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ithinkweallsing · 3 years

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Happy Birthday Remus

A/N- So I found out last night that it was Lupin’s birthday today (3/10) and that prompted me to bang this out at about 11 pm last night. Kind of a weird post after nothing for a month and kind of a shit post, but here it is, enjoy!

Summary- Remus wanted to forget that it was his birthday, but you and the Marauders had other ideas.

TW- mentions of food, and slight mentions of alcohol/cursing and self-confidence issues.

WC- about 2K

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“Y/n? I got the butter and the sugar, but I don’t know why we need it because I thought we got take-away.”

Remus’ eyes widened at the sight of his friends and family in your small home and he dropped the reusable canvas bag you insisted on using as he closed the door behind him. You stood in the front of everyone else with a slightly nervous smile.

“Surprise! Happy birthday Remus!” everyone shouted.

“We all wanted to celebrate together,” you said.

“Yeah mate, Y/n told us that you were going to do boring old take-away alone for your big 24, and me and ol’ Prongsie here thought, ‘Well that’s just unacceptable, Moony will not be letting his birthday pass quietly,’” Sirius said, giving Remus a glass of something that smelled far too strongly of liquor.

“So, we helped Y/n get you out of the house, and with the help of this bad boy,” James added, swinging his wand around, “we got the place in tip-top shape,” he finished, taking a swig from his own glass.

“I hope you don’t mind, they really wanted to celebrate with you,” You rushed to explain, “and I know that you wanted to keep it small this year but-”

“Thank you, y/n,” Remus cut you off, gently placing his hand in yours with a smile.

“Hey now, don’t forget about the rest of us mate,” James cut in with an indignant huff. Lily quickly swatted his head. “Oi Evans!” he complained, rubbing the back of his head. She responded with a shake of her head and a small, exasperated smile.

“Although there isn’t anything special about 24, I appreciate you doing this for me,” Remus said.

“Happy birthday Remus. Fair warning, they went a little overboard, you know how Sirius is with balloons,” Lily whispered, engulfing him in a hug.

You smiled and led Remus past your entryway into the living room. His eyes widened at the sight he was presented with.

Forest-green balloons with streamers trailing from them littered the ceiling, with bunches at every doorway and window. There were large bunches of flowers and greenery on the tables and most of the flat surfaces in your home. Light shone from the fire in the fireplace and the strings of lights draped around the room. It made your home look enchanting, like a scene from a fairy-tale. Soft music flowed from seemingly everywhere as his eyes took in the scene around him.

“Wow.”

“Right? Let me tell you those balloons, man. Every single one of them, Y/n showed me how to do it without the charm and I must say, it’s much better the muggle way, and your girl has got a pair of lungs mate,” Sirius said, nudging Remus.

You grinned in response. “Oh please, it wasn’t that bad, Sirius just doesn’t want to admit that he almost fainted 10 minutes into blowing them up”.

Sirius looked at you aghast. “How dare you, I told you that I was having allergies.”

James chuckled. “Sure, just keep telling yourself that mate.”

Everyone laughed and James and Lily started passing out glasses to the others as people started chatting and catching up among themselves.

Life had been hectic, and it’d been too long since everyone had gotten together. Soon the space was filled with voices and laughter as people conversed.

People came up to him with birthday wishes which he accepted graciously. Remus slid one hand around your waist and held you to his side, and his glass in the other. On your hip, he drew soothing circles as you mingled. You leaned into him as you talked with Alice, and him with Frank.

The table was full of various dishes that people brought. You hadn’t wanted Remus to feel awkward opening gifts, so instead you had opted for a potluck style; instead of gifts, people brought food. The mouth-watering smells from the table had you and Remus eagerly filling your plates, complimenting those that brought the delicious food.

“Ugh, I need to get that recipe from Alice, these are to die for,” you said, as you took a bite of roast potatoes with a hum of satisfaction.

