#scientifically inaccurate blob

[leafkidsblog]

started drawing and ended up with a salamander so I picked colors similar to a cave salamander (Eurycea lucifuga) for it.

#artists on tumblr #mspaint #salamander #doodle #transparent png #silly #transparent #bad art <3 #leaf's art #scientifically inaccurate blob #herps #alt text

[relevy]

Welcome to the "Tales From The Ridge" unofficial guide to alien life! For those not in the know, TFTR is a space western fiction podcast available for immediate consumption on the podcast platform of your choice!

[Image Description: A gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. The text says "Tales From The Ridge: an unofficial guide to alien life. End Image Description]

Where are we?

Loosely? A fictional andromeda galaxy where humans have settled a few centuries after leaving earth. 

There is no central government or governing body.

There are a handful of planets with sentient life and civilization.

Humans are not widely trusted by other aliens and in areas with heavy human concentrations society largely functions like the wild west of the American frontier.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a 3 pronged rock formation against a starry galaxy. End Image Description]

What Are Sentients?

Outside of humans there are five major players when it comes to sentient life in this galaxy. 

Jontar - gigantic matriarchal four armed lizards.

Califera - Human sized grasshoppers.

Therians - Shapeshifters, mostly non-binary.

Vox - Space pirate foxes.

Cyborgs

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a fake alien with green skin and large black eyes in a silver jumpsuit sitting in a car. End Image Description]

Let's Start With Jontar

Good idea! Jontar get their name from Norse Mythology:

In Norse mythology, a jötunn or, in the normalised scholarly spelling of Old Norse, jǫtunn (/ˈjɔːtʊn/;[1] O.N.: Old Norse pronunciation: [ˈjɔtonː]; plural jötnar/jǫtnar [ˈjɔtnɑz̠]) is a type of entity contrasted with gods (Aesir and Vanir) and other non-human figures, such as dwarfs and elves.

They are a matriarchal society where mating females rip off and consume the heads of their mates like preying mantis! This means most males don’t live past the age of 30. As stated in the last slide they are gigantic, have four arms, scales, and neck frills. Big lizards. They do not communicate with verbal language and so their accents are often heavy and hard to understand.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a road side scientifically inaccurate upright t-rex sculpture against a galaxy background. End Image Description]

Alright Then...Califera?

Imagine if the grasshopper from “James and The Giant Peach” were people size. That’s basically it. Their society is highly mercantile and one of the oldest, so you’ll often see Califera in business ventures around the galaxy. Their bodies are gender fluid, taking on whichever make the most sense for the proliferation of the species at the time or depending on the needs of their family/partner. Califera have settled widely and as such their culture is by nature not homogenous.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a green grasshopper holding onto a green plant stalk. End Image Description]

Dare I Ask...Therians?

Therians are amorphous blobs of sentient goo which, with lots of practice, have become widely accepted as talented shapeshifters. The talent ranges with the therian in question. Most Therians are ambivalent toward gender, having no real connection to the concept as they reproduce asexually or by melding genetic material with other Therians. Therians do have a home planet where their society began in a primordial pool and still remains to this day. But being incredibly long lived, these sentients have spread themselves over the galaxy, largely on an individual basis rather than group migration.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a tipped over green jar of slime on a yellow background. There is a grey shark sinking into the goo. End Image Description]

Ok...Ok...Vox.

Imagine if Rocket Racoon were in the movie Treasure Planet and you’ll have the idea. The vox experienced a genocide within the last century and as such have become largely nomadic clan like groups that survive on raiding other space ships. You’ll see lots of Vox hired on to crews for all sorts of work but they are especially adept at anything tech related.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a red fox on a blurred background starring into the camera. End Image Description]

Last But Not Least...Cyborgs?

Cyborgs are an old old race of humanoid sentients whose culture and people have been largely wiped out by a disease only known as “the plague”. They resorted to fitting their organic bodies with non-organic tech to survive. But gradually that tech has been failing and slowly but surely the cyborgs are starting to disappear from the galaxy.

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a person wearing a motorcycle helmet, fingerless gloves, and a suit and tie sitting at a laptop, making an exasperated gesture. End Image Description]

[Image Description: A background gradient sunset picture purple to blue of a desert like environment with rock formations on the horizon. Another picture shows a skeleton on a parched desert background waving farewell. The text reads "Stay safe out there cowboy!". End Image Description]

#tales from the ridge #podcast #space western #fiction #fiction podcast #writers on tumblr #writing #space #aliens #sci fi #science fiction #writeblr #writers of tumblr #cowboys #yeehaw #relevy writes

[papirouge]

*I don’t often see pro-life tumblrs, and so I guess I got a little excited to talk to you about abortion. Something that, I‘m really passionate about.

Hi! So, to me I think that abortion is a lot more selfish in majority of cases then people realize, it’s really selfish that we do something that was biologically designed for the creation of another human being, and then do it anyway because it felt good despite knowing we aren’t able to take care of children, etc. Or know we don’t want to go through pregnancy but then do something that will directly lead to that, it’s incredibly dum and selfish to your child, who unlike you who had no say in the situation that the mother, the father and the child are in currently. (Her going through an unwanted pregnancy, and if the child is born, her going through having to raise it or maybe adopt it.)

People say it’s just a clump of cells. Which is disrespectful to women who have had miscarriages, which similar to abortions often happen in the first trimester. And, liberated women don’t let a clump ot cells ruin there lifestyle, right? It’s much more developed even from conception then people realize. There’s a difference between a clump of cells and an distinct organism, I found this pro-life article, and it’s really interesting:

“It's just a clump of cells, not a baby."

Most pro-lifers won't go more than a month or two without hearing this stubborn phrase. Pro-choicers often chant it as a one-liner to shoot down a pro-lifer's honest argument or just to express their unyielding abortion support. In cases where they actually believe it and are willing to discuss with you, it's important to have a few handy points up your sleeve to get them really listening.

Despite this phrase being both inaccurate and usually thrown about only to deceive or provoke anger, in a culture where '"repeating something enough makes it true," it has become a widely-held "fact" among the public. However, there is much to rebut against this argument, and that’s why it gets so tough. Where do we even start?

Well, to begin with, I often like to point out that every human alive right now, including both the pro-choicer and the pro-lifer, are also clumps of cells (or clusters of cells, blobs of tissue, etc.). This can prompt the opposition to get more specific as to the differences they are trying to highlight between the born and the unborn that they believe justify abortion. Two different paths can be taken from there, depending on their argument. The first is more scientific, and the second more philosophical. Ordinarily, they will both be touched upon at some point, in the respective order.

