#she's actually more like rey but rey is also Literally luke so

[demobatman]

twins in love with emotionally closed off character who has a problem with authority... now where have i heard this one before

#whats yalls favorite star wars mines revenge of the sith #anakin n obi wan 4 life #this is just a sketch go easy on me #'why isnt el leia' bc shes got jedi mindtricks Fucker #dont ask me ask the duffers she literally luke #she's actually more like rey but rey is also Literally luke so #who cares its my art #my art #stranger things #stranger things fanart #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #jane hopper #eleven #byler #star wars #for funsies #wonder twins

[stealingpotatoes]

In your Luke Raises Rey au, does Leia ever forgive her father? (Also anakin saying he still loves Leia after she says she isn't calling him Dad is incredibly sweet.)

Also does Ben ever actually fully turn to the dark side? I think it would be super interesting to see a lightsaber fight Between him and Rey when he tries to take down Luke's training.

have so many questions haha.

haha u opened a can of worms here bc i LOVE talking abt leia and her super complicated family feelings and grief and whatnot <3 <3 <3

I think forgive's a very strong word to use around anivader loll -- ESPECIALLY with leia. i mean. he literally tried to torture her and was semi-responsible in the genocide of her planet (and genocide of her other ppl, if she started identifying w the jedi!) and countless other crimes like he's done some Heinous shit (and not even in the anakin's fun sexy warcrimes way just the straight up evil warcrimes) and they're not the kinda actions you forgive.

but forgiveness isn't the only path forward! I do think she makes peace w him -- or more what he is and what he is to her. like yes, he was her birth father but no that doesn't change anything about her, she's not evil, she can still be luke's sister without having the same relationship to their heritage. bail organa's still her actual father in every way that matters and she realises nothing about anivader's existence can change that

she can't go full jedi and let go of all the anger in her heart -- she's not luke, she can't make that ultimate peace or find any good in vader -- but I do think she does manage to let go of enough anger that she's not holding that unhealthy burning hate in her chest 24/7. it can't help her now; he's dead. so yeah, its not forgiveness, but it's something

and i think the skywalkers deserve nice things so no, Ben's not going evil or trying to obliterate the academy!! let the poor jedi live!!!!!! he's just a bit of an emo with very questionable taste in men. the knights of ren is just his space discord server or smthn

#sorry idk if this makes any sense but the gist is: no she cant forgive him but she can still move forward without the total anger #tbh idk if luke 'forgives' vader in the strictest sense of the word either #he's just got a very different situation to leia bc he had an aunt and uncle and this ghost of a father his whole life so there was a Gap #and between that and luke's general hope/abiltity to find the good his making peace looks a lot more like forgiving #thanks for the ask! #it's a nice idea that she could and they'd all be a family but while anakin/vader is one of my top faves of all time #i can't woobify him like that and say 'yeah hes fine! leia could forgive him!!' nah nah #he did too much to be forgiven loll even if she can understand that he was semi-manipulated to the dark #he still did all that evil and saving luke doesnt make up for that

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

You might have to be more specific than that. Most of what we see done with the Force is perfectly normal, like being able to block blaster bolts with a lightsaber and stuff, so I guess I'll try to hit on some of the bigger more controversial uses of the Force and see if these answer your questions. Keep in mind that the Force is generally a pretty SOFT magic system and while there are definitely some guidelines to it, there's a lot you can get away with via "rule of cool" here.

Somehow Palpatine returned: Arguably Palpatine living is actually perfectly within canon given that we have examples of Sith characters living through shit that should've killed them, most obviously Maul (something done by Lucas himself so we can't just blame it all on Disney bringing characters back). But within Disney canon there's also the Grand Inquisitor and Reva who both live through injuries that seem like they should've killed them by utilizing the dark side to sustain them. So Palpatine living is actually perfectly do-able within canon in terms of "how the Force works", regardless of how stupid it was NARRATIVELY and how annoying I find the trend in general.

Luke's Force projection: This doesn't seem like that weird to me, it's definitely NEW and not something we saw anybody else doing in prior films, but it's also not something anyone else would've truly benefited much from and given that it kills Luke almost immediately afterward, it's clearly a VERY last resort option and only really useful as a distraction anyway. It's not that far off of the whole Force Ghost idea to me and sort-of draws on the idea that the Jedi are empaths to some degree, so I'm not too fussed about this. It's fun and I appreciate all the clues about what's happening that are THERE if you look for them but not necessarily super obvious before the reveal.

Leia saving herself from the vacuum of space: I don't dislike this one either, actually. Leia's got a couple of seconds or so in which she can react to a warning from the Force somehow and while we don't see any other Jedi actively fighting in space without a suit or anything, we DO see Plo Koon fighting in space with nothing but his air mask which should still kill him and somehow doesn't, so it's not like Leia surviving this is completely out of the realm of possibility to me. Besides, it's the first super explicit use of the Force Leia got in the films and pissed off a lot of crybaby fanboys who were convinced Leia wasn't Force sensitive, so I'm willing to give it a lot of grace for that alone.

The Force dyad: I actually don't have an issue with the mechanics of the dyad and more have an issue with the way it's utilized in the narrative. Personally, I find it a little silly that some sort of extra special Force connection would exist between two people at THIS point in time and not like... when a literal child of prophecy was alive. If I was going to believe there was a special Force connection between ANYBODY, it would've been Anakin/Obi-Wan (narratively foiled anyway and involves a child of prophecy) or Luke/Leia (twin children of the child of prophecy separated at birth for their own safety). And of course, if it HAD to be in the Sequel trilogy for whatever reason, we all know it should've been Finnrey, for a MULTITUDE of reasons. The other issue I have with the dyad is that they change it from Snoke creating it specifically to mess with Kylo in TLJ to their connection being some sort of special prophecized thing by TROS, so it's not even clear in the narrative what precisely the damn thing even IS or why Rey and Kylo even HAVE IT because the stupid directors and studio execs couldn't agree on it I guess.

Force healing: I know some people have major issues with this one and I get why, but it honestly doesn't bother me that much. TROS explains it as being a byproduct of the dyad anyway, something ONLY these people can do because being connected the way they are allows them to access powers no one else could. It's one of the ways I think the dyad DOES work in the sense that if they're going to give these two characters this special connection then hey fuck it why not use it to let them have a special Force power a lot of fans want to see but that wouldn't really make sense in any other context? I'm obviously NOT a huge fan of "Force healing resurrection via True Love's Kiss" or whatever, but the general concept of Force healing coming from the dyad works fine for me. It's a little heavy handed and on the nose, but... it's fine.

