#school keeps my attention...

[koifsssh]

hello i am to bother you again

I was listening to the song ‘somethin’ stupid’ by Frank Sinatra and his wife and I thought of Rainy

thas it

ohhh my dearest neighbor, you've only added a song to my silly little playlist...

the song is definitely rainy! but it is also maverick... it's maverick AND rainy, its both of them... i wish i could explain, but i simply cannot put it into words...

all you need to know for right now is that they are very silly...

#chit chat #they are in my brain constantly #the amount of drawings of them is insane #this goes for mob au #but also just them normally #you don't understand!!! they!!! are so!!! #i can't write about them and not immediately turn into mush... #it doesn't help they are so so very cute together #the things i have planned for you all to see soon... it is simply insane... #ohhh rainy... ohhh maverick... ohhh the both of them... #did you know they're called ''micdrop''? #it is so very silly... #and you are not bothering! i am so sorry #i see your notifications! i did want to do that ''add your oc'' thing... but i just havent had the time much to do anything #school keeps my attention...

[goldenpinof]

FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4 #67

#dan and phil #daniel howell #amazingphil #phil lester #danandphilgames #dan and phil games #gamingmas 2023 #dnpgames #my edits #yeah Dan keep looking at him like that and maybe we stop paying attention eventually (not) #FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4 67 #14:50

[ropebuny]

I want a dad so bad I’m going to cry and throw a tantrum. I don’t want to be an adult, I want to stop thinking and be taken care of like a kid & feel safe and cared for again

#been really needing and craving the attention of a strong and caring man a lot more than usual lately #I think it’s because I’ve been so stressed because of school and exams this past week #idk I’m just feeling so. lonely and sad and #I really miss having a father figure in my life #and it’s been so hard lately I just keep distancing myself from everyone because I’m overloaded with work #and idk. I just want to lay down in someone’s arms and feel okay again

[veevoosh]

THEYRE SO SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#hazbin hotel #niffty #alastor #drawing to save my sanity from college #niffty deserves more attention #why does she not have enough MERCH like CMON #(< does not have any money to buy merch) #still i wanna support my girl leave me alone /joking #ANYWAY I LOVE HER SO MUCH #AND I JUST SAW VIVZIES TWEET ABOUT AN UPDATE COMING SOON WHILE I WAS DRAWING THIS #SO IM LIKE KINDA TRYNA KEEP IT TOGETHER LMAOOOOO #I STILL NEED TO REVIEW FOR SCHOOL !!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA #WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME VIVZIE /JOKING #I NEED TO STUDY !!!!!!! #OKAY BYE FOR REALSIES LMAOOOOOO

[stinkypeanutbutter]

it mentslly hurts me to talk about certain characters I just loovrve them sissosoo much and I care for them and I can’t stop doodling them and I can’t stop talking about them I could go on for hours and hours and hours but it hurts too because I’m like “ i looovoeee them !! “ then remember like their backstory or character motivations and I immediately die out of love and devastation .

#I’m talking about Aiden the most rn . #ALSO KOKICHI #I LOOOVEEE KOKICHI SO MUCH BUT I REMEMBER HE DIES AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD #WHY DO I LIKE THE OVERATED CHARACTERS #I know Aiden especially is sodsosoo overrated the others deserve a ton of attention too but he’s just #He’s something . #I LOOVEVEVE TAYLOR THO TOO #THEY SLL NEED S HUG !!! #Ashlyn deserves a nice yummy fruit tart #I like fruit tarts #Kokichi annoys me so much I love him and I can’t stop #WHY DO I KEEP LIKIN F THESE CHARCTERS #It’s always the ones with the silly smiles and silly personalities and silly issues #ALSO KOU KOU KOUUU #I LOVE KOU SODOOSOS MUCH !!!! #HES KY SILLY BILLY #they are all my pookie shmookie bears #I’m not THAT weird I promise #Cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye #school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon) #school bus graveyard webtoon #aiden clark #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #tbhk manga #kou minamoto #drv3 kokichi #kokichi ouma

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Episode Five] One Last Push!

I’ll let Dai speak for himself here. 🥹

[ Part 4/?? ] 🌹

@buglaur

#if you see typos: no u dont i did these at 3am #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 screenshots #ts4 challenge #ts4 bachelor challenge #;kmik #sim: daniel #daithi murray by buglaur #|| #listen listen (grabs ur face) its not my FAULT dan keeps getting whims abt him ok #but it is my fault for posing them like this so i #i’ll take that heat 😎 #poor daithí 🥺 #he’s just so confused ok?? he kinda figured what this was going to be like but #its like seeing your crush in school like someone else #its hard!! #you just want to be the only person they think about #even if you understand why his attention’s spread around! #thing is: dan’s not been taking this seriously #he’s been avoiding the reality of the Feelings part of this #and dai is about to be our lil catalyst of realism #so everyone thank daithí for the rest of our contestants’ sakes djahdhja #also thank olli for burning the phrase ‘these fireflies are paid actors’ into my head #bc they absolutely are dhshhd

[ctl-yuejie]

ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality

moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.

we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.

Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.

Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.

And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.

With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.

#moonlight chicken #i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out #might edit some stuff later #but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life #which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations #we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him #whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference #but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly) #in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights #but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks #he got reduced to his sexuality #and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before #and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing #and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school #and our dating lives scrutinized #even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are #and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family #so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on #but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet #so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming

[soupernatural]

✩ my destiel aus: a masterlist✩

brought to you by ao3 user dirtybackroad

squatter’s rights (T, 8.1k) : weirdo angel artist drifter cas meets solo-hunter dean in an abandoned house. dean flirts via references to movies that cas hasn’t seen, cas flirts via mind reading. confirmation (T, 1.8k) : dean and lisa are set to be married. big irish catholic wedding and all. only problem, dean isn’t confirmed. enter priest cas. under covers (E, 6.5k) : get your fake dating here! even more than fake dating, get your faked sex scene ( that’s a little more than fake ) here, too! inspired by and titled after an episode of ncis. it started with a photograph (T, 3.8k) : bare the musical au ? boarding school. jock dean, shy cas. including : overuse of stained glass imagery and a first kiss. you & i (T, 1.5k) : part two of the above bare the musical au. takes place during the song you and i (obviously. jesus, zo) angsty and closety and secret relationshippy. but kinda cuddly too. changing my major (T, 1.3k) : college au, morning after cuddles unanticipated consequences (E, 13.8k) : hunter dean, veterinarian cas. dean breaks into the clinic for some emergency medical care, finds a bit more than that, actually. light my candle (E, 7.8k) : roommates to accidental kink discussion to confession of mutual pining for the last 12 years to hookup. part two is in the works (just an excuse to write the waxplay that i didn’t put in the wax play fic.) they frot. candle in the mirror (T, 6.6k) : a young dean and cas gather in the woods of their small village and do some christmastide fortune telling. witchy boy cas anyone? wall lovin’ (E, 2.7K) : dean falls for his neighbor, wholly due to the thin wall separating their bedrooms and his neighbor’s tendency to have really really loud sexual experiences. a bit dub-con as dean’s being voyeuristic but. i promise that cas doesn’t mind.

canonverse fics | sapphicnatural fics | misc. spn fics

#read more to keep the links fixable does that even work anymore or is that old school tumblr #dont readmores just open on dash now. maybe this is useless. oh well #zo.dbr #gonna post the other long posts today too sorry ! <3 lov u all i'm doing organizing #read my fics talk to me about my fics i would lvoe it i'm tinkerbell i need attention to live (write)

[prick-love-for-arting]

... Mhm

#haikyuu!! #fan art #sketch #yahaba shigeru #traditional art #haikyuu art #vent art #idk if it actually is but its there in case people dont want to see that kind of stuff #anyway im going to rambling about projecting for a bit because im not feeling so hot rn #1 its low self esteem hours for... reasons I'd rather not disclose because i dont need others feeling bad about it anyway blah blah blah #constant feelings of being undesirable and like im not valuable for just myself throwing that onto Yahaba and his relationship to oikawa #2 i feel very guilty about the way I'm feeling atm because other people are very happy and i just feel like im making things about me being #sad if i say anything to those involved #3 i hate asking for attention and feeling like I'm going out of my way trying to get it when everyone else seems like it just fucking #happens to them instead of searching for it #man maybe getting bullied in middle school did have a lasting impact on me #drawing my boy crying keeps me from crying!! #screaming and crying and whatever else goes with it #anyway... #mutuals please dont ask me about this i just needed to throw it out into the void

[insideyourimagination]

you know what it is…it’s the fact that will has been open about having OCD, anxiety, depression, dyspraxia and having su*c*d*l thoughts that i admire so much. being diagnosed with a learning disability (dyscalculia) and having depression & anxiety and dealing with su*c*d*l thoughts myself, it just makes me feel so seen.

