMS FOR BAIT THATS SO CUTE

-oh yeah i totally forgot about what ezran was doing

-DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON

-does this dragon have another map perhaps?

-ezran is always so unfazed by everything that ever happens to him, like he’s always shocked for five seconds and then is right back to business

#the dragon prince #the dragon prince season 5 #the dragon prince thoughts #the dragon prince thoughts season 5 #tdp #tdp thoughts #tdp season 5 #tdp thoughts season 5

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anonymouslyspectacting · 1 year

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This is going to be done by audio speaker to text. Today, today has been a mixture of a bunch of things, rough, good, happy, depressed, anxious, nervous. All of the above to stuff that I like and dislike or whatever I guess. I guess I may say how today was, so today was good, my gf left to go to home to get ready for work @6:30 then I went back to bed after telling her I loved her, I woke up officially around 9:30-10:26ish I think, then I got a burrito and ate that for breakfast (it was really really bad, my dad tries his best to cook but sometimes his meals aren’t very goob). Then I waited for my friend and I played overwatch for the first time ever w/her and I had a lot of fun! Then I started to try to get into the groove w/playing Minecraft which didn’t really work too well sadly which made me nervous/kinda down and I was kind of going through a downward spiral which sucked, but then I started watching yt videos and that kinda blew the time away. After that I went bowling kinda w/my brothers and dad and I felt very overwhelmed because there were a lot of ppl there and it was very noisy and it was a super duper noise overload which just made me uncomfortable and paranoid that people may have been judging me or whatever. I just mainly listened to music when I was there on Spotify, but that didn’t really help too much, so I was kinda just stuck there not able to do anything :/, then after that we went home, I downloaded some more games on my 2ds and finally organized everything into folders, and ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I do need to drink water so I’ll probably get some after this post. I called my gf to say goodnight which was nice, but I wanted to talk to her abt this but I don’t wanna wake her up and bother her with how I’m feeling right now. There’s a lot of other things going on also, like how my mom’s ex boyfriend is and has been very very scary and how he has made her feel very unsafe and uncomfortable when she found out he was an alcoholic which isn’t good. And I feel like I’m not ever going to be a good enough son for my dad, because we just never get along at all and it really really sucks, and my brothers hardly ever talk to me, like ik my 15y/o brother isn’t because he’s going through 9th grade and he’s always talking to his friends or is in his room on his computer or is watching a tv show for the hundredth time and never wants to hangout w/me and I understand that, but me now being in college just makes me feel like I don’t belong in this family I’m in. Ik that seems scummy or whatever, but that is just how I feel rn. And my youngest brother bless his heart, has adhd and autism like I do, but he hasn’t ever been given consequences or anything if he did something wrong, plus he’s an iPad child and gets whatever he wants pretty much. And it’s like, it’s sucks cause he never even wants to talk to me :/. My other younger brother who is almost 10, is scared of his dad and his dad is trying to get complete custody of him so my mom can’t see him anymore. He didn’t even get a Christmas tree for them to decorate. I’m hoping to get him something really nice and special this year. Okay okay, I’m sorry this has been long, it’s just how I feel rn and how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a happy Xmas :p Gn ppl

#venting #family #anxeity #tw depressing stuff #autistic adult #adhd #college #student #home issues #griefsucks #biseuxal #lgbtqia

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erwinsvow · 2 months

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LMAO sorry but I’m emotionally attached to 💓 (and I don’t have the time and strength for an identity crisis rn)

Just wanted to add that I also love Antigone and Medea!! I remember I couldn’t stop thinking about that one line in Antigone where she essentially says she wouldn’t do any of what she did for a husband or a child because she could simply get others but she could never have another brother because her parents are dead

Like oh! ok! So true I guess…😋

(Had to remention this because it’s so kooky that we have this in common?! <33)

Also I’m sorry I know this is so basic but my favourite pick has to be Oedipus Rex and it’s so fun because it’s so generally known that you can talk about it with more people and hearing different people’s opinions on his hamartia is SO interesting!! Had a whole discussion with one of my professors because he thought it was his need for justice like sorry bestie I disagree but that’s ok! (…) (the interaction clearly left a mark on me lol)

Anyways I think one of the biggest reasons why Rafe and I wouldn’t work out is because this is the shit I would yap about for hours while this man is just trying to take his important calls

- 💓

haha okay bae no coral emoji.. for now.. wait ugh seriously!!! antigone thoughts going crazy rn.. this was a class i took two years ago but i still think about it all the time! her will and at times her temper just so resonates with me...almost wish i possessed more traits of antigone. but the whole story just makes me so.. emotional. and that quote stop! one of my favorite quotes is from the carson translation 'got a soul as raw as her father, no sense of compromise" because sheesh!!! she does!!!

and oedipus!!!! as a girl so hugely focused on incestual stories growing up (lol. the people on this blog are gonna be like girl.) but that play is like our bread and butter!!! so many different opinions and stop the best is discussions with professors !! tell me your opinion bae... personally i think it is more of a rashness to understand and belong than just his pride and need for justice. i mean who knows its been so long since ive read it! i want your scholarly opinions <3

noooooooooooooo he would be so intrigued. dont act like he wouldnt sit and listen to you ramble on and on about sophocles plays and then he would finally shut you up with a kiss to let you breathe <3

did you like the 1:45 piece!!!!!

#📮 asks #💓 anon

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mcalhenwrites · 10 months

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So excited to get near the end of Seasons, especially bc so many of my other stories are speaking to me. Short ramble about writing, pretty much.

