#seventeen legit followers

[organised-disaster]

Big news, seventeen followers

I have discovered cargo pants

Now I have a place to store any cool rocks I find

#shitpost #actually autistic #cool rock storage unlocked #extra inventory slots booyah #clothing #cargo shorts #seventeen legit followers

[neverendingford]

,

#tag talk #excuse me while I get drunk and ramble about the magic of human connection to my younger friend who hasn't had to deal with all this yet #when people talk about the importance of intergenerational friendships they're talking about me mentoring the gay kids I meet on minecraft #because no one should have to grow up alone. #and sure. “minors shouldn't interact with sex” is a pretty set in stone rule. but do you think the minors are following it? #do you think it benefits kids who are already having sex in high school if we clam up like puritans about the existence of cum? #I did get the chance to refer him to the scarleteen website though so thanks whatever tumblr post offered me that resource #but gay kids with Christian parents deserve the chance to have a safe space to make daddy jokes and talk about having a hard time #and my entire life I've hated disapproving adults who shake their heads and go tsk tsk when you talk about anything they deem inappropriate #I'm not about to turn into one. I'm not about to shut a kid up just because I think they shouldn't think about sex. #they're just going to find that info elsewhere. they're just going to find someone else to talk to. to confide in #no one should grow up alone. I want to be someone people can talk to #I needed someone I could talk about this shit with when I was twelve. you don't get to tell me minors can't ever think about sex #I needed someone when I was a kid and I had no one. I choose caring about others over a rule without context. #gay kids deserve to know that other gay people exist. they deserve to talk to someone who will resonate with their life experience #I do appreciate all the “hey watch out for grooming” PSAs though. I always make sure to steer clear of a lot of those things #cause like. I know I'm above board. but deniability and accountability and all that. but #but kids do deserve to be treated like humans. like beings capable of autonomous thought #which btw this particular friend is legit almost eighteen I'm not getting drunk and talking about sex with a nine year old don't kill me #plenty of seventeen year olds already know about sex and alcohol and drugs and politics and crime and shit #you don't turn eighteen and immediately eat from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil that's not how growing up works #anyway “people stop having a black and white view about the transition from childhood to adulthood” challenge. there's nuance and ambiguity #I wanted to be treated like a real human being when I was a child. I'm not about to deny that from someone else.

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

When We Are Together - Matty Healy

Summary: In which Matty falls in love with you in stages his entire life. He knows everything is better when you're together but the two of you are oblivious to the fact you're in love with each other.

Warnings: Swearing. A small section of smut in flashback 2. Unfortunately it's not with Matty. It's with George because I am a whore. Mentions of The S*n. Mentions of Matty going to rehab, obviously we don't know all the personal details apart from the fact there was an intervention after the ilwys era ended and he went and now he's in recovery.  

Author's Note: Self proclaimed 'Not a Matty girl' just wrote 12K lol this has legit taken so long cause I procrastinate but hope you like it!  Really fucking long because I tend to let my mind wonder, I don't even know if this is any good but I'm trying to get better. I thought the concept was cute anyway. So enjoy! Let me know what you guys think and if you liked it x

Word Count: 12K

Your life had always been surrounded by the boys. So many moments in your life that their fans could only ever dream of knowing about or being involved in but you didn’t know any different, it was just your life. You had no choice in the matter when your brother and best friend in the entire world was the bassist in the band. That’s right; Ross MacDonald was your big brother and you seemed to be somewhat of a legend amongst their hardcore fanbase yourself for putting up with their antics for as long as you had! Not that you really had a choice when you were tied to them via blood but they had also hired you as their personal assistant so you could follow them around the world and so none of them had to part from you for too long.

You had personal relationships with all of the band, not just your brother who genuinely was the best big brother you could have ever asked for. He was your best friend and had been since the moment you were born. Sometimes it irritated the others how annoying the two of you were when you both got into silly moods, with all your inside jokes and side looks that nobody else understood. Especially Matty who always wanted in on the joke. But Ross was a ride or die kind of guy and you were the same. If it came down to it you would fight over who took the first bullet.

Adam Hann. Adam truly was an angel of man sent to earth to be your bestie and you don’t think you could love him anymore if you could. Someone you could geek out about The Office with on the tour bus and who brought you coffee when he could see you needed a pick me up. The most level headed of the boys, you know he’ll always be on your side. Someone who’s come to your rescue during many nights out both pre and post fame and took your hand, pretended to be your boyfriend with no questions asked and got you away from creeps more times than you would have liked. You couldn’t be more grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann.

George Daniel. Your ‘little’ Georgie had been in your form at school, so apart from your brother until you were much older and started hanging out with them more, you had spent the most time with him. So it’s fair to say that the pair of you were close. So close that you lived with him and Matty in your early twenties. Even a small indiscretion on his 23rd birthday much to your brother’s dismay didn’t change the course of your relationship. Now that you were both thirty two and you were still working for him, clearly the two of you didn’t care that you had seen each other naked. If anything your night together all those many moons ago had brought you closer together. You would trust him with your life.

Then there was Matty. Matty was something else. If you asked his fans, depending on if you were asking old or new fans. He was something else in two senses of the word. To you he was just Matthew. Your big brother’s best friend who was a bit of a weird kid, transitioned into a somewhat cool teenager who you had a bit of a crush on when you were seventeen, to the most annoying person you’ve ever laid eyes on. But also he was your best friend. An old married couple is what George labeled you both and he wasn’t wrong, the pair of you did have a bit of a domestic life together when he wasn’t busy being a rockstar. 

I think the fans would be shocked to find out he likes doing the mundane things in life like doing the food shop with you and fighting at the tills that it was his turn to scan his club card. Or walking the dog, drinking a good cup of tea at his Mam’s house or cooking with you over a glass of wine with Donny Hathaway playing in the background on the record player.

He had done so much for you over the years and you always thought it was just Matty being Matty and looking out for you. Hiring you as the band’s assistant, so you could see the world with them so you weren’t stuck in a stuffy office job in England. Even though you had graduated from uni with a first class degree in photography. Moving you into his home when you broke up with your long term boyfriend in 2020 so you weren’t wallowing in self pity. It was probably then, that George cemented your “marriage status” because you did do everything together and apparently you had been oblivious your entire friendship until now.

It was in this moment in Belfast on the last night of the UK tour that your head swimming with all of the moments in your life that led you to here with Matty, tears brimmed with tears. That you realised that it was him the entire time.

April 2007

You pulled the front of the white tank top you were wearing down, allowing the frilly cups of your red bra to peek out the top. Your top tucked into a short black mini skirt, paired with a big chunky belt and hoop earrings and some wedged sandals on your feet. You actually felt good about yourself for once! You, Sarah and Rebecca ready to get drunk and dance your asses off with all of your friends as you celebrated Matty’s birthday.

Matty’s 18th birthday party was being held at his house. A classic Healy house party yet you still wondered how Denise and Tim were somehow trusting him enough for the night to not burn the house down so he could celebrate his birthday with his friends without parental supervision.

You of course had yet to turn eighteen, as had your brother who was only eleven months older than you. So you turned to your lord and saviour Adam Hann who went to the local off license and bought you a pack of Bacardi Breezers for the party.

When the three of you arrived; you immediately got swept away by your other school friends, giggling at the thought of getting drunk with all your friends and making out with boys your brother would definitely disapprove of was the motivation you needed to open your first drink of the evening.

It was after a few drinks, definitely too many shots of whatever George had proclaimed Matty’s Dad’s had left for the birthday boy. You were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol you had drunk that evening when you spotted Max. Tall, brunette, curly hair and a killer watt smile that made you weak at the knees, talking to George.

Silent motivation from Phoebe as she ruffled her hands through your hair and pushing your tits into a good position as Sarah dabbed on some more lip gloss before pushing you in the direction of the boys, slapping your ass with a quick “Go get him tiger!”

Shooting her a grin over your shoulder, you strutted on over to where George and Max stood clutching their beer bottles as they conversed about god knows what. Hoping to catch his attention, you threw on your best smile as you stopped in front of the two of them. 

“Hello boys!” You beamed a the two of them, eyes lingering on Max a little longer. “Having a good night?”  You asked, twiddling the straw around your drink as you waited for their answer.

“Even better now you’re here gorgeous!” 

Your heart fluttered for a moment. Max was flirting back.

“Your tits are looking mega tonight babe!” 

George broke your eye contact with the tall brunette as your eyes flitted towards him. The blush flushing across your cheeks at George’s compliment, “Ohhh thanks G!”  You laughed awkwardly, catching his eyes fall to your tits once more just as Ross walked past the three of you.

“Dude! That’s my sister!” He punched him in the arm; a scowl on his face and immediately pulling you away with him and far away from the boys and into the crowd of people dancing in Denise and Tim’s living room.

“You’re no fun!”  You huffed.

“You can do a lot better than Max sis. Believe me! I’m just looking out for you.” 

He smiled softly at you and you sighed, knowing you couldn’t ever stay mad at him. He knew you better than anyone else and always looked out for you no matter what. “Thanks bro.  I know. I’m just going to get some fresh air, it’s a bit stuffy in here.” 

You sent him a smile, squeezing past him and all the other sweaty bodies to head out the sliding doors at the back of Matty’s kitchen. Letting out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding as the cool spring air brushed over your skin. Taking in the serenity of the night air, you didn’t realise anyone else was out there until you heard a cough causing you to snap your head towards the noise.

Matty was leaning up against the back wall, cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Alright birthday boy! What you doing out here by yourself?” You laughed lightly as you approached; leaning next to him as you took in the slightly solemn look on his face.

“Bit overwhelming in there. Thought I’d like the attention but there’s too many people. Half of them are just here to get drunk, they don’t care about me.” He laughed bitterly; blowing smoke into the air. “Anyway. What are you doing out here?”

“Just needed some air. It was a bit stuffy in there. Too many people.”

“Ahhh so we’re alike in our thinking.” Matty laughed. “Wish it was just you and the boys to be honest.” He mumbled, shuffling his feet.

“Hey. You know if you want we can have a do over. Come over to mine and Ross’ tomorrow. We’ll order pizza and watch True Romance. I’d hate for you to not look back fondly at your 18th.”  You smiled softly as you spoke.

“You’re brilliant.” Matty’s eyes bright as he looked at you. “I’d really like that. Thanks sweetheart.”  Matty shot you a genuine smile for the first time since you stepped outside.

A brief moment of silence settled across the two of you before Matty spoke again.

“You look incredible tonight.”

“Ohhh.” You looked down at your feet, unsure of how to take the compliment.

“Hey.” Matty lifted your chin up. “What’s all that about? You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.” He said earnestly; swiping at the apples of your cheeks and holding your jaw in his hands.

“Just didn’t think anyone could look past the fact I’m Ross’ sister. Nobody ever calls me beautiful.”

“Not even Josh? Didn’t you date him for nearly a year?”  Matty asked as you shook your head.

“Then he’s an idiot. You’re always the most beautiful girl in the room darling.”

“Matty.” 

It came out a whisper as you both stared into each other’s brown eyes. Matty’s eyes dancing across your features, settling on your lips before looking back up and catching your gaze already on him. Matty leaned in, his face getting closer to your own as your mind started racing. 

Did you want to kiss Matty? Kinda, yeah! 

Should you kiss Matty? No, definitely not. Ross would kill the both of you. 

Did you kiss Matty? Yes.

“We shouldn’t.”  You whispered, lips mere inches away from his own.

“But a birthday kiss is all I want this year.” 

His words came out of a whisper, you didn’t say anything else just pushed your lips against his and allowed him to pull you closer as his mouth moved against the softness of your glossed lips. His hands moving from your face, dancing down the sides of your body and landing on your waist before he reluctantly pulled away, forehead resting against your own.

“You’re good at that.” He pecked your lips once more.

“Mmmm.”  You hummed; opening your eyes as Matty held you close. You quickly opened your mouth to say something and promptly shut it again when you caught the way Matty looked at you. “Fuck it!” You mumbled and slammed your lips back against his own.

The birthday boy now pushing you up against the wall, hands impossibly tight on your waist as he pulled you as physically close as possible. Your hands uprooting themselves in the hair at the back of his neck and tugging as you snogged him like your life depended on it. Like you weren’t pushed against the back of his kitchen wall in his garden, where any of your school friends could come out and catch you. Or worse; your brother but you didn’t care because the way Matty was kissing you made your whole body tingle.