Leia saving Kylo through... "Force whammy"?: This is the big one I hate, this is the one I cannot STAND. If Sith/Dark siders could just be Force whammied into not being evil anymore, WHY DID NOBODY DO THIS TO ANAKIN. Why isn't Obi-Wan trying this from Tatooine, why doesn't Ahsoka try this, why doesn't Yoda or Luke try this? Yes, it kills Leia to do it, but if it whammies Anakin away from being dark and turns him against the Emperor earlier, WHY NOT DO IT. And where would Leia have even LEARNED HOW TO DO THIS, why did she WAIT so long to do it if she knew how this whole time? But the biggest reason I hate this is because it fucks up the entire theme of Star Wars which is CHOICE. If the Sith and Darksiders can just be Force whammied into goodness again, it takes away the CHOICE they need to make to be good. It's SO SO VITALLY IMPORTANT that these characters CHOOSE TO BE GOOD AGAIN if that's the path they're going to go down. It's important that they chose to evil and it's important that they choose to be good again. A Force whammy isn't a fucking choice, it's Leia just... jumpstarting Kylo's brain or whatever. It's just wiping out the things causing him to be evil I guess so that it's just no longer a problem. It's cheating, it's STUPID. And if they'd gone with the idea that Kylo was genuinely being like mind-controlled by Snoke into doing the things he's doing and that none of this WAS his choice and so the Force whammy allows him to finally make his own choices again, that would be one thing, but both TFA and TLJ emphasize that this isn't the case, Kylo is MAKING THESE CHOICES ON HIS OWN and continues to make them no matter how many people offer him another chance to do better. It doesn't matter if it's his father or Rey or Luke, Kylo just KEEPS MAKING THE SAME CHOICES, even after Snoke is dead. A Force whammy should do NOTHING to Kylo because he's not being controlled and it takes away the entire point of Kylo's story being that he CHOSE TO BE EVIL and that he, unlike Anakin, cannot just be saved by love alone. This one stinks, this isn't how the Force works, and it's not how this narrative works.

The only other controversial thing I could think of was how quickly Rey learns to do things, but that's not so much a matter of "how the Force works" because everything she does is pretty basic Force skills like telepathy, telekinesis, and mind tricks.

#star wars #sequel trilogy #the force #sheev palpatine #luke skywalker #leia organa #rey skywalker #anti kylo ren #kylo ren critical #anti kylo #kylo critical #anti reylo #reylo critical #anti ben solo #ben solo critical

[starpeace]

omg i've always wanted to ask you about lightsaber forms specifically what forms you think characters like luke, leia, rey and finn would master/specialize in? (also me 🤝 you specific lightsaber lore questions)

HIIIII okay okay

luke: i think in legends he used form v djem so, because he was literally picking up style from vader as he fought him. a weird kind of inheritance haha. i would say the shien variant of form v is a little more suited to luke than djem so, since it’s for use against blaster-wielding opponents e.g. stormtroopers, so it would be interesting for him to make that slight alteration to what he learned from vader. he probably has form iii soresu and form iv ataru elements to his style, from obi-wan and yoda. i would actually love to see him pick up form ii makashi because i think learning that elegance and control would be good for him and it’s such a traditional form so a nice way to connect to the old order. honestly i am a “luke is an expert who rediscovers and restores all the forms as much as he can” truther

leia: oughhhh... personality wise i think leia is very suited to form iv ataru but that very much relies on constant force use, which i don’t think leia would want to rely on. honestly i think that as luke’s first student, she would be likely to pick up form v djem so/shien, as it’s a very practical form and the thing he’s most sure on. she would like the part where you use your enemy’s strength against them. honestly this is just how skywalkers are. can’t keep ’em away from form v

rey: a mix of form iii soresu and form vii juyo/vaapad! these both come very naturally to her. form iii is a defensive, survival-focused style and form vii is powerful and unpredictable. i need to look up more lore for form vii, but it’s more of a mindset than a form, where you use intensive focus to sort of channel your inner darkness and your opponent’s fury? it’s a dark side technique without actually being of the dark side yourself and it’s (i hc) basically what she’s already doing on starkiller base

finn: you know i am a jar’kai finn truther. somebody give that boy two lightsabers immediately. anyway i think he would use form iv ataru because he’s so powerful with the force (in my brain at least) that it just makes sense to be using it constantly in combat. also i want him to do sick backflips

#THIS IS SO LONG BUT I HAVE A LOT TO SAY #anyway so true parker we are the keepers of the lore #finn #rey skywalker #luke skywalker #leia organa

[ultralaser]

anyways so also i'm still thinking about that mary sue jackass on twitter whining about rey still bc the complaint is always 'rey beats kylo ren easily out of nowhere' and that is just fundamentally not what happens in that movie

-- one of the first things we see rey do is absolutely demolish a bunch of guys on jakku, so we know she can fight

-- one of the first things she does in the saber fight with kylo ren is echo her staff fighting motions and try to lunge at him, but she doesn't have the same range w the saber

-- so she holds her own defensively but is literally on the run and ends up pinned between ren and a sudden cliff edge as a crevasse opens up

-- she doesn't actually turn the battle against ren until she

wait for it

USES THE FORCE

(which is exactly what LUKE did!)

also that whole fight kylo ren is literally dying after being gut-shot, bc chewie blasted him with his fkn bowcaster, which is ALSO set-up earlier as being strong enough to send dudes FLYING after a hit

so kylo ren took a GRENADE to the stomach and STILL nearly won that fight!

just absolutely no reading comprehension at all, it's almost like they haven't seen the film more than once and remember it wrong, or are deliberately or unconsciously lying about to serve a reactionary agenda, and it doesn't matter how rey won but rather THAT she won, at all

the only actual mary sue in that movie is kylo ren

the only other mary sue in that movie is poe dameron

#star wars #tfa #rey #kylo ren #mary sue #seriously poe dameron is the mariest sue ever to mary sue #he was supposed to die in the crash but they cast oscar isaac so they just brought him back anyways #they never even explain it he's literally just 'i escaped somehow' #in the air battle over maz's castle he takes out like literally seven tie fighters in one shot #dude is CLEARLY FORCE SENSITIVE #SO IS FINN #give them both lightsabers in episode ten #resurrect ben solo and let him be zeta char #the team asshole who never takes off his sunglasses and tried to kill everyone else a few years ago but we have common goals now

[mystarwarsmatters]

The more I think about it, the worse Disney Wars world-building gets.

I loved TFA when it initially came out, so much that I saw it 3x because of what it promised, but looking back it’s just an unsteady mess. The fact that the movies following it don’t explain anything definitely doesn’t help, but we literally get nothing about how the First Order came to power or their relation to the New Republic beyond Starkiller Base blowing up its main planets.

How the hell were they able to make a bigger Death Star while the republic existed? Who was funding the First Order this whole time? Who started it? Why did the FO use stormtroopers like the Empire? If they had to rely on stealing kids instead of clones or conscripting troops then how does ranking work? Was Hux stolen as a child but managed to be put into a position of power at a relatively young age regardless? By who if so? Snoke? How???

Why did Leia have to become a general at the head of this resistance? Was she a chancellor-figure beforehand and then she stepped down to fight when no one else would? Why? She could do more as a figurehead with actual power in front of the galaxy instead of doing grunt-work in comparison, so what was her being on the frontlines supposed to accomplish?