I didn't get much sleep, and all attempts to get more have failed, so I guess I just try to stay up until about noon now. I have a little over an hour until midnight to get some more writing in for today's Camp NaNo word count, so I'll see what I can do with that. I just don't know if it'll be Seasons or one of its side stories at this point, bc I'm kind of thinking about twenty different ideas all at the same time. RIP But I'm so close to hitting 25k too! (It's a little over 24k rn) I set my word count goal for 40k, so this is doable... But ugh, so many words. :') I've packed some writing snacks for the night. Got my water, root beer, and this lunch box:

Already ate the peach parfait cup since I like them chilled. Slowly gonna nibble on this through the next few hours. XD The sandwich is a little bit of butter with some caramel pecan apple butter Cove gave me last month when they visited. :) (IT IS GODLY) Trying to eat healthy and get back to doing more of my walks/exercises, I slacked due to stress, pet deaths, Alvin health (which... he has another very minor start of a hot spot, we may have to talk to the vet about increasing his med dosage for apoquel but he's back in a cone and I need to shave the area to let it stay dry, I think this constant rain is tormenting his allergies + preventing his fur from staying dry), etc. But I went to the zoo this morning since my mom has a pass and can take me with her for free, and I took mostly photos of flowers. Most of them were bird of paradise aka STRELITZIA lmao I'm so predictable I also took a picture of some kind of orb weaver chilling by the chimps :3 I write a lot better + find a lot of inspiration when I go for walks and keep up with exercise, though my sleep is still rubbish bc my health is, so... it's pretty mild stuff for me. Okay, time to fucking write. Wish me luck? XD And if you're working on writing and happen to read this, GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO!!! :D

#mcalhen personal

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writinglittlebeasts · 7 months

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Pie & warm coat (if you have it lol) for the fall ask game? - @void-botanist

october-themed writeblr ask game

🥧 pie: let’s talk about food in your wip. are there any special recipes or traditional meals? do any of your OCs cook or bake?

very sad to say that i can't really cook myself and therefore it just like, doesn't come up often in my work. in an older, abandoned wip, i remember drawing up a short comic where the characters are making Grandmama's Kielbasa Recipe but there were no actual details or anything. a lot of the food that *does* come up in my writing is take-out or, like, eat-in or whatever. i've written about spaghetti pretty often because even i can manage to swing that and that's nothing to write home about.

the most stand-out food fact in wolf's tooth rn is that lovise can't cook for shit but loves to try anyway. this is i think the most food-heavy wolf's tooth is ever going to get, frankly:

Large serving dishes and entire pots are rolled out of the kitchen on a serving cart. When Santo leans past Brionna to set a salad bowl in the center of the table he jostles her head with his bicep; she snaps her teeth at him, and he laughs. A wide pot of vegetable stew finds its way between empty plates and glasses and silverware onto a worn potholder. Brionna holds her breath when Lovise lifts the lid away, but when Jacqueline leans in to take a whiff of its heavy steam she risks her own curious inhale; the stew’s beef broth is overpowering, but it doesn’t smell burnt, and if she focuses Brionna can smell the sweet carrots and cabbage, the nutty, meaty potatoes. Jack catches her eye. ‘Did this woman learn to cook while we weren’t looking?’ Brionna shrugs, turning to the head of the table where Ronda is turning a casserole dish crosswise to its length. She’s optimistic when her mother’s fingers alight on the lid’s round handle. She’s crushed when the lid rises and exposes the gnarled, blackened crust of what must have been macaroni in another life, and she watches Kirby’s face screw up as the sharp scent of it hits his nostrils. “There’s plenty more of that,” Lovise assures the horrified, balking masses absently (as she’s occupied revealing the next of her abominations), “because I know how you all can eat.” (It’s a turkey, and its skin is flaking like parchment onto its platter, stuffed with and leaking something blessedly store-bought.) Brionna is calculating how politely she can eat only Lovise’s passable stew when her father sets a tray of bread loaves beside the stew pot that smells so overwhelmingly of butter that every head turns to follow it, to inhale deeply and expel each other bitter scent. Santo had baked this, himself; he’s positively radiating with pride, having outdone Lovise and saved the meal. He had to have known that he would, bragging to Ronda while he’d made a mess of their kitchen. Fuck, but there are basil leaves crowning the crust. He’s earned one hell of a birthday present.

i think i ought to consider food more often because i think that little elements like this can add a lot to a character, it just doesn't really occur to me to try because i find cooking personally very frustrating

🧥 warm coat: share a happy or fuzzy scene from your wip!

no fuzzy scenes written yet for my current wips because they're all about agonies, but i'll dig one up from wips past. [minutes pass] ok so these are also about agonies, but i have some sweet shit in my fanfics lol

from partner in crime:

Red wraps Frank's hand up in his, squeezing the meat of it so firmly there isn't an ounce of space left. "I've never had any reason to be afraid of you." "No, you don't." Frank tries to sound tender and reassuring, and Red takes the opportunity to break the tension. "You can barely land a roundhouse." He teases. "Your footsteps are so heavy they can feel them down in the subway tunnels." A grin breaks out across Frank's face and he rounds the counter to pull Red (bearing his broken arm in mind) to himself. "Piece of shit." Red presses his cheek, more his ear, flush to Frank's chest, light smile on his own face while he slows and listens, lets his grip on Frank's hand loosen only for Frank's hold to tighten. He hums, and it radiates warmly between the two of them. "You might know me." Frank may not have Red's bat ears, but he finds that where Red's voice is soft it's heady with emotion. Tinged with bitterness, exhaled across Frank's heart. Crawling up his throat, settling sweetly at the back of his skull. Frank mirrors that feeling, winds his free hand up Red's shoulder to his throat and only stops when his fingers meet short hair at the back of his neck. "I know everything I need to know t'know that I--" He trips before the finish line; he can't make himself say it, feels like an ass for it. Like if he only tries hard enough he can give that to Red, like the way it sticks in his throat is a personal failing. Frank flattens his palm to the nape of Red's neck, half surprised that he doesn't tense or lean away, wait for the rest. That's the important part, right? The words, the surety of them. Red speaks again, the side of his mouth still moving over the thin shirt Frank wears so that it can be felt as well as heard. "Me too, Frank." "What?" "I love you, too, Frank." Red says it so easily. Just like that first time, when he pinned Frank for a sucker. 'I like my chances' , he'd said. Cocky son-of-a-bitch. He was right, though. Red's had Frank wrapped around his finger from the very start. Frank trails his hand up into Red's hair, cradling his skull in his hand. Red pushes back against it like a satisfied cat. Frank clears his throat, "'S'at what I was gonna say?" "I don't mean to dispute your ability to self-reflect," Red lowers their still-clasped hands to Frank's hip and then a bit farther, behind his back, "But I'm pretty sure you've been saying it for a while now." Overconfident, self-righteous, cocky motherfucker. Perceptive son-of-a-bitch; pain in the ass. Frank hides the surely embarrassing expression on his face in Red's hair, doesn't stop until his lips meet his own knuckles. What he asks next is muffled. "Yeah?" "Unless you were trying to keep it a secret," Red amends, "In which case, I've never noticed anything beyond the platonic. Professional, even." Frank's laughter, full-bodied, making his shoulders shake, is likewise muffled by soft, bright hair.

