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atbussysparks · 9 months

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MORE SCOUT HEADCANONS???? THIS MUTHAFUCKER OUT OF CONTROL!!!!

YALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE⁉️⁉️⁉️BACK WITH IT AGAIN YALL KNOW THE DRILL 🗣️🗣️

He tries to swim in the air if he's held by the waist

He died on December 4th 1987 because he finally listened to something other than Tom Jones for the first time in seven years and melted into a hot radioactive waste full of uranium, radium, graphite, zirconium, titanium magnesium and silicone dioxide. The song was "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles.

The only facial hair he ever had has a fu manchu

He has ridiculously big earlobes that he gauges when he's 30

He and spy once tricked a bunch of oysters on a beach to come back home with them but spy are them all before scout could even get the seasonings.

SIKE BITCH!!! THESE ARE TOKI HEADCANONS 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Toki Wartooth 🔛🔝❗❗❗

He also has giant earlobes, but every cat he's ever has sucks on them so he can't gauge them

He'd like to be under the sea in an octopus' garden, in the shade.

He hates everything to do with whipping. Or caning. If he hears a belt snap he starts chewing on his hand until it bleeds.

He was hyperdontia, and his canines are spiked because they're chipped!

He can sew very well, and has a pimp hat with Garfield embroidered on it.

The first American song he ever heard in America was "nasty bxtch" by bustdown.

He claims that the Norse god Loki appears in his room on occasion and leaves him peppers and sweets. This actually DOES happen. but every single time, Toki has been microdosing datura so even he has no idea if it's true.

He Stole a lobster and named it Björk. He's also stolen both hands from a mannequin in a jc Penny's when he was 17 in America.

He came to America when he was 16 years old, very close to 17, and had his 17th birthday in a thrift shop with an old couple.

Got high and called Dr rockso up and said "yous a bitch. Your mom ams a bitch. Your hair ams wack. Yo gear ams wack. Uuuuhhhh, Kafkaesque. Fuckins' pogo the clown bitch.... Okay, loves you rockzo, bye! *+꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡"

Rockzo was sitting right next to him egging him on.

A fan drove his car over a bridge with his wife inside over him but Charles made sure he never found out.

He listens to music while coloring and Murderface heard him listening to power metal, glam rock, 1980s pop, and death metal. In the midst of it all, pain loomed over them when ave maria began playing. Murderface brought him some garlic pickles after that.

His favorite pony is rainbow dash.

Anthrax doesn't affect him for whatever reason

He has a very faint scar that wraps from one end of his face, over the nose, and across to the other side (I'm not just projecting bro trust 🙏🏼)

His second favorite drink is pineapple fanta he WILL tear that shit up. Put a grocery store clerk outta house and home. Give the landfills somethin to cry about. Nathan walked into his room vaguely frightened and witnessed him surrounded by pineapple sody pop. It dripped from his his hands and walls n shit like a crime scene involving a mace.

Nathan quells his rage with pineapple slices. Pickles carbonated pineapple juice for him in secret and says "hehe quick get in there lil fucker." Skwisgarr lost an eyebrow to this event.

Goes to the Everglades and straight up harasses nature

#headcannons #tf2 scout #team fortess 2 #team fortress two #fanon #toki wartooth #deathklok #metalocalypse #death metal #shitpost #shitposting #dank humor #fresh memes #dank memes #sparkling list

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lemonadetyler · 5 years

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peter finds out you’re a villain

request: Head cannon on you being Peters nice, shy girlfriend but secretly you being an anti hero and Peter goes to where you are and seeing you in dark, tight spandex makes him very flustered ;)

pairing: peter parker / spiderman x reader

type: headcanon / smut

a/n: i adjusted the ask a lil bit, instead of villain / anti hero i went with vigilante. i hope that’s okay! send me an ask to join the tag list below!!

“bye, babe.” peter kisses you as he leaves your apartment after riding the train over to brooklyn with you like the sweetheart he is

“see you tomorrow?” you ask all wide eyed and cute like u be

“ofc, darling” he told u

he was always so worried about you

& you can totally handle yourself. you can do a lot more damage than that but if peter knew the truth, he would be crushed & what homeboy don’t know can’t hurt him

so peter leaves & you go into your room

sweater off

leggings gone

scarf deceased

your cute lil usual fit is on the floor

shy & sweet u gone

bad bitch u is here

your sexy ass has squeezed into your suit

u look fuckin good, feelin yourself

but u already knew that

do u cause a lil trouble when you go out? sure, but it’s so much fun

so ur out ur window and hopping rooftop to rooftop like the badass u be

u were kind of like a modern day robin hood but more violent and less predictable

out here avenging the world’s wrongs w/ some fun for yourself on the side

what shall it be tonight? u robbed some wealthy asshole last week. tomorrow ur busy sneaking into a prison & going all mercenary on some dumbass

u were absolutely awful, but only to the people who deserved it most

“god i am so in the mood for torture right now.” u say to yourself

so u do some scouting

tired retail worker = a bad target

lost girl at night was equally uninteresting

man following lost girl? now that could be interesting.