Remus agreed, nodding with his mouth full of garlic bread. You couldn’t resist giving him a kiss on the cheek. He looked at you, swallowed and smiled. He started to say, “Y/n, I” when he got interrupted, or rather, distracted by something. You turned to see what caused Remus to stop mid-sentence and couldn’t help bursting out laughing. Sirius and James were half-dancing in the living room. Arms flailing and legs awkwardly bending, James looked like a drowning bird. Sirius jumped around, strangely on-beat with him.

“Oh god, I hope Lily sees this,” you said, laughing and tears running down your face.

Remus roared with laughter, half at their antics and half at your response. “Oh, I don’t think she’ll let either of them forget it for a long time,” he said with a shit-eating grin.

You eventually composed yourselves enough to finish your food and you took both of your plates to the sink to clean later. When you returned, Sirius and James were attempting to force Remus to dance with them.

He looked at them with uncertainty, then downing the rest of his drink, stood to follow them, but not before stepping back to peck your forehead.

“Go, I’m excited to see you dance Rem,” you said with a twinkle in your eye.

He followed James and Sirius to the makeshift dance floor, joining the small group gathered, and you watched fondly from your seat, sipping your drink.

Eventually, Lily and Marlene took you to the kitchen to prepare Remus’ last surprise.

Returning to your previously-occupied seat, Remus glanced around, wondering where you had disappeared to. He took a sip from a fresh drink and looked around for you, coming up empty-handed.

Suddenly, James and Sirius appeared around him again.

Sirius loudly banged the side of his glass with a spoon. “Attention everyone!” he shouted. “We just wanted to thank everyone for coming to Remus’ party and for all your contributions and we wanted everyone to personally help wish him happy birthday with-”

You and Lily came out balancing a massive chocolate cake, with ‘Happy Birthday Remus’ written on it in and 24, tiny, green birthday candles on the top.

James began slowly singing, “Happy birthday to you…”

Everyone joined in. “Happy birthday to you!”

“Happy birthday dear Remus.” He saw you sing softly, with a smile and furrowed brow on your face as you concentrate on moving the cake to the table.

“Happy birthday to you.” The song finishes with you and Lily placing the cake in front of him.

He thought for a second, what could he possibly wish for when everything he needed was standing in front of him, waiting with anticipation for him to blow out his rapidly-melting candles.

I wish that I can remember this, this moment, this family, and this feeling for the rest of my life, he thought to himself. He quickly blew out the candles and everyone cheered.

The cake was cut and passed around and there was a lull in conversation as people grabbed their cake and settled down.

“Y/n you made this?” James asked once everyone was seated on the floor with a piece of cake.

You chuckled at his incredulous look. “Yup, that was me, I can’t cook, but I have perfected this cake and that’s about it.”

Remus sighed in content. “You haven’t made this cake in so long I almost forgot how good it was”.

Gasping, you set your cake down dramatically. “Oh no, that’s a sign of a serious problem here. You’re already forgetting things,” you finished with a playful roll of your eyes.

Everyone laughed at your exchange, and Remus pulled you closer to him. There was a smudge of chocolate icing on the corner of his soft, pink lips and you couldn’t resist kissing the chocolate off.

“My eyes! At least wait until the party is over!” Sirius exclaimed, laughing as you flipped him off in response.

The rest of the night was spent talking, laughing, and enjoying the company of your friends.

At the end of the night, everyone else had left and James, Lily, and Sirius were just finishing saying their goodbyes, putting their coats on, and giving both of you one last tight hug. They ducked out and smiled as the door swung closed behind them.

You and Remus stood in the front hall with his arms wrapped around you as you stayed still in the after-party quiet. At some point, the music had changed to smooth jazz which now enveloped you as you embraced. Neither of you spoke; there was no need to.

Minutes, hours, later you reluctantly pulled away from him to begin cleaning up from the party. You cleared discarded plates and glasses, stacking them and with a wave of your wand as they began to wash themselves and organize neatly on the drainboard. Remus joined you and you worked in comfortable silence. There actually wasn’t much to do because Lily had insisted on doing most of towards the end of the night.

“Lily put that trash bag away, it can wait until later.”

“Y/n, I’m just going to do a quick sweep and pick up some of the rubbish for the bin.”

“I see that, and I told you to put it down. I’ll do it after the party, come on, lets go join the boys.”

