#self hatred for real

[barrel-crow-n]

The crows povs summarised

Kaz: Revenge. Vengeance. Violence. Hate. Jordie. Inej. Violence. Pain. Suffering. Revenge. Revenge. Fuck Van Eck. Jordie. Jordie. I fucking hate Pekka Rollins. Inej. Inej. Inej.

Inej: I'm strong now. I have a purpose again! I miss my parents :(. I hate slavers. I'm going to kill Kaz, but also he's super hot. I love my friends :). I love my parents. Suli proverbs. I am a badass. I hate Tante Heleen. I am going to carve out the hearts of Jan Van Eck and Pekka Rollins.

Jesper: Look at me! I'm so funny! I hate myself. Flirting. Kaz is hot as fuck. Wylan is kinda cute. Guns. I love my revolvers. I love being a criminal. I hate what I've become. I just want to make my da proud. Guilt. Guilt. Hey why are you looking past my funny exterior. Hey why are you doing that, please stop.

Wylan: I'm not a criminal. What am I doing here??? Fuck Kuwei. I hate my dad. Jesper's hot. I'm doing this for Inej; for my mother. Kaz is terrifying... but that's not going to stop me from mouthing off to him. I am good at demo thank you very much. But also I hate chemistry. How is this my life.

Nina: I am a badass grisha. Waffles. Food. Ravka. Matthias. I want to strangle Kaz. I want parem but also I hate it so much. I hate cravings. Grisha. I want Zoya's approval. Fuck Van Eck. I'm wracked with guilt over what I did to Matthias although it was to save his life. I'm broken. My powers are all wrong.

Matthias: Nina. Nina. Druskelle. Nina or the druskelle? I am a traitor :(. Djel. I have been practicing my religion wrong. I no longer want to be a part of a hate cult. Kaz is a demon. Inej is also a demon but I don't mind her as much. The grisha aren't that bad actually. Kaz is from hell. What the fuck is wrong with Kaz? These guys all need to go to military discipline.

#jesper's self hatred is so real #also kaz is... he's kaz #“whats wrong with him” “same thing that's always wrong with him. he's kaz brekker.” #also inej. slay queen. take them hearts <3 #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows duology

[bartonbones]

well, i don't miss playing with you. || Challengers, 2024. That I Would Be Good, Alanis Morrisette.

#challengers 2024 #challengers #patrick zweig #tashi duncan #art donaldson #the real villian of this movie is longing and self hatred in this essay i will

[popping-greenbean]

there are so many things that i could do so well,,, if only i could like.actually do them

#ok to rb or comment on if anyone wants to ??? i just want to ramble a bit #this post is about everything at once and nothing in particular but also very much about my art career wtf #i miss school already.having structure and clear immediate tasks to focus on and surrounded by people who i can tell myself can understand #like id still be feeling the raging imposter syndrome and self hatred but then at least i can still bury myself in schoolwork and #tell myself that its the best that i can do at the moment and i make excuses to forgive myself undeservingly for not doing more #back home with same old people into same old habits and i am once again 14 hiding in my closet writing edgy poetry plotting murder and #trying to ignore the yelling downstairs and trying to convince myself that its not my fault but at the core of it all it really is isnt it #and out of sight out of mind its harder to convince myself that i am still loved or worthy of it or even capable honestly #and craving the academic validation hearing someone say that what comes from my mind has any value at all any real meaning #and maybe then im still just trying to fool myself because what i want is for someone to believe im capable because i cant do it for myself #craving someplace i can distance myself from being who ive been all my life and guilt for not wanting what ive been lucky enough to receive #ok going to stop before i incriminate myself even more #prob will delete later but if i forget to haha hi #greenbean talks to plants

[not-another-robin]

My opinion does not hold any weight bc I am literally delusional about these fuckers

#on one hand i could write a 16 page essay about how alfred helped normalize for me the idea of being taken care of as a disabled adult #and the idea that being an adult who needs assistance with every day tasks does not make you useless #and helped me combat a lot of self hatred and hopelessness when i was diagnosed #and. TO ME. Batman and alfred feel like a genuinely positive representation of an autistic adult with executive disfunction with a caretake #but then again. i literally live in looneytoons land and most likely none of that has any canon evidence #if not the opposite #sorry lol i just. have thoughts but i know my thoughts are not well thought. you know #i would love to contribute to real conversations about the representation of disability but im. stupid

[fizzlehead]

this house is full of M-M-MADNESS!

