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#so I can recover from that five day week
lostinmirkwood · 1 year
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I get every other Friday off at work. Last week was my off-Friday, I took tomorrow off for marathon prep. If I take May 5th off, the way holidays and already planned PTO line up I won’t work another 5 day week until the end of June. Sold!
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wickedhawtwexler · 4 months
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i found out today that i wasn't the only person on my team to get laid off, which makes me feel better. misery loves company etc
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neverendingford · 8 months
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#tag talk#vent#idk. I've been dissociating worse than normal recently. leaving the stove on. forgetting to clock out at work.#I've caught myself spacing out more. staring at the same place and I know how long it's been because I look back through my music queue#I'll flip back five songs until I finally find one I remember listening to. I can't do anything without constant music or other audio#I feel like I'm not myself. or.. idk. not in my body. and I don't know who's piloting it. we're both tired and dead.#I don't know what autopilot program is running this body but it's not very good.#I keep realizing that time is passing but I'm not the one spending those minutes#I'm afraid to drive anywhere because I don't know if I can safely drive. I've just been so faded into the background#I just. idk. this stress is fucking me up and I need to keep moving forward I need to keep moving forward I need to keep moving forward I n#but everything is so hard everything takes so long everything is going to be so much more work#and I keep fighting the trained bit in my head that keeps reminding me how well we slept the day after I drained my blood into the tub#how empty and clear my head was in the three days I recovered from opening myself up#I want to be back there. a closed environment. no more worries about my responsibilities.#to be fair. I did spend a pretty bad night with panic attacks and flashbacks and shit so I shouldn't idealize it so much#yeah. hmmmm. I think I've done my best to not think about. but it wasn't all That great#idk. I just. I'm so distant right now. the input lag is hard to work with. I'm zooming in just to see anything.#I'm traveling backwards at constant acceleration and yet somehow I'm still present in the world#my ears drone and the pressure builds in the back of my head but I still have work tomorrow and I can't afford to die#I have too many things to do and I know I will feel better in a few weeks#but also. Christmas is coming up. religious trauma is gonna be a constant zap in my brainstem until January#I was gonna rip a new one but I decided to shower first And Then do it but I lost motivation after the shower so uh I guess I've healed?#like. I just... don't wanna anymore. which is a testament to my recovery over the past five years I suppose.#idk. I'm gonna make it through but I'm not gonna be happy about it
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ms-demeanor · 3 months
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Hello,Do you have any tips for recovering from internet brain rot? It's like my patience has dried up and if there's a huge amount of text (even about topics I'm very interested in) that I have to read, I get annoyed and just don't interact with the material at all.
I have multiple tips!
TL;DR (Because of course I generated a wall of text): Take a break from the internet, create a schedule for getting yourself used to reading longer texts, take breaks while reading, and perhaps reconsider how you interact with The Internet and the world in general.
Here are the basic "to reduce the brain rot just don't interact" tips:
Take a break. Give yourself time off from The Internet (for these purposes The Internet is the social media industrial complex; clickbait news, recommended videos, social media sites, etc. You don't have to totally check out of email or your local news site, just get away from the huge time sucks). I'd say to take at least one day a week where you're online for less than an hour a day, and to maybe work up to doing a week-long break from whatever the main agents of rot are.
Once you've identified the main agents of rot, give yourself a time limit or set up rules for yourself. I don't let myself look at social media in bed, for instance; no staying up late on my phone, no scrolling before I get up and start my day. I don't give myself a strict time limit anymore, but for a while there I was very firm about "you only get to go online 4 hours a day" with myself.
Don't comment (or at least only share the things you really want to share). If you feel the need to argue, or if you feel pressured into sharing something, don't. Step back, maybe even open the post in a new tab or send it to yourself, and come back later. If you've been thinking about it and have decided it IS something you care enough to talk about, share it. If you look at the tab and feel stressed out or still feel reactive, close the tab and walk away.
Go out and interact with the real world in a non-work capacity for a few hours a week; take walks or go shopping or go out and take pictures of insects. Touch grass so that The Internet is not the only thing you're doing with your downtime.
Here are the "work on reading longer texts specifically" tips:
Set a reading goal for yourself. Maybe you want to read one New Yorker article a week, maybe you want to read all the way through news articles, maybe you want to read novels like you used to in high school. Figure out what your actual goal is and articulate that goal to yourself.
Set up a practice schedule and gradually increase the amount of time you're reading. Don't go from short tumblr posts to a novella, go from short tumblr posts to slightly longer news articles, then to slightly longer essays, then to a novella. You can do this in literal paragraphs if you want to - maybe your goal for your first day is to read five paragraphs in a row, and the second day is seven, and the third day is ten, etc, until you are comfortably reading for longer amounts of time without counting paragraphs. (Try this with books from gutenberg.org; read a classic you haven't read a few paragraphs at a time and if you find yourself going over your paragraph count, let yourself run with it. If you finish a book, good for you, find another one and start again.)
Set up a maintenance schedule. If your goal is to read longer news pieces, try to read a longer piece every week and try to read to the end of every news article you open. If your goal is to read novels or longer nonfiction, try to read a book a month (maybe setting aside dedicated time each week to read, maybe Thursday evenings are book time now). If you find yourself falling back into old habits, take a break from The Internet and do some more rigorous practice for a while.
If you find yourself getting frustrated while you are reading you can also take a break! Read until you get frustrated and then *instead of switching to a different page or closing the article* close your eyes or look out the window or away from the screen for thirty seconds (count 'em! count out the time in your head) and then continue reading. You can also take a longer pause and sit and think about why you're getting frustrated. Is it the subject matter? Is it just looking at this text for longer than a couple minutes (if you are experiencing FOMO because you're reading for another few minutes instead of scrolling, the harder tips at the bottom are going to be important to you)? Are you comfortable? Are you reading this text to procrastinate from something and the procrastination is making you nervous? Are you trying to read to the bottom of your dash and reading a long post is taking up more time than you want while scrolling? Are you bored? Genuinely and very seriously: are your eyes straining and does your head hurt (if this is the case when is the last time you had your eyes checked or your glasses prescription updated)?
Here are the much harder "examine yourself and reassess your reactions to things" tips:
Work on re-training your attention span.
Identify something that you enjoy and find deeply engaging, and schedule some dedicated time for that thing. Set a literal timer (it can be a short amount of time at first) and sit down and do the thing without switching to a different website or opening up an app on your phone. This can be re-reading or watching a couple episodes of a show you like or listening to your favorite album while you sit down and draw. What's important is to spend a longer time focusing on doing something you DO like before attempting to spend a longer time focusing on something you DON'T like.
When you're starting on things you DON'T like, start with things you mildly don't like, or that feel tedious but aren't actually unpleasant. One way I do this is by transcribing poetry; I look up poems that I connect to and I transcribe them into a notebook that I have for that purpose. I enjoy having the finished product, but I don't enjoy the process, so it takes some effort to stick with it. Maybe there is a boring book you have been trying to get through, maybe you need to detail your car, maybe you've been trying to take up embroidery - these are good things to make yourself pay attention to (having music or a podcast on can help, but avoid watching videos or opening social apps)
When you're okay at that kind of thing (doing something not actively unpleasant) work on your attention span for things you ACTIVELY don't like. I don't think you should be a masochist about this, but you should work on being okay with doing unpleasant things for a sustained period of time. All of us have to do unpleasant stuff sometimes, and it's better to be able to pay attention to it for an hour at a time than it is to put it off forever.
This leads into the next Big Tip which is:
Work on being less reactive
Find something that you dislike; I'm going to use conservative talk radio as my example.
Expose yourself to the disliked thing for short periods of time (under ten minutes, maybe under five minutes).
Work on moderating your emotions during the time spent exposed to the disliked thing. If it makes you angry, work on intellectualizing the anger without becoming agitated by it. If it makes you sad, work on accepting that sadness without letting it drag down your mood. This isn't precisely about becoming numb to stimuli, but it is about being more in control of how your emotional reactions impact you.
Analyze the disliked thing. Why does it make you angry? Is that on purpose by the creator of the thing? Would it make someone else angry in the same way? How would you explain the anger to a neutral third party?
Consider responding instead of reacting. Let's say you're seeing a lot of very sad and upsetting things online and it's making you sad and upsetting you. You re-share these things because you don't feel like there's anything else you can do or you get angry when you see people sharing incorrect information, perhaps you argue with people about this. Now try looking at the upsetting things through the lens of point number four. This has upset you; how has it upset you? And once you've thought about how it upset you and have articulated that to yourself, find out what you can DO. I cannot make conservative talk radio go off the air, but I can support the groups harmed by conservative talk radio; thus there is no point in me getting upset and angry about conservative talk radio when I could be helping the people they target instead.
And that gets us to the last big tip which is:
Ask yourself if you are spending your time in a way that is enjoyable and edifying.
We all have limited time in our days and limited time in our lives. If you are finding yourself frequently frustrated online, it's a good time to consider whether you want to be spending so much time online.
If you feel like The Internet has become a rat race in which you can't read more than a few paragraphs without getting frustrated, there's a good chance that not only are you spending too much time on The Internet, but you're also spending it on doing things that you don't particularly like.
A realization like yours, Anon, that you are getting frustrated with any longer texts, can actually be really helpful because it provides a good opportunity to look at what you're engaging with and consider the questions:
Is this something I enjoy?
Do I feel good when I do this thing?
And that's a great way to figure out how to get rid of things that are leading to your background frustration. Maybe that looks like paring down the list of blogs you follow, maybe that looks like unsubscribing from some youtubers and podcasts, maybe that looks like uninstalling apps, maybe that looks like blocking a whole bunch of people and terms on your socials.
I don't think that everything we do has to help us grow as a person or expand our consciousness or anything like that, but I do think it's important to prioritize doing things that you like and doing things that you feel good about.
Like, I'm not doing something *wrong* if I spend an afternoon on Youtube watching drama channels every once in a while, but if I come out of a few afternoons of watching youtube drama channels feeling restless and anxious and like I wasted my time - even if I enjoyed myself while I was watching - it's probably a good idea for me to take a break from drama channels and see if there's something I can do instead that will make me feel better.
ALSO, A NOTE:
You are an animal that requires significant enrichment in your enclosure.
Think about tigers. Tigers in captivity are going to be excited to get high-value treats for any reason. They will eat and enjoy the treats. But if a tiger in captivity is only given the treats and never given any other form of activity to engage with, it is not going to be a happy tiger. If you start putting their treats in a pumpkin or a puzzle feeder or giving them toys to play with, that is going to be a much happier tiger.
Please give your brain things to play with that are more than just treats (though it does need some treats!). Make yourself a happy tiger. Your brain need a puzzle feeder, not a treat button.
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httpsserene · 8 months
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𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥
𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟰: 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗲𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗼 / 𝗺𝗮𝘅 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
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📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you can't remember the last time you've gotten to spend more than three days at a time with both of your boyfriends. you understand how demanding their job is but, you just can't remember the last time they really exhausted you...pleasurably. and then winter break comes around , and they have all the time they need to make you lose your mind. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. overstimulation. light dom/sub. quickies. cunnilingus. vaginal fingering. vaginal sex. unsafe sex. safewords. creampie. come eating. squirting. hand job. masturbation. dacryphilia. mention of taking explicit photos. praise kink. aftercare. set after the 2023 season. no beta we die like carlos’ fuel system. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 6.5k words 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: daniel ricciardo/max verstappen x black!fem!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: take me away • daniel caesar
𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: set post 2023 season. mm, i luv me some danny caesar–i got to see him live this year 😛 i was originally gonna pick a classic country song in true american fashion to show some patriotism for the austin gp—as a black woman, i can attest that we love our country bangers—but take me away just fit perfectly. and daniel is definitely taking yall somewhere this upload—max and reader are just along for the ride 💀. i tried to write sub!max, i think it came across well, and ahead of time i sincerely apologize to the maxiel truthers…i think i may have slayed. i will not be paying for your therapy < 3 🙂 (and if you think i changed the summary, stfu no i didn’t 😌) enjoy y'all !!!!
do you want to be added to my general taglist? or my f1 kinktober taglist? send me an ask!
cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss
to see what kinktober uploads have already been completed or to see what's coming next check my f1 kinktober masterlist ! for all of my works see my general masterlist!
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this past racing season was long; daniel knows that well; he went from being the third driver at red bull, to having a seat at alphatauri, to breaking his wrist–and still managed to recover to drive in the last five races. max can also account for how lengthy this season was; he dominated every race illustrated by his 10 consecutive wins, won his team the constructor’s championship 16 races in, won his third world driver’s championship the following week through a sprint race, and still had to stick around for five more races. but, daniel and max both know who has the best firsthand account of how prolonged and draining the formula one 2023 season was.
you.
daniel knows that you’re they’re biggest supporter; you’re a sweetheart. and while you haven’t vocalized your displeasure for the twenty-three races this year–he can feel your dejection. at the start of the season, everything was seen through rose-colored glasses; max was winning, the three of you were having champagne-drenched celebrations in hotel rooms–so filthy the poor staff probably had to incinerate the sheets. you were satisfied; and daniel was with you whenever red bull didn’t want to parade him around at a grand prix. but as the months progressed and as daniel got a seat, the demanding nature of formula one was observable. the longer season had stolen them from you–they were flying from country to country, the gaps between races only long enough to only have them home for two or three days at a time, before they had to fly out and adjust to a new time zone. leaving your two boyfriends unable to make a mess of you as often as you all crave in doing so. phone sex is hot–but it can lose its luster over almost nine months. they’ve been neglecting you–even though every time either one of them suggests that notion, you disagree vehemently– but, it’s the truth.
they pride themselves on the fact that they used to make you beg for them to stop drawing orgasms out of you...but recently your sex life has consisted of dry-humping like horny teenagers, frantic pussy-eating and cock-sucking, and quickies in the shower. so, max and daniel formulated a plan.
after abu-dhabi, the three of you returned home to max’s monaco flat and fell into bed. you’re comfortably laying completely on top of daniel, front to front, and your head is tucked under his chin, turned to the side to face max, who’s settled on his side facing the two of you, arm draped over your back, with his hand squeezing at your waist randomly as he talks to daniel. you’re fighting sleep and losing; eyelids fluttering closed every now and then against your will, breath slowing as you edge closer and closer to sleep. you're floating on the brink of unconsciousness until you're dragged away at the soft sounds of daniel and max rousing you.
