#road america 2021

[jadesaidshedneverchangeherurl]

that whole dutch bike helmet thing really is just another excuse for americans to point at people in another country doing something differently and call them stupid, huh

#i simply do not care that they don't wear helmets #yeah they'd probably have slightly less head injuries if more wore helmets but like #did you know that the netherlands only had 582 road deaths in 2021 #america when you get your road deaths down to that level then you can start to judge #also there's evidence that helmets make cyclists less safe #in the same way that seatbelts didn't reduce deaths #in that people are far more comfortable driving dangerously around cyclists wearing helmets because they are less scared of hurting them #it is really not that cut and dry and also stop acting so fucking superior

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tesla's Dieselgate

Elon Musk lies a lot. He lies about being a “utopian socialist.” He lies about being a “free speech absolutist.” He lies about which companies he founded:

https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-cofounder-martin-eberhard-interview-history-elon-musk-ev-market-2023-2 He lies about being the “chief engineer” of those companies:

https://www.quora.com/Was-Elon-Musk-the-actual-engineer-behind-SpaceX-and-Tesla

He lies about really stupid stuff, like claiming that comsats that share the same spectrum will deliver steady broadband speeds as they add more users who each get a narrower slice of that spectrum:

https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband

The fundamental laws of physics don’t care about this bullshit, but people do. The comsat lie convinced a bunch of people that pulling fiber to all our homes is literally impossible — as though the electrical and phone lines that come to our homes now were installed by an ancient, lost civilization. Pulling new cabling isn’t a mysterious art, like embalming pharaohs. We do it all the time. One of the poorest places in America installed universal fiber with a mule named “Ole Bub”:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us

Previous tech barons had “reality distortion fields,” but Musk just blithely contradicts himself and pretends he isn’t doing so, like a budget Steve Jobs. There’s an entire site devoted to cataloging Musk’s public lies:

https://elonmusk.today/

But while Musk lacks the charm of earlier Silicon Valley grifters, he’s much better than they ever were at running a long con. For years, he’s been promising “full self driving…next year.”

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

He’s hasn’t delivered, but he keeps claiming he has, making Teslas some of the deadliest cars on the road:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

Tesla is a giant shell-game masquerading as a car company. The important thing about Tesla isn’t its cars, it’s Tesla’s business arrangement, the Tesla-Financial Complex:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat

Once you start unpacking Tesla’s balance sheets, you start to realize how much the company depends on government subsidies and tax-breaks, combined with selling carbon credits that make huge, planet-destroying SUVs possible, under the pretense that this is somehow good for the environment:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy

But even with all those financial shenanigans, Tesla’s got an absurdly high valuation, soaring at times to 1600x its profitability:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/15/hoover-calling/#intangibles

That valuation represents a bet on Tesla’s ability to extract ever-higher rents from its customers. Take Tesla’s batteries: you pay for the battery when you buy your car, but you don’t own that battery. You have to rent the right to use its full capacity, with Tesla reserving the right to reduce how far you go on a charge based on your willingness to pay:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/09/10/teslas-demon-haunted-cars-in-irmas-path-get-a-temporary-battery-life-boost/

That’s just one of the many rent-a-features that Tesla drivers have to shell out for. You don’t own your car at all: when you sell it as a used vehicle, Tesla strips out these features you paid for and makes the next driver pay again, reducing the value of your used car and transfering it to Tesla’s shareholders:

https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/6/21127243/tesla-model-s-autopilot-disabled-remotely-used-car-update

To maintain this rent-extraction racket, Tesla uses DRM that makes it a felony to alter your own car’s software without Tesla’s permission. This is the root of all autoenshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

This is technofeudalism. Whereas capitalists seek profits (income from selling things), feudalists seek rents (income from owning the things other people use). If Telsa were a capitalist enterprise, then entrepreneurs could enter the market and sell mods that let you unlock the functionality in your own car:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/11/1-in-3/#boost-50

But because Tesla is a feudal enterprise, capitalists must first secure permission from the fief, Elon Musk, who decides which companies are allowed to compete with him, and how.

Once a company owns the right to decide which software you can run, there’s no limit to the ways it can extract rent from you. Blocking you from changing your device’s software lets a company run overt scams on you. For example, they can block you from getting your car independently repaired with third-party parts.

But they can also screw you in sneaky ways. Once a device has DRM on it, Section 1201 of the DMCA makes it a felony to bypass that DRM, even for legitimate purposes. That means that your DRM-locked device can spy on you, and because no one is allowed to explore how that surveillance works, the manufacturer can be incredibly sloppy with all the personal info they gather:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/29/tesla-model-3-keeps-data-like-crash-videos-location-phone-contacts.html

All kinds of hidden anti-features can lurk in your DRM-locked car, protected from discovery, analysis and criticism by the illegality of bypassing the DRM. For example, Teslas have a hidden feature that lets them lock out their owners and summon a repo man to drive them away if you have a dispute about a late payment:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

DRM is a gun on the mantlepiece in Act I, and by Act III, it goes off, revealing some kind of ugly and often dangerous scam. Remember Dieselgate? Volkswagen created a line of demon-haunted cars: if they thought they were being scrutinized (by regulators measuring their emissions), they switched into a mode that traded performance for low emissions. But when they believed themselves to be unobserved, they reversed this, emitting deadly levels of NOX but delivering superior mileage.

The conversion of the VW diesel fleet into mobile gas-chambers wouldn’t have been possible without DRM. DRM adds a layer of serious criminal jeopardy to anyone attempting to reverse-engineer and study any device, from a phone to a car. DRM let Apple claim to be a champion of its users’ privacy even as it spied on them from asshole to appetite:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Now, Tesla is having its own Dieselgate scandal. A stunning investigation by Steve Stecklow and Norihiko Shirouzu for Reuters reveals how Tesla was able to create its own demon-haunted car, which systematically deceived drivers about its driving range, and the increasingly desperate measures the company turned to as customers discovered the ruse:

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/

The root of the deception is very simple: Tesla mis-sells its cars by falsely claiming ranges that those cars can’t attain. Every person who ever bought a Tesla was defrauded.

But this fraud would be easy to detect. If you bought a Tesla rated for 353 miles on a charge, but the dashboard range predictor told you that your fully charged car could only go 150 miles, you’d immediately figure something was up. So your Telsa tells another lie: the range predictor tells you that you can go 353 miles.

But again, if the car continued to tell you it has 203 miles of range when it was about to run out of charge, you’d figure something was up pretty quick — like, the first time your car ran out of battery while the dashboard cheerily informed you that you had 203 miles of range left.

So Teslas tell a third lie: when the battery charge reached about 50%, the fake range is replaced with the real one. That way, drivers aren’t getting mass-stranded by the roadside, and the scam can continue.

But there’s a new problem: drivers whose cars are rated for 353 miles but can’t go anything like that far on a full charge naturally assume that something is wrong with their cars, so they start calling Tesla service and asking to have the car checked over.

This creates a problem for Tesla: those service calls can cost the company $1,000, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with the car. It’s performing exactly as designed. So Tesla created its boldest fraud yet: a boiler-room full of anti-salespeople charged with convincing people that their cars weren’t broken.

This new unit — the “diversion team” — was headquartered in a Nevada satellite office, which was equipped with a metal xylophone that would be rung in triumph every time a Tesla owner was successfully conned into thinking that their car wasn’t defrauding them.

When a Tesla owner called this boiler room, the diverter would run remote diagnostics on their car, then pronounce it fine, and chide the driver for having energy-hungry driving habits (shades of Steve Jobs’s “You’re holding it wrong”):

https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/

The drivers who called the Diversion Team weren’t just lied to, they were also punished. The Tesla app was silently altered so that anyone who filed a complaint about their car’s range was no longer able to book a service appointment for any reason. If their car malfunctioned, they’d have to request a callback, which could take several days.

Meanwhile, the diverters on the diversion team were instructed not to inform drivers if the remote diagnostics they performed detected any other defects in the cars.

The diversion team had a 750 complaint/week quota: to juke this stat, diverters would close the case for any driver who failed to answer the phone when they were eventually called back. The center received 2,000+ calls every week. Diverters were ordered to keep calls to five minutes or less.

Eventually, diverters were ordered to cease performing any remote diagnostics on drivers’ cars: a source told Reuters that “Thousands of customers were told there is nothing wrong with their car” without any diagnostics being performed.

Predicting EV range is an inexact science as many factors can affect battery life, notably whether a journey is uphill or downhill. Every EV automaker has to come up with a figure that represents some kind of best guess under a mix of conditions. But while other manufacturers err on the side of caution, Tesla has the most inaccurate mileage estimates in the industry, double the industry average.

Other countries’ regulators have taken note. In Korea, Tesla was fined millions and Elon Musk was personally required to state that he had deceived Tesla buyers. The Korean regulator found that the true range of Teslas under normal winter conditions was less than half of the claimed range.

Now, many companies have been run by malignant narcissists who lied compulsively — think of Thomas Edison, archnemesis of Nikola Tesla himself. The difference here isn’t merely that Musk is a deeply unfit monster of a human being — but rather, that DRM allows him to defraud his customers behind a state-enforced opaque veil. The digital computers at the heart of a Tesla aren’t just demons haunting the car, changing its performance based on whether it believes it is being observed — they also allow Musk to invoke the power of the US government to felonize anyone who tries to peer into the black box where he commits his frauds.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

This Sunday (July 30) at 1530h, I’m appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning “Ghost Post” Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.

Image ID [A scene out of an 11th century tome on demon-summoning called 'Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros. Anno 1057. Noli me tangere.' It depicts a demon tormenting two unlucky would-be demon-summoners who have dug up a grave in a graveyard. One summoner is held aloft by his hair, screaming; the other screams from inside the grave he is digging up. The scene has been altered to remove the demon's prominent, urinating penis, to add in a Tesla supercharger, and a red Tesla Model S nosing into the scene.]

Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #steve stecklow #autoenshittification #norihiko shirouzu #reuters #you're holding it wrong #r2r #right to repair #range rage #range anxiety #grifters #demon-haunted world #drm #tpms #1201 #dmca 1201 #tesla #evs #electric vehicles #ftc act section 5 #unfair and deceptive practices #automotive #enshittification #elon musk

[batboyblog]

Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #11

March 22-29 2024

The Administration, with Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg in the lead responded to the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. Working with Governor Wes Moore and Mayor Brandon Scott (both Democrats) The Department of Transportation promises to clear the harbor and rebuild the bride. DoT has already released $60 million in emergency funds as a "down payment" and President Biden is expected to seek $1 billion from Congress.

Vice President Harris announced a number of actions and investments designed to improve the quality of life of the peoples of northern central America. driven by poverty, lack of economic opportunities, and out of control crime people in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras are taking great risks and trusting criminal human traffickers to try to reach the US. The Administration is working to improve conditions in the Northern Triangle so that is no longer necessary. Vice President Harris announced $1 billion dollars in new investments as part of the Central America Forward public-private partnership, since 2021 it has invested $5.2 billion in the region. Harris also announced $175 million dollars of direct aid from the US to Guatemala at a meeting with Guatemalan President Bernardo Arévalo.

The Department of Energy announced a $1.5 billion dollar loan to help restart the Palisades Nuclear Plant. This would mark the first time a nuclear power plant was brought back online after being decommissioned. The hope is keep the plant running till 2051, this 100% green power source is projected to prevent 111 million tons of CO2 emissions in its new life time, the same as taking 100,000 cars off the road. Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer touted it as key for her state reaching its goal of 100% clean energy by 2040.

Vice President Harris launched a social media push to inform the public about the Biden-Harris Administration's SAVE Plan. The Saving on a Valuable Education (SAVE) Plan was launched last year as part of President Biden's efforts to bring student loan forgiveness to millions of borrowers. Currently 7.7 million people are enrolled in SAVE, under which anyone making $16 a hour or less has a monthly payment of $0 on their student loans. 4.5 million SAVE enrollees are making $0 a month payments and another 1 million pay less than $100 a month on their loan repayment, over 150,000 people so far have had their loans totally forgiven. Republicans are suing to try to shut down the SAVE Plan

President Biden took keep steps to ensure quality healthcare this week. Biden extended the window for low-income Americans to apply for Obamacare. The original deadline of July 31st has been pushed back to November 30th. Biden also rolled back Trump era rules that allowed subsidies for "Junk Health insurance" These plans offer very little coverage and often mislead consumers into believing they have insurance when they aren't covered. These short term plans also don't have meet Obamacare standards and can refuse coverage for preexisting conditions.

The EPA announced new regulations aimed at "turbocharging" the number of electric trucks on the road. The new rules aim to have 25% of new long-haul trucks, the heaviest often diesel trucks on the road, and 40% of medium-size trucks (box trucks and landscaping vehicles) be nonpolluting by 2032, currently just 2% are. The regulation would apply to more than 100 types of vehicles including tractor-trailers, ambulances, R.V.s, garbage trucks and moving vans. The new tailpipe limits are expected to prevent about a billion tons of greenhouse gas emissions by 2055.

the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services  announced that thanks to President Biden's Inflation Reduction Act, 41 different drugs will coast those on Medicare Part B less money than it did last year.  An estimated 763,700 people on Medicare use at least one of these drugs every year. Some enrollees will save as much as $3,575 per dose.

The Department of Energy announced $6 billion for an effort to decarbonize energy-intensive industries. The investment in 33 projects across 20 states will eliminate 14 million metric tons of CO2 emissions each year when finished. Each project is meant to be highly replicable and serve as a blueprint for future private sector ventures. 

President Biden signed an Executive Order to Strengthen the Recognition of Women’s History. The Order will launch a review of all historic sites run by the National Parks Service to determine ways to better highlight the role of women, from all backgrounds, in American History.

The Senate Confirmed President Biden's nominees, Ernesto Gonzalez, and Leon Schydlower to federal judgeships in Texas. This brings the total number of federal judges appointed by President Biden to 190.

#Thanks Biden #Joe Biden #Democrats #politics #US politics #student loans #climate change #health care #immigration #bridge collapse

[probablyasocialecologist]

Scientists have uncovered the Amazon’s earliest and largest example of farm-based city-like settlements high in the foothills of the Ecuadorian Andes. The thousands of mounds, plazas, terraces, roads and agricultural fields — revealed for the first time in their fullest extent by airborne laser scans — necessitate a rethinking of just how complex ancient civilizations of the Amazon may have been, researchers report in the Jan. 12 Science. Over the last decade or so, the use of light detection and ranging, or lidar, in archaeology has led to significant discoveries in tropical climates, where ancient settlements often lay obscured beneath dense jungle (SN: 12/4/23). In 2018, researchers released scans of remnants of Mayan settlements in Guatemala, followed by Olmec ruins in Mexico in 2021 and Casarabe sites in the Bolivian Amazon in 2022, all which have been revealed to be metropolitan-like settlements filled with complex infrastructure (SN: 9/27/18; SN: 1/6/23; SN: 5/25/22). “It’s a gold rush scenario, especially for the Americas and the Amazon,” says Christopher Fisher, an archaeologist at Colorado State University in Fort Collins who has scanned sites throughout the Americas but was not involved in the new research. “Scientists are demonstrating conclusively that there were a lot more people in these areas, and that they significantly modified the landscape,” he says. “This is a paradigm shift in our thinking about how extensively people occupied these areas.”

[...]

Beneath the tree canopy was a massive network of roughly 6,000 mounds — once homes and community spaces — clustered into 15 settlements and connected by an intricate road system. The lidar data also revealed that the open spaces between settlements were in fact agricultural fields that had been drained to grow crops such as maize, beans, sweet potatoes and yucca. Within the settlements, the researchers found tiered gardens that would have kept some food closer at hand. Put together, the results show that the valley wasn’t simply a series of small villages linked by roads, but “an entirely human-engineered landscape” built by skilled urban planners, Rostain says. Dating from several sites suggests the area was inhabited for roughly 2,000 years beginning around 500 B.C. by at least five different cultural groups. A next step will be to calculate how many people might have lived there.

#amazon #ecuador #amazon rainforest #mesoamerica #cities #history

[givemearmstopraywith]

not to be insane but do you have any readings about religious bdsm or things w those vibes? ily <3

hi yes i do! i just finished writing a thesis about this actually

Jeffrey J. Kripal, Roads of Excess, Palaces of Wisdom: Eroticism and Reflexivity in the Study of Mysticism. (University of Chicago Press, Chicago: 2001) + Jeffrey Kripal, Kali’s Child: The Mystical and Erotic in the Life and Teachings of Ramakrishna, (University of Chicago Press, Chicago: 1996) + kali's child is not about christianity but it is a fantastic work on eroticism and religion from the hindu perspective (however kripal is white and was trained as a priest, so bear that in mind)

Carter Heyward. Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God. (Harper & Row, 2009)

Jeremy Carrette, "Intense Exchange: Sadomasochism, Theology and the Politics of Late Capitalism." Theology and Sexuality, vol. 11, no. 1 (April 2005), pp. 11-30 

Joseph Rogers, "Do Not Despise the Discipline of the Almighty: God as Leather Daddy and Reading Job through Althaus-Reid." Religions, vol. 8, no. 10.

Robert E. Shore-Goss, "Queer incarnational bedfellows" in Contemporary Theological Approaches to Sexuality (Routledge, New York: 2017) + all of robert shore-goss's work in general (he was the acting chaplain at avatar, the largest gay leather club in los angeles, for a number of years, and previously trained to be a priest- i adore him and his work)

Susannah Cornwall, "The future of sexuality debates in the Church: shared challenges and opportunities for theological ‘traditionalists’ and ‘revisionists’," Modern Believing vol. 62, no. 1 (January 2021) + cornwall has written extensively about intersex people in theology, i highly recommend her scholarship

Marcella Althaus-Reid, Indecent Theology: Theological Perversions in Sex, Gender and Politics. (Routledge, New York: 2000 + this might be my favourite book on this list and i recommend it to everyone, althaus-reid is an extraordinary thinker and her work in general is worth looking into

Margot Weiss, Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality. Duke University Press (London, 2011) is a book i recommend to anyone who is interested in or exploring bdsm, its a great starter book though not explicitly religious

Georges Bataille, Erotism: Death and Sensuality. Translated by Mary Dalwood. (City Lights Books, San Francisco: 1986) + bataille in general is a great philosopher, i also recommend Guilty trans. Bruce Boone

When Did We See You Naked? Jesus as a Victim of Sexual Abuse, ed. Jayme R. Reaves, David Tombs, and Rocío Figùeroa (SCM Press, London: 2021) + david tombs is a forerunner in reading the crucifixion as sexual abuse, approaching it from the methodological viewpoint of human rights abuses in latin america. this isn't about bdsm, but it is about sexuality in theology and it provides an incredibly necessary counterpoint to any discussion of power dynamics.

i'm missing a few titles but i'll look through my library and add them when i can.

edit: bolded my favourites, also heyward is the only book that to my knowledge is not available on zlib or annas-archive.

#replies

[reasonsforhope]

Non-paywall version here.

"When Arley Gill, head of Grenada’s National Reparations Committee, envisioned his work seeking repair for centuries of enslavement on the Caribbean island, one thing was certain: It was going to be a long slog.

But just two years since its founding, the task force is fielding calls from individuals around the world looking to make amends for ancestors who benefited from enslavement in Grenada. 

“If you had told us this would be happening, we wouldn’t have believed you,” Mr. Gill says, crediting a burgeoning movement of descendants of enslavers getting wise to their family’s history and taking action. 

