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#seriously he was only present there for some mundane things and activities and because he's not a gem he didn't want to be in a way of
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Are you still doing the unpopular opinions meme? 🔥 Naruto leftist discourse (and a precision: since Naruto Tumblr is the home of Naruto fans criticizing the Shinobi System and the narrative and so a huge chunk of the critique of the show on here is centered on those aspects, do you think people sometimes go too far and take it too seriously or don't take it seriously enough, etc.)
Hi! Yeah I’m still doing the ask game!
Yeah I do think there are times I see people taking it too seriously and people not taking it seriously enough. I think it’s good and important to be able to see how the stuff the show frames positively re: the shinobi system is really fucked up and to be able to see that Sasuke’s perspective is fundamentally correct despite him being vilified, and to be able to see that the ideas of morality that are being presented are very hypocritical and at times pretty awful. And when people who are actively engaged in Naruto discourse on here choose to dismiss or make fun of that analysis it does bother me, because I know they’ve had it explained to them and still refuse to see it.
That being said when it comes to the fandom on Tumblr it matters much more to me that people understand the problems with the show’s messaging than that they like the same characters/ships as me, and while there’s some characters that I don’t really see the appeal of and somewhat distrust the opinions of most of their fans, and vice versa characters I love and distrust the opinions of people who dislike them, I care more that people generally understand why the show’s messaging around genocide and its condemnation of the use of violence to resist a violent system are bad. I think getting super vitriolic towards people based on their subjective feelings about characters or ships is a bit embarrassing to witness. And similarly getting really vitriolic over people like not taking things seriously enough because they ship [x] or whatever or have some minorly flawed take, and claiming that they’re inherently selfish and morally depraved or something because of that is like kind of absurd to me lol, like it’s genuinely not that deep.
Also when people compare in-universe events to actual real-life atrocities it’s taking it a bit too far imo. I also think that while there are definitely connections between people’s opinions on fiction and their politics, and fiction is inherently political, you can’t reliably extrapolate people’s irl politics from their opinions about Naruto like I know people who are definitely leftists who I think have mundanely bad naruto opinions bc they’ve just never thought that deeply about it until I talked to them, and I’ve run into a couple of people on here who were Sasuke stans but turned out to be politically conservative, like there’s no clear line you can draw and it’s a bit weird to think that way imo. Also when people like to claim that Sasuke stans are like using Naruto discourse as a substitute for political engagement it’s hilarious lol like why don’t you think people can have hobbies like talking about fiction they like and also be politically engaged irl, they’re not mutually exclusive.
I think the reason leftists are drawn to analyze Naruto this way is partly because it illustrates really well the hypocrisy of systems that are inherently violent but treat resistance towards the status quo as the only real form of violence, and also illustrates how a militarized profit-based system affects lots of characters in different ways on a personal level. And I think Sasuke does develop a (flawed but still powerful) revolutionary ideology over the course of the story, and he has a big pivotal role in the story, and that resonates with a lot of people, myself included. He’s also a really complex and sympathetic character imo who manages to both feel very real and human and grow and change in meaningful ways (e.g. not just be the mouthpiece for a certain political viewpoint) and also opposes the dominant system at the same time.
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blzzrdstryr · 3 years
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Reveries of changes
Yandere!Childe x Fatui!gn!reader
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CW: Dissociation, mentions of rape, violence, unhealthy relationship, abuse of power.
Sometimes you find yourself asking what ifs. What if the Event never happened and you never received the vision? What if Ajax never developed his obsession with you? What if you treated him a little bit warmer? Would he be more tolerable? There are thousands of possible scenarios buzzing in your head, sometimes diverging just by words left unsaid or an outstretched hand being shaked. You know it’s a futile thing, thinking about the future and the present that you will never have, but you can’t stop, thoughts spiraling further and further.
This morning starts with the similar what if. What if I agreed to start again? The brief conversation from yesterday is still on your mind - you dread it’s another of the turning points in your relationship, just like the rejected handshake or the hospitalized recruit were. A moment after which there’ll be changes, changes that you won’t have time to prepare for. Speaking from the experience alone, Childe, like the rotten bastard he is, will act even worse from now on. It all started from teen Ajax following you and offering his friendship at every turn and somehow ended in him personally asking Tsaritsa to assign you to him, reducing you from a highly respectable Fatui agent skilled both in stealth and subterfuge to a glorified escort and a secretary.
One day he’ll just get tired from all of this and will forcefully bend me over in some dark murky corner, you darkly conclude, the remnants of the sleep leaving your body entirely at the grim thought. Or maybe he will break his promise not to cheat and will order me to do it.
Unwilling to think about the Ninth Wave of your unwanted relationships, you quickly stand up from the bed and start preparing for the day. Dressing and freshening up from the sleep you still mentally return to the darker place, cautious of what Tartaglia will pull out this time. Finally, you exit the door fully ready and lock the room, hiding the key under the clothes after, and make way to the fourth floor of the bank.
Here lies Childe’s working space and personal quarters , and if the former can be easily seen and entered just by walking up the stairs, the latter is hidden from view by the wall and massive door. There is a wide work desk and two armchairs placed too close for your comfort. You peek into the interior window, only to find it veiled by a thick curtain from the other side, so you decide to broaden the space between the chairs.
Satisfied with distance now, you sit at your place, taking a sheet out of the pile of documents, mostly consisting of reports of credits approved and money returned, unusually mundane yet highly classified information. Aside from accompanying Childe when he needs to beat and threaten the debts out of deadbeats, you also have to track the transactions the bank makes, a routine job consuming most of your daytime.
At the sixth or seventh fiscal account, you hear door opening and mentally brace for Ajax’s presence. Harbinger doesn’t smile, looking serious instead. You hope it has nothing to do with you, as it’s too early in the day for you to already deal with his usual mess.
“[First]”, you look up, staring at the bizarrely humorless Ajax looming over your sitting form. He clears his throat, as if he feels awkward right now, “Are you sure you won’t have one of your episodes?”
Your mind blanks for a second and then there’s a mix of shame and anger flooding your being and making you see red. Over the last months you spent working with him, he was the sole trigger of your affliction and now there are considerable gaps in your memory, in which you have absolutely no clue what happened to you. You had an inkling that Childe is aware that you are not always completely here, but a slap in the face with such casual mention is enough to render you wordless for a good minute.
“I... It happens only under certain circumstances”, you find your voice wavering and his face darkens, as he quickly catches unsaid ‘because of you’. Fortunately, he decides not to press it.
“There’s a problem at hands, one that needs your skills". These words make you do a double take - Ajax doesn't look like he's lying, speech lacking usual grandiose and bravado, yet you still can't believe he lets you return to your former work. You make a quick guess.
“Qixing?”
“Qixing” he nods,"their spies must have learned something about the sigils. It's a minor issue now, but if Tianquan or Yuheng will learn about it…"
"A diplomatic disaster and a permanent loss of Geo Archon's gnosis" you continue for him, “Fatui would be banned or seriously limited in Liyue and most of trade routes will be cut off, Ningguang can easily press sanctions against most of Snezhnayan import”. You frown at the thought, no matter what Fatui would do in such situations there's too much to lose and almost nothing to gain, even if you start destroying the investigation and replication of sigils right now, it will be a waste of possible weapons against Rex Lapis.
Then, there's one painless exit from the complicated mess: destruction of all meager material evidence and clues they somehow scraped together. Despite finally having a glimpse of a freedom, you don’t feel any excitement, but doubt instead - just a year ago, such operation would be another routine task for you, but now, having wasted months because of Childe's possessiveness, you can't help but feel incompetent.
You contemplate, glancing at him: on one hand, Tartaglia can easily send any other agents, but on the other hand, none of said agents possess a vision, a vision that you specifically molded to be a perfect tool for stealth and assassinations. He tilts his head, a hand impatiently drumming against the desk, waiting for your answer - you can infer his inner monologue - Tartaglia, just like you, is torn between his loyalty to Tsaritsa and his own feelings on the matter and this is what finally cements your decision.
You can almost see how much he itches to forbid you from taking the mission, but stops himself out of his sense of duty to Snezhnaya, and this knowledge fills you with darker type of satisfaction to the very brim: You lean back, pretending to still ponder over his words, enjoying the view of apprehensive Childe for once.
“I think, I can’t...” you start, your voice deliberately small and hesitant, watching how Ajax smiles again, convinced that you no longer have any confidence in your abilities, “let Snezhnaya be compromised in any way”.
He doesn’t let any of the anger and frustration show on his face, yet the drumming ceases, leaving you two in the silence, save for the sounds of the street coming out of the window.
You know you’re poking at the sleeping tiger, letting a childish impulses to guide your words, but the opportunity to upset Harbinger are much harder to come by these days: he took away your job, your delusion and your freedom, the least he can do to compensate is suffer in return.
“Alright”, he finally says and fails to hold back disappointed sigh “agent [Last]. Your delusion is in Ekaterina’s possession, just as the rest of the equipment. You will start tonight, information is in the upper left drawer. You have no right to fail, if you do I will write a complaint to Tsaritsa against you and personally oversee that you will be discharged”.
It’s a gambling game then, and terribly unfair at that - even if you win it won’t set you free or relocate under someone easier to handle and Tartaglia loses virtually nothing by allowing you to roam out of his sight for one night only, and by failing you will literally had your life into Childe’s eager hands.
You won’t let the bastard triumph.
***
After getting your gear and delusion back, you spend the rest of the day reading the data and mentally preparing for what is about to come. The qixing base you're to infiltrate is located awfully near the current place of sigil research, as if Ningguang or whoever planted it here already suspected Fatui from the start. The base itself is disguised as an ancient Liyuen ruin with a couple of deactivated ruin hunters placed nearby to scare off the adventurers who no doubt will try to explore it.
You are almost panting when you finally reach it - turns out that despite being easily visible from afar, the base is surrounded by the tall and steep cliffs from all sides, with the only passage bound to be guarded. Invoking to the power of your vision, you effortlessly become invisible to the eye, enter the building and almost rush back the same second - there’s a millelith passing nearby in whom you almost bumped in.
Heart racing you enter the building again, walking on half bent legs to minimize the sounds, and avoid milleliths on your way. They feel a sudden rush of frosty air, but seeing no one nearby, just write it off as a sudden midnight chill. You continue to make your way, peeking into each room, forcing yourself to remain in this form longer and longer, body aching and freezing from the overuse. Finally you see it - a stack of documents placed on the bamboo table near the oil lamp in a conveniently empty room.
Your hand is already extended to push the lamp and fake an accidental fire, when you decide to investigate the papers - it’s better to learn what qixing already knows. Your eyes quickly peruse a liyuen script, characters upon other characters - a report about suspicious activities, a detailed intelligence of Northland’s spendings and thankfully, not a word of sigils, except the note stating that Fatuis are buying a considerable amount of paper and ink.
Having memorized each of the documents, you throw the lamp now, a flame quickly spreading to the documents and soon consuming a whole table. Someone in the corridor screams about fire, four milleliths rushing in the room and you use this distraction to sneak out. Having escaped the borders of the faux ruin you quickly run, still maintaining invisibility, and only when you reach the cliffs again do you allow yourself to rest.
After climbing over the rocks, the rest of the trail is spent between jogging and walking, frost from the vision still residing inside. Bitter chill slows down your movements and you can’t help, but shiver from time to time, arms and legs aching and burning from it. You eye the pyro delusion and consider using it - unlike a cryo vision that you sculpted for secrecy and agility, the delusion is more battle-focused, able to produce quick bursts of fire in the rare occasions you get into a brawl.
Suddenly, a ball of flames explodes near you - a whopperflower bursts out of the ground, sensing you in proximity. You dodge another fireball, instinctively flinching at the sudden flash of light and send an ice blade it's way. It slightly grazes the creature's skin, yet a mimetic plant rushes back under the ground as you summon another icicle and swiftly stab it in the "head" the second it emerges again.
The plant dies in convulsion, it’s reddish walls contracting around the blade, a fast stream of boiling hot energy nectar shooting from the wound the moment you pull away the weapon. You curse, as some of the liquid hits you on the leg, burning a part of your pants and scorching the flesh underneath. Hissing and gritting teeth, you use your vision again, now to soothe a throbbing pain.
Well, at least I am not freezing anymore.
You return at the first rays of dawn, dull pain still lingering in the lower body, pulsating and echoing every step. Slightly drowsy Nadia at the entrance nods at you, her gaze at your wound obvious even with a mask on, and you nod back, a wordless exchange providing a slight reprieve, before you have to deal with Childe again.
“Hard day?”, she asks right before you enter, a pale shadow of concern in her voice. You frown, confused by the sudden disquiet.
“Something happened?”
“Uhm”, a small pause, “the boss. He was restless tonight, very restless”.
Ah, shit.
“Well, that is unpleasant” you deadpan, any remaining desire to go inside the bank vanishing the same second: “Thank you anyways” and then you step in.
Harbinger waits right there in an absolutely empty lobby - it seems that Ekaterina’s shift hasn't started yet. He’s leaning on the wall, head turning to you as you enter and immediately noticing the state of your leg. His expression grows darker, when you thought he would lighten up at your perceived failure instead.
"Who did this to you?" he asks, hints of steel appearing in his voice. You lift your eyebrows - no teasing, starters or bravado. Maybe he's so impatient to hear about your failure that he forgot to keep up the act?
You swat away his question, deciding to report on your mission instead - documents were destroyed by a set up accident, none of the qixing and milleliths saw you; he doesn’t seem to listen though, eyes still glued to the burn and then he repeats his question, voice taking the dangerous tone.
“No one, no one did it. It was an accident on the way back”, he isn’t convinced judging by the way he grabs your arm, his monstrous strength evident in the steel trap grip. “Damn” you cuss, trying to free your hand - if Tartaglia learns that you let the whopperflower of all things injure you, he won’t let you live it down and will weaponise it, to point out your so-called incompetence over and over again.
“Let me go” you tug harder, a vision coming back to life from the distress. You pull away your wrist from him again and again and then you hear it first and feel it second - a small cracking sound and a sharp pain, shooting up your arm - you broke a bone. It’s too sudden for you to realize what happened or even properly sense the shock of ache.
He lets go of you in the same second, eyes looking blankly at the injured hand. His lips thin and he exhales, in a long and strangely controlled manner - seeing Childe act and look so emotionless is sure bizarre. He hauls you up bridal carry style, ripping out a low hiss of pain as his clothes rub against the burn, and directs himself to the stairs. You're too busy gritting your teeth and trying not to cry in front of Childe to notice him climbing past the third floor and only when he opens the door to his room with a kick do you finally snap back to reality.
Despite working for him for months now, you enter his quarters for the first time. It's a spacious place, with a wide bed and writing desk located near the window. There are different weapons decorating the walls - swords, claymores, spears - all with the traces of use, and a small pile of trinkets and children's toys on the desk, placed right near the started letter, some of them already half wrapped - must be a gift for someone, then.
He sets you down on the bed and turns to the wall, taking a dagger from its place and some small container. A part of you gets scared all of the sudden - you remember your morning thoughts and all those instances when his eyes focused on your body for far too long to be innocent or comfortable. Is this it? Did he get so fed up with you that he decided to drop any pretense and abandon the cat-and-mouse game you two seemed to have?
Ignoring the pain in both limbs you jolt for the exit - there’s no meaning in fighting him, yet you can still flee, lock in your room and then plan what to do. “Stop it” he says, a warning clear in his voice, and to your frustration it’s enough to glue you in place. You look at him, heart booming in your chest, barely suppressing a flinch at every step he’s taking. He leads you back to the bed, as you feel the world warping around you again and the worst part is that you can’t stop it - It’s unfair, I can’t leave, not yet, I will hate myself for the rest of my life if it happens.
He kneels down, blade slicing through the pants as you forget how to breath. His figure deforms, a dark blue sea leaking out of the dead fish eyes and you see great leviathans lurking underneath the surface. Childe is the ocean, in a sense that he contains horrors beyond the human imagination. He is the great sleeping kraken that will swallow the world and you are his first victim.
His hand takes something out of the container and you expect it to burn and to hurt you, but instead there’s a muffled soothing feeling that comes, an unintentional “ah” coming out of your mouth. He doesn’t force himself and patches you up on the contrary.