Tugging his hair again as his tongue moved against your own. Matty groaned loudly; finally pulling away. “Fuck settle down! You know I can’t be found with you and if you keep doing that, someone is going hear us.” He groaned as he continued to pepper kisses up the side of your jaw.

“Hmmm, don’t feel like being murdered by my brother right now.”  You sighed; leaning back against the wall to take him in. Lips swollen and eyes bright as he watched you.

“I don’t want to be murdered by your brother either. Worst birthday ever!” He chuckled; hands dancing across your waist. “But that was my favourite birthday gift! Thanks sweetheart!” Matty grinned; watching you push yourself off the wall and smooth yourself down before heading back towards the house.

You paused for a moment; your foot on the last step, your hand lingering on the handle to the back door for a millisecond as you looked over your shoulder one last time at Matty who was just watching you. You sent him a soft smile, your hair falling in front of your face as you laughed before leaving him the dark as you rejoined the party.

A kiss with Matty who was your big brother’s (and your) annoying friend, someone you had an innocent schoolgirl crush on once he started becoming a tiny bit cool as the lead singer in their band. Something you didn’t think was an overly big deal, after all people kiss people they shouldn’t when they’re drunk all the time. Turns out it was the starting point of the trajectory of how your’s and Matty’s story begun.

March 2013

In the midst of releasing a series of EPs and gigging around the country and building up their hardcore fanbase. You had managed to get the boys all to just relax for a moment and celebrate the release of their Music for Cars EP and the fact that it was George’s 23rd birthday this weekend. And how did you celebrate? The only way you lot knew how, a dirty ole’ house party just like the good old days.

You had managed to squeeze God knows how many people in little flat you shared with George and Matty. As far as flatmate’s go, they weren’t all that bad. You had moved in with them straight after university so you had definitely had worse.

You had just downed what you believe was your fifth vodka shot of the evening and decided you needed to pace yourself a bit more if you weren’t going to stumble into your room and pass out any time soon. So upon spotting Ross, you wondered over to your brother who was sat talking to Hann; wiggling your way in between the two of them with a giggle. Ross automatically lifting his arm for you to slip under as you nursed the rest of your wine at a slower pace until your glass was empty.

After your head stopped spinning a sufficient amount, you found yourself milling about the flat and smuggling yourself into Matty’s embrace as he poured you another glass.

“Enjoying yourself sweetheart?” 

“Mmm. Have you see the birthday boy?” You felt Matty’s lips pressed to the top of your head as you asked.

“You leaving me already?”  He chuckled. “Think he popped out the back for a cig.” 

He motioned towards the back door. You immediately unravelled yourself from him, a kiss smacked against his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. Not that you noticed in your flurry but Matty did. The longing for the feeling of the two of you had shared in his back garden prickling at his chest as his eyes locked onto your retreating figure as you rushed through the throng of remaining people in the kitchen and exiting the flat.

Matty was right. You found George smoking out the back in your little tiny back garden under the dying glimmer of your shit security light that was attached to your back wall. Turning in your direction at the sound of the back door shutting, George automatically opened his arms for you to slot into his side, arm hung loosely over your shoulder as he let out the smoke he had just inhaled. Wordlessly placing the cig in your mouth to let you take a drag yourself, you passed it back and forth between the two of you in silence.

Stubbing the end into the brick, George dropped it into the bucket of dirty filters before breaking the silence. “God what time is it?”  He asked as you watched him push the balls of his hand into his eyes.

“Nearly 2am! Why you need to go to bed Grandad?!”

“Fucking maybe?! How many people are left?” The now blonde motioned towards the house.

“Only a few. Heard Sally talk about some of them heading into town on the way out and Luke and Helen have to be up early so they left nearly a hour ago. Just the band and about three other now. You ready to head in birthday boy?” You asked; holding out your hand for him to take with a smirk.

With a silent nod George didn’t hesitate to grab onto your hand as you tried not to trip over the many plant pots that were littered across your garden path. “You given me my birthday present yet? I can’t remember?” You turned to look at the drummer. An amused look on your face because he had given you the brightest smile when he had opened the personalised drumsticks you had gotten him earlier. “Or are you my present? Wait is this an ambush?” George gasped. “Please be an ambush!” He grinned at you.

“You should be so lucky!”  You scoffed; before shooting him a smirk as you opened the the kitchen door.

“Your tits look mega in that dress by the way!” His tone smug as he closed the kitchen door behind him. Your only response being the cackle that left your mouth as you left George to watch you walk away as you joined the rest of the band in the living room.

Lucky indeed because once the remaining guests left about twenty minutes later. You had snuck into George’s room to say good night and wish him a happy birthday and it’s how you found yourself currently with aching arms. As they were locked either side of George’s knees, his hands tight on your waist as you bounced on his cock.

You weren’t sure how long you had been in this position. You do know he had already made you cum twice though. Once on his tongue and once with his fingers but my God were you spiralling towards your third. The thick drag of his cock between your legs as he stretched you out was delicious but you needed to cum quick because you weren’t sure how long you could stay in this position for.

“Jesus Christ! So fucking good George!” You wailed; as George’s thumb swiped through the slick between your legs and rubbing at your clit.

“Feel good baby?”

“Yes. Shit! So good!” You panted. “Arms hurt though, fuck.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He said; pulling you forward.

You fell forward at full speed; having to catch yourself on either side of his face to stop yourself from head butting him as his large hands moved from your hips to grab on to the globes of your ass before plowing up into your cunt so fast you saw stars dance under your eyelids. All you could do was shake and babble out a string of, “So good. So good. So good.” As George made you cum again.

Pulling out quickly. You had no time to recover as George flipped you over; face already in his pillows as he pushed back into you as he chased his own orgasm. The drag of his cock made you feel delirious at the speed in which he was fucking you back into the mattress.

“Fucking hell. You’re so good G! Yes! Yes! Yes!”  You screamed into the mattress, really not caring that your mutual best friend was on the other side of the wall.

His name fell from your lips like a chant. You hadn’t been fucked this good in forever, if at all and the fact it was your Georgie made your head spin.

“Come on baby. One more and I’ll give it to you.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder before pulling you back on to his cock at rapid speed and sending you hurtling towards your fourth orgasm of the night (well morning) and George to fill you up with a satisfied groan.

Pulling out; your gentle giant rolled over, the pair of you catching your breath after fucking for a good hour. Rolling your head to the side to take him in, you pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder with a chuckle. “Happy Birthday G!” 

The now blonde let out a loud laugh as the pair of you snuggled into each other’s arms, like you would normally do under any other circumstances as George pressed a kiss to the side of your face. The temporary bliss shielding you both from the circumstances you’d have to face in the morning.

When you did manage to wake up the next morning, George was still fast asleep but his alarm clock read 10:12 and you knew you’d have to get up to tidy the flat because Matty certainly wouldn’t. As you looked around George’s room, you scrambled to find anything to hide your dignity as you moved around to clean up. As you pulled the shirt George was wearing the night before over your bare body, you didn’t have chance to register the other voices on the other side of the bedroom door.

“Where is she? She’s not answering her phone? She’s not in her room either.”

Matty didn’t answer Ross’s question, just grumbled into his arms before flinging himself down onto the dining room table dramatically.

“What’s the matter with you? You look like shit Healy!” Hann shoved his shoulder with a laugh as he threw himself on the sofa.

“Well you’d look like shit if you didn’t get any sleep cause you could hear George fucking at all hours of the night too.” Matty snapped at the two of them.

“Who was he shagging? I thought he wasn’t seeing that blonde anymore?”

Unfortunately for you, this was when you decided to make your grand appearance. Walking out of George’s room in nothing but his shirt and your knickers from the night before. The three of them silent as they took in your appearance.

Adam’s jaw slack as he looked on in shock as everything clicked into place before his very eyes.

Matty looked pained as he ran a hand through his curls before pushing himself up off the dining room table and shuffling into the kitchen, silently flicking the kettle on.

Ross looked angry. You could see it simmering in his eyes. The vein on his neck pulsing as he starred you down.

“I’ve been trying to ring you. Why were you in George’s room? ”

“I’ve been asleep. I’m here now aren’t I? Everything alright?” You brushed past him, trying to avoid talking about the inevitable. You hated when Ross was angry.

“Why do you have George’s shirt on?”

The two of you competed in a stare off. The both of you silent. Neither of you making the next move. If there was one thing you MacDonald siblings were, it was stubborn. Adam was watching on in anticipation. The only noise to be heard was Matty shuffling around the kitchen in the background. Your brother asked you again. Why was he asking you questions he didn’t want to know the answers to.

“Don’t make me say it bro.”  You sighed; annoyance flashing across his features.

“You slept with my best friend?”  Ross immediately started raising his voice. He already knew the answer, he didn’t need your confirmation. Not that he waited for it because he was already storming towards George’s room and right on queue, the door swung open to George just in his boxers.

“Ross. Stop!”  Your voice loud and going ignored.

“YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER?!”  

Ross was seething. Hann was immediately by your side ready to intervene. Matty still off and away from the drama (which was very unlike him) that was about to unfold. He was unlawfully quiet but you couldn’t think about that when Ross was squaring off with George in the doorway to your rooms. The shouting sounded like you were under water as you zoned it out. This was a disaster. It was only when Hann touching your arm, whispering if they should intervene or not that brought you back to reality and had you storming right in between the two giants.

Pushing your way in between them. You stood with your back against George’s chest, a hand on your brothers and looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Ross. Please. Fighting George isn’t going to solve anything.”

“You slept. With my sister. What about fucking bro code?! Not cool dude!”

“It was me.” You shouted over the top of his booming voice, all four of them turning to look at you as you very rarely raised your voice. “It was me. I initiated it. So if you’re going to be mad at someone, shout at me because it’s my fault.”

“Babe you don’t have to defend me.” George touched your shoulder gently. “I know, we shouldn’t have done it.”

“Don’t touch her!” Ross zoned in on George’s hands upon your shoulders. He quickly lifted them up in surrender.

“George, we’re both consenting adults.” You addressed him before turning back to your brother. “I’m sorry but if you’re going to sulk about it, blame me because I started it. Ross you know I love you more than anything in this world but you can’t hate everyone that goes near me.”  You reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. “It was literally a one night stand. Promise it won’t happen again.”

Ross tried to pull his hand out of yours at your words, the vein in his neck twitching at the fucked up thought of his little sister casually sleeping around. “I’m not fucking happy about it. Fucking bro code dude.” He threw his hands up dramatically before turning towards the door. “I’m going for some fresh air.” 

Ross quickly yanked open the front door, Hann hot on his tail, muttering something about checking on him which left you with Matty and George. The three of you standing in silence for a moment before George popped a kiss on top of your head and mumbling about a cig and heading out the back.

Matty disappeared again into the kitchen as you plonked yourself down at the dining room table with a groan. The ticking of the clock the only thing to be heard as the two of you were now the only ones left in your tiny flat. Sitting down next to you, Matty didn’t say anything. Just pushed a mug of coffee towards you and sipping his own.

“You don’t hate me do you? You haven’t said anything all morning.”

Matty took a sip of his coffee, a look of contemplation on his face as his eyes flitted towards you. The silence deafening and the thought of him being upset with you made your heart ache.

“You never offered me that on my birthday.”

You blinked rapidly as you stared at him. That was it. That’s what he chose to say.

Matty tried to say it with a joking lilt to his words. A smirk hiding behind his mug of coffee as you took in his words. But he knew deep down that there was a seriousness to it. It was true, you’ve never done anything with him other than when you kissed at his 18th, on his birthday or otherwise. Apart from one drunken weekend about two weeks later. He wasn’t sure why the thought made his heart pang. But it did. You opened your mouth to respond, quickly shutting it again as a flush rushed to your cheeks as you remembered the night in his garden five birthdays ago.

You let out a shaky laugh, not knowing what to say, shoving his shoulder playfully as you settled back into your chair, steaming coffee ready to be drunk.

“I don’t, you know.” 

You turned you head to curly haired man beside you confused at what he was saying. 

“I could never hate you.”

2014

You weren’t exactly sure where you were. What state you were in. What time it was or how much you and the band had to drink or what drugs Matty had taken tonight but you were fucking exhausted. You had been following your brother and your best friends around the world for the best part of just over a year, ‘acting’ like their personal assistant. 