(betty cooper / get out of my house - youtube)

#one thing about betty cooper is there's always someone in her house #evil dad. fake brother. dark manifestation of her own self hatred. real brother. etc etc etc #but ALSO her house being literally haunted is a metaphor for how she herself is haunted BY herself & her darkness & her family... #in a lot of ways betty IS her house and the house IS her. metaphorically! #so that's what's going on here #this one tested me it really did. but i'm happy w how it turned out :) #also this is quite possibly my favorite song EVER so i was sooooo worried that making this would ruin it for me. but it didn't!!!!! #also also i don't know if anyone other than me has this problem but when i watch mp4 files on tumblr the audio is almost always a little bit #unsynced so if it feels a little off watch it on youtube instead!! i spent a lot of time on the timing of everything so i want to make sure #people are able to see it the way that it's supposed to be #anyways. my home my joy i'm barred and bolted and i WON'T let you in. so. get out of my house and so on and so forth #riverdale #my amvs #taylor xoxo

[arohuacheng]

hua cheng body dysmorphia truther. that man does not have a realistic concept of what he looks like and he is not reasonable or healthy about the way that he looks either

#'haha he's super worried about being ugly but he's actually handsome!' wow that sounds like. a problem actually #this can also be interpreted as dysphoria. this is because hua cheng is extremely transgender. it's pretty separate for me though #hua cheng is so steeped in layers of self-hatred and insecurity over his appearance and dissociation from his own body #that of course he has no concept of what his face really looks like... #he's been shifting out of it and changing it for so long. he's been hiding it with bandages for so long. #he's been told that his eye is a deformity and a curse for so long. #he also grew up malnourished and abused i don't think he was in the mirror going 'whoa i'm handsome' as a child #and he died before he broke eighteen as a child soldier. so. not much time to get normal there. #anyway i think hua cheng showing his real face to xie lian was the bravest thing anyone's done ever #he was so so so brave and strong for going out in front of everybody and esp in front of xie lian like that #[ slaps roof of shapeshifter character ] this bad boy can fit so many body and appearance issues in it #talking #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hua cheng

[bumblingbabooshka]

A Klingon and a half Vulcan participate in a myriad of rituals.

#S'veyk #Ehergha #beas ocs #star trek ocs #klingon oc #vulcan oc #Ehergha is a very intense person who'll stare at you while he speaks #while S'veyk is likely to look away #They once got into a bit of an argument about that and how she spoke to him so quietly (this was before they were in a relationship) #and she finally admitted that she has difficulty looking and speaking to him in part because she felt very strongly for him #and was unused to it. Ehergha was quiet for a moment then told her it was fine then - as long as it wasn't due to cowardly hatred. #S'veyk : No. Decidedly not hatred. #<- Ehergha thought of those words for weeks and a month later he initiated a courtship #also the lower comic strip is them wrestling (pre relationship). Ostensibly to see how strong the other is after #flirt-banter about oh Klingons have victory running through their veins welll Vulcans might be naturally stronger blablabla #but in the end I think they just get a bit worked up from touching each other so much #bea art tag #also Ehergha asked if she knew any martial arts/self defense and S'veyk said she knew some Vulcan techniques #and he essentially said 'baby shit. lemme show you some REAL moves' <- how it starts.

[whump-queen]

“You’re better than this.”

[tw angst, depression, self-hatred, sort of a whumper-caretaker combo, implied suicidal ideation if you squint]

They felt their throat close up.

Was this supposed to feel like a pep talk?

They could read between the lines, you know. They weren’t that thick. They could hear the sentences finish in their head.