She reluctantly put the bag away but waved her wand on the way out for the leftovers to tidy themselves and settle in the fridge.

Shortly after, you and Remus settled on the couch together, watching the dying fire. You cuddled into his side.

He tilted your head up to look at you. His gaze was adoring and soft.

“Thank you, Y/n, for this,” he murmured. “It wasn’t what I was expecting but I am so grateful that you did it.”

You smiled at him softly. “Of course, Rem - I hope you liked it. I know that you don’t like celebrating your birthday but-” You take a deep breath. “You deserve this and so much more. You deserve to enjoy and look forward to your birthday and celebrate with your friends, with me.”

You paused for a moment, just taking him in. The slight scars across the nose dusted with freckles. His piercing eyes that could never decide on one color to be. “I love you so much Rem, and I can’t wait for more birthdays and Christmas’ and everything in between with you,” you continued earnestly, eyes full of hope and love.

He looked at you with tears shining in his eyes. “I love you too y/n. You have given me more than I think I deserve.”

“I-”

“Please let me finish,” he said, cutting your protest short. He paused before saying, “Because of you, I have learned how to love and that I am worthy of your love, or any love. I don’t promise that I’ll believe it every day, but you make me want to try. You make me want to try and be more than what I think of myself on the full moon and you make me want to believe that I am more.” He took a deep breath and looked at you wearily, as if he were worried about how you would respond.

You didn’t want him to worry. There was nothing for him to worry about. Instead of responding, you wrapped your arms around his waist and crushed him to you, forcing the love that you felt into him without words. He returned the embrace just as tight, willing the same thing.

It truly was a happy birthday, Remus thought to himself.

_____

Taglist- @snapefiction @newa0810 @probably-peeves

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tros-for-dinner · 4 years

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[TROS re-write: in this version, the secret Finn has been keeping throughout the movie is that he doesn’t want to kill for the Resistance either, and he wants to save the stormtroopers. Poe remembers his failure in TLJ and his secret in this movie is he’s afraid he’s not a good leader and he’s going to mess up again. After freeing Rose (instead of Chewie) from the star destroyer, escaping by the skin of their teeth, and crash-landing the Falcon on Kef Bir (Endor’s moon, I had to look it up), the team meets the colony of escaped troopers and decide to spend the night recuperating.]

Poe finds Finn at a distance from the fire, staring at the flames without seeing them. Poe sits beside him on the bench, a strange apprehensiveness fluttering through him. He’s never seen Finn this withdrawn.

“What is it?” he asks quietly. His worry intensifies when Finn blinks back into the present, to Poe, then glances away. “We made it out okay,” Poe tries to reassure, making a stab in the dark. “We all made it out okay, Finn. You don’t have to keep worrying.”

Instead of replying, Finn sighs, heavily, and Poe is startled to see tears well up in his eyes. Automatically, he reaches out to grip Finn’s shoulder, try and provide some reassurance. Finn reaches up to grip Poe’s hand but still doesn’t look at him.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Poe implores. It hurts more than he could have imagined when Finn still doesn’t look or move to speak.

“Can I, though?” Finn finally says, almost too quietly to hear.

When Poe realizes what Finn said, his jaw drops and it’s on the tip of his tongue to retort - What is that supposed to mean?! - when a mirage of General Organa appears in his mind’s eye, glaring at him for being so undiplomatic in such a sensitive situation. He swallows down his retort and fishes at length for what he needs to say.

“All I know,” he eventually says carefully, “is that you need to talk to someone, and if you would be more comfortable talking to Rey, I will get up right now and get her.”

Finn sighs again, but it’s different. “No,” he says, and squeezes Poe’s hand, “you’re the one I need to talk to.”

Finn sighs again, shaking his head. “What do you remember…from Crait?”

There’s a lot of things he remembers from Crait, but before he can reply, Finn sighs again. “Rose said to me, after our failed bombing run, ‘we have to fight to save what we love’, instead of, you know, killing what we hate and…I’ve been thinking about that nearly every day.” He sighs and shifts in his seat to throw his head back and look up at the stars. “Have you ever talked to Rey about the Force?”