“there ya’ go, honey,” murmurs daniel, his voice rumbling in his chest underneath you, “we got somethin’ to ask you, before we let ya sleep, sweet girl.”
max’s hand shifts to rub at the length of your back, and you clear the sleepy haze from your mind enough to nod your head and hum softly in question, “m’kay.”
daniel gently pulls your head from his neck with his tattooed hand on your nape, making sure your pretty eyes, foggy with sleep, make eye contact, “how do ya’ feel about spending december in australia, hmm? a sunny christmas–on the ricciardo ranch; you, me, max and our families–ain’t that perfect, honey?”
max smiles softly at your pout–you’re never one to appreciate having your sleep interrupted–before adding on to daniel’s question, “jimmy and sassy can stay with the sitter; i already spoke to her a few days ago. she’d be thrilled to have them, so you don’t have to worry about where’d they stay. i don’t think i can get pet passports in three days nor do i want to see how two bengal cats act on a private jet for twenty hours.”
a few seconds pass, max and daniel searching your face for any hint to a possible answer. you blink a few times, before you murmur faintly, “‘m okay with it…can i go to sleep now?”
max laughs tenderly, guiding your head back into daniel’s neck before he scoots closer and rests his own head on the australian’s shoulder, “yeah, mijn schatje. sleep well.”
daniel wraps the arm pinned under max around him, pulling him closer to drop a kiss on his forehead. his other hand falls on your back over the dutchman’s, caressing it softly. he holds the two of you as tight as he possibly can, the big grin on his face only seen by the ceiling. he has his whole world in his arms right now, but come christmas time, his whole universe–his family–will be under the same roof back home in australia.
the next three days are filled with an absurd amount of packing. max and daniel have five suitcases between the two of them—you have five for yourself; it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. the night before your flight, they watch you pace around the bedroom making sure there’s nothing important you’re forgetting. jimmy and sassy had been dropped off at the sitter’s, and max and daniel had already moved all the luggage to the entryway for the early flight. the two drivers had stopped trying to convince you to join them in the bed and cuddled together, knowing it’s best to let you work out your anxieties now so you don’t overthink on the flight.
as you start combing through the closet again, max whispers to daniel, “we could fuck the nerves out her right now, danny.”
daniel smacks max’s hip, smirking when he whines quietly, “no, maxy. she has to sit for an almost twenty hour flight, we can’t make that any more difficult for her.” the dutchman huffs, unhappy with the answer even though he knows it's the logical course of action.
dan continues, “remember: as soon as we get to the ranch and settle in—we'll be alone for a week before my parents come ‘n join us. we’ll have plenty of time to take her apart and put her back together.”
daniel was wrong. after y’all landed in perth, and made the drive out to the countryside—it was apparent that the three of you weren’t the only ones at the ranch. his parents had come early to make sure the ranch was prepped and fully stocked for your vacation, and prepared a home cooked dinner to welcome you in. dan can’t help his big smile from becoming a permanent fixture on his face as he watches his mom and dad fawn over you and max. grace pulls you into the house, instructing the men to bring the luggage inside while she gets to fixing you a plate heaping with barbecue. joe affectionately calls max ‘son’ with a tight hug, congratulating him on his third championship before they all make their way into the house.
the original plan is put on the back burner as daniel watches you and max bloom under the loving attention from his parents. the days passed quickly, all of them spent horsing around the farm; horseback riding, dirt biking, atv riding, making a trip out to the beach, eating good food, and sleeping well. dan sees max’s pale skin pinkening and your melanated complexion glowing with warmth from the caress of the australian sun. your afternoon naps are taken underneath the warm rays, stretching out in any slice of sun you can catch, bathing in it like a cat. max and dan do as many things as they can shirtless attempting to get their tan in as quick as possible—dan tans gracefully, max, on the other hand, burns like a lobster first before his tan becomes apparent.
they fucked you on the second day after your arrival, but not exactly how they were hoping too. it’s still a relatively short affair—for their standards, at least. while it quieted the need within you, it didn’t completely satisfy the urge for any of you. daniel had to coax you into biting a pillow to muffle your squeals, and have max nearly choke on his tattooed fingers to quiet his whining—dan himself clenched his jaw so tightly to prevent his own moans from escaping that he’s surprised he didn’t crack a tooth. he loves his parents, but he’s genuinely going to snap if he doesn’t get to ruin you and max without worrying if they could hear how he makes you and max beg for him.
on the fifth day, you wear your first sundress to lunch and max pulls daniel in the kitchen to muffle a scream into his chest. 
“dan, baby—i love your parents,” max starts, his eye twitching, “you know i do! but, i can’t go another day without hearing her scream for me—for us.”
they’re only men. very desperate men. and you had the nerve to parade yourself in this flowy, yellow, strapless sundress at a meal they have to suffer through. they can’t even tear it off of you after, because dan’s parents have a chance of overhearing. but, what forces the australian to kindly kick his parents out of the house, is how you fail to stop yourself from drooling over them playing around in the pool—struggling to continue speaking with his mom as you sit on the pool’s ledge. 
before dinner, dan showers by himself first, changing into fresh clothes. he then ushers you and max into the shower, ‘to rinse off the chlorine and sweat from the day,’ he says. but, he could care less about that. as soon as he hears the shower start, he practically sprints to the kitchen to see his mom and dad put the finishing touches on the burgers they fixed up.
daniel skids to a stop in the doorway, leaning against it in faux-relaxedness, and says, “howdy.” it’s silent for a minute; his dad stares at him blankly, and his mom eventually breaks and speaks plainly, “what is it, danny?”
daniel gasps in mock-disbelief, “why d’ya always think i want something from you? i can’t just be greeting my wonderful, loving, and understanding parents?”
grace stares at him, not fooled, “are you just saying ‘hi’?”
daniel stutters aimlessly looking to his dad for help, but joe just shrugs at him in a ‘you did this to yourself, son’ manner. 
“maybe! well, no, actually…” daniel sulks, slinking into the kitchen, and resting against the counter next to his mom.
his mom hums knowingly, and gestures at him to start speaking.
“uh, so, you know i love having y’all around, right, and uh, it’s nice y’know—i mean, i don’t see ya’ as often as i want to, but uh—don’t get me wrong, you’re my parents, but uhm—“
joe sighs, “daniel, cut to the chase, please.”
daniel groans, before he leans his head back to look at the ceiling, “fine. look—we just expected to at least have one week to ourselves when we got here. not that y’all being here to surprise us is bad! you know that. but, uhm…we just made plans, i guess. a-and we kind of can’t do it, because, well…”
grace washes her hands as daniel continues to ramble through an unnecessary apologetic explanation. she turns the water off, drying her hands on a towel, and turns to her husband, pointing at daniel while rolling her eyes teasingly, before she cuts her son off, “daniel, we can leave tonight.”
daniel stops, head dropping to look at his mom in shock, “what?”
“we can leave tonight, if that’s what you’re trying to ask. your father and i don’t mind,” grace smiles gently, “we weren’t supposed to stay for this long anyways, we were just trying to get the ranch prepared for y’all, and you know how enamored we are with your girl and boy; we overstayed our welcome. we can go and come back a week before christmas with the rest of the family, danny.”
daniel perks up, “you guys don’t have to leave for that long, i don’t wanna kick you out—“
“daniel, please,” joe scoffs, walking over to clap daniel on the back, “you’re not kicking us out. we’ll be back on the seventeenth, alright. hopefully, that gives y’all enough time to work out your frustrations. we really don’t want to overhear or see anything—“
daniel pales, “okAY, thank you, yes—please don’t comeback until as late as y’all want, jesus christ. wait—did you hear the other night?! ohmygod…they’re going to kill me.”
joe and grace laugh, “no, we didn’t hear anything, danny. we just figured from how they were following you around in the morning—max couldn’t even look us in the eye, son.”
daniel groans, embarrassed, “don’t tell them anything about this okay? they’ll break up with me if they know i asked you to leave so i could have sex with them.”
his parents' laughter only gets louder, but they agree eventually after they indulge in teasing their son a little more.
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dinner is pleasant; you and max remain unaware of the ricciardo’s intervention, enjoying the well-cooked meal and lighthearted conversation. when everyone’s stomach is full and the conversation quiets, grace and joe break the news that they unfortunately have to return to perth. you and max sadden, trying to convince daniel’s parents to stay a little longer—max’s eyes fail to hide his eagerness at their announcement, even though his voice manages to be completely sincere. daniel watches as his parents formulate a fake excuse about their departute before he gently reminds you two, “they’ll be back for christmas, babes. you’ll see them again.”
the two of you calm at daniel’s statement, and walk his parents out to the car, exchanging hugs and kisses before they drive off back to the city. daniel leads you two back into the house after you’ve watched his parents disappear down the road, and the shift in energy as soon as the door locks is missed by you.
you mindlessly amble back to the dining table, stacking the emptied plates and glasses and wandering into the kitchen to clean them. as soon as you turn the sink faucet on, a strong body pushes against your back, and presses you against the edge of the counter as their hand reaches around you to shut the water off. you turn around to tell-off whichever boyfriend did that, but before you can get any words out, you’re pulled into a filthy kiss.
your shocked gasp is muffled by max’s lips, and you half-heartedly attempt to pull away, but the dutchman chases your lips, not allowing you to stop. you give in with a sigh, allowing max to continue kissing you. he buries one hand in your hair, tilting your head to the side for a better angle, and licks at the seam of your lips. you squirm against him, not quite giving into the coaxing of his tongue, and max hums softly before he tugs at your bottom lip. you turn your head to the side, panting softly to suck in a few desperate breaths before max pulls you back and invades the opening of your lips. you squeal at the feeling of his tongue laving against yours, the lewd wet sounds of your mouths have your thighs pressing together. max brings his other arm to grasp around your waist, and pulls you against him, groaning into your mouth at the smallest amount of friction that movement provided. you feel lightheaded, your knees weakening, but max firmly holds you up, not letting you slip from his grasp. your hands come up to wrap around him, one feeling up his chest before resting around his neck, and the other hand digging into the meat of his back in search of stability. he hums at the ache of your nails and drops both of his hands to cup the back of your thighs right under your ass. he lifts you onto the counter, spreading your legs and shoving his body between them, while still managing to not break the kiss. at the show of strength you arch your back, whining highly, pushing your chest against his—he’s so strong. he eagerly starts tugging the sundress up your legs, making to expose your panties before he’s interrupted by a sudden heavy hand on the back of his neck.
max jerks away from you (you can finally catch your breath), his chest heaving, and his own whine fills the air at the weight of daniel’s hand.
“now, darlin’,” daniel addresses max with a smirk, “this wasn’t part of our plan, was it? you forget the script, maxy?”
max blushes a pretty pink, and murmurs, “no, daniel—sorry, danny.” dan hums at the apology, pressing a kiss to max’s warm cheek.
“w-what plan?” you timidly ask, still sitting on the counter, legs spread obscenely, dress skewed messily, and lips swelling from max’s ambition.
daniel chuckles, eyes shining at you hungrily, “mmm. how ‘bout we make our way to the bedroom and ‘ll show ya, sweetheart?”
you’re spread eagle in the middle of the bed, completely naked, with daniel fully dressed in between your legs sucking marks and pressing kisses on your thighs, max stripped down to his boxer-briefs on his side next to you, doing the same to your neck and chest. you’re squirming viciously just from the feeling of his beard scraping against your inner thighs, squeals ripping from your throat when he leaves a hickey or bites at the meat of your thigh. the australian’s pupils are blown wide, as he watches you try and muffle your cries behind your hand—if this is how you’re responding to the two of them thoroughly refreshing their claim on you, he’s thrilled to see how you’ll lose your mind as the night goes on. pulling his head away, daniel presses his thumb into one of the bruises he left and your back arches deeply–you choke on your squeal, thighs slamming shut around his hand.
“none of that now, sweetheart,” dan instructs firmly, “‘s just me, you, and max, honey. no need to quiet those sweet sounds of yours, alright?”
you nod wildly, stumbling over your agreement, “y-yeah, danny. ‘ll be- i’ll be loud for you guys.”
max moans at your words from where his lips were tugging at your nipple, pulling away to raise himself back to your lips, thirstily tasting your desperation from its source. dan allows max to bruise up your mouth, and leave his own beard burn around your lips, as he undresses himself down to his briefs. 
“max…max, maxy, babe,” daniel softly calls a few times, failing to get the impatient man’s attention, “max, look at me.” the switch from dan’s soft tone to a deeper, base filled sound has max snapping away to look at daniel, panting roughly.
“be good f’me and give yourself a hand, darlin’,” dan commands, and max sighs lovingly at the endearment, “you can manage that right, maxy? while i get our sweet girl ready to take you, hm?”
max whimpers, “yes, danny,” and shifts to sit upright, pulling his underwear off and wrapping his large hand around himself. dan purrs, “good boy. her sweet cunt’s already drippin’ for us, maxy. won't take me long to stretch ‘er open for you.” you keen, humiliated at the way dan speaks about you like you’re not in the room with them. daniel tugs your legs open again, hiding his laughter in the plush meat of your thigh, but you can feel the smirk against your skin. 
embarrassed, you whine hushedly, hands fisting into the sheets by your side, “mean.”
daniel hums uncaringly at your remark, “mean? don’t worry, honey–when i finish with you, you’ll think ‘m mean for a very different reason.” he doesn’t give you a chance to ponder his words, and a firm drag of his tongue across your cunt destroys any chance for your thought processes. this time around, your moans are clear, echoing around the room. the press of daniel’s tongue is unforgiving and working intently at your clit. your thighs clamp around his head, not allowing the australian to escape even though he can feel your hips bucking away, trying to escape the consistent stimulation on one of your most sensitive spots. when one of your hands flies down to tug at his curls, he relents his assault and switches to prodding his tongue against your opening. he moans depravedly against your entrance, the noise vibrating through you, causing your shriek to pierce the air. he eats you out like a man starved; savagely shoving his tongue deeper inside you, curling against your walls, nose bumping against your clit, mouth moving like he’s truly trying to eat you alive. he ignores the ache of his jaw, the tightness of his briefs, how his beard scratches your skin; and he smoothly slips a finger into you, beginning thoroughly stretch you out.
it’s absolutely obscene-sounding. daniel works his way up to three fingers, and any previous qualms he had about you being too quiet are resolved. your whines are constant at the insistent invasion of daniel’s curling digits, and based on the way your legs are trembling, he can tell you're nearing the precipice. what’s even more erotic, is the way your cries harmonize with max’s own grunts of pleasure; the dutchman’s hips buck into the frantic pace of his hands and danny wouldn’t be surprised if max comes before he even gets inside you. daniel sits back on his heels, his fingers still digging deeper inside you, forcefully pressing against your g-spot. with his left hand, daniel knocks max’s hand away, ignoring the responding yowl of displeasure, and fists max’s cock on his own, “doin’ a little too much, maxy. our desperate girl deserves to come first, anyways—lemme set the pace for you, darlin’.” max suffers under danny’s ministrations; the extreme shift down in tempo, the constant attention on the head of his cock, a finger pressing at his slit or the vein along his underside alternatingly. you, on the other hand, are being pushed closer and closer to your orgasm. daniel’s thumb joins, rubbing quick circles of your clit–and you scream out, pleasure overriding you. when your moans start to blend into breathy little ah-ah-ah’s, he slips his fingers free from the tight clasp of your cunt, and releases his hold on max’s cock.
you sob achingly, begging daniel to make you cum, dismayed cries of, “no! danny, why’d you stop, please, make me cum,” falling from your lips as max mewls next to you, his own hands trying to force danny’s back around him. daniel shushes you, and motions for max to come closer. max flies forward happily, his whines cutting off at daniel’s attention. he man-handles max into hovering over you in missionary, his cock resting against your fluttering cunt, waiting for permission. your cries quiet, and your heart races with anticipation for max to bury himself in you. danny’s left hand grips at max’s corresponding hip, and his right hand slips in the narrow space between you two, and he presses the flushed arousal in you. and the australian cannot stop running his mouth.
“that’s ‘t, baby–nice n’ easy for ya’–mmm–he’s splitting you open isn’t he–yeah, soak ‘im, babe, get him nice and wet–no, sweetheart, don’t run from it–yeahhh just like that, you take ‘t so well–”
your own orgasm suprises you, otherwise you would’ve at least made an attempt to tell the two men. max hasn’t even gotten halfway inside you and you’re cumming; back-arching, toes-curling, hands rushing forward to scratch down max’s back, eyes screwed shut, and walls clamping tightly around him. max is whining above you, flinching away from the hot grasp of your inner walls, but daniel won’t let him pull out.
