#rereading some moments and im CACKLING

[moonliched]

I just wanna say I adore your fic so so much. Everything is so nice and entertaining. I certainly can't wait for the proper meeting of the complete fishy bois. Also you don't have to compare the assistant ai!! I love bon-bon so much that he's growing on me like algae/lh

I love how he just worries about Y/N when they just brush him off saying they're just another replaceable cog to this system. Like the way he goes.

"But you're a person."

Makes me think he's not really well versed in stuff and still learning and that's what makes him so cute and fascinating. Bonbon our only ally fr fr

ALSO MOON!!! HE'S SO ANXNJEJDJRJF I JUST WANNA SQUISH IM AND BITE HIM. SHAKE HIM LIKE A FERAL DOG W THEIR TOY.

A MENACE.

I still snicker at the misunderstandings like Y/N trying to run away and Moon just goes "Play? Play! FRIEND PLAY!!!"

He's like a cat batting at anything that moves SJXJJEJDJDNEKD

Can I ask what he was trying to do, throwing fish at Y/N? Like I initially thought it was like a thank you but HAHAHA I'm not so sure.

I cackled on the bit where "IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME" Junior researcher. PLS YOU LITERALLY LIKE EXPOSED EVERY DCA ENJOYER.

NOT THE REDACTED IM FUCKING SOBBING OVER IT.

Bonbon literally has the normal reaction and reader's like wdym haha

I wanna ask so many questions but I must be patient and wait for everything to unravel OWOENDKSNDJD

Honestly I got curious and went to tumblr to see some extra content and it didn't disappoint.

I didn't expect the scene where Bronii and Y/N sees Moon glowing to be so ethereal looking!!!

He's sk beautiful augh. NOT ONLY HIM BUT OUR VERY OWN Y/N

Y/N is very pretty and i love them sm. I love the banter between them and BonBon. I just can't help but laugh that the bunny was going to jab about their ancestors in their oceanic planet.

I absolutely adore your AU and will keep rereading it <333333

I sincerely hope you recover well and take your time to heal before attempting to do more <333333 Put yourself first <3 we can wait

sneef aheem heem🥺 this is such a nice message🥺😭😭💕

i'm ecstatic you like it!!!!! tbh BON-BON is growing on me so algae-like that i need to elevate other characters so he doesn't overtake them😅 i'm sure some ppl know how it is when a supporting character kinda starts to overshadow the mains accidentally. but instead of cutting him down, the others will rise instead. also you're right, BON-BON has confidence but he's not as well-versed in relationships and social knowledge as he presents himself. he's naive, a little. and he has a mental hierarchy of AI at the bottom, living beings at the top that's being challenged by how carelessly Y/N is being treated.

i ADORE writing Moon! so when he was throwing the fish at Y/N, he was mimicking their tactic of using food to lure him forward. kinda like how they were doing with the crabs in that moment. he wanted to form some kind of trust using food and make them come closer. at that point he had yet to see them without their mask, so to his knowledge other communication methods like speech weren't available.

heeheehoo i wanted him to look very dazzling during the hypnotism scene🥰😳 and i noticed with half of his face covered with the esca he looks more human?? which would help with luring humans bc it kinda obscures the uncanny valley aspect of his usual face shape. i love drawing all of them!

i hope to update the fic soon! recovery isn't going as planned, so i'll be sure to rest, but i've been looking forward to answering this since i saw it in my inbox☺️and i love getting Q's about my fic. thank sm for such a nice message!!💞✨💗✨🌼💖

#ask #sorry for the delay #There Are Many Benefits #fnaf mermaid au

[wrongcaitlyn]

thoughts on i can fix him (no really i can)

sorry this isn’t abt the fic i have no more questions but your responses are so great 😭

DONT APOLOGIZE AT ALL I LOVE LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT like i honestly get worried that i talk about her too much a lot bc irl im always told i need to know how to have conversations about things OTHER than her so like knowing that y'all wanna know my opinions on these things is actually the coolest thing ever and i love it <333

first of all, i LOVE the vibes of it. i choose to try not to think about the source material of these things (i've never been the hugest fans of connecting songs to the actual artist who wrote them, idk it just feels invasive) so the entire time i was thinking abt lucy gray baird/coriolanus bc of a post that rachel zegler made months ago for tom blyth's bday with a tee-shirt that said "I can fix him" like idk i just KNEW the song was gonna be snowbaird coded AND I WAS CORRECT

the vibes seemed so cowboy like me like i was genuinely surprised?? the whole thing seemed like it was very taken out of modern society, and like, fugitive au, and i was recently just reading this 1870s small town au (had just finished it like the day before ttpd i think) and so i was SO HERE FOR THAT KIND OF VIBE

overall i just loveeeed the imagery in these lyrics. it's one of those songs where the production just matches the content so well and taylor is truly incredible at that!!

one of my FAVORITE lyrics (most def my fav of the song, possibly one of my favorites of the album was

They shake their heads sayin', "God, help her" When I tell 'em he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger

idk why but the way she said it, the lyrics, the "good lord doesnt need to lift a finger" like GOD it just scratched an itch in my brain so perfectly (the entire album, i felt like she was singing it perfectly, there were so many little moments where i was just like GOD THIS WAS SUNG EXACTLY AS IT NEEDED TO BE SUNG)

just reread the lyrics for this bc i wanna make a worthy response (if y'all EVER want an opinion on ANY taylor swift song or any other artist i've mentioned before like PLEASE feel free lyrical analysis is my entire life)

and like

i seriously have to stop with au ideas

bc just the mention of texas has me thinking OMG FUGITIVE NICO X COWBOY WILL SOLACE AU and im like STFU BRAIN YOU ALREADY HAVE TOO MUCH YOU'RE WORKING ON but like i mean its TEXAS

The dopamine races through his brain On a six-lane Texas highway His hand so calloused from his pistol Softly traces hearts on my face

and the way it just ends so suddenly with "woah maybe i can't" is just😭😭i cackled at that it was hilarious

conclusion: i haven't really re-listened to it bc it wasn't one of those songs that stood out to me in the first listen (i've been listening to the album on loop since it came out bc im still trying to process all the songs, but there were definitely some that i repeated over and over again bc they were my favorite). i don't really like ratings because i feel like every song has so much potential, and i just haven't understood it yet? like, particularly with taylor songs, i actually didn't like the folklore or evermore albums when i first listened to them. then when i did again, they become two of my favorite albums holding some of my favorite songs. so all i can say right now is that it isn't one of my favorites off the album, but i do love certain aspects of it!

#wrongcaitlyn #wrongcaitlyn asks

[istherewifiinhell]

reading process: chapter 177 (I have been putting off this post cause i can tell im in the good shit and its all so thematic and delightful but if i dont make it now i never will and it will be a super segment next time)

Reading highlights (i cant read my own writing edition!)

157 now in a dad spotting mood. kdj encouraging sys about her grades

yoo mia(!!!) teasing yjh about kdj. yjh facial expression truther (looking happy when speaking about kdj)

the 3 fates use big data?

kdj WILL be killed by the person he loves most!!! (mostly wrote that down to indicate my gleeful cackling)

158 LGY baby boy baby. kids and breaks!

Kdj and Jhw are such bitches to each other i love them

reinheit.... von lohengramm yeah okay got it buddy

oh ur 800 years old it would be some bullshit like that

rvd is sooo handsome. at least 2 yjh

a permanent institution cannot exist. yes kdj i love u kdj

161 kdj doesnt date. fateful meetings ONLY. okayyyyy

jhw emotional sword moments. kdj famed peptalks

LGY: dad ABANDONED US LJH: uh. okay -> sibling mischief ensues

162 ACAB

Hankim girls trip weekend

(this note is atemporally placed) KIM DOKJA LOVE

164 the absolute good constellations are cowards

kdj peptalks Always come in clutch

165 oh to be carried by ysh as she descends like a beautiful woman

167 The kids!!! stay strong!

breaking the sky sword this was the road of the sword that broke the sky -> kuzcos poison

168 crying at this wounded monster and also themes and metaphors

yjh and kdj are the same with there cryptic plans (this was nearly illegible)

168 kdj moral rethinking disease (yjh has it)

AH! AH! Double identity stuff. name sharing. doing something nice for the guy that has scrambled your brains.

169 jhw describing ysh beauty -> smth you would like to share ma'am?

lgy the good child he is being like. hey. non het romance love exists. hell yeah little dude. poggers as they say

-> (crying because he cant think of a reason kdj should love him) NOOO his emotions are too big for his little body

yjh: i do not want to find out the answer to this question GOODBYE

ah. the speed run dress. i see

170 if you read it again. it will definitely be a different story. god. okay. okay. jesus. okay

hsy power: you cannot create the semblance of a human without it in some way. being human

ah. his mom again. it just could be that way

"its the most complicated relationship in the world" cheers bitch

172 just rolling in kdj and his mom fight

i could have sworn you used up that sky disk 100 chs ago but whatever

173 Gasp. garlic eating

"i let u die to save ur dick bro!!!"

20 years. jesus

OH FUCK MEET THE PARENT TIME. oh my god

yjh: kdj will be my compainion mom: arent you like a horrible person? Yjh: why is your family like this

double whose gonna kill our guy twist

175 yjh: i guess you mother doesnt like me. -> is that a JOKE. are you cracking a (gay tinged) joke to cope buddy?

176 "It was a distance that could be crossed, but I could never reach her. It was the same in prison and even now. this had become our distance"

guh. hes gonna listen. even if it hurts. even if it changes him

IM GOING TO ATTACK AND DETHRONE GOD

dohyuk moments against a backdrop of cthulu ass boss fight

kdj can look cool as hell when he wants to i guess damn

Cheok Jungyeong: Solidarity Forever 🎶

"i wont let you die" AHHHHHHHHH

rotating: oh god i specifically was trying to group this segment for parental vibes and themes and now my brain is mush. i need a second notebook maybe... (rereading a bit) okay something like. obviously. goes without saying. kdj is the most unreliable narrator in the world. and clearly there is more to the story, she was literally about to say it before... god stuff. but ill just note out the things i was grabbing so far. the question of how to raise a child in the apocalypse. clear with lgy and sys (like extra extremely so). and lesser with ljh. often kinda. throwing them into the fire. (or a hole. with no explanation. thanks yjh). but also supporting them (literally the incarnation stuff. cant remember where line about 'one persons gaze can mean live or death' but yes. yeah). contrast. kdj mom with the childhood environment and the tone. i think its like. kdj is almost mad about the wrong thing. but its the hurt he has. not the one he may about to have. even if hes wrong about what his mother did (i literally dont know!!) well. it has to be said.

oh also the mother constellation! theres a fun parallel there. i mean. this is of course the novel of fun parallels but still. its um. weird ctuhul twitch stream version of making a deal with the devil (in the pale moonlight -> star trek ep that also has a guy get a guy to kill someone for the good of a state. huh)

also there was dokkaebi preschool. that just seems worth mentioning. and even dokkaebi egg sys

#some shit #orv blogging #line of navel gazing to on theme of reading and transcribing my own notes on fool with interjections as if i didnt write them #even the author becomes a reader ehhhh??? #i never had a thesis but these parenthood thoughts made more sense this morning i swear. i had like. a trajectory #this is true delirious blogging im up way past bedtime #oh yeah and. reinheit. reinhartd. watch legends of galatic heroes. my command (long and involved military scifi anime) #(OLD! VERSION! not that new shit) #orv notebook

[aizawaorkuroo]

Seek the Light

Ship: Ukai Keishin x f!reader

Rated: Explicit

Word Count: 8.4K

Summary: Back home after losing your job, you wander into a convenience store not realizing you would see a familiar face.

Warnings: Young Ukai’s a bitch, Language, Biting, Vaginal Fingering, Size Kink (I know this man has a bick dick I know he does), Overstimulation, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Dom!Ukai

AN: first haikyuu fic haha and first time writing ukai so im still figuring it out! This one got away from me gsfda and the conflict resolved easily cause its my fic and i make the rules tgerfw

________________________

The dipping summer sun casts shadows across the buildings, while painting the clouds a pretty gold. Memories of childhood and youth flood into you, creating a fondness in your heart. Yes, Miyagi was nice. It would be nicer if you didn’t have to move back home after losing your job in Tokyo. You can tell yourself it’s temporary all you want, but it’s embarrassing. Failing is embarrassing.

You sigh, realizing you should probably head back home before it gets too dark. Despite the setting sun, the air has yet to cool off, and you find that your walk has left your throat parched. You glance around, smiling as you spot a convenience store. Nice.

You smile as the air conditioning hits your skin. You make a beeline for a bottled tea, already excited for the refreshing taste. You hum happily as your eyes tilt up to the man behind the register. His eyes are glued to an issue of something, and a cigarette dangles from his lips. Ukai Keishin.

You feel your heart stutter as you watch your best friend from high school read. His hair is long and blonde now, and it just makes sense. He’s handsome, you realize. You always thought he was cute in high school, but he’s a man now.

“No fucking way,” you breathe out, drawing the gaze of the man sitting behind the counter. His eyes widen, recognition clear as day in them.

“Y/N?” His voice is unusually quiet, and his eyes bore into yours, as if you would disappear again if he looked away. Guilt swells uncomfortably in your stomach. You hadn’t talked to him in years. You moved away, and you lost touch with your high school friends, including him. Especially him. He slowly stands to look at you, putting what he was reading down and shoving his cigarette into an ashtray.

Yes, you had been gone for awhile, and yes, the two of you hadn’t talked. But you were both here now, and a second chance has been given to you, wrapped up like a present in the form of a stunned employee at a convenience store.

“Ukai! I forgot this was your mom’s place!” you yell excitedly, rushing behind the counter to trap him in a tight hug. He huffs against you, tensing, before awkwardly wrapping his arms around you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His words stir something hot and sticky in you, and you push away from him, sheepishly smiling.

“I lost my job and couldn’t find another one in time, and uh, here I am.” Your nose scrunches up at the thought of your tiny, Tokyo apartment that you would never return to.

“No shit, huh? Are you back with your parents?” Your shoulders sag and you nod, pursing your lips.

“Yea, but what have you been up to?” you ask, eager to learn more about your old friend.

“Y’know, working here, hanging out with Shimada and Takinoue. I’ve also been coaching Karasuno’s volleyball team. They’ll sometimes stop by.”

“Oh that’s absolutely perfect,” you laugh. “My volleyball boys never grew up, huh?” He rolls his eyes at you, crossing his arms in feigned annoyance. You hold your hands up in peace, trying to suppress the giggle that’s bubbling in your chest.

“Well, you clearly grew up,” you offer, letting your eyes trail over him. His eyes widen again, and a faint blush covers his cheeks, so soft you almost don’t notice it. “But you’re still reading the same shit.” He lightly punches your arm, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Anyways, the four of us should get dinner sometime.” You cock your head to the side, trying to gauge his reaction. He snorts and rolls his eyes at you, but there’s a small smile on his face. That's promising, you muse to yourself.

“Yea, that sounds good. And I’m sure Shimada and Takinoue will say yes. I can text you when we’re able to.” He pauses, and his eyes drop to the ground. Your stomach twists into knots as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Is your number still the same?” It’s an innocent question, and yet you feel like the floor has dropped from beneath you, leaving you unbalanced.

“Uh, yeah,” you murmur, feeling guilty when he nods and presses his lips into a thin line.

“It was good seeing you, Y/N. I’ll text you.” You nod, slowly backing up to the door. You give him a small wave before pushing the door open, stepping back out into the warm air. Your body moves on autopilot while your brain goes into overdrive as you ponder how you can properly mend the bridge between you two.

It’s only when you’re halfway home that you realize you forgot your tea.

________________________

When Ukai texts you, you can’t help but to cringe at the past messages that were left unanswered. Random little texts, asking about your day, how’s Tokyo, updating you on everyone back home. You had meant to answer them, but you just couldn’t. You could pinpoint the moment you stopped answering his messages, and you shudder, remembering how harsh he had sounded over the phone. Not that you had been any kinder. After that night, his texts trickled in slower and slower, until they ended completely.

You inhale sharply, closing your eyes. But you’re back now, and he’s texting you again. You blink your eyes open, rereading his message.

Hey! How does Saturday at 8 work?

Taking a shaky breath you quickly type out a response that you hope isn’t too eager.

That sounds great! Is that one place with the great hiyashi chuka place still open?

The four of you used to eat there in the summertime, feasting on cold ramen and an assortment of toppings. Takinoue used to flirt with the waitress, who remained unimpressed throughout the years. You smile fondly at the memory, excited to see everyone again. Your phone vibrates, pulling you from your thoughts.

Yea and it’s still the only hiyashi chuka place in town

You hum at his message, thinking of how long the four of you used to wait while the summer sun blazed down, and sometimes Kimi would go with you. She had a massive crush on Shimada, one that left her helpless to your and Takinoue’s teasing. Your phone buzzes again, and you look down, slightly surprised at the second message.

I’m excited to see you again.

That was promising indeed.

And yet you can’t help the way butterflies terrorize your stomach as you stand outside the old restaurant. Part of you wants to turn around and walk home; another part of you wants to throw up. You inhale sharply, steeling yourself, and you walk through the door.

It’s just like you remember, and you feel more at ease. You know this place, and these are your friends. There was no reason to worry. But still…

Your eyes flash across the room, before zeroing in on your usual table. You grin widely at Takinoue who is waving you down. Shimada sits next to him, smiling softly as you approach. Immediately, Takinoue gives you a bear hug, making you giggle.

“It’s been way too long,” he whines before letting you go. Shimada rolls his eyes, offering you a small wave. You slip into the empty seat next to Ukai, greeting him quietly. He nods, a small smirk tugging at his lips. The nerves that had been eating away at you dissipate immediately. The conversation flows easy, as if you never left. And when the hiyashi chuka is brought out, your mouth waters just like it used to.

“I’m telling you, it’s not as good anywhere else,” you bemoan. Shimada laughs at that, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“I think that’s nostalgia talking.” You stick your tongue out before shoveling noodles back into your mouth. Ukai snorts, before taking a sip of his beer. Something warm and soft builds up in your heart, spilling out into your entire body.