You come back to yourself little by little, when he almost finishes with ministrations, leg and wrist looking like two casts. It feels bizarre to come back to your body halfway, to see Ajax kneeling in front of you, head hung low and it’s even weirder to hear his voice, hurt and utterly defeated: “So that’s what you think of me”.
He helps you come back to your room, as you still feel dazed. You pinch yourself a couple of times, still unable to believe that any of these happenings are real, they are.
A turning point, you conclude, there’s no way anything will stay the same after this.
You both dread and anticipate the changes.
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ayellowcurtain · 3 years
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I should be writing other prompt but then I was scrolling aimlessly through my likes here and I found @thenerd10 idea a few days ago, and well, my brain thinks I should word vomit about it for a second since it’s an important day today.
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Sander is obsessed with creating playlists. Before Robbe he did them all to himself and himself only and to do the most random activities, he didn’t care much about putting nice titles to them: doodling, sketching for class, taking medication, shitty days, Bowie.
He even made one for Britt when they were together but he’s not proud of that one because he never thought he knew her well enough to pick the right songs. He takes his playlists seriously so he’s actually bothered by not being able to create a good enough playlist but he got over it eventually.
Now he has a million playlists about Robbe or for Robbe. And let’s be real honest here, he has the mundane ones, obviously, a million of those. But he also has some very...private ones. For those ones he has titles for, detailed ones even. Titles that nobody else can read because, you know, it’s their thing. That first failed attempt at cybersex he made a playlist and felt horrible about it because of Robbe’s response to that night, but he kept it because he thought that conversation could come back some other time. Robbe now has access to that playlist too.
Back to the matter. Sander loves playlists. And Robbe loves music almost as much as Sander does. But he doesn’t make playlists. It was never his thing, he listens to everything in a messy playlist that he didn’t even created, it’s where all his songs are and he presses the play button and goes with whatever his phone picks. Now he listens to Sander’s playlists. He teases Sander a lot about them too but he loves all of them and that’s all he hears. He trusts Sander’s taste (for anything) blindly.
And they’re so used to listening to the same things, using the same apps that both their phones are often connected to each other’s headphones. And it’s a new thing that Sander does: press play to a random playlist at a random time to play it on Robbe’s headphones, always, always wrapped around his neck. He’ll hear the whispers in his neck and he’ll smile and put his headphones properly to hear which song is playing this time.
But today is Sander’s birthday. The first one they’re actually spending together, basically glued together, that’s how desperate they were to just live this day with each other for the first time wholeheartedly and very present, minute by minute.
Robbe spent so many hours of the past few weeks paying extra attention, always thinking about a song for each moment - small or big - they lived in the past month. He also tried to be sneaky and carefully bring the music conversation back from time to time, to make sure all of Sander’s favorite songs were in this playlist.
He’s in no way confident he’s doing a good job, he freaked out a few times and Moyo, Jens and Milan always reassured him that he was doing great!
But anyway, there’s no more turning back now. They just got home, Robbe’s mom is out to go shopping - Robbe gave her all his savings for the last month just to keep her out of the house for some time. She understood why he was so persistent about wanting her to just go out and she smiled at him and said she would go shopping and maybe go out to eat with a few friends later. So he knows they have time.
He gave Sander his headphones the second they met after school - Robbe was waiting for Sander at that bike rack and his heart starting beating so fast when Sander saw him and smiled so big. He kept thinking that was the perfect time to just press play but he always changed his mind to wait for a better moment. They ate at Robbe’s favorite fast food place, they walked home holding hands, and talking about their day, and now they’re finally alone and at home, instantly warming when they step inside, getting rid of their shoes and jackets.
Sander was scrolling through his phone to find something for them to eat as a dessert and Robbe waited, standing one step behind him, with shaky hands, opening the app and pressing play on the playlist he worked so hard on. Everything was so quiet that even he could hear the first song starting to play. Sander lifted his head a little bit and understood it was coming from Robbe’s headphones. Robbe can’t see much from behind him but he sees the little movement Sander’s back and arms make when he laughs quietly, carefully putting the headphones in place.
Robbe hugs him from behind, putting his phone in his pocket or he’ll freak out about the song choices and start to skip a bunch, overthinking as always. He hugs Sander as tight as he can and Sander puts his hands over Robbe’s, turning around a second later to they can see each other and share a slow kiss.
“Happy birthday, my king.”
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alighieri-sparda · 3 years
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DMC Boys + Civilian S/O
Sweetly requested by anon ♡ | Masterlist | Rules
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Hi dear! Sorry about the delay, hope you don’t mind. I love writing fluff things, so your request made my day! Hope you like it.
- - -
Dante
His S/O is protected by Dante’s typical dorky style. He’s naturally the funniest guy they’ve ever met in their life, so it’s not uncommon to see Dante suddenly taking his S/O in his arms and saying something like “How is my pretty little person doing, hm?” and then kiss their cheek when he finally meets them after a while. His attitudes might be kind of stupid, but they are also very honest.
It doesn’t mean Dante cannot act seriously when the situation calls for it though. He knows that having a civilian S/O is very risky — for them principally — and the last thing he wants is to lose them like he lost his mother. Due to that condition, Dante never takes them to his jobs, even though he talks to them a lot about all the situations he experienced during his Devil Hunter life. Don’t get me wrong, Dante knows that he’s absolutely capable of protecting them from everything. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to expose his S/O like that. He’s unbelievably careful when it comes to his S/O’s safety.
However, Dante didn’t hide his relationship with them from anyone close to him. It might sound incoherent, but the only people who are aware of his relationship are the most trustworthy ones that Dante has in his life. Since he doesn’t know what can happen to them, he at least can count on Lady, Trish, and Nero to protect them if something prevents him from doing so.
Dante takes every chance he has to skip jobs just to stay with them in their house. He knows that his S/O is shy about the others and avoids demonstrating affection in public because of that, so he doesn’t mind skipping other activities just to give them the attention they deserve.
By the way, it’s important to say that Dante is definitely a cuddler. A professional one. They are his cute and precious S/O; he can’t help hugging them tightly and kissing their shy face multiple times in a row. He wouldn’t mind doing these sorts of things in public, but he respects their decision to keep it private. But when they are both with other people, especially at Devil May Cry, Dante likes to hold their hands softly.
When they are at the shop, it is usually because Dante invited them to stay and sleep there with him. It’s not so common to happen though, because of all of those things about exposure and dangers related to date a Son of Sparda. If his S/O is there, Dante doesn’t receive customers in person and closes the shop earlier. And whenever they want to go home back home, Dante always accompanies them to their house.
Nero
This boy is naturally a very protective person to everyone he cares about. But dating a civilian person increased his protection instinct to a whole another level. His S/O basically has a boyfriend and a second mother at the same time; things like “I’m not sure if it’s safe to go alone, think I’m going with you” and “Please, let me know if something strange ever happens to you” are quite usual to come up from Nero’s mouth. He doesn’t mean to be overprotective, but he ends up being anyway, sometimes even apologizing for doing such things. But they think that’s a cute aspect of Nero’s personality, so they just pass it on. It’s completely understandable since they remember how many rough things Nero passed through due to the Order.
Nero is not afraid of telling them the things that happened to him in the past though. He does it to warn them about how dangerous things related to the Demon World can be more than anything, and how they must not go after those sorts of subjects. Nero also invited them to live with him just when his relationship with his S/O started, because he’d be able to protect them properly if they stayed close to him, in his opinion. Well, no matter the reason, they enjoyed the idea very much.
He doesn’t exactly hide his relationship with them, but he avoids talking about it in public. But of course, Nico, Dante, and everyone else does know about their existence. Actually, they’re very cherished by the others who know them due to their lovely and kind personality, so Nero can calm down a bit because they’re very well protected by the rest of the crew.
In public, Nero doesn’t leave their side at any moment. His excuse is always related to “I want to protect you!”, but they know it’s all about being closer to them, always embracing his S/O’s shoulders. Sometimes, he suddenly steals a peck from them, just to chuckle at their flustered shy face. Nero is shy about demonstrating affection in public as well, but he just loves that precious person so much; it can’t be helped!
It’s pretty obvious, but it is still worth emphasizing that Nero is a damn cuddler. Even more than Dante. When they are in private, Nero doesn’t let them go from his cuddles easily; he’s very physical when it comes to love demonstration, and that’s perfect for them because Nero’s hugs are the warmest and most comfortable ones in this world.
By the way, when they’re both sleeping at their shared bed, Nero is always the big spoon. And they’ve never slept at any different position since they started to live with him. Nero never realized this fact; he does it unconsciously.
V
It’s quite noticeable that V is the less experienced between the Devil May Cry crew when it comes to intimate relationships, and that’s what most affected him when he saw himself dating a civilian: a person who is even more powerless than him against demonic creatures. V feels truly terrified because they are the most precious thing he has in his life and he’s not sure if he’d be able to protect them. But V would give up on everything to keep them safe, without a doubt.
Unlike Dante and Nero, V doesn’t feel comfortable telling them all of that demonic stuff. In his opinion, explaining everything would put them in danger somehow. So, the only things V allows himself to do are presenting his familiars to his S/O — only mentioning Nightmare, since he is the most terrifying of the three and the only one he has no control over — and vaguely explain what’s going on. They feel obviously confused, but they respect V’s decision. They know he just wants to protect them.
His S/O’s relationship with V’s familiars makes him smile without even realizing it. Griffon’s still annoying, but it’s clear how much he enjoys their presence — and when he starts to bother them, it’s usually just to make them laugh. Shadow purrs constantly when they pet her, and she even licks their face and hair affectionately. It’s fair enough to consider that V’s familiars are now his S/O’s ones as well.
When V can finally have some time alone with his S/O, he’s the sweetest; laying on the couch to read some poetry to them, letting them pet Shadow and timid cuddles are quite usual to come up from this gentle boy. If they start to ask something related to the Demon World, V will only kiss their lips softly and whisper against their mouth: “There’s no need to be concerned about such things, love. The only thing worth recalling is that I am with you now.” V’s kisses are the gentlest in this world, as much as his hands as well, those he softly brushes against their back and through their hair.
V didn’t tell anyone about his relationship with them at first. Due to his inexperience with these sorts of things, he avoided exposing their existence unnecessarily, taking care of them quietly, in his way. However, as the events went on, V realized how trustful Nero proved to be and revealed his deep affection for them — but he’s the only person who knows about it. If V needs to show up with his S/O in public for any reason, he’s extra careful, never leaving their side. Shadow is always surrounding them, protecting V’s S/O directly. He’s not really down for demonstrating affection in public just like his S/O, but if V notices they’re afraid or anxious for some reason, he’ll gently kiss their hand and say things to comfort them.
They are not aware of this, but they can get what they want from V just by smiling at him. Their cute and lovely personality makes his heart melt; he smiles at every word they say or at any mundane thing they do. One day, V asked them to read a few lines of Blake’s poetry, just to appreciate how wonderful those words would sound when spoken by their sweet voice. He basically fell in love with his lovely S/O again, kissing their lips passionately after they were done.
Vergil
The eldest son of Sparda is definitely the most overprotective one. Vergil doesn’t even ponder that he’s being almost a controlling person over his S/O, because everything sounds pretty justifiable in his head. But everything can be solved if his S/O addresses him about his actions. It will be kind of hard at the beginning because Vergil is a stubborn bitch, but he’ll recognize his mistakes eventually. If they get really upset about this, Vergil will wait until they’re in bed, embrace them and speak softly: “I’m sorry.”
Vergil’s lack of experience on dealing with emotions and his naturally introverted behavior make things a bit hard at the beginning, but his S/O learned how to deal with those aspects of his personality and comfort him when he gets stressed over things like that. It’s the way Vergil found to demonstrate the love and affection he feels for them, and they recognize this. It’s important to remind that everything Vergil does is to keep the person he loves safe and comfortable; and he does such things in his awkward antisocial way, but with honest love put into his actions. The last thing he wants is to lose them like he lost his mother.
At first, Vergil will hide their existence from everyone. He’s unsure about what would happen to them if he does so; and of course, Vergil is completely confident that he can protect them from everything. But Dante would find out about them soon — Dante knows his brother very well to notice he changed somehow — and assure Vergil that “if we know about them, Verge, they would be better protected”. With that in mind, Vergil will let them go to Devil May Cry and meet the rest of the crew, but never exposing them to demonic power. He doesn’t even unsheathe Yamato nor allow himself, Dante or Nero to Devil Trigger next to his S/O, for example.
Vergil is less physical when it comes to demonstrate love; he’s not an assumed cuddler, actually. The way he demonstrates his affection is by simple attitudes, like starting a little conversation when asking about their day once it’s noticeable he’s not the biggest fan of talking with other people, sitting next to them while he’s reading when his preference is to have a isolated place to do so, and sleeping with his S/O in the same bed even when he’s not exactly able to sleep. Vergil does things that no one would ever believe he has actually done.
Demonstrating affection in public is a huge NO with Vergil. The only perceptible thing he’d do is just stay close enough to them to make sure he’s there to protect them if something bad happens, but don’t expect seeing him embracing or even barely touching them at any possible way. It is not even a problem to his S/O since they’re a shy person who blushes easily when Dante teases his brother about his relationship with a civilian human smirking like a jackass. Although Vergil avoids using his power next to his S/O, he surely will stab his brother with a spectral sword to shut him up.
Like I said before, Vergil just doesn’t assume being a cuddler. One of his favorite things to do is surprise them with a soft kiss on their head or cheek while they’re just doing mundane things, like doing the dishes or reading, just to see that surprised shy face of theirs. When Vergil is waking up, sleepy, he likes to hug them tightly and resting his head over their shoulder. It usually happens when Vergil is sleeping with his S/O after a long time without seeing them. He also loves when they caress and massage his scalp, but will never ask them to do it — he will only pray to the gods that they will notice this quickly and then enjoy the laziest mornings in their shared bed. Poor touch-starved Vergil.
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tvandenneagram · 4 years
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The Mortal Instruments Enneagram Types - Type Descriptions and Tri-types under the cut
Clary Fray: 4w5 - 6w5 - 1w2
Clary is brave, creative and stubborn. She will always try to do what she believes is right and will follow her heart when she makes decisions.
Clary is very artistic and has a talent for creating runes. She expresses herself through her art and and carries her sketchbook with her everywhere she goes, using it like a diary.
Clary will fight for what she believes in and will often put herself in danger if it means protecting those she cares about. She is stubborn and it is difficult to change her mind once she has made a decision
Clary is very romantic and is preoccupied with her relationship with Jace. She has extremely strong feelings for Jace and somewhat idealises their relationship. Type 4s are often very attached to their romantic partners and search for an ideal partner, which I think is what we see Clary doing with Jace.
I considered typing Clary as a 6 because she is very loyal, however I think that she is more preoccupied with finding out who she is in the world than her safety. I also think she does not make her decisions based on fear and that she doesn’t really plan out her actions very much. While this could indicate that she is counterphobic I think it is more likely that she is a type 4.
Clary has a wing 5 because she is more introverted and withdrawn than a wing 3 would be.
Jace Herondale/Wayland/Morgenstern/Lightwood/whatever name he has this week: - 6w7 (cp) - 8w7 - 3w4
Jace is independent, headstrong and sarcastic. He presents himself as haughty and arrogant, but uses this attitude as a defense mechanism for his insecurites.
Despite Jace’s flippant attitude he has a strong moral core and is very dutiful. He is a very skilled fighter and takes his training seriously. Underneath his pompus exterior, Jace is hiding distinct feelings of inferiority. He is extremely self-loathing in the original trilogy and often purports things to be his fault when they are not. Jace believes that he has been fed demon blood and attributes his conflicts with this. He hates the feelings he has for Clary and blames it on being part demon. Even when all this is disproven, Jace still carries his mistakes like a burden and believes that he is defective. Some type 6s (especially counterphobic 6s, like Jace) feel like the world is ‘against’ them and I think this attitude comes across from Jace, especially earlier in the series.
Jace has very complicated feelings towards Valentine. While Valentine was abusive and is known to be evil, he is also the man who raised Jace. Jace holds onto his positive memories of Valentine, despite all the lies and abuse he suffered upon him. 6s often have complex relationships with their parental figures and they seek their support. 
Jace will fight for his issues head on and often runs straight into battle to protect the people he cares about. I think Jace is the counterphobic variant of 6, as he is more likely to show his aggression and put themselves in dangerous situations. Counterphobic 6s are also often rebellious and defiant to authority (because they don’t trust it), which is something we see in Jace. 