How can the Jedi become a myth in 30 years or less? When did Luke start Jedi training? It was speculated that Luke took kids to train (cringe) but they were all murdered by the Knights of Ren and Kylo when Kylo was 15? Or older? Why would it take so long for Luke to start training new Jedi? I know it would probably take years after ROTJ but not that many years? Why would that be enough to make Luke retreat to an island on an isolated planet?

Did Luke know that Han and Leia separated? It seems like everything went to hell once Kylo destroyed the budding Jedi and that’s what made Han and Leia split, but then Luke also fucked off completely at the same time??? Did Lando know? Did any of these friends keep in touch with one another?? Why did Chewie never go home to Kashyyyk once the empire was destroyed???

Why is Jakku a place for imperial junk?? Why would Rey have a doll with an Orange flight suit like Luke’s in the OT? How did she learn to fly when she’s never been off-planet or left her dwelling for like 15 years?? How could Poe be thrown from a crash site and survive? Why was R2 asleep this whole time?? Did Kylo and Finn have any relationship whatsoever??? How did Finn and Rey know what Jedi were when their childhoods were so isolated?? WHY DID THREEPIO HAVE A RED ARM AND WHY DID IT MATTER??????

#anti disney star wars #long post #I know we get ‘explanations’ for some of this later but none of it was planned #so I’m just asking about TFA #things just fucking happen

[shrinkthisviolet]

hellooooo, A, C and T for the ask game please :)

A: Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Oooh ok ok well, to start off with romantic:

Westallen, Snowest, Barrisco, Westhallen, Barriscowest, Snowstorm, Percabeth, Kataang, Maiko, Bumizumi, Shirbert, Samguel, Torisha, Narumitsu/Wrightworth, Franmaya, Klapollo, Junithena, Tedbecca, Roykeeley, Finnrey, Finnpoe, Reyrose, Jedistormpilot, ElizaDarcy (idk their ship name 😅), Kathony, Lukemara, Hanleia, PeterMJ/Spideychelle, Parksbornson

Keep in mind that these aren't all the ships I like, just the ones I love! Ex: Snowestallen is a cute ship, but it's a "like" ship, not a "love" ship. And these can always change tbh (they have, over the years), though usually this is what they are

Now for platonic (and I'm including brotps of my own making because I make the rules). Somewhat ranked but also not really:

Barry & Morgan (ofc), Jesse & Morgan, Lucy & Luke, Tina & Morgan, Lucy & Astra, Team Flash (Barry, Cisco, Caitlin, Iris, + Harry when he’s around), Barry & Cisco, Original Quartet (Luke, Leia, Han, Lucy), the Gaang (Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Zuko, Suki), Iroh & Zuko, Izumi & Zuko, Izumi & Mai & Zuko, Bumi & Aang & Katara, Caitlin & Morgan, Morgan & Cisco, Rey & Luke, Sam & Tory & Aisha, Sam & Robby, Daniel & Johnny (when they’re not being idiots), Amanda & Carmen, Anne & Diana, Anne & Josephine Barry, Peter & Ned & MJ, Phoenix & Maya, Apollo & Trucy, Athena & Apollo, Athena & Blackquill

There’s also Morgan & James, who are currently a ship but become platonic. Idk where to put that so I’m just making it its own category. And Morgan & Thawne are so interesting but in no way a brotp

This list isn’t exhaustive, but I got most of them, I think! It’s hard because I love so many more brotps than ships 😅

C: A ship you have never liked and probably never will

Gonna try censoring this one a little more than my previous “ships I don’t like” answer, so it hopefully doesn’t pop up in any tags…but if it does, I’ve heard putting a # in front of the search term can keep it out:

Sn0wb@rry. The origins of that ship just puts me off too much, I can’t ship it in any capacity (and tbh they both have better love interests, even if poor Caitlin doesn’t have a good love interest post-s1)

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Doesn’t everyone? 😂 to name a few:

—Sam, Aisha, Demetri, and Eli were all childhood friends (the “Nerd Quartet”)

—Barry loves comics because of his mom, and that’s part of his motivation to be a superhero (comics canon! Headcanon in DCTV/Arrowverse)

—Ned’s the first one to figure Peter out, when they do their special handshake

—When they were supposed to be asleep, Iris used to sneak into Barry’s room, and they turned his bed into a mini pillow-fort 😂

—Barry’s Flashpoint adventure ~did~ change Caitlin’s past and give her powers—I’ll die on this hill, it’s the only way things make some amount of sense (and it’s no more ridiculous than the OTHER Flashpoint changes)

—Thawne was actually lying in s4 when he said he “hated every minute of [being Harrison Wells]”. Because literally wtf was THAT, writers??

—Maiko had two weddings: one for their close friends, and one for the Fire Nation. They were the first of the Gaang to get married…though they didn’t have Izumi until after Kataang got married. They wanted most of the “so, when are you having kids?” bs to die down first

—Lando introduced Luke (and Lucy) to hot chocolate, and Luke and Lucy love it 💞 (Legends canon I believe…tho ofc not Lucy since she’s not canon. In proper canon tho, this is just a headcanon)

—Barry makes the best hot chocolate ever

—Iris can bake better than she cooks…tho she gets easily distracted, hence the burnt/lumpy pancakes sometimes 😅 still, I gotta believe someone brownie-obsessed can make good brownies

—Finn is a legend among his former stormtroopers…as an enemy to some, as an inspiration to others

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, tho there might be more!

ask game!

#i would’ve also put savitar & morgan but that would make no sense to anyone but me 😅 #ask game

[leresq]

Rewatching the Sequels; some notes

The sequels do a good job of showing how brutal the First Order is in a way the original trilogy never showed. These are supposed to be space not-sees and the sequels were the first to display their cruelty

Watch the Stormtrooper Paradox on YouTube, it explains my shared gripe of the idea that First Order stormtroopers are child soldiers being brushed off.

Kylo Ren is cool idgaf what anyone says. Phasma is cool. Hux is cool. Pryce is cool. The Praetorian Guard are cool. If you disregard everything else about Snoke he's cool. Btw they wasted Smoke, it would have taken one writers' meeting to come up with something better.

I didn't like how the Mandalorian just took Baby Yoda out of the plot line I thought wrapped everything up nicely but now I realise if Baby Yoda stayed with Luke then the implication is Ren killed him so nvm :)

Dave Filoni's work is really helping bridge the gap between the original and sequel trilogies

The battle of Crait although just a rehash of Empire Strikes Back is too cool to discount

The fact that Poe, Finn, and Rose's plan was the reason nearly half of the transports heading to Crait were destroyed was really interesting. If they hadn't separated they wouldn't have met DJ, and DJ wouldn't have told the First Order the plan. I wish they'd have given some guilt to the characters tho.

Holdo's sacrifice is super cool but I'm not sure about the scientifics of it all.

Being in the way of that battering ram should have given Finn some nasty burns at the very least, it was melting through metal.