Happily full of noodles, you settle back against your chair, trying to ignore the way Ukai’s arm rests against the back of your chair. His touch is feather light, but the warmth seeps into you. You missed this, you missed this, you missed him.

When the four of you are standing outside, you shift on your feet, not wanting to have to say goodbye again.

“We should get drinks sometime,” you say to no one in particular. Takinoue slings an arm over your shoulder and his grin is so wide that alone almost makes you laugh.

“Ah yeah! Now you’re talking, Y/N!”

“That is something we can all do together now,” Ukai mumbles, fishing out a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket.

“Then it’s settled,” you chirp happily, “We’ll meet up for drinks next weekend, if that’s okay with you guys.” Ukai’s eyebrows pinch together in thought, and he slowly nods.

“That should work.” You pull away from Takinoue, choosing to wrap an arm around Ukai’s waist, and pulling yourself flush against him.

“Perfect! It’ll be nice to get out of the house before I move into my new apartment.” Ukai rolls his eyes, but drapes his arm across your shoulders anyways. You try not to notice the way his thumb lightly strokes your arm.

________________________

The lights in the bar are dim, and you’re sipping on a lemon sour, nestled into the booth next to Ukai. Beers litter the table, as well as small dishes of food, and some shots you all have yet to drink. Takinoue’s cackle barrels through the air as you offer up another idea.

“No, I’m serious! We could all get dinner! I’m sure my parents would be happy to see you guys again.” Ukai scoffs, crossing his arms and fixing you with a pointed look.

“Please, your parents hate us,” he grumbles. A laugh bubbles through you, and you shake your head.

“They did not!” you promise, but your words sound hollow even to yourself.

Takinoue’s eyebrow quirks up in disbelief. Your lips twist into a grimace, memories of your parents looking tired whenever the boys dropped you off at home. “Okay, maybe they did, but ONLY when my grades would start slipping.” Shimada nods at your words.

“Yea, that sounds right,” he says solemnly. You pout at his calm and unsurprised tone.

“I promise they loved you guys. Just like I know your granddad loved me,” you giggle, poking at Ukai’s side. He rolls his eyes, and he downs his shot.

“Please, like that man likes anyone,” he grumbles. You stick your tongue out at him, and punch his arm lightly.

“Alright, but I got you through high school, so he has to like me” you counter, mouth twisting into a smirk. Ukai glares at you, memories of late night study sessions, and rushed homework help before class flood his mind. His shoulders sag, and he lets out a sigh.

“That’s fair I guess. Gotta piss. I’ll be back.” He pushes out of the booth, leaving you with Takinoue and Shimada. Shimada smiles softly, before fixing his gaze on you.

“Kimi was in Tokyo too, right? Have you seen her at all?” he asks. You grin, taking a sip of your drink.

“Yea, we actually got lunch the day before I moved.” You pause, eyeing him carefully before continuing. “Shimada, did you know she had the biggest crush on you in high school?” He blushes a bright crimson, choking on his drink as Takinoue cackles.

“Yea, dumbass. It was obvious.” Shimada glares at him, nursing his beer.

“Well, I clearly didn’t know. And no one thought to tell me?” You shrugged, shooting him an apologetic smile. Takinoue punches him arm affectionately, before his eyes settle on you, full of humor and mirth.

“Speaking of crushes, I was wondering how Ukai would be since you got back,” Takinoue laughs.

“What?” Despite the drinks you’ve had, you feel sober, something cold slinking down your back.

“He was head over heels for you back in the day,” Takinoue’s laughs die down, but he doesn’t seem to notice the way you freeze. Shimada, on the other hand, does, and he cocks his head to the side, monitoring your response.

You sputter, words locked in your throat. What they hopefully don’t know is that you had a massive crush on him too, and it’s only resurfaced violently since seeing him again. Even after what had happened. And yet that cold feeling heats up into something syrupy in the pit of your stomach.

“Well that’s news to me,” you say softly. “Guess I fucked it all up, huh?” Shimada and Takinoue exchange a glance, and you’re sure one of them is gonna say something, but when Ukai slips back into the booth that door shuts, locking their words on the other side.

“What’d you fuck up?” he asks, taking a swig of the beer he had left on the table.

“Ah you know, the usual. My life in Tokyo. And now I’m back with my parents. I did find a job though.” Shimada’s brows furrow, but he says nothing. Ukai hums, his thigh jostling against yours.

“Aren't you at your new place yet?” Your face twists in annoyance, and your head hits the back of the booth.

“I’m gonna have to stay with my parents for a few more days because a pipe apparently burst in my apartment. But I’m going to lose it. I can’t live with them anymore. Not at my age…” you trail off, lost in your thoughts.

“Stay with me. Until you can move in.” 

Ukai’s voice cuts through the noisy bar, and you open your mouth stupidly, no words coming out. He stares back at you, making the butterflies that had been dormant for awhile snap back to life inside of you. He scratches at the side of his face, making pathetic attempts to backtrack. “I mean you don’t have to, and I won’t be there for a bit cause of training camp-”

“No, that sounds good.” You nod at him, an easy smile spreading across your face. “Yea, that sounds good.” His eyes lock onto yours, something dark and undefinable in them. Neither of you notice the coy look Shimada and Takinoue share.

________________________

The hot water streams around you, and you shut your eyes, relishing the way it feels on your skin. You had a long day at your new job, and the approaching weekend was the only thing keeping you going. Well, that and the fact that you were currently in Ukai’s shower.

He had been kind enough to offer you a place to stay, and already your thoughts are starting to drift to darker places. You had harbored a crush on him when you were younger, but you haven’t seen him in years. And yet the way he looked at you made your stomach drop.

You turn the water off, the cold air plucking at your skin and making you shiver. You wrap a towel around yourself, and dry off quickly, trying to forget about the ache in between your legs. It doesn’t work, but you pull on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt anyways. You could at least pretend it worked.

Ukai’s apartment was exactly what you expected. The walls were littered with posters, books lay all over the ground, and there was a volleyball by the TV. He had rubbed the back of his neck, almost embarrassed when you first got there.

“It’s, uh, not much. Probably should’ve thought about that before I offered, but make yourself at home,” he mutters.

You had reassured him it was more than enough. You were just grateful to be out of your parents' house. You pad over to his spot near the tv, kneeling next to him. He eyes you from his peripheral, not looking directly at you. Nonetheless, it makes you shiver.

“Where should I sleep?” you ask, playing with the hem of his shirt. He nods his head back to the bed, and you flush.

“I can’t take your bed,” you sputter, stomach flipping. He rolls his eyes, a sharp smirk pulling at his lips.

“I gotta leave in the middle of the fucking night for training camp, remember? Take the bed.” His tone leaves no room for any argument, and you nod shyly, before shuffling over to his bed. He refocuses on the game he was watching as you pull the covers around you.

But you can’t sleep. Not when Ukai is so close to you. You flip onto your stomach and huff. He glances at you from over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. He shifts to the side, allowing you to watch the game from your vantage point.

You recognize the Karasuno uniforms, and something syrupy and nostalgic floods your veins. This must be the new team. The two of you stay quiet, the two of you lost in your own thoughts.

It’s only when the noise from the TV stops that you’re jolted back to reality. Ukai’s hand grips the remote tightly, face screwed up unpleasantly.

“Why did you stop talking to me?”

The words ring around his apartment, crystalizing into the air, becoming frigid and uncomfortable. You squeeze your eyes shut, letting your head rest against his pillow. When you open them again, he’s turned towards you, brows pinched and mouth twisted into a grimace.

“I didn’t-” you cut yourself off, pushing yourself up to your knees. “I didn’t mean to.” You hold a hand up to him, stopping his oncoming argument. “I wanted to, and I wanted to pretend like everything was okay, but how could I?” His frown deepens, but he stays silent, memories seeping uncomfortably into the air.

“Keishin,” you hissed into the phone. “Let it go.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? How could you be so stupid?” Your stomach drops at his words, but more than anything, you’re upset.

“I am not the stupid one. I’m the one who made it out of Miyagi. I’m the one who’s going to college.” You hear him inhale sharply, and you can practically imagine the way his eyes are narrowed right now.

“Right, right, right. And you’re also the one who’s sleeping with some asshole, who is way too old for you, and he’s just gonna forget you once he’s bored! If that’s not what a stupid little girl does, you tell me what it is! I’m trying to watch out for you!” he practically yells. You feel the oncoming tears sting the back of your eyes, but there’s something red-hot pushing you forward.

“Fuck you, Ukai. I actually found someone who likes me for once, you have to ruin it. I’m not a kid. You don’t know shit about my life here, and you hate it. If you cared so much, you could’ve asked me to stay. Fuck you.” He swears angrily at you, before the line drops. You stare at your phone, waves of nausea passing over you.

A week later he sends you a text, complaining about his grandfather, and telling you about something stupid Takinoue did. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond. His texts eventually slowed down, until he didn’t text you at all.

You shudder slightly at the memory, letting your eyes drop to the floor.

“You acted like nothing had happened, but I was still mad, and by the time I had calmed down, I thought you would hate me for not talking to you.” You wrap your arms around yourself, chewing on your lip. “And you were right by the way, about that guy,” you spit out. “The second someone prettier came along, he dropped me.”

When you flick your eyes up, Ukai’s jaw is tense, his brows furrowed. You dig your nails into your arm, inhaling sharply.

“Fuck, I wish I had been wrong,” he seethes. Your eyes widen, not expecting him to say that. In all honesty, you weren’t sure what you had expected him to say. “You deserve the world, Y/N. More than that piece of shit. More than Miyagi.” His words are colored with bitterness that makes your stomach curdle.

“That’s why I could never ask you to stay. You were supposed to get out of here.” Ukai’s gaze bores into you, the intensity of it giving you whiplash. Your heart melts at his words, and you can’t help but to feel regret for not trying to work things out back in the day.

“And I ended up back here anyways,” you mutter.

“Well, Miyagi has some perks,” he laughs, an easy smirk tugging at his mouth. You cock your head to the side, snorting in disbelief.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“It’s got you now,” Ukai says lazily, while stretching his arms above his head.

Your heart swells in your chest, and you lunge towards him, wrapping your arms around him. He’s tense beneath you, but relaxes under your soft touches.

“I missed you, Kei,” you say gently. His arms drop to hold you to him, eyes closing as he basks in your attention.

“I’m sorry for what happened, and I’m sorry I tried to pretend like nothing happened. I’m pissed that you weren’t in my life, but that was my fault. And now that you’re here...don’t think you’re escaping that easy again.” You nod, and something hot stings the back of your eyes.

“I’m not,” you say gently. “I’m not gonna disappear again. I promise. You’re my best friend, Keishin. I missed you.”

“Okay. Now get some sleep.” His arms loosen around you, and you slump away from him. As you shift back into the bed, Ukai faces the TV, playing it and lowering the volume until it’s just white noise to your sleepy mind. With that, you lie down again, letting your eyes shut and the warmth of sleep overtake you.

Ukai is drawn back into the game, but your words linger in the air. You’re my best friend, Keishin. I missed you. He glances back at you, bitterness eating away at his stomach. He wants to be more than just your best friend. 

He fixes his gaze on the TV, trying to shove those thoughts somewhere deep and dark. Eventually, when he looks at the time, he scowls realizing he’s gotta head out now. Letting out a sigh, he turns to face you again.

His heart tugs at how you’re curled up in his bed so sweetly. Guilt settles in his stomach at the thought of waking you at this hour, but he had to make sure you would be okay. His hand hovers above your shoulder, and he watches the steady rise and fall of your chest. You belong here. With him. He shakes his head, banishing the thought. Ukai gently shakes you, watching as you rub your eyes and blink sluggishly at him.

“Sorry to wake you, but I’m heading out for the camp now. The keys are on the counter. Stay as long as you need to, just make sure to lock up.” You hum at his words, nestling back into his pillow and shutting your eyes.

“Okay, Keishin. Love you. Have fun,” you murmur, before drifting back to sleep. He inhales sharply, eyes boring into your sleeping face. He scoffs to himself, shaking his head. You probably wouldn’t even remember you said that when you woke up. And yet…

Ukai shifts on his knees closer to your sleeping form. He ducks down, letting his lips hover over your forehead. He gently kisses your temple, while simultaneously trying to squash the warm feelings that flow through him. He pulls away quickly, the small peck only lasting a second or two, but his lips burn now, and all he wants to do is curl around you and hold you in his arms.

The thought rushes through him like cold water, and he straightens away from you, trying to ignore the way his heart thuds. Ukai’s lips twist into a frown, and he rises, grabbing his bag and quietly walking out the door.

________________________

The next few days are quiet as you go to work. It feels weird to stay at Ukai’s by yourself, but you have to admit that a weight has been lifted since the first night. It was like you could finally move forward in your friendship, the guilt evaporating and letting you fall back into a normal crush.

The evening you’re able to move into your apartment, it’s windier than you thought it would be. You didn’t mean to steal one of his hoodies, but you know he has a few pairs of the orange one. You had seen them in his closet. You slip the orange hoodie on, clutching the fabric to you. It’s warm, enough to protect you from the unusually powerful wind. You shut your eyes and take a deep breath; it smells like him. The thought makes you shudder.

You keep the hoodie on, promising to leave it in Ukai's apartment when you make your last trip in between. But when the moment comes, you can’t bring yourself to take the garment off. When you slip into bed in an unfamiliar place that night, his hoodie brings you comfort. As your eyes shut, you promised that you would return it the next day, when he texted you for his key.

Except you didn’t. You held onto his hoodie for two weeks. By the time you return it, it has already stopped smelling like him. And now, Ukai’s blinking at you from the doorframe of his apartment, confusion pulling at his eyebrows.

His hair is wet, hanging limply against his head, his normal headband nowhere to be seen. A towel hangs around his neck, and there’s an unlit cigarette in between his lips. You blink up at him blankly, trying to resist the urge to run your fingers through his hair.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He cocks his head to the side, eyes trailing over your face curiously.

“I, um, came to drop this off.” You hold his hoodie to your chest, clutching it tightly in your hands. “But I probably should’ve told you I was coming.” His gaze is glued to the garment your holding, and the silence hangs in between you. Ukai flicks his eyes back to yours, something deep and dark brewing in them. You shift nervously under his gaze, opening your mouth as you hesitantly explain yourself.

“I borrowed it. When I was staying here. Just took me a while to drop it back off,” you mumble, feeling embarrassed.

“Keep it.” His voice is warm and steady in the air, making your spine tingle. Your hands drop from your chest, hoodie still clenched tightly.

“Oh. Okay.” Your mouth feels heavy, the words sticking to your tongue like molasses. “I guess I’ll head home. Thanks.” You start to turn away, when his hand shoots out, latching onto your wrist.

“You just got here.” His touch stings you, burning into your skin in a way that makes you crave more. You slowly, and weakly, you nod at him, letting him guide you inside his apartment.

“So you borrowed my hoodie, huh?” He smirks at you, eyes gleaming at the way you nervously sit at the edge of his futon.

“Yea, I was running out the door and it was colder than I thought, so I just grabbed it.” Your hands grip the fabric tightly, before you put the hoodie on the bed next to you. Ukai cocks his head to the side, his sharp smirk never leaving his face. “But it took me a while to return because, well…” He flops down onto the ground in front of you, resting his chin in his hand.

“Because it smelled like you,” you mumble, feeling butterflies slip into your veins. Ukai’s eyes widen for a split second, and he plucks the unlit cigarette from his mouth, throwing it to the side.

“Huh, no shit.” His words are colored in disbelief, but his gaze is unwavering, sending a small shiver down your spine. He shifts forward, pushing into your personal space until his face is right in front of yours.

“If I’m reading this wrong, you gotta let me know.” The frail dam that had been holding your emotions in place splinters, leaving your mind reeling. But one thing was sure: it was impossible to deny how you felt.

“You’re not,” you manage to sputter out. “You’re not reading it wrong.” He hums in satisfaction, eyes trailing over your face.

Ukai surges forward, and his lips are warm and rough against yours, and he steals your breath away immediately. A hand gently holds your face to his, the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him. Tentatively, you twist your fingers into his hair, and he groans against you. He pulls away from your lips, leaving you chasing after him. He pants against you, eyes dark and unreadable.

“Been wanting to do this for years,” he mutters, looking at you intensely.

“What took you so long?” He rolls his eyes, leaving sharp kisses down your neck.

“Too scared that I would push you away, and I did that anyways.” You pout at his words, tugging him up by his hair.

“I’m not going away again, and there’s nothing you could do to make me” you murmur, leaning forward to kiss him. His tongue prods at your lips, and you open your mouth obediently, letting him explore. Ukai’s hands are warm on your waist, squeezing the flesh that’s there. He pulls you onto his lap, shifting his legs under you so you’re flush against him.

“You good?” you ask in between kisses, scratching his scalp. His hips rock against you, and he pulls back to smirk at you.

“I’m more than good, baby.” Grinning, you meet his mouth again, letting your hips grind against him. His warm hands wander up and down your body, setting your skin on fire. They rest on your waist under your shirt, and his fingers tap at the flesh there. You hum happily, before leaning away and pulling off your shirt and tossing it behind you. Ukai freezes, eyes hungrily taking in the newly exposed skin. You flush as his hands start to trail upwards, ghosting over your skin.

You dip forward to kiss him again, and his hands reach around to fumble with your bra. You smile against his lips as he struggles, but the second it’s off, his hands are kneading your breasts.

“What are you smiling about?” he mutters against your lips, before pinching one of your nipples. You pull back and inhale sharply, biting your lip before tugging at his shirt.

“Not fair that yours is still on, Keishin,” you whine. He rolls his eyes, and pushes you off of his lap, letting you fall against the futon. Ukai strips quickly, a sharp grin on his face making you flush. He crawls forward, caging you in between his arms. His hips settle in between your thighs, and you can feel his erection through his boxers.

When he looks at you, his hair flops down. You lift your hand, running your fingers through it. He leans into your touch, grinning before bending down to kiss you. His lips are warm against you, and he doesn’t waste any time, attacking your jawline and neck with sharp, biting kisses. You card your hands through his hair, eyes fluttering shut. His kisses switch into something more intense, and you gasp, eyes fluttering open as small bites litter your neck.