I considered typing Jace as an 8 because he is very assertive and values strength. However I believe that Jace is assertive and acerbic because he doesn’t trust easily. He puts walls up because he is scared of letting people in because he doesn’t want his trust to be broken. When Jace lets someone in he is very loyal and will do anything for them. 
Jace has a wing 7 becomes he is more emotionally expressive and more likely to react than a wing 5 would be.
Alec Lightwood: 1w9 - 2w1 - 6w5
Alec is principled, caring and brave. He is straightforward and doesn’t care much for pretenses.
Alec is serious and responsible. As the oldest member of his family, Alec put it upon himself to be the protector of his family. He felt that he had to be the most responsible and as a result became very dependable. Alec is extremely compliant and concerned with the rules of the Clave. 
Alec is very concerned with what others think of him. He is so scared of what his parents and friends would think of him if they found out he were gay so he kept it secret from everyone except Izzy. Alec knew since a young age he was gay, but bottled his feelings up, because the Clave said it was wrong. He was scared to go against the Clave’s laws and was worried of losing his family’s respect. 
Alec can sometimes come across as judgmental, rigid and condescending, which are common flaws of Type 1s. Underneath all that, Alec is the harshest critic on himself and he holds himself to impossible standards. Despite being very accomplished, he never thought he was good enough and would discount his successes. Alec is often afraid to make a mistake, which results in him being very careful and practical when making his decisions. 
Alec initially had a snobbish attitude and prejudice towards Downworlders, but opens up more as he interacts with them. In his relationship with Magnus, Alec becomes more carefree and loosens up a bit. He still shows insecurities within this relationship, but is able to overcome them. 
Alec has a wing 9 as he is more guarded with his emotions than a wing 2 would be. 
Magnus Bane: 7w6 - 4w3 - 9w8
Magnus is eccentric, worldly and kind. He really wants to find love and acceptance in the world.
Magnus is very flamboyant and whimsical. His personality contrasts quite distinctly with Alec’s more serious and reserved demeanour. Magnus is very open and does not compromise himself for anyone. He is inclusive and accepting of all people, having friends of all different walks of life.
Magnus enjoys a good party and seeks out experiences. As an immortal, he has had quite a storied life and has been all over the world. At times, it can seem like he doesn’t take situations very seriously and will make snarky jokes about them.
Deep down, Magnus yearns for the love and acceptance he never got from his parents. He had a difficult childhood and was not accepted by his family because he was a Downworlder. Due to this trauma, Magnus tries to repress his negative feelings and numb them with more ‘fun’ experiences. While he appears to be very open, he is actually deceptively guarded and is very hesitant to share deep and honest experiences with others. Magnus appears lively and jovial but is hiding a jaded and cynical worldview.
In his relationship with Alec, Magnus is initally the much more active party. 7s are assertive types and if they want to do something they will do it. We often see Magnus being the one to act first whereas Alec was too scared to act on his feelings for a long time. However, as time passes and their relationship becomes more public we see issues begin to form and Magnus is the one to pull away. When Magnus hears about Alec’s idea to turn him mortal, Magnus feels betrayed and breaks up with him. After their break up, Magnus is very avoidant of Alec and ignores him. This is quite typical of 7s, who hate to confront feelings. 
Magnus has a wing 6 as he is more relationship focused and personable than a 7w8.
Isabelle Lightwood: 3w2 - 6w7 - 1w2
Izzy is fierce, passionate and confident. She can come across as vain or narcissistic, but is actually very insecure and vulnerable.
Izzy is charming and magnetic. She has a quality about her which draws people in. Izzy is comfortable with her looks and will often use them as a means to get what she wants. Despite her outgoing demeanour, she is actually very distrustful and fragile. Izzy is guarded with her true feelings and is hesitant to let people know the real her. 
Izzy has a bit of an image that she has crafted of being rebellious and promiscuous to protect herself. She dated a lot and many of these dates were people her parents wouldn’t approve of. Izzy would form meaningless relationships so that she wouldn’t have to worry about forming real feelings or being hurt. She also did this in part to detract attention from Alec so her parents wouldn’t be suspicious of him.
Izzy is very protective and loyal to her friends. She loves them very deeply and is devastated whenever something bad happens to them. Izzy always tries to be there for her family and defends them with everything she has. She is particularly depressed when her brother Max dies as she blames herself for the death. She thinks that she failed him because she didn’t listen to him when he tried to tell her something was wrong. Izzy holds onto this guilt and even skipped the funeral because she felt she did not deserve to be there.
Izzy desperately wants love, but is hesitant to trust any man. Her mother confided in her when she was younger about her father’s infidelities and told her never to trust a man. As a result, Izzy is the character who takes the longest to open herself up to love. She is passionate about Simon, but is scared to love him because she thinks it will only bring her pain. 
Izzy has a wing 2 because she is more grandiose and showy than a wing 4 would be. 3w2s are generally more concerned with their outward appearances and appearing desirable compared to 3w4s.
Simon Lewis: 9w1 - 4w5 - 6w5
Simon is calm, nerdy and accepting. He is a great friend and is courageous when he needs to be.
Type 9s look for normalcy and struggle with change, which is something we see in spades with Simon. When we first meet Simon he is the only mundane character. He is the ‘normal’ one surrounded by all the magical creatures in the TMI universe. Later on, Simon is transformed into a vampire (well first he’s a rat, then he’s a Daylighter and then he’s a Shadowhunter) and longs to be normal. He resists his vampiric urges and refuses to drink from humans for an extremely long time. Simon struggled for a long time to accept this change and was worried about how it would affect his relationships with his loved ones. He desperately craved a normal life and once he became a Daylighter he tried as best as he could to lead as normal a life as possible.
Simon is non-confrontational and is afraid to share his true feelings for the fear that it might change his relationships. At the beginning of the series, he had been in love with Clary for years but never mustered up the courage to say so. He is initially very jealous of Jace and tries to get Clary not to like him. When he is dating Clary he realises her true feelings lie with Jace and ends the relationship. At his core, Simon truly cares for his friends and just wants them to be happy.
Simon is a great listener and genuinely cares about his friends feelings. He is something of a sounding board and both Clary and Izzy with both feeling very comfortable talking about their problems with him. When Max died, Izzy was able to find comfort in Simon. He listened to her and was able to give her solace and understanding. 
Simon is a people pleaser and is scared to hurt other’s feelings. Sometimes, this can lead to him making some mistakes. 9s fear conflict and will try to avoid it at all costs. They avoid saying negative things because they don’t want people to react badly or hurt their feelings. We see this in the whole mess with Maia and Izzy. I actually hate this storyline but I feel it is a good example of Simon’s general 9-ness. When Simon was dating both girls he showed the 9s indecisiveness, people-pleasing and fear of conflict. I feel that Simon wasn’t honest with either girl because he was scared of their reaction and scared of hurting their feelings. I also feel like Simon was confused in his feelings and couldn’t decide which girl was actually the one for him. 
Simon has a wing 1 because he is more repressed and uptight than a 9w8 would be. His 1 wing also influences him to want to be a ‘good’ person, which is part of why he is so upset when he becomes a vampire (which he feels is turning him into a ‘monster’). 
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Images adapted from Google
The Infernal Devices Types (x)
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nat-20s · 4 years
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i woke up at 4:30 in the morning with this messy meta about the comparative horror styles of welcome to nightvale vs the magnus archives and how i like them both very much this is not a one is better than the other post because they’re DIFFERENT but also why, personally, nightvale has freaked me out more than TMA  (the magnus archives- im gonna use the abbreviation from now on and in scientific papers u gotta ESTABLISH the acronym and it’s actually kind of annoying bc they’ll establish it ONCE in the abstract and then never say what XJFEFJDOSM or whatever stands for again so if ur like wait WHAT was that again u gotta scroll all the way back up and it’s a whole thing but I digress)   and it has to do with WORLDBUILDING and FRAMING DEVICES and USE OF SECOND PERSON and only a little bit how if a character unironically says “innit” i automatically can’t take them seriously. Anyway it’s stuck in my head so you know I had to make it your problem. Also I’m putting this under a read more bc fjsdjlks holy shit this is gonna get LONG and RAMBLY and D E E P L Y nerdy 
WORLDBUILDING, FRAMING DEVICES, AND (THE USE OF) YOU IN MANGUS AND NIGHTVALE
Part A: whose universe is it anyway? Welcome to horror where the lore is made up and the logic doesnt matter
so I am not the first or last to compare (/maybe wanna crossover a little) the worlds of
wtnv (welcome to nightvale) and TMA and like for good reason bc in many ways they feel very similar but in TMA it’s like What the FUCK is going on with all of these horrors and nightmarish scenarios I am FREAKED out where as WTNV treats it’s horrors as typically mundane which
A: plays into why when WTNV is like “remember how we’re a horror :)” it’s like OH SHIT bc if Jon Archivist is scared you’re like well yeah it’s scary out there but if CECIL PALMER, general attitude of a peppy cheerleader when facing terrors beyond imagination, is scared, you KNOW shit is FUCKED
B: isn’t entirely accurate, because I don’t actually feel like they are set in the same world. here’s where things get sticky when it comes to realities and whatnot but I do wanna stress that yes I know WTNV and TMA are both works of fictions BUT I would personally say that
TMA is set in a parallel universe:  a reality that’s similar to our own but also distinctly separate from anything that we, the audience, can witness but never participate in
WTNV is set in a hidden universe: it is set in our (the listeners) own reality, and is done in such a way that it feels like if you looked hard enough for it or if you just had a bout of bad luck or if you happen to drive down a certain road in a long stretch of US desert (side note: if there’s any real life place nightvale would be set in it’s definitely new mexico have you ever been in new mexico it’s called land of ENCHANTMENT for a reason if I drove into new mexico and drove back out a few days later and like THIRTY YEARS had passed I’d be like yeah that tracks) that you could end up in the reality of nightvale. Who’s to say there’s not a faceless old woman secretly living in your house? Are you sure there’s nothing odd in your mirror? Who can ever be sure time is working correctly?
Which brings me to
Part B: You(yes, you!)’ve Been Framed!
Listen. I fucking love a good framing device. Every time a podcast is like “here’s why the events of the story are recorded in the world of the story” I go bonkers in yonkers that shit SLAPS. TMA and WTNV both do this, but (at least up to ep 176 of TMA, this whole fuckin essay could still be blown out the water) TMA’s framing device doesn’t account for an audience, where as WTNV’s the audience is a core component
the framing device of TMA is that these spooky stories are being recorded by an archivist in order to have an audio version of written statements. Cool! It tells the audience why these recordings exist, and why they’re episodic. Later in the story, the tapes begin to spontaneously show up because of Spooky Reasons that have yet to be Fully Revealed, but it still isn’t for an audience. When Jon Archivist records these tapes, they’re basically being recorded for a Void. Yes, the tapes are originally for a potential researcher to listen to, but that ain’t you chief. You are not part of the narrative (so far at least! Again, maybe the audience will be brought into the story when it’s revealed What’s Up with the spontaneous tapes, but so far nah), there’s no in universe explanation for why you personally are listening to these stories. You aren’t present in the story, in the framing device, so you are not a part of that world.
The framing device of WTNV is that you are tuning into the community radio of a small desert town, Nightvale, that you are a part of. After all, if you are tuning into something local, you’re strongly implied to be local. Thus, we have a framing device that explains both why it’s recorded AND why you’re listening. The audience is absolutely involved in the narrative rather than a simple spectator. Cecil Palmer is not recording into a Void, he’s talking to listeners of which you are a part of. (side note: this makes nightvale liveshows SUPER fun if u get an opportunity to go to one I HIGHLY recommend it bc while there’s not ‘audience participation’ in the classic sense of like magic or comedy acts the narrative IS constructed in a way that you feel less like a witness of a story and more of a participant like the one I went to most of us pulled our legs onto out chair bc oh SHIT maybe there IS an escaped librarian under your chair making a grab for your feet SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF IS FUN AS HELL YALL)
These framing devices are enforced and enhanced upon by who the “you” in a narrative is.
In TMA, when there’s a “you” being referred to, when there’s a listener, it’s usually an in universe character. When there’s lines like “i’m sorry, that’s not what you came here to listen to” it’s not referring to you personally, it’s talking to Jon Archivist or Gertrude Archivist or Insert Archival Assistant. When TMA does use a more general “you”, it’s still in universe rather than the external listening to audience. You can include yourself as part of that general you, but it’s not inherently built into the narrative. If you want to distance yourself, you can also do that. You are not automatically in this world, even if much of it feels repeatable and/or similar
WTNV sometimes uses you to refer to an in universe character, because conversations do happen, but in the episodes where it’s like LMAO THIS IS A HORROR, the “you” and general second person is actively both discussing a known character and the listener personally. One of the most recent episodes, ep 171 “Go to the Mirror?” is a BRILLIANT example of this, where Cecil is simultaneously discussing himself and his experiences AND you as well. There’s something he can only see in the mirror, something with such sharp claws, on his shoulders, but it’s also something you personally can only see in the mirror, something on your shoulder.  You are not exempt from the story, you can’t be exempt from the story, because you’ve always been a part of it. (Also side note go to the mirror is SO fuckign good it made my heart fuckin POUND the amount of times that despite knowing it was fiction I looked over my shoulder so many times. I know a shit ton of people listened to WTNV in like 2012/13 and dropped off and felt guilty and never caught up again but like. Catch up on nightvale it’s good for body and soul and also Cecilos just keep winning)
WAY too long; didn’t read: to me personally while I LOVE both TMA and WTNV, WTNV is scarier to be because TMA feels like a story that you’re bearing witness to (also thank god british people aren’t real and were made up for the Peppa Pig Cinematic Universe), WTNV feels not just like a story that you could be in but actively already are and that makes things SPOOKY
Also this isn’t related to the essay but shout out to whoever first decided that horror narrators should have nice even voices we really all be soothed by some grisly ass stories the amount of people that fall asleep to WTNV/TMA is WILD
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potteryclaylover · 3 years
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Life Lessons I Learnt From Seagulls
Seagulls are the most inspirational creatures in my opinion. If I owned a sporting team of any sort, a seagull would be my mascot. Why? They’re the perfect combination of beauty, strong-will, friendliness and confidence. Though i personally never watched any seagull bird from close , but i love to watch bird from distance because i dont want to disturb their  peace. But it always feel me with positive when i see group of birds eating , flying and all their activity. It is best therapy for me and its from very earlier .
Who of us has not wondered, at some point in life, if we really are living to our fullest potential? That we are really experiencing all that we are capable of experiencing?Every human being has been given the capacity to live abundantly, without boundaries. But the scope of this freedom is too large for most of us. We cringe from the vastness of all that is possible. We prefer to hide behind artificial limitations instead.
We hear of the frog in the pond that steadfastly refuses to believe that there were limitless oceans out there. For him, his pond is all that there is in the world. We also hear of the worm in the apple who believes that the whole world is its apple, nothing more.
Some of you may be familiar with the famous book Jonathon Livingston Seagull written by Richard Bach. A tale about a seagull who has dreams of being a better version of himself and flying higher and faster than any gull has ever dared before. Cast out by the flock for being different he goes off on his spiritual quest to discover his full potential. Does any of this resonate with you by any chance?
In real life many people hate seagulls. Maybe you do too. Are they the thugs of the bird world? Pests to be poisoned and driven out? Let’s be honest they have a terrible reputation because they are noisy and fearless they can appear aggressive and given the chance they will steal your food.
This little ode to seagulls may seem peculiar to you but as a result of long hours of observing them for days, I realized that inspiration can come from the simplest of things.
Have you ever heard of the expression ‘thinking out of the box?’ It means going beyond the accepted limits of imagination and daring to explore new possibilities. Jonathan Livingston Seagull was such an out-of-the-box thinker.
He discovered that for those who dare to dream, even the sky is not the limit. Jonathan lived as all seagulls do – in a flock. This flock was quite unremarkable. Seagulls are basically scavengers that inhabit the seashore, feeding off the debris that the sea throws out. Like all other seagulls, the members of this flock fed, bred and flew south in the cold winter months.
My love for these tiny birdies increased many folds when they actually taught me some valuable life lessons.