“danny, danny! please–oh–i-i-i’m gonna–not gonna last–‘m gonna cum, if i stay inside her,” max admits, sobbing embarrasingly.
daniel laughs softly from behind max, and shifts so his front is pressed to the dutchman’s back. max shivers at the sound, the hair on the back of his neck rising. “aww, you can’t handle it, darling? don’t worry, i’ve changed my plans for you, anyways,” daniel smugly whispers into max’s ear. dan brings both of his hands to the younger’s waist, and forces him deeper inside of you, ignoring the way max cries sensitively and keeps pushing him forward until he bottoms out. you and max let out twin squeals from the white-hot flash of pleasure; you struggle to adjust to his size as quickly as daniel forced him in–you pulsate around him, it’s like you’re still trying to drag him further in and push him out at the same time. daniel presses a kiss to max’s shoulder blade and praises him, “see, maxy? i knew you could do it—such a good boy f’me.”
max’s eyes roll back, and he can’t fight it–he cums, loudly. his limbs weaken and his body collapses over yours, head falling into your neck, and his lewd moans vibrate through your raw skin. the younger’s body covers you completely, and your knees come up to cradle max’s hips, encouraging him to thrust through the aftershocks. daniel leans back, continuing to bathe the two of you with praise as he lets you guys shudder through the come down. a couple minutes pass before your legs relax and max’s moans die down to breathy hums, as both of your chests heave as you try to regulate your breathing. 
“feelin’ good, my loves?” daniel questions tenderly.
you’re the first to respond, a sated smile sent the australians way, “so good, danny.” max sighs out a breathy “yeah,” muffled into your chest. daniel brightens, “alrighty–maxy, fuck her properly now, and make her cum again.” the dutchman grunts in disbelief, “what? no, i-i can’t, i just came–”
dan cuts max off, “you can’t or, you won’t?” max’s breath stutters at the sudden dominance in daniel’s tone, sitting up to turn his head to look at the older man incredulously. the smile on dan’s face is gone, his expression suddenly firm and unyielding–max can only drop his gaze away from daniel’s eyes, avoiding the piercing gaze.
“max, look at me,” the australian states unflinchingly, and the younger man’s eyes fly to meet his at the command.
“what’s your color, darlin’?”
with his tongue flicking out to wet his lips nervously, max mutely whispers, “green.” daniel’s piercing gaze drops to you and he repeats the question, “sweetheart, what’s your color?”
you squirm under his intense attention—max’s hips stuttering at the stimulation, and your bruised brown thighs squeeze at his waist until he stops—but the slight flare of pleasure that races up your spine decides your answer, “green, danny.”
a smirk spreads across daniel’s lips, “see, you can, maxy,” the younger blushes deeply at his teasing croon, “now, be a sweet prince for me, and fuck our sweetheart, hm?” and with a pinch to max’s hip, he sinks in you deeply with an oversensitive sigh, before he pulls out and sets a slow rhythm to allow you both a little more time to recover. the drag of his cock is coaxing soft shuddery breaths out of your lips, and sharp over-sensitive whines from max. his hands are trembling from where they’re grip flexes on your waist, veins popping with the strength of his grasp, sure to leave a mark on your darker skin. dan’s hands halt the gentle roll of his hips, before the man leads him at a quicker pace. max throws his head back onto daniel’s shoulder, overwhelmed at the feeling of your tight, soaking wet cunt, and cries out “too much—ngh—i-it’s too much!” but aside from all of his whines, he’s getting hard again. unlike max, the sensitivity from your orgasm had faded quickly—if anything, it’s doubling the amount of pleasure you’re feeling. desperate for more, you plant your feet on the bed and start rolling your hips to meet max halfway; moaning yearningly at the change in position.
the younger man frantically tries to force your hips back down, the friction added from you meeting his thrusts is too great. “heyheyhey—none of that, prince,” daniel quickly tugs max’s hands away from your waist, one hand firmly holding them against the younger’s chest, “remember, we made a promise to give her so many orgasms to make up for how mean we’ve been to her. you don’t want to break that promise; right, darling?” max tries to hide his face in dan’s shoulder, but it’s too late—he starts sobbing. daniel watches how the tears rain down max’s cheeks, and how his face crumples so prettily—is it weird that making his usually unbothered boyfriend cry, turns him on?
max sniffles, “n-no, danny. -ll do it, i-i wanna make her cum.” not wanting to disappoint you any further, he starts quickening his strokes on his own, eventually outpacing the rhythm daniel set for him. it dawns on max quickly; he’s not going to last, again. he makes the mistake of looking at the blissed out expression on your face, the knot in his tummy tightening as he watches how your mouth falls open in a moan, wet and inviting. he drops his eyes away, but they fall on where the two of you are connected; the sight causes him to choke on his breath. his own thrusts have forced his cum out of you, frothing at your entrance, smeared all over your labia and staining your inner thighs. if he could eat you out and fuck you at the same time—he’d be doing it. max urgently asks daniel, “d-danny, ‘m gonna cum—please, can i cum?” ignoring max, dan’s hand lets go of max’s, and falls to let his middle and ring finger rub vigorously at your clit. your body jackknifes, a scream leaving your lips at the sudden addition, you choke out a warning, “g’na cum! pleasepleaseplease—” and when daniel’s thumb sneaks down to press gently at where you're wrapped snugly around max, almost like he’s trying to slip in alongside his cock—white flashes behind your eyes and you’re cumming hard. 
daniel hums, satisfied, “now, you can cum, maxy.” the younger had already started coming the second he started speaking. it’s erotic—how the two of yours’ orgasm feeds off of each other. every clench of your cunt has you squeezing tightly around max, causing him to thrust in you deeper, which in turn has you pulsating around him tightly, and the cycle continues. max rides out the two of your orgasms viciously this time around, his hips slamming into you, forcing himself as deep as possible wanting to empty every last dreg of his cum within you. you can only whimper brokenly, not making an effort to calm his grinds, wanting to savor anything you can get before he pulls out of you. with max’s last pump of his hips in you, daniel slowly guides him out of you. the two of you hiss, extremely over sensitive from the two times you’ve cum, so daniel tries to make the affair as smooth as he possibly can. with a squelching pop, max is freed from the tight grasp of your cunt, and dan leads him to lie down next to you on the bed.
you’re still floating, not a single thought in your head, a deep sense of satisfaction coating your mind, but you can vaguely hear daniel checking on max, making sure he didn’t push him too far. you hum quietly under your breath, almost like a purr, eyes shut blissfully as you allow yourself to relax in your afterglow. you faintly register daniel slipping in between your legs, his broad shoulders pressed against the underside of your thighs. you feel his left hand gently press at the raw skin of your thigh, and you fuzzily manage to move it over for him, thinking that he’s trying to clean you up. 
daniel can only stare. the pink skin of your hole has turned to a deeper red, with how max bullied your cunt. his mouth falls open, entranced, at the sight of your bruised pussy winking at him, struggling to close, and he moans softly as the pulsing of your cunt starts pushing max’s cum out of you. the creamy, frothy, white fluid slowly sliding out of you and down your ass. his tongue wets his lips—he wants a taste. dan drops the towel he was holding in his right hand, and brings the now empty hand up to spread your lips with a ‘v’ of his fingers. his eyes flick up to your face, and once he sees that you're still floating, he takes a gentle pass over your entrance with two fingers, collecting yours and max’s combined release. he sucks the mess clean, and a groan rumbles through his chest. fuck—he needs more. daniel quickly finds himself breathing softly over your cunt for the second time tonight, and he can feel how your thighs already start shaking at the exhales of his breath against you. he laps his tongue once in a broad stripe over you, and moans depravedly—and then, he pretty much forced to eat you out; why let this go to waste. 
the minute his tongue slips inside you, your thighs slam shut around his head, trying to halt his overeager movements. daniel doesn’t care, he’d happily suffocate in your cunt if it meant he got to eat max’s cum out of you for the last time. when he slips two of his fingers in to coax more of the cum max fucked deep in you out, your hand flies down and tugs at his curls. daniel pulls his mouth away, growling sharply at the pain from the grip of your hand, but he steadfastly dives back in—he’s going to swallow every last drop you’ll give him. “hngh—too much, –anny, can’t take it—my tummy feels weird—it hurts!” daniel’s hips starting grinding against the bed, and he’s made aware of how painfully hard he’s gotten throughout the night; he hasn’t cum once. daniel moans against your cunt, panting against you, “ya got one more f’me right, sweetheart? yeah, ya do—just let me taste you, yeah?” daniel tunes out your cries again, and brushes his nose against your clit as he laves his tongue over you picking up every drop of cum the two of you have spilled on your swollen cunt. his fingers start to curl upwards as he pulls them out, dragging wetness out from the depths of your walls, and you squeal, any pleads that you planned to say have been suddenly erased from your throat at the sudden pain-pleasure that bursts behind your eyes. your core tightens, and you seize against the bed cumming for the third time this night at daniel’s insistence. this is the most intense orgasm all night, and it feels never ending; all of your senses feel like they’re burning hot, nerves tingling from your scalp to your curled toes. what you’ve failed to recognize is that you're gushing all over daniel’s face. he practically gets waterboarded from where he was pressed against your cunt, but once he realizes that he’s made you squirt, he happily starts drinking down each spray of your fluid, uncaring of how his beard is drenched with your release, and how it puddles underneath your ass. 
he swallows you down to the very last drop, plump lips massaging your labia sweetly. he backs off your pussy, switching to your thighs to collect any wetness he missed out on. when your hand tugs at his curls again, pulling him away when the beard burn gets too much, daniel rises to his knees over you. he tugs his cock out of his briefs, the tip flushed the deepest red he’s ever seen it, and it throbs hotly in his grasp. he uses the hand soaked with your squirt to roughly rub himself off, tattooed thigh spasming, and it takes less than ten pumps of his hand before he’s cumming. with every spray of his hot cum that lands against your swollen cunt, your hips jerk—even that feels too much.
when daniel finishes, he moans at the picture he painted on you—would you let him take a picture if he asked? but his fantasy is disrupted when you squirm up the bed, your hand falling to cup protectively over your cunt, thighs tightening around your hand, and you murmur repeatedly, “no more, no more.” max coos quietly from where he’s laying, still just as fucked out as you, but he tries to soothe your cries. he sweetly pulls you into his chest when tears slip out of your eyes, petting at you clumsily, not quite yet having regained complete control of his limbs. “did so good, schatje. daniel did just like he promised—i-if, if you let him clean you up, we can cuddle and go straight to bed, ok? be good, j-just a little longer.”
you sob messily into max’s embrace, but after a few minutes with max and daniel both reassuring you that they’ve finished pulling orgasms out of you, and comfortingly massaging the already setting soreness of your muscles—your cries die down to sniffles, and you slowly spread your legs open for danny. daniel stares at the mess he created this time around, but dismisses the urge to lick it off you; his only goal right now is to properly clean you up, and make sure you go to sleep feeling satisfied and worn-out. as gently as possible, he takes turns wiping both your thighs and cunt, and max’s thighs and cock, switching when either of you says it’s too much. it takes longer than it usually does, but it doesn’t upset daniel as long as it means the two of you are comfortable. 
“okay, okay,” daniel soothes sweetly, “i’m done. you both did so good for me tonight.”
max blushes at the praise, and with a voice as airy as silk, you whisper, “you ‘ere good too, danny—made me feel r’lly good, thank you.” daniel smiles, his heart warming at your sweet words, “thank you, honey. you’re always so sweet to me.”
“now, let’s move this party to the bathroom so both of you can pee, and take a bath before we sleep, i’ll get some snacks for you to eat too,” daniel orders softly, “i took a lot from the two of you tonight—so let me make sure i put you back together, okay?
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verstappen-cult · 3 months
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#. . . Five times Max refuses to acknowledge he’s sick + one time he does.
request made by @lucien-calore. . . “hi, you asked for a max request and i shall deliver! can i please have a sickfic where max refuses to acknowledge he's sick (a flu or something, nothing too serious) but when he does, he acts like a drama queen?”
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#1
You’re making dinner when you hear Max coughing from his streaming room, then the laughs of his friends making fun of him. 
You don’t think too much about it. That is until he can’t stop coughing while you’re eating, and when you’re getting ready for bed, and at all during the night. 
It’s only in the morning, as you’re making breakfast and he’s feeding the cats, when you decide to say something. 
“Baby?” You say, trying to look nonchalant while making the eggs. 
“Yes?” He puts the cat food away and makes his way to you. Max hugs your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “What happens?”
“I’m gonna go to the pharmacy after pilates, do you need anything?” 
Max hums, like actually thinking about it before saying, “No, love. Got everything I need.”
“You sure? Nothing for that cough you have?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He kisses your cheek and pulls away, grabbing an apple. “I’m gonna be streaming, make sure to say goodbye before you leave, okay?”
#2
“Are you okay?” It’s the fourth time in less than an hour that Max enters the kitchen to fill his bottle of water.
“Yeah, it’s just that all the singing and screaming at the concert last night left me with a sore throat.”
You try not to laugh but it’s impossible. It’s been three days since he started with that horrible cough, which hasn’t stopped, but he still doesn’t understand that he’s probably sick. 
“Max, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that.” You close the book and get up from the couch, he looks confused as you get closer and place your hand on his forehead. “Jesus, Max, you’re burning up!” 
“I’m hot, don’t you think?” 
“Max, I’m serious, you got a fever.” 
“It’s probably nothing,” He reassures you by placing a kiss on your cheek before turning around. “I fell asleep on the terrace. I’m gonna take a shower, okay?” 
“Max, I swear to God—”
“You look hot when you’re angry.” That’s the last thing he says, walking away. 
“Max!” 
#3
It's impossible. You’ve tried everything to make Max understand that he’s sick and needs to rest, but he won’t admit it.
This morning you practically begged him to stay in bed to rest and recover, but he did not listen to you, saying that it was nothing — as he’s been saying all week — and actually dragged you to the Padel court because ‘I’m gonna win this time’. 
Dani’s visiting, so, everyone got together to spend Sunday morning at their favorite place, promising to go to brunch after. But it’s been three hours and they have just finished the second game. Who’s fault is that? Max’s. 
It’s no secret that Max is not very good at Padel, but now that he’s sick it’s been torture. Every couple of minutes they have to stop the game for him to cough, so it’s been impossible to actually play and he doesn’t want to give up. 
And it’s worse because Charles is his partner. Only a look at the Monégasque and you know he wants to murder him. 
“Max,” You call his name, leaving your book aside and walking closer to the wall that’s separating both of you. “you’re sick, why don’t we go home?”
“But, baby, I really think I can win this one.”
“No you won’t!” Lando shouts from across the court as he’s stretching. 
“Oh shut u—”
“Max, I’m serious.” You don’t know what else to do at this point. He’s always been so stubborn, but this has reached new levels. 
“I’m gonna win this for you, baby.” He winks and turns around to join the rest of the group. 
#4
“Max? Why are you still in bed?” You enter the room, gaze immediately going to the watch on the nightstand. It’s two in the afternoon. He never stays in bed past ten, not even during winter or summer break. 
“Jus’ tired.” He mumbles, face hidden in the pillows. 
“I’m gonna make you a cup of tea, okay?” You sit next to him, stroking his hair. 
“Don’t want a cup of tea,” He opens his eyes, looking up at you and pouting. It makes you giggle. “I want you.”
“I won’t kiss you until you admit you’re sick.”
“That’s so unfair!” He pouts again, this time grabbing your arm and trying to make you lie next to him. “I’m not sick. I’m like super healthy.” You snort, shaking your head and standing up. 