“Ukai,” you moan, fingers tightening in his hair. He leaves little marks until he reaches your chest. His tongue swirls around a nipple, fingers pinching the other. The small sparks of pleasure go straight to your pussy, and your hips shift underneath Ukai, making him groan.

His mouth is hot and relentless on you, and your nipples ache from the attention. His teeth lightly bite down on your breast, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make your eyes fly open.

“Keishin!” you squeal. He chuckles before letting his tongue run over were he just bit.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, not really meaning it, and he continues his path down. When he reaches the waist of your shorts, his eyes find yours, waiting. Biting the inside of your cheek, you shift your hips up, and Ukai grips the fabric, tugging down both your shorts and your underwear. His eyes focus on your exposed pussy, making note of how it’s already wet.

“Quit staring,” you complain, embarrassment flooding your system. He smirks down at you, using his finger to trail up and down your already soaking slit.

“So pretty and wet…” he mumbles. Your hips squirm underneath him, and his finger travels to circle your sensitive clit. You whine at the jolts of pleasure, making him smirk. His finger dips down, and he pushes it in gently. He thumbs at your clit, eyes flicking in between your face and your greedy pussy. Your tug at his hair, rotating your hips in time with his gentle thrusts.

“Keishin, more please,” you whine, making him chuckle. He slips another finger in, stretching you out. Your hands leave his hair to pinch at your nipples. Ukai’s head dips down to lightly bite the inside of your thigh, making you jolt. When he pushes in a third finger, you moan loudly, throwing your head back against the pillow. Something white-hot and foreboding pokes at the edges of your mind, threatening to spill over.

“I’m gonna cum, Kei,” you warn, eyes fluttering shut. His fingers curl inside of you, thumb still relentless on your clit.

“Open your eyes, Y/N.” His voice leaves no room for any argument, and you force them to open, watching as his fingers continue to pump into you. “Cum for me, baby.” He leans down again, eyes fixed on yours, and he bites the inside of your other thigh, and the pain combines with the pleasure, catapulting you over the edge.

You writhe and thrash against him, hips bucking up against his fingers. Ukai’s laugh fills the room, and he continues to move his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm. When he finally pulls his hand away, you whimper from the loss. He presses a kiss to your hip before flipping you over.

You hear him shuffle, and you glance over your shoulder and see him kneeling behind you, boxers finally off. Excitement and arousal pool inside of you, and you squirm as his hands massage your ass.

“You’re big,” you murmur, making him laugh. He’s thick and long enough that you know it’ll feel good. But even then, you can’t help but wonder if he’ll actually fit. You flush facing forward again, but he leans down to press kisses to your spine.

“You good to keep going?” he asks in between each peck. You nod, letting your fingers dig into the sheets by your head.

“I’ve been thinking about this for years,” he groans, making you flush. His fingers dig into your ass, massaging the flesh. You squirm underneath him, feeling yourself get wetter under his touch. Ukai runs the head of his cock up and down your slit, and you inhale sharply, overcome with the desire to see his face.

“Wait!” you cry out, throwing an arm back to grab his arm. Immediately, he pulls away from you and freezes.

“What’s wrong are you okay? Do you wanna stop?” Panic colors his voice, and you shake your head before rolling over onto you back.

“I, uh, I just wanted to see you,” you mumble, feeling shy. Ukai barks out a laugh and smirks down at you, one of his hands moving to stroke your thigh affectionately.

“Fair enough. There’s always next time.” His predatory grin makes your cunt clench, and you reach up, gesturing for him to lean down. He cocks his head to the side, hair tilting with it.

“What is it you want?” You flush, letting your gaze go past his shoulder.

“A kiss.” His eyes light up, and he leans down, letting his lips ghost against yours. You push up, meeting his lips, and he chuckles. Ukai ruts his hips against you, letting his cock slide in between your soaking folds.

“Keishin, quit teasing me,” you whine. He rolls his eyes before pushing away, resting on his knees.

“Wanna watch your little pussy try to take me,” he explains, letting the head of his cock gently push into you. Your face contorts at the breach, and you wring your hands in the sheets. He whispers sweet words, eyes glued to your flutter pussy. He slowly rocks his hips forward, watching as he sinks in another inch.

You let out a choked moan, his slow movements emphasizing his size. His eyes snap up to your face, letting his hands squeeze your waist.

“Your sweet little cunt feels so good already,” he groans. Your hands tug at the sheets as you try not to squirm. But it feels nearly impossible with how red-hot his cock feels inside of you.

You preen under Ukai’s attention, his hands massaging your flesh as your pussy tries to relax around his thick length.

“So hot and tight.” His words shake as his eyes trail down your body to watch your pussy split around him as he inches in.

“You’re too big,” you keen, tears prickling in the corners of your eyes at the intense stretch, and nonetheless, the thought adds fuel to the fire in your belly, and your pussy clenches down harder on his cock. His thumb strokes delicate circles into your hip, and he smirks down at you.

“Yea, and the thought has you squeezing around my cock, huh? That’s pretty messed up.” You flush at his words, embarrassment coursing through your veins. You turn your head to the side, wanting to escape his intense gaze. Keishin leans forward, rocking his hips and pushing his cock slowly into you until he bottoms out. You let out a pathetic whine, covering your face with your hands

“Don’t get shy now, baby,” he coos, batting at your hands, which flop above your head. “I think it’s cute how tight you are around me. I’m just too big? Is that it, baby?” You moan, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him towards you. He chuckles as you bury face into the crook of his neck. Tentatively, Ukai slowly pulls out, every ridge and vein dragging deliciously against your walls. When he pushes back in, you groan against his skin, and your hands travel up and down the smooth expanse of his back, your nails leaving red lines.

His hand snakes in-between the two of you, and a calloused finger expertly traces patterns onto your clit. You moan loudly, and your body writhes against him. Ukai pulls away from you, and a cruel grin sprawls out onto his face.

“Are you gonna cum? Already?” You nod, pathetically bucking your hips against him still. “We’ve barely started,” he taunts.

“I can’t help it,” you choke out, nerves feeling overwhelmed by sensations. He hums at your words, licking his lips as he eyes your body.

“Okay. It’s okay. Do you wanna be good for me?” he gently asks. You squirm beneath him, hands gripping his biceps, and you nod your head.

“I wanna be good for you, Keishin,” you cry out, the walls of your cunt fluttering around his thick cock. “I’ll be good for you.” His smirk slips into a softer smiler, and he leans forward, grinding his cock into you, and leaving sharp kisses against your neck.

“Then cum for me,” he murmurs against your neck, before shifting to lightly bite your shoulder. Your eyes squeeze shut, and you cant your hips against him, pussy fluttering around him. You grip his biceps tightly, orgasm overwhelming you.

“That’s it. Creaming so pretty on my dick,” Ukai whispers, watching your face contort in pleasure. He ruts into you, fingers still expertly teasing your clit, in an attempt to draw out your orgasm. Your eyes crack open, small tears leaking from your eyes.

“It’s too much, Kei,” you squeal, nails digging into his biceps as you try to squirm away from him. He tuts lightly at you, his hot tongue swiping along the delicate bite mark that’s on your shoulder.

“I thought you wanted to be good for me,” he rumbles. You nod, letting your eyes shut again. The fingers that were tortuously circling your clit slip away to pinch you’re inner thigh. “Look at me, baby.” You pry your eyes open and pant against him. His clever fingers continue their ministrations, and his hips grind deeper into you, making your brain feel foggy and warm.

“I wanna be good,” you mumble, hands leaving his biceps to tangle themselves into his hair. Ukai makes an approving sound, and he kisses your cheek.

“Cum. Again.” A pathetic cry tears itself from your throat, and you focus on the intense pleasure you’re feeling. Ukai leans down, littering your chest with little sharp bites that make you keen. Your brows pinch at the intense pleasure, hips grinding against him. You’re already close again, and you tug at his hair, urging him to kiss you again. His lips eagerly find yours, and you feel him smile against you. You’re so close to falling over that edge again. Your cunt is absolutely drenched, and the erotic squelching makes you flush.

Ukai’s tongue prods at your lips, and you obediently open your mouth, letting him in. It’s sloppy and desperate, and it’s perfect. His fingers dig into your clit, pinching it, and you are flung into the stratosphere, stars popping into your vision. You gush around his cock, and he groans against your lips.

Your thighs twitch, and your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him close to you, urging him to still. He complies, peppering your face with kisses as you come back to earth.

“So pretty,” he whispers against you. You card your fingers through his hair as you try to catch your breath.

“Oh my god, Keishin.” Your voice wavers, and you're embarrassed by how hoarse you sound.

“Want me to stop?” You shake your head desperately at his question, and your legs tighten around him.

“No. I just need a second.” He chuckles watching as your screws up. “I didn’t think I was that sensitive,” you sigh. You unlace your fingers from his hair, wiping at the sweat that’s on your neck.

Ukai smirks at you as he shifts to kneel.  His warm hands gripping your waist, keeping you flushed against him. You whine at the movement, pussy tightening around him. His eyes trail over where he enters you, admiring how you’re spread out for him.

“Or, maybe my dick’s too big for you,” he taunts, no real malice behind his words. You squeak at his words, feeling embarrassed and warm.  “Yea, that’s it,” he continues, fondly looking at your messy cunt. “You’re so sensitive cause it barely fits in your cunt,” he coos.

“Oh my god,” you murmur, lazily wrapping your legs around him. He lets out a laugh, one that resounds through the apartment, and you smile at him, something syrupy running through your head. “And I think-“

You cut yourself off, nerves overtaking you. His head cocks to the side, and his thumb strokes your waist in a reassuring manner.

“I’m balls deep in you. Don’t get shy on me now,” he says gently, his soft tone colliding with his crude words.

“You’re so vulgar, Keishin.” You roll your eyes at him, a soft smile creeping onto your face. “It could be that,” you say, not wanting to repeat his words, “but I also think I may be sensitive cause it’s you.”

Your voice is soft, and you watch as Ukai practically melts. His arms wrap around you, pulling you against his chest. You moan as your weight settles on him, increasing the pressure from his cock.

“Are you being serious right now?” His voice rumbles through you, and you bite your lip and nod. You press a palm to his cheek, relishing in the way he leans into it.

“There’s no one for me but you, Keishin.” Ukai kicks his legs out behind you, letting you get more comfortable on his lap. His arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and he buries his face into your neck. His hips buck up into you, making you squeal.

“Gonna fuck you so good. You’re never gonna be able to think about anyone but me inside this pussy.” He punctuates his words with a thrust, and your nails dig into his back. You rock your hips against him, as he sprinkles kisses against your neck.

“Ever since,” you pant, “ ever since I got back, all I’ve thought about is you. I missed you so much.” He moans into your neck, and his sweet kisses turn into little bites, nipping at the sensitive skin there.

“Did you touch yourself? Thinking about my fat cock pushing into you?” he mutters in between nips. Your brows pinch together and you nod as your exhausted pussy flutters again.

“Yes! But all I wanted was you!” Ukais teeth clamp down on your neck, not hard enough to break skin, but it stings. You squeal as he roughly changes positions again, forcing you on your back again, legs wrapped tightly around him.

His pace is relentless, pounding into you. Your fingers claw down his back, and his hands squeeze your hips.

“It’s too much, Kei,” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut. Ukai presses a searing kiss to your lips, thumb digging into your side.

“Please, baby. Give me one more. Cum for me one more time,” he mumbles into your lips. You nod against him, blinking through the tears. “Good. Just let me fuck you like this.”

His cock drives deep in you, making you keen. Your hands travel up to his hair, tangling into it, and tugging at the strands. He feels everywhere, his presence is overwhelming, hot and heavy. His hips rut into you, lips peppering your face with small kisses. Your cunts already oversensitive can feel your orgasm approaching.

“I’m close, Kei,” you choke out, pussy gushing around his cock. You flush at the lewd noises, but he just moans nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Give it to me. Wanna feel your little pussy squeeze around me.” You hold him to your neck, hips bucking into him. Ukai’s hand snakes down in between the two of you, and his fingers rub intense circles on your clit. Your eyes squeeze shut, as the building pleasure finally reaches its peak.

“Just like that, baby. Cum around my cock.” You writhe beneath him, your hands traveling to claw down his back. Your hot cunt grips him tight, legs tightening around his waist. “Just like that,” he groans, before his teeth sink into the base of your shoulder. You moan his name loudly, loud enough that you would be embarrassed later, but for not you don’t care. All you can focus on is the white-hot pleasure that’s coursing through your system.

Ukai’s thrusts don’t stop, plowing into you and prolonging your orgasm. He pulls his hand away from your clit, and he slips his arms in between your back and the bed, holding you tightly. You whine as you feel his hips begin to lose their pace, thrusts no longer steady. Your legs squeeze around him, keeping him close to you.

“Cum inside, please I need it,” you beg. He pulls away from your neck, eyebrows creasing in concern. “I’m on the pill. It’s safe, I promise. Please Kei, I need you to fill me, please, please, please.”

“Alright, baby. I’ll give you what you want.” His head drops back to the crook of your neck, as he stutters against you, hot spurts of cum flooding your pussy. He falls against you, before rolling onto his side, keeping you tight against him. His cock is still lodged within you, and you whine at the movement. Sweet kisses litter your face and neck, and you blink blearily at him. He slowly pulls out of you, grunting at the way your pussy flutters. You grimace as his cum drips out of your abused cunt.

“Gotta get you cleaned up,” he mumbles, before standing up and disappearing to the bathroom. You flop onto your back, trying to catch your breath. When Ukai returns, he kneels in between your shaky legs, and ever so carefully, he takes care of you. There’s something unusually soft in his actions, soft enough to make your heart squeeze. He also gets you a glass of water, which you gulp down. He lights a cigarette, as he watches your eyes start to clear up.

“Keishin, you’re kind of nasty,” you mumble, stretching your arms out above your head. His laugh rumbles through the air, as he takes a drag. He eyes you greedily, as if he’s going to eat you alive.

“This was nothing. There’s so much I wanna do to you.” His voice is low, heavy with exhaustion. “But for now I just want to hold you.”

“Well that can be arranged,” you tease, lying back on the bed. Ukai chuckles, putting out his cigarette and crawling forward to wrap his arms around you. You sigh in contentment, letting your eyes shut.

“I missed you,” he mutters, and you smile against him.

“I missed you too, Keishin.” Sleep tugs at your brain, luring it to a deep rest.

“Did you mean it? What you said?” His voice is unusually quiet, delicately piercing the air. His thumb gently strokes your arm. Your eyes flutter open, and your brows pinch as you try to recall what you had said.

“About what?” you ask, trying to stifle a yawn.

“What you said? About you and me?”

Oh.

Oh.

You smile at him, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. When you pull away, you lean your forehead against his and you smile.

“The only person for me is you, Keishin. It’s always been you.” He hums happily before he pulls you against him.

“Good. Cause I was serious. I’m not letting you go again.” You shut your eyes and nuzzle into him, taking comfort in the way his arms wrap around you. And it’s in those arms that you embrace the most peaceful sleep you’ve had in years.✨

#ukai keishin x reader #keishin ukai x reader #coach ukai x reader #ukai keishin x you #keishin ukai x you #coach ukai x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #coach ukai smut #ukai keishin smut #keishin ukai smut #haikyuu smut #💫.ukai

[biblophilic-psycho]

I posted 54 times in 2021

37 posts created (69%)

17 posts reblogged (31%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.

I added 187 tags in 2021

#the foxhole court - 27 posts

#neil josten - 26 posts

#andrew minyard - 26 posts

#andriel - 23 posts

#aftg shitpost - 21 posts

#aftg - 20 posts

#andrew x neil - 18 posts

#nora sakavic - 12 posts

#the raven king - 7 posts

#aftg headcanon - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#andrew asking nicky if hes an idiot sandwich makes me cackle like a witch

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

A normal morning in the castle of Elfhame

*shouts are heard coming form Jude and Cardan's room*

Random servant: Another fight this morning? I don't think their union is going to last...

Meanwhile in Jurdan's room

Cardan:*singing very loudly and jumping on the bed* WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

Jude: :*also singing very loudly and on cardans back* WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACEEEEEEE

116 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 21:40:08 GMT

#4

The foxes in a poetry slam:

A/N: Idk why I made this, its stupid but Im tired and bored so here you go

Nicky: Kevin Day, Kevin night. Kevin may, Kevin bite

Kevin: I do not bite

Neil: Shut up, its my turn

Neil: I drew and drew and drew

Andrew: You drew me? Why are you so obsessed

Neil: I didnt-

Dan: He didn't draw Andrew

Nicky: He didn't say draw, he said drew

Allison: DREW IS THE PAST TENSE OF DRAW

Nicky: NO, DREW IS OUR TEAMMATE

Aaron: YOU FOOLS, HE SAID DRU AS IN DRU FROM DESPICABLE ME 3

Neil: Who is Dru-

Allison: YOUR BOYFRIEND

Aaron: HE SAID DRU, NOT DREW ARE YOU DEAF

Kevin: I am very confused, why are we reciting poems, we're athletes not poets

Matt: Shut up, this is entertaining

Andrew: My name isn't Drew, dont call me that or I'll kill you

Coach Wymack: My players are dumber than preschoolers

Betsy: At least they're bonding

Abby: *records the whole thing*

125 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 13:10:02 GMT

#3

Andrew: Say something in a British accent

Neil: *in a perfect british accent* God saved the queen but Philip wasn't as lucky

Andrew, mentally: I didnt know talking about the queen could be so sexy why am i fucking blushing WHY IS NEIL SO HOT AND TALENTED AND SPECIAL, I WASNT PREPARED DOR THIS SHIT WHEN I ASKED HIM YES OR NO-

Andrew, physically: Thats cool ig

168 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 13:44:02 GMT

#2

Its almost 2 am but I just reread aftg and decided to write this:

It's become a tradition for Andrew and Neil to shower together, Neil gently removing Andrew's armbands and Andrew washing Neil's hair. Neil knows to be careful when touching Andrew but Andrew trusts him and places Neil's hands in his.

Andrew steals borrows Neil's clothes because he likes that Neil's scent is all over them. He is an absolute demon when its time to wash his favourite stolen hoodie after wearing it for 2 weeks straight but makes replaces the smell of detergent with Neil by cuddling.