(that excerpt looks SO long on tumblr my god)

thank u for asking!!

#or #answers #void botanist #awtfr #fic stuff

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uglypastels · 10 months

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okay getting to the other stuff now that i’ve said my piece about the heart-wrenching cliffhanger you’re going to keep me up at night with lmao

- he was scared of losing her and was just gonna go be sad in his room by himself🥺

- even though he’s a good pirate (can’t believe i’m a pirate apologist now) he’s killed people before but what sits heaviest with him is that he’s hurt her!!! stfu that’s so pure

- as soon as he said to just call him eddie… oh babeyyy i knew shit was abt to go down in a sinful way. but no! poor eddie was blue balled, reader had a terrifying dream, and us (actual) readers were on the edge of our fucking seat

- the crew said they’d miss her!!

- hellfire shot first, right? (i kept getting interrupted trying to read that part so it’s fuzzy to me) WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE RED TAIL SANK I NEED THIS BACKSTORY OH MY GOD

CAN WE TALK ABT THE SMUT JFC. cause you rly fucking delivered on that

- ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’ ‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’

- ^fucking swooning over these lines

- ‘So you can be good for me.’

- ^this one too

- him admitting he lost his control due to jealousy!!! idec if it’s toxic (only cause this isn’t real life) jealous eddie is so hot

- as a tit (wo)man myself, i have to give my thanks for including boob stuff *chefs kiss*

more comments of after the smut cause i apparently have a million fucking thoughts abt this chapter i’m sorry😭

- they comforted each other after their nightmares that is so goddamn sweet im SICK

- ‘I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’ HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER THERE FOREVER. TURNED TF AROUND AND NEVER LOOKED BACK

- reader writing the ransom note and changing the whole story to try to spare eddie/hellfire was so smart oh my god u rly had me fooled that they weren’t gonna get in any trouble and be seen as fucking heroes or smth

- the comment abt him not having carpet fr cracked me up

- he read her mind and shut the idea of staying with him down:(( that son of a bitch (still love him tho)

- and he didn’t tie her hands tight so she could start swinging at any moment!! (c o m e o n reader…we’re fucking waiting! punch ur dad in the face!)

- ‘governor, i see we meet again’ again!!! AGAIN?!!?!

amazing fucking chapter. ur updates always make me so excited, and i’m eagerly waiting for more<333

Dont mind me just giddily giggling over all of this 🤭 but its really hard for me to reply bc i am just rereading your comments and kicking my feet with joy. You really know how to butter me up lmao and i wish i could write rn but i'll be at the beach the whole day so i will have to do with daydreams and the notes app- which, btw, do not ever again apologise for sharing your thoughts!! I as a professional attention whore absolutely thrive off of this so please do not stop

Well, ya know the title of the fic, and it is eddie so you know he's a sweetiepie at heart. He's just been through stuff (and yessss we will find out what. All questions will be answered i hope (unless people have questions to things i did not even consider but so far i dont think that has been the case???).

And listen, with [fan]fiction, there is no such thing as red flags 🫤🙄 only black ones with skulls on them 🏴‍☠️ and toxicity is what makes everything that extra bit spicy.

I am a bit sorry for blueballing yall at the beginning, but if i hadnt then we would not have gotten the rest of the chapter as it is now?? And that counts for something suuurely

plus, i tried to hold off on the smut as long as i could bc i really really do not like writing it, as much as i am an avid lover of it, which brings me to my next point of i really appreciate all the comments on the smut bc i honestly dont know what in doing most times and it was probably the main reason why it took so long to write this chapter because i just freeze up at the mention of genitalia lmao. My brain just becomes that cymbal monkey.

Hehe i was really proud of that pirate/princess line. And the carpet one. Just gotta break up the heaviness sometimes ya know. And you just know these two have that kind of "deprication as love language" affair. Is that a even a thing? Well i made it a thing. Especially since its basically canon for this au that eddie has a major degradation kink.

In a perfect world, they would have been welcomed as heroes, but in a perfect world they also would never have kidnapped her so 🫠

And yes Again 😌

#uglypastels answers #eddielives1986 #long post #hehehehe i love this #probably a bit too much #like youd think i had not written this #but i am really this obsessed with my own work #and what about it #i have very little else going on in my life

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gay-salt-amber · 2 years

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How about a ask based off a mall trip? Weird I know, but I'm craving that 7/11 rn and reading your Valentines Day fic sparked the idea somewhat The prompt basically is everyone in the dorms minus the some are separated during a break and that's not sitting right with everyone so they all set up a plan to take a day in the city! (All while "abducting" Riddle and Idia from their parents home, Floyd says it's not abducting it's saving). They go to the biggest mall in Twisted Wonderland and spend time there, dares were made and they shopped until they can't hold their things that much, but before that they spend some time and watched a film in the movie theater (I see some shippy moments of Kalim holding onto Jamil and Floyd being a smart ass giving him a thumbs up before Riddle or Azul smacks him, also I can't get the image of Trey and Jade behind Riddle who's between Cater and Floyd both getting popcorn and snacks from his lap and he's just RED like O////o "help") and the gang eats in the food court and they all just have a fun ol time.