“Then, no kisses for you.”
Max groans, hiding his face under the blankets. “I can survive without your kisses, you know.” 
That makes you laugh because you know Max, and you know how much he likes to kiss you at every opportunity. The chances of Max keeping that promise… Impossible.
“Whatever gets you through the night, Maxie.”
#5
“Hey, baby.” Max places a kiss on your cheek as you leave the grocery bags on the kitchen table. “You got everything for tonight?”
“Yes. I already talked with your mom and they’ll be here at around nine.” Max helps you put the groceries away, frowning when he sees some medicine and a special broth he knows perfectly well among the things you will need for dinner tonight.
“What's this?”
You try to hide a smile, pretending to be busy with anything just to keep you from looking at him. “Your mom said you used to love it as a kid.”
“Yeah,” He says, still confused. “when I was sick.”
“You are sick, Max. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this.”
“I am not!” He huffs, rolling his eyes. You can see from the irritated expression on his face that he's tired of you repeating the same thing over and over again. “I’m gonna go play for a little bit.”
You grab his hand before he can walk away, pulling him closer to you. “Hey,” Max raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to talk. But you cup his cheeks instead, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m worried, I don’t want you to get worse.”
“Yeah, whatever.” 
You can only watch as he leaves the room, Jimmy following closely behind. 
“Well, I tried.” You mumble, looking at Sassy perched on the counter. She meows and you’re glad at least someone understands you.
+1
“Schatje?” You hear Max’s hoarse voice say. 
“Mmh?” It’s your answer, busy peeling some vegetables. “What happens?”
He hesitates for a second, you see from the corner of your eyes how he avoids looking at you, which makes you stop and turn your attention to your boyfriend. 
“I’m sick.” He whispers, surprising you. But he deserves a little teasing. 
“What? I didn’t hear you.” You play dumb, and Max sees right through you. 
“You were right, okay? I was being an idiot.”
“Yes, you were.” He pouts, making you feel warm all over. You walk to him, placing your hand on his forehead. “You have a fever. Why don’t you go lie down on the couch, uh? I’ll heat up the broth.” 
“I’m sorry for being an idiot.” He breathes into the air, blushing all the way from his cheeks to his neck. You know that admitting when he’s wrong is not something easy for him.
“I know, baby. But,” You reach up and boop Max on the nose with your index finger. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”
“But I wanted to help you, everyone’s about to arrive.” 
“Worry about what your mom will say once I tell her how stubborn you have been.” He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. “If you’re a good boy and take the medicine, I’ll think about giving you a… reward.”
If Max takes the medicine and finishes all the broth is only because he wants to get better. It has nothing to do with the reward you’re going to give him tonight.
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on-leatheredwings · 3 months
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House Arrest
Yandere! Batfam / Bruce Wayne x (Fem!) Reader
For a request, Munchausen's syndrome by proxy with Bruce? Like, he keeps reader sick so she can't leave him or interact with someone outside the family. And maybe the rest of the batfam is in on it?
[a/n: Didn’t know if you wanted this platonic or not so I didn’t specify! In my head its romantic with bruce though lmao]
> word count: 1581
> Tw: gaslighting, munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, yandere-typical behaviors!
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You sit in anticipation, foot tapping against the stone floor. There’s an entire miniature hospital set up for you down here in the Batcave. Respirators, diagnostics machines, and other expensive medical equipment that would be better served in Gotham General. 
Helping people recover. 
So patients could some day leave. 
You used to love being in the Batcave. It was the family’s little secret. When you officially joined the family, the Batcave was now your secret as well. But ever since falling ill months ago, bedridden with a sickness whose cause continues to elude everyone… being here is depressing. You now notice it’s damp down here. Dark. Lifeless.
Bruce sits at the Batcomputer, the screen’s light painting over his face in a green wash. You watch his eyes scan line after line of your results. Reminds you of a typewriter. Methodical. Orderly. Nearly inhuman. When he sighs, your heart stops. 
Fuck.
He turns to you, face grave. “You’re still ill.” 
Your eyes start stinging with an onset of tears that you furiously try to blink back. 
“... H-How ill? How bad? Am I any better?” you ask, as if bartering with him will make the situation any different. As if bartering with God ever made any difference for mere mortals such as yourself.
Bruce’s face is still. 
“You haven’t improved.” 
Your hopes crash down around you like glass. You aren’t better at all? Even though you haven’t had a fever in weeks? Even though you’ve been working out with enough energy to keep up with Damian? He was exerting perhaps only 10% of his effort, but still. Your lymph nodes aren’t even swollen anymore. Tim had told you as much, accidentally contradicting Bruce’s insistence that they had been earlier that morning. 
“But I feel better,” you croak. You hear footsteps behind you approach and you swallow drily, nearly hissing at the offender. It’s Dick, and damn him. You don’t want to be placated right now.
“Are you experiencing any headaches? Shortness of breath?” Bruce asks, eyes still trained on you. You try to recall. 
“... I may have had a migraine this morning…” At Bruce’s weary shake of the head, you blurt, “But it’s passed. I’m perfectly fine. And no shortness of breath.”
“... I’m sorry. But if you’ve been having symptoms like that, along with your being immunocompromised…” Bruce doesn’t even have to finish the sentence. You won’t be leaving the Wayne Manor grounds for a long time. 
Fuck. 
Fuck. 
You feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up and see Dick, whose face is somber but offers an encouraging smile. 
“Well, I’m back in town for the time being. We can hang out all the time.” His expression brightens as an idea pops into his head. “And I can call Tim, Jason, Duke–! Maybe even Cass and Steph… We can have a board game night tonight!” He sounds as chipper as you are miserable.
Damian approaches from behind, leaving the shadows. His arms are folded. “If that’s the case, I’ll humor Grayson and let him capture some of my fleet for once.” A popular choice was Risk, perfect for the family who’s entire lives revolved around combat and strategy. But you didn’t want to play Risk again. You didn’t want to have a board game night, no matter how many of the family came. You wanted to see people. 
Other people. Everyone here is your family. 
You want fucking friends again. You wanted a job again – a sentiment you would’ve laughed at even just five months ago. You wanted any semblance of a life again.
Bruce’s eyes haven’t left your trembling form once, two chips of slate-gray peering over steepled hands.
“Thank you, Dick. Damian. But I think she could use some time alone.”
Dick’s hand releases your shoulder, retracting as if burned. None of them are the boss here. It’s Bruce who is my warden, your mind whispers darkly. 
“Right! Don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.” Dick sees himself out, taking Damian with him. “See you tonight.” And that feels like a sentencing to your fate.
Now the two of you alone, Bruce stands, offering his arm wordlessly. You know what this means. You take it, linking yours with his without thought or protest. Bruce liked to ensure you were always within his reach, as if you were prone to fainting spells. This was less humiliating for you than him carrying you through the estate, you suppose. 
“Why, yes, let’s take a turn around the grounds!” you used to exclaim, making your voice posh and British, mimicking the regency romance movies you had been watching all the time. 
Now, months later, you just sullenly allow him to lead you. Your surroundings pass by and you vaguely recognize that you are exiting the Batcave, walking through the manor, and out into the never-ending expanse of a well-kept lawn. 
It’s a sunny, idyllic spring day after months of overcast winter. 
And thank god you could still traipse outside when you wanted, even if fenced in. Bruce told you when you had first fallen ill that he had installed some high-tech, anti-air pollution gadget. Wayne Manor was effectively your own personal bubble. Fresh air was the only thing keeping you sane, lately. 
You two pass by the garden, a labor of love Alfred started. You and Damian tend to it now… and mainly the latter, these days. You haven’t had any energy for gardening as of late. Fatigue is a symptom, you hear Bruce’s voice whisper in the back of your mind. But you don’t feel fatigue… rather, just depressed. But of course, isn’t fatigue a symptom of being depressed…? A familiar brain fog crawls into your mind. Your head was starting to hurt.
You look across the lawn, onto the horizon. Gotham’s dark skyline sits there, enticing. When night falls, it’ll glimmer and twinkle with light. There is a whole world out there. And, God, you love the Waynes, but they aren’t the world. You need to distract yourself. Bruce, ever the lover of pleasant silences, is going to have to distract you from thoughts that make you want to leap off the second story balcony of your bedroom.
Should you ask, “How’s work?” No. You find you don’t care. 
“How’s Jason?” you say instead, feeling Bruce stiffen at the mention of his most tenuous relation.
He wasn’t around as much, but when he was, he was always relaxing with you in your room. You have a whole shelf for the knick knacks he brings. “Don’t worry. They’re clean,” he’d snort at his former mentor, because Bruce required everything to be thrice sanitized before coming into your possession.
“... Better.”
You’re glad. That’s one good thing, you guess. 
“Bruce,” you croak. 
He looks at you, face alight in expectation. 
“Maybe I should just go,” you say, small and weak. Your eyes don’t leave the sight of Gotham skyscrapers, stretching to the sky. Bruce stills, stopping you both in your tracks.
“What do you mean, ‘go’?” he says carefully.
You remove yourself from his arm and gesture to the city. “Just go. Leave. I mean, I can’t stay here forever.” Bruce looks genuinely confused, as much as he can. 
“Of course you can.”
“No, I can’t!” you screech. Frustrated, you tear at your hair. “I can just be an outpatient somewhere– I can go for hospital treatments every week– or everyday– whatever!
Bruce places his hands on your shoulders.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Rage flares in you and you gnash your teeth at him. By now, that all-too-familiar brain fog has flooded your brain. But you try to fight it. You have to fight it. Like trying to crawl out of rapidly-sinking quicksand, you fight it.
“I-I know what I’m saying. I’m saying–”
“You’re saying to just let you die,” Bruce sharply returns. “To give up, let you die, and leave us to grieve.” 
“No–”
“Stephanie.” 
You meet his eyes again at the name, which are resolute and as blue as ever. 
“Cassandra. Duke.” Your stomach churns, imagining their smiling faces, turned into ash as your hypothetical passing. “Barbara.” 
“Bruce,” you croak, pleading inwardly for him to stop. 
“Damian.” 
“Tim.”
“Jason.” 
“Dick. Alfred.” You duck your head and your eyes meet the ground. The listing of all your loved ones pinches your heart, and you feel nauseous. You weren’t trying to leave them. You didn’t want to leave them at all. 
“... Me.” 
Your eyes sting with tears again. Why did he have to make it sound like that? Like you were seeking some selfish want, rather than trying to improve your quality of life. You feel your ambition and desire wane under the weight of guilt. You feel all sense of struggle start to disintegrate, lost to the fog in your head. Lost. You’ve lost.
Bruce’s eyes scrutinize you.
“As I suspected. You’re acting delirious. Manic. Delusional.”
Any semblance of protest dies in your throat. 
“What?” you say. But Bruce is already leading you away towards the looming doors of Wayne Manor, away from the green of the grounds. Away from the light of the sun, and away from the skyline. He comforts you with familiar lines on the way to your bedroom. 
You need rest. Alfred will brew his tea for you. I’ll call the kids to come tonight. We can play Risk. He pats your shoulder, stroking soft, deceptively warm circles with his thumb.
“You just need some rest.” 
And not for the first time, you believe he may be right.
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strangererotica · 13 days
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EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI
Steve Harrington x Reader • Includes breeding kink, semi-public sex • this one is short & sweet, but spicy too 😉 enjoy!
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Steve’s hand reaches for you under the table, his fingers slipping beneath your skirt. You glance at him sitting beside you, as he continues to smile and chat with your guests while his index finger strokes your thigh.
You know what Steve’s up to, the message he’s silently conveying. A glance at his wristwatch confirms your suspicions; 2 PM. Steve’s right on schedule. It’s time for him to breed you.
Because you planned to have friends over today, you assumed Steve would put aside the ‘routine,’ you’d both become accustomed to. Every day at 2PM, and every evening before bed (usually around 10 or 11 PM) Steve makes love to you. His goal, and yours, is to have you pregnant as soon as possible.
When you’d first told him your desire for children a few months ago, Steve had been absolutely insatiable. He’d ask you for sex several times a day, occasionally fucking you up to five separate instances in one twenty-four hour period. That first week was absolutely exhausting; you loved Steve’s enthusiasm, how totally onboard he was with the idea of having a child. But the amount of sex Steve requested was unrealistic in terms of the toll it took on your body.
By the end of that first week, you’d been fucked so often you could hardly walk. Steve was a gentle, considerate lover; but with a cock as big as his, and the way he threw everything he had into the task of fucking a baby into you, the impact on your body was too much. You both settled on a routine that cut the amount of sex in half, so your body could recover in between.
With guests over today, you assumed Steve would forgo the usual routine. But here he is, slipping his hand between your thighs…all while conversing with your guests as if nothing is happening beneath the table…
Steve chuckles at a funny joke told by a friend seated across from you, as his index finger slides under the waist of your panties. You shift in your chair, forcing yourself not to whimper as Steve gently massages your clit. How can he act so normal? you wonder, as if he isn’t playing with your pussy mere inches away from your group of friends?
Steve’s boldness, the dirtiness of what he’s doing, has your clit plumping to meet his touch. It somehow feels dangerous…and you don’t want him to stop.
You twist and turn in your seat, trying to keep the pleasure between your legs from reaching your face. You nod politely at your guests, biting your lower lip as needed to keep from moaning.
The pressure inside you builds and builds as Steve’s fingers rub mercilessly over your clit. You’re sure that if he keeps going any longer, you’re going to orgasm right there at the table, in front of everyone. But Steve senses how close you are, and removes his hand from your panties, leaving you throbbing and frustrated.
“Excuse me for a minute, will you?” he smiles at your guests. As Steve rises to leave, he turns so his crotch is hidden behind your chair. “I need to see you about something,” he whispers at your ear, and walks out of the room.
You excuse yourself as well, and follow behind Steve like a lovesick puppy. As soon as he gets you into the hallway, Steve takes your hand and pulls you with him into the bathroom. You can hear your friends talking beyond the door as Steve closes it behind him and turns the lock. His hand closes over the back of your neck. Steve bends you forward over the sink, working his belt and pants undone as you hurriedly tug up your skirt.
He kneels down and kisses your ass. Steve’s teeth nip your flesh just slightly, making you shiver. He raises up and uses one hand to yank your drenched panties to the side, and guides his cock between your lips in one abrupt thrust.
Steve grunts into your hair as he aggressively humps you, his hand sliding around your throat to hold you in place. The moan that leaves your lips is loud and wanton; Steve slides his hand over your mouth to muffle your cries. You cling to the edge of the sink, your belly pressed against the cold ceramic. Steve’s free hand closes over your breast, groping you tenderly, your nipple perking against his palm.
Your climax ripples through you in powerful waves. You come moaning Steve’s name into his hand as it stays clamped over your mouth, your pussy sucking and milking his cock. Steve slams his hips forward, emptying his seed against your cervix with a low groan of relief.
He carefully pulls out of you, smiling at your reflection in the mirror. Steve fixes your panties, and his hair, then unlocks the door with a wink in your direction. “Run along now and be a good host,” he tells you, cheekily smacking your ass. “Our guests are waiting...”
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myysaints · 1 year
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𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 — x. thorpe
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XAVIER THORPE x f!reader
⌗︙・ summary — xavier’s into you. like into into you. but unfortunately, you aren’t quite on the same page.
contains — miscommunication, slight slight angst, fluff ending, pining from both ends... just dumb idiots unknowingly in love with each other &lt;3
notes — i am so obsessed with this man and this gif you don't understand. also, requests are open!