Andrew cannot sleep peacefully without Neil. It's either they fall asleep, their arms wrapped around each other with their limbs entangled or Andrew being the big spoon. When they can't sleep they lay in bed without talking and Andrew traces Neil's scars, feeling him relax under his touch and relishing the fact that out of 7 billion people in the world, there is one special person who feels safe in his arms.

Andrew grabs Neil's hands at quiet, lazy moments when they're alone. He rubs his thumb over Neil's palm. Feeling the calluses and lines. Mapping out the roughness of his skin. Memorising the sleekness of his fingers. Just to remind himself that Neil is there with him, and he's not leaving.

Neil has made a habit of ranting to Andrew about his day, starting from when he left thier apartment to when he got home. Unknown to him, Andrew listens to the daily complaints, even cracking a small smile (by small i mean smaller than than my will to get over the book series)

Andrew wouldn't admit it but he enjoys reading books, mostly literature. Due to this, him and Neik spend some evenings tangled together on their couch with a pile of books over the blanket cocooning them. Andrew reads out loud to Neil knowing that Neil only listens because of the amusing coments he inserts in between lines.

When driving together, Andrew places his hand on Neil's knee which is usually bouncing from unused energy. Neil has told Andrew that using both hands to drive can prevent their deaths but he actually likes that Andrew cares more about him than hitting a school bus and dying. Neil jokingly makes a playlist for when they're stuck in traffic but Andrew enjoys it so much (though he would never say it out loud) that he plays it on repeat, even when they're not driving.

When painting his nails (usually black), Andrew blankly tells Neil to head over and choose a colour. Neil goes for pastel colours just for the fun of it. This becomes a tradition and almost gives Kevin a heart attack when he finds them on the floor of their living room, Andrew painting Neil's nails cotton candy blue on a Friday night. Of course, they are teased by Nicky for having a "bff slumber party" but this soon stops when Andrew nonchalantly grabs a kitchen knife.

207 notes • Posted 2021-11-07 23:25:13 GMT

#1

Drunk Neil: Drew, the floor is lava, carry me *proceeds to try and climb on Andrew's back*

Andrew: Get off me you shithead. You didnt even have a lot to drink, lightweight

Also Andrew:Fucking adorable *gives him a piggyback ride to their room*

228 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 18:58:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[skswriting]

(dis)connected

Rating: T for suggestive content Pairing: Jeongguk/You Words: 12,359 Summary:  You don’t know if you and Jeongguk will join the group of people who have married one of their connect partners, but what you have right now is fun and carefree.  Yeah, you like him, and it seems like Jeongguk likes you, but the two of you have never physically met up, and neither of you have brought it up.  You’ve thought about it, but you always chicken out at the last moment, and he’s never even hinted at it, so. But you’re not worried about it today.  You just want Jeongguk to come back.  Who could possibly be at the door? AN: okay so i want to point out to everyone IMMEDIATELY that i originally had a different idea on how i wanted this to go (i.e. cheating which is not something i like writing about/reading) and decided that because i DONT like that i wanted to change the plot HOWEVER... because of this some of the dialogue i think in the beginning kind of still alludes to this?  i think i caught most of it, but god knows im shit at rereading my stuff so im sure i missed something.  i also think i really started lacking towards the end and for that, i apologize, but i still hope you all enjoy it! Warnings: there’s the beginning of a strip tease at the beginning, and of course when i write there’s always cussing, there’s also some pretty severe miscommunication (in my opinion, y/n is definitely an idiot but we all have our dumb bitch moments), there’s a small scene about an almost panic attack, and there’s mentions of a car accident that leads to a hospital stay but i don’t mention too much about the implications of that if things like that make you uncomfortable.  i think that’s it

You sigh as you flop down on your bed, feet aching and back sore.  It’s been a long week and you just want to relax, letting your body melt into the mattress.  The city is still sounding out around you, horns honking and the occasional voice drifting up to the window you left open to let as much natural air as you can in.  Gumdrop is staring out the screen, chittering at the pigeons roosting on your fire escape.

The loud vibrating of your phone causes you to groan as you kick your heels off, reaching into your purse to grab it.  You know who it is without looking at it and while you’re excited to talk to him, you’re still exhausted.

“Hi baby,” Jeongguk greets softly when you answer, the sound transmitting through your earpiece clearly.

You can’t stop the slow exhale you let out, melting even more at his voice, “Hi, Gguk-ah.”

“Oh no, you sound tired.  Long day?” Jeongguk asks and you can almost picture him biting his nails.

“Yeah,” you say simply and he hums in understanding.

“We don’t have to connect if you don’t want to, we can just talk like this: old fashioned,” he teases and you laugh a little, slowly getting to your feet.

“No, I want to, I miss you,” you say honestly and you can hear the smile on his face, “Let me get changed and I’ll login.”

“Wait,” he hurries to stop you, just as you’re reaching for the hem of your blouse, “Can I… can I watch?”

You can’t stop the surprised laugh you let out, “Gguk-ah, that’s naughty,” you say, even as you reach for your eye inserts, located right next to your pleasure-morph (i.e., dildo).  Priorities.

Jeongguk sounds unashamed as he coos at you, “I can’t help it that you’re so pretty.  I’m logged in.  Figured we could spend some time in my room today?  Unless you wanna stay at yours, I’m good with either.”

“No, yours is good, I like the way it smells,” you admit, wincing at the small sting of the inserts as you blink them in, getting comfortable.

Your vision slowly fades as the nanotech slowly works its way into your system, gradually bringing up the virtual login screen.  You hum as you see Jeongguk has sent you an invite and you click it, the bits of Jeongguk’s room and Jeongguk himself starting to pixelate in.  You can’t help but reach out and touch him, even if the nanos haven’t yet reached your fingers so you can’t yet feel him yet.  But he comes to you, little by little, until his warm skin is right under your fingertips, his smiling mouth meeting yours as he kisses you softly.  Lovingly.

“Hi baby,” he says again, a mere murmur really, pulling you close to him as he breathes you in.

Just like that all the exhaustion in your body leaves you as you slump into Jeongguk’s strong embrace, nuzzling against his neck as you hug him back.

“Hi Gguk-ah,” you whisper, head spinning from moving too quickly after logging in.

He’s quiet for a moment, humming a soft tune as he pets at your hair, rocking the two of you from side to side.  He holds you until you pull back first, kissing your forehead and then your mouth again, hand sliding down to grip the nape of your neck.

When he lets you step back, his grin turns into a pout as his eyes slide down your form, landing on your feet.

“You already took your heels off,” he whines, tugging childishly at your shirt, “you started without me.”

You cackle as you bat his hand away, letting your hair out of your ponytail and immediately snapping his attention back to your face.

“I didn’t think I was going to have an audience,” you chide and he huffs, crossing his arms as he plops down on his bed.

“You know I love watching you get undressed.  It’s like… watching a present unwrap itself in front of me.”

You roll your eyes, popping the first button of your blouse.  Jeongguk licks his lips at the hint of breast he sees and you shake your head at him.

“As many times as you’ve seen me naked, you still act like this,” you sigh out, like it’s an inconvenience, even going so far as cocking your hip out, “Honestly, Jeongguk.”

“Baby,” he whines, leaning back on his hands, “leave me alone.  It’s not my fault you’re the hottest person I’ve ever seen.  Get naked!”

You shake your head good naturedly, moving your hands back to your chest when he chimes in, “Wait!  I wanna guess what you’re wearing underneath.”

“It’s nothing special,” you furrow your eyebrows, popping another button just to be contrite.

“Shut up, it’s always spec- oh shit, I see black.  Oh God, is it the lacy one?  Or the one with the sheer strip on the cups and the little jewel in the center?  Fuck, that’s a good one,” he groans and you laugh when you see his cock already starting to get hard, chubbing up in his sweats, “Are you wearing matching panties today?  I think I’d lose my mind.”

“Why don’t we find out?” you purr, a lick of arousal shooting through you when you see him shiver at your tone.  You pop another button.

“Baby,” he gasps, hand flying down to his cock, cupping it in his hand, “Don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing,” you pout, popping another button.  You have two left, but the way you’re holding your shirt together won’t let him see under it yet.

He bites his lip, squeezing his hand around his cock as you undo the last two.  You turn around, giving him a look when he whines softly, the look softening into something coy as you let the blouse slip down your shoulders until it flutters to the floor, leaving you in your bra and skirt.

“Lemme see,” he practically begs.

You hum as you pretend to consider it, tapping a finger against your chin as Jeongguk gets to his feet, approaching you slowly.  He kisses the top of your head and then your temple, eyes closed as he trails kisses down your neck, biting at your shoulder.  His hands come up to cup your tits and you finally moan, his fingers tweaking your nipples through the material.

“It’s thin,” he comments, eyes still closed, sucking a mark into the dip of your collarbone, “It has to be the sheer one.”

He groans when he opens his eyes and sees he’s right, kneading your tits faster as you shake in his hold.

“Feels good Ggukkie,” you pant, reaching up to thread a hand in his hair.

“Keep going,” his voice has dropped a little, hands insistent as they roam over your tits, fingers dipping into the cups to roll your nipples between them directly.

“Any guesses on panties?” you’re breathless, Jeongguk’s eyes gazing down the slope of your breasts and stomach to the way your other hand is teasing the waistband of your skirt.

“Not matching,” he says, almost immediately, “Or you wouldn’t be asking.”

“I wouldn’t?” you grin, pressing your ass back into his cock.

“No,” he sounds confident, as he reaches up to your back and undoes your bra, running reverent fingers down your arms to help you take it off.  The full heat of his hands on your sensitive tits has your back arching, “Is it the green pair with the lacy back and little bow on the front?  The pair that make me want to eat your ass like a sundae?”

You giggle, turning your head to nose under his jaw, “Let’s see.  Undo the zipper.”

He breathes out heavily against your wet skin and causes goosebumps to scatter.  He hisses when his own hand brushes his cock in search of your zipper, but he finally manages to tug it down, and the sound is almost deafening.  You have a hold of the skirt still so it doesn’t fall immediately, even though it’s tight enough that that wouldn’t be an issue.  But you know Jeongguk is a dirty cheater and would try and shove it down.

Jeongguk makes a confused sound as you step away from him but you smile to yourself, glancing at him over your shoulder as you shimmy your hips, the fabric shifting down until-

“Red,” he breathes out, mouth dropping open as he gapes at you.

He groans as you continue to shimmy your hips and push the skirt down at the same time, letting the material pool around your feet as he gets a great look at your ass.  Because you’re wearing a thong.

“You’re so hot,” he says, almost to himself, “God, look at you, like a fuckin’ wet dream.”

Despite yourself, you blush.

“This isn’t what I had planned, but c’mere,” he commands and you listen, turning around and padding your way to him.

His arms slide around your waist and turns you smoothly at the same time, crowding against you until you fall onto his bed with him on top of you.  You whimper when the hard planes of his body press entirely into yours and your legs fall open to let him settle more comfortably between them, cock rocking up against your leaking pussy.

“Wanna fuck you,” he groans, attaching his mouth to the side of your neck, “Is that okay?  Are you okay with that?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, “Want you to fuck me so hard I forget my own name.”

Jeongguk growls, reaching down to tug your panties to the side as he reaches into his sweats to carelessly pull his cock through, when a knock sounds out.  You both stop, Jeongguk pushing himself up to look confusedly at the door.

“Is that- is that logged in or real life?” you pant, trying to catch your breath and bearings from the 180 change in mood.

“Real life I think but… I wasn’t expecting anyone,” his face shines with sincerity and apology as he turns back to you, ‘Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

You pout, sliding a hand down your stomach and thumbing your clit, eyelashes fluttering, “Hurry up or I’ll start without you.”

He responds with a panicked look and a hurried kiss, before he reaches quickly for his eyes as another knock comes, “This could not have been worse timing!”

You giggle as he unlinks, his nanotech disappearing in a blink.  Contrary to your teasing, you don’t play with yourself.  You do settle yourself more comfortably in his bed, burrowing into his pillows as you kick his blankets to the end of the bed so your skin is pressed against the cool material of his sheets.

This… thing… with Jeongguk isn’t weird so much as it was unexpected.  Connecting by all means isn’t weird and is in fact revolutionary, allowing people to meet up and hook up (“connect”) through a sort of VR world, where only consensual sex is allowed and there’s no worry about pregnancy or diseases.  A lot of people even tend to meet their spouses through connecting now.  The sex toys are fantastic and you’ve clocked many hours with your pleasure-morph with it set to Jeongguk’s specifications (he’s told you with no discretion that he doesn’t think he’d survive without his pleasure-morph of your own sweet cunt.  His choice of words, not yours.)

You don’t know if you and Jeongguk will join the group of people who have married one of their connect partners, but what you have right now is fun and carefree.  Yeah, you like him, and it seems like Jeongguk likes you, but the two of you have never physically met up, and neither of you have brought it up.  You’ve thought about it, but you always chicken out at the last moment, and he’s never even hinted at it, so.

But you’re not worried about it today.  You just want Jeongguk to come back.  Who could possibly be at the door?

You don’t get your answer because Jeongguk’s room disconnects, the bed sinking down and disappearing beneath you. You blink at nothing, the login screen flashing in front of you as you try to gather your bearings.  You hesitate in disconnecting, confused as to what happened.  Maybe Jeongguk accidentally disconnected in his haste to get back to you?  But, after a minute of hovering in nothing, a little ball sinks in your stomach, and you disconnect yourself, letting the nanotech draw back into your eye inserts before you remove them.

You’re laying on your bed, still dressed, Gumdrop still yelling at the pigeons on your fire escape.  The city is still moving down below and it’s disorienting to you, for some reason.  You keep expecting a message from Jeongguk, as you disrobe and shower and make dinner and wash your face and get ready for bed and-

Nothing comes in.  You settle into bed, feeling quite pathetic as you check your phone in an almost obsessed fashion, but there’s nothing.  Gumdrop curls up near your face and you appreciate her awareness, petting through her fur to hear her sweet purrs.  The little ball has only grown.

-

There’s nothing in the morning, or in the afternoon, or even for the next three days.  You feel the worst the first day, still riding the high of the sudden disconnection, and by the third day you’re just… sad.  Being ghosted by Jeongguk was not a thought you had ever entertained.  You figured if you and Jeongguk ever stopped disconnecting it would be because either of you met someone or just got bored.  But just to be dropped like this cuts more than you thought it would.

As you’re playing with a laser pointer with Gumdrop, your phone chirps.  You’ve resigned yourself to not hearing from Jeongguk and it’s probably just Seokjin sending you pictures of his dinner again, so you’re not eager to get up and check it when Gumdrop is having the time of her life.

You remember to look at your messages as you plug your phone in for the night, and it’s like someone kicked you in the stomach when Jeongguk’s name pops up.

from: ggukkie ♡

Please just give me time, baby, please.

You sit there for a moment as Gumdrop claims the middle of your bed, purring as she makes herself comfortable because honestly, what the fuck does that mean?

-

“Yeah fuck him,” Seokjin says easily the next day when the two of you are meeting for lunch.

“Seokjin,” you chide and he shoots you an unimpressed look from over the top of his rice bowl.

“No, fuck him,” he says a little more vehemently, “First the unexplained disconnection, which, by the way, can physically make a person sick, and then he ghosts you, the most cowardly thing you can do, and then he sends you that vague ass text?  What the fuck does that even mean?  Give him time?  For what?  To get his foot out of his ass?”

His voice has started raising in his anger and even though it’s slightly embarrassing, as people throw him confused looks, it’s completely overshadowed by the appreciation you feel for him.  Seokjin has always been fiercely protective of you and had actually beat the fuck out of one of your ex-boyfriends when he started becoming abusive.

“I know,” you sigh, glancing down at your own food and realizing you’re not that hungry, “I just… I just want to know why.”

“Closure,” he nods, sagely, before loudly slurping up some noodles.

You nod, deciding you at least want one of his dumplings.  Seokjin must realize how terrible this whole thing has made you feel, because he doesn’t even try to stop you, and it makes you smile almost sadly.

-

from: ggukkie ♡

I understand you’re upset, but please just let me explain.

It’s been about a week since his last text and a week ago, during lunch with Seokjin you would have jumped at the chance to let Jeongguk explain.  Now though, you’re mad, and you don’t want to hear it.  You’re too old for childish games, especially with someone you weren’t even officially dating, and you’ve decided to let it go.  You swipe his message away, deciding that instead of connecting you’re going to go out to an old fashion bar.  You’re not planning on hooking up with anyone, because you’ve stopped taking your birth control since it started really messing with your hormones, but you want to enjoy the vibes.

You text Seokjin asking if he wants to meet you, but he apologizes and tells you he already made plans with his family.  He sends you an encouraging selfie and you laugh, but you make it your lock screen because it’s a really good picture of him.

The bar is about half an hour from your apartment and it’s surprisingly packed considering the popularity of connecting.  But you guess sometimes you can’t beat face to face interactions.  A few people give you once overs as you walk in and you give them polite smiles in return, but now that you’re here you just want a drink.

The bartender serves you your drink quickly and you smile at him as you turn in your seat, surveying the space.  A lot of people are walking around, taking advantage of the darts and pool tables set up, laughing and drinking with their friends.  It’s nice to see.  While you’re an advocate for connecting, even with your unsavory disconnection with Jeongguk, it still lacks intimacy.  You and Jeongguk have connected all over the world, logging into a beautiful hotel in Paris and a quaint little house in the suburbs of Japan and a skyrise apartment in New York, went snorkeling in the Bahamas and hiked to Machu Picchu and went on a cruise to Alaska, all in the time you connected.

But none of it was real.  You sigh heavily as you take another drink while the bartender passes by and catches it.

“Rough day?” he asks, stopping in front of you with a few bottles in his arms.

“No, it’s just been… yeah, a rough day,” you end up going with, followed by a small self-deprecating laugh.

“Do you want something else to drink?  Something a little stronger?” he asks, nodding at your almost empty glass.