In Grenada’s case, the momentum began with a public apology made by former BBC journalist Laura Trevelyan and her family in February at a ceremony on the island. They apologized for their forebears’ enslavement of people in Grenada and their enrichment from it, pledging an initial contribution of £100,000 ($130,000) toward education on the island.

“She opened the doors for people to feel comfortable” coming forward, says Mr. Gill.

In April [2023], Ms. Trevelyan and journalist Alex Renton co-founded an organization called Heirs of Slavery. Its eight British members have ancestors who benefited financially from slavery in various ways...

Heirs of Slavery says wealth and privilege trickle down through generations, and that there are possibly millions of Britons whose lives were touched by money generated from enslavement. 

The group aims to amplify the voices of those already calling for reparations, like Caribbean governments. And it supports organizations working to tackle the modern-day consequences of slavery, both in the United Kingdom and abroad, from racism to health care inequities. But it’s also setting an example for others, drafting a road map of reparative justice for enslavement – at the individual level...

“Shining a light is always a good idea,” says Mr. Renton, who published a book in 2021 about his family’s ties to slavery, donating the proceeds to a handful of nongovernmental organizations in the Caribbean and England. “You don’t have to feel guilt about it; you can’t change the past,” he says, paraphrasing Sir Geoff Palmer, a Scottish Jamaican scholar. “But we should feel ashamed that up to this point we’ve done nothing about the consequences” of slavery.

Start anywhere

Most Africans trafficked to the Americas and Caribbean during the trans-Atlantic slave trade ended up in the West Indies. The wealth generated there through unpaid, brutal, forced labor funded much of Europe’s Industrial Revolution and bolstered churches, banks, and educational institutions. When slavery was abolished in British territories in 1833, the government took out a loan to compensate enslavers for their lost “property.” The government only finished paying off that debt in 2015. 

The family of David Lascelles, the 8th Earl of Harewood, for example, received more than £26,000 from the British government after abolition in compensation for nearly 1,300 lives, while “the enslaved people were given nothing,” Mr. Lascelles says. He joined Heirs of Slavery upon its founding, eager to collaborate with peers doing work he’s been focused on for decades.

“People like us have, historically, kept quiet about what our ancestors did. We believe the time has come to face up to what happened, to acknowledge the ongoing repercussions of this human tragedy, and support the existing movements to discuss repair and reconciliation,” reads the group’s webpage.

For Ms. Trevelyan, that meant a very public apology – and resigning from journalism to dedicate herself to activism...

For Mr. Lascelles, a second cousin of King Charles, making repairs included in 2014 handing over digitized copies of slavery-related documents discovered in the basement of the Downton Abbey-esque Harewood House to the National Archives in Barbados, where much of his family’s wealth originated during enslavement. 

“What can we do that is actually useful and wanted – not to solve our own conscience?” he says he asks himself...

“Listen and learn”

...The group is planning a conference this fall that will bring together families that benefited from the trans-Atlantic slave trade along with representatives from Caribbean governments and Black Europeans advocating for reparations. In the meantime, members are meeting with local advocacy groups to better understand what they want – and how Heirs of Slavery might assist.

At a recent meeting, “there was one man who said he wanted to hear what we had to say, but said he saw us as a distraction. And I understand that,” says Mr. Renton. “Maximum humility is necessary on our part. We are here to listen and learn, not try to take the lead and be the boss.”

Mr. Renton’s family has made donations to youth development and educational organizations, but he doesn’t see it as compensation. “I see this as work of repair. If I sold everything I own, I couldn’t begin to compensate for the lives my ancestors destroyed,” he says."

-via The Christian Science Monitor, August 1, 2023

Note: I know the source name probably inspires skepticism for a lot of people (fairly), but they're actually considered a very reliable and credible publication in both accuracy and lack of bias.

#slavery #reparations #antiblackness #racism #colonialism #united kingdom #uk #granada #caribbean #social justice #ancestry #black history #black lives matter #reparative justice #enslavement #abolition #systemic racism #good news #hope

[kth1]

Welcome to Woodsboro [KTH]

⟶ Welcome to Woodsboro [Taehyung x Female Reader] ⟶ Genre: Thriller, Horror-themed, Some Fluff, Established Relationship, Smut, One Shot, 18+ ⟶ Warnings: mentions of the scream lore, mentions of killers (main characters are alive and well), references killings, references murders, references death, uses a fake knife, fingering, unprotected, slight choking, tiny roleplay, creampie, etc. ⟶ WC: 15.8k+ ⟶ Beta: wittle tiny hali @haliiimede​ ⟶ Summary: One generation's tragedy is the next one's joke as two horror enthusiasts set out to visit California's most infamous murder site, Woodsboro. Decorated like a festival throughout the town is none other than the haunting and creepy mask of Ghostface. As an area with a history of a gruesome and terrorizing past, there is nothing better for fanatics from all around to show up on the anniversary of the very first murder that set off decades of repetitive fear. ⟶ Author’s Note: Apart of Bangtan Cinema: Horror Night! I’m super stoked to dabble in an AU which I personally love so dearly! Scream is my favorite horror franchise and slasher story, so it was only time for me to step down into the spooky pits of this type of story! Fun feedback is greatly appreciated if you have the time! Side note: This story takes place right after the 2021 film! So for those who know Scream, you will understand a bit better! Also I know my banner is super misleading but it’s so sexy so I don’t care.

The two seater Chevrolet Spark, which you and Taehyung drive in, cruises down the highway at impeccable speed given its size and stature. Zipping through lanes and passing slower cars all while doing the acceptable speed limit to reach your destination of choice. Which is none other than the well-known town in California named Woodsboro; a once quiet area many moons ago, now laced with a looming darkness and a chilling past. A hot spot for all horror enthusiasts to visit with curiosity and eagerness due to the story of former resident, Sidney Prescott.

To this day, Woodsboro is one of California’s most marketed and commercial murder sites.

Taehyung, your boyfriend for some time now, and yourself set out on a road trip to visit several famous murder-magnet areas across state lines throughout North America. Having a strong knack and liking towards horror as a whole; both you and Taehyung run your own podcast and occasional YouTube streams about several types of horror-related thoughts and opinions. Digging deep into the topics on hand and investigating the stories behind the stories of each subject.

The two of you managed to find another through your similar interests. Both individually having your own livestreams and eventually merging together as one after several personal interactions later. Together, the two of you take on the world of horror whether it be nonfiction or not!

You’ve been on the road for nearly 4 hours as your vehicle inches closer to Woodsboro. Taehyung takes on the wheel with ease, opting to use cruise control when necessary while you two share fast food fries tucked into the center console. The GPS on the dashboard indicates the two of you should be arriving shortly and excitement inside sparks higher than ever.

Mindlessly, you watch on your phone a new interview on Kirby Reed, a survivor from one of Woodboro’s murder sprees back in 2011. You mentally take note of a few sentences she states, trying to compare things she is speaking about now versus from when she was first interviewed 9 years ago. How much she has grown and changed throughout the years of being a survivor and taking life on with a new perspective.

“You know,” Taehyung begins speaking, “I’m surprised they haven’t made another Stab movie after the last massacre.”

“Do you mean the one Kirby was a part of or do you mean the one that happened literally last year?”

“Honestly, both. Considering that every-so-often something happens in Woodsboro or in regard to Sidney. I’m curious why the franchise didn’t come up with another movie to continue. I’m feeling a little dry over here with my favorite classic.”

You laugh a little as you tap through your phone to Google about any updates in reference to any future Stab movies. Clicking your tongue, you ease further back into your seat as you read the letters on your device.

“Says here it doesn’t look like there are any production talks about another Stab. Probably because the last film, Stab 8, was utterly terrible and Hollywood realized that it’s a dead franchise without Sidney’s story or Gale Weathers’ books to keep it alive.”

Taehyung grabs a handful of fries to shove into his mouth as he monitors the road ahead of him. His eyes watch for the large signs above that’ll signal the upcoming exits and the distance he has to get to them. 

“Stab 5 was awful too,” he quips, “That shit even had time travel in it. But I still loved it!”

“I think you’re hooked on the idea of Ghostface more than anything now,” you laugh at him while admiring his side profile and honey blonde hair.

Taehyung cracks a small smile, knowing very well that you are correct. His love for the entire Sidney Prescott lore stuck with him ever since he first learned about it. Something about the story just appeals to him, even though it’s a corrupted story and not one you would read in a happy fairytale book.

“To be fair, you like it too.”

“I do,” you affirm with a smile. “And we have several podcasts and documentaries to thrive off of! I don’t think we need another Stab movie.”

“Unless…” Taehyung grins as his hands run across the steering wheel.

You blink at him, awaiting his next words.

“Unless they went back, like they normally do with the classics, and remake everything from the beginning! New cast, new views, new –”

“– The first 3, the original trilogy, are solely based off of Sidney Prescott and Gale Weathers’ books! How are you going to remake something based on real events and get away with it? Besides, Sidney threatened to sue the companies if they continued with her story. That’s why we have all these extra movies that half the time don’t make any sense.”

You laugh at the sudden pout formed on Taehyung’s lips that match the turned down brows on his forehead. He tilts his head as he huffs quickly, giving off a disputed noise.

“Haven’t you read into all of the murder massacres?”

His tone sounds defensive but you find it cute. You’re not trying to rile him up, although you are here for it if he speaks up. Taehyung normally becomes very passionate over his opinions and almost always has the need to express them.

“Are you saying I’ve never done my homework on Woodsboro? I’m quite offended,” you feign hurt. “Of course I know what went on. We did have a variety of podcasts entirely on Woodsboro.”

“Then you do realize that nearly all the murders were trying to out-do the original?”

A ping alerts on the dashboard before you, warning that your exit is coming up on the right. Taehyung merges into the closer lane when the coast is clear, taking the car out of cruise control in the meantime.

You question him with a puzzled look, “Are you seriously using that to ground your argument for another Stab movie?”

“It’s pretty solid if you ask me.”

The car slows down to a lesser speed as Taehyung directs it through an exit. The road bends slightly, pulling off of the California freeway and approaching the first set of traffic lights you’ve seen in hours. A green sign posted in the ground on the other side of the street welcomes you with the words “Woodsboro: City Limit”.

You begin to fidget with giddiness in your seat, you can see Taehyung do the same as the two of you actively scan the area around you with your eyes. Finally, the two of you have officially entered the area you’ve always talked about. Always researched on.

It’s all coming to life right before you; thrilled is a complete understatement!

Fumbling with your phone, you quickly tap on your device to access the camera app. You select the video, making sure it’s at its highest quality, as you start to record the scene before you. Speaking into the microphone, you express with a shriek of excitement that “Scary-tales”, your podcast and YouTube name, has officially set foot in Woodsboro.

Taehyung drives down the street after the light turns green, marveling at the scenery around. The two of you aren't surprised once your vehicle comes to a slow stop behind a line of cars. They seem to be waiting to enter the small town as well.

“Looks like there’s going to be a lot of festivities,” Taehyung voices as he points over to the left shoulder of the road. From a far distance he can see black fabric hanging from a sign accompanied with a white mask. “The town probably is all decorated for the season.”

Astonished, you try to lean over and look out from his side of the car.

“Oh! That’s so cool!” It takes you a moment to register something of importance, like a thought lingering in the back of your mind which now jumps out from hiding. “You did make sure to pack the good camera this time, right?”

The car moves up in line, the flow becoming a steady 10 miles per hour instead of the occasional stops.

Taehyung quickly glances at you to reassure your suspicion on him, “Of course! I brought the one with the little attachable microphone!”

You shrug in your seat, giving Taehyung a scrunched up facial expression as you regret the low faith you had in him a second ago.

“Ah! Sorry, sorry!” you laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted you to be able to capture everything you wanted. This place is more for you than for me.”

“Nah, baby, this place is for us both.”

He grins from ear to ear with sparkles in his eyes. He’s serious and endearing.

“You like Ghostface too!” he adds with mirth.

You pan your phone over towards him, recording his face as he speaks with enthusiasm. You smile with joy, letting out a laugh when Taehyung begs you not to record him.

“He’s no Michael Myers, but what can I say? I like my men with a mask.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow towards you, humor in the tone of his voice when he questions you next.

“So you’re saying I need to wear a mask?” He jokes with a giggle.

You shake your head at his nonsense, but he’s funny nonetheless. It manages to make you smile wider and that’s all he wants from you. To make you enjoy yourself all in all.

The deeper you enter Woodsboro, the more decorations the two of you notice. The entire town is covered with Ghostface decorations and painted blood spills. Street signs from as simple as “2 Hour Parking” to the tops of lamp posts all have a floating Ghostface mask with ripped up black fabric drifting in the wind of the chilly air. Giving the town even more character; making it feel even spookier.

You zoom in and out on all the decorations that you can catch in a passing car. Taehyung continues to travel by the GPS’s directions while you speak openly to your phone that’s recording the festivities and spooky decorations.

“Traffic remains busy as ever. It’s the exact day, September 28th, of the first original murder which set out decades of horrendous attacks and killings to the years that followed. Maureen Prescott, Sidney Prescott’s mother, was murdered in this very town 27 years ago. Here, I, Y/n, and my most trusted colleague and partner, Taehyung finally have entered California’s most infamous town. Woodsboro!”

Slowly the vehicling passes through the town square. It feels as if every street has a police car patrolling the area. A small park resides in the middle of the cross-pathed streets, vendors and food trucks line up from end to end. You can spot Ghostface merchandise everywhere you look before you turn to Taehyung with surprise.

“They really turned this place into a celebration. I wonder if there’s any movie viewings at an abandoned farm or the theaters,” Taehyung ponders out loud.

“We did not come all the way out here just to watch the movies,” you lightly hit his shoulder. “We want to experience the actual vibe of Woodsboro.”

Taehyung chuckles as his eyes light up. He sees a group of people following the lead of a female with a microphone and small speaker attached to her hip. She’s ushering the crowd through the park, pointing over at some local stores and holding out a map.

“We’ll be sure to take a lot of photos and videos,” Taehyung exclaims. “We’ll see as much as we can!”

Shortly after being directed through traffic, Taehyung drives past Woodsboro High School. Both of you ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ over the building. Large banners drape over the front of the building with Ghostface’s mask. Firefighters on ladders are trying to take them down, disapproval from the Mayor must be the reason.

“It must suck working for a town that mocks its law enforcement and first responders,” Taehyung murmurs under his breath. “The place turned into a whole attraction site for people like us.”

You pan your phone over to Taehyung with a wide grin on your face. Angling yourself to get to the High School in the background of Taehyung, you clear your throat to gain his attention.

In your deepest and creepiest way, you speak the classic quote.

“What’s your favorite scary movie, Taehyung?”

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes as he quickly looks into the camera. He squints as if he’s up to no good. The GPS speaks to you once again, telling you to take the next left turn and the destination will be a mile up on the right. Taehyung raises his eyebrow to flirt, giving you a suggestive glare.

“Bambi.”

The fork in your hand clinks against the plate below you as you stab into a clump of mashed potatoes. It’s salted and buttered exactly the way you like it. In your opinion it is a better choice compared to the diner fries. So, at least you say as you stare over at Taehyung’s plate of food with pieces of fries you pick off his plate whenever you feel like it.

His mouth opens wide to engulf a large portion of his triple stacked cheeseburger loaded with tomatoes, pickles, onions, ketchup, mayonnaise, and the diner’s special hot sauce. This man always surprises you with how he can practically inhale his food, making you question how he even digests it all before his next meal. Taehyung has just as strong of a love for food as he does for his murder stories.

You pick at your BLT sandwich piece by piece as you look around the diner. The layout is plain and simple, suits the busy crowd well with the variety of characters that linger throughout. Several people sit at a curved stool in front of the bar, snacking on their meals they ordered. Whereas you and Taehyung managed to snag a corner table right near the large display window that sits two of you comfortably. Even the menu and window decal supports Ghostface’s presence. Yellow seats cover the base of each booth tied with an off-white backing. The table before you is dressed in a clear-plastic, protecting the speckled aged wood.

“I still can’t believe you managed to find an available room at the hotel in this town. It wasn’t too expensive, was it?” You question Taehyung as you whip out a small notepad from your purse. “Like, it wasn’t a big price for here?”

Taehyung continues to munch on his burger while nodding his head, humming a “mmf” as he answers you back. Dressing drips off the side of his mouth and runs down his jaw as he searches for a napkin.

“It’s all good, I’ve handled it. I booked the room months ago so no need to stress about the cost. We’re covered, baby.” He reassures you. Taehyung swipes away the food on the corners of his lips. “Besides, we’re only here for two nights and you can’t put a price on this type of stuff.”

Your pen runs across the paper of your notebook as you jot down the beginnings of a list. Mapping out their path of where they want to visit and what they want to do during the small timeframe they have.

“Okay,” you hum. “I trust you.”

Taehyung reaches over to grab your hand, his thumb rubs softly over your knuckles. He knocks the pen out of your grip and laces his fingers with yours.

“Hey,” he speaks softly. “I know you have so many things going on in that brain of yours, but sit back and enjoy yourself right now. We have all the time.”

You sigh but give Taehyung a warm smile in response. Your hand squeezes him a little more as you nod your agreement.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to calm down. I just have all this excitement –”

“– And that’s okay. I appreciate and love how excited you get, baby!” Taehyung smiles and grabs a french fry off of his plate and feeds it to you directly. “I’m wired too.”

“Say, let’s hit up one of these merchandise stands after we finish up our lunch. I’m sure we can get a fun matching shirt or something.” Taehyung flashes his teeth before biting on his bottom lip.

“Tempting,” you bat your eyes at him quickly, “But let’s figure out all the places we can visit and hit up. I want to visit the Macher’s house – well technically it was last owned by the Freeman’s. But it was the place with the most attacks. The one on Turner Lane! I heard it was turned into a walk-through funhouse of some sort. Like a museum but not really.”

“That would be such a great place for an airbnb,” Taehyung adds. He continues finishing up the food on his plate while you start jotting down your list.

“Right?” You agree with him. “But the idea of being able to walk around it freely is also pretty cool.”

Your waitress steps over to your table suddenly, her black apron sitting comfortably tight across her waist. She checks in with the two of you, has a coffee pot in hand and offers some for your empty cups in which the two of you agree immediately. Traveling through the state of California to hit up all your favorite horror-related sites has proved to the two of you that coffee is your new best friend.

“Just let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to order,” the waitress with the name tag saying ‘Tatum’ waves as she walks away to check on the other tables she’s in charge of. 

You tap Taehyung on the arm frantically the moment she disappears from your area, “Tae, did you notice her name?”

Taehyung looks up at you through his sweet honey blonde curtain bangs with another mouth full of food. His eyes open wide like a confused puppy.

“No?” he tries to say without spitting out any food.

“Her name is Tatum! Like Tatum Riley! Sidney’s best friend during the first massacre!”

“Oh shit, no way! Maybe her parents are lowkey a fan?”

“I’m afraid to ask though, she probably gets questioned about it a lot.”

You take a long sip of your coffee as you jot down more ideas. The surrounding tables are beginning to fill up more with bodies, making the Woodsboro diner sound a bit louder. Even a group of rowdy teenagers come in with full apparel of Ghostface costumes but each mask is a different color.

Taehyung stops mid-bite when his face turns into realization about something. His whole body stills as he processes his thoughts.

You look up at him when he makes a disgruntled noise with his throat. His brows slowly knit together.

“What’s the matter, babe?”