You were essentially a glorified baby sitter for these four man children. You wouldn’t change it for the world though, you got to travel the world with your best friends and take cool photography in the cool cities you visited but it was all catching up to you. All whilst they were busy being rockstars, some more than others but that was a different story.

You wanted nothing more than to be in the dingy little flat you shared with Matty and George in Manchester, catching up on washing, going down to your local Sainsbury’s and doing the weekly shop. Anything that didn’t require going to bed post 3am.

But you were currently in a club in Atlanta or was it Nashville? You didn’t know but what you did know was that you were bloody tired and the thought of travelling on the tour bus to the next state with a hangover was genuinely about to send you into a downward spiral if you didn’t get yourself back to the hotel asap.

Tucked neatly underneath Hann’s arm, his arm loosely hanging over your shoulder as you rested your head upon his shoulder, you prayed for your brother to round up the other two quicker than he was because you were actually asleep standing up at this point. You didn’t think it was possible to be asleep with your eyes open but you were positive at this precise moment in time it was currently happening.

Ross finally reappeared with George in tow but there was no Matty trailing behind the two of them. You groaned loudly as you clapped eyes on the two of them. Ross looked defeated, tiredness set his eyes too. George smirked when he heard your groans.

“Not the usual type of groans you make when you see me baby.”

“I’ll punch you so hard before Ross even gets the chance to if you don’t shut the fuck up Daniel's. Where’s Healy?”  You huffed, scowling at the boy in front of you.

“Mumbled something incoherent before refusing to leave.” Your brother grumbled.

“Give me two minutes.” You sent Hann a soft smile, before removing yourself from the bubble the two of you’d created at the end of the bar before pushing your way through all the sweaty bodies until you found him trying to chat up some blonde model type near the DJ booth.

Gently placing your hand around his bicep to get his attention, his curls whipped in your direction to see who was touching him. The first thing you noticed apart from the bright grin he was now sporting were his dilated pupils. So he had taken coke again, brilliant. 

The sigh that left you so deeply rooted, you’re surprised he didn’t pick up on it. You hated the way it made him feel after the high was over.

“Hi darling! Hasn’t tonight been amazing? Wait where are the others? Can you believe your brother tried to make me to go back to the hotel? How sick was the gig tonight? Do you want to dance? Hey let me introduce you to…” He spoke at a hundred miles a hour as he spewed out utter nonsense, turning to realise the blonde he was chatting up was long gone.

You watched Matty’s shoulders sag, sad eyes now back on your own. “You fancy coming back with me? I’m dead on my feet and don’t really fancy nursing this inevitable hangover whilst being stuck on the tour bus for over six hours with you lot without at least four hours of decent sleep.”

“But I don’t want to go home yet.” He pouted.

“You come with me now, I’ll let you stay in my bunk tomorrow and I won’t complain about how clingy you are. Promise!”

“Like a sleepover?!”  Matty’s face lit up again.

“If you like, yeah!” You laughed at his childlike enthusiasm.

“Come on then, let’s go right now!” He started to drag you through the crowds. “I’m sharing with Ross tonight. I think he’d rather kill himself than watch you throw yourself at me!” 

“I don’t throw myself at you.” You laughed at the frown he was pulling at you.

“It’s been known to happen Healy! I don’t mind though. My bunk tomorrow. Pinky promise.”

“Tomorrow.”  Matty sent you a soft smile; his pinky looping around your own before you started to tug him back towards the boys. “I just want to clarify, I don’t throw myself at you I just like lying on your tits is all!” He said, pulling a laugh out of you as you approached the rest of the band. Your brother already leading the troops out the club as he saw your approach, eager to get out of there and into bed.

You had currently been on the road from Atlanta to Raleigh, North Carolina for the past two hours and the hangover was showing no signs of disappearing. You had already watched half a season of The Office with Hann and had taken a half arsed nap with Ross but it was hard trying to sleep in the lounge, when your head was knocking off his shoulder every time the bus hit a pot hole.

Not to mention; if Matty made one more fucking sound, you were absolutely positive one of you was going to throw him out the window. It was a toss up between you and Hann, whoever got to him first I suppose. But he was getting on your last nerve. He was annoying at the best of times but there was something about his come down today that was irritating you to no fucking end. He so much as breathed too loudly and it was sending you spiralling into deep pit of annoyance.

You and the band were up back in the lounge area, some Adam Sandler movie playing quietly in the back ground that you were pretty sure none of them were even paying attention to. When Matty threw his phone across the bus, swearing something incoherent under his breath and it was the last straw.

Standing up abruptly, you managed to startle both Ross and Hann at the speed in which you moved. Pulling down George’s hoodie that you had stolen, so it covered more of your ass over the pair of gym shorts you had on. You turned back towards your brother and Adam, irritation etched across your features, scowling at Matty as you eyed him out of your peripheral, as he moped about next to George. 

Just the image of him, made you want to roll your eyes.

“I’m going to my bunk before I fucking throttle him!”  

You sent them both a sarcastic smile before storming off to your bunk. You can’t have been there ten minutes before your peace was interrupted by Matty who was peering around the curtain and asking if he can join you. You let out a big sigh before silently nodding your head as he lumbered on into the small space.

Immediately wrapping his arms around your waist; his head found home upon your chest just like it always did when he wanted a cuddle. Your hand that was wrapped around him made its way up to his head, where it settled in his curls, finger tips running across his scalp. The sound of his soft sighs automatically calming down the irritation that had been bubbling inside you since he had awoken this morning.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you had been lying there in silence. You only broke the silence when the coldness of Matty’s fingertips slipped underneath your hoodie to touch the warmth of your skin. His thumb rubbing circles across the softness of your hips as he snuggled further into your tits as one of his legs started pushing its way in between your own as he got comfy.

“Matty?” Your voice gentle as you tried to get his attention.

“You said you wouldn’t complain.” His voice muffled as he spoke into your covered breasts.

“Your fingers are fucking freezing that’s all.” Your chest vibrated with laughter.

“Sorry sweetheart” Matty moved the slightest bit, to kiss the underside of your chin before snuggling back into the warmth of your hoodie.

“I don’t mean to, you know?”  He whispered softly.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t mean to make you angry.” 

His voice was barely above a whisper, that you nearly missed it.

“I’m not angry. Why would you think I’m angry at you?”

“You looked like you’d rather die than be anywhere near me before.” The hand that was weaving through his curls stopped. “I hated it. Hated that you looked at me like that. Made me feel even more shit than I already do.”

“Healy look at me.” Matty didn’t move a muscle, head still tucked underneath your chin, no effort in moving at all at your words.

“Babe. Look at me.” Your voice more stern, wiggling away from his grip so you could look down at him properly. “I could never hate you. Ever.” Your eyes flitted across his features, hardened by the late nights on tour and the hardcore partying. “I hate what that stuff does to you. I would never stop you from having fun but when you do that stuff, I hate how it makes you hate yourself the next day. I don’t want you doing something you’re going to regret because believe it or not Healy. I’m quite fond of you and I don’t think my heart could take it if something happened to you. Neither would my brother’s or Hann’s or George’s. We love you a stupid amount you know.”

Matty blinked at you as he took in your words, his brown eyes glossing over before shoving his face into you neck, the grip around your waist becoming impossibly tighter. Your body shaking as his vibrated against yours, soft sobs leaving him as he chanted; “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Over and over again.

All you could do was hold him closer and reassure him, that he had nothing to be sorry for and you were just looking out for him because anything else, you were afraid it might break you and you’d cry too. As your best friend was breaking his heart and wetting the hoodie you were wearing.

“Don’t apologise for having fun. I just want you to be careful. All I ever want is for you to be okay and sometimes what you do with all those people you don’t know isn’t good for you sweetheart.”

You squeezed him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. As he mumbled how “I’ll be better, I promise” into your neck, pressing multiple kisses in quick succession to just under the right side of your jaw before settling back into silence where the two of stay for some time.

The soft regular movement of Matty’s thumb rubbing circles on your hip stopped, his hand significantly less colder than they were before he had them up your hoodie, moved across the expanse of your lower back and rolling you over so you were now draped over him instead and tucked into his side. 

“You know sometimes I feel the only time I might get better is when we are together. You ever feel like that?”

It was now your turn to nod silently, a soft hum leaving your mouth as you pressed a quick kiss into his skin as you settled into a slumber.

2017

You had been pottering about your flat most of the morning, doing a deep clean of the place before you were supposed to be heading to meet the boys for Sunday dinner. Your boyfriend of nearly a year Michael, once again opting out of spending time with you and your family, claiming he had better things to be doing that sitting about and listening to the boys talk about what they had been getting up to in the studio again.

Personally you think it was because George let slip last time Michael could actually be bothered to join you all for a drink, that he had slept with you in a drunken ramble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend, your brother and yourself. And Michael didn’t take too fondly to the fact you were still close with George after the confession.

You were in the middle of folding the last bit of the washing that you had dumped on your bed when your phone pinged with a text from Hann.

‘Did you get a letter in the post this week? x’

‘I get a lot of stuff in the post Ads! Off who? x’

‘Matty x’

The moment you saw his name, your heart got stuck in your throat. None of you had heard from him since he he had left, something to do with his recovery. So the thought of contact from him had you dropping your phone on the bed and rushing from your room, shouting at Michael about the post you had received this week. Only receiving a mumble from him about the fire place; had you dashing to the living room, where you rifled through the post sat on top of the mantelpiece. 

There slotted in between this months Rolling Stone subscription and a local take away menu was a white envelope addressed to you. 

A Barbados post mark sitting in the top right corner.

Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffee table, you rushed back to your bedroom, locking the door immediately before sitting at the edge of your bed and taking in Matty’s scrawl of a penmanship. Running your fingers over the ink; your mind flashed back to that day. 

The day you realised he wasn’t okay. 

How completely out of it he was as you watched him at their last festival gig of the iliwys tour cycle. How utterly miserable he looked as he threw himself about the stage, looking just the shadow of the man you knew and loved.

You knew something wasn’t right as you watched from the side of stage with their manager Jamie. George ever the professional, had even broke his concentration bubble to catch your eye several times during their festival set, worry set in his features. 

The way your gentle giant walked straight up to you, stopped in front of you and just by the look in your eyes. Your face never one to hide your emotions. George wrapped his arm around you and without a single word, the pair of you knew you had to speak to the other boys about it. You needed to talk to him.

The night of the intervention. The way he screamed and shouted at you all. He admitted to using but he didn’t do it quietly. The way Ross stepped in front of you in defence when he swore at you. Hann’s hand wrapped tightly around your own, George’s hand squeezing your shoulder in support as your brown eyes glossed over as you took in the man in front of you. He wasn’t your Matty and you hated looking at him like this. 

You didn’t want to look at him at all and it broke your heart.

Slipping your finger into the envelope you finally tore it open, slipping out several pages of paper. You weren’t sure how long you were holding them before you actually unfolded them but it felt like a lifetime of contemplating before you managed to finally take a deep breath and compose yourself enough to read his words.

‘Darling,

As part of my recovery, I’ve been tasked to write a letter to everyone I’ve hurt and yours is the last one I’ve got to write. Not because you mean the least to me. Quite the opposite. Yours has been the hardest to write. Harder than Gabby. My Mam, Dad & Louis & the boys because you mean the absolute world to me. 

This is actually the third time I’ve attempted to write this. Admitting that I’ve hurt you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You know what I’m like, I’m a stubborn twat at the best of times but I needed to do this because you deserve this apology probably the most.

You’ve never once judged me and the fucked up things I do when I’m on one. Since we were kids you’ve stuck by my side, defended me when I really didn’t deserve it and loved me endlessly from the sidelines and I’ve definitely not deserved your love but you gave me it anyway.

Do you remember that time we were on tour in 2014 and I was fucked up on coke for god knows how many days in a row and you couldn’t even be in the same room as me that day on the bus when I was on that god awful come down on the way to North Carolina?

Yet you still didn’t say no when I selfishly came crawling to your bunk to interrupt your peace and quiet with my tail between my legs, asking to come lie with you. You could have told me to piss off but you didn’t, you let me squish myself into your bunk and your arms and let me sleep off my hangover in your arms without complaining once. I would have complained but you didn’t, you let me and my cold hands snake their way into your personal space like I hadn’t gotten on your last nerve just ten minutes prior. 