The first argument is that while all humans are technically "clumps of cells," what they mean is that early embryos or zygotes mostly consist of cells containing genetic information that are blueprints for any and all of their future body parts, called "(embryonic) stem cells," whereas older fetuses and born human bodies are more organized into groups of like cells, such as skin, organs, hair, etc. However, even in the earliest stages of fetal development (such as the blastocyst - a child around the age they implant in their mother’s uterus 3-5 days after fertilization), she is organized into parts, with her inner cells making up her body and the outer ones developing into her nourishing placenta. A bit later, when the child is 2-3 weeks old in the womb as an embryo, she has three layers of cells in her tiny body: The top layer (ectoderm) which gives rise to her outermost layer of skin, central and peripheral nervous systems, eyes, and inner ears; the middle layer of cells (mesoderm), from which her heart, primitive circulatory system, bones, ligaments, kidneys and much of her reproductive system will form; and the inner layer of cells (endoderm) where the child’s lungs and intestines will develop. By week 7-8, all of the fetus’s major organs/parts (heart, brain, spine, limbs) are fully formed and mostly functional. So, just as adult human bodies are more complex than those of infants, so born humans' bodies are more structured than those of unborn humans. But, that doesn't mean unborn human bodies are unorganized and inactive as the term "clump of cells" would imply — in fact, as we can see, they are quite complex already!

Some may object that while fetuses are not always clumps of cells, abortions take place so early in the pregnancy at which time they are not developed enough to be considered a "child." Countless embryology textbooks and medical professionals have confirmed the fetal development research outlined above. With that information in mind, let us take a look at further studies regarding the development of the fetus when most abortions are performed. Most mothers find out they are pregnant when they are between 4 and 7 weeks along - on average, around 5 and a half weeks. The earliest almost any abortion (chemical or surgical) can be performed is after 4 weeks gestation, when the child already has a detectible heartbeat. Although a majority of abortions are done in the first trimester of pregnancy, the child at that stage is already developing to a much greater extent than those who call him or her a "clump of cells" would like you to think, or even believe themselves. Moreover, abortions in the second and even third trimester are legal in the United States, happen tens of thousands of times a year, and are routinely committed for non-medical reasons.

Finally, there is the philosophical argument for abortion: using the phrase "clump of cells" to imply that the unborn are not "fully human," nor worthy enough to be called human beings nor a member of humanity. It's hard to argue with the science that proves fetuses are living human organisms, so some will take it a step further and admit they are, but still insist the unborn should not be treated as valuable "persons" like born humans are, because (1) they aren't as developed, (2) they are much smaller in size, and (3) they are more dependent upon others — especially their own mother — for survival. Your job is to get to the root of why they think these things matter so much that they determine which humans are "persons" who have human rights. When you look closely enough, you'll see that all these "requirements" are arbitrary and nonsensical, just as saying that a human's biological sex, skin color, or abilities (mental, physical, etc.) determine whether he or she has basic human rights. When we base human rights such as the right to life on anything other than someone's actual humanity, we are in for a lot of trouble. Talk about being on the right side of history for this one!”

In response to this, we might hear the bodily autonomy argument, “Nobody has a right to use my body.“ But, that can’t possibly apply to your own children? We say nobody has a right to use our resources, but what people fail to realize that when you have an abortion, that’s your child… not some random stranger and not “just” a clump of cells like some pro-choice advocates claim, multiple medical websites call it exactly that and fetus is Latin for small child or offspring

Some people consider the fetus not a person, such as claiming they don’t have sentience…but this article explains very well why that doesn’t make someone a person, also this, this, this, this

If you wanna talk message me

HUN YOU GOT SO MANY GOOD TAKES I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WERE TO BEGIN I'M HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW LMAOOO

For real it's 00:48 AM here I usually don't reply to asks this late but I'm getting so many notes I decided to post it now bc I was scared of not finding it in my activity tomorrow lol

I'll probably edit it and add a proper comment on all the incredible points you pull out but right now I can only but address the hypocrisy of abortionists stating how important consent is while being willing to kill an unborn child..... without its consent 🤡

It's so adorable seeing you being excited to talk about abortion and being pro life!! We are here we exist!! And most importantly we won't get shunned by abortionists. In the end of the day History always showed that people who argued that some lives didn't matter, were not human have NEVER been on the right side of History. They're wrong, point blank. But you know what? I was pro choice by default for a goof chunk of my life, so I don't think all of them are irredeemable. Just like you did, counter information is important. Educating. With facts, logic, reality. Abortionists ride with ideology, feelings and mantra ("my body my choice" "consenting to sex isn't consenting to pregnancy" "clump of cell" "parasites"......) Because they know reality is not on their side

I have so many other things to say but I'll stop for now. Time to sleep!! I'll get back to you with added content to make a proper comment on your post&links!!

💟

#tbc #answered

[sunevial]

A Chance Meeting

Who wants more sappy, fluffy original Meg content?

Have more lesbians.

A cool summer breeze danced between the treetops, fluttering under park benches and spinning past the jungle gym with curious abandon. After nearly a week of non-stop storms, the sun had finally come out to play, dragging everyone and everything with two ounces of sense outside. Children ran through the plastic structures and open fields, accompanied by tired parents with picnic lunches. Every so often, a group of joggers would take yet another lap around the circuit, the man out in front shouting encouragement to the clearly struggling crowd behind him.

Sol, for her part, considered her magazine to be both more intellectually stimulating and far more interesting. Curled up on her favorite park bench, she thumbed through pages of beautiful photographs, top investigative journalism, and the occasional slightly inaccurate scientific graphic. Brushing a lock of lavender hair out of her face, she flipped to an article about sea lions and dove right in.

It rather quiet day in New Haven.

Which of course meant that something had to happen eventually.

Just as Sol was nearing the end of her article (both informative and an easy read), electricity began crackling in the air. Every hair on Sol’s head stood on end, the energy so thick she could practically run her fingers through it. There was a flash of bright blue light and a large bang, loud enough to echo off the nearby trees and scatter a flock of birds. When her vision finally went back to normal, a woman stood in the middle of the path, backpack slung over her shoulder and two suitcases in hand. She was dressed in brightly colored clothing, striped gloves and tights with a blouse and jean shorts. A line of light blue dots ran across her copper skin. 

Ah, an interplanetary traveller. 

Nothing of too much note.

“I can’t believe that actually worked,” the woman said, laughing a bit as she set down her luggage. Pulling out a small handheld device, she pressed a button and watched as a small circular hologram hovered over the screen. She gave it a small glance before her eyes landed on Sol, the smile on her face brightening just a touch. “Hey, this is Toven, right?”

“Yup, you got the right planet,” Sol said, not looking up from her reading.

“Well, that’s good to know,” she replied with a sigh of relief. The woman tapped the screen a couple of times. “And we’re in…Wisteria, right?”

“Got the right country too. Not bad.” 