‘You’re pathetic. You’re lazy—’

“I—I know." Their throat clenched down again, the muscles tightening and squeezing around their words. They nearly grimaced at the sound of their own broken voice.

As if to prove them right.

“Hey. Look at me.”

The edge of frustration in that tone sent their emergency signals on edge. They lifted their gaze from that spot on the floor.

Whumper could see them fully now, and whumpee loathed how they must have looked right then—eyes brimming with tears, trying hard not to blink—god forbid the heavy drops breach their eyelashes and make everything worse.

Whumper grabbed them by the shoulders, their frustration boiling over, and shook them hard. Whumpee's voice cracked.

"Come on, snap out of it!"

“You know you’re better than this. You know you are—fuck, I know you are.“

They felt the tears now, streaking their cheeks and cooling in the chill of the room.

'Look at how far you’ve fallen.'

Whumper's tone grew more frantic now, that frustrated edge in their voice giving way to a full on desperate anger—

“Come ON— where did that FIRE go?”

'What the hell happened to you?'

“you used to be so—“

What— so strong? So self-assured? So confident?

. .

Was I?

Was that why you first fell for me?

It’s been so long. I can barely remember now.

.

Was that why you looked at me so differently that night, all those years ago?

With all the reverence and adoration in the world in your eyes—

as if you'd raze everything to the ground at my feet.

Please—tell me what it was— What did you see in me?

What did you see when you looked at me like that?

What was I like?

Please—please tell me—I—I cant find it anymore—

Whumper released their shoulders, turning away exasperated.

“Nobody’s gonna pull you up but you now.”

Whumpee curled in on themselves, the sobs were impossible to hold back now.

'You've got no one but yourself.'

Too much.

It hurts.

'Nobody but a person you despise.'

They let the tears fall willingly now, grieving something they could barely grasp.

That person they must've once been—they felt no more real than a ghost now.

Long dead.

They couldn’t do it anymore.

It hurt to remember.

It hurt to grieve.

Please.

Let them melt into the walls.

Let somebody find them in a week.

• • •

if you need therapy like me you can read more terrible angsty shit here:

Regrets | Tile | In the blur of the rain

#tf when u just— #*cries* #ammirite guys haha #whump drabble #angst whump #sad shit #angst #whump writing #my writing #tw mental health #depression #self hatred #tw depression #idk prolly more tags but #no energy rn so #lmk if I missed anything #pffft lmfao #when u get whumped by ur own brain pffskskdjfj #the real whumper was our own internal dialogue all along #✨✨✨ #rip that this is the first drabble i’ve posted in ages and it’s this shit #will be back with your regularly scheduled power trip content shortly 😭

[total-drama-brainrot]

my total drama oc is a reversal of the show's pre-established "villain" archetype.

right off the bat, they're just the worst person; outright antagonistic towards everyone and constantly causing conflict amidst the cast, openly orchestrating people's eliminations, blatantly cheating but in such a way that technically they're not breaking any rules- without disguising themself behind a mask of geniality (like alejandro, heather and julia did).

and they're kept around well into the competition because their villainy? it's ratings gold. people love a good antagonist, especially one that's so productive. the audience loves to hate them, or hates that they love them, and everyone is gunning for their downfall- which only becomes more and more tempting with every elimination.

plus, chris is more than happy to enable them so long as they keep things interesting.

interestingly enough, they never seem to use the confessional. or at least, none of their confessions are aired. well, that's not exactly true. one confession is aired, and it's them boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, and that they don't deserve to hear their thoughts.

consequently, the audience has no idea what they're thinking at any given time, only seeing glimpses of their schemes throughout the episode until everything comes to fruition- like a puzzle finally being completed. it's a smart move for the network, because it means the audience gets to watch their plans play out in 'real time' without their insight/foreknowledge, making it just as impactful to the viewers as it is to the competitors. it helps with immersion, which is a boon for the ratings!

until their elimination, wherein their confessions are played out on the big screen, and it's heartbreaking.

