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ckret2 · 4 months

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Chapter 31 of human Bill grudgingly enduring being the Pines' prisoner because the Henchmaniacs won't take his call: Summerween night! Everyone gets ridiculous costumes!

The Summerween Trickster's buddies are attempting to resurrect him. Robbie's making a music video. Bill's attempting to woo Ford back into friendship, to terrify Dipper with cursed knowledge, and to recover his dignity from THE most gentle chastising imaginable, and he only succeeds in 1 out of 3 of these endeavors:

It's not this one. He's just gotta process these emotions while wearing that stupid wig.

####

Soos was putting the final touches on his cosplay (the suave and mysterious Masked Guy In A Suit, love interest of the heroine from the classic anime Teenage Planetary Soldier Girls) when he heard the phone ring in the office. "Hold on, I'll get it!" He hurried downstairs, ducked under a construction paper chain Mabel had strung over the door, picked up the phone, and said, "Hello?"

A mysterious voice droned, "The sun sets a deep blood red."

"Oh, no thanks, we don't want any." Soos hung up, sighed happily, and said, "Ah, Summerween. Always brings out the weirdos."

"Hey Soos!" Mabel ducked into the doorway. "Where's the candy bowl?"

"Oh, hey Hambone. It's in my bedroom." He put on a stage whisper. "I put it in there so Bill couldn't steal it."

"Thanks Soos!" She ran upstairs.

Dipper and Bill waited downstairs, the tension thick between them (on Dipper's side, anyway; Bill—watching a black-and-white horror movie, sipping at a can of cider, and brooding over going to voicemail—didn't notice). Dipper was waiting by the door in a folding chair; but he kept glancing toward Bill in the living room. When the silence got too much to bear, he asked, "Okay, what are you dressed as?"

Bill was wearing a brown bedsheet toga (the most historically-accurate part of his costume); a cheap wig of a teased mullet that had ended up mostly red with yellow streaks, forming a plume of hair right over his head and then a long straight tail he'd draped over his shoulder; and a bunch of paper faux-Greek homes taped all around the hem of his toga, forming a ring around his calves.

"And are those my sandals?" Dipper asked.

"Take it up with Mabel, she loaned them on your behalf," Bill said. "I'm not telling my costume. You have to guess it."

"Seriously?" Dipper sighed. It had to be a god, gods towered over their mortals' temples. What god would wear brown? "I don't know—Demeter?"

"What? No. Do I seem like the Demeter type? Pathetic." Bill waved off his guess. As Mabel ran downstairs, Bill said, "Hey, Shooting Star, you haven't made your official guess yet."

Without hesitation, Mabel said, "A time-traveling hair metal singer touring the Roman Empire and trying to find a way home before his hair dye runs out."

"Wrong, but I would love to live in the world you've dreamed up." He meandered into the entryway to join Mabel as she plopped down in the second chair by the door.

Dipper screwed up his face. "Are you helping us answer the door?"

"No, you're helping me answer the door. I'm cursed, remember?" Bill leaned over Mabel's shoulder, dug into the candy bowl, and popped a lollipop in his mouth. "But you're not getting rid of me, if that's what you're asking."

Soos headed to the door, cape billowing dramatically behind him. "Hey dudes. Hey Bill." He paused in the door, studying Bill. "Hey! Is that a Bobo the Uncouth Berserker cosplay?"

Bill blinked. "Who?"

"Bobo the Uncouth Berserker! You've gotta read Bobo. He's this primitive hero descended from lost Lemuria who goes on daring adventures through the lush impenetrable jungles of Central Europe. He's got this comic that was so popular it spawned an anime, which got an American movie adaptation, which formed the basis of a second comic continuity that isn't as critically acclaimed as the original but has drawn in a lot of new fans... and..." Soos petered out. "You're not Bobo, are you."

Bill shook his head. "Thanks for playing."

"Aw." Soos's shoulders slumped. "Anyway—me and Melody are gonna be at the cosplay contest at the theater. I'll keep my phone on in case of monsters."

"We'll be fine!" Mabel said. "Go have fun!"

"You too!" With a dramatic flourish of his cape, Soos disappeared into the night.

Bill watched Soos go enviously. He could have been given a human body that looked that good in a suit and top hat, but was he? No. It wasn't fair. And Soos didn't even wear the right hat size.

Dipper glanced sideways at Bill. "Hey. Is... Lemuria real?"

"Not anymore." Bill perked up as Stan passed by, dressed like Frankenstein's monster. "Hey, Stanley! You haven't guessed yet. What am I?"

Stan surveyed him. "White columned buildings, Statue of Liberty dress, and a red clown wig. I dunno, the American government?"

Bill squawked in laughter. "That's my favorite wrong answer so far. I like you, Stanley." He fished a chocolate bar out of the bowl and held it out.

Stan grunted in disapproval, but accepted the candy. "If any of you need me, I'm gonna be up on the roof, terrifying kids." He held up a boombox and a cassette that said "Spooky Sound Effects of Halloween". "If you hear screaming children, don't worry: that means I'm winning."

"Where's your brother?" Bill asked.

"Avoiding you." Stan passed through the living room and left.

Bill's shoulders slumped; but he just dug into the candy bowl for more chocolate. Then the first trick-or-treater knocked on the door, and Dipper jumped up in relief to answer it.

The shack didn't attract quite as many trick-or-treaters as the houses closer to the center of town, but they got a steady stream of children, and more than they'd gotten the year before. Between visitors, Bill dug into their candy stock, gleefully ignoring Dipper's complaints. After the fourth or fifth visitor, Dipper and Mabel realized that Bill was covering up the amount of candy he'd pilfered by meticulously re-folding the empty wrappers and putting them back in the bowl.

"It's fair play," Bill said. He untwisted one end of a Twisty Roll tube, squeezed out the candy, blew into the wrapper to re-inflate it, and twisted the end shut again. "The kids are trick-or-treating, right? Sometimes they get treats and sometimes they get tricks."

"Come on, seriously?" Dipper said. "Even for you this is low. You're literally taking candy from babies."

"The babies are trying to take candy from us. I have no sympathy." With the precision of an origami master, Bill refolded a paper fruit chew wrapper into a box and dropped it back into the bowl.

"They're supposed to take candy from us, that's how the holiday works." Dipper looked at Mabel for support.

But she was holding up an empty 3 Fencers wrapper and squeezing it lightly between her fingers. "Wow. How did you make the wrapper puffy again? It's so convincing."

Bill shot Dipper a nasty smile, then turned to Mabel and said magnanimously, "I'll teach you everything I know." He twirled a glue stick between his fingers.

Another trick-or-treater knocked, and Dipper answered.

"Trick or treat! Please give us the worst candy you have."

Mabel blinked, leaning around Dipper to see who was outside. "Wait, what?"

Outside stood a purple-furred monster with a dozen limbs from a dozen different creatures. He gasped in surprise. "Ohhh, twin costumes! That's so cute! What are you two, haunted dolls?"

Dipper took a surprised step back. "Limby Jimmy?"

The monster was silent a moment, taken aback. He took off a bear mask he'd made out of a paper plate. "Is it that obvious?"

Mabel asked, "Have we...?"

Dipper said, "Oh! Sorry—Mabel, this is Limby Jimmy, I ran into him last year in the Crawlspace under town when I was trying to get your face back—"

Helpfully, Bill threw in, "He's Gravity Falls' most accomplished arms dealer. And legs dealer, and tails dealer, and ears dealer..."

"Limby, this is my sister Mabel. Actually, I don't know if I ever introduced myself—"

Limby Jimmy cut in, "Ohhh, yeah, I remember you! You're Troll Boy, right?"

Dipper winced. "It's—it's Dipper, actually." He paused. "Wow. We meet a lot of weird people."

"Nice to meet you, Jimmy!" Mabel held out a hand. After a moment of thought, Jimmy elected to shake it with a tentacle and a dog's paw.

"What are you doing up here?" Dipper asked. "Is Summerween the one night of the year that Gravity Falls' monsters can walk among humans without fear?"

"Oh no, I'm terrified. I wouldn't be out here if I wasn't collecting donations," Jimmy said.

"Donations?"

Jimmy hesitated, then lowered his voice. "You've been in the Crawlspace, so, you and your sister are cool, but is the lady...?" He wiggled a hoof toward Bill.

Coolly, Bill said, "I'm actually an ancient interdimensional energy being cursed to wear a human form."

Dipper and Mabel flinched in alarm and rounded on Bill, hissing, "Bill!" "Shhh!"

Ignoring them, Bill said, "So, continue."

"Oh," Jimmy said brightly. "That's all right then, yuk yuk." He wiggled his multitude of right arms. "I don't know if you humans have heard yet, but the Summerween Trickster got eaten to death last summer! It's really sad!"

Dipper and Mabel, who had watched as he was eaten to death, stayed quiet.

"But probably happy for him?" Jimmy mused. "Since I think that's what he wanted? But it's sad for the rest of his poker group, we all miss him! So I'm out here with Doug—"

"Who?" Dipper asked, looking around the porch for a second monster.

"Oh, he's back there." Jimmy pointed toward a tree at the edge of the clearing around the Mystery Shack. The tree chittered unnervingly. "We're going around collecting donations to resurrect the Trickster! Or... re-summon him? Or however this works. We never really asked him how he came to exist, it seemed rude."

"Naturally," Bill said. "You can't just ask a freak what made him so freaky. It's a sensitive topic."

"Right! You understand," Jimmy said. "Anyway, we need a lot of crappy candy!" He looked at their bowl. "Which pieces have the kids been ignoring this year?"

Mabel had started bouncing on the balls of her dusty Victorian ghost shoes; and the moment she had a turn to speak, she squealed in excitement. "You're the Summerween Trickster's friend! That's perfect! Stay here, I'll be right back!" She shoved the candy bowl into Bill's arms and zoomed up the stairs. "I've got some stuff for him!"

Bill looked at the bowl, looked at the stairs, shoved the candy in Dipper's arms, and followed Mabel. "Hey, Shooting Star? What are you doing?"

Her voice drifted down the stairs: "Getting a donation! I'll be just a minute!"

"Hold on, you're actually helping that guy?" Bill laughed. "Why?" He climbed high enough to poke his head above the attic floor and lowered his voice so Jimmy couldn't hear. "I wasn't paying that much attention last Summerween, but I got the impression from your little costume store brawl that the Trickster was trying to kill you kids. Am I missing something?"

"I mean, yeah, he was—but he was in a really bad place back then, that doesn't mean he deserves to be dead for it. And now he knows someone out there wants to eat him, so maybe he'll be less insecure and evil." Mabel laughed, "Anyway, the Trickster isn't that bad! He didn't try to kill me half as hard as you did!"

Bill froze a couple of steps from the top of the stairs. He didn't move for a few seconds; and then wordlessly, he slunk back downstairs.

Dipper watched as Bill, face beet red, trudged into the living room. "Hey. What's Mabel...?"

"How should I know." Bill curled up on the couch, picked up the can of cider he'd been drinking earlier, shotgunned it, and glowered at the horror movie on TV.

Dipper considered Bill—all alone in the living room and not doing anything important—and considered Mabel, upstairs; and said, "Hey, Jimmy. Do you mind waiting out here until Mabel gets back."

"Sure! I don't have any plans." Jimmy rocked back on his many heels.

"Cool. Thanks." Dipper shut the door.

He sidled oh so very casually into the living room and leaned against the TV. "Guess it's just the two of us right now."

Bill's gaze didn't waver from the TV. "Terrific counting skills, Troll Boy." He popped open another cider can.

Dipper grit his teeth. Let it go. "Sooo! You're from the second dimension, huh? What's that like?" (His voice cracked embarrassingly on "that.") "Just—just curious. Making friendly conversation. Caaasual conversation." He flashed a pair of finger guns at Bill, to underscore just how casual he was. "Yyyep." Witness the junior paranormal investigator in action.

Bill turned the cold, empty eyes of a killer on Dipper. He took a long, slow sip from his cider. And he asked himself: what can I say that will make this stupid boy regret ever daring to speak to me?

Bill smiled. "Yeah. Sure. Okay," he said. "You wanna know what it's like? Have you ever read the Allegory of the Cave?"

Dipper hesitated. "By... Plato?"

"That one. You know—ignorance is like being a prisoner chained in a cave, watching shadow puppets being cast on a wall, and thinking they're reality; and having knowledge is like being outside the cave in the sunlight, seeing the real shapes that are casting the shadows—"

"I have read it, actually," Dipper said, a tad defensively. "It was for extra credit in—"

"English class, I know."

Dipper frowned; but he soldiered on. "So... living in the second dimension is like being chained in a cave, staring at the shadows on the wall, and thinking that's reality? Bleak."

Bill laughed so loudly that Dipper started. "Wow, you're so dumb! Use your brain, kid: it's the second dimension. You're not the prisoner: you're the shadow on the wall." Bill's lip curled in a sneer, "An illusion in somebody else's allegory. And the only one who can see the cave's exit... is you. That's what the second dimension is like!" He laughed again. It sounded forced.

"Oh," Dipper mumbled. He tried to wrap his head around the idea of being a living metaphor for ignorance. "Sounds... pretty bad?"

"Awful," Bill agreed. "Doesn't hold a candle to what your dimension has going on, though."

"Wh... why, what's going on in the third dimension?"

Bill gave him a malicious smile, and Dipper had the sinking feeling he'd just walked into an obvious trap. "You idiot, you still think you're in the third dimension? Really?"

Was that a trick question? What answer was Bill looking for? What could this be if not the third dimension? "Nnooo?"

"Wow. I can really see why you're a straight-A's honors student," Bill said. "You're so good at figuring out what answer the test wants and regurgitating it—even if you don't actually understand it at all." He heaved himself back to his feet; and Dipper was sure there was something threatening in the movement—something that reminded Dipper that he was talking to a dangerously unstable extinction level event precariously packed into an unsteady human body. "Although copying the year of the Louisiana Purchase off of Brandon's test in fifth grade probably didn't hurt, did it."

Dipper's stomach dropped. The secret shame buried beneath the foundation of his honors roll-worthy record. Pull that out and his entire academic career came toppling down. He'd get kicked out of the honors classes. He'd go to jail. Was cheating against the law? "H... how did—?"

"What year was the Louisiana Purchase?"

Dipper's brain immediately went blank. He was silent, trapped in the paralyzing intensity of Bill's gaze. After several terrifying seconds, he croaked, "1803?" and hoped he was right.

"Attaboy. Too bad you couldn't have learned that a little sooner, isn't it?" As he spoke, Bill had closed in on Dipper until he'd backed him into the corner behind the TV set, filling Dipper's exit route with one hand on the TV and the other on the wall. "But we were talking about dimensions, weren't we! Whaddaya like to read, kid," Bill asked too casually, "do you like cosmic horror? Do you know what real 'cosmic horror' is?"

Dipper regretted this conversation completely.

"It's having an eyeball on the inside of your body, and seeing another dimension through it. And ohoho, I think you'd be amazed at the things I can see from here—"

Dipper got the distinct impression that if he didn't get out of this conversation, he would only hear things he'd be telling his therapist about for months. "Cool! Good talk, man. Hey Mabel?" (That was an absolutely humiliating voice crack.) "How's it going?"

A pause. "I think I need help!"

"Coming!" Dipper ran behind the TV to escape Bill and gratefully bolted upstairs.

The kid had caved so fast. And Bill had only just been getting started. He smirked, sat, and turned back to the movie.

A moment later, Mabel and Dipper came back downstairs, carrying four bulging plastic grocery bags. Mabel set one by her feet, opened the door, and shoved the first bag into Jimmy's arms. "Here! You can give these to the Trickster!" She shoved over the second bag.

Jimmy stumbled back under the weight. "Whoa there! What is this?"

"Candy chalk-hearts! I completely bought out the leftovers after Valentine's Day," Mabel said. "I wanted to make sure that if we met the Trickster again, I could let him know he's loved and appreciated as the terrifying avatar of spooky holiday spirit that he is! And that I also respect that he's made out of gross candy nobody likes to eat." She picked up a chalk-heart box and waved it in Jimmy's face. "So here's a gross candy that expresses love! See, the little hearts say things like 'You smell nice' and 'I heart ur face,' but they taste like if dehydration was a flavor."

Dipper handed his bags to Jimmy. "Wait—Mabel, that's why you got all these? You've been planning to help the Trickster since February? I thought you were gonna build a chalk-heart house or something."

"Oooh, that's such a good idea. I should do that next year!" To Jimmy, she said, "I was gonna give these to him personally, but if he's still dead, I guess you can add it to his candy sacrifice pile or whatever? And make sure he gets this!" She handed Jimmy a store bought Shimmery Twinkleheart Valentine's card. It read, "I BELIEVE in our friendship! Happy Valentine's Day!" Mabel had scratched out "Valentine's" and written "Summerween".

Choked up, Jimmy said, "Oh—wow. That's the nicest thing anyone's done for us all night. I'm sure the Trickster will really appreciate it when he's not dead anymore."

Dipper was a little more vengeful. Dipper didn't want to do anything for one of the many guys that had tried to kill them last year. But, on the other hand, Mabel had just gone all in on this, and Jimmy seemed nice enough, so... Dipper sighed. Whatever, it was Summerween and this was a trick-or-treater. "Hey," he picked up the candy bowl. "There's really only one bag of good candy in here. The bottom of the bowl is filled with after-dinner mints our great uncle's been stealing from restaurants for the last six months. The Trickster would probably love that, right?"

"Aww—thanks so much, you guys! We'll have the poker group back together in no time!" Jimmy dug past the good candy and started scooping mints into his bag. "Oh—since I'm here, can I ask about our other poker buddy? Do either of you know Mr. What's-His-Face? He disappeared around the time you were visiting the Crawlspace, maybe one of you saw something? Any information would be helpful." Jimmy looked at them with weird, plus-shaped, but very hopeful eyes. "Between the Trickster's death and Whatsis disappearing, the local paranormal community's been hit hard. Especially us guys in their friend group. I'm—I'm not gonna lie," Jimmy heaved a sigh, "It's been a really hard year."

Dipper and Mabel, who were directly and personally at fault for Mr. What's-His-Face's disappearance and knew he was frozen in stasis in Ford's bunker at that very moment, exchanged a look and came to a silent agreement.

"Nope, don't know anything," Mabel said.

"Sorry, buddy," Dipper said.

Like the Summerween Trickster, Mr. What's-His-Face was a weird faceless shapeshifty monster that had tried to kill them. But they felt like that was where the similarities ended.

By the time of the Trickster's death, Mabel and Dipper had realized that his deepest inner longing was to be called good enough to eat. Mr. What's-His-Face's deepest inner longing was to steal innocent people's faces. If Mabel and Dipper helped resurrect the Trickster, he'd probably go back to ensuring everyone displayed sufficient holiday spirit, while hopefully mellowing out about eating people now that he'd been consumed once. On the other hand, if Mabel and Dipper helped free Mr. What's-His-Face, he'd probably just keep stealing faces.

And on top of all that, they could help resurrect the Trickster without admitting they knew the guy who ate him. They couldn't really lead Jimmy to Mr. What's-His-Face without admitting their great uncle was keeping him captive. And that would be a problem for the whole family.

"Oh," Jimmy said. "Okay, that's fine. Thanks for all your help. You know where to reach us if you hear anything."

Mabel shook her head. Dipper nodded. "Yeah, we'll let you know."

Jimmy hopped off the porch, shouted, "Hey Doug, can you help me carry these?" and chucked a couple of bags of chalk-hearts toward the tree line. Dipper and Mabel stared. Nothing emerged to pick the bags up.

They shut the door.

"Man," Dipper said. "We kinda devastated the paranormal poker group last summer, didn't we?"

"Yeah." Mabel sucked in a breath between her teeth. "Wow. Feels... kinda bad."

Dipper offered her the candy bowl. "Drown our feelings in chocolate?"

"Please."

They grabbed a piece of candy each, tore open the wrappers—and frowned. Mabel stomped a foot. "Dang it—Bill!"

"Hm?"

"How many of these wrappers are empty?!"

Bill poked his head out of the living room and said, smugly, "Like candy from a baby!"

####

A knock, and Dipper opened the door. "Wendy! Hey! Good timing—"

"Hey." Wendy lowered her voice. "Quick question—this is super important—is Goldie here?"

"Uh—yeah, why—?"

"Yello?" Bill carefully wove his way out of the living room, already less steady on his feet than when he'd sat down. "I heard my name, who's summoning me?"

Wendy pointed over the twins at Bill and turned to shout into the dark, "Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you! Live and in person... Toga Lady!"

A half dozen teenagers immediately went bananas. Hooting and hollering and cheering and whistling: "To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!"

Bill's entire face lit up. Without missing a beat, he pushed past the baffled twins out onto the porch and spread his arms wide, basking in the cheering. "That's right, keep it coming! Worship me! I'm the greatest!"

"Yes!" Robbie pumped a fist in the air. "The legends were true!" Nate immediately added, "The prophecy! The prophecy!" Tambry snapped photos of Toga Lady's fresh look as fast as her phone could save them, muttering, "Everyone's gonna flip when they find out you're still in town."

Wendy waited, grinning, until her friends' faux hysterics had died down. "Okay—okay, after getting you hyped up, I should probably say that Toga Lady is actually Toga Guy." She glanced questioningly at Bill. "I think?"

"Eh, I'm not picky."

"Anyway this is Goldie, he was stuck in another dimension for thirty years, it's crazy, and now he's like my illegal backup cashier. He actually... doesn't usually wear togas?"

Bill laughed. "If you can't wear a bedsheet on Summerween, when can you?"

Lee said, "Thompson wore a bedsheet to homecoming."

"Hey."

Bill pointed at Thompson. "A man of impeccable fashion! I like it!" Thompson gave him a look of eternal gratitude.

"And Goldie, this is the gang! That's Thompson, he's the guy with the van; Robbie and Tambry, they're like, gender-swapped versions of each other, they even share their hair dye..."

As Wendy did introductions, Mabel whispered to Dipper, "Did you know she was gonna introduce Goldie to everyone?"

"No! This is bad, I told her not to trust him..."

Bill was responding to a question, "No, no, you've gotta guess, I'm making everyone guess!"

The teens considered the question. Robbie offered first, "Punk caveman?"

"Nope!"

Hesitantly, Thompson tried, "Nero fiddling over the burning of Rome?" He winced when Lee laughed.

"I like where your head's at, but no! I can't fiddle."

"The gremlin king from Huge Maze?" Tambry said.

Mabel piped up, "No, but the wig came from a gremlin king costume and I appreciate you for recognizing that!" Tambry nodded in cool approval.

Bill dispensed of Lee, Nate, and Wendy's guesses—Greek Christmas tree, that one guy who keeps painting burning banks, and hair metal Hades—before Robbie loudly cleared his throat to cut in. "Anyway, would love to stay and chat, but we've gotta move if we wanna be in position before sunset. Dipper, Mabel, you ready?"

"Ready to ghost it up!" Mabel said, squeezing around Bill with Dipper onto the porch.

Robbie surveyed their makeup—deathly white skin, ashen grey lips, and dark circles around their eye sockets. "Yeah, that's pretty good. Could use a little color, maybe. Like bloody tears?" He turned toward Tambry.

She said, "I think I've got some red eyeliner."

"'In position'?" Bill asked, giving Dipper and Mabel a questioning look.

Wendy said, "We're helping Robbie film this music video tonight."

"We're the creepy ghost twins!" Mabel announced proudly. "We get to sing the chorus."

Robbie said, "Yeah, the song's about childhood and growing up, but like, with ghosts? Because once you've grown up, your childhood is all dead? It's metal, but introspective. I'm calling the genre 'intrometal.'" He flipped his bangs dramatically. "It's a super deep song. Metaphorical layers."

"Oh yeah?" Bill stared Robbie down. "Sing some of it."

Robbie blinked. "Oh. Yeah, okay uh, I haven't warmed up my voice but, the hook is like—" He pantomimed playing a guitar and whisper-screamed, "'BABY DOLLS! BASKET BALLS! BASKET CASE! HUMAN RACE!' Like that."

Bill nodded slowly, face expressionless. "Ah, yeah, I see. Really deep stuff. Makes you think."

"Thanks." Robbie looked at Dipper and Mabel. "Anyway, if we're gonna get any footage in the graveyard before the jack-o'-melons start burning out, we've gotta move. Let's go, Creepy Ghost Twins."

"Wait, you're going out?" Bill asked Mabel. "Like out-out? Leaving me here? By myself? On Summerween?"

"Wh—yeah, we're only handing out candy for half the night," Mabel said. "I told you that."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

"When?"

Mabel thought. "No I didn't," she admitted. "Sorry!"

Wendy punched Bill's arm. "Sorry to steal them. We'll be back in a couple of hours," she said. "Or you could come help—?"

"No!" Dipper and Mabel both shoved Bill back into the house before he could accept. Dipper said, "You've gotta—guard the house." Mabel added, "And hand out candy!"

"Right," Bill said flatly. "Yes. That. Ha."

"See you later!" Mabel said, and then shut the door in his face.

The last thing he heard was Wendy explaining to her friends, "He's on house arrest for, like, academic plagiarism and war crimes or something..." and then they were gone.

Bill's shoulders slumped. Well, now what? He couldn't celebrate a holiday by himself. What was the point of wearing a costume if no one sees you in it. He picked up a piece of candy, discovered it was one of his decoys, and picked up another.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Yeah, yeah," Bill sighed. He picked up the candy bowl, turned toward the door, and paused. Ah. Right. What was he supposed to do with this impenetrable portal-blocking slab of wood.

Who was left in the house? Stan on the roof, Ford in the basement, Abuelita probably already in bed... were any of them worth harassing to help him answer the door? Maybe Stan, he'd gotten all dressed up, he liked the holiday even if he didn't like Bill—

The trick-or-treater knocked more insistently.

Or. Or.

He could pick up the bowl, peer out the small window in the door, and make direct eye contact with the children outside while he ate candy.

As a piece of mid-tier chocolate melted on his tongue, he saw three trick-or-treaters' faces fall as their faith in a kind, caring universe died. He grinned at them and ate another chocolate.