“Something just hit me,” he says with skepticism. “What if we end up getting killed?”

You laugh out loud, motioning with your hand for Taehyung to relax.

“Tae, we’re fine. Everything here is focused on Sidney. There is absolutely no reason or any motive for a Ghostface to attack us,” you reason with him. “And before you ask, last year’s massacre was in-relation to the people who were tied to the original massacres. All the people involved with the lore of the first mastermind of it all.”

“Billy Loomis,” Taehyung utters under his breath. Even the name sends a shiver down your spine now that you’re in this town. “But also, horror enthusiasts… one who watches too many movies and shows, like us…”

“Like Amber Freeman and Richie Kirsch?”

Taehyung nods, “There could be more people like the murderers from last year who just want to continue the story.”

You squint your eyes at Taehyung from across the table. Your face twists with humor and confusion, unsure on how to respond to his words.

“Saying something like that makes it sound like you’d be the one to do that type of thing,” you state nonchalantly.

“Not at all!” He reclines back into his side of the booth. Taehyung brushes his hair out of his face with a hand, the other searching for his phone in the pocket of his jacket. “I’m saying other people could be motivated in such a way. Do you really think I'd be capable of something like that?”

“Most people don’t know who could be a killer until they’re caught…” You tap your pen on the table with a smile on your face. “So I wouldn’t know if that’s something you’re into,” you joke.

Taehyung browses through some of his notifications on his cell phone when he gives you a contemptuous face. He’s unsatisfied with your accusation, but you do have a point.

“Baby, I can say the same thing for you.” He raises his eyebrows with surprise, smiling to himself as his thumb taps away to send a message to someone. “I mean, you indulge yourself in plenty of scary movies too. Which franchise are you trying to keep alive?” He jests with a wink as he places his phone down and turns the screen for you to view. 

You see a banner posted to a Twitter post that is colorful and pops out to draw the creative eye. In large bold words it says “Annual Stab-a-thon!” with pictures of knives and pumpkins. Attached is a timeframe and location, one nearby, which makes Taehyung wiggle his brows at you.

“You’re funny,” you dryly say as you push the phone away from your side of the table. The sarcasm laced in your tone only makes Taehyung content with his actions. “You know I would never do something like that,” you say in reference to the hint of you being a killer. “Honestly, I don’t think I'd survive very long in a horror movie. I am the type to be at the wrong place at the wrong time,” you humor him with your confession.

Taehyung grabs your notepad from you swiftly to write down an idea. He tilts his head to the side, shaking it at you in disbelief.

“Ah, you need to give yourself more credit than that,” he scribbles down his chicken scratch while speaking to you. “I think you would make it to the final act!”

“Well with you as the killer, I think you’d give me some mercy to make it that far,” you tease as you bite back a smile.

Taehyung scrunches his face with anger and surprise. His mouth gapes open with a disappointed huff.

“I’m not a killer!” he protests with his whole chest. He uses his forefinger to press into the table with every syllable he speaks. “I’m an innocent person!”

The two of you break out in a fit of laughter. Taehyung looks at you with sadness while holding back his full smile as you roll your eyes at his ridiculousness. It’s conversations like these that end up with cute displays which makes you love the man even more.

“Tae,” you drawl as you recollect the conversation. “You’re cute when you get offended.”

“Thanks,” he responds laconically and with a pout.

Your waitress, Tatum, comes back over once again with a written out check for your table. She offers her service one last time to see if either of you need any more refreshments or food before handing the piece of paper over. Your boyfriend snatches the check from your view and fishes out his wallet from his back pocket.

“I got it covered,” he states as he counts through his money.

“Okay, but the next thing we have to pay for is on me!” you declare.

There’s always this weird complex with you that you feel the need to have equal contribution to spending expenses. If someone keeps pampering you too much, someone like a boyfriend you know so well, you tend to find ways to make it equal in return. 

Somehow.

“We’ll see,” he grins.

Before Taehyung can manage the tip for the waitress, you emphasize the importance of the notepad still sitting out on the tabletop. You read the last thing Taehyung wrote, which is the address “34 Elm Street.” Nodding your head, you raise your shoulders to show your indifference to it.

“The Prescott’s old house,” you acknowledge. “I’m down.”

Taehyung holds onto his cup of coffee while leaning in to look at the notepad. You reach for the pen once again to begin writing more.

“How about we finish our list before we leave here and check out some souvenir places. By then we’ll be able to check into our hotel room and start visiting some spots. I’ll have to fill up the tank as well.”

“Sounds like a plan!” You voice with keenness. 

Your pen traces letters into your notepad as you add stars next to your favorite and must visit sites. Tonight the two of you will be able to hit some of the areas up with no problems in your way. Enjoy some festivities and grab some merchandise. Have fun together and experience some irreplaceable memories.

And survive Woodsboro.

Taehyung and you both walk into room 312 with your bags in hand. Right before arriving at the hotel, you had stopped at a local grocery place to grab a few necessities and snacks to hold you over for the night. Thankfully the WoodSpring Suites comes with a complimentary breakfast in the morning along with a small snack area where you can purchase beverages and food that can appeal to a small appetite. But with Taehyung, you already know that the store was the better choice for the matter.

The entire left wall from beginning to end is colored in Aegean blue while the rest of the walls are a soft eggshell white color. The king size bed is covered in grayish-tan and rice paper colors, complemented with hickory wood furniture. The laminate flooring matches the wood as much as possible, giving the room a friendly and clean look to it. One single off-yellow couch sits in the corner of the room with a coffee table in front of it. 

“Finally!” Taehyung rejoices to himself as he plops his bags down on the edge of the bed.

You, however, walk yourself to the coffee table and neatly take out pieces of your electronics and begin to step up a small work desk for yourself.

“The place looks great,” you comment as you toss the remote controller over toward the bed for Taehyung. 

“Yeah, I like it too!” Taehyung shuffles through his bags and gathers articles of clothing for himself. He continues to unzip and pull apart his items all over the spread of the bed. “Did you want to do a nightly recording before bed?”

You nod as you focus on angeling your laptop and connecting it to an outlet in the wall beside you. “With some of the sites we managed to see today, like the Robert’s house and High School, I think we can talk about some things if you’re up for it. It is kind of late though.”

“My legs hurt from walking so much,” he laughs while he sits on the bed and kicks off his shoes. “Can we do a mini-one? I’m kind of beat. Going to jump in the shower before anything though. Do you want to join?”

Looking over at Taehyung, you see he has a satisfied face without giving you a glance. You’re well aware he has already determined his actions for the next 30 minutes and you are in no position to stop him.

“I’m ok, I can wait.” You smile. Typing in your password to the laptop, you smile to yourself. “I can start reheating those microwavable meals while you are in the shower so they’ll be ready by the time you come out.”

Taehyung makes his way over to you as he leans down. All his clothes and toiletries are stuffed in between his arms.

“Thank you,” he grins as he waits for you to connect his awaiting kiss. 

You bite on your bottom lip before giving him what he wants. It’s a sweet and simple kiss, nothing hidden behind its meaning besides pure adoration.

The two of you are cut off by the sound of your hotel’s phone ringing. You give Taehyung a muddled face but he looks just as perplexed as you do. He moves toward the phone and by the third ring he picks it up.

“Hello?”

You watch as Taehyung’s facial gestures change through a series of confusion and amusement. He holds back a cringe smile, probably trying not to laugh.

“Oh yeah?” he says back to the phone. “A game?”

You furrow your brows while watching him. Taehyung wears a lopsided grin as he shifts his weight on his feet.

“Not interested, but this was cool,” he comments before hanging up the phone.

“Was that the front desk?” You blink at him.

Taehyung shakes his head while shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t think so,” he huffed a laugh. “Someone trying to do the Ghostface voice.”

“What really?” You speak with astonishment, “No way!”

He departs towards the bathroom before the phone rings once again. Taehyung stops and turns on his heels, eyes glaring at the phone that flashes. Taehyung shares a curious glance with you and raises his eyebrows.

“Do you want to answer it?”

The phone continues to ring until you finally decide for yourself to head over toward it. You grip the device with no hesitation and lift it to your ear. On the other side of the line you hear nothing at first besides heavy breathing. It stands the hairs on the back of your neck.

You allow the silence to linger between you and the caller, just listening for the only noises you can hear. A deep chuckle emits in a raspy tone.

“Hey, we’re not finished yet,” the ominous, taunting threatening voice speaks.

“Who is this?” you question with the thrill knowing you’re asking the most silly question.

It’s most definitely some form of prank based on how active and inventive Woodsboro is. You wonder how often people play the part of acting as Ghostface for shits and giggles. But from an out of townie like yourself, something like this seems so cool to you. Not annoying whatsoever. 

Taehyung has already entered the bathroom, leaving the door open just in case you change your mind or not if you choose to join him, while you sit on the edge of the bed. The shower is running and one can only assume Taehyung has stripped down to his bare nakedness and submerged himself under the cascade of water by now.

“Who do you think this is?”

You entertain the person on the other line. “The most obvious answer for Woodsboro would be Ghostface. Am I right?”

“Yes,” the rugged voice replies. “Aren’t you so smart?”

“I’m a big fan,” you giggle.

“Do you like scary movies?”

“Of course I do. Why do you think I’m here?” you laugh at the classic phrase being spoken to you. Before you allow the other person to respond, you fake yawn out of boredom. “This is so unoriginal. You’ve lost my interest already.”

In a warning tone, the voice threatens, “Don’t hang up on me!”

“It’s late and I'm tired,” you claim before placing the phone down on its receiver. 

You sigh as you stare at the device on the bedside table. There’s plenty of spooks to go around all day tomorrow, you don’t need anymore right now.

A knock on the door alerts you, Taehyung can even hear it from inside the bathroom. Creeping up to the peephole, you see nobody on the other side of your door. Slowly, you back up making a disgruntled noise.

“Who is it, baby?” Your boyfriend shouts from the shower.

“It’s nobody,” you respond loud enough for him to hear. As you pass by the bathroom, you see Taehyung’s head poking out from behind the shower curtain – wet locks and everything. You give him a brief smile and shrug, raising your hands up. “I didn’t see anyone. Probably just a prank.”

“Huh,” Taehyung mulls over it for a second. He tilts his head with a wink, “You want to join me now?”

It’s hard to resist his innocent persuasion. His invitation of a nice hot, steamy shower is so inviting.

“Sure,” you smile.

You take one single step in the bathroom before your hotel room’s phone goes off again. You stare at Taehyung with confusion and alarm. 

“Just unplug it from the wall.”

“Yeah… yeah,” you laugh.

You’re sure to disconnect the phone by the wire as well as locking both locks on your hotel room door. You shimmy off your clothes on your way into the bathroom, placing the towels nearby for when you need to grab them. Taehyung hums a melodic tune to himself as he washes his face under the showerhead as you peel open the curtain.

Your eyes scan the expanse of his wet nude body with a warm smile. He feels the cool draft enter his vicinity and turns to glance at you after wiping his eyes clean from the water.

“You alright?”

“Mhm,” you swallow. “Just surprised how dedicated some fans get with this place.”

Walking hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, you stroll along with some pep to your step. Thrills and shrills send signals throughout your nerves and you can tell it’s affecting Taehyung the way it does to you. Excitement and adrenaline. Together, the both of you walk along the line of the road flooded with lingering sight-seers all prepared to enter in the biggest hot spot of the night.

261 Turner Lane.

The location with the record of most murders and attacks know to Woodsboro – in regard to Ghostface. Taehyung begged you to visit the Woodsboro Hospital earlier this morning after your first night at the hotel. A place where several people, like Jill Roberts, Sidney’s cousin, and Sheriff Dwight ‘Dewey’ Riley had died. You two even managed to visit the Reed’s residence where Kirby and her friends were attacked nearly 10 years ago! However, that place was more off limits to civilians and most definitely did not want horror-nerds, like yourself, sniffing around with nostalgia.

All the sites are small, but hold so much weight and horrific memories for many. You can sympathize with those who are haunted by the past and understand that their community has gone through so much. But the geekiness of your love for horror and minor obsession with understanding serial killers and motives can almost desensitize the world around you. 

Considering how it’s not just you, or Taehyung, who enjoy these types of things. But with how your eyes scan around every inch that Woodsboro has to offer, the exhilaration of it all continues to live because of the enthusiasts!

Merchandise, candy, confetti, bags, and balloons scattering around the town as if it’s a carnival for the one and only Ghostface. People of all ages dress up in the legendary costume and perform reenactments or shows. Even you, who is caught up in the mix of fun and games, walk around with a matching customized bracelet that you wear proudly with Taehyung. It sports a small trinket with your initials engraved into it right next to a hanging silver dagger that represents a buck knife.

For slicing and dicing… and also to constitute Ghostface's traditional weapon of use.

You cycle through your camera for all the photos and footage the two of you captured from your previous day excursions, making mental notes on what you should talk about on your next podcast after the two of you leave this town. Taehyung makes sure to point out everything he wants in the camera as well as he looks over your shoulder. With his fingers still intertwined with yours, he pulls your arm closer to his body so he can hold you closer to him.

“How much do you think we’ll be able to see? I tried to stay away from the internet so I didn’t get spoiled with anything,” He questions as his eyes look toward the front of the line you two stand in.

“I would hope for everything,” you speak softly. “It would be worth it to show off the entire house. It looks like they have hosts who direct you around,” you point over to a worker wearing a red tucked in button-up and dark dress pants.

The two of you admire the view of the side of the house, showing how the line you stand in extends with at least 50 bodies or more. But the home is dressed up nicely as if it was any other house you can see in Woodsboro. Beautiful flowers trail along the edgings of the road such as daffodils, red lilies, and purple agapanthus’. Tall brushes and thick weeds compliment the tan exterior of the house and deep green shingles. Shrubs and cobblestone walkways. Your mind paints a picture of all the gruesome and alarming actions that once took place here.

A little fountain in the middle of the entrance alley is drained of its water, showing off the rustic residue. Eerie music fills the air, played to entertain the ears of those who are visiting this walk-through house. Group by group, you see people filter into the front entrance of the notorious home. Eagerly, you and Taehyung step closer and closer and await your turn.

At the gate, a working crew at a small stand pulls out pieces of papers to fill out. Files to keep documented for those who enter and liability checks. Your signature is needed along with demographics and contact information. You hear screams up ahead, laughter soon to follow. Lights in the house flicker on and off, but the music ellipses over the brunt of the shrieks. 

You pay a fee, nothing too expensive, for the two of you before signing your agreement. Fearlessly, both you and Taehyung allow the workers to strap on a colored bracelet to your wrists. 

“Thank you,” you two express gratitude as you step along with the rest of the crowd.

The papers serve as a waiver, giving formal structure with risk involved sections, assumptions of risk sections, law provision, and respect to state laws. The owners of the house and those involved with the business have every right to hold your papers and pull you from the attraction site. Even though this is for fun and games, the seriousness of the property comes with its own stakes.

The Macher’s house, now rebranded into the name ‘Horror House’ for the attraction, stands at 5,500 square feet. To your knowledge, there are up to 4 bedrooms residing inside the establishment. Several bathrooms, a 3-car garage, rear and front foyers, and much more. With over 290 acres of land, creek frontage, and a span of eucalyptus groves, this amazing home survives decades of dreadful history.

You follow the path along the walkway with Taehyung by your side. Securing your purse around your body so it doesn’t snag on anything while you're inside, you turn to your boyfriend who’s snapping photos of the landscape and crowd.

“No flash photography!” You hear a worker shout at the entrance of the home. They hold up a flashlight directed toward Taehyung as they address him.

“Turn it off,” you whisper-yell at him as you pull his arm down. “Let’s not get thrown out before even getting inside.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was on until I took the photo!”

“Have bags opened and ready to be checked! Pockets emptied!”

As you step up the porch stairs of the Macher’s house, you hear busy workers repeating rules verbatim. They make this as swift and nimble as possible. Taehyung passes through security first, being patted down from all sides before they allow you to step through. They search your bag and roughly touch over your arms and jacket pockets, looking for any unnecessary hidden items for the protection of the house, staff, and customers.

Inside the house, the lights flicker on a timer. Red and yellow glows illuminate the walls as some areas in the house remain dim with no light source. The two of you are guided through the main entrance of the house by your hostess. The moment you step through, a loud group of screams appear overhead on the stairs right above you. People tripping over another and laughing from being spooked by someone in a Ghostface costume who has jumped out from behind a door frame.

You grab onto Taehyung on instinct while chuckling at yourself for getting scared from the loud noise. He, too, is startled momentarily, but he flashes a smile that expresses the fever buzz his body is radiating. 

“Spooks and scares is the theme tonight!” Your hostess speaks in singsong. “Get ready to survive the fright!”

As corny as that rhyme sounds, it makes both you and your boyfriend giggle. You listen intently to the hostesses' words and fair warnings. How everything within the house is a reenactment of some sort and only serves to get your nerves jumping with fear. To be careful of your surroundings and not to stray too far away from your group. Playing in the funhouse is what you guys came here for anyways.

A loud dong resounds over the music, the clock striking an hour before midnight. Loud cheers and hollers are heard from inside and outside, everyone rejoicing with excitement.

“This shit’s so wild,” you comment with a bright look. You lean in towards Taehyung’s ear to whisper to him next, “Say, whenever we can… try recording some of the places in here without the staff seeing.”

“Already ahead of you,” he comments with a mischievous grin. His eyes flicker down to his pants pocket where his phone’s camera pops out just enough to show. In secret, he must have hit record and slid the device nonchalantly. “I’ve been recording after they yelled at me for the flash,” he laughs.

“I’m your hostess, Hallie. Please be advised that other parties are roaming around the building. So you most definitely will intermingle at some point. Please try your best to stick with me.” The petite, younger woman, adjusts her shirts’ sleeves along her wrists. Flashing the two of you the happiest of smiles.

“Can I ask,” you interject ever so slightly. “How long have you guys been running this?”

Hallie smiles with a nod, “About 4 months now. After the previous owners listed the house, it wasn’t very long for the current owner to snatch it off the market.”

“And no problems?” You quiz as you look around.

“Most furniture have been replaced with replicas just in case of damage. But it’s such a popular site, nobody has complained besides some locals.”

All three of you glance over towards a door frame in the back of the foyer. It’s hard to see but flashes of people running across the backend of the house come into view, followed by another person in a costume. 

“There’s been some renovations to the house to maintain multiple entrances and exits to allow the flow of parties to weave in and out. Ideally, throughout your walkthrough you will visit every section of the house and even the field out back. Just mind the parties around you. We usually have about 7 parties at once to keep the line moving at a decent pace.”

Taehyung wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you comfortably against him. He shifts on his feet but directs his attention to Hallie.

“I think what she’s trying to ask is if there’s been any murders because of this,” he emphazises with a gesture of his hand.

Hallie gives the two of you a cheerful smile, flashing her set of pearly whites. “None whatsoever.” She steps in closer towards the two of you, taking hold of the earpiece in her ear to muffle her next words for whoever is listening on the other end. “But between us, I think this town wants to keep the slasher story alive and well.”

You both blink at her dumbfounded, but she holds up a hushed finger before placing her earpiece back in. She clicks on her small handheld flashlight that shines a bright blue, waving it in the air towards the walls of the house.

“So let us begin our journey through the Horror House! Our group color is blue,” she references the flashlight’s light color., “So if you ever need to find me, look for my light.”