they explain, in their first confession, that they were accosted by chris at the beginning of the competition to act as the main antagonistic force for the show, and that he's turn a blind eye to their antics so long as they kept the viewers watching, even paying them a decent salary if their act was good enough. because they're smart- smart enough to play the rest of the cast like a fiddle if they wanted to, and chris wants them to.

what a great deal, right? being given blanket permission to be as conniving as possible, and a pay check to boot- who wouldn't take the opportunity?

and they round it out by "getting into character" on camera, sneering haughtily at the lens and- you guessed it- boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, before giggling dorkily at the silliness of their statement, commenting that it'd we way too obvious they were faking if they acted that snooty. they're a theatre kid at heart, so the idea of "playing the villain" is exciting! it's going to be so fun!

but their second confession is sombre. they're visibly tired, wiping away at the concealer under their eyes to reveal some heavy bags, and they're curled up into a pitiful ball in front of the camera. they divulge that the pressure to constantly live up to the shows expectations of antagonism is crushing, and their status as a social pariah is more draining than they'd care to admit, and that- despite the apparent glee they've been committing these acts of villainy with- being so outwardly morally corrupt has left them with a constant churning of guilt in their gut. they only agreed to be the "bad guy" for the money, which would help their family's financial situation tremendously, but they're growing increasingly uncertain if the reward justifies the risks.

by the third confession, they're actively sickened by their actions, eventually devolving from airing their frustrations, lamenting their choice to method act as such an awful person, to throwing up into the confessional's toilet as they hold back guilt-leaden tears and repeat a mantra of "i'm sorry, i'm sorry,". they're drowning in the murky waters of their persona, and backing out now would only lead to more scrutiny and suspicion from the people who were supposed to be their friends, and they know they'd deserve the mistrust. plus, backtracking from their deal with chris would jeopardise everything- from the dirty money they've earned from their antagonism to their place in the competition itself; they'd be voted out in a heartbeat without the network's safety blanket of plot armour!

they don't know what to do. they barely even know who they are anymore.

and then the camera's focus cuts to the real-time them, who's sat ashen-faced and deathly still as their weakest moments are broadcast, not only to the people who rightfully hate them, but to the whole world.

#we've seen “charming persona villainous person” now get ready for “villainous persona poor little meow meow person” #it's like alejandro and julia's 'character arcs' but backwards. kind of. #instead of going from fake-nice to real-mean. they go from fake-mean to real-depressed. oops. #i think it's unrealistic to expect a ~16 year old to be some mastermind villain without it having some mental health consequences #plus being outright encouraged to be an awful person would be so so bad for anyone's sense of morality. not to mention the self-loathing-- #that's stems from both KNOWING you're a bad person and being ostracised by your peers because of such. #yet having no idea how to change for the better without putting everything you've worked for (everything you've suffered for) at risk #what i'm trying to say is. my total drama oc needs therapy and maybe a hug #it's giving kokichi ouma but with less self-sacrifice and more angst/self hatred #it'd be totally in character for chris to pay off the series' antagonist in a bid for more drama btw. don't even act like i'm wrong. #(it's happened in canon before with owen's mole arc in action!) #though ig this type of character wouldn't appear in a cartoon aimed at kids/tweens. #unless they're trying to teach their target audiences morality/the consequences of being a bad person? 🤔 #anyway- #total drama oc #ophe rambling #character analysis #sort of? more like character outline #love me some sympathetic villains!! #long post #feel free to ignore #is this too angsty for a total drama oc? idk 🥶

[uncanny-tranny]

I've seen some discussions pop up about gender dysphoria and how it's treated and pathologized, and in my opinion, gender dysphoria is a real feeling in that many trans people are dysphoric, but that medical professionals (notably cis ones) only hear what they want to hear. When it comes to gender dysphoria, I don't think it is inherent to being trans, but there is correlation between being trans and having gender dysphoria. I also think that dysphoria is exasperated when gender roles are so tied to sex and personhood - in my opinion, I think a lot of people's dysphoria may be eased in environments where perceived gender deviance is not seen as horrific or undesirable.