“No, same thing, please.  I’m just looking to relax, not get shit-faced.  I really don’t want to deal with a hangover,” you grimace and he laughs, throwing his head back and almost losing his balance.  You worry about him for a second, but he quickly straightens himself, turning an almost blinding eye smile on you.

“College kids come in here and blow through a hundred dollars just in liquor and it makes me not miss my partying days.  Let me stock these and I’ll get you a refill.”

He’s cute.  You’re not interested, in the slightest, but you have eyes and you know he’s cute.  He throws you a quick wink and hustles off, talking to someone just down the bar.  You nurse the last bit of your drink, enjoying the music and chattering behind you, letting yourself sink into the atmosphere.

“Jeon Jeongguk!”

You pause for a moment, glass raised halfway to your mouth.  No way.  There’s no way life works like that; you’re not so lucky to get your serendipitous moment.  You turn to look at the woman who’s just stormed into the bar, mouth twisted into a fierce scowl.  You try not to be conspicuous and only follow her with her eyes, trying to see where she’s headed.  It has to be a different Jeon Jeongguk, it just has to be-

Your breath catches when you see him.  It is him.  Jeon Jeongguk.  Your connecting partner, who ghosted you almost two weeks ago, and who looks super unhappy sitting in a booth by himself.  He looks even unhappier to see the woman, his face morphing to match her scowl.

Your breathing has quickened as you watch them, the woman sliding into the booth across from him and flinging her hands around.  How did you not see him when you walked in?  You may have been slightly distracted, in your night of slight grieving, but you know you gave the place a once over when you arrived.  You’ve spent two weeks mourning the lack of Jeongguk’s presence and then cursing his existence.  How could you have missed him?

You have to leave.  You have to go right now, before he somehow sees you.  You don’t want to talk to him, you absolutely cannot talk to him.  If there’s one thing you know about yourself, it’s that Jeongguk’s doe eyes would make you commit unfathomable sins.  If he looks at you now, in this moment in time, in this place, you’ll cave.

You have to go.  You have to leave-

You stand hastily; too hastily.  The man sitting beside you, who’s been pounding back beers like it was his last day, is standing too and you run right into him, sending the both of you tottering.

“Sorry!” you gasp, trying to straighten him and yourself as you realize how loud your collision had been, “I’m so sorry!  I was just trying-”

The guy is grumbling at you, eyes bloodshot as he glares at you, and the hair on the back of your neck is standing up.  Not at the look the guy is giving you, you could care less about him, but because you hear angry shuffling behind you.  The voices are whispering rapid fire at each other and you think you can hear what sounds like hands gripping at clothes and quick footsteps and-

“Y/N…?” his voice sounds exactly the same as you remember.

Your eyes squeeze shut, heart slamming into your ribcage.  You feel bile rise to your throat as your fight or flight instincts kick in, and you want so badly to run, to not look at him and pretend this isn’t happening.  You’re so close to doing it, to running out of the bar and away from him, but you can hear a little voice in the back of your head that sounds suspiciously like Seokjin.  “Fuck him.”  The more you think about it, the more you agree: fuck him.

You turn slowly, to see Jeongguk standing just a few feet behind you, eyes impossibly wide and fingers twisting the hem of his shirt.  He’s dressed casually, more casually than you, and you’re not sure if it’s a trick of the light, but his cheeks look a little sunken in.  The woman who had charged in after him is standing behind him, fuming, physical steam almost coming out of her ears as she tries to get his attention.

“Jeongguk,” you say, your tone much more cool than you feel.

Jeongguk must be able to tell because his eyes bounce around your form, seemingly unable to figure out where it’s safe to look, “How, um… how have you been?”

“Jeongguk,” the woman behind him hisses, reaching out to grab at his arm, and he roughly shrugs her off, sending her a fiery glare over his shoulder.

“I’ve been better,” you say, a tad cold, “I would ask how you’re doing, but I don’t honestly care.”

He flinches and immediately grows desperate, reaching out towards you, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Y/N baby, please, just let me explain-”

You smack his hand away from you and the hurt on his face is so palpable it manifests in your own chest, “I don’t want to hear it, actually.  I’m over it.”

You’re aware that the three of you are starting to cause a scene, the woman still trying to get Jeongguk’s attention and Jeongguk resolutely ignoring her, entirely focused on you.  You’re getting a bit embarrassed by all the attention, but you realize this is something you need.  Seokjin had said it best: closure.

“I don’t blame you, I don’t!  But please, baby, just-”

“Stop calling me that!” you snap, “You - you lost that right, Jeongguk.  Do you know how foolish I felt?  After we disconnected?  Three days, Jeongguk, wondering and worrying if you were okay, and when you do text back it’s to ask for time?  Time for what?”

You run a quick hand through your hair, huffing out a laugh when you pathetically feel tears spring to your eyes, “I deserved better.  I understand we were just connecting, or whatever-”

“No!” Jeongguk lurches towards you, a seemingly mindless reaction because he seems surprised by it, but recovers quickly, “Don’t say that, please.  It was more than connecting for me, you have to believe me!”

The woman behind him lets out an indignant huff, apparently tired of being ignored and watching whatever is happening between you, “That’s enough Jeongguk, honestly.  Do you hear how pathetic you’re being right now?  Let’s just go home and talk about us and-” she reaches for him, again, but Jeongguk bodily dodges her hand.

“Ina, take a fucking hint!” he growls, turning on his heel to stare her down.  Ina rears back, eyes widening in shock at the vicious tone he’s taken with her, “What part of “we’re not getting back together” do you not understand?”

Her face clouds over and she snarls out, “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?!”

Jeongguk’s laughs, but there’s absolutely no humor in it, “Sorry?  You cheated on me!  You can’t say sorry for that!”

“Hey!”

The handsome bartender from earlier is leaning threateningly over the bar counter, his cellphone in hand, “Take it outside before I call the cops for a public disturbance.”

Ina looks like she’s about to snap something at him, but you stride over to the counter as you pull some money out of your purse, thankful that Seokjin had been an old man and paid you back for buying his lunch with cash.  Who even carries cash on them anymore?

“I’m so sorry,” you say in a quick, hushed tone to the bartender, “Keep the change, a tip, we’re leaving now.”

“Are you okay?” he asks you, quickly, before you can leave, stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, “Do you need me to call you someone?”

You realize you’re shaking, and you give him a genuine smile at his concern, “I’m okay, thank you.”

He doesn’t let go for a few more seconds, but finally nods, watching the three of you intently as you stalk out of the bar, Jeongguk following desperately behind you and Ina stomping after him.

“Y/N, can we please-” Jeongguk tries but you continue to stalk down the road, “Please!”

“Jeongguk, just leave her alone, it’s obvious she doesn’t care about you!”

The words fly out of your mouth before you’ve even thought about them, “Don’t you fucking tell me how I feel about Jeongguk!  You don’t know me!  You don’t know anything about Jeongguk and I’s relationship and from what it sounds like,” you spit out, glaring at her, “you don’t care about Jeongguk either.”

You didn’t realize how close you’d gotten to Ina until Jeongguk is stepping between you, hands held up placatingly.  You wonder what you’re hearing until you realize it’s you, that you’re panting heavily, almost like you’re about to have a panic attack.

“Baby, look at me,” Jeongguk says softly, “It’s okay, don’t worry about her, just look at me, focus on me.  Regulate your breathing or-”

“Jeongguk,” Ina says behind Jeongguk and Jeongguk turns sharply to face her.  It makes her mouth click shut with an audible click.

“Ina, shut your goddamn mouth,” he growls, sending a fearful shiver down your spine at the absolute malice in his voice.  When he turns back to you, his face has smoothed back out and his voice has softened, “Count as you breathe, let’s do four counts okay?”

Jeongguk talks you down, holding eye contact as he walks you through the counts, not touching you but his hands clearly available if you need them.  It’s a little embarrassing, but it’s not something Jeongguk hasn’t seen before.

“There we go.  Feeling okay?” Jeongguk asks sweetly, eyes tracing over your face like he can’t get enough of it.

“A little tired,” you admit, before you take a conscious step back, “I should probably go home.”

The desperation returns to Jeongguk’s eyes at the deliberate space between you two and the way you’ve closed your body off to him with your arms crossed in front of your chest.  He ignores Ina standing behind him, who hasn’t said anything since his outburst but hasn’t left either.

“Yeah, it’s late,” he says, voice resigned but the sadness evident on his face, “Do you want me to order you an Uber?”

You shake your head, pulling your phone out to do it yourself, and Jeongguk doesn’t take his eyes off you, ordering his own Uber.

“Y/N,” he says, and you brace yourself for more begging, but he just says, “Would you… would you please let me know when you get home safe?  I won’t even text you back or anything, I just- I just need to know you get back okay.”

You look at him for a moment, really look at him.  In the bar you had been eager to get away from him and so you had noticed the sunken cheeks and the casual clothes, but now, you really take him in.  His hair is longer, curling cutely around his ears as he pushes it out of his eyes.  His tattoos are real, not a customized skin he purchased for connecting, and though most of them are hidden, you can see the ones inked across his knuckles and on the back of his hand.  His eyes are round and sparkly in the shitty street light, boring holes into you as he refuses to look away from you.

This is the Jeongguk you’ve been connecting with for weeks, months, with the sweet eyes and sweeter voice, and you can feel the love you have for him throbbing almost painfully in your heart, desperate to understand.  Desperate to ask why?

You give him a minute nod, letting him know you’ll do that, and he doesn’t even try to hide the relief on his face.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, raking his hands through his hair again.  You realize how oily it is and you wonder if he’s been taking care of himself properly.

Your Ubers arrive at the same time and though you don’t want to, the sadistic part of you lingers for a moment, digging through your purse with a thinly veiled excuse at making sure you have everything, to watch them leave together.

They don’t.  Jeongguk opens the door for Ina and gestures her inside.  She looks smug, like she’s won something, and you wish you could see the look on her face when Jeongguk shuts the door without getting in.  He gestures something to the driver and the Uber takes off, and you get a sick sort of satisfaction seeing a brief moment of absolute incredulousness on her face as she passes under a lamppost.

You turn to look at Jeongguk, who’s watching you with his hands shoved in his pockets.  You feel so confused and you’re so tired from the rush of adrenaline your almost panic attack had given you, that you can feel tears welling up again.

“What about you?” you ask, voice shaky, and Jeongguk frowns at you.

“I’ll just get another one.  Please go home, it’s late and you sound tired,” he steps closer, hesitantly, and you allow it.

“I am tired.  I’m so tired, Jeongguk,” you sigh, wiping some moisture away from your eye, before you open the door and slide inside.

You don’t look at him again, as the door shuts softly.  But you’re weak, and you’ve always been weak.  As the car pulls away from the curb, you turn in your seat to see Jeongguk standing under a solitary light, watching your car drive away with his hands still in his pockets, and you cry.

By the time you get home, you’re so exhausted you can barely keep your eyes open.  You do a half-assed job of cleaning your face and you don’t bother putting on pajamas after you undress so you just crash onto your bed.  Almost all the tension in your body flooding out of you as you sink into your duvet.

You glance at your phone, plugged in on your bedside table, and drag it to you.  You sent him a simple text, just a home, and there’s a little read checkmark beneath the phone.  He said he wouldn’t text you back and he hasn’t and even though he kept his word, it hurts, and you cry again.

-

You didn’t drink so you wouldn’t have a headache but unfortunately, crying yourself to sleep has left you dehydrated and with puffy eyes.  You thought you were over it but seeing Jeongguk in person last night had just smashed that little glass jar you were trying to bottle your feelings in and you don’t know what to do.  And what the fuck was Ina’s problem?

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as you toss your phone back and forth in your hands, deliberating.  A few texts couldn’t hurt, could they?  You have questions, and you want answers to them.  Closure.  He said he wanted to talk, so, you’d let him talk.

Hopefully you’d come out of it in one piece.

Your text is simple enough, just I have questions, and it warrants an almost immediate response.

from: ggukkie ♡

Of course baby whatever you want to know, ask

Now that he’s opened the door, you’re drawing a blank, because there’s so much but how do you ask?  How do you ask him why you weren’t good enough?

from: ggukkie ♡

Can I call you?

That feels like too much, like you’re opening yourself up to him for him to take advantage of you.  But… you press the phone icon before you can second guess yourself and you’ve barely gotten it up to your ear when it connects.

“Y/N…?” he asks, almost sounding afraid, like someone is playing a trick on him and it’s not actually you on the line.

“Jeongguk,” you greet and he lets a deep exhale out in response.

“Sorry, I just… need a second,” he whispers, voice shaky, and you wonder for a moment if he’s crying, or close to it.

You don’t say anything and the silence stretches on, burrowing under your skin and pricking at your nerves, your heart beating wildly in your chest.  You hear a few sniffles on his end and it confirms your fear, that he’s crying softly to himself.

“I didn’t think you’d talk to me again,” he finally admits, still whispering, voice stuck in his throat, “I thought watching you leave last night that that was it, that it was officially over for us.”

His words have your own tears springing forth and you’re so tired of this, this game you two have been playing for the past few weeks.

“Why?” you sob out and Jeongguk breaks down on his own end.

“Baby, please don’t cry,” he begs but it makes it worse, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Gumdrop meows loudly from the living room and you hear the jingle of her collar as she pitter patters down the hallway to you, spurred on by your cries.  She’s already purring by the time she jumps up on your bed, headbutting into your hand to pet her.

“Who is she?” you ask, hands curling into your comforter.

“Ina’s no one,” he’s quick to assure you, “She’s an ex, and an ex for a reason.  Ina doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”

“She doesn’t seem to think so,” you bite out, “She followed you to the bar and she must have followed you for a reason.”

Jeongguk is silent for a few moments and your heart plummets.  Finally, he lets out a shaky sigh.

“My brother got into an accident, that day,” he finally says, voice void of any emotion.

It feels like someone crushes your heart with a sledgehammer, knocking the air out of you.  You don’t say anything, can’t, and Jeongguk continues.

“The knocking was, um… my mom,” Jeongguk stops for a moment, choked up, “She came to get me, so we could go to the hospital.  It was a pretty serious accident and we’ve been trying to clear up a lot of things with insurance and his work.”

“Gguk…” you cry, pressing a hand to your eyes as Gumdrop cuddles up in your armpit, purring up a storm.

“Mom and dad have been staying with him as much as they can,” he continues, “and I’ve… I’ve been taking care of his daughter.”

You feel awful.  This whole time you’ve assumed that he was ghosting you, when really he had been dealing with some serious family issues and you… had been a complete asshole to him about it.

“Is Jeongyun okay?” you croak out, turning onto your side and curling around Gumdrop.

Jeongguk is silent for a moment, before he says softly, “He suffered some pretty serious spinal injuries and they’re… they’re not sure if he’ll ever be able to walk again…”

“Oh Gguk-ah,” you sob, pressing a hand over your eyes like that’s going to staunch the tears.

“Yeah…” he says simply, because what else do you say when your entire world is crumbling down around you?

“How’s his daughter?”

“Confused,” he says, “she’s only six and we haven’t let her go visit him, so she’s constantly asking where her dad is.  I’m just… not sure what to tell her, and I don’t know how to explain the situation to her.”

“That’s understandable,” you assure, “I couldn’t imagine trying to comprehend how hurt my dad was.  What’s her name?”

“Iseul,” he tells you, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he says it, “she’s beautiful, and funny, and smart.  Looks a lot like Jeongyun.”

“And… and her mom?”

“She decided she couldn’t handle taking care of a child and she and Jeongyun decided it was best if she wasn’t around at all.  The agreement works for both of them, I think she moved out of the country for her job actually, I’m not sure.  Iseul doesn’t seem to care, but we’re waiting for her to start asking about her one day, especially now that she’s started school.”

“I’m glad things have worked out for them.  It’s good to hear that their split sounds amicable,” you say softly, patting at the residual tears on your cheeks, running your fingers down Gumdrop’s spine.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk heaves out a heavy sigh, “it’s been tough.  We all try to pitch in to babysit Iseul when Jeongyun has to work, so I see her a lot.”

“Are… are you with Iseul now?” you ask, wondering if you’ve put Jeongguk in an uncomfortable position demanding answers when he’s trying to take care of his family.

“No, mom and dad watched her last night.  But moms dropping her off tonight so they can go to the hospital.”

You hum, letting the silence drag on.  It’s almost nice… nostalgic in a way that memories shouldn’t feel only being two weeks old.  But it almost feels normal, like how you and Jeongguk used to talk.  If you had known Jeongguk had lived close by, you might have asked to meet in person sooner, but you had grown so comfortable in what you two had that you hadn’t wanted to rock the boat.  Now, you kind of wish you had.

You can’t help but ask, “What does Ina have to do with all this?”

Jeongguk groans in disdain and you want to laugh, as you can imagine the arm he has thrown over his eyes, “She’s a pain in the ass.  Mom must have told her mom about the accident and Ina must have thought this would be our way of "reconnecting."”

Jeongguk huffs and you smile a sad little thing as he continues, “Our parents have been friends for years and they finally introduced us at the start of college when they learned we got accepted to the same one.  We didn’t date immediately, we actually didn’t start until our senior year and well… you heard last night.  She cheated on me.”

You frown on your end, and he continues, “It’s been a few years and I’m over it, but I guess she’s not.  I don’t really care though, I have no interest in being with her.”

You nod, aware he can’t see you, but unsure of what else to say.  He’s answered all of your questions and now you just feel like a fool.  All of this could have been avoided if you had just asked, but instead, you had let yourself make assumptions and caused yourself, and Jeongguk, unnecessary pain.

“Baby…?”

“Sorry, I’m here,” you whisper, pressing a soft kiss to Gumdrop’s head, thankful for her support.

“What are you thinking?” he asks, softly, almost like he’s afraid of what you’re going to say.

“I’m thinking that I’m a fucking idiot,” you chastise yourself, and Jeongguk hums in discontent over the line.

“You’re not an idiot,” he counters and you snort a self-deprecating sound, “it’s okay, I understand-”

“Shut up, it’s not.  Gguk-ah I’m so sorry, I should have- I don’t know what I should have done.  Listened?  Gave you time like you asked?” you’re back to crying, softly this time, frustrated with yourself.

Jeongguk coos at you, “Baby, it’s okay, I’m not mad.  I just… I just miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you admit, “so much.”