I’m quite a selfish person. You my darling are the most selfless person I know and I don’t deserve the good grace you’ve given me time and time again. Especially seeing as I dragged you along for the ride and then you’ve had to babysit me because I can’t control myself when it comes to drugs and showing off because I want everyone to like me.

You could have taken the tough love route, told me I’m a big fuck up and judged me for my drug use and tried to get me to stop (which probably would have have had the opposite effect out of defiance) but you didn’t. You silently kept an eye on me and made sure I didn’t end up killing myself. Until I took it too far.

I’ve seen you look at me with distaste over the years. Yet nothing compares to the way you looked at me that day you guys staged your intervention. I didn’t think you guys had noticed. I thought me and Miss H had this great big secret going on and I didn’t want to let any of you guys in on it because it would ruin what we had.

Yet you know me better than anyone. You and George both just knew that day. Of course you did. You’re my best friends. But you don’t know how happy I am the four of you staged that intervention and told me I needed to get my shit together.

When I think about the way I lashed out at you. The way your big brown eyes that usually sparkle with mischief when we’re with each other, glossed over as you just stood and took it and didn’t even raise your voice at me once. I can feel the lump in my throat tighten as I write this.

I deserved it you know. I deserved whatever fury was bubbling inside you because I was a class A cunt that day! I’m truly surprised Ross didn’t knock my head off and I wouldn’t have blamed him either if he had done!

I’m just so glad you did something because the thought of losing every single one of you shatters my soul so much, I would cease to exist without you.

I could sit here and write down the list of all things I’m sorry for but physically we don’t have the time or enough paper! But you should know that I am.

I’m sorry. 

For everything.

I’m doing okay. The best I’ve been in a long time. The only way being here might get better is if you were here too.

I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I’m begging for it because the thought of you hating me and not being able to trust me anymore kills me.

You really an angel on this earth.

I don’t deserve you.

I love you.

Yours Matthew x

p.s I cannot wait to be reunited with your tits! I’ve missed them!

You let out a chortled laugh as you read through the last line of the letter. Your hands quickly making their way to your face as you wiped the tears that were streaming from your face. The cuffs of your hoodie wet from where you’ve tried to stop the flow of tears. Pressing the letter to your chest, you took a few deep breaths to try compose yourself before you left the confinements of your bedroom.

Hurriedly shoving the letter into your handbag, so there was no chance Michael could stumble across your letter. He didn’t like Matty as it was, you didn’t want to give him ammunition to say anything. You grabbed your car keys and rushed out of the house without a word to your boyfriend and heading straight to Hann’s.

2020

You had broken up with Michael.

The red flags should have been there from the start really. He always had less than nice words to say about you and your relationships with the boys. He didn’t have a lot of nice things to say in general but you were blinded by love and the man he was when you first met that you didn’t see the red flags being waved right in front of your face until your heart (and self confidence) were already broken.

Your brother didn’t like Michael, he thought there was something off about him from the off but you put it down to Ross doing his job as your big brother but his opinion didn’t waver once in the four years you were together. George never liked how possessive he was and the fact he became even more so and tried to stop you from speaking to him after he found out about your night together. Which just fyi happened three years prior to meeting him, so he (everyone) was flabbergasted as to why he was so bothered! Hann. Your sweet angel of a bestie had even voiced how he didn’t like him and he was never one to be rude which should have also been a clue you were dating a dickhead.

Then there was Matty. Matty hated him. The feelings were mutual. Michael had told you plenty of times over your four years together that he hated your best friend but he would never tell you why. Matty told you it was because ‘he was a twat who didn’t deserve you’. You were obliged to agree because that mother fucker cheated on you!

Multiple women across the last two years of your relationship. 

To say you were stunned was an understatement yet it somehow made sense and fell into place so easily when you thought about it all. Yet that didn’t make it hurt any less. But a friend of yours sending you the evidence whilst you were on the last night of the UK tour was the final nail in the coffin that was your shitty relationship with him.

You weren’t sure who wanted to kill him more. Your brother? Matty? Or George? The three of them were raging amongst one another at their after party which should have been a celebration whilst Hann sat with his arms wrapped around you as you cried to him and Carly. You didn’t think anything would make you feel better apart from getting obliterated with your favourite people and forgetting about Michael and the impending doom that was about to be bestowed upon the entire world.

Matty was your saving grace.

Asked you to move in, without even hesitating. Naturally you said yes, sitting in your flat all by yourself whilst you cried over your douchebag of an ex during lockdown did not sound appealing to you. It was giving ‘Emma Pilssbury crying to Celine Dion in her car from Glee’ and you weren’t quite ready to hit that stage of your breakup depression just yet.

Two weeks turned into two months and then four months of lockdown but quite frankly you had never been happier. Living with Matty again, surprisingly was just as good the second time round if not easier. Except this time you weren’t poor, your kitchen roof wasn’t leaking and there was a 95% less drug taking which made your life a whole lot less stressful.

It was just easy with him. At some point whilst the world stood still, Matty and Tahliah broke up and then it really just was you two; doing your washing, fighting over who’s turn it was to use their club card during the weekly shop at Tesco and raising his (both of your’s) new dog, Mayhem.

The two of you had been getting ready to move into a studio tomorrow with George after four months of just the two of you playing house, the pair of them just itching to get back to work. You were aware that Matty had been writing already but you knew it would be full steam now Notes had been released and you wanted to make use of the time you had left just the two of you.

Only because you knew as soon as you got your hands on George. That was it! Not a chance Matty was getting any attention. You had missed your big friendly giant more than anything and you knew from your FaceTime with him last night whilst you couldn’t sleep that he was more than excited to see you too.

All three of you were sunbathing in the garden. Mayhem by your side as the two of you soaked up some much needed sun. The heatwave the UK was currently in the middle of was doing wonders for your skin. You had been lying in silence for the past thirty minutes, a book covering your face to block out the sun as you tried to read. Matty’s head in your lap as you presumed he was napping when you suddenly felt him turn over in your lap, now on his side and looking up at you.

Lifting the book ever so slightly, so you could peek underneath at him, you cocked an eyebrow as he watched you with a gentle gaze. “Yes?” Your tone rich with sarcasm as you stared back at him. “Anything actually going through that pretty head of yours Healy? What you thinking about?”

“Us.”

“Us?” You laughed. “What about us?”

“You remember my eighteenth birthday?”  He asked; peering up at you with a soft smile.

“The party?” Matty nodded. “I remember Ross stopping me from getting with Max! Remember him? I was gutted!”  You laughed. “Why?”

“You know that’s not what I meant?” Matty frowned slightly as he pouted at you.

“Of course I do.” You put your book down, your hands automatically reaching for what was left of his curls,“What about it?”

“You ever think about it?”

“Sometimes. Think we’ve done a fantastic job at keeping it from my brother! Especially with your big gob!”  You smiled down at him as you ran your hand through his curls gently.

“Funny!”  He sent a glare your way, causing you to laugh loudly at his attempt to be intimidating. 

“What’s got you thinking about that kiss from a million years ago anyway?”

“Wanking material.” He somehow managed to say without cracking smile.

It was your turn to shoot him a glare at his crudeness. It wasn’t long though until he was grinning up at you from his place in your lap. You pushed his head away from you in fake annoyance. God you couldn’t stand him sometimes!

“Ohh come on darling. I hear you sometimes! We all do it, you’ve got to think of something!” Matty tried to lighten the mood.

“Yeah I think about G’s 23rd birthday.” You smirked. Your vibrator was good but it wasn’t George. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good orgasm and thinking it might have been before Michael makes you want to cry. Your confession/kind of a joke caused the grin to fall from his face and you almost felt bad, knowing he doesn’t want to hear about the incredible night you had with George because if anyone asked him, he absolutely did not want to relive it.

“I’m joking!” Your hand reached for his curls again. “Seriously though, what’s got you reminiscing about it. It’s been a long time.”

“Just thinking about how much I love you is all.” His confession made you stop. “What would have happened if we’d said fuck it and we ended up together.”

“I don’t think Ross would have been too happy. You saw how mad he got about G!”  You laughed nervously as you thought about stopping your brother from knocking his band mate out.

“He’d have gotten over it.” Matty was now leaning up on his arms, leaning forward to press a light kiss to your bikini clad torso before pressing several kisses in quick succession up your stomach until he was hovering over your chest and looking down at your face. “If we were happy, he’d have been happy. You know he would have been.”

His actions made you hold your breath. It being strangely intimate and probably the most intimate you’d been since you were teenagers. You wondered if he was actually going to kiss you again but he just looked down at you fondly.

“You know I’d do anything for you right?”  You nodded. “You’re one of the only people who makes me truly happy.  I’d literally go too far just you have you near. I’d go blind just to see you!”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatics of his statement but the sweet sentiment made you smile, you reached up to hold the side of his face in your hands. Your thumb sweeping over the apple of his left cheek. The pair of you just basking in the warmth of the sun and each other. Unsure how long you hadn’t said anything, Matty broke the silence in the most Matty way.

“Literally anything you need. I’ve got you for life sweetheart. A cuppa? A joint? An orgasm? I’m your man!” 

A chortle left your mouth as he cheekily beamed down at you, waiting for what he knew would be a somewhat sarcastic response. He didn’t realise he’d really set himself up for what you were about to say.

“Don’t worry I’m good. I’m seeing G tomorrow!”

The way his eyes narrowed at you made you cackle even louder as he finally jumped up off you, to walk back inside without another word. “I’m sorry!”  You laughed. “I promise not to shag George when I see him. I’m good with my vibrator I promise!”  You manage to sputter out through your laughter. “Stick the kettle on whilst you’re in there love.”  You shouted after him.

Matty threw you the middle finger over his shoulder which made you laugh even more as he went though the back door, Mayhem hot on his heels; knowing fine well he was going to put the kettle on and make you a brew just how you liked it because for as long as he can remember he’s never been able to say no to you and he didn’t think he’d ever will.

2023

The 1975 in Show and Concert was possibly your favourite tour that you’d been apart of with the boys. There was an accumulative of factors; the fact you weren’t the only girl on tour this time round, Carly had joined Adam with their son and Charli had come to as many shows as her own schedule permitted. You also had a little part to play at Matthew’s request (obviously!) donned in a white lab coat, you brought Matty a hot honey and lemon on stage every night and pottered about with the rest of the crew, making sure your brother and the rest of the band were all good before slipping off to watch the rest of the show from backstage.

Or it could have been that you and Matty were closer than ever. Ever since lockdown and the pair of you had been living together, everything seemed so simple that since restrictions were lifted, you just carried on living together. I think when George removed the last box of things from your old flat to take to Matty’s did it for him, that he just shook his head with a laugh. 

“You guys really are an old married couple!” He chuckled; slamming the boot close and jumping in the car before you could get a word in edgeways.

He wasn’t wrong, you guys did essentially everything together apart from have sex. Not that you hadn’t thought about it. Somewhere between moving into the studio with him and George and then your brother and Hann joining them to start recording their fifth studio album. You hadn’t shagged anyone in over a year and there was only so many times you could use your vibrator before you got bored and there wasn’t a cat’s chance in hell you were ordering a new toy to the studio because Matty didn’t have boundaries and absolutely would have opened it before you could even get the chance to get your hands on it.

You had also promised after day one; after one too many jokes and essentially mounting George at any given moment just to have him near you that you wouldn’t sleep with him. Even though a repeat of his birthday from seven years prior was literally so so temping to you! So what the hell were you going to do? The thought of dating apps made you want to vomit and hanging about bars really didn’t seem that appealing.

But Matty being Matty; was being overly affectionate one night after one too many glasses of red after a show, had the two of you giggling like teenagers and wondering if the two of you had gotten better at kissing since Matty’s 18th. Curiosity getting the better of the both of you, had you surging towards one another in a flurry of horniness after the kiss, was how you found yourself straddling his lap and snogging him like your life depended on it! Until you physically had to pull away to get your breath back and a rush of sense flashed through your brain. The two of you went to bed separately.

Neither of you spoke about it again.

Nor did you ever think about how the two of you were always drawn to each other no matter what shit storm was going on around you until now. You were just tying up the end of the UK leg of the tour, you and the band were in Ireland and Jamie had just told you that *The Scum* were running a horrendous article about Matty. This had in turn resulted in an argument after their penultimate show between the boys. 

You knew he did things in the heat of the moment whilst he’s on stage or says shit without thinking and it comes to bite him in the arse almost every time but he’d never do what they’re accusing him of on purpose.