Basically:

1. Gender dysphoria is real and certain aspects of one's culture or environment can make those feelings more persistent. Gender dysphoria can look different between people, and that doesn't mean that one person's dysphoria is worse than another person's, or that one person's dysphoria is "right" while somebody else's is "wrong".

2. Gender dysphoria is tied to transness in a way that I think only pathologizes transness, and gender dysphoria shouldn't need to be proven in order to transition (socially, medically, any way)

3. Gender dysphoria can be a dynamic issue for anybody who has it, and a person's needs may change as their dysphoria changes or becomes lesser

4. Gender dysphoria is something a ton of people deal with - trans or no. Associating dysphoria with only trans people doesn't help the dysphoric people who aren't trans. Again, associating dysphoria only with trans people pathologizes transness itself because people will conflate the two.

5. For trans people with gender dysphoria, transition is a viable (and often necessary) form of treatment. It is not "enabling", it is helping trans people meet their needs. Transition is an option that is often successful, hence why forms of conversion therapy do not work. Transness is simply a natural variation of human identity.

I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria/GID many times by many professionals, and I find that more often than not, these professionals are not equipped to deal with cases of gender dysphoria - especially when the person is also trans. This can be harmful because you essentially are meant to deal with those feelings alone.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #gender dysphoria #dysphoria tw #like gender dysphoria is a complex topic and i can see where everybody's coming from #essentially i want to get rid of the idea that transness is something which must be pathologized #because it is a part of human identity #which is *precisely* why conversion therapy doesn't work for the vast vast *vast* majority of us #and which is why those people who are put into conversion therapy for their gender are fucking miserable.. #...because they are told again and again and AGAIN that *who they are* is wrong. who /wouldn't/ be miserable in those conditions? #so many trans people do try to go through things like conversion therapy because we live in a scary world to be trans #like i did almost DIY conversion therapy because of the self-hatred i internalized because of transphobia #anyway... rant over #gender dysphoria is real and it isn't just trans people who experience it #i reject the idea that only we can experience gender dysphoria because it will lead to pathologizing us #which then leads to people trying to 'cure' us because if it can be pathologized surely it can be eradicated right? #(when people talk about 'curing' dysphoria some will not think about real solutions like transition - it will be conversion therapies)

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Things I Want from the Next Ep of Only Friends

At least two scenes with Nick and Sand being friends. We didn't get enough, I want more of the two of them!!

Related, I kind of want a scene with Nick and Ray. I want to become weirdly close friends and both Boston and Sand finding a little weird (not in a jelous way, more in like I am not sure how I feel about this way).

The start of a storyline for Chuem and April (I have some ideas of possibilities)

Any hints about Top and Sand backstory (seriously I need answears!!!) @respectthepetty Looks like we will have to wait at least until the next episode or more to know why these two hate each other!!

SIDE NOTE: I have a new theory, what if they were both dating the same person for a while? Like Sand was in an open relationship and the person he was dating was also sleeping with Top??

Anything that can help me understand why Mew is willing to be be Top and ingore all the red flags. Seriously this man has avoided all relationship so far, why is Top special, why ignore all the signals that Top is not the one for him. Why Top???

#txt #that's all i can think of so far #i am sure there will be more #this show as consumed my entaire self #only friends #only friends the series #ofts #the sand theory is because he seems to be wary of ray's friends who have sex weird realtionship #but i also believe him when he said he only sleep with people more then once if they are dating #him having being an open not clearly defined relationship and that person also being with top would explain their hatred #and the feeling we all get from sand that he knows this is a bad idea #because he has done it before #it would be even more interesting if the person sand had been dating had a crush on top #that would be a real oh my god i can't believe i am doing this a second time kind of situation #but it could be something else #it could also not be that deep #maybe it's just that he thinks he is an asshole #but i don't know #the comment of maybe you just don't know how to take care of what is yours kind of feels personal #and about more then just ray and mew

[kimtaegis]

I’m either nearly bursting with the love I have to give or am a second away from erupting from the anger seething inside me there’s no in between

#anger slash full-on hatred sometimes to be more specific #there are days where every second thought of mine is literally Be Fucking For Real #some people drive me NUTS #and I just want to let all this saltiness and frustration and annoyance OUT of me #but I don’t want to be that kind of person ughhhhhhhhhh #the petty shady things I’m itching to post on here sometimes istg it’s an exercise in self-control

[blondiest]

(crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again. [2 minutes pass] (crying) [2 minutes pass] okay im normal again.

