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journeytothewestresearch · 2 months

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The Crow's Nest Chan Master of JTTW

I am reading back through Journey to the West (Xiyouji, 西遊記) and was reminded of a strange, seemingly throwaway character who appears at the end of chapter 19, the "Crow's Nest Chan Master" (Wuchao chanshi, 烏巢禪師). He is described as an accomplished cultivator who lives in a juniper tree nest on Pagoda Mountain (Futu shan, 浮屠山), just beyond the border of Tibet (Wusicang, 烏斯藏). Zhu Bajie claims the master once asked him to jointly practice austerities, but the pig-spirit passed on the opportunity. Flash back to the present, and the pilgrims pass into his domain. After a brief chat, the Crow's Nest Chan master orally passes on the Heart Sutra (Xin jing, 心經) to Tripitaka.

There are two things that interest me about the Chan Master. The first is his magical abilities. Sun Wukong is offended by the monk but fails to hit him with his staff:

Enraged, Pilgrim lifted his iron rod and thrust it upward violently, but garlands of blooming lotus flowers were seen together with a thousand-layered shield of auspicious clouds. Though Pilgrim might have the strength to overturn rivers and seas, he could not catch hold of even one strand of the crow's nest (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, p. 391).

This reminds me of an event from Acts of the Buddha (Sk: Buddhacarita; Ch: Fo suoxing za, 佛所行讚, 2nd-century), an ancient biography of the Buddha:

The host of Mara hastening, as arranged, each one exerting his utmost force, taking each other’s place in turns, threatening every moment to destroy [the Buddha, but] … Their flying spears, lances, and javelins, stuck fast in space, refusing to descend; the angry thunderdrops and mighty hail, with these, were changed into five-colour’d lotus flowers…” (Beal, 1883, pp. 152 and 153).

This points to the Crow's Nest Chan Master having great holy powers.

The second thing that interests me is that he is based on a historical monk, Niaoke Daolin (鳥窠道林, lit: "Bird's Nest" Daolin; 741–824). Here is his full biography from the Records of the Transmission of the Lamp (Jingde chuandenglu, 景德傳燈錄, 1004 to 1007):

Chan master Niaoke Daolin ... was from Fuyang in Hangzhou and his family name was Pan. His mother, whose maiden name was Zhu, once dreamt of the rays of the sun entering her mouth, after which she conceived. When the baby was born a strange fragrance pervaded the room, so the name ‘Fragrant Light’ was given to the boy. He left the home life at the age of nine and received the full precepts at the Guoyuan Temple in Jing (Jingling, Hubei) when he was twenty-one years old. Later he went to the Ximing Monastery in Chang’an to study the Huayan Jing (Avatasaka Sūtra) and the Śāstra on the Arising of Faith (Śraddhotpada Śāstra, Aśvagosa) under the Dharma Teacher Fuli, who also introduced him to the Song of the Real and Unreal, and had him practise meditation. Once Niaoke asked Fuli, ‘Could you say how one meditates and how to exercise the heart?’ Teacher Fuli was silent for a long time, so then the master bowed three times and withdrew. It happened that at this time Tang Emperor Taizong had called the First Teacher in the Empire [Daoqin] of Jing Mountain to the Imperial Palace and Daolin went to pay him a formal visit, obtaining the True Dharma from him. Returning south the master first came to the Yongfu Temple on Mount Gu (Zhejiang), where there was a stūpa dedicated to the Pratyekabuddhas. At this time both monks and laymen were gathering there for a Dharma-talk. The master also entered the hall, carrying his walking stick, which emitted a clicking sound. There was a Dharma-teacher present from a temple called Lingying, whose name was Taoguang, and who asked the master, ‘Why make such a sound in this Dharma-meeting?’ ‘Without making a sound who would know that it was a Dharmameeting?’ replied the master. Later, on Qinwang Mountain, the master saw an old pine tree with lush foliage, its branches shaped like a lid, so he settled himself there, in the tree, which is why the people of that time called him Chan Master Niaoke (Bird’s Nest). Then magpies made their nest by the master’s side and became quite tame through the intimacy with a human – so he was also referred to as the Magpie Nest Monk. One day the master’s attendant Huitong suddenly wished to take his leave. ‘Where are you off to then?’ asked the master. ‘Huitong left the home life for the sake of the Dharma, but the venerable monk has not let fall one word of instruction, so now it’s a question of going here and there to study the Buddha-dharma,’ replied Huitong. ‘If it could be said that there is Buddha-dharma,’ said the master, ‘I also have a little here,’ whereupon he plucked a hair from the robe he was wearing and blew it away. Suddenly Huitong understood the deep meaning. During the Yuan reign period (806-820 CE) Bai Juyi was appointed governor of this commandery and so went to the mountain to pay the master a courtesy call. He asked the master, ‘Is not the Chan Master’s residing here very dangerous?’ ‘Is not your Excellency’s position even more so?’ countered the master. ‘Your humble student’s place is to keep the peace along the waterways and in the mountains. What danger is there in that?’ asked Bai Juyi. ‘When wood and fire meet there is ignition – the nature of thinking is endless,’ replied the master, ‘so how can there not be danger?’ ‘What is the essence of the Buddha-dharma?’ asked Bai. ‘To refrain from all evil and do all that is good,’ answered the master. ‘A three-year-old child already knows these words,’ said Bai. ‘Although a three-year-old can say them, an old man of eighty can’t put them into practice!’ countered the master. Bai then made obeisance. In the fourth year, during the tenth day of the second month of the reign period Changqing (824 CE), the master said to his attendant, ‘Now my time is up.’ And having spoken he sat on his cushion and passed away. He was eighty-four years old and had been a monk for sixty-three years. (Textual note: Some say the master’s name was Yuanxiu, but this is probably his posthumous name.) (Whitfiled, n.d., pp. 56-58).