Grinning widely, she pinched the holographic image, turning the blob of light into what was probably the world’s most detailed map right before her eyes. “And just to make sure, we’re in the city of New Haven, right along the coast…or at least I hope I am.”

“You are, but you overshot the landing gate by about three or four miles,” Sol said, deciding to close her magazine for the time being. “This your first time planet hopping?”

“How’d you guess?” 

A slight smirk crossed Sol’s face.“The fact that you have absolutely no idea where you are, you overshot a gate, and you think you can navigate a Tovch city with a holomap.”

Wincing, the woman turned off the hologram maker and shoved it into one of her pockets. She took one of her hair twists and began spinning it with one of her fingers. “Right, you guys don’t have the satellite capabilities for that yet…well shit.”

Sol raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing that means that you’re lost as hell?”

“I think it’s at lost as fuck.”

Giving a slight nod, Sol rolled up her magazine and stuffed it into her purse. “Fair enough,” she said, walking over to the woman and pulling out her smartphone. “Where do you need to go?”

The woman craned her neck over, squinting her eyes as she seemingly wracked her brain for the address. “The…Windbreak Apartment Complex.”

So not a tourist but a transplant. Even more interesting. Sol chuckled a little, not bothering to look up directions. She knew that building…pretty well at this point. “Oh, that’s not far,” she said, turning off her smartphone and pointing her head down the path. “I’ll walk you over. Save you having to deal with a cab on your first day to a new planet.” 

Her eyes lit up. “Really? Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s on my way home,” Sol said with a shrug. “It’s not a problem.”

Before Sol could protest, the woman flung her arms around her. “Thank you so much,” she said, smiling wide. 

Sol let out a small gasp, giving a tight smile in return. “It’s really nothing. Please let go of me.”

“Whoops, right, gotta remember how to do greetings here.” She laughed a little as she promptly released the hug and held out a hand. “My name’s Venny. Nice to meet you.”

Without skipping a beat, she took it. “I’m Sol. And…nice to meet you too.” 

#my writing #my stories #two together are always going somewhere #venny #sol

[sakrumverum]

Responding to a Common Pro-Choice Tactic

"It's just a clump of cells, not a baby." Most pro-lifers won't go more than a month or two without hearing this stubborn phrase. Pro-choicers often chant it as a one-liner to shoot down a pro-lifer's honest argument or just to express their unyielding abortion support. In cases where they actually believe it and are willing to discuss with you, it's important to have a few handy points up your sleeve to get them really listening. Despite this phrase being both inaccurate and usually thrown about only to deceive or provoke anger, in a culture where '"repeating something enough makes it true," it has become a widely-held "fact" among the public. However, there is much to rebut against this argument, and that’s why it gets so tough. Where do we even start? Well, to begin with, I often like to point out that every human alive right now, including both the pro-choicer and the pro-lifer, are also clumps of cells (or clusters of cells, blobs of tissue, etc.). This can prompt the opposition to get more specific as to the differences they are trying to highlight between the born and the unborn that they believe justify abortion. Two different paths can be taken from there, depending on their argument. The first is more scientific, and the second more philosophical. Ordinarily, they will both be touched upon at some point, in the respective order. The first argument is that while all humans are technically "clumps of cells," what they mean is that early embryos or zygotes mostly consist of cells containing genetic information that are blueprints for any and all of their future body parts, called "(embryonic) stem cells," whereas older fetuses and born human bodies are more organized into groups of like cells, such as skin, organs, hair, etc. However, even in the earliest stages of fetal development (such as the blastocyst - a child around the age they implant in their mother’s uterus 3-5 days after fertilization), she is organized into parts, with her inner cells making up her body and the outer ones developing into her nourishing placenta. A bit later, when the child is 2-3 weeks old in the womb as an embryo, she has three layers of cells in her tiny body: The top layer (ectoderm) which gives rise to her outermost layer of skin, central and peripheral nervous systems, eyes, and inner ears; the middle layer of cells (mesoderm), from which her heart, primitive circulatory system, bones, ligaments, kidneys and much of her reproductive system will form; and the inner layer of cells (endoderm) where the child’s lungs and intestines will develop. By week 7-8, all of the fetus’s major organs/parts (heart, brain, spine, limbs) are fully formed and mostly functional. So, just as adult human bodies are more complex than those of infants, so born humans' bodies are more structured than those of unborn humans. But, that doesn't mean unborn human bodies are unorganized and inactive as the term "clump of cells" would imply — in fact, as we can see, they are quite complex already! Some may object that while fetuses are not always clumps of cells, abortions take place so early in the pregnancy at which time they are not developed enough to be considered a "child." Countless embryology textbooks and medical professionals have confirmed the fetal development research outlined above. With that information in mind, let us take a look at further studies regarding the development of the fetus when most abortions are performed. Most mothers find out they are pregnant when they are between 4 and 7 weeks along - on average, around 5 and a half weeks. The earliest almost any abortion (chemical or surgical) can be performed is after 4 weeks gestation, when the child already has a detectible heartbeat. Although a majority of abortions are done in the first trimester of pregnancy, the child at that stage is already developing to a much greater extent than those who call him or her a "clump of cells" would like you to think, or even believe themselves. Moreover, abortions in the second and even third trimester are legal in the United States, happen tens of thousands of times a year, and are routinely committed for non-medical reasons. Finally, there is the philosophical argument for abortion: using the phrase "clump of cells" to imply that the unborn are not "fully human," nor worthy enough to be called human beings nor a member of humanity. It's hard to argue with the science that proves fetuses are living human organisms, so some will take it a step further and admit they are, but still insist the unborn should not be treated as valuable "persons" like born humans are, because (1) they aren't as developed, (2) they are much smaller in size, and (3) they are more dependent upon others — especially their own mother — for survival. Your job is to get to the root of why they think these things matter so much that they determine which humans are "persons" who have human rights. When you look closely enough, you'll see that all these "requirements" are arbitrary and nonsensical, just as saying that a human's biological sex, skin color, or abilities (mental, physical, etc.) determine whether he or she has basic human rights. When we base human rights such as the right to life on anything other than someone's actual humanity, we are in for a lot of trouble. Talk about being on the right side of history for this one! [Today's guest post is by Liana Joy. If you would like to contribute a guest post, review our guidelines and email your submission to [email protected] for consideration.] https://blog.secularprolife.org/2021/07/responding-to-common-pro-choice-tactic.html

[cbdforptsd]

Here’s what should be understood regarding CBD

Please read this, it will make all the difference with your CBD experience. It’s about a 5 min read. Let us help you get the most out of CBD.

Outline:

– Overview of CBD

– What to know

– How to take it correctly

– What to expect

WHAT SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD REGARDING CANNABADIOL (CBD)

That is pronounced can’-uh-buh-dye’-ol.