It has nothing to do with the next gen of my previous ask but ye!

Also, I have a solution of your multishipper heart that I suffer with as well; Mixing

For me I like Riddle x Floyd and I also like Trey x Jade but also like Trey x Riddle and Trey x Cater, so I made them into kind of one big poly ship or wrote them as neighbors

Because of that when I saw Epel x Savanaclaw but also First Years as Poly I was like, "Oh, perfect mixing opportunity!" So, for me at least how I see it up to you, it'd be Epel, Deuce, Sebek, Jack, Leona, and Ruggie as one large relationship. I'd add Ace too but I like KalJamAce so I literally only see-

Ace: "You two are just jealous I'm dating two second years"

Epel: "Bitch we're dating each other, a second year, a third year, AND all our boyfriends can easily kick your boyfriend's asses!"

Nothing to do with that, just wanted to let you know and hope it amuses you. I'm awkward in ask since I'm a sly blob who thinks I'm weird, so hi. Shy blob here and shy blob is gonna start drawing some art based off your helpful headcanons, hope you're having a awesome day. - Raven/Rae (she/they)

So, I already did the first one a little bit but, I will write about the foot court and theater one! This wont be a full fanfic but it'll be snippets since ig that's my thing now! Also im putting Epel x Savanaclaw and Floyd x Cater x Riddle x Che'nya in here cuz this is my blog and I can :/

The film they go see is prolly a comedy, Rook and Vil wanted to go to a romance movie but were outvoted -w-

They over-do the butter on the popcorn but who's complaining? Certainty not them

Ruggie was gonna bring in his own candy but Leona bought him as much as he (and Epel) wanted when they got there... No matter how much Ruggie may have protested

Ruggie has his head on Leona's shoulder the whole time since there's a tall guy infront of them (One of the Leech twins prolly) and can't see the screen otherwise

Rook and Vil would be talking about the filming job and Vil would be like, "Thank goodness I didn't take this movie offer" and the movies worth like 1M with like a bunch of older and richer actors and it weirds everyone else out

So, Kalim cries from laughing very easily so he just has his arms around Jamil while crying-laughing into his shoulder

Riddle def is the one who smacks Floyd for laughing

Che'nya pops up next to Floyd, Riddle and Cater and they all quietly gasped, gave him kisses and hugs then went back to watching the movie with their other bf

Epel is trying so hard to not laugh at the dirty jokes cuz he knows Vil will flick him over the head for it (Rook is trying to hold back too dw) so he goes and sits with Leoruggie and just dies laughing at the next joke

So, Jack is sitting right on Leona's left side and Leona is whispering spoilers to him, bonus is that he's never seen the movie, hes just whispering random shit to him like, "He ends up dating her" or, "They get their head blown off"

During one of the final songs of the movie, Idia hacks into the speakers are Rick Rolls everyone

Floyd, Lilia, Kalim and Cater don't stay for the after credit scene because "We wanna be surprised for the next one!"

When they go to the food court, Che'nya wanted to do the Lady and the Tramp pasta thingy and Riddle goes, "Well how are we gonna do it? We don't have a four-way pasta noodle." And Floyd, being the dirty minded boy he is the second he heard four-way he started dying laughing, the other two joined in and it took Riddle 5 seconds to get it and he turned beat red

Jade and Trey get pastries and Cater films them reviewing them like their fucking Gordan Ramsey

"we drink boba tea to satisfy our ancient & innate urge to slurp up tadpoles from a puddle through a reed"-Ace Trappola 2xxx

They went clothing shopping and Epel and Kalim were trying on some things and asking their partners opinions, only one out of four of them gave any feedback and that was Leona since for some reason he wasn't overly flustered by how pretty Epel looked

Riddle wants help to look more androgynous and the minute that was said Che'nya was ALL over that shit like what did Riddle want? Shoes? Skirts? Pants? Hair stuff? He didn't care if it made Riddle happy so be it

Epel gets nervous when it comes to holding Leona's hand until Leona just sighs and initiates it and says, "If you wanna do it, just fucking do it."

Floyd gets them onto the roof somehow and they go up there and chill despite Riddles protest about it at first

They gave Rook the aux cord on the way back, big mistake

Leona buys them all alcohol afterwards and they all go to the Ramshackle dorm to enjoy themselves for the night

-----

Ik this is like super short but y'know ;-; also good luck with the fanart im really excited to see it :D -Amber

#jamil x kalim #Riddle x Floyd x Cater x Che'nya #Epel x Savanaclaw #Ask #TWST #gay #headcanons #rookvil #trey x jade

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arizona2004 · 3 years

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Hey can you please do a azriel x reader where the reader is struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m struggling myself rn and alsao there’s not enough of them :). I can totally understand if you didn’t feel comfortable doing it

Okay, here it is. Everyone responds to their eating disorders differently, especially depending on the ED and severity of it. I hope this has what you’re looking for, though.

Azriel x reader

Word count: 1499

Warnings: Eating Disorders! The reader struggles with an ED and some depression and anxiety and a little OCD. Please don’t read if you think reading the unhealthy thoughts of someone with an eating disorder may cause you to relapse. It is not healthy to think about food and eating in this manner. Love you all. Don’t forget to eat something and drink some water.