Quickly, and before Hallie leads you to the left side of the house, you whip out your phone to snap a photo of you and Taehyung. The lighting is absolutely terrible but you manage to get the quarter turned staircase and sparkling chandelier above. Taehyung presses his lips against your cheek as you grin ear to ear to show your utmost happiness.

“Happy Anniversary!” you cheer to yourself as you snap the photo.

“Phones away please,” Hallie demands as her light flashes at you. “First and final warning.”

“Sorry, sorry,” you meekly say. You shrug like how a child does when they’re in trouble.

You shove your phone back inside your purse and zip it up tight. You grimace when Hallie gives you a sharp look, but she tilts her head and opens up her arms to guide you into the next room.

The room is lit up with a dim light, covered with plenty of floorspace and loveseat couches. The fireplace displays a fake fire while smoke roams on the floor. It serves as a living space, but before you or Taehyung can geek out about it, Hallie declares that this is not the room where any murders took place.

“One of the most unused areas of the house happens to be right here!” She exclaims. The celinings are tall, giving the room a larger feeling to it. Over in the corner stands a mannequin of Ghostface in an attacking pose, decorations surround it while the large mirror behind it shows your reflection.

Another round of terrific screams come from another part of the house and you can’t help but grip Taehyung’s hand tighter in your hold. The spooky aura of the house, and knowing the history, fuels your brain into all the acts.

“Now if you follow me this way, we’ll be entering the one area where Sidney and Stu battled out a fight, resulting in Sidney breaking a potted plant over Stu’s head and dropping an entire television on him!”

Hallie walks through first, pointing out a replicated television set standing in the corner of the room in front of some more couches. A coffee table is littered with candy, snacks, and drinks – as if there was an active party going on. You and Taehyung walk in right after her, only to get your first fright of the night when an actor jumps out from the side of the doorframe and grunts at the two of you.

“Ah!” You yelp but immediately slap your hand over your chest from laughing. 

“Fuck!” Taehyung curses as his arm briefly comes up in defense.

The actor maintains character, hardly speaks but stays menacing enough. They hold up their false dagger, moving their arm in an attacking motion as both you and Taehyung maneuver around the floor without stumbling over another. The lights flicker with the beat of the sinister music, all to help create a fun horror-themed house.

“God this is so good!” You declare as you step around a few broken pieces of chairs as you get into the next room. 

Your eyes scan around every inch and every corner of the beautiful house, given what little lighting you have to work with. You wish you can take it all in at your own pace, record things you want when you want to. But you need to be crafty and careful. So any chance you get, when Hallie or any other floating bodies of people aren’t looking your way, you try to fish through your purse to pull out your phone and capture a photo.

Taehyung on the other hand, is still rocking his secret pocket recording. You can tell he’s turning his body more often than so – probably to get as much footage as possible without being caught. 

“This is the main attraction here! The climatic kitchen!” Hallie walks forward and around a small island table, tapping her hands on the counter like beating on a drum. “Where chicken and vegetables aren’t the only things that got cut up in here.”

You give Hallie a pensive glare, nearly shaking your head the moment the words left her lips.

“Eh,” she shrugs. “You’re right. That punchline isn’t that funny.”

Taehyung admires the white countertops and ocean blue walls which match the tiles above the stove. The window by the kitchen sink has blood splatters across it, red liquid dripping down into the silver stainless steel. Popcorn pieces are littered everywhere, while an old-timey phone hangs off the hinge of its cable.

“This is so fucking cool,” he comments. “Everything! All right here.” He stands with his arms outstretched. “This whole house has so much history! I can practically feel it.” He’s astonished but shows all his gratitude through giddiness. “Can you even imagine all the thoughts and emotions of the people who have gone through here?”

You step close to him as you check out a calendar up on the wall. It’s from 1996, September, with dates circled and highlighted and has written notes over which days and approximate times people have been attacked here during the first massacre.

“Too bad it’s not the 28th anymore and it’s the 29th. We’d be here exactly 26 years from when the first reign of Ghostface came to an end.”

“Yeah, but,” Taehyung nudges you in the arm. “It is our anniversary. So it’s still special.”

A loud thud from upstairs causes all three of you to jump in your spots. You whip your head around to look at Hallie who is already making her move towards the front foyer again, waving the two of you on with her.

“Let’s head upstairs, shall we?”

You wrap around to the front once again to see a new party of people entering the house. Hallie steps besides the stairs and points upward, telling the two of you to walk up. Taehyung shows no hesitation, but for you, you notice how there’s fake blood smeared all over the carpet of each stair. With your naked eye, it looks fresh. It is not until the time you reach the top of the stairs do you notice that the red paint was still wet and now tracks from your footprints.

Before you can question anything, you pivot and are ushered up another set of small stairs. The second story of the home has plenty of space. There is a nice little balcony area over the foyer that you can look down in, peeping at the groups of people who roam around the floors. You spot another actor walking around in a costume creeping behind a straggler, waiting any second for them to scare the person.

“Baby, let’s go.”

Taehyung pats you on your back as he passes you, following the hostesses lead into the master bedroom. There’s more decor dressing the house even scarier, and this time, the entire room is flipped upside down. The bed sheets and comforter are ripped apart, feathers from the pillows fallen on the floor. 

It’s staged as if someone ransacked the entire room. It helps seeing a stuffed life-sized doll laying on the floor in a pile of blood. Both you and Taehyung express admiration over the scene, feeding into the question Hallie hits you with.

“Now, what might have happened here?”

“Looks like a murder,” Taehyung replies evidently. 

Suddenly, a mysterious Ghostface appears from the master bathroom with his knife wielded high into the air. They step towards Hallie quickly, bee-lining their way straight to her to attack her.

She screams, and you respond with the same noise back. Ghostface digs his knife into her backside as Hallie stares at you and your boyfriend with shock. Her flashlight drops to the ground as Ghostface stabs her again.

You immediately back up, walking over the display of horror in the center of the room and walking over to another exit of the master suit.

“Holy shit,” you mutter as you’re grabbing Taehyung by the jacket to yank him with you. “Hallie?” you question as you watch her and Ghostface interact.

Your hostess drops to her knees before finally landing on the ground, face first into the carpet. While Ghostface stands there, head tilting to look over at the two of you as they clean off their knife with their gloves.

“Tae, move,” you urge while pulling on him more. You continue to back up until you see the steps to the stairs. They lead right to the ones that come from the foyer.

Ghostface begins to stalk you, rushing over to attack. Taehyung follows you as you pull him along urgently, frantically.

“This isn’t right. No, no, no,” you scream. You attempt to turn to run downstairs, but you nearly slip from trying to stop yourself. A group of people are in the middle of walking up the stairs, preventing you from going down. Taehyung hoists you back up, making you run to the other side and searches for the nearest door to run through.

“Run!” He shouts to anyone who can hear. Taehyung looks over his shoulder to see if Ghostface is still chasing you, and for a fact – they very much are!

Taehyung nearly pushes you through the far end door, closing it tight behind him. He searches for the locks, even moves a piece of furniture in front of the door quickly out of pure instinct. Your heart races erratically, but you turn and look at Taehyung with surprise.

You begin to laugh out loud, holding your head with your hands. Looking around, you notice the two of you are barricaded in a storage area. Like an attic of some sorts.

“This is hilarious!” you chuckle. You move around some useless knick knacks storage on top of some boxes. “We just got chased by a Ghostface!”

Taehyung nervously goes along with your lighthearted giggles, until his nerves bubble down into full blown laughter. He notices he has scratched his hand during the mix of everything. A cut annoying enough to draw blood.

“Yeah! Ha –” he runs his other hand through his hair, “– That was really funny.”

A bang hits the door and the two of you jolt in your place. The door gets hit again with a louder thud. When you notice the handle jingling, both Taehyung and you back up slightly. More shrieks and hollars are made from outside the door but you stay staring at it, begging for the door not to open.

When the door bursts open, but is blocked by the furniture Taehyung placed in front of it, you see the mask of Ghostface sticking through with their arm. Swinging wildly with their knife in hand. It clinks and digs into the wood of the door.

You walk backwards, deeper into the storage area and run over to one of the windows to look outside. You begin hitting your hands on the glass, screaming for help as you look down at the line of people still waiting to get inside of the house. The music is blaring and screaming coming from this house is practically normal – so your cries for help go completely unnoticed.

Taehyung grabs you from your shoulder, pulling you back as he calls your name.

“Y/n, Y/n! Look,” Taehyung points out another door that was hidden from view. Maybe one of the many renovations Hallie had spoken about earlier. “Come, come!” He begs as he holds onto your hand and leads you towards it.

He pried the door open after pushing boxes away from it. Stairs that lead down below welcome you, and happily the two of you take them. The darkness makes it impossible to see, but once you hit the last step into the new room, you realize you’re just outside the kitchen nook area.

“This house is so confusing,” you comment. “All the rooms practically intertwine with another!”

“The garage!” Taehyung pulls you with him, leading you to the door that’s been cracked open. Together, you push it open and step down the three wooden stairs. You notice a party with their host, they turn to you in shock. “Ghostface is chasing us!” Taehyung shouts as he practically drags you to the one open garage door. 

You see the darkness of the night outside in the driveway. The sooner you’re out of the house the quicker you will feel safe. At least that’s what runs through your mind as you stumble over yourself as you rush out of the garage.

“Relax guys!” The host says. He flashes his green light at you as his hand comes up to halt your running spree. “It’s just a part of the show! What’s your color?”

Taehyung stops the two of you in the middle of the driveway. You’re now at the back of the house, away from the long line of horror enthusiasts, and can see golf carts set up for roaming the many acres of the backyard.

You grip onto his arm, holding tightly as your heartbeat races inside your chest. Wide eyed, you stare at the other host and the group they’re guiding.

“We’re blue,” Taehyung comments. He sounds slightly winded, but he hides it well when speaking back to the worker.

The host reaches for a walky-talky from his back pocket, pressing the button to speak into the voicebox.

“I have the blue party at the garage. Can the host of blue come here?”

Taehyung wraps his arm around you, pulling you tight against him as you two stand aimlessly. There’s an uproar inside the house, joyous laughters and shouts for help. It rounds every 30 seconds or so. But it begins to sound unnerving. Maybe the horror funhouse is really scaring you.

“Hey,” Taehyung whispers as he runs his hands along your arm. “Not to psych you out or anything… but look where we’re standing right now.”

You glance around, seeing a boat covered with a tarp. A concrete walkway leads to the back desk of the house to your right and a row of lights line up beside it. It doesn’t hit you until Taehyung speaks the words “doggy door” to you that you realize exactly what you should be looking at.

The middle garage door is the place where Tatum Riley was found crushed at the top. Stuck between the dog door and the top of the garage.

You move around Taehyung to sneak a quick photo of the area. With enough space, you back up and capture the scene – making sure to capture Taehyung in the frame.

From the roof, windows from above peer out of the building. Inside one of those windows stands a person with the mask on, staring down at you. It raises a knife to the glass, tapping on it. 

Taunting you. 

Teasing you.

Minutes have gone by before someone shows up. Thankfully that person is Hallie, your original hostess. She steps into the garage from the kitchen, like how Taehyung and you had just done before.

“Jesus, where have you guys gone to? You’re so fast!” She exclaims with a huff.

“Wha-what?” You reply. “You were attacked!”

“It was an act,” she reassures. “Only to scare you! I see that it worked.” She laughs. Hallie turns her body left and right to show you her well being, “See, I’m unharmed. It’s all good.”

“I mean, I guess it is a funhouse. We just got caught up in it,” Taehyung mumbles. “I even thought it was real for a second there.” His deep chuckle makes you feel a little at ease.

“So are we ready to continue the house tour? We have more bumps and scares ahead of us.”

You stare off into space as your mind continues to think about all the places and things you’ve seen. Ever since that small scare at the Macher’s house, you can’t help but shake the feeling of what it could have been like for all who were murdered by someone behind the terrorizing mask that haunts this town. It feels almost too real for a reenactment, even though your hostess was perfectly fine in the end. Taehyung managed to get scraped in the process of running throughout the house while your shirt, which you didn’t notice until you got back to the hotel, ended up having a small tear in it. But that’s what a horror themed funhouse could do to those who enter. Freak them out. Psych them up.

Your fingers fiddle with another while you listen haphazardly to Taehyung recording himself for the podcast in the corner of your hotel room. He goes on and on about how much he’s enjoyed himself and shows off a handful of his memorable trinkets he’s bought from a few item shops. His freshly washed hair is combed back and away from his face; one small piece of tissue paper stuck to the blood patch on his upper lip – he must have cut himself shaving.

Gripping the small dangling chain of your matching bracelet, you twist it around playfully. You love how it’s customized and you also love how it’s something you two share. This horror-road trip the two of you set out on for your anniversary week is such a lovely occasion. Taehyung surprisingly took most of the reins for planning, which secondhandly makes you feel a tad bit ashamed for not being able to contribute as much.

However, you and only you know how to make Taehyung feel the most special. Give him the happiness that he deserves. Even when he’s the one who spoils you the most. 

As you look over and watch him geek out over his favorite serial killer story, you can’t help but smile with awe. He has no idea how you’re watching him so intently. Applauding every boast and passionate joy he releases through his words. Taehyung has no clue what you have secretly planned for him for tonight.

And your entrance means everything.

Quietly, you gather a bag of goodies by your side – making sure not to draw Taehyung’s attention when you hushly pack a few extra items into it. You glance once, twice, just to make sure he’s staying indulged with his video editing.

You don’t need to announce that you’re heading to the shower. But you’re hoping Taehyung understands your need to lock the bathroom door behind you. With grace, you twist the nozzle for the shower on, waiting for the temperature of the water to blast the warmth you desire.

“In and out,” you mumble to yourself. “Don’t take forever.”

With the time ticking, you bath yourself faster than usual. Every inch of your skin is loathed up with your soapy washcloth and each stand of your hair touches shampoo and conditioner. When it comes to shaving, you choose to take your time. There’s no point of rushing in a haste and accidentally nipping yourself somewhere.

You prep and prime the rest of your body once you exit the shower. Running your mouth through with some fresh mouthwash, you multitask with lathering lotion all over your skin.

For the finale, you place some light make-up on your face. Highlighting your eyes and illuminating your cheeks with complimentary colors for you. 

A wicked smile stretches across your face once you pull out your black lingerie from your bag. It was perfectly hidden with the Ghostface mask you’ve stored along with a retractable plastic dagger. You slip on piece by piece, lace and fishnets covering over your body in a sinful and sinister kind of way. Your thong sits tight across your waist, and the garter belts from the corset piece you now wear clips onto the stockings on your thighs.

“Shit,” you look around the counter of the sink for your phone. You must have left it on the bed while you snuck away here. No time to take some sexy Ghostface mirror selfies without ruining the surprise first.

“Baby, are you ok in there?” Taehyung's concerned voice calls out from behind the door.

You’re quick to interrupt, cutting any further talk off as you sinch the last belt over your waist.

“I’m good! Just thought I dropped something down the sink, but I didn’t!”

This is the first time you’ve worn something this elegant and fancy for Taehyung, with a new twist to it. The mask you hold in your hand lifts over your face, covering the top of your head before it settles in place.

The sheer black material of the eye holes only dims your vision slightly; but other than that you can see most of everything clearly.

You turn off the bathroom light before you open the door to return to Taehyung. With the fake dagger in one hand and your other on the handle, you hold your breath until you finally are ready to step through.

Finding yourself on the wall, you slant against it in a saucy pose. Lowering yourself just enough to look like you’re nearly ready to continue slipping. Your boyfriend doesn’t hear you at first, not with his nose driven deep into his cell phone and thumbs tapping away on the screen.

“Hey babe,” you tap lightly against the wall with your knuckles. “I want to play a game.”

Your outfit is hiked shorter than usual, showing off more lower half and making you appear all the leggier as your fishnet stockings welcome Taehyung’s eyes. The black lingerie calls to him, even the added Ghostface mask to top it all off. Your breasts are held firm against your chest with how your corset fits. Shaping you in such a beautiful and complementarity way. You wiggle your fake weapon at him as you drag the tip of it down between your chest to your navel. Forcing his eyes to follow your every move.

And how could he focus on anything besides you right now? 

The buzzing of his phone in his hand doesn’t register to him. The noise on the television doesn’t distract him. The only thing his attention is on is how godly, how gorgeous, you look right here.

Right now.

“B-Baby?” His jaw drops. You’ve rendered him nearly speechless as his mind processes how completely stunning and mouthwatering you are. “Is this for me?” He smiles with amusement.

You nod your head slowly, using the knife to trail down your thigh and up between them. Lightly toying with the idea of it touching you in your naughty bits.

“Do you like it?” You lift yourself off the wall. Slowly you walk towards your dumbfounded boyfriend as sexy as you can, swaying your hips with each step. “I thought this could be a nice little treat for our anniversary, babe.”

“Oh, this is most definitely a nice little treat,” he comments as he licks his lips. Taehyung places his phone down on the coffee table in front of him. “Look at you!” He exclaims with a wide grin. “Look at this fucking outfit, I mean… fuck me, wow!”

He praises with excitement and wide eyes. Taehyung practically eats you up from head to toe.

“Thank you, I spent a lot of time thinking about how to woo you.”

“I’m howlin’ for you,” he jumps up from his chair. “Are you trying to kill me with that outfit?”

“Get the camera,” you flash him a smile.

Taehyung grabs hold of the recording device from the coffee table. Barely able to click it on, he covers the lens when he talks with you.

“This isn’t going on YouTube,” he murmurs with a nervous laugh.

You make your way over to your boyfriend, glide your hands up his chest and hook around his shoulders. The fake blade in your hand slowly draws lines up towards his neck. You attempt to be sexy and murderous at the same time.

“You wanna record me, babe?” You question rhetorically with seduction. As if you’re surprised he has the camera in his hand. Even though he cannot see your face behind the mask, he knows you’re giving him those sensual eyes he loves.

Taehyung focuses the camera on you, recording on play while he zooms in and out on your saucy attire. His eyes cannot leave you, mind racing with delicious thought after thought.

“Jesus, baby, you’re making me so hard. Best present ever!”

You pull his body close to yours, drag one of his hands to run up your thigh and around to the curve of your ass. Lifting your leg up, you allow Taehyung to hold you against him. His fingernails rake up your bare thighs, scratching and pulling at your skin and fabric.

His building erection becomes prominent through his shorts as you press yourself into him. To test him and to feel him.

“I can feel you,” you comment. With your might, you direct Taehyung to the edge of the bed before pushing him down to sit. His body flops enough for him to prop himself up by his elbows, looking up with you hungry and thirsty. His camera scans you from tip to toe, making sure to capture every single essence of your nightly Ghostface vibes. “I haven’t even gotten to play my game with you.”

Taehyung smiles, his teeth capturing his bottom lip. “You’re a fucking tease, you know that?”

“Oh, poo,” you mock lightheartedly. “Does Taehyung not want any of this?” you shimmy your chest just enough to emphasize your cleavage. For good measure, your hand comes up to squeeze the mound. Giving Taehyung a sight to see but also giving you a sensation you need.

Your boyfriend leans up and goes to grab at your chest, but you stop him with the dagger pointed at him. 

“Ah-ah!” You taunt, “My game.”

Taehyung laughs as he sits back and admits defeat, for now. He gives you a passive gaze but gestures for you to continue onward. He’s interested in what you want to do.

“Let’s have some trivia,” you start as you tilt your head. “But first, a couple of small rules.”