There is a vast amount of information yet to be discovered about CBD. Some of it is accurate and as well as inaccurate. I hope to bring to you an elementary understanding of CBD and how it functions in your body. First off, let us start with what CBD is NOT. It is not the solution to all medical mysteries and ailments. Even though there are many claims, I would like to stick to what we have learned and what has been recognized as realistic. I will not go into everything that has been reported such as youth regeneration (fountain of life) or cure for cancer, Alzheimer’s, and ALH. To my understanding, all of that is most likely not proven to be true.

What is could be true is the fact that very believable reports have been coming in from all over the planet regarding reductions of pain, anxiety, stress, tremors, inflammation, improvements with autistic children, elimination of insomnia, relief of migraines, and so much more. There is not enough room to write it all down. CBD treatment is becoming a real phenomenon for adults of all ages with numerous conditions that have been reported to respond very well with each use.

CBD does not make you “high.” Unlike THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, CBD is non-psychoactive and – get ready for this – your body is designed to process and use CBD to assist with your health. So, this is where you need to try to visualize the way the process works. Your body has 12 “main systems” such as the skeletal system that keeps you upright in the shape of a biped and prevents you from becoming a blob of liquid and organs lying on the ground inside a big bag of skin. How is that for a visual? Your reproductive system is another of the 12 and works to keep our species reproducing and surviving.

The next system, called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), is where I want to focus on. It is designed for the purpose of taking the CBD that enters the body and distributing it to the receptors in your body that need them. The ECS is distributed everywhere including the brain, bones, cartilage, organs, as well as places in your body that you can damage or that requires healing. You do not need to know where to send the CBD. The ECS is designed for that purpose and for all mammals on the planet; not just us incredible human bipeds.

So, now you have a very basic understanding of CBD and your ECS. What is sometimes a little hard to understand is the timing of the process. Unlike medication, which can have fairly rapid results, CBD gets the ECS activated first and then works as a fuel to keep it going. Think of the ECS as a locomotive. To get a locomotive going, you need to have fuel and an open throttle. When the locomotive is up and running, nothing will stop it or slow it down as long as it has a steady supply of fuel being added on a regular schedule. The ECS will function in a similar way. Give it fuel (CBD) on a regular basis, and at the same intervals, and the ECS will continue on. The good news is that it works really well for most folks. The bad news is that it could take an average of 7 to 14 days to reach full activation. That also depends because we are all unique.

One last thing to bring you into the CBD K.Z. (Knowledge Zone. Ok, I made that up), you need to be diligent about taking the CBD correctly. That is right. It can be done wrong. If you are taking capsules, you should do it on an empty stomach and not eat for at least 45 minutes afterward. If you are using the tincture of oil, you need to keep it under your tongue for a MINIMUM of 1 to 2 minutes. If you can do 3 to 4, that would be great. No food or drinks 30 minutes before using it and 15 minutes after the tincture. Using Taffy should be slow and easy. Roll the candy around in your mouth and play with it. Do not take it out and stretch it with your fingers but let it remain in your mouth for as long as possible so you can get the same kind of sublingual benefits as you do from the oil. Now, be honest, where have you heard that it is ok to play with your food? The final method of CBD use is inhaling it or what is known as “vaping.” Vaping is creating a vapor from heating the CBD liquid (e-Juice) and turning it into a vapor which you inhale like an e-cigarette. CBD is also incorporated into a rub to apply topically.

Well, that is it… lesson over (and no quiz in the future). You have now been introduced to one of the most remarkable processes studied in the last 50 years. Most of you know the reports on CBD have been nothing short of miraculous, BUT, be realistic, patient, and aware of how you notice changes in pain, sleep patterns, and stress levels. Miraculous? Absolutely. A miracle? Not likely.

What is happening with the explosion of CBD reports, scientific papers, and medical studies is astounding, though, it can be confusing and misinformed. So, if you ever feel that you need to have additional information such as an answer to a question, a place to make a comment or suggestion, or a place to simply talk about CBD, then please, PLEASE contact us. We are here to help and make this easier. We would also love to hear about your experiences and how well you are doing. Please let us know.

#Here’s what should be understood regarding CBD

[redshirts-united]

Don't worry, it's what makes us human.

Hello earthling!

My name is Delvok. I am a member of an advanced species called the Kig-Yar.

No we aren’t like the aliens depicted in Halo.

That representation of us is completely inaccurate.

We are a humanoid species that with a little bit of retro fitting can pass as a human with little to no concern.

We landed on planet Earth soon after finding the New Horizons Space probe that you humans sent out a while back. We soon figured out were it came from (it wasn’t very hard after all…) and went for a visit.

Since the probe came from a company called NASA we figured we should start there.

We were considered heroes to your people, but that soon changed.

This is the lost story of what actually happened to us.

——

The president of the United States came “rushing over” the second we landed. I say rushing over because it’s took a few hours. You humans have such slow technology! It’s okay, but strange.

We showed them some of the technology that we have devolved over these past couple years. It was nothing impressive, just some small things. All of the earthlings dressed in white coats were so impressed! I gave them a toy of sorts as a gift.

When the president arrived he came and grabbed the leader hand and shook it up and down a few times. It must be one of the greetings of humans.

The president then spoke saying “on behalf of the United States and its allies we welcome you!”

He seemed to be opening his mouth but keeping his teeth clenched. I copied it. He then laughed. I guess it’s a sign of happiness?

Now you may be wondering how we understood everything that was happening. Well we have developed universal translators. At a young age, equivalent to a human being 3 years of age, they are implanted into our brains. We can not only understand the other language but also speak said language.

Anyways a human man in a green outfit who was standing behind us took out an archaic key card, walked over to a door, and swiped it in a key card reader.

A mass amount of people with flashing devices awaited out side. The leader said to stay calm and do the open mouth teeth thing.

——

We were Earth famous with in the hour. Every news story had our expeditions faces on it.

After the press got some “photos” (as I believe they are called) of us we were put into an automotive device that was long with many seats. It was long enough to fit the fifteen crew members (including myself), some people in white coats, and a few people with black metal contraptions.

I was sitting by the window with my arm laying against it and my head resting on said arm when a person in a white coat with a clipboard came and gingerly sat next to me.

They turned to me slowly, but not in a creepy way, and asked “hi there, could i ask you some questions?”

I looked back to the leader and they nodded. So I said “of course! What would you like to know?”

They did the open mouth teeth thing (which I now know is called smiling) and asked “what is your name?”

“Delvok.”

The white coated person wrote that down.

“How old are you?”

“43 human years old, but for us Kig-Yars that’s the equvliant of being 13 here on Earth.”

The white coat looked confused.