#text #she speaks #long post and gushing over will i am sorry but it is a genuine admiration #i have to balance out my sinful thoughts with an explanation as to what originally caught my attention about him #actually on ig I saw that vid of where he was at that school and a student asked him how tall he was and he said 6’3 #now that is what made me fall for him if im honest #i have seen we’re the millers - midsommar - maze runner #and while he is a great actor i am not one to normally follow or keep up with actors so I never really kept tabs on him #then that vid on ig popped up and i’ve been dickmatized sense #will poulter

[dullahandyke]

Anyway needless to say, college is showing me a whole slew of people who are using laptops in school for the first time and they're so bad at it. They're so bad at taking notes too. They're so bad at everything

#im a hater today but its helping. ill get a caramel shortcake and thatll help more #ANYWAY STOP TAKING DOWN THE TEXT ON THE POWERPOINTS VERBATIM!!!!!!!! #THEYRE UP ON CANVAS PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURER INSTEAD!!! #(im haterposting instead of listening but im keeping an ear out. theyre defining bildungsromans rn) #their typing speeds are so slow and for most i would assume its inexperience #in which case i ask why are you switching to a laptop instead of using a notebook!!!!! #plus they mistreat their laptops so badly. so full of bloatware. some of them are even mac users #(honestly idk that much abt macs specifically. maybe theyre gr8. but i hate and kill apple) #give your laptops to me ill treat them right.... ill feed them ill clean up after them.... #and you just know that tech disasters are gonna befall so many of them bcos tech skills are on a downslope #like i dont look it bcos i tote around the same 2 notebooks and take like 3 bullet points max of notes per lecture #but ive been using a laptop for school going on 7 years i know my shit!!! #and theyre heavy to carry around and generally only worth it if you plan on doing a LOT of typing #which for ordinary lectures im not!!!! im not taking down every word on the powerpoint like a dipshit!!! #if i bring my laptop im either planning on writing some essay shit or not paying attention during class #anyway thats my little rant. its alright im allowed

[xhanisai]

I do kind of feel a bit spoilt with how the fandom pre-pandemic would share my work easily (fics getting hundreds and even thousands of notes on tumblr and on AO3 immediately and arts getting thousands of notes too). Back then, my work was so eUGH compared to the work I create now which is so much more polished and well thought out.

And now? It’s such a struggle for my art to reach even a hundred notes on this app alone and my fics take a long time to accumulate some attention on ao3. At first I thought it was because my creations have gotten WORSE lol but then I realised it’s been happening to all my friends too online.

Kinda sad tbh.

#delete later #i know that X amount of likes or notes on work doesn't necessarily mean that it's great quality #but i like seeing and knowing that people out there on the internet are enjoying what i put out #and i want more people to see what i can do if that makes sense? #my mentality is a little fucked right now because in the past i created mainly for me and i enjoyed what i did to an extent #but now i'm at that stupid stage where i hate everything i draw and get bored of my own writing and i don't like that #so validation online sort of helps with that mentality to go away #i can't keep up with internet art trends to get the attention on my work that i want that is not a realistic and healthy way of life #and i refuse to touch any salt or negativity in the ml fandom just to get the hivemind to find my work #my most popular work on ao3 is only popular because of lila karma and that makes me so mad because i write 100000x better than that LMAO #but people just wanna see a 14 yr old italian nightmare girl get expelled from school over and over again and i'm just tired af of it #as for art with twitter it's a bit of a russian roulette #you don't know what will be a banger and what won't unless you pay special attention or have a decent following or are always grinding #i don't think my art is for tumblr #i do appreciate the few people who always love and reblog it but i've always known from the start that my art isn't what would be popular #on this hellsite #oh well it is what it is #also don't worry i'm never gonna stop drawing nor am i ever gonna stop writing those two are literally my only outlets of my life #and the only way i can get emotions and feelings out of my body without exploding #and i am still madly in love with ML and will always be obsessed with it #i just miss how the prepandemic fandom would interact with my work and let me know what they thought and all the asks they sent about the #aus i created #it was a good period on this hellsite for me

[mr-independent]

you know, its not brought up in fics often but ted is extremely well read. he doesnt brag about it, but hes read everything from f scott fitzgerald's b sides to ayn rand's doorstoppers to the sixteen book Ender series, etc etc etc. Ted reads about as much as we see Beard reading (which. in my head is a trait that was passed on, a new focus to sharpen the mind and keep him out of trouble and his mind off drugs, something Ted offered up as a coping mechanism for when his own dad died, a way to have fun and adventure and escape without ending up in jail like Ted himself had a handful of times before, scaring the bejeezus out of his ma.)

this turned into a mini fic and i lost my train of thought but point is, Ted reads So Much and more people need to pick up on this in fics please and thank you.