“I’m listening,” Taehyung nods obediently. 

“One, don’t interrupt,” you hold out a finger. You wiggle it at the camera that’s still on you as Taehyung raises his eyebrows at your asserting behavior. “Two, no touching!”

Taehyung deeply chuckles to himself. A challenge for him of course.

“And three,” you continue, “and this is the most important rule of them all…”

Your boyfriend shuffles himself up the bed slightly, legs spreading a smidgen wider for his growing bulge. It’s very evident through the fabric of his shorts, but you pay it no attention.

“I’m listening, baby. Tell me what it is,” he urges you on as he angles the camera.

Your knee bends into the end of the bed, pressing into the mattress where Taehyung is leaning back on. Stretching your legs open a little wider, you tease the idea of your prettiness and smooth thighs to him. The knife in your hand points towards the camera as your other hand presses into Taehyung’s chest to push him down.

“All eyes on me,” you speak beneath the mask you wear.

“God you’re so sexy…” Taehyung murmurs. His chest rises and falls with anticipation, and you already know you have him locked and loaded. “How did I get so luc –”

“– Let’s begin!” You twist the blade in your hand. “Get each question right and I'll touch myself for you. Get them wrong and well… let’s just say you won’t have a happy ending tonight.”

Taehyung’s smile never leaves his face while his eyes cannot focus on any specific part of your body. He wants to drink you all up, savior every single second of this sexy foreplay you have going on.

You hold up a single finger as you trail an invisible line above your cleavage area. It dances over each of your collar bones and up the length of your neck. A snicker escapes your throat, but the tone is more promiscuous than evil.

“I’ll give you an easy one. In the first Stab movies, which actress plays the part of the Woodsboro native, Sidney Prescott?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “Tori Spelling.”

“Yes! Very good,” you announce. Your palm grasps the mound of your tit as you feel yourself up in front of your boyfriend. Slowly, you slide your hand down the expanse of your torso down toward your hip. Making sure to outline all your curves and edges. You toy with the hemline of your panties through the sheer fabric that hangs down from your bust. “Ready for question number two?”

You watch the way Taehyung stares, rattling his brain about all the things he wants to do with you. To tease him further, your hand lands on his thigh as you guide it up toward the junction of his hips. With purpose, you avoid touching him where he’ll enjoy it the most. Letting him know you’re only centimeters away from pleasuring his cock.

“Yeah, hit me with the next one,” he murmurs. You can tell his voice is going softer as he stays focused.

“What was the name of the first book Gale Weathers wrote?”

You turn the dagger in your hand to drag the handle across your thigh. Bringing it up towards your clothed cunt that you keep spread open as your knee continues to bend into the mattress. Tilting your head, you let out a sweet “hmm?” noise towards Taehyung who is gawking at the way you decide to use your prop.

“Uh, uhm…”

“C’mon, babe. I know reading isn’t your forte… but a Ghostface fanatic should know this as well!”

“Isn’t it the Woodsboro Murders?” he looks up to you briefly for affirmation. There’s a sweet innocence to his eyes, clouded within the lust that pools in there.

“Ah? Is that your final answer?” you chuckle as you place your other knee onto the bed to now tower your boyfriend. With force, you make sure he’s pinned flat on his back.

“Why do you make it sound like it’s wrong?” he quizzes you as he places the camera to the side.

“Oh, because it is,” you interject quickly. With nothing else said, you take Taehyung’s answer and discipline him. “It’s Wrongly Accused. Based on the Maureen Prescoutt murder.” You unwrap a piece of black fabric off of your outfit, long enough to wrap around Taehyung’s head to cover his eyes. You’ve chosen to blind him from seeing you for now, since his answer was incorrect. He needs to be penalized somehow.

“Baby,” he whines. “I want to see you!”

“Get the questions right and maybe you will,” you threaten.

You grab ahold of his hand and drag it close to your warm body. Giving Taehyung something to visualize, you guide his palm across your fishnet leggings and up the side of your hip. He hums satisfaction, it matches the lopsided grin plastered to his face.

“Next question. Which college did Sidney and her friends get attacked at back in 1998?”

You shuffle your body forward, placing both of your legs around Taehyung’s frame as you sit on his lap. His hard-on pains with lack of touch beneath you, but your added warmth and friction helps the slightest. Taehyung’s free hand taps on his chest as he ponders the question while the one you escort up your body touches and feels you.

“Windsor College.”

“Correct!” You praise as you sit further down onto his bulge. With excitement, you bring Taehyung’s hand up to have access to your breasts. You moan softly when he takes the lead and gropes you across your chest. Making sure to feel and fondle both of them equally and with full appreciation.

“I like this game,” he comments with a gruffier voice.

“I bet you do, babe.” You lean down toward your boyfriend's face, smiling under the mask at how pretty and complacent he is under your ministrations. You allow him to continue to tug and toy with your tits, plucking at your nipples through the material when he can. But you take a fist full of his hair with your hand and hold him to the mattress. A little roughness wouldn’t hurt him. “Here’s another for you,” you hold up your fake knife against his throat. “In Stab 6, what images did the Facebook stalker use to catfish Trudy?”

Taehyung chuckles once again, tilting his head to the side as you place more pressure with the grip on his hair.

“Channing Tatum’s Abercrombie photos. I’m sure you’d enjoy those too.”

“Not as much as I enjoy you,” you smile. 

Your grip releases from him as you settle back on your heels. His hand chases you, but you’re fast to move it down lower. Between the apex of your thighs. Taehyung hums at the contact and from how damp you already feel. He skillfully pets along your folds from the outside of your thong, tracing patterns across your lady-bits.

You take a moment to relish in the feeling. It nearly distracts you from your game because of how much you want him to sink his fingers inside of you.

The two of you share a warm giggle with another, noticing how your hips start to move with the pace of his fingers.

“I thought you were supposed to touch yourself?” Taehyung teases.

“Well,” you breathe. “I changed my… mind.”

Taehyung grins, “I wonder why…” he acts coy. His knuckles graze across your clit through your panties and it forces you to hold yourself by placing a hand on his chest. “Do I get another question?”

Your breath hitches, it’s becoming unbearable to breathe under your mask. You clear your throat, gripping a fist full of his shirt, “Yes. Last year, what was the name of Sheriff Judy’s son who was murdered mere minutes after her at their residence here in Woodsboro?”

A fingertip trails on the outside of your thong, tickling you in the process. Taehyung slips his digit underneath, touching your slippery pussy. It glides smoothly, easy for him to slide further to touch you deeper.

“Fuck. Tae,” you softly groan.

He reaches around with his other hand, testing how far he can go while you still hold the dominant position. His palm grips your bare ass, weaving through the pieces of fishnet leggings before ripping a piece of it apart. 

“Y-Your answer?” you breathe.

“Kiss me,” he demands.

“That’s not an answer,” you laugh. You release a moan when you feel his finger twist and dip into the entrance of your pussy, slotting knuckle deep. “Tae –”

“Wes,” he whispers as he leans up. With a growl, he snakes his arm around your hips and pulls you closer to him. Taehyung nudges his face in the nook of your neck, breathing heat against your skin while he deeply chuckles. “Fuck this game,” he speaks against your neck, leaving a sensual kiss against it. The whine that escapes your lips from feeling his teeth lightly dragging along your sweet spot fills the empty room. It’s louder than anything playing on the television behind you.

Taehyung pulls you in a humping-motion against his hand that’s lodged between your thighs. He flicks against the walls of the inside of your pussy, searching for your sensitive areas.

You drop your prop as you frantically pull up Taehyung’s t-shirt, hauling it over his head to undress him as fast as possible. You curl your fingernails against his shoulders as Taehyung nibbles your skin, causing goosebumps to rise and fall.

Despite every rational part of your brain reminding you that your game is at stake, you couldn’t care less with the result anymore. You and Taehyung had your fun, even though it was brief, and now you’re ready to get down to business.

His skin is warm against yours as you push him down with you following. You rip off your mask, tossing the pathetic item to the side and appreciate a nice cool breeze of fresh air hitting your face. Sweat dampens around your hairline as your lips connect to his. You rush to remove the fabric around his eyes, using your fingers to rake along the roots of his hair.

You rock back and forth on his finger, begging for him to enter another one. Taehyung follows your lead in the make-out, tongue chasing yours as you dive deeper inside of his mouth. You groan in unison, smiling as your teeth clink with how eager the two of you are.

“You’re so hot,” he comments in between breathless kisses.

Between the sensations of his deft finger, how hungrily he eats at your mouth, and how smooth and naked he feels against you already, you feel like you’ve entered heaven.

“Oh, Tae,” you hum. Your breath comes out labored, electrified.

Briskly, you reach down between your bodies and slip your hand around the elastic of his night shorts. Your movements are quick and frenzied as you grip onto his length, feeling the heavy girth bare. Taehyung voices a choked moan, surprised with the sudden touch. Your wrist flicks as much as it can in your compromising position, enough to run your palm up and down his cock.

You feel the heat racing to your face as Taehyung slides a second finger inside of you, rubbing in a come-hither gesture. Your head nearly falls down against his shoulder as you attempt to not lose control of your body, but the feeling is so toe-curling good!

With desire, you look up through half-lidded eyes. Lust fuels your entire body, you can tell it affects Taehyung too.

“I want you in me,” you speak with kiss ridden lips. “Fuck me like this, babe.”

Taehyung wastes no time shimmying his shorts down far enough to release his cock between the two of you. His chest heaves with each shallow breath he takes. A hand comes around to playfully slap and hungrily massage at the flesh of your ass as he hoists you higher and angles himself below you.

“Move up for me, baby.” He turns his head toward you, a smile laced on his lips. Without another word, he leans forward and captures your lips in a bruising kiss while his hand rips at the thin thong that you wear. You can hear the tear audibly, but somehow it turns you on knowing how the desire within Taehyung is taking over. “Let me fuck you in this pretty little Ghostface outfit.”

You lean up for him, biting down on your lower lip as you look at Taehyung clumsily shuffling himself under you. His eyes stare at your bare, dripping pussy. Likes the way it shines with your wetness.

“That’s right, come sit on me,” he beckons as his dick taps against your pelvis. “See how sharp my weapon is,” he jokes in a sexy manner.

Cracking up with laughter, you lift enough to feel him at your entrance. His bulbous mushroom head feels so nice and smooth, ready to glide right in.

Your hand comes out to grip around Taehyung’s throat, a surprise for both you and him. Yet something in the back of your mind tells you that this is good. Something he may enjoy with your power-play move tonight. Slowly, and only lightly, do you squeeze around the column of his neck, raising your eyebrows as you anticipate his sign of protest.

You take him in with one movement, hissing at the sensation the moment you sit flat on his lap. He fills you full, your cunt thanks you with vibrating pulses around him. Allowing a few moments and testing thrusts to go by, you adjust accordingly. Until you’re ready to go faster.

Harder.

Every bounce has his dick reaching deeper inside of you, opening you wider and dragging against every inch of your velvety walls. You search for his eyes when you tighten your grip around his neck, but you see nothing but pure enjoyment on his face. Taehyung moans as his hands help lead you with each swivel of your hips. His mouth is parted, eyes fluttering shut with exhilaration shooting through his nerves.

“Shit,” he seethes through his teeth. “Baby slow down, I'm going to cum.”

But you don’t listen to his plea. You want him to cum. Bust his nut and lose control because of you. So you set yourself, pushing harder down onto his cock and riding your boyfriend for all he’s worth. Even selfishly rutting your clit into his pelvic bone to get yourself off.

You notice the way Taehyung’s eyebrows downturn with a spike of fury. “Baby,” he warns as his voice gets cut off from you moving the hand on his neck to his mouth. You cover his lips, hushing him from putting up a fight.

Though, Taehyung does not take a liking to that.

Within a snap of a finger, Taehyung hoists his body up enough to gain an advantage on you. He twists around fast, pushing you to the side as he slips out of your grasp. Taehyung’s hands move you around, holding you with your chest against the mattress as your ass stays up.

“Tae, wait!” you laugh and beg. You try to wiggle out of the position, but he pins you down by your arms. “I want to make you cum!”

“Oh, trust me,” he huffs. “You and only you will make me cum.”

Taehyung takes a handful of your ass before spreading your cheeks open. He stands behind you before inserting himself, sliding his cock in from a brand new angle.

You groan out loud, pulling your legs together. The mattress’s sheets ball in your fists as Taehyung thrusts inside of you at a steady pace. Your body shifts up on the bed, but keeps getting dragged back down against Taehyung’s lap. He’s amazed how fast you fall apart with your whole body tensing against him.

The small moans you try to hide are highly cherished by him. Fuels Taehyung to keep pressing forward and pile-drive his cock into you.

“Oh fuck, fuck!” You curse with your face pressed down. You purposely muffle your noises to not disturb the neighboring guests in the other rooms. The phone is still unplugged so at least you won’t be receiving any noise complaints through there.

You encourage Taehyung with the higher moans. It tells him to fill you up, go harder and faster all at once. His cock starts to twitch as he draws near to his release, ready to burst his entire load all because of you.

“Do it with me,” he demands as his cock dives deeper into you. His pelvis slaps hard against your backside, hoping to force you to your orgasm. “I can feel you tightening up, baby. Cum for me. Show me how this slutty Ghostface cums.”

You turn your head to the side to gasp for fresh air. Through your lashes it’s not hard to tell that the camera is still on the two of you, now performing a surprise sex-tape. The thought crosses your mind and it makes you curious if Taehyung has noticed as well.

“Babe,” you whine with the pressure of his dick inside of you, “Babe the camera?”

You can hear the smile in his chuckle when he reaches for the recording device. Taehyung still maintains his pace while now capturing a new view. From the back, the screen records your entire backside and how his lengthy cock slithers in and out of your folds. Your black lingerie compliments you so beautifully, Taehyung never wants to forget about it.

The slapping from skin on skin resounds so loudly, almost covering the noise from the television. It only quickens when Taehyung sets into another drive.

He calls you by your pet name, grinning as you mewl over the size and speed of his cock. He compliments you through the camera while one hand holds you tight by the hip.

“Touch yourself,” he commands. “Reach down there and play with yourself.”

You obey, slithering your fingers between your legs and begin rubbing circles against your swollen clit. Your teeth bite a mouthful of the sheets below you as Taehyung fastens his pace, matching the eagerness of your digits.

“Mmf!” you groan as a build up inside you finally shatters. Cracking like a whip against your nerves and shooting sparks of pleasure throughout you. Your back arches harshly, almost knocking Taehyung off his balance as you press back into him. Cunt so eager to get fucked.

The camera drops to the side of the bed as your boyfriend firmly places his other hand around your thigh, anchoring himself to your body as you ride out your orgasm. He holds you against him, dick submerged as deep as he can go as he stills. Shifting his hips ever so slightly as his cock quivers as cum spurts out the tip, dressing your cervix and inner walls.

“Mm, yeah,” he voices with a slack jaw. His hips continue to roll into you slowly, pushing every ounce of cum into your pussy. “I wasn’t risking dirtying the outfit,” he huffs.

You continue to wiggle with the aftermath vibrations throughout your body, but you giggle nonetheless. Craning your head enough to look back at your handsome boyfriend you smile brightly.

“How kind of you,” you speak in sarcasm. “I’m sure that wasn’t the only reason why you want to cum inside of me.” You clench down on his lodged cock to tease him again, watching the way his face suddenly contorts to a painful, sensitive reaction.

“I thank you for taking birth control, for not just sexy time, but…” he anxiously confesses. “Actually, no. Right now, I really thank you for taking it.”

“I know what you were trying to say,” you comment lightheartedly. “It helps with more than just ‘sexy time’.”

“I love you,” he states to clear the air. “I really do,” he playfully pulls at a garter belt connected to your stocking and corset. It snaps back in place against your skin, “You’re my favorite person in the world.”

“I love you too,” you smile as you prop yourself up by your elbows. “And Happy Anniversary!”

Taehyung lifts the disposed Ghostface mask off the floor after he detaches himself from you. He inspects the item, flipping it back and forth. He smiles, giving you a quick eyebrow raise and sparkling look.

“My turn?” He questions as he pulls the mask over his head and allows it to sit on his face. “Let’s play some more games, baby.”

You slip on a nice early fall dress that pairs with your brown booties. The jean jacket you want to wear lounges on the back of the chair beside you, waiting to be picked up once you finish tightening a belt around your waist.

A small lingering ache rests between your legs from the previous night. Taehyung surely had fun with you. You wince when he comes out of the bathroom from his shower, noticing the bruise on the side of his forehead that has formed a small grotesque spot.

“I’m sorry again,” you inspect lightly. Stopping him in his tracks, your finger touches the bump. “It doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would though.”

“It’s alright, it’s my fault for having my head too close to yours when I tried to… you know.”

You shrug, “Yeah. Might need to give a girl a warning before touching her asshole.”

Your lips softly peck the swollen spot on his head before you allow him to continue to his clothes. Mentally, you check off all the items you have already packed back up in your bags in preparation of departure.

The television plays the local news aimlessly in the background as you scroll through your phone. You can barely hear from how low the volume is, but an alert blurts on the screen in bold red lettering.

“Breaking News! –”

“Baby, can you pull up the directions for Fairvale? The Bates Motel shouldn’t be too far from here,” your gruff voiced boyfriend askes.

You blink, trying to listen to both the conversations. “Sure. Did you gather everything from the bathroom?”

Taehyung slips his pants up his legs as a toothbrush is lodged in his mouth. Multitasking at its finest. He brushes his teeth as he dresses himself, pulling over his shirt section by section. He grunts a noise, one you know well that means he already finished putting everything together.

“Murdered! Several bodies have been found! Adding to the Woodsboro mystery of horrors. This once peaceful, now suffering community, continues to be terrorized and haunted by masked killings. Like out of some plot of a horror movie.”

Both you and Taehyung freeze at the commentary coming from the television in the corner of the hotel room. Stunned, you watch the news reporter stand in front of what seems to be the Macher’s house. Which is now turned into a funhouse for visiting horror-enthusiasts.

“No fuckin’ way…” Taehyung murmurs as he watches ideally as the images begin to show. Caution tape, police cars, and ambulances surround the reporter who holds their microphone to their mouth. “No way this shit is real.”

“We… we were there last night…” you trail off.

“Just after midnight, a masked killer wreaked havoc through an attraction site for –”

“Do you think…” Taehyung begins to speak.

“... I don’t want to think,” you stand up abruptly. “I just… Can we go?”

You glance at Taehyung nervously, but you’re already gripping your jacket and sliding it on your arms. Something spikes deep inside of you, something that shocks you. Maybe Woodsboro isn’t the best place for you to be, even though you once thought everything would be fine. Searching for your purse, you lift all of your bags in one heave.

“Hey, hey!” Taehyung tries to calm you down with a softer tone. “Hey, listen. Just wait for a second!” 

His hand grips you by your elbow, pulling you gently back toward him.

Taehyung’s hands find their way around your body, touching your face in a caressing kind of way. His thumb runs over the curve of your cheek while he looks into your frantic eyes.

“It’s ok to feel freaked out. This is freaking me out as well,” he comments. “Don’t go running so fast. Stay with me, baby.” He tries to sooth your speeding thoughts. “We’ll leave together.”

Moodboard themed credited to: @/kth1 (me)

© All rights reserved under @kth1​ - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This TUMBLR and AO3 the ONLY places my fics are posted.