“How do you know it’s the equivalent?”

“Well white coated person, when we found your New Horizons Space Probe we scanned all of for anything that had to do with your most updated scientific theories, languishes, and basic culture specifically in the United States. Well did a general over view of other countries, but focused on the U.S. because we knew we were landing here.”

The person widened their eyes.

“One last question, I think, why did your team come here?”

“Well we were looking to find a planet suitable for life and thought we would stop in and say hi to the people of Earth!”

The person nodded and then started to get up. However they suddenly looked confused and sat back down.

“If you are colonizing another planet, then why did you only bring the females of your species?”

I chuckled a little bit. “Well, our world had started to destroy itself back a while ago and some scientists figured out that it was the men who were corrupting society. So slowly but surely females started to take power. Women scientists also figured out a way to reproduce with out a man. Also said offspring would not be male. So women eventually took over our society and natural selection preferred females ruling and reproducing. So men eventually died off on our planet.”

The white coated person furiously scribbled on their clipboard.

“Is this true?”

I shrugged. “It’s what we do.”

The person left and went to the back of the long automotive vehicle next to the men with black metal blobs.

——

I had fallen asleep and had been awoken by the jolt of the long automotive vehicle’s sudden stop.

I got up out of my seat and followed the line of the crew. Here were a lot of people in all black with heavy looking plastic things on their chest.

I felt really uncomfortable. One of my great-great grandmothers had once described a scene like this that had been passed down through the generations.

The men on our planet were finally catching on to the women’s plot. When the leader of our planet was going home for the day she was blocked in men in suits just like these. They then shot her.

Our leader is the last to get off.

I run to her screaming  in our language “I’m sorry I told them mom!”

She looked at and smiled “I told them the same thing.”

The only sound I heard next was 14 thuds.

Then I screamed.

Tears streamed down my face as I turned to the president.

“WHY WOULD YOU HARM INNOCENT COLONISTS WHO HAD NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU?”

“Don’t worry, it’s what makes us human.”

And then I saw black.

Thanks @writing-prompt-s for the inspiration

#aliens #short story #function #fun #story #storytelling

[snarktheater]

Wait... if gender's a social construct, then does that mean being trans is a choice? It sounds like you're saying that being trans is a performance. I can't see how one can be born trans without there being anything innate about the two genders.

“If gender is a social construct, being trans is a choice” makes about as much logical sense as saying “if money is a social construct, being poor is a choice”. Which, you know, money is a social construct. There is no inherent “value” to anything, regardless of when it was based on something tangible like gold or how it is today, based on…I don’t know, the trust of banks or something. I’m not an economist. Point is: monetary value is decided by us, so it’s a social construct, but just because it’s a social construct doesn’t mean it’s not real or doesn’t have real effects. It’s similar with gender: just because we define what it means as a society doesn’t mean it’s not real.

Also, being trans is not a performance. You’re confusing gender and gender presentation. The difference between the two is best exemplified in drag: people who are usually men (and usually even cis men) are presenting as women for the sake of a performance. Their gender remains male, only their gender presentation changes. I’m only saying this here because I’m probably going to use presentation later so I’d rather we be on the same page about what it is.

As for gender in particular, I have two three things to say. And just to be clear: I am a cis person, so I may make mistakes, although I think I have done enough research and listened to enough people to have a solid enough understanding to explain this, which is basically gender 101.

Also, have a cut because it’s a long post.

One: There are no “two genders”

The gender binary is also a social construct. There’s been plenty of explanations of that, and I don’t want to spend too long about this, because it’s not really the purpose of this blog (besides, biology is not my field of science). But the gist of the reasoning is this:

People who argue that there are only two genders tend to equate gender to sex.

Sex isn’t a binary itself, however. Sex is an ill-defined notion at best, too, but putting it on a binary is a bad idea whichever definition you go for, which tends to include:

Chromosomes. The good ol’ XX/XY is incomplete. Intersex people exist.

Gonads (sexual organs). Testicles and ovaries…but again, intersex people exist and some present organs that don’t fit neatly into one or the other, because both are grown from the same fetal tissue, so that tissue can go somewhere in-between.

Hormone levels, especially with testosterone, estrogen, and I think progesterone? Could be wrong about the latter. Regardless, this one doesn’t even work on anybody. There are cis perisex men with low testosterone/high estrogen, cis perisex women with the opposite, et cetera. Because hormones are complicated like that.

Ternary sexual characteristics (like pilosity, breasts, et cetera). That is actually the one we use to assume people’s sex and gender most often than not, since we can’t run a DNA sequencing, we can’t measure their hormone levels, and we can’t (usually) just ask to see their genitals. It’s also the most flawed of them. I mean, they’re controlled by hormones, so that’s a bad place to start for the reason I discussed above. Plus we can just work around them by altering gender presentation that I mentioned above. See also: binders, padding, make-up.

The sex binary was made by old scientists with incomplete data and a lot of confirmation bias. Any scientist worth their salt will tell you that if you have data that does not fit the current model, that model should be scrapped and replaced. I mean, without this (which is the very foundation of the scientific method), we wouldn’t have the theory of electromagnetism (which only all of the Internet relies on), or quantum mechanics, or relativistic physics. All of these replaced older models. Note that these old models, just like the sex binary, are still useful in specific situations! As long as you’re on Earth, Newtonian physics are fine and you can combine speeds additively instead of using the dreadful method of relativistic physics. As long as you’re talking about cis perisex people, the sex binary is useful to talk about a lot of their biological processes. But neither is useful outside of their hypotheses.

Back to gender. Gender is even more ill-defined than sex. I mean, without resorting to gender roles, it’s hard to even talk about what makes a man or a woman. So if it’s based on sex, and the sex binary, is outdated, why bother with a gender binary?

So…yeah. Gender today is understood to be on a multi-dimensional spectrum. As in, it’s not just “male, female, and stuff in between”. There are people who fall outside of the binary altogether, people with no gender, people wth multiple genders. Scientific observation tells us that, if this is their experience, our model that tells us there are only two genders is probably just plain wrong and we need a new one.

But back to that “it’s hard to define gender at all”. Put a pin on it. I’ll get back to it.

Two: The “born this way” narrative

That narrative. I understand how it came to be, and I understand its usefulness, but in the end, I loathe it.

See, the idea that you’re born this way (whether “this way” is referring to gender or sexuality) is mostly something to make the idea more palatable. And to make it less okay to, you know, oppress people based on it.

A lot of people relate to it. But ultimately, it is not a universal constant of the queer community, and if anything, it’s a little bit restrictive.

I mean, take sexuality. As a child, you may experience romantic attraction, but sexual attraction usually only occurs around or after puberty. So already it’s inaccurate to say that one is born gay/straight/bi/pan/poly/etc, because it’s something you only find out about yourself once you grow up and realize what those feelings are. And there may be external factors that delay that realization even further.