1. Don’t be afraid to stand against the wind
Look at this little fellow. He’s tiny and the wind that day was so strong even I was having trouble standing. He could just turn around and fly in the direction of the wind. But he stood his ground accepting the challenge.
Lesson: No matter how much friction you’re facing in being different or being yourself, don’t let it make you turn around in the direction of the wind.
2. Sometimes it’s good to go with the flow
If someone knows how to chill and take it easy, its the seagulls. They’ve taught me to not ALWAYS take life so seriously. That we can’t control each and every aspect of it. Sometimes you just have to let life unfold itself. See where the current takes you.
After all what’s the fun in knowing it all?
3. Evolve with your life situations
Seagulls are the masters of improvising and adapting to their circumstances. They can swim, fly or walk around depending on their need. We as humans have to realize that we are more equipped than a seagull. We have better means, internal and external, to adhere to our circumstances. We just need to be as strong-willed and easy going as a seagull.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a simple story with a profound message.
The message is that we can all be so much more than we believe, or are given to believe. That God – or fortune, if you wish – is on the side of the bold, the adventurous and the free in spirit.
Have you ever heard of the expression ‘thinking out of the box?’ It means going beyond the accepted limits of imagination and daring to explore new possibilities. Jonathan Livingston Seagull was such an out-of-the-box thinker.
He discovered that for those who dare to dream, even the sky is not the limit. Jonathan lived as all seagulls do – in a flock. This flock was quite unremarkable. Seagulls are basically scavengers that inhabit the seashore, feeding off the debris that the sea throws out. Like all other seagulls, the members of this flock fed, bred and flew south in the cold winter months.
But Jonathan sensed, in the core of his being, that there could be more to life. Much more.
4. Never be afraid to ask for your right
Anyone who has had a meal by the beach knows that the seagulls will come flocking around for their share. They are not afraid to ask for it. They’ll stand by staring at you persistently until you go, ‘oh well alright, have a chip.’
Deep in its communal heart, the flock knew that it was living below its full potential. It consoled itself with a vaguely remembered Promise, passed down various generations of seagulls. That Promise spoke of a Great Seagull – a supernaturally gifted bird that would come and deliver it from the chains of self-imposed mediocrity.
The Great Seagull was supposed to have secrets of limitless flight and a superior existence.
That discovering the Great Seagull’s secrets could have been the result of diligent effort and seeking did not occur to these seagulls. They preferred to put the responsibility of their future on a Being which they did not understand and did not try to emulate. The Great Seagull, however, did not come.
But maybe – just maybe – every seagull in that flock sometimes wondered if it was they were missing the point of this legend …
Jonathan had heard of the Great Seagull, of course. It meant nothing to him, but there was a question that did haunt him – the question that haunts us all when we have nothing to distract ourselves with. The question we ask ourselves when, for some reason or the other, we find ourselves sleepless at night.
Can I fly higher? Can I fly farther? Is there more?
The flock asked itself no such questions. The mundane preoccupations of life had them too much in thrall to consider deeper questions. But Jonathan knew that he could drink deeper of life than they did.
One day, he announced that he intended to fly higher and further than any seagull before him. The effect of his words on the flock was interesting, to say the least:
“Seagulls are not meant to fly higher than this,” is what they said. “What makes you think you’re different from us?”
That is the persistence and determination you and I need in your daily life. Ask for that promotion at work. Ask for the love and attention in a relationship. You deserve it.
5. It’s your character that makes you beautiful
Seagulls are not camera shy and are always ready to strike a pose. The poker face is their favourite. There are thousands of exquisite birds in the world but what made me fall in love with seagulls is their character. Sure they are nice to look at but it’s their confidence, strength and playful persona that makes them beautiful.
Jonathan’s answer was that he was not content with mediocrity, especially if he knew that he could attain greater heights. The rest of the flock became very angry with him – they called him a dreamer who did not know the realities of life. When he insisted on pursuing his vision, they cast him out of the flock.
Doesn’t this ring a bell in most of our minds? Doesn’t it remind us of times when we have been told – or even told ourselves – that we should realize our limits? Well, who sets those limits?
The human being has limited capabilities – but then, we only think of the capabilities we have actually demonstrated. We never think of the possibility of hidden capabilities that never see the light of day because they are not called upon.
Have you never heard of the true-life stories of people who overcame impossible odds – achieved impossible tasks – when they stopped relying solely on what they knew about themselves?
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, that anonymous bird in an anonymous flock, decided that he wanted to claim the Promise now. He wanted the power to fly higher than he had ever flown, to see sights he had never seen.
He decided that if the Great Seagull was real enough and powerful enough, it would help him achieve these goals in the Here and Now. Not in some vaguely conceived Hereafter, but in real time. In this present lifetime.
Did he turn to the Great Seagull in prayer? Or did he just draw inspiration from the fact that such a Seagull could and did exist? Richard Bach’s book remains silent on this issue. But from the moment Jonathan decided to claim the Promise, his life changed drastically.
Are you now waiting for the part where Jonathan was suddenly given miraculous spiritual and physical powers to make his dreams of impossible flight come true? Sorry, that is not what happened…
Instead, Jonathan’s belief in the Promise convinced him that the power to achieve his dream would be given to him if he put in diligent effort. He was a changed bird – he suddenly felt that he was no longer alone. And so he practiced flying higher. It was a painstaking process, but something had changed.
He no longer despaired when he considered his feeble seagull wings. He no longer doubted when he considered the fact that no seagull had ever flown as high as he wanted to fly.
This new-found assurance was not what is commonly known as ‘self-confidence’. It was confidence in something beyond him – a Higher Power, if you will. He called it the Great Seagull. Some call it God. But whatever we call it, it is a Power outside of ourselves. We cannot generate it, but we can still claim it.
And guess what? Jonathan Livingston Seagull soared. He eventually flew higher than any seagull ever had. And he finally met the Great Seagull.
Yes, he actually met the legendary Being. He basked in its approval and was given the power and privilege to lead others from the barren, empty path of self-effort to a mind-bogglingly rewarding partnership with Something Better.
I have a feeling that the human version of seagulls would have an amazing sense of humour as well.
Lesson learnt: Put your self out there. Have enough self-confidence to know and exhibit your good qualities and know that you’re beautiful just the way you are.
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kb-chang · 3 years
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Countless Reminiscences
Word Count: 1558
Short 1: A Perfect Chapter
        As I tread past the many paths we followed, I am reminded of the bittersweet memories that I have tried so desperately to suppress. It’s almost as if the world guides me back to this point in my life. Maybe it’s because the way we left off wasn’t to my liking, maybe because I held so much regret during that time, or maybe it’s just that time of year where I feel a great sense of nostalgia. No matter the reason, I hate this state that I am in. I don’t want to be hindered anymore. I just want to continue to live my days without regret. And despite all my efforts, our shared memories forcibly place themselves back in my head.
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        It was during my most pitiful days, that you showed up in my life. I guess I lacked what you would call a clear path or goal. I was seriously in a slump. Not that I was struggling financially; I had a steady income and was supposedly able to ‘take care of myself.’ But I’d be a fool to say my life wasn’t mundane. I followed a strict and very sensible schedule during that time. I would wake up at 6:00 to shower and have a quick breakfast before I headed to the office around 8:15, 15 minutes before most of my coworkers would arrive. I’m not even trying to boast about being punctual. It was just a habit I had developed through college. I’d return home from work at around 8:00 and prepare my own dinner by 9:30. I placed little importance in my health before I had met her, and so naturally I didn’t look the greatest either. 
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        Her entrance into my life was so sudden that I had no time to adjust or react to anything that she had propelled onto me. Immediately I had started to look out for my own health and started living a healthier lifestyle. It was then that I realized I didn’t enjoy my career at that time. I had realized that there was no point to working there if I didn’t truly enjoy it. I had thought taking on more work was the proper thing to do for my coworkers and everyone else in the office. It was the lifestyle that she brought upon me that I had truly appreciated. In fact, my appreciation for it was what led to our separation. After the grand entrance of Sally, I no longer felt the passion or fire. Soon after that I had sought for someone else who could replicate that same feeling Sally had given me. It was after I had made my gravest of all mistakes that I realized, I didn’t deserve anything Sally had given me. Ever since she left that day, I have slowly dwindled back into my former self. Perhaps it is better to maintain a proper and regular lifestyle. Perhaps my experience with Sally was only a small chapter of my life, quite a splendid one at that. 
Short 2: A Summer Day’s Longing
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        It felt just like yesterday that I could hear the sizzling pan, smell the wonderful fragrance that was my grandmas’ cooking as I ran back from the forest to her house. My tumbling footsteps were much too audible as I sprinted as fast I could through the forest to satiate my hunger. As I approached the dining table, there would be a wonderful and breathtaking meal waiting for me. Even till this day, I believe my grandma had the potential to open a Michelin star restaurant. The best thing about her cooking was that the presentation wasn’t even the slightest of her concern. Her focus was solely on the taste and for that, I am still grateful. Till this day, I remember the explosion of flavours in my mouth. A good portion of my youth was spent pondering around and bugging my grandma. It was truly a time where I didn’t have a single worry, a time where I can freely enjoy spending time with my family during the hot and bright summers. She lived in a rural area of Kyoto, so I had lots of freedom to explore the wilderness.
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        It has already been five years since her passing. I never imagined her passing would come so soon. It was the day I had finished my college entrance exams. I had just left the testing site, knees still shaking, stomach still turning. It was undeniably the most nerve racking day of my life. Having passed just the second week of January, it was still quite cold in Tokyo. Luckily at that time, I had the scarf my grandmother had knitted for me. It was just as I had taken the first step outside the exam site gates that I received the call. I simply thought I saved myself the trouble of having to call my parents to let them know of my performance in the exam, but soon I found out it was something entirely different. For the first few seconds, I could hear nothing but the heavy and disoriented pattern of my fathers’ breath. It wasn’t until my father had said my name over the phone that I had realized, bad news was coming. Before I knew it, my body collapsed on the campus ground. Distant voices started growing closer. Although at the time, I couldn’t entirely hear it, but I have reason to believe they were asking, “are you okay?” In that instant, everything around me became a blur, nothing could clearly register into my brain. The only thing I felt in that moment was immense regret and crippling pain in my heart. Words simply wouldn’t come out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to assure everyone around me I was okay, I just couldn’t manage to say anything. 
        After postponing many times with my grandma, I was so determined to finish strongly on my entrance exams, so I could properly spend time with my grandma. In the end, my postponing all went to waste. In those brief and sudden moments, something felt hollow inside me. Despite that being a very excruciating time in my life, I can confidently say I have learned a lesson from it. For the things that you truly value and love, do not let it go to waste, do not waste any time. Instead, cherish it and protect it. It just so happened that for me, it was my grandmother that I had truly cherished and loved.  
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Short 3: Anticipation of Spring’s Day
Prologue
        “Are you certain there won’t be any complications? Even though you have gained the support of his majesty, I feel as though other clans won’t sit by and remain indifferent." 
        Reaching over, General Xiao grabs his wife's hand with assurance. “My wife, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If Lixiong is truly unhappy with our progressions, then we can arrange a discussion between the two of us. Besides, if I couldn’t handle a little inconvenience, we wouldn’t be where we are today, would we?” 
        “Father, I am finished with my studies for today. If you have any free time, I would love to learn more about your swordsmanship!” 
        Laughter filled the room “If you were more talented in your physical strength or stamina, I would gladly teach you. However Baiyun, I wish for you to grow up living for yourself, not for me or anyone else. Clearly you are gifted in your studies, and as a father I couldn’t be more proud. Both mother and I, and everyone within our clan believes your future will grow to be very promising”. 
        While the Xiao family concluded their day, the winter making its first apparent night, Xiao could not wait for the future he had envisioned for his family. However, the clan had other plans for that very night. Faint and nimble footsteps filled the lands of  Mong Yue. No tread to be heard. No footprint to be discovered. No figures to be seen. Within five minutes of their arrival, the entire area was marked and surrounded by members of the Yunchong clan. Despite the Xiao family’s recent success and progressions, they were still considered to be a smaller and less respectable clan. As fortunate they were recently, their vulnerability was too conspicuous to be ignored. The leader of the Yunchong clan had decided to take advantage of that night. 
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10 years later
        That spring night was the last time I could ever listen to my fathers’ endless stories, my mothers heavenly laugh, and the lively activities that went on in my clan grounds. It was a swift and efficient sweep of our clan grounds. Any resistance against the Yunchong clan was futile that night. Not a day goes by without me reminding myself of the horrors that occurred that night. It’d be violating our clan name to simply call the Yunchong clans’ actions unjust. Screams filled the air, red stained the grass, fires erupted from each family house. Some would say my survival was a miracle, a one in million chance. Through these past ten years, I have never ceased the chance to carry out my vengeance. I am well prepared for the consequences. I have had to live my life devoid of family. Each day passes slowly as I anticipate your last spring night. I’ll always be watching from afar, waiting for your most vulnerable state. 
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Works Cited
“Flavors of Youth: Aesthetic Food, Food and Drink, Food.” Pinterest, 27 July 2020, www.pinterest.ca/pin/555772410264018942/.
“Joe Hisaishi - Summer.” YouTube, YouTube, 16 Jan. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0GN40EL1VU. 
https://www.gettyimages.ca/videos/salarymen?phrase=salarymen&sort=mostpopular
“Spring Night.” Desktop Nexus Wallpapers, anime.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1374911/. 
“HD Wallpaper: Eyes Illustration, Anger, Haze, Hatred, Darkness, Black Color.” HD Wallpaper: Eyes Illustration, Anger, Haze, Hatred, Darkness, Black Color | Wallpaper Flare, www.wallpaperflare.com/eyes-illustration-anger-haze-hatred-darkness-black-color-wallpaper-qaoty. 
“Eric周興哲《其實你並沒那麼孤單 You Are Not Alone》Official Music Video.” 15 June 2020. 
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The Team
Under the cut are profiles of all the team’s members.
The Team doesn’t really have a name- in their own eyes, they’re just a group of people who want to help others. At the present time, there are eleven members of the team. Five of them are full-time active members, meaning they’ll respond to any type of danger at any time. These members are Cobalt Hunter, Honorstar, Silver Seer, Chlorothorn, and Kingdom Animalia. Three of them are part-time active members, meaning they’re being actively trained to fight, and they can come along on some calls. These members are Langley and Lyndon, the twins, and Zilla. One of them, Dr. Malcolm, is a full-time support member; he stays at the base, or nearby but not right at the fight or danger, as a support for Kingdom Animalia. The last two members, Spectre and Serena, are too young to fight, and are only part of the team because they have nowhere else to go.
Compared to the Safeguard Coalition, whose hub is located in Prosper City, The Team are more of a family; they all live in the same building, each having their own apartment but sharing common areas, and they all know each other’s secret identities. There’s a silent trust between all of them. 
In terms of principles, The Team prioritizes citizen safety and limiting collateral damage. They have a no-kill policy against the criminals or villains they fight, as long as they’re living or sentient beings. If they have to let a bank robber get away in order to save civilians, they’ll let the robber go; stolen money is not as important as people’s lives.
Cobalt Hunter/Grace Kearney (She/her) 
Part time museum curator, part time superhero, and part time team mom. Grace is the most responsible person on the team, and the official leader. She’s the one who makes the important decisions for the team, though she does take everyone’s opinions into account. Because she has the most demanding day job out of all of them, she makes sure that chores around the apartment building are organized and delegated to the others. Taking care of Spectre and Serena is also her self-appointed job, because the rest of the adults on the team just don’t understand very much about child care. She may not have superpowers like everyone else on the team, but she’s skilled at what she does and strikes fear into the heart of the criminals the team faces. 
Abilities: Professionally trained in archery, self-defense, and mixed martial arts since childhood; her strongest skill is her archery. Like many unpowered superheroes, she relies on technologically enhanced gadgets to fight powered supervillains. She has many types of lethal and non-lethal arrows, and her bow itself is customized for additional functions. 
Other skills: While archery is her main skill, she can also hold her own in CQC for some time, and she’s super beefy. A good understanding of technology; she can’t create her own gadget arrows but she can repair them. She’s very organized and has a good eye for detail. Though Casey, Honorstar, is the frontman of the team, Cobalt Hunter is also known to answer questions from the press and public; she isn’t as charismatic as Casey is, but she knows how to talk to people and lead conversations where she wants them to go.