Sources:

Beal, S. (Trans.). (1883). The Fo-sho-hing-tsan-king: A Life of Buddha by Asvaghosha Bodhisattva. Oxford: Clarendon Press. Retrieved from https://archive.org/details/foshohingtsankin00asva/mode/2up.

Whitfiled, R. S. (Trans.). (n.d.). Records of the Transmission of the Lamp: Volume 2 - The Early Masters. Hokun Trust. Retrieved from https://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Lamp2.pdf

Wu, C., & Yu, A. C. (2012). The Journey to the West (Vols. 1-4) (Rev. ed.). Chicago, Illinois: University of Chicago Press.

#Journey to the West #JTTW #Sun Wukong #Monkey King #Tripitaka #Tang Monk #Tang Sanzang #Xuanzang #Zhu Bajie #Pigsy #Crow's Nest Chan Master #JTTW characters

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thehusbandoden · 6 months

Note

ok hear me out-

mulan!dabi x shan yu!fem!reader

its were dabi was one if the armies greatest fighters but on one battle the enemy manages to take of dabi’s helmet (the rest of the imperial army hasnt seen dabis face before) so after the battle the imperial army kicked dabi out (like how mulan was kicked out) because they thought he was a monstrosity/spy for the hun’s so after he git kicked out he goes to reader for help because they used to be childhood friends but the reader ran away because of the pressure of being a female

ok thats all just pls make it end with them killing the imperial army

and make them get married

and also when dabi and reader meet pls dont make her break down into tears just make her chuckle and comfort dabi when he starts crying

and pls make this a long oneshot

im having mulan brainrot

and no im not a minor i just love mulan

shes my favorite

and i just watched the live action film

A/n: I'm so sorry this took so long 💀

I hope it's worth it though!! I loved this request sm! You're quite creative <33

The Endlessly Cracking Dam -Dabi x Fem!Reader (Mulan Au)

A/n (2): I'm not sure if you wanted a quirkless au or not, but to fit the story better there aren't any quirks. If you don't like that, or there are any other problems feel free to reach out to me and I'll fix them right away!!

General info:

Genre: angst to comfort/fluff // wc: 5,700+ // female reader // requested

Summary: the man called "Dabi" was one of the Imperial Army's best men. Everyone loved him- or did they? Fake smiles and suspicions kept Dabi on his toes, always hiding his face and past. Well, until that darned Hun knocked off his helmet. Zhu Bo, Dabi's all time tormenter, claimed that he was "cursed" and urged their captain to kick him out. But- Dabi just won that battle! Everyone loves him! They wouldn't kick him out... would they? But atlas people are cruel and heartless. Just because of Dabi's patched up face he was kicked out, leaving him and his horse; Mazu, to find there way to the one and only person Dabi could confine in; y/n l/n.

Warnings!: season 6 spoilers, Dabi's background, Endeavor, betrayal, feelings of abandonment, mentions of violence, hint of revenge (aka murder), blood, and animal slaughter (self defense), If any of these are triggering for you anon please reach out to me! <33

The Imperial Army is known to have many strong soldiers. Every soldier has earned trust from him fellow comrades. Battle after battle fighting side by side formed a strong brotherly bond between each, some getting along better than others. And then there was him.

Dabi, son of no one. He was a monstrosity in battle, setting fear in his opponents hearts, and even his own comrades on occasion. Even though he rarely spoke, and kept to himself when the other men laughed and played around, they all respected him, and usually left him alone, as he preferred. He protected their backs in battle, and has saved almost as many lives as he has taken.