“Not really,” Poe says, trying to keep any negative emotions out of his voice. Religion isn’t really something he puts stock into, as a general rule, and it’s really unnerving to see objects move under unseen power when they’re supposed to be stationary.

“I don’t have the Force. Not like Rey does. But…” Finn trails off, visibly thinking. “The Force is like standing in a river: I can feel it pressing on me, swirling around me, but I can’t see the currents in the water.”

Poe blinks. “I thought you didn’t have the Force.”

Finn shakes his head. “I can’t control it like Rey can, but I can feel it. I always have but I didn’t know how to understand it.” For a very long moment, he doesn’t speak, then: “Getting Rose out, being on that Star Destroyer…I’d forgotten how bad it was but it all came rushing back.” Poe can see tears glimmering in his eyes again.

“How bad what was?” Poe asks, as gently as he can.

Finn shakes his head again, pressing his eyes shut. Tears run down down his cheeks, glinting in the firelight. “The air on the ship is just…unbearable. The misery. The…you’re surrounded by so many people but you’re so alone, all the time. They took everything from us: our names, our selves - and then our lives. They erased us so that only the armor remained. No one can live like that, and I can’t believe I’d forgotten how bad it was. I thought I was the only trooper that ever got out.”

“But you weren’t,” Poe anticipates, and Finn nods, somehow looking even more miserable than before. Poe doesn’t understand. “Buddy, you just gotta celebrate whatever wins we get! It’s great that Jannah and her group got out!”

Finn nods even as his face crumples. “You’re right,” he manages to get out, but then starts to cry in earnest. Poe throws caution into the wind and pulls Finn into an embrace; thankfully, Finn goes willingly and sobs into his shoulder, squeezing Poe tightly in his arms. Poe feels terrible - he’d been so upset Finn was keeping a secret from him just a few days ago. He had no idea Finn was holding on to something so heavy.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleads, so quietly that he knows only Finn can hear him, as his sorrow winds down and his grip lessens.

“I left the First Order because I didn’t want to kill for them,” Finn says, voice hoarse and cracking around unshed tears. “I can’t kill for the Rebellion, Poe. I can’t do it. I can’t…” he dissolves back into tears, and Poe rocks him like his mother used to even though he feels like Finn punched him in the stomach. Suddenly so much makes sense, and Poe feels terrible that he caused Finn to feel like this.

“It’s okay,” Finn manages to say, and it takes Poe a beat to realize he’s replying to Poe’s unspoken sentiment. “It took me a while to figure and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Finn, if you can’t tell your best bud something like this that’s eating you up, I’m doing a fairly crappy job,” he says, and that gets Finn to laugh a bit. “Okay, I’m taking you off gun duty, that’s no problem,” Poe says, even though that is a problem in the grand scheme of things. Maybe he can hook BB up to the gun on the Falcon - Rose and Finn said BB took over an AT-AT on the Star Destroyer to help them escape; bet that was a hell of a show…

Poe realizes that Finn has stopped crying but is now tense in his arms. Poe loosens his grip and Finn pulls away to arm’s length, not looking at Poe.

“That’s not everything,” Poe realizes, watching his reaction. When Finn doesn’t look at him, Poe takes hold of his shoulders and squeezes them gently, trying to hug him without pulling him close again. “Finn, whatever it is, I promise I’m not going to be angry. You are my best friend. I can’t help you until you tell me what you need.”

Finn doesn’t speak for a moment, then he exhales shakily. “I thought BB was your best friend,” he says, and it takes Poe a second to realize the non-sequitur is a joke.

He frowns at Finn even as a laugh is trying to bubble up. Jokes are a good sign. “BB may be adorable but best friend has been you for a while, buddy.”

Finn gives him a grateful - if watery - smile and reaches up to grip Poe’s hand on his shoulder. “I realized,” he says, looking down at his shoes, “when Rose briefed us on the condition of the fleet that taking down the control tower isolates the ships. While the number of ‘troopers has stayed the same, intelligence shows they’re going to skeleton crews as far as officers and command crew go. Isolating the ships from their neighbors would make sure that if something happened to the command crew, the ship would be dead in the water for as long as it took to get the command tower back online.”