But seeing your brother hurt by Matty’s stupid actions; the repercussions for not just himself but for the rest of the band, your brother, yourself just by association. It was enough for you to step in, in defence of your brother. He came before everyone else, every single time.

This you didn’t realise; had as big of an effect until you were stood frozen on stage in front of your brother, Matty in between you and Ross. Apologising to him, crying in front of thousands of people. How Ross hadn’t broke the facade and took him in his arms was beyond you because your brother’s face was currently blurry to you and he was stood a foot in front of you. Tears filled your brown eyes and were threatening to spill as Matty let his vulnerable side show in front of everyone. Something he never does.

You had done so well until he apologised once more; removing his hand from Ross’s arm and reaching behind him blindly to grab on to you. The tears automatically fell; the action enough to make Ross twitch in an ache to comfort you. Something he couldn’t do until the band had come off stage at the end of consumption.

After the final song of tour; the boys usually head on out for the after party. Tonight you had Matty back at the hotel in your room on his knees and begging for you. 

Begging for you to not leave him. Begging for you not to move out. Begging for you to stay by his side. Begging for you to still love him.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked down at the man in front of you; on his knees as his hands grasped at your legs, pulling you close as he hugged you as physically close as possible as he sobbed against your legs. Instinctively you reached for his curls, running your fingers through them softly.

“Baby. Look at me.” The softness of his curls tickled your thighs as he stayed pressed against you. “Matthew. Darling look at me.” 

You managed to loosen his grip enough to slide down on to your knees in front of him, taking a hold of his face in your hands as you eyes flitted across his face, smiling softly at him as he tried to calm himself down.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose any of you.” He shook his head, curls flying in front of his face. “But I can’t lose you darling. I can’t.”

“Matthew. Look at me. Why do you think you’re going to lose me? You’re never going to lose me. You’re kinda stuck with me!” You laughed. “And even if I decided to fuck off, my brother being your bassist kind of means I’m stuck with you anyway.” The grip on his face got tighter as his hands reached up to hold on to your wrists.

“But last night…”

“Ross and I just want you to use your brain sometimes before you do stupid shit! You’ve not lost either of us. I promise.”

“Promise?”

Your heart jumped into your throat at the swell of tears in his eyes and his lip quiver.

“Life. That’s how long you’ve got me for Healy. Promise.” As soon as you stopped speaking; Matty threw himself at you, arms around your neck and squeezing you so tightly you nearly stopped breathing. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you” Being repeated in your ear over and over as you squeezed him back, pressing your lips to the side of his face in consecutive kisses until he abruptly pulled away. Eyes red and looking at you so softly you thought he was going to cry again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. You know I do.” You smiled at him warmly.

“No. It’s always been you.” He said as he reached for your hands and it felt like you had been hit in the chest. The sting of tears trickling up your face and threatening to fill your eyes as you silently took him in. You went to open your mouth but nothing came out.

“I know I always talk too much but just listen to me. I love you. Since we were kids I reckon, I was just too chicken to ever do anything.  When you kissed me on my 18th birthday. When you saw I needed help,  you saved my life sending me to rehab. Every day, I thought about getting home to you.  It’s what got me through every day. You make me a better man darling. When you take my shit when I don’t deserve it. When you make me a brew in the morning just how I like it. When you roll me a joint when you realise I’m too tense and in my head without me even having to ask. When you tell me to shut the fuck up before a situation escalates. When we go to big Tesco and walk the dog or do all the washing together. I fucking live for that shit because it’s with you. Fuck I’ve been writing songs about you for the past decade! You are intertwined with every era of this band sweetheart. I mean 60% of the last album is about you! ” He chuckled softly.

“What?” Managed to escape you in a gasp.

“Come on sweetheart. Some of this music has literally been out for ten years!”

“I - Just never - Why have you never said anything before now?” Your voice horse with frustration.

“I love your brother too much. But thinking I’d lost the two of you, just made me think fuck it. You deserve to know. You need to know.” Matty shrugged casually.

“That’s stupid.” Your deadpan tone, stunning him silent.

“Sorry?”

“Wasn’t it you that said to me that if Ross knew I was happy. That we were happy he wouldn’t care. He’d have gotten over it? And you’ve just subliminally been telling me you love me through music this entire time?”

“Yes?” 

You cocked an eyebrow at his hesitation, the questioning tone as your eyes flit across his handsome features. Cheeks tinged with pink due to his tears, his chest falling up and down rapidly at his confession as he awaited you answer. You still didn’t say anything, thinking about how to respond until you found the perfect response.

Surging forward you pushed your lips against Matty’s. Hands reaching for the curls you loved so much. Waiting for him to reciprocate felt like a life time but your Matthew was well equipped in the art of kissing you back so realistically it was 0.2 seconds after he had gotten over the shock.

You kissed him over and over again, not wanting to stop the feeling of how your lips moved against his, how his tongue felt against yours. You felt like you were on fire, he was intoxicating. He always was but fuck was he more than ever. Finally finding the strength to untangle yourself from him, chests heaving as you both got oxygen back in your lungs you said the words, the way he’d been wishing to hear for the past sixteen years.

“I love you too.”

When he was finally seen in public two days later on the eve of their Gorilla gig in Manchester. The fans noticed Matty was in higher spirits than he had been two days prior when his breakdown was caught on camera. You had been nervous to tell your brother but Ross claimed he already knew Matty was in love with you, he was just waiting to see if he’d actually grow some balls or not! Then he hugged you so tightly and whispered he was happy for the both of you, which in turn had you and Matty crying backstage in their green room as you found yourself in a 1975 sandwich! 

You don’t think you had seen Matty look so happy on stage in a long time. He loved touring but it was gruelling but seeing him on stage in this tiny venue with his best friends and his girl watching and waiting for him side stage. He couldn’t stop beaming. The fans noticed, the comments already flying in online about him. They increased tenfold when he jumped offstage, not waiting the ten second walk backstage before kissing you like his life depended on it.

The blurry picture of Matty holding your jaw in his hands as he kissed you in the shadows of the stage was on a 1975 update account within minutes.

Captioned: If you know you know. Finally 🖤

You were obliged to agree.

#Matty Healy #matty healy imagine #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy x you #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fic #the 1975 x reader #George Daniel #george daniel imagine #Adam Hann #adam hann imagine #Ross MacDonald #ross macdonald imagine

[pinkbrries]

JUNE’S CELEBRITY CRUSHES

june’s masterlist

MIN YOONGI — BTS ♡

*pretends to be shocked*

june talks more about yoongi than she talks about jungkook😭 and that’s her WHOLE BEST FRIEND

minjun has had this crush since she met yoongi for the first time. she always thought he was so cool and handsome, and he was always really kind with her everytime she saw him

someone asking her ideal type? watch her reply with “suga sunbaenim” in a heartbeat. not even a single ounce of doubt in her voice

imagine little june meeting rookie yoongi being all cool and kind, she was like 🥰 oppa is so cool

he’s like ‘that best friend of your older brother (aka jungkook) you have a crush on’ kinda thing

she loves the rap line, but for her? min yoongi is such an awesome person🫶 (hobi is lowkey resentful it’s not him😕 JZKSJS)

yoongi knows about this crush tho, and he finds it funny and adorable lol

jungkook is always teasing june about it, but does she care? no❤️

NAM JOOHYUK — ACTOR ♡

okay but can you BLAME HER??? LOOK AT THIS MAN!🫶

she saw him for the first on ‘moon lovers’ and she was all ❤️_❤️

listen, she’s a simple woman: she sees an amazing actor with amazing visuals? she’s sold

she even had him as her lockscreen😭😭 dating rumors were made up and she literally turned live just to show everyone her lockscreen like 🧍‍♀️📱”this is nam joohyuk sunbaenim??? wish he was my bf tho

nam joohyuk is her favorite actor, she hopes she can meet him in some near future

let’s hope for the best minjunnie🤞

KIM HONGJOONG — ATEEZ ♡

oh man… she developed a crush back during her mixnine era

she was like ?? hello??? he’s so talented and attractive???

she tried befriending him back then but he was so shy and kinda quiet,,,, so she just befriended jongho and wooyoung. she’s kinda acquaintances w him tho

when they debuted she sent all of them a congratulatory message, and she just became an atiny because !!!!! ateez is so COOL man🫶 (stan ateez for a better life)

again, she admires the rap line (bc mingi is so cool too<3 she met him through wooyoung lol) but for her? heart eyes for kim hongjoong❤️

LEE JIEUN — SOLOIST ♡

there’s something jungkook and june share beside being besties, and that’s their love for iu HEJWJS

she loves LOVES iu like fr, that’s one of her celebrity crushes and role models right there!!!

her first audition ever for sm was an iu song….. imagine for how long june has admired her omg

june is always playing iu’s songs whenever she has vlives or she talks about her songs whenever she has the chance. she’s always like !!! iu sunbaenim !!! an ICON!!!!

she legit cried when she got an autographed album by her (courtesy of yoongi when he worked with her<3 shootout to him. the only man ever!!)

she’d literally fight ANYONE that tries to come in contact with that damned album because it’s such a prized possession for her (sunghoon got biten because he tried to touch it… deserved)

she dreams of becoming a great producer or songwriter so maybe she could make a song with her in some near future, go follow your dreams my little june!!

JEON WONWOO — SEVENTEEN ♡

june has it bad for him since his pre-debut era

she was curious about ‘seventeen project’ back in 2015, and she just… fell in love with jeon wonwoo

LISTEN!!! she was like? 13-14 y/o and she was so mesmerized by every single svt member but for her, jeon wonwoo had something different

nonetheless to say, seventeen is one of her favorites groups and jeon wonwoo is one of her ultimate bias

she was the happiest when she had the opportunity to attend svt’s first japanese concert and she saw this dude

imagine little june holding a banner with wonwoo’s name on it to show her support😭 SOBBING BRB

she lowkey hopes she can become closer with him since they practice in the same building (and since some of the svt members have adopted june as their daughter already lol)

IM CHANGKYUN — MONSTA X ♡

okay, i think we have established something here: minjun has a thing for rappers and for people that joined survival shows

changkyun is no exception okay,,,, she would watch “no.mercy” but when she saw him joining mid-competition, she couldn’t help but feel bad abt him:// like WHY IS EVERYONE SO RUDE TO HIM?>:(

after he debuted, she was like !!!! deserved king !!!!

she loves his deep voice and the way he raps like 🧎‍♀️ he’s so talented bestie?? HELLO???

she finally met him during that midnight idol interview and she was so heart eyes😭 AND LITTLE GIGGLES AND STUFF HELP

she blushed so hard when he said that minjun was really pretty, watch stan twitter post the video and being “same june” JXKSJS

leave her ALONE! im changkyun is literally so attractive and kind and talented and 🫶🫶🫶 we love changkyun in this house

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @ateezjuliet @alixnsuperstxr @nvmbheart @sunflower-0180 @smh-anon @mingis-wrld (if you want to get added send me an ask or fill this form !!)

#kpop female addition #kpop added member #enhypen 8th member #enhypen addition #kpop addition #oc!idol #enhypen x oc #enhypen female addition #enhypen oc #enhypen female member #kpop female oc #kpop female member

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I won't pretend to totally understand what's going on with sm (other than that they seem to have shat the bed), but in terms of how hybe had tried to buy them earlier and how it's often accused of trying to be a monopoly, do you think there's a point where hybe could get too big in a way that's detrimental to the rest of the industry? Ik they're not literally a monopoly and that there are much smaller companies than hybe, sm, yg, and jyp (hybe is also small compared to the rest of the music industry) but do you think there's any truth in the anger at how big of a chunk of the kpop industry hybe controls or is it just jealousy at them outgrowing the original big 3?

***

I feel like you answer your own question within your ask… because if we think about it: as of January 26, 2024, HYBE’s market cap is ~55% more than the rest of the Big 4 combined. HYBE is itself a hub of ‘mid-sized k-pop companies’, one of which is BigHit, which drives roughly half of their topline. Meaning, the primary driver behind HYBE outperforming and dwarfing the better capitalized and more prestigious competition, is BTS.

It’s simply a fact that HYBE is the biggest company and BTS is the reason why. Like, it’s so obvious there’s no tactful way to highlight it. And it’s a fact it pisses off a lot of people here.