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Honorstar/Casey Lebeau (They/them) 
28 year old professional superhero, and spiritually the leader of the team. The main chef and general housekeeper, Casey inherited a great sum of money from both their parents and their two aunts (and their husbands), who never had kids of their own. There was no one tragic accident that killed their family; there was sickness, accidents, a suicide. Casey was 3 when they became an orphan, and 17 when all their aunts and uncles died. Still, they stay positive, knowing death has a place in the world, and defying it only brings darkness. Maybe it’s the loneliness of having no family, or the feeling of responsibility they have from their powers, but Casey’s compassion is shown on their sleeve, taking in strays, and working to save the innocent. 
Abilities: Superhuman, either from birth or something else, Casey doesn’t know. They have super strength, speed, stamina, healing ability, resilience, and dexterity. 
Other skills: Good at cooking and cleaning. Able to organize small to medium groups of people; enjoys being an emotional support for other people.
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Zilla (They/them) 
 Zilla is a 15 year old former homeless kid, passed through the foster system like a library book until they ran away. They were saved by Honorstar from a battle they got caught in, and given a place to live with the rest of the team. Zilla isn’t very talkative, but as long as someone else is carrying the conversation, they’ll keep up. They’re still working on building up their social skills, after being alone for most of their life. They enjoy reading all types of books, and watching movies with the other team members. Somewhat defensive still, they quickly grew protective of the team as well- they’re the first real family that Zilla has ever had. 
Abilities: Can shapeshift into a monstrous, 10 foot tall, semi-anthropomorphic crocodilian, gaining the jaw strength, sharp teeth, powerful legs, and large lung capacity that are common to crocodilians. 
Other skills: Fairly strong even when not transformed; skilled but untrained in close combat fights without transforming, able to take on a few untrained fighters by themself. They’re resourceful and have a good sense of spatial awareness.
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Kingdom Animalia/King (He/him, but he doesn’t care he’s a dog) 
King is a dog. He’s a good boy. He enjoys chasing ducks but he isn’t allowed to do it because Warren says it’s Mean. He likes to be a gecko when he’s at work with Warren. Warren and Casey tell King to be a human when strangers ask him questions. He has to pretend to be a human like mom dogs pretend to fight puppies when they play. King is not great at pretending to be a human, but he tries his best, and he gets pets when he makes bad guys go in cages or helps not-bad guys get away from danger. King likes helping humans even when he doesn’t get pets. They make happy sounds, and King likes that. 
Abilities: King is able to shapeshift into other animals. Without direction, he doesn’t have much of a use for it, but with Dr. Malcolm’s helping telepathy, King can use his abilities to aid the rest of the team in fights and rescues. 
Other skills: Very pettable, very cuddly, good at doing tricks for treats. King is good at search-and-rescue in his true form, and he’s the very best on the team for cheering up the other team members. He is a dog, and has all the usual dog skills that come with being a dog.
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Dr. Warren Malcolm (He/him) 
 A 38 year old pharmacist with a kind and selfless heart. He worked with the team for a while before actually joining them, giving them medications they needed even without an actual prescription- It may be against the law, but it wasn’t harming anyone else, and it was saving lives. Once he rescued King, he moved in with the team and joined them full time as King’s “handler”. He’s the oldest person on the team, and his age shows. He doesn’t understand the video games the kids play, not for lack of trying. He prefers working with analogue technology where possible. He likes to read and do logic and word puzzles in his free time. He volunteers at various animal shelters and other animal facilities when he isn’t busy, using his ability to figure out what might need to change for an animal’s comfort. 
Abilities: Animal telepathy. For animals he’s unfamiliar with, he can only reach them from nearby. Animals he’s familiar with, he can reach them from a little bit further. Animals that he’s familiar with and they’re familiar with him and trust him, he can reach them from quite a distance. Animals in distress often unknowingly reach him. 
Other skills: As a doctor of pharmacology, Warren has more medical skills than anyone else on the team, and a better understanding of microbiology. As such, he’s often the team’s first contact for any sort of medical care. He’s a fairly logically-minded person, as well. He’s handy with a toolbox, too.
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Silver Seer/Jordan Sun 
Jordan… Isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He struggled in school, not for lack of trying, but seriously, school was so boring. His lack of academic success may seem ironic, given his superpowers are of the mental variety. However, his personal interests fall on the more physical side of things. Jordan is a bit of a gym rat and enjoys other physical activities too. He’s outgoing and playful, he gets along well with the younger members of the team. He tries to be responsible and do chores and help cook, but sometimes he just drops the ball. He’s good at focusing! But only on some things. 
Abilities: At the present time, he has many abilities, but they aren’t very powerful. He has prophetic dreams, glimpses of the future in his waking moments, and with strong enough concentration, he can purposefully see up to a few minutes into the future. He has sharp intuition; even without exact images, he can tell when something bad is about to happen, or feel when something is wrong either with a person or an object. He can see illusions for what they are, and can also tell if another person is under the effects of mind control. He himself is resistant to mind control, as well as possession and unwanted telepathic or empathetic readings or projections. With a willing target, he can make a telempathic connection between them or a few people; they can share thoughts and emotions with words, images, and other sensory projections. His strongest mental ability is his telekinesis. With his mind, he can exert twice the amount of force as his physical body; given he routinely strength trains, his telekinesis can reach almost incredible power. 
Other skills: Jordan is the mundanely strongest person on the team. With a history in school-level track and field, he also has good physical coordination and team coordination skills. He’s pretty self-sufficient; when he was living alone, he cooked most of his meals and learned how to do his chores.
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Chlorothorn/Project Dryad Subject 14/ “Clair” (She/her) 
 Technically 5 years old, her mental and physical age resembles that of a human in their mid 20s. As her assigned name suggests, Clair was the 14th experiment in a larger project designed to create creatures using both animal and plant DNA. After escaping the laboratory, she met Casey, and agreed to live in his building. She enjoys all types of media, learning more about what humans are like through observation, and learning more about the world in general. She has a desire to protect life, which made her very suitable to join the team’s active roster. 
Abilities: Created as a human-plant hybrid, Clair has a humanoid body structure and face, the ability to speak, and a heart, lungs, and nervous system. Her plant DNA, however, mixed with the rapid cell generation chamber that was used to create her, gave her many plant-like traits, and abilities beyond the capacity of any normal human or plant. Her skin can absorb sunlight for photosynthesis, her arms and legs are made of many intertwined woody vines that she can extend and retract at will, and she doesn’t feel pain the same way humans do. She heals relatively easily, as her body’s structures are fairly simple, and she is sustained by a mainly liquid diet. 
Other skills: Clair has excellent short- and long-term memory and recall. She has knowledge of a lot of subjects, and learns more every day. She doesn’t have many talents as she hasn’t had much opportunity to attend classes, but she’s kind and polite and always brings a sense of cheer to the apartments.
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Langley & Lyndon (Both he/him) 
These 18 year old identical twins consider each other their best friend in the world, even if they don’t always get along. They share their looks, their games, and the experience of a disaster that would change their life forever.
Langley Hayes 
Hardworking and dedicated, Langley never fails to get a job done, big or small. He’s somewhat more outgoing than his brother, preferring the company of many to the silence of solitude. Currently working at warehouse part time, and on the back-up roster of the team, Langley isn’t shy about showing his emotions or goofing around, often entertaining the younger kids. 
Abilities: Gravity manipulation, in the simplest terms. He can increase, decrease, or change the direction of the gravity in an area around him, and after some practice he’s nearly able to reach zero gravity. He may or may not use his powers outside of combat or emergencies, despite his brother’s lectures on being careful and not exposing himself as a super. 
Other talents: He has mad video game strats. He enjoys skateboarding, excels at math in school, and handles himself well in social situations. He can also handle spicy food very well for an Irish heritage white person.
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Lyndon Hayes 
Responsible, dependable, considerate; Lyndon strives to be a good teammate and friend, but often indulges in fun and rebellious activities. Nothing too dangerous, though. Danger and fun can’t coexist, for Lyndon, though he does admit that the battles with the team are fun after the fact. He’s less socially-driven than his brother, able to enjoy some time alone to play video games, watch whatever holds his attention at the time, read a book, or come up with stories. 
Abilities: Magnetism. Though at first only able to pick up metal objects without actually holding onto it, Lyndon has trained himself to be able to use his power to attract magnetic objects from a distance, repel magnetic things from him, or attract or repel magnetic objects from a point of his choice. Though not yet strong enough to, say, bend a steel beam, he’s able to manipulate magnetic material through careful and precise magnetic forces. 
Other skills: Creative in his thinking, one of the top students in his physics class, and good at managing his emotions. He’s a good cook, one of the best on the team at explaining things to the kids in a way they understand, and he’s learned how to quickly read the team’s moods.
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Serena 
Only nine years old, Serena lives with the team. Her powers manifested when she was young, out of desperation and fear. She used them to run away, and she ended up alone in Prosper. She met Grace by chance, and went to live at the apartment building with the rest of the team. She spends most of her days at home, learning from workbooks that Grace brings her and hanging out with whoever else is home. 
Abilities: Intangibility including invisibility and gravity immunity. Without a physical body she doesn't need to eat, drink, or breathe, and doesn't feel heat or cold. She’s immune to any physical effect, most magical effects, and some psychic effects. She also can’t have any physical effect on the world in this state, however. 
Other skills: She’s a little bit above average in education for her age, and she especially enjoys language arts and nature studies. She’s trained with Grace to learn some self-defense moves, and they plan to move onto offensive attacks soon. For someone her age, she holds conversations with adults well, even if she’s a bit shy.
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Spectre (He/him) 
A six year old boy with a sad past that haunts him. Quiet and somewhat shy, it takes him a while to warm up to people. Because of his powers and his past, he has trouble sleeping when he’s alone, and tends to stick around familiar and trusted people as often as possible. He likes Pokemon, toy cars, bunnies, video games, and yogurt. He doesn’t like taking three vitamin pills every morning, or the permanent scarring to his throat, or that he might leave his body whenever he sleeps, or bees. 
Abilities: His soul and body exist with only a weak bond, letting his soul leave his body. He can possess and control other people for short amounts of time, as long as the target doesn’t have a very strong psyche, a lot of willpower, or some other protection against possession, mind control, or ‘ghosts’. While his soul is outside of his body, his cells go into a state of stasis, preserving his body until his soul's return. 
Other skills: He’s like 6 he doesn’t need to have other skills. He’s good at colouring inside the lines, though.
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CREDITS
Picrews used: Jordan, Langley & Lyndon, Zilla; Warren; Spectre; Casey; Clair; King; Grace; Serena
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cssns · 5 years
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Hello everyone! We are BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
It is that time again! Time for the monthly roundup for July and to look ahead to what’s coming up in August! 
So y’all buckle up! We will start with those fics and art that dropped in July, then highlight the MC’s that updated in July. We will end the post with what we have to look forward to for the rest of the event! We had some INCREDIBLE fics and art drop in July and we have a lot more to look forward to in August! Make sure and let the authors and artists know how much you’re enjoying their hard work!!! So without further ado, HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
@snowbellewells started us off this month with Face to Face in the Broad Daylight, a sequel to her CSSNS submission from last year, Run to Me (In the Dead of Night). Beautiful artwork by @branlovestowrite! Rated T with 4 chapters so far.
@thejollyroger-writer gave us Love After Death: The Afterlife Hotel. A one shot and a bit of a different take on the soulmate trope with absolutely perfect artwork by @captainsjedi.
Emma Swan has spent sixty years in the afterlife believing she was never going to meet her real soulmate, after believing in the wrong name tattooed on her wrist. But when she keeps seeing the same new guest of the Afterlife Hotel around, might she be able to learn how to love again? Rated T
@gingerchangeling presented us with Luck of the Irish with lovely artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke
Emma needs parent volunteer hours. So she offers to chaperon Henry's upcoming field trip to the museum. Its just a pack of prepubescent angst ridden children, an exhibit about dead people, and a rock used in blood sacrifices with a curse carved into it. What's the worst that could happen? Rated M with 1 chapter so far.
@jarienn972 gave us A Simple Spell with beautiful artwork by @cocohook38
This story is my entry into the 2019 Captain Swan Supernatural Summer event and is my first venture into AU territory. Storybrooke remains our setting but I've switched up some of the characters and familial relations to better suit this tale of prodigal witch Emma who returns to her birthplace to learn lots of secrets about herself and cast a spell that could change everything. Rated T with 3 chapters so far.
@profdanglaisstuff presented us with The Very Witching Time with incredible  artwork by @gingerchangeling and extra artwork by @mariakov81.
Emma Swan is a hereditary witch, last in a long line of wise women who for centuries have guarded the coast of Maine and the small village of Storybrooke with their homemade cures and their ancient magic. She holds the delicate balance between magic and mundane, but now that balance is threatened by a new foe, one capable of bringing an end to everything Emma is and everything she loves. To defeat it she will need all her power, help from her friends and neighbours, and the loyalty of a very unusual dog who answers to the name of Killian. Rated M with 3 of 4 chapters so far.
@searchingwardrobes gave us An Education in Southern Gothic with some seriously spooky artwork by @hollyethecurious
Fact: there’s a graveyard between the football field and the science building. Debatable: a ghost haunts the halls of Misthaven Hills High. Emma Swan is about to get an education. Killian Jones is about to get a whole lot more. Rated T COMPLETE
@spartanguard presented us with Sick of Love with lovely artwork by @sherlockianwhovian
If Emma’s not careful, she just might bump into her soulmate. Physically. And while she might like the idea of what comes with that—an almost psychic connection whenever they make skin contact—she’d rather not deal with the awful withdrawal sickness that can come when they inevitably leave her; she’s got a son, so she doesn’t have time for that. So she keeps herself covered and thinks she’ll be okay. Until she meets Killian, who does the same thing. Will their barriers protect them, or just hurt them more? Rated M with 2 of 3 chapters so far.
@snidgetsafan gave us Whom the Gods Love Die Young with beautiful artwork by @tennant-the-tigger
The bride bit into the shiny red apple as everyone cheered around her, the wedding ceremony ending with this ritual gesture. The clapping and hurrahs soon turned to screams of horror as Snow dropped the apple, choking and clutching her throat as she fell in her groom’s arms, a last I love you leaving her lips before she died, David’s screams the loudest of all.
David and Emma travel to the Underworld to claim back Snow after her untimely death. In order to do so, they're going to have to face the dark and mysterious God of the Underworld and complete his challenges.
Seems simple enough until you add magic, divine quarrels, and the worst thing of all: feelings. Rated G (for the moment) with one chapter so far
@snowbellewells gave us a second fic this month as well! A Story Told at Last with gorgeous artwork by @branlovestowrite
Historical Literature Professor Henry Mills has the chance of a lifetime before him. He might finally uncover the truth of a folktale that has intrigued him for years. But, when the whole story comes to light, will he be able to accept the story that needs to be told? Rated T with a prologue so far and two parts yet to come.
@thejollyroger-writer gifted us a second fic this month too! What Happened in Berkshire. Artwork coming soon by @captainsjedi.
When Emma’s boyfriend leaves her for the woman he’s been cheating with, she accepts an offer from her hospital to move to England. While she is out celebrating her thirtieth birthday with her friends before they head back to America, she drunkenly kisses the statue of Captain Hook in front of Eton College, and he comes to life. Together, he and Emma try to figure out what this curse means for them by searching for the witch that cursed him in the first place — are they really True Love, as he wants to believe they are, or did Emma’s magic go awry? Rated G with one chapter so far. Part 2 coming soon.
We also had original art drop from @eastwesthomeisbest called The Love of the Samodiva Pts1 and 2.
In Bulgarian folklore Samodiva is an ethereal female wood nymph. She is unearthly beautiful and eternally young. Her hair is blond and long, her waist is thin and petite, her eyes can bewitch and dazzle or even kill. Any man who lays eyes on her instantly falls in love. Samodivas’ attire consists of long white gowns and shirts and a rainbow-coloured or green belt. They have a white mantel, also called a shadow, in which their power lies. They like to ride deer, using twisted snakes for reins and often carry with them bows and arrows.
If a huntsman accidentally kills a samodiva’s deer, she will make him blind or give him a disease which will inevitably lead to his death.
The wood nymphs live in dark forests, in big old trees, caves or forgotten huts which are near water sources, wells or rivers.