Are Force projections mental or visual?? Because Ben and Rey could see each other but I don't think Luke saw Ben in the hut, which means it would have to be mental. Also C3PO saw the projection..? Palpatine had to be connecting Rey and Ben, not Snoke. If someone as powerful as Luke died by projecting himself, then there's no way Snoke would have had the power to connect two entirely different people.

Kylo Ren should have seen that the projection was fake because Luke has his lightsaber, which he snapped in half just thirty minutes ago. It could be miswritten, but I see it as Ren being so enraged that he didn't notice.

I wish they wouldn't have killed Luke, but I thought they did it right. I cried rewatching it, and I've seen the movie three times before this.

"Snoke trained you well." "I killed Snoke. I'll kill you." "You killed Snoke? Damn that's a shame, well good thing I got a jar of them right here!"

I don't mind force healing and blaster freezing, I just wish they'd tuck it into the story more neatly.

They did Rose dirty in ROS

I know Jakku already existed in legends, but Pasaana could have easily been Jakku or Tattooine.

Was the C3PO disrespect supposed to be funny? It wasn't.

Zorii should have died, her surviving literally served no purpose to the story, in fact he death would have served it better.

Domhnall Gleeson's acting is some of the best I've seen in Star Wars.

Rey Palpatine is stupid. It would have been nicer if Rey was just a nobody who became special because of her actions and determination, not bloodline.

Kylo Ren being stabbed by Rey and surviving actually makes sense because I can imagine the wound would be cauterised long enough for Rey to heal it

I think it would have been a satisfactory end if Rey and Ben Solo died

Some people are Finn x Rey, some people are Finn x Rose, we all know the truth is Finn x Poe

It's a shame Daisy Ridley's career hasn't had much luck, she's a good actor.

Rey should have said "Just Rey" in response to the old woman. She's taking agency of her own identity and not letting it be based off what other people tell her. She's not a Solo, she's not a Skywalker, she's not a Palpatine, she's her own person now.

The sequels just seem like they would have been better written by someone on AO3. They're not abysmally terrible, it's just hard to look past their shortcomings. The music, acting, and animation are the best parts.

#star wars #star wars sequels #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker

[lesbianrobin]

do you have any star wars opinion u would like to share omg i love hearing ur stranger things opinions and you are so right about them i think it’d be fun to hear your star wars ones. even if you’re not really into star wars like it’d still be funny i think.

+ also my sister has a heart-shaped mini waffle maker and it’s so cute😭🫶🏻 we used to have a waffle maker that got a full clover like 4 hearts that we would separate when we were little. fun tangent to get into but my mom has a Thing for bakery apparel she literally bought so many waffle makers over the course of her life. like i’m saying this for the years i can remember we’ve got at least 6 “new” ones.

(also last thing i promise just wanted to let you know on your ask box title is too long on mobile you can only see the beginning and end with suspension dots in the middle. like you can guess what it says but yeah😭)

ok first of all im so sorry for taking so long but anyway HI i fixed my ask box title thank you for letting me know <3 and omg i have so many star wars opinions idk where to start so i'll just drop some random ones. SPOILERS FOR LIKE THE WHOLE STAR WARS FRANCHISE HERE WARNING.

basically every modern use of luke skywalker in star wars is ooc as fuck. like the luke of the original trilogy just straight up is not the same guy as the luke of the sequel trilogy or the mandalorian. he got bodysnatched at some point.

the prequels are bad like genuinely all three of them are so bad not only as star wars movies but as films in general. if you still enjoy them like sure have fun yknow i liked parts of them but when people try to argue that they're Good Actually that is insane.

rogue one is the best star wars movie outside of the original trilogy. like no contest. it doesn't try to rely on nostalgia or cgi or obvious parallels to the og trilogy, it just tells a story!! this is gonna sound silly but it's good because it's like. an actual movie. the characters of rogue one (ignoring andor which occurred after the fact for reasons that i cannot explain) are generally confined to rogue one and die at the end, meaning that the film was forced to tell a complete story and get the audience emotionally invested enough for the film's ending to feel significant and powerful. which is what a new hope did. because it had to be a good movie in order for there to be more movies in order to make star wars a thing. yknow. anyway.

the force awakens is actually pretty solid as the intended foundation for a new trilogy with new lovable characters and an inspirational story etc but after that kylo ren's whole existence just derailed the sequels as a whole and luke's characterization was so painful i just couldn't stand it. finn should have been the lead of the new trilogy with rey and poe as his leia and han but well. it was probably racism. like i'm not involved personally idk exactly what went down but i think people were just racist.

poe suddenly gaining a shady backstory that runs counter to the everything about him in the force awakens? also probably racist.

also everyone that wants to fuck kylo ren is going to hell no exceptions. sorry to my ex roommate carrie i love her but she's going down. also everyone who ships reylo or reads those tiktok books that are just reylo fic with the names changed? they're going to superhell.

the mandalorian is incredibly competent and entertaining as a show like separate from star wars as a franchise and i think the show is at its best when its engagement with existing characters like luke and ahsoka is extremely limited. not everything has to be about the skywalkers. like star wars is about a whole Galaxy and yet sometimes it feels like it's about a single fucking neighborhood the way the same bitches keep popping up everywhere across all media.

on that note i adore star wars jedi: fallen order and i think one of its greatest strengths is its use of original characters and avoidance of existing ones. like i may be wrong but i'm pretty sure the only character in fallen order that we knew Before fallen order was darth vader and i think that works really well! you go the whole game encountering new villains and allies and planets and stories and then suddenly it's like Oh Holy Shit That's Darth Fucking Vader. it's scary!! it's shocking!!! it's exciting and satisfying!!!! i just love that game so much sorry. cal kestis is my baby and i'm amped about jedi: survivor but i'm also so scared they will ruin him somehow. everybody please pray for my boy.

i'm gonna stop now but i think a lot of my opinions just kinda boil down to like. star wars should not be the mcu. i'm not against spinoffs entirely, i Adore the mandalorian and jedi: fallen order even more than i like the original trilogy, but things really don't need to overlap so much! using cgi carrie fisher for a single scene in rogue one made sense. using cgi luke skywalker for multiple episodes in the mandalorian is just dumb. the way they literally resolved the main plotline of the mandalorian in the boba fett show is ridiculous. star wars is fun and exciting and inspiring and disney sucks and i just hope that the mcu model becomes financially detrimental to them somehow and they pull it back soon.

#asks #em talks #star wars

[thebirdandhersong]

1. THINGS THAT WERE BEAUTIFUL AND GOOD:

STUNNING cinematography. The red on white in the battle scene was quite striking.

I thought Finn and Rose being arrested for parking violations was the funniest part of the story

Rey finally gets told to her face that she IS projecting her desire for family on older mentor figures. Will the story do anything with this? Probably not, but it was good for her to have that revelation.

the fact that “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to” (Kylo's line) is deconstructed and proven wrong again and again. The past is not dead and he is unable to kill it--much to his own chagrin. (Figurative and literal.)

the stable boys and stable girls on the casino planet. Especially the scene at the end where the Force-sensitive little boy looks to the stars and holds his broom like a lightsaber. THAT scene was one of the few that really felt like it belonged to Star Wars.