Poe squints at him and has to search for a diplomatic response. “That’s the general plan, yes,” he manages to say without it being condescending, but Finn shakes his head.

“Poe,” he says, lifting his gaze to look at the man directly, “the full number of troopers is ten thousand on each star destroyer. Ten thousand troopers per ship, suffering cycle after cycle, and who knows how many looking for a way to escape. The Rebellion shoots them out of the sky without even offering surrender.”

Poe suddenly, viscerally understands what Finn is trying to say. “The command crew will never surrender,” his mouth says automatically even as his brain calculates the consequences of what Finn is implying, as if he was right back in the cockpit of his X-wing in the middle of a dogfight. It’s insane. It’s impossible. It’s something that has never been done before in the history of the Rebellion.

Finn looks him directly in the eyes and grips Poe’s shoulders in a mirroring gesture. “The command crew is outnumbered by troopers ten-to-one,” he says intently, not looking away even to blink. “Jannah told me today that the ‘troopers are still using the same private comm channels as before I got out. Poe,” he says, shaking the man in emphasis, “all we would have to do is cut the ship off, broadcast to the troopers, offer surrender, Poe…”

“How would we get the ‘troopers off the ship?” Poe asks, but he’s already calculated the answer. He closes his eyes. “If the troopers take over the ship, we won’t have to get them out. We just have to support them until we can get everything sorted out.”

Finn shakes him a little and Poe opens his eyes to look at him. “If only a few want to defect,” Finn says quietly, “there are drop-ships they can take out. But I was thinking something more ambitious.”

Poe raises his eyebrows incredulously, unable to verbalize the question. Finn looks right at him, a sort of steely determination mixed with palpable fear. “Me and Rey could break into the command center and force them to surrender.”

Poe’s hands, still on Finn’s shoulders, unconsciously tighten grip. His mind is blank. “That’s…” he manages to speak, but can’t go on. Suicide! his mind shouts but he can’t force himself to say.

Finn’s eyes are pleading, now. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” he whispers. “I know there’s so much risk. Poe, before you and I got out, I was a model trooper. I never even questioned the system, I just did what they told me. But the Force brought us together and you got me out, and now it’s time for me to pay it forward. If I could save just one of them, all of this would be worth it, but we have the opportunity to save all of them.” The firelight flickers against the tears in Finn’s eyes. “Poe, I am going to do this, whether you help me or not.”

Poe feels - like gravity has somehow been inverted, maybe. Or he mistook zeroes for ones, or confused some of the switches in his cockpit. The plan Finn is suggesting goes against everything he’s been taught since he joined the war but………

Gazing at Finn’s earnest face, while sitting in a village of rebel Stormtroopers, Finn’s plan feels overwhelmingly right. It feels right in a way that nothing has since the Resistance fled D’Qar, since his failure decimated the Resistance, since the remainder escaped Crait with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the fires in their souls. Poe can almost see the battle plan in his mind’s eye like he read it out of a book: the Resistance’s remaining pilots will do everything they can to distract the command crew while Finn and his team take down the tower and broadcast the revolution to the ‘troopers. If they can get just one star destroyer to surrender, it would turn the tide. If they can get just a few drop-ships of defected troopers, it’ll strike a blow. We are the spark of hope that will light the fire…

“Yeah,” Poe says, squeezing Finn’s shoulders to convey his seriousness, nodding slowly at first, then more emphatically as his mind grows used to it, “yeah, I’m in.”

Hope dawns across Finn’s face, growing into amazement.

“I’ll help you,” Poe says, and can’t stand it anymore - he pulls Finn in close and hugs him as hard as he can. Finn doesn’t hesitate to hug back, burying his face into Poe’s shoulder. Tears spring into Poe’s eyes and then he’s laughing and crying all at once. Finn starts to shake, then they’re laughing and crying together, holding on to each other as tightly as they possibly can.

“You promise to tell me next time you get an idea like this in your head?” Poe asks, buoyant with fear and hope and love, overflowing with it.

“I promise,” Finn answers, and hugs him even tighter.

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