#she gave her mind and body to someone who constantly hurt it because of you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bleuu-moon · 3 months

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no masters or kings

prologue.

note: here she issss!!! finally after putting it off so many times because i’m a shit bag lol. me 🤝 combining my unhinged obsession with price, ghost and zombie media and making it into my dream fic <3

pairing: john price + simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader

tags: zombie apocalypse au, slow burn-ish, smut, poly relationship (price + ghost share you gahhhh). she/her pronouns used, but no physical description of reader. word count: 1.5k warnings: 18+ mdni. mentions of blood, gore, death and violence.

Everything hurts, aches and burns.

You’ve been on the move for days, constantly moving forward on a desperate search for salvation, refusing your body of any sort of rest it’s crying out for. Your exhaustion makes the rough, solid, wooden floor seem like a California King. Your rucksack like a memory foam pillow. Just grateful for the relief you feel for not being on your feet anymore.

The rain batters against the old cottage’s roof and windows. Luckily, this time, you managed to seek shelter before the incoming shower got too heavy, only leaving your clothes slightly damp in its wake.

Darkness fills the room you’ve comforted yourself in, too dark to see what occupies inside, only able to make out the silhouettes of randomly placed heavy furniture.

You know it was stupid to just assume it was safe, it was something your father had scolded you for in the past. However, with the knowledge that the area was sparse for dead ones, and with the door being firmly bolted with a dated, rusted lock, accompanied by nothing but the smell of damp and dust in the air, you figured that the possibility of running into other survivors inside, was slim.

So, after a hard knock on the frame of the door, and no movement as a result, you claimed it your sanctuary for the night.

You shiver into your utility coat, pulling your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to create any sliver of warmth. However, with the dampened fabric that sits on your skin, it only makes the chill in the air even more prominent.

A fire, even a shitty half melted candle would have been accommodating, but with your lack of resources, the function of your own body is the best option you have.

The more your body shivers, the grip on your knife tightens, as you lie slightly next to the door, just behind where it swings open. Barely something you could call a strategy, but something that gave you somewhat more of chance at a defence.

An advantage of some sorts, just in case someone decides to slaughter you before you have chance to wake up.

After what seems like hours of your mind being unable to forget the bitter cold that nips at your body, and the ache of hunger that rattles in your stomach, you drift towards sleep. Thinking back to the days when you would spend your evenings in front of your parents’ log fire and the hot chocolates that warmed your hands, sounds of laughter and music filling your ears.

You think about that time at the camp, the intense heat that tingled on your face as fires raged through the tents, vehicles, people. Screaming and wailing erupting into the air as you raced towards the woods—

It grips at your throat, forcing you to be unable to breath. It feels like you’re choking on your own air. Chest becoming tighter and tighter with each gasp, anxiety consuming you even in your unconsciousness.

Images flash around your mind, those of bodies, some burned, some deceased, some both but still walking. Snapping teeth and hands make their way towards you, belonging to those who you once considered friends, family.

Your father. A face so familiar yet so unrecognisable, it’s him, but not really. Eyes glazed over with milky white, blood pooling from his mouth and nose, snarling as his frame lunges for you. You want to run, need to run, but you’re frozen with fear. Just as your feet are about to step back, his large body falls on you pinning you to the ground. You fight, and fight and fight, pushing against anywhere you can, but it’s no use.

And only thing you have the strength to do is scream—

Click.

Your body jerks awake with a gasp, eyes snapping open.

It’s a sound you’ve heard before, one that you never forget.

“She’s awake.”

The air is knocked from your lungs as a man’s voice hits your ears before you can fully grasp your surroundings, groggy from the sleep you’ve been ripped from. You don’t see him, only the barrel of the gun that’s being held in the direction of your head.

“Don’t speak.” He spits, before you could even master up the courage to talk. His accent is heavy, Scottish. You watch as he nudges the gun slightly to the side. “Sit up.”

His orders are snappy, full of seriousness that makes a lump form in your throat. For a moment, you feel so numb you can’t move, but when he growls at you to move, it kicks your arse into gear. Obeying his orders, you gulp as you quickly rise from your place on the ground, leaning your back against the wall, pulling your knees to your chest.

Moving helps you get a better look at the man behind the gun. He seems a similar age to you, even though he’s wearing thick garments covered with a heavy packed tac-vest, his muscular build is obvious.

His blue eyes are piercing into yours, before they flicker down to the knife that still resides in your hand, nodding his head, signalling you to discard it. You hesitate, feeling uneasy about giving up the only thing you have to defend yourself, but his eyes narrow, brows pulling downwards in frustration.

Usually, you’d try to put up more of a fight, but something irks at you. The gun he easily holds in hands isn’t like one you’ve seen in person before, its bulky, long, like something from an action movie. The vest that wraps around his body is heavily layered and stocked with what you can only assume is ammunition.

He wasn’t just someone who managed to get their hands on big gun, he was someone who knew exactly what to do with it.

And with the understanding of that, you slide your knife towards his boots.

“Look, I—"

“Check her bag.” He cuts you off, seemingly speaking to someone else. Someone you were unaware of.

Another man appears from the side of you, surprising you as he stomps his way over and grabbing your rucksack off the floor.

Like the other, he’s similar in age, and dressed in the same intimidating attire, except he's slightly taller and sporting a very worn cap on his head.

“How'd you get in here?” He asks firmly, unzipping your bag. He sounds southern English.

“I—um, picked the lock.”

He only hums at your response, raising his brows momentarily before beginning to dig through the contents of your sack. There’s harsh silence as he does, an overwhelming feeling of being a deer in some headlights as your eyes flicker between the two men.

“I didn’t know it belonged to anyone.” You’re finally able to look around the room, now that daylight is allowing its contents to become visible. It’s barely filled, derelict and tired, only a few pieces of tatty furniture scattered around. “I was just looking for somewhere to hold up for the night.”

They don’t reply, only a look from the man who’s searching through your belongings, as other remains still, gun still pointed towards your face.

“Are you going to kill me?”

“Only if you give us a reason to.” The man in-front of you snaps.

“There’s nothin' in here…nothin' useful anyway.”

The rucksack ends up beside you again, landing on the floor with a thud.

"Am curious.” The Scot sounds prying. “How've you manage to survive this long with a shitty knife and an empty rucksack?”

“I—”

You stop yourself. Gulping down the lump that has seemingly formed back in your throat. You don't know these people from Adam, they're strangers, and strangers, especially in this day and age, meant fucking danger. Those who are left aren't people that you can be open and honest with, letting all of your vulnerabilities lie bare, it only gives them opportunities to use it against you, and then they take, and take, and take.

But, what do you really have to lose? The worst thing that could happen is they think you're lying and it ends with a bullet hole in through skull. And when you think about that, it's not even really the worst thing.

“I’ve only been on my own for a couple of days. I was in a camp but we—” You look down at the floor. “—it’s gone now.”

“Gone?”

You nod gently, eyes still burning into wood in-front of you.

“Another group, they came, and they just destroyed everything…murdered everyone. There's nothing left.”

“Where?” The man to your left quizzes, your eyes meeting his. His intense glare has been replaced by something that resembles sympathy and concern.

“Near Burnsall, about a mile down the river, on the golf course near it.”

The two become silent, you watch as they both turn to each other. Eyes saying more than words, a mute conversation unravelling between them. You become on edge, your mind starting to work overtime, thoughts tripping over thoughts, wondering if they were about to end your life, change it, or make you wish that they chosen the first one. And once you see the Scot shake his head at whatever the other was getting at, you become even more alert.

Suddenly, you jerk as he lunges towards you, his gloved hand wrapping harshly around your bicep and hauling you to your feet.

“Well, looks like it’s your lucky day…ya comin' with us.”

#captain john price #simon ghost riley #price x reader #ghost x reader #price x female reader #ghost x female reader #apocalypse au #price x reader x ghost

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jishyucks · 5 months

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My Boss Followed Me Home for Christmas — pjs

‣ pairing: CEO!park jay x reader

‣ genre: fluff, coworkers-to-something more?, traces of hurt/comfort

‣ wc: 4.0k

‣ summary: Your ability to empathize was a blessing and curse. When you see your boss sitting alone in his office on Christmas Day, you can’t help but invite him to your family party. And when he actually says yes, you’re kind of stuck regretting the offer simply because you’re not sure how this is going to turn out.

‣ warnings: none I don’t think?, implications that Jay doesn’t have the best family (they’re just realllly busy, nothing too bad), reader has a big family, implied that reader is smaller/shorter than Jay

‣ an: 3rd in the True Love Gave to Me Series! I honestly enjoyed writing this so much (hence why it’s way longer than I wanted it to be),, the filipino rly jumped out in this with the big family and the games I’m sorry (>///<) it’s honestly just what I’m more familiar with so it was easier for me to write! Anyways,, ENJOY THIS AND THANKS FOR READING!!

Series Masterlist

It was weird seeing the office so empty.

You weren’t constantly dodging bodies on the way to your desk, you’re not overstimulated by the sounds of the printers and the ringing phones, and the place did not seem as suffocating as you usually make it out to be.

But it was only empty because it was Christmas. There was absolutely no one here and you were only here to pick up your work agenda, which made complete sense why the office was so much more appealing.

You wished it was usually like this.

Your phone rings the second you reach your desk. When you go to check who was calling you, you find your mother’s contact photo blown up on your screen and you answer it almost right away.

“Hey mom.”

“Honey, where are you? Are you on the way?” You can hear voices in the background at the other end of the line and you’re guessing your family just arrived at the party.

“I am,” you say, “I just dropped by the office to pick something up. I’m guessing I’ll be there in around fifteen to twenty minutes?” You lean against your desk. You realize your agenda is not sitting on your desk so you figured it was somewhere inside it.

“Okay, hon,” your mom acknowledges your reply, “Take care on the way here, the roads are slippery.” She says something to someone next to her, and before you can even reply she hangs up.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and pull your desk cabinet open, immediately finding your agenda on top of everything. You mutter a 'there it is' before you push the cabinet back shut, turning to leave.

It’s before you leave that you notice the light on at the end of the long hallway to the left of your desk. It was a hallway rather hidden from the main office, so you hadn’t taken notice of it at first, but now that you did take notice, curiosity had gotten the best of you.

Because who in the world was here on Christmas?

You’d take a good guess and say it was a caretaker, but you didn’t think any of the caretakers were even paid well enough to be here on a major holiday. So if it wasn’t a caretaker, who was it?

You quietly make your way down the hallway, passing empty offices along the way. Then once you’ve just about reached the seemingly occupied room, you halt and use your neck to peek around the corner.

A gasp almost audibly leaves your lips when your eyes catch sight of your boss sitting alone at his desk. His brows are furrowed as he stares up at his screen, eyes looking rather intently at whatever he was working on. You can tell that he didn’t expect anyone to catch him at the office, dressed in a simple designer hoodie.

You hate how one of the first thoughts that enter your mind is how attractive the man looks just sitting there and typing. But you were human, after all.

“Sir?”

Jay jumps at your voice, swearing under his breath, “Y-Y/N? What are you doing here?” His cheeks heat up in embarrassment, he makes brief eye contact with you before he avoids it altogether.

“I was just,” you hold up your agenda, “Picking this up… what are you doing here, sir? Don’t you have any plans for Christmas?” Sure your reply seemed a bit inconsiderate because in the back of your mind you knew not everyone celebrated Christmas or the holidays… but your boss had a mini Christmas tree sitting at the corner of his desk, so you figured he did celebrate the season in some way.

Jay’s still slightly taken aback, frozen in his seat as he studies the random lines on his computer, “I… don’t.” You watch the way his lips flicker into a frown for a quick second before he plasters a fake smile, “But it’s okay! I have a lot of work to do anyway for Wednesday! Better to catch up befo—”

“Sir, I know I don’t really have a right to say this, but you should take the day off and relax,” you frown.

Jay is unsure how to reply. He sits in his seat for a few brief moments and his mouth bobs open and closed like a fish. Cause, frankly, how can he reply to that when he wants to do anything but go home to an empty house? Why did it have to be you who had to catch him?

If it were anyone else, they would have left him alone.

If it were anyone else, it would have been easier to send them off with some dismissive reply he can muster up in his head.

“I don’t really want to go home,” Jay says quietly. It’s so quiet that you almost don’t catch it. But you do. And because you do, you catch the way his lips remain downturned. He just thinks you can’t see it behind the miniature Christmas tree.

You feel a tickling feeling in your chest and without thinking, you ask, “Do you want to come to my family’s Christmas party tonight?” It’s funny because you don’t regret your question (well, just a bit, but that’s beside the point). In fact, a small part of you was actually glad that your mouth had decided to choke the question out before you could hold yourself back.

Jay gulps. He wasn’t against it, but wouldn’t it be odd for him to come?

“I don’t want to be a bother.”

You take a step forward so that you can now clearly see him. His eyes were running over the keys of his keyboard over and over, trying to keep himself from looking at you. “You won’t be a bother. My family’s pretty big so there’s a lot of space.”

“It’s really okay, Y/N, I’m fine spending time here.”

“Sir, I promise you, it’s fine,” you press, “My other family members bring guests all the time and we don’t care.” You take another step forward and now it was harder for Jay to avoid your gaze.

He’s forced to look up at you and that was his mistake. Jay feels his chest explode with warmth because he now just realized that you were dressed more casually than he was used to. You were wearing a pair of baggy jeans and underneath your long coat, he could see Rudolph printed on your ugly Christmas sweater. He admits to himself that you looked adorable, but to remain professional he keeps that thought at the back of his head.

“If… if you insist,” Jay replies slowly, unsure whether or not he should turn his computer off

Your eyes light up, “Well, I’m going there right now. You can follow me to my house.”

“Right now?” Jay’s hesitant to move, hand frozen on his mouse, “As in right this second?”