“If- If you have time, I’d like to connect-”

“No,” you cut him off and he trails off, heaving a sigh.

“Ah, sorry, I must have misunderstood-”

“I want to see you, in person,” you finish and he trails off again, “we have to live semi close to each other, if we were at the same bar last night, right?  I’d like to actually see you again, if you’re okay with it.”

“Okay with it?  Baby, I’d love to see you in person again.  Tonight, if you want,” Jeongguk offers and you’re surprised, to say the least.

“But, you’re going to have Iseul tonight,” you remind him.

“And?  Y/N, I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me.  I wanted to introduce you to my family one day anyway, why not start with her?”

You’re quiet for a moment, and Jeongguk misinterprets the silence, “If you don’t feel comfortable with it, we can meet up somewhere-”

“Do you want me to bring anything?” you interrupt, and you can practically see the smile on his face.

-

“I don’t go out with you for one night and all this shit happens,” Seokjin gripes in your ear piece and you giggle, bundled up on the subway as you head to Jeongguk’s apartment.

Jeongguk doesn’t live particularly close to you, but it’s not a long subway ride.  He, apparently, had picked that bar because he thought it was far enough from his apartment that Ina would leave him alone.  And well, that didn’t exactly work out for him.

“Yeah it was a wild night, I’ll say that,” you agree, purse snug in your lap.  Jeongguk had told you not to worry about bringing anything and you feel vaguely weird being empty handed.

“Are you sure about this?” Seokjin asks you, “About giving him another chance?  I don’t think he’s lying but…”

You smile, always appreciative of your best friend, “I am.  I should have just heard him out in the first place and these past two weeks would never have happened.  I’ve missed him, so much Jinnie.”

“I know, I just worry about you.  I’ll still fight him if you need me too!  I haven’t been going to the gym for nothing you know,” you can just imagine Seokjin exaggeratedly flexing his biceps and you laugh, perking up when you hear the announcement for your stop.

“I know and you’re getting so thick I think I’m starting to find you attractive,” you tease, fighting your way off the train.

“Starting?  Ha!  You’ve always found me hot, don’t even try to lie.  Hopefully Jeongguk knows he’s always going to be second fiddle when I’m around.”

You roll your eyes good naturedly, “How does Mina put up with you?”

“I dick her down good enough that she can ignore anything else I say.  Also, I cook.  Do you know she got mad at me the other day?  Told me I’m trying to fatten her up so no one else will want her, as if she still wouldn’t be the hottest babe in town, honestly.”

You smile at how in love Seokjin sounds just thinking about his girlfriend, “You are so dramatic.  I’m going to go before you wax poetic about Mina’s ass.”

“Hey, I love her for more than just her body!  Did I tell you she beat me at thumb wrestling the other day?  She also kills all the bugs I don’t want to touch.  She’s going to be the mother of my children all while being a boss bitch at work.  Oh!  She’s applied for a promotion and she’s a shoe in.  If she doesn’t get it, I’m going to burn her work down,” Seokjin drones, sounding so serious for a moment you don’t doubt that he will.

“I’m sure she’ll get it, she’s so good at her job!  They’d be dumb not to give it to her.  I’m going to check in with her later, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?  It’s half-priced smoothies, don’t forget!”

Seokjin makes an exaggerated moaning sound and you laugh, hanging up on him.  It’s a ten minute walk to Jeongguk’s apartment from the subway and the closer you get, the stronger the butterflies in your stomach stir.  It’s not nervousness, but excitement.  You’re so excited to see Jeongguk you think you’re going to be sick.

HIs apartment doesn’t have a buzzer, so you walk in and up the stairs.  Thankfully, he only lives on the second floor, so you aren’t wheezing by the time you reach his door.  You bite your lip as you ring his doorbell, immediately hearing what sounds like someone running.

The door swings open quickly and you barely have time to open your mouth before Jeongguk has hoisted you into the air, crushing you to him.

“Oh,” you gasp, arms wrapping tight around him as you’re knocked off your equilibrium for a moment, “Gguk-ah, what-?”

He has his face buried in your neck, staying still in the doorway and leaving you two looking like a couple of idiots to anybody who could potentially walk by.  But you don’t really care about that when you register how warm he feels under you, his hair brushing against your nose and smelling like strawberry shampoo.  His sweatshirt is soft in your hands and you run a hand up and down his back when you feel him shaking against you slightly.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers wetly into your skin.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling the tears well up in them as you hold onto him tight, glad to be there too.

When Jeongguk finally sets you down, his eyes are red rimmed.  He’s close to tears but he’s smiling, his hands coming up to frame your face and tilt it towards him.

“Hi baby,” he sighs, eyes darting across your face, thumps sweeping under your eyes lovingly.

You thought it would feel weird, seeing him in person, actually seeing him instead of connecting.  But it doesn’t.  Nanotech is advanced and the body under your fingertips doesn’t feel any different in the flesh than it did simulated but knowing it’s Jeongguk, that it’s really him, causes your heart to beat faster.

“Gguk-ah,” you smile, though you’re a little embarrassed at how intently he’s staring you down, trying to hide your face.

“Aw, is my baby getting shy?” he teases, pulling you closer to him so he can shut the door, “That’s so cute.”

“Stop,” you whine, letting Jeongguk help you out of your windbreaker and step out of your shoes, as he laughs at you.

He pulls you farther into his apartment, which looks so clean you think you could eat off the floor.  Jeongguk leads you to the living room, softly pushing you down onto his couch and practically diving onto you.  You squeal a little as you two bounce and it morphs into a giggle as Jeongguk wraps tight arms around you, turning his head so he can place his ear right on top of your heart.

It’s a position you’ve been in many times with him.  Jeongguk is an avid post-coitus cuddler, wrapping himself like an octopus around you as he basks in the afterglow.  He liked the closeness, he told you once, the retained intimacy afterwards that helped with his headspace.  You never minded because you like cuddling too, and you like running your hands through his hair and brushing soft fingers down his cheek and neck.

Jeongguk sighs heavily on top of you and you can feel the tension slowly easing out of his body, his arms going lax and his slow blinks, staring unseeingly at the TV.

“You look tired, Gguk-ah,” you say softly and he hums into your neck, pressing the softest kiss against your skin.

“I… didn’t sleep well, last night,” he admits and your heart aches, knowing you were the reason, that you were adding unnecessary stress to his already stressful situation.

“Take a nap, baby,” you encourage, and Jeongguk glances up at you.  Jesus Christ, those eyes; they hold the entire galaxy in them, “I’ll wake you up before Iseul gets here.”

“Mom’s dropping her off at five,” he mumbles, already starting to drift.

You kiss the top of his head, squeezing him a little as you say, “Okay, I’ll wake you up half an hour before then.  Sleep.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, but the smile on his lips is sweet.

It’s a good two and a half hour nap, and you spend the time just (a little creepily, you’re willing to admit) watching him, eyes tracing over his face like you can’t get enough.  And you truly can’t.

Connecting is safe, for sexual reasons, but there’s still the chance that people alter their connecting appearances.  Jeongguk hadn’t done that and you can’t believe that he’s actually this handsome, all tan skin and toned muscles, hair a deep chestnut color and eyes as big as a doe’s.  You thought he must have purchased some sort of skin or body modifications, though you believed he was truly handsome, but this is a whole other level.  You hope he’s not disappointed learning you hadn’t customized yourself, either.

Jeongguk snuffles against your skin as you run your hand up and down his back, under his shirt, skin warm under your palm.  He’s starting to wake up, without you having to disturb him, and you smile as you kiss his temple.  He smiles sleepily, blinking loving eyes up at you.

“You’re still here,” he rasps, voice scratchy from disuse.

“Of course,” you whisper back, pressing a kiss between his eyes, before nuzzling your noses together, “of course I’m still here.”

He hums happily, basking in the kisses you scatter across his face, making exaggerated sounds as you do.

“Time to get up,” you remind him, “Your mom is going to be dropping Iseul off soon.”

“She has a key, she can let herself in,” he grumbles, burrowing further into your arms, trying to mold himself to you so there’s no space between you.

“Gguk-ah,” you laugh, smoothing some hair behind his ear.  He still looks tired so you don’t push it, “your hair has gotten long.”

“Mhm.  I’ve never had it this long, but I think I like it.”

“It suits you,” you gather some of it up in your hands and snicker a little, “look, apple hair.”

Jeongguk just smiles a little wider, letting you mess around with his hair, not even fighting you as you wrestle the hair tie off his wrist.

“Man bun…” you murmur to yourself, snapping the hair tie in place, “you look like an e-boy now.”

Jeongguk pinches your side in retaliation as he finally starts to stir and stand and you squeal, squirming away from his hands.  You watch him stretch upwards, his fingertips brushing the ceiling as he cracks his back.  You let your eyes linger on the strip of skin that shows when he stretches, knowing the ink on his hip is hidden beneath the waistband.

Jeongguk doesn’t call you out on your gaze, but he does smirk at you as he muses up the hair that you didn’t put up.

“Want something to drink?” he asks, scratching at his stomach as he starts towards the kitchen.

“Sure.  Water, please,” you request and you see him nod as you sit up on the couch, wiggling your feet under one of the couch cushions.

Just as Jeongguk hands you a glass, there’s a knock on his door.  Before he can even say anything, the door is opening and a soft, little voice is calling out, “Ggukkie!”

A wide grin blossoms on Jeongguk’s face and he turns around just as a little body barrels towards him, knocking her face against his knees a little roughly.

“Woah!” Jeongguk wobbles a little from the force, “Hey, Itsy.”

This must be Iseul.  You smile as she lifts her face to beam at her and you can see the family resemblance.

“Gguk, can you help with these bags?” it must be his mom calling out from the doorway.

You’re up before Jeongguk can address her, patting his shoulder as you pass by.  Iseul gets a little shy and hides back in Jeongguk’s legs, barely reaching his waist, peeking up at you in curiosity.

Jeongguk’s mom gives you a startled look as you take some bags out her hands, giving her a small smile, “Here, let me help you.”

“Oh, thank you…”

She’s delivering groceries and you take them to the kitchen, helping her pile them on the counter before you shoo her away, “I can put these away, go see Gguk-ah.”

She surveys you for a moment, but you’re adamant and she eventually concedes.  Jeongguk’s apartment isn’t that big, so you can hear what she says when she reaches him.

“Gguk, who is that?” she’s trying to ask quietly but her voice gets back to you anyway.

“Mom, that’s Y/N, I’ve told you about her,” he laughs a little and you smile to yourself.

“Y/N?!  And you didn’t tell me she was here?!  Gguk, I would have brushed my hair!”

He laughs louder at her, “Mom, you look fine, and I’m sure she doesn’t care.”

“Still…” you can only imagine the pout on her face from her tone of voice.

She mainly brought quick dry goods, so once those are put away and you store the milk, you’re done.  You’re a little hesitant about going back out to meet them, but you’ve avoided talking to people long enough.

Jeongguk’s mom offers you a brilliant smile once you exit the kitchen, and hurries forward to take your hands, “Y/N!  It’s so nice to meet you!  Gguk has told me so much about you.”

You blush a little as you take her in.  She looks tired, probably from the stress of her son being in the hospital and trying to navigate that situation, but you can see the resemblance to Jeongguk, mainly in the eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” you cut your eyes to Iseul, who Jeongguk is now holding in his arms, and decide to not say anything about Jeongyun, “I hope it’s okay that I hang out with Gguk-ah and Iseul today.”

“Of course!  I wish I could stay and chat, but I have… something to do.”

You nod, completely understanding, and she continues as she squeezes your hands, “But I’d love for us to have dinner together someday, all of us.  Anyone Gguk is so smitten with is someone I want to get to know.”

“Mom!” Jeongguk whines, making Iseul giggle.

You’re surprised when his mom pulls you into a hug but you lean into it, as she rocks you two in place for a few seconds, “I have to get going now, but we’ll talk about that dinner.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” you tell her honestly and her smile widens, if possible.

She turns on her heels to press a kiss to Iseul’s cheek and then Jeongguk’s, “You behave yourself.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she does,” Jeongguk nods at her.

“I was talking about you,” his mom teases and Iseul giggles at her, patting at Jeongguk’s arms to let her down, “I’ll pick Iseul up later tonight, make sure she eats dinner before I do.”

“I got this mom, go,” Jeongguk nudges her along gently and she lets him, giving you a little wave before she’s out the door.

Iseul is a sweetheart.  She’s a little shy around you at first, but she warms up quickly when she sees how comfortable Jeongguk is around you, making you a trustful figure in her eyes.  She has a bad habit of sucking her thumb and trying to talk around it, but she’s a cute kid that has Jeongguk wrapped around her little finger.

She insists on helping you two cook dinner, which means she sits on the counter and demands to taste test every few minutes, happily swinging her feet.  Jeongguk keeps sneaking little kisses, even though you reprimanded him the first time for PDA in front of his niece.  Iseul doesn’t seem to care about that, but she does demand her own kisses that Jeongguk willingly covers her face in.

Iseul wants to take a bath and Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate, leaving you two in the living room to draw it for her.

“Ggukkie is a good uncle,” she suddenly declares, snuggly settled in your lap and twisting the ring on your finger.

“Yeah?  You guys have fun when you’re together?” you ask her gently, stroking a hand through her hair.  It’s long; you wonder if she’d let you braid it once she was out of the bath.

She grins as she leans into your touch, “Yeah, Ggukkie is fun.  He lets me stay up past my bedtime and eat ice cream when gramma says no.  He’s also the only one who will play airplane with me.”

You hum, hearing Jeongguk padding back to the living room.  Iseul perks up at the sound and slides off your lap, tugging on your hand to pull you up.

“Okay Itsy, let’s go.”

You’re surprised she wants you to go with her, but you help steady her as she shucks her clothes off before she practically swan dives into the tub.

“Itsy, careful!” Jeongguk scolds, settling down on the floor and pulling you down beside him, “If you break your neck, gramma will have mine.”

She grins at him, smacking the water a few times before she turns a sweet gaze towards you, “Y/Nie, will you wash my hair for me?”

You’re soaked by the time Iseul has decided she’s done, letting you wrap her up tight in an oversized, fluffy towel as Jeongguk brushes gently through the tangles in her hair.

“Iseul, can I braid your hair?” you ask and she gasps, clapping her hands.

“Yes!  Daddy can’t braid.”

You do two french braids and braid them into each other in the back, before you roll it up and pin it in place.

“When we let it down when it dries, you’ll have the cutest curls.”

“Princess curls?” she asks, tilting her head in the mirror as she looks at herself, “Can I have my tiara?”

“Your tiara isn’t here, babe, it’s at gramma’s,” Jeongguk informs her, hoisting her up into her arms, “c’mon, let’s get you dressed.  You should still have some pjs here.”

“Pjs?  It’s not even bedtime,” she frowns, but doesn’t put up a fight as he walks out of the room.

“So?  There’s never a bad time to wear pjs,” he argues with her, and you snicker to yourself as their bickering tapers off as they enter his bedroom.

For a little girl who claimed it’s not bedtime, her drooping eyes deceiving her.  She looks adorable dressed in some Ponyo pajamas, something Jeongguk proudly claimed he picked out for her.  She’s curled up in Jeongguk’s lap, sucking gently on her thumb as she tries to pay attention to the cartoon he put on for her, snuggled under a blanket he had wrapped around them.  You’re watching them fondly, the way Jeongguk strokes from the nape of her neck down her spine and then back up.  The way he’s humming softly and pressing periodic kisses to her forehead.

She doesn’t last long under his ministrations, her eyes drifting shut one more time and not reopening.  You watch as her body goes lax in his hold and her breaths even out, her thumb slowly falling out of her mouth.

“Works every time,” he smiles, standing up gently so as to not jostle her, “I’m going to go lay her down, I’ll be right back.”

You smile and nod, watching him turn the corner of the living room.  You clean up the toys Iseul has strewn around the room, folding the blanket back up and turning the TV off.  You check the kitchen, just to make sure the dishes from dinner are actually done, and just as you turn back into the living room you see Jeongguk standing in the middle of it, back to you and hands in his hair.

You’re not sure what he’s doing but you’re quiet as you sneak up behind him, before you wrap your arms around his middle.  He jumps and turns his head towards you, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, not wanting to wake Iseul.

“I- yeah.  I um, thought you had left,” he says, just as quietly, if not more, almost like he’s afraid to admit it.  Your heart pangs for him, aware of what you’ve done to him.

“I’m not leaving, not this time, not again,” you promise him and Jeongguk grabs ahold of your hands, holding them to his chest like a lifeline.

You stand there for a few moments, just holding him to you, breathing him in softly.  You’ve been such an idiot.

“I’m really sorry, Gguk,” you start and Jeongguk goes rigid in your arms, “that I was so selfish and never let you explain.”

“Y/N…” he breathes out and you shake your head against his back, letting go of him so you can slowly turn him to face you.

“I didn’t mean to make your trauma about me,” you reach up and place your hand on his cheek, trying to convey to him how sorry you are, “I made an already shitty situation that much more difficult and I am so, so sorry Gguk-ah, that I was so selfish, and that I didn’t stop to think about you at all.  About what might have happened and about how you were feeling.  And I just- I can never make it up to you, but I can start by never leaving you again.”

Jeongguk places light hands on your waist, eyes hooded as he stares down at you.  His eyes trace over your face, a small smile on his face.

“I love you,” he tells you and you start crying, “Aw, baby, don’t cry.  Is me loving you really that bad?”

He’s teasing you and you push his chest lightly, though it doesn’t even phase him, “Shut up!  H-How can you say that after what I’ve done?”

Jeongguk hums to himself as he pulls you to him, letting you bury your face in his neck as you sob, “You may be right, in that it was selfish, but I guess, in a way, I understand.”

You’re shaking your head but he’s shushing you, tangling his fingers in your hair, “Jeongyun’s accident made me realize that life is short and that anything can happen.  Being away from you for so long is not something I ever want to do again.  I can forgive you for the past two weeks, as long as we agree that we have to talk, about anything and everything that bothers us.  You can’t shut me out like that again, okay?”