You’re tired.
It’s been an exhausting past few weeks; Between helping Wednesday with her investigations, worrying about being a victim of untimely death yourself, and on top of all that, keeping up with your academics, you’ve hardly had the time to even so much as think about Rave’N.
“Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a date?!”
You shrug at Enid, who gapes at you in askance. “I just don’t. Really, Enid, it’s not that big of a deal.”
It’s a Saturday, and you, Wednesday, Enid, and Xavier are seated on a grassy patch - A brief respite from the flurry of school.
“I mean, it’s only one of the most important social events of like, the century!” Enid exclaims.
From beside you, Xavier snorts. “C’mon, Enid, it’s not that big of a deal.”
He turns to you now, eyebrows raised. “Though i am surprised that no one’s asked you out yet.”
Unbeknownst to you, satisfaction bubbles in the long haired boy’s heart. It's not that he’s happy nobody has asked you to the dance - It’s just that it means he still can.
But your nonchalant reply sends his heart racing. “I never said I didn’t get asked out. I just said no.”
Shit. Xavier frowns, avoiding your gaze. So people have asked you out. Of course, what was he thinking? You’re only the most beautiful girl in Nevermore. How could he even delude himself into thinking you didn’t have boys falling at your feet?
Of course, you’d turn him down too. Why wouldn’t you? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re kind, you’re gorgeous… and him? Well, he’s just there. By your side.
Your best friend.
What would happen if you said no to him, like all those other guys? There’s no way your friendship could recover from that, no, not at all.
The only thing worse than not being your boyfriend was not being your friend at all.
“-I mean, I don’t… I don’t even know what to say!”
Xavier blinks, snapping out of his daze. He sees Enid shaking her head, at an utter loss for words as she says, “You turned down… all those guys? Why?!”
All you do is shrug, and Xavier swears you glance his way before replying, “I guess… I guess I’m just waiting for the right guy to ask.”
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You don’t see Xavier much after that.
If you’re being honest, you're a little disappointed. It’s only five days to Rave’N, and you still don’t have a date. Not that it matters much; After all, you’re perfectly content going on your own. It’s just…
Well, you were hoping a certain long haired artist would ask you to accompany him. But you’re quickly realising that that wish was going to stay that way - Just a wish.
A hopeless, desperate wish.
You curse under your breath as you leave yet another class without speaking to Xavier. It’s almost as if he’s been intentionally avoiding you, though for what reason, you haven’t the faintest clue.
Did you do something wrong? Was it something you said? Something you wore?
Come to think of it, he’s been distant ever since Saturday. Saturday. What happened on Saturday? God, all you can remember is that picnic with Enid and Wednesday, talking about the Rave’N, and… and…
God, what is it?!
You have half a mind to walk over to his dorm and demand for him to open up, but what good would that do? Xavier’s made it abundantly clear that he has no interest in conversing with you, so why should you be the one putting in all the effort when he-
“Y/N!”
Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
You turn, forcing an unimpressed look on your face despite the fact that your heart is beating a mile per minute.
To your surprise, Xavier looks nervous. Perhaps the most nervous you’ve ever see him - You don’t even think he was this anxious at the Poe Cup. He’s holding something behind his back, you note. Something pink. And green.
You eye him warily. “Xavier, what is it?”
He walks up to you, hands still clasped firmly behind him. “Look, I… Fuck, this is harder than I thought it was gonna be-”
You feel a sinking pit of dread in your stomach. Your head spins, and your voice cracks as you stutter, “Xavier, are you… Are you friendship breaking up with me right now?”
His eyes widen, almost comically so, and he’s frantically shaking his head. “What?! No, no, of course not!”
He tugs his hand through his hair haphazardly, one hand letting go of whatever he’s holding. You must be dreaming, because you think you see a pink petal float to the ground.
…Flowers?
You don’t mean for your voice to be so wobbly, but it is, as you say, “Xavier, I don’t… I don’t understand. You ignore me for days - No texts, no calls, nothing. You wouldn’t even look at me in the hallways! And now all of a sudden, you’re here… with flowers?”
He blinks, glancing down to the small pile of petals that have fallen off, and groans.
“Fuck,” he mutters lowly. “God, this is not how it was supposed to go-”
“hHw was what supposed to go?” you ask, perplexed.
“God, I knew this wasn’t a good idea, I knew it, I-”
“Xavier!” you exclaim, your heart lurching in confusion and exasperation and everything in between. “What is going on?!”
“I like you!”
And everything stops.
“I like you, Y/N, I like you so much it… it hurts, okay? And I wanted to ask you to the Rave’N with me, that’s what all these… The flowers, this whole thing was about. I just couldn’t stand being around you and knowing that you don’t have a date to the Rave’N ‘cause it - shit - it drove me crazy. But it was stupid, I get it, it was stupid of me to do this, and I understand if you wanna pretend like this never happened, but I just need you to know that I love y-!”
Your lips are on him before he can even finish his sentence. It feels like everything’s on fire; His hands are on your hips, and then they're moving around your waist, and you’re being lifted off your tiptoes, and he’s kissing you back, and it’s-
Xavier is breathing hard when you break away, his face flushed.
You smile, and he bites his lip, looking at you bashfully. “So... Is that a yes?”
You laugh, nodding as you thread your fingers in his. You blush when he raises your linked hands to press a kiss your knuckles.
“Yes, Xavier,” you mumble out, feeling him smile in between kisses. “A thousand times, yes.”
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moonhoures · 8 months
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Watch Yourself
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🕷️ kinktober — day 17: mirror sex🕸️
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pairing: jeonghan (svt) + reader (afab/fem)
genre: non-idol!au, smut, angst/comfort, fluff
warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, [reader is insecure & has negative thoughts about herself/her body so if that makes you uncomfy please don’t read this! mentions of stretch marks, weight gain, cellulite] established relationship, husband!jeonghan, body worship, mirror sex, fingering, marking
word count: ~1.9k
synopsis: you admit to your husband that you’re having negative thoughts about yourself again, so he tries to remind you why you shouldn’t
a/n: i usually don’t write with a focus on specific body types, so i tried to keep this vague but *shrugs* if you don’t feel comfy reading that’s okay! also, sorry for the wait! something came up and i wasn’t able to queue it in time 🤥
posted: october 17, 2023
kinktober masterlist
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The day had barely started, and you had already decided it wasn’t going to be a good one. You were rudely awoken at the ungodly hour of six a.m. The sun wasn’t even up yet, but you were. You tried to go back to bed, but each attempt at closing your eyes and relaxing were fruitless. You just couldn’t get comfortable again; you were too hot or too cold. The room was too quiet, and your thoughts were too loud. With a heavy sigh, you peeled the covers back and quietly stepped out of the bed to use the restroom. While you washed your hands, you looked at yourself in the mirror. And just like every other day this week, you frowned at your reflection.
You had a history of negative thoughts of your body. But you had spent a long time recovering from that toxic mindset. Your husband was a big part of that process. Jeonghan knew about your issues, and he had no problem letting you know that he liked you every and any way you looked. Even after five years together, no matter if you were in fancy clothes or sweatpants, his eyes lit up the same way when he set his eyes on you. He made you like your body for the first time in a long time. But some times were harder than others, and this week had been a hard time.
Nothing had really set it off. You had just been having low self esteem that then snowballed into nitpicking the way you looked in the mirror. If it wasn’t your face then it was your arms, or your stomach, or your legs, or your breasts. Sometimes it wasn’t just about your physicality. You felt like crap. You had mood swings and unwarranted anxiety. You overthought a lot. You felt like you weren’t enough, or you were boring.
You tried your absolute best to save face in front of your husband, not wanting to burden him with your issues, but he knew. He always knew. The slightest shift in your behavior would tip him off. Today was no different.
After you spent several minutes staring in the bathroom mirror, mentally berating yourself, you re-entered the bedroom. You shut the restroom light off but noticed Jeonghan’s bedside lamp was turned on, bathing the room in the softest white light. Your steps came to a halt just out of the doorway as you made eye contact with him. He was sitting up on his side, nearest to the bathroom, looking at you with a small smile just before he yawned.
“Decided to be an early bird today?” he joked.
You knew he was joking, but you couldn’t help but feel an immense amount of guilt for waking him up. You frowned once again, “Did I wake you? I’m so sorry. You can go back to bed, I’ll go in the living room.”
You went to leave the room, but he stopped you with one word, “No.”
For the second time, you came to a halt mid-step and met his eyes from across the room.
“Come here,” he gestured you over with two fingers. As you got closer, you could tell how tired he was. The skin under his eyes were smudged with that faint purplish-brown color that he only got when he didn’t get enough sleep. Your heart sank, “Sit.”
You did as he told you, sitting facing him as he scooted over to make some room for you on the edge of the bed. He looked into your eyes, searching for something, but you weren’t sure what it was yet.
“What’s been going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?” he asked, a stray piece of his fringe falling over his eyebrow. You so badly wanted to push it back where it came from. His hair looked so soft first thing in the morning.
“Nothing, I just couldn’t go back to sleep,” you supposed it wasn’t a complete lie.
“________,” he said your name the same way a disappointed parent would, “Please talk to me.”
You took a deep, shaky breath, mentally preparing yourself to unload, “I’ve been in one of my moods lately. Just feeling bad about myself. About the way I look. The way I feel. It’s just . . . been a lot.”
Your husband’s soft features seemed to harden the more you spoke, as if he was upset or angered by the words he was hearing. You averted your gaze from his, too ashamed to meet those beautiful brown eyes. For a moment he didn’t speak, he just looked at you. You started to feel uneasy under his stare, but then he was moving, carefully pulling the sheets back to free his legs. You asked him what he was doing, but he didn’t respond.
So, with worry setting in, you sat on the edge of the bed. You watched as he got up from the bed (in only his briefs) to cross the room where your full-length mirror was propped up in the corner. Despite the mirror being pretty hefty by itself, he picked it up with what looked like minimal effort. He placed it right in front of the wall opposite from where you sat, then he climbed back onto the bed, settling in right behind you.
He placed his hands on your shoulders, and you finally met his gaze through the mirror.
“What about your body do you not like?” he asked.
You felt frozen in place, and it didn’t help that his hands felt like they were anchoring you down. You weren’t going anywhere, as far as he was concerned.
“Tell me,” he urged you again.
You swallowed the nervousness building in your throat. Your eyes, along with his, raked over the image of your body in the mirror. From only a few feet away, the first thing you noticed was how bloated you looked, “I’ve been gaining a little weight in my stomach.”
Instantly, Jeonghan’s hands were slithering from your shoulders down to your torso. His lithe fingers splayed out over the soft fabric of your shirt covering your belly, “This stomach? The one I spend hours a week cooking for to make sure it’s fed and happy? To make sure you’re healthy? A little weight isn’t anything to worry about. It’s normal, ________.”
You refused to make eye contact with him, for fear of your eyes tearing up.
“What else?”
Your eyes spotted the top of your arms, the faint stretch marks you had grown accustomed to over the years were just barely showing from where your arm brushed against your ribs, “My arms.”
Your husband’s hand encircled your wrist, carefully turning your arm so that it was outstretched and your stretch marks were on display. He leaned down just enough for his lips to effortlessly press kisses to the delicate skin there, the shallow fissures not deterring him in the slightest. Truthfully, he never noticed them until you brought them up.
“My legs have cellulite,” you muttered so quietly, not even realizing you had said it out loud until he moved his hands down to your thighs.
His blunt fingernails drew goosebumps to the surface of your skin as he dragged them smoothly up your leg. He gripped your flesh in his palm, then soothed it with a gentle, massaging gesture, “These are not things you should feel bad about, _______.”
He whispered that against the shell of your ear, making you close your eyes to keep tears from spilling. You felt his supple lips press tender, healing kisses against the skin of your neck and shoulder. His hands snaked over your body, revisiting the areas you’ve pinpointed. Without words, he was telling you how much he loved your body. Exactly how it was. He always would.
“My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, his fingertips sliding between your thighs. Your skin there was naturally warm. Your breath hitched in your throat as he grazed over the material of your underwear while his other hand parted your legs. He loved that you didn’t wear pants to sleep. This way he could see the space between your thighs in the mirror; in fact, his eyes were locked on it, “You don’t think my wife is beautiful?”
You didn’t speak. You couldn’t. You didn’t know how to respond to that; or rather, you didn’t know how he wanted you to respond.
“Tell her she’s beautiful,” he spoke sternly, not giving you the option to say ‘No’.
“She is,” you said, a shaky gasp escaping you as his fingertips dipped beneath the edge of your panties.
He rubbed the pads of his fingers over your slit, his words ghosting over your neck as he spoke, “She’s what?”
“Beautiful,” you said.
“That’s right,” he continued to stroke your sensitive skin that was growing wet the more he worked you up. Your chest moved up and down with every heavy breath you took. He was holding back a smirk at the effect he had on you. And you could definitely feel the effect you had on him, his erection was practically poking your ass from behind, “My wife is the most beautiful woman on Earth.”
You nodded, not even really listening to what he was saying anymore. All you could focus on was the way his fingers were circling your clit perfectly. You rested your head on his shoulder, letting him have his way with his lips and teeth on your neck. Hickeys were blossoming all along the skin there, and you couldn’t care less.
“You’re always the prettiest person in every room,” he talked to you while your hips chased after his fingers that were relentlessly pleasuring you, “You’re the smartest. The most beautiful. The funniest. The most caring. You’re the best partner I could ever ask for, you know that, don’t you?”
You were too far gone, eyes beginning to close. Your thighs were starting to ache, wanting to close around his wrist. Jeonghan simply pushed them back open with his free hand before using his fingers to tilt your chin up. He caught your wide-eyed gaze in the mirror ahead of you two, and he looked like a teacher on the verge of reprimanding a student.
“__________,” just the way he said your name sent a chill down your spine.
“I know,” you agreed and, for the first time this morning, he believed you.
“Good, now I want you to watch yourself cum,” he gripped your chin gently, keeping your eyes locked on the sight before you.
You couldn’t deny him even if you wanted to. He kept you locked in. His fingers were bringing you to orgasm, his soft fingertips keeping a determined pace on the button at the top of your folds. They sent your pussy into a frenzy, clenching and pulsating around nothing, arousal leaking out onto your skin. It was getting to be too much, so you had to pull his hand away. But he only intertwined his fingers with yours, bringing your arms up to your chest as he hugged you from behind.
“Don’t keep all these thoughts to yourself,” his gentle voice floated over the skin of your shoulder before he pressed a kiss to it, “As your husband, I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. However you need me. I said that in my vows, and I meant it. Every word.”
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— taglist #1
@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite @k-drizzle @iguanas-world
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bucksangel · 5 months
Text
don't worry, darling
pairing: avenger!bucky x civilian!reader
word count: 3.3k
summary: even though bucky is mostly healed, that doesn’t mean his nightmares go away. and a particular grueling mission brings back memories he’d rather forget. 
warnings: angsttttt, hella fluff at the end though, hurt/comfort, talk of bucky’s trauma and abuse, brief mentions of murder of a hydra agent (he deserves it), nightmares, reader is here to love and comfort bucky, also civil war and everything after didn’t happen and they all live at the tower and everything is fine bc i said so
a/n: even though this does not contain smut, my blog is 18+ so minors dni. also i wanted to write something short and sweet to get my creative juices flowing and yet, as always, i managed to go overboard
tip jar | masterlist
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It started with a whimper, a small one. Barely detectable if you weren’t already awake and snuggled against Bucky’s body. He’s lying on his side facing you with you mirroring his position, arms wrapped around each other and your head tucked into his chest. You’ve been having a hard time sleeping for the last week and a half due to Bucky being gone on a mission that didn’t allow him to contact you at all. Your restless nights were mostly due to worrying over your boyfriend’s safety, something you always do whenever he leaves. It was worse this time around, though.