#help i forgot how completely fucking wretched i feel on my period #i have given myself a headache from crying and have cycled through ten different varieties of self hatred and i don't have ANY WEED!!! #i am aware that i'm being annoying but unfortunately for all of us that won't stop me #sorry. i will be okay again tomorrow hopefully but i am going through it and that means im dragging all of u with me #we're holding hands btw. bc IM SAD. #there isn't even a real concrete reason that i'm sad like everything is mostly fine? but i am. not fine #blondiepost

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

Re: the end of your Joever/renegade post, it’s almost like wondering at what point does the “rough patch” cease to be a rough patch and just how the person *is*. As in, this is just how they choose to exist or are most comfortable living as a person.

(Not villainizing him at all, it’s just alluding to what you and others said… at some point it stops being a single issue or issues to fix and starts revealing itself to just be fundamental differences in compatibility and outlook.)

Just got this and I know it was sent pre-TTPD tracklist, but yeah!! Like it makes so much sense to me that a relationship would take over a year to go from Renegade to YLM and then another year to reach breaking up for good. That honestly feels like the most normal progression in the world, and I’m sooo interested to hear how she describes this experience and gives voice to something that I think a lot of people have been through.

I’ve talked about it on here before but my current relationship is 6 years old, and Renegade literally sparked some very VERY serious conversations for us when it came out because it gave voice to things we were dealing with and we were able to address using the language she offered us in the song. That was a definite “rough patch.” We nearly broke up, and had a real epiphany about things that we both needed to change in order to continue, and the types of support we both needed in order to stay safe and healthy. I felt so seen by Renegade and then in midnights as well- labyrinth and The Great War come to mind - the decision to stick it out. When I heard about joever it hit me (and others, from what I’ve heard!) suuuuper hard because it was like wait. Whatever measures they took after Renegade and the Great War actually didn’t fix it; what does that mean for me!? I was soo shaken up because of how strongly I related to the struggle (as it was portrayed to us). But that gets to the point of this ask: the difference between a rough patch and something un-fixable. I’m certain this will come up on TTPD, and it’ll be a deep portal time travel exploration of how she came to that exact conclusion. I can’t wait.

#i also have thoughts about how would’ve could’ve should’ve fits into all this: our rough patch was directly related to my PTSD #Which got significantly worse in 2021 and my partner was having secondary ptsd from watching me have WCS style freak outs #And feeling powerless about it #So would’ve could’ve should’ve feels very related to the processing of wether the relationship is in a rough patch #and dear reader #It’s hard to tell what is Real when you’re Falling Apart. Hence the whole concept of midnights! Exploring the past to understand the presen #And I think Joe likely was happy to attribute all of their problems to Taylor (this was my experience with an ex)- #He coasted on my self hatred and didn’t really object when I had anti hero moments #So then when the same stuff started to come up with my current partner and he showed up and took responsibility for his own stuff… #That really clarified that it was a rough patch that was possible to work through with the right person #And that my history/situation didn’t make me inherently unloveable etc #It’s just so poetic that midnights (an album about choices) led to the choice to end her relationship #And something about autonomy there too #C #would’ve could’ve should’ve hours #Ptsd #trauma #joever

[the-path-to-redemption]

Pathi's Note: Reading through your tags, I have to agree. Ruby has ALL the rights to be mad, but let's not pretend that these stans aren't the same ones who would dick ride Jaune and possibly have a stigma against any mental disorder symptoms that aren't "pretty" enough for them.

You know what? No, I know that they do, because they have treated literally every other character with trauma except from Blake like shit, and she's only an exception because in their eyes, "she's victim enough".