BB8 is always a delight

“The greatest teacher, failure is”

the parts that are actually FUN. Like Yoda giggling and swinging his legs. Like the jail guy (well, at the beginning, anyhow).

Leia is a sort of mother and mentor figure to Rey and Poe, which was really heartwarming to me

Luke kissing Leia on her forehead; Leia’s first words to Luke since her son went bonkers being, “I know what you’re going to say. I changed my hair” and Luke saying that it looked nice this way (these were very sweet scenes and there should've been more Skywalker sibling moments)

2. THINGS THAT WERE UNNECESSARY AND ANNOYING:

too much CG, not enough practical effects

(licks finger) "it's SALT!"

Luke Skywalker's character and everything the plot did with it

the flatness of the characters I thought would be central to the story, namely Finn and Poe

the script. The SCRIPT. The actors carry it. They're such good actors (Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, and Domnhall Gleeson in particular stood out to me here) but they're given so little to work with, which felt like such a waste.

some incredibly bizarre lines that took me straight out of the story (such as Rose's line about the 'lousy beautiful town'

the costume and hair design. Holdo and Rey in particular were quite bizarre to me, as was most of the hair decisions for Rose. I will say prop design was very well done at certain points, though

this is a movie that a lot of children went to see. On account of Star Wars being a franchise that is partially targeted towards a certain audience, who are the main consumers behind SW merchandise and toys, etc. etc. I think this is plenty reason for there NOT to be profanity.

this is also personal preference but I think that shirtless scenes should be killed with fire

Rey is presented in certain scenes as stronger and more impressive than Luke and always surprises him or has the upper hand. This is irritating and does not endear her to the audience in any way. This felt like a different application of killing the past, which I thought was poorly done and a bit disrespectful.

the Finn/Rose romance, which is so uneven and badly delivered. It could've been developed in a believable and organic way. Or they could've kept them as good friends (as Finn grows to appreciate Rose's bravery and gentleness, and Rose starts to see Finn as a human rather than a hero). But this weird middle ground didn't really accomplish anything.

Did I like this movie? Not by a long shot. I was so fed up by the end that I was ready to give up on Star Wars entirely. The last time I felt that level of Kylo Ren-esque rage was after I watched Multiverse of Madness.

But did it make me think? Yes, quite a bit. Mostly about what I didn't like about this movie, but also about what DOES constitute a good, beautiful, meaningful story.

#multiverse of madness made me SO mad that i just never bothered to talk to anyone about it #because the other people who watched it liked it pretty well and i didn't want to be a spewing volcano of rage #tlj liveblog

[phoenixkaptain]

The most confusing part of the sequel trilogy to me has always been the whole debacle of Rey’s parentage. For one because I think it would have been cool if she was Luke’s daughter and even now I’m like “couldn’t he have adopted her? Come on, let Luke be a dad…”

But also because it makes no sense??? They gave it this whole idea of it being weird that Rey wouldn’t be related to notable people, like that she had to be related to someone famous to be a powerful Jedi and that’s just not how the Force works!

Anakin Skywalker is literally the exception and not an exception to this rule because while yes, he is the Force’s kid, he is also Shmi Skywalker’s kid and does anyone know who the fuck Shmi Skywalker is??? Is Shmi Skywalker famous??? Is Shmi Skywalker a powerful Jedi???

You don’t need to be a powerful Jedi to give birth to a powerful Jedi, look at literally every single Jedi that was presented to us in the prequels, we literally don’t know ANY of their parents!!! Mace Windu isn’t related to a powerful Jedi that we know of! Yoda isn’t related to a Sith lord! Why does it matter that Rey’s parents were “nobody” like yeah bitch that’s every single Jedi ever.

Just because Anakin fucked around and had kids that doesn’t make him normal! And I feel like a strong case could be made that Anakin’s kids are strong because they’re the Force’s grandkids, not particularly because they were a Jedi’s kids, you know?

I just don’t understand! Why was it a big deal? Why did they have to make her related to Palpatine? Why did they have to make her related to anyone? Either make it the literal only option that makes sense (Luke) or cut it entirely! Yoda was powerful as fuck, he didn’t have to prove his parentage! Obi-Wan Kenobi was the best, and he didn’t have to prove to anyone anything! How come Rey has to be related to someone for her powers to make sense? Why can’t she just be weirdly powerful because goddamn the Force sometimes makes random people weirdly powerful? Why’s there got to be a reason?? Is Jedi power passed on by fucking nepotism in the sequel trilogy???

There are countless Jedi I could name that were powerful despite being related to fucking nobodies, why does it matter if Rey is the same way? And don’t say “well she’s the protagonist-“ because Obi-Wan is the protagonist of the prequels and we never have to have a big reveal about his grandma being a sith lord, so what gives??

But also there’s that line where someone asks Rey for her name or whatever and they don’t just accept “Rey” as an answer. People in Star Wars sometimes don’t have last names, what the fuck are they supposed to say?? Why the fuck do they need last names, they are weird fucking aliens they don’t need family names, what fucking sense does it make to force every character to have a last name?? Is Yaddle a fucking noob because she’s second-name-less? Would Chewbacca have been questioned? Why does Rey have to have a last name when she could just fucking not and live a perfectly happy life??

What the actual fuck is up with parentage in sequel Star Wars lore??? Leia was adopted by Bail Organa and Bail and Breha Organa both raised her therefore they are her parents. Owen and Beru both raised Luke, but we can assume they felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea of Luke calling them his parents. That doesn’t mean they raised him any less, obviously, Beru just didn’t have to be called “mom” to know she was raising a kid. Does parentage really actually matter though? Luke wanted to get off of Tatooine when he still thought he dad was freightor pilot. Leia was still part of the Galactic Senate before she knew her birth mother was a senator. Obi-Wan was a depressed man and, if anything, knowing who he was related to would have made him more depressed because he would’ve known who he disappointed.

Parentage and bloodlines and whatever don’t fucking matter in Star Wars. They’ve never mattered in Star Wars. We don’t know jackshit about where Han comes from genetically, but does that make him lesser? No! So why does Rey have to prove a blood relation to a powerful man to prove to the writers that she’s worth a damn?

#sexism #the answer is blatant sexism #the treatment of rey as only being allowed to be powerful once she’s related to someone powerful #that’s sexist

[alpurrtwhizkersss]

a little introduction [2023]

hey, my name’s Alpurrt, otherwise known as alpurrtwhizkersss here on Tumblr :)

i decided i’d do an introduction post because i’m thinking of starting to write on here. 