Oh yeah. He grabbed the rest of his cider from the living room and set up post next to the door. This would keep him entertained the rest of the night.

####

He made seven small children cry.

####

Stan watched from his post on the roof as yet another sobbing kid ran away from the shack. "HA! Gottem! Sucker!" He affectionately patted his boombox. "Creepy ghoulish laughter, you never disappoint! Terrifying moochers since 1989!" He paused the cassette and rewound it a few seconds to replay the best part.

He heard a scraping sound above him, and looked up just in time to see Ford sliding down the roof to join him. "Oh, hey! I didn't think we'd see you again tonight."

"Mabel made me promise to celebrate Summerween a little."

"Good for her!"

Stan had already claimed the sun lounger, so Ford brushed some dust and leaves off the roof's cooler and sat. "So, what are we doing? Scaring trick-or-treaters?"

"Yep. This year I'm taking a more atmospheric approach." He gestured at his boombox, which by now was playing haunting organ music. "Nothing like screaming zombies and rattling chains from nowhere to freak out the kids."

Ford nodded. "Psychological torment. I approve."

"Not quite as good as getting to see the terror in their eyes, but." Stan shrugged. "Bill was hanging out with the kids. I didn't want to put up with him."

"Mm. There's a reason I was spending the holiday in the basement."

"Heh. Well, there's always Halloween."

They were silent for a moment, listening as the cassette moved on from organ music to werewolf howls. Stan asked, "Think we'll be rid of him by then? I know we were hoping to be done with him before the Fourth of July—but since I haven't heard anything lately, I figure you hit a roadblock."

Ford winced. "Guilty as charged." He was still relearning how to keep other people in the loop. Even Stan. "You're right. I have a weapon that can destroy him, but I can't find a fuel source without restarting the portal. I'm hoping Fiddleford will come up with a solution I haven't."

Stan nodded. Ford had told him he was getting Fiddleford involved; even as reluctant as Ford was to admit how little progress he'd made, he wasn't going to tell someone outside the family about Bill without letting Stan know. "Any breakthroughs on his end?"

####

During the credits between episodes of the retired samurai period drama (most recently, the samurai had been asked to use his sword to help cut flowers for a bouquet), Fiddleford leaned over and whispered to Ford, "So I've been a-lookin' at those blueprints you left me."

"And...?"

"And I've constructicated a power adaptor. Just jimmy out the fuel tank, swap it for the adaptor's cord, and you can power that weapon by pluggin' it into the wall! It'll just drain all the power from the town for a few seconds, that's all."

"Fiddleford, that's amazing—"

"Now, hold on. There's bad news," Fiddleford said. "Try as I might, I can't quite get it to draw enough power to activate those energy-destroying features what you'd need to disintegrate Bill. It'll work like a powerful laser, but nothin' else."

Ford sighed. "It's a starting point, I suppose."

"I'll send you home with the adaptor anyway. Never know when you'll need a big laser."

"Very true. Do you have any promising leads on other alternative fuels?"

Fiddleford shook his head. "It's the NowUSeeitNowUDontium or nothing. But I've got a hunch we could synthesize it under lab conditions. I'll letcha know in a few days."

And then the next episode started, and they dropped the conversation.

####

Ford let out a heavy sigh. "He's only had a partial success so far. But I'm hopeful he's on the right track."

"So, if he's working on this weapon, what are you doing?"

"Waiting, mostly. I don't know what else I can do."

Stan frowned. "What—that's it? You've been downstairs all day every day—if you're not figuring out how to destroy him, what are you doing?"

"Passing time somewhere I can be on call if he gets up to something—but I don't have to look at him," Ford said wryly. "And—as long as I'm waiting to hear back from Fiddleford, I've been... picking apart that list of spells Bill gave me. To see if any of them are tricks or traps."

Stan couldn't say he was surprised. That was his workaholic brother. A pamphlet of demon magic was like catnip to him. If anything, Stan was almost glad Ford had that letter to distract him. Over the past year...

Well, Ford was fine on land—when he temporarily had a mystery to solve, an adventure to pursue, an anomaly to study, a distraction to fill his time—but at sea, when his mind was unoccupied, he was listless. He had books he didn't read, field notes he didn't enter into his journal, games he didn't play. He fed himself and exercised and did chores around the ship like a robot programmed to take care of itself, and he stared out at the sea.

Last summer, Ford hadn't seemed happy but he'd seemed alive. Tired and angry, but alive. But after Weirdmageddon, a light in his eyes went out. Stan didn't know if it was the end of summer, or guilt over the memory gun, or the gap between finishing a thirty-year-long quest and discovering the next one. All Stan knew was the light hadn't come back on until the moment Bill Cipher, clad in a new body and a purple cartoon bedsheet, tried to cave Ford's skull in.

Ever since they were children, Ford had had a tendency to develop obsessions. It was somehow simultaneously both what made him most interesting and what made him boring. Depended on the obsession. But these all-consuming interests had always tended to last a few months, at most a year; and he'd never seemed to be without one, much less for nine months. Stan had no idea what carrying a single obsession for three decades might have done to Ford's mind.

Stan was glad something had woken Ford back up, and he worried that losing that focal point again might leave Ford permanently adrift. But another part of him worried that, this time, Ford wouldn't let the object of his obsession go. He tended to collect things related to his obsessions.

But then, he usually tended to like his obsessions. He hadn't seemed bothered to burn the contents of his creepy Bill shrine last summer. Ford wouldn't do anything stupid, Stan told himself. Ford hated Bill. "So? Were any of the spells traps?"

"Not... so far, no." Ford sounded irritated by this.

Stan shrugged. "Makes sense. He's trying to butter us up. If that idiot thinks being nice to us for a week or two is gonna make up for the years of grief he's given us—"

A loud rattle-clattering below made them both start. Stan sat bolt upright. "What the—?"

Ford inched to the edge of the dormer roof, knelt down, and leaned over the edge just far enough to see the window.

Bill's face was pressed to the glass, eye rolled up toward the roofline. He grinned in surprised delight and shouted through the glass, "HEY, STANFORD! What are you doing up here?! I thought you were downstairs!"

"Ugh." Ford turned to grimace at Stan. "Speak of the devil."

Bill pounded on the glass again. "Hey, Sixer! SIXER! Open the window!"

"Why?"

"I wanna talk!"

"No."

"Come ooon, the kids ditched me and I'm bored! There's no one in the house to talk to! The old lady's asleep and Stanley's on the roof, so—" He abruptly fell silent, squinting with deep suspicion at Ford-who-should-be-in-the-basement kneeling on the-roof-where-Stan-should-be, and said, "Wait. Are you Stanley right now? Show me your hand."

Ford did not. "Go away, Bill." He left the edge of the roof for his cooler seat.

"Get back here!" The pounding redoubled. "I don't care which Stan you are! If you don't wanna talk, I can always go wake up Dolores!"

Ford looked at Stan. "Mrs. Ramirez's name is Dolores?" He had gotten used to everyone calling her Abuelita.

Stan stomped on the roof, "Shaddup!"

Bill did not shaddup. "Come ooon!"

Stan sighed in defeat and heaved himself to his feet. "If he keeps that racket up he's gonna break that window, never mind that hex you put on him." When they'd taken out the original Bill-shaped window, Stan had replaced it with the cheapest window he could find. He didn't think it was very durable. "How much trouble can he get in with one open window twenty feet above the ground and both of us watching him?"

Ford Frowned.

"Don't gimme that look. Do you want to pay for a broken window?" Stan flipped through his keys for his key-shaped emergency lock pick, leaned over the edge of the roof, and wedged the pick into the window frame. The latch popped open. Lucky this window was so cheap, that wouldn't have worked on one with deluxe features like "airtight weatherstripping" or "a properly-fitting frame." Stan swung open the window. "Okay, you have our attention. Now what's the fastest way we can get rid of you?"

Bill clumsily climbed out to sit on the windowsill with his legs in the shack, and leaned back so he could see up onto the roof. "Hiya Fo—" He lost his balance, flailed, and yelped as he toppled backwards.

Stan and Ford lunged forward to seize an arm each. Stan snapped, "What are you doing, you maniac?!"

Bill stared up at them both in wide-eyed amazement. "You do like me."

Stan made a noise of disgust, let go, and wiped his hands on his pants like Bill had cooties.

Ford said, "We like you trapped in that body and not free to cause the apocalypse."

"I heard 'we like you'!"

"Shut up." Ford managed to haul Bill back upright. (Touching Bill felt wrong—all soft flesh and skin and the suggestion of bones underneath. Even when looking right at Bill's human body, Ford still expected him to feel like heavy shadows and heatless flames.) From this close, Bill reeked of cider. "Just how much have you had to drink?"

"Not so much I won't remember whatever you say in the morning, so be nice to me!" Bill laughed. He leaned back, this time hanging by one hand off the window frame to precariously maintain his balance, and grinned up at Ford. "So! The least fun person in the house has finally emerged from his lair? And you didn't even come into the house to join in the Summerween festivities! 'All work and no play'..."

Ford had to crouch at the edge of the roof, hovering nearby in case Bill lost his balance again. "I wanted to participate in Summerween, actually. It just so happens that the last person I'd ever spend a holiday with is in the house."

"Listen, Stanford. I know you're holing up in your study for days on end just to hurt me. But let's be honest, you're hurting yourself more! When's the last time you saw the sunlight! Look at how pale you're getting, you look like a vampire."

Stiffly, Ford said, "It's costume makeup. That's my vampire costume." Stan laughed.

"It what." Bill flipped up his eyepatch and squinted blearily at Ford's face.

Wordlessly, Ford bared his teeth to show off his plastic vampire teeth.

"Oh." Somewhat deflated, Bill said, "Nice work, it's convincing."

"Thanks," Ford said grudgingly. Giving in to his curiosity, he gestured toward Bill's (somewhat disheveled) reddish-yellow wig. "What are you."

"Oh!" Bill perked back up. "You've got to see the whole thing. Hold on—" He turned around in the window, ignoring how Ford half reached for him in case he needed steadying, until he got his legs outside to dangle on the roof. "What do you think!"

Ford looked over the brown toga flared out like a cone, the eruption of red hair, the small paper city below, and said, "Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii? Very clever."

Bill's face lit up. "Finally! You're the first person all day to get it!" He smoothed out the skirt proudly, his jerky gestures just a bit more exaggerated than usual. "Do you know how long I've wanted to go to a costume party as Vesuvius? But nobody off Earth would get it! And now that I'm finally here, I can't go to parties and I'm shaped more like a mandrake than a volcano." He flung up his hands, wobbled, and caught himself before Ford had to intervene. "But at least you got it. I knew I could count on you, IQ."

He sounded so sincerely grateful. Ford regretted calling the costume clever. It was, but Bill didn't need the ego boost.

"Oh! By the by—I didn't think you'd emerge before the day was over, so I saved this." Bill fished around in his toga until he retrieved a mini pack of jelly beans. "Here!"

Ford eyed the pack. "Why is it open?"

"Because you only like the weird-shaped jelly beans, so I ate all the normal beans and saved the weird ones in one bag."

"I don't want this. You touched every one of the beans, that would be disgusting even if they weren't coming from you," Ford said. "Anyway, this is a patently transparent attempt to buy your way into my good favor—"

"It sure is, Ford, and if you don't accept it I'll get to be annoying about your ingratitude for weeks! Is that what you want? You know I'll do it. Everyone will be on my side—"

Ford sighed, but snatched the bag from Bill's hand. "Fine. Now drop it."

"That's more like it!" Bill favored Ford with an approving smile. "Anyway, it's just about the only candy left in the house, I ate everything else—hey, have you ever been cross faded on cider and a sugar rush?"

Ford was still trying to decide whether he wanted to engage in this one-sided conversation enough to ask Bill what "cross faded" meant when Bill moved on without him: "It's—not that interesting, actually. 6 out of 10. Anyway, all that's left in the bowl is mints and wrappers. And Mabel even managed to give most of the mints away—hey, she's so nice, did you know she's helping to resurrect the Summerween Trickster?"

She was doing what? "No. Why?"

"She's so nice."

"You just said that."

"What is she so nice for. What's she getting out of it," Bill asked, more to the universe at large than to Ford. "If more humans were half as nice to freaks as she is, your rotten planet wouldn't need people like you and me to save it."

Ford didn't even know where to begin with that. He looked to Stan for help.

Stan was sitting straddling his lounger, elbow on one knee and chin in his hand, watching this exchange like he was watching a weird bug on the wall try to navigate around a picture frame. At Ford's glance, he rolled his eyes and pantomimed sipping from a drink.

He could say that again. Ford cleared his throat. "Bill, maybe you should..."

"Hey," Bill said. "Great talk, we really should catch up more sometime. And pull your weight next time, I always have to do all the talking. But right now, I'm..." He gestured vaguely off to the side. "I'm gonna lie down and try not to throw up. Ciao!" He swayed as he tried to get back in the window, tumbled backward into the shack, and thudded heavily on the floor. "Ow."

Ford gingerly shut the window.

Stan turned up the boombox. "Chatty drunk, isn't he."

"He's chatty sober, too." But in front of the kids? Neither of them saw Bill as a role model, but they still didn't need to be exposed to that kind of behavior. Especially when the responsible adults were outside or asleep... "Did we really leave Bill alone in the house with the kids?"

"W—I—" Stan shrugged defensively. "They were all right! They can take him! They're doing karate or whatever! You didn't see how Mabel flipped him at the mall! It was like David wrestling Goliath."

"David and Goliath didn't wrestle."

"You know what I mean."

Ford supposed he didn't think Bill was any threat to the children. At least, not right now, and not physically. He felt like he'd know if Bill was about to try anything.

He looked at his open bag of gross felt-up jelly beans. Speaking of trying to butter them up... Ford wound up and chucked the bag as hard as he could.

He stared into the dark after it.

A small part of him was beginning to wonder whether this wasn't all just an attempt to get Ford's guard down. The gifts, sure, that was as clear-cut a case of bribery as you could get. Nothing ambiguous there.

But the endless chatter... Back when Ford had called Bill his Muse, this was exactly how he'd wanted Bill to talk to him. Not in the flighty half-distracted way of a friendly businessman catching up on a work project's progress before hurrying on to the next meeting; but just talking for talking's sake, talking for the company.

Getting what he once had longed for made his skin crawl. And he couldn't even tell if Bill was acting.

The boombox let out a ghastly banshee shriek. Ford and Stan both jumped, then laughed awkwardly.

Ford sat on the cooler again. "Is it just me, or... did Bill completely ignore you as soon as he realized I was up here."

"Well. I wasn't gonna mention it. I didn't wanna sound jealous of the attention. But yeah—he's been doing that since he got here. If you're in the room, he tunes everyone else out."

"I thought it was in my head." And he hadn't wanted to sound like he wanted to imagine Bill was favoring him.

"And you do the same thing around him," Stan said, and laughed at Ford's flinch of alarm. "It's—it's fine, I get it. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? You've got some kind of superhero-supervillain nemesis thing."

Ford got the distinct impression that Stan was offering him a convenient excuse for the tunnel vision. He took it. "I suppose that's true." The way his jaw clenched and his shoulders tensed around Bill certainly felt like a "nemesis" reaction.

But if Stan thought Ford was a bit too preoccupied by Bill... well, maybe he was right. Once Ford had gotten over his initial wave of fear, of despair, of outrage at the injustice, at finding Bill was still alive—there was a part of him that was almost relieved. A part of him that had been on guard against nothing for the past year, twisting around looking for an absent threat. Now that it knew where the threat was, that part of him could finally settle down and watch Bill with steady, certain eyes. Having nothing to worry about made him more anxious than having one thing to always worry about.

(Maybe Shermie's kid had been on to something when he suggested Ford might benefit from therapy.)

Knowing Bill was back didn't put the old starlight and awe back in that hole Bill had left in Ford's chest. But dread could fill a hole all the same.

Ford tried to push Bill out of his mind and the conversation. "You think I'm like a superhero?"

"You run around fighting monsters with a space laser. What else would you be?"

"Huh." Well. That made his night.

"Just as long as you don't pull that 'hero spares the villain to show how good he is' shtick."

"Never." Ford laughed ruefully. "I think I left 'good' behind a few felonies back." He'd probably left "good" behind the night he accepted the portal blueprints.

"Couple stragglers," Stan said, nodding out into the dark. It took Ford a moment to spot the costumed kids and remember it was Summerween. "I recognize those costumes, I scared them off an hour ago. What are they doing back?"

Ford squinted at them. "Are those toilet paper rolls?"

"Wh—Hey! What are you little runts— Hey!" Stan leaped to his feet, shaking his fist at the kids below. "Get away from my car! Stop that! I'll have you know that's a classic— No, not the eggs!"

Ford slid out his freeze ray, turned down the power, and offered it to Stan. "Here. At this power and distance, it'll feel like getting pelted with invisible snowballs."

Stan snatched up the weapon. "Eat this, twerps!"

The Summerween night air was filled with the screams of terrified children and the evil laughter of an old man.

####

Wow. It sure sounded like everybody was having fun. Outside. Without him.

Bill was nauseous.

He stared at the spinning ceiling, flat on his back, one leg on a cushion and the rest of him on the floor.

Bill was nauseous and alone. The loneliness tore at his throat. Even Mabel had ditched him. Of course she did—he'd tried to kill her. He'd barely even remembered he'd tried to kill her until she brought it up. Had he tried to kill her? No, surely not—he liked the kid, he'd always liked her—he'd been faking to force Ford's hand, he never would have gone through with it. He would've teleported her into another room and pretended he'd disintegrated her. She didn't know he hadn't meant it. She was just mad he'd scared her. She couldn't take a joke.

But, Ford talked to him. Ford even liked his costume. It wasn't much, but it would get Bill through the night.

When he saw Kryptos again—when, not if—he was slicing him into a jigsaw puzzle for not taking Bill's call. The nerve of that guy, hanging up on a human without even waiting a few words to see if they had anything interesting to say.

(What if it hadn't been an accident, he wondered? What if Kryptos had realized it was Bill and still hung up?)

(No. Of course it was an accident.)

He shut his eyes. He was probably too drunk to dream tonight. Well, he could try again tomorrow. His little lucid dreaming guide was currently teaching him to influence the next night's dream by focusing on a topic before sleep. Maybe tomorrow he could dream about the Nightmare Realm.

He missed home.

####

(Congratulations to the approximately 50% of respondents who correctly figured out Bill's costume when I posted the art on Halloween, you're officially smarter than everybody in Gravity Falls except Ford. This is one of those chapters with a whole lot going on so if you enjoyed, I'd love to hear your comments!!)

#(tbh that's the best Mabel & Dipper I've ever drawn)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #mabel pines #dipper pines #(for both the art & fic)#grunkle ford #grunkle stan #(for just the fic)#gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #fanart #bill goldilocks cipher

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ur-fav-inactive-writer · 10 months

Text

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤

Pines family x platonic!reader

WC: 1109

Requested by: @kiyomi-uchiha777

Request: what if Bill because this dude is a psycho kills of sister reader after someone or something that made him angry. And what would be the reaction of the characters. Especially when being protective siblings before now losingey little sister

A/N: holy crap I haven't written anything in AGES, anyway, hope you enjoy this, also this will stray from canon a bit but ill try keep it as accurate as possible x

~*~*~*~*~

Bill held you tightly in-between his fingers, Mabel and Dipper clutched tightly in his others. You writhed and struggled but could not free yourself. You heard the desperate pleas of your great-uncles below you. You and your younger siblings attempted to free yourselves but the harder you tried to escape from Bill's grasp, the tighter he held onto you. Eventually, you and your siblings came to the realisation that you were not going to be freed without Bill freeing you himself. Your heart raced, your thoughts ran wild, your body was shaking intensely. The sound of your breathing picking up was only known to you, the shouts of your uncles drowning it out. Every sound inside your head came to an abrupt halt when the booming voice that belonged to Bill sounded throughout the room.

"I've got the kids~~~"

His voice had a hint of teasing to it, it made you feel nauseous. The look of horror that flashed across your uncles' faces caused hot tears to well up in your eyes.

"I think im gonna kill one of them now, just for the heck of it!"

The last part of that sentence seemed to cause time to stop. No, he couldn't do that, could he? The horrifying realisation hit you, at least one of the Pines' children would be dead in less than a minutes time.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No

Surely, he's just bluffing? He's trying to scare us, right? Your head whipped around to look at your dear brother and sister. Their expressions mirrored yours exactly.

None of you could live without one another. Especially the twins, how would Mabel be able to live without her twin brother there to warn and protect her from dangers she was too naïve to spot? How would Dipper live without his twin sister there to remind him to not overwork himself, to live in a better way? No, neither of them could live like that. But, could they live without you?

You squinted your eyes when a blinding, red light flashed throughout the room. The source of it was Bill's eye.

"Eeny. Meenie. Miny."

Symbols flashed each time a word fell from his mouth, each representing you and your siblings. First, a pine tree. Second, a shooting star. Thirdly, an angel. You were given the angel as your symbol since you were seen as the guardian angel of your siblings.

Perhaps that's why he stopped on you.

Symbols were no longer flashing, one stayed. The guardian angel. He was going to kill you. In less than a minute, you would be dead. You had no time to react before Bill snapped his finger and then,

you were dead.

~*~*~*~

Mabel and Dipper were dropped to the floor, along with your lifeless corpse. The sound of Stan and Ford's shouts rang throughout the room. Once they had recovered from the fall, Mabel and Dipper rushed to your body. Your eyes were closed, you looked so peaceful, so perfect. How could you look so perfect in a situation where its so far from perfect? Sobs fell from Mabels lips, throwing herself onto your body. Her big sister, gone forever. Dipper fell to his knees, too shocked to formulate a sentence or even a reaction. His face was blank as his chest rise and fell faster and faster, his breathing picking up rapidly. Screams and cries from Stan and Ford echoed around the room as their cage disappeared. They ran over to you faster than ever, falling to their knees the same way Dipper had.

No. No. No. How could he do such a thing? Why, why her? Why not Ford? Why not Stan? Why (Y/N)? Suddenly, a group of the townsfolk burst through the entrance, Bill too busy laughing at the sorrow he caused to notice such things. Fiddleford held the Quantum Distabiliser and fired it at Bill. Bill's form evaporated as all the weirdness surrounding everybody disappeared with Bill too. Everything was back to normal. Except, (Y/N) was gone.

The Pines' family found themselves in the woods. They ran, ran, and ran until they found your body. You were laying in a meadow, flowers surrounding your corpse, almost poetically. They fell beside your body and stared.

How could they possibly tell your parents their sweet, beloved daughter was just gone? How can they continue on, knowing that you're never going to come back? Knowing that they will never get to spend another moment in your lively presence? All they could do was cry, cry, cry.

~*~*~*~

Weeks had passed and your parents had come to Gravity Falls for your funeral. They saw it fitting you be buried here, where you spent the best summer of your life. The whole town had come in support. They hosted the funeral in that same meadow they found you in. Due to the grief, when they found you, the fact that you loved this meadow and went there almost daily slipped their mind. They found a swing you had crafted yourself on one of your trips here and surrounded it with flowers.

They buried you in that same spot they found you in, the same spot where they found you laying there with such a peaceful expression it almost made everything seem okay again.

After the funeral, the twins would visit that same spot constantly. Mabel would lay next to where you were buried and ramble about all her troubles for hours, knowing you'd be listening. Dipper would sit on the other side and write in his journal. After your passing, he had almost dedicated his journal to you. About how pretty, smart, caring and amazing you were in your life. Once he had finished his first journal about you, he dug up a small hole a few feet above where your coffin laid, and buried it there. To Dipper, he believed that burying it there would almost be like gifting it to you in the afterlife.

~*~*~*~*~

It had been years since your passing, all the Pines' still missed you dearly though. Not a day went by when they didn't think of you and your kind heart. Stan laid in his hospital bed, his health had been declining over those past few months. Mabel and Dipper sat beside him, the same way they did when you had died. He was dying, fast. They cried as they said their goodbyes, knowing he'd be gone soon. He assured them they'd be okay before taking his last breath. He reopened his eyes, looking towards the twins. Why couldn't they see him with his eyes open? Why were they still crying?

As he wondered these things, he saw a pale blue light in the corner, it was you.

"Long time no see Grunkle Stan."

~*~*~*~

A/N: SOBBING RN. also sorry if this isn't that great, i haven't written anything in a while but I still hope you enjoy! xx

#gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #ur fav inactive writer #gravity falls angst #gravity falls x reader angst #mabel pines #mabel pines x reader #mabel pines x sister!reader #dipper pines #dipper pines x reader #dipper pines x sister!reader #ford pines x reader #ford pines #ford pines angst #ford pines x reader angst #stanley pines #stan pines #stan pines x reader #stan pines x reader angst

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morally-grey-girlbosses · 7 months

Text

Propaganda under the cut.

Mabel Pines:

There's an entire episode where Mabel's arc is about how being pure of heart is actually a social construct and it ends with her declaring "Today I learned that morality is relative."

Raphaella la Cognizi:

She’s a scientist! She’s a little unethical times, but it’s all in the name of science, so certainly it must be okay. She sails on a spaceship called the Aurora with a crew of space pirates who sing about tales that they’ve both witnessed and potentially played a part in. She also has an absolutely gorgeous singing voice.

she does all of the science. all of it. yeah some of the stuff she's done is unethical but sometimes that's what's needed for information! also she has wings and can sing really well (listen to the mechanisms im begging). and then she jumped into a black hole when she died which is just a cool as hell way to die honestly. also she's an immortal space pirate and plays the keyboard. or uh. past tense because canonically she's dead. but also canonically the crew exists outside of chronological time which means she's alive in my heart forever <3

#poll #tournament poll #round 1 #mabel pines #gravity falls #raphaella la cognizi #raphaella mechanisms #the mechanisms #doctor carmilla and the mechanisms

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astro-b-o-y-d · 2 months

Text

Triangulum - Chapter 2- Unsettling In

— — — — — — —

“Dibs on being the first Pines inside the Shack!”