You blubber into his neck, nodding your head, wrapping your arms tightly around him.  Jeongguk holds you, seemingly content to just have you with him.  He’s humming to you, like he was humming to Iseul, and you don’t know what the song is but it’s soothing.  When you pull away from him to wipe at your face, he does it for you, pressing kisses after the tears are gone.

“No more tears, baby,” he tells you, before he kisses your mouth, your lips fitting together snuggly, “there’ve been enough tears in the past few weeks, I can’t bear to see anymore.”

You nod and he wipes the last few dripping tears off your face, pressing more kisses to your face as he sways you both back and forth.

“Can’t believe I had to take care of two babies tonight,” he teases and you splutter, pushing at his chest again.

“Don’t make fun of me!” you whine and he laughs, loudly, before you shush him, reminding him of Iseul.

“Why did you clean the living room up?” he asks, leading you back to the couch.

He doesn’t have to push you down; you sit down and make grabby hands at him and Jeongguk eagerly goes, smiling happily as he settles comfortably on top of you, threading your fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“I figured since Iseul was down for the night, I’d leave,” you explain.

“No,” Jeongguk pouts, “didn’t you just tell me you’d never leave again?”

“I-I meant your life and you, I didn’t mean… your apartment!” you sound a little scandalized and Jeongguk grins against your skin, scraping his teeth across it.

“Nope, too late, you live here now.  I’ll call my landlord in the morning and get you added to the lease, rent is due by the fifth.”

You just laugh at him, bundling Jeongguk in your arms and trying to smother him in your chest.  He takes it in stride, biting tiny marks into your skin that he admires in the low light.

With a small kiss to your sternum he says, “I’m serious, you know.”

“About what?” you ask, brushing his hair from his eyes.  His bun is still in tact, but it’s getting loose and you tighten it for him.

“About moving in.  You could, if you wanted,” he says, no trace of humor in his voice, “tomorrow, if you wanted.”

You blink at him, toying with the tuft of hair on the back of his head, unsure of what to say.  You finally come up with, “But my lease isn’t up for three more months.”

“Then in three months,” he says, immediately.

“You don’t think that’s too… fast?” you ask, tentatively, keeping a hold on Jeongguk’s hair so he can’t turn his head and look at you, though he tries, “We’ve only just physically met.”

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he mumbles, “don’t let me guilt you into anything, but just think about it.  If you don’t want to, just renew your lease, I’ll understand.  But I want you here, with me.  I don’t care that this is the first time we’ve actually met, the things I feel for you don’t exist in the vacuum of connecting.  They’re real and they squeeze my heart so tightly sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating.  I don’t wanna be without you.”

You tuck your face into his hair, wetly telling him, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask for,” he squeezes you in return.

You hold each other until you hear his front door opening, and you panic, not wanting his mother to see you two wrapped around each other.  Jeongguk whines at you, keeping you held down in place.

His mom laughs when she walks into the room, Jeongguk pouting petulantly up at her while you give her a wide eyed stare.

“Iseul sleeping?” she asks tenderly, shutting the door softly behind her, “Is she in your room?”

Jeongguk nods, “Yeah.  She’s been asleep for about half an hour now.  She ate dinner really well and took a bath.  Her hair is still probably wet.”

She hums as she pads down the hallway and you immediately start poking Jeongguk in the stomach.

“Get up you ridiculous oaf!” you hiss, trying to push him up, “Your mother is here!”

“This didn’t bother you when Iseul was in the next room!” he retaliates, and his octopus arms somehow find space to tighten even more around you.

“She was sleeping!” you counter and you continue to push at him, but you do nothing more than tire yourself out and he doesn’t even budge an inch.

“It’s fine.  She’s walked in on my jerking off before, so this is pretty tame,” he says, casually, and you groan.

“I hate that.  Why would you tell me that?” you complain, collapsing back onto the couch.

You can hear Iseul and his mom coming back down the hall, Iseul’s little voice laced with sleep still as she recounts exactly what Jeongguk had told her.

“I hope she doesn’t rat me out about the ice cream,” he suddenly whispers, body going rigid for a moment as he thinks of the ass reaming he could get if she tattles.

“Did you have a fun time with Ggukkie and Y/Nie?” his mom asks quietly, stopping in the living room with Iseul tucked securely in her arms.

“The bestest time,” Iseul nods, grinning at the two of you, patting at her gramma’s arms to be let down.

Jeongguk finally sits up to accept her hug and you take the opportunity to quickly sit up, crossing your legs underneath you.  Jeongguk gives you a disgruntled look, even as he pulls Iseul into his lap and presses a kiss against her temple.

“Glad I got to spend time with you today, Itsy,” he tells her, booping their noses together and she giggles, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“M’kay.  Bye Ggukkie, love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” he smiles softly at her, setting her gently back on the ground.

To your surprise she toddles over to you, climbing clumsily into your lap and wrapping her arms around your neck.

“Bye, Y/Nie,” she sleepily kisses your cheek and you practically melt against her.

“Bye Iseul, sleep well, okay?  I hope you like your princess curls in the morning,” you tell her, kissing her cheek in return, and she smiles happily, patting at her hair.

“C’mon baby, we have to get you home.  You have school in the morning.”

Iseul doesn’t fight it, just goes back to her gramma and lets herself be bundled up for the weather.

“Okay, gotta get munchkin home.  I’ll see you two later.  And Y/N, I was serious about that dinner.”

You grin at her, nodding, “I was too.”

She grins back at you and waves.  Iseul copies her and waves too and when the door closes, the way Jeongguk body tenses has you springing up.  You’re glad you did because Jeongguk pounces on the cushion you were just sitting on, looking surprised when you’re not there.

“Hey!” he turns to you, “Where are you going?  Come back.”

“Gguk-ah, I have to go home,” you say placatingly, “Gumdrop is waiting on me.”

He pouts as he follows you to the door, almost completely plastered to your back.  He hinders more than he helps as you put your windbreaker and shoes back on.  He’s still pouting when you finally shrug him off, letting him pull you into a frontal hug.

“Now who’s the baby?” you tease, thumbing at his lower lip that he bites lightly at.  You act affronted but still accept the kiss he gives you, even if it lingers, “Gguk-ah I really do need to go.”

“Fine.  But come back tomorrow.”

“Gguk-ah, I work tomorrow,” you laugh, chiding him a bit, “we can have dinner tomorrow, okay?  You can come over and finally meet Gumdrop.  I just want you to know that if she doesn’t like you, though, we’re over.  Her word is law.”

Jeongguk lets out a disbelieving laugh, pulling you into another kiss, hands framing your face sweetly.  You smile as you indulge him, pressing repeated kisses against his willing mouth.  You internally roll your eyes when you feel his hand creeping down your back, settling on your lower back.

“Okay, stop trying to distract me I have to go now,” you admonish, pushing him away from you as he looks very close to stomping his foot.

“Damn, I was hoping the longer I kissed you the easier it’d be to get you out of your clothes.”

Now you really roll your eyes and Jeongguk laughs at you, “Fine, fine, fine.  Dinner, tomorrow.  I’ll meet you at your apartment.  What kind of treats does Gumdrop like?”

“Treats?  Why?”

“Gotta bribe her to make sure she likes me,” he shrugs and you scoff, “Text me when you get home, though.  Are you taking the subway back?  Should I drive you home?”

You shake your head, smiling, “No, Gguk-ah, it’s okay.  I’ll text you when I get back.”

He nods and finally lets you go, watching with a frown as you open the door.

“Don’t worry Gguk-ah, I’ll see you tomorrow.  I promised I’d never leave you again, didn’t I?”

He nods, still frowning, but you understand it’s going to take him some time to heal from this, even if he has forgiven you.  You can’t begrudge him for that, but you can only try to assuage his fears.

“Tomorrow,” he nods, final.

-

Gumdrop absolutely loves him, which is almost insulting, except you can’t fault her; you kind of love him too.

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jeon jeongguk fanfiction #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jeongguk x reader #bts x you #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jeongguk x you #rating: t #skswriting

[softguks]

author + fic recs

below are a list of writers and my my fav fics of theirs, pls give them some love!! don’t forget to REBLOG, SEND A MESSAGE, OR LEAVE FEEDBACK. sometimes leaving a like isn’t quite enough, so leave a small comment telling them how much you loved it! it really makes their day.

@sketchguk TERESA, uGH my lovie, my world, my moon, my stars, the cause of my euphoria, my queen, the angel from the heavens. she is an incredible writer, and i’ve read all of her works probably thirty million times. they’re sweet, amazing, and definite must-reads! READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST, it’s worth it i promise 🥺

-> kiss the girl; worth the wait; lover to lean on; 10 muses

@sleepyjhs​ violet??? omg, her reactions, drabbles, and writings are so soft and lovely!! pls give her a read, send her some love, reblog her amazing works, and leave come comments! she’s such a sweet angel, and her blog is beautiful (so aesthetically pleasing)

@gukyi GUYI!! guys, this is a no-brainer. i’m sure you’ve read her fics, if not, go give her a read. her fics are absolutely amazing, incredible, and every positive word in the world. the amount of talent she pours into each piece of writing is incredible and phenomenal, she is literally one of the most talented writers on here. go send her some love if you haven’t already!

-> the millionaire & his lover; raspberry truffles; the courtship chronicles; if i told you; the underwear thief; the coffee shop contract

@jamaisjoons hi i love solaris, she owns my heart. anyways, she is a pretty-well known blog in my opinion, and totally deserves it! her writings are amazing, incredible, and i love them so much. her banners are super cute like her too 🥺 she’s the sweetest person, her fics are some of my go-to rereads and my all-time favorites. pls go flood her inbox with love, she’s an incredible angel.

-> faded love; the sea & the storm; love alive

@honeymoonjin​ guys sora is the most beautiful soul on here 🥺 i love her fics so much, they bring out the ugly tears, the soft feelings, the uwu hours, and emotions i didn’t know i had. i’ve read her entire masterlist probably a billion times because of how talented she is, like skskksksksk?? i don’t understand. go bombard her with love, adoration, and feedback for her lovely fics. she writes them so well, and they’re also hilarious to read!!

-> florezco; anpanman

@jungshookz​ CEE!! omg i love all of her fics. each and every single one of them is absolutely incredible. i love the style of her writing, i love the hilarious interactions, the tropes, and everything about her fics. she is one of my all-time favorite blogs that i’ve come across, please send her lots of love if you haven’t already!! she is so so talented and incredible, make sure to check out her drabbles and tags!! it’s always hilarious and so much fun to read her fics -- i cackle like a witCH--

-> cowabunga baby; caramel macchiato; gymrat jungkook; beneath the water; suit & tie; soccer coach jungkook; yoga instructor jungkook; ta! jimin; ballet teacher jimin (OMG MY FAV)

@junqkook hi yara is bomb guys. yara’s fics are oh-so-incredible and she’s one of the first blogs i came across in this fandom!! there’s something about the way she writes, the way her words seem to flow together so perfectly that’s incredible. really and truly, she is one of the sweetest people on here and is very very very talented. go give her some love. btw her banners for her fics and her navigation is super cute uwu.

-> rottenfolk; the young wolf; into the woods (series); la douleur exquise

@httpjeon DAISYYY, she’s amazing and i love her. anyways, daisy is the QUEEN of cute banners and headers. she’s so talented and everything on her masterlist is a masterpiece. the way she writes is so beautiful and her stories are amazing!! the detail, the *cough* smut *cough*, the descriptive scenes, and the characters are incredible! gold! amazing! wonderful! i’ve run out of words to describe how lovely they are, but please give her some (re)reads and reblogs!

-> bunny blues (series); lovebug; sehebon; club ardor (series)

@kinktae rosyyyyy is one of the sweetest people on here and im totally here for her friendship with daisy + nora + yara uw. they’re best friend goals. anyways, her fics are like watching movies. they are so detailed and well-written that it plays in your head. you can imagine each scene playing out as you read and they’re really amazing. pls go check them out and give them some love!

-> soliloquy; camellia (two-shot); bitchin’ (series); flesh & blood (series)

@taesthetes uwu, cat’s works are some of the most amazing ones i’ve ever read. they never fail to amaze me and are always guaranteed to bring out emotions. thy’re truly beautiful works of art, and are some definite must-reads! her blog is so lovely and pretty too!

-> let’s unfall in love; amour; hiraeth; her masterlist (just read everything guys it’s incredible)

@ughkive mo! mO! MO! mo is my lovie and an angel. she’s such a beautiful soul and has the heart of an angel. her writings are amazing and some you should definitely check out! the way she writes is beautiful and i love her style of writing, please go flood her mailbox with love and support! much love to you, bb!

-> broken cathedrals; heart strings; bucket list; habits

@gukgalore hi rayan is my intelligent, gorgeous, radiant, and stunning queen. she is the absolute sweetest and must be flooded with love and hugs. go check out the queen, i love her, the aesthetic & layout of her blog, and her writings very very much!! they are very amazing and worth the read! many of them make me emotional and i dont know how she’s so taleneted. pls give her love.

-> young; jungkook breaks your trust (drabble); jungkook lies (drabble); something new

@guksheart she is one of my fav blogs everrr. i truly adore all of her fics and have reread them millions of times. they’re absolutely incredible, and always leave me in awe or speechless because of the talent that’s poured into each writing. each fic is a work of art, a masterpiece, and a treasure. pls go check her out, give her some compliments on her pretty blog, her cute banners, and her amazing self! lots of must-reads all waiting on her masterlist. also,,, on a side note lol her titles are so cute and i love them with all of my heart!! uwu

->  close the distance; in twenty years time; cover me in blue; plans for wedding bands; sugar coated; victor’s game (series m.list)

@gukills POPPY! or tati, i love her so very much with all of my heart and my entire being. she’s gorgeous, radiant, bright, and an angel blessed to us from the heavens!! not only is she the sweetest, she’s so talented in both writing and art! her writings are amazing and something you should definitely check out! uwu her navigation is so cute as well, go give her some love.

-> every moment is valuable; broken glass; just out the window (two-shot)

@cupofteaguk​ omg omg hiiiii. LOL im sorry but traci’s blog is one of my favs!! she’s one of the first blogs i came across when first joining this fandom and is so incredibly talented. i’ve reread all of her fics millions of times and i love them so so much. they’re so cute, sweet, and hilarious. the way she writes is incredible and i love the tropes and cliche plots that she twists or tweaks to turn into masterpieces. each fic she’s written is gold and i’m always excited to see her pop up on my dash. her banners are all so adorable just like her blog. go give her some love!!

-> like flowers we bloom; the endless winter; breath of spring; hopeless hearts; take my hand (i love this one v much!)

@onherwings​​ hi jo, i adore you with all of my heart and being. jo is such a sweet and talented soul that i’m incredibly lucky and forever grateful to be friends with!! all of her fics are amazing and totally worth the read. her writing style, the descriptive scenes, the plots, the cute banners, the funny interactions, and the way she constructs the relationships as they blossom is beautiful. it feels like a breath of fresh air, walking through a meadow of clouds and stars, and the fuzzy, warm feeling you get from being with people you love. her fics are beautiful and so fun to read. flood her mailbox with love, asks, and support!!

-> mask; the better one; reasons to say i love you

@angelguk​​  she’s one of my favorite blogs ever (mwah!) her writings, her blog, her aesthetic, and her layout are absolutely gorgeous!! uwu they make me soft just looking at the pretty colors, matching themes, and accents. her writings are from another planet, omg, there aren’t enough words and emotions in the world to describe how utterly incredible they are. her writing style is just phenomenal and i love the way her words weave together like strands of silk into works of art. literally, hands down, one of the best writers i’ve come across on this site. i love everything about her blog and i’m sure she’s an even more amazing and beautiful person.

-> breakfast in bed; heartfelt; i wish i missed my ex; amour; phases

@cutaepatootie​​​ hi sara seems like such a lovely and sweet person so pls give her some love. ask about her day, tell her a joke, make her laugh, make her smile today. :D her writings are incredible. “A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon” hit so hard. i was tearing up, nearly balling my eyes out because of how realistic and genuine her fics feel. it sounds silly, but they feel like their own little worlds, waiting for you to get lost in. they bring out so many feelings and thoughts that i didn’t know i had, or haven’t really thought about. i think about it so often, and she’s one of the first blogs i came across. pls check out her fics and give her some reblogs!

a fallen bookmark on a thursday afternoon; the blue princess and her red rose; animal (series); a brief story of time; touched by a fallen star

@minflix​​​ elle is so very lovely and sweet. she reminds me of flowers because of how sweet and beautiful she is, i hope she continues to blossom. she reminds me of the ocean because of how strong, majestic, and powerful her energy and soul are. her url is so clever, we stan an intellectual in this household!! her banners are amazing??? like??? what??? when i saw them i gasped and proceeded to stare at them in wonder. her fics are even better guys!! what a surprise, pls go read them. they’re masterpieces and i’ve reread them too many times to admit. but in all seriousness, she’s absolutely wonderful and i’m super lucky to know her. go give her some love, lots of love to the sweetest bean!!

break the ice; much better; spellbound; a lack of color; the city comes alive

@yourdelights​​ dee! deE! dEE! DEE! dee is such a talented and sweet soul. like??? she’s so sweet? you could get diabetes just from talking to her. nO seriously, she’s one of the friendliest, kindest, and nicest people on here. her fics are adorable and very funny as well as entertaining. her banners, her theme, and her navigation are so cute and stunning just like she is. go give her some love, send her some asks, start a conversation, make her smile, and be her friend!!

-> the best part of me is you; i’m sorry (drabble)

@diortae​​ hi guys, isabel is amazing, stunning, radiant, and a literal ball of sunshine. go send her some love, reblog her fics, and make her smile!! uwu she’s such a sweet person with an even sweeter personality. her fics are so cute, funny, and fascinating. pls pls pls, check out her most recent fic if you haven’t already “An Abundance of Mondays”. each fic is its own world and tale, with its own special traits and unique twists. i love her banners and her writing style very very much. i would give her flowers if i could.