Samodivas can be spotted from spring to autumn. In winter they live in the mythical village Zmeykovo, which is located at the edge of the world and is a home to many mythical creatures. When they are on earth they are active at night and disappear immediately when the sun comes out, because they fear it.
At twilight, the samodivas go to fresh water sources, strip naked, wash themselves and their clothes which they lay out to dry in the moonlight. They keep a watchful eye on their drying clothes, because if a man steals their mantle, where their power lies, they turn into normal women and have to obey the man. After washing themselves and their clothes, the samodivas gather around and start singing and dancing. It is known that the samodiva’s songs are the most beautiful and their dances are the most graceful. If a late traveller sees the samodivas’ dance, he is enticed to join them and dances with them from midnight to dawn. When the sun’s rays appear, the nymphs disappear in haste and leave the traveller to die from exhaustion. The samodivas love music and often kidnap shepherds, so that they can play kaval (shepherd’s pipe) for them while they dance.
Samodivas are not always harmful. Sometimes they appear like normal working women and help with the harvest. They would especially help women with children. If a man does something good for a samodiva, she becomes his patron or a sworn sister. Sometimes, a samodiva can fall in love with a human and bear him children, who grow up to be great heroes.
Samodivas are forest creatures and therefore knowledgeable about herbs and cures. However, they never share their secrets willingly. The only way to obtain their knowledge is to eavesdrop on one of their gatherings.
As you can see, we’ve had wonderful fics and art drop this month! And we also had several fics from June update, and also 2 fics from last years event!!!
@welllpthisishappening updated All Was Golden in the Sky many times! The story is complete and she updates regularly on Tuesday and Friday. We are about a third of the way through the entire fic. Ch 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke and chapter art 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9  by @distant-rose 
@let-it-raines had been updating Not Your (Soul)Mate chs 4 5 6 7 8 with artwork 1 2 3 by @captainsjedi.
@darkcolinodonorgasm updated One Day for us ch2 with gorgeous artwork by @sherlockianwhovian
Our two updated fics from last years event come to us courtesy of @kymbersmith-90 Divine Intervention ch7 with artwork by @hollyethecurious 
and 
@seriouslyhooked Lost Souls and Reveries ch19 with artwork by @shipsxahoy.
So that is all the fics and art that dropped or updated last month! And now, let’s look ahead to what we have to look forward to for the rest of the event!
Tomorrow @courtorderedcake will be dropping her first fic for the event Hallow with accompanying artwork. Her second fic, Roses will drop on Aug. 24 with artwork by @eastwesthomeisbest.
@searchingwardrobes will be dropping a Cupid and Psyche AU on Aug. 6, Until the Day Breaks and the Shadows Flee. Artwork by @hollyethecurious.
@ilovemesomekillianjones will be dropping a soulmate AU on Aug. 8. Artwork by @spartanguard.
@pirateherokillian will be dropping a modern day gods AU on Aug. 15. Artwork by @tennant-the-tigger.
@thejollyroger-writer will be dropping a THIRD one shot for us on Aug. 18. Artwork by @captainsjedi.
@wyntereyez will be dropping a werewolf Killian fic on Aug. 20. Artwork by @gingerchangeling.
@kymbersmith-90 will be dropping her fic on Aug 22. Artwork by @resident-of-storybrooke.
@whimsicallyenchantedrose will be dropping a Lord of the Rings inspired AU on Aug. 27. Artwork by @clockadile.
@lizzyc807shipscaptainswan will be dropping a vampire guardian angel fic on Aug. 29. Artwork by @courtorderedcake.
@teamhook will be closing out the event with her fic dropping on Sept. 2 Artwork by @hollyethecurious.
Ohhhh my WORD!!! Do we have some good stuff coming up!!!! I can’t wait for all this!!!! And of course, our other WIP’s will continue to update as well! Make sure that you let the authors and artists know how much you are enjoying their work! Sometimes it’s exactly that that keeps them motivated and posting! I’ll see you back here in a little over a month for the event roundup with links to everything that’s been posted since we started in June! Until then y’all!
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funslayer · 4 years
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( unprompted meta! in what ways, if any, do you think growing up / spending time mostly around girls has influenced who boey is? )
ooc; 
so after all the mbti types greeking out yesterday, i think this is about time i answer this.
firstly, thanks for the interesting question, rai! i haven’t really thought about this in depth before.
secondly, now without further ado…. this got long, so i’ll put it under a readmore.
i’ll be bringing up mae frequently since that’s a major character that helped instrument a lot of boey’s inner character workings in game, plus she is his only support conversation. but it did reveal a lot in there. 
but back to the beginning: 
he comes from a family of five; a fisherman pops, a mystery mum, apparently two older brothers, and himself
at the novis priory, he knows/once knew: celica, mae, genny, silque ( until she left shortly before act 1 ), and nomah
nomah is the only known man at the priory school, who’s also the elderly sage and teacher. boey already has his own dad, so he didn’t see to him like a father figure, but rather as someone who guided him through his studies and shared wisdom. the priory most likely has a 75/25 female:male ratio with their clerics and mages.  as most valentian men seem to largely prefer physical jobs like the paths of being knights, merchants, traders, fisherman, sailors, mercenaries, ect. 
i would imagine boey’s older brothers followed in his father’s footsteps undertaking similar physical work, so boey was the only male of his poor family to be in a female-dominated area like the priory.  i also have a headcanon he’s the only one in his family who’s proficient in reading and writing, that the rest can’t write and can only read if it’s market-related ( prices, very basic words of food listings ). 
i don’t think he was intentionally resisting to the societal structure norms by taking the path of non-physical job instead, but that he was just tasked to protect celica along with mae and genny when she came to novis. it was only then he decided to join them at the priory to stay close by her side to better protect her as it was his shared duty. 
pursuing on being fisherman or a travelling mercenary for a kid at the time isn’t exactly the best way on sticking to his duty to protect someone of high status. attending school with celica where they study magic, read books, write texts, be more connected to the earth mother ( like fodlan’s faith ) was far more beneficial and efficient. 
and because of that, he tries to compensate for his poor background by donning on a more eloquent persona one would see in nobles. he isn’t actively trying to pretend like he is one, but he considers respect, presentation, and proper etiquette to be very important to be taken seriously as celica’s guard and vassal.
with all that said, i definitely do think being around mostly girls his age did have some impact on his mind and personality construct.
back to the main question: 
a person’s childhood and influences can play a key role in how they turn out, and this definitely is no different for boey. growing up over the years, as more girls come and go at novis, he spent most of his day to day life either studying and training from crack of dawn to twilight at school, travelling to the harbor alone or escorting one of the girls there to run errands, or spending whatever free time he had with them. 
protectiveness
this is very real in his psyche. 
with his brothers and father, they all looked out for each other but also could hold their own. it was a non-verbal understanding between them and even though boey was the youngest and the least conformed to the masculinity structure, he didn’t get teased for not being able to carry his own weight… much. 
with his childhood friends, however, he finds himself always acting as their bodyguard or escort to keep them out of harm’s way. if either mae or genny got hurt or killed, that wouldn’t bode well for keeping celica protected. he likely did have an overbearing phase as a kid where even a cut or a scrape would make boey stress out over them until he calmed down after some time. 
some of that returned ( but in a different form ) after mila’s blessings was disappearing, and there was a steady rise in thievery, banditry, terrors, and just all around chaos. having learnt better from prior experience, he was more adamant than ever on keeping his friends and celica safe from harm. he had feared for the day one of them would steal one of the girls away at the harbor and sail away with them ( or a case like silque’s in act 1 where she got kidnapped into a shrine cave ).
we… don’t have much at all about silque’s side of the story with the novis gang, so there’s not a lot to go off on. but until we get a silque, this part is up in the air for some possible changes later. with silque leaving, i’d think boey and the others accompanied her to the harbor and made sure she got on a safe ship, since banditry and piracy was on such a high rise during that time. he would have escorted her to mainland zofia personally, but since he had a more important duty to do, he had to stay behind at the priory despite his own wishes. wishing silque and any other leaving novis a safe journey was all he could do.
when celica and mae were about to board the ship to leave novis to go on their pilgrimage journey, boey was very adamant on not letting them go off alone, not without his protection. it’s what makes him feel valuable as an ally, as he cares very much for their safety but also lending a helping hand to get to their destination, so that he isn’t be a hindrance and trying to shelter them like much of the older folks.
more in-tune with emotions
it still doesn’t trump his natural rationality-driven mind, but it’s been nurtured and grown over the years to a somewhat better understanding of them and his own feelings.
being around girls a lot come with other packages that open up a side or two. he has likely listened to a lot of girl gossip about how they feel about their families, friends, loved ones, or mundane things that happen in daily life. there’s no end to these things, and he’s simply accepted it of hearing or being told things. he’s also the type to be an active listener and give feedback, so this particular trait is probably another reason he appears more approachable.
since he can come to find girls to be so… different than how he usually worked, he wanted to better understand where they’re coming from… kind of, and hope to better relate. from that, he became more knowledgeable about what he may feel at a lot of times ( friendship love, familial love, romantic love are big things, but also annoyance, happiness, relief, anxious, proud - a large array of emotions that bubble underneath his grounded outward persona ). 
i found it fascinating that they subvert a couple of the tropes in boey/mae’s supports. i’ll do a quick rundown:
not oblivious to what he’s feeling -we can see in their A support that boey is subtlety confessing to mae. he didn’t wish to be blunt about it since that’s opening up his heart to let the love bleed out too much. in popular tropes, we see this as the other way around where the girl is obviously in love and confessing, but the guy’s too oblivious to Get It.
doesn’t tell her to back down or stay off the battlefield -in their B support, boey ( coming from their C support ) confronts mae if she was sure she could handle fighting as he misunderstands it as her not liking it nor enjoying being out in the battlefield. he could have just simply told her to get behind him as he’d protect her or tell her to give up fighting if she doesnt like it… except he didn’t. he simply asked these things to better understand where she’s coming from as he misunderstood her prior, and thought there was something wrong when he thought about her feelings on the matter but there wasn’t anything much wrong. just from these, he’s rather considerate and keeps others’ well-beings in mind.
he still isn’t perfect at reading emotions in others ( and likely never will, but may improve bit by bit ). he still resorts to thinking with the approach of logic or rationality to matters and calmly confronts those he doesn’t fully understand ( especially if they’re coming from with the carefree/spur-of-the-moment feelings approach which he doesn’t think of to view from, and even if he did consider that side, he doesn’t a hundred percent get the exact inner workings of… why they say or do as is ). 
so being around the novis gang all throughout childhood and schooling years did open some more doors. not all of them and not all rooms are enlightened with full understanding, but it’s more than what other boys his age would probably be set with on this particular fundamental of being human. 
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carlkandutsch · 5 years
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What would our world look like to an alien but human sensibility from a from a different place, perhaps a different time that does not recognize our world? Or perhaps to a sensibility that is not from a different place or time, and recognizes discrete things that exist in our world, but feels removed from the world – perhaps because one feels trapped within one’s consciousness, as if one’s privacy feels like less like separateness from others but like a prison or a barrier barring direct contact with the world and with others living in it – like a secret, something that by design or by fate, is hidden. In either case, to such a sensibility, the world would still be the world – because there is only this world – but deprived of what Heidegger calls the “worldhood” of the world. By “worldhood” I mean nothing technical (as Heidegger perhaps does) but that which makes the world our world, the human world, in which we humans live our lives, in which we exist as embodied beings subject to the ravages of time and the closeness and distance from things, where the past cannot be retrieved or the future hurried, in which we must occupy and negotiate space and find ourselves close to or distant from the things that we need and desire and use or avoid in our day to day lives – conditions that both allow and force us to orient ourselves in space and time, and to move about with purposeful orientation and direction, getting things done or leaving them undone, interacting with things and with others who are like us, as we seek to accomplish tasks and goals and realize our hopes and dreams, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing – because in our world, subject to the limitations of time and space, there is always a gap between our intentions and their realizations in the material world, between wish and fulfillment, and for this reason we must act – it is our human fate to speak and engage in activities that are intelligible to others living the same world – in short, a world in which the lives we lead are never given but always found or lost, but at bottom they can only be found or lost because they are our lives? In other words, ours is a world in which human being is not a fact (as it with other lifeforms) but something to be achieved or lost.
I find that in Savelev’s photographs I am presented with highly specific views of a world – but the world we see in Savelev’s pictures is not recognizable as our world; it is composed of things that although they are typically familiar and identifiable, are displaced or arranged in the peculiar views captured by Savelev’s camera as he (I assume) strolls the streets. In this displacement familar things lose their familiarity; they appear strange and alien, so that while we recognize the world,  our sense of the world’s coherence – which is based on the conventionality of our ways of looking at and experiencing things, as if I, in viewing the picture, am encountering the world as an alien sensibility might or as a person who is alienated from his or her own familiar and intimate experience, my remembered past and anticipated future.
Savelev’s pictures are interesting because they compel us to question how and why we see the world as we do, and ask ourselves whether our conventional ways of seeing may not be as natural and inevitable as they seem. We see things in Savelev’s photographs as mere facts, dissociated from their usual associations, facts that exist outside of ourselves and not subject to our usual ways of ordering and comprehending these once familiar things. In viewing the world through Savelev’s lens, I begin to comprehend that the ordinary and mundane world of my daily experience is as a matter of fact completely fantastic, and therefore that our ordinary lives consist for the most part in not seeing what is there to be seen.
There is a sense in which the world viewed within of any photograph (which I will refer to as the world of the photograph, the world made present to us within the edges of the photographic print) is always alien or estranged because the viewer is, due to the nature of the camera, which is necessarily excluded from the world of the photograph, never part of the world projected on film. It follows that the concept of viewing, the mode in which we experience photographs, entails the viewer’s exclusion from what is viewed on film. Exclusion means isolation – we view the world of the photograph from a position outside, as if we are looking out at the world – the photographed world being identical to the world in which we see the picture except for the fact that what is made present in the photograph doesn’t exist – at least at the moment the picture is viewed. We see things that are not there; these things are present to us but we are not present to them. This suggests that is a virtual barrier separating the world of the photograph from the world we occupy in viewing the photograph. The nature of this virtual barrier accounts for the mysteriousness and magic of photographs. Some photographs – portraits, for example, in which the subject looks directly into the camera, implying awareness of the viewer’s presence – strive to penetrate the barrier separating the photographed world from our world. But this can only be an aspiration, albeit and interesting and worthwhile aspiration that produces some terrific pictures, because the barrier is impenetrable, as the past cannot be regained and the future not subject to our attempts to control events that have not yet happened. The barrier may therefore be characterized as the fact that the world and things in it are separate from us, outside of our control, although its coherence depends on repression of this fact. The world made present in Savelev’s pictures is entirely devoid of visual rhetoric.
But a barrier that is impenetrable is not really a barrier at all, and this is the mysteriousness of photographs. Things are made present to us by means of the photograph but we cannot reach out and touch them. Why? Because in the age of photography, we experience the world by viewing it, viewing it from a position unseen, isolated, and unknown. As if the photograph accounts for our present inability to immerse ourselves in the world, our unwillingness to attend to our own experience, our fear of taking our lives seriously. If so, Savelev’s enterprise as a photographer might be characterized as revealing that what under present circumstances, we are missing, dismissing, ignoring and failing to notice is not just the world, having withdrawn from it, but equally our own lives – despite the fact, as demonstrated by Savelev’s photographs, everything there is to see and experience is right there in front of us, fully present to us. And available too, if only we could find a way to make ourselves present to the world, to each other, and to ourselves.
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anneapocalypse · 5 years
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Chorus Rewatch: Season 13: The Temples & Dr. Grey
Crossposted from dreamwidth. Back in the spring, I did a full rewatch of the Chorus Trilogy with the purpose of studying its worldbuilding more closely. This series of posts is from that rewatch.
There are going to be several posts for this season, because we get a ton of worldbuilding clues in 13, and there is just so much to unpack. So I wanted to start with the thing that pushed me to do a full rewatch in the first place (aside from wanting to take my shiny new blu-rays for a spin): a line of dialogue I caught while listening in on the RT TV stream a couple weeks ago. I’d never picked up this one line, buried in a block of very fast talking by Dr. Grey, and it had me wondering what else I might have missed.