Having trauma or any other mental disability isn't always "pretty" to watch; it's rough, explosive, harsh, and any other "ugly" words you want to use because it's not supposed to be pretty. A person with any mental disorder DOES NOT need to act a certain way for anyone to take their diagnosis seriously and without stigma. A person with trauma is STILL a person with trauma, even when they snapped at someone.

You can judge the action, this is not me saying that having mental disorders excuse you from acting cruel to others. But Ruby is entitled to feel the way she feels about Penny and about Jaune, and she shouldn't be crucified for that especially when her reasons are more than valid.

#submission #hanashi0n #ruby deserved better #penny deserved better #I can't help but wonder #Are you lazy or afraid? #Are you afraid of having Jaune *gasp* facing consequences of his actions? #afraid of real long lasting conflict? #Are you afraid of the effort of writing a realistic response to trauma? #Are you afraid of how “unpretty” it can look? #God forbid Ruby isn't an innocent all-forgiving ray of sunshine paragon of goodness but a complex character #God forbid she changes #God forbid she looks talks and treats him differently #God forbid she shoves him against the wall and yells at him the way he was allowed to #God forbid the narrative doesn't kiss Jaune's ass #That'd be a cost too great wouldn't it Miles #seriously the healthiest way to react to this is to get angry #Not challenging Jaune and not writing people emote differently to his decisions isn't good for his character either by the way #I don't reckon Ruby would be the only one to be “not ok” to him killing Penny and instantly get over it #In all fairness Ruby would also be projecting her anger and self-hatred at Jaune imo #Because she knows that she also had a hand in Penny's death #Jaune killed Penny but she too created the circumstances that led to her death #if he was allowed to snap and victim blame her for things that were not her fault at all and were also HIS fault #she should have this luxury too #I'm sorry for ranting but Eddy's comment about Ruby and the fans eating that up just turns me rabid even months later #God I've never seen a series that fumbles at the BASICS of good writing so fucking much #rwde #rwby critical #fndm critical #ruby rose critical

[dutybcrne]

Making myself sad by wondering if Kaeya had NEVER seen Diluc mad at him before that fateful confrontation

#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//Kae getting mad at Luc for whatever and streasing him tf out? yes #//But what if Diluc; having been told by Crepus to help look after Kae and what he’s been through; resolved to be endlessly patient #//No matter how resistant Kae is to opening up; no matter how many times he’s frozen out #//No matter how many mistakes Kaeya made; again and again; even if they hurt Luc in the process #//What if bby Luc managed to ensure Kae would NEVER see him upset with him; EVER #//That sincere; ray of sunshine keeping that promise to his father until That Day #//Until Crepus was gone & Kaeya; likewise hurt & spiraling; finally pushed Luc past the breaking point he was already toeing the line of #//And THAT was the first time Kae ever bore the full brunt of Diluc’s fiery anger #//FINALLY knew what it was like to be the one on the other end of it; having only ever seen others get that treatment & happy he never had #//And no matter how hard Kae’d tried to harden his heart after seeing Crepus with that delusion; tried to steel his resolve #//He broke all over again. & far worse than the damage Dawn could ever do to him. All bc of that rage & weight of what he did to incur it #//He’d rather let that fiery phoenix consume him in full and agony than ever bear such hatred from Luc again #//Even if he’s come to see annoying Diluc as the only real way to get his attention nowadays. But what else can he do? Leave him be? #//He knows damn well he can’t. He’s too sentimental for that; no matter how flippant he makes himself out to be #//Love to think on the flip side; Luc after processed what he did/what happened; after his destructive; murderous time in Snezhnaya #//Just resolved to never let his anger go that far EVER again. No matter how he’s pushed or prodded #//He’s seen firsthand how dangerous and irreversible the effects of his anger can be. In Snezhnaya & the Fatui. In Kaeya #//He would swear to NEVER take that lightly and lapse his self-control in such a way ever again #//Bc sb he cares abt; like Kaeya; might not be so lucky the next time around if he’s not careful