-> an abundance of mondays; the spaces between; until the spring comes again

#fic recs #blog recs #bts writing #bts scenario #bts reaction #bts fluff #bts masterlist #bts angst #bts smut

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2 e9 Live Blog

“The Troubles of the Strong”

GOSH DANG 2 HOUR COMMUTES FROM WORK I woke up at 4am just to get to work early specifically so I could leave early I could watch this episode sooner because THIS IS THE EPISODE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER OK Ive just been vibrating at my desk all day fluctuating somewhere between ‘awerstdyfcvgbjhkn’ and ‘SADFVYNTBGVRFCE’ IM NOT mentally or emotionally prepared so WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY IMMA WATCHHHH

as always I’m watching from the perspective of someone who is up to date on the Web comic and Manga

“I know that head” *Immediatley cuts to opening theme* I SCREAM i wasnt expecting that nor am I prepared to see Zombieman not even the same 2 pictures of him that ive seen all season help my stomach is in knots and i cannot

asdfghjkl I can tell already this live blog is gonna be SOOOOO BIAS just cause IM WAITING for THE THING annd the rest is great and all but I CANT FOCUS ON ANYTHING Im really not gonna do the episode over all justice im sorry sdfghjk

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CALLED IT IT WAS SONIC THE DOODLE WAS SONIC i was holding my breath cause I knew there was a VERY SLIM CHANCE it would be Z but i felt it in my gut It would be sonic uhg phew ok not dead yet

lol Bakuzan stopping mid boast and just screaming dude you should’ve known then and there to quit oh my god the music is SO excessive right now I’m very distracted it better be part of the gag… or not ok

Saitama just casually explaining stuff I love him so much sweetheart,,, pft “I was bored”, honestly I just appreciate how anime captures the beats every time Saitama delivers a line like that, we expect it but it never fails to make me cackle. Also, “that kind of strength should be illegal” he says to SAITAMA yeah ok

OH!!!! GENOS BB stop getting obliterated please Dr. Kuseno is old what are you going to do when you can’t rely on him for repairs and EYYY Shout out to Atomic, Tatumaki, Flash, and King for the cameos. Genos, are you really underestimating your Sensei like that?? Are you the real genos?????

OH MY GOD DID THEY JUST GIVE SUIRYU A SAITAMA FACE WHAT IS THIS CURSED IMAGE

ok in all seriousness Suiryu’s voice actor is killin it like I legit feel bad for they guy getting dragged by Saitama, U hav my respect Suiryu I still might not like you all that much but damn u makin me feel that character development

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FACE

guys I love saitama so much be still my heart it hurts ;-; this scene chouldne be as heart warming as it is right now hhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRISONER PRISONER FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSDGFSDGS I FORGOT U WERE GONNA SHOW UP I HAVE AN ODD LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHARACTER BUT GD ARE YOU ENTERTAINING AS HELL HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYOU BIG HAPPY IDIOT IM SCREAMING IM SO CONCERNED OH MY GOD THEY SHOWED THE BUTT RINGING I FEEL SO CONFLICTED AM I EXCITED?? SCARED?? PROBABLY BOTH

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok so now that the tournament is officially over I know theres still a lot to cover this ep before Z???? BUT my bloodpressure WILL NOT CALM DOWN cause WHAT IF they do thingS OUT of ORDER IM ON HIGH ALERT HIGH ALERT WHAT IF I DIE

OH HI KING HELP IM HAVING ANXIETY YOU KNOW HOW THAT BE RIGHT MY DUDE aw omg how are they both so cute looking right now??? WAIT also that was a smooth transition from Saitama Face™ to serious face woah ?? You know, with all that talk I wonder what the end game is for Saitama? Like, will the series end seriously or on a joke? He gonna find a real challenge or will it somehow be another one-punch? I am completely undecided tbh…

...i wanted king to finish saying “daze” so badly right thereu said yare yare plz give me the meme plz Ok the way Saitama keeps saying ‘Kinggu’ is weirding me out also ng is great and this is very nicely drawn

...plussireaditinamanga… PFFFTTT the VOICE ACTING-- King is such a good friend for Saitama really thank goodness for him ASDFGHJKL THE WHOLE REST OF THE EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD ‘OK JERKOFF’ im d y i n g

I MISSED YOU PLZ COME BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED BEING A LIL SHIT PLZ UR BEAUTIFUL also the king movements on the bike looked pretty neato

OK Honestly though why does no one know what the Hero Hunter is supposed to look like?? How is that not common knowledge among heroes by now?????

SCREECHING IM SCREECHING THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS EPISODE (i hope???? its running kinda late and I’m worried???????) THE NINJAS THE NINJA DUO ITS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM theyre so pretty i cri ????

OK MONSTER WIND LOOKS REALLY COOL I DIG I DIGGGG also I REALY dig the ominous music  and as this scene is nearing its end MY HEART IS POUNDING HELP  

MARSHALL  GORILLA IM HYPERVENTILATING AND SCREAMING AND MY PALMS ARE SWEATING ARM SPAGHETTI HELP MY EYES ARE WATERING TOO

my hands are shaking as im typing and i cant stop laughing nervously and my through is dry this is NOT NORMAL typing is hard im afraid to push play im afraid

its been 5 minutes i cant push play i cant

I MADE A MISTAKE THEY DIDNT SHOW THE OTHER HEROES FIRST HES ON MY SCREEN I CANT STOP  MY LEGS SHAKING I BREATHE

tfw ive been just mumbling oh my god oh my god nope nope nope for 10 minutes help help help nope

hes on my screen but i cant push play i cant open the tab i cant

everything is so much easier if i didnt FEEL but I have FEELINGS \

I cant even look at him i cant hes too perfect help

30 minutes i can breathe but like shaking ???? ???

ok it only took 45 minutes alright ok ok ok open the tab and PUSH the BUTTON

I lied it took an hour i still cant look at the screen im gonna die this man will be the death of me I CANT GO 2 SECONDS WITHOUT PAUSING AND SCREAMING WHY CAN I REREAD THE CHAPTER OVER AND OVER BUT CANT LISTEN TO HIM FOR 2 SECONDS WHY

OK im gonna start counting how many times I’ve paused from now on its been AT LEAST 8 so lets start there.

9

10

11 long pause his voice im crying his face

12

13 just look at him I cant my stomach

14 “DRAT” help me

15 i keep switching tabs but cant push play again oh no

16

17

18 I just noticed he definitely has eyebrows here asdfghjkl

19

20

21

NO COME BACK TORTURE ME SOME MORE WITH YOUR PERFECT GENERAL PRESENCE that was the most exhausting 1.5 hours asdfghjkl what if they dont make a season 3 what if I never see him in motion again what if i just die

OH MY GOD DRIVE KNIGHT MY MYSTERIOUS SON THANK YOU I CAN BREATHE DISTRACT ME PLZ

WAIT

DESTROCHLORIDIUM I CANT HANDLE THIS EPISODE I JUST REALLY CANT I JUST AND THE HEKKIN CAPTION HE GOT A BAD CASE OF THE RUNS AND OMFG MY FAVORITE GAROU MOMENT FROM THE MANGA THUS FAR NEXT WEEK I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i… no recap this week. i think my feelings on the ep are obvious.  Thanks for reading and somehow managing to get this far? I appreciate yall so much really. Thank you for following me being nuts as I am. I seriously mean it. I’ll see yall next week with the next with the next episode!

#im so conflicted #we probably wont see him again for a long time if ever #but #werzetxdycfguvbhinjomk #gott im himmel hilf mir #ich sterb ich bin tot hilf #was kann ich tu #nichts #das kann mann nichts #kann man nichts machn #fertig #alles mir egal ich bin tot #mein mann er ist angekommen bitte geh noch nicht bleib bitte #zombieman #my love #my husband #one punch man #live blogging #opmiss mumbling #hellfire flame #sos sonic #tempest wind #king #saitama #garou #suiryu #spoilers #anime

[ambitionsource]

S1 Rewatch - Maggie’s Take [ 1.07 ]

my favorite episode, my FAVORITE episode?!?!?!?!?!?! i dont even know how im gonna talk about this lmao

Favorite scene

I genuinely can’t pick one. I can’t. This episode holds such a concrete piece of my heart and trying to choose one scene out of it feels impossible. So some honorable mentions -- Lucas and Jack in his office after “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs”; the entire paint balloon sequence; Farkle & Zay actually having a meaningful conversation and him gaining a better understanding of Zay; Riley & Lucas and her “you inspire them” speech; Riley & Isadora at Svorski’s where Isadora explains what Lucas means to her; WHEN THEY MEET IN THE PARKING LOT AT 9PM LAMFKSDJGLDG; the divas coming together; Riley & Lucas’s final scene “maybe you don’t have to do everything alone | no maybe not”... LIKE GOD!!!!!

Favorite performance

Dead tie between “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” and “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down),” but I think the former might just eek out as the winner. It’s just... SO iconic. Sometimes I forget this song was in the show and it comes on shuffle and I just start cackling because it’s THAT LEGENDARY. Like of COURSE this is what the techies would launch into, of course they’d cause chaos down the halls and not give a fuck anymore. Also, although the influence is Lucas and the number is all the techies, this is REALLY Asher & Dylan’s first lead performance. They lead the vocals from the start, and are focal at the front of the techie brigade when Isadora and Lucas aren’t in the frame. Like this is truly their number, and I’m so proud of them for being so legendary. And then I mean... banger. Just banger! Top 10 performance of the season contender EASILY.

Favorite character (within context of the episode)

It’s gotta be Lucas James. He was a catalyst, a game-changer, a charmer, an inspiration, a troublemaker -- this was one of the first episodes where I feel like we get the full taste of his character and all his dimensions. Also the entire episode wouldn’t have kicked off without him, which is a nice role to boast. I still want my gifset that’s just “Lucas James + (:” and it’s all his little smirks throughout this episode -- because there were many. It was also fun to give him the chance to be a little theatrical, and sort of reveal that while Lucas isn’t a performer by any means, he is just as dramatic on the inside as any one of those divas, and that’s a lot of fun. But he also demonstrated a softer side that we hadn’t gotten to see much of yet -- in hesitating to hit Riley with the paint, listening to her actually say nice things about him, his “believe me, when I care about something, you’ll know” ... IDK, I just love him. I love a boy. This is his episode and I love him.

Favorite line(s)

“This is how all great rebellions begin, Principal Hunter, sir. I think you’ll want to be on the right side of triple A history. It’s like they say, you know. “If we burn, you burn with us.” That’s classic literature, right? [ The Hunger Games. ] Same difference.” –Lucas James Friar

“Sure I do. [ pointing to Asher ] Thing 1. [ pointing to Dylan ] Thing 2. [ pointing to Lucas, with vitriol ] Jackass --” –Farkle Minkus, when asked the techies’ names

“We dabble. In one another. Now and then.” –Riley Matthews, about Lucas James Friar

“I am not one to ever dispute the notion that Isa is amazing, in many aspects. And she may be the face of the operation, but you, you’re the engine. You’re what motivates them. They look up to you, I mean, you’re the one they march for. They take comfort in you, you inspire them. And that’s certainly not nothing.” --Riley Matthews

“I texted him. He just said… [ reading from his phone ] ‘white nonsense.’” --Charlie Gardner, on behalf of Zay Babineaux

An underrated moment

Everything in this ep is simultaneously underrated because I love it with everything in me, but I would say Lucas cleaning up in the auditorium at the end of the episode before Riley shows up. I love that moment because like... he is so disdainful all the time, but I think he loves that auditorium. He loves AAA, despite everything he hates about it. It’s his home, and you always love your home even for it’s faults because it’s a place to feel safe and come back to when all is said and done.

Anything I would’ve changed

This episode is the best episode on Earth so no.

First impression vs your reread impression

I loved this episode from its inception, and I love it now. It’s still my favorite even as we’re gearing up for S2 (although it might shift after S2 is said and done, it will always be the S1 fave). It has so many fun elements I love -- the PAINT BALLOON SEQUENCE; Riley’s crooning while covered in paint and thinking Isadora loves Lucas; TECHIES -- and just really feels like a *chef’s kiss* episode to me. I don’t know man, I don’t know! I can’t talk anymore I’m gonna cry.

#s1 reread #S2 countdown #1x07 #THE BES TEPISODE!!!! THE BET FUCKIGN EPSIOIDDE!!!!! #by maggie

[mistymark]

the one with the attention seeker.

part of the 100 things we’ve said project // lee taeyong x reader // 0.5k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which taeyong really just wants attention

warnings; suggestive ?? (its unintentional but I reread it and I was like woah this sounds like the start of a smut)

requested; yes :D - ‘Hi! Can I request for that 50 project thing? 81 + 94 with Taeyong. Thank youuuu 💚’

notes; I am SoRrY it sounds like theyre about to sin omg // prompts are ‘I’m not gonna stop poking you until you give me some attention’ + ‘Why are you naked?!’ // props to the requester this is SUCH a good set of prompts and im sorry I couldnt make it better :’(

“Taeyong. Stop.” Your voice was hard as you told your boyfriend off, not letting your eyes stray from your open textbook, as notebooks and loose pieces of paper lay spread out on the desk.

He continued poking your face, his eyes staring at you from only a few centimetres away. He was so close. No wonder you couldn’t focus.

When he didn’t say anything, you spun slightly in your chair, exasperation written all over your face, “What are you doing? I’m trying to study.”

He pouted at you, “I’m not gonna stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

You sighed, “Yongie, now is not the time. I agreed to go out to dinner but for now, I just need to study.”

He leant back in his seat, blowing hair out of his mouth in a sigh, “Y/n, that was four hours ago. It’s almost eight thirty. I’m just worried about you.”

You felt your eyes widen as you scrambled to look for a clock, eventually giving up and grabbing your boyfriend’s wrist, pulling it up to your face to look at his watch. He wasn’t lying. “Oh, I didn’t notice. Wanna order in? I’ll finish up in a bit.”

He nodded and stood up, leaving the room. A few moments later, he shouted “Ordered!” from the living room of your shared apartment.

“Y/n,” you heard him call you from your bedroom door. Ignoring him, you continued with your work – you were not willing to give up your preparation for the exam you had in a week to look at your boyfriend make glasses out of his hands again.

He groaned and left the room. Not more than five minutes later, he was back at your bedroom door. “Y/n,” he sang. You could practically hear the smile on his face.

Rolling your eyes, you spun around in your chair, immediately throwing your hands up in front of your face when you took in his appearance, “Taeyong! Why are you naked?!”

You peeped through your fingers, strategically holding them up in a way that you could only see his face and upper body. He wriggled his eyebrows at you and laughed, “Got your attention, didn’t it?”

Grabbing the closest pillow, you threw it aimlessly at him from your chair, “Oh my God, Taeyong! Put some clothes on!”

Cackling loudly, he dodged your attack and hid behind the door, running back to the living room to put his clothes back on. You shook your head at him, a massive grin on your face as you tried to focus on the topic before you. As your attention wandered, you huffed, stepping up from your seat and going off in search for your boyfriend. Maybe you could use a study break. 

#nct #nct taeyong #lee taeyong #lee taeyong x reader #taeyong x reader #taeyong imagines #nct imagines #nct scenarios #taeyong #nct fluff #nct smut #nct soft #nct angst #nct 127 #nct u #nct 2018 #nct mom #nct masterlist #nct taeyong x reader #boyfriend!nct #boyfriend!taeyong #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop writing #kpop masterlist #masterlist

[hp-again]

Rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter Seventeen - A Sluggish Memory

sorry im late but tbh what else is new

Mrs. Weasley dissolved into tears at the moment of parting. Admittedly, it took very little to set her off lately; she had been crying on and off ever since Percy had stormed from the house on Christmas Day with his glasses splattered with mashed parsnip (for which Fred, George, and Ginny all claimed credit).

1. FUCK U PERCY FOR MAKING MAMA WEEZY CRY 2. forever and always living a fred&george appreciation life (+ginny in this case too. she cool.)

“Promise me you’ll look after yourself... Stay out of trouble...” “I always do, Mrs. Weasley,” said Harry. “I like a quiet life, you know me.”

lol ok harry, that was cute.

- omg hermione changed the gryffindor common room password to ‘abstinence’ and i am CACKLING. passive aggressive hermione is the BEST

- do you ever just sit and think about what your life would be like if you could apparate? just me? ok nevermind.

“I hear you met with the Minister of Magic over Christmas?” “Yes,” said Harry. “He’s not very happy with me.” “No,” sighed Dumbledore. “He is not very happy with me either. We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on.” Harry grinned.

did i mention that i am completely and totally in love with albus dumbledore? well i am.

“He accused me of being ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through.’” “How very rude of him.” “I told him I was.” Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Behind Harry, Fawkes the phoenix let out a low, soft, musical cry. To Harry’s intense embarrassment, he suddenly realized that Dumbledore’s bright blue eyes looked rather watery, and stared hastily at his own knees. When Dumbledore spoke, however, his voice was quite steady. “I am very touched, Harry.”

this was so uncalled for. i feel personally victimized by this passage. IM NOT CRYING OK FUCK YOU YOURE CRYING

- ok jumping from that ‘aw’ moment, now harry and dumbledore are non-fighting (aka theyre both PISSED but pretending like everything is fine) and its making me uncomfy

- info dump about tom riddle. i know i dont gotta explain this shit to yall

“Whatever Morfin was, he did not deserve to die as he did, blamed for murders he had not committed.”

seriously tho how is dumbledore such a sweet angel of a man?

- lol idk why but im really enjoying the fact that jkr decided to throw in that slughorn has little feet

- dumbledore ends the lesson with ‘ok so uh i couldn’t do it so you go find out the real memory from horace BYEEEEE’ and harry is like ‘bish srsly?’

As he closed the sturdy door behind him, he distinctly heard Phineas Nigellus say, “I can’t see why the boy should be able to do it better than you, Dumbledore.” “I wouldn’t expect you to, Phineas,” replied Dumbledore, and Fawkes gave another low, musical cry.”

oh dumby. how i love your ambiguous ways.

all around a great day to read some albus dumbledore yall.

WELP if you liked this, follow me for more chapters!

#Rereading Harry Potter #Harry Potter #Ron Weasley #Hermione Granger #Draco Malfoy #severus snape #Albus Dumbledore #Lily Evans #James Potter #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #Marauders #fantastic beasts and where to find them #hogwarts #Gryffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #slytherin #Ginny Weasley #fred weasley