The old floorboards creaked lightly under Mabel’s weight as she bounded through the door, pausing only to drop her bags by the staircase before she continued on towards the living room. “Aww, I’ve missed this place!”

She jumped from the small doorway step to the carpet, twirling on her toes like a ballerina before she gestured to the television set. “Hello, ancient TV that only plays local access channels~!” Her gesture moved to the large dinosaur skull in the middle of the room. “Hello, weird T-Rex skull that we use as a coffee table for some reason~!”

She waggled her finger at the aquarium. “Hello, giant aquarium tank that only sometimes has an animal in it~!” she said with a giggle. “You can’t hide from me forever, Sir. Wiggleton the Pink!”

From the nearby couch where she had seated herself and Waddles, Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Sir. Wiggleton the Pink?”

“That’s what I call Stan’s axolotl,” Mabel explained matter-of-factly. “He’s very sneaky, and likes to hide a lot. I only got a good look at him, like, once last year!”

“Maybe he sneaks out when nobody’s looking?” Wendy suggested, then snapped her fingers with inspiration. “Ooh, what if he’s actually some kinda secret agent, one who goes out and fights bad guys? And that's why it's so hard for anyone to spot him in the tank, ‘cause he’s not always in the tank!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Mabel agreed enthusiastically. “Maybe he’s part of a whole secret organization of secret-agent animals! And they all wear funny little hats!”

While they laughed in unison over the idea, more creaking from the hallway floorboards drew their attention to the doorway. A moment later, Dipper’s body was propped against the frame for support, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he gulped down precious breaths of air.

Between the desperate attempts to catch his breath, he shot Mabel a sour look. “You know, most people might call ‘tripping your brother as he tries to pass you in the driveway’ something along the lines of—oh, I dunno, maybe something along the lines of—cheating?”

Mabel’s mouth curled into a coy little smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dipping Sauce~!” she said innocently. “Not my fault you don’t know how to avoid branches while you’re running.”

“You literally stuck out your leg as I was trying to pass you!” Dipper argued. “And then after I fell, you laughed about it once you were sure I wasn’t actually hurt and was only just mildly inconvenienced!”

From her spot, Wendy let out a cackle. “You tripped him? Brutal.”

“It was a branch!” Mabel insisted.

“A branch shaped like your leg!”

Mabel waved him away. “Oh, we can go on and on about things I did or didn’t do all we want—”

“You did do it.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered anyway!” Mabel continued, tossing her arms up in the air. “I still called dibs on being the first Pines to step inside, and you can’t go against dibs!”

“She has a point,” a voice spoke up behind Dipper, seconds before Ford stepped into the room. “The International Dibs Protocol is highly respected across countless dimensions, with millions of interdimensional beings valuing the weight it holds when it comes to ownership over specific affairs.”

He pressed a hand to his chin. “I believe at one point, there was even talk amongst the council members here in town about passing a law that would make adhering to said protocol mandatory. But the idea was scrapped before the House could ever lay an eye on it.”

“Yeesh, so this town’s just fine and dandy with people marryin’ woodpeckers or deciding ownership of a place based on whatever chump’s got the deed in their hands,” Stan called from out on the porch. “But you call dibs on something and suddenly that’s going too far—hey, hey! Knock it off, Soos, I’m not gonna look!”

He cast a miffed look to his right, where Soos had firmly remained throughout their entire walk up the driveway. His arms were spread out as wide as he could possibly get them, and he had even crab-walked up the porch beside Stan in an attempt to block something from his line of sight.

“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” he said, keeping his arms outstretched until both of them were safely inside the house. ”But I can’t risk you seeing anything on the other side of this building until I give everyone the tour later!”

Stan let out a gruff sigh as they joined everyone else in the living room. “Yeah, yeah, like I’m in any rush to jump right back into work stuff after a nine-month vacation.”

Soos gave him a pitiful look. “Wh-you mean you’re not excited for the tour of all the new exhibits and stuff?”

“...I said ‘right back into’, didn’t I?” Stan pointed out. “Gimme an hour, we’ll see where I’m at then.”

He moved to the couch, then paused with a look to Wendy. “They got all the rats outta this thing while we were gone, right?”

“Completely rat free,” she assured him, moving her hand to Waddles’ head for scritches. “Although you’re never gonna guess what happened after we chased the last of them out of the shack—”

“Well, that sounds like six voices,” a voice called from the kitchen, seconds before a woman peeked her head through the doorway. “Pretty sure that’s everyone, unless we’re also expecting the girls.”

“Negative,” Wendy replied, as Stan settled down next to her. “Mr. Pines put down a hard no on any sleepovers tonight. Well, any sleepovers with the under-fourteens, at least.”

“Dipper also put down a hard no,” Dipper added. “Also hey, Melody!”

“Melody! Hi!”

Mabel’s features lit up as Melody stepped out into the living room proper, and both twins rushed over to greet her further with a hug. “Hey, you guys!” she said, bending down to reciprocate. “Been a while, huh?”

“Sure has!” Dipper said with a hearty laugh.

“It’s so nice to see you again!” Mabel added with equal amounts of enthusiasm. “How’ve you been?”

“I also think it’s nice to see you again!”

Before Melody could answer, all three suddenly found themselves lifted up from the ground. “I know we were only gone for, like, fifteen minutes or so,” Soos said, hugging all of them close to him. “But still, that’s enough time to miss someone, right?”

Despite most of her face being squished against his own, Melody smiled up at him. “Well, fifteen minutes is about the same amount of time it takes to complete Ladybug on Dancey-Pants Revolution—” She paused and wriggled an arm free to tick off her fingers. “—what, five times? Five and a half? Just saying, that feels like an eternity when you’re trying to hit a perfect combo, doesn’t it?”

“That is so true,” Soos said with a nod. “You have such a way with words, babe.”

A squeak of delight drew their attention to the teenagers smushed between their bodies. “Hehe, you guys are adorable!” Mabel piped up. “And nerdy!”

“Also you’re kind of squishing us,” Dipper added with a wheeze.

With an apologetic smile, Soos lowered the group back down to the floor. “Sorry, dudes! Got so caught up in giving Melody a hug, that I kinda missed you were there.”

“Don’t worry, I’m okay,” Mabel assured him as she straightened out her clothes. “Being squished like that made me feel like the ham and cheese in a lovey-dovey sandwich!”

She gave a nudge to her brother’s arm with her elbow. “Guess that makes Dipper the lettuce and tomatoes!”

“What? Why am I the vegetables?” Dipper asked.

Mabel shrugged with a smile. “Because even if they’re not the most exciting ingredients, it just doesn’t feel like a proper sandwich without them,” she explained, pressing her hands together as if she were forming a sandwich herself. “But you gotta put ‘em between the meat and cheese, otherwise their veggie juices get mixed in with the condiments. Then bread gets all soggy and fall-apart-y and the sandwich is just inedible at that point.”

“Okay first of all, rude and gross. Second of all, that is a very weird analogy which explains nothing.”

He pressed a hand to his stomach. “Although weirdly enough, it is making me hungry.”

“Good thing I got a head start on dinner before everyone got here,” Melody said. “In fact, I just checked the timer and there’s only a few minutes left before I need to pull it out of the oven—oh, by the way, lasagna from a box is fine with everyone, right?”

She directed her question both to the kids and to the group that had gathered by the couch, earning her a nod from Ford. “Fine with me. Meals that require minimal effort to prepare have sustained me since my college years, and I see no issue with continuing that trend now.”

“Long as there’s no fish involved, I’ll eat anything,” Stan assured her.

Wendy, who had distracted herself with scritching the spot between Waddles’ ears, looked to him. “Got sick of seafood out there on the open ocean, Mr. Pines?”

“Got sick of badly-prepared seafood.”

Stan shot a pointed look to his brother. “Apparently somebody can rip out the spine of a zombified fishman from the ‘Walking Bullhead Dimension’—”

“We’re gonna start this again, Stanley?” Ford interrupted, giving him an flat-but-amused look that implied they had discussed this topic countless times before.

“—but you give the guy a regular tuna to debone, and suddenly it’s all ‘Oh, this is ~soooo~ hard!’” Stan continued in a jestful tone. “‘I’m gonna make my twin brother nearly choke on a rib bone! Or two. Or five.’”

“Their spinal cords are more delicate than what I’m used to handling,” Ford insisted. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person—oh, uh, make some room?”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Stan made a gesture with his hand for Wendy to move. “Hey, scooch over and put the pig on the floor so we can all sit down.”

“I can take him off your hands now, Wendy,” Mabel said, holding her arms open. “Although he’ll probably end up on the floor anyway; I know he’s been dying to root around in the carpet for burrito bite crumbs again!”

While Wendy readjusted and passed Waddles back to his owner, Ford seated himself comfortably next to Stan. “As I was saying,” he continued. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person resembles our own more than that of a non-anthropomorphized fish from our dimension. This size increase in bone structure makes it far easier to get a grip on their spinal column and just—” He made a tearing motion with his hands. “—rip it straight from the body—”

He paused and looked to the younger twins. “Only when such drastic measures are necessary to take, of course. Had the dimension been populated by living anthropomorphized fish people, I would not have resorted to ripping out anyone’s spines.”

Stan lightly bumped his knuckles against Ford’s arm. “Heh, sounds like a buncha fancy-schmancy excuses from a guy who never learned how to properly work a pair of fish tweezers,” he said, making small, pinching motions with his fingers. “What’s wrong, Poindexter? Thought you were used to usin’ delicate sciencey tools out in the field with your dainty little sciencey grip.”

“Nothing about my science or my grip has been dainty in over thirty years, and I think you know that.”

“Yeah, tell that to the octopus babe you tried to hook up with off the coast of Australia! When’d she leave again, less than half-an-hour into the date?”

While Ford responded with his own playful fist to the arm—one that Stan cackled loudly at in return—Mabel knelt to the carpet and set Waddles at her side. “Aww, it’s nice to see you two getting along so well now!” she said sweetly. “Does that mean no more fighting? I mean, actual fighty-fighting and not play fighting?”

“Psh, please, let’s not go that far,” Stan replied, with a wave of his hand. “Of course we’re gonna fight, we’re siblings. Or are you forgetting how you tripped your brother out there in the driveway?”

“It was a bra~anch!” Mabel insisted in a singsong tone.

Dipper gave her a flat look. “Still gonna go with that excuse, huh?”

“Yeah-huh~! Also it’s not an excuse.”

With a wink to them, Stan snaked an arm around his brother’s shoulder. “But if anyone’s worried about a repeat of last year’s performance, don’t be!” he assured them. “Nine months of punching sea monsters and nabbing treasure from sirens have made us thick as thieves, just like old times!”

“While Stanley’s claims are a touch exaggerated, he’s not wrong,” Ford replied. “Despite our petty bickering over fish preparation, there’s nothing quite like spending months out on the open seas with someone to remind you of what’s really important in life. Sailing around the world on the adventure of a lifetime—”

He cast a small smile in his brother’s direction. “—well, it puts a lot of things in perspective.”

With a faux look of disgust, Stan pushed him away. “Ugh, why’d you have to go and make what I said all sappy? What, you wanna make the kids blow chunks on their first day back?”

While the kids giggled at this response, Ford nudged him in retaliation again. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, we could always go back to our petty fish arguments,” he said with a smug look. “You’ve harped on my inability to properly debone a fish, yet you act as if you didn’t completely butcher the deboning of those seatrout we caught along the coast of Florida.”

“Hey, hey, I plead the Florida loophole!” Stan insisted. “Which clearly states that if anything funky happens within the Florida boundaries, it was caused by the fact that we were near Florida.”

He folded his arms firmly across his chest. “Can’t be blamed for anything when we’re sailin’ through territory that could give this town a run for its money in weirdness.”

“Oh, you two were down in Florida?” Melody piped up. “That’s exactly where Abuelita headed a few days ago!”

“She won a free trip in a bingo game,” Soos explained with a look of pride. “Man, you should’ve seen how jealous Agnes and Bertha got when she held up her winning card—”

The ringing of a timer from the kitchen turned everyone’s heads to the doorway. “Oh, sounds like the food’s done,” Melody said. “Better go ahead and start plating.”

“Need an extra hand?” Soos asked.

“Mmm, I think I can manage slicing up lasagna by myself,” she assured him, before casting another look at the group. “Besides, I know how excited you were for everybody to get here, and I wouldn’t dream of pulling you away from everything just to help me slop some food on a plate.”

Soos moved his hands to her shoulders with a solemn expression. “I love you. So much.”

With a chuckle, she leaned up to kiss his cheek before turning back to the kitchen. Once she disappeared out of sight, Soos let out a warm sigh. “Isn’t she the best?” he asked to no one in particular.

Stan turned to Wendy with a raised eyebrow. “So them bein’ all lovey-dovey with each other,” he said. “Is that a rare thing or am I gonna have to actually start stockin’ up on eyeball bleach for the summer?”

“Told you to keep it in mind earlier,” Wendy said, hand on her hip. “Also, you call that ‘lovey-dovey’? Kisses and random compliments for the other when they’re not even in the room barely crack a three or four on the Soos-Melody Romance scale.”

She tilted her head in thought. “Though I guess it’s been more about quantity than quality lately. Can’t go five minutes without one of them trying to smother the other person in affection because of…reasons.”

She raised a finger to her mouth before casting a look over at Soos, who smiled and pressed a finger to his own mouth in return. Leaving the Pines family to watch them with raised eyebrows and tilted heads. “Well, that’s not cryptic or anything,” Ford said.

“Yeah, what’re you two hiding?” Dipper asked.

“C’mon, spill the beans!” Mabel added, with a quick glance around the living room before she followed up with: “...If there were any opened cans of beans lying around, you know I’d poke ‘em over for dramatic effect!”

“Hehe, that’d be so funny,” Soos said amusedly. “It’d be like…a callback or something! But sorry, dudes, no beans of any kind can be spilled at the moment. Whether it’s beans of the secret variety, or just the ones in a can.”

“Why not?” Mabel asked.

“I mean, I think we ran out of them yesterday so you can’t spill what—”

“The secret part, Soos,” Dipper clarified.

“Oh, that!” Soos pressed a hand to the back of his neck with a tender look. “Well, it’s kind of a big deal, y’know? And I wanna wait until Mel and I can tell you together.”

“Yeesh, this secret of yours must be big big,” Stan said with a loose chuckle. “What, are the two of you getting married or some…thing—”

The mild amusement in his tone faded as the punchline he was waiting for never seemed to come, while the giddiness in Soos’ expression only seemed to blossom further. His cheeks had brightened to a light shade of red and he’d pressed hand over his mouth as he tried—and failed—to hide the smile that was quickly taking over his entire face.

Wendy also slapped a hand over her mouth to hide her smile—her entire upper half trembling as if she were holding back the biggest laugh of her life—while a deafening silence of realization overtook the rest of the Pines family.

“Alright, who wants the first two plates?”

It was Melody who finally broke the silence, having returned to the doorway with a paper plate of lasagna in each hand. “Again, I would’ve prepared something better for a welcome-back dinner, but with Abuelita out of town and the party tomorrow—”

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!”

Mabel’s words were punctuated by an ear-piercing scream—one that earned slapped hands to the ears of everyone except for Melody and Soos—and she flung herself around the neck of the latter to hug him tightly. “You guys are getting married! I can’t believe it!”

Dipper hurried to join in the hugging of Soos with a hearty laugh. “Congratulations, Soos! I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Can I be the flower girl?” Mabel prattled on. “Can Waddles be the ring bearer?!”

“What?! Why Waddles?” Dipper asked, then looked to Soos hopefully. “Can I be the ring bearer?!”

Melody stared at the sight with a look of mild confusion, to which Soos shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, babe,” he said meekly, and slung an arm around both of them. “Guess my poker face needed a little work.”

She chuckled in response, and went to set the plates down on the t-rex skull. “Well, I guess that’s one way to spill the beans.”

“YEAH! I spilled the beans!” Mabel said delightedly, pumping a fist in the air. “The metaphorical beans!”

“I mean, technically Stan was the one to spill them,” Wendy said, flashing Stan a grin. “You should’ve seen the look on your face, dude, it was priceless!”

This earned her a pair of narrowed eyes from Stan. “Hey, hey, what’s with you and the jokes today? You should be a little more respectful to the guy who used to sign your paychecks.”

“Mmm, are you going to be signing my paychecks again now that you’re back?”

Stan opened his mouth to respond, before the implication behind her reply snapped his attention right back to Soos and Melody. “Woah, woah, hold on, go back a sec—you’re telling me that you two are actually tyin’ the knot?”

Melody held out her hand, an engagement ring with a beautiful, purple gemstone resting comfortably on her finger. “End of the summer’s our set date,” she confirmed. “Oh, not the end end of summer; Soos told me that the kids’ birthday was the last day of August, and he didn’t want to take the spotlight away from their special day with our special day.”

“Aww, what? Booo!” Mabel protested as she hopped down from Soos’ arms. “Come on, we can share the day with you guys! Right, Dip?”

“Yeah!” Dipper agreed. “If there’s anything that’ll make our birthday better, it’ll be sharing it with your wedding day!”

Soos pressed a hand to each of their heads with a warm smile. “Aww, man, now I kinda wish we did!” he said, with a hopeful look to Melody. “You don’t think we could—”

“Normally I’d say yes in a heartbeat,” Melody said. “But we’ve already booked the photography, and you know how they are about rescheduling at the last second.”

“But don’t you guys have three months?” Dipper pointed out.

“To a wedding photographer, rescheduling earlier than five months counts as last minute,” Melody explained. “Especially if your set date’s in the summertime; they’re usually pretty swamped from June to the middle of September.”

“You shoulda gone for a Vegas wedding,” Stan said. “You get in, get out in an hour tops and all you need is a witness.”

He crossed his arms with a scowl. “And I guess you’ll need a safe for your valuables, in case the broad’s only marryin’ you for your winnings and plans on running off with ‘em in the middle of the night. …On second thought, don’t get married in Vegas.”

“Well, thankfully I don’t have any plans to go running off with any of Soos’s valuables, so there’s nothing to worry about there,” Melody said, taking a look around the room. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the majority of his valuables are sitting right in this very room, and I don’t think I could carry most of you.”

This earned her a chorus of ‘aww’s from the kids and Soos, and a retching gag from Stan. “Yeesh, forget the eye bleach thing, I’m gonna need something to scrub out my ears with after hearing that.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Wendy said, rising to her feet. “You still want some help with the food, Mel? I’ll do it just so Mr. Pines has an excuse to stop complaining about all the mushy stuff.”

Melody pressed a hand to her mouth to try and stifle back another laugh. “Sounds like a plan,” she said, and gestured for Wendy to follow.

While Wendy hurried after her—Stan glowering at her until she was out of his line of sight—the kids continued to swarm Soos with questions. “So where are you guys holding the wedding?” Mabel asked, hands folded together. “Ooh, lemme guess! Uh, uh—the arcade? No, that’s not romantic enough. Hoo-Ha Owl’s Pizzamatronic Jamboree? Since it’s where you had your first date?”

“Here at the Mystery Shack?” Dipper guessed. “Or, you know, a regular church?”

Soos pointed at him. “Ding ding ding, Dipper got it! Or, uh, he was right with the first guess.” He tossed his hands in the air. “We’re gonna have it here at the Mystery Shack! We’re gonna make some space outside, maybe put the alter over in that spot by the totem pole—it’s gonna look so good!”

“Well, I know I’m happy for both of you,” Ford spoke up from his spot on the couch. “I mean, I might not know either of you very well. But from the little I’ve seen of you two together, this is clearly a big deal and I’m honored that we get to share this opportunity with you.”

Soos turned to him with a surprised, yet touched expression. “Wh—aww, thanks, Dr. Pines,” he said, placing a hand on his heart. “That actually means a lot, coming from you.”

Ford blinked in confusion. “It…does?”

“Well…yeah,” Soos said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I know you didn’t plan for this place to become the Mystery Shack when you built it. But because it became that, I was able to meet Mr. Pines, and then Dipper and Mabel—” He began to tick off his fingers. “—and they were able to help me learn how to get a date, which led me to meeting Melody at the mall—”

He paused, looking to his hand. “Hey, should I count the whole ‘killer video game girlfriend’ thing in there somewhere, or was that more just a…thing that happened and isn’t really connected to all of this?”

“Definitely more of a side thing,” Mabel said. “Like, it happened, but I think connecting it back to the shack is a bit of a stretch.”

“The very weird point they’re to make is that none of this would’ve happened without you building the shack to begin with, Grunkle Ford,” Dipper said with a smile in his direction. “So in a way, a lot of this is because of you!”

“This wouldn’t be possible without help from our friend here!”

Ford’s smile vanished, nails gripping the arm of the couch tighter than he’d intended as the shrill, high-pitched sound of Bill’s voice echoed through his mind. Cruel tauntings mixed with the vicious laughter of his surrounding henchman, all while he struggled desperately against the invisible binds that held him in the air—

“Grunkle Ford, is everything alright?”

Mabel’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, a expression of worry painted across her features. Not only hers, but Dipper was giving him a mildly concerned look as well.

Ford let out a slow exhale of air through his nose to steady himself. It was just a horrible, fleeting memory, as were all his memories of Bill. Outside of his nightmares, he had managed to keep a lid on most of them for the past nine months whenever they managed to snake their way to the front of his mind.

That’s all it was, just another bad memory. No need to dwell on it, especially not now.

“I’m fine,” he reassured the rest of the group with a smile. “I was just about to say that I don’t know if I would go that far with the compliments. I mean, Stanley’s the one who put all the time and effort into making this place what it is today, isn’t he?”

He looked to his right, an identical pair of eyes meeting his own as the older Pines twins stared at each other in silence.

While he and Stan had only been reunited for less than a year, falling back into the habit of picking up on Stan’s mannerisms had almost been second instinct for Ford. Despite the forty year gap between their teenhood and the present, so much of the way that Stan presented himself hadn’t changed in the slightest.

So naturally, Ford had also picked back up the ability to distinguish when Stan was hiding his displeasure with a situation.

It didn’t happen often; Stan had always been the kind of person to openly and fervently vocalize his complaints at the slightest inconvenience. A behavioral habit he had possessed since they were young boys—such a thought sent an uncomfortable wave of nostalgia rippling through Ford’s chest—and one that had clearly stayed with him throughout the years—more uncomfortable waves in his chest of a different sort.

So whenever Stan made the choice to to keep his grievances to himself, it usually meant there was more bubbling under the surface. More than he was willing to let anyone see.

And the way that his features had shifted, jaw clenched and a rigid look behind his eyes that was easy to miss if you blinked—

“Yeah, the heck am I? Chopped liver?”

Before Ford could think to question Stan, he’d already turned back to the group with an affronted look. “Or are you knuckleheads forgettin’ who even started this whole business to begin with?”

This sent a wave of laughs through the trio. “Of course we didn’t, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel assured him. “We’d never forget about you!”

“Of course not!” Dipper added with a laugh.

“Not for a second!” Soos added. “In fact, I was actually about to ask you—”

“More plates coming through~!”

Melody and Wendy reentered the living room, a plate in each of their hands. “Alright, dorks, come and get these before I eat them,” Wendy joked, passing both plates in her hands to the younger twins.

“And one for you,” Melody said, handing one of hers to Soos with another kiss on the cheek.

This got a small hum of delight from Soos, which was accompanied by another eye roll from Stan as he leaned forward to take one of the plates off the skull table. “Eugh, on second thought, I don’t want any sorta credit for this mush fest,” he said, bringing it to his lap. “In fact, unless you got more happy news to tell us, I’m turnin’ my attention to this mush fest instead.”

To emphasize his pun, he brought the back of his fork down onto the lasagna with an audible squishing sound, before shoving a large bite into his mouth. “‘Sides, the sooner we eat, the sooner we get to see Soos’s big, fancy shack tour, right?”

His point seemed to encourage the kids to dig into their own plates as well, although not without bombarding the happy couple with more wedding-related questions. Wendy, in the meanwhile, had realized that she was the only person left without any food and headed back to the kitchen to fetch herself a plate of her own.

Leaving the remaining plate on the dinosaur skull, one growing colder by the minute, for Ford to take.

He leaned forward to pull it to his lap as well, unable to resist giving Stan a glance out of the corner of his eye as he did. Stan’s expression had returned to a more relaxed look as he dug into his food, any previous signs of distress now nothing more than a memory.

Settling back into place with his plate, Ford turned his attention back to the group—specifically Dipper and Mabel as they laughed along with whatever Soos was telling them through a mouthful of lasagna.

None of them had expressed any further concern for Stan’s behavior after it had happened, and the three of them had spent far more time with Stan than he had in the past thirty years. Sure, the two of them had spent the past nine months together out at sea, but the kids had gotten to know him over the course of the previous summer. And Soos had practically spent all of his childhood and young-adulthood around him.

If they had failed to noticed anything was wrong with him, did that mean that Ford had misinterpreted his reaction completely? If one of Stan’s closest employees and family members—people who had been around Stan for far longer than he had in the past few decades—hadn’t noticed anything wrong with him, then maybe there was actually nothing to notice at all?

“Ho-ho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart!”

…Then again, he did have experience in not picking up on the obvious.

His grip on the fork tightened as he stabbed it into the remaining lasagna on his plate, letting out another slow exhale in the process. It was like Stan had said earlier at the bus stop. If the two of them showed any signs of stress regarding the events of the previous summer, then it was sure to stress out the kids as well.

He raised the fork to his mouth. And it was like he had said; It was a new summer. A chance for everyone to start over, and for them to start over together.

“We don’t have to do anything alone ever again, right?”

“We don’t have to do anything alone. Not now, not ever again.”

If there was anything truly wrong with Stan, he would say something. They could talk things out, find a solution together.

As he bit down on the lasagna, however, he couldn’t stop his gaze from uncertainly shifting back to his brother.

—right?

— — — — — — — —

“Remind us again why we’re wearin’ blindfolds?” Stan asked.

“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Mabel piped up, and reached her hands out in front of her to blindly grasp at the air. “Are you going to make Grunkle Stan drive us somewhere with his blindfold on?”