Waking up, I immediately don’t want to get out of bed. I pull the covers over my head, keep my eyes closed, and scrunch my legs up to my chest. When I wake up again, it’s only a little later in the morning. I still don’t want to pull myself out of bed, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I just lay there. Turning to Azriel’s side of the bed, I notice he’s not there. Well, of course not; he’s already left for work. I stare at the spot he usually occupies before finally sitting up and checking the clock. It’s 10 am.

Standing, I wrap my robe around myself and walk out of the room, refusing to look in the mirror. I practice breathing evenly and focus on my routine. I need to eat breakfast. I spend nearly 20 minutes in the kitchen, moving around, deciding what to eat. I’m opening cabinets and closing them, finding nothing satisfactory. Eventually, I decide to make some bacon. The stove is on, and bacon is sizzling. The scent of bacon is wafting toward me, and I feel like being sick. I can’t eat bacon; it’s greasy and fatty. Toast, I think, I’ll make toast. So I put the bread in the toaster and let it cook. It’s only when the toast is cooked that I start thinking about the carbs that go into it. I haven’t been exercising enough recently. I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I throw the toast out with the bacon and decide to make scrambled eggs instead. Whisking the eggs and milk together, I turn on the stove, letting the skillet heat and butter melt on it. When I turn, bowl in hand, ready to pour it into the skillet, it slips from my hand, spilling all over the floor. Anger and frustration wash over me; I guess I just shouldn’t eat this morning.

After cleaning the mess: doing the dishes that littered the sink and picking up the mess of eggs on the floor, I walk back up to my room. My head is pounding, and everything feels like it's crashing in on me. My heart is racing, and I just want to scream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night. We went out to Ritas, and it was supposed to be fun. But I just had to ruin things for myself. I barely ate. I stopped drinking early into the night. I wish I could have forgone the entire night. I wish Mor wasn’t so perfect. She has curves in all the right places and not a single flaw; I hate her for it, I think. Passing the floor-length mirror in my bedroom, I stop to look at myself. It’s been so long since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Why can't I have a body like Mor or Feyre or Amren?

I sit on the floor, just picking apart all the pieces of myself I hate. Thinking about all the insulting things people have said to me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes until I can’t even see my reflection. I’m clutching my chest as I struggle for air through my sobs. Why? Why? Why?

It’s an hour later, and I’m just lying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I pushed my earlier hunger away, so I can’t feel it anymore. I wish I couldn’t feel any of it. The tears on my face have dried, and I’m breathing normally again when a small piece of folded paper falls next to me.

The Note reads: Meet me at my office at 11:30?

Azriel. I turn my head to look at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearly 11:20: a choked sob leaves my throat. Standing quickly, I rush to the bathroom to put myself together. In 10 minutes, my face is washed, and I’m wearing enough makeup to cover any signs of my tears. And I brushed through my hair and threw on some clothes. Rushing out the door, I head for the House of Wind. In the time it took to get to the door of his office, I’ve done breathing exercises to even out my breaths and slipped on a smile.

Knocking on the door to his office, I peeked my head in. “Hey,” I say, biting my lip.

He looked up to me, a grin spreading across his face and arms opening for me. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of me. “You smell wonderful, love,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Hmm,” I hum, holding him tight.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look at me directly.

“Yeah,” An unconscious fake smile blooms across my face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He just stares at me for a moment longer, eyebrows bunching, when he asks, “have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Breakfast this morning,” I say, “when I woke to an empty bed,” I try steering the question away from myself.

He knows I’m lying, “are you hungry? We could get lunch.”

“It was a big breakfast, Az,” I say, “I’m not hungry right now.”

He grips my waist and pulls me closer, wrapping his wings around us, “What’d you eat?”

“I made toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon,” It’s not entirely a lie, I think to myself.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder, resting it there for a long few moments, “baby,” he mumbles, “please don’t lie to me. We’ve been through this before: I can help, just talk to me.”

My lips start to quiver, I’ve upset him.

“I’m with you through all the good And the bad,” he says, head still down, “please tell me the truth about how you’re feeling,” he lifts his head to look at me, and the worrying features of his face make me sob again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he consoles, wiping the tears from my face, “deep breaths.”

I take a deep breath in and out, and he does it with me. My tears start to slow, and the shuddering breaths even out. Az is running his hand up and down my spine, soothingly and when I’m ready, I explain everything, “I guess- things started getting bad yesterday. I didn’t really like the way I looked in that dress, and I just felt… off? Gross? I don’t know,” I take another breath in, “then Mor showed up, and she just looked so good in that dress; she’s so beautiful. And she ate and drank so much,” I’m ranting now, “Does she ever gain weight?!” I stop talking, trying to calm myself, and tears well up again, but I push them back. Looking back to Az, I start talking again, “I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m a horrible friend for being mad at her, but I just can’t stand her sometimes. I’m a horrible friend.”

I’m looking down between us now, but Az coaxes me back, “look at me,” he holds my face between his hands and pushes our foreheads together, “You are not a horrible friend. You are wonderful and kind. It’s okay to be jealous. You still love her, and you’re still a good friend. Now, tell me the rest.”

I shake my head holding back my tears, “It’s just the same thing. I just- it’s everything combined. I feel like I ate too much yesterday, and I haven’t worked out regularly this week. Then everything last night. So when I woke up this morning, everything was too much. Seeing myself in the mirror and thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. I’m not pretty enough. It’s all just so much. All at once,” my breaths come unevenly again, and tears are running down my face.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment; his hands drop from my face and pull me into him. His hands run through my hair, and he just soothes me quietly for a few minutes. When he pulls back to look at me, he says quietly and calmly, “You’re beautiful, love. And I know me telling you that isn’t just gonna take all the bad thoughts and feelings away, but I need you to know: No matter what you see in the mirror or what your mind tells you, you are so beautiful. You have your ‘flaws,’ but that’s okay. You just have to learn to love them the way I do. And I’ll help you with that; I’m here to help.”