#welcome to woodsboro #bangtansorciere #bangtanarmynet #dailydaegu #thebtswritersclub #tae smut #taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #scream au #kth1 #bts one shot #taehyung one shot #kim taehyung smut #bts x reader #btsdreamcourt #bangtan cinema: horror night

[ljblueteak]

Article text: BEYONCÉ HAS SO many audacious culture-clash triumphs all over Cowboy Carter. But one of the most stunning moments is also one of the simplest: her version of the Beatles classic “Blackbird.” Paul McCartney wrote the song in the summer of 1968, inspired by the American civil rights movement. All that history is right there in Beyoncé’s version. She keeps the folkie Paul guitar, complete with the squeaks, but adds her heavenly gospel-soul harmonies. What she does with the word “arise” is incredible in itself.

It’s a stroke of Beyoncé’s revisionary genius that brings the story of “Blackbird” full circle. She claims the song as if Paul McCartney wrote it for her. Because, in so many ways, he did.

Paul tells the story of writing it in his 2021 book The Lyrics. “At the time in 1968 when I was writing ‘Blackbird,’” he recalls, “I was very conscious of the terrible racial tensions in the U.S. The year before, 1967, had been a particularly bad year, but 1968 was even worse. The song was written only a few weeks after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. That imagery of the broken wings and the sunken eyes and the general longing for freedom is very much of its moment.”

Paul wrote this song as a dialogue with Black America; Bey’s “Blackbird” is part of that call-and-response, proof that the song always meant exactly what McCartney hoped it would mean. It’s one of the most profound and powerful Beatles covers ever, right up there with Aretha Franklin’s “The Long and Winding Road.” 

“I had in mind a Black woman, rather than a bird,” Paul says of the song in the 1997 book Many Years From Now, by Barry Miles. “Those were the days of the civil rights movement, which all of us cared passionately about, so this was really a song from me to a Black woman, experiencing these problems in the States: ‘Let me encourage you to keep trying, to keep your faith, there is hope.’”

#beyonce #paul mccartney #rob sheffield #I love this cover #the American Requiem to Blackbird to 16 Carriages sequence is so good! #I also love Daughter #and My Rose and Bodyguard and Alligator Tears #and I’m not even done yet!

[zvaigzdelasas]

[The Hill is US Private Media]

Earlier this year, The Hill published an Op-Ed I wrote that was titled “Puerto Rico’s political status, an issue of national security.” In that piece I presented a series of events to stress and relate the political future of Puerto Rico, its importance to the U.S. national security needs and how foreign powers push their agenda through the pro-independence movement within the island.

This past June, the United Nations Decolonization Committee met to discuss the issue of Puerto Rico at the request of Cuba. That body also passed the 41st consecutive resolution asking for the island’s self-determination and independence, with complete disregard of the will of its residents, who are US citizens. I tried to set the record straight by submitting a written and oral statement but the representative of Cuba had other plans. My statement blew the Cuban representative’s mind that led to an interruption rampage. Somehow my statement[...] made him forget that he was not in Cuba and that the UN is a place where different points of view are supposed to come together in order to encourage a thorough discussion of the issues pressing the world. I can attest that this wasn’t one of the UN’s best moments. 

But what was he trying to hide? Simple, for the Cuban representative, the truth is inconvenient. Its ties with China and Russia are publicly known and widely reported. The Wall Street Journal, in June 20, 2023, wrote “Beijing Plans a New Training Facility in Cuba.” This is something that the Cuban representative did not want on the UN record. But why would China want to establish a military training facility in Cuba? Maybe for the same reason, the Chinese wanted to buy what used to be Roosevelt Roads Naval Station in Puerto Rico but couldn’t. [...]

In June 2023, Francisco Urdinez wrote for the [US industry thinktank] Wilson Center, “At the OAS, where China is an observer, an analysis by George Meek showed that between 1948 and 1974, the United States influenced 75 percent of the 297 roll-call votes. That influence has clearly diminished. Between 2001 and 2021, countries in which China has displaced the United States economically were 26 percentage points less likely to vote in alignment with Washington than other member states.” This clearly represents a shift in political power because of ill conceived policies that fail to recognize the importance of U.S. leadership in Latin America.[...]

It is important to remember that the involvement of foreign powers and interests in Latin America is not new. In 2011, the subcommittee on Counterterrorism and Intelligence of the U.S. House of Representatives held a hearing on Hezbollah in Latin America — Implications on U.S. Homeland Security, and received the testimony of Ambassador Roger F. Noriega, former US Ambassador to the Organization of American States (OEA) and stated, “Hugo Chaves hosted a terror summit of senior leaders of Hamas (supreme leader “Khaled Meshal), Hezbollah (unnamed “chief operations”), and Palestinian Islamic Jihad (Secretary General Ramadan Abdullah Mohammad Shallah) in Caracas on August 22, 2010. That extraordinary meeting was organized at the suggestion of Iran,… In addition to the summit, operatives from other countries gathered in Caracas to meet with these terrorist chieftains.”

These are but a few indications that Puerto Rico’s political status may have a significant impact on U.S. security and foreign policy interests. The island’s current political status is not sustainable and when it comes to an end there will be only two options: it either becomes a state, thereby ensuring a strategic U.S. presence at the crossroads of the Americas, or it becomes a sovereign country which would be tantamount to ceding the island to our adversaries. The longer Congress takes to act on Puerto Rico’s political status, the greater the likelihood of the latter outcome.[...]

[The Author] José Enrique Meléndez-Ortiz, Esq., LLM., is representative at large in Puerto Rico’s House of Representatives.

"Puerto Rican Independence is a Russian-Chinese-Iranian Plot" now a mainstream narrative being pushed among self described progressive media by sitting politicians [22 Oct 23]

[lovelytsunoda]

hot n cold // esteban ocon

summary: two years of drama, adrenaline and a doomed friends-with-benefits relationship with esteban ocon are shaping up to be the death of olympic archer y/n szafnauer as she finds herself off the archery circuit with a wrist sprain. the relationship wasn't supposed to mean anything. until y/n szaufner wishes that it would, wishes that esteban would just tell her how he really feels.

pairing: esteban ocon x female szafnauer!reader

warnings: a few small smut scenes. miscommunication and pining. fernando, daniil and oscar being done with everybody's bullshit. pregnancy scare is integral to the plot. slight lawrence stroll jumpscare. existential crisis as y/n worries about her future and the teenage years she feels like she never had, a little bit of toxicity on either end of the relationship. jack and oscar being loveable dipshits, fernando being a disappointed father. otmar being the really disappointed father.

2021 Season

she appeared in the paddock in a flurry of skinny jeans, heeled sandals and and a cropped camp shirt in british racing green, open over her black, lacy bralette. her eyes were hidden behind rose-gold sunglasses, a metal straw in between her lips as she sipped her caramel iced coffee.

esteban ocon and daniil kvyat were sitting outside the alpine hospitality suite, the reserve driver laughing as esteban's jaw dropped, his eyes following the woman as she stopped to talk to laurent rossi, the team principal.

"close your mouth, ocon." daniil laughed. "you'll catch flies."

"who is that?" esteban asked, nodding in the woman's direction. "she's beautiful."

"that's y/n szafnauer, otmar's daughter. she was on america's olympic archery team."

"i didn't realize that otmar had a daughter. he's not that old, is he?"

daniil shrugged, thinking about the aston martin team principal. "he's pushing sixty, i thought."

"how old is the daughter?" esteban asked, reaching for his phone to punch her name into the search bar. "quick question: how do you spell szafnauer?"

the reserve driver sighed, knowing exactly where his colleague's mind was going. "esteban, that is not a road that you want to go down, comrade."

"but look at her, mate. she's so hot."

he glanced at the screen, reading the first headline that appeared underneath the google box with her name, accolades and birth date: szafnauer to miss milwaukee open following vegas wrist injury.

"esteban ocon, if you know what is good for you, you will not flirt with otmar's daughter. promise me."

esteban rolled his eyes as he made the promise with daniil.

a promise that the fully intended to break. because y/n szafnauer had him under her spell, and they hadn't even had a full conversation yet.

on the other end of the paddock, y/n was walking up the steps of the aston martin hospitality, giving lawrence stroll a hug as she tried to find her father.

"lawrence, have you seen dad?"

the team owner laughed, gesturing to the offices in the back of the building. "he's in a meeting with the engineers, but he should be done in under half an hour. how's the off season?"

she shrugged, thinking about the bow and arrow at the back of her closet. the way her fingers itched to be back around the slender body of an arrow. lawrence didn't miss the way that her pointer finger nervously tapped the side of her plastic starbucks cup.

"you know how it is. there's not really an off season for us like there is for you guys. always looking to the future."

"well, i wish you the best of luck, y/n."

"you too, lawrence." she nodded, slowly backing away, as she would have felt awkward being the first to exit the conversation with the stroll patriarch.

she waled through the brightly-lit hospitality building, the sun reflecting off the bright white walls as she knocked on the door to her father's office.

"hey kiddo." otmar szafnauer smiled, glancing up from his laptop. "how's the wrist?"

"still sprained. i don't know if i'm going to be able to get back on the circuit this year." she admitted sadly, slumping don in one of the chairs opposite her father's desk. "i don't know what to do, dad. i don't know who i am without archery."

"you could always travel with us for a little bit." otmar suggested, thinking about the girl across from him, remembering when she was just a twelve year old who picked up a bow and arrow at summer camp and never looked back. he remembered standing there at the olympic medal ceremony, watching his daughter stand on the podium with a large bouquet of flowers and a gold medal around her neck, and he wished that he didn't have to see her look so defeated.

y/n snorted. "yeah right. the doctors said i was supposed to relax. what part of this lifestyle is realxing? i'm surprised you haven't had a heart attack yet."

"knock on wood, young lady." otmar said jokingly, rapping his knuckles on the surface of his desk. "a change of scenery might do you some good. all the guys love having you around. you just need to find a way back to yourself, darling. you need to find the y/n that you are when you don't have a bow in your hand."

"and what if she died when i was sixteen, dad?"

"and what if she didn't?"

y/n laughed, knowing exactly what her father was doing. "come on, dad. i'll stay for two weeks, until my next follow up appointment, if that will make you happy." she nodded her head back towards the door. "have you told lawrence that you're thinking of leaving yet."

otmar shook his head, casting a sad look at his daughter. "i don't want to tell him until anything is certain."

later that night, after the qualifying session, the teams went out drinking. the bar was buzzing with energy with the two ferrari drivers singing 'don't go breaking my heart' by the jukebox in the corner, arms around shoulders and beer bottles held up high.

y/n sat at the edge of the booth, keeping distance between herself and the crew members. she was wearing a tight cotton sheath dress, white with blue flowers on the fabric. she had taken her wrist brace off before she left the hotel, and she was already starting to regret it.

she needed to be able to get back out there before the year was over if she wanted any chance of the big-shots in 2022.

with a sigh, she grabbed her purse and made her way back up the bar, craving something stronger than the club soda she had just finished. she had promised her father that she would be on her best behavior that evening, but if charles and carlos were allowed to get as drunk as they were, there should be no reason why she wasn't allowed to have a drink or two.

esteban ocon had been watching her from the alpine table. when he saw her go to the bar, he moved to meet her there. he had been waiting the entire day to make his move, against daniil's better judgement.

"dude, what is wrong with you?" the russian hissed, grabbing esteban's arm. across the table, fernando alsonso raised his eyebrows.

"i feel like there's a story here." the spaniard said with a grin, taking a sip of his whiskey.

"esteban here has a little crush on y/n szafnauer."

"no." fernando said sharply. not in surprise, not in question, as a definitive. "she's so far out of you league, don't even waste your time."

"thanks for the support." esteban huffed. "from both of you. now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go and work my french charm and buy her a strong drink."

"if you say so." fernando grinned, looking forward to watching his younger teammate crash and burn.

so imagine how surprised both of the remaining alpine drivers were when, an hour later, y/n and esteban could be spotted quietly slipping out of the front door, giggling together as they made their way to esteban's car.

the night ended with esteban's head in between her thighs, his tongue and his fingers stretching her out before her flipped her over on the bed, taking her from behind until they were both spent.

"mon dieux." esteban cursed, thrusting his cock into her deeply as she moaned underneath him. "you feel so good, mon ange. such a good girl for me, taking my cock so nicely."

"oh, esteban! yes, yes, god."

and that was how it started. one night turned into two, turned into three and suddenly neither of them knew what it was, finding their way back to each other every time. three races go by, and y/n finally gets the all-clear from her doctors to return to the professional circuit.

and she didn't realize the void that leaving the track would leave in her heart. not just because she missed her father, but because her bed was back to being empty every night, esteban's lanky body not next to hers any more.

instead of nights filled with riveting sex, french dirty talk, and talking about hopes and dreams for the future with their limbs tangled together under cotton sheets, she was finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep, even after coming home from long training sessions with aching arms and sore feet, dropping her quiver and immediatley falling into bed just to stare at the off-white ceiling.

she had no idea that esteban felt the same, unable to get her off his mind, unable to find that same sense of calm in someone else that he found in y/n szafnauer. other girls wouldn't do it for him any more, but god did he try everything in distraction. instead, every hookup just left him feeling dirty and unsatisfied.

but there were never labels on what they had, no procedure on if they were supposed to miss each other or not. they were nothing but friends who occasionally (or more often than that) slept together, right?

so it would be strange for esteban to call her up and ask to come see her at the next invitational, right? well, the right opportunity fell right into his lap when lance mentioned how otmar had given his father tickets to go and see y/n's invitational in japan and that lance and chloe would be going, as chloe was a close friend of y/n's. as it stood, there was one ticket left, and it would either be going to esteban or mick.

but of course, like most men, esteban ocon thinks with his dick, and the one thing that his cock wanted more than anything in that moment was to be back inside the archer.

two weeks later, he found himself in japan, in the outdoor archer stadium, his eyes scanning the field from the vip box to see y/n in her lavender under armour polo and those tight little navy leggings, hair pulled back in the way that he always held it as she sucked him off.

y/n crossed the pitch to her target, pulling out the handful of arrows that she had been working with that morning. it was her third major invitational back after medical leave, and she felt. . .off. at this point, she wasn't sure if it was because she was falling in love with esteban ocon or if it had something to do with her wrist again. she couldn't afford to have another injury. she was already twenty-five, which is a death sentence for an athlete.

she held the metal arrows in her hand as she turned to walk back to the white chalk line all archers fired from, and that's when she saw him in the crowd, with lance and chloe. it was impossible not to see him, his lanky figure towering over everybody else.

her breath caught in her throat, her heart beating faster as she remembered what they had done the last time they were together.

as the competition started, she had to force herself to keep her cool, to breathe normally as she notched an arrow, lining up the shot with the target. pretending that esteban's eyes weren't glued to her as she let the arrow fly, grinning to herself as she landed a perfect bullseye.

she took home silver that day, and all she could think about was how she wished her father had bothered to show up. otmar was currently in england, finalizing the last little contract details that would cement his switch from aston martin to wherever the fuck else, but the romanian had promised to attend the next grand slam.

instead, she was stuck with the strolls and the one man she wanted to see the most, even though they'd been terrible to each other over the last year.

victory didn't feel the way that it used to.

as she stepped of the podium, she just felt empty as she thought about everything that she had given up to get there. chloe stroll was really the only friend that she had left outside of the sport.

"great job, babes!" the canadian laughed, pulling y/n in for a hug before giving her a massive bouquet of flowers. "i know your dad is proud of you. we sure as hell all are."

"thanks, chloe." she put on a brave face, smiling at the singer before shaking hands with lance, and then coming face to face with him. "hey." she said softly, hesitant to meet esteban's gaze.

"hi." the frenchman sounded just as unsure as the archer did. "i'm really proud of you, y/n. you did incredible out there."

y/n smiled nervously, brushing some stray hairs out of her face. "thanks, esteban. seriously. i've missed you since i left the track."

"me too." the alpine driver said softly, reaching for her hand. she allowed him to bring her knuckles to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand that sent shockwaves through her skin.

that got her wondering: was he just being a gentleman, or did esteban truly feel the same way that she did?

at the afterparty that night, y/n had a lot of mingling to do, but she only wanted the attention of one person: esteban ocon. it was with the alpine driver in mind that she slected her dress: a cotton bodycon dress with a cutout in the top that showed off her cleavage, and a pair of plastic stiletto heels, her hair pulled back in a seductive yet prim bun at the back of her head.

she had hands to shake and sponsors to greet, and with a champagne flute in hand, she kept a look out with the corner of her eye for esteban. she found him, but what she saw when her eyes found his made her stomach churn.

esteban was talking to a tall blonde from australia, the one who had won bronze. the wannabe pageant queen. and clearly she had esteban's attention, with the frenchman laughing loudly at something the woman had said.

y/n didn't understand why her blood was boiling the way that it was. she and esteban weren't anything special, although his skills in the bedroom certainly were.

so why did she immediately grab her purse and walk out, hyperaware of the frenchman's gaze on her ass, which was barely covered by her dress.

somehow she knew that esteban would follow her outside, into the cool japanese night.

"i wasn't going to sleep with her, you know. you do not have to think that little of me, szafnauer."

y/n rolled her eyes, turning to look at him. "it's not my problem, ocon." the words almost hurt her to say. "we aren't anything. you can flirt with whomever you want."

esteban raised his eyebrows. "so why do you look so upset?"

"i'm not." she said lowly, stepping closer and running her fingers up the front of esteban's suit jacket. "i just thought that you were coming home with me tonight."

and so it went, the same old story. her dress ended up on the floor, a lacy thong thrown over a lampshade, a tie gently holding her wrists together behind her back, esteban's trousers on the floor.

a cycle they were doomed to repeat for as long as they were scared of admitting how they felt about each other.

"esteban?" she asked quietly, scared to break the spell as they lay side by side, the frenchman's nimble fingers twirling her hair around his pointer finger. "do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you weren't who you are?"

"what do you mean, mon tresor?" the driver hummed, dropping her hair.

"i mean that i've been in this life since i was sixteen. there's a lot of shit i missed out on. i never went to prom, never went on dates. in between school and archery, i didn't really have anything else. i reckon that i didn't even have too many proper, genuine friends either. because of who my dad was, they thought i could get them into races, you know? get them an in with the drivers."

esteban thought for a minute. "your twenty-sixth is coming up, isn't it? that would mean that your career lasted a solid decade. i see no reason why you can't retire, or at the very least take a step back. life is too short not to go for what you want."

what if what i want is you, esteban ocon?

"what if, right now, i just wanted you?"

the driver smirked, ducking underneath the covers so that his head was between her thighs. "then that's what you'll get, mon ange."

2022 Season

szafnauer to take a step back from the competitive circuit, focus on life after archery

finding life after archery was harder than y/n szafnauer thought. her father had left aston martin, and gone to alpine, where, low and behold, she would constantly run into esteban.

even when the french driver was the last person she wanted to see, because every time they saw each other, it ended the same way: with the two of them naked.

but with every night spent together, the lines blurred even further. more nights were spent having deep, meaningful conversations over a bottle of wine, or cuddling together on the hotel couch while esteban commentated on shitty french comedy films.

they were crossing lines left and right, terrified to admit it to themselves or each other.

she couldn't let this go any further, she thought to herself, slipping out of esteban's bed and gathering her clothes from the night before, hastily pulling a guess sweatshirt over her head, and the jeans that she'd bought because they were cheap and comfortable (from old navy, at that- the furthest thing from a brand name!). hopin gthe frenchman wouldn't wake, she pressed a kiss to esteban's forehead before quietly slipping out of the hotel room.

as she heard the door click shut, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, turning around to almost run directly into fernando alonso.