For instance, a lot of lesbians and queer women have reported that they only figured out their sexuality as adults, because before that, heteronormativity and misogyny made them assume that their lack of interest in boys was “normal”, that no girl really wanted sex or at the very least that they couldn’t like boys, because gender roles.

People who aren’t monosexual (whether because they’re attracted to multiple genders or somewhere on the asexual spectrum) similarly have a harder time realizing their sexuality because, usually, they’re not even taught that that exists. I was one of the lucky ones, knowing about bisexuality before I even had my own sexual awakening so I could place a name on it.

It’s the same thing with trans people. Some identify with their gender from as early as they’re able to, some take much longer, due to many reasons.

Plus, it speaks to a very weird societal mindset, to focus on being born a certain way as your “true” identity, as if people didn’t change and their identity was set in stone from the start. I think a much better narrative is that we’re born a genderless blob with no true identity of our own, and a combination of who we are and how our experiences influence us determines our identity, ergo our gender (as part of that identity). Then again, that’s just my philosophy of personal choice being at play here.

But really, the biggest issue I have with this idea is that it prevents people from questioning their gender and/or sexuality, when I think everyone, including cis and/or straight people, should do that. It is after all much more fulfilling to identify with anything because you’ve spent some time critically looking at the options and picking the one you like best rather than accepting what has been forced upon you.

Which leads us to…

Three: How do I know?

A.k.a. time to go back to that pin I told you to put on the idea that it’s hard to define gender.

While this isn’t a universally agreed-upon sentiment, I am of the school of thought that what defines one’s gender is what is referred to as gender euphoria. Now, I realize that “euphoria” might bring up the picture of some ecstatic feeling, but the term here is just used in opposition to dysphoria (the two being etymological opposites).

Gender dysphoria is one that people are usually more familiar with. It’s the idea that a person experiences discomfort with their assigned gender, and usually, with their body as per the expectations that gender places on your body. And “discomfort” is usually a euphemism, because it usually leads to disorders like depression or even to self-harm. It’s also what leads some trans people to need surgery or hormonal therapy, or just psychotherapy, as coping/healing mechanisms.

To some people, dysphoria is what defines transness, but as I said, I’m not of that school of thought, which goes back to my philosophy of choice. But also because it just seems odd to me to base a part of one’s identity around pain.

The theory around gender euphoria is that what defines one’s gender isn’t feeling bad about identifying with another gender, but feeling good about identifying with the “right” gender for you. Basically, if using the signifiers of one gender (such as, but not necessarily including all of, or limited to: pronouns, name, gender presentation and roles) feels better for you than whatever you’re using now, this is probably a better gender for you and you’re probably trans. 

This theory doesn’t remove the possibility for dysphoria for the wrong gender, but it explains it as a side-effect of not experience gender euphoria rather than the defining experience of transness. And, well, seeing as “you’re only trans if you have dysphoria” is usually used by people to exclude other people from trans communities, and I’ve already stated my views on exclusionism in general…you can probably guess why I take this stance.

Now you’ll note that I only helped explain how you can tell what a specific person’s gender is here, not how to define gender in the first place. This is where we get back to the basic idea that gender is a social construct. All we can effectively observe is the signifiers of gender, and how people interact with those (dysphoria, euphoria, or just nothing at all). So how do we define a gender? 

Well, that’s the social construct part—in other words, we can’t, not in a scientific way. Society (in other words, people) is what defines which pronouns or names are associated to what gender, or what we expect a person of a certain gender to be like.

Which is great! Because it means society is also open to more gender, or to redefine what those signifiers are. You’ve probably heard that the “pink is for girls, blue is for boys” idea is a fairly recent one and was in fact reversed less than a century ago, for instance. Or the fact that women couldn’t wear pants until fairly recently (in the scale of our society, anyway). That means we can introduce new signifiers for genders that are less represented (say, by making up new sets of pronouns), and we can also reject the signifiers that we feel are antiquated/oppressive (like…all of misogyny and toxic masculinity, basically). So we can have trans people while also not needing to cling to gender roles and sexism. It can be done!

I hope this admittedly long-winded explanation helps answer your question, anon.

#gender #transgender #sexism #feminism #gender theory #queer theory #identity #biology #scientific method #scientific model #st: other posts #Anonymous #ask

[bynkii]

Riding Random

AD(H)D Is Like nothing else

Okay, that’s a bit of a lazy subhead. Everything is like nothing else on some level. Everything we go through, as individuals, in groups is unique because we’re all different, and even the in repetition, there’s something new. (I have ten or more copies of certain songs by the same band, because each is in some way unique.)

AD(H)D is one of those…well, it’s one of the lesser brain issues I suppose. I mean, it doesn’t mean you can’t function, you don’t hear voices, it doesn’t really fuck up your life in the “living in a box by the river” kind of way. But that’s not the same as it not having a profound effect on your life and how you live it.

Firstly: I’m not a doctor. Of anything. Nothing here is based on research or interviews with doctors or scientists or counselors or experts. It’s based on my experience of over a half-century living with this issue. What I will say may in fact be scientifically dubious. I hope not blatantly inaccurate, I try to avoid that as a rule. Were my friend Mike writing this, there would be a stack of supporting evidence as big as your skull, with footnotes and endnotes and 8"x10" color glossies with notes on the back.

This is none of that. This is my attempt to kind of…well, not explain, but rather relate what it’s like being me. A guy with AD(H)D.

First, I’m not sure which version I have. I’m not sure it’s of any particular importance, at least not personally. Also, I’m not sure what it’s like to not have this. I’ve always been this way. So if I seem a tad one-sided, well, I’m also an only child. I can’t tell you what having siblings are like either.

I am sure, that for all the…well…shade (it’s as good a word as any) thrown at AD(H)D, that it’s not bullshit. I mean, I can see why it seems that way, especially given how many people use it as an excuse. “Oh, he has AD(H)D.”

Sigh.

You know, if y’all could stop doing that, I wouldn’t complain. It’s kind of annoying, using AD(H)D to get out of whatever it is you’re getting yourself or someone else out of. Because it’s not cool, it’s not fun. AD(H)D can be handy as hell, but not in that way.

I was born in 1967. I had no idea what AD(H)D even was until a TIME magazine article that happened to lay out every weird aspect of my mental world. In the mid 90s. So for almost 30 years, I thought I was, well, kind of a bubblehead.

AD(H)D is different for everyone. I suppose that’s true of any brain condition. For me…well, imagine being able to remember bizarre trivial details of shit that happened once, but literally forgetting that a gallon of milk exists. Not as a concept I mean, milk and jugs still exist, but that specific jug you just put down. You had it in your hand, you were pouring a glass of milk with it, you put it down and something distracted you, and now that shit has never existed. It’s gone. That jug has ceased to be. It is an ex-jug.