“I strongly advise against anything of the sort,” Ford said quickly.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure Soos just wants us to be surprised by all the new stuff he’s added to the shack,” Dipper pointed out, and looked towards where he had heard Soos’s voice. “Isn’t that right, Soos? …I think I’m looking at you, I can’t actually tell.”

“You got it, dude!” Soos said, giving him a thumbs up before adding as an afterthought: “By the way, you can’t see it but I gave you a thumbs up!”

Dipper gave him a thumbs up in return, while Stan folded his arms across his chest. “Yeesh, with how much you’re hyping this thing up, it better end with a boatload of cash.”

He flipped his thumb in the direction of the parked car and boat situated a short distance from the group. “And don’t think I don’t know how much a boatload is, we got the Stan-O’-War 2 parked right over there for reference.” A pause. “I’m pretty sure it’s over there, at least.”

“It is,” Soos assured him. “Alright, is everyone ready?”

Dipper gave a nod. “We’re ready, Soos!”

“Yeah, knock us dead, Mr. Mystery!” Mabel added encouragingly.

After a quick glance down at the stack of flashcards in his hands, Soos looked back to the waiting Pines with a big smile. “Greetings, ladies, gentlemen, and other assorted tourists,” he began in a rehearsed tone. “First of all, the Mystery Shack family would like to offer you a hearty welcome to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon��”

He winked at them. “Or I guess I should really say welcome back to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon! …‘Cause, like, you all came back to the town after leaving—”

Stan pressed a hand to his forehead. “You’re really gonna give us the entire pitch first, huh?”

From off to the side where her and Wendy were situated, Melody perked up at his remark. “He’s been waiting ages to show it to you,” she called to them. “He barely got any sleep last night out of excitement!”

“I kept opening my eyes and hoping it was finally morning,” Soos admitted with a bashful smile.

“Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always saying that buttering up the chumps that come through here is a good way to get them to toss more money at us?” Wendy added. “Why do you care if he gives you the entire pitch first?”

“Hey, never said I didn’t approve of it,” Stan clarified. “I especially like the part where he refers to the staff as a family.”

He gave a theatrical wave of his hands. “Paints a mental picture in those chumps’ minds. A picture that says ‘Hey! The people at this place must be really close if they’re callin’ themselves a family! And if they’re a family, they must have a bunch of hungry kids to feed! Let’s toss all the money in our wallets at them…for the children!’”

“Probably helps that you actually made us dress up like ‘the abnormally hungry twins’ for an exhibit last year.” Dipper cast a flat look towards Stan, then to verbally emphasize his point: “Which I will not be doing again this year.”

Stan waved him away with a scoff. “‘Course not; those extra inches on your height won’t make you pass as anything more than a starving teenager. And people aren’t as taken in by teenagers in need as they are kids.”

“An unfortunate fact, but a true one,” Wendy chimed in again. “Now shh, Soos worked really hard on preparing this speech!”

“Thanks, Wendy,” Soos said. “But I don’t mind any interruptions, especially not from Mr. Pines! If there’s anything my online forums taught me, it’s that running a business is like writing a fanfiction: healthy criticism informs me of the areas I can improve on, and makes me feel good about the areas I’m already doing well in!”

He tapped his chin. “There’s also a lot of overlap between the two when it comes to people who want to learn about how to romance a werewolf,” he mused with a chuckle. “Turns out the secret is just buying a lot of beef jerky, they go nuts for the stuff—”

“Keep it on track, Soos,” Stan interrupted with a roll of his hand.

“Gravity Falls, Oregon,” Soos continued. “A mysterious and strange town, full of mysterious and strange beings. Whether they’re human, animal, vegetable, mineral, something in between or something else entirely, the one thing they all have in common is that they call this town home.”

He tossed an arm in the air to gesture at the building behind him. “And lucky for you, our totally awesome family here at the Mystery Shack is happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the…not-mysterious—”

He made a so-so motion with his hand. “This part’s a little rough, but we’re working on smoothing it out. I know there’s a good M-word that would fit there, I just can’t remember off the top of my head.”

Ford pressed a hand to his mouth, before he spoke up with a suggested: “Mundane?”

Soos’s features brightened with inspiration and he shot a finger gun in Ford’s direction. “Boom! That’s the one!” he said, fetching a pencil from his pocket. “Thanks, Dr. Pines! …By the way, I shot you a finger gun. If you don’t know what that is—‘cause of all the time away from our dimension—I can tell you! It’s when you take your finger and—”

“No need to explain, Soos,” Ford assured him. “The concept speaks for itself.”

While Soos scribbled a few edits onto his flashcard, Melody raised a hand from her spot. “Sorry to interrupt your speech, Soos, but I just want to make sure I’m getting things right now that everyone’s here.”

She pointed a finger at the Stans, shifting it back and forth between them. “Mr. Pines is the founder of the Mystery Shack and Dr. Pines is the one who actually owns it, right?” she asked with a shrug. “Or—well, I know that technically we own it since we have the deed to the building, that’s such a weird law for this town to have—”

“You have no idea,” Stan added.

“—but you get what I mean, right? Dr. Pines is the name on the deed?”

“I gotcha, and you’re right!” Soos clarified. “Mr. Pines founded the mystery shack and Dr. Pines is the one on the deed.”

He turned to face her completely. “If it helps, you could try remembering it like this: Mr. for mystery and Dr. for deed to the shack!”

Melody considered this for a moment. “Oh, that does help, actually. It’s like a stalactite/stalagmite kind of thing.”

“You could also just call them Stan and Ford,” Mabel added. “Ooh, or Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford like we do!”

“I mean, technically they aren’t her great-uncles,” Dipper pointed out. “So that wouldn’t really make sense.”

With a tut, Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “Please, the title of Grunkle is less about being a great-uncle, and more of a state of mind.”

“...Yeah, the state of mind where you’re a great-uncle,” Dipper said pointedly. “Hence the combination of the two words.”

“You can call us whatever you please,” Ford spoke up. “Clearly there are plenty of options to choose from, and all are accurate to some degree.”

He pressed a hand to his chin. “Although I will admit that it’s been a long time since anyone has referred to me as Dr. Pines. It was far more common for people to call me that for the first few years after I finished college.”

“You know what, I’ll experiment with a few different names, see what sticks,” Melody said, then turned her attention back to Soos. “Sorry, babe, didn’t mean to interrupt. Go ahead and keep going.”

“Never hurts to double check,” Soos assured her. “Plus since the two of them are part of the Shack’s history, it doubles as a tour question! Ooh, we should write that into the speech, too—”

There was another pause as he scribbled something down on his flashcards. “See, that’s another reason I wanted to show you guts the tour as soon as possible,” he said to the Pines. “I’m adding so much that’s gonna knock the next group of tourists that hears it on their butts! Okay, let’s see, where was I—”

“Mysterious and mundane,” Dipper reminded him helpfully.

“Thanks, dude! As I was saying before, we here at the Mystery Shack are happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the mundane—”

He playfully waggled a finger in Ford’s direction, before tossing his free hand in the air. “And hopefully after today’s tour, you’ll all be able to walk across that bridge alongside us! Welcome to the Mystery Shack!”

He squinted down at his flashcards again. “Is…is that good for a welcoming statement?” he asked. “Did I do a good job? Do you feel invested to learn more about what awaits in this fine establishment?”

“Oh, I know if I had a wallet full of money, I’d be tossing fistfuls at you right now,” Mabel said supportively, and dug a hand into the pocket of her skirt. “Ooh, wait, I might have some glitter I can toss instead—”

After blindly feeling around for a moment, she pulled her hand out with a with a disappointed look. “Aw, nope, false alarm,” she said, opening her palm to reveal a squished, blue blob. “Just my wad of that sticky stuff teachers use to hang up posters that I stole over the school year~!”

She dropped it in her pocket again and gave the side a pat. “Just gonna tuck that back where it belongs~!”

“And I’m always ready to learn more,” Dipper added. “So you don’t need to do much to convince me!”

“Sounds like a yes to me, Mr. Mystery,” Melody said. “We good to move on to the next part of this tour?”

“You know it!” Soos said, before looking back to the Pines. “Okay so that part of the speech would normally be followed up with me leading everyone over to the exhibits area and showing all of them off.”

His gaze moved to the Stans. “But I know you wanted a quiet evening without tourists or sleepovers or parties—”

“We did,” Stan confirmed.

“I didn’t,” Mabel argued with a pout. “I’ll bet Candy and Grenda would’ve had so much fun on the tour!”

“Oh, they’ve taken it many times!” Soos assured her. “They’re practically honorary employees at this point, and sometimes they even help with the new exhibits!”

At this information, Mabel’s pout was immediately replaced with a cutesy smile and she squished her hands to her cheeks. “Aww, of course they do! Can we see some of the ones they helped with?”

“Well, uh—like I was saying, we knew Mr. Pines wanted at least one evening before all the loud stuff,” Soos said. “So we ended tours early for the day and sent everyone from the exhibits home.”

The Pines exchanged a series of confused, blindfolded looks, before Dipper vocalized their confusion with an: “Everyone?”

Soos looked to Melody and Wendy, who nodded in unison. “We sent everyone home,” he continued to the Pines. “But we still wanted to give you all a taste of the kind of tours we’d normally give on a regular basis! So Melody had the brilliant idea to leave out the empty displays and do a fake tour before cleanup!”

He gestured for them to follow. “If you really want to know more, you’re gonna have to come look for yourselves~! And to look for yourselves, you’re gonna have to follow me!”

“Refusing to explain further until we take the tour for ourselves?” Stan gave a proud nod. “Good, good, you’re reelin’ us in…”

“Uh, Soos?” Dipper said, and pointed to his blindfold. “How can we follow you if you can’t see?”

Soos froze, and pressed a hand to his forehead. “Oh, duh, forgot about that!” he said, and thought for a moment. “Uh…just carefully follow the sound of my voice and footsteps?”

He began to walk backwards, making wide gesturing motions with his hands as they blindly followed him. “Alright, dudes, just keep walking forward—oop, careful of that crack in the ground, Dipper! Okay, just a little further—”

“Still don’t understand why we can’t just take the blindfolds off,” Stan said, taking a few bold steps forward—

—and letting out a grunt of pain as he stepped on a small rock. “Also, since when did Soos know to call you Dr. Pines?” he asked, kicking the rock to the side. “Don’t remember you ever tellin’ him to do that.”

He directed the last remark at Ford, who was carefully toeing the dirt in front of him before taking a step. “Well, I did mention my college years back when I first stepped out of the portal,” he reminded Stan. “Perhaps he took that fact and came to the conclusion that using the Dr. prefix would be appropriate, given my numerous PhDs.”

Stan’s expression shifted for a moment. “Oh yeah, that did happen, didn’t it,” he said, before shaking his head. “Yeah, given your whole science guy thing, I’ll bet he woulda called you Dr. Pines even if you didn’t have the credentials for it.”

“I would’ve!” Soos confirmed helpfully.

“Ooh, Mabel just had a fun idea!” Mabel piped up, and pressed her hands together. “What if we called you Dr. Grunkle Ford?”

She smiled cutely in Ford’s direction, despite being unable to see him. “I’ll bet one of those PhDs is from mastering the study of Great-Uncle-ing, isn’t it? Hmm~?”

“Well, if we’re getting into the specifics,” Ford began. “The field of studies I majored in were biology, archaeology—dabbled in Hyper-Advanced Engineering and Fifth-Dimensional Calculus for three semesters, deeply regret trading the rest for an extra semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory—”

He paused. “Oh, that was a joke, wasn’t it?”

Mabel let out a giggle. “The PhD part was, the Dr. Grunkle Ford part was not. That was also not a ‘no’ so I’m gonna tuck that away for later.”

She made a motion to grab something out of the air, and pretended to drop it into her pocket. “And just ‘cause you can’t see it, I grabbed the nickname out of the air and dropped it into my pocket,” she explained, patting her skirt. “It’s resting right next to my blob of sticky poster stuff as we speak.”

“Hey, Soos, are we able to take off our blindfolds yet?” Dipper asked.

“Just a little further ahead—ooh, okay, stop, stop!”

Soos came to a stop himself, smile wider than ever. “Alright, esteemed guests! You may now remove your blindfolds and behold the wonders the Shack has to offer! …Or, at least, get an idea of what the Shack has to offer when we’re not closed!”

Four pairs of hands met cloth as the Pines reached up to lower their blindfolds and take in the sight before them.

The area situated between the shack and the edge of the woods was reminiscent of a carnival after all the guests had gone home for the day—the grass a tamped-down mess of discarded pamphlets and trash, and a wide selection of empty displays surrounded them on all sides.

To their left stood a tall aquarium that stretched around ten by ten square feet, filled nearly to the brim with placid water. Further ahead was a lengthy presentation stage, littered in the remains of unidentifiable objects made of wood, stone—anything that looked like it would’ve been a challenge for a regular human to destroy.

Ahead of that was an artificial recreation of a magical forest glenn, one perfect for a unicorn to kneel before in a graceful and elegant fashion. A series of perches for winged creatures both big and small. A small pet bed the perfect size for a plaidypus. A collection of scattered Pitt Cola cans near a skateboarding ramp covered in massive, yeti-like footprints and tire tracks.

Empty display after empty display surrounded the Pines family as they looked around, each a clear indicator of what beings would normally occupy them during business hours.

And if the sight wasn’t enough, Soos was happy to confirm it as he lead them forward: “Now, this is our Main Exhibit Area,” he said, and gestured around himself. “Any live beings for these attractions would normally be gathered here for their demonstrations—”

“Live beings?” Dipper asked with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. “As in we’ve started including actual, real monsters and creatures and stuff?”

“You know it, dude!” Soos said.

Mabel smooshed her face against the side of the large, glass tank, pupils darting back and forth while questions spilled out of her mouth at breakneck speed: “Is this a mermaid tank? How many mermaids are here? What are they like? …Are any of them Mermando?”

“Reminder that you’re in a relationship,” Dipper said.

Mabel pulled her face back with an audible pop, before giving her brother a pointed stare. “I wasn’t asking so I could date him again! It’d just be nice to catch up with an old friend!”

She moved a hand to her forehead, rubbing the spot where skin had met glass. “Besides, you act like Dev wouldn’t be cool with being in a polyamorous relationship with a mermaid.”

“...You know, that is probably something he’d be cool with.”

“Soos said he had a feeling you’d like the mermaid tank,” Melody said, coming up beside them. “And Wendy had a feeling that you’d love to see me jump into it.”

Mabel stared up at her with a grave look. “I would love nothing more.”

“Called that one,” Wendy said with a smug grin.

Using the ladder near them, Melody climbed up and onto the wooden platform on top of the tank, pausing only for a moment to fiddle with something in the very center. After a few seconds, she lifted the half she was not kneeling on upwards and held it still for the group to see.

Rather than being made completely out of wood like the other half, the ‘lid’ was made up of sturdy, steel bars with gaps between them. Like the bars of a jail cell, if the entire jail cell had been laid on its back and made of glass.

“We like to close and lock the lid between mermaid demonstrations,” she explained to the Pines family. “Keeps any bold tourists from trying to climb inside.”

“You lock your mermaids up?” Mabel asked, hands pressed to her mouth in horror.

“Wha—oh, no, don’t worry!” Melody quickly assured her. “We only lock it up once Mitch is outside of it and in his portable tank—hey, Soos, Wendy, can you guys—”

“Oh, yeah, one sec.”

Both Soos and Wendy hurried over to the opposite end of the tank and held out their arms, as if preparing to catch something out of the air. Once they were in place, Melody arched the lid up and over towards the side where they stood. While it quickly swung downwards at the two of them, they stood firm as they caught it in their arms, before gently guiding it to rest against the side of the tank.

Looking pleased, Melody turned her attention back to the kids. “Alright, I’m not even gonna try to do a proper mermaid dive into this thing because there’s a good chance I might break my neck,” she said. “So are we fine with a cannonball instead?”

“Cannonball! Cannonball!” Dipper and Mabel chanted in unison.

“Cannonball!” Soos added with just as much enthusiasm.

“Sounds like a yes to me!” Melody said, and took a small step back from the gap. “Get your cameras ready!”

Mabel held up her cell phone with a bright smile, before taking a cautious step back from the tank. “For safety measures,” she explained. “Don’t want what happened to Dipper’s phone to happen to mine~!”

“There was a chicken in science class, caught on fire and set off the sprinklers…” He shrugged in mild annoyance. “I had to get a new phone, it was a whole thing—”

“Shshshsh,” Mabel said, taking one hand off her phone to wave him quiet. “We can exchange cool stories after the tour! Cannonball time!”

“Oh, right—go for it, Melody!”

And with that confirmation, Melody took a deep breath jumped up and over the open side of the tank, folding her body into a cannonball shaped before she sank down into the water. Water that splashed up and out, soaking the grass around the tank and the toes of anyone who hadn’t followed Mabel’s example and backed up to safety.

While Melody breached the surface and swam to the tank’s side, Soos looked back down to his flashcards. “As you can imagine, normally a trick like this would be done by our hired merteen, Mitch,” he explained. “He would do a few tricks, explain a few of the basics of being a merperson, and then answer a few questions from the audience about being a mermaid and stuff.”

Melody propped her folded arms over the side of the tank. “And since I’m not an actual mermaid, I can’t really answer any real mermaid questions,” she said. “Or, at least, not as well as someone who’s been one their entire lives. But if anyone’s got any about how the exhibit works in other ways—”

“And Mabel’s hand is already in the air.”

Dipper flicked a thumb towards his sister, who was waving her arm about so frantically that it was a miracle that it didn’t go flying right off her body. Melody smiled and gestured to her with a damp hand. “Go ahead, Mabel.”

“Because I didn’t get any answers before, I repeat my questions from earlier,” Mabel said. “How many mermaids are here? What are they like?”

She turned her nose up at Dipper. “And would there happen to be an old friend of mine by the name of Mermando among them?” she asked. “One I am not interested in dating again, but one I would like to say hello to, despite what a certain someone might think—”

“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we?” Dipper asked.

“Ehhh, we only got the one merman and I doubt you’d be interested in dating him,” Wendy answered. “He’s kinda dull, one of those beach-dude types who’s overly obsessed with surfing and sun…”

She flicked a thumb towards the skating ramp. ”Gets along pretty well with the Abominable Bro-men who hang out at the halfpipe, though.”

“Speaking of which, he headed down to the California coast for the summer,” Soos said. “Apparently he’s got a lot of family down there—”

“Makes sense,” Dipper said with a nod.

“Totally tracks,” Mabel added.

“—which means that the only mermaid exhibit you’ll get to see for the next three months is Melody’s,” Soos continued. “Unless another one applies for a job soon, that is. ‘Course we’ll still need to check their resume, confirm their resources are legitimate—”

“Which could happen,” Melody said, as she pulled herself up onto the edge of the tank. “I’ve got a couple of interviews lined up.”

She looked towards the older Pines twins. “What about you two? Got any mermaid questions for me?”

“I’m afraid any questions I might still have about mermaids would only be able to be answered by actual mermaids,” Ford said, and looked towards the rest of the displays. “And I assume the same applies to the rest of the exhibits.”

He cast them both a smile. “But I’m in full support of this method of showcasing them! I mean, using the supernatural beings of Gravity Falls as willing exhibits, and providing a chance for everyone to grow accustomed to each other in a neutral setting?”

He tossed his hands in the air. “All with education lessons about each creature added to the mix? Quite the scientific approach to this sort of thing, color me very impressed!”

“Well, we kinda have you to thank for the idea, Dr. Pines,” Melody said. “You and the kids, of course.”

Once again, Ford found himself bewildered by the sudden praise and he tilted his head with a curious look. “Care to explain?”

“See, I spent sooooo much time with Dipper and Mabel last year,” Soos explained. “And they spent sooooo much of their time doing lots of cool, mystery stuff! Whether it was fighting some big monster or just trying to find out more about the super-mysterious author guy who wrote the journal that Dipper found in the woods—”

He once again pointed at Ford with a playful grin, before continuing: “—we learned about a lotta weird dudes! And with the town coming together and everything after Weirdmageddon, that meant a lotta those weird dudes were walking around in broad daylight. Which meant a lotta tourists started seeing those weird dudes walking around in broad daylight!”

“And as most tourists do, plenty had questions about them,” Melody continued from the water tank. “So with the Shack being one of the most popular locations in town, some talk was thrown around about us providing a space for those beings to answer their questions!”

“It probably helps that a lot of those weird dudes hid in the Mystery Shack during Weirdmageddon,” Wendy added. “So you know, didn’t take a lot of convincing to get them involved, since they kinda consider it a safe haven now.”

“That’s so cool!” Dipper piped up excitedly.

“It’s brilliant,” Ford agreed. “During my years of research, I spent so long studying all the strange and mysterious beings of this town. How they came to exist, how they functioned—”

He placed a hand to the side of the tank. “Not just them but the weirdness that surrounded the town as a whole. Why all of it was so drawn to this tiny, Oregon town out of anywhere else in the world—”

“Imagine it, Sixer—a whole dimension of weirdness! One where the strangest and most bizarre beings the Multiverse has to offer call home! All waiting for someone as brilliant as you to pop on over and show the world what they—and you—can do!”

“You really think so?”

“Buddy, I know so! This is the way genius happens! …With a little help from a friend, of course!”

The hand against the glass curled into a fist as Bill’s voice once again pounded through his skull, the memories of their ‘research’ together gripping his insides like a vice. All those years of hard work for naught, all that wasted time being fed promises from the honey-dipped spoon of a liar, the bitter truth hidden from sight until it was too late to spit it back out—

He slowly unclenched his hand with a shuddery exhale. Deep breath, just relax. Everything was fine. “—well, this whole setup is making me reminisce on more nostalgic times,” he finished with a forced smile in Soos’s direction. “That’s all.”

If Soos had caught on to his half-truth, he didn’t show any sign of it in his own expression. Rather, his own smile simply widened further as he looked to Stan. “What about you, Mr. Pines?”

Ford couldn’t help but look to his brother as well, and his eyes once again met a matching pair as the two of them stared at each other in another shared silence.

The rigidity in Stan’s features from before had returned. Far less prominent than it had been back in the house, but the way his jaw was set, the cold, studious gaze behind worn lenses—

“All I wanna know is how much this kinda stuff’s costing the two of you.”

And quick as a flash, Stan had turned back to the rest of the group, arms folded across his chest and any sense of tension in his features nonexistent. “Don’t get me wrong; I think usin’ all the ghouls and goblins of this town to get more money outta tourists is a great idea—”

“You mean like what I suggested last year?” Dipper pointed out.

“Last year I was still playin’ dumb about all of that, in the hopes it would keep you kids outta trouble,” Stan reminded him. “Think we can safely say that ship has sailed by now. Besides, I ain’t the big man in charge anymore, so whatever changes you make to the shop are up to you and you alone.”

He directed the back half of his sentence at Soos and Melody as he turned to face them again. “But you know me; always lookin’ at the side of business with the dollar signs. And I just wanna know if you’re turnin’ more of a profit than what you’re spendin’.”

Ford’s gaze continued to linger on his brother for a moment more, before he turned to them as well. “Stanley raises a good point. While I clearly support the desire and motivation to help others approach the supernatural beings of the Falls with a more respectful and scientific mindset—well, as Stanley put it so eloquently, such methods aren’t exactly cheap.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to worry about,” Melody assured them. “If anything, the Shack is making more money than it ever did before!”

“Oh yeah!” Soos agreed. “Even taking into account all of the paychecks we give out—of course we pay anyone who’s part of an exhibit—”

“They’re employees after all,” Melody chimed in with a nod.

“—even taking all that into account, we’re doing really well!” Soos finished, tossing his hands into the air. “In fact, the Shack is more popular than it’s ever been before!”

Ford glanced back at Stan, scanning his features for any other signs of distress. However, Stan only seemed to perk up further at Soos’ comment, even going so far as to clasp a proud arm around his shoulder. “Well, then I have no complaints whatsoever! Show me another one of these magnificent, moneymaking—uh, m—uh…whatever, just show me another one.”

“Sounds like my cue,” Wendy said, and turned to the younger twins. “Who wants to see me break something over at the Manotaur stage?”

This time, Dipper and Mabel’s hand shot up in unison, and Wendy laughed as she lead them over towards the empty presentation stage. Much like back at the bus stop, the adults found themselves left behind as Soos helped a sopping-wet Melody back down the ladder and into the grass.

“Well, the tour might not be how we usually do things, but at least they seem to be having fun,” she said, and reached up to wring out some of the water in her hair. “Plus getting a chance to jump into a tank of water on a hot summer evening’s probably the opposite of a problem.”

“You cannonball like no other,” Soos said, tone full of sincerity before he looked to the older twins. “So you’re really enjoying the tour so far, Mr. Pines? I know you probably won’t get a proper feel of the new exhibits until you’re able to take a real tour, and I know this is a huge change from how you used to do things—”

“Like I said, it’s makin’ this place more money than ever so I’ve got zero complaints,” Stan said with a shrug. “Your methods are smart, keepin’ up with what the people want like any good business should…”

His features shifted to something that almost resembled genuine pride, if one looked closely enough. “You’re…you’re doin’ good, Soos. Really.”

A single touch could’ve shattered Soos like glass, eyes swelling with tears of pure joy.. “Thank you so much, Mr. Pines!” he said, and finally gave in to the urge he was probably holding since the moment the Stans arrived and scooped Stan up into a hug. “You’ve no idea how much this means to me!”

Any pride in Stan’s expression vanished in place of annoyance at being scooped, and he struggled fruitlessly against Soos’ embrace. “Alright, alright, save the huggy stuff for your fiance over there,” he insisted firmly. “Besides, didn’t Wendy say she wanted to show us another exhibit or whatever?”

“Oh, right!” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Want me to hug-carry you over to the stage?”

“Soos, I’m soaking wet.”

“Then we’ll both be soaking wet!”

Recognizing a good point when she heard it, Melody shrugged and hopped into his arms and the two of them fell into a shared fit of laughter as Soos lead them both towards the Manotaur stage.