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/alpurrtwhizkersss/698998070518644736/i-love-you?source=share

i’ll be writing on my own, so i don’t rely on requests but they’d be really great to recieve!

you can find my pronouns in my bio, they may change quite often so i’m not going to put them here because i can’t be bothered coming back to edit this post every week :’)

i do lots of things! my main passion is art, but i’m not sure how much of that i’ll be posting on here, so i’ll mainly be posting about my other passion, which is writing!

here’s the good bit that you all probably care about, what fandoms i write for! okay, actually, first i’m going to tell you my rules for writing:

feel free to request things using the ask box! i’ll always have in my bio whether my requests are open or closed, and i’ll try and get to requests (if i get any) as soon as i can, but since i’m currently at school they may take a while, so please be patient with me :D

I will not write:

Smut, requests concerning serious mental disorders/issues, very dark topics, anything which could insinuate a lack of consent in a relationship, other’s OCs/self-inserts, canon ships (I only write X Readers!)

I will write:

Angst, fluff, making out, hurt/comfort, injury/violence descriptions (this does not mean self harm, I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable writing about this topic.), X Reader write from prompts if you give me a prompt and a character, platonic!reader, familial relationship!reader (NOT ROMANTIC) and LGBT+!Reader/Ships!

If you have any questions about these rules/want to clear anything up, drop me an ask!

NOW! Fandoms I write for (With the characters!)

Star Wars:

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Poe Dameron, Finn, Rey Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Han Solo, Leia Organa-Solo, Qui-Gon Jinn, Lando Calrissian, Satine Kryze- All of the clones, I’ll really write for anyone from Star Wars, apart from Rebels- since I haven’t seen that yet! But I will update you all when I have :)

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Stephen Strange, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, Shang Chi, Katy Chen, pretty much all of the Eternals apart from Sprite, Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker, Miles Morales, Foggy Nelson, and Matt Murdock.

I will write for pretty much every X-Men character, I also write for the Fantastic 4 :)

DC:

I write for Gotham as well as other DC canons, so literally send ‘em all in, but if you want specifics:

Every Young Justice character, the entire Batfamily (Damian is questionable, depends what the request entails.), most villains apart from The Joker, most Arrowverse characters, characters from the Sandman, The Suicide Squad (2021), Peacemaker, and John Constantine. There’s probably many more I haven’t thought of, so like I said, just send them all in to me :)

Resident Evil: 

Leon S Kennedy, Ada Wong, Albert Wesker, Claire Redfield, Chris Redfield, Ethan Winters, William Birkin, Annette Birkin, Sherry Birkin, Jake Mueller, Lady Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, Karl Heisenberg, Rose Winters, Joseph Frost, Richard Aikens, Forest Speyer, Luis Sera, Ashley Graham.

Finally, we have some other fandoms that I write for but that aren’t my mains! I won’t be listing names of characters I write for these fandoms so just send a request in and I’ll likely do it :)

Lord Of The Rings

Star Trek

Doctor Who

His Dark Materials (I won’t write for Lyra unless she’s older)

Criminal Minds

The Lost Boys

BBC Ghosts

Supernatural

The Umbrella Academy

The Matrix

RDR2

Final Fantasy 7

Harry Potter/Marauders

Power Rangers

TMNT

Les Miserables

Nancy Drew Video Games

The Hardy Boys

Assassin’s Creed

Stranger Things

It (2017/19)

The Walking Dead

James Bond (PLEASE SOMEBODY ASK ME TO WRITE FOR THESE MOVIES I’M LITERALLY BEGGING)

Dirk Gentley’s Holistic Detective Agency

Six of Crows

Hannibal

Newsies

The Walking Dead

helplines:

America:

https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines

Britain:

https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/helplines-and-crisis-contacts#:~:text=If%20you're%20in%20crisis,line%20%2D%20text%20SHOUT%20to%2085258

#fanfiction #writer #writers #writers on tumblr #introduction post #send me requests #please i need inspiration #x reader

[antianakin]

What would Sabine be like if she had fallen to the dark side and became a Sith?

This is a little bit of a weird question because I requires I pretend Sabine is actually Force sensitive and even CAPABLE of becoming a Sith which means looking more at her character in the Ahsoka show which I personally find to be wildly OUT of character.

The short answer is that the Sabine I consider to be the REAL Sabine, the BETTER Sabine, just quite simply doesn't have the ability to "become a Sith" because she isn't Force sensitive at all.

The less satisfying answer is to look at the Ahsoka show and what they did with her and say that, given all the fucking parallels they made between Sabine and Anakin that Sabine would likely end up looking a LOT like Anakin if she became a Sith. Or Kylo Ren, perhaps, constantly trying to measure up to a different Sith she's glorifying despite the fact in terms of sheer power she'll NEVER measure up and that constantly fucks with her head and shaves off little pieces of her every time she thinks about it. Oh man, there's a weird AU. The only "official Sith" I know about that's around at this point in the timeline is SNOKE, so like... an AU where Snoke ends up finding and brainwashing Sabine instead of Ben Solo and THAT'S why she's acting so fucking awful in the Ahsoka show, she's being slowly poisoned by the Dark side now that she's starting to touch the Force and is consumed by her own grief and anger, a perfect target for Snoke to take on as his apprentice. Guess I saved Ben Solo and Luke's Jedi in this AU haha. Lol get wrecked evil Sabine, Finn and Rey will EAT HER ALIVE.

But what I THINK you're asking is like... if Sabine were still in character and somehow also Force sensitive, what would happen if she were somehow pushed far enough to go evil and become a Sith. Which is hard, because I don't believe for a moment that Kanan would just ignore or not notice that Sabine was Force sensitive given how quickly he figures it out with Ezra. Which means, while you can go a little ways through Sabine's backstory without the Force sensitivity changing all that much, once Kanan gets involved, everything changes. Now Kanan HAS a student he's already trying to teach before he even MEETS Ezra, which means he's likely gone through a lot of his own journey as a teacher with Sabine instead of going through it with Ezra. Unless of course we presume Sabine refuses getting taught at all for whatever reason and then gets jealous when Ezra comes on and says yes to the training she rejected, which is what pushes her to darkness.

But I actually LIKE Sabine in Rebels, I LIKE the arc she goes on where she learns to face her fears and be merciful and patient and compassionate even towards those who have done her harm. So even if I put her in a situation where she IS Force sensitive and rejected Kanan's training and starts getting jealous of it all, I have a hard time believing it would push her enough to cause her to go full Dark side rather than a scenario where the rest of the Ghost crew realize she's struggling and work with her to help her figure out the real underlying issue so she can get better. And I dunno maybe she DOES accept Kanan's training this time and she and Ezra just end up training TOGETHER. Maybe she ultimately recognizes she doesn't truly want to be a Jedi, but she does want to know how to use these abilities so she has some extra tools in her belt when fighting the Empire. And of course then all of the parallels with Tarre Viszla and the Darksaber become even MORE stark if she's legitimately Force sensitive and gotten more literal Jedi training.

So I dunno, if I'm going to push Sabine into the dark I feel like I have to go back to prior to her meeting the Ghost crew and say that the Empire somehow figures out she's Force sensitive while at the Imperial Academy and she gets thrown to Vader and the Inquisitors while very young and she ends up one of the Inquisitors chasing down the Ghost crew or something. I can't imagine she'd end up feeling all that much different from the other Inquisitors we meet though: angry, cruel, competitive. She's not special, she's just broken.