Even better, it sometimes does this while you are holding it and so your brain goes “well, I’m holding something, it must be an empty glass” and so you put the milk in the cabinet, and you will never know, nor remember doing this. It can get seriously weird sometimes. My son watched me crack six eggs, and very carefully throw the egg in the garbage and put the shell in the bowl because I was talking to him about something, and my brain decided I should go through the motions of making eggs, but hey, shell, egg, it’s the same shit, right?

I’m somewhat paranoid about getting Alzheimer’s, because honestly, I’m not sure anyone would be able to really tell until I was deep into it. Forgetting shit is so normal in my world.

Need someone to remember that 4 years ago, you said you like red hats? Done. Need someone to keep track of 53 things at once? Done. Need someone to sit in front of a log roll from an unhappy server without moving for hours until they put the errors together? Done.

Need someone to remember where the coffee mug they just put on the counter in front of them is? Yeah, that could be a problem.

This is frustrating as an adult. As a child, it’s worse. Back in the 70s, before there were “programs” and the like, no one was a “latchkey kid”. Your parents worked, and you came home and fended for yourself. Unless you forgot where you’d put your keys. Again. Then you hung out front of the apartment or house until your mom got home and gave you the look. That disappointed “maybe my son is actually mildly mentally disabled” look, because he’s now averaging losing a set of keys a week, and his keychains resemble gas station bathroom models.

You want to be trustworthy and reliable, but you forget random shit. Constantly. You have conversations you forget while you are talking. Not the subject, but the conversation as a thing.

It’s hard to talk to you because there’s no such thing as a non-sequiter in your world. That would imply there was some form of sequiter to begin with. There isn’t. One minute you’re talking about motorcycles and the next sentence it’s about genetics. You can talk all day, because you’re never talking about a single topic for any amount of time, you can’t.

Except when you can. Then it’s almost obsessive. To this day, I don’t read as much as I inhale. I’ll start reading and then it’s three hours later and I’ve finished the book and I have no idea why people are angry at me and oh…shit…there was a movie we were supposed to go to?

I’m sure there’s some vast range between SQUIRREL! and hyperfocus. But it’s pretty much a fucking mystery to me, I don’t think I’ve really ever seen it. I just fake it well.

Then there’s the overload. If I’m around too many things going on at once…wait, let me back up. So I have this thing where I track things. In a restaurant, for example, I can, within ten minutes tell you what’s on every screen I can see, which waiter/waitress is running what tables, the color of their shoes, that one is limping probably sprained her ankle, dude, what the fuck is up with your hair, the fourth table over needs to leave before that baby gets really cranky…

I have a friend, Low, who is a curious and awesome combination of strong and tiny. 5'-nothing and 160lbs of muscle. Her view on things is if she can climb it and sit on it, she does. It makes for the best pictures. In my case, if it moves, and I can see it, I’ll keep tabs on it. It’s kind of handy in IT.

But in the right situation, say, a casino…it’s not fun. Kansas City has a number of casinos, and my ex, Jenny, learned that I shouldn’t be on or near the gambling bits for too long, because after…an hour or so of being in a room with that many patterns of blinking lights and flashing and sounds and people and my brain trying to track all of it…well, I’d kind of kernel panic, and I’d have to sit somewhere for a few and stare at a wall, preferably a blank one while I rebooted.

If I’m aware of it, and now I am, I can manage it. But the first few times were a bit odd. “Bunghole, you’re just standing there.” “Yeah. I feel weird, can we find a quiet place to sit down?” After 20 minutes or so, I’d feel the normal draining back in, and then we’d go do whatever. But for a while, it was…not quite being unable to think as much as just not completely sure as to what is going on. You know the basics, but it doesn’t have the same meaning. Once, I was rear-ended on the Mass Pike. Had time to watch it happen. Blonde girl with a phone in one hand and a panicked look on her face standing on her brakes. Boom. For a few seconds, I remember staring, intently at my gearshift (car was a manual) and wonder just what the fuck it was, and how did any of this work. Then all of a sudden CLUTCH! That’s the CLUTCH! and the STICK and I KNOW ALL THE THINGS AGAIN AND HOLY FUCK WAS THAT SCARY.

But while it was happening, it wasn’t. It’s only as you start to recover that you realize shit is weird, yo, and then you get freaked out.

I have to say, I’m grateful as hell for things like email and task managers and calendaring. Because the act of having to enter my life into such things helps move whatever it is I’m entering out of the random overwritten bits of my memory into the bits that actually remember stuff. So things like Anylist help not for the obvious reasons, like remembering 45 things is hard, but for the bizarre reason that hey, I’m actually going to the grocery store and there are things I need to buy and they will be in Anylist.

Yes, I’ve forgotten to go to the store that was the only reason I’d left the house. What? Why? How? Beats me man. See, there was a dude walking down the street behind a woman who Was Not Having His Shit. Both were African-American, she was wearing a light purple, almost mauve top with darker purple pants and flat sandals, her hair had a dark red streak in the front, he was wearing a wifebeater, denim shorts, a black belt, his pants were slung low, he was wearing plaid boxers and hi-tops, and I have no idea why I remember this, or that he was around ten meters behind her, but forgot where I was supposed to go that day. Until I looked at my phone at the light and saw the Anylist notification and yep, going to Publix.

I don’t have some kind of on/off switch on this. I just try to create layers of competency that help me avoid the worst of it. I also have a lot of weird habits that are literally designed to get me through the day.

Again, I was almost 30 before I knew what was going on in terms of AD(H)D. That it was a thing, not just me being an idiot. Well, of course I thought I was some kind of idiot. What else would I think? There was no concept of anything else. Ritalin? What was that?

It wasn’t so much that AD(H)D made it okay. It just gave me something to work with. It made it a thing and not this amorphous, unknown, blob of suck. “Okay, so that’s what my brain does, and sometimes it’s handy, and most of the time it’s a goddamned pain in the ass, but at leat I can manage a thing. I can manage AD(H)D, I can’t manage being an idiot.”

It also has a lot to do with my coffee consumption. Because folks, I drink a shitload of coffee. To the point that it doesn’t make me piss any more than any other liquid would, nor does it wake me up. I mean, it can make me jittery, but that’s like bizarre amounts even for me. In truth, it calms me down, mellows me out, helps me sleep and what the fuck is is up with that?