Leaving the Stans as the remaining two near the mermaid tank.

“Can you believe this?” Stan asked, with a light flick to the glass. “A mermaid exhibit with a living, breathing merman? And one not made out of random animal parts?”

“They really seem to have tapped into a brilliant method of showcasing the exhibits here,” Ford agreed, turning his attention to the glass as well. With Melody no longer inside, the water inside was slowly settling back to a calm and undisturbed state. “You really picked the right man to take up the reigns in your absence.”

“Yeah, I…I really did, huh?”

That heavy silence from before began to envelop the brothers again, nearly impossible to ignore by this point. Not even the whooping and hollering from the stage—apparently Wendy had started her demonstration without them—was enough to distract Ford from his growing suspicions that Stanley was hiding something.

With the way he kept looking at Ford, features set with that rigid expression that clearly obscured his actual feelings beneath, he was either hiding something or he needed to say something without the others nearby.

Well, they had a moment alone now. Best to do the straightforward thing and just ask directly. “Stanley, is everything alright?”

Stan snapped his attention from the tank to Ford so quickly that it was a miracle he didn’t pull something, and for a moment he did seem like he had something he needed to say—

—before his expression settled back into something more neutral as he leaned back against the glass. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

It was an odd thing. With the many years of conning people under his belt, Ford had expected his brother to be far better at lying right to his face. “Are you sure?” he tried again, and leaned back against the glass as well. “You know you can talk to me, Stanley. It’s like you said before: we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore. So, if you need to talk about anything, anything at all…”

This earned a small chuckle from Stan. “Throwin’ my own words back at me, huh? Cheap shot.”

He hesitated to reply for a moment, before giving him a halfhearted shrug. “I dunno, it’s nothin’,” he said. “I think I’m just having a hard time getting back into the swing of things now that we’re back in town. Just a lotta new stuff to get used to, stuff that wasn’t here last year…”

He cast Ford a smirk. “Guess you could say I’m having trouble gettin’ my land legs, instead of my sea legs,” he said, leaning over to nudge him with his elbow. “You—you get it? My land legs—”

Dodging the subject with a joke, and an incredibly cheesy one at that. A classic Stanley move to avoid talking about something he didn’t want to, one that only cemented Ford’s concerns further.

However, his first remark brought a thoughtful hand to Ford’s chin. “There have been quite a few changes in our absence,” he agreed. “It would make sense that it would be difficult for you to readjust, especially in regards to the shack.”

He cast a look towards the shack itself. “I mean, you were in charge of this place for what, thirty years? That’s about five times the number of years I lived here,” he said. “Not to mention Soos and Melody’s whole announcement, I can imagine that would be quite the surprise for you—”

“Only surprise there is that there’s apparently someone on this planet more nerdy than Soos,” Stan interrupted quickly, and crossed his arms. “What about you? How’re you holdin’ up?”

Ford stared at him, perplexed. “Me?”

“To quote the words you stole from me to then throw back at me; we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore,” Stan said. “So do you have anything you wanna talk about?”

“Heads up!”

A shout from the stage sprung the brothers into action, and both jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a porcelain vase whizzing past at breakneck speed, right before crashing straight into the side of the cabin and shattering on impact.

“Sorry, guys!” Wendy called from atop the stage. “Think I put a little too much oomph into that swing!”

“I think you put just the right amount of oomph into it!” Mabel said from beside her, grin bright.

“It was incredible!” Dipper agreed. “Can you do it again?”

“I dunno,” Wendy said, tapping the end of the bat against her boot. “The destruction of valuable properly really gets both the Manotaurs and the audience all riled up, so they tend to keep the going until there’s nothing left to destroy.”

She moved the end of the bat was moved to a discarded plank of wood near her feet, gently nudging it towards the edge of the stage. “And judging by today’s damage, it’s a miracle that one vase remained unscathed as long as it did.”

“Aw, boo,” Mabel said. “I wanna see more mindless violence!”

“Sadly that’s all I got for the big lugs for now,” Wendy said, letting the bat clatter to the stage. “You squirts know all about their deal already, so random trivia is kinda out of the question. I mean, I could always do the thing where they let someone from the audience challenge them in a fight, but ehh, I’ve already gotta clean up the displays on my day off—”

“Didn’t you choose to come to work anyway?” Mabel pointed out.

“—so I’m just gonna pass the baton to Soos,” Wendy continued, tossing a hand in Soos’ direction. “How about it, Soos? You’re the only one who hasn’t shown off one of the exhibits yet, it’s only fair you get a turn before we move on to the Big Stuff inside.”

“You make a good point!” Soos agreed with a nod, and glanced around at the remaining exhibits for a moment in thought. “Who wants to watch me try and do a kickflip over at the Abominable Bro-Men’s halfpipe?”

“Me! Me!” Dipper piped up enthusiastically. “You are absolutely going to fall and break your neck, so I’m in!”

Beaming, Soos turned back to the direction of the mermaid tank. “What about you, Dr. and Mr. Pines?” he called. “You wanna join us?”

The sudden vase attack had pulled both from their conversation long enough to grow distracted by the kids’ antics on the stage. At Soos’ call, however, the two of them exchanged a look with each other. “Like I was askin’ before,” Stan tried again. “Are you okay? You got anything you need to talk about?”

It was said in such a knowing tone, as if Stan could physically see the triangle-shaped echos that were permanently etched against the inside of Ford’s mind. As if he were just waiting for Ford to offer him the chance to swing another fist at them again.

But while swinging a fist at Bill had worked the first time around, Stan couldn’t exactly swing a fist at the nightmares that had plagued Ford’s head for as long as he could remember. And even if he could—

“I’m fine, Stanley,” he finally insisted aloud. “Really, I am. Perhaps it’s as you said, and it’s taking me more time to readjust to being back in town than I’d initially expected.”

He flashed Stan a weak smile, one that his brother hesitated to return for a few seconds. But eventually, the corners of Stan’s mouth curled upwards into a amused smile of his own. “Pretty sure my exact words were ‘having trouble gettin’ my land legs’,” he pointed out, clasping a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “Was a pretty good one, if I do say so myself.”

“Stanley, you realize that ‘getting your land legs’ is about as common of a phrase as ‘getting your sea legs’,” Ford pointed out.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I made that one up,” Stan said, and plopping an arm across his brother’s shoulders. “Now come on, let’s go watch Soos break his neck or whatever he’s gonna do.”

“Personally, I’m not a fan of Abominable Bro-Men,” Ford admitted. “But with all this talk of neck-breaking, I think there should be at least one person there who knows how to reset a bone.”

“Oh, so you’re an expert with human bones—”

While the adults followed Soos towards the half-pipe, Mabel let out a disappointed noise. “Aww man, I wanted a chance to try and fight Wendy!”

“Eh, we’ve got all summer,” Wendy reminded her. “Besides, you’re telling me you’d miss a chance to watch Soos fall flat on his face?”

With a giggle, Mabel shoved her hands in her pockets. “Now I never said that—oh, wait—”

She shuffled her hands around for a moment, before pulling them back out and peering into her pocket with an annoyed look. “Aww, dang it, I think my wad of sticky poster stuff fell out of my pocket somewhere.”

“Eugh, that probably means it’s all covered in dirt or something now,” Dipper said with a grimace. “Probably best to cut your losses and start a new one when school picks back up again.”

“Are you kidding?” Mabel protested, gaze now shifting around their feet and the rest of the stage. “I barely managed to collect as much as I did before the teachers started catching wind of my thievery!”

Taking care to avoid any of the broken debris, she dropped to her knees and pressed her face against the stage for closer examination. “By the time fall hits, they’ll probably have security guards around every single one of those cheesy pun posters that relate to each class’s specific subject! I’ll never be able to get the new one back to the size of the original!”

Dipper placed a hand on his hip. “You realize that this is a very weird and specific problem that only you could have,” he said, then paused. “You want me to help you look?”

“Nah, nah, you go ahead and watch Soos. Just snap me some pics with my phone.”

Without taking her eyes off the stage, she held out her cell phone to him. “Feel free to add whatever filters you want, I’m partial to the kitty-ears myself.”

“Of course you are.”

While he hopped down from the stage and headed towards the half-pipe, Mabel continued to search on her hands and knees for the telltale blob. When the stage itself produced no results, she moved to retrace her steps from the stage to the mermaid tank, to the area where she was pretty sure she’d pulled the lump out of her pocket—Soos making them walk around blindfolded had been delightfully quirky at the time, but now it was just making her search all the more difficult—

THUMP!

The sound of something heavy hitting the ground snapped Mabel’s attention towards the edge of the forest, her gaze darting about wildly as she tried to locate the source. A goal that didn’t take long for her to accomplish; a conspicuous black mass was splayed out on the ground between a pair of nearby birch trees.

Her first guess was some kind of animal, until her gaze landed on a small, fleshy hand at the end of an arm. An arm, a head of messy hair, a pair of legs—

“Wait, that’s a person!”

Once her brain put two and two together, Mabel broke into a sprint towards the unknown—potentially unconscious—body. Sure enough, her suspicions were confirmed once she reached it and knelt down to investigate.

They were short, probably not much taller than her or Dipper at full height. And as Mabel rolled their unconscious body onto their back to get a closer look, further similarities between the mysterious person and Dipper presented themselves to her.

They had the same facial structure, their noses were the same rosy shade of peach that was slightly darker than the rest of their face. Even their messy mop of hair fell over their eyes in the exact same way Dipper’s did when he wasn’t wearing a hat, although his usual brown shade had been swapped for a light bleach-blonde that would make the entirety of Sev’ral Timez weep with envy.

Despite the similar physical features—the mysterious person’s fashion sense differed from Dipper’s in every way. Rather than the casual shirt, vest and hat combo that Dipper wore on a regular basis, the person was dressed in a black jacket and pants, bow tie, yellow button up—an unusually fancy outfit for someone who might’ve just fallen out of a tree in the middle of the woods.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin?”

Drawing her gaze from the body, Mabel looked up to see Stan approaching her with a curious look. “I think someone fell out of one of the trees,” she explained. “I heard a loud thump, and saw them lying here. I think they might be a kid—”

“What’s going on over here, dudes?”

Stan turned to see Ford and Soos coming up behind him, a skateboard tucked safely under Soos’ arm. “I was just gonna wait until everyone was at the half-pipe ramp,” Soos explained. “Dipper said Mabel was looking for something, and I’m in no rush.”

He flashed a grin in Stan’s direction. “Even if I’d love to get to the inside part of the tour as soon as possible, you are gonna flip when you see it, Mr. Pines—”

“What’s wrong, Stanley?” Ford asked, echoing his brother’s earlier question.

“Accordin’ to Mabel, some kid fell out of a tree or something,” Stan said, with a look to Soos. “What, you’re just lettin’ kids climb in the trees around here now? You lookin’ to get sued by some Patsy or Jane with straight bangs and a failing marriage that she insists on makin’ everyone else’s business?”

Soos innocently raised his hands. “I didn’t let anyone do anything, I swear! Maybe he was part of the last tourist group of the day and got separated from them before they left? Haven’t had any parents show up looking for a lost kid, though.”

“Either way, we should probably call 911.”

Ford knelt down beside Mabel and pressed two fingers to the unknown child’s neck. “Well, they have a pulse so they’re probably alive,” he said, then pulled his hand back. “Of course, a lack of pulse doesn’t rule out the possibility of them being undead. But if they did fall out of a tree, they could possibly have a concussion. So either way, it’s a concern.”

“Well, let’s hope you don’t have to rip out the spine of this one,” Stan said.

While they conversed, Mabel gingerly placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder and gave it a light shake. “Hello? Are you alright?”

There was no response, so she tried again with a bit more force. “Hey, kid, I hope you know that you just fell out of the sky!” she said with a bit more urgency. “Which is probably not out of the norm for kids in Gravity Falls, but still, it’s a little worrying!”

The child remained still for a moment more—

—before their body began to tremble with a quiet chuckle. A quiet chuckle that slowly morphed into a full-on laugh.

Any relief that might’ve started building inside Mabel was snuffed out in an instant as the laughter—that cold, cruel laughter—only grew more vocal, and sent her crawling backwards in a panic as the body slowly rose up from the ground and turned to face her.

Now that Mabel got a better look at his face, the similarities to her brother were so clearly skin deep. Their aforementioned features were the same as before, but Dipper never smiled in a way that revealed all of his teeth and gums at once, like a young child being told to smile for the first time in front of a camera.

Dipper’s limbs weren’t quite as gangly and limp as the other boy’s, like a marionette being controlled by an inexperienced puppeteer who hadn’t mastered the art of making their body move naturally.

And Dipper’s eyes weren’t that terrifying, familiar shade of jaundice yellow, complete with slitted, catlike pupils that bore deep, deep into her very being.

“Grunkle Ford!”

Her panicked shout—one that spilled out of her on complete instinct before she could even process what she was saying—was far from necessary. Ford had completely frozen when the laughter had started, features aghast and grim as he stared at the child, as that wicked, horrible laughter droned on and on—

CRACK!

And suddenly the laughter was silenced, and the same sound of a body hitting a ground as before drew Mabel’s attention back to reality.

The child was unconscious again, now with a decent sized welt on the back of his head. And beside him stood Wendy, the bat from before in hand and her body hunched over while she tried to catch her breath. “Saw…saw what was happening,” she explained between sharp gulps of air. “Heard the laughing. Panicked…”

The only sound to break the silence that followed for a few seconds was the faint rustling of the wind through the trees, until a pair of approaching footsteps against the dirt drew everyone’s heightened attention towards the sound in a panic.

Much like the others had done, Melody and Dipper were approaching the group from the direction of the half-pipe. Upon seeing their petrified expressions, Melody held up her hands. “Woah, woah, hey, what’s going on?”

From beside her, Dipper lifted up something he was clutching tightly in his hands—one of the discarded planks of wood from the Manotaur’s stage. “I heard Mabel yell and saw Wendy run over here with her bat,” Dipper added. “Thought it’d probably be smart to grab a weapon, too—”

“Get a rope.”

Ford didn’t tear his gaze from the body as he responded in a low tone, as if it would vanish the moment he looked away. As if he, or everything around him, would shatter in an instant if he dared tear his attention away from the body that had previously been letting out that horrible, horrible laughter.

The laughter that had haunted his dreams for four decades, the laughter still bouncing off the inside of his skull, even after Wendy had silenced the source.

When he didn’t elaborate further, Dipper looked to one of the other adults for an explanation—

“You heard him! Get a rope!”

It was Stan who replied next, and actually spun to face them with a grim expression. “A rope, chains…if it can be used to tie someone up, then get it!”

“It’s code yellow, Melody,” Wendy said quickly. “Soos, do we still got that unicorn-hair rope?”

“Same place as it always is,” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Come on, we need to hurry—I’ll get the moonstones, you fetch the mercury.”

Recognizing their urgency, Melody looked to the unconscious body on the ground. “...That’s him, then?”

“Did you hear me, I said get a rope!”

It was Ford who spoke again, tone more demanding as he finally tore his gaze from the body to glare at them. “If I have to say it a third time—”

“Oh, okay, yeah, that answers that question,” Melody said quickly, and gestured for the rest of them to follow. “Alright, there’s a rope and a chair to tie him to in the shack. But who’s gonna—”

“I’ve got it.”

Letting the bat clatter to the ground, Wendy scruffed the unconscious child by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up into the air. “Let’s get him inside.”

With mild chaos, the group hurried towards the Shack with the unconscious child in hand. Leaving the bat, Mabel’s unfortunately-missed blob of blue poster tack lying several yards away, and the remaining exhibit displays abandoned as the first real hints of night began to peek their way through the tops of the trees.

#Hayley Writes Triangulum #Gravity Falls #Triangulum The Fic #My Writing #Long Post #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #(There are more characters but they are on the poster and arguably get the most focus this chapter)

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dededone · 4 months

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random kirby characters voice headcanons

Kirby: Has a bit of a speech impediment, high pitched voice. I cant think of a specific accent, but i imagine that they pick up a lot of their friends little vocal quirks

Meta Knight: his voice in the english dub of the anime but a little deeper

King Dedede: same as it is in the anime except deeper, and less energetic most of the time

Bandana Dee: Southern accent like Dedede, but his voice is about as high pitched as Darwin's from tawog

Magolor: hes a fucking brit.. voice is only slightly deeper than his in game animal crossing speak

Marx: no one knows what his real voice sounds like cuz he likes to mess with people by constantly changing how he talks.

Susie: her voice is sorta like Siri but a bit less robotic. she taught herself to speak like that while working for her father because she kept feeling like she was gonna cry when her father couldnt recognize her so she did what she could so no one would know it. she's trying to unlearn it now.

Taranza: i remember seeing a thing that said he was french and tbh he seems a bit french. he doesnt have a super thick accent but you wouldnt be able to miss it. he has a middle pitched tone.

Adeline: louise belcher, mabel pines, that is adelines voice too.

Ribbon: high pitched voice, think cream the rabbit in sonic x.

Prince Fluff: if taranza is french, prince fluff is even MORE FRENCH! really thick accent, mid pitched tone but on the higher side. has a huge vocabulary.

#yaya headcanons #if u see this and have ur own voice headcanons for anyone pleeease comment or reblog and put them in the tags #i love seeing peoples headcanons #kirby #meta knight #king dedede #bandee #bandana dee #bandana waddle dee #ribbon kirby #marx kirby #adeline kirby #susie haltmann #susie kirby #magolor #kirby magolor #taranza #taranza kirby

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piss-pumpkin · 5 months

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🌹“Just as friends”🌹

(Older)Dipper pines x reader, Chapter 3 of Douce amere

~4.5k words

Prev Masterlist

Tw for those who need it- food/eating, several awful sex jokes 💀

You jolted awake. Pacifica’s alarm was loud, and she did not silence it soon enough. She rolled out of bed beside you, falling to the floor before standing up. “Food?”

You rubbed your eyes, “Got an extra tooth brush?”

”Yeah,” she muttered, voice hoarse. “Then food.”

…

Pacifica led you to the main foyer, where housekeepers and maids were setting up tables. Some held food, others simply face table cloths for people to mingle at.

“And you lied to me and said this was small and unimpressive,” you said, staring in wonder at the scene. There was a rather large dessert table, complete with a chocolate fountain and strawberries on sticks.

”Yeah, whatever I guess. It’s a little big if you aren’t used to better.” Pacifica showed you to the kitchen, where a cake of at least five layers was sat, completely iced in orange and pink frosting. “Anyway, there’s breakfast if you want it,” she said, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard. “Are you a morning eater?”

You yawned, “Eh, I can be. What do you got?”

She opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of strawberries, and started to wash them. “Pretty much everything,” she said, pouring her berries into the bowl.

You squinted. It was far to early to think about what you could possibly want, if anything. “I’ll just have what you’re having, I guess.”

Pacifica poured the other half of the strawberries into a second bowl, and handed it to you. “Let’s get out of here, it’s too busy.”

You started back upstairs with her to her room, trying not to get in the way of preparation. As you walked, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Pulling it out as you ascended the stairs, you saw it was Dipper. You smiled.

“Dip is asking the dress code, he apparently didn’t bring anything fancy,” you laughed. “He wants to know if he can just wear his normal clothes.”

Pacifica smirked, “he can’t be serious, right?” She flopped onto her bed, and held the bowl of strawberries by her chest.

You followed behind, and sat down with her. “Man, you know he’s fucking serious,” you said, looking down at your phone and beginning to make fun of him over text.

”Well tell him we’ll supply him with something, I guess,” she said, looking at her closet. “You know I have guy clothes.”

You looked down and idly typed the message. “We’re making him wear a suit right?”

Pacifica smiled, “Yep. Tux, I think. probably bow tie?”

”I was thinking regular tie, I feel like that’s a better look.”

Pcifica thought a moment, and popped a strawberry in her mouth. “I dunno… maybe you’re right,” she pondered. “We could make him try both and decide which is better?”

You nodded, “sounds good.” You ate a strawberry. Quite sweet. You let the leafy tops collect at one side of the bowl. “So do you still like… like him?”

Pacifica looked up, “I mean… kind of. The same way i would after not seeing him in person for like, a year.” She pursed her lips, as if straining her mind for the thought. “I dunno. I think about him less when he’s away. But the feeling is still there, kind of?”

You nodded. Her feelings were a little different then yours, but the same sentiment.

“What about you, you still-“

”Yep. Awful, too,” you shook your head, eating another strawberry. You squinted your eyes, and sucked a breath in through your teeth, “I am absolutely down bad.”

“My condolences,” Pacifica sighed. “We’ve all been there

You laughed, “At least we agree he’ll look really cute in a suit.”

Pacifica threw her head back on the pillow. “Ugh, right? We gotta dress his ass up.”

You smiled, “I’m also curious about what Mabel is doing, I think she is making her own dress.” You plucked your last strawberry off its stem. “I think she made it in like, a night. She could be cooking.”

”Or it could be a disaster, and we have to find her a last minute dress.”

”That is an equal possibility, I think.”

…

Pacifica and yourself were waiting by the door as the party was starting. There were people, standing, mingling. Nobody interesting, not yet. Though by the way Pacifica was talking, you weren’t sure there was anyone interesting on the roster besides you and the twins.

Much to both of your surprise, Mabel’s dress was fine. Good, even, shocking as it was. She came in first, wearing a blue dress with a shocking amount of sequins for how little time it took.

Dipper followed behind his sister, dressed in nothing fancy, and looking rather out of place among the few guests that had arrived this early. You and Pacifica waved the pair over. Mabel bounced closer, running ahead of Dipper and greeting you both with a wide smile, “Wow, you guys look amazing!”

You pumped your fists in the air with excitement. “You too, I can’t believe you made that!” you exclaimed, looking her dress up and down. “You’re insane!”

Mabel giggled, and twirled in a small circle, letting her skirt lift and spin. “Just insane enough,” she laughed.

Pacifica snickered, “That’s highly debatable.”

Just as Mabel was about to retort, Dipper came up beside her, and leaned his arm on her shoulder. “It’s true Mabel, she’s right.”

Pacifica eyed up Dipper, “Yeah, Dip, hopefully you know you’re not going to be wearing that, right?”

Dipper sighed, “yeah, I know, I know.”

Pacifica looked to you, “We take him to get changed before the rest of the guests arrive?”

You nodded.

Mabel laughed, and hit Dipper on the back. “Alright, you go get prettied up, bro.” She smacked him once more before bouncing off of him, “I’m gonna get punch, and get a date.” With that she was off, as Dipper was giving her a mildly annoyed look.

You and Pacifica led him to the back, where Pacifica handed him a hanger with his clothes. “Okay,” she looked to you, “Y/n, help him if he needs it, change room is on the right, and I need to go greet people.”

You nodded, “Godspeed.”

”And good luck,” Dipper added.

And then you were alone with your just as friends date. “Alright, you get ready, there’s a tie and a bow tie, too, your pick.”

Dipper entered the change room, and closed the curtain behind him. “Mmmk,” he said.

You leaned on a wall, waiting. “Did you read ahead without me, last night?” you asked, idly looking around.

”No, actually, I wasn’t sure if we were reading it together, so I played it safe,” he said though the curtain. You could hear faint rustling sounds from the other side. “Are we?”

You nodded, despite the fact that he couldn’t see you, “Yeah, it’s book club.” You straightened your back against the wall, and tapped your foot on the ground. “Thanks for waiting for me,” you smiled, “Also hurry up.”

”I am hurrying.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “This is not was hurrying looks like.”

You heard faint grumbling from him before Dipper emerged from the change room in a suit. With a black tie. The one you had chosen… but he didn’t know that. You smiled, “Well, you look good, all fancy like.”

He adjusted the sleeves and fiddled with the cuffs. “Uh- thanks,” he said, smiling softly. He closed the curtain behind him, and looked away from you, to the floor. “Y-you too, I forgot to mention earlier…”

You raised your brow, smiling. He was still looking at the floor away from you, so you moved in front of him, and leaned over slightly, forcing him to see you. “Why thank you,” you snickered. “I better look good, it took Pacifica all night to style me.”

Dipper stepped back slightly, face pinkish. “I assume she’s responsible for this, too?” he said, gesturing at his own clothes.

You stood back up tall, “I want to say you were a team effort, actually.” You took his wrist in your hand, and turned it over so you could see the sleeve. “The cuff links were my pick,” you said, tapping them. “Same with the tie”

Dipper instinctively moved is hand to his chest, and thumbed over the tie. “Well chosen, it’s really soft,” he said.

You smiled, spinning away from him and offering your hand. “I’m actually surprised you were able to tie it without help, I was ready to call Pacifica in to do it for you.”

Dipper took your hand, and gave it a slight squeeze. “I actually looked it up while I was in there,” he laughed, pulling your hand closer to him, and linking your arms.

You both started out to the main room, “God, that’s why you took so long in there?” you asked. You came to the foyer, which was now filled with a substantial amount of people, and you knew even more were set to come.

“Wow, lots of people…” Dipper said, trailing off. “Where did Mabel and Pacifica go?”

You looked around, taking in the scene. The tables you’d seen the staff setting up before were now filled with food, or set with chairs for dining and mingling. Gentle orchestral and piano music was playing, and several people were dancing a waltz. “Pacifica is gonna be busy for a while, she has to socialize,” you said, scanning the room for your friends. “And it appears Mabel had been lost to the party.”

Dipper sighed, shaking his head. “Of course she is, we’re not gonna see her for a while, are we.”

”No we will not,” you said, walking with him along the edge of the room. “I bet she’s looking for somebody to dance with,” you pondered. “Hey, we should dance.”

Dipper looked at you, curiously. “Y/n, neither of us know how to waltz.”

You took Dippers hand, gliding your fingers up his palm before lacing them together. “Come on, it can’t be that hard, right?”

His hand was sweaty, and his face was slightly red. “Y/n, I think you are seriously underestimating my awkwardness,” he said. Despite it, he let you lead him to the floor, where people were dancing in step.

”I’m sure your fine, nobody really knows how to dance,” you laughed.