He was truly respected and trusted by all.. except for Zhu Bo, their captain's counselor. Ever since "Dabi" showed up, he was immediately suspicious. This man not only had a helmet covering his face, but he refused to give them his actual name, only offering the name "Dabi" telling him to take it or leave it.

He was truly about to tell him to hit the road and come back later with a real name and his face. But, before he could their captain accepted his offer and welcomed him with a huge smile and gleaming eyes. Ever since Zhu has been looking for any reason to get "Dabi" kicked to the curb.

Zhu would sneak around and look for anything ranging between hidden women in Dabi's tent, letters sent or delivered, cheating during training, and he even attempted to take a peak at his face. Not to mention that he reached out to multiple villages miles and miles away, asking for any information on the mysterious soldier. He was desperate.

Well he found nothing.

Women?

The man didn't even indulge in the chattering about a future wife or being in a relationship.

Secret letters?

The only papers in his tent were notes on certain lessons, going over every miniscule detail of his captain's instruction.

Cheating during training?

This man had the audacity to not only do what the captain said, but went ahead and did extra.

Carrying more weight, training for longer, wearing wrist and ankle weights while battle training, woke up early, and stayed up late to train.

A face reveal?

Yeah no, it's impossible. When he's bathing? Always out of sight, usually late at night and away from the usual lake. Eating? He does so far away from everyone else, after everyone else. Sleeping?! If you're lucky enough to catch this "Dabi" sleeping, you'd not only have to stay up into the hours of early morning, but you'd have to be so quiet or else you'll wake the man up and he wouldn't go back to sleep. At all. But, if you do catch him sleeping, he not only has a full coverage face mask, but the only thing poking out is black, fluffy hair, and a part of his hands and feet.

And even in the hundreds of villages Zhu contacted, he found nothing.

Giving up, Zhu decided to resort to trying to convince the captain that he was overly suspicious. And he was starting to make progress! Their captain was watching Dabi a lot more, and even contributed to questioning villages. Zhu Bo will find something, and he doesn't care how long it takes.

~~~

(Dabi's p.o.v; 4:13 a.m.)

The chill of the morning air seeped through Dabi, causing the man to frown as he hurried to get dressed. After tugging on his boots Dabi swiftly attached his sword to his belt, finishing off the look. He always had a full suit of armor on, if any of the soldiers saw his scars.. well they'd think of him as some kind of monster.

The scars that he bore were not humane, and he didn't like seeing them, so who else would? At that thought his mind turned to y/n, his childhood best friend. Oh sweet y/n, she was always there for him. Whenever he needed a break from the horrors of his household she was there, giggling as she brought him to a place to rest, and drown out the world. Sadly, Dabi hasn't heard from, nor seen y/n since he left for war. Dabi just hoped that the Huns hadn't attacked their village, or that she didn't get married. At that thought Dabi let out a growl, ready to fight anyone who tried to take his away y/n from him.

After packing up all of his supplies and his tent Dabi saddled his mare, settling on her back to start making the 10 minute trot to the other tents. Once he got there, there were only a few sleepy-eyed soldiers slowly getting dressed, yawning every minute or so. After nodding solemnly to those who waved, Dabi made his way to one of the wagons.

There were only a few men with horses outside of the captain and Zhu Bo, and those who did had to lend their horse to pull wagons of supplies. Dabi's wagon was to be filled with food supplies, and so he started filling it, keeping in mind that he had to make sure that it wasn't too heavy for Mazu.