It was a day before he was supposed to leave, and you knew you weren’t supposed to listen in on other people’s private conversations, but you just couldn’t help yourself. You’d come home early from work one day to find Steve and Bucky in your shared home office, stopping outside the door and getting ready to knock when you overheard something about an upcoming mission. It seemed pretty important so you decided not to interrupt them, though you couldn’t force yourself to walk away.
You’re never allowed to know anything about what Bucky’s missions entail, and some part of you wanted to listen in on their conversation to hopefully ease any worries about what might be happening to him since you’ll have a general idea of where they’re going and what they’re doing. 
According to Steve, although it was going to be a four-day mission, it was supposed to be relatively simple. Or, it would’ve been simple if it weren’t for the fact that the building they were being sent to scout was an old Hydra facility somewhere in Russia. The same Hydra facility where Bucky was held captive.
Upon hearing this piece of information you wanted to barge into the room and tell Steve off for letting Bucky be a part of this mission. It’s been nearly five years since he escaped and Bucky has mostly readjusted, has recovered from his trauma as much as one can after being tortured for decades. And you’ll be damned if anything jeopardizes that progress.
But you’d also overheard Bucky agreeing with the plans, helping Steve strategize, and going over all the information that needed to be obtained. And it wasn’t your place to tell Bucky what he could and couldn’t do. As much as you wanted to demand that he not go, he was his own person. And if he thought he could handle this mission then you’d have to find a way to support him.
The four-day mission turned into eight and by the sixth day with still no contact, you’d marched into the tower and demanded Fury call you with any and all updates he received. He said he would in a tone that made you believe he wouldn’t give you every detail, but it did help reassure you that if anything happened to Bucky then you wouldn’t be kept totally in the dark. It was nerve-wracking in the worst way, obsessively thinking over what Bucky could be going through - physically and mentally.
But on the eighth day, Fury had called you on your lunch break at work to tell you that Bucky was on his way back to the Tower and would probably be back at your apartment by early evening after the briefing and check-up in the medical wing.
All of your nerves and anxieties that built up over the last week were immediately replaced with relief flooding your body, your heart finally unclenching at knowing that Bucky would be back in a few short hours. One good thing about your job is that you don’t technically need to be in the office every day. As long as you get your work done you’re pretty much given free rein to leave whenever you want, and you’d finished your stack of paperwork maybe fifteen minutes before the phone call.
You gathered up your things quickly and stopped by your boss's office to wish her a good weekend, then made your way to your car to head home. Your heartbeat was increasing ever so slightly the closer you got to your apartment, and you had to remind yourself to focus on driving instead of daydreaming of being back in Bucky’s arms.
When you did finally get home, you made quick work of cleaning the entire apartment; changing your bed sheets, doing laundry, then pulling out food from the fridge to make dinner. You’d actually just gotten the chicken out of the oven when the front door opened, and your excitement at finally seeing your boyfriend again forced you to run out of the kitchen and down the hall. But you stopped a good six feet from the door, standing still at seeing Bucky’s bruised face and scabbed knuckles.
“Bucky?” You asked softly, finally noticing the spacey look in his eyes, the way they seemed to be glazed over.
Bucky smiled at you, though it was more of a grimace, and you could tell it was mostly forced but he still wanted to acknowledge you. He approached you slowly, and you stood still so you would not startle him - he just seemed so on edge. He stopped not even a foot away from you, had stared down at you with a look in his eyes you hoped you would never see again - it was such an empty gaze, almost emotionless. There was no life in his eyes. It didn’t feel like the dead gaze was directed at you specifically, it was more like Bucky just couldn’t muster up any emotion at all.
That’s when you knew. Something went wrong.
Slowly, he brought up his right hand and placed it on the back of your head, tilting it up so he could really look at you, letting his gaze linger on your lips. Instead of kissing them, he leans forward to press a kiss on your forehead, wrapping his left arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. He didn’t speak as he slowly tucked you into his body, and you didn’t dare break the silence either, you simply wrapped your arms around his body as well, squeezing him tightly to let him know that you were there. You were there for him - physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you needed him to know that.
After maybe five minutes of no one speaking, of simply standing in the front hallway embracing each other, you decided to finally say something.
“I made dinner,” You whispered, running one of your hands up and down Bucky’s back. You pulled your head off of his chest but didn’t loosen your hold. “Chicken and mashed potatoes. I even made apple pie.”
Bucky’s mouth twitched again, and his attempted smile felt a little more genuine this time. His glassy eyes were filled with tears now, and he seemed oh so close to crying. You’d never seen him like this before, he was always happy, and smiling, even on days when he wouldn’t say it but you knew he still resented himself for his time as the soldier he would indulge in his hobbies to help him cope. But you’ve never seen him shut down before, and this is what this felt like.
You weren’t too sure how to help him, how to comfort him. But you had an inkling he might need some time to himself.
“How about you go shower and I can put the food away for later,” You said with a soft smile, speaking up again before Bucky had the chance to feel guilty, “I ate a couple of hours ago, I’m fine baby. Go shower.”
You lifted up on your toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, letting him squeeze you to his chest one more time before he released you, slumping off down the hall to the bathroom.
That was two days ago, and Bucky hasn’t spoken more than a few words at a time since. Now, it’s not like he’s avoiding you, he’s actually a little more clingy than he normally is. You can tell he wants to say something, to tell you what had happened, he just doesn’t know how. He hasn’t told you everything about what happened to him during his time as the soldier, but you know enough and don’t push him to say anything he doesn’t want to.
At night, Bucky will go out onto the small terrace outside of your apartment and stare up at the stars for hours. You don’t sit with him for all of it, just for about one hour - cuddled close to his body and talking softly and mindlessly about anything you can think of, anything that might help Bucky open up. Then, around nine or ten, you’ll give him a lingering kiss on his cheek, one on his temple, and one final kiss on his lips before going to bed, letting Bucky be alone with himself and his thoughts.
Tonight, though, Bucky’s decided to climb into bed with you soon after dinner. You both showered together, washing each other’s bodies and sharing a few lingering kisses under the spray of the shower head. You didn’t go any further, but you did make sure to spend extra time massaging his shoulders and back, placing kisses everywhere you could reach.
It’s one in the morning now, and you hear another whimper. Bucky shifts beside you, tightening his hold on you ever so slightly. Another whine. 
“Bucky?” You whisper, careful to not disturb the silence too much.
He responds with a mumbled ‘please’. Then, ‘no’.
“Buck? Baby?” You say a little louder, shifting in his hold but not able to move much due to his arms being wound around your body.
He shudders, pulling you further into him as his breathing picks up. He’s having a nightmare. Now, despite him being mostly healed, he still does have nightmares. They’ve lessened over the years, but they never truly go away.
When he’s in this mindset, you’re careful not to move too much and startle him awake. So, you simply shimmy your arm from under one of his so you can push on his chest and gently ease him onto his back. It takes a little more force than you’d like, but you’re eventually able to lay him flat on his back and untangle your body from his.
“Baby?” You whisper a little louder, placing your hand on the side of his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone. “Bucky.”
He groans; louder, desperate. He’s in pain. You run your hand down his face, down his neck, then land on his chest, right above his heart. It’s increased rapidly, and you can see beads of sweat coat his forehead.
“Bucky.” Your voice is pleading, and you push on his chest a little, now hoping to startle him awake before it gets worse. You don’t want to keep him in this nightmare, so you shake him again.
“Bu-” You’re stopped short by him gasping, his eyes shooting open and his body lifting off the bed slightly as he wakes up. Relief fills your body, and you sigh gratefully. You hate when he’s in pain, whether physical or mental, but you hate not being able to do anything about it even more.
Bucky doesn’t move right away, he squeezes his eyes closed and clenches his fists momentarily. Then, when you place your hand on his cheek, his whole body goes limp, relaxing into the sheets under your touch.
“Baby,” He whispers hoarsely. “I…” He chokes back a sob, and you’re quick to adjust yourselves so you’re laying on your back and he’s laying almost entirely on top of you with his head on your chest right above your heart. He starts crying then, really crying. His arms wrap themselves around your midsection, and you wrap yours around his body as well, cradling him close to you.
“It’s okay, darling. It’s okay, you’re okay,” You mumble into his ear, pressing kisses anywhere you can reach. You continue cooing at him, whispering reassurances and declarations of love until his cries taper off into small whimpers and sniffles. You’re really worried now. Yeah, Bucky isn’t shy about expressing his emotions, and you’ve held him after nightmares and through the aftermath of difficult missions when he comes home disheartened. But he’s never been so vulnerable, and you want nothing more than to hold him close and protect him from everything bad in the world.
Silence envelops the both of you for a while. You want to allow Bucky to speak when he’s ready. And he does so after a couple of minutes.
“There was an agent; Alix, I think. I - I don’t remember his last name, but…” Bucky pauses, and you take the opportunity to place a kiss on his forehead. “For the last five or so years of me being… him, Alix was there. He’d… Any time I failed a mission, he’d be there. Out of all the Hydra agents that I’ve ever come in contact with… his punishments were the worst.”  He pauses again, sniffling softly and nuzzling his face into your chest.
“I’m so sorry, darling,” You whisper, bringing your hand up to his hair so you can run your fingers through his locks. Bucky shakes his head softly, pressing a kiss to your collarbone.
“He was there. When Steve, Natasha, and I went to the facility last week, Alix was there. And he… I don’t know. I saw him and I just went blank, my mind shut off. I know I promised I wouldn’t kill anymore, I know. I just… He just hurt me so fucking much.”
Bucky starts crying again, and you have to force yourself not to cry as well. You want to be here to support him, not break down as well because then he’ll feel guilty. He always says you’re one of the most important people in his life - Steve obviously being another one - and that seeing you cry makes him want to go feral on whoever or whatever made you sad.
“I had to,” he says, muffled by his face tucking into your neck. “I just. I couldn’t not. I thought I was ready, I thought I could go there and be okay. But I wasn’t. I… He broke me.” Bucky trails off, sighing heavily before he goes quiet again, giving you time to process this information.
“Baby,” You say, prompting Bucky to hum in acknowledgment. “Can you look at me, please?”
You know it takes a lot of effort, but he does. Bucky lifts his head from your neck, looking into your eyes with overwhelming sorrow. Bending your head, you place a quick kiss on his lips.
“This might sound odd, but I’m proud of you. You thought you were healed enough to do it, you went through the planning and probably had to hype yourself up a lot to even agree to the mission. And that’s immense progress. The fact that you even felt ready, even if you ultimately weren’t, you pushed through it and finished the mission. And that’s something to be celebrated. Sometimes recovery can be set back by certain events, but that doesn’t mean that everything else you’ve accomplished is set back as well. You tried, and I’m proud of you.”
With that said, you give Bucky another kiss, lingering a little longer this time before pulling back and holding his gaze.
“And I know you promised to not kill anyone, but I don’t blame you in this situation. I don’t know what this says about me, but even though I don’t know exactly how you killed him, and I don’t think I want to honestly, I do know he deserved far worse than what you gave him. He’s just lucky I wasn’t there because I genuinely don’t know what I would have done if I saw him.”
Bucky’s mouth forms into the smallest of smiles, and you can’t help but want to burn the world to the ground if it means he was protected from the harm it brought him.
“I know you’re the man, and that, stereotypically, men are supposed to be the protector, the provider, but you also deserve to be protected, to have everything you could ever want. And I want to give that to you. I know you are your own person and you do a damn well job of taking care of yourself, but I also want to take care of you. I want to protect you from everything bad, everything that’s ever harmed you, and everything that could potentially harm you in the future.”
You place a kiss on his forehead, squeezing the arm that’s around his upper back to hug him tighter to you.
“You’re the love of my life, baby. Now and forever.”
Bucky shudders slightly, leaning up to kiss your jaw, then one to your cheek, one on the corner of your mouth, and one final kiss to your lips. Your hand continues to run through his hair, tugging at it slightly, causing your boyfriend to sigh in contentment and tighten his hold on you as well. You’re locked in the embrace for a long moment, his lips gliding over yours as the kiss remains relatively chaste. But then, he pulls away.
“Darling,” He says, and for the first time in two days, he finally looks like he’s getting back to his old self. “I - I don’t think I’m ready to talk about everything that happened during the mission right now, I kind of just want to hear you talk so I can get my mind off of it for a little if that’s okay?” He looks a bit nervous asking for that, but you’re quick to nod, offering him a smile of your own. Bucky smiles a tad bit wider and removes one of his arms from around your body so he can slowly reach up and take hold of your hand that’s still running through his hair. Stubble tickles your palm as Bucky presses his lips there, then turns his gaze up to look into your eyes.
“I can’t even describe how much I love you. It scares me, sometimes, the things I would do for you. I need you to know that I will do everything I can to make you as happy and safe as you make me. You’re just… you’re incredible. And I can’t thank you enough for how much you’ve helped me over the past two years that we’ve been together, even the entire year before we started dating when we were just friends.”
His eyes start watering for a whole other reason now. Bucky looks so damn in love that you’d think it hurt, and you would know because that’s exactly how you feel about him.
“I - I know we haven’t talked about it, and I don’t even have a ring, but I can’t ever imagine loving anyone as much as I love you. I’m devoted to you, now and forever. I don’t know how you feel, but if you’re ever willing to…” He pauses, and you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly, a sudden happiness flooding your body.
“If I were to one day ask you to marry me, would you say yes?”
You’ve never nodded faster in your life, nor have you ever said ‘yes’ so quickly to anything Bucky has asked.
The large sigh of relief your boyfriend lets out lets you know he’s probably been thinking about this for a while, and you would swear your heart is about to burst from how much you love this man as you hold him close to your chest and place absentminded kisses on his forehead, cheeks, lips, the top of his head.
Everything stays silent for a few minutes, letting the conversation taper off. That is, until Bucky puts his head back on your shoulder, lacing his fingers with yours and bringing your hands up to kiss your knuckles.
“Can you talk to me?”
Humming in agreement, you run your hand that’s still on his back up and down in a soothing motion.
“Do you want to hear about how Sam almost broke his arm last week?”
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shadowandlightt · 4 months
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Of Nightmares and Memories |seven| Azriel X reader
Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six
A/N: Little bit of a filler, setting up for the second act. I'm very excited for you guys to see where this is going <3
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The week that she was gone was more miserable than most. Your fae healing would kick in, leaving little trace of Tamlin’s brutality, only for him to return and beat you to a pulp once more. You were starting to lose track of the days, only seeming to exist in between Tamlin’s visits, when Feyre reappeared. Not looking worse for wear, but instead looking a little lighter than when she left, but filled with the same amount of anxiety. 
You could hear Tamlin lock her away into the study, questioning her on everything about the Night Court. Feyre saw so little though, you knew that. Your brother wouldn’t put the Court at risk by bringing her anywhere but the Moonstone Palace. But she met with Mor, and that was enough to bring me to my knees. Just knowing she was alive was enough. But then Feyre mentioned Cassian and Azriel and tears started to flow freely. Because they were alive and in one piece. After everything they made it, they were alive and well. Rhys wouldn’t have mentioned them otherwise. 