Dipper closed his eyes and shook his head, curling his face into a perplexed expression when he opened them. “What the actual fuck do you mean?” He used his head to gesture around the room. “Literally everyone here knows how to dance, that is what they are all dancing.”

You sighed, still smiling. “Come on, all you need is rhythm, I think.” You placed his hand on your waist, and your in his shoulder. “I think this is how it goes, yeah?” You looked around, scanning the other dancers in the room. They were mostly adults and old people, all of whom looked rich. But they did have the same positioning as you. “Yeah, I think we’ve got this.”

”Y/n, I have no rhythm,” he said. You could feel the warmth from his palm on your hip. It was light too, like he was afraid of putting the weight of his hand on you. “Plus this is a rich old person song.” He was stiff, as if his knees were locked. The hand you still held was shaky, the vessel for his anxious movements. You rubbed your thumb over his to try and calm him. Or at least offer some courage.

“Then let me lead,” you said softly. You started to move, and pull him along to the music. You looked around and tried to mimic the dancing of others. “Hey, this isn’t that bad, you’re fine.”

He was still apprehensive, stiff. “I, uh-“ he almost tripped, stepping on your foot. “Sorry.”

You shook you head, “Don’t be, probably my fault,” You smiled a moment, “you see, not so hard.”

“Not what your mom was saying last night,” he spat quickly.

You shook your head, hiding your tired smile. “Just couldn’t resist, huh?” You said, gliding across the room, still leading. You saw an old man dip his partner, and gained an idea.

As you led Dipper, you started to take more control. You knew if you tried to dip him out of the blue, he’d resist. You wouldn’t be able to. Unless…

You moved toward the edge of the dance floor, in case it went wrong, and to both fell on the ground. As you did, you stood straight up and tall, and swept the leg.

”Augh-“ Dipper tried to form a word, but was too late. You swept one leg, leaving him vulnerable to be pushed down with the free, non catching hand. As he fell, that hand slipped under his back to stop him before he hit the ground.

You smirked down at him, holding him there for a moment before pulling him up.

His eyes were wide, and face slightly red. Though that could have been from fear. “You realize my life just flashed before my eyes, right?” He blinked a few times, as if reacquainting himself with standing.

You started again to the centre. “Whaaaat?” you laughed. Across the floor you saw another move, a spin this time.

Dipper noticed too though, and followed your eyes across the room, landing in the same couple. “Oh, don’t even thing about it.”

You snickered, “you know me too well.” You still intended to do it. As you subtly moved your hands across his to reposition to spin him, he caught you off guard. He must have been watching the motion of the dancers too, because he threw his arm out to try and spin you. Unlike you, he didn’t have the tactical skill to force the spin, like you did the dip, but you were one to play the game. As he led you, you spun out, then back in close, placing your chest nearly against his. “Hey, man’s got moves!”

”Heh, thanks,” he stuttered, intensely aware of the new closeness.

You were aware of it too. You smirked, almost feeling the heat from his face. Your hands glided smoothly away from his and to the back of his neck, where you laced your fingers together. “And you were worried,” you smiled.

He was looking at you with wide eyes, and slightly parted lips. They caught your attention, your gaze flickering from his big brown eyes down to his slightly pink lips. Fuck, you were not subtle today. Dipper swallowed, “Yeah… nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t let me fall.”

You snickered, “Oh, I’d let you fall, alright.” You looked at him with an almost shit eating grin. A pun-smile, so to speak. “Get it, it has a double meaning.”

Dipper flushed. “Uh, I mean-“

You were blushing too, you could feel it. To close. To much, to hard. You backed out, pulling away from his chest. ”Or maybe it just means I’ll do this,” you say, sweeping his leg again and barely catching him on the way down. He let out a startled sound again, having been caught only inches from the floor. Just as you were leaned over him, about to pull him up, you let him fall to the floor. “Like that.”

Dipper grumbled, laying with his back on the ground for a moment, as if in protest. “You know,” he started, exasperated. The blush wasn’t completely faded from his face, but it was close.

As he moved to get up, you put a hand out in front of him to help him. He looked at it a moment with pursed lips before taking it. You pulled him up. “But hey, who could ever resist falling in love with me,” you said, punctuating your claim by putting your hand beneath your chin to frame your face.

“Literally nobody, you’re so effortlessly charming,” he said, sarcastically. He took your hand again, and pulled you close to his chest like before, and started to dance again. Looks like you got through to him? Or he’s humouring you. Either way. You moved your feet with his, letting him lead. It didn’t seem like he even realized it was you following him now.

You shrugged, “Hey, your words.” Your hands found their way back to his neck. You felt the brush of his hair on your fingers, and lingered on the feeling. His hair was soft.

“Are they really though?”

”That doesn’t even make sense, Dippin dots,” you shook your head.

Dippers face flattened, “oops,” he said, stepping on your foot.

“Hey!” you exclaimed playfully.

“Deserved,” Dipper sighed. The song ended. Come to think of it, it wasn’t the song you started on.

“Those are fighting words, Dipstick.” You thought for a moment as Dipper led you along the floor. He wasn’t all that bad at this. “I could…” you hesitated, and laughed at yourself as you said it. “Pull your hair, or something,” you said, fingers trailing up his neck to brush against his locks. Smooth.

Dipper laughed immediately, and then feigned shock and horror. He gasped, “You can’t! What if I cum!”

You stifled a laugh, pulling away, and gut punched him playfully. “Jesus Christ, you are awful. Like downright terrible, that physically hurt me.” You shook your head, and turned away from him to hide your smirk. Fucking terrible.

“Obligatory masochism joke?” He questioned.

You turned back to him, “Nah, that one’s a stretch.”

Dipper shook his head, “You’re just a critic, I swear.” He folded his arms at his chest. “Honestly, your comedy is lacking,” he scoffed with faux condescension.

You sighed, smiling despite yourself. “Yeah, whatever, you absolute comedian.” You shook your head, looking at the floor to avoid his eyes. You snaked your arm around his, unfolding it from the other, “You can tell me all about how funny you are on the way to the snack table, yeah?”

Dipper easily linked his arm with yours, “Good plan.”

…

You lingered with him near the chocolate fountain, showing dessert strawberries in your mouth. There was no getting sick of strawberries, was there?

”Y/n, Y/n, look over there,” Dipper said, poking you. You followed his eyes, and landed on Mabel across the room, flirting with a rich looking guy. You squinted, trying to read the reaction of the guy.

“Mabel? What, who is that?” You said, curious.

”What? No,” he said, shaking his head. He pointed this time, and moved your head to direct your eyes in the direction. “Cheese fountain.”

”Cheese fountain?” You asked, unsure where he was going. The phrase cheese fountain did not evoke a good feeling from you. The concept didn’t seem appetizing.

“Cheese strawberry, I dare you.”

You opened your mouth, in some sort of surprise. “Oh, you bitch, why would you dare me that?”

He snickered, “cuz you‘ll do it.”

You pursed your lips, turning to him, pointing to him with malice. You sighed, “you’re right, I ain’t no pussy, come on.” He smiled, taking your arm again to move tables, a few sticks of strawberries held in his free hand.

The two of you stopped just short of the table, and stared down the cheese fountain. You almost wanted to out your hand in it, just to feel the texture. You held back though. “Looks kind of gross,” you muttered.

”It sure does,” Dipper said, handing you a skewered strawberry, bowing his head slightly as he did.

You held the strawberry under the drilling and flowing cheese, drenching it. You weren’t no bitch, despite the fact that the texture was strange.

“Damn, you’re drowning it,” Dipper commented, watching.

You stared at the strawberry after you pulled it out. A droplet of thick and slightly warm cheese fell to the floor at your feet. “Only way to go is all in,” you said, about to pop it in your mouth.

You vaguely heard footsteps come closer beside you. “What are you doing?” Pacifica said, approaching.

”Uhh,” You and Dipper both stammered in unison. You looked down at the cheese berry, then at him. Sharing a moment of contemplating eye contact, you decided to speak first. “Chesee strawberry, any thoughts?”

Pacifica scrunched her face, and receded into herself. “Yeah, just one. Why?”

You wordlessly pointed at Dipper, and you both could see Pacificas face change as she realized it was a rather stupid dare. It changed from mild disgust to a tired disappointment. “Yeah, maybe don’t do that,” Pacifica said, sucking in a breath though her teeth.

Dipper crossed his arms, “Dude, it’s liquid cheese, it’s nasty.”

Pacifica sighed, “Yeah, I know, but the old people like it.” She tilted her head up and looked around the room, scanning the crowd of her parents friends and their children. “Can’t imagine why,” she said.

You perked up, “Oh speaking of, are you done with your parents friends?”

Pacifica clapped her gloved hands together, “For now, yes!”

You gasped, and leaned over to offer her a hand. “Then may I be the first to offer you a dance,” you said, doing your best impression of a snobbish voice.

She took it, “Why, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She led, much more skillfully then you or Dipper ever did. At the centre of the foyer, she swung you and spun you with a practiced perfection you might envy.

“You’re good at this,” you said, in slight wonder.

“I’ve had to go to these parties since I was like, three,” she laughed. “If have to be a good dancer by now.”

You got a few looks from the guests, some of which said a quick hello or happy birthday to Pacifica. She tried to keep it brief, not even slowly the dance to speak with them.

As you were gliding around the floor, she looked back to the food table. ”So, do I have your blessing to dance with Dip?” she asked coyly.

You laughed, “yeah, of course. I’ll tag him in soon.” You may be his just as friends date, and have feeling for him, but you wouldn’t be a bitch about it. Who were you to try and stop her? You were friends with both of them first and foremost. “I should probably find Mabel anyway, make sure she’s not being weird to anyone.”

Pacifica snickered, “I’m almost a hundred percent sure your late on that, I can feel it.”

”There’s no harm in trying though, yeah?” You said, gliding closer to where Dipper was collecting snacks on his plate like he was a starving man on death row getting his last meal. You waved at him to try and catch his attention, “Dipshit! Tag in for me!” you called.

He looked over, holding a bun in his mouth. You could see his expression fall slightly, reliving his hesitancy to dance from earlier.

You got closer with Pacifica, so nobody had to yell. Pacifica let go of your hands, and stopping in front of him. “Come on, I actually know how to dance, and won’t let you make a fool of yourself.”

Dipper snickered, and nudged you slightly. “You’ll let me keep my dignity? Y/n could learn something from you,” he said, taking her hand.

You smiled, “hey, I didn’t do you that bad, did I?”

“Ehhhh,” he said, squinting. “Up for debate, I think.”

”Yeah, whatever nerd,” you laughed. You snapped a finger gun at the two of them before they moved away from you. Off to find Mabel.

Unsurprisingly, she was trying to flirt. You found her trying to kabedon a rich looking guy about your age. She didn’t see you as you approached, but he did, and made pleading eye contact with you. Yikes.

You scrunched your face, and shook your head. You leaned on the same wall as the guy, and looked to Mabel. “May I cut in for a dance?”

Mabel squinted, “with whom?”

You bowed, and offered a hand, “The lovely lady, of course.”

She gasped, “Why, I’m enchanted.” She spoke in a posh British accent, “of course, I’d love that.”

She released the guy and took your hand. You glanced to the fleeing rich dude, who offered you a nod of thanks. You nodded back, happy to save him. Gliding to the dance floor with her, you sighed, “Girlie, he was not into you.”

”I think he was warming up,” she said, leading the dance.

“Dude, you gotta learn some boundaries.”

She pursed her lips, “Are you sure he wasn’t into me?”

You laughed, “dude, yes. He looked terrified.”

…

The party went on. Cake was cut, dances were had, as it stretched deeper into the night, the music shifted from waltzing classics to more current songs. Songs you could actually dance to, competently this time, with Mabel by your side immediately, Pacifica quick to follow, and Dipper reluctant to join. But you made him. And he danced endearingly awkwardly, much worse without the clear and define steps of a waltz to guide him.

And unfortunately, despite what you felt in the moment, the party did eventually end. When it was just you and your friends left, and you all crashed.

And in the early afternoon when you all woke, you, Mabel and Dipper did not want to stay and help clean up. Pacifica was quite understanding.

And so, you were started home. The instructions Stan gave you were simply to borrow a car and drive the twins yourself illegally. He was a great driving instructor. So you loaded them into the car, drove them to the shack.

”You coming?” Dipper asked, seeing how you weren’t getting out after you pulled in.

“Fuck no,” you laughed, “I’m taking a nap at home man.”

A flicker of disappointment crossed his face. He looked back at the door Mabel already disappeared through, then back to you. “Then do you want the book club book, so you can catch up before we read next?”

You smiled, “yeah, actually. I think context might help my understanding.”

”Okay, hold on, I’ll grab it from my room,” he said, starting to the shack. “Don’t go anywhere.” You leaned back in the seat, and waited. Soon enough Dipper was scurrying back out, book in hand. “Alright, here, now we’ll be on the same level,” he said, leaning against the open car window.

”And this is a series?”

Dipper nodded.

”Then I’m excited for book club going forward,” you said, yawning. “Anyway, I’m fucking off, see you later?”

Dipper waved slightly, pushing himself off the car, “Alright, see ya.”

You blew a kiss at him, making an exaggerated mwah sound while winking. He shook his head, hiding a smile as you drove off.

Next chapter

Man I wrote this in like March it’s weird looking at it again.

#x reader #dipper pines x reader #gravity falls x reader #my writing #dipper pines #dipper x reader #douce amere #gravity falls

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yantooning · 1 year

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Hi! I've been on quite the gravity falls kick lately, so it's so nice to see someone writing for that fandom!

I was wondering if you could please write some Headcanons about Ford Pines (romantic) and Stan, Dipper and Mabel (platonic) taking care of a reader who's chronically ill and/or recovering from surgery?

I just got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and it's kinda bumming me out, and I also am prepping for a really big scary jaw surgery. In case you're wondering about symptoms and such, the symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis are just a lot of pain and inflammation in my finger and knee joints - I always wear compression gloves and knee sleeves to help with that, alongside using antiinflammatory gels.

As for the jaw surgery, I won't have my jaw wired shut (thank God) but I'll still have trouble talking and will need to be on a liquid diet for awhile, as well as just being in an insane amount of pain. I imagine the Pines would come up with a 'thumbs up or thumbs down ' system for that sort of thing, and Mabel would insist on making all sorts of soft dishes herself. There would be a LOT of milkshakes and ice cream lol.

You can choose either one of these scenarios you feel most comfortable with, but I'd be ecstatic if you could do both! But I understand if that's not possible, so it's up to you. Have a great day, I'm wishing you the best hun 🥰

hi there!! id be happy to complete your request :) im chronically ill as well (i have a load of illnesses but my chronic pain stems from fibro and EDS, which is not super fun) and have had a handful of surgeries so i understand completely how it can be such a bummer!! prepare for some gravith falls lovins >:) hope your recovery goes well and everything goes smoothly for you!! wishing you sm love and care!!

THE PINES X READER RECOVERING FROM SURGERY!

ford pines x reader (romantic), platonic pines twins + stan

general headcanons

ford does SO MUCH research prepping for surgery. like to the point of he knows more about the entire procedure + your condition and how to care for you than you yourself!

hes just so nervous even if its a low risk surgery, he just doesnt wanna see you in any pain!! hes gotten surgery before too (metal plate in his head) so he also knows a bit of what the recovery process is like.

dipper does his own research as well, not as extensive as his great uncle but enough to know what to look out for and how to care for you just in case he's needed. also so that he can tell mabel to stop doing something because lets face it she is very chaotic LOL

she means the absolute best but she's never gotten surgery nor is she chronically ill, and for someone recovering, could be a bit over stimulating.

stan doesnt do research but he DOES make the den all nice and cozy for you once youve returned from your surgery. he allows you to use the chair he normally reclines in and has a fold up table situated next to it with anything you could possibly need. he doesnt say much but he shows he cares by doing this, and you appreciate it so much

mabel sews you custom compression sleeves, socks, braces, you name it! that girl is crafty as hell and her love language is making things.

dipper isn't as creative as his sister, or crafty, but he's always offering to make med runs for you if you're too tired to go!! he likes being able to help in any way he can, and doesn't mind driving out of town to get anything you need.

ford probably figures out his own sciency or magical recipe for a topical gel for you! hes wicked smart and wants to ease your pain in every possible way he can. hes putting all of his phds to use!!!

stan also has arthritis!! a different version, but he understands your pain. he's got a load of orthopedic equipment he's happy to let you use. he knows how much of a sucker his brother is for you, and you're an important part of the family. he'll do what he can to help out!!

scenario

"We're back!" Ford's voice exclaimed from the doorway, helping you slowly walk in and sat down in Stan's recliner, which had been set up at the perfect angle for you to lay comfortably. Ford carefully helps you into the chair as two pairs of footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs (one pair running excitedly and the other walking at a fast pace).

"They're still a little loopy from the anesthesia, and can't really talk, so we'll be doing the thumbs system we talked about earlier, kids," Ford said, gently stroking your hair in a soothing manner whilst talking to Dipper and Mabel.

"I MADE YOU A GET WELL SWEATER!!! Waddles tried eating it but I made sure it was completely in tack for you when you got back!" Mabel said to you excitedly, proudly presenting her sweater. It was a red rust color, with the words "Get Well Soon!!" hand stitched to it. Sweaters were her love languahe, you had discovered while living with the Pines family (cue your closet, having its own section dedicated to Mabel sweaters).

You managed a small smile and a shaky thumbs up, and this was enough to make Mabel happily set it on the folding table next to the recliner. Dipper look like he was struck with an idea, and rushed into the kitchen, grabbing your pain medication and a glass of water.

He gently set it on the table next to you, and you gave another shaky thumbs up.

"Sorry about that, Grunkle Stan told me to set that out but I got so absorbed in the new journal," He said sheepishly, and you gave a small shrug to let him know you weren't upset.

"Ooh! That reminds me, dinner is on MABEL TONIGHT!" Mabel happily exclaimed, fist pumping the air excitedly. She was rarely allowed in the kitchen, or more specifically, near the oven. Even if she wouldn't be cooking anything, the thought of caring for someone and making them a dinner of ice cream and smoothies was very appealing to her.

At some point you had fallen asleep, Ford sitting on the couch next to you gently holding your hand. Stan had joined him on the couch while the two watched TV. Ford eventually too took a small nap on the couch while still grasping your hand.

When you awoke, it was to Mabel gently tapping your shoulder, careful not to harm you.

"I hate wake you up, you and Grunkle Ford were so cute!! It was definitely a scrapbookortunity... But I have your dinner!! Vanilla and chocolate ice cream with a strawberry banana smoothie!! Courtesy of Mabel," she added the last part with a playful wink before handing you the bowl and setting the smoothie on the table.

You could hear Stan and Dipper in the kitchen while Ford slowly woke up from his nap on the couch. He rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses before glancing at you lovingly. How you could still look so lovable after getting surgery and ravenously eating ice cream, he wasn't sure. But he loved you so much he didn't question it.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, mumbling a small greeting against it. You slowed your eating and gave a weak smile, to which he happilt returned.

Yeah, you were glad you had the Pines while you recovered. You wouldn't have anyone else.

#stanford pines x reader #ford pines x reader #stanley pines x reader #stan pines x reader #mabel pines x reader #dipper pines x reader #gravity falls x reader #gf x reader #disney x reader #headcanons #oneshot

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yall-hate-kids-tourney · 4 months

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Who has been screwed over by the fandom more?

Propaganda below the cut

Gregory:

So Gregory's story isn't fully filled out yet (because this is FNaF, why would it be?) But the story we're getting involves him being mind controlled and forced to be a killer, only to be set free somehow and losing his memories of what happened. So he's a preteen who's been hypnotized but somehow the crimes are his fault even though a major theme is the battle for control and a plot point is that he can't remember what he did.

The thing that makes me so mad is that at the end of the Ruin DLC, Gregory's voice comes in from the speakers of the elevator you're on and tells you "We can't risk being followed" before the elevator drops. This would look really bad if not for the fact you were just getting chased by a robot that has been using Gregory's voice to lure you down there the whole time. People are blaming Gregory for 'killing his best friend' when there's a much higher chance it was the Mimic who dropped the elevator.

Mabel Pines:

girl gets so much flack for being... immature and kind of selfish at age 12? like she had whole video essays made on why she is a horrible person who deserves punishment. god forbid girls be silly

----

i've never watched this show in my life but dear sweet fat of the hog. y'all treat her horribly. free my girl she did nothing wrong except exist as a preteen girl.

----

!!! Spoilers for Gravity Falls last 5 episodes !!!

This has gone down a lot but when the Weirdmaggedon arc was happening, the finale of the series, a big part of the fandom started hating Mabel because she accidentally caused the Weirdmaggedon (basically an apocalypse + bizarre shit like the water tower becoming an eight-legged monster with a giant mouth).

For context, in the episode that starts this arc, "Dipper and Mabel vs The Future", Mabel is really excited to the end of their summer vacation at Grunkle Stan's house, since it will be her and Dipper's 13th birthday and they will enter high school (her idea of high school of course coming from teen movies). But then this whole idea starts to shatter when Wendy tells her that high school isn't like a Disney musical, but it's okay, she will get through this since she will be with Dipper, her twin brother...

Except, that Dipper receives an invitation by Grunkle Stan's scientist brother Ford to become his apprentice after summer ends, staying in Gravity Falls, without Mabel. When she discovers it, she gets really mad at him and in a fit of rage, she accidentally picks Dipper's bag instead of hers and runs off to the woods.

When she gets there, Blendin, a time-travelling friend of theirs finds her and tells her that he has a way of making her brother stay with her, and make the summer take a little more to end, and that he just needed a little thing that Dipper has in his bag. That thing is a dimensional rift that Dipper and Ford contained to not cause the Weirdmaggedon, but Mabel didn't knew about that and gives it to Blendin. Blendin then breaks it and it's revealed that Bill Cipher was controlling Blendin to get the rift and release the Weirdmaggedon. He then traps Mabel in a bubble, starting the final arc of the series.

So, a few episodes later, that bubble she's in is revealed to be a world of fantasy that she controls, and that she didn't want to leave that world, as she was scared of growing up etc.

Context given, A LOT OF PEOPLE HATED HER FOR THIS. Suddenly people started seeing Mabel as just a selfish girl who wanted things only her way, when she was only a 12-year-old scared of growing up without her twin brother (they do end up going back together at the end but still).

The worst part is that apparently the people behind it took note of this, and on the comics that where released after the finale, she is a selfish spoiled brat. I haven't read the comics though so I'm going off what some people said about it.

#yall hate kids tourney #round 1a #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #gravity falls #mabel pines

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trashcanfanfics · 1 year

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Hey! Hope you're having a great day! Any chance you could do something for Ford x Reader (Gravity Falls). Maybe something where they see each other for the first time after he comes out of the portal? Thank you!

there's 2 ways this could go: you 2 meet for the first time when he steps out of the portal, or you were in a relationship beforehand and see each other for the first time in decades when he comes out of the portal. guess which one I chose :)

You shielded your eyes from the bright light of the, now destroyed, portal. Someone stepped out. Your eyes adjusted and you looked in confusion. What was going on? God, you knew Stan wasn't who he said he was to the kids, to anyone. You knew he wasn't Stanford Pines, but you didn't know he was doing something this insane. What the absolute fuck was going on?

"What, who is that?" Dipper's voice voiced your collective confusion. Stan didn't even look back at him, he kept rubbing his sore head and looking at the figure now nearing him.

"The author of the journals," Stan's response was full of awe, "my brother." We all looked in shock at him. You couldn't believe it. Was that really...? Mabel broke the two seconds of silence.

"Is this the part where one of us faints?" Her wide eyed expression didn't change, or even look at Soos as he replied that he had it covered and fell back on the ground. You rushed over to make sure he was okay, fanning his face. The shock of the whole situation sunk in as you frantically tried to occupy yourself with anything other than the person that came out of the portal. With any luck, he wouldn't have noticed you and you could slip away without talking to him.

A small fight between the elderly twins about the portal was the background to your screaming thoughts. How? Why? Didn't he think about the consequences if things went terribly? More than they did, in your personal opinion? Soos woke up in time for Mabel to squeeze a backstory out of Stan.

The story was one you'd heard before, from the other perspective. The tale of two little boys who grew up and had to go their separate ways. One didn't want to, and it caused a terrible accident that ruined the other's dream. It was a moving story, you cried when you thought about it too long. Maybe that was other feelings tied into it, you couldn't be sure.

Ford introduced himself to the kids and Soos, before looking at you. You stared at each other for a moment. A part of you felt ashamed, you were older now, no spring chicken. Many a wrinkle graced your face, and while you normally would be proud to show them off, this was different. You should have worn a nicer cardigan.

"Y/n?" Ford looked at you like he expected you to be literally anywhere else. "Is...What are you doing here?" You flushed at the way your name rolled off his tongue like it used to all those years ago. He still had that effect of you. How embarrassing.

"Wait! You know each other?" Dipper looked at you in awe. Mabel gasped and ran over in between you both with her hands clasped together. You raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Another backstory? Yes, please!" She made herself comfortable on a random piece of debris nearby. "Go on, I'm listening." You huffed and rolled your eyes at her antics. Ford was still staring at you, everyone was now.

"Oh boy." You sighed and looked off in another direction. "We met in college." You waited a moment, hoping that that would be it. Mabel groaned and motioned for you to continue. "Fine, fine. We met in college and he was in a class I was taking. We graduated having only said maybe two words to each other--"

"Fourteen." Everyone looked at Ford. He coughed and looked away from you for the first time since he realized you were here. "Fourteen words." A giddy feeling bubbled in your chest. He counted the words you said to each other? And remembered the number all this time?

"Having said fourteen words to each other." You looked to Mabel as you corrected yourself. "I traveled across the world for a few years, then across the country for a few more years. My degree was in folklore, and I minored in literature, so I was traveling to gain as much experience in living in the areas of creatures I was most interested in to write my own story. I'd heard about Gravity Falls and how strange it was, so naturally I drove as fast as I could to get here.