So yeah, I feel like I can't take true canon Sabine from her days in the Ghost crew and make her go dark. We see her go up against some gnarly stuff, we see her struggle a lot with fears and doubts and pain and loss and overcome it EACH AND EVERY TIME because she does actually RESPOND to the support she gets from the other Ghost crew members and she learns to be better every time. She learns how to trust Hera and be patient, she learns how to be merciful and compassionate to her enemies with Fenn Rau, she learns how to face her fears rather than bottling them up and refusing to acknowledge them with Kanan, and she learns how to make a selfless sacrifice with Ezra. I truly don't see a Force sensitive Sabine somehow being so different that she COULDN'T still overcome those struggles with the same support. Much like with Obi-Wan and a lot of other real Jedi characters, I just don't find it realistic to see this version of Sabine going dark at all, I think it requires breaking her character too much and ignoring too much of what makes her who she is.

#star wars #sabine wren #star wars rebels #anti ahsoka show #ahsoka show critical

[erindrifter]

I just had a thought. It’s something that Disney should have thought of, because not only would it have been cool as hell (in my opinion) but also they could have sold more toys and it would have made them more money.

So, in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Anakins lightsaber gets torn in half. (As a side note, yes I consider it to be his, and not Luke’s or Rey’s. They have their own by the end of their stories) Because of this, Rey ends the movie without a lightsaber. However, in a truly stupid move, the next movie starts with Rey having fixed that lightsaber. I don’t like this for a few reasons, but mostly because a Jedi’s lightsaber is a symbol of their connection to the Force. Luke was still training when he had his fathers’ saber, and his journey was all but complete when he made his own. It’s literally one of the final steps in a Jedi’s basic training.

So, Rey starting her last movie with what is in essence her training saber is not great. But how could they have done better? How could Rey, a very smart mechanic with access to Jedi records and a fair amount of material, have made a new lightsaber instead of fixing a broken one?

See, here’s the thing. A single bladed saber doesn’t fully suit Rey. I’m with the group of people who say that Rey should have had a saber staff. And there’s a very easy way to fix that. When the lightsaber gets broken, show that the kyber crystal also broke in two. At the beginning of the movie, show Rey trying to get through the training session, but has issues because she has no weapon. Then, show her trying to make her own saber, but it keeps failing because the only kyber crystal they have is broken, and thus useless.

Except, we know from Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order that a broken kyber crystal isn’t actually an issue, but is actually useful to make a double bladed lightsaber. The issue is that Rey hasn’t properly bonded with the crystal, so it won’t work properly for her. At some point in the movie, show her meditating with the crystal, and maybe even show her a vision as a test, which she passes and so she bonds with the crystal, turning it yellow (because I also like that color for Rey). Now, Rey can finish her lightsaber, except she has to account for the second crystal (she was trying to use it as a single crystal, not two, but she learns better during her vision) and so she extends the hilt a bit, but doesn’t add a second emitter, because she doesn’t realize she needs one.

So now, she has her own lightsaber, and it’s a bit scrappy still, but it’s hers. For a while, she only uses a single blade, but during a troublesome blade lock, she activates the second blade, which tears through the bottom of the lightsaber, and she uses it to break the lock. Except, it’s a crystal that wasn’t meant for a double bladed lightsaber, so now she has two blades half as long as the full blade.

Boom. There you go. Rey has her own lightsaber, it’s unique, she uses it for the entire movie, and you can sell toys. The bottom half is all melted and broken, so it looks cool too.

[hamartia-grander]

HI LOTUS thanks for always being so suportive ily hope you're having a nice day <3

thoughts on the first to eps of obi-wan ? 👀👀

HI SISSI I LOVE YOU!!! I am actually having a very nice day, thank you. I hope you're well <333

Obi Wan Kenobi spoilers ahead!!

Ohymyiddoduddu oh my GOD. I love this show. I LOVE this show. I was not prepared to be so invested in it as I am now. I finished the eps and was vibrating with excitement.

First and foremost. I'm in love with Reva. She's so cool and badass and I love her voice so much??? She has such a nice voice. And I really really hope she gets a redemption arc, because 1. She freaking deserves to be loved and cared for, and 2. [Jedi: Fallen Order spoilers] we almost had a great Inquisitor redemption arc with Trilla but then she was killed off for shock factor. I'm still so pissed about that. She deserved better, and so does Reva.

There's lots of little things I love too. The fact that Obi Wan got Luke that toy ship. That Obi Wan gets a little snack for his Eopie every day. That Owen didn't sell him out. That Bail Organa reassured Leia and knocked out every one who tries to say that adopted kids aren't legitimate. That baby Luke escapes responsibility at every chance to pretend he's flying a ship. That baby Leia absolutely murdered her cousin in a verbal throw down, like full on K.O., total devastation, I was dying.

Baby Leia oh my God. Finally she gets the spotlight. And her dynamic with Obi Wan was so cute and lovely and heartbreaking at the same time. When he said no to the gloves and then .2 seconds later bought her the gloves, I was dying laughing. This man. And how she literally is both of her parents like. Big cry. I love her so much.

I always liked Obi Wan as a character, he was never like my top 5 but I definitely liked him. With this show I feel like we're getting more parts of him I've always seen, but not enough of yk? And I really appreciate it. We get to see his caution and wariness as a hunted jedi on the run, but we also get to see his kindness, how perceptive he is, his connection with other living beings, and how even though he keeps going, everything is weighing down on him and he knows it. It's refreshing to see this side of him, both the revered former jedi and the weary man still so full of love despite everything he's been through. I love him sm.

I also loved all the parallels in this of Obi Wan to Rey. Idk if it was intentional, for any reason, or if its just star wars' natural "poetry" as they say, but they were pretty blatant parallels that I loved. Obi Wan making his instant bread and sitting and eating it outside his living space just like Rey did in TFA, Obi Wan burying his lightsabers in the sand like Rey did in TROS. And then of course, Obi Wan having his repetitive, structured life - a life he lived for others - interrupted by a greater calling outside of what he's grown used to that he's hesitant to pursue at first but once he does, he does so with full passion and commitment, similar to Rey's story. It almost makes me wish they'd had Rey be related to him somehow, even though I know that wouldn't really make any sense lmao. It's just nice to see the similarities. And I also love Rey Skywalker very much.

I think it's very impactful that the moment Obi Wan opens himself up to the force after 10 years of hiding, he finds Anakin. Obviously he closed himself off from the force so as to not be easily traced, but I like to think a part of that was also that he didn't want to reach out in the force and not find Anakin. I recently started reading the Ahsoka novel by E. K. Johnston and Ahsoka was in a similar situation. She hid from the force because she felt vulnerable, and afraid they'd find her, but also she said she dreaded reaching out in the force and feeling everyone she loved, gone. (cause she thought Anakin and Obi Wan were both dead.) So to see Obi Wan's hesitant belief, and the fact that he immediately finds Anakin, makes me think maybe he dreaded that too, maybe he was scared of not feeling anyone he cared for, because that meant they were really gone. And his love for Anakin, as a brother, mentor, father figure, and teacher, just transcended all obstacles, and even though he saw Anakin fall to the darkside, he still loves him, he will always love him, and he's both relieved that Anakin survived and terrified of what he's become. It's so fucking heartbreaking and I love it.