Dabi wasn't the kind of guy to have a lot of close ones, or to make a lot of special connections. All Dabi had was his mother, y/n, Mazu, and Nainai.

His mother, who he didn't even speak to anymore was always a support for him growing up. Even though he didn't treat her well she still loved him and tried to help. He will always love and appreciate her, even if she doesn't know it.

You, the girl that he has loved since childhood, and the one and only girl that he would even consider marrying.

Mazu, his companion and friend through thick and thin. His beautiful bay Jielin mare. Mazu has been with him since his Nainai gifted him and y/n her, telling them to be good and to take very good care of her. And that they did.

Dabi took care of her whenever he could get away, and y/n took care of her when Dabi couldn't. She was well cared for and very loved. When Dabi left for war they both agreed that he would take her, but he made a promise to look out for her like he would a comrade, and so far she's been completely safe.

And finally his Nainai. No, the woman was not his actual grandma, but all of his best childhood memories came from sitting in her garden, helping her weed alongside y/n, just talking, or even just listening to her stories. When the old woman asked them to call her Nainai they both willingly agreed, and the rest was history.

Dabi was pulled from his thoughts by the captain making his way over to him, black eyes focused on studying Dabi's wagon.

"Is this all you can fit?"

"If I add anymore it will either be not safely secured, or too heavy for Mazu to pull efficiently." Dabi replied, lowering his head lightly as a gesture of respect.

"Okay. Hook up your mare to the wagon and then get something to eat. You'll need your strength."

"Do you think today could be the day?"

"I do."

Dabi nodded, moving to tie up Mazu as his captain went off to check up on the other soldiers. After quickly eating Dabi moved to spend time with Mazu, lying on her back and he thought back to y/n, the woman who held his every waking thought. Yes, he went to war because he was forced to, but instead of being bitter about it he related it to protecting the people he loved back home.

As he continued to think about his dear friend a frown made its way to his lips. Y/n had promised to write to him, just as he promised to come back to her.

So why hasn't she? She wouldn't have forgotten about him, nor their promise, so that wasn't it. She rarely had problems with her parent/guardian(s), so that wasn't likely either. The only possibilities the Dabi could think of is that either their village was attacked or she got.. married. But she didn't seem to have any interest in marrying anyone when he was there, so what is happening?

"SOLDIERS! WE ARE PREPARING TO LEAVE! HURRY UP, GET READY, EAT, AND GET YOUR BUTTS OVER TO THE CAPTAIN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES!"

Dabi hissed at the loudness ringing in his ears as he moved to sit right. Urging the mare forward, Mazu smoothly made her way toward the forming crowd. After settling to the side, Dabi fiddled with Mazu's reins, making sure that they were tight and would fit comfortably in his hands, it would be a long ride after all.

As Dabi kept his eyes straight ahead, he was pleased to see that everyone was energetic today, ranting about their future wife and what qualities she would have. After a while of their ranting Dabi spaced out, mind wandering to his special someone. As he thought back to his y/n the soldiers noticed his huge grin and came over to question him.

"So.. do you have a girl worth fighting for?"

"What does that matter? I'm here to defeat the Huns, not to bathe in the wonder of having a woman 'worth fighting for'."

"Yes yes we all know that you're battle hungry- but come on! You have to have someone! Like when you're exhausted and about to give up but then you think about her, it's important!"

"Unlike you weaklings I actually stay focussed on the battle instead of my silly daydreams."

"Gosh what a killjoy. I guess all those rumors about you are true. Have fun by yourself, loser."

Dabi just rolled his eyes, focussing back on the path in front of them.