I nod, tears still streaming down my face, and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in and calming myself.

“Can we go eat food now,” he asks quietly. I nod letting myself feel the hunger I pushed aside and relaxed further into his arms. He lifts me with him as he stands and walks us to the kitchen.

#azriel fic #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x reader #acotar fic #a court of thorns and roses #mental heath awareness #azzie

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k3rm1e · 3 years

Note

heyo!! i was wondering if you would mind writing hc’s for a reader who just had a major accomplishment but their parents don’t really congratulate them or anything, and then philza celebrates with them instead and tells reader how proud he is. i kinda want some dadza comfort rn :’) anyway, thank you sm!! have a great day <3

accomplishments

hello anon! i’m sorry i took a while to answer this. i went a bit off track with this and got A LOT more angsty, so i’m really sorry about that. If you want me to make a much more fluffier or mellowed-out version, i’d be happy to. please, read the trigger warnings before reading this.

i don’t plan on writing more angst-y things like this, especially not this angsty, so don’t worry. once again, please, if you would like me to rewrite this into a less emotional version i’d be happy to

cw: swearing

tw: talk of god and the church, slight manipulation, repetition of words

accomplishments:

holy shit. you were in disbelief. a state of shock. one million twitch followers. one. million. followers. you were silent. shock can have many effects on a person. some scream and laugh out of joy, or a misplaced sense of mania. others cry, because they cannot handle it. some remain confused, because their brains are unable to conceptualize the event. you were silent.

what should you do? would a “thank you” tweet be good enough or would it come off as insincere? should you wait to stream? or would that make people feel you didn’t care because you took so long? through the anxiety you could feel the true realization that you now had one million followers. like a truck, you were hit with the most excited feeling ever. getting up, you jumped around your room. you spun and jumped and cheered and whooped and yelled and smiled and danced and were overflowing with joy, with the acknowledgement that you had done it, you had really fucking done it.

opening the window above your desk, without a single fuck, you screamed. “WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!” let’s just hope your neighbors don’t wake up.

you stayed up all night, celebrating. tweeting out a thank you, you received congratulations from your fans and friends while you talked with the people in your discord vcs.

in the morning, your mother and father had woken up. with a newfound determination, you ran downstairs. streaming was your passion and you wanted to tell the world what you had done. but, because of limitations, your mother was your metaphorical world.

“mom! mom! mom! mother, mother, mumther!!” you shouted, dashing down the stairs, tripping over your feet. stupid wood flooring and slidy socks.

from your place at the bottom of the stairs, you heard her sigh, “yes, sweetie?”

you bounded over to her, setting your arms on the kitchen counter. from the hallway you could see your dad, who was sitting on the couch drinking his sunday morning coffee. “mom! guess what?” without giving her time to respond, you shouted, “i hit one million follows on twitch! one freaking million!”.

your mother didn’t seem as enthusiastic as you. “is that why you were causing such a ruckus last night? and, watch your mouth, even though ‘freaking’ isn’t a ‘true’ curse, i don’t want you swearing. especially not on the lord’s day. i couldn’t fathom going to church everyday, only to allow you to have a mouth like that.” she continued to stare at her work papers.

“oh, uh, okay mother. dad? did you hear me? i hit one million on twitch.” you awkwardly turned your head over to your father.

“she’s right, you know that, don’t you sweetie?” your father stood up, and made his way into the kitchen. “language like that, it’s shameful. surely, we don’t need you to have a private session with father paulson, do we?” your dad stood next to your mother, rubbing her back as he stared at you.

“no, no, of course not. um, i’m gonna go upstairs now.” you turned around, wishing you could simply disappear.

“without breakfast? are you truly that upset with us? we can’t have you ending up like those people, committing sinful acts and going to hell. god would never forgive you. we’re already taking a risk allowing you to stream, putting yourself out there.”

both your mother and father stared at you. your blood felt like ice in your veins. the white walls of your house seemed so much brighter, yet duller at the same time. everything felt a white-pure-pink-orange. your breathing got uneasy. choppy. in, out, out, in, in, in, out, in, in, out, out for different increments of time. 5, 3, 2, 7, 10, 9, 6, 4, 1, 6, 8, seconds, over and over and over.

“we just wanna protect you, dear. we love you, don’t you get that?” your mother stared at you.

you felt like a scene in those movies. the ones that directly cater to teens who thought their lives were shit when in reality they just hadn’t grown up enough to make sense of something yet. were you one of those teens? or is this actually wrong. you don’t think it is, but you don’t talk to others about this. family matters stay in the family��was a common phrase repeated in your household. the church was family, they could know. your mother and father, they could know. others, they must not know, never know.

“of course, mother, father.” you wanted to force yourself to speak, but syllables were incapable of getting past your lips. your mouth was full of peanut butter from the sandwiches served in your elementary school cafeteria. but, the partly frozen chocolate milk always washed it down. “of course. i love you guys too. love you.” you smiled, a disgusting smile that felt violating to exist on your face, violating, violating, violating.

you dashed up the stairs, to your room, up, up, up. running in, you wanted to slam the door, scream out the window, puch your pillow, smash your pc, cry, whatever you could do to get out your emotions. but instead, you lightly shut your door and slowly walked over to your desk chair to see who was online. you would go live later. it was only 5 AM, after all. they could wait. at least, you hoped they could.

opening discord, just to see what everyone was doing, you saw philza minecraft was online. you went over and messaged him, ‘phil. philza. philza minecraft. vc please?’ in response, you received a short, ‘sure m8, gimme a minute’ you waited, until you heard the noise confirming he had joined.

“good morning phil.” your energy from before had receded back into the confines of your chest. the prior excitement was gone and replaced with a feeling of fatigue.

