#she knew but she did it anyway

[duahauuoplanh]

I already knew it from the start

#it's getting very dificult for me to watch this drama #cause it hurt #but I still want to gif their pains out loud #there's still so much I want to talk about this relationship #she was very strong from the start but how can we win over love? how can we lie from out heart? #it wants what it wants #she knew but she did it anyway #because of love #oh love.. #them both all have their reasons #but love doesn't care #as a woman I really understand her pain that we don't share our man #but she falls for the king #the king tho #lee junho #junho #the red sleeve #it's junho's season now #series of things that went straight to my heart and never leave #I put my heart into every gifset I’ve made

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[hugs-and-stabbies]

The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT

#dead plate #rody lamoree #rody x vincent #vincent charbonneau #rodince #rodincent #my art #i saw someone tag one of my drawings with a version of their ship name using their last names and it was nice but i forgot what it was #aksjdhf #also NOO i forgot Rody's lil moles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #thankfully at least tumblr allows edits #anyways #rody looks so wonky to me but I just wanted to stop fidgeting with it and post it since i wasnt getting anywhere anyways aksjdfh #also little story time lol #when i was in 10th grade there was this girl in my chemisty class that i was kinda frienemies with #we just always got into arguments with each other but the vibe ultimately stayed light and friendly between us #kinda like a <<fuck you but anyways what did you get for no. 5>> kind of situation #one day she slammed one of her hands against the door right next to my head 😳😳 #i think she was trying to intimidate me but instead it just gave me a core memory LMAOOO #thankfully by then i already knew i wasnt straight lol but it definitely unlocked something in me hahahah

[marivanilla05]

Officially part of the cast for movie 27!

#magic kaito #aoko nakamori #kaito kuroba #saguru hakuba #akako koizumi #dcmk #i guess i should tag that since this is about m27 #I'm so excited to see aoko! #idc if she only has one scene #(but still praying that she meets the main cast...) #anyway I knew akako never physically appeared in detco and magic doesnt exist in that universe but #i did not expect her to just not exist in detco according to Gosho???? #does this imply that the kaito in mk is an alternate version to the kaito in detco? #but then again shinichi did apear in mk... #(I'm only talking about the manga I have no idea if akako has appeared in the anime or not...) #(i think if she has it must have been based on an mk chapter)

[bobosbillionsknives]

Autism mom doesn't know she's also autistic .

I can't imagine Knives being the easiest kid to raise 😭. Thers no WAY anyone on that ship was qualified enough to properly care for two autistic alien children !!!

#hairbrush thing is based off my own childhood btw. #id SCREEAAAAM at my mothers face because I hated my hair being brushed so bad #sorry mama love youuu #I imagine knives being just. So overstimulated always #that poor kid. no one knew how to help him #and Vash is ignored bc he never complains about anything #I have so many headcanons its insane... whatever...🚬 #anyway I love Rem with all of my heart and she did the best she could but she was way too young #Knives had to be getting on her nerrrrves #trigun #millions knives #my art #trigun fanart #vash the stampede #millions knives fanart #rem saverem #my headcanons are a mix of both 98 and trimax btw :D

[gelphiegifs]

"You'll be with me..."

#gelphie #glinda upland #galinda upland #elphaba thropp #wicked #wicked musical #ginna claire mason #olivia valli #s: for good #every choice here is IMPECCABLE #they knew what they were doing and they did it for us #anyway happy trails to olivia her elphie rocked my world #fun fact she's the elphaba i've seen the most so no i am not doing well however. one day she will be on broadway. manifest

[princeparadiso]

no childhood should be like this

#qsmp baghera #qsmp #baghera jones #qsmp fanart #baghera fanart #guess what? more qbaghera content #im starved #anyways do you ever think about how this little child harmed and abused by the very entity that created her had to live in constant edge #for all of her little life and childhood only dreaming of escapes and nicer guardians #because i do #how little was she when she was already thinking about how and when to leave this hellhole that was the only thing she ever knew #how young was she when she stole that doctor's lighter and started planning boat rides and collecting oranges #how many other experiments did she meet that disappear or died the next day? #food for thoughts

[high-voltage-rat]

something I do appreciate about red vs blue is its particular brand of “came back wrong”. you were brought back, but you’re just a memory of the person you’re supposed to be. you’re just the expectations of them. you’re just the pieces everyone else saw and remembered. you’re tough like the original, but you’ll always fail no matter how tough you are, because the original failed, too. you’ve got a personality like the original, but it’s not quite right because you didn’t actually live the life they did. there’s this person you love- who you would kill or suffer or die for- but you don’t know why, you just know you’re supposed to be together because that’s what you were made for.