~~~

Exhaustion seared through Dabi as his chest heaved, breathing heavily. The sounds of battle echoed in his ears as he looked around, dead bodies surrounding him, blood splattered everywhere. After scanning his surroundings, he rushed to help out a trio of young soldiers, pure fear evident in their eyes as they faced two enemies, the ragged hair and crazed eyes causing them to almost whimper.

Rushing towards them, Dabi swiftly cut down one of the two enemies, much to his comrades relief. Quickly moving toward the last enemy, Dabi dodged a hit last minute, which barely nudged his helmet instead of slashing at his neck. Moving to counter, he missed the fact that his helmet flew off, landing somewhere in the heat of battle. After splashing the Hun down Dabi turned to scold the young soldiers.

"Men! That was cowardly, get yourselves together and get back into battle!" Dabi seethed, not failing to notice how the men whimpered at his scolding, sinking into themselves.

Dabi just scoffed, noticing that one of them was the same man that insulted him earlier. Clicking his tounge, Dabi turned back to battle, pinpointing a fairly injured soilder fighting off four enemies at a time before rushing in, saving the man swiftly.

~~~

Hours later Dabi stood near the middle of the battle field, blood splattered acrossed his torn up armor, yet nothing but a small amount was his. After checking the surrounding area for more enemies, Dabi's shoulders dropped at the sight of none. They won. The Huns were gone.

Staggering toward the crowd of comrades, Dabi couldn't help but grin, focussing on their victory rather than their immense losses. They did it. They really did it.

The men cheered as they pushed each other around, reveling in their victory as many tears fell. Though, it all came to a stop as Zhu Bo stepped forward, black eyes pinning Dabi down with a wicked grin stuck on his face.

"Captain! Captain! Come take a look at this!" Zhu called, grin fading as the captain came into view.

"What is it, Zhu?"

"Look at him! He must have been cursed! Look at that face, he's a monster!"

As the captain pushed past the gathering crowd, his face paled at Dabi's appearance.

"Uh- excuse me? I am no moste-"

"SILENCE!" Zhu spat, glaring at Dabi with dark eyes.

"We'll talk in private, Zhu. Dabi, get yourself cleaned up, are you seriously injured?"

"No Sir."

"Okay, good job out there."

"Thank you, Sir."

After the captain led Zhu away Dabi clicked his tongue, moving to find Mazu before cleaning up.

After ensuring Mazu's safety Dabi cleaned up the blood and ate, watching as the other soldier avoided him as if he had the plague.

Typical.

Of course they are, this is exactly what he wanted to avoid.

Everyone always assumed the worst. After the fire incident everyone avoided him, calling him cruel names and telling him that he was cursed. The only one who knew the truth was y/n.

Dabi had told her all about how his father had trained him viciously, going as far as to burn him to the point of these wicked scars. And yet everyone thought that the man was inoccent. But, he really couldn't blaim them.

His father fought in many wars and saved the people multiple times. And yet he was a monster inside. He wed his wife for her family's reputation, and had children for one purpose: war. He always went too far in training and made his children suffer, all for more glory.

Dabi just couldn't take it anymore, and so he dyed his hair and changed his name, before running from home. He stayed with Nainai until the soldiers came.

Dabi was pulled from his thoughts by the captain, Zhu Bo, and an unfamiliar man gliding towards him, faces grim -except for Zhu's grin of course-.

"Dabi, you are being dispelled from the Imperial Army." The unfamiliar man commanded, cold eyes holding nothing but distaste.

"Ca-captain?" Dabi stutterer, hurt and betrayal pulsing through him.

"Dabi, you fought well, and you did us and the people a good service, but.."

"B-but what?"

"We can't risk it. Dabi.. You could be cursed. And I'd rather not take that risk." The captain said, usually warm eyes hardened with a bitter chill.

"I- I saved your butts back there! If it weren't for me you wouldn't have won!"

"Dabi.. just give it a rest."

"But-"

"OBEY YOUR CAPTAIN YOU MONSTER!" Zhu Bo screeched, eyes holding a victorious glint.

"I thought he was no longer my captain." Dabi sneered.

"That's-"

"Silence, Zhu. Dabi, you have an hour to pack up your things and leave."

"You're sick." Dabi sprat, turquoise eyes hardened with anger.

As Dabi turned to leave he couldn't fight off the urge to flip the trio off, causing Zhu to curse him out as he walked towards Mazu.

After gathering both his belongings and enough rations to last him around three weeks, Dabi made his way out of camp and towards his village.

No, he didn't want to be around all of those gossipy villagers, or his family, but he needed y/n. His world was crashing and he just hoped that the dam wouldn't break before he found her.

The next six weeks were spent horse back riding, hunting, and sleeping.

Dabi made sure to keep his eyes on the prize, refusing to even acknowledge the immense hurt that was brewing at the bottom of his chest.