“morning mate, how are you? congrats on the one mill!” phil sounded excited, happy for you. you smiled, chuckling a bit.

“i’m alright man, just tired. how are you? and, thanks for the congrats.” you smiled, feeling the fatigue set in.

“i’m good. but you, you don’t sound very good. couldn’t sleep, could ya’? that was how i was when i hit one mill. way too excited to sleep.”

“yeah. yeah, i’m just tired.” you were getting a bit too tired to talk. the day had barely started, and yet the full-body emotional exhaustion had set.

“‘just tired’? the hell happened kid?” phil’s voice sounded concerned. fuck. the last thing you wanted to do was worry him. he had his own life and you had already caused enough trouble today.

“it’s nothing big phil, seriously. just my parents.” there, a slight bit of information. family matters still within the family, just a few words.

“they being shitbirds? or are you lying, and something big did happen?” he was being inquisitive, which was dangerous. questions were dangerous.

“no, why would i lie?” his inquisitiveness would continue, you knew. so you spilled the metaphorical beans. “they just, just weren’t as supportive as i’d wished they were when i told them. i was really psyched, y’know? and them, just sort of, not giving a shit? i don’t know man, it just feels bad.”

“i get you. it’s shit, when people don’t care about your accomplishments. my parents never really saw streaming as a true profession in the beginning, which led to shit like you describing. i promise it gets better though, even if it feels like shit now. and, for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.”

“it’s fine phil, you don’t need to try to make me feel better. i’m okay, seriously.” you didn’t need or want his pity. accepting it would feel patronizing.

“no, you need to understand that i’m not fucking around. one million is a big fuckin’ thing, especially for you who hasn’t been streaming all that long to achieve. it’s fucking amazing, mate. be proud of yourself, for christ’s sake.” his fake anger chimed through your headphones. even though you were being berated, you still felt better.

“thank you, phil. i needed that.”

“your welcome, mate. and look, anytime your parents are being shit, don’t try to hold it all in. call me, or wil, or someone, okay? don’t hold that shit in.”

you fake sighed, just to piss him off. “okayyyyyy….”

“good. now, go take a nap or some shit. i love you, kid.”

“love you too, dadza.” this time, your words didn’t feel forced. the smile on your face wasn’t violating, but an invitation to better times. it would be alright. okay.

#mcyt x reader #mcyt x reader angst #philza x reader

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siriusmydeer · 3 years

Note

hey bestie, how about fluff prompt 10 with ron or harry?😁😁😁

the spiral of weather

ron weasley x reader

summary: you and ron share a rain kiss.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: self doubt, insecurity, swearing, weird teenager awkwardness, swearing, kissing, mentions of being sick

a/n: i hate this, thank u isa for inspo without u i would be crying rn, u can so tell this is rons pov by the amount of times i used the word ‘bloody’

ron he had a problem— not a problem, one might say. instead he had a nagging pronouncement that he couldn’t dismiss no matter how much he desired to do so in that halfwitted mind of his.

he had never felt the emotional wave of burn or passion in his lifetime as a teenager, that was till his eyes were strictly met with yours for the very first time. you’d think an eleven year old could possibly decipher feelings of yearning and endearment but, here we are years later.

books, movies, and even life normally if you were someones best friend the relation between the two parties happened to remain completely platonic. unless you were the cobalt-eyed, red-headed boy who happen to be the youngest son of the weasley family.

then that is in fact, not the case.

across the library you were irritatingly endeavouring cormac mclaggen with charms, attempting to explain how to flick your wand in the correct direction of a cheering charm. he took it upon himself to grab your hand and guide your hands together in the motion of his hand holding your hand, that was grasped on the wand.

classic bloody flirt.

ron was coerced persuaded, by hermione to finally catch up on the arithmancy homework that had been buried beneath his four poster messy bed stuffed in a sweaty quidditch bag. whilst hermione was attempting to explain the newest lesson from the class that ron could not be less bothered with.

his gaze could almost set a ring of fire into cormacs left sleeve on how strict his gaze was. the weather out earlier was ideally sunny, idyllic to hang out with your friends outside and possibly for a swim in the black lake. that was rons plan to pose towards you, maybe harry and hermione as well; but mostly you.

now the sky had ombré shades of washed-out dreary grey and depressing indigo. if the weather channel had existed in wizard culture it definitely would’ve called for overcast and a high percentage of downpour.

but when it came to romance hermione could be a bit numb in the head and decided to whisk him away from you, giving yourself a sweet opportunity for a free day that cormac just swooped right in an took it to his bloody advantage.

he was contemplating— he was contemplating so hard his brain could blow to bits if was possible. i mean he was a wizard after all, what wasn’t possible?

hermione clapped her smooth hands in front of his grimaced face, paying almost no mind to her peers that had glared in her direction from the disruption of noise.

“bloody hell, ‘mione! be anymore subtle would you?” rolling his eyes in the direction of the brunette who offered a ‘hermione scowl’ as ron and harry would say, in response.

“be anymore subtle would you?” she mocked. “you look like your about to go over there and snap his neck for godric’s sake! just talk to her, your so oblivious ronald.” she chastised, completely aware of his feelings towards you.

hermione knew? how would she know? who else knew... did you know? was he to obvious? should he have made a move? his brain could’ve been moving atleast a billion miles a minute on his overwhelming questions surrounding your possible reviprocations of feelings.

he looked at the smirking brunette for a moment, extremely bewildered but her bluntness. he raised a scarlet-brow in thought; if he was feeling gryffindor, reckless and impulsive or ron, some-what sensible and hidden.

he was a gryffindor after all.

getting up from his sear, the chair making a a smell reverberate at the sudden friction between the oak-wood floor and the cherry-coloured chair. clacking his shoes against said-oak floor creating a beeline directly to your sat figure with mclaggen.

your brows creased at the noise, diverting your eyes around the library and seeing the towering redhead walking directly over to you. your eyes widened for a moment, your (e/c) irises perfectly clear for viewing.

before you could even stutter out a word he got a grasp on your forearm, rapidly pulling you out of the library and into the somber courtyard. “merlin, christ, ron! give a girl a damn warning first, nearly gave me a heart attack!” your breath extremely rigid at his swift pace when guiding you away from peering eyes of both of your schoolmates.