The answer was yes. Right that second.

The next thing Jay knew, he was following you up the stairs of your front porch and he was not even sure how to act. He was a CEO for God’s sake. Why was he nervous about joining you for a Christmas party when he’s always up at the front of a business room speaking? It wasn’t like he was meeting your family as your boyfriend or anything (and it for sure wasn’t because he wanted to make a good impression on your family…).

“Where are my damn keys…” You’re standing at your front door, wrist-deep and rummaging through your small bag. Jay awkwardly stands behind you, teetering back and forth on the balls of his feet like a little kid.

Before you can even find your keys, the door swings open to reveal a short older woman with a kind smile. Her eyes light up at the sight of you and when she exclaims “Honey! Finally!” Jay immediately figures that the woman is your mom.

“Come in, come in,” she quickly says, “It’s cold out there. Oh! And you must be…?” Your mom leans over to look at Jay who’s unsure whether he should actually move.

You speak up for him, “Um, mom, this is my bos—”

“I’m Jay,” he interrupts, “I’m–uh–Y/N’s coworker and friend.”

“His family is–uh–busy for Christmas so I invited him,” you quickly add, “I hope that’s okay with you, mom.”

You look back at him with a questioning look but he quickly dismisses it, “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“It’s no problem, the more the merrier! And oh, just call me Auntie! There’s really no need for those kinds of formalities,” your mom laughs. Then she looks over at you with a smirk ghosting her lips but she stops herself, “Everyone’s just waiting to eat.”

You let your mom walk ahead and you stay back, “Sir, what—”

“Y/N, we’re not at work,” Jay points out. And hearing you call him sir was sort of irritating him right now, “It’s… Just call me Jay… besides you invited me into your home right?” Then he repeats what your mom said just moments ago, “No need for those kinds of formalities.”

You can’t help but laugh, side-eyeing him, “Fine, if you say so, Jay.”

You lead Jay into the house, and he’s greeted by your family members sprawled out all over the living room and kitchen. When you said your family was big, you weren’t kidding. He had no idea how he was supposed to approach this situation.

When Jay turns the corner, trailing you closely, he’s met with a room full of people, all dressed in ugly Christmas sweaters like you were. A few of your older relatives were sitting at the dining table chatting about something seemingly interesting. At one corner of the nearby living room, right by the Christmas tree, were kids shaking presents, trying to take good guesses as to what they were receiving this year. And huddled on the couches was a group of young adults around your age—he’d guess they were your cousins—and they were having their own conversation, too.

And though Jay should be feeling out of place because not only does he not know anyone but you, he wasn’t wearing an ugly Christmas sweater like everyone else was, he simply doesn’t.

The atmosphere felt welcoming—that was his first impression. And he couldn't have been happier when you started introducing him to everyone, making him genuinely feel welcome.

Your aunts and uncles gazed at him with large eyes, curious about who this boy was despite you clearly introducing him as your friend. And when you brought him to meet your cousins last, you were surprised that Jay easily clicked with your guy cousins. It was like you were seeing a whole different side of your boss, one that proved that he was your age and not the uptight CEO you face at work.

“The dress code for this year was ugly Christmas sweaters,” you say once you both settled with your cousins, “But I’m guessing you already noticed.” Jay sits cross-legged in the empty spot next to you.

Jay nods, “Your family all seem so nice.”

“I’m glad you think that,” you grin, “I take pride in that, if I’m being honest.” Then you realize that the topic of family might be a bit too sensitive for Jay and you try to change it, “Anyways, after dinner, we play games. You better join.”

“I’ll try?” Jay questions. You can tell he’s growing more comfortable with the situation, but he’s still trying to keep himself composed.

“Trying is better than nothing,” you shrug, “But I promise you you’ll have a lot of fun.”

There’s a brief silence between the two of you and Jay has this sudden urge to thank you. Because, well, it made sense in this situation. He could wait ‘till the end, but he was itching to just shower you in thank yous.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“This took me a while to find deep in your dad’s things but I finally found it!” Your mom comes out of nowhere, arms slipping between the two of you to reveal an ugly sweater, “I know your dad had another from years ago!”

“I’m confused,” you say.

“For Jay!” Your mom holds the sweater out for Jay to take, a bright smile stretched across her face. She jokes, “Don’t want you sticking out like a sore thumb in pictures. Why are you wearing black on Christmas, hm?”

You almost facepalm, seeing your mom treat Jay like he was your boyfriend. Sure, it was great she was trying to make Jay feel even more included, but the gesture seemed so… odd to be doing it with just a friend of yours. You’re hoping that Jay isn’t getting the wrong idea because, frankly, it would be embarrassing if he did.

“Oh… t-thank you auntie…” Jay gulps and you see his eyes flicker toward you. He wonders if you think it was weird for him to take it. But he didn’t want to say no to your mom, not when she went out of her way to find the sweater, “I’ll put it on right now.”

“You better,” your mom jokes one more time before leaving you both and back to your other relatives.

You watch as Jay goes to take his hoodie off, revealing a white t-shirt. At first glance, you don’t process what’s printed on his shirt, but when he fumbles with the sweater, you realize that it’s an old Christmas shirt from when he was a kid. The text reads Christmas 2010 and the picture is a picture of him and his parents. You figured that the shirt was probably his dad's.

You smile sadly, eyeing the shirt as he throws on the sweater. You don’t notice, but the corners of Jay’s lips lift upward into a small, subtle smile. He looks up at you, “How does it look?”

“It looks good,” you say, “A little bit big, but it’s fine.” You can see the way the sleeves bunch up at Jay’s wrists. He looked rather adorable in the sweater (and again, you don’t say anything).

The games began soon after it was established that everyone was finished digesting their food.

One of your older cousins, who had planned the games, started the games with the kids first. You secretly knew it was just a tactic to get them tired for later, hoping that they’d settle while the adults and older kids played their own games.

Then when that was done and over with, she moved on to the first game that you and Jay could participate in—the island game. The premise of the game was to step onto a sheet of gift wrapping paper and, along with a partner, fold and manipulate it so that they both could stand on it without touching the floor.

“We need six groups of two!”

Two by two, you watch your cousins as they group together, stepping up to get the secret prize sitting in a gift bag.

“You two should join!” your mom urges, “What fun is it just watching? Jay, you must be clever right? Go try!”

Afraid to say no to your mom, Jay turns to you, “I’ll do it if you do it… you said it’d be fun, right?”

You hesitate for a quick moment. Yes, the games were fun, but you were talking about the relays or the simple, single-player games. You weren’t sure if you wanted to play with Jay, simply because it involved having to get all up close and personal with your partner.

You look around and notice that a handful of your family members are waiting for you and Jay to join, and that pressure is something you can’t take. You nod and plaster a smile on your face, “Right! Let’s go!”

Nervously you walk to an empty sheet sitting flat on the ground and Jay follows you, standing at your side as your cousin runs over the rules. You wait for Jay to realize the mistake he’s made by suggesting to play, but instead of a look of worry, he’s smiling. He looked rather excited, a hint of determination ghosting his face.

Before you both know it, the game begins. The first round was the easiest—you both had simply stood within the two-feet by two-feet sheet of paper. But as each round passes, the area that you and Jay can stand on gets smaller and smaller. And as the area shrinks, so does the space between you two.

You’re so close to him that you can smell his perfume and you can feel his breath against your forehead. Your heart betrays you because you can feel it pounding against your chest. You only hope that Jay doesn’t hear or feel it.

You look down at the folded sheet of paper. It was less than half of its original size and something is telling you that the next round was going to be difficult.

Your cousin cues for the next round to begin and you and Jay get off the paper to fold it. He mumbles, “I don’t think we can both stand on this. Or both our feet at least.”

“We can each balance on one foot,” you suggested. You test out the size and place your foot on it. There was barely enough room for two feet.

When Jay notices this he shakes his head, “I don’t think that would work… we’d just fall over. I think I’ll have to carry you.” His suggestion makes you look up and you find him staring back, “You can get on my back?”

“Can you balance on one foot with me on your back?” you question. It’s suddenly getting hot in the room. Was it your sweater? You hope so. You don’t want to dwindle on the thought any longer.

He nods, “I think I can.”

“O-Okay,” you say quietly. You glance at the other teams and see that your cousins are on the brink of tears trying not to laugh because if they laughed, they’d lose balance with the ridiculous poses they’re somehow pulling.

Jay kneels down, one knee touching the ground before he gestures for you to get on. And you do, though you get on carefully because you’re still not processing the situation. Once you hop on his back, Jay gently guides your legs around his torso and he pulls your upper body closer to his back with a tug on your sleeve. When you are secured on his back, he easily stands up.

Now you’re afraid that he can feel the way your heart’s beating against his back. There was absolutely no way he couldn’t.

“It’s easier for me if you’re like this,” he says to you. You nod even though you’re right behind him, “Stay as still as you can.”

Jay steps onto the folded piece of paper, waiting for your cousin to tell the teams that it is time to hold positions. Once she had given the signal, Jay raised his left leg in the slightest, balancing on just his right foot.

Almost immediately, your cousins fail to keep themselves from touching the ground and, somehow, you and Jay are the only ones left standing. You don't process it until it is announced.

“Congratulations to Y/N and Jay for being the first adult winners of the night!” Your cousin cheers. You notice that she has tears in her eyes from laughing as she approaches you both with the prize. A bunch of the older adults are clapping in amusement, heads shaking from the entertainment.

You quickly jump off of Jay’s back, and out of habit, you grab his hand, shaking it out of joy. You repeat a ‘we won’ a couple of times and Jay couldn’t help but beam at the string of events, watching as you receive the present for the both of you.

Jay has never in his life played party games at a family party. Sure his family was too busy to even have parties like this, but even if they did have the time to plan out a party, his family was too small for these games to even be considered fun.

And if he were being honest, this party was the most fun he’s had in so long.

“What is it?” Jay leans in close to you, trying to catch sight of whatever’s in the bag. You both have settled on the couch while the next game begins.

You pull the prize out to reveal two big bags of your favourite expensive holiday chocolate and your eyes gleam at the sight. You drop one bag and then hand the other to Jay, “Here you go. That was fun!”

Jay nods, a smile settling upon his lips. “It really was.” The adrenaline from the game is beginning to vanish and he’s coming down from his high. “Let’s play the next one?”

When it was getting late, Jay decided that it was time to leave. It wasn’t like he was leaving to escape from the party, because truly, he had spent so much time on games and picture-taking that his energy was beginning to diminish. He’d love to stay, but he knows that tomorrow, he’ll have to be back at the office doing work.

He wonders how this night will change the way you guys are in office. Surely, he’ll keep his professionalism at work, but he can’t just pass by you tomorrow and act like you didn’t willingly invite him into your home to spend Christmas with your family.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sir!” You say at the doorway, “I hope you had fun.” Jay is silent for a few long moments and you can’t help but call out to him, “Sir?”

“S-sorry, I just started getting you used to calling me by name that it threw me off,” he replies sheepishly.

“Oh… um, I’ll call you whatever you’d like.”

“When we’re out of the office, just call me Jay okay?” Jay shuffled forward and he’s closer to you now, “It’s more fitting, don’t you think?”

You nod and you huff out a large puff of air that shows up in front of you, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then, Jay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N,” Jay echoes. There's a lingering feeling in the cool air that engulfs the both of you. You couldn't quite put a name to it, but it was a nice feeling. It was warm. Then, before you know it, Jay finds himself giving you a hug. And not one of those half-assed side hugs, but one that you could easily tell he needed.

You hesitate at first, but then you slowly return the gesture.

After what felt like a while, he stepped back, “S-sorry I... I'm just really thankful for tonight. Tell your family thank you, too.” There’s so much more that Jay wants to say, but for now, this will simply suffice.

“It’s nothing,” you say, still slightly stunned, “I expect to see you next year, then.”

One corner of Jay’s lips jerks up and he laughs, “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

When Jay leaves, you turn back to rejoin your family, who’s looking at you expectedly.

“What?”

“Did you guys kiss?” One of your cousins joke.

You brows furrow and you burst out laughing, “Ha! No way!” What the hell was this guy even talking about? You and Jay kissing? He was your boss for god’s sake. Isn’t that like… forbidden or something?

You try to change the topic because the thought was mind-boggling and you didn’t want them to catch the way your cheeks and your ears were heating up at the thought. “He says thank you,” You say and move to sit next to them, “And I told him he should come next Christmas.”

Your mom betrays you, “As your boyfriend?” Of course she would say that.

Another laugh leaves your lips and you shake your head, “I don’t think that’ll ever happen.”

(Or so you think.)

taglist: @tytrackfebreze @hoonieji @niinjo @dinonuguaegi

an: ughhhhhh I really love this pair (ಡ᎔ಡ) it would be soso cute to see more of them but I can'tttt I need to write the other ones,, pls leave comments cause I love hearing your thoughts!,, n e ways I hope you enjoyed this! Renjun is up next, so please look forward to his!

#Enhypen #enhypen imagines #jay enhypen #enhypen jay #park jongseong #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #jay imagines #park jongseong imagines #park jongseong scenarios #Kpop #kpop imagines #my writings #enhypen x reader #Jay x reader #Park jay x reader #Park jongseong x reader #Jay park x reader

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lxdymoon0357 · 10 months

Note

Hey hey aurelia 🥰

May i request a yandere Chamberlain siblings and Irene with a fem knight reader? Where reader is a knight of claudia from childhood but got killed by the males leads because they thought that reader is really close to claudia?

U can ignore it if you want!^^

Have a great day ☺️

(Hey Yev! Thanks for requesting this! Trigger warning: murder, hanging, etc. Yandere content also written with female reader in mind, but it is gn)

Yan! Chamberlain siblings X Knight! Reader X Yan! Irene (platonic)

☢ Irene read about you and how you were a middle class noble's daughter, your parents supported everything you do even when you asked to be a knight to your darling friend Claudia, you trained with Felix and soon you became a knight due to your hard-work and became Claudia's right-hand (wo)man!!!