#ted lasso #hes got an artistic soul! #but also anyone whos fav book is the fountainhead must be both well read and stubborn as a bull #its a slog and thats coming from someone whos read both infinite jest and les mis #im getting through it slowly but surely. mostly to stretch my story endurance before jumping into atlas shrugged #also. yes i know we have no evidence that he read all 16 ender books #but having had read them myself i know in my heart of hearts that ted absolutely finished every one of them with gusto #probably on the bus to and from games with his team back in the US #no wait hold on. he was a backup punter right? that means LOTS of time sitting on the sidelines waiting for a whole bunch of nothing #lots of time was spent watching the plays and the team and formulating im sure (which is also probably why he trusts nate so much in the #beginning. bc that used to be him sitting on the sidelines taking it all in) but also theres long stretches of no play in american football #during which he probably read like a demon to keep his grades up and keep his scholarship #so that this ma never had to worry about him away at school. He wasnt going to get into trouble anymore not like he did in high school #he had to be the man of the house and gosh darn it was he going to do it with gusto #which meant good grades and learning about life and people and spending all that free time the right way #therefore: books. an easy habit that keeps him out of trouble and keeps his mama proud. plus itd be easy to hide from coaches under his pad #if they ever had a problem with it (which im sure they would at first but once he proved he was paying attention and wormed his way in #with the team even as a reserve well. they were less eagle-eyed after that concerning the paperback-shaped lumps under his jersey) #anyway have another mini fic i guess lol #im feeling a tad verbose today

[britneyshakespeare]

Oh my God. People are reblogging a poem I wrote and posted when I was 15 years old lol.

#i have no idea how they found it #i saw someone liked it a few days ago and i was like. well weird but whatever #im not offended it's just a few extra notes #i keep my poetry blog at this point bc it's a helpful archive for me to look back on a body of my work #heaven knows i don't really need the attention #and if i did... well id just be shit outta luck wouldn't i #tales from diana #it's a free verse i wrote and posted in january 2015. i was a sophomore in high school! #im just happy it was one of my 'i have undiagnosed mental illness' poems and not 'im hopelessly in love w that senior boy' ones #those were my 2 themes back then. at least that i knew how to write sincerely #it's not that that was ALL i had for range. but it was all i really cared about lol. #how detached i feel now from that shy baby poetess. strange! #i read those poems and i remember writing them very well but they don't feel like me. #now im at the age where im more mature and my sense of self is more stabilized #and ive written literally thousands of poems so very often the act of writing one does not feel significant to me. #i look through my notebooks from my 20s and im like 'i don't remember writing this but thats definitely me' #strange. never be an artist

[the-punforgiven]

My deep unceasing hunger for knowledge vs my inability to look at a dense paragraph of text without my eyes glazing over, fight

#Damn this adhd shit's got hands #I'm half tempted to run it all through a text to speech program to give my eyes a break #Would probably have to run it through a vocoder too to keep myself able to fucking pay attention lmao #ugh #I have no fucking idea how I made it through school tbh #Pun's text Posts

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Kid Kazuichi! I like to think she's never totally looked "normal," that the teeth were always sharp and her hair was usually a curly mess in between those times where her dad or grandma got some clippers and gave her a homemade buzzcut, but her hair grows back fast. When she was really little, with her long hair and her running around pretending to be a magical princess when she was away from home, a lot of people thought she was a girl...heh.

Judging from her conversations with Hajime, I got the sense that apart from comic books she was mostly into nonfiction like guides on building things or cars or history.

I have a lot of feels about Kazuichi's relationship with reading. When she was a kid, the library was a safe haven: mentally and physically, she could get away from her dad, teachers, mean kids, and just escape -and she is an escapist with a big imagination. But as she got older, it was hard to keep up with the other nerds in her class, who had an easier time focusing and understanding, and reading felt more brutal and insulting. There was a false dichotomy of being an advanced reader or being "stupid." At her breaking point, she couldn't keep up her grades any more and was burning out, and if it wasn't for Hope's Peak giving her a new chance she may have considered dropping out altogether.

Every time she tried to return to books, it would remind her of the stress of school. It also felt like she was leagues behind everyone else, that she was "stupid", and the shame would drive her away. But there is no rule that you have to only read books at a "high level" - when you're not in school, this doesn't matter at all. It's okay to admit that you have a disability and it makes it harder to read some books.

I hate that there's some discourse right now that makes people think it's wrong or somehow damaging to yourself only/mostly like media for children and teenagers, so I need to internalize more positive messages for myself. Anyway, media is supposed to be enjoyable, something you want to do, not something to keep up with social trends or to impress a former gifted kid with a superiority complex who misses the days when they could compete with you and feel like a big shot. You do not have to compete with them.

#kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #my art #sdr2 #danganronpa 2 #a little bit of projection but also interpretation. I always maintained my grades when I was in school but I had a lot of burnout too #and I definitely had an inferiority complex because I wasn't reading -like- hunger games or twilight #some popular themes are too dark or boring for me. comedy and cartoons keep my attention and let me be able to take in a lot of deeper #stories. but I've made myself sit through grueling books before and it was torture. I learned best through more lighthearted stuff. it's ok #god I'm tearing up I am literally disabled but I treated myself like I was stupid for not reading 200 page books that kids at school bragge #about reading all the time. I wish someone had told me it was okay to be disabled.