so u watch & wait

but all my ladies out there know damn well what’s about to go down

and yeah, shit hit the fan

but yall coulda guessed that

this dirty vacuum bag really tries to get with this girl, she wasn’t having it, he decides that fucking rape is next on today’s agenda

so u swoop in

see, ur not abnormally strong or powerful

but u have two things that these fuckers out don’t: 1. the element of surprise and 2. a really, really cool bat who you have affectionately named “bubbles”

its cute

anyways, back to the ass whooping you dishing out

so you might have broke into a police car last night

stole some handcuffs

but youre gonna give them back!!

just not at the moment

you handcuff this lil bitch to a bike rack

take the girl into a restaurant

make shes okay and get her a ride home

okay back to this fucker

he’s huffing and puffing like he finna blow this bitch down

like really

get a grip

so you uncuff him

and this man takes off

“i hate the runners” you say

gotta chase after this dude now

finally you catch up to him

knock him down with bubbles the bat

“dude, i just wanna talk” you tell him as he lays on the ground

“really?” he looks at u like he bouta cry

“lmao no.” you laugh and hit him with bubbles again

dumb bitch

but THEN

you’re knocked on ur ass by someone

you start to look up to see who it was

your vision is a lil blurry but u can kinda make out a figure

“is that fuckin spiderman”

“that’s gonna hurt tomorrow, miss.” he tells you

“i’d go home and ice it.” IS SPIDERMAN REALLY TELLING U TO PACK UR SHIT AND GO HOME RIGHT NOW??

“fuck i wish i had superpowers” you mumble to yourself

you can’t really compete with spiderman

gonna have to talk your way outta this one

“hello, mr. man?” you say all cute like “Imma need you to hand me that man back.” you finish

“no can do.” spiderman tells you

“i really don’t think the spiderman brand should be supporting attempted rapists” GET FUCKED BUG BOY

“did he?” spiderman looks at the man on his arm

“sure did.” you clarify

“i still I don’t think I can condone you beating him like you were.” spiderman tells you

“i’m simply doing god’s work” you say, trying not to laugh

“god’s work.” spiderman looks at you straight faced, unimpressed

now you begin to approach spiderman

“what are you doing in brooklyn tonight, spiderman?” you say SEDUCTIVELY LIKE YES GIRL

“just passing through” spiderman says

“well,” you bite your lip (agh!!!!) “maybe next time you should stick to queens.”

WHO NEEDS THE ICE NOW, SPIDERMAN?

“who are you?” spiderman asks you, genuinely perplexed

“it wouldn’t be as fun if I told you, would it?” you answer.

you grab the man out of spiderman’s hands, walking away, confident as hell

spiderman grabs you by your hips and turns you around

“you sound so familiar” he tells you

like can you fuck off

“not gonna like, i thought you’d be cooler” you respond

the almost rapist takes the opportunity to run away so that’s great

and spiderman just doesn’t care

“what the actual fuck man??” you say “i’m not running after that dumbass again.”

in the midst of your ranting, spiderman rips your fucking mask off

like IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED

“i knew there was no way you weren’t mine”

WHAT

THE

FUCK

before u can even register what has happened, he rips his mask off

“surprise!” your BOYFRIEND PETER shouts, NOT SPIDERMAN

“what?” you say in shock

“you were so confident and out there.” peter says in awe. “it was awesome. i didn’t know you could be so… dangerous.” he says after finding the right word.

“what are you gonna do about it?”

so peter kisses you

but like, aggressively

pushes you up against a wall

“you should wear this more often” he tell you

“you like it?” you ask

“like it? im gonna fuck you in it.”

ur pussy might as well be a super soaker bc that bitch is drenched

peter rips your suit open

“you got more of these?”

“yeah but maybe we fuck in this one from now on”

he’s got your nipple in his mouth

hands down your pants

you might just come right then and there

but peter’s suit is equally tight

and he’s been hard since he first knocked you down

WHICH, BY THE WAY, HE DIDN’T KNOW TO BE YOU AT THE TIME SO YALL DEFINITELY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT

“stop teasing me” you breathe out

slowly, which is basically still teasing, peter slides inside of you

moving in & out of u, his cock coated in your juices

“harder, peter.” you beg as he tentatively hits your clit with each move

THIS TIME, FINALLY HE DOESN’T HOLD BACK

boy goes to work

slamming in & out of you

“fuck, daddy, right there.”

also, peter didn’t know about your daddy kink until right now so i guess this is confession night

but he totally digs it

he grabs onto your hips tighter than ever before

sliding you on and off his dick as your back is to the wall

your legs are wrapped around his hips

you’re literally getting fucked hard in an alleyway at midnight by the spiderman

who would’ve thunk it

you both come

, hard

yall compose yourselves

“we have so much to talk about tomorrow.” peter tells you

“you’re spiderman.” you say, it still hasn’t hit you quite yet

“and you’re a vigilante with a daddy kink.”

“touche, parker.”

tag list: @smilexcaptainx @just-an-average-nerd @mstoomanynames @bcndevik @asadmarveltrashbag @bookgirlunicorn @spiderlingsweb @peterlikescats @i-alyssa

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