☢ But you were unfortunately killed brutally by the three male leads, which made Irene very MAD obviously, you were her favourite, and then when she turned into Irene, she was destined to make sure you were safe. She didn't care what happened, you were going to be happy and her ship is going to sail!!!!

☢ You, Irene and Claudia are the most amazing trio, both Claudia and Irene ready to throw hands for you, a knight very much strong enough to kill three bears if they attacked at the same time, yeah, it is the trope of a big gentle and two small angry gremlins, it's fine, you like your two very pretty gremlins!!! You're very chaotic to be around, ngl....

☢ Felix often helps you train and Lerase is also there, he is impressed by your strength and finds you nice and entertaining and often leaves you alone when he is in control of Felix, he doesn't like to hurt, not only because he likes you a bit but also because Claudia and Irene will not leave him if he does so, does not matter if he is in Felix's body or in the demon realm...

☢ The moment, Claudia, Felix or Irene see any of the male leads even in a 100 meter radius, they are ready to rip someone to shreds, especially them who cheated you and killed you after betraying you, yes they gave you a love potion and then killed you in cold blood just like with Irene right before kidnapping Claudia...

☢ You also taught Claudia and Irene some sword fighting and self defense to protect themselves in case you aren't there, but it wasn't much of use cause you're always near them and always there to protect them and help them

☢ Claudia and Felix are very much in love with you, the siblings always fight on who will spend more time with you and Irene always win in that matter, cause she is your elder sister, does not matter if you're 100 and she is 12, she will be your ELDER SISTER!!!! She approves of the Chamberlain siblings and would allow you to date them on one condition, they keep you away from the three male leads, Lerase is also not one to back down as well....goodluck to you!

☢ Anyways, Felix and Claudia constantly flirting with you, Lerase also flirting with you late at nights, but dirty flirting with you which makes you blush and heat up and Lerase chuckles and smiles at you, for the first time in a million years, you don't know what these feelings are and oh! If you ever see them kill anyone, just walk away, pretty person~

☢ Also, Claudia, Irene and Felix killed the three male leads, if you're wondering how, Claudia flirted with them or they asked you to meet somewhere but they got the letter and then BOOM! Murdered!!!! They got their head crushed, stabbed, hanged and other things I won't mention as it is too graphic, but not like they care!!

☢ Okay, now father Chamberlain does not mind his child to be dating you, in fact he will get you married to the two underground where same sex marriage and poly marriages are allowed, so anyways, you got married to the two....Somehow, turns out it wasn't a dream....you get Irene and father and mother Chamberlain's blessings and prays, they love you!!!

☢ okay, now that you're married to Claudia and Felix, them sharing you, one thing that is frequent is, both of them will have you to themselves separately for a whole day, they're siblings and so they know how to share things well, they do get jealous at times though... It's fine, they have you on their lap, your head on your lap or them on your lap, cause they don't care and equality!!!

☢ Oh, please train in front of them in a tank top or something like that, they love your figure, does not matter if you're chubby or skinny or anything else, they find you attractive for you and your body and your great beauty was just a plus point!!

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mauselet · 5 months

Text

The Influencer - And All Is Not Fine

This story is for @ask-the-rag-dolly's blog, specifically The Influencer AU. Honestly, loving the blog so much. Huge thanks to Mod Bee for creating it and if you haven't already, go check out her blog.

Big thanks to WanderingDragon and Foolscap Hamato for helping with the fic.

Yes, the story is named after Entropy by Awkward Marina lyrics. Also, the anon/s that speak in orange and red, you got a reference in there cause it felt fitting.

Well, I really hope you enjoy this story!

Story includes: Ragatha X Pomni (but can be taken as platonically), angst, hurt/comfort

TW body horror, possessive behavior, possession, anxiety/panic attack, haphephobia/fear of being touched, questioning sanity, self-neglect

It's been a few weeks since Pomni found out that there were currently hundreds of voices inside Ragatha's head. Wow, and after all this time it didn't sound any less insane. From what Pomni understood, those voices were a virus that had infected the circus and latched onto Ragatha. They couldn't tell Caine about this because he'd likely kill them and Ragatha refused that. For some reason, she wanted to protect them which seemed even crazier than the whole situation. Some of them were friendly, sure, but others…

They attacked Jax, causing him to glitch out. They taunted Ragatha by plaguing her mind with the worst cases imaginable or calling her names or taking her too literally. They spawned that stupid paper shredder!

Oh, how Pomni hated that thing! The next time she sees one, she’ll personally smash it into pieces.

In short, the voices–all of them–stressed Ragatha out. And who could blame her? Sometimes even your own voice in your head can drive you mad. Pomni was actually impressed that the doll hadn’t reached her breaking point yet with these “anons”, as they called themselves, constantly following her.

Of course, it wasn’t all that bad. Sure, they led to Ragatha temporarily losing her arm, but it was also thanks to them that she worked up the courage to speak to Pomni again. The thought of that always brought a smile to the jester’s face.

She was glad she could talk to her. Not only because Ragatha was nice and overall pleasant to be around, but it was also good for the ragdoll; especially now that she avoided the other circus performers to prevent another Jax fiasco or a possible infection.

The redhead’s absence was noticed by the others and to Pomni’s surprise, they were concerned about her. When Pomni first arrived, she was too busy spiraling down her anxiety to see it, but these trapped souls were friends. They cared about one another, even if it’d be in their own strange ways. So Pomni decided to reassure them all with daily reports on how Ragatha was doing.

And that was usually the extent of her interactions with them. Until Caine’s adventures forced her to stick around the whole day. Sometimes she was able to avoid them, however, there were times when she just couldn’t no matter how hard she tried. Unfortunately for her, adventures like these stacked over the course of the last few days, making it basically impossible for Pomni to check on Ragatha.

By the third or fourth day, Pomni was getting anxious. Throughout the adventure, her fingers were constantly convulsing while stuck in an unnatural position, her eyes turned into scribbles and her thoughts were as far away from the game as possible.

Ragatha must’ve been lonely. It’s been days since she’s interacted with anyone. Well…since she’s interacted with someone who meant no harm to her. Hopefully, she was alright…

Pomni suddenly jerked and snapped out of her thoughts as a gloved hand waved in front of her eyes. Her head shot up and she saw Kinger, Zooble and Gangle who announced to her that they found a way to replace her in today’s adventure and that she could go see Ragatha. If she had to be honest, she didn’t even know what the adventure was, but if she really wasn’t needed there…

She gave the three of them a quick smile and dashed to Ragatha’s room as fast as her short legs could carry her. As soon as she arrived and caught her breath, she rang the bell, waiting and…

Waiting.

Pomni felt a pit in her stomach. No, no, no. She shook her head. Everything’s fine, it’s just taking a bit. She rang again.

“R-Ragatha? It’s me, Pomni. A-are you in there?”

But she was still left waiting.

“Ragatha!” she raised her voice, yet still no response.

Oh God, three days… Three whole days with nothing but those voices. That must’ve been a nightmare for the doll and Pomni left her dealing with that alone. She left her again…

“I’m coming in!” she announced and reached for the doorknob. Her body froze as she held it, overwhelmed by worried thoughts, but also by a sense of déjà vu. She chuckled darkly at the memory of desperately wanting to know what was behind a door she shouldn’t go through and then opened.

A wave of relief washed over Pomni as she wasn’t instantly met with a glitching blob with a thousand glowing eyeballs. She walked in and closed the door behind her.

She looked around the room and her heart skipped a beat. Ragatha was there, sitting on her bed, sewing what appeared to be a suit. She was so focused on her work; maybe that's why she didn't register the bell. Pomni can't actually remember if she'd ever seen her this focused, but she looked surprisingly calm and, the jester had to admit, quite pretty.

“Um…Ragatha?” the short woman started, walking over, “I'm sorry for barging in, I was just worried when you didn't answer.” But the ragdoll didn't respond; it was as if she didn’t even notice that Pomni was in the room talking to her.

Was she ignoring her? Was she mad? Did she…hate her? All of those thoughts sounded really ridiculous considering that this was Ragatha we were talking about. She doesn’t even allow herself to hate Jax, someone who’s caused more than enough harm to her, so there is no way she’d ever hate Pomni. Right…? Yet all those thoughts, as unrealistic as they might’ve seemed, felt like real possibilities to Pomni.

Somehow despite Jax putting her worst fear in her room, voices constantly screaming at her and hurting her and Caine forcing her into some of the most dangerous scenarios, not being there for her seemed like the biggest crime of them all.

Well, there was only one way to fix it.

“I’m so sorry I took so long,” Pomni let out, her steps slowing down, “I tried to check on you, but Caine’s adventures-”

“Oh, it’s alright, dear,” hearing that gentle voice, Pomni stopped. It was nice hearing her again, but something felt off. Sure, Ragatha occasionally used pet names like hun or sweetheart or even dear–oh geez, Pomni felt her cheeks heating up just thinking about it—that wasn’t the issue. She sounded more nonchalant than reassuring.

That didn’t matter right now. She wasn’t mad and that brought a smile to Pomni’s face. However, that didn’t last long as the doll finally raised her head.

Pomni’s face turned paler than usual if it was even possible, the pinwheel eyes shrunk, making them nearly invisible and her smile vanished as if it was never there.

Oh %$!#... Oh %$!#! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! This wasn’t… This couldn’t have been real!

She wasn’t just staring at a black void with two colorful eyes where Ragatha’s button was supposed to be. She wasn’t just witnessing her friend slowly abstracting in front of her! She wasn’t… She wasn’t…

This wasn’t real!

It… It was just one of the digital hallucinations that Caine mentioned. Yeah! That’s it! That’s…That’s what it…was…

But those eyes, that void, they were still there, no matter how much Pomni convinced herself about the opposite.

Caine. She had to go get Caine! As Ragatha said once, maybe there was still time to fix this.

“Stay here!” Pomni blurted out, “I’ll be right back!” She quickly turned around and ran to the door. She’s going to come back this time. This time she won’t let Ragatha suffer.

She reached for the doorknob, but before she could grab it, arms wrapped around her and she was pulled back. One of the arms held her abdomen while the other was around her neck, not too tight yet still uncomfortable.

Feeling the fabric arms against her skin made her dizzy and itchy. She could sense every single pixel touching her, causing goosebumps to spread over her body.

“Where are you going, dear~?” she heard a whisper in her ear. It was Ragatha’s gentle, calming voice- No. It sounded different and…wrong. The voice was demanding and rough.

Pomni’s breath hitched. Was really something wrong with Ragatha? Or was her mind just messing with her? Well, the physical contact didn’t exactly help her think clearly as her body was plagued with this disgusting sensation.

“Don’t leave me~” For whatever reason, those words made the black-haired woman sick.

The doll’s embrace tightened. The touch of the fabric felt so venomous and paralyzing. It felt sickening. It felt wrong.

The jester wanted to escape that trap. She needed to escape it, yet no matter how much the voice in her head screamed at her body to move, it wouldn’t budge an inch. She was frozen in such a predicament with nothing but her racing heart, uneven breath, and voice stuck in her throat.

She attempted to take a deep breath, only to leave herself coughing.

“Are you alright, dear?” That voice again. It made shivers run down Pomni’s spine.

She sucked in another breath and let out a very weak and broken “Ragatha”. She repeated this a few times until she made a sensible sentence: “Ragatha… Please, let go…”

“Let go?” the doll wondered innocently, “why would I do that?”

“Please…” the jester mouthed.

“It’s not like I want to hurt you.” The grip tightened even more. “I would never hurt you. I would never-” The taller woman went silent. She felt the pale jester in her arms trembling and her heart dropped.

“Pomni…” Ragatha let out softly and her embrace loosened, “y-you’re shaking…” Rather than talking to Pomni, however, she seemed to have told it to herself. Reminding it to herself as if just physically feeling it wasn't enough to make it sink in.

Even some of the voices were yelling at her to let go while the others objected. Was it the good or bad ones? What even made them good or bad? Were there even any bad voices? Were there even any good voices?

The voices that objected weren’t yelling, but whispering yet they were somehow much louder than the yells.

“Don’t listen to them–” “You can’t let go–” “You can–!” “She’ll find Caine and tell him about us–” “She wouldn’t–” “It’s too great of a risk–!” “If Caine finds out about us, we’ll be–” “What would happen to Rags–?”

“Ragatha, don’t you care about us? Don’t you care about what happens to you?!”

She flinched, instinctively tensing her hold on Pomni. In no way did she help the situation, with the jester’s body convulsing out of control.

“What is it, dolly? Are we too much for you to handle? Are we too loud? Can you even tell the difference between us and your own thoughts? Is there even a difference at this point?”

Oh God, her knees felt weak, her head was spinning, and tears filled her eye. She felt like she was about to collapse at any moment, but there was something forcing her to stand. Something kept her body like this against her will despite her exhaustion.

“Oh, dollface, do you feel the abstraction crawling under your skin? Or well, fabric? Did we do it? Did we f̴i̷n̴a̵l̸l̴y̸ ̶b̷r̸e̶a̵k̷ ̶y̷o̴u̵?̸”

All the voices then started shouting over one another again. Ragatha couldn’t even make out what they were saying as it all blended into an incoherent mess. With so much noise in her head, she wanted to join them. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs; let out all her frustration not just with the voices, but with her whole body. It would be a beautiful relief, but even that was a luxury. Her body wouldn’t let her. They wouldn’t let her.