You sobbed on the floor of your rooms, curled in a ball. Because he lived. Despite it all, Azriel lived. And maybe, somehow you would see him again. Maybe, just maybe, you would be able to escape and make it home. Bide your time until the faebane was out of your system enough to reach out to Rhys for help. 
The Tithe came a week later. You hadn’t left your rooms in months, hadn’t felt the sun on your face. Food was brought to you by Alis, sometimes Feyre would sneak into your rooms for a moment. You wish she would’ve after she returned from the Night Court so you could learn how Rhys and Mor were first hand, instead of having to strain to hear it all. 
You watched from my window as Feyre sat beside Tamlin, looking like the picture of a Spring Court lady. It made you sick. She belonged here just as much as you did. You couldn’t hear from where you stood, but you could see them just fine. The way half of the people barely had enough to pay the Tithe. It broke your heart, Tamlin should have delayed it again. Should have given his people more than three months to recover from the fifty years of pain and suffering they had to endure. But Tamlin was proud, too proud. 
So when Feyre gave her jewels to a water wraith, you knew he would be furious. You could hear it over the dinner that followed. The way they snapped at one another, and then silence, like Feyre left the room. 
It was hours before you heard the sound of what seemed like an explosion. You couldn't move to find out what happened, so you strained my ears to hear whatever you could. All you could hear was Tamlin apologizing over and over again to Feyre. He keeps promising he’ll do better, keeps promising they’ll get through this and that things will change. You wonder if she knows it’s all a lie? 
Rhys comes for her a few weeks later. In the middle of the night, while you’re all fast asleep. You don’t wake until Tamlin comes bursting into your rooms, demanding to know how he can get Rhys to release Feyre from their bargain. When you tell him that your stubborn brother would rather die than give Tamlin something he wanted, he beat you. And then beat you some more, until you were nothing but a bloodied mess on the floor. 
He was waiting by an oak tree at the end of the week. Your body was sore and broken, but healing slowly. Rhys appeared with Feyre in tow, looking exhausted as always. You were beginning to truly worry about her, because it was obvious she was a shell of the human you met months ago. A shell of the one who slapped Tamlin and dared to go against Amerantha. 
Now she was nothing. And there was nothing I could do about it, and hardly anything Rhys could do in one week every month. He could try to get her back, but in the end she would return her and fall deeper and deeper. She was right when she told Tamlin she was drowning. 
All hell broke loose the following day though. 
Though Ianthe returned, you were finally allowed to leave your rooms for a time. You found Feyre standing by the front door, begging Tamlin to take her with him on his trip. He refused, of course, leaving her alone in the doorway. When Feyre said she was coming whether Tamlin liked it or not, you could see something change in him. That’s when she slammed against an invisible wall. That’s when you realized we were both fucked. 
She begged and begged, but he kept moving. He mounted his horse and rode away. Lucien lingered for a moment, saying something I couldn’t quite make out from the ringing in my own ears. She was going to rip herself apart or die in this manor house. 
You watched as Lucien and Tamlin disappeared. Watched as Feyre crumbled in on herself and slowly began to lose control. Darkness seeped out of her, then fire and ice. She was wrapping herself in a cocoon of it as she crashed to the floor. your heart broke, because you had no power to help her. 
Alis called her name, begging her to calm down. But Feyre couldn’t hear her, or chose not to. You felt the need to vomit as I watched on, feeling more helpless than you ever had before.
“Help her!” Alis demanded, finally seeing you standing there. 
“I can’t,” you choked out, “I have no power. Your master….he…I can’t do anything.” 
Feyre was going to die. There would be nothing left of her by the time Tamlin and Lucien made it back here. She would be nothing but a pile of ashes at this rate. you felt utterly sick, and angry. Angry that you had no power left to help, angry that you’d been locked away too for too long. Angry that Tamlin would even think about locking Feyre away like this, knowing that she would react poorly. 
But reacting poorly is an understatement. She was going to bring the whole place down around us. We would all die at her hand, and she wouldn’t mean to do it. She would topple the Spring Court tonight, without meaning to do it. And you would finally be free, in life or in death. 
But then the very foundations shuttered, and the sight of blonde hair filled my eyes. you  fell to your knees, because it was Mor, whole and beautiful as ever. She couldn’t see you from where you were, but you could see her as she reached into the cocoon of darkness and pulled Feyre out. 
“Go,” Alis whispered to me, “Go with them.” 
You shook your head, unable to move. Surely it couldn’t be that simple. Surely there would be something else to stop me from leaving. you  couldn’t even make it to the gate before. Why would now be any different? 
“Please-please take care of her,” Alis begged Mor, “Take care of them both.”
“Both?” Mor questioned. 
It was then, with the thought of Azriel and finally returning home to Valaris. Finally being able to fly again and feel the sun and wind on my face. Finally being able to feel Cassian’s bone crushing hugs, and Rhys….oh Rhys. It was only then that you got to your feet and moved from your hiding spot. 
Mor faltered upon seeing me. You  thought she might even drop Feyre as a sob ripped from her lips. Feyre seemed to be unconscious in the woman’s arms, unaware of what was happening. But Mor knew, the second she laid eyes upon me, she knew. Even though my body had changed and I’d matured, she still saw me. 
“How is this possible?” She questioned, taking a small step towards me. 
“You don’t have time,” Alis warned, “Someone will have alerted the High Lord, he’ll be on his way.”
“Take me home Mor,” you beg, “Please Mor, take me home.”
“Consider yourselves very, very lucky that your High Lord was not here when we arrived,” Mor warned. 
With tears in her eyes, Mor nodded towards me and took a step towards the door. Feyre finally took in a breath, deep and shuttering. You swallowed hard and followed them out of the door. Mor told Feyre that nothing was going to keep them from her, and that Rhys shattered the shields without a second thought. 
What would he do when he realized what else he freed? Would he be happy to see you again after so many years? Or would it be too painful for him, after moving on hundreds of years ago. Because surely they all moved on. Surely they didn’t think about you the way you thought of all of them. Surely they didn’t spend every day mourning the life you could have had if Tamlin hadn’t told his father and brothers where to find you that day, or if Rhys hadn’t told Tamlin, or if he’d simply showed up to meet you that day. So many things could be different. 
“Hold onto me,” Mor told you , tears streaming down her face. 
You grasp onto her arm and hold tightly to it as she winnows you. Your eyes strain against the bright light that floods your vision. Rhys is leaning against a tree, and straightens the second he sees the three of you. He falters, just as Mor had. Eyes blinking furiously as if he’s trying to clear his head. 
“You-” 
“Rhys,” your voice cracks, “It’s me. I promise.”
“I-” He shakes his head, “You’re dead.”
“No,” You whisper to him, “That’s what they wanted you to think. I’ve been locked away this whole time.”
He reaches for you. Like you’re a ghost that’s going to disappear the second he touches you. Only you don’t, because you’re living and breathing. He breaks then, tears streaming down his face as he pulls you into a tight hug. 
“We need to move, Rhys,” Mor reminds him, “The faster we’re in the Night Court, the better.”
“Take me home,” You say again, “I just want to go home.” 
“Oh, Little Star,” for the first time in hundreds of years, the name is said with such love and adoration. You don’t flinch when you hear it, you don’t expect it to be accompanied by a blow. Because you know you’re safe now. Safe and loved and protected, “Let’s go home.”
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
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*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— skeletons + sae itoshi.
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૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — sae doesn’t realise how much being away from home affects him, until he hears your voice again.
⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, angst, hurt no comfort, long-distance, established relationship, mentions of mental health, pro player!sae, fem!reader - not beta read !
⭑ words — 2K.
⭑ notes — hi beautiful babies!! this is the first of a few fics i have queued for my week away. i wrote this a while ago and it’s based off of skeletons by keshi !! hope you like <3 - m.list ✩
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in all honesty, sae itoshi doesn’t expect you to pick up. it’s way too late for you, just breaching the early house of the next morning in japan. there’s a seven hour difference between madrid and tokyo, sae knows because he’s looked it up a million times before anticipating a call or text from you. and right now, you’re probably sleeping, you’re supposed to have been sleeping.
but alas, your phone rings and you pick up on the third— voice groggy over the comforting crackle of static on the line. “h…hello?”  
for a moment, the older itoshi brother listens to you and your natural ambience. he notes your deep breathing, still recovering from the depths of sleep, and the slight whines you let out with your yawns as you stretch your stiff muscles. maybe it’s weird, but sae misses all of your sounds, he misses waking up next to them— curling his arm around your waist on nights you’d snuck over to his childhood home just to see him. 
“is anyone there?”
snapping out of it, sae clears his throat— fixing his voice as it sits hoarse in its base before he speaks. “it’s me, love.” 
“sae!” shifting from the sheets tells sae that you’re more awake now— alerted by the symphony of his voice over the shitty landline. “shouldn’t you be asleep by now?”
“could say the same for you, it’s four am over there.” he knows that he’s wrong, you’re seven hours ahead and it’s only ten pm for him — meaning it’ll be closer to five am where you are and sae itoshi is never wrong. he was born with impressive gut instinct and a quick mind but this time he’s wrong on purpose. he makes a mistake because he wants to stall for time, keep you talking a little longer and hear your voice for a few minutes more…because maybe that’ll keep the demons away.
keep his head floating above the water he seems to have fallen in. 
sae is drowning in his dreams, and if he reaches out he can’t touch them— to him, the greatest of all time…they’re unattainable.
“five actually, and my alarm is meant to go off soon. i thought you were it and then i saw your contact…” you manage to say through a yawn, rubbing your eye’s unbeknownst to your boyfriend since he’s halfway across the globe. if he could see, if he was there—he’d probably call you cute, wipe your eyes for you and force you back down to sleep. but he’s not here and he can’t see because there’s a distance between you that can only be fixed by grainy face times on your cells.
“i wanted to call.” the midfielder clarifies, cutting you off sharply but his words coat the inside of his mouth like cotton, as if they’re hard to say — melting over the line like rice paper on his tongue. 
“okay,” breathing slow, you hug your knees to your chest and let your silence tangle with the crackling static. “you don’t usually call first.” 
“i needed to hear your voice.” 
“i’m here. i miss you. do you want to switch to facetime?” sae has half a mind to tell you no. if you switch now, you’d worry— you’d see how hollow he’s become, how sleep deprivation eats at the pink tinge to his flesh and clings to the undersides of his dulling aquamarine eyes. you might think that he’s dying and perhaps he is. the pro player feels like he is. every day is harder, his bones feel heavier and his muscles weaker — he needs medicine. he needs you. 
you’re the only drug sae would ever inject into his veins— your smile, your laugh, your heart. they make him better, make him feel alive. so he relents, “gimme a sec, i’ll call you.” he grunts and taps the button to video-call, waiting for you to pick up again.
“there you are, handsome. tell me about your day.” blue light from the early  morning filters over your skin— the footage of the FaceTime call is grainy, probably because it’s still a little bit dark outside for you but you’re beautiful. to sae you’ve always been beautiful. 
the elder itoshi brother makes a small effort to smile at your compliment, the expression blooming on his cheeks which you mirror, happy to see him — he misses you too. “i don’t wanna talk about it. you do the talking. i just want to listen to you.” 
“alright well… i worked today— yesterday. sorry! timezones,” you miss the way sae winces at the mention of your time difference, the invisible divide between you both, as you settle back into your bed to admire him. “my shift sort of sucked, you know how it goes.” your boyfriend listens to you intently, makes faces at the complaints you make about customers, clients and coworkers alike. 
sometimes, the midfielder doesn’t understand you how you devote your life’s work, your beauty and intelligence to an industry that chews you up, spits you out like dirt and drives you to the edge of falling to pieces. sae doesn’t doubt you, he knows that you’re talented and wishes you saw the same value in yourself that he did. 
you deserve better. so much better.
perhaps he’s the same as you, working for someone else until he breaks and he’s better than everyone else— all in the name of becoming the best in the world.
“you hate your job. quit. i earn enough money to take care of you.” 
“and you hate yours. but you won’t come home where i can take care of you.” 
sae rolls his eyes at your quip because of how easy it is for you to read him despite the way he hides his emotions behind a clay mask. he’s always been like that, but he feels the need to tuck away the uglier parts from him even more of late— even if you’ve seen it all before. the late nights where he’s feeling sad and goes to bed, sae wakes up feeling even worse. especially without you but even now with your face on a screen, beaming at him the same way you have all your life— he doesn’t feel any better.
you’re meant to be his solace. 
quickly changing the subject, sae nods his head as if to push you in a different conversational direction. “tell me about what you did after work.” 
you hesitate, peering into his ocean eyes for a split second. “i went to see rin at blue lock. he’s…he’s doing really well, you know. you should come see him sometime. you’d be proud of how far he’s come since we were little.” 
it’s not that he doesn’t care about his younger brother, but the relationship between rin and sae itoshi is probably long past any attempts at repair. you’ve been stuck in the middle for as long as you’ve known them— pulling them close despite the boys repelling each other like polar magnets. 
you were the glue when they were kids, keeping the three of you together and to this day you still tried to manage the gap between the two brothers, despite their disputes. their differences.“can we please not talk about that half-ass piece of—“ you glare over the phone from across the globe and sae silences himself, pursing his lips to avoid scrutiny from the love of his life. you.
“you know, you never told me what happened when you first came home from Spain.” you blurt after a moment's quiet. “but i think i’ve always sorta known.”
“yeah?” the magenta haired midfielder challenges, brushing a hand over his tired face.
“yeah…” nodding subtly, you shift and roll onto your side— a solemn expression dancing across your features. “you changed. you hurt him, sae, real bad. rin changed too.” you say hoarsely, as if the words you’ve uttered burn at the insides of your throat like bitter liquor. “you’ve not shown that same fate to me, you know better than to lash out at me. but you’re different. you don’t smile anymore. not with your eyes like you used to — i miss that.” i miss you. is what you really want to say. not just physically, but emotionally. you want your boyfriend back, not the empty shell of skin and bones you have now.  
even sae picks up on the hidden meaning behind your words— he doesn’t smile at you like he used to.
for once the eldest itoshi decides to be honest with you. he thinks to tell you how stressed out he is, how he’s scared his plan for this soccer thing might not even work out. he decides to be honest  in words that he knows best and not all the details because he doesn’t want you to break over him. 
“talk to me, itoshi.” you cut through his thoughts like a knife through butter.
“i’m afraid of myself, and i hate it.” 
“then come home, sae.” it’s a nice offer, a tempting bribe. to be home with you when sae knows that would be the closest thing to giving up. he knew you wouldn’t get it. you wouldn’t understand how much soccer meant to him but you can’t be blamed for that. the thing you love most in the world isn’t your career— it’s him. “come home and be with me.” 
your wish would be as selfish as his — you don’t want him to give up soccer for you and he doesn’t want to leave soccer to feel better with you like he knows he would. 
“i need to make it to the end of the season — i have to.” 
“sae, you’re tired. you look like a ghost.” 
“i don’t even know if i’m going to make it.” he snaps, desperate and pleading with you not to make this more difficult than it already is. “but if i don’t try. then all of this will be for nothing. my goals have changed, but i worked hard for this and i will get what i want.” he spits out as if there’s acid on his tongue, burning through the little solace of love you’ve tried to wrap him up in. sae runs a hand through his silken locks, sighing as he briefly looks away from your crumpled face on the screen. “so stop asking me to come home for you because i won’t. it’s not worth it. you’re not worth it.”
you gasp, tears flooding your eyes. you know he doesn’t mean it, or maybe he does — it’s been difficult to read sae recently, he’s slipping from your grasp like sand between your fingers and you just have to let him. another beat of silence echoes between you both — but neither of you make the effort to speak. sae doesn’t correct himself and you don’t force your hand to make him apologise.
you care enough for him not to make him fight— to make sae choose his own battles. you’d never ask him to pick soccer over you, because you know what his answer would be regardless… but that doesn’t mean it hurts you any less to watch him destroy himself for it and to lose the boy you grew up loving to a sport you may never understand.
though, that doesn’t stop you from lashing out and bearing  your own fangs either — if he was going to throw salt in your wounds, you could do that too.
