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#roman murray
idontlikemusicals · 6 months
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those who harness the lords power, willingly or not.
CRINGEEEEEEEEEE
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woe. jon character lineup be upon ye
individual sillies under the cut
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cool-loser · 4 months
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While making all of Jon's characters related is funny what's funnier to me is that they all just so happened to have the same face
So one day at Beanies they all just so happen to be there at the same time and they don't notice at first until Emma looks around and is holding Paul's coffee but can't distinguish which one is paul anymore
They all look around and have this weird standstill
Of course, Richie is like, "Oh my God, I'm a clone"
Then Paul 23 walks in and hears that and immediately turns and walks out
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shvmblr · 2 months
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dawg look at my lawyer 🙏😭
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wardback · 4 months
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I made a thing
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The jon matteson alignment chart
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moosha-mushroom · 4 months
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Saw someone talking about Jon being typecast as blue… so I compiled a collection of his characters, and whaddya know? Perfect rainbow 🌈
Blue is his best color tho 💙🩵
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wigglys-dikrats · 3 months
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i want to put all of jon’s characters in a glass terrarium and occasionally add apple slices dusted with calcium to watch all the little jons scamper to the nourishment
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ruthflemwad · 8 months
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even more hatchetfield textposts because you all seem to thoroughly enjoy them
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lilacthebooklover · 5 months
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jon matteson characters family reunion. richie is ignoring everyone and blasting japanese nightcore on his airpods. roman is here and acting disgusted at the food while linda boasts about her kids (said kids are currently causing mayhem that will probably end in tears). paul has brought emma with him and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. boy jerry is trying to give him a pep talk on how to propose so he can "do the do" with emma (bj recommends a walk in the woods). the hatchetman bursts in at one point. daniel lost track of time and decided it wasn't worth showing up. gary is happy to be a part of something like he was with the wiggly cult but nobody likes him. wiggly watches for a while then shows up in human form to cause more mayhem, nobody knows who he is, why he looks like them or why he speaks like a toddler but he's freaky and may or may not be on the verge of murder. fun times.
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marvelmaniac715 · 2 months
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Linda Monroe doesn’t want to become her father but both father and daughter end up running a cult devoted to a dark god, flanked by adoring cultists, disguising it as something it isn’t so it’s more palatable - a ‘Honey Festival’/‘Honey Queen Pageant’ and a ‘fun new religion’ respectively, and they both lose their romantic partners in the name of their god (presumably) - no mention of Linda’s mother (one of the first Honey Queens perhaps) and Linda dies apart from Gerald, unable to see her boys for one last time.
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blondephenobarbitol · 4 months
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I understand that Linda Monroe is a bad person. I understand that the way she treats people is unacceptable.
But I also understand that she just wanted Roman to be proud of her. For once in her life, she wanted her father to see her as something other than a barn animal; a pig. Because that's all she was to him. A little piggy. She wanted his approval. She wanted to impress him. And at every chance, he took that, and turned it into an opportunity to degrade her. Make fun of her for trying. Disregard what she has to say.
At the end of Honey Queen, Linda sees that Roman is proud of her for the first time in her life, and she starts crying. She can't help it. It's all she's worked for. She is finally more than a pig to him--she's a queen. The sweetest woman in town. The way all fathers should view their daughters. For a single, happy moment, she gets what she's always dreamed of.
Only for him to betray her. To reveal that she will meet a terrible fate, a vessel for a dark lord. He is not happy for her, he's happy to give her up for something he's decided is better. More worthy. Linda is murdered by the man who should have protected her from the beginning.
And that's the tragedy of Honey Queen. Let the starving woman be picked apart, used for all she is worth, and finally discarded while her father watches and smiles.
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nibbleline · 6 months
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it's actually so hilarious that Roman Murray is a misogynistic asshole like sir do you know what your god looks like
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owchie-wowchie · 1 month
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Inspired by another post of mine
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incorrecthatchetfield · 6 months
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Linda: Gerald, am I ugly?
Gerald: Nonsense. I'm looking at you right now. You're the most beautiful woman in the world.
Linda: Father, am I ugly?
Roman Murray: Very much.
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jonmattdaily · 2 months
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terrifying man
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aliceisaperson · 4 months
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I had Honey Queen on the Tv, and my mom heard the line Roman says about “hunting nighthawks” and she immediately thought he meant hunting kids from Hatchetfield High. And Sure that sound ridiculous but like, I honestly would not put that past him at all. That is 100% something he would do.
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