She’d swear that in the middle of all the noise she heard things that made her want to throw up. She hoped that it was just her imagination and her brain tried to give those noises some meaning, however… That would mean it was her own thoughts and that creeped her out even more. Strangely, some of those words weren’t anything bad, they were just…words. Yet they all sounded so disgusting. So wrong. Every last one of them.

Every last one…

Every last–

“Please…” One voice silenced all of them despite how weak and broken it was. No… No, it was loud and clear. It was…real.

It hit her like a truck. Everything that just happened in the span of a few minutes. How Pomni walked into the room, apologizing. How terrified the jester was when she saw her. How she stopped her when she tried to leave. How she was holding her this whole time despite the pain she was clearly causing Pomni.

Ragatha jumped back, letting go of the jester, allowing her to collapse to her knees. The small woman was sitting there, swinging back and forth, hyperventilating. She reached her hands to her arms as if to brace herself, but she didn’t touch. Instead, she grabbed her hat and pulled, her eyes shut. The bells one would associate with joy and fun now sounded distorted to both of the performers. The bells were… unnerving.

“Oh my gosh…” Ragatha let out as it all sank in. She covered her mouth and a tear ran down her face as she stared down at the black-haired woman. Her heart was breaking at the sight. “Oh my gosh…”

She did this… No, no, no. The voices did. Right…? She…She wasn’t in control, was she?

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” she mumbled, although, she wasn’t sure if Pomni could even hear her, “I-I lost control of them.” She cried more. “I messed up. Ragatha, you idiot… You %$!# idiot! You scared her. You hurt her! Why would I…? I would never-”

She felt tears rolling down her right cheek too, but that wasn’t possible. She wiped the tears with her hand and when she looked at it, her fingertips were covered by dark liquid.

Her heart stopped, realizing what that was. The dark void was leaking. The voices were right…

The bells on Pomni’s head rang again, causing Ragatha to snap out of those thoughts. There was something more important she had to do than pity herself. Her emotions could wait. Her abstraction could wait! She didn’t matter right now. She didn’t matter at all! Pomni did.

Despite her own breakdown, she rushed over to the jester, kneeling in front of her. She was in tears, barely thinking straight, potentially on the verge of abstracting, but Pomni mattered more.

Ragatha reached her hand towards the pale woman but flinched when she realized it wasn’t the brightest idea considering what caused this in the first place. She instead laid her hands on her own knees so Pomni could see them.

“Hey, Pomni?” she spoke up, her voice trembling. That sure was reassuring…

C’mon, Ragatha! Get a hold of yourself! Pomni needs you! Don’t freak her out.

She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her yarn, brushing it over her right eye to hide it. She curled her hands into fists and calmed her breath before speaking.

“Pomni, hun?” She was doing her best to keep her voice stable this time. “Look at me, please. Hun, look at me.” Pomni cringed, her body still going back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s just me. The real me, I promise,” Ragatha continued, “I just need you to look at me.” The big eyes slowly opened, showing scribbles, and looked up. “That’s it.” Ragatha smiled at her brightly. “Good job, sweetheart. Good job.”

The smaller woman was still trembling, still pulling at her hat, still swinging back and forth, still not controlling her breath.

“Alright, dear-”

Pomni flinched at that, tears streaming down her face as she looked away.

“O-okay! Okay,” Ragatha said in an unintentional panic. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out. I won't call you that again, I promise. I promise. You’re safe now.”

Still in tears, the jester stopped pulling at her hat, yet the bells kept ringing. Each sob was accompanied by a happy metallic chime as her body jerked. Ragatha had to admit that it made her wails quite adorable and each little jingle seemingly made a voice in her head disappear each time. But she wished more than anything that they'd stop.

“Pomni?” Ragatha knew she had to keep trying. “Hey, Pompom, hun… Can you look at me again?”

The smaller woman didn't seem to listen. She then choked on her sobs as they didn't mix well with her rapid breathing. Seeing this, some of the voices panicked, but Ragatha had to stay calm. She instinctively lifted her hand from her knee, however, thankfully stopped herself from touching Pomni.

“Please?” the ragdoll’s soothing voice asked and Pomni couldn't deny it. The black-haired woman turned to her, scribbles in her bloodshot eyes.

“Good job.” A smile of relief and reassurance formed on Ragatha's face. “Now, honey, you're having another episode, but that's okay. It's okay, I'll help you through it. I’m not going anywhere. We'll get through it together, okay?”

Pomni nodded slowly, choking on her sobs again.

“I need you to breathe with me,” Ragatha told her, “four seconds in, hold and six out. Four, hold, six.” She waited for Pomni to nod again before she took a deep breath that the jester immediately followed, yet struggling. They held their breath, but sniffles broke them. Then they exhaled together.

“Now, let's try again.”

And as Ragatha said, they did. Breathing was much easier for Pomni this time around.

“You're doing great,” the redhead praised her, “are you able to go on your own?” She watched as Pomni nodded and took another deep breath with her eyes shut. “Good, keep going. You’re safe, hun. Focus on me, okay?”

When Pomni opened her eyes again, they were back to their pinwheel look. Ragatha also noticed that she stopped shaking and the swinging slowed down. Her smile widened in relief.

She kept talking to Pomni while the jester calmed her breath. They were like this for a few more minutes until…

“R-Ragatha…?” Pomni finally spoke up and the ragdoll gasped quietly.

“Welcome back, sweetheart,” Ragatha greeted her, “you feeling any better?”

“A little…” Pomni’s voice was still pretty weak, but she had much more to say. She held her hands together, rubbing her thumb with the other. “But I should be the one asking you.”

“What are you talking about?” Ragatha shook her head. “I just helped you through a panic attack-”

“And I’m forever grateful for that,” the jester blurted out, “but, Ragatha… You’re on the verge of abstracting!” They both flinched at the yell and Ragatha covered the black void on her face despite being hidden behind the hair. “And it’s all because of me.” Pomni shifted her eyes away. “Because I left you when you needed me. Again!”

“Pomni, you can’t blame yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“‘Can’t blame yourself?’ You’re the one to talk,” the pale woman scuffed. She then took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“No, you have all the right to call me out.”

“Did it happen because of… them?” Pomni glanced at the taller woman, her eyes narrowing at the last word.

“I think so,” Ragatha replied and noticed Pomni inhaling to speak, but she quickly interrupted her, “that’s why you can’t tell Caine.”

“But, Rag-”

“You promised.”

“And you said you wanted this to stop,” Pomni reminded her, raising her voice, “I understand you don’t want them to die, but think about what they’re doing to you. Stress? Mental breakdowns? Abstraction?!” The doll lowered her head in shame. “Rags, you’re suffering and I can’t bear to watch. You care about the people around you and I appreciate that, but for once in this digital life think about yourself first.”

“No need to worry, darling,” Ragatha said calmly, looking up with a bright smile as if the topic was just a casual small talk, “the anons are actually what keeps me from abstracting, otherwise I’d be in the cellar by now.” Pomni cringed at every word due to how cheerfully the doll said them. “We’re also really, really sorry for touching you. We were so afraid of you telling Caine that we had to stop you somehow. Sorry we hurt you.”

Pomni was just staring at her, an unsure expression painted on her face. This all felt wrong and Ragatha’s next words didn’t ease that feeling.

“I’m fine, really. I’m sure that I can join in on the adventures again soon.”

No, that wasn’t right. She just said she’s afraid of Caine finding out, why does she suddenly want to take part in his adventures? And that wasn’t the only thing off.

“What happened to staying in your room to prevent infecting people with the virus?” Pomni wondered, “don’t get me wrong, the others would be happy to see you and they’re definitely worried about you. Heck, Zooble, Gangle and Kinger helped me get out of an adventure to check up on you; it’s just…”

“You’ve been spending so much time with me and you’re not influenced,” Ragatha pointed out.

Well, Pomni couldn’t argue with that. There were still many other issues with this seemingly spontaneous idea, but the more she thought about them the less sense her reasoning as to why they were even issues made. It was as if her mind was getting blurrier the more she tried to use her brain. She must’ve been tired from her previous meltdown.

“I guess you have a point.” She let out a sigh and smiled at the woman softly, but then… Did Ragatha have that wide grin on her face before? That didn’t matter right now; she needed some rest.

“Look, I know I haven’t been here in a while, but I should really go into my room and take a nap,” she explained.

“Oh, no worries, d̶e̶a̸r̴,” Ragatha replied, “have a nice sleep.”

“I’ll try. Thanks.” Pomni stood up and headed to the door. She grabbed the doorknob and turned back. “And I mean it, try thinking about yourself. It isn’t hard to care about you; me and at least three other people can agree on that.” Her smile widened as she opened the door. “And Ragatha? …I… Thank you for helping me through the attack, I really appreciate it. You’re a great friend.”

She then closed the door and stayed in the room.

She originally planned on finding Caine the moment she was outside. She was well aware that Ragatha didn't want that, however, Pomni was willing to do anything to help her stop hurting. She didn't care if Ragatha hated her for it–she was sure she would–she just wanted her friend to be safe.

But as much as she wanted that, she couldn't bring her body to go through with it. It was as if it didn't obey her.

“Don't leave me,” she remembered the doll's words. No, it wasn't a memory; it felt like someone just whispered in her ear.

That's crazy. It was just her imagination. Nothing else.

“Pomni, please. Don't leave,” Ragatha's voice begged her. It sounded so real. But there was no way Ragatha's whispers could reach her, right?

The more she thought about it, the more her mind was filled with white noise, static. And the longer that went on, the more that noise made sense to her as if it spoke to her.

“I'm scared,” one noise was much louder. Ragatha's voice.

Pomni's not leaving her again.

She let go of the doorknob and turned around to see the ragdoll still sitting on her knees, showing Pomni her back.

“Actually, can I stay here?” the jester asked, “I don't want you to be alone and…I'd also feel more comfortable with some company.”

“Why of course,” the doll replied, the huge grin remaining on her face. She got up and headed over to her bed. Reaching into her hair, she pulled out her bow and used it to tie her hair up in a ponytail.

“You can take a nap in my bed,” she said.

“Oh.” Pomni blushed a little, not only at the offer but also due to the redhead’s sudden hairdo change. Whatever it was, it had some strong influence on Pomni. "Thanks."

Once at her bed, Ragatha picked up the suit she was working on when Pomni first walked in. It was nearly done. It truly was clothing worthy of someone as powerful as her; someone with influence stronger than the ringmaster himself.

272 notes · View notes

akiraruru · 6 months

Note

Hi I saw you was in need of ideas 😁 and I saw you like ragbros (like me) how about hc (platonic)where they have a little sister (like 18-19year old) who is also adopted like kaeya and is also traumatized before she came to dawn winery and she is more traumatized. She is also super powerful like she is a mage (like in historical manhwa) and has electro vision is also a member of knights of favonis. Sorry I went for too much details 😅

If you don't write platonic hc, how about hurt to comfort fic of diluc/ kaeya/Zhongli where the reader thinks he ib love with someone else (like jean for diluc rosaria for kaeya guzhiong for Zhongli).

Sorry for long ask. Take care 😘

A/n: sadly I'm not very good at platonic stuff, hope u like this oneshot tho!

Included: Kaeya, gn reader, Rosaria

Cw/s: mentions of drinking, angst, possibly ooc, I suck at writing angst

Kaeya had always been passionate about the things he loves. Though, recently everything has been going much worse than before, it's like his path throughout life has become rocky, rather than ups and downs, it has really been down these past few days. He went out drinking more and more, constantly visiting his brother's tavern, chugging down beer down his throat hoping to wash down his foul feeling.

You understand what was Kaeya's feeling and you always have, you gave him time, time to think carefully and to rest his mind and body. Though you never expected it to come to this, you never expected it to become this bad; you felt sorry for him.

You tried to talk to him about it to at least help ease some of his foul feelings yet every time you do he just tells you

"I'm fine"

"I'm okay by myself"

"There's no need"

In such a tired tone, he always pushes you away. Why? Why didn't he want your help? Maybe he just wanted some time... But didn't you already give him a week? All these thoughts and questions run through your head all at the same time it's giving you a headache.

During his time at the tavern, he has encountered Rosaria multiple times in a row and yes, you have witnessed some of those times and nothing bad seems to be happening. After all those encounters with each other, Rosaria made the first move; starting the conversation first.

He knew Rosaria, a close friend of that he hasn't connected to in a long while.

"Hey, you alright?" Rosaria asks.

She looked down at the blue haired knight that had his head laying on the table, beer in hand.

"Hmm... no" Kaeya responds, his words coming out wobbly due to the alcohol.

Chats between Rosaria and Kaeya was pretty constant again, sharing small talk whenever they passed each other, talking during breaks... Of course you took notice and didn't seem to mind, I mean, they're friends after all. And they haven't talked to each other for a while so it's understandable.

It's been weeks and kaeya has started to feel better, more upright and was coming back to his usual smug personality. You were happy, proud even, but you felt a little... what do you call it? Jealous? No, that can't be right. You? Jealous of who?

Maybe it's because it was Rosaria that helped Kaeya more than you did, it's great that she helped but during those times, why did Kaeya only talk to Rosaria about it? Why not you? He always pushes you away but why not to Rosaria either? Is there something special about her? Questions are running through your mind again.

He's been out of the house recently too, often meeting up with Rosaria. At this point, you think he sees her more than you, could it be that he fell out of love? Too many questions and possibilities are in your mind, overthinking every little thing.

You decided to confront him during dinner.

"Kaeya.. is there something wrong?" You ask worryingly.

"Nothing's wrong. Why?" Kaya responds.

"It's just that uhm... You've been.. I don't know, distant?" You furrow your brows slightly as you speak.

"Distant, how?" Kaeya tilts his head.

You take a deep breath thinking about saying it or not.

"Do you not love me anymore?" You finally asked.

"What? Of course I love you, why did you think that?" Kaeya replies.