"y/n? isn't that esteban's room- oh." the spaniard was at a loss for words when he realized what exactly that meant. "so, you and esteban?"

y/n's eyes widened. "it's not what you think. okay, maybe it is! but you cannot tell my father. if my dad finds out, it doesn't end well for any of us?" she pleaded with the older man

"so you're making me an accomplice."

"exactly! so glad you understand, thanks fernando!" she shouted as she took off down the hallway, hoping that nobody else would notice.

but of course, ignorance couldn't be bliss forever. especially not when y/n szafnauer was standing outside the alpine motorhome after spending the whole morning hurling her guts out in a hotel toilet, staring down at the period tracker app on her phone.

your period is fourteen days late.

there was only one person that the father could be, one person that caused this. she didn't even want to think about telling her father. first things first, esteban needed to know, and then they both needed to find out if she really was pregnant.

holding her breath, she stepped into the motorhome with shaky hands, hoping that her father wasn't around, knowing that otmar would rain hell down on the team for the entire race weekend. he needed to keep his head in the game, as did the rest of the team personnel.

"hey y/n!" a voice called from the hospitality.

she turned around, meeting eyes with oscar piastri, the barely-contracted reserve driver. over the past year, y/n had heard all about her father's ill-advised lawsuit to keep the aussie with the team, and his unawareness at just how laughable his case even was.

anybody with a brain could have told otmar that he was going to lose the appeal.

"hey, oscar." she hoped that her voice wasn't shaky as she spoke to the young driver. "you haven't seen esteban this morning, by chance, have you? i know it's media day, but the pen was empty when i walked past."

oscar coughed, swallowing the last of his croissant. "i think he's in his driver's room. hey, so fernando told me something this morning-"

"thank you, oscar!" she cut him off, clapping him on the shoulder before she hurried down a hallway, hoping to avoid confronation with quite literally anybody else.

if fernando had told oscar, who else already knew?

"esteban?" she called out, knocking on the driver's room door. "esteban jean-jaques ocon! i need to talk to you!"

she was about to pound on the door again when it opened, giving way underneath her knuckles.

"y/n?" esteban raised his eyebrows "what are you doing here?"

"um, my dad works here, jackass." she was done being nice, shoving past esteban and taking a seat on his massage couch. "we need to talk."

"so you said. you know fernando saw you leave my hotel room this morning?"

"fernando is the least of our worries." she blurted out, showing esteban her phone screen. the frenchman cocked his head in confusion, and the former archer cut him off before he could ask what that meant. "i could be pregnant, esteban. and we need to decided what to do from here."

"she might be what!" the unmistakable voice came from behind the door to the driver's room, panic setting in as esteban ripped the door open, causing two drivers to topple into the small space.

oscar piastri and jack doohan had been listening from the other side of the door, fernando alonso shaking his head at them from further up the hallway.

"this is what you cabrons get for eavesdropping."

the aussie junior drivers clumsily got up from the floor, hanging their heads in shame at being caught.

"is it true?" jack asked quietly. "is y/n pregnant."

"jack!" oscar scolded. "we are in enough trouble!"

"enough!" y/n shouted, shaking her head. "we don't know. i was hping just to have this conversation with esteban, seeing as how he's the only one it concerns. and now the entire goddamn team knows."

"sorry." oscar said, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. the rookie had decided it was better to keep his head down now that the court case had been settled and he'd be moving to mclaren the following season. "at least abbi doesn't know."

"don't make this worse for yourself, kid." fernando sighed. "let the adults talk."

"i am twenty-one years old!"

jack coughed. "actually, i sort of am still a kid."

"exactly. so mind your business."

esteban shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "they already know, fernando. if you send them away, they'll just blab. putain! none of this can get back to otmar, you guys hear me?"

"so what do we do from here?" y/n asked, head in her hands. it's not that she hadn't started thinking about settling down now that she was taking a break from archery, but she didn't expect it to be this soon.

she wanted to rediscover who she was first, and it was going to be hard to do that with a child on her hip.

"we keep oscar and jack somewhere where they won't gossip." fernando suggested. "since this entire mess is esteban's fault and i like watching him squirm, he gets to go out and buy the pregnancy tests. three different ones, each a different brand. cuts down on the chance of a false reading."

"why do i have to do it?" esteban gawked at the same time that jack asked "what do you know about pregnancy tests, old man?"

"i'm forty three years old and divorced, you do the math, kid." fernando said, quickly quieting the doohan boy, who promptly returned to staring at the ground. "esteban, you have to do it because y/n is already stressed enough. speaking of, y/n, do you want a coffee or something while esteban is out."

"yeah, actually." she said slowly, reaching fro esteban's hand for some kind of comfort.

he didn't reach back, his hand limp in hers. feeling like she had been punched in the gut, she dropped his hand, following fernando out into the hospitality suite for a much needed caffeinated drink.

"so..." the senior driver started, placing two fresh coffee's on the table. "you and esteban?"

"what about us?"

"is it serious?"

y/n snorted. "it's barely even a relationship. it's like we're drawn to each other, we fuck, and then we have these incredible conversations over a bottle of wine, and then it's like we don't even know each other."

"can we talk friend-of-esteban to friend-of-esteban?"

"that's not how this works, alonso."

"well, it's hardly man-to-man, is it? the cabron is head over heels in love with you, and he has been for two years. he's just a coward who won't admit how he actually feels about you."

she had suspected as much, and this conversation was confirming it for her. they were both as scared as the other: scared to rock the boat, scared to ruin what they already had with each other.

"what am i supposed to do, fernando?"

fernando gave her a knowing look, placing his hand over hers. "you tell him how you feel, and then you take the tests."

"but what if they're positive?"

"he'd be an asshole to run away, and i don't see that happening. i think that he would lay down his life for you, kiddo. give him some credit. not a lot, but some."

"and then i guess i have to tell my dad."

fernando gave her a pitiful glance, one that said everything that he couldn't. "can't help you there, y/n. that one's gotta be all you-"

"i'm back!' an out-of-breath esteban ocon proclaimed, appearing next to the table. "i got three different ones, each a different make, just like fernando said." he spoke fast, and he spoke nervously, backwards alpine ball-cap covering his disheveled hair. he'd done nothing but run his fingers over his scalp and regret every life choice he had ever made.

but especially not telling y/n he loved her.

"okay." she gulped. "let's get this show on the road."

all three sticks were locked at loaded, face up on the counter in the bathroom, a timer set on esteban's phone, all three sets of instructions nervously clutched in y/n's hand.

"y/n?" esteban asked quietly, reaching out for her free hand. "what are we doing? we can't go on like this."

"like what?"

"this. i can't do it anymore, because i think that i've fallen in love with you. no, i know that i've fallen in love with you and i've just been too scared to say it. fuck." he was out of breath despite not having said much, the anxiety eating away at his stomach. "i love you, y/n szafnauer."

"he said it!" oscar's shout could be heard for miles, and he continued yelling as esteban and y/n tried to get the young aussie to be quieter. "jack, mate, you owe me twenty quid!"

"fucking crikey, mate." jack whined. "fine, you win this one. but did the dumbass get her knocked up?"

"jack doohan!" y/n scolded. "why are you dumbasses still here?"

there was a creaking on the staricase next to them, followed by the voice of the person that everybody wanted to see the least.

"what on earth is this fucking yelling? some of us actually have work to do today!" otmar szafnauer shouted, freezing in his tracks when he saw his daughter, pregnancy test intructions clutched in one hand, the other held securely within the hand of otmar's second driver.

"dad," y/n started. "i promise you, it's not what it looks like."

"y/n y/m/n szafnauer, why are you holding pregnancy test instructions?"

oscar's eyes widened, and he turned to look at jack. "dude, does hospitality have popcorn?"

"no idea." jack shook his head. "i bet the other academy guys don't get to witness this shitshow every day. just wait until we tell them."

"you're both idiots." fernando huffed, knocking the two young aussies heads together. "this does not leave the motorhome, do you hear me?"

"dad-" y/n tried to reason before otmar cut her off.

"no buts, y/n! who have you been fucking all this time? was it oscar? daniil? because if it was that russian motherfucker, i swear to god i will find his address and hunt him for sport!"

"at least we know it wasn't me, mate." jack offered up, trying to lessen the tension in the motorhome. "because i'm not an adult yet, remember?"

"shut up jack!"

the f2 driver got the message loud and clear. "okay, shutting up."

"oh dear god?" otmar closed his eyes, hands in front of his face in the prayer position. "please tell me . . . tell me that it wasn't. . .it's not. . . fernando, is it?"

y/n physically recoiled, fighting the urge to gag. "christ, dad! who the fuck do you think i am?"

"i was just checking!"

"my standards may not be super high," fernando admitted. "but i would never fuck my boss' twenty-five year old daughter."

"i'm twenty-six, fernando."

"my mistake. sorry, kiddo."

otmar turned back to his daughter, something akin to disappointment hiding behind the initial betrayal in his eyes. "we used to tell each other everything, y/n. and now i find out that you've been seeing one of my drivers behind my back?"

the sadness in her father's eyes made y/n crack then and there. she missed how close she and her father had once been.

"it's esteban. we've been seeing each other for two years, dad."

"oh sweet jesus." otmar muttered, before he starting rambling in romanian under his breath. "esteban jean-jaques ocon, when this is all said and done, i need to see you in my office."

"i understand, sir." esteban nodded, moving his hand from y/n's so that he could put his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. "but believe me when i say that i am in love with your daughter, and i plan to do right by her."

"estie, we don't even know if there is a baby yet." she said softly, turning to look at him. "what are we supposed to do?"

"we try again. start completely from scratch, from square one, as if the past two years never happened. we go on proper dates, and i listen as you tell me your big plans for retirement." the frenchman said quietly, gently kissing her on the forehead. "je t'aime, y/n szafnauer."

"je t'aime, esteban ocon."

the timer on esteban's phone went off, and the driver looked over at otmar. "otmar? i think you should sit down for this."

"sit down? don't tell me to sit down, young man! you've been boning my daughter behind my back for two years, i don't think that you're really qualified to tell me anything-"

"otmar!" fernando interrupted. "i know that you're stressed out right now, but your daughter's future is written on three little plastic sticks. so sit your ass down and give the two of them some space to find out what to do next."

"i'm too young to be a grandfather."

oscar snorted. "dude, you're like, sixty."

"i am fifty-eight!"

"are you ready, mon tresor?" esteban said quietly, turning to face y/n.

she nodded, one hand wrapped around the cool metal of the bathroom door handle. "as ready as i'll ever be."

the two crammed themselves into the small bathroom, estie's arms around her waist and his lips agains thte side of her head as she closed her eyes, bracing herself for those little pink lines.

how crazy is it that the entire future of two people can be changed by a series of pink lines? everything different in an instant.

"i'm right here." the driver encouraged. "take your time, mon tresor."

slowly, and with shaky hands, she flipped over the first test, and then the second.

negative. negative again.

she drew in a breath, looking at the last test, the smiling baby on the white handle doing nothing to calm her nerves. she didn't even know if she knew what she wanted the test to say yet.

"i can't do it, esteban. i can't face the unknown."

she knew it was a shitty answer. she faced the unknown the second she announced that she was stepping away from her sport. faced the unknown the minute she got into esteban ocon's bed. the moment she had to deal with medical leave.

esteban placed his hand over her. "then we turn it over together. and i promise, whatever the answer is, we work through it together."

"okay."

on the count of three, they turned the test over together.

not pregnant.

shockingly, she found herself breathing a sigh of relief. and she could feel esteban relaxing behind her as she rested her head against his chest, mumbling to himself in french.

"now we have time to do the real relationship things. to fall in love with each other all over again." she turned to look at him. "let's do everything in the right order this time."

esteban laughed. "i'd like that very much." he smiled as he kissed her. "so, does this mean that children are on the table for the future?"

"is that something you want?"

"only with you."

y/n smiled. "then yes. but you'd better put a ring on it first."

esteban chuckled, kissing her again. "i think i can make that happen, mon ange."

#esteban ocon x reader #estie bestie #esteban ocon #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #lovelytsunodas katy perry series

[dandelionrevolution]

I’m not sure how reliably I’ll be able to keep up with it, but I’ve been wanting to start posting weekly or monthly Good News compilations, with a focus on ecology but also some health and human rights type stuff. I’ll try to keep the sources recent (like from within the last week or month, whichever it happens to be), but sometimes original dates are hard to find. Also, all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.

Anyway, here’s some good news from the first week of March!

1. Mexican Wolf Population Grows for Eighth Consecutive Year

““In total, 99 pups carefully selected for their genetic value have been placed in 40 wild dens since 2016, and some of these fosters have produced litters of their own. While recovery is in the future, examining the last decade of data certainly provides optimism that recovery will be achieved.””

2. “Remarkable achievement:” Victoria solar farm reaches full power ahead of schedule

“The 130MW Glenrowan solar farm in Victoria has knocked out another milestone, reaching full power and completing final grid connection testing just months after achieving first generation in late November.”

3. UTEP scientists capture first known photographs of tropical bird long thought lost

“The yellow-crested helmetshrike is a rare bird species endemic to Africa that had been listed as “lost” by the American Bird Conservancy when it hadn’t been seen in nearly two decades. Until now.”

4. France Protects Abortion as a 'Guaranteed Freedom' in Constitution

“[A]t a special congress in Versailles, France’s parliament voted by an overwhelming majority to add the freedom to have an abortion to the country’s constitution. Though abortion has been legal in France since 1975, the historic move aims to establish a safeguard in the face of global attacks on abortion access and sexual and reproductive health rights.”

5. [Fish & Wildlife] Service Approves Conservation Agreement for Six Aquatic Species in the Trinity River Basin

“Besides conserving the six species in the CCAA, activities implemented in this agreement will also improve the water quality and natural flows of rivers for the benefit of rural and urban communities dependent on these water sources.”

6. Reforestation offset the effects of global warming in the southeastern United States

“In America’s southeast, except for most of Florida and Virginia, “temperatures have flatlined, or even cooled,” due to reforestation, even as most of the world has grown warmer, reports The Guardian.”

7. Places across the U.S. are testing no-strings cash as part of the social safety net

“Cash aid without conditions was considered a radical idea before the pandemic. But early results from a program in Stockton, Calif., showed promise. Then interest exploded after it became clear how much COVID stimulus checks and emergency rental payments had helped people. The U.S. Census Bureau found that an expanded child tax credit cut child poverty in half.”

8. The Road to Recovery for the Florida Golden Aster: Why We Should Care

“After a five-year review conducted in 2009 recommended reclassifying the species to threatened, the Florida golden aster was proposed for removal from the Federal List of Endangered and Threatened Plants due to recovery in June 2021, indicating the threats to the species had been reduced or eliminated.”

9. A smart molecule beats the mutation behind most pancreatic cancer

“Researchers have designed a candidate drug that could help make pancreatic cancer, which is almost always fatal, a treatable, perhaps even curable, condition.”

10. Nurses’ union at Austin’s Ascension Seton Medical Center ratifies historic first contract

“The contract, which NNOC said in a news release was “overwhelmingly” voted through by the union, includes provisions the union believes will improve patient care and retention of nurses.”

This and future editions will also be going up on my new Ko-fi, where you can support my art and get doodled phone wallpapers! EDIT: Actually, I can't find any indication that curating links like this is allowed on Ko-fi, so to play it safe I'll stick to just posting here on Tumblr. BUT, you can still support me over on Ko-fi if you want to see my Good News compilations continue!

#hopepunk #good news #wolf #wolves #mexican wolf #conservation #solar #solar power #birds #abortion #healthcare #abortion rights #reproductive rights #reproductive health #fish and wildlife #turtles #alligator snapping turtle #snapping turtle #river #reforestation #global warming #climate change #climate solutions #poverty #social safety net #flowers #endangered species #cancer #science #union

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The REAL AI automation threat to workers

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

Long before the current wave of AI hype, we were being groomed for automation panics with misleading stories. Remember this one? "'Truck driver' is the most common job in America. Self-driving trucks are just around the corner. How can we prevent America's army of truckers from turning into a howling mob when the robots steal their jobs?"

https://futurism.com/millions-of-jobs-are-at-risk-but-their-loss-could-be-for-the-greater-good

It was absolute nonsense. First of all, "truck driver" isn't a particularly common job in America! The BLS lumps together all cargo vehicle drivers under a single classification. The category error here was thinking that every delivery van driver, furniture mover, and courier is behind the wheel of a big rig, cracking wise on a CB radio as they tear up the interstate.

But what about automation threats? It's possible that if we redesigned the interstates to give 16 wheelers their own separated lanes, and then set them to following one another, that they could traverse long distances in that way. Congratulations, you've just invented a shitty, failure-prone train.

"Shitty train AI" does not threaten the job of the vast number of people the BLS classifies as "truck drivers." For one thing, "shitty train AI" isn't going to pilot a UPS van around the streets of a busy city with other road users. Sure, a few robotaxi companies have bamboozled city governments into conscripting the city's residents into an uncontrolled murderbot experiment. These are not going well:

https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/9-key-leaders-depart-gms-cruise-amid-ongoing-investigation-into-san-francisco-incident/

More than $100b has been set on fire chasing the robotaxi dream, and the result is most charitably described as a technological curiosity, requiring 1.5 high-waged remote technicians to replace each low-waged driver:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

But even if we could perfect this technology, robots still wouldn't replace all those "truckers" who drive delivery vans (to say nothing of moving vans!). The hard part of driving a UPS van isn't just getting it from place to place – it's getting the parcel into the place. The robo-van would still need at least one person to get the parcel from the back of the van and into the reception desk, porch, or other delivery zone. It's not going to fire those parcels at your door with a catapult. It's also not going to deliver them by drones. Drone delivery is another one of those historical curiosities, capable of delivering a very narrow range of parcels, under even narrower circumstances:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#droned

If all UPS delivered was lightweight, non-fragile rectangular parcels ordered by people with large, unobstructed back yards, then sure. Congrats, you've just created the world's least-useful parcel delivery service!

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/06/amazon-drone-delivery-service-seeks-faa-approval-to-launch-in-2022/

All that said, the big rig drivers probably don't need to worry about robots stealing their jobs. It's not even clear that "shitty train" is within our technological grasp, but even if it is, there's yet another problem with the AI automation trucker jobpocalypse: "trucker" is already one of the worst jobs in America:

https://www.usatoday.com/pages/interactives/news/rigged-forced-into-debt-worked-past-exhaustion-left-with-nothing/

It's hard to overstate just how fucking terrible it is to be a trucker. Truckers are trapped in abusive debt holes by their employers – who misclassify their workforce as "contractors" in a bid to sidestep labor law. Shriven of any labor rights, truckers are forced into the most ghastly, body-destroying, family-wrcking, financially precarious existence imaginable.

You can drive a truck for years, give almost all of the money you earn back to your employer (who denies that you're their employee) to pay back the usurious loan for your truck. Then, your employer can underschedule for shifts so that you miss a loan payment, and they can repo your truck and keep the six-figure repayment you've already made to them, leaving you destitute.

They can force you to work for hours – days! – without pay while you wait for loading and dispatch. They can make you drive long past the point of safety, then, if (when) you get into a wreck, they can fine you for not taking the mandated rest breaks.