If you ever get into a conversation with a typical k-pop stan, before long, unprompted, they will tell you HYBE has no really, talented idols and that whatever prestige or talent the company has in vocals or dance, was technically bought by acquiring Pledis. It’s not particularly a big deal, just something funny I first noticed in k-pop discourse about 2 years ago, once the idea of HYBE, and Seventeen as a HYBE group, started settling in with k-pop stans.

The average k-pop stan doesn’t really know how to think about HYBE in general, because HYBE is structured nothing like the rest of the Big 4, from its ethos down to its operating mechanics, and so the points of reference k-pop stans have in the Big 3, don’t always apply to HYBE, in my opinion.

Anyway, yeah there’s this weird resentment that often manifests in the misplaced superiority complex you see in some stans of Big 3 groups. In a sense, I don’t blame them. It’s the nature of this industry for there to be a hierarchy. It’s sport after all. But like I’ve said, the politics this space creates is highly toxic, the tribalism is entrenched and the primary thing k-pop stans do in fandom is stoke unending feuds, and shit talk other groups and idols. Some groups are acceptable targets for everyone to dunk on. BTS from debut was designated as one such group, but from the jump it was clear they weren’t going to settle for anything less than the top spot. BTS wasn’t supposed to be the group, to breakout. They didn’t have k-pop approved vocals cred, they didn’t have the typical idol visuals, their rapline never went on Show Me The Money, so how could they be legit?

BTS was a group that did things their own way from the start and that by default pissed off a lot of people. Most of those people are still here. And because people are predictable, some of that latent dislike of BTS bleeds into everything connected with BTS and so, HYBE.

And, not to keep wacking this horse corpse, but I want to point out yet one more obvious thing.

When people talk about Big 3 privilege, something they’re talking about is the latent buy-in those three companies: SM, JYP, and YG will always enjoy in this space. Groups from those companies will always enjoy support from a sizeable army of company stans. SM entertainment has the most, followed by YG, then JYP. This is why Big 3 stans are the people who set the temperature for what dominates the chatter in k-pop. K-pop stans will always tune in to groups and releases from Big 3 companies and are generally pre-disposed to always giving their stuff a chance on the assumption their idols are more talented.

The size of those company stans dwarf the stans of smaller companies like Cube, KQ, Pledis, and until some years ago, BigHit Entertainment. Except for BTS and ARMYs, none of these companies have company stans big enough to rival Big 3 fandoms, and so the cache of these companies are seen as inferior to Big 3 agencies. And as HYBE is simply a collection of mid-sized companies (who on their own couldn’t stand a chance compared to the Big3), examples include: Pledis, Source Music, KOZ, Be:LIFT, ADOR, then the groups from HYBE are implicitly seen as less talented than their Big3 peers. Plus they get the additional ddaeng for being linked to BTS, specifically.

All of that felt very silly to type out but it’s what I’ve observed. Watching the logical conclusions of this political dynamic in k-pop fandoms play out in real time during the SM-HYBE-Kakao drama (1st season) was super fascinating lol. It confirmed practically everything I think about k-pop stans and BTS.

#bts #Hybe #bang pd #kpop industry #BigHit #kpop fandom #bts army #bts fandom #fandom behaviour #sm entertainment #kpop

[leehopehocarat]

You make my World Freeze 💙✨💫🫂

Chapter 1 | Mr. & Mrs. Tastebuds

When one of your names is said in conversation, a beaming smile is sure to follow on each of your faces...

You and Han Jisung are best friends, soulmates, the literal Ying to each other's Yang.

But could you be more than that.....

Synopsis: Sarice had moved to Korea to continue to pursue an education at one of the best Universities there. Like any other day, she walks into the local cafe to get her regular "unique" order. When it turns out, it's not just unique to you, but to The 4th Gen Ace himself, Han Jisung; who just so happened to be standing next to her taking his order at the same time as you. From there a friendship bloomed, but other feelings trickled in that may put a thorn in her relationship with him.

Sarice and Han Jisung

When one of their names are said by the other, or by someone else in conversation, a smile that beams brighter than actual light itself appears on each of their faces.

~~

I had moved to Korea years ago to start university and begin pursuing an education in Korean History and language. Growing up in a place like NYC, discovering new cultures was a norm. But my love for learning and my naturally inquistive nature led me to being fascinated with details about any culture, and what made it unique.

So I decided after gaining a degree in Anthropology, it was time to go global. And Korea was number 1 on my list.

Now, I have been a fan of K Pop since 2NE1. CL stole my heart and I wouldn't even attempt to try to get it back from her. Then there was Shinee, Big Bang, Girls Generation, 4 Minute...... the list goes on!

As of today, my Ult Groups are Stray Kids, BTS, Ateez, and Seventeen. I found each of these groups in times in my life where I truly felt it was destiny for me to find them when I did. And for that reason, they all hold special places in my heart.

~~

It was almost the end of my first year in uni. I was honestly expecting myself to struggle a lot, but I managed to pass my classes enough to keep my A- average!

I had gotten an earlier than usual start to my day to make sure I had a bit of extra time to just sit and chill at my new found favorite cafe. It's also conveniently a block away from campus, so it's a win win for me.

I walk inside the cafe and get hit with lavender, cinnamon, and ground coffee in my nostrils. I never get tired of feeling like I'm stepping into a quaint cottage with those scents in the air. Brick walls, stained cedar wood tile floors with matching tables and chairs, and an endless rotation of tropical plants. The cafe screams comfort corner, and it's why it's become my favorite.

I make my way to the cashier and am greeted by Lisa, who always somehow manages to be the one to be at the register when I come in the cafe and place my order. But I ain't complaining, cause I swear she put's magic in the Hazelnut Cold Brews when I order them. She's around my height (5'10"), an asymmetrical bob cut with a shego green color dye, and a slim built. She has a sweet and genuine smile, cause she really loves her job and it shows.

As if by a freak accident, as I'm telling my order to Lisa, a deep but soft voice says word for word my exact same order. It legit took me a moment to realize that my voice wasn't doubled but that there was someone next to me placing their order at the same time I was.

I stare bug eyed at Lisa and I was legit frozen. My social cues went out the window as my anxiety started kicking in. Lisa flashed a reassuring smile and gently motioned her head to the side, signaling for me to turn and look at whoever it was next to me. I took a shuddered deep breathe, and slowly turned to the left to get a look at who apparently, has the same taste in food as me. It was a man. Chocolate brown frays of hair were peeking out from under a black beanie. Black/Brown boba eyes that shined like the reflection of light off a creek in spring time. Cheeks that just made me want to pinch them, they were round and looked so soft (I didn't by the way, even though I REALLY wanted to). He wore an oversized, baggy, black distressed shirt, paired with baggy, flared bottom jeans, and chunky platform converse. My eyes made their way back up to his face, and I realized who I was standing in front of.

Han FUCKING Jisung!

1/3 of 3racha, the production, rapline and Ace of Stray Kids.

I was internally screaming!!

I didn't realize how zoned out I was until a small, deep toned chuckle left his lips.

"I-I I'm sorry. I-I just didn't t-think someone would have the same taste in coffee as me." I somehow manage to get those words out my lips, and I'm mentally slapping myself on the forehead for my stupid stuttering. My eyes went straight to the floor that I wish would just swallow me up at this point.

"Well......" He says with a pause. My head shoots up to see him looking at me with the warmest smile. "That just means we have superior taste buds." He had such a reassuring look in his eyes, that it melted away any bit of embarrasment that was settling in my body. With that, a small smile appears on my face.

"Well Mr. Superior Taste Buds......" I reach my hand over to grab my order from off the counter, that was actually sitting there ready for a few minutes already. "I have a bit of time to spare and would love to hear your take on food, care to join me?" My smile widens and I give him a wink. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK THE WINK CAME FROM, BUT A BITCH WAS BEING BOLD THAT DAY.

His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes slightly widen at my sudden showing of boldness. He was quite impressed and deep down inside thankful that she made the first move, cause his heart was RACING.

A small smirk comes across his face. Keeping eye contact with me, he reaches his hand out to pick up his order from the counter. "That would be nice, Mrs. Superior Taste Buds." He winks back at me and puts his hand out for me to grab it.

AXZVXBHEJHOESHVKJSGHR

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MRS.?!?!???!?!

With no hesitation, my hand finds it's way to his. As our palms touch, a warmth surged through my body and my cheeks felt hot. Now me being a black woman, I don't usually have a visible blush.

BUT BABY............ THIS MAN HAD ME MELTING

His thumb gently rubbed over my fingers and knuckles. "I'll take you to my favorite table to sit at." He turns towards the back of the cafe leading the way. I turn my head to quickly steal a look at Lisa who was SHOOK at what just happened in front of her eyes. "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS TOMORROW" she silently mouths to me, and I give her a quick thumbs up, turning my head and my attention back to Han.

~~

From that day at the cafe to 3 years later. I'm in my last year at university and best friends with Han Jisung.

Life has been nothing short of amazing, especially with gaining 7 brothers, aka the other members of Stray Kids. If I'm not hanging out with Han, I'm on facetime with Channie as he's in the studio and I'm studying, spamming Lee Know with Cat memes, roasting red carpet celebrity looks with I.N, having a personalized gym routine made by Changbin and having him occasionally join me in working out, trading obscure recipes with Felix and trying them out together, dance practice video calls with Hyunjin, and Seungmin volunteering himself to be my tutor while he tells me random Korean history facts. Needless to say, these boys have added so much to my life. But with that, there's a burden I've been carrying the whole time.

Han being an idol has its challenges, but we've created a system that still allows us to have quality time with each other. Today is one of the days where I get to chill with him in the studio. What he doesn't know is that I've surprised him with his favorite, his go to order from the cafe that we met at, along with a slice of chocolate cheesecake.

I make my way into the JYP building and greet the different staff members I bump into on the way to the floor the studio he's in is on. I finally make it to the elevator and immediately slump against the wall, a groan of a held in sigh leaves my mouth.

I've been in love with Han Jisung since we met in that damn cafe. It's grown into an overflowing bucket that always tries to make itself known when I'm around him, but I put a lid on it.

I really did try not to fall in love as quickly as I did but..... can you blame me?!?!?!

He laughs with his whole body but makes sure to land gentle touches on me when I'm sitting next to him during one of his laughing fits.

His eyes put fairy lights to shame, when he talks about anything he's passionate about. And it's always followed by deep conversations that I adore.

And he just always knows how I'm feeling; He's fucking psychic I swear!

He knows when to hold my hand, caress my cheek and brush strands of hair out of my face.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HIS HUGS!

Time stops whenever I'm in his arms. He's my safe place.

On nights like tonight, I usually just sit in silence in the background working on assignments, while he's working on a song. Being in silence together is probably one of my favorite things I do with him. But tonight, if there is silence after my plan of pouring out my heart to him..... then I hope to God the earth actually swallows me whole this time.

~~

Hey Guys!

This is my first time writing a story like this, and I'm honestly proud of myself for taking a step into trying something new for myself.

This story was inspired by a Character AI chat I actually have for Han, lol

I accept constructive criticism but rudeness will not be tolerated!

I hope you all enjoyed the story!

TAGLIST:

@adestayskz

@semi-semiisbae

@guqsnfics

#stray kids #kpop #skz #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung fanfic #original character #friendship #strangers to lovers #friends to lovers #han jisung x female reader #Han Jisung Idol #college student #University #college romance #hidden feelings

[kitkatopinions]

Nitpick Number Twelve for Nitpick November:

I know I've talked before about how weird and frustrating it is that the main character ages are included so rarely in RWBY that based on only what's in the show instead of word of author, it's hard to know how old even the main characters are in any given day. For example, as far as I know the first official mention of any age is Ruby being called fifteen years old in volume three in passing by a C-lister, so before season three nobody knew for sure how old people were and because I missed that one in passing line, I thought for ages that Ruby started the show at fourteen and that the others started the show at sixteen. And then, the timeline is done so badly and sloppily that two years pass between learning Ruby's official age in volume three and them being seventeen (in Ruby's case) and nineteen (in the case of the other older kids.) But I legit don't remember if that's confirmed in show or is just more word of author stuff, and since the timeline is so messed up, even the people who caught that Ruby was fifteen in volume three ran the risk of getting very confused and not assuming that there was such a long time gap between volume three's end and volume four's return, or between volume four's end of Team RNJR making it to Mistral in presumably summer time and volume five seeing Haven fall, which was followed by "two weeks" until they're all in the snow in volume six and it's presumably winter already. So yeah, main character ages have always been hard to pinpoint, but there was at least something to go on and some form of word of author.