"You've been hanging out with Rosaria a lot too..." You fidget with your fingers.

"Ahh, I see now" He chuckled.

"Wanna know why?" Kaeya smiles.

You nod in reply, desperate for answers. You watched as he got up towards the calendar and pointed out your anniversary and.. oh it's today. Wait, it's today?

Kaeya goes to a cabinet and pulls out two boxes wrapped delicately, each of different colors with a ribbon wrapped around it like a bow, a letter on top of the two boxes.

"What's this?" You ask, inspecting the box.

"I wanted to make up for all the things you did for me" Kaeya smiles softly.

The letter contained 3 paragraphs about his undying love for you, alongside a kiss mark on the bottom.

"I needed some help so I went to Rosaria" He explains.

You open the boxes, careful not to damage it. The 1st box contains a silver/gold (what color you want) necklace below a tulip, the necklace has your birthstone as it's pendant, shaped into a heart, your name and Kaeya's was faintly sketched onto the back of the pendant.

2nd box contained earrings that matched the necklace, right below a rose.

"Wow... I.." You were left utterly speechless.

Now you were the one feeling guilty, especially since it's your anniversary and you don't have nothing for him

"Don't worry about your gift, you being here is enough" Kaeya brings you into a tight, warm embrace.

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the-grand-gemini · 4 months

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Wyll Ravengard thoughts/writing prompt:

Wyll's identity is so heavily focused on his father, which absolutely makes sense given his upbringing with only the one parent, but that doesn't mean sometimes Wyll never wonders what his life would be like if she'd been there. He doesn't necessarily miss his mother as he never had her, but there are moments of "what if". What would father be like, would his expectations have been the same, would his mother have stopped him from being sent away, would she have come with him if Ulder would not let him remain in Baldur's Gate, would she too have cast him out, would she have written to him after he left the Gate, would she make father stay in touch too? Wyll carries a sense of loss and nostalgia he has no means of placing. His mother is an empty shadow in his mind.

Which brings me to this: I can't get the idea out of my head that after Wyll is transformed he feels he's lost part of the gift that his mother gave him. Specifically his eyes. Are Ulder Ravengard's eyes also brown like Wyll's? Probably, but maybe Wyll's eyes were the same shade of brown his mother's were... He had already lost one during battle, and now his remaining eye has been touched by the Hells.

The scene that made me think of this is when Karlach is mourning the loss of the heart that her mother gave her. I feel like Wyll is still probably in relative shock over his changed form and is experiencing body dysmorphia. He would hear Karlach's words and suddenly have another moment of heart break. A thought that had not sat with him yet while too busy trying to adjust to his new form and survive their adventure. The gift that his mother gave him has been corrupted and it's his fault.

(Not that it's actually his fault given that he was a teenager when forced to take Mizora's deal, but you can't tell me Wyll doesn't feel guilty at times for "failing" to meet his father's expectations and internalized that sense of shame)

Even though he's never really met his mother as she passed before he could know her, he feels another level of loss. The body she died giving to him has been altered, the eye(s) in the mirror watching him are no longer his mother's. Maybe one day there will be some relief. His changed body is a means of stepping out of the shadow of who his father expected him to be. But for now there is loss and mourning a gift given by someone he never knew.

I just feel like Wyll doesn't get as much writing and we don't really get to deeply explore the horror of having your body altered without your consent! Which thematically everyone in the party is desperately trying to avoid having their body altered via the illithid tadpol! What we do get are a few brief lines saying that we are sorry and that he's still himself (as well as very handsome if not more so because... horns 👀💦).

I need to read about Wyll mourning himself and accepting his new body. Confronting his father for abandoning him in a time of need. Remembering his father choosing his duty to the city over his duty to him as his child. I mean he could have retired! He and Wyll could have moved to the country OR travelled the coast together fighting for others! However that didn't happen and I feel like a bigger discussion is needed before healing that bond.

You can't tell my young Wyll Ravengard, who loves his father so much he already forgave him the moment he was cast out, didn't cry his heart out alone under the night sky the first time he was on his own. That he doesn't suppress those emotions constantly, because yes he doesn't regret sacrificing himself to protect the people of Baldur's Gate, but that doesn't mean he doesn't weep knowing his father's love was conditional.

I need a discussion where he worries that Tav may choose to leave him someday if he cannot meet their expectations. He knows its unfounded, but the hurt inside himself remains.

I want to see Wyll struggle with his changed body and rediscover himself. Either with the support of a romanced Tav or just the entire team as a supportive found family there to help him.

If anyone wants to use this as a writing prompt please go ahead and tag me if you do so I can read it!

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padfootdaredmetoo · 2 years

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Hello! id like to make a request if that's okay! it's a fic about Tommy x reader (or OC if you prefer) where she works at the Garrison (wow.. unexpected) and you can decide in which season is set, if it's canon or not but basically she works there and she's a quite girl just.. working. She and Tommy still aren't a "thing" but some feelings are definitely there. But then, all of a sudden, things start to go downhill when some of Tommy's enemies start to have tip-offs (idk if it's the right word I'm sorry!) of the Shelby family's plans and, since there's seemingly no one else to blame, Tommy starts losing his clarity and blames her because she's quiet, she's silent, she's mysterious like no one knows much about her since she's foreign AND she just minds her business that in this case it's seen as suspicious. So of course everybody ends up getting hurt, Tommy who thinks his trust in broken and Her who thinks Tommy was better than that. Of course she isn't guilty. AND THAT'S IT. I just love angst and, if that's okay with you, the end is up to you because 1. I suck at requesting and 2. my imagination just ends here... I hope this wasn't lame or dumb but if you don't like it or simply can't write it, it won't be a problem of course!! AND SORRY IF THIS IS SO LONG (and thank you for your time! <3 ) <3 <3 <3 :)

Dear Anon!

Thank you for waiting and for sending in a request! I tried to make this angsty... but I also can't help myself and there's a soft ending.

Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, almost physical harm done to the reader, the reader goes into shock (not detailed), peaceful ending.

There wasn't enough snow on the planet to make him feel awake. He sat in his office and felt himself slip into a familiar distant stare as the loss set in from his current plan. He had a black cat, more of a rat really, amongst his ranks. Someone was tipping people off. Once could be recklessness, twice could be stupidity, but three times proves that it's not him at all.

Anger was all that was keeping him awake, his mind searching through what pieces of information were leaked and who had known about those details. The money and opium was a heavy fucking blow, but this time it almost cost him his brother. The thought was enough for his body to break its stony composure.

He looked at the clock and figured he might skip down to the Garrison. It would give him a chance to observe everyone. Of course, his mind also drifted to the barmaid that frequently caught his attention. The prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on, kind eyes, sharp tough, soft curves…. Oh, how he’d like nothing more than to take his frustrations out on you. Knowing you as well as he did you would probably be one step ahead of him in figuring it out…

Unless you were to blame. His heart gave a painful twist in the dim light of his office at the realization. He finished his whiskey in hopes that the burning liquid would numb some of the sensation blooming in his chest.

He knew you had no family and had only recently moved to Birmingham to escape an ex-boyfriend. Something that originally won you the position, a girl like that ought to be protected, and protection won him leverage to keep you off of the cops should you grow a heavy conscious. He was grateful he never had to hold it over your head because he’d not had the stomach to do such a thing. You were…. Fragile looking. Big innocent eyes, hands that were always busy, you never brought up the business or his family's long list of problems. Kept to yourself enough that it drove him down to the bar almost every night to talk to you, needing to know how your day went…..

Thinking logically about it there was no one else that was constantly around the family like you were, it would be easy for you to listen in on their meetings that took place after the bar had closed to the public. He was the idiot who insisted you stay till someone (him) could drive you home.

Fuck. He slammed his hands down on his desk sending picture frames toppling over. What a stupid fucking girl. He had no choice but to cut her, he’d fucked three trades over this girl, if she didn't hang it would only show a possibility to people that wanted to fuck him over just as she had. That there was an opportunity, an opening in the armor. Loose threads always had a way of unraveling eventually.

He thought of calling Arthur and John. Asking them to do it meant he didn't actually have to witness it himself. He could simply lie, tell himself that you’d moved away end of story.

But the thought of a man's hands on you driven by any intention was enough to make his hands fist around the edge of his desk. He felt the wood begin to splinter beneath his pale fingers and realized he’d have to manage this himself. Maybe he could just scare you into giving your employer up. Exile you to a far away land…

He lit a cigarette and told himself to enjoy this final moment before he ripped himself apart.

______________________________________

Your heart sank further and further as the night progressed. Normally Tommy would come by to walk or drive you home. As things were crashing down on the family he insisted on having you picked up and dropped off. Something that only deepened the crush you had on your employer.

One of these days you swore he was going to kiss you before you got out of his car. Tonight was most certainly not that night as you began to close up the pub. Normally the family was around for closing but tonight it was only the regulars.

Door locked, tables and glasses cleaned. You only took one step into the cold rain before a familiar car pulled up to the curb. Assuming he would only be there for you, you opened the passenger door. Heart pounding at his thoughtfulness.

Taking in his posture something inside you started up in alarm.

“Is everything alright?” You asked softly.

“I know it’s you.” He said staring at the road.

“Me? What’s me?” You were lost, a small voice inside you hoped he would say that it’s you that holds the key to his heart or something cheesy. But his white knuckles on the steering wheel made you think it was quite obvious that you were about to learn the consequences of being familiar with criminal men.

He didn’t respond and you didn't push it. You watched as the city faded away quickly, your stomach started to twist at the harsh reality that he was taking you somewhere. Probably the middle of nowhere.

“Where are you taking me.” You whispered as the cold realization started to set in. You had no family. No one to notice you were gone. No one coming to get you. He wouldn't even have to work that hard to hide your body. No one was going to go looking for it.

“To my house.” He said calmly.

“I don't want to go to your house.” You hated the slight edge of panic that was starting to rise up in you.

He quickly turned a sharp corner and you watched a lavish house come into view as he tore down the gravel driveway. He pulled the car to a hasty stop and before you could get your bearings he’d pulled you from the car. You tried to fight his grip but it was no use. He dragged you through the main floor of the house.

Your brain finally kicked into gear. It was going to be you or him, and you should start acting accordingly.

“LET ME GO” You started screaming all kinds of profanities. Holding on to doorways, kicking and flailing. Trying to make things as hard on him as possible. Eventually, he threw you down on the hallway floor in frustration. He gripped your jaw painfully and you watched him struggle as he looked into your eyes. Some silent battle raged on inside him, eventually, they softened slightly.

“FUCK. I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to know who you're working for.”

“You! Fucking idiot. I work for you.” Whatever this was it was too painful to feel anything other than anger. He raised his hand causing you to flinch, but he dropped it.

“Fucking woman. Just fuck.” He sighed.

The sounds of footsteps became clearer and you heard a gasp.

“What the bloody fuck is all this.” Polly’s voice rang out behind you and you felt her arms wrap around your chest as if to pull you away from him. “The fuck is wrong with you!” She pushed you behind her a doled out a heavy slap across his face.

“She’s it. I know it’s her. She’s the one leaking information.”

“Finn’s got Bill in the wine cellar. The ACTUAL RAT!” She screamed at him and you watched his face fall. He pinched the bridge of his nose and his features crumbled.

“What’s all this then? Been trying to call you all bloody night.” John started, he held out a hand to you and quickly grabbed on to you trying to steady you. “Shakin’ like a bloody leaf love, s’alright.” Confusion was written all over him until he registered his brother's composure. John stiffened and pulled you against his chest.

“O’come of it. Her? Really? Fucksakes Thomas the only thing she’s hiding is her undying love for ya. This is why we -” He pointed his finger back and forth between the two of them “- Need to fucking talk to each other. You let out a sharp gasp as he picked you up and carried you away. He kicked open a heavy door to a warm kitchen.

“What the fuc-” Esme started her eyes narrowing and face falling to stone at the sight of you being carried by her husband. A larger wave of fear started to threaten to crash against your body.

“Just look after her will ya.” John shut her up and placed you down gently in a wooden chair. “Thomas- Fucking idiot’s gone and put her in shock. Thinking she’s the fucking rat.”

Her composure softened considerably. She gave him a nod as he strode out of the room. You watched as she floated around the kitchen and soon a cup of tea and a glass of whiskey were placed in front of you.

“I’d start with the whiskey, love. Try to get some of your color back.” She said softly sitting next to you.

You quickly threw back the amber liquid feeling it dislodge the painful feelings in your chest. Tears started to well up and spill over your pale cheeks.

“It’s not your fault love, he’s a right idiot. Doesn’t help that he’s been falling over you for months. You scared him.” She lit a cigarette and after a long drag, she placed it between your fingers. “Not tellin' you to forgive him or anythin’. If it would cheer you up I’ll have John hold him down for ya. Landing a few blows will get it out of your system.” She prattled on and eventually, she got a few laughs from you. Polly came through not long after, giving you a similar type of attention. You didn’t understand, up until that evening, you’d never noticed them paying attention to you.

“How's he going to fix this?” Esme asked her stretching her arms above her head.

“I have no fucking idea. But don't you let him off easy. Take him for everything he’s got.” Polly pointed her finger at you.

“And if you’d rather move far away from the lot of us, the two of us will get you out.” Esme continued.

__________________________________________________

You stayed in your apartment for a few days, trying to recover from what had happened. Most of your time was spent on the edge of sleep, your mind filled with nightmares. The towering figure that used to be your ex was replaced by Thomas. Running down that hallway over and over again only to meet the back of his hand.

He couldn't actually hurt you. Even when he thought it was you responsible for almost getting his family killed, and a mass amount of money lost. Even then he couldn’t do more than raise his hand.

You thought about running away. Like you did last time…. But Esme's words swirled around in your mind. Maybe confronting him would be better.