"I was living in a little cabin of my own on the edge of town, close enough to the grocery store, but far enough to not be seen by anyone who wasn't looking. Private, but still part of the community. The environment where folktales are cultivated is very important, you know. So I was walking in the forest to really get a feel for the environment. I'd already seen many a creature that existed here, and I was cataloguing them all, just as I'd done wherever else I went.

"Yes, creatures from folktales and legends exist outside of this town." You held up your hand before Dipper was able to form his question. "As I was walking, I heard other footsteps, so I went to investigate. I originally thought it was another creature to get acquainted with, so I was excited. When I moved the foliage out of the way, I saw Ford in quite the predicament. He had gotten himself caught up in a rare, and very pointy, vine. By the time I'd gotten him free, it was already very dark and his cabin was farther than mine, so I let him stay the night with me. We got to know each other and the rest is history." You shrugged as you spared a glance back at Ford. He gaze was back to you, almost dazed in the awed expression. Stan rolled his eyes in the background.

"That's all well and dandy, but what about the way you've been looking at each other?" Mabel threw her hands up. Soos joined in as he crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I wanna know about the 'history' part!" Soos furrowed his brows. You huffed a laugh and went to hobble over to your own piece of debris. Ford took a step in your direction to follow before thinking better of it. You groaned as you sat down. The pain of being thrown into a wall catching up to your aching bones.

"Tough." You popped some of your back and sighed. Stan picked up your cane and handed it to you. You smiled at him and took it. "Besides, we have more pressing things right now."

"They're right, the place is surrounded by federal agents." Dipper sighed. "How are we supposed to get outta here?" No sooner had he said that had the agents heard you all.

"Oh dang, I was so spellbound by the stories that I forgot about those dudes!" Soos flung his arms dramatically up into the air. Dipper gasped., declared Soos a genius and pulled out the memory eraser.

Ford was able to get rid of the agents and everything was fine. You decided to let Ford and Stan have their time together. A small goodbye to the kids and Soos, and you were off. You waved to Stan as you went for the door. Ford caught you as you were going down the rickety steps.

"Wait. Can I please know the answer to my question." He held your shoulder with one of his hands. "What are you still doing in Gravity Falls? I thought you left." It took you a moment to formulate a response.

"I did, but it felt...weird. To not be here." You looked into his eyes. "To just leave you in the state I did. I knew something was wrong, and I should have stayed." You pat the hand on your shoulder and picked it up to hold it properly.

"Why, after all these years, are you still here. You knew I was gone, didn't you?" He sighed when you nodded. "Then why?" A sad smile curved your lips as you looked at your joined hands. You let it go gently.

"I think that's enough backstory from me today." You turned back towards the direction of your cabin. "Goodbye, Ford, I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. Hopefully." You mumbled the last bit to yourself as you made your way to your thanfully-in-shape car and drove back to your little home. A giddy feeling mixed with bitter-sweetness filled your chest. You hoped you could see him again.

#gravity falls x reader #ford pines x reader #trashcan answers you

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yahoo201027 · 2 months

Text

Day in Fandom History: March 1…

As Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos are trapped in a bottomless pit, they decide to tell stories to pass the time with Dipper having a new voice, the Pines Twins and Soos trapped in a pinball game, and Mabel wanting Stan to be honest through an object that she found from the journal. “Bottomless Pit” premiered on this day, 11 Years Ago.

#Day in Fandom History #11 Years Ago #Gravity Falls #Season 1 #Episode 14 #Bottomless Pit #Cartoon #Animation

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sivyera · 2 years

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Cuddling with Dipper Pines HC's

PAIRING: Dipper Pines x reader

WARNINGS: bad grammar

CONTAINS: fluff

SONG: Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

gif is not mine

I think he doesn't like physical touch until he met you

when he met you he realized how touch starved he actually is

like Mabel gives him hugs most of the time but it doesn't feel the same

at first he wasn't really sure of his birth mark

so he was kinda nervous when you start playing with his hair

but when you comforted him about it, he relaxed and started enjoying when you play with his hair

and now he loves it when you do it

he loves being a big spoon

he loves how you feel in his arms

he feels like he's protecting you and he feels really strong and manly

but when he feels sad or not good enough he loves bury his face into your neck or chest

he loves when he wakes up earlier than you so he can admiring you with hearts in his eyes

he loves when you come to him at night, sleepy so he can cuddle you until you both fall asleep

when he feels confident enough he hugs you from behind

he likes kissing your face all over

he wants to be face to face when you two cuddle

so he can look at your eyes

he likes reading you stories or telling you about monsters/creatures he find in Journal 3

he knows how much you love his voice

but also he was little insecure/nervous when his voice cracks

so when you told him you find it cute he blush so hard, but he was also very happy

when he got into argument with Mabel he reach you right after that

he snuggle into you, hug you tight as much he can and not let you go for hours

he also loves to hold you by the waist while you two cuddle

when you cuddle you have most of interesting conversation

Mabel take photos all the time of you two cuddling

she have whole diary for those photos of you two

he is actually pretty tall (he is 5'9 !!) so when he sees you with his red t-shirt, he melts

he feels very fuzzy and warm inside

he put big stupid smile on his face, his eyes turn into hearts and he immediately wants to cuddle with you

the shirt leaves his cologne on you so he feels like you belong only him (if you know what I mean)

he just loves spending time with you

#dipper pines #gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #gravity falls dipper #gravity falls dipper pines #gravity falls dipper pines x reader #dipper pines x reader #dipper pines x reader cuddle #gravity falls imagine #dipper pines imagine #dipper pines cuddle

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ckret2 · 11 months

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Guess who's finally satisfied with part 3 of "Human Bill Cipher (In A Purple Bedsheet Toga) Attempts To Get His Revenge On The Pines"! (Real title TBD.) Part one and part two for y'all who missed it. When we last left off:

For all Bill's struggling, flailing, and wheezing, he couldn't do much from beneath an entire school bus's worth of Mabels and Dippers. Voice thin from crushed lungs, Bill demanded, "What—how—where did you come from?!"

The entire population of Mabels grinned. The one sitting atop the pile crowed, "I think you mean... when did we come from!" Her duplicates cheered.

"Two hours from now," a Dipper added. "Our bus gets here in two hours."

#####

Two hours from then, Mabel, Dipper, and Waddles got off the bus from California and looked around the bus stop with wide smiles.

Mabel's smile faded when she couldn't spot anybody. "Huh, I thought Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford were meeting us. They got here this afternoon, right?"

"Maybe their flight was delayed?" Dipper suggested—then spotted another Mabel and Dipper running up. "Whoa, what—?"

At the top of his lungs, the new Dipper shouted, "AMBIDEXTROUS PLATYPUS FARTS!"

Mabel cracked up. "WHAT?"

Dipper gasped. "It's my password! After all the evil clones and shapeshifters and bodysnatchers we dealt with last summer, I came up with a secret password—"

New Dipper cut in, "—so if I ever came up to myself and claimed to be a time traveler, I'd know I'm telling the truth!" New Dipper and New Mabel skidded to a stop. "We have an emergency, guys. Bill is Back—"

Mabel cut in, "Wait, Bill-Bill?"

"Bill-Bill!" New Mabel said. "And he's possessing a tourist and about to shoot Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford and Soos right now!" She paused. "I mean—right now, two hours ago."

New Dipper handed a time tape to his double. "You've got to go back to 5:18 p.m., take Bill down, and take his laser and this away from him! And then... do that again a bunch of times in a row, I guess."

New Mabel added, "I painted an X in the future so you'll know where to tackle him in the past!" She offered a can of red spray paint to her double. "Here, you'll need this."

Dipper dropped his duffel bag and shrugged off his bulging backpack. "We don't have any time to lose! We'll come back for our luggage later. Let's go, Mabel!" She dropped her bags as well, and the four twins sprinted for the Mystery Shack with Waddles chasing as fast as he could.

Until Mabel skidded to a stop. "Hold on! We've got a time thingy, right? We don't need to hurry! We can just jump back to 5:18 from any time."

"Oh, yeah." "That's true." "Good thinking, me!"

The original twins retrieved their luggage, and the group headed toward the shack again at a leisurely stroll, with Waddles trotting happily between the two Mabels. The evening weather was lovely.

####

"What about you, Bill? What are you doing here?" Dipper demanded.

"Yeah," Mabel added, "shouldn't you be dead?"

Bill let out as heavy a sigh as he could manage when pinned down by a ton of teenagers. "Well..."

####

This is where Bill's explanatory flashback would be, if he were cooperative.

He wasn't cooperative.

####

"You really thought I was ever dead? Boy, look at gullible over here!" Bill laughed.

The Dippers and Mabels exchanged a collective look, and without a word, shifted so more of the pile was weighing directly down on Bill.

He wheezed. "No sense of humor."

"I've got his time tape!" one Dipper shouted, holding it above the crowd.

"And I've got the laser," a Mabel called, waving it in the air. "Can I keep...?"

Ford gave her a stern look and held out his hand. She sighed and handed it over.

"Okay, Mabel Number One here!" another Mabel shouted, shaking her spray can. "Everybody move forward, I've got an X to mark!" The group obligingly shuffled forward, prompting more displeased grunts from Bill. Mabel considered his feet thoughtfully before spray painting an X where she estimated he'd been standing before.

"I'm not gonna lie, I thought we were goners," Soos said. "That was crazy! How did you two do that!"

Bill snapped, "By pulling a very illegal time loop. I throw one little party and Time Baby himself invades my pad, but two brats pull off as clear-cut a paradox as you can imagine..."

The Dippers and Mabels worked through the logic of their own rescue as they realized they wouldn't have known to come if they hadn't told themselves. Dipper said, "Maybe this is actually the altered timeline, and in the original timeline you did kill them and we had to steal your time tape to change the past?"

Ford took a time tape from a Dipper who had two. "Although that does beg the question of why the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron isn't here to investigate all these time loops. Or how you got so many of yourselves here at the same time. Has this tape been tampered with...?"

Bill said, "Yeah, smart guy, everybody knows time tapes are designed to prevent overlapping time loops! So how are there so many kids here? The mystery must be killing you!" He laughed. "I could tell you, if you let me up."

Ford shot him a dark look. "You know I won't."

"I know." Bill sneered at Ford. "I just want you thinking about all the things I could've taught you. Your loss."

Bill's eyes looked the same as they always had—maybe a little jaundiced, a little too human, but those were still Bill's eyes. Ford had never seen such wrath in Bill's eyes before.

He looked away. When he properly met the woman Bill was possessing, he wouldn't want to remember Bill glaring through her eyes.

####

While the adults found something to tie up Bill, the Dippers entertained themselves by journaling and the Mabels by decorating each other's faces with scented markers.

Without anything better to do, Bill twisted his head to watch the kids. "Hey. Can I get some art?"

The nearest Mabel looked at him, looked at the closest Dipper (who considered the odds that this was a trap, and shrugged warily), and looked back at Bill. Ethically, the alien menace who'd threatened her family didn't deserve nice things—and pettily, she didn't want him to have nice things—but then, when she tilted her head just slightly, rather than seeing Bill Cipher, she saw a vast expanse of unblemished face skin just begging for artwork. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter if a murderous monster got to enjoy the benefits of scented markers, as long as Mabel got to enjoy the benefits of making art.

Anyway, who else's face was she gonna draw on? Dipper had already turned her down and her duplicates were running out of facial real estate. "I don't see why not! What do you want?"

"Draw me."

Mabel grimaced. "Ooh, that's gonna be a no. Grunkle Ford says drawings of you are magic?"

Bill sighed loudly. "Sheesh, you sound as paranoid as him. What are my options?"

"I specialize in tiger masks, butterfly masks, rainbows, unicorns, spiders, aaand flowers!"

"Fine, gimme a butterfly."

"Colors?"

"Dealer's choice."

"Oooh." Mabel considered his face, grabbed her banana, cherry, and raspberry markers, and got to work.

When the adults returned to secure Bill, he kicked, clawed, struggled, flailed, and snapped his teeth the whole time—but without the advantage of the time tape and a gift shop of projectile souvenirs, he only wore himself out. By the time they determined him sufficiently immobilized—hands cuffed behind his back, arms chained against his chest, knees and ankles tied up—and the twin pile freed him, Bill was gasping for breath, eyes squeezed shut. He didn't even attempt to sit up. Stan and Ford tried not to look too close at the trembling human form collapsed on the stony cavern floor.

"And the final touch..." Soos took off the fuzzy pink belt he'd been wearing all day and wrapped it around Bill's waist. "Yes. Finally." He paused. "Hey, I was right, this belt does look good with that bedsheet. Compliments the pink in your butterfly, too."

Bill opened one eye. Voice strained, he conceded, "It's not a bad look."

"Is that unicorn hide? Excellent work." Ford clapped a hand on Soos's shoulder. "A few moonstones and mercury, and Bill will be trapped inside that body until we find a way to extract and contain him."

"He will? Hey, whaddaya know!" Soos beamed. "Fashionable and functional."

Ford tried to ignore Bill's gaze on the side of his head—attentive, calculating, scheming. "I'll... get the supplies and be right back."

The Dippers and Mabels consulted the tally marks on their palms, added one more each with Mabel's markers, arranged themselves in a semicircle behind the X marking Bill's spot, and returned to the past.

The Dipper and Mabel with twenty-five tallies high-fived. "Yes!"

"Finally," Dipper sighed. "It felt like we were gonna be repeating the same fifteen minutes forever."

Stan—currently guarding Bill with Ford's laser—glanced over at Dipper. "Hold on. If you kids have been doing some kind of crazy time loop, then that means you've been tackling this creep over and over for...?"

"Over six hours," Dipper groaned.

"We ate my last pocket bus snacks ten loops ago," Mabel said. "On the bright side, I smell so good now?"

Dipper sniffed his own hand's tally marks. "Ew."

"Haaa! You wanted the black licorice marker, bro!"

Wiping his palm on his shorts, Dipper said, "And we got up at five to catch our bus. We've been up almost twenty-one hours. I'm completely drained."

"Pffft!"

Stan, Soos, and the twins turned to give Bill a wary look.

"'Oh no! I'm a delicate little human! I've gone half a day without a REM cycle and three hours without glucose! How can I function like this?'" His laugh was a wretched, hacking cough. "Ahh, I keep forgetting how weak you are."

"You're one to talk," Dipper snapped. "These weak humans took you down! Again!"

"Wow, amazing, if you pile five thousand pounds of dead weight on top of a body made of calcium sticks wrapped in raw meat, it can't get up. Congratulations on learning how gravity works!" Bill rolled onto his back, and—with a laborious effort akin to a kid in gym class attempting one sit-up too many—managed to heave himself up to a sitting position. "You got lucky—" he cast a dirty look at the X spray painted on the ground, "—but luck changes." His lower butterfly wings crinkled as a smile twisted up his face. "It's just a matter of time before I get out. Do you really think a bunch of stupid sub-centenarian children like you can stop that?"

Stan bristled. "What I think is you've got a butterfly-shaped bullseye in the middle of your face and I've got a laser with your name on it if you don't shut up!"

Mabel gasped quietly. "My butterfly."

Bill laughed at Stan's anger, mouth open, all teeth. It seemed like far too many teeth, coming from a creature that shouldn't have had a mouth. "Oh, that's precious! Sure, go ahead, Stanley, let's find out what'll happen—!" Bill froze as Stan shoved the laser between his eyes.

"Maybe I will!"

Dipper flinched, "Grunkle Stan, what if it's a trap—"

Bill headbutted the barrel hard enough to knock the laser out of Stan's hand; and, with an unexpected burst of grace, even with his body restrained in four place, he was back on his feet. Bill's voice plummeted to a demonic roar that hardly seemed to fit inside the short human body. "Do you want to see what I can do?! You wanna see what I'm still capable of?! FINE! I'll SHOW you what... wh-what..."

Bill's eyes rolled back and his face went slack. He flopped face first to the ground.

The humans stared. Stan asked, "Is, uh. Is this what you're capable of?"

The back of Bill's head didn't answer.

Soos rolled him onto his back and tugged up one eyelid. "Guys, I think he fainted. Is that a good thing, or...?"

Mabel poked his arm. "This again? You'd think he'd have learned to grab an energy drink by now."

Dipper said, "Maybe he's still trying to drink them with his eyeballs." Mabel laughed.

Stan grunted. "I'm fine with whatever gets him to shut up a few minutes."

Dipper gasped. "Wait—if we let him escape this body, he could be anywhere! The belt! Grunkle Ford, the moonstones!"

Dipper and Mabel ran to find him.

####

Stan said, "I say we sit him up, shoot him in the back of the head, and bury the body right in here." Dipper and Mabel stared at him with wide eyes.

"Believe me, Stanley, I'd love to do that." (Dipper and Mabel turned their wide-eyed stare on Ford.) "But all that would accomplish is murdering some innocent woman while Bill himself escapes her brain. Assuming we managed to contain him in her brain at all!" It had taken almost a minute after Bill fainted for Ford to coat the belt in mercury and duct tape on several moonstones. "Kill her and he'd just come back wearing another poor victim."

Stan considered that. "Could he escape her brain if we buried her alive?" (Dipper and Mabel turned again to stare at him.)

There were no good solutions. There was no point in making a new memory gun to retry the stunt they'd pulled during Weirdmageddon, since it clearly hadn't killed Bill the first time; and setting the gun to erase "Bill Cipher" from the puppet's brain would just erase her memories of Bill rather than Bill himself. They could try going into the victim's mindscape after Bill, but all the tricks Ford knew to capture dreams or exorcise spirits only might work on an entity like Bill—or might let him hop into one of their heads.

First, they needed to make sure Bill was still in this body; and if he was, they needed something foolproof to extract and destroy him.

And until then, they had to contain him.

####

Melody turned toward the opening vending machine door, relief on her face. "Oh, Soos! There you are! I was getting worried. I've been looking for you for twenty minutes, the gift shop looks like a tornado hit it..." She trailed off, taking in the sight of Soos and Stan carrying an unconscious, tied-up woman wrapped in a bedsheet with a butterfly on her face, and Ford training a laser gun on her. "Please tell me that's some kind of evil fairy queen and not an actual tourist."

"Worse, it's Bill Cipher!"

Stan flinched. "Soos—"

"Yeah, he took over this tourist in a cool toga, I think he's been staking out the Shack the last few months with time travel, and he tried to kill the Pineses—Dipper and Mabel had to stop him and..." Soos looked at Stan. "Oh, hold on, was I not supposed to share that?"

"Of course not!"

Ford said, "This is a very delicate situation, and the more people get involved, the less we can control it. We can't tell anyone—"

Abuelita stuck her head through the living room "Employees Only" door. "Mijo, here you are. Who is this? A... guest?"

"Oh, hey Abuelita. This is Bill Cipher—you know, the triangle guy? Yeah, we caught him trying to kill us, so we're gonna keep... him..." Soos trailed off under Stan's glare. "Oh, come on! You can't expect me not to tell Abuelita!"

Abuelita gave Bill's unconscious form a calm, considering look, said, "I will cook an extra serving for dinner," and shut the door behind her.

"Wait wait wait," Melody said. "Triangle guy Bill Cipher? Like, turned-everyone-into-statues Bill Cipher?"

Soos shot Stan an apologetic look, then said "Yeah, that one."

"So, have you called the police yet? Or—or the FBI, or...?"

"It's cool, we've got it all under control," Soos said. "We're gonna lock him in the cellar."

"You're what?"

"Yeah, I've got a mattress down there he can take. There's a TV, the pinball machine... Do you think Bill likes pinball?"

"He won't be here long," Stan reassured Melody. "I've got some out-of-state 'connections' from a previous 'business venture' who have 'resources.'" He'd hooked his arms through Bill's armpits to free his hands up to make finger quotes. "I'm calling in a 'favor.' They can hold him somewhere 'comfortable,' until..."

Firmly, Ford said, "Until we've come up with something more permanent."

Stan nodded. "Once we're sure we trapped him in this girl, he'll be outta here."

Soos said, "Oh, hey—do you think we might need to close the Shack tomorrow? I should go tell Wendy. Be right back." He handed Bill's feet to Ford and headed to the living room.

"Oh no you don't, hold on!" Stan dropped Bill's head on the floor and followed Soos.

Ford looked down at Bill in dismay, trying to figure out how best to pick him up without risking Bill trying to bite out his throat again if he woke up. Mabel and Dipper peered around him to help consider the predicament; Mabel said, "Just drag him." Dipper nodded.

Melody screwed up her face, but sighed in resignation. "I've got it." She helped heave Bill back up. "But I want a really good explanation why we aren't letting the cops handle the dangerous superpowered criminal."

Ford said, "Melody, I know you haven't lived here long. But have you seen the police in this town?"

Melody sucked thoughtfully on her teeth. "Fair point. But what about the government? If there are actual interdimensional aliens on the planet, surely there's some kind of Guys In Black or X-Folders squad to deal with them?" She paused at the gift shop exit until Mabel got the door open.

"None that know as much about Bill's abilities as we do. Once he's out of our hands, we wouldn't be able to ensure he's properly contained," Ford said. "Besides—I'm afraid involving the government might play right into his hands. Bill has been pulling the strings on human politics for millennia, and there's no way to know just how many of our public servants secretly answer to him—"

Melody made another face. "Yeeeah, no, nah, I don't believe in any of that... 'shadow government' conspiracy theory stuff."

"And in most contexts, your skepticism would be wise." Ford and Melody let Dipper and Mabel haul open the cellar doors, and then carefully descended the stairs. "But where Bill's involved—there are few facets of human history that haven't been drawn into his tangled web. He's a master manipulator, and our world has been his pet project for millions of years. For crying out loud, he even helped fake the moon landing—"

Flatly, Melody said, "The moon landing."

"Yes!"

"How do you know this."

Ford and Melody dropped Bill on the mattress at the bottom of the stairs, and Ford gestured impatiently at him. "He admitted it himself! When he was busy boasting about how he helped 'inspire' Kubrick's work."

Melody planted her hands on her hips. "So, you're telling me a 'master manipulator'... told you he faked the moon landing... and... you believe him?"

Ford stared at her.

####

"Hey Wendy," Soos said, fiddling with office phone's cord. "This is Soos. Your boss. Listen, I know you have a shift tomorrow, but uh, you might not need to come in, okay? I mean—maybe. It depends. Still figuring it out. I'll call you in the morning." He glanced at Stan, who sharply nodded.

Wendy said, "Oh? How come?"

While Stan furiously mouthed Soos do NOT tell her anything or I swear— Soos said, "Uhh, Shack might be closed tomorrow, that's all."

"Oh, is it for like family reunion stuff?" Tone brightening, she said, "Hey, is it cool if I swing by anyway? I wanna come say hi to Dipper and Mabel."

Soos frantically waved a hand. "Nooo, you can't! For. Reasons."

Wendy was silent a moment. Soos bit his lip. Wendy said, "For... weird scary phenomenon reasons?"

Soos looked at Stan for guidance. Stan shrugged and made a so-so gesture. Soos said, "Yeah, pretty much."

Wendy laughed. "Oh man, seriously? Give the Pines heck for me for getting into something the first day of summer vacation. Text me every half hour so I know you're alive and I don't have to come over with an axe."

Soos sighed in relief. "Thanks, Wendy."

As Soos was hanging up, Ford barged into the office, Dipper and Mabel behind him. "Stanley, this is urgent. As soon as we've dealt with Bill, we need to visit the moon."

Stan processed that, and grinned. "All right, I'm game!"

Ford's watch beeped, startling him. "What—oh! That's right, I set a reminder for us to go..." He paused, looking at Dipper and Mabel. "... Pick you two up from the bus stop."

Dipper gasped. "Right! Mabel, I almost forgot! We'll be here any minute! We've got to go tell ourselves to stop Bill! Where did the time tape go?"

"And the spray paint! I gave myself spray paint—"

"Kids—hold on a second." Stan nudged past Ford to kneel in front of Dipper and Mabel. "Listen. I know this isn't how you wanted your vacation to start—especially after we spent all year convincing your parents there won't be any more apocalypses this time—and, I'm sorry. But as soon as you get back from the bus, treat it like you just got here for the first time. We'll say hi, we'll have dinner, you two can make plans to visit your friends tomorrow—and we're going to keep all this as far from you as possible."

Dipper started in first. "But, Grunkle Stan—"

"What if you need our help?"

"We've defeated Bill more times than anyone else—"

"And we just saved your lives again!"

"Whoa, easy!" Stan put his hands on their shoulders. "I know you can deal with him—but you shouldn't have to. You're kids, it's summer, you're here to have fun."

"Stan's right," Ford said. "We've already contained Bill—so try not to let him weigh on your mind."

Stan gave them an encouraging smile. "Let the old guys clean up this mess, okay?"

They didn't answer. Instead, they exchanged a glance, and then leaned in to fling their arms around Stan's neck.

"Hey, hey! C'mon, kids, what's..." His voice caught on a lump in his throat. He wrapped his arms around Dipper and Mabel and squeezed them tight. After a moment, Ford joined in.

They didn't separate until Soos leaned in to crush their lungs.

####

The Pines didn't talk about Bill during dinner. They talked about who they wanted to catch up with in town and what events they'd participate in this summer, and the kids' last semester of school, and the places Ford and Stan had traveled, and where in Gravity Falls the kids might be able to continue their judo lessons, and what Stan and Ford remembered about taking boxing as kids, and Dipper's indecision over what electives to take next year, and Mabel's enthusiasm over the parkour classes she'd started at a gym near home.

They didn't talk about why over the past year the kids had decided to pick up sports that could help them fight or escape. They didn't bring up all the times Dipper had called Ford after recurring nightmares of being pulled out of his body and left adrift. They didn't comment on Soos and Melody's absence from dinner as they took first watch over the cellar. They didn't ask questions when Stan left the living room table to take a call in the kitchen from his "connections." They didn't speculate on whether Bill might have escaped his puppet's body during the precious seconds between when he passed out and when they completed the barrier belt. They didn't talk about fear.

Down below in the cellar, the unconscious body didn't stir.