To investigate the alien temple Charon’s been studying, yes dear, you told me on the radio. Not surprising, really; emerged from the ground shortly after UNSC pulled out, never did anything sadly but that doesn’t mean that they won’t! Thankfully, I spent time brushing up on their history in between college internships.
I’m posting this whole because the rest is going to be important later, but first let’s look at the biggest “Wait, WHAT?” buried in the middle.
“[the temples] emerged from the ground shortly after UNSC pulled out”
WOW. OKAY.
Let’s unpack this.
So, Chorus was chosen for colonization due to its high concentration of alien artifacts, but at the time of colonization, the temples were under the ground. The UNSC later abandoned Chorus (which I assume means they withdrew funding and material support for the colonization mission), leaving the colonists to fend for themselves. It was only after the UNSC withdrew that the towers rose out of the ground and into the sky.
So, I have one big question here.
WHY?
And I mean that in a Doylist sense sense as well as a Watsonian.
This phenomenon is never mentioned again by any other character, yet we have no reason to doubt Dr. Grey’s word on this; she is demonstrably the resident expert, so I think we have to take it as canon. But what a weird curveball of a piece of a canon. So the whole time the UNSC were trying to extract useful artifacts from Chorus, the towers were… underground. Presumably they were detectable, the colonist just couldn’t do anything with them. And then after the UNSC pulled out, the towers emerged from the ground.
What an Event that must have been.
Again, the big question is why. What triggered this event? Unfortunately, we’ll probably never have a canon answer to that, so it’s anyone’s guess. One possibility is that the towers were activated simply by the planet’s population reaching a critical mass, which happened to occur only after the UNSC withdrew support. Another possibility is that with UNSC oversight gone, the colonists disregarded safety protocols and became more aggressive in their excavation efforts and managed to trigger something. Personally, I’d lean toward the latter as it’s more interesting, but your mileage may vary.
Anyway, we don’t know exactly when the UNSC pulled out of Chorus, only that it happened before the beginning of the war. But that line about Dr. Grey studying the towers’ history is important also. Back in season 12, Dr. Grey comments on her experience with alien archeology:
Sarge: Plasma?
Grey: Alien energy source. I've seen it countless times in archaeological digs.
Simmons: Wait, I thought you were a surgeon?
Grey: I have an IQ of 240. A prodigy can only cut people open so many times before she needs to find a hobby!
So alien technology is Dr. Grey’s hobby, kind of a special interest of hers, and she appears to be quite knowledgeable about it. Dr. Grey is also a doctor, specifically a surgeon, and she doesn’t say anything about not finishing medical school so we can assume she did. I’m going to say she probably got her doctorate before the civil war consumed the whole planet, because by the time we meet Chorus, whole cities are abandoned and institutions of higher education probably haven’t survived the war. And even if she breezed through medical school (she is, as she reminds us, a genius), it takes some time to get that degree. She also told us back in 12 that during grad school she volunteered at a remote research facility designed to study wildlife. Emily certainly kept herself busy during her education.
Even if we want to say Dr. Grey completed her medical degree in half the usual time, we’re still looking at 4-5 years of study and that before the war got so bad that institutions broke down. She was in college when she studied the history of the temples on her own time. Their history. In order for a thing to have history, it has to have been around for a while, so I’d say that the temples must have emerged from the ground at least a few years before Emily was “brushing up on their history.”
Putting all that together, it’s a rough estimate but I’d say the Event of the temples’ emergence has to have been, at minimum, maybe twelve years ago.
But that's not our only clue.
A couple of Fed soldiers remark on having visited the temples as tourist attractions when they were kids. If they’re around 18 years old, that’s probably at bare minimum, six years ago; potentially more like 8-12 years. And by that time, the Event has slipped into the realm of History, and the towers have gone from potential threats to scientific curiosities to tourist traps. I would note that no one except Dr. Grey, who spent time studying the temples’ history, even mentions the Event of their emergence. To the young soldiers of the Federal Army and the New Republic, they’ve just always been there. That, to me, pushes the Event back even further; 20 years begins to sound like a more reasonable minimum than 10.
There’s one more clue I want to pull in here, also involving Dr. Grey. When Carolina’s team goes out to the coordinates shown to them at the Temple of Arms, they find themselves at the jungle temple with the mysterious portal that will test them to find a true warrior. (Temple of Trials, seriously why didn’t they canonically call it the Temple of Trials? It’s a perfect name!)
At this temple, Grey remarks, “The government spent ample time studying these relics and we’ve only been here a few hours!” When Tucker asks if they made any progress, Grey replies, “Actually they got fed up and abandoned all of their work!” On cue, the camera cuts to some crates bearing a note that says: “Will return in:” with a handwritten “FUCK YOU!”
Originally, I had assumed this was the UNSC, based on all the other dialogue we get about the UNSC abandoning Chorus. But in light of Dr. Grey’s remarks about the temples emerging after the UNSC’s withdrawal, this now presents a problem. If this temple was hidden underground during the UNSC’s colonization of Chorus, how could they have been inside the temple studying it? I mean, you could probably make up something about the UNSC excavating around the buried structure and getting inside it, but I’d say the simplest explanation is that Dr. Grey is referring not the UNSC but to the government of Chorus.
(The other explanation is that, well, Miles made a mistake and contradicted his own lore, but uh. We’re trying to get a watsonian reading here, so we’ll ignore that one for now.)
So, here’s a quick sequence of events:
UNSC surveys Chorus and discovers evidence of alien artifacts.
UNSC colonizes Chorus.
UNSC withdraws from Chorus, leaving colonists to fend for themselves.
Alien temples emerge from the ground and into the sky.
The Chorus government studies the temples but makes no progress in activating them further.
Emily Grey studies the history of the temples in between college internships.
Chorus descends into civil war.
Malcolm Hargrove hires Locus and Felix to perpetuate the civil war.
The New Republic hires Felix, paying him in nonfunctional alien weapons excavated from the ground.
The Federal Army hires Locus.
Vanessa Kimball is promoted to an officer rank.
Vanessa Kimball succeeds to the position of General.
The Hand of Merope crashes on Chorus with the Reds and Blues aboard.
These are, obviously, not the only events we know about, nor the only timeline clues we have, but this is about all I can say for certain in terms of what happens in what order. If I put in just about anything else, I’d have to take something out, for lack of clarity as to order. For example, I can say with a fair amount of confidence that Donald Doyle succeeded to the position of General after Locus was hired by the Federal Army, but I can’t say for sure whether he became General before or after Kimball did. I would guess after, but I don’t have specific canon to back that up other than the fact that Doyle just… seems less experienced.
But the upshot of what we’re looking at her is that it has been quite a few years since the UNSC pulled out and the temples emerged from the ground. I would say at least 20 years is reasonable, honestly. Enough time for Emily Grey’s life and the world of Chorus as a whole to drastically change several times over, and enough time for the temples themselves to become mundane curiosities in the public view.
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ralfstrashcan · 5 years
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Possible Origins of Magnus's Warlock Mark Insecurities
I've read it countless times in fics that Magnus is super insecure about his cat eyes. After some prodding he will admit that it's because other people (most likely past lovers) have told him they are ugly and/or because he himself thinks they are ugly. Don't get me wrong, I have a soft spot for that trope because it always ends with Alec saying cute romantic loving things to Magnus and Magnus deserves all the cute romantic loving things, but....... I've always found it hard to believe. Here's why.
First off, I think it's important to point out that in the books (as far as I know) Magnus never uses a glamor and has his cat eyes on display all the time. So why the glamor on the show and in the movie? Possibly for the intended dramatic effect whenever he reveals them or (what I personally think more likely) to save some CGI-budget for demons and explosions and stuff. Either way, the outcome is the same: Magnus covers his cat eyes with a glamor most of the time and reveals them only on a few special occasions. From now I'll focus on Show!Magnus because I know the show way better than the movie and I want to characterize Show!Magnus. Some observations may be true for Movie!Magnus too, but he's not the point in this.
1) Magnus is not only a downworlder but also a person of color, so I think it's safe to say he has faced his fair share of discrimination from people of the Shadow World (I'm looking at you, shadowhunters) and the Mundane World alike over the course of his long life. And he really doesn't seem to be the kind of person to be fazed by that. He's the kind of person to stand up for himself, to laugh a narrow-minded racist in the face and beat them at their own game. So I don't find it too convincing that someone telling him something negative about his cat eyes would upset him too much. Of course it's different from being discriminated against for his warlock-dom or his poc-dom because while there are fellow warlocks and fellow people of color there is no one with the same eyes as him, so being insulted for something that's part of him as an individual and that nobody else has is far more personal. It stings. A lot. But still. I can't really see other people's opinions about his eyes influencing his own opinion to that extent when he's used to tuning out insults and the like.
2) It seems kind of dumb, but why would anybody tell him his warlock mark is ugly? I mean, if an enemy insulted it, Magnus wouldn't even take it seriously. So the insult must come from someone close to Magnus for it to even possibly have any impact.
Okay, so which one of Magnus's friends could insult his warlock mark?
--- Warlocks: I can't really imagine a fellow warlock friend insulting his warlock mark, because, seriously. Who does that.
--- Other downworlders: I also find it unlikely that a fellow downworlder friend would do it. Downworlders share a history of being oppressed by shadowhunters (openly before the Accords, more subtle after the Accords, but if I remember correctly the Accords are like 200 years old? That would only be half (or quarter or whatever) of Magnus's life) and that creates common ground. Some sense of companionship. Sure, vampires and werewolves still hate each other, but we were looking at Magnus's friends. I find it hard to believe that any downworlder would insult the mark of a warlock friend.
--- Mundanes: It's a little hazy on the show if/how mundanes know about the Shadow World, there are some scenes in 2B that imply a few mundanes at least hang out with vampires, to feed and stuff? So they probably also know about all the other downworlders? Even though I thought the Clave was very insistent on mundanes not being in the know, then again who cares what the Clave wants? The downworlders certainly don't. Anyway, assuming Magnus really does interact with mundanes on a friendly basis (probably selling them potions and stuff) and reveals his warlock mark to them... I still find it unlikely that they would call it ugly since a) he'd likely only show it to a mundane he has some trust in and b) if the mundane wants something from him like a potion they would be pretty stupid to insult him. I could be persuaded that they are afraid of it. But being afraid and being disgusted is not the same thing, so there's that, and also I think a mundane happily meddling in the Shadow World should have better nerves than to freak out over some harmless cat eyes.
--- Ex-lovers: If an (ex-)lover really told Magnus that his eyes are ugly and he should keep them covered because they're disgusting, well, that sounds to me like extreme insensitivity at best, emotional abuse at worst. Also I think a person that says something like this doesn't act kind and gentle in every other aspect of their life, but is probably really rude and insensitive half the time anyway. Meaning after that relationship ends Magnus would, with time, see that that opinion shouldn't influence him because it came from a bad place and he wouldn't attach much importance to hurtful things that person might have said about his eyes. (.........yes I'm basically talking about Camille here lol.)
And of course there is that whole thing that I don't understand what anybody could find ugly about his cat eyes because, let's face it, they're sexy as hell!!!
............ugh, I'm man enough do admit that this really is no rational argument </3
Okay, but what now? If nobody close to Magnus really has a reason to insult him or Magnus has no reason to take a received insult seriously? It's kinda undeniable that Magnus has some kind of issue with his eyes, right? Just remember that bit in 2x18 that was actually from 2x07 during the infamous First Time Scene, where Magnus didn't even want to face Alec after his glamor dropped. And of course he described it as 'losing control' so he admitted to deliberately hiding his cat eyes.
Then there's this whole issue with Valentine and Magnus swapping bodies. Even though Valentine claimed he didn't have any control over Magnus's magic at the beginning, the glamor stayed up. Okay, that's probably because if Magnus had suddenly started walking around without his glamor after the failed summoning everyone would have been suspicious in two seconds flat, but just because there's a Plot Reason for something doesn't mean it can be ignored.
To me, it means that the glamor Magnus uses on his eyes is not something he actively maintains, but something that is firmly in place and that he needs to actively remove if he wants it gone.
How does that really fit together with Magnus saying he 'lost control' which made the glamor slip, implying he has to sustain the glamor? I don't know. Maybe he meant it in that way that his magic went haywire (= he lost control) and it dislodged the glamor... or maybe the show just contradicts itself in this, insinuating things in both directions. Which.... wouldn't be all that surprising, honestly.
One way or another, the fact remains that Magnus doesn't want his eyes on display all the time. To get behind a potential reason for Magnus's issues, look at this:
On what occasions does Magnus intentionally let his glamor fall?
1x01 Flashback: Answering the door (for Jocelyn, a shadowhunter) 1x01 Flashback: Performing the spell to take Clary's memories 1x01 Threatening a Circle member at the Pandemonium 1x04 During a fight with a Circle member at his loft 2x01 Practicing magic on the balcony (though he hides them as soon as Alec approaches, long before turning around) [Not counting 2x07 while macking with Alec because that wasn't intentional.] 2x08 Showing them to Max* 2x10 Showing them to Madzie [Not counting 3x02 because Magnus says his magic was useless and so his glamor disappeared unintentionally.] 3x08 During the Connection-to-visit-Jace's-Subconsciousness-Spell
*Taking a look at Magnus revealing his eyes to Max
Tumblr media
it's obvious how uncomfortable he is: His smile disappears and he clenches his teeth. (Gif Source: pinterest.de/pin/556405728951646689)
So, besides revealing his eyes for the sole purpose of showing them to someone we have two situations:
i) While practicing magic. To be honest I'm not too sure if he really does that intentionally then or if it's just a byproduct of using his magic, but there's no way to know that. It is noteworthy though that he often practices (very poweful) magic without dropping his glamor, so him dropping the glamor doesn't seem to correlate with the severety of the spell he's casting. For example his glamor stays up while summoning a memory demon (1x04) and even a greater demon (2x11) or when fighting both Iris (2x08) and Lorenzo (3x09). I find it hard to believe that all these tasks were easier than a simple memory spell (1x01) or the dream-connection-thingy (3x08), so I think it’s reasonably justified to claim that he does it intentionally then. Coincidentally, those are occasions where shadowhunters (Jocelyn / the Lightwoods) are present while he performs the magic, but it is also noteworthy that in these instances his eyes aren't directed at a person but focused on the task at hand.
ii) During a fight with shadowhunters. I think it's pretty obvious that Magnus uses his cat eyes then as a means of intimidation, as a threat, a warning sign for others that he is dangerous. Not to be underestimated. Deadly.
Why? There are two possible explanations:
a) Because they are his warlock mark, highlighting the fact that he is a warlock with magic and he can kick ass with his magic. → It's not the eyes themselves, they act as a symbol for his warlock-dom.
or b) Because his eyes by themselves are a frightening sight. → It's the eyes themselves.
Either way Magnus himself thinks his eyes represent – directly or indirectly – danger and should be feared.
Why is that?
Well. You mostly believe something to be dangerous when you either know that it holds a certain destructive power or you know from experience that it has caused damage in the past. Since the cat eyes themselves hold no power I think it's safe to go with option two: Magnus has experienced the extreme and grave damage his eyes can do to someone. They were the reason, the trigger for his mother to kill herself. The reason his childhood found a violent and rather traumatic end, the reason he became an orphan and lost everything he had known up to this point.
In my opinion Magnus associates his eyes and what they mean to him with this event, because it was the first reaction, the imminent fallout of his eyes revealing themselves. That's why he thinks they are a means to strike fear in the hearts of his enemies and that is why he covers them, because they are a constant reminder of what happened to his mother. I don't think he himself finds them pretty or ugly, they are a part of him like everything else, but they are the part of him that broke his family and that's why he can't stand the sight of them.
Edit: Now, after 3A aired (since I wrote this whole thing before that) there is another, pretty straightforward explanation: They are the one thing he has in common with Asmodeus and they are a constant reminder of their time together which, on his own admission, made his skin crawl. To him, they are a symbol of his weakest moment, when he trusted the wrong person easily and let himself be shaped into something cruel and twisted. Those memories are shameful, and his eyes are evidence that once upon a time his wish to not be alone anymore and to mean something to someone managed to outweight his conscience. His eyes are living proof of the darkness within him, a darkness that would make him do unspeakable things, and so they represent the deadly force that is his power if he unleashed it.