A few phone calls later you heard he was taking the same shut-in approach as you were.

You got to his house and were let in by one of the maids. After arguing with them you finally made your way up to what you assumed was the master bedroom. You placed a soft knock on the door and got no response. You took a deep breath and moved into the darkroom.

“Thomas?” You asked quietly. You heard him let out a sigh and took it as an invitation to move closer. You sat on his bed cross-legged and looked down at his pale complexion.

“Why are you here?” He said staring up at the ceiling.

“To confront you.” His eyes sparked at that and he turned his attention to you. “Esme said I should beat you up.”

“You can if you like.” He responded calmly. You responded by laying down on the bed next to him. Three days of fear and you couldn't stop yourself from reaching out and lacing your fingers in his.

“Promise you won’t ever hit me. Or drag me around. Or be that angry Or even just shout at me.” You closed your eyes and you felt your body tense up at the feeling of being so vulnerable. “I won’t stay. I can’t handle it, my nerves - I just” Your voice got wet and you took a shaky breath. His body moved onto his side and he pulled you against him slowly giving you lots of opportunities to protest and see where he was going with his actions.

“John almost died. Million pounds at the bottom of the cut, not to mention all the lost opium. Even then I couldn't stop my heart from breaking seeing you that scared. Never again. Not by my hand or another.”

Your body believed him and the tension left you.

“For extra reassurance, Polly has sent me a lengthy list of things she’ll do to me if a hair is put out of place.” He mumbled.

You already knew he was partially high on opium. It was the only thing preventing you from kissing him. Instead, you just let yourself accompany him into a peaceful sleep. In the morning you’d make him promise again. Set firm boundaries and keep him at arm's length for a while just to be sure but for now, you let yourself relax.

____

It wasn't easy building her trust after that night. He insisted she stop working at the Garrison, which he knew was a secret relief to her. He didn't like her being on high alert surrounded by drunk men.

He'd really had to work on his temper if he wanted to stay with her. Things around him would set him off, but loud noises/shouting set you off in a much worse way. Watching you crumple made him sick to his stomach. So when he was angry he would take deep breaths. You would often trace your fingers over his hands. Finding your own way of trusting that he wouldn't hurt you.

Once making peace with his anger, you started to find your own slowly. The first time you shouted at him in frustration you both stopped in shock over the situation and you watched him struggle to fix everything immediately.

#tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #peaky fucking blinders

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spidey-d00d · 2 years

Text

Always Been Her (Rooster x Reader)

Rooster x Reader

Summary: In which, Bradley left you hurting more than ever, along with your best friend, Phoenix.

Word Count: 4k TW: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, Phoenix being the bad guy (IM SORRY I LOVE HER SM), Jake being the best best friend, this is literally just self-projection, based off of a true story! unedited work because since when do I ever edit my work

A/N: Hi! Sorry this one took me a little while, I've been absolutely exhausted lately and it's only going to get worse lol. Anyways, this is literally based off of my life, just altered a little bit to fit the characters and everything, so yeah that's fun. So that's enough from me, enjoy the angst lol. I am working on getting requests done so if you sent one in, I promise I saw it and I they are a WIP I just need a little time to get them done!

You had never hurt like this before. You didn’t know how it could happen to you, not after everything you guys had been through. How could someone who promised that he would never hurt you, basically rip your heart out and stomp on it a thousand times over.

You weren’t sure what hurt more, the fact that he did it to you, or the fact that your best friend also betrayed you, and hurt you too. Phoenix was everything to you, she had always been there for you and then some, as you were for her, but she turned around and was the accomplice to the crime on your heart.

The feeling of betrayal, hurt, anger, emptiness, everything had washed over your body constantly, like you couldn’t come up for a breath of fresh air in ages. It was a constant state of pain all over your mind, body and soul, and you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.

You had sworn to yourself after your last relationship, you would never give anyone the power to hurt you like that again. And you didn’t this time, no, you did so much worse. You gave them more. You allowed Bradley to come into your life, burrow into your heart, make himself comfortable and like he belonged there. You were convinced that he was the one, the one you were going to marry. You remember laying on your stomach, kicking your feet up in the air while writing letters to him when he was on deployment, talking about the future for you guys, writing down every dream and detail you could think of, because he was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Until he decided that you weren’t enough for him anymore, but Phoenix was.

While you were at home, writing him letters, he was out in the world on deployment, sharing his every waking moment with the one girl he told you not to worry about.

You knew about the past the two aviators had, they had a small fling but Phoenix had shot Bradley down more times than he could count, so he said he was over it and settled for friends. So much for that.

There was always a nagging feeling in the back of your mind about the two of them, but you wracked it up to the fact that you were just over thinking. Phoenix was your best friend, and Bradley was her friend and your boyfriend, so you guys had spent a lot of time together.

There wasn’t a thing that you wouldn’t do for either of them. Putting yourself in uncomfortable and vulnerable positions to make sure that either of them were okay. You would walk through fire if either of them had asked, that's just how much you had loved them, but they obviously didn’t reciprocate it back.

It started before he had even left. He was staying out later, saying that they just needed him on base for longer. Leaving your shared bedroom to go sit in the living room on the phone at night when he thought you were asleep. You wanted to believe it was work, but when he wouldn’t even look you in the eye when he talked to you anymore, if he talked to you at that point, you started to think otherwise.

You had asked him multiple times if it was something you did. If he was mad at you.

“Please Bradley, just tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?” You pleaded with him in the middle of your kitchen.

He wouldn’t even pull up his eyes in the slightest to look at yours, looking anywhere but where you needed him to the most.

“Nothing baby, I promise.” He replied, giving you a broken promise.

“That’s why you won’t even look at me anymore?” You basically cried in front of him. It was tearing you apart, knowing that you were slowly losing him but you couldn’t know why.

“I do look at you,” Bradley shot back, finally looking you in the eyes now that you had said something, but you knew from the first time that you had questioned him on it, that it would last this conversation that would soon be over, and then it was right back to square one, “Don’t overthink baby, I love you.” He told you, making you hear what you wanted to.

Stupid little naieve you, believed him. You wanted to believe him, he never gave you a reason to not. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to his words so you did, but that didn’t stop you from calling up your best friend in search of some advice.

“Phe, he won’t even look at me, how am I supposed to fix things if I don’t know what's wrong.” You cried into the phone to your friend who you shared everything with.

It felt a little weird at first, talking about your relationship with the girl that your now boyfriend had chased for a couple of months, but she assured you that she never felt that way for him, that she didn’t mind helping you talk through your relationship. You took her at her word and let it all out.

“I know y/n, but you just need to keep trying to talk to him. He loves you, and I’m sure he is just going through some stuff right now. Work hasn’t been the easiest so maybe he is just taking it hard.” You heard her speak into the phone, you could sense the shrug in her shoulders.

What you didn’t realize, is that while you were sitting there, beating yourself up and asking for advice from Phoenix, they were going behind your back.

The late nights and the night phone calls Bradley was having, was all due to Natasha. She was the one occupying your boyfriends time, instead of you.

You were being replaced and you didn’t realize until it was too late.

While you were trying to fix your relationship, save it from perishing and burning you to the ground with it, they were having the time of their lives, falling into love just like they said they wouldn’t.

You were nursing a broken heart and they were living their lives like nothing had ever happened.

The worst part, having to find out days after.

Bradley and Natasha were called onto a last minute deployment, leaving for two weeks. You had just gotten into a big fight with Bradley the night that he left, Natasha consoling you and making sure you were okay. Offering her shoulder to cry on, you accepted it until she had to leave too.

It was basically radio silence from then on, barley getting one word answers every 4 hours from Bradley when usually he was on top of his phone, never letting your message stay on delivered for more than an hour.

You kept telling yourself that he was busy, he was working, but in your head you knew it wasn’t true. It was so painful to know that you were losing the love of your life and there was nothing you could do but sit back and watch.

It was now 3 days before he was supposed to come home. It was still quiet on his end, but you were hoping that you guys could talk when he walked back into those doors. That the time apart made him realize that he was wrong, and you were just overthinking. None of the rumors you were hearing from around you were true. That he was in love with Natasha now. That they were dating. That you and him had broken up already, but you weren’t made aware.

That was until, of course, the text message had rollen through at a crisp 12:30 am. Of course you weren’t sleeping, you couldn’t. Since he had left, you barely slept, ate, or talked. It was all too much for you to do, it was too painful. Every time you fell asleep, you would dream about all of the good things that happened in your relationship. Talking was too tiring. Eating made you nauseous. There was no winning in this situation, and the text message just made it all worse.

‘We need to take a break’

The words flashing across your screen made your heart stop. It fell so far into your chest you could feel it in your toes. You mind stopped buzzing and there was nothing. No thoughts, no noise, it was just pure silence. Your ears started ringing, hands shaking, breath running ragged. Your body was shutting down over 6 words.

To anyone, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. A break is a break. But to you, it was the end of the world. Your mind flashed back to the conversation you and Bradley had early into your relationship.

‘A break is just a break up with extra steps. There is no coming back from it ever.’ He had told you. You had agreed, a break is just an easy way to let someone down, but to break their heart even more. That is exactly what he was doing.

You started shaking so hard when crying that you hurt all over. What had you done to make you deserve this? Were you that bad of a girlfriend? Was it something you said, or did? Why was this happening to you?

He gave you no answers. No one did. No one knew what was going on anymore.

You never connected the dots between Natasha and Bradley until she had forgotten to take you off of her close friend's story and posted a bunch of stuff about how much she had loved Bradley, pictures of them together, of them kissing and holding hands. That’s when everything that had ever happened started making sense.

You didn’t have the strength to answer him right away, but all you could muster to reply was, ‘if that makes you happy then okay’

He told you he loved you and that he was sorry, but you knew it was a lie. How could he be so okay with lying to you still, right through his teeth. He didn’t love you, because if he did, he would’ve at least had the decency to tell you in the beginning that he was losing feelings. It would’ve hurt a whole lot less, though still hurting. Being lied to and cheated on is the worst pain of all, especially when you are staying back in your life to try and fix something that had no bother being fixed.

Bradley didn’t want you to fix your relationship, he had already checked out a long time ago, just forgot to tell you.

You thought you knew pain, true pain, and knew it a long time ago, but it would never amount to the kind of pain you are feeling now.

If he had the respect to just tell you, to just say before he got involved with Natasha, that he didn’t want to be with you anymore, it would’ve been a whole lot better than it is now.

Not only are you feeling the pain of losing the person you thought you were going to marry, but your best friend. The person you literally ran to, to talk about the problems in your relationship. The person who had given you advice to try and fix it, even though she knew the reason you and Bradley were failing, and she was that reason.

Natasha sat right in front of you, pretending to be your best friend and the shoulder you cried on, while she was going behind your back and being the main cause of your pain. How could someone do that?

Then have the audacity to spread rumors around your friend group, that you had learned to love since you were connected to them through Natasha and Bradley, and tell them that you were crazy and a liar.

None of them had believed her though. The group of aviators that you had first met when Bradley had gotten called back to Top Gun and you followed him like a lost puppy, had dropped contact with the two, but continued to talk to you.

You felt bad for a minute, for taking their friends away from them, before you realzied that they had ruined your life. They had given you so much pain and grief to last a lifetime, so no, you didn’t feel bad that the team had chosen you over them.

The team knew better than to take the two outliers side, they didn’t agree with what they did and they knew how much pain it put you through.

Bob and Hangman had stayed with you for a few days after you and Bradley had officially broken up and it was made known. You couldn’t leave your couch for that time, everything, even blinking, was too daunting of a task for you to do, but the men had made sure that you stayed as healthy as you could. Making sure you at least drank water and tried to keep something down. Made sure you showered and brushed your teeth, and most importantly, made sure you knew you weren’t alone.

You couldn’t thank them enough after you broke out of your funk. You started putting yourself together, slowly but surely. You had blocked the two backstabbers on everything you could think of, and deleted every picture and video you could find, just to make sure you didn’t get a glimpse of them. It was too much to see that.

You picked yourself up off of the floor, physically and metaphorically, obviously with the help of the team who weren’t associated with them anymore, and found ways to make yourself feel better/

You were finally going to be okay. Yeah, some days were going to be worse than others, and you were going to have to eventually face them, but for now, for the moment, you were able to breathe.

Bradley crossed your mind here and there, small things reminding you of the time you had with him. Same with Natasha, little things that you had made inside jokes about had always popped into your mind, and it used to set you off into a spiral, but now, you were able to breathe through it. You were able to work through everything and find a way to make peace with everything.

You were growing and you realized it. You were strong, and you were brave, and you would be okay. You would always be okay.

The day that you had to see him in person inevitably came. You were doing so well avoiding the interaction all together, but it was Naval Ball, Jake had invited you to go with him. It wasn’t more than friends though, he just wanted you to get out of the house more, make some new friends. Everyone knew it was because he wanted an excuse to leave early, and if he brought you, then you could be his excuse.

You didn’t mind though, seeing everyone again would be nice and getting free booze was a plus. All you had to do was plaster on a fake smile around Bradley for the few seconds you had to interact, and then Jake would whisk you away and it would be over. Pushed to the back of your mind while you enjoyed the rest of your night.

Though you wished it to work that way, your life never made it that easy.

When it came time to come face to face with the man who broke you into pieces not a couple months ago, your body went numb. You couldn’t breathe very well, but you managed to put on a fake smile and struggle internally without drawing attention to yourself.

“Y/n” He nodded at you.

You stared blankly at him, how did he seem so fine in your presence. While you were sweating and wishing you were anywhere else besides here, basically hyperventilating, he was treating this like he had seen you every day for the past couple months. Like nothing ever happened between you.

“Rooster” You nodded back. You knew it would sting him, you never called him by his call sign during your relationship.