He needed to get to y/n, and he could only hope she wasn't killed nor married, or he would be left alone in this cruel world.

Two weeks later Dabi made it to the village, exhausted, hungry, dehydrated, and smelling absolutely horrible.

Immediately going to y/n's house he doesn't even have a thought about his.. strange appearance and rushes to the l/n resistance.

Swiftly knocking on the door, Dabi's breath caught in his throat as the door swung open.

Looking up at your parent/guardian, Dabi opened his mouth to ask the question he's been dying to ask.

"C-can I see y/n?" He stuttered, inwardly cursing at the rawness of his unused voice.

"Y/n.. I- I'm sorry but she ran away some months back.. and who are you again?"

Dabi's heart dropped.

You.. ran away?

"J-just a friend."

Clutching at his chest he forced himself to exchange a semi humane parting before stumbling back to Mazu.

"C'mon girl.. we.. we need to get out of here."

Treading through the village Dabi felt the dam holding back his emotions crack.

What if he couldn't find you?

What is you were.. gone?

His thoughts were interrupted by a far too familiar face. Panicking, Dabi pressed himself against Mazu, and hopefully out of sight of the villager.

After a few tense moments Dabi sighed. Sitting back onto Mazu, Dabi couldn't help but watch as Natsuo walked away, completely unaware of his older brother behind him.

Dabi chuckled pitifully as he felt another crack form.

He had to find y/n.

(A few hours later; 5:23 p.m.)

After a while of looking and asking around, Dabi found himself in front of Nainai's door.

It was funny, really. He didn't mean to come here. His body has just engraved the habit of going to Nainai for help with anything and everything he needed.

Knocking on the door, Dabi desperately tried to stop the dam from cracking.

He needed y/n when it broke, there was no way he was going to let someone else see him so vulnerable. Not even Nainai.

"Touya? It's so good to see you! What's wrong?"

"C-can I come in for a bit?"

"Of course! Come in, come in! I just made some cookies!"

"Thanks Nainai."

"Anytime Touya, anytime."

For the next hour and a half Nainai took care of Dabi. She found him some clothes that her deceased son used to wear, told him to take a long bath, cooked his childhood favorite food, prepared more rations, and even spoiled Mazu.

When Dabi was done with his soak he had lots of good food to eat, and Nainai did most of the talking, making sure that he wouldn't have to deal with awkward silence or hesitation to reach out to her.

Dabi and Nainai eventually got to the subject of y/n, and Dabi was glad to hear that she had come to stay with Nainai before running off. Nai Nai even had a clue to where she would be- much to Dabi's relief.

"I love talking to you, Nainai, but I really need to get to y/n asap."

"Oh it's alright Dear, I understand. I'll go get you a letter from her."

"A-a letter?!"

"Yes, she gave me one for you, and told me not to open it until you came searching for her. I have kept to my promise, Touya. This letter will be for your eyes, and your eyes only."

Nodding, Dabi's hands shook as he waited for Nai Nai to return.

Y/n.. she was still thinking about him? S-she's safe?

Dabi cursed as he felt the dam of emotions crack yet again.

He really did need y/n.

"Alright Touya. Here's the letter, all I know is that she will be reachable on horseback, and that she's about eight days away."

Nodding, Dabi shakingly took the letter out of Nai Nai's hands, looking at the small envelope in awe.

"Shall we say goodbye here? I expect you'd like some privacy."

"W-why?"

"Love works in that kind of way, I suppose."

"L-love?!"

"Ah yes, the unending denial." Nai Nai smiled bitterly, looking down at her ringed finger in pain. "Now, come give your Nainai a hug and then you can be off!"

After a long, warm, and very comforting hug, Dabi was left alone in his Nai Nai's cozy living room; envelope in hand.

Mentally bracing himself, Dabi tore open the envelope with little care, too anxious to see what was inside to worry about the pretty way you sealed the stupid envelope.

Unfolding a piece of paper, Dabi's eyes skimmed over the writing hungrily, needing your location to stay sane.

My dearest Touya, if you are reading this letter you must be home from war, and I must be gone. I know that you're hurt, and that you're confused at my silence. But trust me, my dearest companion, I tried and tried to reach you, but my letters were always sent back to me. I never received any of your letters, if you sent any. I am safe, and if you'd like to find me you are very welcome to, but I do have one condition. if you are to visit me, you are to always stay with me, locked away where the world can't hurt us anymore. things got too painful without you here, Touya. so if you can, come to me? I will show you a life worth living! If so, follow the instructions on the back of this paper, that is where I lay; and hopefully- where you will too.

Your Dearest friend,

Y/n/n. Or as you like to call me, Doll

Dabi cursed yet again as another crack formed in his teetering dam.

Of course y/n wouldn't leave him like that. She was truly the best.

Hurrying out to the stables, Dabi mentally calculated where he and Mazu needed to go before saddling Mazu and their belongings, and then riding off.