“i have to go, itoshi. get some rest, you look like shit, but you that’s what you want, right? it’s worth it to you.”  
you hang up before he can say a word and sae can’t bring himself to message and apologise. because he knows that you’re right, you’re telling him to pick soccer because he can’t make that choice for himself. 
sae itoshi is a pro player now. he’s gotten what he’s always wanted — he’s achieving his dreams as the corpse of the man he once was. the one who loved you proper.
but that doesn’t matter anymore, whatever his team wants out of him they get. 
since his skeleton’s out for the taking. 
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gyuswhore · 9 months
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the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader
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the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us
synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.
wc: 2.1K
contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments
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Support creators by reblogging!
[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)
[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.
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Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.
He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 
There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.
And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 
There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 
Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 
Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.
The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 
“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.
“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.
“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”
“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”
“All the time!”
“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”
“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 
The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 
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You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.
But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 
A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.
[You]: can we talk?
But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 
This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 
Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 
You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 
The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 
You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 
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There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 
He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 
“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 
“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.
“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”
“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.
Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 
“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 
“How does this—” 
“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 
Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.
“No.” 
Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”
“I don’t hate her.”
“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.
“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”
Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 
Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 
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Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 
You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 
There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 
Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 
The universe seems to have other plans. 
It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 
You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 
No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.
You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.
“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.
Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 
There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 
Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.
But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 
You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 
Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 
“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 
Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 
You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.
“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.
Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 
“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 
You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”
“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 
“Huh?”
“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 
You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—
“What?- Ow!” 
“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.
Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 
“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”
“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”
Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”
“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 
Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.
He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 
“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.
“I love you.” 
“I love you, too.” 
“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 
It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 
“W-what?”
“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 
“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 
“Did I make another mistake?” 
No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 
“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 
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alottiegoingon · 1 month
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bad liar
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shauna shipman x fem!reader
summary: the one where you are stressed with your finals but shauna helps you.
warnings: modern days based, characters are aged up and in college, minor cursing, smut MDNI, oral and fingering, soft top!shauna, a tiny drop of praise kink, established relationship, fluff and cute aftercare moment but angsty ending?, too short cause i got lazy, not proofread
spending the rest of your night in bed with your girlfriend wasn't exactly how you planned to end the day. you were never the kind of person who had to study like crazy to get some good grades during school years but ever since you got in college, you realized that things were much harder there.
without a doubt, you were stressed. your desk was a mess, there were books and papers everywhere, and you could barely sleep at night even when shauna was holding you close. you were relying on coffee to survive the week.
"just a few more minutes, okay? i'm almost done, love." your eyes remained attached to your notebook and your hands didn't bother to let go of the pen or fidgeting with the buttons of your dress when you tried to gain a few more minutes from your impatient girlfriend. or hours.
"you said that twice already." shauna let out a frustrated groan, lounging in the big bed behind you.
"i know, i know. but i can't fail that one and it's just for tonight." you noticed how your attempt to persuade her failed when she didn't say a word. she was definitely rolling her eyes or murdering your professor inside her freaky mind.
dating since high school, you had some pretty good experience with her. you were absolutely sure that her silence wasn't a good thing at all. instead of actually talking about what bothered her, shauna had the tendency to shut herself. everything could go from sunshine and rainbows to a passive aggressive shauna in a matter of seconds and she would hold on to all of those unspoken thoughts until they exploded all at once.
"you alright there?" you finally drop your pen and decide to look back over your shoulder, still sitting by your desk covered in sheets of paper, colored pens, a laptop and books.
shauna was at the same position but now, she wasn't looking at you anymore. the ceiling was much more important now that she was doing her best to ignore you.
"yes." she murmured, masking her annoyance under a nonchalant tone. you watch her nose twitching for half a second.
"you know i can tell when you're lying, right? you scrunch your nose just a little when you lie. it’s cute."
"i don't. it just tickles." her nose wrinkled again. you were still trying to decide if you wanted to give her an exasperated glance or smile at how entertaining grumpy shauna was. it never lasted long anyway.
"okay then." you turn back to give your laptop all the attention.
"are you done now?" she gives up after five minutes or so in complete silence.
"nope." you repeat your words from earlier tonight just so shauna could sigh dramatically, loud and clear, to make sure that you were hearing.
that would be a long night.
you stopped hearing your girlfriends clear unhappy noises after a few minutes and you decided to ignore how pissed she probably was to focus on your study. in another words, you were too scared to look back and find her with intimidating eyes that could destroy you and your entire family. you could apologize and make it up to her later with an A glued to your forehead.
eventually you found yourself so focused on the words written in front of you that the rest of the world was practically gone. that until you felt a pair of hands on your knees that automatically made you jump on your chair.
"jesus christ!" you scream, looking down to find shauna on her knees under your desk, right between your legs. it took you a moment to fully recover from how fast your heart was beating.
"try again." she murmured, chin resting on your thigh as she looked up to meet your gaze. very funny.
"what the hell are you doing? i didn't even see you move!"
she ignored you completely. tired of waiting, she lowered her head, pressing her lips to your covered thighs and you feel your body getting tense as you notice what she was trying to do.
"shauna." inside your mind, you definitely scolded her. in reality, your voice was already getting breathy. "i have an entire chapter to finish."
"go on. i'm not stopping you." her mouth doesn't bother to move away from you, causing her words to come out muffled. instead, her hands find their way to your dress and the fabric is slowly pulled up to your upper thighs.
exhaling deeply, your eyes couldn't choose between the book in front of you or the captivating view right under your nose. shauna trailed her way from your knees to your inner thighs with small and wet kisses and it was embarrassing how easily she could press the right buttons and turn you into a wet mess.
among reserved groans, you tried to write new words on your notebook but your brain seemed to have turned into mush. feeling faint, you held the pen still for so long that some ink had gathered on the paper.
"what happened? you were so focused. don't let me interrupt you." shauna mocks you, pleased by your effort to stay unbothered. no matter how her condescending words made you want to reprehend her and push her away, the second she pulled your soaked panties to the side it all disappeared.
"shut up." you squirm, inducing the swivel chair to slightly rotate, eyes fixated on your girlfriend.
you were expecting shauna to be petty and leave you dripping wet by yourself or to tease you some more, but you weren't expecting that.
"gladly." in quick motion, shauna's hands held you by your thighs to pull you closer to her, almost making you fall as you reach the edge of the chair. slouching on your seat, your legs were rapidly spread and the warmth of her tongue finds your throbbing core.
you feel a jolt of pleasure shoot through your body and your hands promptly clasp onto her hair, mouth hanging open to emit a surprised and breathless moan.
unlike you, shauna was fierce and one of her favorite things was to watch you. eyes overflowing with adoration and arousal, she was fascinated by you.
wrapping her lips around your clit, she is gentle while sucking and flicking it with her tongue. the heat was spreading quickly all over your body and you were glad that only a few people were in the building in that saturday night cause the whole room was brimmed with your countless whimpers.
"fuck, shauna..." you cry, pulling your girlfriend's hair and feeling your legs tremble.
shauna notices almost immediately how your hips began to buck against her mouth and how your breaths were becoming more ragged and didn't waste a second to redouble her effort to make you scream her name. sucking harder and running her tongue along your folds along with focusing on your swollen clit, you feel her teeth lightly grazing your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine.
"s-so close..." you feel your orgasm building, the pleasure overwhelming you, her hair brushing against your inner thighs as you move against her. shauna seems to sense it too as her movements became more fervent. she had to grip onto your legs tighter to keep them open and fight your urgency to close them when her tongue work grew urgent.
enjoying your whiny mess for a view, shauna let go of one of your legs to play with your entrance just to push two fingers inside of your pussy, feeling you stretch to her touch and moan her name in response.
"you like when my fingers fill you up, don't you?" shauna mutters against your clit, gently nibbling on your sensitive nerve. her hoarse sounding voice made you roll your eyes, and not in a bad way, followed by a smug smirk on her face and an intense gaze locked on you. you nod desperately. with your hips jerking violently against her mouth as you were practically riding her fingers, you sense your body on fire.
you feel the release building within you, every nerve of yours is tingling with anticipation. shauna's fingers were pumping in and out of you faster, curling up when going as deeper. hitting you vigorously, you cry out, back arching and toes curling succeeded by your fingers letting go of her hair to grip the armrests of the chair as you climax.
you can hear her muffled moans and groans against your skin, her lips still firmly around your clit and fingers roughly going in despite you squeezing her out, only stopping when your leg twitching and hip movements began to slow down. her hand was coated in your juices.
"you forgot about that book of yours real quick." shauna chuckles. you wanted to retort her but you were exhausted. panting heavily, you watch her slowly pull her fingers out of you and trace her thumb over your mouth. "open." she muttered, forcing your lower lip down, she slid her fingers inside to meet your tongue. you don't hesitate to do what she wanted you to, wanting to please her.
sweeping her wet fingers with your tongue and tasting yourself, you swallow all of it while your starry eyes pierced her.
"good job, baby." shauna grins, carefully sliding her fingers out. it takes you a while to adjust yourself to the absence of her. she pushes your chair back just to get enough space to stand on her feet, ignoring her sore legs, and kisses the top of your head. "come on, let's go to bed. i promise i'll help you study tomorrow, okay?" she suggests, right hand finding your head to caress your hair in circles.
you were quite sure that she would do the absolute same thing tomorrow, getting grumpy and impatient and let it all out when fucking you, but you didn't care.
barely being capable of standing up, shauna holds you to help you on your way to bed. lying on your sides, facing each other, she pulls you closer to her body and wraps her arm around your waist.
"thank you. i love you." you whisper to her, giving the tip of her nose a sloppy and sweet kiss. you watch her lips curl into a radiant smile.
"i love you too." she echoes you, leaning closer to fill your face with pecks in between some soft giggles, stopping at your lips to properly kiss you. “goodnight”.
you fell asleep with your face stuck to shauna's neck, nestled against her comfort. nothing could bother you.
well, except for the loud buzz of your girlfriend's phone.
"who's texting you at this time?" your husky voice resounds in her ears, slightly scared by the unexpected noise, head still hidden.
shauna let go of you briefly to turn half of her body to the opposite side and face the bedside table just to take a quick look at her phone, responsible for brightening half of the bedroom.
"it's just van sending pictures of the party she went to with tai." shauna whispered, nose slightly twitching up as she muted notifications. before she could turn around to face you, another message was displayed on the screen.
JACKIE: I had a great time last night. see you tomorrow? ;)
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Text
Lord Husband (Chapter 10)
cregan stark x reader
A/N: I keep forgetting I exist. Sorry this is short oopsies
WORD COUNT: 982 words
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You hardly see him for weeks. Any new wife would expect her husband to impress his needs upon her frequently after the wedding night in hopes of creating an heir but you almost knew he wouldn’t. There’s something so strange about Cregan Stark; he’s empathetic. It’s not a trait you knew any man could hold. In reality, you should be pleased that your husband doesn’t wish to rape you but you’re more frustrated. He shall want for a son eventually, won’t he? This is only delaying the inevitable and you are a ‘get it over with’ kind of woman.
You arrive at his chambers with little more than a knock on the door. “Do you not wish for an heir, Lord Stark?”
“Good morning.” He murmurs, looking up from the papers on his desk.
“An heir? Is it your wish or not?” You say, disregarding his greeting.
He sighs, already stressed from reading over land disputes and not wishing to be stressed over his petulant wife. “Of course I want for a son.”
“You haven’t visited my chambers in weeks.”
“I did not think you wanted me to.” He looks at you, confused and a bit sorrowful.
“There is only one way to make a child.”
Gods he thinks you look so like a child when you stand there with such false assurance. It makes him feel wretched.
“You weeped the last time I took you to bed. I have been trying to give you time so that you might… recover?” The words don’t feel right to him. “I don’t want to cause you pain.”
“Lying with you caused me no feelings of importance.”
Cregan counts to ten in his head but only makes it to five. He then stands abruptly.
“You will watch your tone when you speak to me!” He says, fed up with your lack of decorum.
You gape at him like a fish. He went from so pitiful to angry so quickly.
“I have done all I can to make you comfortable, all I can to make you feel welcomed and at every turn, you insult me! You have spent your entire life as the spoilt daughter of the Queen and for that, I do not blame you but I can only be so lenient. You will no longer take liberties with how you speak to me. I am your husband and you will learn to treat me as such.” He breathes heavily after letting all his emotions go. “Even princesses don’t speak to their spouses in the way you speak to me.”
“I’m not your wife by choice. I didn’t want this.” You protest in justification of your own cruelty.
He scoffs. “And do you think I did?”
“You asked for my hand.”
“Her Grace offered me your hand.”
“You could’ve said no.”
“Is that truly what you think? Are you really so naive as to believe that? Everyone of our station marries for advantage. I am no different and neither are you.” Even when he shouted at you only moments ago, he never sounded as hateful as he does right now.
“And you’re happy with this standard?” You ask with level headed contemplation.
“Of course I’m not but it’s what is done.”
“It isn’t fair for you to fault me for wanting something more when you’re also unhappy with it… especially when you know it’s more difficult for women than men.” You desperately want him to understand you. You just want somebody to understand.
“We all make sacrifices for the people we love.” He says dutifully.
“I make the sacrifices while my brothers marry for love. How is that fair?”
“So you’re bitter? Prince Jacaerys will be king one day. That’s a much greater sacrifice than marrying for advantage.”
The tears prickle in your eyes. You should’ve known.
“At least he won’t be alone.”
You don’t want to argue anymore, or rather be scolded like a dumb child so you leave, striding back to your room.
You stare into the mirror when you arrive. Would your mother be disappointed by how disagreeable you are, how disobedient? Daemon wouldn’t. But you aren’t Daemon Targaryen. You’re just a girl, a girl that might ruin an alliance if you can’t make nice with your husband. Should you care? Your stepfather wouldn’t. Dragon riders don’t obey societal norms… but you do care… ever so slightly.
~~~
A voice at the door. Does he want to be let in only so he can say a hundred words that mean so little?
“Enter.”
Your husband, tall and strong walks into the room, reminding you of someone you used to know. He’s kind and brave like him.
“I should not have shouted at you. I just feel as though I’m not heard when I’m quiet but that is no justification.” He stares at the back of your head. You don’t turn to face him, looking out the window instead of at the mirror. This is your home now. He will become your home - he could become your home.
“If I walked out the door right now and never came back, would you try and stop me?” You aren’t angry about his shouting; you’re used to fire.
“No.”
“It would destroy the alliance. You could side with the Hightowers or simply just watch as they take my mother’s throne.”
“You could walk out that door, get on your dragon and never come back and I would keep my oath to the Queen.”
Gods he really is decent.
“Where would you go?” He asks like you haven’t just said you might run out on your marriage.
“Old Valyria.”
“You would die.”
“I would.”
“I’m not sorry for making things difficult for you but I acknowledge that I have.”
He smiles a bit woefully. “I wouldn’t expect anything less, princess.”
“Any woman in Westeros would consider herself lucky to be your wife.”
“Hmm… almost any it seems.”
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