#thinkin abt tex and epsilon at 4am on a thursday #anyway thinkin about the fact that tex and church were never *actually* together outside of blood gulch #she tried to save alpha. she failed. he didn't know who she was and she was forced to leave him. #but realistically? he'd never met her before. because she wasn't allison and he wasn't leonard #they were both just copies that knew who they were supposed to be #and epsilon never met tex. he only had the copy based on alpha's muddled memories. #and then when he brought her back... she was just even more wrong because she was a memory of a memory #and even with all of alpha's memories #epsilon wasn't alpha. he was someone different because he'd been through different things #alpha didn't remember what was done to him. epsilon did. alpha didn't know what he'd lost. epsilon did. #alpha lived his life. had relationships with the reds and blues. epsilon just remembered it. #and with that in mind you have to wonder... #what did tex actually remember? who did she think she was? what did she think the director and alpha were to her? #because epsilon had alpha's memories but beta didn't even have that. #anyway yeah roommate agreed to experience rvb with me and we watched seasons 1-10 together and hooboy #I'm back on my bullshit #red vs blue #rvb #Agent Texas #tex rvb #Leonard Church #church rvb #epsilon rvb #alpha rvb #beta rvb

[haunted-xander]

Very excited to see how they'll do this scene in Rebirth

#this is by far my favorite of the gold saucer date scenes not only bc im biased towards aerith #but it feels the most narratively appropriately one #aerith brings up clouds (imitated) similarities to zack in a way only she can as someone who actually knew him #and she kinda starts poking after who cloud really is #most of the party hasnt know him long enough to notice how unnatural his mannerisms are #and most havent met zack and those who have did so only briefly #tifa knows but is too scared to say anything #she almost does in her own date scene (tho u wouldnt realize she was until The Reveal) but cant bring herself too #in the same way she ends up perpetuating clouds lies bc shes too scared to point out the discrepancies #hes vulnerable- she doesnt want to compromise that already fragile stability he has #aerith doesny poke too deep- she knows she cant. but its a start #anyway. excited to see clouds progressive mental breakdown in excruciating detail #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #questionably claerith but this wasnt dranw with shipping intent #it could be tho. if u want it to #final fantasy #final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #ff7 #ffvii #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #oh wait #final fantasy 7 spoilers #in consideration for ppl going into rebirth blind

[1v31182m5]

Lyrics by Tommy Dorsey's Street of Dreams 01:25

#I don't have the energy to explain this scene since I don't really think it's that necessary anyway #but shortly Shen's identity got exposed in this village about the things he did to the pandas and chameleon needs to act like she's on+ #their side to prevent her from getting hurt and attacked like how Shen is about to be #but the thing is she already knew about shen being shen but he didn't knew that she knew this so when he decides to flee off he never+ #sees her again because he thinks “oh she knows what kind of a person I am now and I saw how she looked at me during that we're clearly done” #little does he know melon did much worse and didn't got caught so it's fine #(she thought he was gonna return. he didn't.) #kfp #kfp fanart #lord shen #kfp chameleon #kfp 4 #kung fu panda #kung fu panda fanart #chameleon x lord shen #lord shen x chameleon

[esmes]

#sweeney todd revival #sweenett #annaleigh ashford #josh groban #musicals #if you need me i'll be setting myself on fire :) #the first + third gifs in particular have me unspeakably weak like honest to fuck did she HAVE to #but also super glad she did #u kno... annaleigh's lovett is so delightful it's easy to forget how diabolical her shit is #but the way she's looking at him in that third gif....... L O R D #i'm obsessed #anyway! #my gifs #** #2023 revival #otp: if you only knew

[feketeribizli]

EMILIE'S DESIGN RELEASED!!! 🎉🎉🎉 SHE'S SO PRETTY

IM SO HAPPY SHES REAL wish they didnt do her so dirty tho...i have a couple of choice words about that design but at least shes green 🙏

#shes real but at what cost 😭😭😭 #knew they wouldnt use any of the concept arts....... #anyway. did my work #genshin #emilie genshin #my art #ask

[har-har-harvey]

also, since tumblr won’t let you post more than one video unless they’re links or embeds, here’s a link to another clip i posted that adds a bit more context to the scene :)

#fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #dimension 20 #dimension twenty #dimension 20 fantasy high #ally beardsley #brennan lee mulligan #kristen applebees #lydia barkrock #listen she’s THEE cleric #okay #like to me this proves that she isn’t “special” just because helio chose her #even if she had no spells and wasn’t a cleric she would be special #BECAUSE SHE CAREEESSS #despite everything #and despite knowing it won’t end the suffering and fighting lydia will have to to for the rest of her life #she helps her anyways #because even if she can only help someone for six seconds then they deserve those six seconds of help if she can give them #AND ITS EVEN MORE PROVEN BY THE FACT THAT THEY ALL KNEW SHE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO BRING YOLANDA BADGOOD AND LUCY FROSTBLADE BACK #AND YET SHE STILL PRAYED #AND DID ANYTHING SHE COULD TO TRY AND GET THEM HELP #EVEN WHEN SHE KNEW SHE DIDNT HAVE SPELLS AND THEREFORE MIGHT NOT HAVE A CONNECTION TO HER GODDESS!!!! #she just means so much to me #and ally—the fucking rockstar they are—plays her with such knowledge and compassion and care #fantasy high junior year s3:ep6 “Party Politics” #fantasy high s3:ep6 “Party Politics” #s3:ep6 “Party Politics” #queue are... my fire. the one... desire.

[agardenofideas]

i hope sunny gets a villain arc if tubbo wont get one fully

like i need her to lash out at every single adult around her for not carring for her pa or her (looking at phil who offered to care for pomme and dapper when he wouldnt for sunny on tubbos Confirmed death), for no one taking her pa seriously, for taking things from them, from her pa until there was nothing left of him.

i need her to lash out at the adults for never seeing her pa hurting and thinking it wasnt serious, i need her to lash out in peoples faces how she had said they were worried for her pa and the adults just said hes like that or he'll get better and he didn't

i want her to lash out and reveal that tubbo said to her he felt more seen and cared about by a fed worker who was learning to have emotions than from any islander around

i want her to burn things, even if not a house and just a wood she placed down to set fire, i want her to do that, i want her to blow things up and lash out and be heard

cuz if being a good girl for her pa ends with them unheard and him dead then she will be heard now and once this thing called Creation gets her pa back to her, she is not letting him go

if any of the adults who didnt do anything to get him back cared for him in life and cared just a bit in death, they dont deserve to see her pa back again, he is sunny's and sunny's alone

i want sunny to spew vitrol and fire and to lash out at everyone, she deserves to go on a murderous rampage too as a treat

#qsmp sunny #tubbo #mostly as a mention #qsmp #look- she went through a lot #being from purgatory #isolated from most eggs and the ones she did meet most rejected her (ik tallulah said give more time- but as an ND myself- rejection) #it feels like rejection- anyways- #she tried so hard to make friends or get along and any time she did it just- failed so bad #sure chayanne and ramon like her lots and such and she has em and pepi- but- #out of all the eggs she could meet who were new to her- only 2 she knew liked her- out of 6 eggs only 2 #(that she knew and it took a while to know too- as well as later meet more eggs that would like her too-) #and then her dad is on a depression spiral #and then he is taken from her against his will and on their final day before hes gone they get attacked #and then hes gone for *days* #he comes back and hes worse #no one takes this hurting seriously even when she reached out for fit but he just brushed it off or made light- #and then forever kidnapps the eggs to work and then dapper is taken and no one knows where #her dad gets a bit better btu then hes back to being bad #people keep messing with him too #and it just hurts in ways ya know #and then they are taken to prison #oh yea- and she had her mom as a corpse in her front yard basically #anyways- prison she finally meets her other dad after months of being on quesadilla #everyone presses button and then are in a library and the eggs are just on the prone bodies of their parents #(tubbo died in same position that he sleeps in) #(sunny deffinetly curled up in his dead arms as she did when he sleeps. hes just sleeping. please shes just sleeping and this is a dream) #i want her to finally go ape shit #she would still be kind but she would have no mercy or simpathy to give anymore #no one will trample on them anymore

[artemiscanvas]

I'd say Laika's Comet has Style.

The newest page of their comic hit me like a truck with inspiration.

(Fanart for @catmask of their characters, the titular Laika, and Mars.)

#laika's comet #laika #mars #furry #my pencil's too big #fanart #I hope I did Laika justice #I'm still super unpracticed with fat characters #but I'm super happy with how she turned out #Mars too #anyway go read it! #it's super good #agh god damn and hell I knew I'd forget something #I forgot Laika's blush #can I edit the whole ass picture still...?

[statementlou]

hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much #but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling #many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like #oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng #but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use #given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections #(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest #of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow) #anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy #which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews #for no obvious reason #and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy #but as if it was recent not like 7 months along #and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later #blah blah blah #I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it #I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad #but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that #and the creeps holding it over his head #dan wootton