“do you like mclaggen?” his voice was sputtered, almost like he said the question before he could even muster it as a thought.

if you’re eyes were wide before, now they looked like they were bulging straight from your eye sockets. “are you drunk? high? under the influence? potioned—“

“answer the question!”

“absolutely not, i would rather have offed myself than have feelings for someone else. plus i’m interested in someone else...” you trailed off in sentence, accidentally letting it slip that you in fact fancy someone.

paying no mind to the fact that you basically had confessed your feelings he nodded his head in a forward direction, offering a walk. you shrugged once before keeping in step with him around the courtyard.

“lavender brown, hmm...?” you offered, attempting to create a conversation with him; possibly making it more awkward.

why would he flip if you liked mclaggen? he was... alright looking, played quidditch, and an alright student. i mean there’s no big deal or anything of a sort.

“oh no, i fancy—“ drop.

oh.

oh?

drop.

it was raining.

“we should probably—“

“err, yeah....”

both of you peering up at the gloom sky above, small raindrops quickly pattering down on the both of you. you sped up your pace as well as ron attempting to get shelter in the downpour that was rapidly approaching as the both of you.

the continuous patter on the ground cause a few absent puddles into curvature of the grass surrounding the castle, causing small muddy hollow patch right beneath your left foot.

“oh!—“ you suddenly spoke, grabbing into the nearest surface your hand could grapple at; rons ashen coloured sweater.

his hands caught onto the curvature of your torso, holding you into a dip-position. one of your hands had grasped onto his bicep and the other on the bend of his muscular shoulder.

“well that was... quick?” clearing your throat awkwardly, looking into the sheen-cobalt irises of your best friend.

“i fancy you.” he spoke briskly, nonchalantly telling you how for the past five years he has been irrevocably besotted with you and essentially how he would die without not mowing if you reciprocated those feelings.

that was a bit melodramatic, but you understand the idea.

“you fan— wow that was fast, i didn’t even get a moment to like— think, maybe?”

oh my god, are you an idiot? i mean, who responded like that, like ever? the boy you had single handedly, pined for just admitted that and you say, ‘wow that was fast.’

he madly spun you onto your feet, both of you completely drenched from the recurrent downpour looking upon both teenagers. clothes anxiously sticking to your skin, and attempting to maneuver you hair behind your face.

“ron, why’d you— why would you want someone like me? i mean have you seen yourself, compared to me? ‘m just— ‘m not good enough.” you trailed between sentences, panting like you were out of immense breath but only overwhelmed trying to differentiate your thoughts.

maybe ron had drank to much butter beer, maybe he had an epiphany, but he was truly not taking no for an answer today and did all the work himself. he clasped both of your cheeks in his freckled palms, forcing your eyesight into his stare.

“have you gone absolutely mad? what do you mean, ‘i’m not good enough.’ i mean you’re one of the smartest people i know! and you’re always helping people, you don’t slap me across the face when i’m stupid most— stupid all the time! i mean i’m a bloody git and you still put up with me, i truly don’t know how, but you do! and y’know you make me want to be a better person and all that bloody crap, but y/n, you are worth it! so don’t tell me you’re not.”

the boy huffed in one sentence, trying to prove your worthiness not only to you but what was standing right in-front of you. not only just ron, but the way this would effect your relationship. after all that, even if you rejected him for his sake, the friendship would never be the same. could you take a risk? put it all on the table, for the first time in your life and possibly make something worth it?

you stood there frozen, but your eyes moved erratically to study his face. his pale ivory flesh, slightly down-turned pointy chin, full salmon-coloured lips. the study could go on, how you memorized every micro-detail of the boys face.

normally the scarlet-haired boy would’ve been the one in doubt; over himself, his peers, his schoolmates, his friends, and most-likely his family. but right now he didn’t have one single doubt in his mind, his only thought was wanting you.

you may not have been godric gryffindor himself, but you were impulsive on decisions, even the ones that you were petrified to make. so you kissed the boy, slotting his slightly chapped lips with your smooth strawberry tasting ones.

feeling the new and odd comforting taste of pumpkin juice, and spearmint bleed onto the curvature of your tastebuds. one of his hands taking a grasp at your hip, kissing you with all the vitality he had left. feeling the blearily daze of adrenaline scamper right through his veins, going immediately to his head.

he was completely, and hopelessly in love with you. the amount of intimacy he felt kissing you beneath a brewing storm was unmatched to anything or anyone else.

you pulled away for a moment, seeing how his lips tried to reattach to yours in such a quick paced moment. you snickered for a moment, the dread leaving your system second by second.

wanting to feel the eternal warmth and happiness the boy granted you, were you still a bit unsure, yes. but ron would spend his last dying breath proving himself to you.

“if we stay kissing in the rain, one of us will catch a cold.” your whisper was barely coherent over the boys pants, and the repetitive rain patter that beveled from the sky.

“i’ll take care of you.” he offered with a slanted smile, his vision bleary from admiration.

“‘course you will.”

of course he will.

taglist: @ronbrokemyheart @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter smut #harry potter #ron weasley fluff #ron weasley smut #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley one shot #ron weasley x oc #ron weasley x you #ron weasley x slytherin reader #ron weasley x y/n #ron weasley #ron weasley x reader #ron weasly imagine #ron weasly x reader

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