Now, these drivers aren't about to be replaced by AI – but that doesn't mean that AI won't affect their jobs. Commercial drivers are among the most heavily surveilled workers in the country. Amazon's drivers (whom Amazon misclassifies as subcontractors) have their eyeballs monitored by AI;

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

AIs monitor the voices of the (primarily Black, primarily female) workforce at Arise – homeworkers who field customer service calls for blue-chip companies like Carnival Cruises and Disney. They're listening for unruly children or pets in the background, and workers who fail to muffle these dependents lose the contracts they have to pay to train for:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/22/paperback-writer/#toothless

And AI monitors the conduct of workers on temp-work apps. If a worker is dispatched to a struck workplace and refuses to cross the picket-line, the AI boss fires you and blacklists you from future jobs for refusing to robo-scab:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork

Writing in The Guardian, Steven Greenhouse describes the AI-enabled workplace, where precarious, often misclassified workers are monitored, judged, and fined by algorithms:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/jan/07/artificial-intelligence-surveillance-workers

Whether it's the robot that gets you disciplined for sending an email with the word "union" in it or the robot that takes money out of your paycheck if you take a bathroom break, AI has come for the workplace with a vengeance.

Here's a supreme irony: nearly all of the beneficial applications for AI require that AI be used to help workers, not replace them, which is absolutely not how AI is used in the workplace. An AI that helps radiologists by giving them a second opinion might help them find tumors on x-rays, but that's a tool that reduces the number of scans a radiologist processes in a shift, by making them go back and reconsider the scans they've already processed:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

But AI's sales pitch is not "Buy an AI tool and increase your costs while increasing your accuracy." The pitch for AI is "buy and AI and save money by firing workers." Given how bad AIs are at replacing humans, this is a bad deal all around, both for the worker who loses their job and the customer who gets the substandard product the AI makes.

There is a very limited slice of applications where an AI could make a lot of money for a company that deploys it, without costing that company anything when the AI screws up. For example, AI is a really good tool for fraud! Rather than paying people to churn out millions of variations on a phishing email, you can get an AI to do it. If the AI writes a bad phishing email, it's OK, since nearly all recipients of even good phishing emails delete them. What's more, no one will fine you or publish an op-ed demanding that your board of directors fire you if you buy an incompetent AI to commit fraud. Fraud is a high-value, low-consequence environment for using AI.

Another one of those applications is managing precarious workers who don't have labor rights. If the AI unfairly docks your worker's wages, or forces them to work until they injure themselves or others, or decides that their eyeball movements justify firing them, those workers have no recourse. That's the whole point of pretending that your employees are contractors: so you can violate labor law with impunity!

But that's not the ironic part. The ironic part is that "being a shitty boss" is the one AI application that companies are willing to increase their net spending on. No one buys an eyeball-monitoring AI so they can fire a manager. This is the one place where AI is there to augment, rather than replace, an employee.

This makes AI-based bossware subtly different from other forms of Taylorism, the "scientific management" fad of the early 20th century that saw management consultants choreographing the postures and movements of workers to satisfy the aesthetic fetishes of their employers:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

The pseudoscientific cod-ergonomics of the 1900s was demeaning and even dangerous, but it wasn't automated, and if it increased worker output, this was incidental to the real purpose of making workers move like the machine-cogs their bosses reassured themselves they were:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

Every AI panic is a way of deflecting attention from the real, grimy, here-and-now ways that AI is destroying our lives by demanding that we entertain nonsensical science fiction claims about large, shiny existential risks that AI might present in the future.

The "X-risk" of the spicy autocomplete chatbot waking up and using its newfound sentience to turn us all into paperclips is nonsense. Adding words to the plausible sentence generator doesn't turn it into a superintelligence for the same reason that selectively breeding faster horses doesn't lead to locomotives:

https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/

But there is a way that AI could destroy the human race! The carbon footprint and water consumption associated with training and operating large-scale models are significant contributors to the climate emergency, which threatens the habitability of the only planet in the known universe capable of sustaining human life:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2023/04/14/ais-unsustainable-water-use-how-tech-giants-contribute-to-global-water-shortages/

Likewise, AI isn't going to replace you at work. But it's already augmenting your shitty boss's ability to rip you off, torment you, maim you and even kill you in order to eke out a few more basis points for the next shareholder report.

Science fiction is a fun and useful way to tell parables about our current technologies. But it's not a roadmap for the future. The fact that sf writers like me found AIs as useful measures to describe Earth's dominant artificial life form – the limited liability corporation – doesn't mean that superhuman AIs should – or can – be created.

Back the Kickstarter for the DRM-free audiobook of The Bezzle, read by Tumblr's own @wilwheaton!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #labor #ai #disciplinary technology #bossware #automation #robots stole my jerb #surveillance #privacy first

[haggishlyhagging]

Jan - Jun 2023 Reading List:

Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi. Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2017.

Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi. We Should All Be Feminists. New York: Vintage Books, 2014.

Bartky, Sandra Lee. Femininity and Domination: Studies in the Phenomenology of Oppression. New York: Routledge, 1990.

Bittel, Carla. Mary Putnam Jacobi & The Politics of Medicine in Nineteenth-Century America. Chapel Hill: The University of North Carolina Press, 2009.

Bolen, Jean Shinoda. Goddesses in Everywoman: A New Psychology of Women. Perennial Library, n.d.

Brownmiller, Susan. Femininity. New York: Open Road Media, 2013.

Chesler, Phyllis. Women and Madness. Chicago: Lawrence Hill Books, 2018.

Christ, Carol P., and Judith Plaskow. Womanspirit Rising: A Feminist Reader in Religion. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1979.

Daly, Mary. The Church and the Second Sex. New York: Harper Colophon Books, 1975.

Davis, Elizabeth Gould. The First Sex. New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1971.

Doyle, Sady. Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers. Brooklyn: Melville House Publishing, 2019.

Dworkin, Andrea. Intercourse. New York: Basic Books, 2007.

Ehrenreich, Barbara, and Deirdre English. For Her Own Good: 150 Years of the Experts’ Advice to Women. Garden City, NY: Anchor Press, 1978.

Firestone, Shulamith. The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1970.

Gowrinathan, Nimmi. Radicalizing Her: Why Women Choose Violence. Boston: Beacon Press, 2021.

Hawthorne, Susan. In Defence of Separatism. Mission Beach: Spinifex Press, 2019.

Jeffreys, Sheila. Anticlimax: A Feminist Perspective on the Sexual Revolution. Spinifex Press, 1990.

Jeffreys, Sheila. The Spinster and Her Enemies. Chicago: Spinifex Press, 1997.

Johnson, Sonia. Going Out of Our Minds: The Metaphysics of Liberation. Freedom: Crossing Press, 1987.

Johnson, Sonia. Wildfire Igniting the She/volution. Albuquerque: Wildfire Books, 1989.

Lerner, Gerda. The Creation of Patriarchy. New York: Oxford University Press, 1986.

Love Your Enemy? The Debate between Heterosexual Feminism and Political Lesbianism. London: Onlywomen Press, Ltd., 1981.

Miles, Rosalind. Who Cooked the Last Supper?: The Women's History of the World. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2001.

Reed, Evelyn. Woman’s Evolution: From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchal Family. New York: Pathfinder Press, 1975.

Sjöö, Monica, and Barbara Mor. The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering The Religion of the Earth. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2013.

Smith, Joan. Home Grown: How Domestic Violence Turns Men Into Terrorists. London: Riverrun, 2019.

Solanas, Valerie. SCUM Manifesto: With an Introduction by Vivian Gornick. London: Olympia Press, 1971.

Spender, Dale. Women of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them. London: Ark Paperbacks, 1983.

Srinivasan, Amia. The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2021.

Stone, Merlin. When God Was a Woman. San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1978.

Ussher, Jane. Women’s Madness: Misogyny or Mental Illness? Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press, 1992.

West, Lindy. The Witches are Coming. New York: Hachette Books, 2019.

#personal reading list

[dystini]

Indycar Driver Lore

Indycar Driver Lore Masterlist

Josef Nicolai Newgarden

His name was originally Joseph Edgar Newgarden but it was changed when he was 6

Birthdate: Dec. 22, 1990 Hometown: Nashville, Tennessee Residence: Nashville, Tennessee Height/Weight: 6’0/177lbs

Rookie Year: 2012

Team: Penske

Follow him on: Instagram Twitter YouTube

Career Stats

2012: Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing - 23rd Overall 2013: Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing - 14th Overall 2014: Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing - 13th Overall 2015: CFH Racing - 7th Overall 2016: Ed Carpenter Racing - 4th Overall 2017: Team Penske - 1st Overall 2018: Team Penske - 5th Overall 2019: Team Penske - 1st Overall 2020: Team Penske - 2nd Overall 2021: Team Penske - 2nd Overall 2022: Team Penske - 2nd Overall 2023: Team Penske - 5th Overall

Cohosted (as of 2024 on indefinite hiatus) fan-favorite behind-the-scenes video series Bus Bros with teammate Scott McLaughlin. Bus Bros Playlist

Behind-the-scenes race weekend videos. Admit1 playlist

SRX - 2022 Nashville, 2023 Motor Mile

IMSA 2023 - Tower Motorsports - Daytona 24 | Porsche Penske Motorsport – Petite Le Mans 2024 - Porsche Penske Motorsport – Daytona 24 win

-a versatile athlete, who appeared on a 2016 episode of “American Ninja Warrior” with other NTT Indycar Series drivers and has participated in the NFL Combine and the Indiana Pacers Slam Dunk contest. He played baseball and basketball before turning to racing. -Listens to R&B and dance/EDM and is a fan of Twenty One Pilots, The Weekend, Skrillex, and Diplo -Avid gamer; is a brand ambassador for Forza Motorsport and is featured in voiceovers for multiple versions of the game, including Forza Motorsport 7 -Is an outstanding ping pong player and hosts an annual celebrity ping pong tournament around the Music City Grand Prix. It serves as a fundraiser for SeriousFun Children’s Network -Enjoys rock climbing and most outdoor activities; an avid Forza player

-cannot resist chocolate chip cookies or brownies

-doesn't like heights

Iconic/memorable moments

The rainbow cake deep throat at 15:00 "I may just put this in my crotch." 11:55 (keep watching for shirtless, sweaty Josef) Pullups with chains around his neck 0:15 (plus other drivers working out and highlights) The infamous Milk Gimp Indy 500 ad (viewer discretion advised) Drivers of the Corn - starring: Simon Pagenaud & Josef Newgarden BUS BROS Episode 12: We Got You My Favorite Summer Salad! (Because the world needs Josef Newgarden squeezing the life out food to make a salad.) starting at 0:50 Josef and Sage Karam at the 2015(?) NFL Combine 2022 INSIDE THE RACE // JOSEF NEWGARDEN Josef Newgarden shares BBQ Turkey Burger recipe LET THERE BE MILK. IndyCar off-season training hits different. Indy 500 Champ Josef Newgarden Shows Us His Workout | Train Like | Men's Health Josef Newgarden and James Hinchcliffe Visit Space Camp 2023 Indy 500: Josef Newgarden Victory Celebration Speech Josef Newgarden relives 'the worst wreck I've ever had' at Texas | 'I Survived' | Motorsports on NBC Josef Newgarden, Scott McLaughlin are teammates, friends, competitors | Motorsports on NBC PLAYING THE NEWLYWED GAME WITH THE BUS BROS: SCOTT MCLAUGHLIN & JOSEF NEWGARDEN!!!! Josef Newgarden: Defending a Championship Google Search - Josef Newgarden IndyCar Chronicles with Josef Newgarden INDYCAR 101: Driver Fitness with Josef Newgarden Josef Newgarden and Simon Pagenaud | No. 1 Josef Newgarden III (Incognito 3) INDYCAR FANswers: Josef Newgarden INDYCAR Travels: Josef Newgarden in Milwaukee Josef Newgarden Undercover

The INDYCAR Off-Season with Marco Andretti, James Hinchcliffe, Josef Newgarden and Conor Daly IndyCar: Robin Miller with Josef Newgarden at Road America Driver Josef Newgarden Red Carpet Interview from the INDYCAR Championship Celebration Josef Newgarden | Christmas Movie Quotes Reddit Asks Josef Newgarden Anything! 2022 Edition Reddit Asks Me Anything! Part 1 Reddit Asks Me Anything! Part 2 Josef Newgarden goes INTO THE CROWD to celebrate his Indy 500 victory! James Hinchcliffe talks donuts, mac & cheese and chocolate with Josef Newgarden , Romain Grosjean Will Power and more. Josef Newgarden and Scott McLaughlin | Hot Seats with Hinch

2024 Cheating scandal Team Penske hit with penalties over Push to Pass use; O’Ward declared St. Petersburg winner How Team Penske took push-to-pass beyond the limit

Penske Perfect and Details Matter are two phrases often used in conjunction with the Penske organization. And when they can be used to dunk on Ferrucci, all the better.

Josef is a perfectionist. This is a combo of his highly competitive nature - which has been said about him from a young age - and the Penske Perfect motto which he has taken to heart. He is highly critical of himself - getting very down on himself if he makes a mistake and taking the blame for things not wholly under his control. But he tried to maintain a genial if slightly arrogant image in public. He slips sometimes - there have been a few angry Twitter interactions that he later apologized for and on occasion after a race, his temper will get the better of him and he'll say things he probably shouldn't.

He can be goofy as hell as seen on Bus Bros. Scott McLaughlin has brought this out of him since becoming teammates. Josef has said that Scott makes him feel more comfortable being his real self.

I would be remiss if I did not point out Josef's thighs. He is a specimen in general but those thighs should get special attention.

Fanfic Lore

Frequently paired with teammate Scott McLaughlin. As of 2024 there has been a cooling of their friendship as Josef pulls back to focus on racing/the championship.

Historically paired with Conor Daly. They raced together in karts and lower-series cars.

#indycar rpf #indycar #fanfic #driver lore #josef newgarden

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Josephine Harvey at HuffPost:

Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) complained on Fox News Thursday that American infrastructure is in disrepair. But as viewers pointed out, he was one of the Republican senators who voted against a massive bipartisan infrastructure bill that passed in 2021. “It just strikes me that more and more, nothing really works in America anymore,” Hawley told Fox News host Laura Ingraham. “I mean, our roads are falling apart, our bridges are falling down right in front of our eyes. Pieces of airplanes are falling out of the sky.”

“And yet, at the same time, the Congress of the United States and the president, what do they want to do? Spend hundreds of billions of dollars more on foreign wars,” he continued. He went on to complain that “things are falling apart all around us,” but all President Joe Biden wants to do is focus on “Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine.” Hawley was one of 30 Republican senators who voted against a $1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure bill in 2021, which contained money for upgrades to highways, bridges, airports and other major projects. The legislation, backed by President Joe Biden, passed with the support of 19 Republican senators and all Democrats. At the time, Hawley called it a “radical left woke politics bill.”

Appearing on Fox "News"'s The Ingraham Angle Thursday, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) complained about the state of American infrastructure while attacking Ukraine funding. In 2021, Hawley was one of the 30 Republicans who voted against the bipartisan Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act.

From the 04.18.2024 edition of FNC's The Ingraham Angle:

#Josh Hawley #Laura Ingraham #Infrastructure #FNC #The Ingraham Angle #GOP Hypocrisy #Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act #IIJA

[marveltrumpshate]

March 2024 MTH fills

The best way to see all the fills that have been shared with us is our monthly roundups tag or our #MTH-fills channel on our Discord, but you can also view them through the following methods:

Our Tumblr tags: 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023

Our AO3 collection (only has works posted to AO3; see "subcollections" for specific auction years)

Completed works tag list

To find specific content, use our completed works tag lists above which includes instructions on how to search for a particular character, gen or romantic relationship, universe, and fanwork type. 

SOLO CHARACTERS

Hobie Brown

@jacketpotatoo - Art of Hobie stitching together his Spider-Man outfit for @nostalgicatsea

Marc Spector

@newnewyorker93 - Felt beanbag Moon Knight sachet for @ruquas

GEN/PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS

Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov

MedeaV/@medeafive - "Winter at the beach" (Bucky & Nat fic where Bucky has a hard time adjusting to modern swimwear) for @puzzlebean

Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

@bulkyphrase - Wooden Captain America: The Winter Soldier alphabet block set for Maiasaura

Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark & Sam Wilson

swtalmnd/@amysnotdeadyet - "Feed" (Bucky & Sam & Steve & Tony gen AU fic (background Bucky/Tony) where Steve and Sam go grocery shopping and bring back what they bought to the tower) for @saganarojanaolt and newtypeshadow (MTH 2022)

Steve Rogers & Thor

happyaspie/@yes-i-am-happyaspie - Art of MCU Steve showing Thor his drawing while they have an ice cream break on the side of a road during their road trip for @marvakakittenwrites

SHIPS

Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo

Alistair Nightly - Podfic of "Five Alarm Neighbors," a Bucky/Zemo non-powered AU fic where Zemo wants to get the attention of firefighter neighbor Bucky by @six-demon-bag for Lady Gigi

Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Flowering Glass/@floweringglass - A set of Bucky/Steve/Tony-themed stained glass trinket boxes that can come together into one design for @tehroserose

Juulna/@juuls - Podfic of "One Date Wonder," a Bucky/Steve/Tony non-powered AU fic about Steve and Bucky helping out Tony, who's luckless at dating for @aquatigermice

Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

@amysnotdeadyet/swtalmnd - "Catalytic" (AU fic where Bucky and Tony make lasagna) for newtypeshadow and @saganarojanaolt (MTH 2022) - "Fuel" (AU fic where Bucky and Tony talk about cooking) for newtypeshadow and saganarojanaolt (MTH 2022)

snarkyship/@snarkyship-main - "A Marriage of Convenience" (Bucky/Tony arranged marriage and mistaken identity medieval/fantasy AU comic) (also on Tumblr) for @massivespacewren (MTH 2022)

Bucky Barnes/Loki

Lalaith Quetzalli/@lalaithquetzallicaresi - Cover/poster for "I Have a Heart," an MCU Bucky/Loki A/B/O AU fic by and for @marvakakittenwrites - Cover/poster for "Grief Stricken Souls," a Bucky/Loki A/B/O AU fic where the two meet at a bereavement support group by and for marvakakittenwrites

Clint Barton/Phil Coulson

ArielT and NickiB - "On the Grid" (MCU Clint/Coulson fic where Phil teaches Clint how to live on the grid) for @winter-angst

Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow

@ruquas - "The burdens I took to change the ones you have" (Brock Rumlow/Jack Rollins non-powered soulmate hurt/comfort AU fic) for @kalika999 (MTH 2022)

Loki/Tony Stark

Lalaith Quetzalli/@lalaithquetzallicaresi - Header/banner for "Best Laid Plans," a Loki/Tony A/B/O AU fic by and for marvakakittenwrites

Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson

Marvel_Kitten - "Too Late, Buddy!" (post-Daredevil S01E06 MCU Matt/Foggy fic where Foggy finds out about Matt's secret double life) for @kimmycup

@not-madder-red - "Cats And Bags" (dark Matt/Foggy AU fic where Foggy tries to prevent Matt, whom he thinks is an asshole, from dating Karen by catfishing Matt) for @missmoochy

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Juulna/@juuls - Podfic of "Here to Stay," a post-Endgame Steve/Tony fic where Steve stays at Tony's cabin by @avengersnewb for @ishipallthings

#monthly roundup #march 2024 #mth 2022 #mth 2023