The rest is mostly just guesswork and sometimes a few 'ideas' of authors or voice actors. Despite not really looking any older than Sun, Blake and Yang's VAs randomly came up with the headcanon that Adam was like twenty three or something when he died. The only guesstimate we have for the age of Ozpin is that he was the headmaster during STRQ era of school and if I remember correctly in Before the Dawn it mentions that the mid-forties Professor Theodore is older than he is? We can assume that Qrow, Tai, and Raven are at least forty (assuming that Raven had Yang after she left Beacon.) We have a guesstimate that Neo and Cinder are vaguely young, mid-twenties range, and I believe we have word of author confirmation that Winter is twenty six, while Whitley I believe had Miles Luna say he was 'anywhere between fourteen and sixteen,' and Oscar seems around the same age. And other schoolage characters such as Team SSSN, Team FNKI, and Emerald and Mercury are all at the very least in the age range of seventeen (at the start of the show) to twenty, and we can make guesses that they're all in the same year as Team RWBY (especially Merc and Emerald who were in one of Team RWBY's combat classes.) While Team CVFY are vaguely upperclassmen, but in Before the Dawn for whatever reason seem to be in the same year as Team SSSN, while Velvet has classes with Team RWBY as well, so you tell me.

The ages of Team RWBY and other main characters like JNOR matter, I wouldn't consider that a nitpick. But it IS a nitpick that I'm super annoyed that we're just supposed to guess with almost everyone else. I don't need everybody to have a confirmed age, but... the Ace Ops? Whitley? May? Ironwood? Neo? I want to know how old they're supposed to be!

#rwde #nitpick november #rwde nitpicks

[nancylou444]

Porn bots are the worst. In the last week, I've seen about seventeen of them in different tags that I follow and I almost blocked an actual new follower because I've gotten so many porn bots following me recently. I seriously thought that tumblr had gotten rid of them. Ugh.

Yeah the "purge" seems to only be towards legit blogs that got flagged for naked ARMS.

While the pornbots have multiplied like roaches. And they are just as hard to get rid of.

#anonymous #pornbots #tumblr issues

[haowrld]

🎶✨️when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

omg so it took me a while to write this down soo

— when i heard this for the first time. i was so astonished like wHAT IS THAT MELODY…it’s literally what I listen to when I’m in the feels like it’s super super good

— I don’t really play on specific playlists that I own. So this one had been on repeat on someone’s playlist. AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! it’s actually the first time I’ve ever listened to keshi so it’s definitely a very fun listen

— ABSOLUTE BANGER AND JUST SO GOOD RAHHHHH LOLA AMOUR HAS SUPER AMAZING SONG AND A LITERALLY SAXOPHONE PLAYING IN THIS SONG MAKES ME REPEAT THIS MASTERPIECE1!1!! anyway you guys should def listen to it !

— this is the most saddest songs I have ever heard like when I hear it while reading the lyrics i legit cry. I absolutely love the lyrics and the song and the music and the instrumentals and the singing and the singers and

— absolutely love the vibes of this song like omg laufey is so UGH I LOVE HER SONGS SM PIANO INSTRUMENTAL AND RAHHHHH it makes me cry

#haowrld.answers #moots ⭐️ #icyminghao

[cullenakingirog]

i contemplated asking the cockroach question or the better question. you know who i am. or do you? anyway, how do you incorporate the Filipino culture in your DA worldstates?

Gago you should've gone for the cockroach question haha may readymade sagot na ko dun lmao

But also boi

*cracks knuckles*

So there are various aspects of Filipino culture I used here and among them are Pre-Colonial and Spanish Colonial era fashions and customs and traditions. But not just that, I sprinkled in some of the modern-day traditions and customs here too.

But that's my generic explanation cause this is gonna be a novel

Also quick disclaimer but I do tend to make a lot of commentary on my country’s current state from disinformation to specific problems so forgive me for that. I’ve been dealing with this sm growing up that it bothers me.

I made an entire Filipino-coded country I named Azarinas post-Antivan colonisation to use because if canon will overlook the southeast esp the Philippines, I'll bring that to the forefront with my own canon-disrespecting ways.

And with that, comes in my own commentary of rabidly devout Catholicism in Filipino society. I translated that by having them persecute mages (cause of their part in Andraste's death and all that) and also they quote the Chant of Light to refute a lot of things. That, in turn, is a nod to Filipinos' obsession to quoting Bible verses to refute any suggestions of moving forward as a society.

But that's not the only group of people I added! The Azarinos are actually more of Spanish colonial Filipinos but I have made my "Dalish" clans called the Last Noble Houses who follow the old ways for them.

NOTE: They don't call themselves Dalish cause they've always been in Azarinas pre-colonisation. So this means they've never been to the Dales.

The members of the Last Noble Houses all have tattoos, but only some of them have tattoos on their face or their back since those are reserved for warriors of great renown. (a reference to how tattoos were treated in pre-colonial times)

NOTE: I did make it so that it would be customary for the common folk to have basic tattoos in front of their bodies for the sake of having protective spells imbued in their tattoos.

Pre-colonial Azarinas had the same caste system as Pre-colonial Philippines but after the fall of Iesera (Azarinas’ pre-colonial name) most of the caste levels dropped and only hints of it show through the leaders. (Namely, the ruling families are still descended from the Maginoo caste or are adopted into the ruling house to make it so that they’re in a way descended)

Soulmate dreams. That’s a thing haha

Azarinos have this obsession with foreign blood mixed into native Azarino blood. The more foreign you look, the more favoured you are. Colourism and racism directed at one another is common. Not to mention crab mentality being another flaw of the people.

But there are instances of beauty there and among them is that I incorporated the Bayanihan spirit in some moments. 

The Lakan during the pre-colonial era of Azarinas is a slight reference to epic heroes in his skill and power. TBH a lot of the characters like Mahalina and different leaders follow the checklist of Filipino epic heroes.

The Azarino language is legit Tagalog (which isn't the only language but in this instance it's the only one I learned cause I wasn't taught Pangasinense no matter how much I wanna learn) but there's a difference. The version of Tagalog used by the Azarino people vs. the Last Noble Houses is different. For the Azarinos, it is Tagalog with Spanish loan words. For the Last Noble Houses, it's deeper Tagalog with as little Spanish loan words as I could remember. (Deeper Tagalog, man it makes you sound regal but it melts the brain)

All seventeen clans (if u kno u kno 10+7 ballot) I've made followed the Pre-Colonial culture with a variety of the clans' leaders being named Datu, Rajah, Hara, or Dayang and their best leader being called Lakan as decided by the other leaders.

I made references to the legend of Princess Urduja of Pangasinan (My province) in one of the clans I made

I also made a reference to the Battle of San Rafael and made a Thedosian version of the revolutionary, Matanglawin.

The way they refer to the different members of the clan is also a thing from pre-colonial addresses. Paratabgaw = teacher (hahren in common Dalish), Atubang = Advisor, Kapunuan = Kinda like my lord/your majesty??, Tambalan = healer. I dare not touch the sacred titles of Babaylan/Katalonan/Alabay though. 

Honestly Philippine history is sprinkled in everywhere in Azarinas.

The houses of the elves in the Last Noble Houses are either based off of the bahay kubo or the torogan for the ruling families.

Various sayings like “malayo sa bituka” (it’s far from the intestines) or Filipino proverbs like “ano mang gagawin pitong beses iisipin” or “bato bato sa langit ang matamaan wag magalit” are used

I made sure there’s the different Filipino cuisines too from post to pre-colonial dishes. Mahalina is a brave mfer for loving Dinuguan but that’s no shock. Kakanin is also part of those dishes.

Carabao-like animals are one of the favoured animals of my elven clans. Those big zen looking animals are their halla in a way 

Among the favoured pets of the elves are the mayas, they’re simple and small but to them they make beautiful songs. (also they’re cute and round so-)

I made it so that the elven clans developed a specific type of floating balls of light meant to guide their people home. Common Azarinos see it and see it as an ill omen when it’s meant to help you. That’s a reference to Tala, goddess of the stars, and her helping people back then find their way home with her guiding balls of light and how the Spaniards demonised her aid by calling them the Santelmo that would lead you to your death.

The elves have long hair as a point of pride and beauty and will not cut it unless it’s in punishment, grief or before they go on a long journey.

They follow animism more than the thought of deifying any of their leaders. (they never had to deal with the Evanuris hence the difference in tattoo meanings) Another people they would deify are their ancestors. I’m not inserting the actual pantheons because I don’t want to disrespect them.

Alcoholic drinks like basi, lambanog and whatnot are the alcoholic drinks of Azarinas. Pandan tea and other flavours are also used.

Banana leaf wrappings. Every. Fucking. Where. Also rice. It’s considered weird if a meal is without rice. 

Traditional Filipino dances from pre to post colonial like Lawin-Lawin or Tinikling or Itik-Itik or Pandanggo sa Ilaw are used.

Songs I hc being commonly sung growing up: Ili-Ili, a Thedosian version of Dandansoy, Sa Ugoy ng Duyan, Pen Pen De Sarapen. Some pop songs could be sung here too like Kumpas, Ikaw at Ako, Rosas, Mapa.

Traditional musical instruments were also used along with the concept of harana. 

Pre and Post-colonial courting traditions are also used. (yes this means Dorian will get harana and Cullen gets to ask for Dalisay’s hairpin)

Same for wedding traditions like the sponsors for the non-Dalish and pre-colonial wedding traditions for the Dalish.

The usage of the gesture “mano po” which is pressing one’s forehead against the back of their elders’ hands. Along with the use of po and opo is used. 

Andrastian marriages can’t be divorced but annulment is allowed if the Grand Chantry gives its permission. A very expensive thing to try and get. Dalish marriages could end with divorce if both parties wish it really and both sides get equal shares when they split from each other. (though the dowry paid stays with the respective person it was given to.)

Sampaguitas are worn in the hair of the Dalish people sometimes as embellishments to make themselves look more beautiful. Outside, sampaguita garlands are sold to be hung on graves or on holy statues of Andraste and her followers (barring Shartan)

These are all the influences I could think of off the top of my head but there are more than this that I’ll be writing into stories I’m planning. God this was so much fun writing tho 

#ask #azarinas #anon

[eatsleepfangirling]

Okay on the one hand I'm aware that post was mostly a joke, but on the other hand... pretty sure Dokyeom was nearly in that position once?

It all started when he started in that King Artur musical a few years ago. Somebody on Tumblr posted promotional pictures of him in the knight armour, and it got a bunch of notes. And not just from Kpop blogs, either. Tons of the notes were from random people who fit into one or more of the following categories

-have never heard of Seventeen and thought he was handsome (this was most of them)

-thought the idea of hiring diverse-race actors for medieval-era stories was cool

-were wondering what Donkey Kong had to do with it (his nickname DK was at the end of the post)

-discussing the costume design

So yeah. Lee Dokyeom Seokmin was officially Tumblr-famous. And he probably doesn't even know.

I legit just know this???? I only been into seventeen few months ago and that was a bonkers fact but also that's....... Awesome

#seventeen #dokyeom #lee seokmin #i vaguely remember a post that are like 'I thought dk was donkey kong' or something tho

[mooifyourecows]

moo i’m gonna need a list of your favorite kpop songs and groups because now i’m invested since i know you have good taste

Hmm well get ready for a long list then because I've got lots. I'll bold the songs (and artists) that are my TOP faves from the whole thing (because I know it's gonna be a daunting list) and put an asterisk (*) next to the songs that have amazing mvs on youtube that make the listening experience even better 🤌

Obviously I love all of mamamoo, but some notable ones that I listen to a lot by them are 'I Miss You', 'Taller than you', 'Diamond', and 'Hip*'

'Maria*' and 'I'm bad too (feat DPR LIVE)' by Hwa Sa

'bboom bboom' by momoland

'MUSE (feat Paloalto)' by Hannah Jang

'Cause I'm God girl', 'Flower Shower', 'Follow me (feat Wooseok)' and 'Red' by HyunA

'Gucci' and 'zoom' by Jessi

I like most of (g)i-dle's songs but some of my faves are 'oh my god', 'hann', 'latata', and 'senorita'

'Swim- virus edit' by youra

'A.M.A.F.' by saay

'Dont hang up' by suran (feat ph-1)

'Eight*' by IU

I pretty much love all of BTS but here are my all time faves from them: 'black swan*', 'mama', 'lie', 'friends', 'jamais vu', 'spring day*', 'so 4 more/2nd grade', 'trivia: seesaw', 'singularity*', 'answer: Love myself', 'outro: tear', 'anpanman', 'don't leave me', 'pied piper', 'first love', 'look here'

okay I will stop with BTS because I'm a bit biased toward them considering they were the group that introduced me to kpop in the first place lmao

Okay I lied I'm not stopping because now for the solo albums from bts members:

'tokyo', 'badbye', 'everythingoes', 'do you', and 'change' by RM

'Hangsang', 'daydream', 'blue side' by J-Hope

'People', 'so far away (feat Suran)', 'give it to me', 'the last', and 'interlude: set me free' by Agust D

And they're not on Spotify UNFORTUNATELY, but also: 'promise' by jimin and '4 o'clock' by V and RM

'If you' and 'fxxk it' by bigbang

'Zutter*' by gdragon and t.o.p.