The only thing I'm kinda iffy about is the Grand Inquisitor? He can't actually be dead, because we see him in Rebels, which is about 4 years after Kenobi right? Idk the exact time but it's definitely after. So there's gotta be some way they like save his life or something. But with how they ended it I almost fear they're going to retcon his rebels presence or something. I really hope they don't do that and I won't assume until I see it, but it would be upsetting. I'm expecting there to be some deus ex machina of sorts and we find out he's actually still very much alive in the next ep. Fingers crossed fhdjsjss.

But yes I so loved the first two episodes and I'm SO excited for more. How did you feel about the show?

#Obi Wan kenobi #Obi Wan kenobi spoilers #Kenobi #Kenobi spoilers #Asks #Obi Wan #Obi Wan spoilers #Owk #owk spoilers #Owk series #Kenobi series #Obi Wan kenobi series #Obi Wan series #I'm trying to cover as many tags so people don't see spoilers djfhfjd

[capsarcastica]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Review

Indiana Jones and the Sequel No One Wanted. It’s a movie that makes Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seem like Best Picture material in comparison. It ranks alongside Halloween Ends as one of the most overhyped and disappointing endings to a great series.

The opening twenty minutes is the best part. It plays like a really good Indy short that has all the things we want. It's fun. It's exciting. It's interesting. It actually makes a good case for just recasting the role with a younger actor and proceeding James Bond style. Unfortunately, it immediately drops off a cliff afterwards. At best it's a dull slog through watered down rehashes of the better movies, and at worst it's an insult to the characters and fans.

For whatever reason, Disney seems to force all their male characters to become broken down old men who need a young female characters to get by. Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi, Buzz in Lightyear, Nick Fury in Secret Invasion, and now Indy in this. Someone needs to show them Wrath of Khan, Unforgiven, and John Wick as proof there's more stories to old heroes than just younger people insulting them. Getting the Luke treatment, this great character audiences have loved for forty years is now a pathetic lonely nobody that everyone just wants gone. The happy ending of Crystal Skull is completely shredded so that he can start off as pathetic as possible. Sallah, who is in the movie far too little, is the only one to treat him with anything resembling respect. It’s like someone watched the Future Marty scenes from Back to the Future Part II and thought that’s how all heroes should be treated, instead of avoided which was the point of those scenes. Harrison Ford is only serviceable in the role. Like Bruce Willis, the last two decades have seen him gradually stop trying as hard. Worst of all, Indiana Jones has no heroic moments in his own self-titled movie. That's because all the heroic moments are stolen by Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Helena Shaw, the most insufferable addition to the franchise.

All the problems that made people dislike Star Wars' Rey is amplified to a ridiculous degree with Helena. She's actually the worst antagonist to Indy, conning him, stealing from him, leaving him for dead, telling a cop to shoot him, and constantly insulting him. She degrades his life's work, you know the very adventures audiences fell in love with him for. It's a wonder why anyone would like her or put up being around her. In true Mary Sue fashion, she is literally better than him at everything, knowing more languages, knowing history better, better able to navigate the world, better able to solve puzzles. It's like they combined Marion, Willie, and Elsa without any of their charm. Her motivations constantly flip-flop, going from pure greed and self-interest in one scene to maybe actually liking archeology in the next. She literally undercuts with a right hook any message the movie was making about getting old, and steals the last possible heroic moment for Indy. Waller-Bridge plays the role with a constant smile and acts like every moment is part of some grand scheme Helena has already planned out, but it makes her even more annoying and difficult to sympathize with. She has her own version of Shortround with Teddy, who has next to nothing to do and isn't in anyway memorable. They killed off Shia LaBeouf's character in a disgraceful way obviously so Helena would be the only one who could carry the franchise forward, but at least Mutt had some dimension to his character that audiences could follow.

Mads Mikkelsen is fine as the villain, but it's nothing he hasn't done better in other movies. The villains have always been so over-the-top and delightfully hammy that it actually hurts the movie to see someone play it so seriously. He also keeps popping up in every random place without any kind of explanation just because the story needs him to. Antonio Banderas, Tobey Jones, John Rhys-Davies, and Karen Allen all do good in the tiny parts they have. Everyone else is just forgettable.

There's always been a pulp-like fantasy to the series, but this movie seems to abandon logic entirely as far too many things conveniently occur. Too much of the movie is just recycled from the first three. Like the Star Wars sequel trilogy, Lucasfilm seems to struggle with new ideas. Even the score by the great John Williams, in what is supposed to be his final work, seems nothing more than it was copied and pasted from the first three films.

Director James Mangold gave audiences the one of the best legacy character send offs with Logan, but it's obvious he wasn't allowed to add his personal touch on this movie. He tries but can't capture anything close to the Spielberg magic.

When the film is using practical effects and locations, the movie looks really good. Trouble is it uses CGI and blue-screens far too much, the Morocco chase being a good example. It's too obvious that Ford is sitting in a studio bouncing on a rig rather than being anywhere doing anything. What should be the two most impressive scenes, the train ride at the beginning and the underwater ship, are shrouded in darkness and fog to hide the obvious flaws. Like Crystal Skull's ants, CGI just can't capture the same creepy sensation that real critters can. The de-aging at the beginning looks good, better than Tarkin and Leia in Rogue One, but is still off. Considering how well make-up was used to recreate Donald Pleasance for Halloween Kills, it's a shame big movies are still using CGI that can't escape the Uncanny Valley.

The third act goes completely off the rails, and not in a good way. It would be more at home in a Scary Movie-style parody than an actual Indy film. The time travel actually makes Crystal Skull's UFO reveal seem appropriate in comparison.

Indy had the perfect ending with The Last Crusade. He saved his father, his faith, became a better man for it, and got to ride off into the sunset. The ending to Crystal Skull was no where near as good, but at least was satisfying for what it was. This movie seems to think that crapping all over the entire series is somehow interesting.

It's no secret that Disney has hit a major slump recently. Their live-makes no longer guaranteeing interest, Marvel and Star Wars getting their first critical bashings and financial flops, Pixar underperforming, and Disney+ reportedly losing them money. Lucasfilm is in the worst position since it only had four franchises to begin with. Interest in Star Wars has decreased since The Force Awakens, and they keep announcing projects only for them to be quietly cancelled later. Meanwhile, the Willow series didn't even last six months on Disney+ cause no one was watching it. And there's definitely no interest in seeing another sequel to American Graffiti. Indiana Jones was the last chance to prove they could make Lucasfilm movies without George Lucas, and it's obvious that the people currently in charge cannot.

#Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny #Indiana Jones #Dial of Destiny #Movie Review