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #mabel pines #dipper pines #(also prominently featuring Soos Stan and Ford but the tags are long and they don't have art)#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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nautiscarader · 2 months

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Let's spend midnight up on the roof (Wendip,G/T)

Let's spend midnight up on the roof (Wendip,G/T) (Ao3)

Dipper Pines could not believe his sister could fall asleep so easily. Then again, after a week in Gravity Falls, where nearly each day was spent either chasing some mythical creatures or beings or being chased by them, they both deserved rest.

But the journal… a curiosity that trumped gnomes or gobblewonker prevented Dipper from falling asleep. He carefully turned each page, reading what once would have been pure fantasy for him, but now was an exciting - and potentially deadly - possibility.

KNOCK, KNOCK!

Dipper let out a girly shriek and jumped in place when he heard someone knocking on the glass of the triangular window. He was even more surprised by the identity of the intruder.

"Wendy?!", Dipper asked, staring at the red-head, waving at him to let her in.

"'Sup, dude", she asked nonchalantly, "Wanna go up on the roof?"

It took the flabbergasted Dipper a moment to even form a response, and another one to verbalise it.

"Th-the roof?"

"Yeah, like we did earlier. Come on, I have a ladder here."

And with that, she took a step up the rope ladder she was on, giving Dipper a room. He hesitated for a bit, but once she also gave him a hand, he got onto the sill and then followed her up.

One step at a time, Dipper climbed up until he arrived at the same secluded part of the roof from which they were throwing pinecones earlier that day.

"Okay, but why would you go here so late-"

Dipper's voice broke as soon as he looked up, with the answer to his question thrown in his face.

For when his eyes adapted to the darkness, he was met with not just starry sky, but an explosion of lights, spanning his entire field of view. And smack in the middle of it, streaking across the sky like a river full of diamonds was something he only saw pictures of - the Milky Way.

And before he knew it, he was sitting next to Wendy, as his knees gave up, his mouth still open as he tried to absorb as much of the cosmic beauty as possible, finding it difficult to breathe.

"First time seeing something like that, city boy?"

"Yeah… I mean, we've been to a planetarium once, but this… This is so much better."

Dipper moved his head from one side to the other, making Wendy curious.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh, trying to find some constellations I know. I mean there is Little Dipper.", he pointed to the group of stars looking like his birthmark.

"Yeah", Wendy said, "I never bothered with them. I just like coming up with my own shapes. And names. Like, there is a star named Beetlejuice, right?"

"No, it's Betelgeuse."

"Beetlejuice"

"Be-tel-geuse", Dipper repeated slowly.

"Bee-tle-juice."

"HEY, GUYS!"

Both Dipper and Wendy jumped in place when they heard a third voice.

"Mabel! What are you doing here?"

"Me?", she countered, "What are YOU doing up so la-"

Mabel stopped as the sudden realisation hit her, her eyes shifting from one to the other.

"Oh, I see…", she spoke with mischievous tone, "Not gonna interrupt you two".

And with a sly smile still lingering on her face, she climbed down the ladder.

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"Beats me.", Wendy shrugged,"So, you wanna do some renaming?"

Dipper hesitated for a moment.

"Uh, sure. Are-are there any rules, or…"

Wendy snickered.

"Man, you do like to overthink stuff. I'll go first… This is Blerblonia, the brightest star in the constellation of Stinking Cheese".

"Where?"

"There." Wendy took his hand traced a wedge-like shape between three stars. "Now you name the other two."

"Okay", Dipper took a moment to come up with something creative. "This one's gonna be Pineconis, and this one Alpha Soda."

"Nice. Now find some cool shape."

"Okay… there! If you connect these five you get…a Lawnmower!"

"How?", Wendy asked, unable to follow his logic.

"How should I know? There is a constellation called 'Hunting Dogs', and all it is are literally two stars. TWO! You know what you can draw with these? A stick. Or maybe a bone."

Wendy laughed.

"Okay, I think I see your lawnmower… So I will name these a Stretched Ferret", she pointed to a few stars lining up. "And the brightest one will be called…Tim"

"Okay, I can see i-Wait, you have used one of my stars!", he protested.

"So what? It's like that crossword-making game, now I can snatch your points."

She shot him with a wicked grin.

"Oh, it is on!", Dipper corrected his position, took a sip from a can and pointed his hand up. "Say goodbye to your Cheese constellation, I'm making a whole Charcuterie Board with Beta Brie-onis and Gamma-Gouda! Here, and here, and here…"

And with that, they spent the next hour or so making up silly names, until even their desire for unrestricted silliness had to move aside when tiredness stepped in. And when Dipper Pines hit the bed, it only took him a few seconds to fall asleep, letting even the precious journal be forgotten for now…

xxxx

Dipper Pines let out a deep sigh, staring at the vast Milky Way spanning the night's sky. In the ten years since he first saw it, on the same roof he was now lying on, it hasn't lost anything of its beauty…

"I thought I'd find you here". Dipper flinched when he heard a familiar voice and saw a familiar face in the hatch. "May I join ya?"

"S-Sure", Dipper replied, still feeling the same fluster towards Wendy as when he was twelve. "I mean, it is your secret spot"

"Heh, not so secret. Pretty much everyone has been here. I should be charging money for it…"

An awkward silence fell between the two. The same silence that started earlier that day when the Pines have returned once more to Gravity Falls, and Wendy realised how much one person can change in a span of a year.

"So…", Dipper spoke again, "Do-do you want to rename some stars?"

"Dude", Wendy shot him with a judgemental stare, "Are you for real?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, that is a bit childish, and-"

Wendy burst into laughter.

"Dipper, I'm messing with you", she punched him in the arm, "At least that hasn't changed about you."

She moved closer to her friend, and before he could verbalise any of his worries, Wendy pulled out her phone.

"Actually, I found this cool song that fits what we were doing. Wanna listen?"

Dipper nodded. Wendy took a moment to find it and hit 'play'.

Let's spend midnight up on the roof letting stars stare us in th'face no one is gonna care that we are rediscovering their names.

"Wow, that is pretty spot on", Dipper commented, his eyes meeting Wendy's, her loving gaze being the only response.

When I reach my hand to you How can I disagree with fate? I make my decision: happiness or hate.

Dipper felt her fingers intertwine with his, his heart's beat mixing with the one from the song.

It's not so hard to see, I've got the whole world within my reach especially with you lying next to me.

With Wendy's face just inches away from his, he closed his eyes, still seeing the myriad of stars, including the two brightest ones of emerald shade…

Let's spend midnight up on the roof watching stars with naked eyes, and let everyone see naked us under naked sky.

At the same time, the two young adults jumped back, their eyes open wide and faces covered in various shades of red.

"Woah, woah, this is a lil' heavy."

"Y-yeah, I agree.", Wendy quickly turned the music off, "We're not there yet."

Another long silent pause fell between the two as they both tried to comprehend what Wendy has just blurted out.

"…yet?"

Wendy sighed and without much deliberation jumped the chestnut-haired boy, cutting him off from the starry sky he was staring at.

He wasn't complaining, though.

Okay, so this a first songfic I have ever written.... kinda. There is a Polish song called "The roof", and I heard it on the radio, lying in hospital, I thought "oh, this IS a Wendip song!". So I spent some time not just translating, but also trying to match the rhythm and rhymes - not the whole song, just the chorus and a verse, and I allowed myself to move a line ore two.But I think I haven't failed that much.Lemme know if you want full literal translation to see how I've done my job.

Happy Valentine's day!

#nautiscaraderfics #wendip #wendy corduroy #dipper pines #gravity falls

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aceofstars16 · 29 days

Text

Next chapter here we gooo!

This one took longer to write than I would've liked but I was working on other things too and it is almost 4,000 words so...xD

I'm not sure how long it will take to write the next one and if there will be one or two more chapters after this one, but we shall see!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Summary: While looking for their lost family members, the Pines find out more about this dimension - and the creatures that inhabit it.

Mabel couldn’t stop looking at Dipper. Sure, she managed to tear her eyes away from time to time to look for little Stan, but she always came back to Dipper. It was weird seeing him so old. But it was still him. She knew someone might say that it wasn’t really the Dipper she knew, but he was so close to being him. And after not seeing her Dipper for months, well, it was exactly what she needed.

An elderly alien rushed past her, giving Mabel and Dipper a wary look before disappearing into a building. A lot of aliens had seemed to be running into their homes, and while it was a little strange, Mabel was grateful for it as the streets were becoming much clearer. Hopefully it would make it easier to find Stan and maybe Ford too, if they were lucky.

Dipper’s hand tightened on hers and he sped up a little. Apparently, the alien’s behavior was concerning him too.

“So…” Mabel ventured, breaking into a trot to keep up with the older version of her brother. She had tried to taper down her desire to ask questions, but she couldn’t handle keeping quiet any longer.

Looking down at her for a second, Dipper raised his eyebrows. “So?”

“How did you end up here? I mean…Ford told me how he did but…” Mabel’s legs tripped over each other as a thought crossed her mind, and Dipper quickly slowed down to let her catch her footing.

“You okay?” He asked, looking at her then around the square, his body tense.

“Yeah…I…I just remembered what Ford said happened to him…did…did I push you into a portal?” Mabel didn’t really want to ask, the thought was too horrible to consider, but she had to know. Was there a possibility for her and Dipper to ever grow apart like Stan and Ford?

Dipper sighed, still looking around, not meeting her gaze. “I don’t like the look of these streets…” he muttered. “We should probably-” he glanced at Mabel and paused. It was as if he could feel the anxiety that was clawing its way into her chest. Or maybe he could just see it on her face.

Squeezing her hand tight, he gave her a strained smile. “No. You didn’t push me into the portal. It’s…a long story, but I think we should find some shelter firs-”

A loud shrieking interrupted him.

Mabel turned to look in the direction of the sound and froze as she saw the source.

“Run!” Dipper yelled and pulled on her arm, but she couldn’t move. The creature had its eyes locked on her and her body refused to respond. The world around her seemed to fade away, in the back of her mind, she knew she should run, but she could only focus on the beast. Something about the dragon-like creature seemed innocent and pleading. It needed help. If she could just touch it…

Then something grabbed her and lifted her up. She fought the arms, needing to get away, to get to the creature. It needed help. She clawed and bit and struggled until she finally broke away from the arms around her. Then she bolted towards the helpless animal.

“Mabel NO!” A distant voice sounded, but Mabel didn’t know who it was. All she knew was that she needed to do this. It was the right thing to do.

Running as fast as she could, Mabel raced towards the dragon, she was almost there... Then something yanked her arm back. She screamed and fought against it, reaching her arms towards the creature.

Its sharp teeth grinned, it knew she wanted to help. It jumped forward, attacking the arms that were holding her back. She heard a yell but it barely registered, all she knew was that she was free. Rushing forwards, she held her arms out towards the creature. Then she heard a strange pinging sound followed by the beast’s roar.

The world shifted. The bright colors faded and the desperate need to get to the dragon vanished in an instant.

Instead of the poor, hurt animal she had been seeing, she was now looking at a horrifying creature. It towered above her, its spiky scales dripped with something black and sticky, and in its teeth…a shudder ran through her.

Stumbling backward, Mabel quickly glanced back to see Dipper holding a gun, aiming at the beast. His sleeve was torn and blood was dripping from it, but he didn’t seem to notice. His glaze flickered to her and relief crossed his face.

“Get out of here! I’ll try to keep it distracted.”

Mabel didn’t need any more urging, she bolted forward, but she only took two steps before something tripped her leg. She fell face first into the ground, her head ringing with the impact.

“Mabel!”

Dipper’s voice echoed around her and she tried to get to her feet. Then pain exploded in her leg and she was pulled further away from her brother. There was pinging, but the creature was determined to keep Mabel in its grasp. Panic surged through her chest, but as she tried to pull away, the pain in her leg increased. She was trapped.

------

So much for ten minutes. The thought crossed Stan’s mind as he walked next to Ford. It was still kind of weird seeing his brother so old, and sometimes he found himself thinking it was Dipper for a second. But then he’d see the six fingers or Ford’s face and he was quickly reminded who he was actually with.

Stan had tried to ask questions, he had so many swirling through his mind, but Ford had ignored him or told him short answers that didn’t really provide any clarity. So, he’d stopped trying. However, that wasn’t the only reason he’d kept silent for the past few minutes. If he was honest with himself, he was scared. Every time Ford looked at him or talked to him, Stan couldn’t shake the feeling that old Ford didn’t like him. Which was ridiculous! How could Ford not like him? They were brothers! Sure, they sometimes argued and they had their differences, but they always had each other’s backs. But Stan couldn’t push aside the feeling that Ford wasn’t exactly thrilled to have Stan around, and that created a well of fear inside him. Did Ford grow up to hate him? Or think he was just annoying? Was there any way that they would grow apart and not want to be around each other anymore?

Stan bumped into a leg and realized that Ford had stopped walking. Looking around, he tried to see if there was a reason for this. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary aside from the emptying streets. He’d noticed that a while ago and despite it being strange, it also made it easier to move and harder to get lost so he counted it as a win.

“Do you see the person you’re looking for?” Stan asked. He didn’t see any other humans, but maybe Ford’s friend wasn’t human – he hadn’t gotten his brother to fill him in on who he’d lost.

Ford quickly looked down at Stan, a shadow crossing his face before shaking his head. “No…but I don’t like the look of the locals…something isn’t right.”

As if on cue, an aforementioned alien rushed past them and into a building, slamming the door. The sound of it locking from the inside could be heard even from the middle of the street.

Okay, yeah, that was ominous…but… “Hey, it makes it easier to find people…like the person you are looking for...if they are a person…”

Letting out a huff, Ford glanced at Stan again, indecision on his face. Then he shook his head. “I suppose it doesn’t really matter if you know or not.” He said quietly. “I’m looking for Mabel.”

Stan opened his mouth, ready to ask a billion questions, but Ford held up his hand.

“Not the Mabel you know. She’s younger, about your age. My guess is in your universe, her and Dipper take the place of me and you, and vice versa.”

“Obviously.” Stan said sarcastically, teasing his brother coming too naturally to stop. But then the words really sunk in. “Wait…little Mabel??? What is she like as a kid?!? Gosh, I bet she’s the coolest! I mean, she’s cool as an old person, but like, kid Mabel?!? She has to be the most fun ever!”

A quiet laugh escaped Ford, and Stan was surprised to see a soft smile on his face. “That she is…” Then his face clouded and he shook his head. “We need to keep moving. It might be best to find an inn or-”

A horrible screeching sound echoed through the deserted streets, cutting Ford off.

Ford’s hand tightened around Stan’s and he started pulling him to one of the buildings. Stan offered no resistance. Sure, there were some pretty cool creatures around, but unfortunately he’d learned that some of them only cared about one thing – food.

Ford pulled at one, door, then another, but they were locked. Apparently, the locals had a reason for deserting the streets.

Then something else echoed through the streets, not the creature’s screeching. No, it was yelling. Human yelling. And one word was plain as day.

Mabel.

Ford froze, his body stiffening. Then, without a word, he bolted toward the sound. His grip on Stan’s hand had lessened, resulting in Stan’s hand slipping out of his. In all honestly, Stan knew most people wouldn’t have followed. But he wasn’t most people. It might be some young Mabel that he didn’t know, and maybe it was a crazy creature that he had no way of fighting. But there was no way he was letting Ford go by himself. His family was in danger and he wasn’t just gonna sit aside and do nothing. So, he bolted after his old brother, letting adrenaline rush through him as they raced towards the sound of a fight.

------

Dipper was back at the portal, watching Mabel slowly being pulled towards it, knowing he would do anything to stop her from facing that fate. But now he was looking at a younger version of his sister – who wasn’t his Mabel but who he still would do anything to protect – as the dragonesque creature pulled her by the leg.

Glancing around desperately, Dipper pulled out another one of his guns. He had found, lost, and made many on his journeys, but he hadn’t been expecting a fight, so most of them were in their dormant travel modes. His hand found one ready to use and he quickly aimed and fired.

The bullet flew at the dragon, but it didn’t even blink as it hit the gooey hide. Instead, it glanced at Dipper and he swore he could see amusement in its eyes, as if he was just a source of amusement for it.

Panic welled up in Dipper’s chest. He had to figure out something. All he was doing was prolonging the pain Mabel was in. He knew from experience how awful it was to have something bite a limb and not let go.

“Let her go you foul beast!”

Dipper didn’t have time to see the source of the voice before a freezing cold ray hit the creature on the side of its head, creating a shockwave of cold. It roared in pain, releasing Mabel from its grip.

Without a second thought, Dipper rushed forward and grabbed Mabel. As he scooped her up, he did his best to ignore the pain in his arm – Mabel was more important right now – and stumbled away from the creature. Only then could he get a look at who had fired the ice blast.

Dressed in all black, the first striking thing was that he was human. Dipper hadn’t stumbled upon many humans aside from alternate earth dimensions, so seeing one was rare. The second was that he was older, and next to him…

“Stan!”

Stan looked at him and waved, then was yanked out of the way by the black clad man as the creature lunged forward.

“Grunkle Ford!” Mabel cried out from Dipper’s arms, confirming what Dipper had already guessed, the man was her Ford. What were the odds of Stan finding the older version of his brother and Dipper finding the younger version of his sister? Maybe it was just destiny, or luck, Dipper didn’t really have time to decide as the dragon roared again, glaring angrily at Ford.

“Get Mabel and Stanley out of here!” Ford yelled as he shot another ice blast at the creature.

“What? I can help!” Stan shouted.

“We can’t leave him!” Mabel cried, gripping Dipper a little tighter.

“Get them out of there!” Ford yelled as he rolled out of the way of the beast’s tail.

Everything inside of Dipper screamed to help Ford. Maybe he didn’t know him, but Mabel and Stan did, and they cared about him. But at the same time, Mabel was hurt and he knew that it was only a matter of time before someone else got hurt. Forcing down the guilt in his gut, he rushed towards Stan, grabbing his hand with his injured arm and pulling him along, gritting his teeth at the resulting pain.

“Hey! Grunkle Dipper, stop! I can help!” Stan struggled against him but Dipper held firm as he continued to run.

“We have to get Mabel somewhere safe first.” Dipper said, pulling Stan along and hoping that his strength would hold out enough to get the kids to safety.

“I’m okay…r-really.” Mabel spoke, and Dipper saw her looking worriedly behind them at Ford’s slowly shrinking form. But despite her words, her skin looked pale and she was shaking in his arms.

As he ran, Dipper kept an eye out for a suitable hiding place. Every door seemed to be closed tight, and he guessed that most aliens locked their doors at night for obvious reasons. Then he caught sight of a door that was slightly ajar. Rushing forward, he pushed it open and stumbled in. But as the door banged against the wall, Dipper realized that his hand was empty. Stan’s arm was no longer in its grasp, and the boy was nowhere to be seen.

------

I can’t keep this up. The thought crossed Ford’s mind as he rolled away from the creature’s mouth once again. He had tried shooting it in the face again, but it had learned from last time and was getting better at anticipating his attacks. He was still able to hit it occasionally, but his hits weren’t slowing it down as much as before, and his movements were getting sloppier as his exhaustion grew. But he had to keep it distracted, had to make sure that it wouldn’t go after Mabel again. He could still see the fear on her face when he had first arrived on the scene. That alone gave him the energy to keep up his attacks, even while his body screamed at him to stop.

Jumping back as the beast once again tried to trip him with its tail, Ford raised the gun and fired. It was hardly a perfect shot, and it only grazed its sticky scales. The creature’s eyes glinted and it lunged towards him once again. Only years of trained reflexes saved him as he barely managed to spin to the side and avoid the dragon’s sharp teeth.

Ford’s lungs burned at he ran towards a canopy one of the shop keepers had set up and slid under it. He knew he couldn’t hide for long, the creature would find him quickly, and he couldn’t risk it following Dipper and the kids, but he needed a few seconds to catch his breath.

Pressing his back against the wall, Ford forced himself to take deep breaths, no matter how much his lungs burned and screamed at him to breath as quickly as possible. However, that didn’t stop the beast from finding him. Through a hole in the awning, Ford could see it locking eyes with him before letting out a roar.

Hefting his gun, Ford prepared himself to run.

“Hey, stupid dragon, over here!”

An achingly familiar voice echoed through the streets and Ford quickly searched for the source. Sure enough, Stan was standing in the middle of the square, fists raised as if he could actually fight the thing with his hands.

“Stanley! GET OUT OF HERE!” Ford yelled. He couldn’t believe the kid…okay, well, it did seem like something that Stan would do, but he was supposed to be safe with Mabel, not facing off against a dragon.

The creature, who had been focused on Stan, looked back at Ford, as if trying to decide who to go after. It only took a second before it charged at Ford once again, seeming to think that he posed more of a threat. Which was an accurate assessment.

Bolting forward, Ford ran away from Stan, hoping the younger version of his brother would take a hint and get out of there. But as he turned to aim his gun, he saw Stan running towards the beast, yelling at the top of his lungs as he threw a rock at it.

The rock knocked harmlessly against the dragon’s head. For a split second, it turned to look at Stan and, in that instant, Ford saw his chance. With the creature distracted, its face was an easy target. In one fluid movement, Ford leveled his gun, took aim, and fired right at its eye.

The roar that erupted from the beast echoed throughout the streets, making Ford’s ears ring as he bolted forward, taking advantage of the dragon’s distressed state to fire off a few more shots, effectively freezing most of its face.

“That’s right you gross, stupid-” Ford reached Stan and slapped his hand over his mouth before he could say anymore.

“It can still hear!” He snapped, keeping his voice low.

Stan pouted but didn’t say any more. Satisfied that he would keep quiet, Ford removed his hand from his mouth and instead grabbed Stan’s arm, pulling him along as he raced into an alleyway. He knew the creature wouldn’t be blinded by ice forever, they had to move quickly if they wanted to get away without it following them.

“That was awesome!”

Ford winced at Stan’s voice and shot him a look, but at least he had waited until they’d made it to a different street to speak, and he kept his voice quieter.

“No, it was dangerous,” Ford snapped in a low voice. “I told you to go with Dipper.”

Stan let out a huff even as they continued to run. “Oh, come on, Sixer. You’re just mad I saved you!”

An icy chill ran through Ford at the nickname. He hadn’t heard it in a long time, and last time he had…Shaking his head, he focused on the situation at hand. “No, I’m mad that you didn’t listen. You could’ve been killed.”

“So could’ve you!”

“You could have too.”

“What?”

“Gramm-”

“There!” Stan shouted out, louder than Ford would’ve liked, cutting off his correction to Stanley’s poor grammar.

Stan pulled on Ford’s hand, pointed towards a building, and despite his frustration with his little brother, Ford gritted his teeth and followed.

As they reached a side door, Stan rushed forward.

“Stanley, wait!” Ford hissed, but Stan had already rushed forward and flung the door open.

“Stop right there!” A voice cried out.

Ford immediately pulled up his gun, ready to fire, only to find himself looking at another gun aiming at him.

“Don’t shoot!”

Ford’s hand dropped a fraction at the familiar voice. Relief washed over him as he saw Mabel sitting behind the man with the gun, who he now realized was the older version of Dipper.

“Stan…” Dipper let out a breath of relief as he noticed Stan standing next to Ford.

A roar echoed through the streets.

“Inside, now.” Ford quickly ushered Stan into the building and followed behind him before grabbing a barrel of provisions and pushing them in front of the door. It wouldn’t stop the dragon, but it would at least make sure nothing else could get in.

Once the door was secure, Ford turned to take stock of the situation. There was a small lantern of sorts lighting up the room. It must have been a supply room, as there were barrels of different foods lining the walls, but thankfully no one else seemed to be occupying the space.

Letting out a breath, Ford immediately looked at Mabel. She looked tired, and paler than usual, but thankfully her leg seemed to already have been tended to.

Walking forward, he crouched down, opening his mouth to speak, but two small arms were flung around his neck before anything could come out.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Mabel said quietly, her arms tightening around him.

A lump formed in Ford’s throat and he carefully wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, taking comfort from the fact that she was here and she was okay.

“I helped!”

Stan’s voice sounded from behind him and Ford felt his annoyance at his brother’s recklessness return. But then Mabel leaned back from her hug and a grin grew on her face as she saw Stan, who was standing next to Dipper.

“Well now I know you’re Stan!”

A grin grew on Stan’s face. “And you’re Mabel, the coolest Grantie ever!”

“Uh…” Mabel paused at that, seemingly unsure how to respond. “Thanks?”

“So, do I like fight a bunch of stuff when I’m old too?” Stan didn’t seem worried about Mabel’s uncertainty, and despite the frustration that still tried to cling to Ford, he was grateful that Mabel seemed to be acting like herself.

“Oh, yes! You punched a dinosaur in the face to get Waddles back for me, and you fought off a bunch of zombies to protect me and Dipper, it was so-” A shadow passed over Mabel’s face as she seemed to remember that the Stan and Dipper in the room with them weren’t the ones who had experienced those events with her.

A mix of sadness and anger pricked at Ford’s heart and he quickly cleared his throat. “We will have time for stories later. Mabel, you should rest.”

Mabel glanced at her leg, then at Stan and Dipper. “Only if Dipper rests too.”

Ford glance at the older version of his great nephew and noticed the bandage around his arm for the first time, along with the uncertainty on his face.

“I can keep watch.” Ford said, knowing that if Dipper was anything like him, he wouldn’t be able to rest unless he knew it was safe.

Dipper opened his mouth, then looked at Mabel and sighed. “Okay, I’ll rest some. But only if you or Stan wakes me up to take over after a few hours.” He looked at Ford for a moment, as if studying him. “You look like you could use some sleep too.”

“I assure you I’m-” Ford started, but Mabel poked him and he saw her looking worriedly at him. Leave it to her to worry about him when she was the one with the hurt leg.

“You did run a lot.” Stan said pointedly, though Ford was surprised to see worry on his face as well.

Glancing at Dipper, and seeing a similar concern on his face, he realized he was outvoted three to one.

“Alright, deal.”

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #gravity falls au #drifting stars au #relativity falls #relativity stars au #ford pines #stan pines #mabel pines #dipper pines #stanford pines #stanley pines #aceo writes things #relativity stars

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