'DOOM DADA' and 'Turn it up' by t.o.p.

'Whisper*' by VIXX LR (very homo mv for this one fellas)

'Hoodie', 'Tuxedo*', 'Damnra', 'Leopard (feat Solar)', and 'Brag' by Ravi (Ravi is also a big mint chocolate chip fan and even remixed one of his songs and turned it into a Mint choco anthem so he gets TRIPLE my respect for that)(also his voice is just so sexy that I told my partner that if his voice turned into a person I would happily cheat on him with it. He is okay with it)(literally the two Koreans I'm legit in love with are Hwa sa and Ravi and they've both been called "unattractive" by Korean standards so I guess I just have GREAT taste)

'HALA HALA' and 'pirate king' by ATEEZ

'Back Door*', 'Gods Menu*', 'Red Lights*', 'Thunderous*', and 'Maniac*' by Stray Kids (best way to consume stray kids music is by watching their MVs because WOW they're so good like wow WOW)

'Shine', 'Naughty Boy', and 'Do it for fun' by Pentagon

'Want*', 'Advice*', and 'Criminal*' by Taemin

'Nillili Mambo*' and 'Mental Breaker' by Block B

'Ko ko bop' by exo

'Love scenario' and 'rhythm ta' by iKON

'Clap', 'oh my', and 'call call call' by seventeen

'Hello', 'air', 'everyday' and 'fool' by WINNER

'Just right' by got7

'HOLUP!*' by bobby

'The 7th Sense*' and 'Baby Don't Stop' by NCT

'Any song', 'Daredevil', 'One-man show (feat Sik-K)', and 'Summer Hate' by ZICO

'Hocus pocus' by PLT

'Part time lover', 'OOO', 'Then', 'Stay here', and 'lost my way' by Gaho

'Manitto' by Villain

'Face' and 'lazy' by woosung

'Instagram*' by dean

'Fiance' by mino

On top of listening to kpop, I'm also really into k-hiphop and k-indie, so I'll give some recs for those too if you're interested in giving them a try

K-Indie (or R&B or however they would classify these types of songs that I feel don't exactly fit into kpop. If im wrong then shhhh im just going off vibes okay):

'Dancing in the Rain', 'EXIT', 'Cloud', and 'Say Hello Inner Child' by Rad Museum

'Comes and Goes', 'Settled down', 'Big Bird', 'Die Alone', 'Wi Ing Wi Ing', and 'Love ya!' by HYUKOH (literally all their songs are so good though, oh hyuk has a BEAUTIFUL voice)

'Its you', 'SEATTLE', 'MAMA DONT WORRY', and 'NO SENSE' by Sam Kim

'Your dog loves you' and 'Poem (shhh)' by Colde

'No one told me why' by ALEPH

'hawaii in seoul', 'lost in seoul', and 'Waves' by DNYDK

For K-hiphop:

'J2B' by YUMDDA (feat DEEPLFLOW, paloalto, The Quiett, and Simon Dominic)

'Siren remix (feat uneducated kid and Paul Blanco)' by HOMIES (Paul blanco's verse in this song literally MURDERS me every time)

'Feedback', 'Let's disco dance', 'Memoir (orchestral version)', 'Raw (feat Seungmin Kim)', and 'Rambo' by Gwangil Jo

'fine! (feat kid milli)' by punchnello

'vv 2' by GIRIBOY feat CHOILB, Hayake, Kid Milli, and Seungmin Kim

'115 (feat pH-1)', 'under the ground (feat dean)', and 'Wu' by nafla

'business boy (feat nongmill kim and BLOO)' by Huh!

'bodega' and 'UFO' by 99 God

'BESIDE', 'Dressroom', 'not ok (feat ski dash)', and 'IZZEN' by H!GHLY BASS (definitely an underappreciated artist and he deserves more attention)

'SUPERBEEWHY' by SUPERBEE (feat BewhY)

'to all the uneducated kids too' by Olltii

'DOKI DOKI', 'YESSIR', and 'MAMA (feat bangkokboy)' by Ski Dash

'Wet (feat Jessi)', 'Bbung', '1 Week', 'Kari', and 'Yah, Nuh' by Flowsik

Aaaaand let's end it there 👌 hope you find something you like! I know a lot of these recs are pretty popular but there are some lesser known ones too that I think deserve way more love and attention 🖤

[starvity]

YOU WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING? Let me tell you about my 11 ults lmao

3 main(zb1, piwon and enha) and the others are semi/half hahah ok lets start(no specific order tho)

Zb1-han yujin(i’m his age if you dk yet lmao)

Piwon-Jongseob became even stronger after the concert like i was legit all the way in the back and had tall ppl infront of me BUT SEOB AND INTAKS(one of my main wrecker w keeho even tho atp seob biased ot wrecked after the concert lmao) stage like i cried w no tears but i met a girl there(a few ppl but i exchanged numbers w her) and she’s keeho biased! And i met some friends from a gc we made for the concert! I also made freebies and met some lovely ppl there! I love this fandom omg

Enha-Niki!!!!!! First ever ult!!!

txt-yeonjun!! We’re 4 kpop stans in my class all biasing jun like he should become our principal atp(we only had one wanting to become it anyways lmao)

Bts-yoongi

Seventeen-ok get ready for this: Scoups, Jeonghan, Joshua, Hoshi and The8! Scoups and Hoshi used to be wreckers and suddenly they ended up in the actual bias line hahah(funfact my fav animals(now 1/2 w dogs) are lions so its kinda matching w hoshi imo)

Newjeans-Danielle!!! Shes so cutesy i love uer

Pow-Yorch like i waited for Trainee A so long this sound weird but i’m attached to Yorch on a completely different level lmao

Riize-Anton my baby

Nct dream-Renjun since the concert like i didn’t rly could decide on one but Renjun def(here again i was all the way up in the back lmao also i like all nct units i’m seeing nct nation in cinema w my friend this weekend but i’m extra bonded w dream yk hahha)

Ateez-wooyoung like he is healing something in me and idk what- probably the issues of being bullied by boys most my live he and some boys from my new class(i’m retaking) are healing this in me🥹

Yes most my biases are maknaes or rappers i’m sorry😭

Hbu? Lots of love<3

-🇩🇪

11 ults?!?! omg i am all ears!!!

you went to a piwon concert too?? i loved it so much omg and it seems like you had so much fun i'm glad!! heavy on intak and seob like,, i fell even more in love with jiung but intak's and seob's stage was insane, screamed so much!!!!

YEONJUN THE PRINCIPAL THIS IS SO REAL FGSJJS i used to be surrounded by yeonjun stans until i met my fellow ningdungie friend last year :D

OMG TRAINEE A!!! literally saw a sangwon post this morning i miss my man :')))

i am also a big big dreamie stan like!!!! been following them since 2016 but i couldn't see them in europe last year bc i had an event for school :(( i see that they are hinting a world tour and hopefully they come back cause i really wanna see them!!! how was the movie?? tell me about it!!!

literally opened my ateez album with my friend last week and they were laughing because i cried when i pulled wooyoung twice LMAOO i got emotional okay... i totally get what you mean like i have a strong bond with him you get it...

overall i bias anton, woo and hoshi too!! <33

hope you have a nice weekend and i love learning about other people's biases it's so interesting <3

#starvity.answer #🇩🇪 anon

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Breaker Upperers (2018)

New Zealand’s unique brand of humor is on full display in The Breaker Upperers, a surprisingly charming comedy that makes great use of the lead actresses' chemistry. Shouldn’t be too surprising as stars Madeleine Sami and Jackie van Beek also directed and wrote the picture. This is the kind of movie someone else would remake thinking it could be adapted for other territories with ease, but wouldn’t work at all with someone else at the reigns.

Jennifer (van Beek) and Mel (Sami) run The Breaker Upperers, an agency that helps people break up with their significant others. If you want to end your relationship so definitively that the other person will never even think of calling you to "talk things out", they’ll tell your partner you got eaten by an animal while disguised as police officers to make it seem legit. When Mel becomes close with one of their clients - a seventeen-year-old dummy named Jordan (James Rolleston) - this new relationship threatens their partnership.

This movie leans into the inherent stupidity of the premise. The story takes place on the North Island of New Zealand and the Breaker Upperers' clients assume they’ll never bump into their exes ever again. Equally as stupid are the female entrepreneurs, who haven’t realized that eventually, someone will spot the officers/lawyers/moms/other women just hanging out doing something completely different than what they’re supposed to. Although you’re unsure if the clients suggest the elaborate - and flimsy - lies that will “set them free” or if The Breaker Upperers are coming up with their own material, it doesn’t matter. Anyone should see past these charades but they don’t, which makes it hilarious. More than once, the illusion is broken and then, what can Jen and Mel do? The only thing they know, which is to keep digging, keep lying. If they get lucky, they might hit China and get off Scott-free.

Cringe humor occasionally follows the gags, which might not be everyone’s cup of tea but is necessary to the story’s success. It’s fun to laugh at these antics, but upon closer imagination, there’s something very sad about these characters. They work for the worst cowards imaginable; the kind of people who would leave their spouses or families without having the guts to face them. As it’s pointed out to them, people are getting hurt and although they might not admit it, the lies are affecting Jennifer and Mel too. There’s something deeply unfulfilling about their lives, which is why Jen is still obsessed with “the one that got away” and Mel is entering this relationship with a man she’s got no business being with.

I’ll give the movie extra bonus points for resisting the urge to turn the leads into a couple despite one of them being bisexual. This is a story about friendship and seeing these two messy people eventually start to figure things out is endearing. You might even call it a bit moving. The moments of heart perfectly complement the many big, memorable laughs. It isn’t going to be everyone's cup of tea but if you like The Breaker Upperers, it’ll be a new favorite. (February 12, 2021)

#The Breaker Upperers #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Madeleine Sami #Jackie van Beek #2018 movies #2018 films

[starryfreckles]

🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨

legit why did tumblr just now tell me i got this 🥸 its from oct16 ajsndds im so sorry liz 😭 anyways here are my fav songs of the moment

our dawn is hotter than day - seventeen (this one never leaves TT TT)

you - jukjae

slowly - odie

my drug - kid cudi

slump 'tower of god' - stray kids

#tumblr is stupid im sorry it took me so long to do it jasdknfds #inbox💌

[vonderlast]

BREAKING: K-Pop star from the group SEVENTEEN, Yoon Jeonghan, will be racing for Alfa Romeo Racing Orlen from 2022 season on!!

#if you don't know who seventeen is they are a kpop group and they are legit amazing #i have been a fan since 2017 and love them a lot #and i have talked about this before i believe #but it's really important to me so you'll hear it again #i started liking f1 because of a seventeen au i read on ao3 where one of the members #seungcheol #is a mercedes driver #and another member #wonwoo #is a ferrari driver #and the fic is amazing it follows their love throughout the f1 season and it's really really one of my fav fics #also danny ric is featured in the fic and he's a mercedes driver too so cheers to that #so you can safely say that i got into f1 with a little seventeen push #and Today #they released a special music video for a song called Anyone #and guess what #it's a racing themed mv that was filmed at the amg speedway in south korea #pretty boys dancing and driving mercedes cars #i honestly think they did this one for me #and if i were you i would check this mv out #and look at this jeonghan picture #alpha romeo colours ffs #i love him #anyway go watch my boys in fast cars i love them and i love fast cars #seventeen #svt #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #f1