‘That’s for work, and I don’t work with you, so you are Bradley to me. Or baby.’ You had told him once, and stood by it. You never called him Bradshaw, or Rooster, just Bradley, B, or any pet name you had chosen that day.

If it affected him, he didn’t let it show, just returning a tight lipped smile before excusing himself. You followed him with your eyes, he made it across the room to stand next to Natasha. That was another reason you were losing your breath.

You watched as he said a couple of words to her, she tried to get a secret glance your way without being caught, but staring at them from across the room, you met with her eyes as soon as they turned in your direction.

You didn’t hesitate to turn around and bust out of the room, rushing down the quiet hallway. Not sure why you even agreed to come here knowing Bradley was going to be here, all you wanted to do was go home.

The feeling that had come and gone when you were first going through everything had come flooding back through your system. It was like you had made no progress at all. It hurt too much. To see him so happy and unaffected. How could he?

He could’ve at least pretended to be heartbroken, for your sake. To make you feel less weak, but you knew that was stupid thinking.

Bradley and Natasha were happy. They were in love, and as much as you wished they would hurt a fraction of how you did, that their relationship would fall apart in shambles, worse than yours and Bradley’s did, you couldn’t help but be happy that he was happy.

That’s all you wanted for him since you met the man. As long as he was happy, then you would find a way to be okay. If being happy meant not being with you, then you were going to have to find a way to cope, because that’s all you had wished and prayed for since you could remember.

You had tried to prove to yourself, at least that’s what you had convinced yourself but everyone knew it was for show, for him, that you were going to act unaffected. Pretend to laugh effortlessly at something the Hangman had said. Place a friendly hand on Fanboy’s shoulder and try not glance over that ROoster while you did it. Yu knew he would be watching, you fel this eyes on you all night.

Although Bradley was there with Natasha, it didn’t stop him for letting his eyes bore into you the entire night. You had glanced in his direction without rewalizing it, it was just an unbroken habit from the months you had spent with him, and every single time without fail, you had made eye contact with him. He never looked away first though, you always broke the moment and found the ceiling tiles fairly interesting.

The game that you guys had been playing all night had been mentally exhausting. You felt like the months of building yourself up were slowly slipping away and you couldn’t let it happen. You had worked entirely way too hard on yourself to try and get into the comfortable position you were with yourself, so you finally were that excuse for Jake, tugging on his arm as a cue to start wrapping it up. You wanted to go home early, and he never argued it.

Not only did Jake want to go home, he was just waiting for your signal, but you needed to go before something else happened. It wasn’t that simple though. WHile walking out the doors, you had realized you guys left in such a hurry you forgot your small bag inside. Jake had offered to go grab it for you,w hich left you outside the doors by yourself. It was quiet enough, letting you chill out for a few minutes while waiting, but that was greatly interrupted by the door opening up.

You perked up, thinking it was Jake who was just that quick, but instead you were met with the same face that had haunted your mind this entire time. You just turned around and went to walk away, opting to meet Jake at the car instead, but you were cut off, making you stop in your tracks.

“Y/N Please just hold up.” He had said, which if you were in your right mind, you wouldn’ve kept walking. He didn’t deserve the time of day, not after what had happened, not after what he did, but your body stopped anyways, against all of your mind and hearts wishes. You never turned around though, just standing there as he talked to your back.

“I-I’m sorry, for everything, I never met to hurt you.”Bradley explained and immediately you body buzzed with anger. Whipping around you let out every single word you had imagined saying to his face since the day everything happened.

“You never meant to hurt me? Seriously?” Your voice was laced with venom, anger taking over every single feature of your face, “All you did was tear me apart and stomp on every single piece. You fucking tortured me while you were off play family and house with my best fucking friend Bradshaw.” You threw your hands up in the air, “The one person you told me not to worry about, you left me for.”

“If maybe you had the small amount of respect for me as I had for you, then you would’ve told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore, but instead you went behind my back and made me feel like shit. I was losing my mind for weeks because I thought I did something wrong.” You sighed, the anger leaving your body faster than you thought it would’ve, but now your body was being consumed by anxiety and wanting to be wrapped in your fluffiest blanket.

“I lost myself trying to fix us, and you didn’t have a care in the world, because you don’t care about anyone but yourself, Rooster.” You spit out, “So please, don’t ever speak to me or about me again.” You concluded as you saw Jake making his way towards the two of you.

He didn’t even say a word while wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you away from the situation, looking behind you guys to give Bradley a look, but you weren’t bothered to find out what it was. You kept your head down the entire car ride home, silently.

You wished tonight could’ve gone different. You wished that you and Bradley could’ve been civil enough to get through the night, and you thought you were past everything, but turns out you weren’t. For the record though, he had the time to process and move on, all you were left with was unanswered questions and heartbreak. Loving Bradley Bradshaw was the worst thing you had ever had the displeasure of experiencing and it consumed you entirely, in both the mind-numbing loving kind of way, and mind-numbing pain kind of way, but surprisingly, you caught yourself thinking about how you would do it all over again if it meant experiencing the kind of love you gave. Even if you weren’t able to experience that kind of love being given to you, you knew that you were capable of giving it, and that was enough to keep you at peace with it.

#bradley bradshaw x y/n #top gun #top gun maverick #jake seresin #one shots #angst #hangman #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw #heartbreak #natasha trace #natasha phoenix trace #natasha trace x reader

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pinkjoy-cons · 1 year

Text

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙼𝚎

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒆/𝑨𝒋𝒂𝒙 𝒙 𝑭𝒆𝒎!𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Word Count: 2425

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort (i think?) it's fluffy at the end, talking about someone breaking into your house, panicing, screaming, crying, talk/use of weapons, you have a fear of lighting/thunder, unedited. I think that's it.

Note: I am working on making my fics gender neutral but with female body in mind. I have a Diluc fic that will be female and a Kaeya fic that I will rework to make it gen neutral. Just letting y'all know :)

For my darling

You loved Liyue, you truly did. It’s a beautiful city with an even more colorful history and people who make it the way it is today. There are so many sights and sounds and so many unexplored locations around the valleys and plains that it constantly kept you busy. Even when you couldn’t leave to adventure on your own, the city had enough for you to do day in and day out. Zhongli and Hu Tao certainly gave you enough work at the Wanghsheng Funeral Parlor. Being their personal and sometimes only admin worker, you were able to balance the peaceful life of leisure and commission work. You couldn’t have asked for a better city to call your home. There was one thing however you did not anticipate: The rain. More specifically how loud it could get.

You didn’t mind the rain; on the contrary, you loved it. As long as it was calm and light. Nothing like the storms that Liyue sees during their seasons. The rain and thunder would get so boisterous at times it would take everything in your power to not jump in your skin and take shelter under the nearest cover. Even when indoors, you found the comfort of being hidden subsided your disliking of the torrential weather. You weren’t afraid of the rain. That was something you would deny to your dying breath. Your boyfriend, however, would love to playfully poke your side whenever you startle and find comfort in his arms.

“I should really find the Archon who’s causing this storm and thank them. You’re not normally this cuddly when the weather is sunny.” As much as you wanted to smack to stupid smirk that was absolutley on his face, you couldn’t find it in yourself to pry away from Childe’s warm chest where your face was currently buried in. You gripped the front of his shirt as the wind seemed to pick up and cause the rain to hit the window of your small shared home with more force.

“Why must you make fun of me like this?” You grumbled into his soft shirt. “Can’t you see that I’m–”

“Scared?” That interruption did force you to look up at him with a slight pout. Jutting out your bottom lip in protest of the accusation. “Are you finally gonna admit it darling?”

“NO! I’m not scared. I do not have a fear of stormy weather. I just…I can do without it sometimes.” Your head rested once again on Childe’s chest as he lovingly rubbed your back. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your stubbornness. It was one of your flaws yes, but it was something that could be very endearing at times. Times like now for instance. He let the conversation die with a Whatever you say lovely as you both enjoyed the rest of the evening together.

About two weeks later, Childe told you that he was going to be on assignment for a week, no more than two, and would be gone for a while. He hated to leave your side, not just because he missed you but because he was concerned for your well-being at times as well. He knew Zhongli, Hu Tao and even the little cook from the Wanmin Restaurant would keep an eye on you for him. They loved you almost as much as he did so he knew that you were in good hands while you were gone. So, you gave him a kiss goodbye the early morning he left.

The daily routine you had proceeded without a hitch while Childe was away. A few new things happened here and there like Xiangling asking you to help her with a new dish or Yun Jin asking for your opinion on a new piece she has but other than that, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. About a week and a half into Childe’s departure you were stopped by Lan near the Guild. You finished up a commission with Zhongli (he had graciously accompanied you on this job because it involved some fighting that you were subpar at and you wanted the Mora) and went to claim your pay when she pulled you aside for a moment.

“You live up near the pass, correct? In that small housing area?”

“Yes, why? Is something wrong, is someone looking for a place to stay?”

“No it’s not that, it’s just I heard a few things about the area.”

“What kind of things?” Zhongli inquired.

“People were saying that Treasure Hoarders were seen setting up camps. Apparently, some hotshot bragged about the area being a good place for loot and they just seemed to flock there. Now normally it’s not that big a deal, but with the weather recently and with how big this rumor is, the Hoarders sometimes get…aggressive with people.”

At that you furrowed your brow, “Aggressive how?”

“They seem to think that because we’re locals we must know about this fabulous treasure, yet no matter how many times people explain that it doesn’t exist, they don’t believe us. Sometimes they get violent and a few people have gotten hurt. One person even reported that when the weather got bad, a group tried to break into their home for shelter. Luckily their dog was able to scare them off.”

“That’s awful, are the Millelith aware of the situation.” Zhongli asked, growing more concerned by the minute.

“They are, however, the housing area is a bit ways away, so they only send a few guards at a time. I have spoken to one who would report back to Liyue Qixing about sending more but that was only recent so I can’t give a date as to when they will be posted. Even the Traveler said she would sweep the area when she could to get rid of them but despite her great feats, she still is just one person.” The clouds overhead began to darken and you could feel the faintest drops begin to fall. It was about time you got home.

Lan noticed your distraught expression, “I promise I didn’t bring this up to scare you. I just thought you should be made aware of the situation.”

“Huh?” Was all you could manage.

“Your face, you look frightened to death.” Your head looked up at the clouds again as the sprinkle began.

“I’m not scared.” Was what you mustered as you thanked Lan and made your way home.

Zhongli, ever the gentleman and protector, walked you the entire way and even offered to stay the night just to keep watch. You politely declined the offer. The couch was not very big and you only had one bed in your cozy home so you wouldn’t want him to be uncomfortable all night. Not sure if you were aware of it but the look in your eyes seemed to only grow more fearful as the rain got louder. As much as he wanted to stay, he knew to respect yours (and he’s sure Childe’s) wishes and left you with a good night for the evening.

Alone with your thoughts, you did your best to just go to bed. Not even bothering to eat, you thought that maybe you could sleep through the coming storm. As fast as you could you changed into one of Childe’s shirts, got under the covers and held his pillow to your chest for comfort.

Your plan seemed to almost work, key word almost. In the middle of the night a loud crash startled you awake with a scream. Catching your breath, you begrudgingly got out of bed to check what happened but then you remembered.

The Treasure Hoarders.

Suddenly the bedroom didn't seem like a bad place to be. Maybe if you just laid down in bed you could pretend that you were asleep and didn't hear anything. When you turned from the door a boom of thunder broke through and you jumped nearly screaming. There was no way you would be able to stay quiet. It was stupid but you wanted to do something.

It wasn't much but you knew that Childe kept a small dagger in his nightstand. You grabbed it and with a shaking hand slowly opened your bedroom door. The rain was pounding against your little house as you walked down the hall to the living area. Every floorboard creak and noise of the house settling made you want to scream. Every now and then, a flash of lightning would illuminate the hall and you swore it never felt this long before.

Finally, you made it to a point where you could tilt your head to look into the living room. You held the dagger close as you continued in, keeping low just in case. That's when you saw the broken window and blowing curtains. And even worse you could hear men talking outside. That's when the panic truly set in and you had no idea what to do. Not being a fighter you thought your best bet would be to run and hide. Or you could take a chance to escape and find Zhongli, Hu Tao, anyone to help you. But the idea of going outside in the rain frightened you just as much.

Damn it you were scared, so scared that you didn't have time to make a decision, for you could hear the turning of a locked doorknob and a frustrated groan. With a gasp you fell to the floor careful not to cut yourself on the dagger. You hid to the side of the couch trying to control your heavy breathing.

"Wha'do I do? Wha'do I do? Wha'do I do?" And the door opened. It closed and heavy footsteps made their way into your house. You held a hand over your nout knowing you had fight off whoever just entered your home. The thunder grew louder and louder in your ears, tears streamed down your face, as you tried to steel your nerves. You waited until a faint, moonlit shadow was near your position and with a spark of lightning rose with a petrified scream and brought your dagger down on the intruder.

Only this person caught your wrist with ease and grabbed your other wrist easily. You flailed and screamed.

"LET ME GO!"

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Darling it's me!"

A pause. You took a moment to catch your breath and in the flash again you saw that Childe had returned home. Your breath released and you dropped the dagger while also falling into his familiar warmth and scent. He didn't ask any questions, just held you as you cried.

"Treasure Hoarders a-a-and thunder. They broke into people's…and the window." You picked up your head to point at the broken window. Childe let you go just to turn on the light and check. Near the broken glass was a large branch. The wind must have been strong enough to toss it into the window. Childe held up the branch to show you but quickly placed it down when you shook your head.

"But I heard voices outside."

Knowing that he returned alone, he quickly rushed out the front door to see if anyone was out. You remained on the floor with knees held against your chest and gripping Childe's shirt.

"There's no one outside."

"I could have sworn- gods am I going insane!"