~~~

It had been nine days of riding, resting, eating, riding, and resting again.

Dabi looked like death yet again, and Mazu was pushing her limits.

Due to Dabi's exhaustion, he paid less and less attention to their surroundings, which resulted in unwanted, hungry eyes to find their perfect target.

Dabi glared at the pack of wolves in front of him, eyes full of crazed hatred.

"Wanna dance, muts? Let's dance." Dabi grinned, katana held readily.

Dabi's turquoise eyes never left the vicious pack of wolves as he studied the starving creatures. He might of let them slip into his campsite, but there was no way he was going to let them get past him to Mazu.

Instantly tearing himself from his thoughts, Dabi slashed at the wolf that lunged itself at the solider, leaving a fatal gash on it's stomach. A loud whine set off the rest of the pack, causing three of the seven remaining wolves to leap at him at once.

Slashing the beasts with ease, Dabi held his ground.

A grin splayed across his lips, his exhaustion horrendously miscalculated the wolves damage. Pain shot through Dabi's shoulder as a fallen wolf leaped onto him, landing a fairly decent blow.

Cursing, Dabi stabbed the wolf in the chest, killing the animal.

Turning to the others, Dabi chuckled bitterly.

~~~

(Your p.o.v; 12:22 a.m.)

You sighed as you finished writing another letter.

It has been months since you've last seen Touya.. where could he be? Is he still in war, or did he make it home? Did he decide to stay, or did he find a nice young lady to marry and move to her village? Could he possibly be coming to you now?

The thoughts swirled in your head, souring your mood further.

Touya was not the kind of person to get married to some pretty little nobody. He cares for love, which was most likely due to his trauma with his parents relationship.

If he were to marry someone, he would have to love her deeply.

The thought made you sigh as you made your way to your bed, the thought of some rest helping ease some of the worries within you.

It will all work out in the end. If he truly didn't want to be out here with you, then that was his choice. You couldn't force him to, that would just be cruel, no matter how tempting.

You awoke to a pounding on your door.

Groaning, you grumpily make your way to the noise, opening the door grudgingly.

"What the heck do you wa-"

You were interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around you.

Baffled, you were about to push the person off before you recognized the purple scars.

"Touya? What's wrong To?"

Touya simply shook his head, pushing himself as close as possible to your warmer form.

"Why don't you come in? It's warmer in here."

Touya squeezed you once before skidding into your cabin. After you closed the door he was back in your arms, pressing himself close to your back, head buried in your hair. Returning his embrace as best as possible, you stayed there with him for as long as he needed.

A few minutes later he pulled away before softly spinning you around to face him.

Chuckling, you move to wipe the blood streaming down his cheeks. "Shh it's okay Touya. I'm here now."

Bursting into sobs, Touya buried his head into your neck, arms wrapping around your waist.

"They- I- you-"

"Shh it's okay. It's all okay now. You're safe."

After a while Touya calmed down a lot, and the two of you had moved to your small wooden loveseat.

"Mazu.."

"Mazu? Oh- is she out there?"

Touya simply nodded, eyes hooded as he stared at you.

Squeezing his hand reassuringly, you make your way outside.

Mazu was grazing obediently next to a fence, her reign poorly tied. "Mazu!" You greet, petting the mare's neck lovingly. Neighing softly, Mazu nuzzled her head against yours.

After spending a little time with Mazu, taking care of her, and putting her away in a stall, you hurry back to Touya's side.

Walking in, you smile at the sight of Touya dozing on the love seat, hand buried in your German Shepherd Jin's fur. Smiling, you gesture for Jin to stay before getting ready for bed yourself.

(The next morning; 8:23 a.m.)

Loud footsteps stirred you from your slumber. Rubbing your eyes, you tense at the sounds of another person in your cabin.

Why hadn't Jin alerted you?!

Why would he let a stranger in?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of soft, familiar curses. Touya? Why would Touya be in your-

And then the memories came flooding back.

Smiling, you hurry to greet your best friend properly. "Good morning Tou-"

Your heart stopped at the sight of the man in front of Your beloved Touya was overed in.. blood.

"Touya what happened?!" You demand, rushing to inspect the damage.

"A pack of wolves attacked me and Mazu. Don't worry about it. Most of it isn't mine."

Scoffing, you grab a wash tub to start filling.

"Ah don't be like that Doll."

You simply snort, filling the tub with hot, soapy water.

"Get in, wash up." You command, glaring at the man in front of you.

"With you in the room- I didn't know you were so-"

"No! I'm gonna leave, idiot!"

At your angered tone Touya's mood noticeably dropped, causing you to curse.

"Y-you're not mad at me.. are you?" Touya asked, voice small with worry. Everyone else but you and Nainai had rejected or neglected him. He couldn't bare to lose you too.

"Oh Touya no. I'm not mad at you. I'm just cross with you for being so nonchalant about getting hurt."

"But-"

"No buts. I care about you, I don't want to see you care so little about yourself. Put yourself in my shoes."

"W-what? I don't think they'd fit."

Smiling, you shake your head affectionately.

Ah yes. 'Dabi' was still your Touya, a confused and hurt teenager at heart really. He didn't understand metaphors much.

"I mean- look at it from my perspective. What if I got hurt, and acted like it was okay. Wouldn't you be a little upset?"

"I'd kick your butt and pin you down to make sure you're all patched up." Touya huffed, eyes holding a slight glint- warning you to not test him.

"See- that's what I'm dealing with. I care about a lot, I don't want to see you get hurt."

Slowly nodding, Touya's eyes were focused on your face.

MmYou blushed as he stared, noticing how he kept shifting from your eyes to your lips. You'd call him creepy- if you weren't doing the exact same thing.

"Y/n.. have I told you how much I've missed you?" Touya whispered, bringing his face slightly closer to yours.

"No, I don't think so." You smile, following his lead in advancement.

"Well then.. why don't I-"

You both were interrupted by Jin jumping on top of you, smothering your face in his wet and xsloberyx kisses.

"Jin, Off!" You command, causing the large dog to back off of you and sit between you and your love- crush? Friend? You don't even know anymore.

Clearing your throat, you keep your eyes held low as you studied Jin's fur, combing your fingers through his dark fur.

"Umm, I'm going to go care for Mazu. Why don't you wash up?" You blush, sinking closer to your pet.

"Y-yeah that's a good idea.." Touya replied, voice strained from some kind of emotion- embarrassment; you guessed.

Standing up, you gesture for Jin to follow you as you make your way out of the cabin.

"Oh- Touya?" You call, shyly glancing at the male.

"Y-yeah?"

"Your room is in the loft.. there's a ladder in the stable, and a towel will be on the shelf behind you. You have some personal clothes and belongings from the village.."

"Thank you y/n.." Touya whispered, blood pooling under his eyes.

"I'd hug you but uh- you're kinda soaked in blood sooo.."

"Just go you baby!" Touya laughed, making you smile.