In my personal head canon, when Alec inevitably says something cute romantic loving about Magnus's eyes, it doesn't magically heal his issues with them. But I think it soothes a part of Magnus, the knowledge that something that is so terrible for one person can be something beautiful for another, and with time I think he can accept that his eyes themselves are nothing inherently destructive and bad. I believe he would let himself be coaxed to lower is glamor occasionally, if Alec asks; but I don't think that he'd ever walk around casually without a glamor, not even at home when he's alone with (or without) Alec. That is a little sad, but I don't think you have to erase every issue you have in your life to be able to be truly happy.
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otomates-a · 5 years
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For the muses that don't have the special voiced lines available.. What do you imagine they sound like?
Ah, yes, talking about my muse’s voices… my favorite activity…
This kind of goes hand in hand with the accent headcanon I answered a little bit ago, so I’ll link that here too, since I’ll restate some of it briefly for relevancy.
I don’t really have voice claims right now because that’s… a lot of effort, but maybe I’ll get around to that one day.
Under a read more because this one is LONG KJNHMKJHNM.
For the Voltage characters (currently) without V/C content,
↪ Prince Edward
Again, super 👏 SUPER 👏 thick French accent.
Very soft. Never raises his voice, even when angry or passionate. Typically has to clear his throat before speaking to garner attention to avoid being drowned out.
Whispers more than talking normally.
People often note that Edward in general has a very “melodic” tone of voice.
Bonus: doesn’t laugh so much as let out very quiet giggles.
↪ Prince Keith
Boy’s got a New York accent going on and we appreciate him.
Often speaks loudly enough to be heard over people in his immediate vicinity.
Has a a slightly lower-pitched voice that tends to get a little higher and squeakier when he’s getting upset or bitching about smth lmao.
That said, will mostly often speak normally with a very bored “are we done yet” tone of voice.
Bonus: always muffles his laugh by covering his mouth with both hands.
↪ Prince Roberto
He’s got that Spanish accent going on.
Excited, energetic, just happy to be here!! He has a bit of a higher pitched voice, so whenever he tries to do a deeper voice impression and sound “super serious” it’s actually just really silly to hear.
Constantly yelling and going a mile a minute or singing or whatever.
He will get serious for real sometimes, though, and when he does, his voice is always gentle / calming and full of emotion. He’s very soothing.
Bonus: will roll over on the floor laughing unironically. very loudly.
↪ Prince Wilfred
Soft, British and would rather not be having a conversation lmao
He’s even more quiet than Edward, but it’s mostly because he doesn’t like talking to people.
His voice is extremely monotone and devoid of emotion. He sounds like a robot reciting lines, which is true both when speaking to him in person or when he’s giving a speech. This is something that doesn’t ever go away completely, even if he falls in love with a person, though they’ll hear more emotion in his voice than most get the chance to.
If caught in the right moment, sometimes he almost sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, though.
Bonus: laughs are very short and breathy… more like a quick ‘aha’ than an actual laugh.
↪ Prince Yakov
I hope you like Russian accents thicker than this prince’s beautiful braid, because he’s undoubtedly got the thickest / most noticeable accent out of the princes if only due to limited chances to actually put the other languages and dialects he’s learned to good use!
Very loud! Very demanding! But also very approachable. He can be extremely stern or extremely welcoming and his voice drastically changes between disciplined / friendly as needed.
Bonus: he laughs a lot. And his laugh is also super loud and boisterous.
↪ Luke
Much more subtle New York accent compared to Keith ‘cuz he suppresses it.
Very timid & gentle normally. He’s got a quiet, hesitant tone of voice because he’s usually pretty unsure of himself.
When he’s getting on to someone or trying to stand up for himself or scold other people, though, he also gets kind of high pitched and squeaky because he’s a puppy like that. Eventually, this matures and he inherits his grandfather’s skills in scolding people sternly lmao.
Bonus: will try to hide laughter by covering his mouth with the back of his hand, but will fail.
↪ Claude
British boi #2.
Stern as all living hell. If ever a voice could send chills down your spine, it would be Claude’s. He’s an extremely serious person and he’s not playing games, man.
That said, in rare moments when he shows his softer side, he can be very gentle and warm. It’s just unlikely.
Bonus: hell will freeze over before you hear this man laugh.
↪ Zain
Does have a very subtle English accent as a result of his time with Nobel Michel, but his is hard to distinguish. He’s one of those ppl everyone will stand around like “what???? is that accent???? what is it, it sounds like 5 different accents, i can’t????”
Elegant and sophisticated, at all times, his voice reflects that. He’s always proper and calm, so his tone is likewise monotone, but in a kindhearted way, as opposed to Wilfred’s robotic voice.
Will easily become very expressive and full of emotion when impassioned, however, no matter how hard he tries not to.
Bonus: very soft chuckles.
↪ Ryuga
Loud and happy! He’s super energetic and friendly and that shows through in how he speaks.
His voice is on the lower / gruffer side, however.
Kind of has a very very vERY subtle hint of a British accent sometimes because of where he grew up, but mostly maintained a Japanese accent from his family.
Bonus: EXCITABLE, UPBEAT LAUGHTER !! LAUGHS FOR /DAYS/
↪ Roy
British accent so thick he actually has trouble being understood depending on what part of the world he’s sailing in. Took after his mother.
Mostly speaks with a quiet, thoughtful tone of voice, like he’s always lost in his own head.
He’s very expressive though, so if he gets startled or has strong emotions over something/someone, etc, his voice will raise in volume and panic and etc.
Bonus: he’s the type to laugh behind his hand and muffle it
↪ Shin
Thick Czech accent, not as pronounced as Roy’s.
Extremely intimidating and hard to approach. He always sounds either strict, angry, or annoyed. Mostly because he’s probably all three of those things.
Even when he tries to be soft, he can come off as mean. He takes a little work, but eventually, he learns how to come off as gentle.
Bonus: doesn’t laugh so much as snort derisively.
↪ Miyabi
Has two settings: obnoxious and serious, which he will usually switch between throughout the day
He constantly sounds really full of himself and full of mockery, despite seriously lacking in confidence lmao
His actual tone of voice is mild. He’s very emotional, though, and can sound scary or loving depending on what buttons are pushed.
Can also sound pretty sensual / seductive at times, too.
Bonus: medium-toned laugh, directly in your face KJNHMKJNM
↪ Ichthys
Check accent hc for details on him, he’s more complicated I’m crying.
That being said, one of the louder / happier sounding out of the muse group. He’s constantly laughing and putting on airs for people, so he always sounds like he’s having a great time.
As for the actual tone of his voice, he’s one of the few i DO have a voice claim for yay
Bonus: can and will go into long laughing fits
↪ Rhion / Mad Hatter
Switches depending on what persona he’s “playing.”
If he’s just being himself, he’s very soft, unsure, quiet, but friendly. He’ll openly show his emotions and usually sound pretty happy / upbeat, but it’s like he’s lost in a different world, daydreaming.
As the Hatter, he’s SUPER loud and dramatic and over-the-top, because he’s putting on a show. He’ll drag words out and make drama out of sentences that are super mundane.
Bonus: snorts when he laughs, thanks.
↪ Yuya
This one is easy, let’s all just accept that Yuya is obviously a ripoff of Kurosawa Yamato and obviously his voice is going to match up 😂😂😂
Bonus: tends to burst out laughing if he finds smth funny
For the non-Voltage muses who don’t already have voiced lines in their respective games,
↪ Chezem
Thick Arabic accent.
EXTREMELY soft and aloof. He literally sounds like he’s speaking through a vacuum because he mumbles and trails off so often. His head is up in the clouds.
Deeper voice.
When upset, can be very scary and stern, has a habit of intimidating people and purposefully trying to run them off by presenting himself this way, but actually very soft in reality.
Bonus: brief, short laughs that sound more like sighs.
↪ Saizo
Tone of voice can be summed up as “constantly exasperated” and “really wishes he weren’t here right now.” He ALWAYS sounds like he’s annoyed or sighing at someone’s stupidity any time he opens his mouth.
Deep voice, which I actually have a VC of Jun Fukuyama for. My cg bias shows through, but there u go.
Bonus: usually has short, unexpected laughter in which he tries to keep it from coming out.
↪ Munenori
Upper-class and elegant. He sounds kinda snobby, but not in an obnoxious way. He uses long, big words and tends to trail off to enunciate quite often.
Is the type of person to pause mid-sentence and go… ‘hmm…………………’ while regarding the person he’s talking to for a long while before continuing lmao
Also has a very deep voice, but speaks lightly compared to anyone else in the NL group. His way of speaking is just… very “airy,” like he’s just breathing the words, idk how to put it
Bonus: has the softest chuckles out of anyone in this blasted group
↪ Lysandre
Thick French accent 2 : electric boogaloo
Has a lot in common with Chezem, tbh, so I’m gonna reiterate: soft and aloof. He literally sounds like he’s speaking through a vacuum because he mumbles and trails off so often. His head is up in the clouds.
However, he maintains his softness even when he gets emotional or angry. He can be stern, yes, but he doesn’t lose his poise. He’s extremely put-together and graceful.
Voice isn’t very deep, he also tends to sound kind of “airy” when speaking
Bonus: rarely laughs, mostly smiles… but has a breathy laugh when he does
↪ Chase
Australian accent !
Sounds super tired and dead inside all the time. He just wants to go home and sleep and for everyone to leave him alone my dude. He’s always scoffing while talking, so he can sound pretty stuck up.
Medium-toned voice, not high pitched, not deep, just right in the middle.
Tends to drag out words because he sounds pretty bored most of the time. That is to say, he’s pretty monotone.
However, voice starts to perk up when he starts brightening up around someone he cares about. He can actually sound pretty happy and loving near constantly, around the right person.
Bonus: snickers rather than laughs. unless he’s with someone he adores, then he’ll laugh rather loudly.
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kwackdoctor · 5 years
Text
Progress Note #2: How to love yourself
Today, for the nth time, I have googled “how to love myself”. It’s that time of the month, I think, that I get depressive thoughts, suicidical really, but I still try to fight for myself and try to save me. Just a little background, when I was in high school, I had suicidal notes – plans to kill myself, notes of goodbyes to my parents. To this day, I still remember the look of hurt of my mother when she read it. She was hurt, betrayed and scared at the same time. Right there I realized that my problems wont go away along with me, it will stay with the people left behind. So at that moment, I promised whenever these thoughts visit, and they often do, that I will fight for myself. A bit ironic, isn’t it? Negating the thoughts of killing myself. But it really happens, you really cant control these thoughts. I have thought about getting professional help, but I think im not ready to scare my parents again. So im doing a “self-help”. So while I was researching, I came about a website by marc and angel and they list down a few tips on how to love yourself. So today, I will try to do that.
“because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to accept, embrace, and love ourselves, with all of our imperfections”
it seem so easy. I mean, I love myself. But do I really KNOW myself for me to love it?
I was making plans with my best friend, telling him our plans of travelling together when this academic thing is over. I was telling him of not getting married early because I was scared of being alone. When his replied shocked me, he said, “Learn to love your company, be your own bestfriend”. GUYS. My own bestfriend, telling me to be my own bestfriend. Was he trying to break up with me? But it hit me hard. I SHOULD REALLY LOVE MYSELF. But how?
“We have to learn to be our own best friends beciase sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.”
Start telling yourself what you love about yourself.
Well, this is hard. You know what’s easy? Telling myself what I hate about myself. But let’s try this exercise. I have watched a series wherein they also did this but they only listed 5 things, so I will try that.
I love my height
I love my cheerful and optimistic side (even though it is tiring sometimes)
I love how I can make people laugh
I love my kilay
I love my dimples
Be one with what is
It says in the website, “ giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self”. Well, that’s easy. I am not perfect. I know that. Again, I can list all of my imperfections in 10 minutes unlike exercise 1 which took my 30 minutes to list 5 things. face palm
but being one with what is, it’s kind of difficult to understand. Being okay with yourself. Isn’t that settling? Isn’t that going below average? But maybe I am the average and being myself is okay. Well, we will update on this because I am also confused on the matter HAHA
Focus less on winning the approval of others
Okay, this is difficult. We live in a world where every aspect of your life is posted on social media. Every event in your daily, mundane life is recorded. How the hell do you stop trying to get approval of others? Whenever I post something, someone is always there to comment – be it bad or good. Maybe I should get a social media hiatus, right?
“Your time on this planet is precious:
“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it”
“Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live”
Sooooo, if I sleep all day, what does that make me? Still important. I think I shouldn’t be bothered by what people think about my itinerary. I will do whatever makes me happy. #sleepislife
Distance yourself from those who bring you down
Wait, what if I don’t know those people? Should I know them?
“Being in a relationship is better than being in a wrong one” – OH SNAP, that hit me. I have been with this guy for a long time now (hello 7 years), and I still don’t see any progress with our relationship. Should I see progress? But I still don’t have the guts to let him go. I still love him. But in most times, we just aren’t in sync. I don’t know what to do with it, though.
“Know your worth” – still trying, I am so sorry.
“Quality over quantity” – ah, this I have done right. I think. But sometimes, I still feel like I was choosen last. You know those scenes in the movie, where the captain chooses their team mate? I always feel like I was the last one choosen. Maybe because they have been together longest? Or maybe because I don’t speak the language? Or maybe because of who I am as a person. But I don’t really blame them, I guess it’s my fault.
Forgive your past self.
I’m not so sure about this. I don’t really have a past to forgive on. Or do i?
(I just realized how long this list is, so I will try to be more concise)
Start making the changes you know you need to make
WHAT CHANGES?
“Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever” – this is him again. I think. But but but, he still makes me happy. Sometimes. Yea, im stupid that way.
Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet
This looks fun. “Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all”
Well, the thing is, I keep making the wrong decisions.
Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now.
I am very grateful with what I have right now. I know there are a lot of people less fortunate that I am, and I am very much grateful for what I have. But sometimes, I really can’t control my jealous type. They have like this, they go to this, and whatever. But I keep telling myself that what I have now is more than enough and I shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s an everyday struggle, but I know what I have.
I have always thought that I could get anything I want as long as I put my mind to it. But there are things that I really can’t have. That makes me angry and want to throw a tantrum but I realize that I am too old for that sht. I have to learn to accept these things, however hard it seems.
“There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. So use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in conttol of the way you look at life.”
I will accept these things.
No matter how hard it is.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, so man up, self!
Do something every day that makes you happy
What if nothing makes me happy anymore?
“Life is short”
“Invest in the activities you deeply care about”
“You have to experience life on your terms before you can be life-giving to others”
I really need to get a hobby. Any suggestions?
Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunites
But how?
Hobbies. Interests. What.
Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about everything
Now, this is what this blog is all about. Being honest with myself. You see, I haven’t been honest with a lot of people in my life. I told lies to be interesting. I had to keep up with it. But then I realized, I don’t really have to do that. Fuck what people say, this is me. If you don’t love me, then leave. (I hope I am this confident in real life).
“Confidence comes from knowing that what youre doing is right, and that what you’re doing is right for YOU”
Believe in your abilities.
Focus in writing your story, instead of reading, watching, and hearing about everyone else’s
I feel like I have been doing this at some point of my life. I guess, my life was so boring I had to make it a bit interesting by watching others. But I realized again, that this was wrong.
Pay close attention to your life as you’re living it
This is what I am also practicing. Being in the present. Maybe because of my work that I have missed a lot of stuff happening in my loved one’s lives, but now I will try to be there. To be present. I used to ask myself whenever someone invites me, “what will I do there”. Today, I will answer myself with “Just be there, be present.”
Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all
I guess what’s good about me is that I don’t take it all seriously. Most of my friends can attest that. But I guess there are certain aspect in life that you should take seriously. Differentiating them is the lesson life gives you.
“people with good sense of humor have a better sense of life” REALLY NOW
Lastly, (thank God), Go out of your way to be loving and kind to others too
Heh, this is hard. I have been known to be maldita and judgemental. How do I stop?
“people who love themselves come across as very caring, generous, and kind to others too”
so today, I will try to be loving and caring. It is hard. But I will really try to go out of my way to do this. I hope everyone does, to make this life a better place.
Parting thoughts: Start looking at yourself more. Notice yourself more. Eventually, you’ll realize you love yourself more. You have nothing else, but yourself, so you really don’t have a choice. I know I will do the same. This will be my self-help blog for loving myself. I will keep you posted on my “progress”, if there’s any.
Cheerios.
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