"No darling no, you're not." Childe went to you and held you where you sat, he lifted you up just a bit to have a better hold on you. Your body was shaking from the torment you put yourself through. He spoke soft words to you as you calmed down he held you in his lap, rocking you both back and forth to calm you down. Despite being in the rain, he was so warm. It was a warmth that you took so much comfort in.

"Ajax," you whispered, "I was so scared. There's been sightings of Hoarders and they've been getting violent. And this damn thunder. I heard the window break." You spoke in-between shaken breaths. "When I heard the door open I thought someone-" That's when it hit you, had someone truly broken into your home, what would have happened?

He saw your mind spinning, so Childe made you face him and held your face in his hands. "Okay my love, just a second okay. I want you to take a deep breath. Can you do that for me beautiful?" You nodded and did as you were told, "Alright, now whistle." You whistled as you released. "Good girl. A few more times." You repeated the process for about a minute, this allowed your crying to stop for the most part and calmed your breathing.

"Feel better?" He asked in a soft voice he only used around you.

"Yes. Ajax. I was so scared." You repeated it. You had to, you didn't know what else to say.

"I know love and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you. I'm right here baby, nothing is going to happen to you I promise. And here I thought coming home early would make you cry tears of joy." He kissed your forehead when you finally let out a small scoof and a smile. "I promise nothing will happen to you. I'll put better windows and a good lock on the door. You can even have Hu Tao and Xiangling over if you want to, I know they love you." He kissed your lips as you nodded. His kiss told you that this would not happen again if he could help it. "I don't ever want to see you like this again." It was a promise he spoke into your neck and his breath danced in your skin and made you shiver.

A clap of thunder had you jump in his arms and he held you close. "Next time I'm in Inazuma I'm going to beat up that Shogun." He picked you up bridal style and went to the bedroom. As he laid you down, he gave you another kiss. He left the room and patched up the window. Upon return, he got comfortable in some lounge pants and no shirt and got under the covers. Bringing you into his chest, he placed his hand on your lower back to rub small, comforting circles on your skin. You held him close and relished the way he felt against you.

"She would kick your ass."

"Huh?"

"The Shogun. If you tried to fight her, she'd kick your ass."

All Childe could do was chuckle as you both fell asleep.

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mapoeggplant · 11 months

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skip to loafer chapter 52 // spoilers

this was a chapter dedicated for the one we had to leave behind. fumi came full of love to show us how mitsumi grew with so much love and care, with someone who would be there for her no matter what.

different from what we thought previously, fumi gave us the beauty and delicacy that she has to offer. where we though was jealously was, in fact, an undeniable love and appreciation that she would carry with her all her life. not only that but we had a beautiful finalization for maharu’s arc. as i suspected before, there’s a lot going on inside maharu’s mind, which is extremely normal for someone her age. while she open up to fumi, she doesn’t even have a proper reason on why she wants to go to tokyo — is purely a scream for attention.

maharu wants tokyo because she thinks tokyo is the answer to being an adult and also the answer for her parent’s attention. when we compare her reactions here with chapter 51, it gets even clearer how she’s begging for everyone to see her and ti listen to what she needs. and she’s not wrong for feeling like that, as fumi herself stated. she’s feeling alone and she miss mitsumi a lot, which just shows how much she adores her sister and how much she wishes she could be a little bit like her.

fumi was the perfect person to talk to maharu, because she’s the only one who actually KNOWS how maharu is feeling, since she felt it too. fumi blown out at mitsumi because she wanted her friends attention, wanted that mitsumi to know how hurt she was.

and, if we do the math, maharu is closely the same age as fumi and mitsumi were when they had their first “fight”. both girls saw mitsumi as this bright, incredible human who was seeking for something even bigger than they could offer and so they begged for her attention.

it’s normal, it’s something teenagers constantly feel: the need for attention and for someone who hear them and show them that yes, they are right for feeling like that, is extremely important and essential for a adolescent. and that was fumi for maharu, and maharu for fumi.

the beauty of it all, for me, is how fumi opens up this whole bitter moment of her life just to be surprised by mitsumi’s love later — mitsumi have new friends from tokyo and she loves them, but her best friend will forever be fumi, doesn’t matter what.

and why not give fumi another little confused teenager for her to have a little chat?

there’s a little big thing that happens in shima’s talk with fumi that really needs to be highlighted: when shima talks about how mitsumi’s sees HIS feelings, fumi gets confused. and i understand her!! can you imagine if a boy came to talk to you and say that your best friend doesn’t think he loves her “like that”, when in reality, not even himself knows it?

when fumi says “it’s your feelings were talking about”, makes it even more obvious to me how shima doesn’t know how he’s really feeling and how to deal with all these new emotions inside his heart. it’s not that he likes her or not: he doesn’t UNDERSTAND what this feeling means. that’s EXACTLY why he always says “mitsumi thinks i don’t like her like that”, AND NOT “I don’t like her like that”. when he puts his feelings on someone else’s hands, it just shows how he always had someone dictating how he had to feel rather than he himself dealing with it.

i do believe that put a big question mark on his head, such as “what did she (fumi) mean by that?”. after all, fumi was the first one to say “YOUR feelings”, the first one to point it out to his face rather than just think to themselves.

aside from all of that, the chapter itself is delightful. it’s a chapter that screams summer break and it just shows how much this kids love each other and how they desperately want to know more about mitsumi (look how the girls ran to fumi!!!!!!!!).

i just love to see all of them having fun and enjoying their youth the way they deserve. now they don’t have to fake personalities, hide their bodies or act cold towards anyone. they found their safe place, and my heart is at peace

a little more on shima and his feelings:

if you read one of my shima character study, you'll remember when i said the following:

what does it mean to love someone romantically when he never once felt jealous? what does it mean to care so much for someone when he was never cared to? what does it mean to give up of someone you love so dearly if he can’t even let it all go? how does one stop making excuses?

i keep thinking about this and thinking about chapter 52 and how devastating it is for a 16 yo boy who has absolute no idea whatsoever about his own feelings and how navigate thought them because he was denied his autonomy for years and years.

if we think about it, much like any other child stars, shima never had a chance to have a normal and healthy childhood. when kids his age were playing, making friends and scratching their knees, he was bearing his mother’s trauma, committing huge mistakes which would lead to one of his best friends to almost lose her career, having to keep his family life in check and having thousands of people saying how he should act, feel and behave. because of that, it’s no surprise that he would act the way he did when he started middle school.

when someone inflicted their feelings on him, he doesn’t know how to deny them, since he was always the one to accept and bear other’s emotions. he never had someone asking “but how do YOU feel?” or “but do YOU like me?”. it was always someone blaming him for it all.

chris was the only friend (before fumi) who tried to talk to him about it all and to show how much he needed to connect with himself (ririka did try, even tho people want to deny it, but she’s also extremely hurt and traumatized, ofc it will be abruptly). but it’s easier said than done. even tho he’s trying to leave his past behind, he’s still saying “she think i feel like this” — and that’s not mitsumi’s fault AT ALL. she’s just a girl who wants to be loved and wants her friend to be true to his feelings.

what she experienced with him when they both were dating told her something that maybe wasn’t what shima was trying to say, but it happened. she’s just trying to cary the world on her back, which is causing him a lot of damage.

shima is someone who still needs a LOT of patience from us and a lot of time. someone who was abused all his life won’t change in a blink of an eye. what i’m extremely thankful, tho, is that now he’s surrounded by people who love him deeply.

💛 thank you for reading it!!!

#skip and loafer #skip to loafer #duckmetas #i had so much to say about this chapter #i'm sorry #I feel like I'm writing more and more #I'm annoying I know #shima sousuke #iwakura mitsumi #fumino toyama

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satansapostle6 · 1 month

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fire and ice | james cook

Cook’s interest is piqued when an old childhood friend moves in across the street.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content.

part four.

part five.

Tiff shrieked loudly with laughter, feeling particularly drunk and high that Friday night. Cook was even higher as the two of them sat up in Tiff’s bed, drinking. They were both laughing hysterically as Cook slowly crawled over Tiffany’s body on the bed, his eyes dark with intoxication.

“Here comes the Cookie Monster!” Cook gave a toothy grin as Tiffany writhed with both amusement and discomfort at the same time.

“No, stop!” she cackled with laughter as he tickled her. “Cook! Stop it!”

He could hardly keep it together as he watched her squirm, alarmed by the sensation in her intoxicated state

“Tickle fight!” Cook announced, loving the attention.

Tiff couldn’t stop laughing against her own will, her skin feeling as if it were on fire wherever he touched her. She hated being tickled, but somehow, with Cook, it didn’t quite bother her in the same way; it didn’t come with that unsafe feeling it usually did, like being molested by an uncle. With Cook, it was just something funny.

Tiff panted heavily as his fingertips tickled her stomach, looking up at him as he was positioned over her body, looking into her eyes. He suddenly felt rather bashful as he saw her lightly panting underneath him, chest softly rising up and down with each breath. He slowly pulled himself off of her, allowing her a moment to compose herself as he did the same.

“You’re really fucking something, you know that?” James Cook said under his breath, eyes slowly raking over her.

“Cook. Stop it,” Tiff said, this time less playful as she involuntarily made a face.

“No, no, I’m serious,” he assured her. “I mean, like… you’re more than fit.”

“Thanks,” she replied curtly.

He loudly sucked his teeth in exasperation, frustrated as she didn’t seem to understand what he had meant by that.

“No, Tiff, I mean like… Your features and stuff, yeah?” he questioned, hoping she followed.

“What about them?” she inquired.

“They’re just… I don’t know. They look right,” he expressed, strangely impassioned, “You know?”

“My face looks right?”

“Stop being a tit!” Cook complained. “I’m trying to tell you… Your face… It’s just perfect-looking. Like, if I was to try and picture good eyes, or a good nose, or good bones, it would be yours, every time,” he breathed, in awe of her.

“You’re fucking pissed out of your mind,” she concluded, more than observant of the way he was slurring his words.

“I am,” he admitted, “Which means I’m being extra-honest!”

“But you also just want to shag me,” Tiff reasoned.

“Two things can be true at once, can’t they?” he pointed out. “I can want to get you naked and think you’re beautiful. Wouldn’t I want to shag you because you’re beautiful?”

Tiff stopped for a moment, a satisfied grin on her face.

“The Cook thinks I’m ‘beautiful’?” she concluded.

She was delighted to watch as a look of realization slowly took over his features as he caught his mistake.

“Did I use that word?!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, you did!” Tiff cackled triumphantly.

“Shut the fuck up!” Cook complained, angrily tossing a pillow at her.

She caught it with ease, fully aware of the fact that he’d made it seem like he’d thrown it harder than he had. That was the thing with Cook; he always made his throws look harder than they were. The only reason Tiff hadn’t written him off when they’d first met as just another shallow, thoughtless wanker who could’ve cared less about her was because of the way he treated her.

Yes, Cook was wild, and funny, and playful, but he was rarely mean-spirited. Cook’s behavior was hardly ever targeted; it was just impulsive and essentially coincidental. Most boys Tiff had known would constantly be tearing others down or trying to prove themselves superior in every wild, crazy thing they did. That wasn’t necessarily the case with Cook.

Cook hurting someone was almost always a coincidence rather than an act of inconsideration. He treaded more carefully than one would’ve expected him to. Tiff knew that, when he hurt people, it was never intended at all. In fact, Cook usually meant to do the opposite. His outlandish antics and reckless behavior were meant to entertain and inspire; he was strangely inclusive in his antics.

Cook watched quietly as Tiff took another brutal swig of less-than-chilled vodka, gulping it down as she sat beside him.

“Tiff?” his voice cut through the pregnant pause between them.

“Yeah?” rasped as she looked back up at him.

“…Will you touch me?” he asked her with a concerning politeness.

Tiff just scowled, automatically writing this off as another weird joke.

“Go fuck yourself,” she replied, meaning what she said quite literally.

“No, not like that,” he said dismissively, a haze of intoxication guiding him as he chased his every whim. “I mean, like… Just hold me, or something. Like I’m your friend.”

“…You are my friend,” Tiff reminded him, starting to realize that this wasn’t a joking moment.

“Then will you just… be here with me?” he asked hopefully, blue eyes glassy as he fought the drunken urge to fall asleep.

“What about the girls you fuck?” she asked him. “Don’t they hold you after? Or, whatever it is you’re into.”

“Sometimes,” he remarked, deep in thought. “Not as often as you’d think, though. Besides. Doesn’t feel like you.”

“How do you mean?” she questioned, expecting a flirty response of some sort.

“I mean, like… When they touch me, it’s like I know we’re about to fuck. Which, you know, is cool, and everything,” he chuckled, eventually snapping back out of it. “But, I don’t know, Tiff, when you touch me, it’s different. Like when you touch me, it doesn't feel like you want something… Like, I can just be, you know?”

“I think I do,” she nodded. “Cookie… Is it possible that you appreciate that I’m not just here to fuck you?” she guided his thought process.

He paused for a moment, having to really consider.

“Maybe,” he conceded. “But, I’d still be game if you wanted to play with my willy a bit,” he added in quickly, prompting her to roll her eyes.

He just laughed as he laid down on her pillow, looking up at her for permission. She laid down beside him, reaching to turn her bedside lamp off before she settled in completely. Tiff laid down on her side of the bed as Cook slowly leaned into her, his body curling into a ball as he used her like a pillow, comfortable as his eyes began to close.

*****

Tiff’s eyes slowly opened to let in the light dimmed by the black curtains. And as she’d half-expected, Cook was gone in the morning. The only trace of him left behind in her bedroom was the empty bottle still rattling around on the messy bed, and the nearly empty pack of cigarettes left behind on the bedside table littered with garbage.

That was all Cook was, Tiff realized. Empty. Empty, and garbage. Empty garbage.

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