~~~

(Two weeks later; 11:38 p.m.)

A sigh escaped your lips as you traced the scars on Touya's arms, desperately wishing to be able to lay kisses on the patched skin.

In the two weeks that Touya's been here, neither of you have talked about the almost kiss; though it was most definitely on both of your minds.

It was driving you insane- you loved Touya with all of your heart, so why couldn't you just voice those feelings?! Why was love so.. so complicated?!

Sighing again, you caught Touya's attention.

"What's wrong, Doll?"

"Oh I'm just.. thinking."

"About?"

"I really don't think you'd be interested.." you murmur, eyes never leaving the gorgeous skin of your childhood best friend.

"Tell me, I want to know what's bothering you." Touya insisted, placing a hand underneath your chin before bringing your gaze to his turquoise eyes.

"Umm.. what do you think about the- the kiss?" You stutter, wetting your lips at the wonder of Touya's eyes.

They were so... gorgeous.

"The kiss? Well.. I'm not really sure. I'm not really used to these kinds of things you know."

"Me neither." You huff, e/c eyes tracing every feature of Touya's.

"But, I do know that I want to try it again.." Touya continued, hand sliding up to cup your cheek. "If you'd let me, that is."

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared up at Touya.

Was this really what you wanted- did you love him?

Your heart beating against your chest screamed yes- causing your cheeks to burn.

"I- this isn't some kind of game to you?" You stutter, mind panicking at his closeness.

"I promise you that it isn't." Touya whispered, thumb caressing below your eye.

"T-then kiss me- please."

A warm chuckle emitted from Touya before he seized your lips with his.

The surprising contrast of his soft upper lip and his rough, almost leathery bottom one caused you to gasp. Taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss, Touya brought his other hand to hold your other cheek. Moving one hand to his neck and the other to his hair, you kissed him back with just as much emotion.

After a few, intense moments you pulled away, gasping for air.

"That- was- amazing-" Touya gasped, stroking your cheek with renewed gentleness.

You giggled as you smiled up at your childhood friend.

"I've been waiting to do that for a long~ time." You tease, practically purring as Touya pulled you closer to his warmth.

"And I've been waiting for longer!" Touya playfully growled, moving his hands to tickle your sides.

"S-stop that!" You laugh, moving your hands to carefully tickle his arms, avoiding the burnt areas with care.

After a few minutes of giggles, you both slowed down before you were simply just staring at one another, entranced in each other's gaze.

"I- I think I love you." Touya whispered, breathe fanning over your lips.

"And I know I love you." You giggle, pressing a kiss to Touya's lips, smiling into the kiss.

After a few, incredibaly soft and dreamy kisses Touya rest his forehead on yours, looking down at you. "Marry me."

"Wh-what?"

"Marry me. We can build our own family here, away from the world. They'll find us eventually.. and an unmarried woman like yourself would be forced to marry some snobby noble."

"You're just making excuses to make me yours." You tease, bumping your nose against his.

"Maybe I am. Would that be so bad?"

"Mmm not really."

"Oh ho? Is that a yes?" Touya smirked, pulling you into his lap.

"Depends. I require lots of attention. Plus foot massages when I'm pregnant."

"P-pregnant?"

"You mentioned a family, did you not?"

"Y-yeah.. I did."

"But on a more serious note, what are we going to do about the Imperial Army? They'll find us eventually- like you said, and then they'll expect our son or sons to go to war. And our daughters to get married-"

"Shhh, it's okay, Doll." Touya soothed, pressing a finger to your lips- receiving a kiss to the warm flesh.

"How about we.. get some revenge and protect our future angels?"

"That sound perfect, actually." You grin, knowing where this was going.

"But, marry me first. And then we'll go traveling around for our honeymoon.. we wouldn't be searching for the army's camp ground or anything.."

"I love you so freaking much."

"Not as much as I love you, Doll."

~~~~

A/n 3: I'm not too sure about the ending, but I hope this wasn't too long + suited your taste anon!! Also, I have zero experience kissing, so I hope it did an okay job lol 💀😅

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