Well, OH WAIT, before I get into that, it can also fuck with relationships. AD(H)D, not coffee. Like, you know those things they show you where you’re just with someone and you can like, do nothing but be with them? Yeah, see, AD(H)D fucks with that, because if I hug someone for too long, like my wife, or (in the past) girlfriends…I get twitchy. Like LETGOLETGOTHEREISSHITTHATISINFRONTOFMYEYESHOLYFUCKLOOKATTHEMICROWAVEANDTHEBUTTERFLYOUTSIDETHEWINDOW kind of twitchy.

It takes an enormous amount of effort to not always be the first one to end the hug. Kissing’s easier, because I’m doing something and also it tends to short-circuit huge swaths of my brain and I go all dur-hur-this-is-so-cooool. But quiet times are hard. Unless I’m in that fucked up hyperfocus, but then I’m not noticing the world around me, so it’s not technically the same thing.

It can make someone with AD(H)D seem…disinterested in people around them. Because we can’t not look at our phones or the TV screens or what have you. We can try to focus on one person, but if there’s enough going on, it becomes really hard.

That’s kind of frustrating, because there’s no good way to explain to someone you love that no, you are interesting to me. Really. I swear. But so are the ceiling fan’s pertubations or lack thereof. And the grain in the wood. And the way the bolts in the roof beams are set up, or the way the waitress is doing her job, or…shit…yeah, see, and then try to explain it to someone who cannot have any idea what you are talking about because they don’t have your brain chemistry, so you’re explaining a mezzosoprano to Helen Keller only you’ve got no hands. And you’re on the opposite side of the planet.

So anyway, coffee, or more specifically, caffeine.

the astute reader will start to feel this is written in a way to try to convey an understanding of what having AD(H)D feels like. it is a bit. This is why my “best” writing is emotional on some levels. The emotional aspect helps keep me focused. Just sitting down and writing, holy fuck, how does that work? So this is a bit more disjointed than usual. Don’t worry, I did do a couple of edit passes to make sure I didn’t leave out entire paragraphs I could swear I typed. Yeah, that happens.

The data on caffiene as a treatment in the scientific meaning for AD(H)D is at best slim. https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/caffeine-for-adhd/ has a decent overview. There is one interesting bit from the article though:

In a trial comparing amphetamines to 600mg caffeine daily, plus amphetamines, caffeine was reported to provide incremental benefit, but side effects were noted. That’s not surprising: 600mg is the caffeine in two Starbucks Grande-sized coffees. A double-blind crossover examination of caffeine, methylphenidate, and dextroamphetamine in 29 children concluded that while the two stimulants had meaningful effects, caffeine was indistinguishable from placebo. Overall — no strong signals of efficacy in the evidence.

First, while I’m sure that for Scott Gavura or a child, two Starbuck’s Grandes is a shitload of caffeine, for me, well, that’s…oh, I’m past that by 11am on a normal day. So clearly, I’m talking about a lot more caffeine here. Also, the article is aimed at giving coffee to kids.

I have found over the years that the amount of caffiene i consume does help. Could this be a placebo? Sure. But the one time I did talk to a doc about it, she said that for folks with AD(H)D, my level of coffee consumption was pretty normal. Or perhaps “common” would be the better word, and as long as it wasn’t making me jittery (it doesn’t) or causing me other problems, (nope), then there was no reason to worry. Well, watch the sugar and addons, (no worry there, I only drink it black) as lattes are not low-calorie refreshments.

So rather than Ritalin or Adderall, I do coffee. It seems to work, and there’s no adverse effects, no more than any other form of stimulant might have.

You know how when you look at your watch and you can’t remember what time it says? So you do it again, and you still can’t remember? Imagine that, only all the time with everything, unless you have elaborate things you do to work around it.

I’m surprised AD(H)D and OCD don’t go hand in hand. I’d not be surprised if AD(H)D and depression go hand and hand, especially in my generation, that shit sucks. (Edit: as it turns out, AD(H)D and depression do go together, as do AD(H)D and rejection hypersensitivity. So I was right I guess. Yey?)

It’s really weird when you know you have issues with procrastination, but not because you don’t want to do something. But because you start to do the thing and then you need to reference Wikipedia and it’s nine hours later but you know a lot about brain chemistry. And Serial Killers. Because Wikipedia is a maze of twisty passages…

The iPhone has had a definite affect on things. I’m still not sure good or bad, probably depends on the situation. Melissa (my wife) would be happy if I were better at not having it out. Having a career where I have to be a bit obsessive about email and similar doesn’t help. Also, it’s a device that can feed me multiple streams of ever-changing information. So it does kind of fit my brain well. A bit too well at times.

One thing though, and I really am only speaking for myself here: what I never want is people working around it. This isn’t like those fucking introvert lists (GOD no), or whatever where it’s a list of instructions on how to treat me or anyone with AD(H)D special. Fuck that. Because here’s the thing: if you let me win, what have I won?

When my son was…ten or so, we were playing “Pokemon Stadium” on our N64, and given I’d been playing videogames longer, better understanding of strategy & tactics, I won pretty easily. He was kind of upset at that, and intimated that I should let him win, since he was just a kid. I said: 

“Nope. Look, you’re right, it’s unfair for you right now. But, you can get better. You can raise your game, you can improve your skills, so one day, when, not if, but when you beat me, you’ll know you actually beat me. I didn’t let you win. I was doing my best to wax you, and you waxed my ass instead. It’ll be an honest, clean victory, and you won’t get enough of those in life as it is. I’m not going to cheat you out of even a minor one.”

Unsuprisingly, he did just that: he got better, and one fine day, he wasted me. Wasn’t even close, and folks, I was trying, but the skinny kid was not gonna have it that day. He starts jumping up and down and whooping, and then doing this weird, hilarious butt dance all the while chanting “I wonnnn, I wonnn”. Yeah, maybe it was kind of bad sportsmanship, but fuck that, he’d earned that dance.

At this stage, managing my AD(H)D is easier than it was, but there’s still a lot of surprisingly minor shit (for y’all) that I have to work harder at. And I’m not saying booby-trap the fucking road or anything. But this is my thing. My AD(H)D. It’s been a motherfucker all my life, so when I have some minor victory that you’d not even register, it means something. But if you “let me win” as it were by bending over to smooth all the bumps, what have I won? What have I gotten better at? Did I get better at managing my AD(H)D or did you do that for me? And if you’re going to own those victories, are you going to be around to own the losses? Because if you want one, best be ready for the other.

Also, I will let you do all the work for me. I’m lazy (sysadmins tend to be), and manipulative at times. If I think you’re willing to do all the work and I just have to collect the paycheck? Fuck yeah. More time for sleeping.

Don’t be a jerk, but don’t make things unrealistically easy. Just understand why I say “email me”, that it’s not me being a nerd, it’s just me working around my brain.

Also, Halestorm is awesome.

#What's in my brain #ADD #ADHD #Shit is weird #Halestorm is awesome #movedoverfrommedium